#genuinely cannot stop thinking about these two

[gabriellaeva2005]

I really cannot express how much this piece of work means to me! As corny as it sounds I really found this story at the perfect point in my life, I initially started reading the impulse 1995 comics when I was 14 and I ended up falling upon this story when I was 17 I just immediately fell in love! The concept was so creative and fit into the pre-existing plot line perfectly! All the new characters are so enjoyable to read, Nathaniel and Jude have such a wonderful and also sad dynamic, as a twin my self every scene with them just really hit me in the heart! Six especially in the first several chapters was so comically annoying and clearly insecure, in a way that I think a lot of us can relate to, one way or another especially when we got to here is internal monologue, I’ve always been a sucker for the asshole character with an air of insouciance and superiority, who by the end of the story, just ends up being a pretty all right guy! And Five oh my god five! I love this guy so much! he’s just so genuine and someone who clearly cares deeply, and him being technically the physically oldest in the room, but also being the one with the least amount of experience is a very literal take on an experience I think a lot of people have felt, myself included, And I think we all know I’m a Three apologist, his whole story is just so devastating and haunting, part of me is always rooting for him, whilst also being terrified for what he might do to the other characters, there is so much complexity with his relationships with the other characters, such as five and four, every time theirs a seen with three and four the writing always makes me feel so on edge and is really able to puts me in three’s shoes! And god! The way three and five interact is so sweet and sad there relationship is just too much! The last chapter absolutely destroyed me!! And Bart and Thad are so perfectly characterized it truly just feels like a natural progression of their characters, the way they both are just really struggling to deal with the inevitability of change hit me so hard, like I said I started reading the impulse comics when I was 14 so these characters have such a place in my heart, so now being able to read about them going through these struggles, when I was also experiencing a lot of change, is such a comfort to me, it was like in a way these characters got older with me, and you know it’s always nice to see some of your childhood characters going through the same stuff as you, currently being a slightly terrified 18 year old, it was great to be able to read about two other slightly terrified 18 year olds, anyways I wanted to post some of my sketches from the past few weeks, and don’t worry there are definitely more to come cause I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop drawing these guys!

@cryptocism you really sent me on a journey, thank you for that!💖💖

#dc fanart #digital illustration #frequency #my art #art #bart allen #frequency fic fanart #impulse 1995 #thad thawne #I really can’t express how much I love the way the story ended #it was just such a wonderful conclusion for a character that unfortunately didn’t get that in canon #Also I hope you all enjoy my silly emotional support playlist #the over the hedge soundtrack is elite I stand by that #same goes for the meet the Robinson soundtrack that stuff is fire

[magpod-confessions]

i think the reaction to characters being unfair to jon is a good example of how fandom often lacks nuance and has a lot of black and white thinking. while it absolutely is ridiculous and unfair to say characters are evil and terrible people for being mean to jon, it’s just as absurd to say how they treated him was justified and there was nothing wrong with it. i think people have split into two extremes on this issue, which misses the point that the entire podcast is about how people react and interact and change when dealing with fear and extreme situations like this, not about who’s right and who’s wrong. jon was consistently treated with less empathy than the other characters treated each other, and held to a different standard. the other archives staff are much more willing to give each other the benefit of the doubt, and while they’ll criticize each other at the end of the day there is much more tolerance for each other’s issues than there is for jon’s. that is undeniable. they see each other as humans who make mistakes, and jon as a rabid monster who cannot be trusted. from their perspective, jon is someone standoffish and unfriendly who always pushes too far and asks too much and has growing powers that directly come from the entities responsible for their torment. he is both their superior in terms of his job, and he is essentially the favored child of their jailer. basically like elias, but significantly more present and vulnerable and less of a distant untouchable threat. he has enough power over them (or at least association with those who have power over them) to make them resent him, but not enough to stop the torment or prevent them from lashing out. when you and everyone else you know are humans who are trapped together and suffering, and your boss is locked away feeding on fear and turning into a dangerous monster like the ones who keep hurting you, you’re probably not going to be feeling particularly empathetic towards him. you’re not going to stop and think about how he’s a victim in all this too, because you’re not in a stable enough space to do that and you don’t know his perspective on any of this. that makes sense. it doesn’t excuse the way they treat him like a violent animal, but it does explain why they would have that us versus them mentality. also, all the info on the other archive staff’s emotional state from season 3 and onward, the stuff that explains why they acted the way they did, all of that is from occasional lines and overheard interactions. small pieces. jon is the main character, and we hear the details of his experiences and struggles and trauma and breakdowns and suffering. he is the protagonist and his is the perspective the listener lives in. therefore, he is going to be much easier to be sympathetic towards. if melanie was the protagonist, or even another avatar like annabelle or mike crew, people would be much more understanding of them, because it is easier to be sympathetic when you know every reason why a character acts the way they do. if we listened to melanie for hundreds of hours, her lashing out and getting violent towards characters that didn’t deserve it would be much more understandable. we hear what jon is going through, so we know his life is hell and he is a genuinely good person faced with impossible choices and absolutely terrible situations out of his control. the other characters do not have that perspective and understanding. i just think it’s possible to acknowledge that some characters did treat jon terribly, he didn’t deserve it, and it doesn’t make them irredeemable monsters.

.

#yeaaaa #magpod #tma #the magnus archives #magpod confession

[vellichorom]

Hello Discord User Vellichorom AKA Twinkie AKA Velli AKA individual who’s character I love so much who has consumed my literal every day for the last year plus that I have not stopped thinking about (literally, over three hundred and sixty five days have gone buy and every single one of them I’ve had this man in my head, Vellichorom, do you know what you’ve done Vellichorom, you did this to me.) 

NOW I MAY BE UNHINGED ABOUT THIS MAN but how about I take a step back for a moment to just, talk about it? To discuss the absolute mastery I feel has been carefully and lovingly crafted into him? 

I’m really picky about the characters I like. Yeah I am fond of characters, I’ll like them and talk about them and whatever, but NOT ONCE has a character CONSUMED MY LITERAL BRAIN CELLS like Thierry has. Of course he has an amazing base to go off of, he IS THE NARRATOR, and I will admit that I absolutely ADORE TSP and all of the lore that has been crafted into him... but that alone was not enough for me to be purely interested in him for a long period of time (cough: see me not doing much tsp stuff aside from Thierry cough) 

The way that you have woven in every aspect of TSP and its canon into him, and then MADE IT EVEN BETTER AND MENTAL-ILLNESS-INDUCING has got me gripping the edge of my seat like a feral goblin every time you post literally ANYTHING about him ever. You blended TSP/TSPCC/adjacent lore together in a way that makes Thierry his own thing and also the perfect embodiment of the Narrator.

I have hyper fixations that wane and grow over time, things that I have enjoyed for long stints, but NEVER, EVER, Has there been ONE CHARACTER that has captured my attention so wholly. 

Looking at just him as a character, I adore the way you actually embrace and show off his flaws in a way that feels so human and also just like the weird fucking creature that The Narrator obviously is. You paid SO MUCH attention to detail and THAT SHOWS! IT DOES!! The Narrator is EGOTISTICAL, he is AN ASSHOLE, HE IS NOT PERFECT! EVER!I won’t shit on other people for wanting that for their own interpretations, but by god if you aren’t one of the like, two other people I’ve seen PERFECTLY capture that in his actions and behavior. You interpret the scenes in TSP/UD with such a nuanced and in depth eye with Thierry that I actually ENVY YOU FOR IT because I WANT TO DO THAT TOO. The expression of his ego balanced with his simultaneous self-loathing is just a perfect coat of icing on the proverbial cake. You miraculously made this man exactly as loveable and hateable as the straight up copy-pasted canon. I want him to suffer, and I love him so much, and I feel awful for him, and I think he’s an asshole. 

His relationship with Rosemary? Do I even HAVE to say anything? No, I don’t, but IM GOING TO. 

I seriously have never understood how you and Tomie so amazingly captured that Stanley/Narrator relationship through Gore/Guts in such an AWE INSPIRING, BEAUTIFUL, AND HORRIFIC way. Like, I genuinely do not know how to put into words the way that I absolutely ADORE this interpretation of it. The never ending spiral of desperation, need and reliance that the Narrator has on Stanley (and vice versa) is FLAWLESSLY executed and showcased with Rosemary/Thierry. I know I don’t really talk about Gogu as much as I talk about Thierry, but I have said it before and I will say it again, they are AMAZING, THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND I CANNOT THINK OF ANY LITERALLY ANY NARRATOR X  RELATIONSHIP THAT PERFECTLY EXEMPLIFIES THE WAY THAT THE NARRATOR WOULD BE WITH SOMEONE, AND THE HORRORS THAT COME WITH IT. EVER. 

And the most amazing part is that you, YOU, a fucking EXCELLENT, BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED ARTIST, have made THE design ever. THE. DESIGN. EVER. No exceptions. OBVIOUSLY the enjoyment of a design of a character of such a nature is mostly up to personal taste, but for one second can we stand back and think about who the fuck we’re talking about? 

We can go based off of a few things:

His VA, Kevan Brighting: Mr. Brighting is a fat, old man. He has JOWLS, he has WRINKLES, he has WEIGHT not only to himself, but his voice. OBVIOUSLY not all VAs match their characters, but when you consider someone’s voice and the voice you assign TO a character, you usually want it to mimic that, and The voice that Mr. Brighting does for the Narrator is literally just that. And old, crotchety, fat british man. 

Specifically based on his Voice: Again, to piggy back off of what I was just saying, a character is meant to match the voice, you can hear the way he slightly slurs/mushes his words together, (which, by the way, if people didn’t know, slight lisps can be caused by more weight/fat being in the face! :D) You can hear him creaking around in his chair!

Based on context clues/general ideas of what the character is doing/does: The Narrator, as described in the game, is old (context clues people, context clues), codes/can create things using code, is not human (‘various human sensibilities’ gives that RIGHT away) and sits in a chair coding/reading shit most of the time. If anyone looks me in the eyes and tells me that a person who does that would not at least be heavy set, I will wack them with a stick. 

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID: this means that YOU MADE HIM! Look at him! Look at that man! It’s FUCKING HIM, ITS THE NARRATOR REAL! HE’S REALLL!!! I don’t give a flying fuck what my bias says, if I think of the Narrator I am going to think of someone that looks either like Kevan Brighting, or Thierry Ellis-Baker. There is no other thing for me. I can kinda smush other designs into it, and see it that way via The Square Hole /ref - but it will ALWAYS AND FOREVER be that. He’s an omnipresent voice that doesn’t show himself, when he’s not, he is NOT WEARING A SUIT. But he is FASHIONABLE, WHO is looking at him, seeing the fact that he wears a fucking fancy, flowing, stylish cardigan WITH A GOLD CHAIN, and saying NO He LOokS lIke A sLOb??? Because you are literally wrong, I would AND HAVE worn things that are LESS FANCY than that in professional settings. He’s wearing a turtleneck sweater, dress pants, and some comfy BUT PRESENTABLE shoes. If someone thinks he looks slobby they’re delusional. Like what do they think? That that old man should be wearing a suit for whatever fucking reason??? In his Office??? In his chair while sitting on his fat ass? (NOT TO SAY THAT HE CAN’T, AND I KNOW THIERRY HAS, AND CAN, AND WOULD IF HE NEEDED TO, BUT WHO ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH, ESPECIALLY WHEN CODING AND SHIT, WANTS TO WEAR A SUIT 24/7)  Also, tacking this on here at the end, you have helped SO much with my comfort with acknowledging my own body weight, accepting it, and liking myself more than literally anyone could ever have, and Thierry is a HUGE part of that for SO many reasons.

I love everything about him, Vellichorom, and it is of my humble opinion that everyone who does not and looks at him like he is anything less than what The Narrator is at his most basic, are dirty little liars who are jealous

TL;DR: Anyone who is disrespectful and disregards the expert care, craft, and love that has gone into Thierry lore and design wise can go and suck the fattest, dirtiest rock they find outside in a river, and report back to me in fourteen business days with their illnesses so I can laugh at them :)

Thank you for coming to my two+ page essay/TED Talk Uh... oh yeah this is an ask box... uh... what's your favorite fun fact about Thierry/Romary? :)

ujm jm, umm um that they love you

#lilydoesdrawsometimes #inbox #TSP blogging #WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY ADD TO THIS FUCK #an essay.... for me........ drying my tears & making me cry MORE #this is so deeply heartfelt insightful & YEAH MAYBE YOU GOT THAT GAY BIAS but it really does. help so mjuch #i really appreciate you having poured so much into this it genuinely re-validates me #soothing IF NOT OUTRIGHT SOLVING the insecurities i've been having for too long of a time #thank you so much lily thank you thank you thank you #i'm stapling this to my eyelids so i can see this forever & combat the demons

[hansoeii]

the best person I know.

#genuinely cannot stop thinking about these two #I promised myself to not draw them too much because I have so much work to do #but oh well #take one more fanart #I love them so much #dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives fanart #dbd #dbd fanart #painland #painland fanart #chedwin #chedwin fanart #edwin paine #charles rowland #the sandman #my art #digital art #ghosts #illustration

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

tumblr glitched and spared you all the most heated rant of my entire hoa fandom tenure

#idek what happened i answered the ask & hit post but it completely deleted LOL #I’m not gonna bother to reanswer anon’s ask so I’ll give you the abridged version: #i would not feel the need to post so much about season 3 of hoa if people would stop being such virulent haters #and hold this season to an entirely different standard than the other two #like it genuinely makes no sense #i cannot stress enough that you can like s3 the least #that’s your prerogative #but to be so LOUD and so WRONG #ALL THE TIME??? #makes me genuinely mental #SEASON 2 IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE SEASON #but season 3 needs love and so it’s been 11 years of me giving her love #anyway i guess i just gave you a take version of my rant #and @ anon: fuck you LOL leave me alone once and for all #i love having discussions and deep dives tho please do not think I’m @ing anyone on here you guys are chill and smart #and make good points and do great work and i love you #but if you’re a genuine s3 hater please fuck off to someone else’s blog i BEG #AND if you’re the anon who refuses to leave me in peace? i hope your pillow is warm on both sides #tess rambles

[myuminji]

OKAY NEXT WRITER I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT THAT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE GROUND FOR WEEKS BCS THEIR WW CHARACTERISATION IS SO??? IT HAUNTS ME PLEASE READ IT???

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47749684

#its about vash dtiching ww and ww having a breakdown over it (<- simplified) #i read this one particularly out of all their works um. i think 3-4 times now. unconsciously comes back to it when i want pain on my chest #procastinatingbookworm your ww portrayal shall live in my head everyday until the day my brainrot dies #oh my god. GODDDDD when i tell you i didn't stop punching my pillow reading through this #vash and ww heavy codependency makes me froth in the mouth #I binge read their stuff in two days and those two days converted me into something I cannot turn myself back into #CROSS MY HEART I WANNA DRAW COMICS FOR THE FICS BUT I GENUINELY DONT KNOW IF I CAN EVEN PORTRAY WTVR IS GOING ON IN THOSE WRITING //RIGHT// #also bcs if i imagine drawing the biggest wettest orbs for ww i think i will cry #just #ughhhh writers are so !@???? god bless them #delete later

[chloeseyeliner]

what the fuck??!

why is uni filled with so much drama?

i just want to study, work, exercise, figure out how to handle my finances and what to eat, sleep, write fanfiction that's never going to see the light of day, walk with nature surrounding me, be grumpy inside because the bus is over-crowded, take part in research, repeat.

why?

i can't do this.

i really hate drama. i have never been involved in it. ANY TIPS? 🤡🤦🏻‍♀️

#don't mind me #was just about to sleep because i have to run errands tomorrow #and this girl i posted about two weeks ago who i hanged out with today just. #seems to hate me??? for some reason #and i hate it #like i said before #i know when i fuck up #and i actually consider myself a quite mature persob #and she seems to genuinely enjoy herself today #and she laughed at my jokes and all that #so i thought we were friends again #and then i come home and i do some work #only to find a message from her an hour later #saying to not make fun of her #and now she is posting weird stuff on instagram??? #what is happening #what is this #can't she just... talk to me? if any of this concerns me? #i am sorry #i am not playing the victim i just have been rejected by friends quite a few times because i was too quiet #and now that i finally talked and had feeling conversations (regarding her feelings i mean) and thought we were okay #someone is about to reject me again? #god. #my best friend still loves me so that's- quite selfishly- validating #and my other friend who is friends with this girl likes me too #and they are wonderful people #anyway #vent post #seriously don't mind me #i just cannot stop thinking

[hella1975]

yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health

#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit #which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/ #and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it #so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly #i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does #which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it - #is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭 #like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things #im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them #like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time #whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down #and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO #so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am #and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway #and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like #and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl. #like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER #and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just #her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up? #me: why do you need a watch for that? #her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover #me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists #THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH #ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done #latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up #i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house #thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth #godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type #i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community #hella goes home

[basaltbutch]

god. i am so tempted to "take a break" from college to work at the ranch full time so i can save up enough money to leave but. my parents would 100% instantly become suspicious and retaliate and the whole point is to leave without them noticing what's going on.

#it speaks #they're very nice folk don't get me wrong!!! i genuinely do love them!! #BUT I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS FOR LONG #they have gotten it into their heads that i am 13 forever and i think genuinely the only way to get them to Stop is to vanish #it is seriously so grating #i keep trying to talk to them about it and they go :||| we don't have to let you live here. we are being very generous #OK I AM LEAVING THEN. GOODBYE. FOR REAL WOULD RATHER LIVE IN A CAR OR OUT IN THE DESERT SOMEWHERE #ok ok i just have to keep my head down and limit my treats per month. i can do this. i did it for 20 years i can do it for #...i was gonna write one or two more but oh my fucking god no. i cannot. #screaming killing biting

[truethes]

i talk a lot about kuro in latest chapters but honestly this is still iconic.

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜. #not even two seconds later: my gosh ur an evil bastard---- #FDYGVUFUYVGUYFVUGF I LOVE. ONE CAT. #i wrote this era in one draft this week and i cannot stop thinking about it like #can u imagine if he first met c3 w/ this energy tho like #kuro after discoverin hes now being made a martyr for this stuff: isnt it pretty selfish to ask someone else to do your dirty laundry for yo #u?* #flamingo carrying lady: but hes doing it for you #kuro: you're being so ridiculous i could die .... #( throws them out bc hes hungry 5 minutes later ) #anyway as much as i genuinely wish i could write my longer leftover drafts its just too hot to #we've recorded three of the hottest days of the year in a row and its :'( #gonna call down and then try some one liners on my other blogs >:)

[nothorses]

I was talking with my dad recently & we got on the topic of People Thinking They Can't Do Things, and like, he is at his core a well-intentioned person who genuinely wants the best for others, but he has definitely internalized some harmful ideas a la "anyone can do anything, the only thing stopping them is their own attitude". so I was like. I see where you're coming from, but let me tell you a story.

last year, I worked with 10 year olds- many of whom had never really spent time outdoors- in an outdoor education program where they came to spend a whole week doing shit outside in nature. the top two scariest experiences for these kids were 1) very tall metal tower, and 2) walking outside at night in the dark with no flashlights.

I tried a lot of different things to persuade them all to join me for each experience: I presented it with enthusiasm and passion, I did physical demonstrations and scientific explanations to help them understands how safe it was, I voiced my absolute commitment to their safety, I invited them to brainstorm ways to help each other and themselves feel safe, etc.

generally I always had at least 2-3 kids out of about 10 who opted out, or if they did join me, would spend the entire experience crying and freaking out. when it was over, they would conclude that even though they did not die- or even get hurt- it was so scary that it wasn't worth it and they never wanted to do it again.

then I changed the question I asked. instead of asking them to tell me whether they could do it or couldn't do it, I asked them to raise their hand for one of three options:

You can definitely do this.

It will be hard or scary or uncomfortable, but you can try to do this.

It will definitely be too hard, scary, or uncomfortable, and you cannot or should not try to do this.

suddenly, almost nobody was opting out of these experiences.

they would try, even if they were scared, because they know that being scared didn't necessarily mean that they couldn't do it at all. and more importantly, they knew that if they needed to stop, that was an option; they weren't trapped in their decision to try.

and the real takeaway here, for me, is in the nuance: people need to be able to challenge themselves and to be uncomfortable in order to grow, and people need to be able to opt out in order for opting in to be a safe option.

[sapsolais]

.

#i wanted 2 post this on twt but word limit + fear of being Jumped so here we are! DSKJFHKSDJHF anyways #thinking abt the plague that is Individualism and how so many people agree it's harmful on certain axes but neglect to acknowledge how they #still have this mindset on other axes #saw a post where disabled leftists were (rightfully) criticizing self-centered “leftists”. but i'd seen this post after narrowly avoiding #the same Bullshit Queer Discourse #and witnessing these two things side by side made me think like. Huh. #in both instances you have a group of people who consider themselves to be “just” and “progressive” but neglect members of their communitie #and fail to acknowledge their own narrow-mindedness. despite attempted corrections from said neglected members of these communities. #and it's FUNNIER when you have people who claim to be all about love when they hold 0 love for their communities. that's the thing i think #there are sooooooooooooo SO many people online who are only interested in talking about Themselves. and not in the 'people like me are #are often overlooked and others need to be aware of this' type of way. no. i mean like people engaging with meaningless discourse online #trying to prove that They are going through something UNIMAGINABLY hard and that their word is absolute (it is usually just white #folks in their twitter echo chambers in all honesty. i'm sure there are other instances but i cannot speak on those.) #so you have people who are so self absorbed. people who cannot grow until they stop making shit about Them Only #these are the same people who will talk about being “lovers” like you are a hateful ass person do NOT lie #where is the genuine care and love for your community?? Everyone involved in that? do you listen? do you hold yourself accountable for your #mistakes? are you okay with being wrong? do people feel safe around you? #are you okay with trying because you care and not because other people are watching? would you do it if people weren't? #i dunno. i hope this makes some sort of sense #sap says #i could talk abt this for HOURS so i'll stop here. for now

[bonesrbleaching]

curtains

#tw vent #tw sui #alright with that out of the way. #i have two friends in the psych hospital right now. #what a fucking world huh? #both just turned 18. #it does make a girl feel a little worse about feeling worse.... #funny how that works . isnt it #UGH im just. i genuinely am so finished with everything. i dont care about graduating! i dont!!! #i dont have any concrete aspirations besides something that i cannot possibly achieve until 2030. #im tired and its that stupid wintertime bone tired again. except now doesnt just feel like im drifting through my daily routine #there are PEOPLE MISSING. GONE. #and i cant even begin to be there for the rest of my friends god knows #and on top of the world collapsing in its everything in gaza and everything in my immediate family and everything with everyone else #and i want to scream all the time and im not even hydrated enough to be crying so i cant do that and theres too much happening #i don't have time for this i need to get back on track i need to fix it #i just dont know how!!!!!! i cant even think about it!!!!!! #and on top of all of this because of fucking course theres more #i have to 'give it to god'. thats what every single person has said to me today. #what a fucking joke ! give it to god! stop being worried or sad or stressed!!! make someone up and pretend its their problem!!!! #i will fall apart and it will be soon. there is no unless. #ugh. sorry just . the world is so so bad right now and i genuinely cannot see it getting better at all ever. #america is going to hell everyone is dying or trying to die and i am not going to graduate

[honeyed-disgraceful]

I want to. Log out of life. Like. I told a guy about the drummer guy that was almost forty that I dated and he went "I bet he played genshin". I'm going to die btw

#i cannot stop thinking about this. its been hours #the fact that he did play genshin and had two wide-screens to play on #the fact that mf asked me 'will i go to jail for kissing you? what are you 17' ON THE FIRST DATE #motherfucker thought i was a loli #kill me with fire like genuinely burn me i want to look the most unapproachable from now on because im realising so many fucking things just #kill me #misc

[butchyena]

also idc how shlocky it all is i love the arg stuff and ive finally sat down to watch the monument mythos series and holy fucking shit

#the AHA moment like halfway thrus eason two literally made me stand up from my couch #ive only watched s1 and s2 but im like hooked i cannot stop thinking about it #genuinely one of the most well crafted paced written preformed designed etc of the entire genre #like competing w fnaf vhs for The One Moment that put me on the floor

[alastorss]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Alastor's antlers are embarrassingly, pathetically, unbearably sensitive.

He can't for the life of him figure out why—it's not like any of the other transfigured creatures wandering around the underworld were made this way. Most other animal-like sinners don't seem to care about or even acknowledge their characteristics.

Yet here he is, purposefully hiding them away just so that no one will discover his terrible weakness. Oh, what he would give to be like the others if only to ignore their incessantly uncomfortable presence on his head.

Perhaps it was a curse from heaven that made him this way, or karma that he was repaying from his life. Either way, he can't stand being touched.

At least, that's what he thought.

There's no malicious intent behind your hands, no glint in your eye that makes the primal instincts in his head scream at him to melt into the shadows. You're as gentle as can be, fingers running delicately along the intricacies of his antlers and stopping just at the ends of them.

"They're beautiful," you whisper with your eyes blown wide. Your shoulders rise and fall with each rapid breath, probably from the adrenaline of standing so close to an Overlord like this. And Alastor, no less.

Your reliable hotelier. Your first real friend in the hotel. The one whose smile cannot be trusted.

But for some reason, you can't shake the feeling that he's looking at you with pure, genuine appreciation even if his smile is a little wonky.

"Why, thank you, darling!"

He jerks away from you quick as the wind, standing tall once again and towering over you. His expression has morphed into something more strained—you can tell by the way his face creases up as his eyes narrow.

He was the one who decided to invade your personal space while the two of you were arguing. He just didn't think that you would be so bold as to get distracted by his antlers and have the gall to reach out to touch them.

The worst part? The absolute worst part of it all is that no one in all the time he's been in Hell has been gentle with him like that.

Add that to the list of things he despises. Or likes. You're confusing him now.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You have some nerve, he thinks.

Your hands have found a new home resting atop his head, with your fingers combing through his hair and tracing up and down the curve of his antlers.

It becomes a nightly routine—him on the barstool or sitting in front of the piano and you standing behind him with your fingers tangled in his hair and your chin on his head, perched right between the horns. Others in the hotel have started to raise a brow, but you don't seem to care.

So when you finally decide to break routine, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from him, his eye twitches.

There isn't even an audience tonight, everyone else already tucked into bed save for Husk behind the bar who's too busy with a bottle to care. The silence between you is heavy as lead.

"Is something the matter?" Alastor finally abruptly asks, eyes narrowed at you from the side. You shift uncomfortably.

"Why would something be the matter?"

He's not in the mood for games right now. "This is the first time you've sat away from me in months," he observes.

You look at him, surprised by his hostility over this. "Well, Lucifer told me that you don't like—"

"Lucifer," he interrupts, head now whipping to the side so he can fully glare at you. "Knows nothing."

You blink at him, stunned. With the way he's acting, he almost seems... annoyed that you've decided to stop being so handsy?

Silence overcomes you again as you just stare at each other, completely at a loss of words. Alastor finally realizes his snappiness and composes himself once more, exhaling through his teeth.

His smile softens at you, missing its usual edge. You know him like this the best—head in your lap and antlers exposed. It's familiar to you in a way that it could never be to anyone else. At least, you hope that's true.

"He knows nothing," the radio demon says one more time for good measure, eyes drifting shut under the weight of your hands.

Alastor has never liked to be touched before. But maybe there is a first time for everything, and maybe the safety of your touch brings him enough ease that you're the first he admits he can tolerate.

His smile says it all. He's content like this, even if he would deny it with his chest if you ever told anyone else.

"Okay," you breathe. "I believe you."

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