#friends&relationships articles

[transsexualunderground]

Hi this article means everything to me forever and always so I have to post it here

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #secondman says #Hi I'm mixed asian also #I realized tonight holy fuck theres NEVER any mixed asian characters #so um. i went to look shit up abt kim being mixed bc he is and then i found this article and i wanted to cry in a very good way #in the same night i mentioned having gender envy for kim and my friend implying i look like him and then another friend saying he could see #it and all that and then me seeing that bit about kim having a complex relationship with his given name on the wiki but #keeping it anyways and JUST LIKE ME FR and #Kim kitsuragi means a lot to me #secondman saves

[coochiequeens]

These men just don't want to be around kids otherwise they would be the fun uncle, volunteer for Big Brothers and Big Sisters, be ok with dating women with kids and have a good relationship with the step kids. They just think they were entitled to biological offspring.

Amelia Hill

@byameliahillMon 28 Aug 2023 11.00 EDT

Father’s Day is dangerous for Robert Nurden. Childless not through choice but, as he puts it, “complacency, bad luck, bad judgment”, he tries to stay indoors and ignore the family celebrations outside.

But one year, he went for a walk. “I met family after family. There were children everywhere,” he remembered. “It was terrible. Just so painful. So many ambushes and triggers for my anguish.”

There is very little research into men who have not had children, although that is beginning to change. Research by Dr Robin Hadley has found that 25% of men over 42 do not have children – 5% more than women of the same age group.

Half of the men who are not fathers but wanted to be describe a huge grief and isolation from society. Almost 40% have experienced depression and a quarter feel a deep anger

Now 72, Nurden had a sheltered upbringing. Reaching adulthood, there was a lot he wanted to experience. “Having children was a very low priority. I was complacent: I just assumed it would happen,” he said.

It was not until he was in his early 40s that Nurden started to get broody. But by that point, he discovered, women of a similar age had already had children, if they were able or wanted to.

“I went into this 15-year period of not going into relationships or ending relationships quickly because I knew that person wasn’t going to want or be able to have a child with me – or that the relationship wasn’t going to be strong enough to last if we did have a child,” said Nurden.

He said high-profile older fathers breed complacency in ordinary men. “If I’m honest, even when I was in my 50s I believed that it might happen for me. But in real life, the Mick Jagger and Jon Snow-age fathers are actually very rare – and in any case, it’s medically not wise, as regards sperm quality.”

What compounded Nurden’s pain was that there was no public or private discussion about how men feel when circumstance leaves them unable to become fathers.

“There’s lots of publicity, quite rightly, about women and childlessness but men are very mute about this. Married men don’t want to hear it either: I’ve had men with children react with anger, as though they feel threatened, when I’ve tried to talk about my pain,” he said.

“I was mute too until recently, because as I aged, I found the regret grew into a great pain,” he added. “Unlike many other forms of grief, this compounds itself as it gets older: I wasn’t a father but now I’m not a grandfather. When I’m even older, I might find myself entirely alone.”

Nurden has published a book, I Always Wanted to be a Dad: Men Without Children, about his story and that of some other men. “It turns out that there is a lot of pain, regret and sadness out there,” he said.

Hadley, the researcher, is childless because although his wife had wanted children, by the time she and Hadley met, her age meant the risk of having one was too great. “I chose love but that doesn’t make the pain of not having children any less,” he said. “When a close colleague had his first child, I was so jealous that I couldn’t be in the same room as him.”

Being a father is a marker of status in many countries, said Hadley, but not in the west. “While there has recently been a lot more public discussion about how to be a good father, we still don’t have any narrative or celebration about how important it is for men to become a father in the first place,” he said.

Paul Goulden, the chair of Ageing Without Children, said that, along with the lack of public dialogue about becoming a father, he was “not convinced that there’s this Game of Thrones genetic push felt by men to have children”.

Instead, he said: “There’s this mistaken belief that men are fertile across their lifespan, so there’s no imperative to get on with it.”

That complacency persists because men without children historically have not spoken about their grief. But, Goulden said: “I hope Robert’s book will trigger a change in public dialogue around this issue. I think there’s an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear out there about who is going to be there for these men, when they’re old and all alone.”

I wonder what their exes for these men would about them. Because the bar for Father's is so low that women showing they didn't want kids with them should really be a sign to do some soul searching.

Personal experience.......I think of my ex fiance who constantly said he wanted ro get married and have kids. However his actions said he wanted me to have the kids while he worked full time, he didn't believe in daycare so no job for me, and he would have to go to the gym almost everyday, he had a physically demanding job, and of course have his weekly card night with his buddies. And yes I stated all my objections but he had tunnel vision when it came to his fantasy family life. There's more but those were the issues relevant to this article.

#Men really being the victims #Families celebrating Father's day was ambushing him #Does he do anything for his father on Father's day or use his feels to push the emotional labour for that onto his siblings? #If childless men die alone it's because they did nothing to foster relationships with the children in their families #One on the men interviewed was economically stable in a stable marriage They could adopt #Shout out to that anon who sent this link #No one is entitled to biological children #A grown ass man was so jealous of a friend's baby he couldn't be in the same room. I hope he stays away from that family #Being a father is a marker of status in many countries said Hadley but not in the west...... #.....I posted articles explaining the fatherhood bonus versus the motherhood penalty in the workforce #What are they doing with their time and energy that they have due to not having kids? #Do they volunteer within their communities? #Attend social events? #Do they travel? #Do they try to look at the upside of not having kids? #Or just brood in resentment and anger? #I get the vibe of if these guys were younger they would be posting black knight stories on 4chan directed at women with children #A journalist just recorded their statements #A therapist would ask who iscthe anger directed at?

[karinyosa]

As a model for Brinker Hadley I used Gore Vidal.

jay parini and gore vidal respectively, the united states of amnesia / john knowles, a separate peace

id in alt.

#that elliot roosevelt line… kind of cunty. spirit of gore is in that one. to me #this is also just an excuse to share the gore vidal alan cumming wasabi story. because im OBSESSED lik #alan says he ''miraculously didn’t implode'' and basically just took a swig of his drink after he did That #but every so often he heard him making weird grunts… it was his first time having wasabi CRAZY OLD MAN #that article overall is kind of bleak though like. vidal was known as combative and bitchy for a reason #and cumming comes to the conclusion for a number of reasons that he and his partner had crazy intimacy issues which i don't think is like a #crazy thing to believe about him/them. like he had issues. i can say this because we are good and close friends. #howard was gore’s life partner #their relationship kind of sat on the border between friendship and romance but everyone refers to howard as his partner #which gore never contradicted #he talks about howard in his memoir point to point navigation after the former’s death #which is like. sad. they lived together for over 50 years literally they shacked up very soon after he came out of the war so like YOUNG #and he was reportedly kind of miserable in the last 8 years without howard #a separate peace #gv #web weaving #brinker hadley #john knowles #gore vidal #OH ALSO he was related to a number of politicians most notably jackie o by marriage #so like the elliot roosevelt line isn't entirely unwarranted

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

I am about to say something that will probably put a giant fucking target above my head, but against all good reason - I fucking hate this whole 'gaylor' trend.

let's get the facts out right now: 1. I am a non-binary dyke, in case anyone wants to play the queerphobia card 2. I've been a fan of taylor since fearless first came out when I was 11 (before some of you had probably even reached double digits) and 3. yes, this is inspired by the recent ny times article.

honestly I'm usually too much of an old man to be interested in a lot of celebrity news, even for artists I like, so I generally stay clear, but this came through my morning news feed via, bizarrely, ctv (fucking ctv thought this was NEWSWORTHY enough to put on their site which is bonkers, and if you're not canadian, ctv is a nationwide news broadcaster). and it made me livid - because this has now far beyond stretched the line of acceptable.

fucking ny times. this would be perfectly expected for rags like daily soap dish or enquirer or some other bullshit circus, where they spend all their damn days crafting celebrity stories of who's secretly pregnant and who's getting an underground divorce. ny times, in case they fucking forgot, do still have some sort of legitimacy to their name, but I guess they decided they'd run out of enough stories to now outsource to conspiracy theory level fans who's parasocial relationships with their favourite celebrity reaches deity levels. dear ny times, there is actual news still happening in the world in case you're out of ideas.

putting aside this bizarre so called attempt at 'journalism', onto the second point - which is that this. is. gross!! I've had issues with the whole 'gaylor' thing since the start. we, as a fanbase, have seen taylor ripped apart and broken down by this intrusive and harmful celeb culture that analyzes her every move for who she might be seeing, who's she interested in, which male friend could be a potential partner, etc etc, over and over, and how it's been both damaging to her and her love life as she's said. fans have even criticized the media for it and said to leave taylor alone! but now, all of a sudden, just bc you're a fan or bc you're queer or both, it's okay??? it fucking boggles my mind when so-called 'gaylor' fans gush about her and her work, always at her defense and say they care about her, and then do this 180 where they partake in a super invasive thing at her expense and don't even blink an eye??? making your own guesses by yourself is one thing, but creating a whole plot around the fact of taylor secretly being gay and pushing her to come out is a whole other ballroom of nuts.

let's get this out onto the table - she hates this. she doesn't like that you guys do this. she's already stated so and you all keep doing it. just because you're replacing the male character with a female one doesn't mean shit when you're doing the same harmful activity, just switching pronouns. you're not subverting anything, in case any of you need to be told. as a queer fan, this is embarrassing. it is such a gross over-stepping of someone's private life, and now that the goddamn ny times have posted it about it, makes the behavior even more legitimized!! while nothing excuses homophobia, if taylor eventually starts distancing herself from anything and all things queer and starts pushing back, I don't want to see any fucking one of you crying bc it'd be your own damn fault.

thirdly, even if, even if, taylor was gay - it's none of our fucking business!!! it's like all you up and completely blanked out what it was like to be closeted. if you're staying closeted, it's because you're not ready to come out!!! you don't want to or it's not a good time for you or whatever there doesn't need to be any reason for why someone doesn't want to say they're gay!!! it's hard enough trying to make that choice, and then you have the rest of the whole world posting ''''articles'''' about your sexuality, putting a million pairs of eyes on you - fuck, that'd send me back ten more layers into the closet if it happened to me! it's super rude not only to discuss someone's sexuality like it's the weather over brunch, but even worse to demand they say something about it! this is queer etiquette 101 people - you don't run around gossiping about someone's sexuality bc whatever that person decides they doesn't need your fucking input!!

basically if I could spray you all with a spray bottle I fucking would right now - nobody needs your input on their sexuality, celebrity or non! all this does is perpetrate harmful celebrity gossip that just hurts the artist you claim to love so much. taylor is a real person with a real life, she's not a storybook character to speculate over! please, I am begging you, stop this! go outside! touch grass!!

and at the risking of being meme-ified, leave taylor alone!

#taylor swift #ny times #I have had it up to HERE if you can't tell #I swear to god gaylors are the most off-the-walls people I've ever met #literally I saw someone post a pic of taylor at her birthday with a female friend holding the cake up for her #and with 100% earnestness saying 'the way she's holding this for her is so relationship-coded???' BRO IT'S A BIRTHDAY PARTY #friend: *holds up cake for taylor for her birthday* #gaylors: is this Lesbian?????? #I'm about to loose my mind #now they're crying about taylor's team slamming the article WHICH THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO #you all wanna play the homophobia card but I'm pretty sure it's less about the gay thing #and more about it being HORRIBLY INVASIVE AND WEIRD #the only thing I'll agree on is that them saying this doesn't happen to male artists was weird #it does in fact happen I'm pretty sure it's been happening to harry styles for a while now #and that's just as weird as long as we're here leave harry alone too #this has been a PSA

[coolfoxykitkat]

Not me casually sending my mom articles on QPRs to prime her for explaining the I am in fact marrying my best friend platonically and no it has not been a joke

#personal rambles #cassette tape #qprs #I actually found a pretty good one in men’s health magazine of all places #and then used that as a casually transition #like ‘hey look at this good article I found in such a weird place!’ #she communicates through articles sometimes? and it’s how she learns stuff best I think #and she also sends ME articles about queer stuff so it’s not totally out of left field? #I’ll have to be careful how I send the second one tho or it might tip her off before I’m ready #I’m waiting until after the proposal for the uncomfy convos with literally everyone in our family #I’m just priming mom with the articles so she’ll have a basis of understanding of what a qpr is #and that no we haven’t been lying about our relationship this whole time #and yes we’re best friends #but also we’re getting married and it’s different from traditional friendship #yes we’re in love but also not like that but also also not like that either but no but yes and kind of and it’s complicated #but I’m sure this short one page article will explain everything forever

[bluastro-yellow]

Harry and Kim are like Annette and Plaisance, like Cuno and Cunoesse, like René/Gaston and Gaston/René, like Steban and Ulixes, like Fuck the World and Pissf%%t, like-

#when you keep thinking about [thing] but have nothing coherent to say pt. 2 #there. maybe it will leave my mind now #or at least harry sees parts of himself on one side and parts of his relationship with kim on the other #everything is filtered trough the du bois lense #because he sees himself in the corpse (and lely) too and there's no kim in there (right?) #disco elysium #Annette's nose and cheecks are red from the cold......... #and she should be back in school like our ex gym teacher :'( #pointless microblogging #I keep making random connections and have no concrete way to back them up. welp #still haven't decided who's rene and whos gaston bc the uptight asshole who's inexplicably on the side of people who are racist against him #should be kim but harry can [spoiler for fascist run?] wear his clothes! and turn into a (crypto)fascist prick #(and I can see a better future kim write articles for some left wing thing. man he'll never do that will he) #(but that's just Vibes so I could be completely wrong) #last time my friend played I noticed it and also noticed that plaisance's sprite colors are similar to kim's (not the same tho) #queueue #my ''canon'' harry has incredible mirror neurons and is thinking about this too. harry's just like me fr moments #(but unlike Plaisance Kim is actually good for Harry!!! not saying that! #he just needs to realise that police work completely fucked over both of them) #(and isn't really helping anyone else)

[alteredphoenix]

As glad as I am that BG3 is being positively received, I hope subsequent patches later on down the road allow you to establish friendships with your companions and allow you the option to leave them at just that while giving you to be able to pursue beyond them into consensual romance, because if I ever get around to trying it out for myself I am not going to look forward to having my PC get sexually harassed over and over and over again until the NPC finally takes no for an answer and backs off.

#like. why are the companions designed like way? #what if i just want to be friends with them #why do they double down on their advances if you keep turning down them? #it's not only obnoxious but extremely uncomfortable #like don't get me wrong i'd still like to play it #but if i want to pursue a romance with a companion in a game #i want it to be done at MY OWN PACE #make me WORK FOR IT #i remember seeing that article where the larian devs say they hope they did '90s bioware proud #with their writing #and maybe the story is good idk #but i played DAO and i'm pretty sure you can't bang your choice in under 8 minutes #w/o cheesing it that quickly #idk i think it should deserve its praise #but that same praise shouldn't overshadow the criticisms it does have #and the romancing aspects - and the lack of platonic relationships - is one of them #from what i have read up so far #like if you can put in that much effort to include a scene where you can bang the druid Like That #then i think more effort can be done to flesh out that system he is a part of #bg3

[puthyflapps]

#I’m about to write y’all a novel in these tags I’m so sorry #the wilds #shoni #shelby x toni #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #n e wayssss #I’m in my “emotional devastation era” because I can’t stop thinking about a shoni unrequited love au where the two of them are best friends #and Shelby is hopelessly in love with Toni who is so incredibly oblivious and too wrapped up in her newly blossoming relationship with Regan #to notice that Shelby has been steadily pulling away because she can’t bare the sight of them together. It makes her feel like her head is #spinning and her chest is going to cave in and if you were to try and identify the final nail in the coffin or the straw that broke the #proverbial camel’s back well it would have to be the night Shelby cried alone in Toni’s bathroom after discovering that #Toni had given Her™️ sweatshirt away. The sweatshirt with the yellow elbow patches that technically belonged to Toni but had #long since been claimed by Shelby. The sweatshirt that had brought her so much comfort and warmth. Shelby had rummaged through drawers and #searched the closet desperate to find the piece of clothing – the piece of Toni that was supposed to be reserved for her but she found #nothing. Perhaps it was ridiculous or a tad bit overdramatic to be that upset over an article of clothing but when the words: #“oh I think Regan has it” fell from Toni’s lips with an appalling amount of nonchalance it felt like in that moment her world had stopped #spinning. The devastation was swallowing her whole and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Whatever flicker of hope that Toni could maybe #someday learn to love Shelby was promptly extinguished and it pained her beyond belief to think about it but Shelby understood how Toni #could love Regan. She was the opposite of Shelby. Everything about her was real whereas every facet of Shelby’s being was fake. There was no #trace of shame to be found in Regan either. She was beautiful and confident and out. She had no qualms about holding Toni’s hand in the #hallway or kissing her in front of crowd of peers. Regan was bright; she was sunshine personified. #Shelby was dark; she was made up of shadows and rain clouds. She couldn’t blame Toni for wanting to stand in the sun

[riinajournal]

17 | 08 | 23

I saw you again today. I missed you when I remembered all the good memories we had. I missed your laugh, your jokes, your company. I missed having you around. I missed knowing all your steps when now I learn about your big events on the internet just like any stranger. But when I spent a few hours around you I remembered why I left. I remembered how you hurt me. I remembered how you irritated me with your comments and how no matter what I did it was not enough for you. I remembered how selfish you are and it reminded me of why I left and why I shouldn't be missing you.

#love #love quotes #diary #article #poem #fiction #photography #my writing #poets on tumblr #journal #toxic #toxicity #toxic relationship #painful #greiving #i miss him #i miss my friends #i miss her

[eldritchmochi]

i keep seeing posts about how the term "boundaries" is constantly misused to inflict rules on other people when boundaries "only relate to rules for yourself" which..... isnt true according to things ive discussed with my therapist? like yeah the overuse of medical terms as get out of jail free buzzwords is bad but also strict black or white rulings of a concept in a tweet or two is also bad, especially since i have not seen a damn one of these come from a credible source, either a mental health professional or like, clinical terminology sources

CONCRETE EXAMPLE where i set a boundary with roommates that required behavior changes on their part that my therapist named specifically as a boundary when i described it:

dishes are the biggest point of contention in basically any living situation with multiple people. my previous roommates were really bad at doing them, in a way that resulted the kitchen being really gross if i hadnt just cleaned it. even after many requests to do basic things of "empty the sink trap of soggy food so it doesn't rot" and "dont hoard dishes long enough to grow an ecosystem" over m o n t h s, i got nowhere with dishes being done regularly in a way that didnt bother me

in the end it was so continuously upsetting that i told them to not do the dishes at all ever whatsoever, i would take care it. mind, i was the only one who worked out of the house while commuting via bus as a chronically ill person with severe fatigue and i was putting in an average of 50 hrs a week every week for werks on end at the time. me deciding to take this on was not done lightly, this was me recognizing that it was better and healthier for all of us for me to take on this one task. it would result in me being much happier in that living situation at no real cost to the other party other than maybe the dishes would stack up a bit if i was particularly exhausted one day, but things would get caught up within the week

this did not go down well despite my best efforts, and i would not be surprised if this black and white portrayal of what boundaries are influenced that. this nonsense went down over like six solid months and every single session i had with my therapist had him absolutely baffled because he couldn't think of a single thing i could have done better

i am not a mh professional i do not know the specific difference between "dont do this thing it upsets me" and "dont do this thing that 'upsets' me because i am controlling you", but the blanket statement of calling something like this a boundary is misusing the term is black and white thinking. i have bpd, ive done some dbt about it and the first thing they teach you is how to spot black and white thinking because it us incredibly mal adaptive and *really fucking dangerous* and this specific trend is going to be taken advantage of by abusers just as much as coopting the use of "boundaries" to justify their behavior

tldr "boundaries are never about other people's behavior" and "you can't do xyz thing because it violates my boundaries" are two sides of the same abusive coin. people who have put in the work in a tangible and meaningful way, who are able to examine their motives and give grace to other people within their boundaries, can recognize that boundaries are a spectrum, like everything with social relationships and mental health in general

#mochi rambles #listen work has been absolute bullshit #like ungodly amounts of bullshit #i am so deep in bullshit i do not know how to deal with i have spent most of the eight days ive been back #absolutely screaming in a very literal sense #please note i returned last week after spending a week in the hospital because i almost died #it has not been a good month and i am fucking tired of these fucks who read one article about a thing #wnd feel confident making bullshit blanket statements #that then go viral #because people dont know the meaning of nuance #surprise!!!! turns out healthy approaches to interpersonal relationships have a lot of nuance #almost like people are individuals with individual needs qnd individual thoughts and individual histories #that impact how they interact with others and how they perceive others intents in their interactions #this is why black and white thinking is dangerous #more or less #im not a professional this is just what ive gathered from seeing mh pros pretty consistently for a decade #anyway im so fucking salty in general rn #but also specifically salty that i lost two friends i really cared about because their hang ups #resulted in my very genuine attempts to maintain a good relationship #being veiwed as abuse tactics #leading to them spreading slander to the same effect among other friends #who have subsequently dropped me #while me and my therapist over here in my standing bi werkly appointments are like wtf #and there has been so much of everything else that i have not had the brain to decide #if its worth the effort to try and convince people im not the bad guy #....... man i do not have enough time for all the therapy appointments i woukd really like to have #because fuck this year has been Something

[airyairyaucontraire]

movie ask

9, 18, 19

9. What was the last movie you watched? What did you think of it?

The last movie I watched for the first time was Barbie (2023) and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I didn't think there was anything particularly ground-breaking about it but I thought it was engaging, endearing, a refreshing take on a familiar cultural icon, the production design was absolutely beautiful and it showed a genuine, heartfelt understanding of and affection for Barbie and her history. (I would still have liked it if they'd included/addressed Bild Lili, but I understand that was even less likely than more than a sampled snippet of Aqua's "Barbie Girl.") Basically it just seems to have given a lot of people a lot of pleasure while trying to convey a sympathetic and encouraging message about being a person and, like, sweet!

I'm pretty sure I've rewatched another movie more recently but my brain is really not helping me with that. Actually, I think it was Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. I feel absolutely certain that Romy and Michele went to Barbie together, opening weekend, wearing fabulous pink outfits that they designed and made themselves and they had a wonderful time.

18. What film do you think has the coolest poster?

That's surprisingly tough to answer. I don't have a definitive answer but I will say one that I really love is the 1979 Muppet Movie poster.

I think more movie posters should have illustrations, not just photos.

19. What part of filmmaking do you find most interesting (ie. sound design, costuming, set design, etc)?

I'm really fascinated by what I'd call character design, the combination of costume, personal props, make-up and hair to create the look and visually tell the story of a character. When it's well done it can convey so much and both enhances and informs the actor's performance! I obviously love Mona May's work on Clueless and Romy & Michele, I'm a big fan of what the Lord of the Rings movies had going on (and although they went to shit in a lot of ways the Hobbit movies did continue a lot of that loving attention to detail - god, the DWARVES, everyone put SO MUCH time and thought into the dwarves, the fella playing Dwalin named his axes after Emily Brontë's dogs!!! and they were reduced to fancy extras, it pisses me off), and the Mad Max movies are also pretty noteworthy in this regard. Star Wars too. Oh, and special mention to how spotless and matte black Blade from Blade's clothes remained no matter how much gore was splashing around, and the fact that they put weights into the hemline of his long coat so it would swirl like Ginger Rogers' skirts when he spun around in fight scenes.

#Romy and Michele are married now also #no offence to Sandy Frink he is still their dear friend but only Romy is Michele's soulmate #that was like my favourite thing in the oral history of the movie article I recently reblogged #that the thing that really cemented who Michele is and how her relationship with Romy works #is that they had that exchange about 'I hate throwing up in public' 'me too!' and Lisa Kudrow looked at that 'me too!' and decided to say i #'like they were soulmates' #fuckin' perfect 10/10 no notes #like she's known Romy over 10 years #and she is STILL finding these moments when she feels connected to her and understood by her like no one else #I normally utterly reject the idea of 'soulmates' EXCEPT FOR ROMY AND MICHELE because they obviously just are #ask box meme

[mejomonster]

Dumb brain again was like "search how to meet people to date on apps" because I'm not good at it even remotely anymore

But every time I go down that rabbit hole I just read 20 conflicting romance advice articles til my brain fries and I feel hopeless cause there's no way to actually do all that conflicting advice if I tried

#rant #ToT #i follow tje normal chill realistic advice lol #but yeah romance adbice articles give me stress #anyway im on yesr idk 3 or 4 of tens of thousands of matches and no dates #i get its slightly harder cause i wanna wither a. make friends or b. pursue potential for love #and i know a number of ppl use apps for hookups or quick compliments or an additional relationship #so like. idk often short term so tjey dont want a friend Or love #but like. this many people? i feel at this point im describing myself in a useless way or somrthing #i tried messahing first i tried waiting for ppl to message #i even tried liking everyone not horrifixally toxic just to meet anyone in case tjey knew ppl id like lskdkdk #and that got one single date with a poly person witj a love who had nothing in common with me so we didnt even end up friends #and one very hot very dumb himbo who didnt realize i was askinv him on a date until hed left the country :/ #and of course tje type i Used to Attract: ppl who say they like or love ne and waste months or years before #voing Psych no i didnt lol i jusg was using u until i liked someone for Real #:/:/:/ #and no pleasr dont tell me to meet ppl in person doing tjings i like #i do things i like a ton and ive met many FRIENDS. not a single romantic prospect. #for half a decade. im good at meeting friends. not potential dates #and im demiromantic too lol so i need to date potential ppl for like 2-3 months before i even knoe if i could fall for em #but like. friend wise i met aromantic ppl and ppl in relationships and ppl i just know i definitely #wont be able yo crush on/didnt get crushes on after months. so like. online or app datjng is #about the highesr volume potential ppl to meet i can think of at this point #thw universe just likes me brutally single i guess #but i miss banging and holding hands and crushing and flirting dang

[songtwo]

people r insane the way they get mad over two people in a healthy relationship spending time together 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#girl what do U care . literally what is it to u how does that affect u 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #maybe i just hang around the most annoying ppl on earth . but man why r u mad we've picked each other's traits . literally that happens #in every single relationship not just a romantic one but friends always pick traits from their friends 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #and anyway . why is that so upsetting 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #like not to be self centered but man get a life stop caring abt mine so much im literally not hurting anyone by having breakfast w my bf 😭 #god it IS annoying in here #and its not like im avoiding everything and everyone. i go to class spend time w my friends and family when we can i write my articles. #what do u want like ...... . .

[lingerbythecranberries1993]

once again another article assigns the mother/daughter treatment to ava and deborah and i’m starting to wonder if one of the reasons their relationship is labelled by many people in that way is because it’s like the default to see an older woman as a mother (even if they aren’t necessarily all that maternal) making it difficult for people to see two women of varying ages as anything other than a mother and a daughter.

#like i almost feel like for a lot of these critics writing these articles #the fact that they are not intended to have that mother/daughter relationship #isn’t even a thought. like i think they can’t even fathom the idea that deborah isn’t standing in as a mom for ava #i think it’s just their natural reading of the relationship. which is wrong #and embarrassing because the showrunners constantly say that they are NOT going for that dynamic???? #but that’s what it seems like to me? #i think the idea that they could even be good friends or actual creative partners doesn’t even register???? #if this doesn’t make sense i am sorry lmao #cataloged

[babydarkstar]

oh okay so bruce springsteen and clarence clemmons were 👀 but everyone chose to call them friends

#me looking up if they were in a relationship #the article: they described their relationship as ‘pure love’ (but in a nonsexual way) #it literally said that. they used the parentheses. #bro they were friends for 40 years. 40

[eyesopentv]

thinking about how i was only in the hospital for a week bc i hated the staff so much i forgot to hate myself

#miles thots #tw suicide #actually what happened was i told the story of my coming out and expressed my anger at my mom for taking so long to be okay with my transne #in a group session and the nurse was so quick to defend my mom even saying she sounded like a good mom even after i told her it was the #biggest reason i wanted to die #and she was all ‘i’m sure she just didn’t understand’ even though i said i’d sent her videos and links to articles and offered to explain #myself if she still didn’t get it #this nurse made me feel so incredibly invalidated. i left group early and my roommate came to check on me (he’s also trans so he got it) #i was actually still actively suicidal when they released me but i hid it so well bc i couldn’t stand to be in there any longer #my friends saved me more than that place did. they let me crash on their couches until i was ready to talk to my mom #also- in case anyone actually read this: my mom is wonderful and i love her and we have a very strong relationship now. #it took a lot of work to get here though and it doesn’t change how i view what she did or how she made me feel in the past #but we have talked about all of it and i’ve forgiven her. she’s now my biggest supporter and i love her to the ends of the earth #so this story isn’t me talking bad ab my mom- just the situation and the response i received #oh yeah also they violated hippa and i didn’t realize it for about a year and while they had no right- #i also don’t care enough to do anything ab it anymore lol #tw transphobia #< almost forgot that one