#going absolutely insane this afternoon boys. going feral !

[palismet]

he would sacrifice himself for them. listen to me. listen to me, he would, he did, and even still he would give everything. he would choose to give everything.

do you understand what i'm saying? he would choose.

everything he has ever lived for has been chosen for him. a guiding light to live by, a glowing halo of rightness that was always out of reach. never crowned, but close. always having to earn and work and prove to be there. to have the the right to it.

with the others? he's - he doesn't have to. for the first time, he doesn't have to work for their care, their attention. he can just be. he can be whatever he wants. do you realize how insane that must feel for him.

what do you mean you don't want me as a tool. i can do things, i can give you things, i have worked my whole life to be the sharp edge of a blade and you want me to be soft? you want me to be whatever i am, however i come? how does that make any sense?

to never have that, and now do, so fast and so decisive it must feel like leaving something integral behind you for it? here, in it, almost a near-thing, like dusk, like dawn, the cusp of everything new?

of course he'd give them everything he has. they'd do the same for him. and what do you do, with that, other than do it first? to grasp the chance with both hands and say thank you for finding me?

#it's about being a thing made for loyalty and then having no fealty to pledge. about having others see you and go - #but what are you? who are you beneath that; beyond that? what do you want to be? #and to have no answer. but to be comforted; even still; that you have time. that they will go with you. #going absolutely insane this afternoon boys. going feral ! #hunter toh #the owl house #the owl house analysis #toh analysis #i think ab zeno's quote all the time. all the time it means sooo much to me. big brain move

[gooeyringtown]

cowboy barbie au headcanons

shoutout to @snowangeldotmp3 for building this wonderful imaginary world and being absolutely feral with me for cowboy barbie

+ a special thanks to @kjarlmarx for listening to me blab on and on <33

happy valentine’s day!! ☺️enjoy xo

barbie is from a super small town & her family owns a ranch that she’s set to inherit

she grows up and starts working as a farmhand

her best friends are ken & emma

ken works alongside her, mainly in training and caring for the horses (duh) whereas emma works as a tattoo artist at a parlor in town, though occasionally she does help barbie on weekends with some harvesting or repairs/construction if an extra hand is needed

gloria would be from the city definitely. like queens or something; city girl and very artsy and grounded

she’s introduced because emma tries a semester of art school in new york before deciding it isn’t for her, and it’s through one of her classes that she meets gloria

she invites gloria to her hometown for a couple of weeks in the summer

gloria is immediately smitten with barbie

barbie is INSANELY charming and attractive

she’s tall (5’10 is her canon height in my head in every universe, idc idc), strong, lean, tan, with the softest skin and prettiest hair and eyes

she speaks confidently and her smile is dazzling and swoon-worthy and her voice has this little drawl in it and it all makes her SUCH a heartthrob

not to mention the fact that she’s so polite and such a gentlewoman, doing things like always holding/opening the door, helping to carry others’ groceries (especially the town elders), saying good morning/afternoon/evening to anyone passing by while she walks (and if she’s wearing her cowboy hat, she does that thing where she takes it off or tips it, out of courtesy)

she offers her hand to hold while going down the steps or anything steep around the ranch, as well as pulling the chair out for gloria at dinner, whether it be at barbie’s house or emma’s or ken’s or some restaurant or diner

^ these two things she seems to only do with gloria, though, which has ken and emma definitely giving each other the side eye

the town’s kids adore barbie, and she’s amazing with them. she carries around little stickers or stamps or cool rocks she finds to hand to them, depending on what she knows they collect

also barbie has rock hard abs that gloria literally wants to drool over

barbie calling gloria “city girl” and “little lady”

always in that teasing way, with her accent and that damn smile

emma learning about stick and pokes in art school, which she thinks are so cool because you don’t need much for them and she can totally do them

barbie letting emma practice on her

barbie having a couple of scattered stick and pokes on the muscles of her thighs, as a result of this

barbie, ken, emma and gloria as well as a couple of other friends from town having game nights where they play card games like poker, blackjack, texas hold em, etc.

gloria not understanding at all (real)

barbie teaching her

them sharing a seat and sitting reallyyyyy close + sharing cards so barbie can explain as they go

everyone being like 👀

barbie also teaching gloria how to ride a horse

gloria having her artistic talent recognized and townshop owners commissioning her to paint murals on the side of their buildings

barbie always being in absolute awe of gloria and her work, but even more so when she sees the first mural gloria completes

barbie asking for her parents’ help in preparing gloria’s favorite as a celebratory dinner and also buying gloria a plush of her favorite animal, a card with all their friends’ signatures, a bunch of gloria’s favorite candy/snacks, balloons, a handpicked bouquet from the garden, oh boy it just goes on

gloria’s heart literally skipping like 5 beats at all the effort barbie put in, as well as the fact that barbie gives her the biggest hug and sweeps her off her feet while telling her how proud she is of her, with the biggest smile on her face and her eyes so bright and sparkly and glossy and ohmygoddddd

barbie definitely being a beer or whisky girl

like beer at home but whisky when they go out to the town’s pool hall

gloria being really good at pool and barbie being like hell yeah that’s my city girl!!!

the townspeople referring to barbie as “your cowboy” when speaking to gloria

gloria blushing hard asf and being like “oh no, we’re not—”

barbie butting in at that exact moment from across the pool hall like “gloria look!!” while doing some stupid stunt with ken, all in the name of impressing gloria

(that one was a liv specialty hehe @snowangeldotmp3 !!)

barbie loving the farm animals more than anything and always finding the time to care for them

gloria noticing this and thinking it’s the cutest thing

gloria also noticing a large scar barbie has, running from the line of her abdomen around her side; she doesn’t bring it up though

they dance around each other for the longest time omggg, mainly because gloria thinks barbie is so irresistibly charismatic and appealing that she has tons of people lining up for a chance with her, and gloria has no shot

meanwhile barbie thinks gloria is the most talented and wonderful person she’s ever met, but she believes gloria’s ambitions and how far she will go in life is way bigger and greater than what barbie could offer her right now

they’re so stupid

they never say it out loud (how into each other they are) but at the same time they never pursue anyone else and they do things that are unmistakably more than just friendly

plus everyone can see their chemistry and attraction & it’s so obvious

barbie probably having a record collection she’s really proud of and wanting to show them to gloria

barbie being a fumbling nervous mess scrambling to toss things aside and tidy up as gloria walks into her bedroom for the first time

barbie being like “s-sorry about the mess!” and wiping her hands on her denim jeans awkwardly. saying some endearing thing like “i’m not used to having girls in here… especially such pretty ones.”

gloria, at that exact moment, spotting a vintage playboy magazine on barbie’s bed sdjsksmd

her picking it up and holding it up to barbie being like “you sure about that?”

barbie going bright red, the most gloria has ever seen on a person, before she snatches it away and shoves it under her bed

(with the rest of her stash LMAO)

barbie eventually telling gloria the story of her scar, which is that when she was young, a lot of the older kids/boys had these amateur gangs and rivalries and all that, where barbie unwittingly got mixed up in some brawl and ended up getting stabbed

she spent a lot of time at home while she recovered, and it was there that she discovered her love for working on the farm, particularly with the animals, who gave her a sense of peace and happiness while she was in a lot of pain

barbie telling this story while she and gloria are laying on some blankets in the back of barbie’s truck, stargazing

their song is “rhythm & blues” by the head and the heart, btw

gloria having her head on barbie’s chest, barbie’s arm around her

barbie in some overalls with no shirt underneath because it’s too hot, making it easy for gloria to slip her hand beneath the denim and trace her fingers across the scar

she also kisses barbie’s cheek and whispers how sorry she is, how strong barbie is and how much she admires it

barbie shivering at the touch and feeling so heard and seen and cared for and loved, her heart racing

they definitely end up realizing how dumb and blind they’re being, and go on their first date not long after that

barbie “dressing up” for it, in her jeans and boots for special occasions, with a sweater and her nicest belt

her leaning her arm against the wall gloria is standing in front of, being like “i clean up pretty nice, don’t you think?” with a little wink and her cheeky smile

gloria rolling her eyes slightly but definitely blushing, swooning, giggling, falling head over heels

gloria wearing an outfit she thought was nice yet casual enough, a long denim skirt with a pretty, thin sweater tucked into it (a look that emma helped style)

barbie being like those cartoon characters whose eyes turn to giant hearts and pop out of their heads and their jaws drop

she’s just a gay mess all the time around gloria tbh

their first date being so so sweet and fun and wholesome and barbie walking gloria to her door (emma’s door, because that’s where gloria is staying) and kissing her cheek and bidding her a good night

she is wearing her cowboy hat (she had only been doing so in her truck, but forgot to take it off this time as she got out)

gloria teasing barbie with “by the way, yes. you do clean up nicely”

barbie smirking “why thank you.” and tipping her hat before saying “i have to start practicing, so this is good.”

gloria tilting her head like “practicing? for what?”

barbie holding gloria’s hands and answering “for when i’m in new york, visiting you.”

it’s the sweetest whisper and she looks so hopeful

gloria reaches out to take the cowboy hat off barbie’s head, and she puts it on her own instead

she’s smiling. “yeah, i guess you do.”

and she hugs around barbie’s neck and kisses her

i adore them so muchhhh 😭 cowboy barbie you are such a loverboy and YOU ARE SO REALLLL

i will say i missed sasha since she wasn’t in this one since they are young but my consolation is that she ends up being their bio child in the future <3

hope you liked!! 🩷🩷

#barbie 2023 #barbie #glorbie #barbie x gloria #gloria x barbie #barbiegloria #barbie headcanons #glorbie headcanons #margot robbie #america ferrera

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

I can’t BELIEVE for the nights and days of life is over, I was starting to think that novel would last forever.

I hope you all are ready for the fact that it’s not over here on my blog, as my 5-5 ass is not done with it yet. In that respect, here are the chapter ten notes. No spoilers in the comments for me and any people who haven’t read yet, or are for some godforsaken reason, reading along with me.

And @mochalottie u are a queen and my favorite, I’m so sorry for taking so so long to read your work and being so bad at responding to your dms, I’m at the stage in adulting where every text from anyone seems like a monumental task lol. I’m trying to manage time better and respond better. It doesn’t help that I work in a high school so it blocks tumblr!!

Onto the for the nights and days of life chapter 10 notes! Happy Halloween all!

-The way I feel like my own children are growing up too fast when I hear that Spider and Neteyam aren’t sitting with Mo’at in the infirmary much anymore. 

-Ur fighting my Jake and Mo’at spend an insane amount of time gossiping headcanon. Ur simply spitting on it. Just think about it, just pICTURE it. Mo’at’s grinding up a paste and Jake sneaks in like “…Have your heard about what happened with Moe and Ninat?” and Mo’at goes “JAKE SULI I would never talk behind someone’s back. Tell me everything.”

-Hey, Neytiri being like unable to acknowledge Paz as Spider’s mom? Banger. It really gets to me. She’s like well fuck off that’s my kid all while doubting herself. But Mo’at's right baby Spider was Neytiri’s number one fan from day one, he was literally always a momma’s boy.

-Also because you mentioned the kids taking an afternoon nap, I wanted to take a moment to just highlight how hellish that year or so where Neteyam, Kiri, and Spider were done with naps and Lo’ak still needed them was. You know his ass threw the bIGGEST tantrum every time it was time for a nap and everyone else was still playing. He was enRAGED because no one has fomo like Lo’ak. The kid was feral, crying overtired tears simply insisting that he is absolutely not tired and does nOT NEED A NAP.

-Spider being in the sleeping pile is one of the things that makes my heart grow three sizes every time I read about it. But you made it 20 times worse by adding in that by himself he spreads out for safety but he feels safe in the pile, like I’ll kill myself.

-I literally can prove Spider always asks for banana fruit and I’m starting to become convinced it’s the only fruit he knows.

-Lol Norm and Max sitting on Earth absolutley fIGHTING over who has to tell Jake things are going BadTM. 

-Lol I just literally kNEW that Neteyam wanted to make Spider a present, and yet instead his gift to him was even more of a complex. 

-YOU CANNOT TEASE TARSEM LOVE STORY TO ME. ALSO I’M NOW ASSUMING HE’S GAY THAT SCENE READ GAY. 

-This is what both Jake and I thought of when Neytiri told him to keep his secrets:

SHE QUOTED THAT MOVIE ALMOST BAR FOR BAR MAN, IF I WAS JAKE THAT WOULD’VE SENT MEEEE. When I was younger I used to have to share a bed with my cousin on family vacations, and I’m telling you bitch is possessed. She sleep walks and sleep talks, and sleep assaults me in my sleep. But one time she fucking quoted The Princess Bride and the next morning when I told her I loved that movie, she told me she’s never seen it. I have never felt more fear for my life. Picture Jake struggling to explain the plot of Lord of the Rings, his ass has seen it, his twin was a nerd. 

-Jake as soon as his child needs comfort: Oh fuck, I’M the only one here!

-Spider, like 7: I won’t be able to mate dad. Jake: I have to go. I’m not ready for this.

-HUMANS ARE BACK, time for things to get a little fucking sad. I know I’m ALMOST twenty chapters behind and you guys are already in it, but I’m just getting started baybeeee.

-Also I love Spider calling his parents Ma and Da, your Irishness has crept in.

#the spookiest thing of all is me posting notes #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #spider sully #neteyam sully #mo'at sully #jake sully #neytiri sully #paz socorro #kiri sully #lo'ak sully #norm spellman #max patel #tarsem #fic recs #melissa does notes #melissa og #melissa on avatar (cameron) #fanfiction

[beomiesz]

TXT's top 5 kinks

ask: What’s ur top 5 kinks for each member??

genre: smut (duh), fluffy if you squint.

kink warnings: degradation kink, praise kink, dumbfication kink, corruption kink, dacryphilia kink, size kink, bulge kink, bondage, spit kink, hair pulling, bite kink, breath play, thigh ride, sensory deprivation, strength kink, spanking kink, dry humping, body worshipping and voice kink.

a/n: anon i lost your post in my inbox ?? idk what's happened but i worked all afternoon on this one and your ask did make me excited so i will post it anyway ! and that's a good one !

most of them are giving, so i only marked when it's receiving ^3^

yeonjun !!

degradation kink

he loves to call you his little cockslut, his personal cumdump and see the way you get embarrassed by him saying how much of a whore you're for be liking it when you clench around him.

praise kink (both giving and receiving)

for giving, walks side by side with his degradation kink, he will say shit like "what a good boy/girl, taking all i'm giving you. my pretty, little slut."

for receiving, he wants you to verbalize how good he makes you feel, he lives for your pleasure, so tell him you love his cock and you have this man on your hand palm.

dumbfication kink

have you babbling incoherent words and pleas, all drunk for his cock and only his, he'll make sure to fuck you until all you can remember is his name.

corruption kink

loves to teach his lil cute, innocent s/o all the dirty things he knows, the nastiest ones. goes crazy when sees you wanting to please him even though you don't know too much yet, looking at him with that big doe eyes which scream for him to pound you into the mattress, and you don't even know the effect it causes on him :(

dacryphilia kink

linked with his corruption kink, see you literally crying of pleasure, overwhelmed with how good he makes you feel, it's such an ego boost for this man, he can go for two ways, either mocking you and being all faux sympathy or kissing your tears away, saying how good youre for him :(

soobin !!

size kink

the way you look so tiny under him, the way his hands look even bigger around your waist, the way you struggle to take his cock in your tiny hole doesn't matter how many times y'all had fucked :( he can't get enough of it. also, he loves to manhandle you. if he's dominating, he will 100% do it, unconsciously. you just feel so good around him he can't help it :( he wants to feel your warmth in any position, and the whines you let out whenever he takes absolute control over your body urge him to do it.

bulge kink

linked with his size kink, would literally go feral and cum on the spot if the outline of his dick could be seen on your tummy, he knows your much smaller than him but at this point ??? this drives him insane.

praise kink (receiving)

say how big his cock is and how good it fucks you when he's in charge and he'll give you the best orgasm you ever had ! but if he subs ? call him your pretty good boy and cute baby will be all whiny and do anything for you.

degradation kink (receiving)

degrade! this! man! tell him how bad is that he has such a pretty, big cock but yet useless, how bad that he can't use it properly and you have no choice but to sit on his face so he can eat you out and please you the way you taught him, poor baby would literally cry saying that's not true :(

bondage kink (receiving)

he loves to feel completely helpless as you use his body for your own pleasure, tie him up and make him your fucktoy, he'll literally be in heaven, he wants to be your good boy and just the idea of being used by you to get off can make him cum :( lives for you riding him, he swears he never saw anything prettier than you on top of him.

beomgyu !!

spit kink (both giving and receiving)

man's just love anything which allows him to get messy nasty, spit on any part of your body principally your mouth and have you spitting on his cock makes this man go feral.

hair pulling (both giving and receiving)

pull his hair when he's giving you head and your legs will be shaking like they never had, he'll eat you out with a thousand times more devotion, like you're his favorite meal.

for giving, your scalp and your waist are his hands' place when he's taking you from behind. this allows him to glue his chest on your back and whisper the filthiest things into your ear, your head on his shoulder as he kisses you hungrily and his hips snap against your ass.

dacryphilia kink

beomgyu loves seeing you cry but unlike yeonjun, it's not because of how good he makes you feel. gyu wants you to cry of frustration bc all you want is cum but he keeps edging you and denying that oh so sweet release >:( he wants to hear your sobs as you try to pull away from him, whining that it's too much when he's overstimulating you, 10/10 he'll mock you asking if it wasn't what you wanted and lock his arms on your hips so you can do nothing but take what he's giving you.

bite kink (both giving and receiving)

tbh i see him with a mark kink in general. scratches, bites, bruises, hickeys, anything which reminds him of what you two did and will be a big deal for you to hide but hey! gyu doesn't want you to hide his work of art >:(

degradation kink

man will call you his cumslut, cocksleeve, useless fucktoy and dumb boy/girl, he will tell you how disgusting you are for letting him use you as he pleases and for liking it. for sure will make you beg to cum just to call you stupid little thing and hear you whimpering.

taehyun !!

breath play

simply loves to choke you !! see your helpless gaze at him as he grips your throat tightly, or hear your gags when you choke on his cock- man goes feral.

thigh ride

loves to see you fall apart on his thigh, the way you get all whiny begging for him to help bc you can't please yourself on your own :( such an invite for him to mock and degrade you.

sensory deprivation

ropes, handcuffs, blindfolds and even a ballgag, anything that allows him to be in full control of your body, the feeling of having your pleasure on his hand palm, he just can't get enough of it. also, the way you trust him to let your safety in his hands, totally restrained for him to do whatever he wants to.

strength kink

the fact that he can easily overpower you makes his brain go dizzy, he can immobilize your body just with his arms and manhandle you like you're a ragdoll and all you will do is whine for him.

spanking kink

he just can't keep his hands off you, whatever position he's taking you, he's slapping your ass, thighs, breasts and even your face, he loves the way you whine whenever he gives you smacks and loves to see his handprint on the skin of your butt when y'all are done.

hueningkai !!

size kink

man's broad he can't help it, he just finds adorable how smaller you look when you're under or on top of him, whatever. he loves how he can easily hold your hips in the air when you're straddling his lap and fuck into you ruthlessly, hearing your little sounds of happiness for being so full of him.

dry humping

hyuka is an absolute sucker for dry humping with you, nearly all your make-out sessions end up with y'all grinding on each other like horny dogs. loves how you take control when youre above him even if your a sub most of the time, and gets all whiny the closer he feels from the edge. also loves the moans you release when youre about to cum and the way your hips stutter against his, you going back to being a whiny baby when you come, whimpering his name.

praise kink (receiving)

please praise this man he needs it :( tell him how good he's doing and how much of a pretty, good boy he is for you. also, pat! his! head! caress his hair in a way of saying 'good job' and his heart will melt.

body worshipping (both giving and receiving)

just loves to hear you worshipping his body, kissing his skin like he was the prettiest thing in the world (and for you he actually is) and sees your eyes full of stars as you look at him, he just wants you to know he feels the same :( wouldn't shut up about how gorgeous every piece of your skin is, how he loves everything in you and how lucky he is for having you :(

voice kink

man i dunno but i feel like hyuka is a little pervy who'd pop out a boner just by hearing you say his name a bit whiner than usual, and poor baby would be so embarrassed for this :( but he can't help but remember you moaning his name all the times he fucked you, and wants to hear it again :( i'm sure his cock would twitch inside you whenever you cry out for him and you can't change my mind.

man there were so many kinks i didn't put on it bc you asked for five only T-T i'll just put it here and don't expand 🤫

daddy kink, brat taming and breed kink for dom!jun

mommy/daddy kink and dumbfication for sub!soobs; creampie kink and nipple play for switch!soobs

exhibitionism and humiliation kink for dom!gyu, choking for switch!gyu

sir kink, sexting and mirror kink for dom!taehyun

#txt smut #txt hard hours #yeonjun smut #soobin smut #beomgyu smut #taehyun smut #hueningkai smut #yeonjun hard hours #soobin hard hours #beomgyu hard hours #taehyun hard hours #hueningkai hard hours #[ ☆ – hard hours.]

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

#this was too long oh goodness #idek if some of you will actually take interest to read all these blabbers but yeah #but it was fun listing these down hahaha #nct 127 #nct #sticker #sticker.talks #taeil #johnny #taeyong #yuta #doyoung #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jungwoo #mark #mark lee #haechan #nct fluff #nct smut #nct reviews #long post

[angeli-marco-writes]

Sam Holland - Don't Tell

A/N & WC - This is not meant to glorify or condone adultery in any way. I do not know Sam, nor do I claim to, this is a work of fiction. This was written before Sam posted about a new girlfriend: no disrespect is meant towards her. I do not believe Sam would do this: it is fictitious. 3.5k.

Warnings - Adultery, explicit smut, unprotected sex, swearing, reader is the other woman, swearing, brief allusions to SA. 18+.

Summary - When Sam booty calls you, you can't deny him, but will sexual satisfaction be enough? Or will you always want from him what you know you can't have?

THIS WASN’T HOW YOU’D PLANNED to spend your Saturday afternoon, but Sam called, and who were you to deny him?

‘Come over at 3.’ He texted you. ‘She’s leaving then.’

No kisses, no emojis, no frills, no sign off, nothing. You’re just a nameless number in his phone. You knew what it meant. You’ve done it plenty of times before, so you know the drill, it’s just not exactly pleasant.

With ample time, you left your house, your new place only a couple of streets over from the Holland household, and you walked as inconspicuously as possible. Your coat wrapped tightly around you, you refused to make eye contact with anyone on the whole walk there.

You know the drill so well by now that you know not to stick to the front of the house, but instead to head around the back—straight into his bedroom window—via the bins. Theoretically, with no one home and Sam in the living room, you could walk in the front door, but his room is safest since she has always refused to enter—’just in case.’

Your heart thuds against your chest while you hold your breath, praying not to be heard downstairs the second your feet land on his floor. You press yourself flat against the wall behind Sam’s door, lips pursed and eyes squeezed shut, every muscle in your body clenched to the maximum. You’ve trained yourself to stay so quiet that the only sounds are your pounding, racing heart and the blood rushing in your ears.

Thankfully, before cramp can override you, you hear the words that give you the all clear.

“Bye, love!” he calls down the driveway, followed by a half hearted air kiss, a deafening crunching on the gravel driveway, and the front door at last clicking shut.

Your body finally relaxes, limbs falling loosely around you while you release one of the longest held breaths you’ve ever had.

You creak open Sam’s bedroom door, ready for him to meet you, and shrug your coat off, throwing it on the floor alongside your converse when you hear him coming upstairs. He gets like this, heavy steps and heaved breaths like they’re a strain on his body, and it usually means he’s extra horny.

“What took so long, lover boy?” you tease, standing scantily clad in his door frame, leaning against the painted wood.

His eyes darken with lust as he approaches you, his shadow from the landing already overpowering.

This isn’t like any sex or ‘relationship’ you’ve ever been in before. It’s risky, and that risk makes it so much hotter. Always leaving the door open just a crack so that the two of you could be found only by those closest to Sam, the chance of being caught together in the street on the off chance you go for drinks; after all, your reputation precedes you. But it’s the adulterous element of your relationship that makes it so fun. The fact that it’s usually after his girlfriend leaves that you’re called over to relieve his not-so-little ‘problem’, the little marks you trail across the hidden parts of his body, occasionally being risky enough to plant one on the juncture of his neck and shoulder just to test the waters.

After being together for over two years, she still refuses to do anything with him. Of course you respect such a thing: if she wants to wait till marriage and is able to resist Sam for that long, props to her. It’s just not always ideal for all party members. Sure, they’ve kissed, a little groping, but by this point, with how little Sam's lass has done with him, he’s immensely riled up.

He really likes his girlfriend, of course he does, and he’s spoken to her about this time and time again, asking why they couldn’t just do something more than a PG-12 touching session. She simply shook her head and smiled every time, “I’m saving myself for marriage, Sammy.” This infuriated him hugely. He’s been with a girl or two (or ten) before her, so is very expectant, but being twenty-two has its burdens. He isn’t anywhere near ready for marriage, but is increasingly sexually frustrated. So after an insane year of getting by with absolutely no action apart from the rare lap dance and make out, he knew he had to do something besides use his own hand to relieve the tension that was making him a complete prick.

He respects his girlfriend enough not to pressure her. Sam isn’t a bad person and so he isn’t going to coerce his girlfriend into sex she doesn’t want, seeing it as utterly immoral, so he did the only thing he could think of, and turned to the girl next door, quite literally. Not that it’s any more moral, but here you are.

As soon as he reaches you, the smirk etched upon his face is perfect, just what you expect, and his hands grip your waist tightly.

“You think you’re so cheeky,” he smirks, and his lips crash onto yours the next moment, his hands spanning your sides. His affection halts as he smacks the side of your ass. “I’ll show you cheeky.”

You don’t let him get another word in before you’re kissing him again, furiously this time, hooking one leg around his waist as the other flies to his neck, your clasp anything but gentle.

You’ve known of the Holland family for a while, living a street away, going to school with the boys and your mother having ‘neighbourhood meetings’ with the family. You, however, had had nothing to do with them, never getting involved in their ordeals, not really.

Keeping a resolutely ‘good girl’ demeanour all through school was difficult, especially when you wanted to rebel so earnestly. The first step was house parties, beginning when you were in year ten, everyone getting shit-faced and ending up giving sloppy hand-jobs in someone’s downstairs loo. That much you weren’t a fan of, so you waited until the end of school, A-Levels secured to be who you wanted to be. Trench coats, docs and chucks at every turn, short shorts and fishnets. Lots of hair dye came next, followed by a ‘scandalous’ collection of piercings, and a significant body count for someone your age, or so conservative old women perceived. Fuck them, your body your choice.

Times changed in a year and a half, though not that much. Mid way through your rebellion, you got a good job, your own place, and became a call girl, essentially. Sam’s call girl only, considering your regrettable soft spot for him.

You couldn’t care less though, even though it’s adulterous, Sam is incredible in bed. He frequently tells you the same.

“I think you’re rubbing off on me,” he murmurs, “even when she was kissing me I could only think of you.” His lips are inches from yours with your breath mingling in the confined space of his doorway as you pant.

He hasn’t touched you yet, or even moved you to the bed. You feel yourself blush a little, scared fractionally by what he’s saying but mostly flattered. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself. It makes you feel like your old self is creeping in again, the girl next door that no one fell for.

“I like it when you get all shy on me, really naïve, shows me you’re a human and not just a sex goddess. My sex goddess.”

You pull his lips to yours with a burning passion, desperate to feel him up against you. Your palms settle this time on Sam's cheeks, angling his face to get the most out of the kiss, and your hold remains resolute so that he can’t pull away easily. This isn’t your dominance though, simply a ploy to hide your flushed cheeks from his prying eyes, the blush that’s been caused by his kind words. You want to keep him here long enough that you can claim the blush is from the breathlessness and the actions of his tongue slipping inside your mouth with an urgency you haven’t felt with him for a while. Is this the day that changes everything?

He backs you to the bed, walking unsteadily, and pushes you down onto the springy mattress. It pitches beneath you as he joins you, sitting by your side, his hand gravitating towards your thigh.

“Hey, what is it?” you ask, a slight hesitant stammer to your words.

“Nothing,” he sulks. “Just dunno how long I can keep doing this.”

His baleful eyes hover over your decolletage, and before you can protest and try to get him to open up about the whole situation, discussing the fact that maybe you should just quit while you’re ahead and come clean (because to be fair, it’s beginning to weight on your conscience too, even though you’ve never met said girlfriend), he kisses you, pinching your nipple through your bra until it forms a pebbled bud.

“Gonna take it all out on you,” he hisses, moving his kisses to your jaw. “All this pent up need from missing your body. God, feel so good beneath me.”

He swings a leg over to straddle your legs, and begins a ferocious attack on your neck with his teeth. You’ll have fun at work tomorrow, trying to hide them from your co-workers, one of them (on a temp basis, at least) being Sam’s twin. Harry cottoned on pretty easy, and won’t say a word, because he doesn’t want to deal with Sam’s temper when he’s been denied sex for too long. He likes Sam’s girlfriend, sure, but she doesn’t compromise on anything and looks down her nose at the lot of them, so he considers it fair play. And besides, with his track record, he really doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Unwittingly, your hips buck up to meet his, feeling his throbbing need pressing against your pelvis, only for him to draw his body away from you, a bruising kiss being pressed to your lips the next moment. All in a flurry, your top is pulled down, your chest revealed to him.

“Bloody love your tits,” he purrs, a feral grin contorting his freckled face.

He rolls your pert bud between the rough pads of his fingers, palming at the other breast so as not to neglect it, only swapping when you’re beginning to writhe under him. His grin only increases.

“Sam… please.”

He knows what you want when you whine that way, so he sits up on his shins, and lets you tear his shirt open. Button by button, you watch as every inch of his pale chest is bared to you, his happy trail coaxing you lower.

“Get on with it, then,” he warns, clamping a hand around your hair in order to control your movements. He does this a lot, it’s his main power move. “They’re too damn tight now you’re around.”

You can definitely see that, the denim of his jeans pulled taut around his torso, the waistband of his boxers peeking above. He begins to pluck at your nipples again while you fumble with his buckle and zip, eventually tugging both items of clothing down at once. He stands, his lanky frame just a blur of white and freckles as he removes every last item, prowling back to you on the bed.

You, however, have other ideas, tugging him down with a grip on his shoulders until he’s helpless beneath you. In the time he was distracted with shucking his jeans off at last, you peeled your own shirt off and put your bra right. Sam’s a boob man, always has been, and takes great pleasure in fastening and unfastening your bras as much as he can, nestling into your chest for the time you spend together.

Since your last rodeo, you’ve gained some weight, and filled out a tad more, something Sam seems to notice right about now, especially as your chest hovers just inches from his face.

“Well? Are you gonna stare at them all day or take it off?”

This man… this man has the fucking audacity to lick his lips as one hand works on the hooks at the back of your bra, the other skimming the edges of the cups before it falls into his hands and he flings it across the room, knocking something off his dresser.

As soon as it's out of his way, he seems to forget everything apart from you, his eyes mesmerised by your chest, his mouth gaping a little, his eyes lingering on your hardened nipples for perhaps just a moment too long. You sigh to yourself, letting your knees dig into his navy comforter before your fingers wrap around his hand and place it onto your right breast. You know that, if you let him stare long enough, you’ll get nothing done. You need this release as much as he does. He takes the message, though, and begins kneading the flesh with a need you haven’t seen from him before. You even catch a wolfish grin when your face contorts into a silent ‘o’, overcome with pleasure. He tweaks your one nipple, and leans up to capture the other in his kiss-swollen lips, lavishing kisses around the sensitive area. You can’t help your nails leaving faint scratch marks in their wake over his freckled shoulders, tracing the silhouettes beneath his skin of muscle and bone, finding constellations within the freckles until he’s quaking beneath your delicate touch…

“Why’re you being such a tease?” he whines.

He has a point, you’re grinding down on his clothed cock in tandem with his playing with your boobs, your core hovering over his hard member, but it’s only fair with the stimulation he’s offering you. Just to shut him up, in one swift move you pull his boxers down and reach down to grasp him, stroking a couple of times before inching down, swallowing his aching length into your welcoming, warm walls.

Your moans create a heavenly sympathy, even as you stop for a moment to adjust to his size a little more, placing your hands on his pecs before grinding down on him. His hips begin to move, thrusting upwards and into you, finding a satisfying pace in tandem for you both as you ride him like there’s no tomorrow.

“Baby…” he moans, reaching out with his lips puckered to wrap them around your exposed nipple, suckling viciously, hard enough to hurt just a little.

“Stand up,” you command authoritatively, with a softness to your tone despite.

He grows harder inside of you, barely suppressing a groan, but his plan fails from shock when you bend over, clenching the foot of his bed so tightly your knuckles begin to turn white.

Casting a sensual glance over your shoulder, you bat your lashes and coax him the only way you know how, a wiggle of your bum added to help convince him; “Fuck me, Sammy…”

Your gasp is shrill and loud when he enters your craving core from behind, your knees nearly buckling when a stream of expletives falls from his lips once he grabs your hips, settling there. You’re sure to have hand-shaped imprints there tomorrow, but you don’t care, and apparently neither does Sam as he continues to thrust into you at an inhuman pace.

Breathy moans escape your lips as your nails find purchase in the sheets, now crumpled in your clenched fists. The only thing that fills your ears other than skin slapping against skin is the myriad of colourful words spilling from Sam in a groan, right down your ear.

“y/n… please…” he hums nonsensically, his lips finding their way to your shoulder blade and neck, kissing you, suckling.

He’s such a hypocrite: one rule for him, one rule for you, just because he’s got a girlfriend and is too pussy to break up with her even though his needs aren’t being met. For a brief moment, your body being used for his pleasure—and bringing you simultaneous heavenly satisfaction—you’re able to forget the consequences of your fornications.

They slip your mind once again the second one of his rough hands slowly makes its way down your front, finding your clit as he begins to rub harsh circles on it.

“Fuck…” you cry out, only for the heel of that hand to press into your pelvis, the other snaking around to your neck, applying the faintest pressure. Your walls tighten around him at the double stimulation.

His hips begin to move faster, blissful moans filling the room in symphony as you both near your highs, his tip grazing your special spot on every single thrust.

“C’mon,” he purrs in your ear, “can feel how close you are…” the pressure on your engorged pearl becomes a constant, and your body begins to spasm with unbridled pleasure. “Come.”

You do, and fireworks spark behind your eyes, setting off a train reaction in your brain, your walls clenching and your body collapsing, chest first, onto the edge of the bed. You must’ve cried out at some point, but your scream became but a gasp with his hand snug around your throat.

His thrusts slow, and he aids you onto the bed by your waist, but you roll away from him, aware that he hasn’t climaxed yet. He follows you down as your fingers link around his neck, but he’s not satisfied with that—as the smirk playing on his lips, causing dimples in his freckles, tells you—so he hovers above you on his knees. The hairs on his shins grate against the duvet cover so he shifts, but your hands move from his neck to his cheeks, pulling him closer to tangle your tongues together. His erection teases your wet folds while you’re lost in the movements of your mouths, and before you know it, he’s entering you again, and your hands are getting lost in his dark, silky locks, his one hand roughly kneading your breast. His thrusts recommence at a slower pace than before, his heels digging into the mattress as his groans overpower yours in the otherwise silent room.

“Shit… oh my God—” he hisses.

He begins to move faster, so you tug at his hair, revelling in the praises he offers, eliciting various heavy moans from his preoccupied mouth in between kisses. His warm breath and the resverberation of the moan vibrate across your lips, causing your hips to rock further into his, your legs wrapping around his toned torso to give him better access to your eager core. His movements become deeper as your breathing becomes even more escalated with high pitched moans tearing from your throat each time he hits your g-spot so perfectly. The knock-on effect sends him into an even more euphoric state, and before you know it, he’s groaning your name down your ear, and painting your walls white.

“Yes, Sammy…”

Your nails leave scratch marks all over his back from the sheer height of pleasure you’re experiencing, and that seems to be what sent him over the edge, his cum seeping into you as you milk his cock. He throbs inside you, his pelvis hitting you perfectly as he thrusts lazily while emptying himself. With one final press of his long, skilled thumb and digits over your sensitive nipple and a harsh bite to your pulse point just below your ear, the bundle of lust in your stomach becomes undone as you finish once again.

Before you’re fully recovered, he’s pulling out and leaving you empty as you lie together for a moment on opposite sides of the bed, no contact other than your pinky fingers linked and overlapping in between you. Except… despite the pleasure, you’re not satisfied. Not at all. And you know, in your heart, that this can’t happen again.

“Don’t tell anyone, please.”

“As fucking if,” you mumble.

“You ok?” he asks after a moment.

“Yes, just fine,” you snap, and roll off the bed, beginning to ferret around for your clothes.

“y/n, no…” Sam moves to grapple for you, “why are you leaving?”

“Because I’m done being treated like shit by you. Used as your fuck-toy when you’re too much of a pussy to deal with your girlfriend… I’m done, Sam.”

He’s up and off the bed, shucking his jeans on with great force that causes him to trip back onto the bed as you adjust your top and zip your skirt back up.

“y/n!”

“What!” you bellow right back at him.

He shuffles his feet on the carpet, and moves to speak, but his jaw just hangs open like a fish, nothing coming out.

“Yeah, I’m done here, Sam. Don’t booty-call me again.”

A weary voice from behind you calls out, “Sam?”

Shit.

This is bad. This is very bad. But what can you do? You’re the other woman, he’s the one choosing to commit adultery: why is that your problem? He can deal with his (clearly very angry) girlfriend, so livid she’s shaking, once you’re gone.

“Yeah. Your ‘don’t tell’ plan worked real good, Sammy. Karma’s a bitch,” you spit, spinning on my heels and waltzing out the door.

You mean it: you’re done. At least until he breaks up with her and undoubtedly calls back. You want him, there's no question about that, but you want him all to yourself: and that's a secret you won't tell.

#sam holland #sam holland imagine #sam holland x reader #sam holland fic #sam holland angst #sam holland x y/n #sam holland fluff #sam holland x you #sam holland one shot #sam holland smut #sam holland blurb #sam holland x fem reader #sam holland x f reader #samuel holland

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine - Chapter Two

Alright people, say it with me: Trust Issues. Also Finn goes from zero to one hundred real fast.

This is definitely a filler chapter; we’ll get to more spy stuff next chapter.

@lumosinlove

Chapter One

.

Finn made sure to get to the office early enough to have time for a trip down to the Archives, his second cup of coffee in hand as he took the elevator up to the fifth floor of the building. He needed intel. Not on the Snakes – they were getting briefed on them later today. No, he was looking for files on his new partners.

Granted, he could learn a lot from observing them on his own time, but that could only give him so much. In order to get the full picture, he needed their hometowns, history, information about their families, jobs they’d done in the past, you name it. Because, for one of the only times in his life, he was stumped. His entire job was based on how well he could read people; this was frustratingly unusual.

Unusually frustrating? Finn questioned as elevator opened with a ding.

It was both frustrating and unusual. There.

Figuring Logan out was harder than he’d thought it would be. Finn was having a really hard time connecting the Logan he knew from two months ago to the one he was trying to get to know now. He was so different compared to the version of Logan he’d met at the New Year’s party… but alcohol tended to have that effect on people. The guy who cuddled with him on that ratty old couch while nursing a rum and coke now kept his distance. The easy smile and contagious laugh Finn remembered hadn’t been seen or heard since. He was so guarded. About everything, it seemed like. That made him hard to get to know, hard to predict. 

And then there was Leo. Leo made absolutely no sense, in Finn’s opinion. With constant movement but controlled, practiced actions, he was a paradoxical combination of restless and serene. His nerves pointed towards inexperience, but his eyes told a different story – one with complete confidence of his capabilities. He was an enigma. And Finn couldn’t seem to get a read on him.

That was important to Finn. He needed to be able to read and understand his partners. He needed to be able to know their thoughts, predict their every move, trust them. They wouldn’t work together otherwise.

So he woke up at a god-forsaken hour – it was still dark outside – and here he was, outside the Archives.

Staring at the back, broad shoulders, and brown hair of one of his new partners.

Fuck.

He put on a smile. “If I’d known I was meeting you here, I would’ve brought coffee for you.”

Logan didn’t tense, exactly, but his shoulders stiffened slightly. He turned and smiled back. It still wasn’t the smile Finn remembered from that night, wasn’t the one he wanted to see again so badly. “Hey. I see you had the same idea as me.”

“And what’s that?”

He shrugged, indifferent. “Getting intel on your new partners.”

“Nah,” Finn lied as they walked side-by-side to the front desk, “I’m here to brush up on the previous missions against the Snakes’ before our briefing this afternoon. But it’s nice that you want to do your research on us.” He winked. Logan’s lips twitched in an attempt to withhold a smile.

“Can I help you boys?”

Finn turned his bright smile to Lily Potter, who was manning the Archives desk. “Hello, my fellow redhead! We would like the files on past Snakes’ missions, and then the files on Knut, Tremblay, and yours truly, please.”

She arched an eyebrow. “How much time do you have on your hands?”

“Don’t have anything on my schedule until this afternoon. Why?”

“The missions will take you at least two days to get through. It’s probably eight, ten years of files.”

Finn whistled lowly. “Holy shit.”

He hadn’t really thought this through. In his defense, though, it was a spur of the moment idea.

“Well, just the other files, then. Someone over here wants to do research on his new partners.”

Lily sent Logan a curious glance, but left to grab the files. Finn turned to Logan with a flirtatious smile, resting his arm on the desk. “So, what all do you want to know? I’m an open book.”

“I seriously doubt that.”  Logan snorted, nose crinkling in the process.

Finn’s smile turned more genuine. God, he was cute. “Ok, then ask away. Here, I’ll help you out. I’m a Gemini, I graduated from Harvard, I’m a sucker for green eyes, I enjoy long, romantic walks on the beach as long as there’s no seaweed-”

“Why would you think any of that is relevant?”

“I give you all this information and that’s the first question you ask? I’m offended.” Lily chose that moment to return with three files, two significantly thicker than the other one. Finn thanked her and grabbed Logan’s file for himself before passing the other two to Logan.

“Have fun researching!” Finn said as he turned to head for the elevator again. He paused before looking back at Logan and adding with a wink, “Oh, and pass along Nut’s file to me when you’re done reading it.”

***

Remus stepped foot into the briefing room to find Sirius already there, messing with a laptop. Where he got said laptop was unknown. And a little worrying, seeing that he’d shown up in Gryffindor with a bag of clothes, some cash, and nothing else.

He glanced up at Remus and looked him over with a smile. “Good afternoon. Long time, no see.”

“What are you up to?” Remus asked as he set his bag down, clutching his cup of tea in his other hand and looking back at Sirius. There were bags under his eyes, reminding Remus of the fact that he was still sleeping on his couch. Sleeping was a loose term, though. He had also been awake when Remus had gone to bed and when he got up in the morning. Did the man ever sleep?

“Oh, nothing much.” Sirius said, hitting a few keys on the laptop in rapid succession. “Getting ready to brief the cubs.”

“The cubs?”

“Your logo is a lion. And they’re the youngest ones here, right? Hence the cubs.”

“Cute.” Remus sat down in one of the chairs with a sigh and took a sip of his tea. “So what are you briefing them on today?”

“Members of the Snakes. I have a powerpoint with pictures and everything.”

“Oh god.”

Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus. “Oh, come on. It’ll be fun. Better than me droning on and expecting them to stay focused.”

“They’re spies. Sometimes, that’s part of the job.”

“Sure. But it doesn’t have to be.”

Remus smiled a little at that. “How thoughtful of you.”

“I try.”

He hummed, cupping his mug with both hands. “You know, if you were really thoughtful you’d stop leaving your dishes in the sink.”

That startled a laugh out of Sirius. “Now, why would I do that when it’s so fun to get on your nerves?”

“You don’t get on my nerves.”

Sirius arched an eyebrow. “No?”

“No.” He took another sip of tea to hide his smile. “I’m a very patient man.”

Sirius was still laughing by the time Knut, O’Hara, and Tremblay entered the room. They all sat side by side, not really talking much and still a little unsure of each other. That needed to change soon. You couldn’t afford to be doubting your partners while on missions like the ones they’d be getting into.

“Alright, cubs! Let’s get started, shall we?” Sirius asked, connecting the laptop to the room’s projector. “Today we’re going over the members of the Snakes and what all you need to know about them.”

An animated picture of a snake in a party hat showed up on the projector. Remus sighed.

“Ok, so we’ll start at the top.” He switched to the next slide. “This is Riddle. Fuck Riddle. He’s in charge of every little detail of the Snakes, and very paranoid about handing over tasks to other members. He’s got a lot of messed up ideas about ethics and – well, pretty much everything.”

“What’s wrong with his eyes?” Logan asked, still staring uncomfortably at the yellow eyes on the screen.

Sirius shrugged. “I think it’s a genetics thing. Something about liver issues. I never really paid attention. On to the next member!”

A picture of a greasy-haired man with a sour expression on his face glared back at them.

“Snape.” Remus said with disdain. At Sirius’ look, he just shrugged. “Pots has gone up against him a few times. He hates the guy and makes sure everyone knows it. He works in the drug side of their operation.”

“Exactly.” Sirius smiled, which proved to be more distracting than Remus thought it would be. There had been teasing smiles, flirty smiles, sarcastic smiles, but this one was new. This was one of the first genuine smiles he’d seen from the ex-Snake. “I think I like Potter a little more now.”

“I think you two could actually be really good friends, and that terrifies me.”

“Ok, next is Bellatrix. Please, please avoid her as much as possible. She’s certifiably insane.”

Finn frowned. “She’s got one of the flash drives, right?”

“Unfortunately, yes. So it’s going to be up to you to distract her and Leo to grab the drive, probably.”

Both boys paled a little, then looked to each other, seeming to have a silent conversation all their own.

Sirius moved on to the next slide, where a man with cold eyes and a feral smile looked back at them. “This is Fenrir Greyback. Don’t fuck around with this one, he’s ruthless.”

Finn and Logan’s eyes snapped over to Loops, who looked pale and slightly nauseous. His hand was on the juncture of his neck and shoulder, massaging the muscle absentmindedly. Not for the first time, Finn wondered what exactly happened on that mission. All he knew was that Loops was supposed to take Greyback down and he came back with a mutilated shoulder and new cuts on his face that were sure to scar. He hadn’t been back in the field since.

Leo’s gaze moved from one person in the room to the next, slowly piecing together the story. He didn’t know all the details yet, but he knew they couldn’t be good.

Sirius, who was still talking, finally seemed to connect the dots. His eyes got wide and his sentence trailed off to remain incomplete. He stared at Loops in horror. “Fuck.”

“I think that’s enough for today.” Leo said quietly but firmly, getting out of his seat while giving Remus a meaningful look. His partners followed suit. “We can pick this up again tomorrow.”

The three of them left in a hurry, leaving Sirius and Remus alone. Remus started grabbing his meticulously organized notes and shoved them in his bag. He could feel Sirius’ gaze on him, but he refused to look up.

“Listen, Remus, I had no idea –”

“Of course you didn’t.” Remus cut in calmly. “How could you have known? Hell, you probably congratulated him after that mission –”

“That’s not true –”

“But you were there. You knew what he did to people and yet you just stood by.”

“Why do you think I left?” Sirius demanded, his voice raising. Remus finally met his gaze. “You weren’t the only one who got screwed over by the Snakes. I grew up watching that shit, just assuming it was normal because that’s the way it’s always been there. And then I realized my parents were monsters and started thinking for myself and realized how fucked up that organization is. Do you really think I’d be here if I condoned that sort of shit?”

“Honestly? I wasn’t sure you cared. The only motivation for wanting to take the Snakes down that you’ve deigned to share with us is that you want your brother safe. You’ve never said anything about how you feel about the organization itself.”

“What are you smoking?” Sirius asked with an incredulous laugh. “I want my brother safe because he’s in that hellhole. What other reason –”

“Then tell us that!” Remus shouted, finally getting Sirius to stop talking. “You keep everything so close to your chest, you don’t seem to want to interact with any of us, and you don’t tell us anything but the bare minimum. How are we supposed to get anything done if we can’t trust you?”

“That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think? I swear, you’re one of the most guarded people I’ve ever met!”

“Well, you don’t really need to get to know me, do you?” Remus fired back. Sirius froze. “You’re here to take the Snakes down. That’s it. When all this is done, it’s not like you’re going to stay. You don’t have to trust me as a friend, but trust me as an agent.”

“That’s it, huh?” Sirius asked, voice dangerously blank.

“That’s it.”

“Fine.” He said gruffly, slamming the laptop closed and grabbing his jacket from the back of a nearby chair. “I’m headed out. Don’t wait up.”

Remus sighed, staring down at his mug and swirling the now-cold contents. Even though they’d gotten along surprisingly well the past couple of days, they weren’t friends. And they didn’t need to be friends. This was business. They were working together to get a job done. That was all. 

Remus knew that the two of them getting along so well was like an already-lit fuse - it was bound to blow up in their faces sooner rather than later. 

***

Finn walked into the safe room, whistling lowly as he looked around. He’d never been in here before – he hadn’t had a reason to. There were safes of all different types and sizes littered around the room. On tables, on the floor, embedded in the walls. He wondered how many safes there were total, and how long it had taken to collect them all.

Leo was seated criss-cross-applesauce in front of one, pressing a stethoscope against the door of a safe and rotating the dial slowly. Finn smiled a little at the sight. This made more sense, seeing it in action. The constant fidgeting was replaced with stillness, the only movement being those of deft fingers against the dial. All that motion and pent-up energy were now focused solely on the safe. 

He walked up to Leo, completely unnoticed, and tapped on his shoulder. Leo jumped a foot into the air, yanking the stethoscope out of his ears and whirling around to look at Finn. “Fuck, you scared me.”

“Sorry, Nut.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Coming to see you, obviously.” Finn said with a wink. “Tremblay and I were wondering if you wanted to get dinner with us. You know,” Finn made a weird motion with his hand and then cringed, moving his hand behind his back and grabbing it with his other hand to keep from performing any more weird, random movements. “Get to know the team and all that.”

Leo’s smile lit up the room. “I’d love to! Y’all headed out right now?”

Y’all.

Wow, his genteel southern-boy routine could really take him places in this profession. With that combined with his looks, no one would ever think he could possibly be guilty of anything.

“Probably. It’s almost seven.”

Leo blinked, confused. “Is it?” At Finn’s nod, he uncrossed his legs and stretched, his back popping in the process. “Guess we should get going then, huh?”

“Yeah.” Finn held out a hand and helped the blond to his feet. He really was just a giant. How did he find clothes that fit him? Finn glanced down at Leo’s shirtsleeves and - sure enough - they were an inch or two above his wrists. He realized he was sort of staring at this guy’s wrists, of all things, and his eyes shot back up to meet kind, albeit confused, blue eyes. “We were thinking Sid’s for dinner? You been there before?” When Leo shook his head, he groaned. “You’re missing out, Nut. We’re fixing that right now. Come on.”

He led Leo back down the hall to the bullpen, where Logan was still pouring over files. How he ever expected to get through the huge pile of files on his desk, Finn had no idea. “Look alive, Tremblay. We’re getting pizza.”

Logan instantly looked up with a hopeful smile. “Sid’s?”

“Where else?” Finn laughed as Logan shot out of his seat and grabbed his coat. He’d never seen the other agent move so fast. “Hungry?”

Logan turned to look at him, his arm getting stuck in the sleeve of his coat. He grumbled under his breath in a language that definitely wasn’t English and shoved his arm into his sleeve. “I’m going to eat an entire pizza and you can’t stop me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

They stepped out of the building together, taking a right and heading down the street. It wasn’t actually that cold outside, for a Gryffindor winter – only thirty-five degrees or so. But Nut still shoved his hands into his pockets and nuzzled his nose into his coat. Finn couldn’t hold back the smile at the sight, noticing red-tipped ears and a slight shiver.

“Cold, Nut?” Logan asked, also noticing the blond’s hunched shoulders.

He looked at his new partners, then buried his nose again. “Don’t judge me. New Orleans winters aren’t nearly this bad.”

“New Orleans, huh?” Logan questioned, although Finn knew he was already aware of Leo’s hometown. It was in his file, after all. “I’ve always wanted to visit.”

“Ooh, yes!” Finn agreed, leading them around a corner. “The home of Mardis Gras.”

Leo shrugged. “If we’re being technical Mobile, Alabama had the first Mardis Gras celebration in the States. We just do it better. There’s a ton of people, though. If you really want to see the city, come at a better time in the year.” He sent the other two boys a smile. “Maybe summer, so you can experience real southern heat. And humidity.”

“No thanks.” They said in unison, making Leo laugh. The conversation trailed off as they waited for the sign at a crosswalk.

“Where are the two of you from?” Leo finally asked as the red hand morphed into a walking man and the ticking from the crosswalk speakers changed tempo. They stepped into the street with Logan staring down cars that could potentially start moving again and hit them.

Finn thought that was cute.

Maybe Finn was looking at his personality the wrong way. Guarded wasn’t the right adjective for him - protective fit much better.

“New York City.” He rushed to answer Leo’s question as they reached the other side of the street, pointing out the Sid’s sign for Leo.

“Canada.” Logan said a bit gruffly, but you could hear the fondness in his voice.

Leo arched an eyebrow. “Now I understand why you’re so accustomed to the cold.”

Finn held open the door to Sid’s, motioning for the other two to go on ahead. “You’ll get used to it, too, Nut. Logan, can you believe he’s never had Sid’s before?”

Logan went off on a tangent about the perfection that is Sid’s margherita pizza as they were led to their table by a young waiter, who eyed them curiously. They sat down and Finn noticed Logan choosing a seat facing the rest of the restaurant, back to the wall. He looked around at the others in the building, only relaxing when he deemed the coast to be clear.

They quickly looked over the menu, Finn and Logan giving recommendations about their favorite dishes (practically all of them) and began telling lighthearted stories about where they were from and how they grew up while waiting for their food. Leo’s leg was constantly bouncing under the table, but he looked happy and relaxed, which Finn took as a good sign. Finn finally, finally got one of those rare New Year’s party smiles again, as well as a new sunny, dimpled smile from Leo - both of which he really wanted to keep seeing.

He didn’t understand why he was making such a big deal of causing his partners to smile.

Ok, he might’ve had a slight idea. But he didn’t want to think about it too hard. Not yet, at least.

It was only when their pizzas arrived that Logan brought out the big guns.

“So what made you decide to do this for a living?” He asked, sticking his tongue out to catch a stray string of cheese from his pizza slice. Finn tried not to follow the motion too closely, for his own sanity. “For me, it was Dumo. He was our next-door neighbor growing up, after we moved from Canada. I remember he was always away on business trips, but he would  come back looking exhausted and a little beat up. I’d go visit Celeste while he was away – she was always so worried, so I knew something was up. I can’t remember exactly how I found out, but I think I was thirteen or so when I figured out what his job was.” Logan shrugged. “Nothing else really interested me after that.”

“You guys are close, then?” Leo asked, maintaining eye contact with Logan and grabbing the container of red pepper flakes, liberally adding it to his pizza. Finn watched on in horror. Had he previously burned all his taste buds off or something?

Logan smiled. “Yeah. He’s like a dad to me. The whole family’s great. I babysit their kids all the time.”

That was a mental image Finn would be thinking about for the foreseeable future. God, he was screwed, wasn’t he?

He hurried to talk and take his mind off of it. “I got recruited right out of college. I’ve got a good memory and a knack for predicting people and how they’ll react to things. I jumped at the opportunity.” 

He smiled fondly at the memories his mind brought up. “My brother and I grew up on James Bond movies. How cool would it be to do that for my career? So I joined. The obvious next step was becoming a conman, I guess. It’s where I fit best.”

They looked to Leo, who seemed mildly embarrassed. “My Mama caught me pickpocketing on Bourbon Street.”

Logan and Finn took a moment to process that, and then cracked up. Leo waited for them to calm back down, smiling sheepishly before he continued, “She said if I was going to do stuff like that, I should at least be doing some good in the world. So she googled and found Gryffindor and asked some recruiters to meet with me. I came home from school one day to Blizzard and Talker sitting on my couch, eating my mom’s jambalaya.” Logan and Finn laughed again while Leo dragged his crust through some marinara sauce. “Next thing I knew, I was driving a moving truck across the country.”

“Do you miss home?” Logan asked, finally shoving his plate away.

Leo shrugged, looking back and forth between the other two knowingly. “Doesn’t everyone miss home, in one way or another?”

Finn wasn’t even sure what home was to him anymore. Maybe he’d figure it out one of these days. He glanced over at his new partners. Logan also looked pensive, apparently grappling with Leo’s words as well. 

Leo seemed completely unfazed, his leg bouncing again. “Does anyone want dessert?”

#lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast #coops #sirius black #remus lupin #o'knutzy #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #leo knut #clandestine

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 16 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC/GENE PAGE

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: When the reader arrives back home, they have to face Negan, but first, they need to tell the others what happened with Alpha. When they find out that Daryl is about to step into the fire what will happen and how will Negan and the reader get past his escape?

Word Count: 2981

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Falling” by Harry Styles

Note: I wanted to make this part focused on conversation and have a breather after all the action. More to come.

-------

The walls of Alexandria greeted you late in the afternoon. 

The entire ride home you had been paranoid that any Walker was one of Alpha’s people. The original fears from the start of the Apocalypse were returning. A lone Walker or even a few hadn’t given you the sense of fear like this since those first few months. However, now, the Living threat moved with the Dead and there were new rules to play by.

At least, that is what you felt this was. A cruel game. After Terminus, after the Wolves, and even after the Saviors, you didn’t think people could get worse. How naïve you and the rest of your family had been.

As your horse swayed beneath you, your hands gripped the reins tightly as Alpha’s face remained at the forefront of your mind.

There was something so feral yet powerful about the woman. You could also tell that she was the product of the new world and based on what Lydia had told you, Henry, and Daryl, her mother hadn’t always been this way. You only hoped that whatever Daryl was about to do didn’t unleash even more of the terror that you were sure was hidden beneath her stoic features.

Siddiq was the one that met you as the gate opened. He took the reins of your horse and led him to the stables, not saying a word as you finally relaxed when the gate shut securely behind you. 

“Here,” Siddiq said quietly as he reached for your arm to help you down off the horse. You gripped his shoulder as your feet hit the ground and then he was pulling you into him. “I’m so sorry about Jesus,” he said and you gripped him back, trying to keep your emotions in check. 

“Thanks, Doc,” you said as you gave him a final squeeze before letting go. Stepping back, you looked up at him and then noticed something else in his eyes. Something that wasn’t just sympathy. “What else happened?” He took a breath and then smiled slightly.

“Rosita’s pregnant,” he said proudly and that was the last thing you had expected to come out of his mouth. 

“And it’s….it’s yours?” you asked, carefully. 

“Yeah, it is,” he said with a wider smile. You couldn’t help the wave of emotion that overtook you then. Even with all the sorrow, this was something to celebrate. 

“I am so happy for you,” you said and you meant it. “Look at you, a dad.” You punched him in the shoulder lightly. 

“Thanks,” he said and you could tell he wanted to be even more excited, but after what had happened, nobody was feeling very gleeful. Instead, you focused on the task at hand. 

“We need to talk. All of us,” you said with a heavy sigh, “we are not even remotely done with these people.” Siddiq understood immediately. 

“I’ll call for a council meeting,” he said. “Did you want to and talk to…” he began, but you shook your head. 

“No, just call the meeting. Negan can wait.”

---------

“They’re back,” a quiet voice said in the dark. 

Negan slowly opened his eyes. He wasn’t sleeping. He hadn’t been able to since Michonne returned and told him what had happened and asked him if he had ever heard of people walking with the Dead while wearing their skins. He hadn’t, but he wasn’t surprised that they were out there. The new world changed people in the most extreme ways. 

Michonne hadn’t stayed long, but he could tell the new threat was getting to her. It was rare when he saw the woman rocked and he didn’t have a good feeling about what was to come. 

Turning over on his cot, Negan looked at Judith who had just returned to the cell. Judith folded herself onto the floor as she had hours before. She had been doing so since he got back, only leaving to see her mom and sleep. Whether Michonne knew or not, she never told her to leave. 

“Do they look angry?” Negan asked.

“They look tired,” Judith said softly. “I think something else bad happened.” Negan furrowed his brow as he sat up. 

“Why do you say that?”

“Siddiq just called a council meeting. They only do that when something bad happened,” Judith said.

“They called a council meeting once because Eugene tried to make a catapult,” Negan reminded her. 

“This one feels different,” she said with a slight shake of her head. “Before I came down here, I heard (Y/N) say that Uncle Daryl was afraid. He’s not afraid of anything.” Negan frowned at that. He knew Daryl enough to know that he rarely showed fear in the face of danger. 

“Your uncle is strong, kid,” he told her, trying to reassure her. “He’s been through worse.” Judith, however, wasn’t convinced. She leaned in more towards the bars, removing her hat so he could see her better. 

“Negan,” she whispered, “I’m scared.” He didn’t hesitate then. Negan moved towards the bars and crouched down to her level. He reached for her hands and she held onto them tight. 

“You listen to me, kid,” he said, “no matter what happens, nobody will hurt you. Do you understand me? I won’t let them hurt you. Besides, you are a survivor, and dammit, you’re a Grimes. To these new freaks that may not mean somethin’, but to me and to everyone else in your family, that means a lot.”

“Does it?” she asked in a small voice.

“Hell yeah it does,” he assured her. “You, your mom, and that little boy upstairs are what’s left of this badass family I met seven years ago and you know what I learned after knowin’ your daddy and big brother?”

“What?”

“Nobody goes against a Grimes and wins.”

--------

As soon as you finished explaining what had happened at Hilltop, the meeting hall was silent. 

“I don’t know what Henry ended up saying to her, but it got the kid to open up,” you explained. “I think that she could be valuable.”

“For what?” Aaron asked. “You saw those freaks the same night I did, (Y/N). You know how ruthless they are. They aren’t going to back down for one girl.”

“Lydia is Alpha’s child, Aaron,” you said. “Whether the woman is capable of compassion or not, that means something to her. I don’t think she would have openly exposed herself like that if it didn’t.”

“And that’s why Daryl went after her? For leverage?” Rosita asked. You noticed that her hand was placed protectively on her abdomen. You didn’t think she realized she was doing it. 

“I think it’s more about protecting her,” you said with a sigh. “The girl’s been abused.”

“She also killed Jesus,” Aaron argued. 

“No, her people did. Lydia didn’t kill anyone,” you countered. 

“As far as you know…” 

“Look all I know is that Daryl is about to declare war and we need to be ready,” you said. Looking around at the faces in the room, you could see that a wave of fear was being passed from person to person. These...Whisperers, as Eugene called them, were something out of a nightmare and that was saying something considering everyone had been living in a horror film for a decade. 

“Negan didn’t know them,” Michonne interjected, gaining your attention. You nodded.

“I figured as much,” you sighed. “I don’t think anyone would have known them. I think that this is their first time showing themselves to people that they weren’t immediately going to kill afterward.”

“Looks like we’re all going in blind on this,” Michonne said. 

“It’s new territory, that’s for sure,” you said, leaning against the wooden column at your back. 

“What’s your take on all of this?” Gabriel asked you. 

“I think they are more dangerous than we think,” you said. “We’ve fought villains before, but this is the first time when I can’t see how this is going to go. Guns and armies are one thing, even those freaks at Terminus made some kind of sense in my mind. But this? This is absolute insanity and I’m positive that we haven’t seen the last of Alpha or her people.”

“Why didn’t you go with Daryl?” Aaron asked. 

“I was needed back here,” you said.

“For Negan?” Aaron asked, narrowing his eyes. 

“Yes, Aaron, instead of informing my family that there are masked psychos after us, I ran all the way back here to check on escaped convict number one,” you spat, gathering your things and gripping your sword tighter. “Fuck off.” 

Nobody said anything as you stormed from the hall. 

“Nice,” Michonne said with a smack to the back of Aaron’s head. 

You headed for home, still boiling with anger. You knew that Aaron was angry with you about everything with Negan no matter what he said. He blamed Negan for Eric and while you understood, you just wished that he would remember that Negan wasn’t the one to kill his boyfriend. Eric tragically died in the war, but so did a lot of people. 

Pausing in the middle of the road, you couldn’t believe that that thought crossed your mind. You were invalidating Aaron’s grief because of your own emotions and feelings and you hated the way it made you feel. “Get yourself together,” you whispered to yourself. 

Continuing on towards your house, you passed by the Grimes house when a small voice reached your ears.

“You always tell me to be honest!” Judith’s yell came from the cell beneath her house. She sounded frustrated which had you moving closer. 

“You’re the kid, I’m the adult,” Negan said back. Hearing his voice offered you both comfort and stoked that anger in your gut. You wanted to throttle him and hug him at the same time. Your feet were moving before you could even stop them and the next thing you knew you were pushing open the heavy door of the jail. You were met with silence. 

“Get out, Judith,” you ordered. The young girl looked up at you from her spot on the ground. Her hat was in her hands and she looked as if she had been there for a while. 

“No,” she said, “you’re gonna yell at him.” The girl was too smart for her own good, you thought. You still avoided looking at Negan, but you could feel his eyes on you. 

“I’m gonna yell at both of you if you don’t get out,” you said. “Your mom is gonna wanna talk to you.”

“Is this about what happened to Jesus?” she asked, getting to her feet. 

“Yes, now go.” Judith hesitated. “Judith, right now.” With a sigh, she placed her hat on her head and sulked as she walked from the room. With one last look at Negan, she stormed out and ran up the steps. 

“You shouldn’t be angry with her,” Negan said, finally speaking directly to you. You paused and then let your bag drop from your hands. Dust flew from where it thumped to the cold floor and then you were turning to finally look at him. That light was in his eyes again, the one that was only reserved for you. 

Normally, it would give you so much joy, but it only fueled your fire. However, you kept your temper under control. “Are you sure you don’t know anything about these Whisperers?” you asked, your voice low. 

“Is that what you seriously want to talk about right now?” he asked, his arms braced on the bars as he gave you an incredulous look. 

“I’m not sure I can talk about anything else without screaming.”

“You’re angry,” he said.

“I’m hurt, Negan,” you corrected. “When Scott showed up and told Daryl and me that you had left, yeah, I was pissed. I couldn’t understand why after everything you would just leave and then I realized something.”

“Which was what?” he asked carefully. 

“That I was so stupid to believe anything that happened between us was real.” Negan stared at you in shock, not expecting that at all. 

“You honestly believe that? Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“What else am I supposed to believe!” you shouted. “I am so goddamn stupid! I should have known the second you had the chance, you were going to leave. I just don’t know why you even bothered to come back.”

“Don’t bullshit yourself, (Y/N),” he countered, not letting you be the only one on offense.

“Excuse me?”

“You know damn well why I came back! You just won’t admit it to yourself because you’re afraid!”

“Afraid? Of what? Why don’t you tell me Negan since you seem to know me so well,” you said, crossing your arms.

“That’s the thing, though. I do know you. I know you better than anyone has in a long time. And I’m not talking about where you grew up or how many Walkers you’ve killed. I know you. We are the same and I know that I’m not the only one who has felt that way. You can deny it all you want, but I know the truth and so do you.” 

“You don’t know anything,” you whispered, but your voice was thick with emotion. “I can’t feel like this, don’t you understand?”

“Like what?” 

“Like I am willing to turn my back on my entire family just to keep you safe. Just to make sure that you are still alive when I come home. I shouldn’t be this...this consumed by one person!”

“Why are you acting like the idea of you and me is so fucking terrible?”

“Because everything I touch, I kill and so do you! You say we’re the same, well you’re right, Negan! We are both monsters and all people do is die around us! Rick, Carl, Jesus! If we are the same then I don’t want to be!”

“I’m not going to let you stand there and say that what we feel for each other doesn’t mean anything!”

“Don’t tell me how to feel,” you shot back.

“Then say it, (Y/N),” he said, leaning through the bars. “Say that I mean nothing to you and I’ll stop.” You were silent as you looked at him, fighting the tears behind your eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“You bastard,” you swore. “You left me. After everything that I’ve lost, that you knew about and you left! How am I supposed to react to hearing that you were gone!”

“I came back,” he said softly. 

“And what if you didn’t? Was I just supposed to accept that? Was I just supposed to go on with life not knowing where you were or if you were even alive? What was the plan?” Negan reached for you, but you shook your head, holding your arms tighter against your chest.

“I didn’t think there was a future here if I was locked in a cage.”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you shot back, trying to keep your rage contained. 

“Don’t you?” Negan challenged. 

“I just lost one of my best friends and my other one is hunting down our new enemy’s kid to save her life so no, Negan, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” he whispered.

“What did I tell you about apologizing?”

“I’m not sorry that I left, I’m sorry that you’re hurting.”

“You hurt me,” you told him, wiping at your face. 

“I know and if I could take it back, I would,” he said. 

“I don’t want to be the bad guy here,” you told him. 

“You could never be the villain of my story,” he whispered. The silence was thick in the room and you didn’t know how to respond to him. You hadn’t intended to go off on him like this, you thought you would give it a few days, but hearing his voice….

“I have to figure out how to help Daryl,” you said suddenly with a sniff. Negan frowned as you changed the subject but went along with it. 

“What are you going to do about them?” he asked. 

“We’ll figure it out when Daryl finds the girl. He has to be included in the decision. Tara too. Maggie also if we can reach her, but I don’t know where she is right now,” you whispered, not looking at him. 

“There’s gonna be a fight, isn’t there?” 

“Not if I can help it,” you said, gripping your blade. Negan noticed and he also noticed the steel reserve that seemed to be around you since you walked in. 

“You’re gonna kill them.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Cut off the head of the snake and the body dies,” you said looking up at him. He could see the tears marks, the tears he had caused. “No more games. If she comes for us, I will kill her.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” you said.

“We both know that’s not true.”

“We don’t know anything anymore.” 

“What are you really trying to say, (Y/N)? That you hate me now?” 

“I will never hate you,” you said, taking a step back. “I told you that before.”

“So what, then?” 

“I just can’t trust you anymore,” you said as you grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder. 

“How do I win that trust back?” he asked, his tone becoming hoarse. 

“I don’t know,” you whispered, turning to go. 

“I’ll do anything!” he called to you. Your hand paused on the door handle and as you closed your eyes you let one more tear fall. 

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

“(Y/N)!” he yelled as you left the room, letting the door close behind you as you walked away from him.

As you jogged up the steps, you heard his calls for you to return, but you just kept walking.

TAGS:  : @amaroho​ @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @halszka-potter @yespleasejayhalstead @fmunegan @hoemadegrace  @pulplorrd @writingdead0829 @lucillethings

#Negan Imagine #Savior Sessions #Walkerwords #negan x reader #negan #twd imagine #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfics #twd fanfiction #negan x you #negan x y/n #twd

[foolishheadstronggirl]

Served - Chapter 5

New chapter time!  I meant to post during the week, but we had multiple softball games and then a field trip this week, and there was just no way!  Anyway...

This is an important chapter to me.  I feel really strongly about the subject matter here, and it’s what drove me to write this story in the first place. More author notes at the end of the story - I’ve got some personal stuffs for you today lol

Thanks as always to the most excellent @13starbuck42 for some really outstanding beta-ing (I don’t care, mr. dictionary, it’s a word now) in this chapter; I wrote pretty emotionally, and you helped so much!!  Tagging @today-in-fic

Catch up with Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 and Chapter 4!

Chapter 5 – Escape

By Monday, it seemed Daryl had all but forgotten about the scene at the bowling alley.  Dana still felt a little weird about it, but it seemed odd to bring it up again, so she decided to drop it and move on.  She didn’t mention it to anyone either, especially Melissa; she knew exactly what Missy would have to say.  Besides, she was completely in control.  Dana Scully didn’t let things get out of control.

School plodded along as expected for the rest of the week, but Dana felt a bit uneasy when she was with Daryl.  It was actually a little off-putting, because Daryl seemed oblivious. Dana may not have had much experience with relationships in her young life, but that didn’t necessarily mean she was completely innocent when it came to guys and expectations.  Her sister had made sure of that.  While outwardly it seemed she let the startling episode slide into oblivion, Dana had, in truth, logged it away in her mind for further study.  She knew one thing for absolute certain - she didn’t intend to be caught unaware again.

The football field was a bustling hotspot of activity in September.  In December, however, the only thing going on there after school was people training for cross-country, which made it an ideal place to hang out.  And that was exactly what Dana found herself doing on a blustery Thursday afternoon.  After school, Daryl shepherded her to the bleachers where a few friends were waiting, despite her insistence otherwise.

“You know I’ve got a huge Chem test tomorrow, Daryl.  I really need to get home,” Dana said, exasperated.  She was getting a bit tired of being pushed around and treated like she wasn’t able to make her own decisions.  She had a life, damnit.

“Come on, babe, we’re just gonna go sit and hang out for a few.  Lisa and Sharla said they were really hoping you’d be there; something about “testing trones” or whatever.  I don’t know,” Daryl shrugged, flipped his hair back, and slung his arm over Dana’s shoulder as he steered her toward the football field.

Dana was afraid if she rolled her eyes any harder they would stick.  She knew Daryl was completely full of shit. He was just manipulating her; he was not that stupid.  She was not going to stoop to that level; he knew that wasn’t right, she did not have to correct him, damnit.  Her brother was always calling her an insufferable know-it-all, but that ‘testing trones’ bullshit was so stupid it made her stomach roll.

“Testosterone, Daryl.  I know you know that; don’t try to sound like a dumbass.”  Dana glanced over at Daryl, prepared to continue arguing with him about why she couldn’t join them, only to meet his slightly crestfallen face and downturned eyes.  She melted a little, despite her resolve.  “Fine, I’ll come for like, half an hour.  Then I’ve got to get home.”

They found their friends in the bleachers just as the track athletes were stretching and getting ready to put in a few laps.  The group chatted amicably about the upcoming Winter Semi-Formal, but before long they started to trickle away in pairs.  Eventually, Dana found herself sitting alone with Daryl on the aluminum bench.

“Let’s walk, babe,” Daryl said.  “This seat’s getting kinda cold.”

They meandered along the track until Daryl suddenly turned back toward one of the buildings, and Dana got the distinct impression that she was being herded again, though she couldn’t figure out why would they be going back toward the school.  The buildings would all be locked by now, and Daryl didn’t exactly crave scholastic achievement.

It didn’t take long, though, for Dana to discover just what Daryl had in mind.  There was a narrow alleyway between the equipment shed and the locker room. Daryl slipped in, pulling her behind him.  It obviously wasn’t a newly discovered hiding spot; there were cigarette butts and beer cans on the ground.  But the squiggly feeling in the pit of Dana’s stomach told her Daryl wasn’t interested in lighting up or drinking.

Dana took three steps into the small space and Daryl shoved her roughly up against the brick, digging his hips into her hard and pinning her to the wall with his hands on her shoulders.  The shock of such force took Dana by complete surprise.  Their physical relationship had been fairly gentle up to that point.  Dana had even tried to take things further with him once, but either he hadn’t been interested at the time, or it simply hadn’t gone as well as she’d expected.  She wondered if she had been completely wrong about Daryl...but at the same time, she thought it was kind of sweet, respectful even.

This was not.

This was crude, and pushy, and wrong. Daryl had her shoulder pinned back with one hand while the other sharply grasped her hair, forcing her face up to his.  He pulled her into a jarring  kiss, pressing into her hard enough to be uncomfortable. Dana tried to put her hands on his chest and push away, but he ignored her and tightened the heated embrace.  She finally managed to break the kiss by wrenching her mouth away and turning her face.  Daryl continued his assault on her neck as she tried to catch her breath.

“Daryl, stop it!  What the hell are you doing?!” Dana exclaimed.  She pushed again, harder this time, and managed to get him to disengage long enough to meet her eye.

Daryl grinned at her, feral.  “What?  I just think it’s time we take this to the next level.”  He leered at her now, and winked like he was letting her in on some big secret.  “Don’t fight it, Dana.  You’ll enjoy it, I promise.”  He reached for her again.

“Are you insane?!  I’m not having sex with you in broad daylight; we’re practically on the football field, Daryl.  This is ridiculous!  I’m going home.” Dana turned on her heel, ready to stomp away, but as she glanced out between the buildings, she noticed the group of Daryl’s friends.  They had seen everything, the whole show.  Her blood was boiling; she was furious.

Daryl’s arm shot out and savagely gripped her wrist.  “We’re not done here.  You’re not going anywhere.”  He ignored it when she flinched slightly as he twisted the skin of her wrist painfully.

Dana look back at him with a glare so razor-sharp it could’ve cut glass.  “I don’t need your permission to leave.  Let me go, Daryl.  Now.”

Daryl yanked her hard, slamming her back into his body, and smirked at her.  “And if I don’t?  You’re awfully tiny to be bossing me around.”

“I won’t ask you again, Daryl.” Dana’s voice had lowered to almost nothing; she was livid.  “Let go of me and walk away.”

Daryl sneered.  “You didn’t ask the first ti—”

Dana drove a sharp knee up into Daryl’s groin as hard as she could, intent on driving his nuts into his brain.  When he was doubled over, yowling in pain, she grabbed the back of his head and shoved him face-first into the brick wall.  Daryl smacked his smug face so hard that he bloodied his nose and knocked out a tooth before he fell to the ground groaning.  Dana covered her mouth in surprise and hurried away.

“You bitch!” Daryl yelled, and she heard his friends laughing from across the field as they made their way over to check out the wreckage.

Sometimes it really paid off to have an older brother, especially one who loved to mess with you all the time. Thanks to Bill, Dana had learned early on how to physically protect herself.  Not that she’d ever kneed Bill in the groin, of course, but she sure was glad she knew how.

~Author Notes:  In case you don’t know this about me already, I’m a junior high librarian, so I’m with kids aged 10-13 on the regular.  That’s a tough age for everyone, and now more than ever, we have an extremely high percentage of students living without stable homes and little in the way of stable parenting situations.  While this doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t get the love and attention they need, it does sometimes mean we see kids who don’t get the sex education they need.  Unfortunately, we have seen a lot of these kids at such young ages engaging in things they just aren’t ready for, and then are so confused and upset.  The worst ones, though, are the ones who are victims to being forced in some way.  At my level, that’s usually through rumors and gossiping, which is painful in itself.  Anyway, I spend a substantial amount of time now talking to kids, especially girls, about how to protect themselves and be strong and intelligent, but we all know that sometimes that’s just not enough.  I’m trying to do my part by raising kind, respectful boys who know what’s right, but the world is an ugly place.  If you need help, or if you know someone who does, don’t ever be afraid to reach out to someone.  A teacher, a pastor, a parent or a friend’s parent, someone you trust that you can talk to.  Despite what you see in the news and various media today, there are still some good people in the world.  And no matter where you are, my door (and my inbox) is always open.  I learned a long time ago through my own personal trials that a successful life didn’t necessarily mean standing on my own, but learning to lean on those that loved me and could help me find my way until I truly could.  I love you, @acefamilydawg . You have been a rock for me for 23 years, and I am beyond blessed to have you.  You’re my homie for life, boo.

#xfiles #fanfic #high school AU #served

[strawberry-skies-xx]

you wingless thing

C H A P T E R   S E V E N 

tags: rape/non-con, dead dove: do not eat, geralt / jaskier, original female character, original male character, angst with a happy ending, angst, angst and feels, rape, past rape/non-con, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced abuse, emotional hurt/comfort, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, emotionally repressed, fae jaskier, fae magic, hurt jaskier, torture, revenge, past torture, hurt/comfort, past abuse, jaskier whump, feral jaskier, creature jaskier, inhuman jaskier, eventual happy ending, love confessions, idiots in love, wing kink, homoerotic wing grooming

author’s note: so, first off, this is a really self-indulgent fic and if it doesn’t make sense then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

second off, a mention of rape/non-con in this chapter, and a fade-to-black scene of it

scheduled mondays, wednesdays, and fridays

main masterlist | story on ao3 | next chapter >>

It’s mid-afternoon and Geralt is spending his third day testing the scents and magic humming around the vast array of oils and soaps in the bath when one of Nyla’s servant boys comes to get him.

He hears the boy’s footsteps and sets down the vial of oil he’s holding, corking it and rising from his crouch on the side of the bath. Nyla hadn’t given him anything else to do in the room while she locked him in for hours on end, so he had to find something to do or he’d go insane worrying about Jaskier, and the oils and soaps have just enough magic tied to them that Geralt finds new layers every day.

The boy raises an eyebrow, standing in the doorway, and Geralt can practically smell the condescension and dislike rolling off of him. He sighs, walking past the boy and out into the main room without saying a word. Geralt should’ve known that Nyla, of all people, would have servants that happened to hate Witchers rather than fear them. The boy’s expression is something very close to a sneer as he opens the door and leads Geralt out, the magic enchanting the door falling for just a moment to let him out.

The noble mansion is bigger than he thought it would be; the hallways are long and winding, and the ceilings rise high above them as Geralt is led downstairs. The staircase - and, the whole mansion, really - is overly extravagant, trimmed in ornate, decorative gold and spiraling down to the first floor. Geralt doesn’t understand why the nobility need such extravagance, other than greed and vanity. In his opinion, he’d rather sleep under the stars or in a small, cramped inn with all of his possessions either on him or in a saddlebag than spread out over this lavishness. It’s more efficient, versatile, and easier to move around in general - plus, much less likely to be stolen.

But, the nobles will live life as they wish, and he doesn’t have much time to judge them anyway because the servant boy is leading him into what looks like a living room and Jaskier is there, sitting in his black dress on an ottoman, while Nyla is sitting in a soft armchair in front of him with a tray of fruits on her lap. They’re both sitting, but there’s something about the way the ottoman is lower than Nyla’s chair that makes the positions seem like Jaskier is the lower one in this relationship - which, Geralt doesn’t put it past Nyla for that to be her exact reason why.

Nyla holds a strawberry in her fingers and offers it to Jaskier - and that’s when Geralt sees the ropes, trapping Jaskier’s hands behind his back, confirming his observation that Jaskier is being made to be the submissive one - though, Nyla can’t expect the fae to actually follow along with her plans. He watches as Jaskier leans forward, taking the strawberry delicately between his teeth before pulling away, and derives some strange satisfaction from seeing him do it with as little contact with Nyla as possible. He thinks it’s on purpose, too, because a slight hint of satisfaction threads through Jaskier’s scent as well.

Jaskier turns to see Geralt walking in and he grins, completely ignoring the displeased frown on Nyla’s face as she watches him. “Geralt!” he says brightly - almost too brightly. Geralt has learned enough of Jaskier’s nuances that he can see when he’s faking - and he is definitely faking. His scent is an overwhelming, confusing mix of fear and pain, contentment and Nyla’s magic all at once, and his entire body is tense from where he sits bound on the ottoman. Geralt can feel both Nyla’s magic and Jaskier’s magic humming around him, locked in a silent war with each other - which, he can feel Nyla winning, because her magic isn’t trapped like Jaskier’s.

Nyla looks at Geralt as the servant boy runs off somewhere else, emerald eyes sharp, and indicates the wall to Geralt’s right with her head. “Go stand over there, quietly. I want to finish my time with my songbird in peace.”

Geralt tries not to growl at my songbird - Nyla has absolutely no claim over Jaskier except for a month-long contract she practically forced him into. It’s a close thing, but Geralt stays just barely silent and walks over to the wall she indicated, standing with his back against it. He doesn’t miss how this position puts him behind Jaskier, so the fae is forced to focus on Nyla as she selects another piece of fruit, yet Geralt has a near-perfect view of the proceedings. A surge of irritation rises in Geralt at this obvious claim Nyla is trying to lay on Jaskier, even though he knows Jaskier won’t stand for it either if she goes too far.

Jaskier, again, takes the piece of cantaloupe she’s offering him with his teeth and without touching her, and Geralt senses the harsh edge of anger on her scent. She pushes her fingers purposefully forward on the next piece, forcing Jaskier’s tongue to brush against them, and the fae’s scent simmers with irritation as this continues, wings folding tight against his back and body still tense. Geralt studies Jaskier’s scent, which is a confusing blend of fear and pain and contentment, and then focuses on the magic humming around the room. He didn’t think Nyla would try to force Jaskier to feel content using her magic, but his scent says it all and her magic is far too close to Jaskier to simply be existing around them. Geralt doesn’t want to know what Nyla did to Jaskier to make the fear and pain so potent in his scent - he only wants to make her pay for it once they finish this deal.

The third time Nyla tries to force Jaskier to give her pleasure by taking some lewd enjoyment of the hand feeding, he bites down hard and she yanks her finger away with a gasp. Jaskier smiles as he finishes chewing the fruit, blue eyes sharp and scent threading with satisfaction as he looks at her. “Even I have my limits, Nyla,” he says neutrally, but there’s a hint of warning in his tone and Geralt tries not to smile as Nyla’s lip curls in frustration, huffing, and she sets aside the tray, standing up suddenly.

Geralt smells the fear in Jaskier’s scent increase, and he tenses, adrenaline rushing through him as he prepares to protect the fae, consequences be damned. It was Nyla’s decision to let him come down here, and if she expects him to stand aside while she works out some kind of twisted punishment for not indulging her own pleasure, then she is sorely mistaken. Geralt won’t hesitate to protect Jaskier - the fear in his scent is sharp and acrid and sets Geralt on edge. He’ll be all too happy to work off this tense energy on the sorceress.

Nyla doesn’t do anything, however - only turns to face them both. “Follow me,” she orders, and turns without looking to see if they would actually obey, walking down the hallway.

Geralt doesn’t move from the wall. Jaskier looks over at him from where he sits, hands still tied behind his back - which sends another rush of anger through Geralt every time he notices it - and his blue eyes are filled with trepidation, fear tinging his scent. Geralt hates it; hates how Nyla is using the fae’s weakness against him, powerful as he is.

Geralt pushes off of the wall and walks over to Jaskier as he stands up. Wordlessly, he deftly unties the rope from his arms and lets it fall on the floor, shoving down the warmth that fills him at Jaskier’s resulting smile and the faint scent of dandelions that slowly blooms in his scent, and walks down the hallway, listening to Jaskier follow him.

They find Nyla in the grand ballroom, where there’s servants rushing about making last-minute preparations, and she stands and waits for them to stop in front of her. Her eyes flick to Jaskier’s freed arms and her lips twitch, the mostly-faded edge of anger in her scent rising. Geralt tenses, hands drifting to a sword that isn’t there.

“You will both sit at the high table with me during the banquet,” she says, in a tone that leaves no room for argument - not that they could, anyway. “And you,” she looks at Jaskier, “will sing and play for us when I tell you to.”

A low growl rises in Geralt’s throat at that - Jaskier is being shown off, used for his abilities. He’s nothing more than a possession to Nyla, something that plays and sings on command like a music box, does whatever else she wants. It’s sickening, but Geralt can’t do anything, he reminds himself. He is not going to ruin Jaskier’s chances at getting his magic back because he can’t control himself and let the fae make his own decisions, even if they hurt him.

So, Geralt pushes the growl down and stays quiet, following Nyla as she leads them to the high table. “Sit down. The guests will be arriving soon. I expect you both to have proper manners,” she orders, a threat in her voice. Geralt silently sits on her left side, and watches as Jaskier takes the seat to her right when she points to it. He wonders why she makes Jaskier her right hand, especially when she promised Geralt the right side this morning, when they’re only there for another three weeks - the statement she makes is useless. Jaskier is only a bard as far as the humans are concerned - no one in that court will know he’s a fae, and so they won’t get Nyla’s subtle power play at keeping him under her control. It would’ve made a much stronger statement by keeping Geralt on her right side, more than it is by putting him on her left side.

But, Geralt isn’t interested in dissecting the thought processes of insane, manipulative sorceresses, so he watches as Nyla walks away and glances at Jaskier. He looks a bit pale - his scent burns with fear, and he’s nearly trembling in his seat. Geralt frowns, concern rising in him.

“Jaskier?”

Jaskier’s blue eyes snap to him - they’re wide, scared. It takes him a moment to reply, and even then his voice is shaky and stilted.

“Erynd,” he says, clipped. “He-“

He stops and glances down, a bitter note creeping into his voice.

“He took me to parties like this.” Jaskier gestures out at the ballroom, speaking in a numb, detached tone. “I would sit on his right hand, exactly like this. He would… well. Entertain himself . ”

Nausea starts to rise in Geralt’s throat at the implications of those words. He swallows as Jaskier continues.

“He never could keep his hands to himself. Was always touching, feeling. Rubbing,” he says, after a pause. He gives a bitter, humorless smile and a clipped laugh with the same tone.

“And when he got really drunk, or when he had a bad day, he would take my wrist and pull me onto his lap. Sometimes he would make me squirm in front of all the nobility there, would call me things like- his little lark,” Jaskier says, and Geralt feels the fae’s dormant magic stir with anger, anger deeper and more vengeful than anything he’d ever seen or felt himself.

“And other things, of course. If he wasn’t doing it for the nobility, he’d do it for himself. Just to see me squirm. Or sing - he called the noises I made singing.”

Geralt is having a very hard time keeping his lunch, and his anger, down. Whatever he might’ve imagined he would do to Erynd if he had stayed, it’s nothing compared to what he wants to inflict on the man now. He stays quiet, though, and tries not to lash out.

“You’re not there anymore,” he says instead, after a few moments. It’s not the best words for comfort - they really don’t mean anything, because whether he’s there or not doesn’t mean Erynd doesn’t haunt his mind still, but Geralt can’t think of anything else past his anger and nausea, and he was never good with words in the first place.

Jaskier nods. “I know. It’s just- far too similar. Erynd didn’t like to be bored. Had to be entertained somehow.”

Geralt wants to respond, but Nyla is walking closer and he settles for quietly seething as she sits in her seat between the two and the guests start arriving - all nobility, finely dressed and entirely oblivious of the captured fae and Witcher in their midst. Not that they would care, anyway - they’re just as self-centered and arrogant as Nyla. If it wasn’t the sorceress trying to subdue them, it would be the nobility.

Several hours pass with them watching the festivities. Geralt can smell the fear on Jaskier only increase as the night goes on, spiking and almost making Geralt flinch with the intensity of the acrid scent when Nyla reaches out to the fae beside her, brushing his hair back from his face with a predatory smile that puts Geralt even more on edge, if that’s possible.

“Songbird,” Nyla says suddenly, turning to Jaskier, whose blue eyes widen and fear increases. “Go.”

He nods, eyes flicking to meet Geralt’s, before he stands up and walks down to the main floor. The band hands him what appears to be a lute when he walks up, and he takes it seemingly without any apprehension. Geralt hopes he knows how to play, and doesn’t embarrass himself in front of an entire court - because he knows Nyla won’t take kindly to that either. He couldn’t care less about the nobility, it’s Nyla he’s worried about.

Turns out, Jaskier does know how to play. His trapped magic stirs around him as his voice rises, fingers strumming the lute like he’s practiced it his whole life, and he doesn’t stay on the stage for long. Soon, he’s out mingling with the crowd, making dramatic gestures and drawing everyone’s attention to him, dress swaying around him like air. Geralt wonders if he’s subconsciously infusing his magic into his performance, he’s so entrancing. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Nyla watching the fae as attentively as Geralt is, with a small, predatory smirk on her face, and he would be worried, but he’s too focused on watching Jaskier himself to do anything. Not like he could, anyway.

Geralt - and the entire ballroom - loses himself in Jaskier’s singing, until he’s stumbling back up to the table, having somehow had wine between songs, skin flushed red and clothes and hair disheveled. Nyla’s eyes skim down his body with the same predatory smirk, and Geralt follows her gaze, but he’d much rather slowly take Jaskier apart in his bed - and with consent - than whatever Nyla is planning.

Suddenly, guilt flashes through him at the thought that he’s doing the same thing Nyla is, and objectifying Jaskier, and he looks away. The fae’s under enough stress as it is being desired by a manipulative sorceress, he doesn’t need Geralt to add onto it. He’s a Witcher, after all - no creature as beautiful as Jaskier would ever want him.

“Good job, songbird,” Nyla purrs, reaching out to slip her arm around Jaskier’s waist and pull him close. Geralt shoves down a growl at the fear that suddenly rolls off the fae, sensing his entire body tense as soon as Nyla touches him. He can’t ruin Jaskier’s agreement, he tells himself. Not until Jaskier himself tells him to. It’s the only thing preventing him from attacking Nyla right then and there, the fact that Jaskier would be happier if he didn’t.

The banquet comes to an end around midnight, and Nyla stands up, arm still around Jaskier’s waist as he stands beside her. She waves over one of the servants, leaning over to whisper in her ear.

The servant girl nods and Nyla smiles darkly before stepping past her, taking Jaskier with him. Geralt growls low in his throat and the servant girl’s fear suddenly overrides Jaskier’s, drawing his attention to her. He frowns, pushing down the growl, watching her grow slightly more confident as he makes himself less threatening.

“Mistress has told me to lead you back to your rooms,” she says timidly, in a voice which would’ve been barely audible to anything but Witcher hearing. Geralt glances up at Jaskier and Nyla, who are halfway across the ballroom, and Nyla has her arm still around Jaskier’s waist, the fae pulled almost uncomfortably close to her. He can smell her arousal from here - and can smell his fear.

“Is Jaskier joining me?” he asks. The girl looks out at the two, and then back at Geralt, the look in her eyes confirming what he suspected. He sighs, suppressing the familiar anger. “Fine. Take me, then.”

The girl nods and turns, walking Geralt back up to his rooms in silence and running away as soon as he is locked in the room. Geralt lets out a breath, suddenly exhausted from keeping his guard up all night and worrying about Jaskier, and he quickly strips into his smallclothes before falling onto the bed and sinking quickly into sleep.

He doesn’t notice Jaskier not join him that night, or feel the panicked stirrings of his trapped magic in the room, or smell the sharp, acrid scent of terror mixed with arousal.

next chapter >>

#the witcher netflix #geraskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia

[gonnabesyk]

October 23rd, 2018 6:05pm

I’ve been very busy lately and haven’t had much time to update this blog! Let’s talk about what’s been going on:

My nephews got their report cards last Wednesday. Alex did great - Ben.. not so much! But Ben is somewhat mentally impaired (that’s the truth! I’m not saying it to be mean), so he did alright too, considering. Months ago I told them I’d let them play the Nintendo Switch if they did well in school, and I made good on that promise!

I arranged for them to spend most of the day with me Saturday; got some Halloween snacks, made up a couple of little treat bags, got them some Minecraft socks, and picked up a couple of pumpkins to carve with them. They played Mario Party & Mario Kart for a little bit, and just as we were getting ready to carve pumpkins, my mom (who was out with my sister) called me up panicking and shouting not to carve pumpkins with the boys, then hung up. I was… baffled. She sent me a text a few minutes later saying my sister had apparently made plans to carve pumpkins with the kids that evening and would probably have a meltdown if she found out they’d already carved pumpkins with me. I was ‘stealing her thunder’ :T So we played Mario Oddyssy until they got home. I was a little sad - my sister gets insanely jealous whenever anyone else spends time with the kids, but we had a fun day regardless, and I think it meant a lot to them.

Later that afternoon, Jim and I went to Petco to get more cat food and on our way out stopped to see the ferrets. They had 2 kits - a dark sable and a blaze. Welp, I absolutely fell head-over-heels for the blaze. I asked an employee if I could see her and she told me no…! Not unless I was going to buy her. She looked so helpless and sad.. I just couldn’t leave her there. It was a very impulsive purchase on my part, but sometimes an animal just captures your heart and you can’t walk away! Unfortunately, she is a Marshall Farms baby. They wouldn’t let me hold her until we got to the check-out, but as soon as I took her out of the box I saw the tattoos :( I’m disappointed to know I supported a company with such poor breeding practices once again. I would be thrilled to see them shut down permanently. At the same time, I’m grateful for the opportunity to raise another ferret kit. So many conflicting emotions. I’m considering this a rescue since there’s a very good chance she might have been adopted by a child/young adult who would have neglected her.

On the way home, she climbed up my jacket and gave me a kiss on the lips. Then, about 10 minutes later, she suddenly became very aggressive and latched onto my finger! She’s the first ferret to ever draw blood. Hoooly moly, did that hurt! I tried to pry her mouth open and she latched onto the thumb on my opposite hand, drawing blood again. That was three days ago - I’ve since learned these aggressive episodes are triggered by certain fabrics. She likes to chew (teething, maybe?) and if you interrupt her, she’ll attack. She was chewing on my jacket on the way home and when I reached down to pet her she must have thought I was gonna try to stop her. Luckily, I grew up trying to tame feral cats, so I’m not afraid of being bitten or scratched! I’m glad she drew blood on me and not a kid - their parents may have taken her back to the store or worse..

Chewing is a huge concern for ferrets! They’re prone to deadly GI blockages because their digestive tracts are so short and narrow. The other morning I woke up to find Maple happily grazing on her bed. I took it away immediately and now have to watch her closely. She was romping around while I was folding laundry last night - I’m sure you can imagine what a disaster that was! I’d pry her off one article of clothing only for her to latch on to another. She threw a fit each time I scruffed her, haha. I told her I was sorry to ruin her fun, but if she ever wants to sleep in the big ferrets’ cage, we have to break her of this habit ASAP! She was hissing and screeching (a sound I’ve never heard before!). I know it’s terrible, but I couldn’t stop laughing.. I’m trying to teach her to chew on hard plastic teething rings instead of blankets; she’s not happy about it.

Anyway, Mae-Mae is the cutest and I can’t wait to get to know her better! She takes up most of my time now - something I’m thankful for, because I have less time to mope about other junk.

Attached is a photo of the weather for this week. Lovely, lovely! Every time I go outside I fill my lungs with that beautiful, crisp, fall air. I feel like a completely different person now that summer has officially ended! It’s as if the past several months were all just a bad dream and I’m actually awake now - every time an acorn bounces off the roof or I hear a crow cackling, I feel a surge of positive emotions. Many people associate fall with death, and I suppose I do too since my dad passed in the fall… But it doesn’t depress me the way it might others! I experience a sort of rebirth each year around this time. Life is exciting and new, I want to kick leaves around, stick my hands in pumpkin guts, and drink giant mugs of chai tea. My inner child emerges each October and withdraws the following year in April. I’m happy right now. That’s all I need.

#2018