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andvys · 1 year

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We'll burn the sky | part six

Warnings: a lot of angst, mentions of suicide (reader's dad's death), mentions of drug abuse, absent parents, mentions of cheating

Pairings: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar!fem!reader | Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham

Summary: after finding out the truth about Eddie, you struggle with your feelings and your trust in him.

Words count: 7.6k

@littledemondani thank you for the idea with the *cough* kiss *cough*

Series masterlist

When you were 7 years old, you watched your mother pack your clothes into the pink bag your dad gave you for your birthday. You were crying, holding your favorite plushie against your chest as you stared at her.

“Please mom, I don’t want to go,” you said to her, “I wanna stay with you.”

Your mother didn’t listen and if she did, she didn’t care. She threw your clothes and your shoes in there, not even bothering to fold your shirts or your pants.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Is all she said to you, letting the tears fall down her pretty face, “he can take better care of you.”

“I don’t want to live with Dad, he’s never home.”

Your words meant nothing to her. She continued to pack your clothes until they were all stuffed in the bag. She grabbed your hand and led you to her car. She dropped you off at your Dad’s house. She gave you one last hug and a goodbye kiss on your forehead before she left you standing in the rain, crying for her not to go, not caring that he wouldn’t be home until later that night.

That was the last time you had seen her. Sometimes she would call or send you a letter but that’s all. She never gave you an explanation as to why she left you.

You weren’t shocked, even at the age of 7, you could tell that she struggled with you in her life, you saw it coming.

At the age of 12, you watched your dad being hospitalized after a concert. He collapsed on stage after performing the last song of the night. You watched him sing from backstage and when you saw him passing out, you didn’t even hesitate to run towards him, brushing Sam’s hands off of you when he tried to pull you away from your dad.

They told you that he was dehydrated and tired and that is why he had passed out but you weren’t clueless. Even then, you already knew what he did when he locked himself in the bathrooms and came out wiping his nose.

You weren’t shocked about what happened that night.

He was an amazing dad and when you moved in with him, he did everything to make you happy. He spent as much time with you as he could but he was a suffering person and you knew that it was only a matter of time before he left you too.

At the age of 15, you watched your best friend choosing others over you. She began to pull away from you more and more, every day. Always making excuses to cancel plans with you. She’d tell you she was sick but then you’d see her making plans with other people, with girls that didn’t like you.

That didn’t shock you either.

At the age of 17, your life changed forever.

On Christmas Eve, you came home after visiting Sam and his family. You brought the cookies that his kids made, the ones that your dad loved so much. You placed them on the counter before you went looking for him, thinking that you would find him in his office.

You could still smell his cologne and the pine from the christmas tree that stood in the large living room whenever you thought of that day.

A dreadful feeling settled in your stomach when you didn’t hear his voice or the sound of his guitar playing.

He wasn’t in his office, he wasn’t in his bedroom either and deep down you already knew what you would find. You called out to him with a shaky voice as you neared the open bathroom door. You opened it fully and the sight in front of you made you want to throw up.

Your dad was laying on the bathroom floor, needle still sticking inside his skin, his eyes were closed, he was already gone.

You ran towards him and dropped to your knees, you pulled his dead body into your lap and cried for him to wake up even though you knew that he would never wake up again, he would never open his eyes again, he would never come back again.

What you found that night didn't shock you either, you saw it coming. He had been dead for a long time already, what was left was only an empty shell.

But nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared you for this moment.

You stand frozen in place, your heart is racing in your chest, you feel the emptiness in your stomach starting to eat at you. The coil in your throat makes you struggle to breath.

Her lips are moving but you can’t hear what she is saying.

You blink, furrowing your brows as you tear your eyes away from her and look into those brown eyes that you have found home in. He is staring at you, looking into your eyes with shock, sadness, panic, regret and guilt, the guilt that has been there so many times, the guilt that you couldn’t explain until now.

And even though she is there and other's are rushing past you, no one else exists in that moment but the two of you as you stare into each other's eyes.

You are confused and lost. There is no other emotions yet, just endless confusion.

Your eyes trail down to her hand that is resting on his chest, her body is pressed against his, she is smiling as she looks up at him, not realizing that he isn’t even listening to a word she is saying.

Your breath gets caught in your throat when you notice that his hand is laying on the small of her back. The hand that had been holding yours a few moments ago. Your eyes find his again and you can’t even hide the shock on your face.

You don’t need words, you don’t need an explanation, you don't need to ask questions to find out what this is.

She is his. He is hers. They are together.

How long have they been together? How long has he been keeping this from you?

Chrissy.

His voice calling her name echoes in your mind.

Chrissy. Chrissy. Chrissy.

You have heard that name before.

He feels sick, he feels like crying, he feels like taking your hand in his and running away, not even caring about the girl in his arms, that one he hasn’t thought about once today.

His heart aches in his chest when he sees the look on your face.

He pleads with his eyes, he blinks as he feels the tears welling up in his eyes.

‘What have I done?’ he thinks to himself.

“Eddie…. Eddie!”

Chrissy’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts, he tears his eyes away from you and looks down at her. Blinking the tears away, he tries to give her a smile but he can’t, he only looks at her in confusion. Why is she here?

She smiles at him and snuggles into his chest, “aren’t you happy to see me?”

He doesn’t answer her, he looks up at you but you are gone. Panicked, he starts looking around for you but he can’t see you anywhere.

He closes his eyes, a shaky sigh falls from his lips.

You let your feet carry you towards the others, who are waiting to go on stage. None of them notice the confused and shocked look on your face. Gareth and Jeff are joking around, Johnny occupies himself with his guitar.

The opening act is still playing but you can barely hear anything, you feel as though you are underwater, hearing the faint voices coming from somewhere on the surface.

Your chest is rising up and down heavily.

You don’t understand.

“You okay, kid?” Rob asks, placing a hand on your shoulder.

You flinch and he raises his hands up in surrender, “whoa, it’s just me, y/n,” he mumbles. The boys turn around to look at you after hearing his words. Jeff furrows his brows when he sees the lost and confused look on your face.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, taking a step towards you, “did something happen?”

The confused look stays in your eyes as you stare at him. Does he know?

“Where’s Eddie?” Gareth asks, looking at you in concern.

Rob places his drink on the equipment cart before he takes a step forward, “kid, are you okay? You’re about to go on stage. Do you feel sick or nauseous, do you need something–”

“Oh shit,” Jeff mumbles as he catches the sight of Eddie, holding Chrissy’s hand as he walks towards you.

“Fuck,” Gareth sighs with an unreadable look on his face.

Your stomach drops. Closing your eyes, you let out a laugh of disbelief. They all know.

The only clueless one is your manager, he looks around with confusion written all over his face.

Jeff mumbles your name as he tries to place his hand on your shoulder but you slap it away with an angry sigh.

“Hi, guys.”

You hear her voice and it makes your heart ache even more.

“Hi.. Chrissy.”

You feel so much hurt and so much anger but you refuse to let them see it right now, you refuse to let these feelings take control of you right now.

‘Pull yourself together,’ you think to yourself. Taking a deep breath, you plaster a smile on your face and turn around to look at the girl, you have yet to speak to.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see Eddie shifting uncomfortably.

Her eyes meet yours and a smile appears on her face– a smile, you can tell, is not genuine in any way. You can see the distaste in her eyes, the jealousy, the coldness, “hi, I’m Chrissy. I’m Eddie’s girlfriend.”

Girlfriend. You want to throw up.

“Girlfriend?” you ask with a smile on your face, “Eddie never told me he has one and he usually tells me everything, right Eddie?” you say without looking at him.

She blinks, squinting her eyes, her lips twitch, “I-I’m sure he told you, after all he wrote all those songs about me,” she says, tilting her head as she looks you up and down. You can see the judgmental look in her eyes.

He wrote the songs about her? You want to scoff, you want to laugh, you want to scream and cry. He wrote the songs before he came to Los Angeles, he wrote the songs when he was still in Hawkins. All this time, he had been with her already, when he met you, he had already been with her, when he touched you he was with her, when he kissed you he was with her, when he said all those things to you, he was with her.

“What songs?” you laugh, shaking your head. You watch the anger appearing in her eyes, her lips part and she’s about to say something when you cut her off.

“Oh, you mean the songs that were shit? They didn’t even make it on the album, honey.”

Eddie can’t even be hurt by your words, the songs were shit but he feels surprised. He stares at you with a slightly shocked look in his eyes, just a few minutes ago, you stood there with a heartbroken look in your eyes and now there was nothing but a coldness in them, he has never seen before and it scares him.

Rob raises his brows, he places his hands on his hips and looks around with wide eyes.

Gareth clears his throat, he looks down and starts playing with his drumsticks.

“Didn’t you listen to the album?” you ask.

She shifts uncomfortably, playing with the hem of her skirt as she looks up at her boyfriend. He looks back at her and you look down at his hand, she is holding it but his hand is limp in her touch.

“It’s not my style,” Chrissy mumbles, giving you an icy glare.

"But he wrote those songs about you," you tilt your head, pouting slightly.

She hates you, you can tell that she does. You can see it in her eyes.

She only shrugs in response.

You nod, “well, I hope it won’t be too wild for you tonight,” you mumble as you give her one last look before you turn away from her and Eddie. The boys are all avoiding looking into your eyes and you scoff at them.

Reaching for the glass of whiskey that Rob placed on the table.

“Wait–” Rob mumbles but quickly stops when he sees the anger in your eyes, waving his hand, he turns away from you.

Eddie watches with a bad feeling in his chest.

You slam the now empty glass back on the table and take a look at him, “better get your good luck kiss, Munson,” you mutter as you reach for the red microphone on the table.

His lips part, he wants to say something but no words come out.

The soft look in your eyes long gone, all there is now is the angry, betrayed and cold look in your eyes and it breaks his heart. He wants to take your hand, he wants to leave this place, he wants to explain everything, he wants to pull you into his arms, he wants to kiss you again and beg you to go back to the way things were.

Everyone notices the shift of energy. Everyone notices the anger and the intensity in your voice.

You don’t change anything about your performance with Eddie, you let him touch you the way he always does, you let him pull you closer, you let him touch your waist, you let him lean his forehead against yours, you let him sing in your microphone with you.

You can feel his fear, his regret, his guilt.

He can feel your anger, your pain and the stiffness in your body when he lays his hands on your body.

The anger and the rage is so clear in your voice and in some weird way, it makes you even better.

Usually, you engage with the crowd a lot more but tonight, all you see is Eddie. You look into his eyes with so much anger, it makes him nervous.

The pain doesn’t hit you until the last song- the one that you have spend so much time working on with him. The realization that floods through you makes your heart hurt the way it never has before. Everything begins to make sense. Why he never told you, why they boys never told you.

He used you, in every way possible and the realization makes you feel sick.

You let him take your hand as you say your goodbye’s and you let him keep holding your hand when you exit the stage. You see Rob staring at you in concern and you see Chrissy staring at yours and Eddie’s hands with anger in her eyes and it only makes you even more sick.

He has a girlfriend, he had one all this time.

You rip your hand out of his.

“What was that?” Gareth asks you in excitement, blind to the angry tears in your eyes, “you were fucking fantastic out there tonight!”

You huff in anger as you rush past all of them, ignoring his words, or Jeff’s or Rob’s as they all call out to you.

Eddie follows you with his eyes, fear and worry lingering in his eyes.

Chrissy walks towards him with a smile on her face, “hey–”

“Hold on,” Eddie mumbles, not even looking at her, “I’ll be right back,” he says before he runs after you.

“Eddie!” Chrissy yells in disbelief.

You slam the door shut and walk further into the room. Breathing heavily, you put your hands on your head. Your bottom lip quivers and your vision blurs, your eyes fall on the couch you kissed Eddie on, just a few hours ago.

“I’m crazy about you.”

“There’s no other like you.”

“I fucking adore you.”

Lies. All lies.

You felt pain before, you felt heartbreak before but not like this.

You feel the tears welling up in your eyes but you refuse to cry. You scoff in disbelief and shake your head angrily.

“Sweetheart.”

You freeze at the sound of his voice. You hear him closing the door. You don’t even bother to blink the tears away before you turn around to look at him. His bangs cling to his sweaty forehead, his hands are shaky, his eyes are filled with regret.

For a moment, neither of you say anything. You just stare at each other. He sees the pain in your eyes, the pain that he has caused.

He walks towards you slowly, you don’t move, you just blink as you stare at him in confusion and disbelief.

He stops in front of you, “I can explain.”

You frown at his words, your bottom lip quivers, a fresh wave of tears well up in your eyes as you stare into the eyes that once brought you so much comfort.

Explain? Is he serious? What is there to explain?

You don’t even notice that your tears have started to fall. He cups your cheek and wipes them away.

His touch brings you nothing but pain.

You push him away from you, “don’t fucking touch me.”

Hurt flickers in his eyes, “sweetheart–”

“I’m not your sweetheart!”

“Please,” he whispers, “don’t do this.”

“Do what?” you scoff, shaking your head.

“Don’t push me away,” he whispers.

His eyes are glassy, filled with nothing but guilt and pain.

“What the fuck, Eddie?” you mumble as place your palms against his chest, pushing him further away from you and he lets you, he doesn’t fight it, he just closes his eyes as you keep pushing him back until he is pressed against the same door, that he pushed you against when he kissed you, “what the fuck?”

“You have a fucking girlfriend? What the hell is wrong with you?”

He blinks, looking away for a moment, he sniffles, bringing his hand up to his face to wipe his tears away.

“Why are you crying?” you ask angrily, “why are you fucking crying? You lied to me all this fucking time! You lied about your fucking feelings, you lied about the shit you said to me earlier!”

He shakes his head.

“I never lied to you about the things that I said. I meant them,” he says as he cups your cheeks again, “I meant them.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you whisper, staring at him in confusion.

He shrugs.

"How long have you been with her, huh?"

He looks down, brown eyes flashing with guilt, "two years," he whispers.

You laugh in disbelief, "two years and you haven't mentioned her once."

You know why, you know exactly why he didn't tell you.

“I-I didn’t want to,” he says, “I didn’t think that anything would happen between us, I-I fought the feelings for a long time but I– I couldn’t fight them any longer and I couldn’t, I just couldn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t want me anymore if I told you about her."

"How dare you talk about feelings?” you ask, not even feeling the tears anymore, “you fucking used me, you did so from the start!”

“What? No!” he shakes his head with wide eyes, “I never used you!”

“Yes, you fucking did! That’s why you never told me about her! That's why the guys never told me! You used me for everything! You used me for the songs, you used me for this fucking band, you knew who I was– who my dad was! You needed me and you needed to make sure that I stayed, that’s why you spent so much fucking time with me, that’s why you made me like you, that’s why you made me fall in love with you!” you scream at him, your voice heavy with emotions, your eyes filled with nothing but disgust and anger for the man in front of you. You don’t even care about hiding your feelings anymore, you don’t care about hiding the pain or the anger.

Eddie only stares at you with a shocked expression on his face, he blinks and stands frozen in place.

He knew you liked him, he knew you liked spending time with him, he knew you liked touching and kissing him but he didn’t know that your feelings were as deep as his.

“Using me for the music wasn't enough, you just had to go even further, huh? Was I her replacement? You needed someone to keep your bed warm?” you cry, throwing your hands up.

He doesn’t say a word, he just stares at you as tears slip down his cheeks, not knowing that he makes it all even worse with his silence.

You sniffle, your chest is filled with so much pain and you begin to struggle to breathe.

How could you let this happen? How could you not see all the clear signs? How were you so blind?

He talked to her when you were there, Chris.

“Chris…calm down! Please.. just stop calling her that.”

“I’m not coming home, don’t you get it?”

You shake your head at the memories. You can’t even look at him and the broken look in his eyes, you turn away from him as a sob falls from your lips.

His heart shatters at the sound of it. His own tears run down his face, he rushes towards you, hands itching to touch you and comfort you.

You want to pull yourself together, you want to stop crying, you want to push him away and walk out of the room but you can’t. Right now, you can’t, it all hurts so much.

You feel his hands on your cheeks again, he tilts your head up, “I never used you, not in any way, you hear me?”

“Yes, you did,” you whisper angrily, “you all did, I was a big fucking joke to all of you! You needed me for this stupid band, you said so yourself, remember? And while you were at it, you decided to use me too because she wasn’t there!”

“No!” he pulls you closer, you can feel the shakiness of his hands, you can see how much he’s hurting too, “that’s not true, at all!” Yes it is, no one and nothing can convince you otherwise.

You close your eyes and shake your head, the stiffness in your body disappears and you melt into his touch, you’re exhausted. Eddie leans down, his lips touch your cheeks, he kisses your tears away, “please, that’s not what happened. I– we never used you. I wanted you right from the start, I wanted you in the band, I wanted you with me,” he mumbles against your skin.

“Just stop, Eddie,” you whisper even though you want to yell at him and push him away from you.

He continues to kiss your tears away as you stand there frozen in place.

“Please, just stop,” your voice breaks and so does his heart. One look into your eyes and he knows, he lost you.

“I’m done with this,” you say shakily, “I’m done with you.”

His bottom lip quivers, his face falls and just the sight of him alone is enough to shatter the last piece of your already broken heart.

“Please.”

“Stay away from me, Eddie,” you whisper as you take one final look at him before you turn away.

His shoulders slump as he begins to cry harder, he wants to follow you, he wants to take your hand, he wants to pull you into his arms again but all he can do is watch you leave.

You grab your jacket and wipe your tears away before you open the door and walk out with fresh tears in your eyes.

Betrayal and heartbreak is all you feel. His tears, his pleading eyes, his words, his touches didn’t convince you. You don’t believe him, you don’t believe a single word he told you.

You feel stupid, you feel like a fool for falling for him, for believing him. All this time, he led you on.

Using you for the music was one thing but using you to fill the hole that she left when she wasn’t there was another.

You press your lips together to keep yourself from sobbing. Putting the jacket on, you walk away, not bothering to look for the others. You don’t want to see them, you don’t want to see anyone. You don’t want to go on the tour bus, you don’t want to go back into the hotel room that you have shared with Eddie.

“Y/n!”

You clench your jaw at the sound of Gareth’s voice.

“Wait up for me!”

You halt in your tracks, closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. You turn around and tilt your head as you look at him.

His hair is wet and he changed his clothes, you can smell his aftershave as he stops in front of you. His eyes widen a little, guilt flashes in them, he speaks your name softly.

“What do you want?” you ask.

The anger rises up in you again. He pushed you into Eddie’s arms, he did everything to bring the two of you together, all while knowing about his girlfriend.

“I-I.. shit, I didn’t think this would happen.”

A look of disbelief settles on your face and you can’t help but laugh at his words despite the burning in your eyes.

“Well, what did you think would happen, huh?” you ask, not caring about the prying eyes of the staff.

Gareth sighs, looking down, “I just, Eddie likes you and you like him, I just wanted.. to help.”

You scoff, shaking your head, “help? You helped real fucking good, Gareth. He had a girlfriend all this time and you what? You thought that it would be fun to convince him to cheat on her with me?” you point to yourself, “the fool that fell in love with that asshole?”

He shakes his head with wide eyes.

"No, I-I thought he would leave her, I didn't even know that they were still together, you were so close, I thought it was over."

Bullshit.

“What a fucking shit show,” you mumble before you walk away to look for one of the security guards that will get you out of the venue. You don’t want to be around any of them tonight.

Eddie walks out of the room after wiping the tears off that continued to fall after you left.

“There you are,” Chrissy says as she walks towards him after leaving the conversation with Rob.

He plasters a smile on his face as he looks at his girlfriend.

“Is everything okay?” she asks, reaching for his hand.

He nods, “yeah, everything is okay, Chrissy,” he lies.

She furrows her brows and stares at her boyfriend, “you know, I thought you’d be happier to see me.”

“I am happy, Chris,” he mumbles, “I’m just tired.”

A breathy sigh leaves her lips, she stands on her tippy toes and places her hands on his chest as she starts to kiss his neck, “are you really? I missed you,” she purrs as she continues to kiss his neck, “I thought we’d make up for lost time tonight.”

Eddie closes his eyes, he places his hands on her waist and sighs, not out of pleasure but out of frustration. He can’t do this, he doesn’t want to do this.

“Come on,” he mumbles, “I just want to go back to the hotel.”

She gives him one last peck before she pulls away.

The smile he gives her is so painful and forced, he is surprised that she doesn’t question it.

“I didn’t know you were planning a surprise.”

“I uh–” she lets out a quiet laugh, “I’m actually here for Aubrey’s bachelorette party, we’ve been here since monday.”

“Oh,” he nods. Of course she didn’t come here just for him.

“How are things back home?” he asks to fill the awkward silence between them.

Her blue eyes flash with something unreadable, she looks away for a moment before she looks back at him with a sheepish smile on her face, “good.. yeah, they’re good.”

“Do you see Wayne sometimes?”

She laughs a little as she shakes her head, “where would I see him, Eddie?”

He frowns at her words, shrugging, “at the store?” he suggests, “family video? I know you love to get your movies there.”

She looks down, “I never see him around,” she shrugs.

Leaving the venue was always a lot, fans were waiting outside, hoping for an autograph or a picture or more and usually, everyone would stop to engage with the fans but everything was different tonight. Gareth felt guilty after the conversation with you, giving his fangirls nothing more than a few smiles and hugs before disappearing in the tour bus, Jeff signed a few poster and so did Johnny but Eddie walked straight into the tour bus, trying to shield his girlfriend from the prying eyes and the paparazzis.

Eddie doesn’t mind the fans but he hates the media, the flashing lights, the prying eyes and the questions that are constantly thrown at him and at you.

As he looked around, he noticed that everyone was there but you.

“Where’s y/n?”

“She already left,” Rob says with a pointed look on his face, “with one of the security guards.”

“Oh, okay.”

You felt angry on stage.

You felt angry when you talked to him.

You felt angry when you talked to Gareth.

You felt angry on the way back to the hotel.

But the moment you stepped into your hotel room and turned the lights on, your eyes fell on the bed that you shared with Eddie earlier, all the anger disappeared and all you felt was agonizing pain in your chest.

He left his things here, the shirt he wore earlier is still on the bed, his sunglasses are still on the dresser, his leather jacket is draped over the chair. One of his necklaces laying next to yours that you have taken off this morning.

You close your eyes as you lean your back against the door.

You are still in disbelief, still in shock. You feel like a zombie as you waltz through the room, throwing your jacket on the chair by the window, you take your boots off and throw them on the floor. You collect some fresh clothes before you make your way to the bathroom to take a shower.

Usually, you are excited to wash the sweat off from performing all night but tonight, you just want to wash his touch off. As though that could ever be possible.

His touches, his kisses are burned into your skin for eternity.

You stand there for what feels like forever, your legs almost give out and you have to sit down to keep yourself from falling. You pull your knees up to your chest and let the water fall down on you.

You sit there until the room is filled with steam and the heat gets too much.

The tears don’t appear until you stare at yourself in the mirror.

You brush your hair and stare at the marks that Eddie left on your neck, the tears begin to fall, staining your cheeks once again.

He touched you and thought of someone else.

He kissed you and had her on his mind.

You were nothing but a placeholder. A body to keep his bed warm.

He was using you while you were falling in love with him like a fool.

You feel sick, you feel like screaming your lungs out, you feel like destroying things, you feel like destroying yourself, you feel like punishing yourself for being so stupid and blind.

You turn off the lights and leave the bathroom just as a knock on your door echoes through the silent room.

“Y/n, kid, are you in there?”

You sigh in relief when you hear Rob’s voice on the other side of the door.

“Yeah.”

“Is uh– is everything okay? You need anything?”

With your eyes closed, you lean against the door. Warm tears slide down your cheeks, your breathing gets heavy and you can feel yourself nearing a breakdown.

“No, I’m good, I’m just gonna get some sleep now,” you say.

“Okay. Don’t miss breakfast tomorrow, alright?”

“I won’t.”

“Good night, kid.”

“Night.”

You drag yourself to the bed, throwing Eddie’s shirt on the ground as you lift the covers and crawl inside. The moment your head hits the pillow and you smell him, a sob falls from your lips. You squeeze your eyes shut and pull the blanket up to your chest.

The pain is unbearable.

You never understood what your dad felt like when he got his heart broken, you could only imagine it.

Now you understand it.

Now you understand everything.

Through the thin hotel room walls, Eddie can hear you crying. He can hear your sobs, he can hear you suffering. Because of him. He wants nothing more than to go over to your room and pull you into his arms, hold you and take away all the pain that he has caused but he can’t.

Another girl is laying in his arms, snuggling into his chest with a sigh. She sleeps soundly in his arms.

Eddie looks down at her and his heart hurts. She is not the one he wants any longer. He doesn’t want her in his arms, he wants you.

Your cries make him cry, hot tears run down his skin, staining the pillow he is lying on. He broke your heart and his own too.

Losing you was something he was always afraid of but he hoped that he could prevent it, he hoped that he could break things off with her before you found out.

But everything he had built with you fell apart in one night.

And he knows that there is nothing he can do to change it, there is nothing he can do to fix it. He ruined it all himself.

Maybe there is a way for you to fall back together but deep down he knows, he lost you.

If there is one useful thing that your mother has taught you in one of the few phone calls you have had with her, it’s to never show how much you’re hurting.

‘You always gotta look good, even if you don’t feel good. You don’t need others to be all up in your business and see how much you’re suffering. They want to see you suffer, don’t show them.’

So you pull yourself together even if you don’t feel like it.

‘Always make sure your hair looks good, fix your makeup, wear your best clothes, smell good.’

You do your hair, you put on makeup, you pick out a good outfit and your favorite shoes, you put your favorite perfume on.

‘Smile, honey. Don’t show them how miserable you are, you don’t want to give them that satisfaction.’

You nod to yourself as you look into the mirror.

‘And if someone hurts you, make sure to hurt them back. Make them suffer.’

Yeah, thanks mom.

The thought of seeing Eddie makes you feel sick and yet you make your way into the dining area.

You don’t hear the whispers around you and you don’t feel the eyes on you, focused on something— someone entirely else as you get yourself a coffee before leaving the buffet to look for the others.

You find them sitting at a round table by the big windows. All of them are there, including Eddie and his girlfriend. You clench your jaw at the sight of them.

Your heart aches in your chest when you see her moving closer to him, whispering something in his ear as she pushes his hair away. It makes you angry, he makes you angry and she makes you angry too. You want to rip her hands off of him and you want to hurt him.

Why does he get to be happy after what he did?

“You spend the night by yourself, Gareth?” Rob asks as he sips on his coffee.

Gareth hums, “yeah, I–” he pauses to shovel the scrambled eggs into his mouth, “didn’t feel like hooking up with some stranger.”

Chrissy gives him a disgusted look as he talks with his mouth full, “ew,” she mumbles.

Gareth gives her sarcastic grin before he stabs his fork into his pancake and takes a bite out of it.

She rolls her eyes and turns away from him.

Rob chuckles, “look at you, turning into a whole new man,” he jokes causing Jeff to laugh.

“Yeah, he is ready to settle down,” Johnny grinnes.

Gareth swallows, almost choking on his food, he reaches for the orange juice and gulps it down, wiping his mouth with his sleeve to piss off Chrissy, he smirks to himself when she hears her mumbling something under her breath.

“Settling down isn’t my thing, look at Eddie, he is in a relationship and he’s miserable,” he says as though he is stating a fact as he places his elbows on the table and points to his friend with his fork.

Eddie’s puffy eyes widen and he looks at his friend in surprise.

“He is not miserable!” Chrissy gasps in disbelief.

Jeff clears his throat.

“He looks pretty miserable to me, Christy.”

She glares at him as she tries to come up with a response.

Eddie avoids looking into her eyes, instead he looks at Jeff, who stops chewing as he stares at something behind his shoulder, his eyes widen a little and he suddenly looks nervous.

Eddie's eyes flash with curiosity.

Just as he’s about to turn around, he suddenly feels a ringed hand settling on his shoulder and sliding down his back. It’s your hand. His heart flutters and so does his stomach, even with his girlfriend here.

You place your coffee on the table and sit down on the chair next to Eddie’s. Everyone pauses what they’re doing, staring at you with nervous and curious looks on their faces.

You smile as though nothing ever happened.

You turn to look at Eddie. You have to restrain a gasp when you see the puffiness and the dark circles under his eyes. He looks just as miserable as you are feeling and the sight alone is almost enough to make you cry again but you keep smiling at him, sliding your hand back up to his shoulder, you lean closer, “good morning, baby.” You kiss the corner of his mouth. Your lips linger for longer than necessary, you watch his eyes widen in shock, a little gasp falling from his lips.

Chrissy stares at you, frozen in place just like her dumbfound boyfriend.

A shit eating grin appears on Gareth's face.

Johnny stares at you in shock.

Rob smiles into his mug and Jeff almost spits his food out as he looks between you and Eddie and then at Chrissy who stands up suddenly, chair scraping against the floor as she looks at you angrily, “what the fuck?!” She shrieks, “Eddie!”

Chrissy looks down at him in disbelief as he makes no move to remove your hand or push you away from him or look up at her. His eyes are on you as he sits there frozen in place.

He doesn't move when Chrissy slaps his shoulder, he doesn't move when she says his name again.

Leaving your hand to rest on his shoulder, you take your mug and take a sip as you stare at him with a satisfied smile on your face.

Two can play that game, Eddie.

"What's wrong, Chrissy?" you ask with a sweet smile.

She shakes her head, furrowing her brows at your question, "why are you kissing my boyfriend?"

"Do you want a kiss too?" you ask.

She gasps, "I- what?!"

Eddie gapes at you.

Gareth can't even contain his laughter any longer, earning a slap on his shoulder from Jeff.

"Eddie and I share everything, didn't he tell you?"

You move his hair back, running your fingers through it as you lean your chin on his shoulder and he lets you.

Her cheeks are red, her eyes are filled with anger as she looks between you and Eddie. It's amusing to you.

"Eddie?"

He finally tears his eyes away from you and looks up her. His confused stare turns into a guilty one and she easily figures out why he looks so guilty.

"Chris-"

"You asshole!" she cries as she delivers a harsh slap to his cheek before she storms away.

Eddie closes his eyes, clenching his jaw, he deserved that.

The moment she's gone, you move away from Eddie and you lean back in your chair, taking a look around, you smirk to yourself when you see all the shocked faces.

Rob scratches the back of his neck as he glances at you.

Eddie speaks your name softly.

You expected him to get mad at you, to yell at you and ask you why you did that but instead you're met by the sight of his soft eyes as you look back at him and irritates you.

"Don't you want to follow your girlfriend, Eddie?"

Confusion is written all over his face as he shakes his head. His cheek is red from the harsh slap, eyes filled with concern and hurt.

"What was that?" he asks, not understanding why you would touch him and kiss him again after what you said to him last night. A foolish part of him hopes that things can go back to the way they were before yesterday but the coldness in your eyes shows him that things will never be the same again.

"That was me showing your girlfriend what a piece of shit you are, Eddie."

Saying these words hurt you just as much as they hurt him.

He says your name with a shaky voice, like he is on the verge of crying.

You can't do this.

Looking into his glassy eyes, hearing his shaky voice, seeing how hurt he looks, breaks your heart even more.

You thought you could make yourself believe that you would be fine, that you could pretend that it doesn't hurt but you would be lying to yourself.

You get up and storm out of the room without looking back.

"Y/n!"

He didn't follow her out but he follows you.

You walk through the lobby and back to the elevators, blinking your tears away.

"Wait!"

He grabs your upper arm and pulls you back, placing both of his hands on your arms, he cages you against the nearest wall so you don't escape him again.

"Let me go."

He shakes his head.

You can see the fear and the pain in his eyes, the sadness; as though he wasn't the one that got him into this situation in the first place. Your heart still hurts.

"Please," he whispers, "I know I fucked up, I know what I did was wrong, I should have told you, I should have left her before we-"

"Stop," you sigh, "I don't wanna hear it."

"I'm just, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did."

His eyes are filled with tears and yours are too.

"Last night you told me that you have feelings for me-"

"I do," he says, squeezing your arms.

"How long have you known then?"

"For some time now, before we left California."

You nod, sniffling, you look down and close your eyes.

"See, I don't believe a word you're saying, Eddie. If you did have feelings for me, you would have left her- I'm not saying that you should have done that, I don't want to be a fucking home wrecker but a good person would have been honest about their feelings and leave their partner before becoming a fucking cheater," you pause as you take a deep breath and look back into his sad eyes, "you didn't tell her anything, you didn't tell me anything. You don't have feelings for me, you needed me to keep yourself satisfied and now that I know the truth, you do everything to make me believe you because you're scared."

You push him away from you, "you're scared that I'll leave the band because you know, you'd be nothing without me."

"No, please, y/n," he sighs in defeat, "that's not true, I don't even care about that, I care about you, about us."

"There is no us, there never was and there never will be," you say, staring at him through your blurry vision, "I'll stay for the rest of the tour but the moment it's over, the moment we're back in LA, I'm out and I never want to see you again after this, Eddie."

He starts crying and so do you.

"No," he whispers.

The look in his eyes and pain in his voice destroys you, it leaves a hole in your heart.

Your eyes are filled with betrayal and heartbreak.

His eyes are filled with pain, fear and heartbreak too.

Now you are nothing but two broken people.

And this is only the beginning of all the pain that is about to follow.

Taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @cry-for-u @mysticmunson @eddielives1986 @1paire2vans @poisonedluv @sherrylyn628 @aysheashea @kaitebugg03 @lma1986 @aftermidnightwriting @miarosso @novelnovella @magenta-moon @strawberries-n-lavender @bibieddiesgf @michaelfuckinglangdon @tlclick73 @hazydespair @veravee-blog @lfaewrites @saayanaaa @madaboutjoe @papichulo120627 @emma77645 @joantje @eddiiiieeee @harringtonfan4 @kukisthings @unfocused81 @pwinglez1 @a-dreamy-sagittarius @riddlesinthenight @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things angst

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hana-no-seiiki · 1 year

Text

RECREATIONAL

THIRD PART TO FEROZEVE SERIES : [PREVIOUS] [MASTERLIST] [NEXT?]

YANDERE POP IDOL! OC x MANAGER! READER x YANDERE ROCKSTAR SMUT

tw/cw: reader uses gn pronouns but has a dicc, unprotected seggs, unrealistic seggs, anal seggs. switch! reader, switch! eve, gong! feroze. dub/non con.

status: unedited.

thank you hubby @moyazaika for letting me use your son again, and for the voters that picked this fic (🤰🏻) in the emoji poll.

By pressing the Keep Reading button you are confirming that you’re 18 and above + consent to seeing dark / sexual content.

“Mx. Ma-na-ger~ !” Eve drawled as he glomped you from behind. Despite not hearing what he had to say or do aside from assaulting you with hugs, you were already dreading the next moments of your life.

“Eve, no.” You tried slipping away but are unfortunately unable to defeat hours of dance routines and gyms sessions Eve had to go through as a part of his training and work.

“But Mx. Ma ↗ na ↘ ger ↗ ! ! ! ” His pitch fluctuated as you had resorted to shaking him off instead.

“Eve, I already told you that I’m busy.”

And then he pouted.

You see, when an idol like the Jisoo Han pouts it is almost as if the entire universe has ended. It’s like the feeling you’d get when every puppy or god forbid every kitten dies. The feeling of utter sadness so insurmountable you almost crumble to your knees.

Eve had the power to create smiles and laughter across the globe, but he also had the power to completely destroy any semblance of happiness from a person. You knew that power very well.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, desperately attempting not to cringe or cry from his actions.“Fine. I’ll be free next evening. Don’t. Bother. Rosy.”

You thought he’d be satisfied with your answer but he only pouts even harder.

You sighed. This absolute man-child. “. . . Soo.”

He immediately flicks back to his cheery self. A boyish grin on his face as he separated himself from you and skipped away. “Okay~! I’ll see ya soon.”

That was way too easy. Oh god. What could that demon be thinking of?

As soon as he left, another one of your man-children came into your office. Groaning, he plopped himself atop one of your bean bag chairs.

Feroze doesn’t utter a word, and you could tell that his hangover had been a pain to deal with. Usually he’d already be all over you. It sort of reminded you of how he was during your early days with him. Still, he made the effort to show up despite the massive migraine he should be feeling right now.

“I—“ You started, but you are unable to finish your words as he’d already beat you to the chase.

“I love you, really love you, but if your next words are I told you so. Just don’t.”

Darn, he knew you too well. Time to take a different approach to asserting your correctness.

“Well you know what they say—“

“I’m going out to eat.” He seemingly teleported in front of you, flicking your forehead. And then, he was out. Just poof. Disappeared.

You stared at the hangover medicine you prepared for him located in the drawer of your desk, and humphed, “. . .He didn’t even let me finish.”

There are many stages of love in Urdu and Arab world. Attraction, love and even death, but infatuation; عشق (ishq) was what Feroze identified with. Literally speaking it just meant love. Symbolically however, it meant so, so much more.

It was both all of love in itself and a stage of it. It was above the notion of logic or sense. Just as how he felt with you.

❝

Ishq Nazuk-Mizaj Hai Behad (Love has a delicate disposition)

Aql Ka Bojh Utha Nahin Sakta (It cannot bear burden of logic)

❞

As an Urdu poet Akbar Allahabadi would say.

Feroze’s entire existence revolved around yours. He breathed for you, he’d die for you. The biggest regret in his life was how he didn’t meet you sooner, didn’t treat you the way you were supposed to sooner.

Feroze wasn’t actually mad or even annoyed by your words earlier. He could never, ever have such feelings towards you. He just needed an excuse to follow Eve. As to why he didn’t just do that? Well he had to see your face that morning to cleanse himself, of course. One look at you per day and all the negative energy in his life seemed to just fade away.

“Mr. Khan! How’s the hangover?” Speaking of negative energy.

Eve and him had been bonding quite well over the past few weeks. It was a miracle in itself. Despite the former’s overt interest in Feroze’s manager, he found the boy too cute to be murdered in his sleep. He had this ‘baby-ghorl’ aura about him that Feroze couldn’t help but be amused with. The rockstar could see why this idol had so many fans.

Eve approached him, his usually sparkly grin covered by the dark mask his disguise included. Promotional material for their collab had already been released to the public and has thus put them in the spotlight once more. Trying to go to that bar last night was already hell in the first place, meeting in a cafe where anyone could see them? That was just a wish for death.

Eve slid a small glass bottle that looked a lot like those syrups they marketed for younger kids. Or poison, one or the other.

Without a word, Feroze downed the liquid. And then immediately regretted his decision, hacking at the taste of it all, “What did you just give to me?”

“A hangover cure. Those usually don’t taste good no matter what country I go to. I knew you were a lightweight but I barely got to drink before you —“ Eve halted his bullying as soon as he saw the deathly glare Feroze threw at him.“Fine~ Fine! I’m sure Mx. Manager already made fun of your situation.”

Feroze turned his hazel eyes to the bottle.

“You spiked my drink, didn’t you?”

Eve doesn’t freeze up, he doesn’t even flinch, not a sign of guilt could be found on him. Feroze wouldn’t be surprised if the ravenette actually didn’t feel a hint of remorse for what he did. He acknowledges the boy’s fearless attitude. “I’m sorry?”

“I said, you spiked my drink didn’t you? Last night. I saw you put it in, but decided you could have a little fun with your ex-manager.” He emphasized your current status, that being out of Eve’s employment and in his. “So, did you?”

Eve twirled a lock of his bangs, avoiding eye contact. His ears had turned completely red. The usual glow about him somewhat dissipated. “Not enough.”

Feroze who was much less careful about his reputation and actions took Eve’s hand in his and held it, tightly. His callused fingers contrasted greatly to Eve’s soft, moisturized hands. “Well, we can’t have our Soo here feeling unsatisfied do we?” He massaged each finger vigorously while simultaneously keeping it as still as possible.

“What’s the catch? You wouldn’t just give away the love of your life away. Would you?”

“No. You’re right. I would never. But the benefits outweigh the negatives. I believe this collaboration of ours will help everyone in the long run.”

“Deal.”

You loved schedules and planning. It was everything to you. It’s why you worked as a manager for all these years. The intricacies of time management gave you a rush you could not explain. Perhaps this emotion was akin to what Feroze confessed to feeling about you. Though you heavily doubted it was that close.

You weren’t the type to beat up people if they didn’t follow you or your beloved schedule.

Were you?

In any case, as appointed, you arrived at Eve’s and Feroze’s shared studio. Perfectly on time.

“So, what did you want me for?”

“Well, I was recording this track. I already have Mr. Khan’s vocals and mine I just need . . .”

You had the knack to read Eve’s mind before he even spoke. It was why he adored you so much. Studying him was just a part of the job in your case. Despite his almost angelic demeanor, he felt more like the child you had to babysit rather than a proper partner.

“No way. I can’t sing.” You waved your hands in protest. You can barely hold a regular note for too long, how were you able to keep up with those trained singers the company usually hired for these things? You were meant to be in the backstage, not the center or anywhere near there.

Eve easily shoved you in the recording booth, “That’s why I’m here silly. To help you, now get in the booth.”

“Eve—“ You mouthed, trying your best to get out. But the exit had already been locked. Damn, how was he so fast?

And it’s official. The idol had you trapped. So easily as well. He should have done this ages ago. “Soo.” Your voice barely came out, anxiety hindering its proper passage. This wasn’t going to actually be a recording session was it?

His right hand then grabbed your outer thigh. You flinched, you thrash around, but he doesn’t stop.“Soo, I can’t do this with you — gah —“

“But why not~? Aren’t you a good little manager? You’ll do this for me won’t you?” He unbuttoned your pants, slowly pulling them down. Savoring the reveal of your precious [s/c] skin. While his scarlet eyes were firmly glued to your face, his left hand wandered to your clothed cock. Three fingers pressed against it, moving up and down gently.

“Mmf — For your information, I’m only obliged to follow Feroze’s —“ He stopped.

His appendages leave your side in a second. You were utterly disappointed in yourself as you realized you already missed his skin making contact with your body.

“Soo?”

He stood still for seconds until his fingers twitched.

After which, he laughed.

“HAHAHAHAHA! You think you were ever someone else’s? You’re mine, [Y/N]. Mine.”

It unnerved you. Not how maniacal his words or his guffawing, no, it was how genuine it felt in comparison to his usual one. In fact you were so caught up with his breakdown that you couldn’t even protest as he carried you in his arms, shoving lube up your little asshole and making you face the wall.

You hadn’t even realized his own penis was not covered anymore.

Everything just hits you when he thrusted in. Filling you with one slide.“Now make music for me, hm?”

Despite the microphone being a little too far from you, you were positive it could pick up the moan you just made.

It was like you felt everything, pain and pleasure mixed inside you and you couldn’t tell if you were enjoying this sick act or completely hated it. But one thing was for sure, you do nothing to stop him. Completely consumed by the feeling of his dick rearranging your organs.

“Louder, baby.” He picked up the pace, before shortly cumming inside you without warning. A reminder of his status as a virgin despite his personality. It doesn’t take long for him to get going again. “I wanted to be inside you for so long. I want to stay inside you forever.”

As Eve started speeding up, a mop of red hair entered your vision, “Rosy—“

You expected anger, you expected a murder you’d have to somehow cover up. But all your current client does was grab Eve by the shoulders.

“Ease up there, Soo.”

Eve’s horrifically ‘calm’ expression switches back into his playful once he faced Khan. You didn’t even know how much fear was pumping within your veins until he calmed down (at least outwardly) “C’mon. I know even you wouldn’t be able to resist this little hole.”

Were they . . . in this together? No they couldn’t be. They were just so different.

If only you knew how alike they were.

The limited space in the booth didn’t really feel good to the three of you upon Feroze’s words “Scooch over.” Eve had to back up while he was still inside you, allowing the other man to squeeze in.

Feroze grabbed your chin with one hand making you look to his face. “Look at me, meri jaan. My ishq.” and your cock with the other, tenderly stroking your member. “I love you alright? More than anything else in this world.”

“Then —“

“Let you go? Not a chance in hell.” He chuckled, increasing the pace of his handjob.

If you thought that Eve using you was too much, it was nigh impossible to imagine the stimulation you were currently receiving. “Sh- sto . . hah — p. Please.”

“Don’t break them yet, I haven’t even came.” You could however imagine the pout on Eve’s face. His thrusts stuttering from its once regular rhythm.

“Ssh. We’re doing this to record their pretty voice aren’t we?”

“Stop! Wh - hah - what about Soo’s reputation?”

Eve would use those words to blame you for his future breakdowns later on, your show of concern making his dick even harder than it already. But for now he could only express this feeling of gratitude by pushing it in deeper. “I’m a solo act now baby. It’s fine~”

“F-Fuhuck, I’m — “ He came inside you the second time, making your slick hole even wetter and causing you to cum all over Feroze’s hands.

“My turn.” The older man yanked you away. Eve’s semen dripped down to your thighs and legs as he’d separated from you.

“Hey!” He protested. But if there was one person who was more swole than Eve it was Feroze. The man putting him in a slightly bended position; looking away, and you in between the two singers.

“Hold on to his waist, meri jaan.”

You do as your told, feeling Feroze align your dick to Eve’s hole. Wait- he was completely dry how would he-

The answer was that Eve would take you no matter what. It did not feel great to either one of you, the only lubrication that existed was your previous ejaculation, and part of you knew that Feroze intended that. “Mmf—!” Mostly because he doesn’t take any time to warn you before he also inserts himself but in you. “I haven’t done something like this in ages . . . but nothing could compare to this”

Feroze helps you into a rhythm that ensured that you were either completely inside Eve or him inside you at every moment. Overstimulating you once more. When it came for his turn to thrust however, he put so much power that often times it would move you forwards and go a bit to deep.

“Shit! You’re doing that on purpose!”

“Not my fault you’re too excited to put a lil lube in!”

“I- I - think I’m — ! “ You closed your eyes, feeling your second release. A high you’ve never once reached before. A kind of high that ruins others as you’d find yourself chasing it.

But you knew, you knew it’d be impossible without these two men aiding you in that climb.

Feroze was right behind you as you reached the top. Thick, hot ropes of cum spill all over inside of you.

The three of you took deep breaths, but it was only a short respite for what would be a long, long, night. “We’re not done yet. I only came once.”

“The hell—“

Feroze turned you to face him, positioning you atop Eve’s back. His handsome face looked stunning even underneath the dim lighting.

You did not know if his following question was directed towards you or ravenette, “You won’t mind this, won’t you?” Just that his cock had already been enveloped by Eve’s canal.

“Mr. Khannnn, you could have let me lube up.” The idol complained between moans.

“You took them no problem but not me?”

“You’re different! And bigger! Ah, fuck!”

“You deserve a little punishment for spiking my drink. Besides their cum should be more than enough.”

“He did what?!”

“Ack—!”

“Take it, کنجر (kanjr)”

Feroze cackled at your worried face and Eve’s pain, pounding into him without a care in the world. His sadism really knew no bounds.

You three ended up staying the studio all night. Your hole and cock being used up for all its worth.

The album ended up being a massive hit. The title track, the one with your ‘vocals’ ended up breaking records and staying at the top of charts for months.

Comments on the song largely talking about how realistic the sensual sounds of sex in the background was. Completely unaware that it was the two famous singers making love to you.

©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023

fun fact: i was rocking out to mlp music while writing this lol (that and my cousin watching van helsing in the background, very very loudly)

#hns.eve #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagine #yandere oc #yandere fic #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc x you #yandere x you #yandere idol #yandere rockstar #feroze #yandere ocs x reader #yandere story #yandere core #yan core #oc x reader

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 4 months

Text

The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 3k

Trigger warning- aftermath of drug overdose, rehab (not in detail) I have also added another diary entry from Nikki Sixx's The Heroin Diaries. So, if you don't want to read it, just skip the part in italics that starts with '25th December 1987'

Previous Chapter

Chapter 15- S.O.S.

Nikki was still asleep by the time you composed yourself and returned to his bedroom. He hadn't moved an inch and if it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of his chest, you would have thought he was dead.

You took a seat on the chair across the room after grabbing an acoustic guitar from the wall and began to strum away at the cords quietly trying to distract yourself.

Somewhere, far away, the phone rang but you didn't answer it.

"Hey, it's Nikki. I'm not home because I'm dead."

Tears blurred your vision all over again after hearing that while you continued to play the guitar. A few stray tears trickled down your face and fell onto the wooden instrument, but you ignored them and kept playing.

Nikki didn't wake up until late that night. You hadn't slept, too scared that if you closed your eyes then Nikki would be gone by the time you opened them again.

So, you kept yourself busy with the guitar trying to remember all the chords and passed time by teaching yourself how to play different Mötley songs with it.

"Merry Christmas Eve." Nikki's voice murmured weakly.

Your fingers froze against the strings as you looked up to find him watching you from the bed with a small smile spreading across his face.

"That's all you have to say to me?" You asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

The smile vanished from his face as quickly as it had appeared. Maybe that was a little harsh, but you had spent hours sitting here alone with your thoughts and wanted to kill him for what he did to himself.

"You told me that you had this under control." You began to say, leaning the guitar against the side of the chair before getting up and pacing the bedroom.

Nikki tracked your movements with his eyes but remained silent while you paced trying to calm your anger and emotion knowing it wasn't going to do anybody any good if you lost it.

"The whole fucking world thought you were dead. I thought you were dead!" Your voice cracked and caught in your throat, tears threatening to spill from your eyes once again. "Is that all you have to say to me?"

You turned to look at the bassist to find his own eyes now swimming with unshed tears.

"I... I need help."

Those three words were all you needed to hear.

Nikki broke down and admitted for the first time in his entire life that he couldn't control his addiction. He needed help, and he couldn't do it alone.

You called the rest of the band and organised for them to come to Nikki's house the day after Christmas for a meeting. None of them asked any specific questions but knew it had to do with the overdose.

You spent Christmas Eve in Nikki's spare bedroom too afraid to go back home and leave the bassist alone in his house in fear of him shooting up again. Just because you confiscated all his drugs didn't mean the rockstar couldn't easily call his dealer and organise for more to be delivered.

So, you spent the night at Nikki's after calling Vince and explaining the situation. You felt bad for not being there Christmas morning to see Skylar open her presents but promised to make it up to her later.

You woke up to Nikki knocking on your bedroom door Christmas morning. He looked a thousand times better as he leant against the doorframe with a small smile on his face. He had light back in his eyes and a hop in his step like he used to. You weren't sure what had happened overnight, but he seemed like an entirely different person and full of life today.

Sure, he was still skinny and pale, but seemed ready to get his life back on track.

You showered in his ensuite because the bathroom downstairs was under renovations. Nikki had given you a clean shirt of his to change into. It was a red oversized t-shirt that said 'GOD SMOKES CRACK' in white bald letters. He had dozens of plain black shirts but of course he gave you this one.

Adjusting the shirt around your body, you walked out the ensuite to find his bedroom empty but could smell coffee coming from downstairs.

His leather-bound notebook, however, was now sitting on his nightstand and it was opened with a new page on full display.

You hesitated in the doorway of his ensuite as you glanced at the half open bedroom door before looking back at the diary. Did he leave it open on purpose? Were you meant to see it?

Well, you've already read the worst of it. One more page couldn't hurt, right?

'December 25th 1987 Christmas morning, Van Nuys, 9:30am

Good morning and Merry Christmas. I've decided to put this diary away and start a new one... with a new day upon us I feel hopeful. Life, I think, has somehow taken a turn for the better.

I don't know how I survived the last year but I know there has to be a reason. Today for the first time ever I don't care about the outcome or the whys and when's. I just wanna live. I woke up happy. I can't believe it. I didn't wake up with my head screaming and my instincts telling me to run and hide inside a needle or inside a coffin, whichever came first... as long as I became numb or better yet dead... I want to live and I don't know why.

Hey... why ask why... I'm going to go wake Y/N up and tell her 'Merry Christmas.' She stayed the night and has helped me more than I can ever thank her for. Princess, if you're reading this... (I know you read the last page because that water droplet wasn't there last I recall, although I was high as fuck, so hey, maybe it was). But on the off chance that you're reading this, thank you. I don't deserve you, but I'm forever grateful for your help because without you... I probably wouldn't be here.

Merry Christmas.'

Tears of relief flooded your eyes and you let out a small shaky exhale that you hadn't realised you were holding in. From this new diary entry compared to his previous one, Nikki had turned a new leaf and was ready to get help. That was the best Christmas present you could have asked for.

You went downstairs and found the bassist standing in the kitchen making two cups of coffee. He tilted his head up hearing your footsteps and smiled softly seeing you wearing his shirt as a dress. His smile faded a little when he noticed the tears in your eyes but before he could say anything, you walked straight over and wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug.

"Whoa, what... oh." Nikki gasped looking down at you quickly realising that you had read the diary entry.

He slowly snaked his arms around your back and held you against his chest tightly. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Silent tears trickled down your face and you closed your eyes utterly relieved that Nikki was still alive.

The following day you held a meeting in Nikki's living room with the band. They looked pathetic sitting together hungover on the couch after Christmas. There was Nikki, who had died. Tommy who was apparently getting loaded and fighting with his wife. Vince, who was completely out of control with drugs and alcohol. And Mick, who basically woke up every morning and drank until he passed out.

You straight out told them that they needed to go to rehab, yourself included because although you didn't drink like they did, you still drunk more than you should and knew you needed to stop.

Nikki to your surprise admitted aloud to the guys that he needed the help. Tommy who did anything Nikki did, said he was in, of course. Vince, your stupid stubborn and in denial brother, reluctantly agreed and Mick just gave you a funny look but didn't try and argue.

So, that was it.

Mötley Crüe were going to rehab.

Rehab was hard. There was no sugarcoating that. It had its ups and downs but after a year of brutal recovery, Mötley Crüe were back. And they were clean.

Nikki didn't have anyone when he came out of the rehab centre, so he spent more and more time at your cottage by the sea. He was lonely. His old friends didn't want to know him now that he was sober, so he came to you.

Nikki was able to survive the addiction. He was able to come out the other side and you were there for him every step of the way.

Tommy was having problems with his marriage. Heather was always away for her career and when she was home, they would be constantly arguing. So, the drummer spent a lot of time at your house as well to get away from that.

The three of you never dared to cross the line of being more than just friends again despite all the time the Terror Twins spent at your house. You guys had done that before and it ended horribly.

Nikki would sit out on the porch swing overlooking the ocean and write songs for the new album the band was working on. You and Tommy would help where you could, but really, Nikki was the brains behind everything.

The experiences of the last year had given him more than enough material, with his near-death overdose inspiring the song, Kickstart My Heart.

The band all helped with the album, discussing and changing things until everyone was happy. Together you wrote what you thought could be the best album yet.

"So rad, dude. So fucking rad!" Tommy exclaimed banging his head along to Vince singing in the recording studio.

You smiled, kicking your boots up on the control panel being mindful not to press any buttons while you watched your brother through the glass as he sang into the microphone.

"It's like we never recorded before." Tommy continued to say.

You reached over and grabbed your glass of juice sipping it through the straw while humming to your brothers tune.

"I mean, I've been on something every day since I was, like, 11 years old. I didn't used to be able to feel anything, but now I can feel everything. Like that is just painful." Nikki winced at your brothers tune before reaching over and pressing the intercom button. "Hey, Vinnie. Let's go again, buddy. Just wasn't your best, okay?"

Your brother turned to glare at the bassist through the glass.

"I'm just tired of singing the same thing ten times in a row when it was fucking fine the first time."

"Vince, this album is gonna be great, so let's just hang in there, buddy."

Your brother rolled his eyes, "now you're sober, you're a perfectionist too. Is that it?"

Nikki released the intercom button so Vince couldn't hear him say, "yep."

You smirked and Vince looked over at you, but you just gave your brother a reassuring thumbs up and he sighed.

"Roll the goddamn tape." He ordered.

You leant forward and started the tape from the start, the music to Same Ol' Situation replaying for what felt like the millionth time.

"He'll get it, boys. He'll get it." You insisted, glancing over at Mick, Tommy and Nikki who all nodded as Vince began singing.

"She's got an alligator bag Top hat to match Dressed in black on black."

"Better." Nikki observed.

"She's got a Filipino girlie she claims is a friend I tell you boys, you just gotta laugh."

"Go, Vinnie!" Tommy cheered, him and Nikki throwing their hands in the air forming devil horns.

Vince grinned flipping them both off through the glass while he continued to sing into the microphone perfectly.

Mötley Crüe had to learn how to record music sober without any drugs or alcohol. And they did it. They fucking nailed it.

With Dr. Feelgood, Mötley Crüe got their first number one album.

"It's the same ol', same ol' situation." You sang at a stadium in Sydney, Australia.

Unhooking the microphone from the pole, you jogged around to the back of Tommys drum set taking the stairs two at a time until you leant over behind him with the microphone in your hand.

Tommy grinned, leaning his shirtless, sweaty and now tattooed bare back against you while keeping up the perfect rhythm on the drums before you sung your lines together through the microphone.

The crowd always went nuts whenever you interacted with the guys during shows, so you took it in your stride and danced around the stage, moving over to Mick and letting him use your microphone instead of his own for the next part.

The older man smiled ever so slightly as you banged your head to the beat while singing together before you jogged back across the stage and jumped onto the speaker box beside Nikki.

The bassist looked over at you, his smoky eyes alight with joy and adrenaline before you slowly danced lower and lower until you were practically kneeling on top of the large speaker. Nikki shifted closer to you strumming away at his bass before bending his leg and putting his boot up on the speaker next to your body.

You never rehearsed what you were going to do on stage with the guys. They were all happy to just wing it and let you do whatever you wanted. As long as you sung at the right times, they didn't mind and would go along with anything.

Elektra had suggested for Mötley to get more female backup singers for the Dr. Feelgood tour. They said something about needing more beautiful women on stage to entice the crowd. They forced the band to sit through auditions with dozens of young women listening to them sing and dance while wearing tight, revealing clothing.

Sure, some of the women had skill. And yeah, maybe it would be good to have more backup singers, but to your surprise, all the guys flat out refused and said no to every single woman who auditioned.

Vince, Nikki, Tommy and Mick joined forces as a united front and confronted Elektra together. They straight up told them that you were the only backup singer Mötley Crüe ever needed.

You were their Mötley Crüe girl. You were the only Motley Girl.

Nikki stuck his tongue out at the crowd, playing a rather fast tune on the bass while you leant against his knee and sung your lines through the microphone in front of the Australian fans.

Once Nikki had a short break between chords, he held his hand out which you gratefully took, and he helped you jump down from the speaker box safely back onto the stage.

You jogged over to your microphone pole and secured the microphone back into it and planned to sing the next part by your designated spot but then Vince was waving you over to the very front of the stage.

Your brother was grinning like the devil, and you grinned right back and jogged over to him. Then, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder ready to share the microphone and you faced the audience and-

There was this thing that happened sometimes when Mötley Crüe played. If they were locked in, if they were in the pocket, then it was like they were summoning a gale-force wind or a tornado or a fucking hurricane. Something massive and primal, a force of nature. But that terrifying power never overwhelmed Mötley Crüe. It picked them up, carried them and the band rode that power until the final note died into silence.

And tonight- tonight was a hurricane night. You could sense it from the first crash of Tommy’s drums, marching Mötley Crüe into the jaws of ‘Same Ol’ Situation’, and when the guitar and bass came in, you lost yourself in the music.

Vince began to clap his hands above his head to the beat of Tommy’s drums and you did the same enthusiastically before the entire crowd mimicked within seconds.

"Alright, me, the boys and my sister are gonna do some rock-n-roll. C'mon now!" Vince shouted into the microphone before stepping back and grabbing the guitar that was slung over his shoulder.

You smirked at the change up to the lyrics just as Nikki and Mick both came to the front of stage and the three of them began to play their strings in tune with one another. Tommy was at your back, beating out a rhythm that drove you all forward and you grabbed the microphone pole doing Vince’s signature move holding it like a guitar while copying the guys as the crowd cheered.

Once Vince’s part was done on the guitar, he let it hang from the strap before reaching for the microphone pole you were still holding. He slipped the microphone free and held it up for you both to use as you sang together.

"It's the same ol', same ol' situation It's the same ol', same ol' ball and chain Girl, it's the same ol', same ol' situation."

Vince was a showman. He loved performing and putting on a show for everyone. This is what your brother was born to do, and you were so happy to be able to do it with him.

By the end of the last song, Tommy jumped down from his drum set and wrapped his arm around your shoulder like Vince was, Nikki threw his arm over Tommy's and pulled Mick into his side. The five of you bowed together in sync for the crowd as the lights behind you erupted and the Aussie fans cheered so loudly it made your ears ring.

Mötley Crüe had made it to the fucking top.

But the only direction to go now was down.

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST pinned to profile

A/N: Happy late birthday to Vince Neil!!!

To those still reading, I hope you are enjoying this story and I promise the next chapter will be up in a couple days. Until then, stay safe and have a great day xx

#motley crue #nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx x you #tommy lee #tommy lee fanfic #tommy lee x reader #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue x reader #vince neil #mick mars #the dirt #pov #imagine #80s rock #glam rock #glam metal

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icallhimjoey · 1 year

Text

Over Now

♥ ♥ rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: In this sequel to "Only Now", you've moved away from Hawkins and it's something you should've done much sooner. It's the best choice you've made, it all works, until Eddie finds your address and stops by for a visit.

CW / disclaimer: 18+, language, fem!reader, smut, angst

Author’s note: a couple of you found my askbox and talked me into this after i answered an ask about Only Now, and with a little inspiration courtesy of @ghostinthebackofyourhead that kickstarted all of this, we find ourselves here. I hope you enjoy!

Wordcount: 9.6K

(find all four parts of this story here)

You wanted days to speed up. Have the sun travel across the width of the sky faster. Blink your eyes a few times and accidentally have a few hours pass you by entirely without you having noticed. If you could, you’d skip a full year. You envisioned yourself a year from now, and she seemed strong. Twelve months would be plenty of time for her to have gathered up enough strength to arm herself properly. She probably didn’t think about it every day. About him every day. She was probably happy. Strong, and successful and happy. You wished every day for time fast forward, just so you’d get to meet her sooner.

"You should leave," you whispered into the dark, hearing the city wake up outside of your windows, the hustle and bustle slowly picking up.

"Not yet," Eddie stated it so matter of factly that you didn't even feel like you could fight it. If Eddie decided to stay, you both knew he was going to stay. Eddie knew it was what you wanted, and Eddie knew you wouldn't fight him on it. But you had to be strong. Find the strength somewhere. Somehow.

At New Year's Eve, a couple of weeks after Eddie had left you with a little note that read "Merry Christmas x", you were doing a round of sharing your resolutions for the next year. You had decided yours on the spot and had blurted it out without having given it much thought.

"I'm going to move out of Hawkins."

And everyone had looked at you like it was the wildest thing they'd ever heard, laughed at you as if you were joking, like they had done when Dustin said he was going to start going to the gym. Not Steve though. Steve had hooked an arm around your neck, pulled you in so he could speak directly into your ear and said, "Coolest resolution of the bunch."

What Steve hadn't anticipated is that a mere two, two and a half weeks later, he'd be stood outside of the apartment building you used to share, ready to say goodbye and wave you off. You'd packed up all your belongings into your shitty car and were ready to get out of Hawins. Just, leave. For ever? Never to return? You weren't sure. You'd see.

“I know you have to leave, but, if you really think about it, what’s another week?” Steve tried, leaning his elbows in your open car window. It was too cold for it to be rolled all the way down, mid-January the temperatures were freezing, but you had something to say to Steve still, and you wouldn’t leave before you’d said it. Could you have told him inside? Absolutely. But it would’ve postponed your plans, and you had procrastinated enough. Years, if you really thought about it. You should've gotten out when Nancy and Jonathan had done, but, you know, you clearly hadn't.

“Shut up,” you completely dismissed Steve’s attempt at another week with you in Hawkins and he let his head drop in defeat.

“I need to say things to you,” you said, and Steve was quick to whip his head back up. You kept your engine running but slumped your shoulders and let your hands fall into your lap as you gave him a little pout.

“No, don’t,” Steve warned you.

“I have to,” you took a deep breath, and before Steve could block his ears with his fingers, you got the words out fast. “I don’t deserve you, you are by far the best friend, too good for this world, I can’t believe I’m leaving you behind- I love you!” all your words blended and built up in volume until you were practically screaming. They weren’t the words Steve was expecting, so when he lowered his arms, you snuck them in real fast: “Please come with me!”

“No!” Steve was too late; the words found his ears without any obstruction, and he waved his arms in frustration as he turned away from your car.

Your play back and forth of you begging Steve to join you, and him very actively avoiding every single talk you tried to have with him about it, had been going since the start. Ever since you dropped the comment that you should probably just get out of Hawkins all together, you’d been saying you should both go. He had threatened you at the start, “Careful, or I’ll do it!”, thinking it would make you stop the bit, but knowing there was a slight chance he’d actually consider it only made you press it more.

Steve took a few steps, circled back to your car, and pretended he was about to take a dive across you, aiming for your passenger seat. Just for a second, you thought he was actually going to go for it, and it made you squeal in panic filled laughter. Instead, Steve just leant through your window, found your shoulders with both his hands, and pulled you in for the most awkward hug.

“I’ll come visit soon,”

“Promise?”

“Of course, idiot.” Steve’s grip tightened. “I promise.”

A fresh start. New beginnings. New surroundings. It was what your mother said you’d needed for years. It was what Steve was hellbent on you getting for years.

You’d done enough scooping of popcorn into buckets at the movie theater, only to sweep up half of it two hours later from under the seats – a dead end job, but easy money made. Enough to pay rent, have a little fun and even save up a little.

You’d saved up enough to get yourself through two months of rent in the city, no problem. The urge to immediately find work wasn’t there, but when you moved into your new, much smaller, apartment above a bar that had a sign in the window that read BAR STAFF WANTED you thought, "Perfect.".

It was late February when Steve got word that Eddie was coming back into town. That’s soon, Steve thought. Usually, Eddie would leave much longer periods in between visits. Maybe they were playing somewhere close, and Eddie would just pop down for the day, he thought, secretly pleased that you’d decided to move away when you did.

Eddie didn’t even seem fazed when he walked up to greet Steve. Didn’t look around. Didn’t do a double take. And then, didn’t even ask, but just smiled and hugged Steve, patted him on the back and followed him inside.

Small talk.

Steve was astounded by the surface level of small talk Eddie made. Has the weather been good? Munson, it’s February. Of course not. It’s been grey skies and wet cold. Has he also been sick? Wayne told him a bug had half of Hawkins knocked out a couple weeks ago. Steve had a cough for a few days but was fine otherwise. Got all his fingers still? Eddie knew Steve liked lighting fireworks with Dustin, Mike, the others, anyone who would still come back from college, from jobs, had time to visit family over New Year’s Eve. Steve showed him all ten.

Then Eddie started talking about tour. The band. The gigs. The crowds. Steve loved Eddie’s stories, could honestly listen to him for hours, but he couldn't give him his full attention. Steve was listening to Eddie through your ears. Watching him through your eyes. It was like everything had to pass through a filter of you before it reached Steve, and it slowly built annoyance.

The last time Steve and Eddie had spoken, just the two of them, had been on the ice. When Lover's Lake had frozen over, Robin had taken you on a slippery, scary ride as she had run off with you and he'd stopped Eddie to ask him, was he even really aware of it? Of what he was doing? Did he ever stop to think what his behavior meant for you? Eddie hadn't appreciated Steve placing full blame with him; what Eddie's behavior meant for you. Not, what you were doing to Eddie.

Steve had told him to at least be mindful. When Eddie had scoffed, had said that he was being mindful, Steve revealed how a couple of months ago he had sat outside of your locked bathroom for hours. Listened to you cry silently in between echoing spasmed breaths and sobs. "Don't put her through that again, man." Steve's eyes shone with sadness. It annoyed Eddie greatly as he watched you and Robin laughing together, holding hands as you carefully made your way back to them over the ice.

Eddie didn't think he was doing anything to you. He was just being nice, wasn't he? Would hold you while you slept. Said nice things into your hair. Held your hand on walks. Squeezed your thighs underneath tables. Kissed you on the couch. These were all nice things; things you wanted, things you didn't shy away from, things you happily accepted from him. This is how you were together. Frankly, how you'd always been together. How much worse would it be if he didn't do any of those things at all? If he grew distant all of the sudden? If he just... stopped?

"Be mindful, s'all." Steve said just before you slid back into earshot.

And Eddie had tried for like, an hour maybe. Steve was a good friend and had come to him with difficult things to say, so Eddie tried. Even if he didn't like it. Eddie tried. Kept a little more distance. Didn't sling an arm around you as you walked back to Robin's car together. Called shot gun so he didn't have to share the backseat with you. Didn't use pet names. Didn't look at you and smiled until his eyes crinkled. And then they'd all felt it. They had all seen your angry glances at Steve. Had felt the mood shift. Had felt the sudden tension in the air. Had felt your complete rejection of whatever it was that Steve wanted for you. He wasn't meant to interfere like that, you thought. So when you'd reached for Eddie's hand when you'd gotten out of the car, Eddie had looked at Steve. Told him, I'm not doing anything, with his eyes. It's her.

So Steve was glad you weren't there. But Steve was annoyed that Eddie didn't even acknowledge that.

"You staying over at Wayne's?" Steve asked once Eddie let a silence fall. Eddie never stayed at Wayne's on his visits, but without prospect of staying over at your place, Steve thought he kind of had to.

"I guess," Eddie shrugged.

Steve waited. Still nothing.

"Speaking of, I should probably head over and go see my old man." Eddie spoke through a stretch, arms all up in the air, fingers interlocked, palms out. Then he sighed deeply and got up, went to get his coat from the hallway as Steve moved their used glasses to the kitchen. "Promised he'd make me more meatloaf since I didn't get to take any with me last time," Eddie joked halfheartedly and smiled at Steve when Steve met him in the hallway. Perfect moment to mention you, Steve thought. Yet still, nothing.

Steve followed Eddie on his way out, then decided he couldn't let Eddie just leave like that. Couldn't let him walk out after pretending you weren’t one third of their- your whole. Steve and Eddie had never been just two. Ever since they'd gotten closer as friends, you'd gotten closer in friends together. The three of you. Joined at the hip. Morning, noon and evening. Sun, wind and rain. Birth, life and death. Past, present and future.

"No? Nothing?"

"Huh?"

"You're not going to ask why she's not here? Come on, man…" Steve said, hoping Eddie would let his guard down, not pull it up more.

Eddie turned his head away, looking down the long corridor of apartment doors, hands in the pockets of his leather coat. Then he clicked his tongue and looked back at his friend in the door opening. "What's there to ask?" Eddie asked disdainfully, flicking his eyes down to Steve’s shoes and back up real quick.

Steve loved Eddie, really missed his friend all the time, and maybe even more so now you had moved away too, but this wasn't cool. Eddie didn't need to be so arrogant, act all haughty around him. They were friends. Two legs of this tripod they formed with you. Acting like you weren’t in the slightest bit important, weren’t an inherent part of them, vested in everything they were and weren’t together wasn’t okay.

Steve pushed his chin up, made his lips disappear and gave a small nod. "Say hi to Wayne for me." and closed the door on him. Eddie could go fuck himself.

When Eddie stepped into the trailer without knocking, Wayne took one look at him and told Eddie to walk back out. Eddie sighed loudly. Wayne used to do this all the time if Eddie came walking in like he owned the place. It would often happen when Wayne had worked double shifts and had left Eddie alone for too long. Wayne would make Eddie walk out and come back in, almost as if he was a polite guest, visiting his uncle for a special occasion. Put him in his place a little. Feel that, even if he was the one with his own bedroom between the two, the trailer was still Wayne's home first.

Eddie knew better than to not do as he was told by Wayne, famous rockstar or not, and stepped back out. He took a second, hand on the door handle still, and then he knocked and waited for Wayne to answer.

"Jus' a second," Wayne's low voice gruntled from behind the door, and Eddie huffed a laugh through his nostrils. Fucker was going to make him wait out in the cold, too.

When Wayne opened the door for Eddie, they grinned at each other and hugged.

"Come on, boy. Eat."

Eddie had been pushing the same bite of meatloaf around his plate for ten minutes, then sighed deeply and explained why he was going to have to stay over on the couch in the trailer that night.

"That why you ain't eatin'?"

Eddie shrugged, mentioned how Steve seemed upset with him about something too, not elaborating on why exactly that was. Wayne didn't push it, and instead focussed on the note Eddie showed him.

"And now she lives in the big city, huh?" Wayne said, reading the address.

"Seems like it," Eddie held the note in between his fingers, like he would hold a cigarette and stared at Steve's handwriting.

"Didn't tell you?" Wayne shoved his empty plate towards Eddie a little, signaling it was Eddie who was going to be doing the washing up. Eddie didn't fight him on it; Wayne cooked, so it was only fair Eddie did the dishes. Picking up the plates, his own barely touched, Eddie shook his head a little at Wayne's question.

"Didn't need to, it's her own life, isn't it? Makes her own choices," Eddie reasoned for himself. He hadn't told you about all the places he'd stayed at to write, to record, to rehearse and to play. Why should you have to?

It would have been nice for Eddie to have known, don't get him wrong. He probably wouldn't have come back to Hawkins so soon had he known you weren't there anymore.

"I never understood it," Wayne sighed, sitting back in his seat as he placed his hands behind his head, elbows sticking out wide. "You kids, not goin' together but holdin' hands all the time anyway," Wayne frowned and shook his head a little.

Wayne knew you and Eddie far surpassed innocent hand holding - walls were thin in his trailer - but hand holding was all the two of you had done openly in front of him. Everything else Wayne had caught, he'd pretended not to have seen or to have heard.

"Nothing to understand," Eddie shrugged.

"And she's not goin' with Steve either?"

"No," Eddie snorted, absolutely unable to even think of you and Steve as a couple.

"Hand me that towel," Wayne joined Eddie in the kitchen.

This was nice, Eddie thought. Just chatting with Wayne, in the trailer, hands busy with an easy task. Just the two of them, like old times. It didn't have the same effect as hanging out with you and Steve had on him, though. But it was nice anyway.

"Wouldn't have time for it anyway, would you?" Wayne said. "Not with all them girls waitin' outside after your concerts," There was a moment of eye contact where Eddie had expected a sly smile from Wayne, something a little playful, but was met with a set of stern eyes instead.

"I better not be hearin' bad things, Eddie," Wayne warned, and Eddie immediately took it to mean something malicious. Like Eddie was taking advantage of every single person that showed him any form of interest. Like it was Eddie’s fault that the band had groupies.

"What do you take me for?" Eddie mentally placed his foot against the gas pedal, ready to absolutely floor it if Wayne was going to say something else he didn't like.

"Don't forget who raised you, now," Wayne stayed calm, his voice not changing tone.

"Are you accusing me of something?" Eddie accelerated.

"Just makin' sure no one has reason to,"

Eddie just looked at Wayne a second before he contorted his face and threw the sponge he'd been scrubbing pots with loudly against the tiles behind the sink. The wet slap was loud and splashed dish soap suds onto dishes Wayne had already dried but had yet to put away. He silently watched his nephew grab his coat, feel around pockets for a packet of cigarettes and step out.

Had Eddie been 16 still, he'd have slammed the door.

Wayne wasn't stupid. He'd seen things on MTV, saw pictures in the magazines and, sometimes, if they were particularly bad, the newspapers. He'd even seen some girls with his own eyes when he'd been to see Eddie 'n the boys play when they'd been close enough for Eddie to put Wayne up on the guest list. He had never seen Eddie give them any real attention, but Wayne knew his nephew.

Eddie just needed to be mindful. Tha's all.

That night, Eddie and Wayne had gone to bed in silence. Eddie had refused to say another word, even when Wayne had sat down in his armchair and had put the TV on. Eddie was all passive aggression, rumbling stomach only adding fuel, and Wayne knew to keep quiet until Eddie would break, say something stupid, something that crossed a line, immediately apologise and then they'd be able to talk everything through. Old routines died hard. That, or Eddie would crack because he had to have been hungry, still.

Before bed, Wayne had placed bedding and one of the better pillows onto the couch next to Eddie before retreating to his own bedroom. Eddie's old bedroom. When Wayne had closed the door behind him, Eddie had looked at it and wished it was his bedroom still. With the same old posters still up, his favourite guitar on the wall and all his other stupid shit strewn around, messing the place up. Making it all his. His own little safe space where everything was so very his. Eddie almost resented his uncle for not leaving it the way it was back then, but knew that would've made no sense.

Eddie found himself on the couch, hours later, middle of the night, not being able to sleep at all. The blinking streetlight from out front illuminated the note Eddie held in his hand in flashes.

Should he just... call?

Could he? He couldn't remember the last time he talked to you over the phone. You never called each other. Not that you'd be able to reach Eddie anywhere - he was always on the move.

You hadn't mentioned moving out of Hawkins the last time you'd seen each other. Maybe he wasn't meant to know. Or maybe, you'd tell him later. Once you'd settled. You couldn't have been gone that long, could you?

Eddie didn't manage to stay until the morning. When Wayne woke up and went to find his nephew to talk things through over breakfast, he was met with an empty trailer. Eddie had left the sheets folded nicely up on the couch, and had left his uncle a little note on top.

"I'm sorry. Took the leftover meatloaf x"

It was busy at the bar. Too busy. It was Thursday, and Thursdays were never this busy. The band playing had done a little promotion beforehand, and clearly, it paid off. You were sure lots of them were friends and family, but you eyed some curious anticipation from what you assumed were strangers too.

It was busy, but work was fun. It was just you and your immediate boss behind the bar together, and you wanted to impress, still. Be quick on your feet. Get lots of tips for the two of you to share later. You'd only worked there for about a month, but you'd learned fast. And it was fun because you seemed to really have a good routine down. There was no bumping into each other - if you were about to reach for a glass, he'd have it ready for you, and if you heard someone order drink from a bottle closer to you, you'd hand it over before he could even ask. Work was busy, hectic, and chaotic, but it was fun.

Most people drank beer. Some would order whiskey. Very, very rarely, someone would ask for something else. You'd barely touched the vast array of liquor bottles that decorated the wall behind the bar. So when someone ordered anything you'd not poured before, your boss would help you, show you once, then keep an eye the very next time you'd do it yourself. But most people drank beer, so you'd gotten used to asking which kind, almost on autopilot, and would point at the different taps with questioning eyes. Until someone didn't ask for a beer, and threw you for a loop.

"Jack and coke, please?"

You heard him before you saw him. The visceral reaction within your body was unreal. Unfair. Maddening, too.

You thought you had it all under full control. You had it all tucked away, squeezed into a small cage, locked up behind bars, keys thrown away far into Lake Michigan, never to be seen again. You'd been so good. Would sometimes go days without thinking of him. Became an expert in occupying yourself, and it really helped that none of your surroundings were reminders here. You had all of his things hidden away in a shoebox, placed it deep into your wardrobe, underneath and behind other items, and you'd tried to do the same with all the memories inside your head. Found a shoebox in there too, placed every single little thing you'd come across into this box and would store it away, somewhere near the back of your head, close to the top of your cervical spine.

And it had worked. You'd done so well.

But the sheer sight of him... the first little glimpse you caught after hearing that voice... It broke that cage wide open. Bars snapped in half, brick walls crumbled down and your heart was free. Free at last. Beating fiercely, almost painfully fast inside your chest. It got to swell again. Gave itself more wiggle room. Grew three sizes and pressed tightly against your lungs which made it hard to breathe. It hurt, but it hurt so good.

Eddie was here.

Have you ever felt your brain short-circuit in real time? Felt fires start from sparks too big upon the sight of someone's smile?

"What... how did you..." There were no full thoughts, and you had no possible way of verbalizing anything coherent in the moment.

"Steve," Eddie shouted over the music.

Your eyes grew, doubled in size. Never. Eddie was lying. Steve would never. Eddie could see your disbelief, your disgust at Eddie placing blame with your mutual friend and knew he had to explain.

"I saw..." Eddie sighed deeply, both hands placed on the bar as he leant forward, eyes closed, about to disclose information he wasn't proud of. "There was a note, with your new phone number and your address. He left it on the side, and I couldn't..." Eddie reached into a pocket, pulled it out and showed you Steve’s handwriting.

"You took it?"

"Don't worry, you know Harrington, he's got it memorized by now."

Like Steve being unable to reach you was the problem here.

"Eddie Munson?" someone tapped his shoulder, recognized him, went in for a hug immediately. "Told you it was him!" you heard someone else call out from the other side. "Eddie!"

Too many things were happening at once and you were unable to process any of them. Eddie was here, under questionable circumstances, and you didn't even have the time to be angry with him, because you were at work. You were at work, and it had been going so smoothly. You'd been on a roll, absolutely in it, you and your boss fully attuned to each other. Eddie ruined it, fucked it all up, but you had to get back to it. There were people waiting, drinks to be served, tips to be collected. But you were kind of... frozen. Almost nonresponsive.

You could only give Eddie confused eyes. Judgmental eyes. What the fuck are you doing here eyes. Came to mess up my life again huh eyes. But mostly, your eyes just held a lot of bewilderment and simple shock. Uncomplicated. Things anybody could read.

An arm holding a drink came into your vision from your left, and your boss placed down Eddie's jack and coke in front of him. A little dazed, you looked at your boss, who gave you a look, eyebrows raised high, not in question, but in let's get back to work, all right.

You looked at the man next to Eddie, who searched for your attention with a hand, was holding money and pointed at the beer tap before holding up two fingers.

"Coming right up," you snapped back into work-mode and smiled. You had to get back to work and pretend Eddie wasn't there. It was too busy at the bar not to. So, you ignored him, tried your best to not let your eyes find him, and focused on the work at hand. Work was busy, and it was fun, you sternly told yourself.

After a while, when the band was done playing, the bar started to feel more like a regular old Thursday inside. There was still enough work to be done, but nothing that overwhelmed you.

“Dude's still here, that okay?” Your boss eyed Eddie who was stood talking to two of the bandmembers. They seemed excited Eddie had seen their set.

You already knew Eddie was still there. You'd watched him all night. Corner of your eye. Peripheral vision. Like your body knew there was danger lurking, and you couldn't not keep an eye out for him.

“I'm working,” you shrugged. “If he wants to talk, he can wait.”

And you silently and secretly wished that he did. Fucking Eddie. What the fuck did he want? You’d last seen him in December, which for Eddie’s terms must have felt like just a week ago. Why had he been over at Steve’s?

“Is um… is he who I think he is?” your boss carefully followed up, making drinks right next to you as you kept busy rinsing glasses.

You gave a small smirk, but didn't answer, kept your eyes down. Eddie had been the talk of the night, obviously your boss knew the dude that seemed to be waiting your shift out was Eddie Munson of Corroded Coffin fame. But the way the two of you had interacted, before the murmur of people whispering his name had started, told your boss you weren’t just shocked to see him because he was Eddie Munson. No, you knew each other. There was some sort of history there, he could sense it, and he silently commended you for only letting some of it show for half a second. The rest of the night you’d been perfect bar staff. No regrets in hiring you.

"Could you... do you think you could get Corroded Coffin to come play a little gig here?" your boss joked, and you couldn't help but huff a laugh through your nose. "Give us a little show? No?" you got a nudge in the shoulder and a playful smile when you looked at him.

"I'll ask, but I can’t make any promises," you said, making your boss laugh loudly. Corroded Coffin played huge venues, had insane mosh pits, full light shows with smoke and pyrotechnics. The bar you worked at fit the genre, sure, but was small. Tiny. They would tear the place down, and if not the band themselves, then definitely the people coming to see them.

“Let me know if I need to kick him out, because I’ll do it. Don’t care what name he carries.” And with that, your boss picked up drinks to carry over to the other side of the bar to whoever ordered them. You silently berated yourself for having waited so long to move to the city. People were nice here. What had held you back so long? The second you thought it, you hated that the answer to that question sat down on a barstool right in front of you.

“So when does your shift end?”

You were prepared for questions from Eddie. All throughout the evening you'd thought about what things you would tell him. What things you’d be honest and up front about, and what things you’d avoid telling him. You didn't owe him anything, but you imagined Eddie had questions anyway.

What you weren't prepared for was the magnetic pulling you felt in your stomach when you saw Eddie standing in the middle of your small, new apartment.

What you weren't prepared for was Eddie kneeling down in front of you as you'd sat down on your couch to take your shoes off.

What you weren't prepared for were Eddie's hands that found the outside of your thighs and used his fingernails to slowly scratch up and down the sides of them slowly as Eddie leant back on his heels.

You kind of couldn't really do anything but watch his hands move slowly along your legs and your breath shuddered as you felt your ribcage expand and tighten simultaneously. You frowned when you recognized where you were emotionally. You were in your bed, in your old apartment still, and had just found that stupid fucking note Eddie left on his pillow. You were back in December in the exact moment where all you could feel was loneliness and the strongest yearning you'd ever felt for Eddie.

And now, Eddie was here.

"Eddie,"

Your eyes locked, but what were you going to follow up with? Ask him why he was there? Ask him why he had visited Hawkins so soon after his last visit? Why he'd taken that note with your details from Steve's place? Were you going to tell him about why you'd left? Tell him about those days after he'd left without saying goodbye, again? You didn't really want to do any of those things. Because Eddie was touching you, and you kind of didn't want him to stop.

You hesitated for too long and saw Eddie's dark eyes move between yours before he sat up on his knees and moved in close. Close enough for your noses to touch, to dance around each other for a brief moment, to move like you were kissing. Close enough for your breath to hitch, throat working, as you saw Eddie's eyes roam your face.

"Can I kiss you?"

Eddie had never asked permission like that before, and you didn't need asking twice.

You only needed to tilt your head a little for your lips to touch, and it could've been soft, and slow, but it was none of the sort. You smashed yourself into Eddie, held onto him, arms winding tightly around his neck to pull him into you and keep him there. You kept feeding pressure as your faces swirled, tongues exploring each other, making sure they recognized each other still. You had to feel as much of Eddie as you could to make sure he was really there. That he was real.

Eddie kissed you back just has fervorous, like he was surprised that you'd granted him permission for it. Like he thought that maybe he had asked a question you would've easily said no to.

Thinking back to what Steve had said, he wouldn't have been surprised if you did.

You kissed each other, inhaled each other and tasted each other until Eddie suddenly noticed how your breathing grew erratic at an alarmingly rapid rate. Your hands started clambering behind his head, then on his back, your touches increasing in desperation. Your lips pressed against his hard and it started to become uncomfortable. Eddie reached for your hands in a bid to loosen your grip and broke your kiss.

"Hey,"

Eddie tried for eye contact, to see if you were okay, but you were quick to dig your face into the crook of his neck, escaped into his hair, and hooked your arms under his to tightly squeeze him. Your pressed your chests together and hugged Eddie tensely. You hugged him like you'd never let him go, clung to him like you were scared he'd get up and walk out, your chest heaving heavily still.

"Hey, are you–" Eddie stopped talking when a sob escaped you and he felt your body shake against his. It startled him for a moment, but it only took a second for him to hug you back.

Emotionally, you were there, in your old bedroom still, alone, blinking tears from your eyes at that stupid note Eddie left on your pillow. Eddie had walked out and hadn't even said goodbye.

"Shh, it's okay," Eddie turned soft, found the back of your head to caress and gently stroked his other hand up and down your back.

You cried, and Eddie was gentle. You cried over Eddie, because of Eddie, and let Eddie comfort you. It was an agonizing loop you found yourself in, realized you'd been in, that somehow also felt like it spiraled down with the weight of everything growing heavier each time. You'd be pushed further down each time. You'd have to rise up higher each time, gain new unprecedented levels of strength each time. It had only been a few weeks, and you hadn't even properly began the painstaking process of putting yourself back together again since you'd last seen Eddie. You had just ran from it. Hid from it.

But now, Eddie was here. He had left you alone in your bed a few weeks ago, but now, he was here.

"You always leave," you spoke through broken sobs, letting out the words you felt were hurting your heart from the inside out.

"I'm here," Eddie softly reassured, his voice kind, but flat, almost void of feeling. "I'm here."

You heard it – lies – and knew he emotionally wasn't here at all, but you could pretend he was. Needed to pretend he was. You could feel him, smell him, taste him and could pretend he was here, just like he said he was.

"Do you want to go lay down?" Eddie whispered after a little while. You had calmed down, but were holding on still, and he'd been sat on his knees in front of your couch too long.

Eddie felt you nod your head on top of his shoulder, and you expected him to move back, away from you, in order to stand up. Instead, Eddie moved your legs to hook around his waist, said, "Hold on tight," before gripping onto your waist and hoisting you up from the couch as you clung onto him.

Lowering you down onto the bed, Eddie got a look at your face and saw the mascara streaks he'd been responsible for. When he wiped a thumb across one, you realised what he was doing and were quick to wipe at your own face with your hands. You were sure that whatever Eddie was looking at, wasn't very charming.

But then Eddie grabbed onto both your wrists, stilled your hands and moved them away slowly. Replaced them with his own. It felt like the least thing he could do, to slightly make it better a little. He licked one of his thumbs like your mother used to do, and used soft strokes to wipe the make-up stains away as you stared up at him. Eddie's touch was careful and tender, and you melted under it, relaxing deeper into your bed.

Eddie didn't have mascara splotches to wipe at, but you wanted to touch his face in the same ways he was touching yours. You reached up, cupped his cheeks, rubbed a thumb along a line in his face and got a smile out of him. Eddie moved his head, kissed one of your palms, then straightened up and looked at your jeans.

"Can I take these off?"

What was with all the asking for permission? It was new. You didn't mind it, but it was... different. You nodded and let Eddie undress you.

He removed your jeans, your socks, your top, your bra too, and you waited for his roaming hands. Waited for his touches, his squeezes, for Eddie to grab at you, with soft or harsh fingers – you didn't care.

Eddie then removed his own T-shirt, and instead of discarding it onto the floor with the rest of your clothing items, he moved it around in his hands, found the neckline and said, "Sit up a little." before helping you put it on.

Eddie dressed you in his own T-shirt, the one he'd worn all day and overwhelmed your senses with all things Eddie. It was the smoothest of moves that caught you entirely off guard, and you had to take the deepest of breaths to not burst into tears again.

When Eddie slipped into bed in just his boxers next to you, you noticed that you were secretly pleased that he hadn't latched onto you the second he'd seen you naked. This was much nicer. Eddie was about to get comfortable on his back, was about to pull you in for cuddles, but you stopped him.

"Lay on top of me,"

Eddie froze a second, covers held up in his hand, facial expression a little confused.

"I want to feel you on me," you felt raw and vulnerable, all up in your emotions and had shared them with him too. There was no use in hiding what you wanted from him now.

"Yea. Yea, okay." and Eddie scooted down a little, found your chest with his head and carefully relaxed until you were pressed down into the mattress by his full body weight.

Eddie listened to your heartbeat, felt himself rise and fall with your breaths and dozed off the very second he knew that you'd fallen asleep as well.

You woke up in the middle of the night when you felt Eddie roll off of you, to get more comfortable, you imagined. He laid down next to you and the loss of his warmth, his weight and his contact made your hand search for his so you at least had something, still. You were needy and clingy and knew it was unattractive and overbearing, but you didn't care. When you found his hand and interlaced your fingers with his, your felt him squeeze a few times which was enough reassurance for you to drift off again.

Eddie woke you up in the morning by placing a hot mug of coffee on your bedside table.

"Morning," Eddie sat down next to you on the bed and leant over you, one arm planted either side of you. He bent over for a kiss, and you groaned, "morning breath," and tried to avoid him getting too close. But Eddie was Eddie, and he held your face to kiss you anyway.

"Couldn't," another kiss, "care," more, "less." and then deeper too. Until Eddie murmured, "You're out of breakfast," and you groaned loudly as you squeezed your eyes shut tightly.

"Yea, I need to get groceries."

"So let's go have breakfast somewhere and get you some groceries."

You still didn't know why Eddie came to visit you. Why he had been in Hawkins, why he'd been over at Steve's. But Eddie sort of behaved in the same way he always did and you were about to plummet into domestic bliss together which you enjoyed far too much to confront him now. You'd get the answers to your questions later.

You found a little cafe to have breakfast at and sat by the window. You let Eddie choose your breakfast from the menu for you, but only because you had just told the waitress what Eddie was going to get. When your plates were put down in front of you, you both looked at the food, then at each other and both reached to switch meals because you'd chosen for each other what you really wanted to have yourselves. It was stupid and it turned you into grinning idiots, sharing dopey smiles as you ate. You missed Steve a little, thought he would have probably made some golden side comments had he been there, but you didn't mention it. Afraid it would ruin whatever it was that you and Eddie had going. Out of the confinements Hawkins held for you, where people had fully formed ideas of who you were as a person, and who you and Eddie were as friends, you got to just be... be yourselves, more. Be a little more coupley, without familiar judging eyes or the feeling you were going to have to explain to someone later that, no, you weren't actually dating, this was just what you were like.

Now, this was just who you got to be, almost without repercussions, and it made you want to up the level of it. Be a bit more of it.

And Eddie let you.

In the supermarket you noticed how flashy Eddie looked compared to every single other person in there. You realised that, when in Hawkins, Eddie definitely toned down this whole look he had created for himself. In Hawkins, Eddie was more the Eddie he'd been in high school, which, for small town terms, was pretty out there already anyway. But here, away from home and away the people that would still probably treat him as the town's freak, Eddie let some of his stage persona shine through in his outfit. Kind of made you feel a little underdressed, almost. He looked more confident, a little more removed from you, and sure, he looked very sexy, but it wasn't Eddie Eddie.

"What's chelse?" Eddie said, squinting at your shopping list. "Is this something fancy we don't have in Hawkins? That us simpletons have never heard of?" Eddie acted like he was the one stuck in Hawkins still, and that you were the one with a broadened worldview. Very obviously, that was clearly the other way around.

"Shut up, idiot. That says cheese."

"Excuse me, where do you keep your fancy chelse?" Eddie asked a teenager stacking shelves whose eyes grew with recognition for him.

"Oh my God, Eddie," you hissed under your breath, but couldn't withhold your giggles as you pulled Eddie along on your way to find some regular cheese.

Back in your apartment, Eddie started putting food away in all the wrong places, so as he placed items into random cupboards, you stood next to him and reorganized everything without saying anything. You just smiled, and when you snuck a look at Eddie, saw that he'd seen what you were doing, because he then placed bananas in the oven and a packet of uncooked spaghetti in the fridge. You were being dumb smiley idiots together and it was so cute, you imagined how Steve would say something along the lines of, "Well, at least you think this is fun." and he'd be so totally right.

"I start work soon," you said after letting yourself fall onto your couch, like you'd just ran a marathon.

Eddie copied you, hair flying as he landed against the backrest, sighing dramatically. Made you laugh.

"You can come sit at the bar, or... I don't know, stay up here, see what's on TV," you didn't want Eddie to leave, yet. You held out a hand and Eddie took hold of you, swinging your arms back and forth playfully.

"I'll have a shower, then call China... see what they have going on," Eddie joked.

"I'll send you the phone bill, so make every minute count," you joked right back, happy Eddie hadn't mentioned anything about needing to leave, about needing to get back to the band. It irked you a little too, unexpectedly, because you still didn't know why Eddie was here.

"What?" Eddie saw you frown as you looked at your hands that were still sort of moving around, drawing shapes in the space between you from your swirling elbows. You decided you were just going to be up front and ask the exact question on your mind.

"Why are you here?"

A beat.

"What made you come visit me?"

You turned to look at Eddie, who was staring at your hands just as you'd been doing.

"You weren't in Hawkins," Eddie shrugged and looked you in the eye briefly.

Your frown deepened, because that wasn't really an answer. It didn't explain anything, but just left you to put dots in places in order to connect them yourself. A dangerous game, because what if you put the dots in the wrong places and made the wrong connections?

"Missed ya," Eddie followed up, said it nonchalantly, Wayne's words echoing in his mind. He moved the hand he was holding up to his mouth to kiss it, easing the crease between your brows slightly.

No word on why he'd been back so soon. No word on what happened at Steve's for him to need to steal a note that held your details. You could imagine, sure, but those could be the wrong dots, and Eddie not elaborating only made you feel like he didn't want to talk about it. So, you didn't press it further, even though you really wanted to.

"Why did you let me in?" Eddie asked.

Oof.

You thought of all the cells in your body that all called out to Eddie at every second of every minute of every hour of every day, and about how having Eddie with you silenced all of them.

"Could hardly turn you away, could I? Leave you out in the cold?"

It was just as much of a non-answer as you'd gotten from him, and Eddie tutted, just about scoffed at you and you saw his brow furrow. You didn't take offense immediately, but were very ready to step into that box if Eddie didn't guide you away from it.

"Why do you... why are you doing this to yourself?"

Eddie instead pushed you straight into it.

"Excuse me?" you couldn't quite believe what you were hearing.

Eddie sat up, let go of your hand, used the both of his to rub his face and then turned his head a little to look at you.

"If it hurts you so much," Eddie started, but you weren't going to let him finish that sentence.

"Me?!"

Eddie just stared, blank faced.

"I'm the one who's doing this?" you challenged him.

"I mean–" Eddie raised his eyebrows and you knew he was going to have several examples ready to throw into your face. You very much didn't need to hear them.

"Why do you think I moved here, Eddie? Why I got the fuck out of Hawkins?"

Eddie just looked at you, and you could almost hear him think "you ran away", and you could feel the stinging of upcoming tears behind your eyes. The frustration of how easily emotion got hold of you again only angered you more, triggering the waterworks even more. You weren't strong enough yet. It hadn't been long enough since you'd last seen Eddie, and now here you were, a weak mess of a girl, about to drive away the person you wanted to keep close the most.

"I can't run away from myself… I can't run away from my past, from my actions, from choices I've made..." you had been able to run away from Hawkins, and so, that was what you'd done. It just hadn't worked as well as you would've hoped, and you realised it didn't work at all now that Eddie was here.

"You did… run away, I mean, didn’t you?"

Eddie said it with so much disdain, like it was the most cowardly thing you could've ever done. Like moving out of Hawkins was the absolute worst possible thing a person could ever do in their lifetime. Like you were faint-hearted. Weak. Spineless.

"You don’t get it." You got up to find the shoes you'd taken off earlier, wiping your hands harshly across your face to rid yourself of tears, annoyed that none of this seemed to touch Eddie at all. "Physically I had to," that was easier to say with you back towards Eddie, who was still sat on your couch. "But you think I can escape my own mind, Eddie? I’m in there, 24/7 - you are in there. It’s all the time, never ending, just... always there. How do I… how am I supposed to…" you started stumbling over words as your lips trembled, starting new sentences before ending the previous ones, thoughts overlapping and spilling out faster than your tears did.

"Hey," Eddie got up, but you were quick to hold out both your hands, palms facing him.

"No. I've got work." you turned around, grabbed a jacket and opened your door.

"Maybe you shouldn't be here... when I get back." and before Eddie could say anything, you stepped out and shut the door behind you.

You worked a grueling shift, and Eddie had been able to hear loud voices and live music thump in your apartment. It was late when you finished work, and you were exhausted, but you'd tried all night to build yourself up. Handed over beers whilst simultaneously mentally stacking bricks to build up walls in order to shield that weak mess of a girl inside, make sure she was still safe in there.

And then, Eddie was still there when you got back.

Hatred knotted in your stomach, because Eddie was still here and you liked it. Relief washed over you when you saw him, sat in the dark, still on your couch, and you wished it had been something else. Not relief. You wished that instead you would've felt ugly things. Mean things, exclusively.

You looked at each other in silence as the door clicked shut behind you and you noticed Eddie seemed sad. However, you couldn't allow yourself to dwell on it. Because feeling bad for him wasn't going to help you. You knew exactly what was going to help you, though.

"Say something horrible to me," you sounded exhausted, voice flat, not enough energy to muster up anything more for him.

Eddie immediately frowned in confusion.

"Tell me I'm your worst mistake," you stepped closer as you let your jacket slide form your shoulders.

"Say something to make me hate you,"

"Baby," Eddie got up.

You winced at the pet name, closed your eyes and breathed heavily, tried your best to pretend you didn't hear it.

"Tell me you fuck every single girl that throws themselves at you and that they do you better than I ever will and,"

"What are you..." Eddie tried to interrupted, but it just made you speak louder over him.

"That you'll never stop because they're just, too, good," you couldn't help but let your voice slowly build anger as you avoided any and all eye contact with Eddie.

Eddie slowly got closer, confused and concerned. This isn't how he had envisioned the two of you to make up after your shift had ended.

"Say that you think I'm annoying, that you hate the way I laugh,"

Now stood right in front of you, Eddie reached for your face with both his hands and he tried to find your line of sight to make you look at him.

"I don't," Eddie started, and you were quick to interrupt. "Then lie." you said sternly.

The air felt tense, but only because you were shooting daggers, glaring at Eddie with dark eyes, trying to win the staring contest you'd started with him the second you'd made eye contact. You won, because Eddie looked at your mouth for a second, and you wondered how you were going to murder all the butterflies that sprung up in your stomach.

"Ruin us, Eddie," you tried so hard to be strong. "Please." but it was difficult, and Eddie upped the ante when he kissed you.

For a second, you let him. You let Eddie kiss you, and it was immediately hot, and heavy, and you liked it. But you were strong, God damn it. You hadn't spent all hours of your shift building yourself up for fucking nothing. You were strong and were going to protect yourself, because clearly, no one else was fucking going to.

In a bid to take back control, you bit Eddie. Harshly. It made him pull back immediately.

"Give me reasons to hate you," you pleaded, breathing heavily.

"You're a mistake," Eddie said before crashing right back into you. There was nothing kind about the way you kissed each other. Forceful lips, pressing mouths, scraping teeth mixed in with unkind words, because Eddie obliged and started giving you what you were asking for.

"You're the worst thing that's happened to me in my lifetime," Eddie started guiding you backwards towards you bed.

"I hate the way you laugh," his tongue licked at your lips as his hands started to undress you.

"I hate the way you look," he said it right as he got your bra off of you and used a hand to push you back, making you fall and bounce on the mattress.

"I'm gonna keep fuck..." Eddie stopped, sighed a small breath, like he was unable to get it out of his mouth.

"Say it," you ordered.

"I'm gonna keep fucking every single girl that wants it," and with that, Eddie let himself fall on top of you. You were used to him at least pretending that, whenever you had sex, it was about you first. Not tonight. And maybe that was exactly right, because it drove home all the words he said and made them land in your brain.

Eddie didn't care about you.

But then, inches deep inside you, Eddie panted sudden sweet words.

"You've no idea what you do to me,"

His words dripped with lust and adoration, and you could've cried, but you didn't. You were strong, remember?

"No, more things you hate, t-tell me," Eddie's pace was fast, made it hard for you to speak. "Tell me more things that make me hate you,"

Eddie grumbled, grunted, let himself fall onto you as he kept going and chased his own orgasm.

"I think," Eddie started, but was cut off by himself as he came fast. He shuddered and spasmed on top of you, moaned loudly, then softer, until everything eventually stilled. "I think we should just stay friends."

And with a kiss on your cheek, Eddie climbed off of you and disappeared into the bathroom.

When Eddie came back out, you were silently crying in your bed. Eddie slid back in, nestled under your covers, but you jolted when he tried to touch you. So Eddie turned around, and you slept in your bed the way you'd never slept in a bed together; back to back, without touching each other, like two strangers forced to share a blanket.

But, asleep-you and asleep-Eddie, weren't confined by the same things awake-you and awake-Eddie were confined by, and your bodies had found each other in the night.

You woke up the next morning with Eddie's arms around you, the little spoon to his big spoon, and for a moment, you let yourself really feel it. Feel Eddie with every fibre of your being.

You deserved to win, you thought. Because with Eddie, you’d come in first place every single time, ask anybody. But Eddie hadn’t awarded anyone in years. There wasn’t a shortlist for you to top. There was just a long line of pretty girls who waited by stage doors and by tour buses, and you didn’t want to be in that line. You wanted this; Eddie in your bed, cuddled up to you, breathing in your neck, his hair or yours tickling you with every exhale. You wanted all of this just for yourself, for ever.

But you couldn't.

Because Eddie always left.

And you had ran away from him.

"You should leave," you whispered into the dark, as the city woke up outside your windows.

"Not yet," Eddie said. "Go back to sleep."

You shifted back a little, more into him, pressing your back against his chest more as you abandoned everything that happened the night before for a second. You understood that the very moment your feet would touch your floorboards and you both got out of this bed, it'd all be real again. And then, it'd all be over.

So you snoozed, and stretched out time and pretended for a moment that you were 17 and in Eddie's old bedroom in the trailer after a weird night of crossed boundaries. You pretended to snooze until Wayne would loudly knock on the door and tell you to come and clean up the mess you left in the living room. You pretended to snooze until you were no longer pretending and you just snoozed until you woke up hours later and found yourself alone again.

Alone but for one of those stupid little notes.

"Love you x"

You read it, crumpled it up and threw it across the room before burying your face back into your pillow.

It was over now. Eddie was gone, and it was over.

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Read the follow up: Then Again

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spicywhenspeaking · 6 months

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If I'm There: Chapter Fifteen

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie meet in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

warnings: underage drinking, unprotected sex (ope), mentions of depression and alcoholic parents.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @thebadchic @laurpartyprogram

When I read New Moon for the first time I thought Bella was being dramatic, sitting in front of her bedroom window just staring as time passed and seasons changed. How could your boyfriend breaking up with you leave someone such a shell?

I understand now.

Time isn’t just passing by me, it’s passing through me. School and work blur together, I’m still doing relatively well in my classes but I’m not giving it much effort and my teachers have noticed. Maggie tried to pull me out of my funk and invited me out to hang out, but I constantly came up with excuses to get out of it.

Mom comes home in November and I don’t register her arrival. Maybe if she had been a normal mom I could have been the kind of teenager that could keep up with her cool rockstar boyfriend. I wouldn’t have had to be nerdy Natalie, too focused on school to step away and have fun.

Thanksgiving is as eventful as you could imagine. Mom and Dad are trying to make us seem like a big happy family again like nothing happened. Of course a week later we find Mom’s stash of vodka in her sock drawer and she sobs while dad packs her bag to haul her back off to rehab.

I don’t react. I don’t care.

Nick texts me every once in a while but I usually ignore him. I know that’s mean but I don’t want to hear about the tour or Noah. Who doesn’t reach out at all. Jerk. I take all the pictures I had of us printed out together and shove them in an old shoebox. I throw in the shirts he gave me too, along with the cd and that stupid wolf drawing I kept and bury it in the back of my closet.

“Natty, come on. Let's just get out of the house, we can go to a movie?” Kyle has been trying to make me feel better, he feels responsible for what happened with Noah. I don’t think so, he didn’t force Noah to break up with me. No. Noah did that all on his own. We end up going to see some stupid action movie, I don’t pay attention to it.

Suddenly it’s December and finals are done. The semester is over, only a few more months and highschool is done.

It’s Christmas and Kyle got me a new set of ink markers and a sketchbook. “You haven’t been drawing much, thought a new sketchbook would inspire you.” Kyle says.

I try to smile, turning through the crisp clean pages. “Thank you Ky. I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything…” my voice disappears. “I just lost track of time.”

He nods in understanding, “no worries sis, you can draw me something” he nudges me and laughs.

“Yeah, of course.” I curl up onto the couch with the empty page in front of me. I end up drawing a skeleton hand sticking up its middle finger. I rip it out of the book and hand it to him. He laughs “thanks Natty, very festive” he jokes and a small laugh escapes me.

A week later it’s New Year’s Eve and Kyle is trying to get me to go to a party with him.

“Come on Natty, you’ll have fun!” He tries to convince me but it’s not working. “Really, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to head to bed early. You should go have fun Ky.”

He reluctantly leaves me and I’m digging in my fridge smelling leftovers when I hear the doorbell.

Walking over I open the door and Maggie barges past me dressed in a beautiful silver body-con dress, her curly hair is bouncy and her make up is sparkly and bright. Perfect for New Year’s Eve. “Um..hello to you too Mags, what are you doing here?” She gives me a once over and huffs an annoyed breath. “Well after you go take the shower you desperately need. We’re getting you dressed up and going to the party Hunter is hosting a few streets away.” Hunter is the guy that works at the coffee shop that’s a year older than us. We work together some weeknights and he’s nice enough.

“Uhhh I don’t know Maggie, I’m not really in the party mood.” I tell her as I pick aimlessly at my oversized hoodie.

“I don’t care. You’ve been sad about that idiot long enough. It’s time to start living again and show everyone what a mistake it was letting you go. The first of the year is the perfect time to start!” She encourages me and ushers me up the stairs towards my room.

Thirty minutes later I’m shaved, moisturized and sitting in front of my vanity while Maggie applies my makeup. She brought a dress for me to wear, it’s a deep cut golden glittering dress that hits me in the middle of my thighs. She brought a matching pair of gold heels and I put on my small gold hoops. She’s finishing up with a light mist of setting spray and moving on to my hair. Maggie thinks I will look good with loose curls with one side pinned back. I decide to let her take full control and when she’s done I look like a different person. Well, not exactly. I look like me, just not like I’m used to. My boobs are pushed up because of the bra Maggie brought for me so they look incredible and my skin is glowing because of the luminous powder Maggie dusted me with. I feel good. For the first time since Noah dumped me, I actually feel good.

I turn to hug Maggie, “thank you.” Her arms wrap around me returning my hug. “You’re welcome Nat, now let’s go party!” Giggling, we run down the stairs together.

Hunter's house is about a ten minute walk from my house. It’s a cold night but when I reached for a jacket on my way out of the door, Maggie told me not too. That “the party would heat me up,” whatever that meant. As we round the block and head down the street towards the party my skin prickles with goose bumps and I rub my hands up and down them to warm up. Maggie sees the house and points it out. It's a big white two story colonial with warm white Christmas lights lighting it up.

The front door is open but thankfully Maggie was right and it's warm inside the crowded house. “Okay, now lets go grab a drink!” Maggie calls out over the music. A DJ that I noticed in the corner of the cleared out living room is playing “We Found Love” by Calvin Harris and I have to laugh at the irony. I follow Maggie to the kitchen where there is more alcohol surrounding the kitchen island than I’ve ever seen. She mixes two cups and hands one of them to me. I hesitate to grab it at first but eventually I take it “what the hell,” I say and take a big gulp. The alcohol burns my throat going down but leaves a warming sensation in my stomach. “Woo! Lets party Natty!!”

Maggie cheers as she raises her cup in toast and takes a sip. The crowd, the loud music and the hungry eyes that have been checking me out since we got here have me slightly nervous. I want to have fun, I want to get out of my funk and have a good time. I take the drink and chug it all down. “Another one please,” I hold out the cup to Maggie and she looks at me surprised. “Alright Natty, careful now. I don’t want you to get sick.” she warns gently. “Trust me, I'll be fine, I come from a long line of alcoholics.” I mean it to come out as a joke but Maggie just looks slightly concerned. “It's just a joke Mags, I’ll be fine.” She nods and mixes me another drink and hands it over.

I take it and we wander out towards the dance floor. It’s only 10:30 so we have plenty of time until midnight. I think the DJ is doing a countdown of songs of the year because now he’s playing “I Love It” by Icona Pop. Maggie and I are dancing and I can feel myself loosening up, swaying my hips and jumping to the beat. I feel more alive than I have in weeks. I am so thankful to have a friend like Maggie.

The next hour is a mix of dancing and drinking, I am playing a round of flip cup in the backyard. My team wins and two other senior boys that I think are on the football team I was playing with lift me up onto their shoulders in celebration. I’m laughing and definitely drunk at this point and when I look up towards the back porch and feel like my eyes deceive me and I have to do a double take.

It’s Nick and Noah. He’s here. Why is he here? He’s looking at me with wide eyes and then looking down at the very large football players that are currently holding me up and his eyes squint into a glare. I tap the boys shoulders and they place me gently back on the floor. “Thanks for the lift boys.” I joke and we share a laugh.

My eyes shift back towards the porch and Nick and Noah are gone…was I just seeing things? I am pretty drunk so It’s likely.

I walk over to Maggie and she’s looking down at her phone texting, when she looks up and see’s me she quickly puts her phone behind her back.

I eye her suspiciously. “What are you up too?” I ask.

She smiles wide and tries to tilt her head to act innocent. “Well…maybe Nick texted that him and Noah were in town…and maybe I told him where the party was.”

My eyes bugg out and I lightly push her shoulder. “Maggie! Why would you do that!! Since when are you two texting?!” She grabs my drink and hands it to me and with the added surprise I throw it back instantly. “He texts me occasionally to see how everything is going? How you’re doing, since you don’t respond to his texts….” I roll my eyes. “I’m not going to talk to them. I don't care that he’s here. I’m having fun and I’m going to dance some more.” I turn and head back towards the house. “Are you coming?” I ask back towards Maggie and she follows after.

Grabbing Maggies hand I get back onto the dancefloor with new found enthusiasm. My hips are swaying and my hands are above my head, my hair is swinging side to side. Maggie is dancing in front of me and I suddenly feel hands on my waist. Looking back I see it’s Hunter. “Nice party Hunter.” I tell him. He smiles, “Nice dress Natalie, you looks hot.” I blush at his compliment. “Thanks.” I don’t know what comes over me but I know my dancing with Hunter is becoming riskier. My back is pressed completely against his front and his strong hands are gripping my waist.

Suddenly I’m being ripped off the dance floor and away from Hunter and Maggie. “What the fuck!” I squeal, turning to see how grabbed me. I see none other than Noah.

“Put me down Noah! Right now!” I yell at him over the music. I wiggle and kick to get out of his grip but he’s too strong and I’m too drunk to figure out how to escape with any of my karate skills. What’s the point of having a black belt if I can’t remember how to break out of a hold after a few drinks. More than a few drinks I guess as the world spins and I’m set back down on my feet in the cold night air.

“Natalie, what the Hell are you doing?!” Noah says in an explosive tone.

It takes me a moment to react. To fight past the feelings of relief in seeing him. To dig deep into myself for the anger. “Excuse me?” I say and my voice is dripping with venom. “Who the FUCK do you think you are?! Wisking in to pull me away while I’m finally having fun!” I yell not caring who hears and his eyes dark around. I fight the compulsion to get closer to him, the need to reach out and touch him to see if he’s real.

He just ignores my yelling and asks again “what’s going on Natty, you’re drunk dancing on some guy? That's not like you.”

I laugh out loud “ha! What happened?! Seriously? Well..let me see.” I say in a mocking tone and tap my finger against my chin. “My boyfriend dumped me and then left without a word, then, my Mom immediately relapsed when she got home from rehab and I fell into a pit of depression that my best friend dug me out of. She brought me out to party tonight and that’s exactly what I was doing. I’m at a party. I’m partying.” My voice despite slurring slightly is resolved. He eyes me up and down, his hand reaching out, hesitating and then dropping back to his side. “You’re barely clothed. You never dress like this” he snides, “and you're drunk. I thought you didn’t drink?” He asks.

“Yeah well, I thought you said you’d love me forever but I guess things change. And you’re drunk too! How are you judging me for that right now and as for the outfit? Everyone else thinks I look hot. I know Hunter did. Should we go ask?” I know I’m pushing him but I don’t care. I move to get past him and he holds out his arm, stopping me. “No need. I know exactly what he was thinking. I saw his face, how he was looking at you like a piece of meat.” Noah’s voice sounds tormented, like watching me dance with Hunter was painful. “Well Noah! He can look at me however he wants! And I can dance with whoever I want and I can kiss whoever I want! And if I want to, I can FUCK whoever I want! You dumped me, remember? You don’t get to come back and act like my big protector anymore.” Forgetting my previous restraint I end up growling out all of this about an inch from Noah’s face. He backs me back up against the wall and keeps the distance the same. We’re nose to nose and I hear a rumble in his chest. “You deserve better than him, better than me.” My eyes roll, “oh fuck off with that. I am perfectly capable of making that kind of decision myself”

We can hear the countdown begin inside the house.

TEN…

NINE…

“I’m just trying to help you Nat, that guys bad news”

EIGHT…

SEVEN…

“Hilarious, that’s exactly what people told me about you.”

FIVE….

FOUR…

“Maybe you should have listened.” His eyes fall to my lips and I can feel deep down that I’m done for.

THREE…

TWO….

“Is that what you wished had happened. That you had stayed away from me?”

ONE... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

I shake my head and without thinking, maybe due to the drinks or because Noah is finally back in front of me and I still desperately miss him despite the heartbreak. I pull him even closer and kiss him.

At first he’s stiff, hands and body stilled until my fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck and he comes alive. Grabbing me back and kissing me fiercely, like a man starved and I’m the only water he’s seen in weeks, months, years.

Fireworks explode in the background and we burst apart when the rest of the party runs outside to watch the sky glitter with a chorus of colors.

Staring at each other, mouths red and swollen from our harsh kiss, he looks me up and down again and says “fuck it, do you want to get out of here?”

I nod silently and Noah takes my hand and leads me away from the party and down the street heading towards my house. Praying to the universe that Kyle isn’t home and pushing away the thoughts that are asking “is this a good idea?” “What’s going on here?” I don’t care. We kissed and everything fell away.

I am so weak.

Apparently so is he, his whole “you deserve better” thing flew out the window the second our lips touched again.

The cold air sobers us up a bit by the time we’re sitting on the floor against my bed awkwardly.

“Um, I found a stash of my moms vodka my dad didn’t catch if you want another drink?” I ask and fidget with the bottom of my dress. His eyes track my fingers on my thighs and he mumbles out a quiet “sure.”

I run out of the room back downstairs to grab two cups, filling them with ice and cranberry juice. Next, I go into the pantry and look behind the five pound sack of flour and still sitting there, a tad dusty, is half a handle of whipped cream vodka. I pour some in each drink and take the cups along with the bottle back upstairs.

Noah has moved to now sit on my bed, his head against my headboard. “I missed your room, it smells like you” he says softly as I hand him the drink.

“Yeah, well hopefully by that you don’t mean you miss my BO. I’d have to call you out for that one” I try to joke and diffuse the awkwardness. He chuckles and takes a sip of the drink. “This is good. Um, butno I don’t mean you’re BO. It just smells good. Like you”

I smile and take a sip of my own drink. “Thanks then, I guess”

We drink in comfortable silence finishing our drinks and refill the cups with another shot of the vodka. There’s not as much cranberry hiding the flavor but the sweetness of the whipped cream in the vodka is pretty easy to get down. The closeness, the renewed alcohol in our systems brings me back into my warm drunken state.

“How have you been Natty?” His eyes are downcast, not risking seeing the pain that flashes in my eyes at his question.

“I’ve been better, but Maggie has been helping me. Nick texts me sometimes, I should be better about responding. How have you been?” I ask, but I keep my eyes fixed on him.

He lifts his head and meets my gaze, “pretty shit without you to be honest, I shouldn’t have ended it like that.” His words are soft and lure me in.

“But you still would have done it?” I ask and take another sip, easing the nerves creeping up.

“I should say yes. I think you deserve so much more Nat. You deserve everything, attention and support and no drama.” His fingers trail from resting beside him to tracing the hem of my dress and I chug down the rest of the cup and set it aside. “What is life without drama?” I ask and fight against the urge to lean forward towards his warmth.

“A life free of sadness and anger?” his voice is melancholy and I feel my heart cracking again.

“Those come with life regardless. They are unavoidable for everyone.” Like an invisible force field shatters, I place my hand delicately on his shoulder, “you brought much more into my life than sadness and anger” I whisper to him, afraid of putting so much of myself out into the open but, the effects of drinking seem to have broken down my boundaries.

“You brought everything into my life” Noah replies and moves swiftly capturing my lips in a firm kiss and I instantly melt into him. Scrambling I slot my things on either side of him and tangle my hands into his hair. His hands grip my waist and move to squeeze my ass and bring me even closer. “Noah, Noah, I need you” I whimper in between kisses and he slides his hands under my dress and squeezes my flesh.

“Fuck, Natalie. I missed you so much” he says into my neck as he kisses up and down. He reaches around and unzips the back of my dress and lets it fall down my arms and around my waist.

He unhooks my bra and I rip his shirt over his head. Instantly he’s on me again, lips kissing and sucking at my skin causing me to squirm and grind down onto him feeling the hard length of him.

He flips us over and pulls the rest of my dress down and staring down at me with burning desire. My head is spinning but I refocus on the feeling of Noah pulling down my panties and trailing a path of open wet kisses towards my soaking wet core. At the first touch I buck off of the bed and a sinful whine escapes my lips.”I missed the way you taste” he moans out. And even with his mind clouded with alcohol he is a master with his tongue and I squirm in pleasure. When he adds a finger my body writhes in pleasure as I fall apart in a cry of ecstasy.

“More Noah, please. I need more” I beg and he stumbles to unbutton his pants, not even all the way off his legs before he’s sinking into my warmth. “Oh Natalie, you feel perfect. You’re everything, so good. Fuck” he moans as he begins to move his hips back and forth causing sparks of white to appear behind my eyes and the glorious feeling of being filled completely.

We’re a tad uncoordinated and unbalanced due to the alcohol but we eventually set a pace that’s causing us both to catch our breaths and moan in tandem. Noah’s hand reaches down to press against my clit and I set off into a second orgasm. My inner walls clenching around him and causing him to lose himself and spills deep into me.

“Fuck.” He gasps out and rests his head against my stomach as we both take a moment to catch our breath.

“Yeah, you can say that again” I respond half asleep.

Noah rolls off and onto the stop next to me, crashing onto the pillow and we pass out wrapped tightly together.

Hours later with the morning sun leaking into my room I groan, wiping the sleep from my eyes and while moving to sit up feeling the arms around me I am reminded of the actions of last night.

I reach over to my phone that is almost dead on my nightstand and I see I have missed texts.

Maggie: ims o drink!!! I’ll call u tmorw LUCV YOU 1:36am

Kyle: staying to make sure my boys get home safe, I’ll be back home tomorrow afternoon. Happy new year nat! 12:45am

“Shit” Noah grumbles as he slowly rises and sees the state of the two of us. “Um..how are you feeling?” He asks cautiously. I shrug “I feel tired, nauseous but also hungry? And my head is killing me” I say to him, “you?” He has his face in his hands before looking up at me. “I’m okay. I'm just- I’m sorry about last night. That was stupid” his voice is pinched and he’s throwing his legs over the side of the bed pulling his pants quickly back on and running a stressed hand through his hair. “What? What are you talking about Noah?” I demand, pulling the blanket higher to cover myself. He pulls his shirt on next and let’s put a harsh sigh. “Sleeping together, that was a mistake.”

That stings. “A mistake?” I whisper, “so you don’t even want to try and make this work?” I ask with agony clear in my voice. “You’re just going to leave? Again?”

“I shouldn’t have come over here last night, it’s not fair to you Nat. I can’t be what you deserve right now and I can’t ask you to wait around for me. I'll just complicate your life” He finally looks at me and there’s nothing I can do about the tears falling from my eyes.

“If that’s how you feel I’m not going to beg you to love me. Just go Noah. Leaving is apparently something you’ve mastered” I don’t care about the spiteful nature of my words. I just roll back over facing away from him as he finishes gathering his things and heads out of my room and out of my life again. I go back to sleep for a few more hours. I don’t cry until I’m showering off the makeup and sweat from the night before.

Kyle gets home and doesn’t ask when he sees my red rimmed eyes just gives me a side hug and tell me it will get easier.

Maggie texts me again later in the afternoon.

Maggie: YOU LEFT THE PARTY WITH NOAH?! Girl! SPILL NOW! 2:35pm

Natalie: Come over? We can have a girls night and I’ll tell you about it. Just understand that I don’t want to ever hear the name Noah Sebastian again. 2:37pm

muawh muawh ! kisses kisses ! I know it hurts but just trust the process....

next chapter

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rehfan · 5 months

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Adam and Eve on a Raft: Part II - Keeping Promises

Part I

Rockstar!Eddie x Fem!Reader; Eddie x AFAB!Reader

Inspired by the Bob Seger song “Turn the Page”

Warnings: 18+ OR OVER; MINORS DNI; tw: death; tw: AIDS-related death; grief; female masturbation; vibrator use; oral (m recieving); praise kink; cock warming kink

A/N: This kind of got away from me, but I think it’s all worth it in the end. Let me know if you enjoy!

DO NOT REPOST MY STUFF ANYWHERE ELSE, PLEASE. WHAT’S MINE IS MINE.

**********************

The roads all seemed to blend together after a few more states. On the other side of Kansas City, Missouri you finally gave in to exhaustion. Spotting a cheap hotel, you pulled in and took a breath before getting your aching body out of the car. Groaning with a stretch, you eyed the front door and made your way inside. The clerk looked nonplussed at your arrival, bored eyes in a bored face performing a boring task. But he was efficient and soon you had your key and grabbed your bag from the trunk, carefully packed when you came on your cross-country journey, hastily packed when you left.

Your best friend was dead and you two had had a pact. Even in your first few years of college, you kind of knew you’d keep the promise made in the darkness of your shared dorm room. It was the kind of whispered thing between friends that eventually turn into things called pacts. Even though a decade had gone by and you may have lost touch with her here and there, you never were completely out of each other’s lives and she knew she could count on you just as. you could count on her.

Despite this, you had been shocked to learn of her passing. It left you feeling furious that she should have told you, helpless that you could have done something or said something that would have changed things, and deeply heartbroken that the one person who knew where all your skeletons were buried now needed burying herself. She had been an absolute fireball, living her life out loud every day, but maybe that’s why she went out quick. No matter. The disease that killed her didn’t give a shit about people’s personalities. It just took them. So many gay men were now gone from it. Practically an entire generation. And there was no cure in sight. The only thing you could have done was hold her hand at the end, but she hadn’t told you and therefore robbed you of the feeble effort of comforting her. And so you became angry again, which led to the helplessness, which led to the sadness.

You had heard that straight women were catching it from unprotected sex with men. Julia had been free and wild like that, you being the more conservative of the two of you when it came to sex, love, and relationships. You supposed that she thought if she were on the pill, there would be no need for a condom. That sounds like her. As you stood in the shower, grateful for a reasonable amount of water pressure that came from the shower head, you couldn’t help but think that if HIV and AIDS had preyed upon straight white males with the power of a thousand suns the same way it preyed on gay men, the world would already be on the way to curing it - if not solved the problem entirely. And again, you became angry.

Hot tears joined the shower’s water and you let it out in a moan. You were so tired. So aggrieved. You missed Julia.

“If I die first, you have to clear my place out before my mom finds all my dildos,” she had said, and the two of you had laughed. You didn’t really care for all the dongs she purchased, but you had to admit that a couple of them were quite impressive. “Promise me, baby.” She had always called you baby. Like you were hers to take care of. It was only kind of weird at first, but it rolled off her tongue with such fluidity, you didn’t hate it. It was a simple term of endearment. You were “Baby” and she was “Puddin”. And you had laughed about that too.

But then her mom had called to tell you. “She didn’t want me to say anything while she was sick. I let her go with the dignity she wanted.” You told her mom that you understood perfectly, but you didn’t. You didn’t at all. “She went quick and peacefully,” her mom had said. Quick and peaceful into death? Your Puddin’? Not a thing you could ever ascribe to her. Not the woman you knew. But you said all the right things and made all the appropriate comforting noises to her mother until you could hang up. It was then you finally cried for the first time, collapsing to the floor in the kitchen in your Providence walk-up.

You made it out to Colorado City and her funeral by car. You decided to just spend the time to get out there and back because you needed to think. You had planned to get a hotel, but her mother wouldn’t hear of it. It was all arranged that her uncle would graciously let you stay at his house. “We have the most room and she loved you so much. Keep your money. Just stay with us and make yourself at home. Julia would have wanted us to have you.”

So you did. And you mourned with her mom and uncle and helped them bury your best friend.

At the collation, with everyone quietly wandering around her mother’s house with hors d’ouvres on clear plastic plates and sipping from clear plastic cups, you had gently asked her mom if it was okay to keep some things of Julia’s. Little things that she and her family probably wouldn’t miss or care about. Her mom had wiped her nose with a black lace handkerchief and nodded. “I think she wouldn’t have minded.”

You had known that to be very true.

The next day, you drove to her apartment, let yourself in with the key her mother had given you, and headed straight for the bedroom. You sighed and said: “Well Jules, where are they? Bedside table? Box under the bed? Between the mattress and box spring?”

You found you had been correct with all three guesses. “Jesus, Puddin,” you muttered, finding magazines under the mattress, “good thing I’m thorough.” It all went into a plastic garbage bag you found under the kitchen sink.

One toy was still in its box with a small folded card on top. You didn’t have the heart to throw it out without looking inside. There was, after all, a slim chance that it wasn’t something inappropriate for her mother to find and you should leave it there. Nope. Definitely a toy. And the card had your name on it along with a message written in shaky scrawl that was definitely Julia’s.

If you kept your promise, let this be your reward. I love you always, baby. — Puddin.

You broke.

*********************

You had been afraid that the hotel mattress would be too comfortable. Pairing that with your exhaustion, you did the sleep-math and you knew you were going to be exhausted and probably crash for at least 12 hours. Between the grief and the road-weariness, you were pretty doomed. You were checking in at 6:30am just outside of Kansas City, MO, but just as a precaution, you had asked about late check-out and were prepared to pay extra, but the man behind the desk had told you noon and that housekeeping comes at three. So that was that. Your portable travel alarm clock buzzed on the dresser opposite the bed and shook you from your dreams at 8:30am the following day. With a grunt and a curse, you sat up, rolled your neck, and mentally prepared to get back on the road to Providence again. Day One down, one and a half more to go.

You handed your key back to the reception desk where a bright penny of a girl stood smiling and offered free coffee by gesturing to a small set of carafes and travel cups with lids over to the side in the small lobby. You accepted with gratitude and left the small hotel behind.

As you regained I-70 eastbound, you remembered Eddie. Talking with him was thrilling. All that rock star fame, and still goofy and a bit shy. It was a deadly combination. And his eyes were everything; deep brown pools that pulled you in like an endless void, but with a soft friendliness that didn’t spell instant disaster. You didn’t know if it was the coffee or the thought of him or both, but it had you wondering about the box buried deep in your suitcase and how many batteries it would need.

“Jules, you would have loved that entire interaction,” you said to her as if she were in the passenger seat beside you, gazing with a knowing smile at the passing landscape.

You heard her in your head. “You know there was a motel right across the street. You could have spent the night there - and some of it with company - you know?”

You laughed and shook your head. “That’s you, not me, Puddin. I’m too much of a coward.” After a pause, you added: “You were always the brave one.” You glanced over at the empty seat beside you. “You were always so much braver than me.”

**********************

You pulled off the highway and made your way through to a small town in Indiana to get some gas and some lunch. The coffee had done its job, but it wasn’t enough. As you came into the town there were two things that caught your eye: an old burger joint called Benny’s Burgers that was boarded up and defunct. Shame. You would have pulled in there in a heartbeat. The other thing you noticed was a sign for the town itself, shiny and new with another sign hanging from the bottom of it and swinging in the slight breeze of that cold morning. The main sign announced:

WELCOME TO HAWKINS, IN (pop. 21,894)

The smaller swinging sign proclaimed:

HOME OF ROCK STAR EDDIE MUNSON AND BIRTHPLACE OF HIS BAND CORRODED COFFIN

Your heart was instantly in your throat. “He’s following you!” giggled Puddin in your mind and you couldn’t argue with her. Well well… let’s see where Eddie Munson came from, you thought.

The town was so boring as to be nondescript. The town square was nice, if dated, with what appeared to be a new gazebo in one corner. Plenty of cars out for that Monday morning and you pulled up to the first gas station you could find, scanning as you pumped your gas, for a place that served breakfast. Apparently even the ubiquitous McDonald’s hadn’t discovered this particular map dot. You paid the attendant inside and asked about a restaurant. He pointed you back to the town square and mentioned Molly’s Cafe.

Molly’s was small but clean and the smell of bacon almost made you drool. You ordered and waited in the window booth seat, sipping on another cup of coffee. This seemed to be the perfect place to people-watch without being obvious and you found yourself avidly interested in the foot traffic outside the big plate glass window with the painted Molly’s script across it in red, plenty of people passing throughout the square despite the chill in the weather. A mother with small children in tow passed an old man walking with a cane. The odd car passed slowly. Two men came in to the restaurant, work overalls on under their puffy coats, and took seats at the lunch counter. Definitely locals, you judged, because the waitress didn’t even give them menus. “The menu probably hasn’t changed in 20 years,” said Julia in your mind. Again, you couldn’t argue.

Then a burly cop came in with a smaller deputy beside him. They sat in the other booth at the other window and nodded to everyone there, except you. You, they visibly noticed, but didn’t question your presence. Again, the waitress didn’t even bother with menus, just came over and took their order. She probably did the same thing every day. “God, the cook must be bored,” you muttered around the rim of your cup and Julia agreed.

You could see why metalhead Eddie Munson could not be contained in Hawkins, Indiana.

As you tucked into the meal you had just been served, you wondered where he was now. And whether or not he had forgotten you. Left you behind as a memory of the road - if he had remembered you at all. Just like he had left behind Hawkins, Indiana.

********************

It was nearing 10:00pm and you were ready for another hotel room and hot shower. This was easy to obtain as various services off the major highways were plentiful. This time, it was off of I-81 just outside of Harrisburg, PA. The night staff here were pleasant and did accept late check-outs.

As you unpacked for the night, the corner of the box peeked out at you. You pulled it out completely and read the card again. “You silly bitch,” you muttered. Opening the box, you pulled out the 7-inch lifelike dong. It was stiff yet with some give, especially nearer the tip, had a scrotal sack that served as hilt and a handle, and was made of a soft material. There was a compartment for a D-battery. “Jesus, Jules! You trying to send me to the moon?” You clicked the dial once, twice, three times, but without any juice, the thing lay dormant in your hand. You scooted the box over so you could sit and the box rattled. “No you didn’t.” You pulled up the dong-shaped insert inside and there were two D-batteries in their pack at the bottom of the box. You looked up and caught your own reflection in the dresser mirror. “Oh my god.”

You had never watched yourself masturbate before. But the position of the hotel mirror seemed too much like fate to pass it up. You shed your clothes quickly and positioned yourself to give yourself the best vantage point, pillows stuffed comfortably at your back. You spread your legs and laughed at yourself. You were actually nervous. Why? You were the only one there! What about your naked self was so embarrassing anyway? Your body was yours. Had been your body all your life. Sure, changes happened, things shifted, but it was a body that worked for you and it was yours. There was nothing wrong with any of this.

You couldn’t help but wonder if the voice you had in your head rallying you to be confident had a tinge of Julia’s timbre to it. Probably.

You clicked the knob on and it buzzed to life, shocking you so that you almost dropped the damn thing. Taking a breath, you put its tip to your clit. A moan rocked through you. You clicked it off. “Fuck, what is wrong with me?” You adjusted your position to recline just a bit more and took another steadying breath. You didn’t turn it back on. Slowly, you rubbed the inert tip of it against you again. The pressure of it was good and you could feel yourself get wet the more you worked.

“What does your cock look like, Eddie?” you asked your reflection. “Does it feel as good as this?” You pressed the tip to your opening, threatening breaching yourself, but it was too thick to plunge into you yet. “I bet it does. I bet you’re really a gentle guy, huh? A good guy with a huge fucking dick.”

Your breath echoed in the room as you continued to work the dong into you and along your clit, alternating sensations, not quite ready for that first click that activated the vibration just yet. But you wanted to be. The more you pressed that hard phallus against your sex, the more you pictured Eddie enjoying the view. “You like what you see, Eds?” You could see him smile and nod, the way he did at the diner. Only now there was just you and him and the vibrating dildo in your hands. “Want to see more, baby?” He nodded again. Now, you were so slick, the sound of you was joined your breathy moan as you pressed the tip yet again to your opening. This time, you spent time working it in, all the while picturing him standing over you, watching you with those eyes, his hands clenching and unclenching in frustration that he couldn’t touch you, help you, fuck you.

You could see the bulge in his jeans. “Your cock would feel so much better, but this is all I have for now, baby.” And with that, the head of the dong slipped into you. The pressure of it was delicious. Slowly, you worked it into you, twisting it this way and that, inching it deeper and deeper, relishing the sucking sound of it as you slipped it out of yourself completely, teasing your clit, and slipping it back in again. You were now so wet, there was no resistance and you slid it in all the way to its hilt.

For a few long strokes, you let yourself feel the entire length of it, watching Eddie in your mind’s eye with his mouth hanging open, a crease between his eyebrows as he saw it disappear and reappear again and again. You heard him say: “Jesus, sweetheart. You can take a cock, can’t you?” You smiled, humming in the affirmative. “Watch yourself take that cock,” he instructed, and you did. The length of it disappearing inside you over and over was a bit mesmerizing. “Now rub your clit, sugar. Just like I want you to.” You wet two fingers and worked your clit. Instantly, your breath hitched and you could hear him chuckle. “Good girl. That’s my good girl.”

You wanted nothing more than for him to actually be here with you right now because you needed his cock in your mouth right now. You begged him for it. “Please, Eddie,” you whimpered, “need to suck you off too. Please. Let me. Want to be the best girl for you.”

“Oh baby,” he said, smiling at you as he did before he had kissed your hand and let you go all those states ago, “you have no idea how happy you’ve made me.” And with that, he left his belt buckled, but unzipped his flies and pulled his cock and balls out from beneath the material. He was as thick and long as the vibrator you were currently fucking yourself with, only he curved upward slightly. He was beautiful.

Even though he wasn’t really there, your mouth watered and you could feel the softness and warmth of it against your lips. He was even dripping precum. The salt of it was heady and his smell was musky and clean at the same time. Heaven. He smelled like heaven. Your fingers clicked the first setting on.

The vibration that came from within you took your breath away. You kept your hands working and his imaginary cock in your mouth as you worked urgently to your climax. Experimentally, you clicked it up again. The vibrator dropped from your grasp and kicked up against your front wall. It happened so fast and you were so close, you didn’t bother to grab it again, only pressed your hips downward against it as the base of it caught on the bedding and created just enough resistance to make it work for you. Your fingers blurred over your clit as you rode into your orgasm, letting it crash over you and through you, Eddie’s imaginary cock against your tongue, his imaginary cry in your ears.

Your hips undulated through your come-down, relishing the feeling of being that full and feeling that good. You reached down after a while and turned the vibration off, but didn’t retract the dong from inside you. If anything, you pushed it further inside, seeking that full feeling and trying to make it last. You rolled onto your side and brought your knees up. “That felt amazing,” you sighed to no one in particular. Picking your head up, you looked at yourself in the mirror, noting that you could see the end of the dildo coming out from you. You reached back and pulled it out just a bit, only to settle it right back inside you. “So fucking good.” You worked yourself gently like that for a few minutes, undecided whether or not to do it again or sleep.

Eventually sleep won out and you woke a few hours later, chilled, with the vibrator still inside you.

You opted for sleep clothes, but decided in the end that the cock felt so good, you wanted it inside you all night. You got comfortable in bed and pressed it inside you once more, sighing contentedly as it settled inside you, imagining Eddie snuggling you from behind, warming his cock inside you for the night.

You slept until 10:00am, and finally checked yourself out at 11:00am. Silently, as you pulled out from the lot, you chided yourself that you still had about six more hours of driving until you reached home. And - the dread settled in your stomach - you still had to navigate through New York City.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #smut #writing #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie smut #fanfic #stranger things #joe quinn #joseph quinn #tw: death #tw: AIDS-related death #tw: grief

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enam3l · 1 year

Note

mona i cannot get rockstar eddie and reader dancing to seals kiss from a rose outta my head man its bad

how did you read my mind! the awards show was actually based on the 1996 grammys where seal did win best song for kiss from a rose as well as bunch of other stuff!! and i kept thinking about it whilst writing the fic and never managed to include it... until now. here is a bonus just for you!

96' awards show bonus: kiss from a rose (rockstar eddie x reader) ficlet / fluff

a bonus scene for this fic

you can see all rockstar eddie x reader stories and lore at #enam3ls rockstar eddie or the masterlist! and check out my new series love, lola

There was one huge reason you were insisting on going to tonight's award show - Seal. You couldn't deny it and you didn't have to admit it thankfully because Eddie knew. He'd seen the way your eyes welled up every time 'Kiss From a Rose' came on, how you would hum or sing along under your breath and that was before you were pregnant. Since hitting the four month mark in your pregnancy, the obsession only intensified. It was played multiple times a day and Eddie didn't complain, how could he deny you of something that makes you go all cute and mushy? Plus, he'd heard it in the 'Batman Forever' movie and it was badass. After a month of hearing it endlessly and seeing your reaction, Eddie caved - he had to know what was special.

'Sweetheart...' Eddie's voice rang through the hall as he approached you in the kitchen, where you stood in his tshirt and some underwear swaying to the song.

He leant against the door frame taking in the picture, you half dressed, hair messy and making breakfast whilst dancing - it was a perfect sight. You hummed in response to the nickname, attention still mostly focused of the dulcet tones of Seal's voice.

'I gotta know... what is it about this song?'

Eddie instantly feels bad as he watches you freeze up, drop the spatula you were wielding and sees the pretty blush creep over your face. You look at the floor awkwardly, not wanting to be sucked in by his inquisitive brown eyes.

'S'embarrassing...' you mumble.

He sidles over, tucking a finger under your chin to look at him, his other hand finding yours to offer comfort.

'Come on, y/n, let me in on the secret!'

You can never refuse his cute pouty face whenever he feels left out. You sigh.

'She likes it...'

'Who?' Eddie's brow quirks up, he knows you like it - that's literally why it asks.

You look down at the bump between you.

'The baby...' you whisper.

Eddie ohs in response as your intertwined hands reach to rest on top of it. The grin on his face is adorable, she's doing it for our baby, he thinks.

'Why is that embarrassing, babe? S'cute!' Immediately he realises he's said the wrong thing as your face scrunches up and suddenly tears burst out. Shit, shit, shit, Eddie panics internally. There's no predicting with the hormones, just sometimes what he says is completely wrong and he feels awful every single time.

'Baby! What is it, what did I say?' He begs, quick to start wiping away your tears.

'She'd only move for you,' you whimper, the floodgates have opened and you try to speak between choking on sobs.

'When the doctors said soon she'd start moving at four months and she did but - but only when you were there... every time you were around, talking or touching my belly she'd respond a-and she'd never ever do it with me. But then I played the song one day and she did and you weren't there. So I kept doing it and she did it ev-every time. We dance together. She jumps around in there Eds... it's the only time she moves just for me.'

Eddie feels fucking awful. Whilst this is one of the most adorable stories he's heard, it breaks his heart knowing you'd been feeling like that and hadn't said. He can't help his own eyes prick with sympathy tears. The pair of you are sobbing messes in the middle of the kitchen.

'Y/N... I'm so sorry! I didn't realise! I'm so sorry sweetheart, you should've told me,' Eddie presses a kiss to your salty cheeks, pleased than you let him.

'Didn't want to upset you either, Eds. Like, I love how responsive she is to you but I was jealous and then finally I got to have this little thing with her. I was feeling selfish and wanted to keep it to myself,' you sniff, tears drying out finally.

'That's okay, she's your little girl. You can have it to yourselves. I don't mind!'

Sometimes it's sickening how kind and understanding Eddie is. You really married the perfect man.

'Do... do you want to see?' you ask shyly.

'Of course, I mean... are you sure? I don't want to ruin your special thing.'

You nod and replay the song. Both your hands pressed to your stomach and Eddie follows your movements as you sway. He gasps as he feels the baby begin to wiggle and bop around inside. Her little limbs pushing at the surface. He can't believe it, it's truly like she is dancing inside there. The song is replayed several times on repeat in the kitchen that morning.

So Eddie was excited himself that all three of you would now get to hear Seal singing your baby's song live. It wasn't lost on him how your dress was rose red. You knew Seal would be there because of all his nominations but you weren't certain he'd be performing. Therefore, once you'd sat in your seats and finally read the evening's programme you couldn't help the squeal you let out at seeing his name under the list of performers. Eddie nervously chuckled at your excitement, squeezing your hand, slightly terrified at what your response will be to hearing the song live.

When Seal accepts his award, you're on your feet clapping. You see Eddie's raised eyebrow and smirk.

'He deserves it!' you scowl.

Eddie can't help but notice the twinkle in your eye as you gaze at the man on stage. He nudges Gareth.

'Please tell me this guy is married or gay?' he pleads.

Gareth looks over at your beaming face and snorts.

'I hope so for your sake, man.'

Finally the moment was here, Seal was about to perform. Your tummy was full of butterflies, you felt silly for the nerves, but somehow this felt so significant. Eddie is there holding your hand. As the band kicks in, the first notes from 'Kiss For A Rose' begin to flutter through the auditorium and your grip tightens. The way your face lights up as if you were a kid on Christmas makes Eddie's heart swell. Unable to resist your cuteness, he leans over and places a chaste kiss on your bare shoulder. It doesn't take long for your baby to realise her song is on, she begins to bop and instantly both yours and Eddie's eyes fix to movement under your dress. Suddenly, Eddie has an idea. He has to make the most of this moment, it's too special. Who cares if everyone sees, you're worth everything and more?

Eddie stands, tugging you up. Your eyes widen, confused at what he's up to but the naughty grin on his face tells you everything you need to know - he's up to something. You're unable to protest, Eddie easily dragging you out of the row and into the empty aisle. He pulls you to his chest... as close as he can with the bump in the way.

You giggle, blush matching your scarlet dress. 'Eddie Munson, what the hell are you up to?' you whisper.

'Dancing, all three of us! We have to... think our little dancing bean,' and you can't say no to those pleading chocolate eyes.

Or the bouncing presence in your stomach. You nod. Eddie is quick to take your hands, clutching one and wrapping the other round his neck then putting his on your hip. Together you dance. The audience whose gaze linger at the two of you and the confused staff just blur. It's only you, Eddie, Seal and your happy bouncing little girl. Both of you look down at her, bopping around more than ever. Eddie can even feel her from your stomach being pressed to his. It's perfect.

'She's going crazy in there, hey sweetheart?' Eddie gasps.

'She's never been like this before! I think she knows she's getting her own little live show.'

Neither of you can suppress the laughter at her flailing movements.

'Jesus, babe. I don't know how you do this. Can feel her right against my stomach! She's kicking the shit out of me?'

You roll your eyes.

'I know. Why do you think I'm constantly peeing? I swear, I'd only go through this for you, Eddie Munson.'

Overwhelmed with love, the way he has been since the moment you told him you were pregnant, Eddie crushes a kiss to your lips.

'And I'll never be able to thank you enough for giving me my little wiggling princess.'

You let your head rest on Eddie's shoulder. Dancing together until the song fades away. Smiles plastered on your face at the precious moment. Both of you wondering what it'll be like to finally see your baby girl.

Eddie supposes if there's any man he has to share his girls with, Seal is worthy. He is grateful to the singer for making his wife and his baby so happy throughout the pregnancy. Also, Eddie's pretty sure he's now got the perfect middle name for your little girl - Rose.

my taglist angels: @whoahoney @lukewearingbeanies @esme-viridian @elysian-chaos @munsonology @mseddiemunson @kreepja

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eddievanhammettmunson · 1 year

Text

It’s gonna be my year

Eddie x female reader blurb

Authors note- I’m at work rn and I just thought of this so here you go my ghouls and gremlins

Warnings- fluff ig

Summary- finding someone to kiss at midnight at Steve Harringtons New Year’s Eve party

Steve Harrington. It was all his fault. He just had to have the biggest New Year’s Eve party in Hawkins. At first he told you and the gang it would be a small get together. But what was supposed to be a fun night with you, Steve, Nancy, Robin, Jonathan, Argyle, and Eddie, turned into a night with nearly all of Hawkins high occupying Steve Harrington’s house.

Now it was nearing midnight and everyone had split up leaving you alone feeling like a fish out of water. Everyone was meeting up with their dates to get ready to have a kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Nancy and Jonathan were out by the pool. Steve had found some lucky girl in the kitchen who was desperate for a kiss. And Robin and Vickie had and upstairs room all to themselves because Steve allowed them to have it.

Now that left you and argyle getting high together on the couch. Well that was until some drunk little priss looking for a hit stumbled onto his lap about 5 minutes ago. So you excuse yourself and make your way around the back of the house where you find Eddie. Smoking a cigarette and looking at the moon.

“Hey there rockstar” you say as you approach startling him a bit as he was alone.

“Hey sweetheart. Whatcha doin out here?”

“Thought I might get some fresh air.”

When you finally get close enough to Eddie he reaches out his smoking hand towards you and offers you his cigarette. You accept and take a puff. Blowing smoke out into the night sky.

“What are you doing back here Ed’s?”

“Oh you know just finished a deal and figured I’d enjoy the new year with a cigarette.”

“So instead of a midnight kiss you’re taking a midnight smoke.”

Eddie gives a hearty laugh.

“Just cause I hangout at Steve the hair Harringtons house now doesn’t mean many people are really looking to kiss the freak.”

Eddie looks down at his feet and kicks a rock around for a second avoiding your pitiful gaze.

It hurt you whenever Eddie called himself a freak. You loved him and knew him for who he was. He’d never be a freak to you.

You pass the cigarette back to him and he takes a puff.

As he takes a puff you speak so quietly and quickly that he almost misses it.

“I’d kiss you Ed’s.”

He chokes on his smoke and begins to sputter out a cough.

“That’s not funny sweetheart.”

You look up at him through your lashes and step closer.

“Wasn’t a joke Ed’s.”

In the distance you can hear the people counting down till midnight.

Eddie scans your face looking for signs of doubt

Eddie takes a drag of his cigarette and blows smoke In the other direction

Eddie throws the cigarette down on the ground

Eddie stomps the cigarette out with his shoes

Eddie looks back up at you

Eddie takes a step closer

Eddie snakes a shaky hand around your waist

Eddie brings a shaky hand up to your face

Eddie begins to lean in

Eddies lips brush over yours

Fireworks. That’s all you hear, feel and see when you kiss Eddie. As you wrap your arms around him and bring him closer. You two kiss until you’re both pulling away breathless smiling like idiots.As the two of you walked back in the house and sat on the couch hand in hand something told you both this is gonna be your year.

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queen-of-hellfire666 · 2 years

Text

This is inspired by the “10 seconds to love” song when it was played in Tulsa live. The rest I just let my fingers type

Pairing: Nikki Sixx X reader/the dirt! Nikki Sixx X reader

Warnings: language, mentions fo sex, fluff, alcohol

“You know, this sleazy man has a girlfriend yall!” Vince yells as I put my head down. “Oh fuck.” I whisper. “Good luck.” Doc pats my back.

“She’s right down stage do y’all want her to come on??!” He screams the crowd goes wild. “Y/n! Come on up here!” Nikki is laughing.

I walk up on stage with help of Vince grabbing my hand. My heels hit the stage. “Isn’t she a pretty one? Head on over to Sixx.” He winks.

I laugh walking to him. “Hi. How ya doing pretty baby?” He flirts like we haven’t met before. “Doing pretty good how about yourself stud.” He plays his Bass down low.

“Sixx! I want your girlfriend to tell you the word and this crowd wants you to get nice and sleazy tonight!!” He yells. Vince hands me the mic. I smirk. “Get sick for me boy.” He salutes me grabbing jack daniels.

Sixx takes a drink and kisses me letting the warm drink move around our mouths. I moan softly at the feeling of Nikki biting my lip and releasing letting me have the drink.

I smile as he pulls away and I swallow. He gives me the bottle. “Tommy looks thirsty does he deserve some??” Vince asks. “Down that Tommy!!” They scream one girl flashing her boobs. I laugh softly.

“Now Sixx’s girlfriend likes it down and sleazy! Let’s see how good she is at downing a bottle of jack!!”

I smile bowing as I take the Jack bottle before throwing it back chugging. I nearly choke but Nikki grabs the bottle from me gently.

He finishes off the bottle for me and kisses me softly. “I love you pretty girl.” He smiles as I hold onto him. I kiss him one last time for good luck.

“You got a show to finish then all this ass is for you.” I wink before waving to the crowd and walking off stage. “Bye future Mrs. Sixx!” I hear Vince call after me causing me to laugh.

“We all know Nikki is gonna get fucked after this!” Tommy laughs over the headset. I can feel the embarrassment pour over me.

I smile walking to the after party room. “Hey boys.” I hold up food. “Baby!” Nikki pulls me into his lap. I laugh putting the food and drinks on the table. “Thank you.”

“Hi precious.“ I pepper his face with kisses. “I missed you.” He whispers taking a fry from the box.

“Let me eat and I’ll give you what you want okay?” He lays his head on me. “I want to just hold you tonight baby. I know it might be drugs and Booze but I wanna hold you and kiss you all night long. Love making not something that’s a quick fuck”

I smile softly. “If that’s what you want.” I kiss his nose before leaning back onto his shoulder. “So, man we getting shit-face drunk tonight or what?” Tommy asks. I shake my head. “Go ahead Nik.”

“I’m good T-bone. I’m gonna get some shut eye tonight.” Tommy raises his eyebrow, Vince starting to stare with confusion and Mick? Well Mick knows how Nikki is feeling.

“Have fun Nikki.” Mick smiles before leaning back on the couch. “Cmon baby.” Nikki leads me by my hand holding it softly.

I smile as he lays on the bed motioning for me. I climb to him and he wraps his arms around me. He takes the blanket and puts it on us quickly. “Oh sweetheart.” He whispers. “Today on that stage you looked amazing.”

“I was terrified.” I whisper smiling. “Well that’s okay because I thought you looked really good and you didn’t seem terrified.” I put my head into his neck.

“Look baby girl, me and you. Forever, your not just some groupie that comes into my life and walks out.. it’s us against the world and I’ll be damned if I’ll let anything happen to you.”

I kiss his neck and nip at his collar bone flesh. “I love you Nikki.” He moves around without saying anything and gets up.

“Baby..” I look over at him. He gets on one knee. “Y/n y/m/n y/l/n. I know living the life of a rockstar with me hasn’t been the best but I want you to know that I love you and want you here every step of the way.”

He pulls out a ring my eyes tearing. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me besides the band. I was fucked up and you took care of me even though I had issues and have drug abuse problems.”

“So will you stand by my side and make me the happiest man in the world and become Mrs. Nikki Sixx?” He starts to cry. “Yes! Yes I will!” I hug him tight and kiss him. “I love you.. I love you so much.” He whispers. “I love you too.”

“I meant every word of that.” I nod. “I know sugar. I will stay by you no matter what..”

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x reader #marrying #mötley crüe #mötley crüe x reader

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the-al-chemist · 1 year

Text

When Stars Ignite Christmas Special

HPHM ROCKSTAR AU

I think the title gives this one away. @kc-needs-coffee, thank you for your insane talent, your integrity, your incredible stories (both real and fictional), your wit, your wisdom, and your warmth. Oh, and your book/film/music/coffee/travel recommendations. This one’s for you. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.

Note: This story takes place in the Rockstar AU, which as a rule, has a mature tone and subject matter. This specific chapter contains a reference to alcohol. All things considered, that is actually very tame for the Rockstar AU.

They’ve got cars big as bars, they’ve got rivers of gold, but the wind whips right through you, it’s no place for the old

When you first took my hand on that cold Christmas Eve, you promised me Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome, you were pretty

Queen of New York City

When the band finished playing, they howled out for more…

~ The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale of New York ~

The snow was no longer falling, but a thick sheet of it had settled over the park. Artemis pulled her coat tighter around her as she lit her cigarette, feeling its heat warm her as she inhaled. She blew the smoke out, but did not watch it unfurl through the air, instead paying attention to her surroundings: the tourists playing in the snow or riding in horse-drawn carriages, the thin ice layer covering the large pond and the trees dusted white with frost under the already setting sun. If it were not for the lights and the sounds of taxis and the skyscrapers behind her, she might not have known that she was in a city at all, let alone one of the greatest cities in the world.

Through the crowds of people, she made out a familiar-looking head of red hair in the distance, and a black leather-gloved hand raised to wave at her in greeting. Artemis smiled and stubbed out her cigarette before walking over to the person waving, a red-headed, blue-eyed woman dressed in a black wool coat and with a blanket-like scarf with a checked pattern reminiscent of a chessboard.

“Artemis! It’s great to see you,” said Katriona Cassiopeia, as Artemis approached her on the path.

“You too, KC,” Artemis replied. “Thanks again for inviting me.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s Christmas. The more the merrier. I’m just glad you decided to take us up on the offer.”

The offer had been this: KC and her husband Murphy McNully, Artemis’ bosses and friends, owned a flat to the west of Central Park, and had invited Artemis to stay with them over Christmas while Equinox’s stateside tour was on a short break between locations for the holidays. Considering that the first location on the next leg of the tour was New York City, KC had suggested that it may be the most logical thing to do, and for Artemis herself, it had not only saved her from spending the holidays alone, but had meant that she would be able to do something she had always longed to do: experience New York at Christmas.

“What do you think so far?” asked KC, as they strolled down a tree-lined boulevard together.

“So far, I feel like I’m in a movie. When Harry Met Sally or something.” They walked past a woman feeding pigeons, and Artemis grinned at the sight. “I’m really trying not to get my hopes up too much, though.”

“Why is that?”

“Oh, Charlie just said that I should lower my expectations. Apparently, New York wasn’t for him.”

“That’s because Charlie would rather spend Christmas in a wooden hut in the arse end of nowhere like a lumberjack,” KC rolled her eyes. “Expect away. Christmas in the city is every bit as magical as you’ve been led to believe, you’ll see. Come on.”

They walked around the edge of the pond and reached the edge of the park. KC walked towards an old lamppost, past which a plaza could be seen across the street, as if to leave. Artemis frowned.

“Are we not going to see Central Park?”

“Sure, just not right now. We’ll do that when it’s light,” KC told her. She smiled at Artemis. “Don’t worry, you won’t miss out on anything. I’ve made an itinerary.” She pulled out her phone and read aloud:

“So, tomorrow we have brunch at Sadelle’s, then shopping on Fifth and Madison, followed by Broadway in the evening. The day after that we can come back here to explore, then later I’ve got tickets to The Nutcracker at the Lincoln Centre.”

“As in the ballet?” Artemis wrinkled her nose.

“It’s festive. You’ll love it, trust me. Same goes for the Rockettes’ Christmas Spectacular, which we will be seeing after dinner tonight, and baseball, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“Look, if you’re going to be working backstage at Madison Square Gardens, you at least need to see a game there first. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Where were we?” KC returned to her phone. “Oh, yeah. On Christmas Eve, we’ll need to finish getting stuff ready, but we’ll go out in the evening, see some lights and find a bar in the Village where you can dance on the tables like you’re in the cast of Rent.”

“What’s Rent?”

KC sighed and shook her head before typing something on her phone. Artemis craned her neck to see what it was, and noticed that KC had added three words to her list of activities for Artemis’ stay:

Go see Rent.

“Okay,” said Artemis, nodding slowly. “So, that’s what we’ll be doing in the next few days. What about before dinner and the rocket thing? What’s first on the list?”

“First of all? Coffee.”

Artemis laughed. “Dirty and Irish, right?”

“Just the way I like it,” KC’s lips twitched. “And then… Well, how much do you like Christmas trees?”

Once they had coffees to warm their hands, the two of them made their way down Fifth Avenue, stopping to look at a fountain and making a quick detour to look at the illuminated, glittering shop window of Tiffany and Co. Opposite a large cathedral with a gothic frontage that did not match the buildings surrounding it, stood a complex of tall concrete buildings, their facades all lit up with bright Christmas lights.

“Wow,” said Artemis, her eyes wide. KC laughed, not unkindly.

“Oh, you’ve not seen anything yet.”

Together, they crossed the street and entered the complex via a narrow boulevard with a central row of flowerbeds lined with fairy light statues shaped like angels blowing golden horns. At the far end was an ice rink and a Christmas tree, and as they neared it, Artemis’ jaw dropped.

The Christmas tree was taller and bushier than any she had seen in her life, decorated with what looked like a million different baubles and tiny lights. Artemis stared at it in a stunned silence.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” said a voice, interrupting her awe, and Artemis stepped sideways to allow a man in a police uniform to pass her. She watched him join another policeman standing near by, and a moment later, a third joined them.

“How many of them are there?” she asked KC, as a fourth police officer entered the scene. “What are they-”

“Ladies and gentleman,” a fifth officer announced. “We are sorry to interrupt your evening. We are the New York City Police Department, and we’ve got a little surprise planned for you.” He looked around him, smiled, and began to sing:

“Start spreading the news, I’m leaving today…”

At his words, several more people, men and women, some in uniform, others not, some holding instruments, some not, all gathered in the centre of the plaza opposite the Christmas tree. With each line of the song, more instruments and voices joined the choir, including those of the crowd around them, all laughing, swaying, and filming the scene on their phones.

“I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps…”

KC leaned towards Artemis and said something that couldn’t be heard over the sound of the music.

“What?” Artemis shouted back to her.

“If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere…”

“I said,” KC repeated, also with her voice raised, “is this the sort of thing you were expecting?”

“It’s up to you…”

Artemis smiled and shook her head. “It’s better!”

“New York, New York!”

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queen-rainy-love · 1 year

Text

Holiday Dash part 5

Time for a slight angst part.

*The scene takes place after the party. The Pure Vanilla family was cleaning up the ballroom. Pure Vanilla and Cream Puff were using magic to get the plates into the kitchen, while Madeleine and Knight were washing them. Clover, White Lily, and Red Velvet were cleaning up the tables.*

Clover: Tonight was fun! I never thought this party could have a proposal tonight!

Red Velvet: I'm surprised Madeleine even did this. I thought he would have done it during New Year's Eve.

White Lily: Well, I'm just proud of him and I'm glad he'll be marrying Espresso. They were made for each other.

Red Velvet: I know Affogato will be so happy when he hears this.

Clover: At least they'll celebrate their engagement during this New Year Concert.

Red Velvet: New Year what?

Clover: Yeah. The concert where all musicians of Earthbread hold a concert until two in the morning. Shining Glitter, Cake Pop, Parfait, Rockstar, DJ, Mint Choco, B.A.D.4-

Red Velvet: *slightly freaking out* Is that so? Didn't know that.

White Lily: I can't wait for that event. I'm sure we'll all have fun. And I am interested in B.A.D. 4's performance. *looks at Red Velvet*

Red Velvet: *nervously laughs* Ha ha ha. Yup. Um...by the way, mother. We have a question for you.

White Lily: What is it?

Clover: Right! A few days ago, Cream Puff used a spell to locate family members in our family tree, and...she found two dots she's never seen before.

White Lily: Two dots?

Red Velvet: Yeah. All the way over at the Grass Village.

*At that moment, White Lily froze. Red Velvet and Clover could tell something was wrong. Her back was facing them but they could tell that her hands were shaking.*

White Lily: I'm sure it must have been Millennial Tree and Wind Archer.

Clover: We thought so too. But she did say their names and they came up. These two were the only ones left. Do we have family members we haven't met yet?

White Lily: No. We have no other family members. And none of you should go to the Grass Village.

Red Velvet: What? But why not? It's family! We should go see them. What's wrong with-

White Lily: *angry* No! None of you will go to that village! You will remain here! That village is nothing but a hellscape!

*White Lily pants heavily while Red Velvet and Clover slightly cowered. Once she saw their reaction, she looked away, her eyes filled with sorrow. She turned around and started walking away.*

White Lily: I'm sorry...I don't feel well...let your father know that I'll be in bed.

*White Lily disappeared behind the main door, leaving the two brothers alone.*

*An hour later, the siblings were gathered in the castle's library.*

Cream Puff: So...t-that's what mom said.

Knight: I never thought she would yell. She usually stays calm.

Madeleine: So what was about that little village that caused her to act like that? Clover, was this the village you grew up in? Can you tell us anything about the Grass Village?

Clover: Well...the village is pretty close to the Great Tree and they are sworn to protect it. The villagers can be friendly but there are some that are...a bit...aggressive with outsiders.

Red Velvet: So if we were-

Knight: No.

Red Velvet: You don't even-

Clover: You were thinking about going there, aren't you?

Red Velvet:...

Madeleine: If we go there, not only would we upset mother, but we'll most likely get hunted down by some of the natives there.

Red Velvet: ...so another day in our life?

Knight: We're not going!

Cream Puff: But if we don't go, we won't ever figure out who those two dots are! And we're always there for family. I want to go!

Red Velvet: Then this is our quest to complete.

Clover: Even if you guys could get there, you'll have to wait until spring to safely cross the ocean. And you'll need someone to help guide you around. Count me in.

Knight: What?! *turns to Madeleine* Madeleine! Try to talk them out of it!

Madeleine: Hmm. *looks at the trio and takes a deep breath.* As the future leader of the Vanilla Kingdom, I have to make sure my family is safe. And I do need to make sure these three are safe during their trip. So I must go with them.

Knight:...

Clover: It's four against one. You can either stay behind and face mother and father's wrath or come with us to find the last two family members. The choice is up to you.

Knight:...Fine. But only to make sure you three don't do anything completely stupid.

Madeleine: Perfect! Once winter is over, we'll start heading there. But we do need to find a reason to head there.

Clover: Let's worry about that when the time comes. For now, it's late and we should be heading to bed.

*The four siblings nodded in agreement and all five headed straight to their guest rooms.*

#cookie run kingdom #crk headcanons #madeleine cookie #red velvet cookie #clover cookie #knight cookie #cream puff cookie #pure vanilla cookie #white lily cookie #pure lily family

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andvys · 1 year

Text

We'll burn the sky | part sixteen

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of drugs and alcohol, loss of a parent, mostly fluff, a few hints at steddie x reader

Pairings: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Rockstar!Reader | slight Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader | slight Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Word count: 7k+

Chapter summary: Back on tour, you and Eddie spend more time with each other again and get a nice surprise on New Years Eve.

Author's note: thank you for the help as always @mysticmunson <3 & @aftermidnightwriting I will definitely use your amazing idea with Dustin in the arcade later on in the story!

Series Masterlist

You have dreaded this day ever since the article was released.

Going back on tour should fill you with joy and excitement but instead it fills you with dread and anxiety. Now that the truth about your dad is out, you can already imagine how awful the following weeks or even months will be. The paparazzis and journalists will be all over the place, throwing awful words and questions at you that you know will upset you even further. You are not ready for that, you don’t think that you will ever be.

You always did everything to keep the truth a secret but now it’s all out in the open.

You don’t even care about the things that they have said about you. They upset you, sure but you can ignore it and move on from that, you don’t let it get to you. Having made up stories about you comes with being in the music industry, especially since you’re the only woman in the band. Lies and rumors will always be created.

After three days of being stuck in Eddie’s trailer, you were now able to go back on the road, since the storm had passed. You loved those three days, you got along so well with Wayne, the man has earned a place in your heart. And Eddie, it was so nice to be around him like that, to fall asleep next to him only to wake up in his arms again.

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart.” He whispered to you this morning when you voiced your concern about the tour. “You have me, I won’t leave your side. We’ll get through this together, okay?”

Now you’re here, standing by the tour bus, saying goodbye to Wayne. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a warm hug.

“Look after yourself, alright kiddo?”

You chuckle, nodding at his words, “I will.”

“Don’t worry Wayne, she’s in good hands,” Eddie says from behind you.

Wayne squeezes your arms before you pull away, you see the stern look in his eyes as he stares at him, “she better be, Eds.”

On Christmas day, Wayne had confronted you about your relationship with his nephew while Eddie had gone to take a shower.

“What’s going on with you and my boy?” Wayne asked while you were sitting on the couch with drinks in your hands.

“What do you mean?” You asked nervously.

He only chuckled, eyes flickering with amusement, “I may be old but I’m not blind, kid,” he said, “I see the way you look at each other, there’s clearly something. But there’s also pain in your eyes,” he mumbled, pausing to take a deep breath, “he hurt you didn’t he?”

You looked down as your eyes flickered with sadness. You didn’t want to talk badly about Eddie or your relationship to someone that means everything to him.

“It’s alright, you can talk to me, if you want.”

You hesitated for a moment.

“I just– I really love him.”

His eyes softened at your admission, a small smile appearing on his face.

“But he never told me about Chrissy.”

He raised his eyebrows, eyes flickering with shock, he brought his hand up to his face, cupping his cheek as he stared at you, “oh boy..”

“We weren’t together or anything but we were with each other all the time, he told me about you and Steve and his other friends, he told me everything, he just never mentioned her,” you explained, “b-but it’s okay, we talked about it, he opened up to me about their relationship, I guess I understand why he never told me about her..”

Wayne sighed, sympathy crossed his face. With just a single glance at you, he saw the look in your eyes when you looked at Eddie, you are in love with him. He could only imagine how hurt and heartbroken you were.

But he can also see the way Eddie looks at you, he is in love with you.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled, “we’re okay now.”

Wayne was quiet for a moment, he stared at you deep in thought and then a smile tugged at his lips.

“I hope you know that he cares about you, a lot. I think yesterday proved it, when he stormed in like a mad man, that boy was ready to go through the storm to find you,” he paused, “you make him happy, you know? You always did. He called me a lot and all he ever talked about was you. I hope you can give him a second chance ‘cause if there’s someone who deserves it, it’s him.”

“She will always be,” Eddie smiles as he walks towards his uncle to hug him as well, “I’m gonna miss you so much, old man.”

Wayne chuckles, “you’ll see me on Saturday again.”

Eddie’s eyes light up at his words, “right, you got the VIP tickets and everything,” he chuckles, winking at you, “you can bring a date.”

Wayne scoffs, “stop that.”

You both laugh at him and his eye roll.

“I gotta go or I’ll be late for the interview,” Wayne says as he looks at his watch.

“Oh,” you say excitedly, “good luck! I just know they’re gonna hire you.”

Wayne gives you a smile and Eddie chuckles, “of course they will, I put in a good word for you. The night shifts are soon to be over.”

“Hopefully, I got my fingers crossed.”

After one more hug and one last goodbye, Wayne leaves just as Johnny, Gareth and Jeff arrive.

While the other two still look tired, Gareth is already sporting a big smile and a happy look on his face.

“Alright ladies, are we ready to rock ‘n roll again, or what?” Gareth exclaims excitedly as he walks towards the tour bus with a bag in his hand.

Jeff rolls his eyes, “how many coffees did you have this morning?”

“Just three.”

“It’s 10 am!”

“Exactly.”

You missed their banter and you missed them.

The cold morning air is crisp, much more snow is covering the ground, now it truly looks like a winter wonderland.

You put your hands in your warm pockets, looking around the empty street of Hawkins one last time, hoping to come back. The town has grown on you, something about it made you feel at home. Maybe it was just Eddie and Wayne, your new friends and the safe feeling you got from this place or maybe you just always craved a part of this, peace, safety and a family.

Eddie is watching you with a smile on his face, he knows what you are thinking. He is thinking about it too.

He never really liked this town, well, maybe it was only the people that he didn’t like but you made it more bearable, even when you only spent a few moments together in the whole week you were here. Still, the moments that you did spend together, made him happier.

Maybe one day, he can come back here with you, to stay here.

“You’re not leaving without saying goodbye, are you?”

Both you and Eddie turn around with smiles on your faces. You’ve said goodbye to everyone last night, yet most of Eddie’s and your friends are here now.

Robin is the first to approach you and wrap her arms around you.

“I’m gonna miss you so much, rockstar,” she says as she squeezes you tightly.

You smile as you hug her back, meeting Steve’s eyes, your smile widens when he waves at you.

“I’m gonna miss you too, Robin. You should come to Chicago on Saturday, Steve’s coming too.”

“Oh trust me, I’m gonna be there,” she says, grinning at you as she pulls away, “I can’t wait to see you on the big stage.”

“And what about me? Are you excited to see me?” Eddie asks her as he ruffles Dustin’s hair who slaps his hand away in annoyance.

She scrunches her face up, shrugging, “eh, not really,” she teases.

He squints his eyes at her, “you love me, Robin,” he grins.

“No, I really don’t.”

Shaking your head at them, you walk towards Steve.

“Hi,” you whisper.

“Hi,” he smiles, “you ready to go back on tour?”

You shake your head, “not really but it’s gonna be fine,” you shrug.

He nods, looking over your shoulder and at his friends, he reaches for your hand and pulls you away, leading you behind the tour bus.

He blushes as he runs his fingers through his hair, letting go of your hand, he reaches into the pocket of his coat, “I uh– I got you something.”

You raise your eyebrows, eyes flashing with curiosity.

“I got it a few days ago, before the whole thing at the trailer,” he says quietly, “I know we already exchanged presents and all but I wanted to wait with this.”

“Why?”

He shrugs as he scratches the back of his neck.

Your eyes soften as he hands you the little box, you glance into his eyes before you look down at the present, you open it to find a pretty necklace, a pendant with a bird on it, it’s wings are open. It’s beautiful. You touch it with your fingertips, a soft smile appearing on your face.

“Birds stand for freedom, you know?”

You pick the necklace out of the box and look up at him, smiling, “yeah?”

He nods. “You’re free too, just remember that you can do anything you want, you can always dream bigger, you can go wherever you want, it’s your life, you get to choose what will happen.”

Your chest warms at his words.

“You’re cute, you know that right?” You chuckle.

He shrugs, jutting his lip out as he smirks, “yeah, yeah. I know.”

You can see the blush on his cheeks, the nervous look in his eyes.

“I love it, Steve.”

“You do?” He asks as his eyes lighten up.

You nod, “it’s beautiful, thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” he smiles.

“Help me put it on?” You ask as you hold the necklace out to him. He whispers a small ‘of course’ as he takes it from your hand. You turn around, standing with your back towards him. You move your hair to the side as he moves his arms around you, placing the silver necklace around your neck.

“That better be my lucky charm now,” you joke as you look down at the necklace with a smile on your face. You turn around to face him again.

“It will be,” he winks.

“I’m gonna miss you, Steve.”

His gaze softens at your words.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” he whispers as he opens his arms for you. You step towards him, falling into his embrace, you lay your head on his chest and wrap your arms around him. He holds you tightly and closes his eyes.

He finds himself wishing that he didn’t have to say goodbye. You have grown so much on him, you became a part of his life.

“Maybe I should put you in my suitcase and take you with me,” you joke as you pull away from him.

“I don’t think I’ll fit in there, honey,” he laughs, eyes twinkling as they lock with yours, “you can still hire me as your stylist,” he jokes as he puts his hand on your back, leading you back to the others.

“Yeah, maybe I should,” you chuckle.

“You better come back to Hawkins again, y/n,” Dustin says as he walks towards you with a grin on his face, “we didn’t even get to go to the arcade together!” He frowns.

“Next time, alright?” You smile as you pull the younger boy into a hug, “I’m gonna come visit after the tour and we can go to the arcade together.”

“We better!”

You hug Lucas and Max next, squeezing both of them tightly before you press a kiss to their cheeks, almost bursting into laughter when they turn towards each other with wide eyes and excited looks on their faces. They squeal when you turn away from them, missing the amused look on Robin’s face as she stares at them.

Eddie pulls away from Steve’s hug, saying something to him that you can’t make out. His brown eyes meet yours and he smiles, “ready?”

You nod.

Eddie waits for you to get on the tour bus first but you turn towards Steve one more time. He raises his brows, a smile tugging at his lips as you approach him one more time. Reaching your hands out, you cup his cheeks and stand on your tippy toes, pulling him towards you, you kiss his cheek, leaving a lipstick mark on his skin.

Robin and Dustin chuckle in the back, their laughter only getting louder when they see Eddie’s eye roll.

Steve chuckles as well, blushing at your sweet action.

He cups your cheeks now, giving you a big kiss on the cheek too, just barely missing your lips.

“Alright,” Eddie rolls his eyes, shaking his head, “let’s go, sweetheart.”

You and Steve giggle at each other, he ruffles your hair, “take care of yourself, yeah?”

“I will.”

“I’m always one phone call away,” he whispers.

“I know,” you smile as you squeeze his hand before you step away.

“Goodbye Stevie.”

His eyes flash with bittersweet sadness, though he will see you in a week again, he knows things will be different. This is a different goodbye.

You pick out the necklace from beneath your shirt, reaching for the pendant, you give it a kiss.

“Goodbye Stevie.”

He smiles at your action, eyes following you as you step on the tour bus, his smile falls a little.

“Goodbye honey,” he whispers.

Eddie watches him closely, their conversation is still deep on his mind.

Both men look at each other, a mutual understanding flashing in their eyes.

“Take care of her.”

Eddie nods, “of course.”

“You know, I missed this.”

“Hotel rooms?”

Eddie chuckles, stealing a fry off your plate, he dips it in ketchup before eating it, “hotel rooms with you.”

You smile, watching as he licks his lips, missing the ketchup on the corner of his mouth. You reach your hand out towards his face, wiping the condiment off, you look into each other’s eyes as you bring your thumb back to your lips, licking it clean.

A blush takes over his face and he looks down with a smile on his face.

“I missed it too.”

“Yeah? You did?”

You nod, humming at his question.

Neither of you want to think of the few lonely nights you spent without each other after the night in Cincinnati. It feels wrong to even think of the moments you weren’t with each other.

Eddie can look at you with the same happiness in his eyes as before everything. You are here with him, wearing his shirt again. Your hair is still wet from the shower you took earlier, the necklace that Steve got you, hanging around your neck.

The first day back on tour was mostly spent on the tour bus and the hotel. Rob, your tour manager won’t be here until tomorrow morning.

The following days you will be busy with interviews and photoshoots before the concert on Saturday. Eddie isn’t sure if you are ready for it but he will be by your side, every step of the way.

“What’re you thinking about?” You ask as you push your half eaten plate of food away from you, reaching for your coke, you take a sip before placing it back on the tray.

“How do you know I’m thinking about something?” He asks as he eats the rest of his burger.

“You always have that look in your eyes,” you explain, eyes flashing with amusement, “and you’re a nervous eater, you always scarf down the food when you’re deep in thought, which you just did,” you chuckle.

He furrows his brows, chewing his food slowly, he tilts his head.

He steals your coke, drinking half of it which you don’t even seem to mind. You’ll share everything with him.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“Huh, I never realized,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his neck, “I guess you’re right. I’m always reaching for snacks when I feel stressed but then again, I always think about food.”

“A real taurus,” you chuckle.

He laughs but nods in agreement.

“So… what were you thinking about?” You ask again.

He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, “I don’t wanna ruin the mood right now.”

Eying the concern on his face and the uncertainty in his eyes, you already know what this is about.

“It’s about the article isn’t it?” You ask.

He sighs, nodding.

“What about it?”

“I-I just, I’m worried about you,” he says as he scoots closer to you, reaching his hand out, he grabs it and places it in his, “the journalists, the press… the fucking paparazzis will be everywhere, it’s gonna be brutal, sweetheart.”

Yes, they will be but you will be fine, you have to be.

“It’s okay, Eddie,” you whisper, “I’m not gonna cry, break down or get angry at them, I won’t give them that satisfaction. They asked about my dad before, remember?”

He nods. He remembers that interview, the way you tensed up and looked like you were actually on the verge of a breakdown.

“It was just a rumor, back then no one even knew anything about it,” you shrug, “this can be treated like a rumor as well, some asshole ‘made’ that shit up about my dad. Once they see that it has no effect on me, they’ll leave me alone. There’s no proof, no one was there that night, no one except for me.”

His eyes flash with sadness at the mention of that night. You opened up more about that night, telling him about what you came home to.

“They talked shit about me before, remember that one article they wrote about me?”

He nods, rolling his eyes in anger.

He was so focused on you, he didn’t think about how it would affect him. His first priority is you. He wants to protect you, be there for you and take care of you. But he also knows that the following weeks or even months will be a challenge for him as well, he will deal with anger, too much of it. Anger for all the people that try to harm you in any way.

“Then it’s nothing new,” you shrug, trying to play it cool, “sure, it’ll be a lot and I can already hear the disrespectful questions from all those asshole journalists and paparazzis but fuck it, you either ignore them or you… take it easy.”

“Take it easy?” He scoffs, “how am I supposed to take it easy when they’ll attack you?”

“Eddie, they won’t attack me,” you sigh.

Your gaze softens, your heart flutters in his chest as you look into his eyes. He cares so much about you, it’s something you never realized before Christmas.

“Something that I learned is, you gotta act like you don’t give a fuck about anything, you gotta shrug things off, play it cool, throw sarcastic comments at them, maybe mean ones too, anything to make them leave you alone. My dad taught me that, it always worked out for him. Once they realize that they can’t use a single fucking thing against you, they will get bored.”

Eddie blinks as he stares at you.

“That’s what I’m gonna do and it’s what I want you to do. It’s about taking care of yourself, protecting yourself, Eddie.”

You are strong, so much stronger than him. You allowed yourself to grieve, you allowed yourself to break down and cry and for a moment you were broken, maybe you still are but you got up again.

“Don’t let them see how broken you are, it’s what they want. You put on a mask in front of these fuckers and you only take it off in front of people who truly care about you. You can cry and be angry but not in front of people who wanna see that.”

Eddie remembers the way you put that mask on, after you had just found out about Chrissy, your heart broke, you were angry and sad and yet you managed to hide those feelings in front of strangers. No matter how hurt you were, you were always able to hide it.

“And honestly? I’m more concerned about who spilled.”

“Who knew about your dad?” Eddie asks, furrowing his brows.

You look down, staring at his hand, you play with the new rings on his fingers, the ones that you got for him.

“Sam, Rob and my mom. That’s all, I didn’t even tell my friends,” you mumble, “it obviously wasn’t Sam or Rob, so I guess that just leaves my mom.”

There is something you are not telling him, he can see it on your face and he can hear it in your voice. The room falls silent, the candle light flickers. Eddie rubs circles into your skin, staring at you with curiosity in his eyes.

“Who else knew?”

You hesitate. Your eyes meet his again.

“Sweetheart–”

“Chrissy and Jason knew.”

He draws back a little as his eyes widen, his lips parting in shock.

“W-What?”

You take a deep breath.

“Yeah uh– that night at the hideout, Chrissy followed me out to talk, then Steve and Jason followed us out as well. She just dropped that on me, in front of Steve too, I didn’t want anyone to know, Eddie. At first, I didn’t know how they found out but I kinda figured that my mom told them.”

“What the fuck,” Eddie mumbles as his eyes flash with anger.

“She is the only one who could’ve told them,” you frown, “I called her, she was weird, weirder than usual so… and I honestly don’t think that it was Chrissy, if anything it was her sleazeball boyfriend and her bitchy mom.”

“You don’t think it was Chrissy?” Eddie asks with a confused look on his face, “she had it out for you.”

You sigh, shaking your head, “I talked to her the night before Christmas Eve, I was at the diner and she was there too..”

“Jesus,” he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, he clenches his jaw, eying you in concern. He can already imagine what kind of things she has said to you, “did she–”

“She was.. nice,” you mumble, “we talked normally. I don’t think it was her, I have a feeling that it wasn’t.”

Eddie is still suspicious but he doesn’t say anything.

“Her mom is religious, right?”

Eddie nods, “yeah, Jason too,” he rolls his eyes.

You chuckle, shaking your head, “trust me, it was them. I don’t know why they would care and I have no fucking clue how they found my mom but they must have given her a lot of money.”

“Wait what?”

“Oh, all she cares about is money, Eddie. You pay her a good amount and she’ll tell you anything you wanna know.”

Eddie raises his brows, a sigh leaving his lips as he shakes his head. He squeezes your hand, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I-I just wanna move on from this, you know?”

He nods.

“Okay,” he whispers, “but why didn’t you tell me about Jason and Chrissy’s mom?”

“I didn’t want you to get into a fight with that asshole, it’s whatever. In the end it doesn’t even matter who sold that fucking story, it won’t be the first scandalous article, there will be many more.”

He would have definitely gotten into a fight with Jason and cuss the old Cunningham witch out, god knows how many times he had done it before when she would comment on Chrissy’s weight, not only was she horrible to her own daughter, now she also managed to find a way to hurt you, you who had absolutely nothing to do with her.

“I wanna beat his face in and put nair in her shampoo,” he grumbles as his eyes darken.

Eddie was always protective of the people he loves, of his friends and family but he had never felt this kind of protective before.

You snort at his words.

“I’m serious!”

“Okay,” you giggle, “that witch is gonna lose her hair at some point, karma will get her. Same with Jason, he’ll get what he deserves.”

“But still, I wanna hurt him.”

“You already did.”

“That punch wasn’t enough.”

“I’m sure an asshole like him will get many more punches in his lifetime.”

“He better.”

Sighing, you let go of his hand, taking the food tray, you place it on the ground before you lay down, placing your feet on the soft cushions and your hand on your stomach.

Eddie looks at you, smile tugging at his lips.

You reach for the necklace beneath your shirt and curiosity sparks inside of him.

He lays down next to you, placing his elbow on the soft pillow, he cups his cheek as he stares down at you.

“Can I ask you something?”

You turn to look at him, rolling over on your side so you can face him.

“How do you really feel about Steve?” He asks, “I-I’m not angry or jealous, just curious. I can tell that he means something to you,” he says, reaching for the necklace he got you.

You hold your finger to your lips as you think about his questions.

Eddie waits patiently.

“Why are you asking me this?”

“I just, I see the way you’re around him,” he explains, “you’re comfortable with him, it’s different than with others, even your friends.”

“I just really like him. He is kind of amazing.”

“Kind of?” He smiles.

“Very amazing,” you chuckle, rolling your eyes, “you’re still my favorite.”

His smile widens, heart skipping a beat. You put your hand on his arm, squeezing it.

“But how do you feel about him, Eddie?”

He draws his brows together as he gives you a questioning look. It makes you giggle. You were surprised about the kiss they had shared that one night, it didn’t exactly seem like it was their first kiss.

“How many times have you kissed him before?”

“Oh,” Eddie breathes, chuckling. His cheeks grow red.

“Or did you do…. more?”

He shakes his head, “no, sweetheart. It was just a few kisses.”

“A few kisses?” You chuckle.

He nods as his eyes fall on the necklace that he is still holding between his fingers, he scoots closer to you.

“Yeah, a few drunken kisses,” he snorts.

“That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

“You never wanted to go further than that?”

“I mean, back then I did,” he admits shyly.

“Oh my god,” you exclaim, your eyes flash with excitement at this new revelation, you push him back and place your hands on his chest, “tell me everything.”

He laughs at your curiosity, not wasting a moment to put his hands on your back.

“I was kinda into him but wasn’t sure if he’d be open for more than just a few kisses, you know?”

You nod.

“So I never tried,” he shrugs, “and then Chrissy asked me out so I never really thought about it again.”

“Oh,” you pout.

He chuckles, placing his hand under your chin, “what’s that pout for, sweetheart?”

“I think you and Steve would’ve been cute together,” you say, giggling.

“Shut up,” he laughs, rolling his eyes at you.

“You know who would be cute together?”

You shake your head, placing your chin on his chest, you brush your fingers through his curls, making him smile.

“You and I, we’d be cute together,” he smiles. His eyes are soft, filled with nothing but adoration and love.

Warmth rushes through your chest a smile tugs at your lips but you pretend to be skeptical, “hmm… you really think so?”

He playfully glares at you, “of course!”

“But I wouldn’t stand a chance if you were dating Steve,” you say, pretending to be jealous.

He almost laughs, shaking his head at you.

“Baby, we’re both obsessed with you,” he chuckles as he digs his fingers into your sides, tickling you.

“Eddie!” You laugh, pushing his hands away.

“If I was dating Steve and you came along, we’d both fall for you and just date you both.”

Your lips part in surprise, your eyes widen, “oh?”

He chuckles at the expression on your face.

“And what if I didn’t want to have two boyfriends?”

“But we’d treat you like a queen. You’d be the happiest girl in the world.”

You chuckle, blushing at his words.

“Hmm, maybe two boyfriends aren’t too bad,” you whisper, “should we call Steve?”

“No!”

You giggle when he wraps his arms around you and flips you over.

“No? I thought I could have two boyfriends.”

“I never said that,” he points out, giving you a stern look, “that would’ve happened if I dated Steve in the past. You are the only one that I need and I’m the only one that you need.”

Your heart flutters and so does his when you cup his cheek.

“You do have a soft spot for Steve though,” you whisper.

It’s the truth. Out of all his friends, Steve was always his closest one, even though there’s people in his life that he had known much longer. Steve was different, you found a place in his heart. Eddie hated to admit it but he did.

He was sick with jealousy when you had been with him but he always felt relieved that it wasn’t another man. It was just Steve. He always trusted him and he knew that you were safe with him.

“As do you.”

Yes.

Maybe the both of you have a bit of a soft spot for the handsome dork, he grew on you and a part of you hated the thought of him being all alone again. A part of you feels guilty, you gave him something, only to take it away again.

“I feel like an asshole.”

“What?”

His eyes are filled with guilt as he looks up at the ceiling.

“The night at the trailer, Steve and I got into a fight… kinda.”

“What? Why?”

“He admitted that he likes you. I asked him if he loves you but he didn’t say anything. He looked pretty upset about the fact that you like.. me.”

You talked about this with Steve. He told you that he has no feelings for you, that it was nothing but an attachment he had formed.

“I got angry and we started saying stuff to each other, then it all led to that moment.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, “I feel bad, I-I didn’t want to accept that he may have feelings for you, I was scared that I would lose you because of it but when he gave you that necklace, I felt bad for him.”

Your eyes soften and you frown at his words, “w-why?”

“Because he didn’t want to let you go and yeah, maybe it’s just a friend not wanting to let go of someone that means the world to them and I know what it’s like to watch you leave, I know what he feels like. Losing you is the most painful thing, sweetheart.”

“I don’t ever wanna lose you,” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your knuckles, “even if you decide to leave me in the end, I will never leave you, no matter what.”

Tears well up in your eyes.

Eddie doesn’t understand what weight his words hold. He doesn’t know that this small moment, these simple words might have saved you.

You know that he will stand by your side.

And as long as you have him, you know that you will be alright.

Cruel words and weird stares were expected when you left the hotel the next day, you successfully managed to ignore them though. You don’t let these things get to you. You’ve become an expert at building walls up around you, ones that no one can tear down, least of all strangers who have no relations to you.

You make it through the interview, you manage to get through the photoshooting and even the talk show that the band has been invited to.

The journalists weren’t the nicest people to deal with, they of course used the article as an excuse to ask you questions that you have felt uncomfortable to answer but as you have told Eddie, you put on a fake smile and acted as though it had absolutely no effect on you.

You noticed the concerned glances of your friends, Jeff asked you how you were doing multiple times, Gareth tried to lighten your mood while Rob and Johnny tried to distract you by talking about the upcoming concert.

Eddie held your hand through it all, comforting you with his touches and encouraging smiles.

You appreciate them but most of all him.

You tried to think of anything but the mess that you had gotten in, which was quite the challenge considering that people brought it up, constantly.

Friday rolled around and you were happy to be back on stage for rehearsals. You haven’t sung since the night at the hideout and you missed it.

You and Eddie tried to keep your touches to a minimum but it was difficult to do so, you just couldn’t stay away from him and neither could he. It was nice to hold his hand again and sing with him.

You have gotten to the venue in the morning, a few hours have passed since then and you have decided to take a break.

With a cup of coffee in your hand, you sit down on the ground and flip through the pages in your notebook.

The guys went out to eat, you didn’t feel like leaving the venue, not when you know that there’s a bunch of people waiting out there for you. Eddie had wanted to stay back but you know that he hasn’t eaten anything since last night so you had to convince him to get food with the others.

He only begrudgingly agreed, not wanting to leave you alone but eventually he caved, especially when his stomach grumbled. He promised to get you something as well before he left.

You hear heavy footsteps and a loud sigh, you don’t have to look behind you to see who it is.

“What’re you doing, kid?” Rob asks as he sits down across from you, a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in his other.

“Just going through a new song text that I wrote.”

“Oh, you wrote a new one?” He asks with a smile on his face.

“Yes, started working on it a while back, do you wanna read it?”

“Sure.”

You turn your notebook around and slide it towards him. “I thought that this could be on the next album.”

He raises his brow and smiles, “next album, huh?”

You nod, “yeah, I mean I hope we can make one.”

“With the way things are going, I can’t see why not,” he shrugs before he breaks eye contact, placing his mug on the floor, he reaches for the notebook. Placing his cigarette between his lips, he squints his eyes as he starts to read.

You shake your head at the expression on his face, that man refuses to get himself some reading glasses.

You take a sip of your warm coffee and look around the empty room, the one that will be filled with thousands of people tomorrow night.

“Sounds angry,” he chuckles, “and very emotional.”

“I was very angry and emotional,” you nod, laughing.

“I can tell.”

“Whenever I’m angry or sad, I get inspired…. Is that weird?”

He smiles as he shakes his head slowly, “no, kid. It’s not weird, it’s your way of dealing with it. Which is good because at least there’s a great outcome from it. Other’s turn to other things when they are in pain.”

You swallow, nodding at his words.

“Yeah, drugs, alcohol and sex.”

His eyes widen as he nods in agreement, “that’s right. I’ve been there myself, it’s not good. It feels good in the moment but you always come back from it, you sober up and when you do, you feel like absolute shit so you drown yourself in it again and again. You don’t want to but you do, despite knowing how fucking awful it is. You want to stop but the moment you’re in it, it just seems impossible and the longer you do it, you get more and more lost.”

“Yeah,” you breathe, nodding, “you lose your way out.”

“You really do. That’s why you should never even start with it because the moment you do, all those fuckers out there,” he says, pointing into a random direction, his cigarette still between his fingers, “the ones who are waiting for your downfall, they all fucking win. Everything they said about you, becomes true and you don’t want that. You gotta do what’s best for you, you gotta be better and stronger than them.”

“But what if you realize that you are not strong?”

“Then you gotta find that strength, you look for the light and hold on to that. Don’t succumb to darkness.”

Rob’s words echo in your mind for the rest of the day, playing on repeat.

You found your light and you will hold onto that, no matter what.

“Are you ready?” Gareth grins at you, wiggling his brows.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” you chuckle, giving him a confused look, “why are you acting so suspicious?”

“Me, suspicious?” He gasps, shaking his head, “why would I act suspicious?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

You look behind his shoulder, smiling at Steve who looks away from Eddie, his eyes lock with yours and he smiles.

Robin is watching the opening act with a look of awe in her eyes, Wayne next to her.

The backstage crew is rushing around, preparing for your concert.

“Can you believe that all these people came here for you?”

You furrow your brows, laughing, “they came for us,” you mumble.

“No, they came for you.��

He looks behind you with a smirk on his face. You’re just about to turn around to see what he is looking at when a pair of hands cover your eyes.

“Guess who.”

You gasp at the sound of her voice, almost squealing in excitement, you grab her hands and turn around.

“Jamie?” You exclaim as you meet the eyes of your best friend.

She grins at you, happiness flashing in her eyes, she pulls you into a tight hug.

“I missed you so much.”

You close your eyes, blinking away the happy tears, you squeeze her tightly.

“I missed you too, Jaims.”

“Alright, move over, Jamie. It’s my time.”

Your eyes snap open and you just now notice the other two girls. Frankie and Wren rush towards you with excited squeals. They both wrap their arms around you, pulling you into a group hug.

You giggle as Frankie presses her lips to your cheek, “I missed you so much, babe!”

“How?” You ask as you look at your friends in surprise.

Jeff comes up behind Wren, pulling your friend into his arms, “we thought you could use some time with your friends,” he grins at you.

“Wait,” you look at him with a smile on your face before you turn to Gareth, “you guys planned this?”

“It was Eddie’s idea,” he shrugs, “I almost blurted it out the other day though.”

Your gaze softens, heart warming. You turn around, looking at Eddie who is already staring at you with a smile on his face.

‘Thank you,’ you mouth to him.

“Of course, you can never keep your mouth shut,” Jamie snorts at him.

“Hey! I did keep my mouth shut!”

You shake your head, turning back to your friends, you stare at them for a moment. It’s been months since you had last seen them. Wren’s hair is longer than it was before, a happy smile is lingering on her face as she hugs Jeff.

“How are you guys?”

“Oh, Wren and I are fine,” Jamie says to you before she looks at Frankie who has that flicker in her eyes, “this one though, crazy in love.”

Your eyes widen, you look her up and down, not only is she blushing like crazy, there’s also something on her hand that you haven’t seen before.

“I-Is that an engagement ring?” You gape at her, reaching for her hand to stare at it.

“Yes,” she squeals.

“Wow, I– where’s this coming from?” You laugh, eying the beautiful ring, “who’s that lucky guy?”

She opens her mouth to speak but is quickly cut off by Wren, “before she rambles your ear off, his name is Thomas, he is rich and crazy obsessed with her.”

“And he has a yacht!” Frankie exclaims with a happy smile on her face.

You pull her into another hug, “congrats, you always wanted a yacht,” you giggle.

“Hi guys.”

For a moment, your friends all fall silent at the sound of Eddie’s voice, it almost makes you nervous that they know about what happened. You didn’t tell them, you didn’t want to, especially not over the phone.

Eddie places his hand on your back, waving at them awkwardly.

They all greet him after a moment, giving him small smiles. It makes you relax a little but then they lay their eyes on Steve, who stands on the other side of you.

You introduce them to him, your friends eye him in curiosity, you can already hear the questions coming the moment they get you alone again.

They share teasing grins when they notice how both men look at you. Their grins only get bigger when you call Steve ‘Stevie’.

Jeff excuses himself, pulling Wren along with him. You smirk to yourself when you see them walking into one of the backstage rooms.

Gareth walks off as well as he mumbles something under his breath, leaving you standing here with two men on both your sides and your very curious best friends.

Jamie falls into a conversation with Eddie and Steve but quickly finds something more entertaining behind you, you follow her gaze. Robin.

She is staring at Robin.

A mischievous smile appears on your face, the blush on her face deepens when Robin turns around, meeting your friend’s eyes. Jamie was the one who teased you the most when she found out about your feelings for Eddie, you will enjoy this.

“So which one of them are you dating right now?” Frankie whispers into your ear after pulling you away from the group.

“W-What?” You chuckle.

She grins, playing with her red hair as she leans closer to you, “are you dating both?” She asks, “I know you always loved those love triangle books.”

“Oh my god,” you groan.

She turns to look at them, catching the look on Steve’s face as he stares at Eddie.

“Oh uh, babes, I think he has a crush on your man.”

You follow her gaze to see Steve nodding along to Eddie’s words, smiling at him.

You almost burst into laughter.

“Wait no–” she cuts herself off, Steve looks at you for a brief moment, “wait…”

“What?” You chuckle.

Her eyes are squinted, she looks at them and then at you, eyes moving back and forth, “did you…” Her eyes widen and she gasps before she even finishes her questions, before you even say anything, “you did, didn’t you!”

“Did what?” You laugh, acting clueless but the flustered look on your face and the nervous smile gives it away.

“You know what,” she wiggles her brows.

“No…” You say in a hushed whisper, hoping that no one can hear you or see the look on your face, “we didn’t–”

“Yes you did, you naughty girl,” she smirks.

“I-It wasn’t, we didn’t.. not actually,” you stutter, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms over your chest.

“Not actually?” She asks with wide eyes, “but you did something.”

“It was just… a little something.” Not an actual threesome, you think to yourself.

“A little something, huh?” She grins.

Shaking your head, you roll your eyes playfully.

“Nothing too crazy.”

“How did that even happen?” She gasps, giggling like a schoolgirl, “I thought you and Eddie were dating all this time.”

“We weren’t– aren’t dating.”

She draws back, scrunching her face up, “you’re kidding right?”

You shake your head, “nope.”

“I’m not buying that, that man,” she points to Eddie who turns to look at you with a smile on his face, “he is head over heels for you.” And then her eyes fall on Steve, “and that one too…. maybe, I’m not sure yet.”

You shake your head, sighing.

“Who’s head over heels for who?” Wren whispers in your ear as she sneaks up behind you.

“Eddie and his boyfriend.”

Wren giggles and you roll your eyes with a smile on your face.

“Oh my god,” Wren laughs, “look at you, you became a rockstar and got yourself two boyfriends, have you adopted any kids yet?” She jokes.

You chuckle, “should I?”

“Yeah, you should make them both daddies.”

“Jesus Christ…” you groan.

“Who’s gonna be your new year’s kiss tonight? Which one is getting the first smooch?”

They both giggle at the flustered expression on your face, teasing you with their eyes when both men walk up to you again, standing on both sides of you like before.

“You ready to go on stage, sweetheart?” Eddie smiles excitedly as he reaches for your hand.

You nod, ignoring the giggles of your friends.

“Good luck, honey.”

They whisper behind your back, mimicking their pet names for you before they giggle again.

You already know, their teasing will be never ending and this night will be a long one.

@littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @mysticmunson @aftermidnightwriting @sherrylyn628 @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @yearwalker96 @eddiemyloveee

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