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#harrystylesera2
mindofharry · 4 years
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Request: Please do one where harry hurts y/n feeling without realising and one of his mates points it out? Dunno but i dreamed about something like this yesterday
omg angst!!!! my favourite 😌😌
it had been a long day. For Harry and y/n. Harry with the new album. Having to look over every small detail and y/n with university. She had her first big project due in two days and she was a pretty studious person so she was excited. Harry obviously loved doing tour bits, it got him really excited. One thing they both had in common was they loved to be busy. They always had to have something to do. Whether it was going to the park, or the cinema, they couldn’t just lounge around. They were that couple.
So sometimes they just have to stop themselves and calm down. It all started when Harry began to have major anxiety and y/n just couldn’t bare to see her baby the way he was. So they both decided that once a month they’d both invite a couple of friends over, watch a movie, have a couple of drinks and just relax. They both really needed it, especially with y/n’s first project coming up. She just needed a friend and boyfriend kind of night.
She expected the night to go smoothly, she promised herself she wouldn’t over do it, but she couldn’t help herself. She made the living room look so soft and warm. Harry had to physically carry her away from the sitting room because she already had 5 candles lit.
“It looks nice baby, doesn’t it” she asked chuffed with herself. Harry nodded kissing her forehead “could’ve done without the hundreds of cushions-“ he said before y/n slapped his shoulder playfully. “It looks good. I know it does” she said proudly.
Soon enough three of Harry’s friends and two of y/n’s friends showed up at their apartment. They all kind of bonded since Harry and y/n got together. They’ve become a group. And y/n’s never really had something like that, so she was forever grateful for college and Harry for helping her with that. “Y/n! It looks so cute in here” her friend Jessica gushed. Y/n giggled and nodded thanking her friend before pulling the two to sit with her.
Once the pizza came everyone began settling down with their wine or beer with a movie in the background. Everyone started talking about their day. It was filled with laughs and smiles and y/n couldn’t be happier with her life at that exact moment. Harry’s friend, Jeff, began to comment on the living room “it looks so cool and cozy. Glenne wouldn’t be able to do that for the life of her” Jeff teased as Glenne rolled her eyes. Y/n giggled at the two turning to harry.
“y/n literally went so crazy. she just had to go and pick at everything about 20 times and put out about 10 different candles” Harry said shaking his head. Nobody took it seriously laughing at his ‘joke’ but y/n couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. she was just being dramatic, but she really didn’t have many friends so this was a big deal for her. To be able to invite somebody around to her apartment was huge for her. She didn’t mean to mess about with everything 20 times. She just wanted everything to be perfect for Harry and her friends.
“Honestly liked it better before” Harry said taking a sip of his beer. Y/n’s cheeks began to hurt from fake smiling. She cleared her throat getting up from the sofa “who wants more wine? Girls why don’t you help me” she said rushing off the kitchen the girls giggling chasing after her.
“You really are dumb” Jeff said sighing. Harry’s head raised up immediately and narrowed his eyes at Jeff “excuse me?”
“Harry you literally just called your girlfriend crazy” Jeff said and Harry sighed shrugging. “She knows I was just messing” Harry said smiling.
“I don’t think she did”
Soon after everyone left and y/n began taking down everything in the living room. Harry paid for most of the rent, so if he didn’t like the decorations and candles, she’ll just sell them.
“Baby-“ Harry said stopping as he saw y/n standing on the sofa taking down the painting she loved quite a lot. “Hey, hey, what are you doing, love?” He asked concerned.
“Oh. I- I don’t really like the decorations in here anymore. It’s a bit....crazy?” She said placing the painting against the wall. Harry’s heart dropped. He thought she knew he was messing.
“Earlier, when Jeff complimented the living room, you know I was messing right?” He asked resting his hands on her hips. she shook her head. “I know, yeah. I’m sorry I just, i don’t have many friends and I wanted this to be perfect haz” she said her eyes watering. “This was meant to be chilled and calming and I’ve turned this into a huge drama” she cried.
“No baby! The living room is great. I love it so much. And tonight was chilled and calming. It wasn’t meant to be perfect ok?” Harry cooed and kissed her forehead.
y/n nodded placing herself back on the couch.
“Come cuddle?”
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mindofharry · 4 years
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we’ll be alright.
in which Harry’s new guitarist Amy is way too cool for him.
WARNING: swearing, angst, drugs, mentions of depression and addiction and Amy being the coolest person ever!! :,))
“you need to go for this job Amy” her brother said to her leaning back in the kitchen chair. She sighed putting her feet on the table before covering her face with her hands that were filled with tattoos.
“I can’t keep doing this for you” he said tears filling up his blue eyes. “Margie and I love you, to pieces, but we can’t have you in the house when you’re like this” he said pulling a hand through his blonde hair.
Amy was living in her brothers, Alex and his wife, margies house until she could find a job. she’s been living there for two years. And she doesn’t plan on leaving any time soon.
“Alex” she begged “I, I need you” she said grabbing his hand while he looked away sniffling. “You don’t love me?” She asked standing up. “It’s all margies fault. we could’ve been this great band. But no! Margie had to ruin everything!” She yelled throwing this chair over.
“I’m sorry alex” she whispered picking up the chair. “Amy you need to find a job and leave” he said wiping his tears.
“I just need time. Just, just I need some money-“ she rambled on before Alex cut her off standing up.
“No! No! Amy you’re 20 and you’re addicted to drugs. You’re ruining my life and yours. Margie and I can’t even try for kids because we have to look after you. And your fucking mess. I am not your dad. I am your brother. If you live under My roof you do not drink or take drugs. So I’m asking you again, get the fuck out of my house” he yelled his face red with anger. Amy stood there shocked and angry. She wasn’t addicted. She’s only done it a few times. Or more. She can’t remember. It helps her forget.
She looks around the kitchen trying to fight her sob. “You finally gave up on me alex” she said smiling. “good luck with the family” she said patting him on the back before going up to their guest room and packing her stuff.
Amy looked at the mirror and stared at herself. She felt nothing. She hated the feeling. And the only time it went a way was when she was having sex or taking drugs. She liked feeling wanted and warm. She liked the feeling of someone call her theirs.
She had all of that when her and Alex has a small band when she was 16 and he was 20. She felt home. She felt warm. She felt wanted.
And looking at herself in the mirror she looked like she needed help. so she packed her bags, and decided to go that interview.
The interview was for a band for Harry styles. She knew who he was. And she wouldn’t lie and say she wasn’t nervous, because she was. This could make her. not as in make her famous, but this could help her get better. And that’s what she wanted, to get better.
She really didn’t look her best. She should’ve showered and got changed but she didn’t have anywhere to go. And she didn’t want to upset her brother any further.
Music was the only thing that was consistent in her life. the only thing that never gave up on her or walked out. When her father was around, he used to play her some pretty cool music. Music was a big thing in her family. It got them through tough times. When her mother left first her dad pulled through his depression playing them music and teaching them random facts about Stevie nicks and mick jagger to distant himself from the pain of his only love leaving him and their children. Amy never understood why she left. Why he left. But Alex always told her that if he ever left for whatever reason just play Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac, and all the sadness would go away. So she did. She played it everytime he gave up on her.
she walked to the building where the interview was taking place puffing out her cigarette and pushing up her sunglasses. Her blonde hair was such a mess, her hair was still some what curled from the day before, her eyeliner and eyeshadow really showed that she had been through something. Her outfit consisted of a navy tank top, skinny black jeans and doc martins. Her neck was filled with necklaces and her arms and hands were filled with tattoos.
She sighed looking over to see a few people looking a lot more presentable than her walking in to the buliding with their instruments. She looked down at her suitcase and guitar and shrugged walking up closer to the building.
“Now or never” she murmured to herself putting out the cigarette. She walked into the building before looking around at all the people. She spotted a girl, older than her, judging her slightly. Amy smirking walking over to her pulling down her sunglasses.
“Are you homeless?” The girl asked when Amy sat down. Amy looked at the girl smiling “yes, I’m also very high at the moment” she said grinning. The girl shook her head, her brown hair moving in the tight pony tail she had placed it in.
“Are you homeless?” Any asked and the girl rolled her eyes pulling out a piece of paper to look over.
“you know, I hope you get the job” Amy said leaning back. “Well, I also want the job, but you should get it too. But I want it as well” she said to the girl. “You don’t make any sense-“ the girl said before a voice interrupted them.
“Were trying to do this as quick as possible. So please if you don’t have anything ready or you’re just here to see harry, please leave” the guy said looking down at his clip board. Amy didn’t prepare anything. Like she was actually going to leave like most of the other people.
“Ok good. We’re going to do this in alphabetical order, so first up we have,,,, Amy Perkins” he asked looking around. “That’s me wish me luck” she said to the girl beside her before standing up.
“That would be I!” She called out pulling along, basically her home, before tripping up slightly. “Whoops”
She walked into the room, which was filled with males. The guy from outside, Harry styles, and some producers and managers she guessed.
Harry looked her up and down biting back a smile, he looked over at Jeff, pulling a face and Jeff just shrugged.
“Oh shit, it’s dark in here” Amy said pulling off her sunglasses.
Jeff rolled his eyes and grabbed his clipboard.
“Ok, Amy you said you live with your brother correct?” He asked and she winced “incorrect” she said clearing her throat “got kicked out: hence the suitcase” she said pointing her hands towards the bag. Harry’s eyes widened before looking over at Jeff again.
“Uh- um you’ve got experience in this right?” Jeff asked and she nodded “traveled a bit in a and with my brother” she said they nodded “why’d you stop?”Harry asked and she pointed at him “ that is for me to know and you to never find out” she said pulling out her guitar.
“What are you playing then” Jeff sighed Amy shrugged. Jeff groaned and closed his eyes “Jesus, I told you to go home if you didn’t prepare anything” he said and she stuck her tongue out at him “ like I was actually going to go home! I’m homeless” she said before putting her hair up.
Harry shook his head and thought this must of been some joke. Until he heard the guitar. She had played some riff off of one of the Beatles songs. They loved her immediately after that.
she was now part of CHAASM!
and she knew she’ll be alright.
let me know if you want a part two! :,))
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mindofharry · 4 years
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Request: Hii!! I love your writing & I was wondering if you could write about the song She. Like they can feel like they’re soul mates but he doesn’t know who she is or where she is & then one day they randomly meet & he’s like ‘I’ve seen you in my dreams before’. 💜🌻
OK I LOVE THIS 😤😤 n thank you !!! 💗💗 possibly one of my favourites 🥺🥺
it started with a dream.
Harry would see her every night when he slept. He didn’t know who she was. or why she was in his dreams. but he didn’t mind. She was beautiful. an angel. it would always be the same dream. They would be in a field, full of flowers and it was warm and there were no clouds in the sky. It was quiet and peaceful.
She would be wearing a long pink dress with a daisy chain around her brown curls. she would be smiling and spinning around in the field while Harry dressed in his favourite shorts and top would lay on the ground picking at the grass while giggling looking at his beauty. He would always go to bed super early just to see her face, to see her smile.
He would never tell his friends about these dreams. it was hard to explain as he felt he had met the girl before, he was in love with her. Without even knowing her name, where she was from, he had never met her, and yet he was utterly in love with her. Her smile, her hair, her giggle. Even the way she twirled around in the field. He was in love with everything. Every detail. And it was frustrating being in love with a person who was only reachable when you were sleeping, he wanted to talk to her so bad.
Soon Harry didn’t want to sleep anymore, because he knew she wouldn’t be there in the morning. He wouldn’t be able to kiss her neck or cuddle her. He wouldn’t be able to make her breakfast in bed and watch stupid rom com movies with her. He wouldn’t be able to listen to her giggle to his stupid jokes. He wouldn’t be able to fight and make up with her. He wouldn’t be able to marry and have kids with her. He didn’t want to dream anymore. So he stopped.
one night, a very frustrated Harry walked down his street hands in his pocket only thinking of his love, not paying attention to anything but the girl that lived in his dreams.
suddenly he was pushed slightly, he was going to scoff and walk away, but now he’s glad he didn’t. He looked up and saw his angel.
“bubs?”
“Angel?”
He grinned and pulled his shaky hand up to her warm cheek.
“I’ve seen you in my dreams before”
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mindofharry · 4 years
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Hii I send in a request idk if you will do it but if you did I would be very excited about it lol. 💜
Request: I was wondering if you could do a blurb where, you know how ROSALÍA narrates Harry’s vídeo in adore you? Well what if his girlfriend narrates the video instead and her being from spain too and Harry being like all cute and fluffy and all like I was gonna ask ROSALÍA to do it but I think your better and her being all like omg why do you think I’m better than her 😂 is just a concept that came to mind while I was re watching the adore u video 💜
i love this idea!!!! super cute and soft 🥺🥺 thank you for requesting this!! <333
“i could listen to your voice on repeat” Harry said softly nuzzling into his girlfriend, y/n. she just laughed shaking her head and running a hand through his hair. “You’re just so.. Ugh... soft and sweet and I love you” he gushed moving so his chin could sit on her stomach.
“you are the cutest, bebe” y/n said with a giggle kissing both of his cheeks. Harry definitely loved her accent more than he would like to admit. y/n had lived in Spain all the way up to the age of 18, then she decided to go to university in England. She was brought up fluent in English as she knew she would always go to live where the native language was English. Although she was fluent, she would still mess some words up.
for example when she was recording for Harry’s new music video, adore you, she couldn’t say peculiar for the life of her. Harry had laughed so hard as she pouted in the studio recording booth. In the end she got it and the ending result of the voice over was so cool. She never thought she would be able to anything like that ever. Meeting Harry definitely made her question a lot of things, but for the good.
“Your voice is so sexy and Spanish” he said kissing her neck. “Yes, bebe, I was born and lived in Spain for 18 years. That would explain why my voice is Spanish” she teased and he rolled his eyes.
“wanna know a fun fact?” He said and played with her long curly hair. She nodded smiling “i was going to ask Rosalía. You know that singer you like? Hmm” he asked teasing her. The minute y/n heard that name she freaked out. She loved the singer but she thought of how many other ways she was better than her.
“But my Bebe, is so much better...and sexier” Harry added and y/n giggled and pouted.
“but why? I’m not anything special” she said and Harry rolled his eyes.
“give over Bebe! You’re beautiful, talented and now you can say peculiar!”
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mindofharry · 4 years
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Fine line.
In which Amy gives Harry one of her songs.
WARNING: cursing, Amy being really cute 🥺🥺 mentions of drugs and depression. and maybe a bit of angst??? 😳
Amy had always loved to write songs. At 8 years old she would make all her friends dress up like Stevie nicks and make them dance around to her song, with the help of her brother of course. She would make the clothes, produce and direct the music video. She knew that’s what she wanted to do at a very young age. Even if she didn’t get a change in the limelight she didn’t mind being behind the scenes. But everyone knew Amy was made for that life. The rockstar life.
But with a few big bumps along her journey, she had done it. She had made it. She did something for herself that made her feel whole, and loved. She did something that her parents would be proud of. She did something without drugs and sex. And she did it with the help of a few people.
After the extremely messy audition for Harry’s styles band they immediately took her on. Harry and Jeff didn’t want to miss the opportunity with her. She was clearly talented. But they knew something was up with her. But Amy never told. On the outside she was this care free rockstar. She always looked a mess, but a beautiful mess. But on the inside she felt cold. And worthless. The only time she was fully happy was when she was taking something. But that never lasted for long. The feeling of being on cloud 9 was everything to her. She just wanted to feel like that everyday. And now she gets that, from doing something she loves.
The crowds are something they all can’t get over. Thousands of people from all over the world go to see Harry and the band preform. It makes her feel wanted and loved. And that’s all she’s ever wanted.
Amy and Harry had become close as had the other members of the band. Harry’s supporters had loved his friendship with Amy and Mitch mostely. They loved the way Amy would jump around on stage and she would tell some jokes if they had time. And they all knew she made Harry extremely happy. And that’s all the wanted for him. During the second night at Mexico City she had taken the lgbtq + flag on stage with her wrapping it around her as she played. And in Tokyo she had really went all out putting away her guitar and dancing around Harry.
She wasn’t too big on social media but Sarah and Clare had made her an Instagram page. She rarely posted pictures of herself, but when she did she would be showing off her latest guitar or a selfie with Mitch or Adam. When she discovered snapchat her and Harry had a great time figuring it out, and the fans went mad. They really were the best of friends. And she’d never had that before. Amy had a lot of friends, but never one friend that she could talk to. All she had was her brother, and most times he wouldn’t understand. But Harry did. She didn’t tell him everything, like her addiction with drugs and her depression, but she did talk about her family. And Harry opened up about his step father dying and the band breaking up.
Travelling and just being around those four people made her life liveable. She wanted to stay. It had really hit Amy hard when she was able to buy her first home. It was closed off and everyone loved to go down there a chill. It was a cosy little cottage down the country. Obviously she had her apartment in London, but this home was everything to her.
She had made sure to get a studio put in when she moved in getting rid of the guest bedroom immediately.
She always kept diaries. She put her experiences and lessons she had or learned in them. But she put meaningless shit in there too, like her first crush or when her brother wouldn’t share the tv. But the diary had some pretty sad and scary experiences.
One she had titled fine line. It was a piece she wrote through her addiction and after her addition. Soon after reading through it, she made it into a song. It was the most beautiful song she had ever wrote or produced. It was so close to her heart and she was really proud of herself when she finished. The pain and the heartbreak was really noticeable in the song. She wanted people to relate. She wanted people to say “thank god I wasn’t the only one” “I’m so thankful I didn’t go through this alone”
“You’ve got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes” she sang with tears in her eyes. She had wrote that after she had destroyed her apartment. She was devoted to getting better. She wanted to get better. But man she hated her self sometimes. She wanted to do better. But why was it so hard? Her therapist had said it was normal to feel like this. But she doesn’t feel normal. She feels weird. Bad weird. And she hates it. She hates the feeling.
“We’ll be alright” the line was written after her audition with Harry. She knew if she wanted to keep this job and make her brother proud that she had to get help. She needed help. Putting we’ll instead of I’ll was a must for her. She wanted everyone to know that we’ll get through it. Together. And so far she was doing alright.
She had kept the song to herself for awhile. She didn’t want to release it now. Her journey was no where near over. She just wanted to keep it a little longer.
But today changed that.
Harry had gone a rough break up with Camille. Amy had met her and she liked her. She could see why Harry had loved her so much. but god he was so sad. Amy hated seeing someone she loved so much in that much pain. She knew how it felt, to have so many people around you, but to feel so alone. He was depressed and honestly felt like his whole world had crashed down. They were all sitting in his studio when she had brought up the idea of him using her song.
“Yeah I’m really stuck on writing at the moment” Harry said stretching on the sofa. “We need you to get some stuff Harry, we talked about this” the producer said and Harry nodded.
Harry was so stuck. Not just in song writing but in life. It felt like being a teenager all over again. He was overwhelmed and anxious that he couldn’t think. He had wrote a few songs but nothing had felt right. Nothing had felt Harry.
“I have something” Amy said looking to Harry who raised his eyebrows “and what is that?” He asked and kept a laugh in. Amy was talented, sure, but never did Harry think about writing her own songs. “Oh shut up” she giggled before pulling out a hard drive.
“Um I wrote this song back when Harry was touring. And it means a lot to me. But I think it relates a lot to what Harry’s going through at the moment” she said with a small smile before plugging in the hard drive to computer and grabbed a Mike and guitar before sitting down.
She sang. And Harry listened.
Harry thought about how much pain she must of been in when she wrote these songs. It was like he had just listened to the best break up song ever. Sarah had come in shortly after Amy started and couldn’t help but tear up. They all knew Amy wasn’t ok.
After she finished Harry wiped his eyes and nodded.
“Fine line. Has a ring to it”
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mindofharry · 4 years
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imagine you and Harry just sitting together listening to each other’s hearts. the only things you could hear were the tv in the background and your crazy beating heart. His hand rested on your stomach as you both are stretched out on the couch. his perfume is filling your nose as you nestle your head in his neck. He moves his hand from your stomach to your back rubbing up and down. Everything is forgotten in that moment. It’s just you, Harry and the overwhelming feeling of want and love.
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mindofharry · 4 years
Text
Anna
In which Harry has a really big crush on Amy.
WARNING: Harry and Amy being the. Fluff and angst! If you have any requests please ask! 🥺
Everyone had a crush on Amy Perkins. She was just that type of person. The person you see and think “I wish I was like her” She played guitar, had tattoos and she had that carefree look everyone craves. She looked like she came straight off of mtv. You felt rebellious after spending time with her. Like you were breaking a law. You would feel so free and happy. She was so kind yet so blunt. Harry guesses that’s why he liked her so much.
Harry and Amy were close. They were so different but just fit together. Amy had never even thought of Harry as more than a friend. They were too close and both of them didn’t have to best track record when it came to relationships, and she didn’t want to take a risk of ruining that relationship. But Harry on the other hand, he loved her. He realised that he loved her when they were in Jamaica on vacation for the album. She was in shorts and a Fleetwood Mac shirt. Her blonde hair was in a bun and she had her nose peircing in looking proper badass. She had offered to braid Harry’s hair for him. And he was glad he said yes. Her hands were so soft in his hair, he wanted to turn around and kiss her right there and then.
But he didn’t. He was afraid. They were so close, and Harry didn’t want to mess things up. She was so mysterious and a part of Harry, the selfish part, wanted to know everything about her. He knew there was something she was hiding. He wasn’t dumb. But he didn’t say anything. And let the love for her grow and grow. Until all he could do was write songs about her. He had about 10 songs about her. One being called anna. He obviously didn’t want to put her name in the song, thinking it would be way too obvious. So he chose anna instead of Amy.
He couldn’t bring it upon himself to put it in the album. It was something for him and him only. Anna was his special thing, the only thing keeping him sane. He wanted nothing more to trace her tattoos and run his soft fingers through her messy blonde hair. He wanted to watch her get undressed and kiss her cheeks when she giggled. He wanted to be the one she smirked at in the bars. The one she brought home, the one she kissed, the one she talked about to her friends and smiled lightly to herself about.
“We need to surprise the fans” Jeff said leaning against the wall in the studio. Harry nodded leaving his head against his hand. “You’ve wrote some pretty good songs you haven’t released yet” Amy said sitting next to him. Harry blushed smiling.
“I say we do medicine and Anna” she said pinching his cheeks before turning to Mitch who nodded as well.
“I’m not sure about anna” Harry murmured and layed back. “Come on! Its such a cool sexy song!” Amy whined pulling Harry up.
He thought about it. And he though hard. Although he wanted to keep it to himself for awhile longer he agreed. It’s not like she’ll figure it out.
“I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body” he sang with a smirk looking straight at amy who was jumping around with her guitar like no one was watching. He bit his lip hearing the fans scream. He laughed over at Amy who had taken off her guitar before grabbing some lgbtq+ flag and wrapping it around Harry.
She looked at him like he was dessert. She bit her lip smacking his ass as she walked back to her guitar leaving Harry confused and shocked.
“Oh, Anna!”
As soon as the show was done Amy was rushing down to Harry’s dressing room. She knew no one would be there as he liked to relax a bit before he went to the hotel or if they went out. She knocked on the door before entering seeing him on his couch with a book in his hand.
“Amy-“ he said smiling before she shook her head and walked in.
“What are you doing?” He said his heart racing as she walked closer to him. She sat right down on his lap. He immediately put his hands on her hips. She leaned down their lips barley touching. “Anna’s a great song haz” she said and he couldn’t speak his heart was in his mouth.
She pressed her lips to his and all he could do was kiss back. This wasn’t a peck on the lips. This was a heated kiss. And Harry’s been in lots of relationships, and he’s had a few one night stands but nothing like this. This was amazing. He felt on cloud 9. Like Amy was a drug and he just couldn’t get enough.
Soon enough Amy broke the kiss leaving Harry wanting more, he became mor confident leaving kisses down her neck as she placed her hand in his hair leaning her head back. It felt so good. Harry knew this wouldn’t last. He didn’t want to be her secret, he didn’t want to be a one night stand, or to be ignored the next day. But he knew that’s what’s going to happen. So he made the most of that night.
And he was right. They never talked about that night again. He left right after leaving Amy asleep on his couch with a note. She was suprised. Upset. She really thought he would stay. She crumbled the note up putting her clothes and shoes back on before leaving the buliding.
She got a taxi back to their hotel before going up to hotel. She walked into her hotel room and cried. The note had said “last night was a mistake. I’ll see you tomorrow. H x”
She was so close. So close to breaking. so close.
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mindofharry · 4 years
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Not fair.
In which Amy starts her own music career and Harry’s really proud.
WARNING: cursing. mentions of suicide, depression and drug addiction. Harry and Amy being cute :,)) I’m using lily Allen’s ‘not fair’ for Amy’s first studio song!! It just reminds me ALOT of her. Enjoy!
Amy was scared. so scared. She wondered what Harry’s supporters would think of her now. How she walked out on Harry just before tour. She couldn’t help but feel guilty, she shouldn’t of done what she did. Obviously she was going to quit at some point. But she never wanted it to be like that. After that day Harry and Amy didn’t talk. They were strangers. Amy hated it. But she was way too stubborn to call or text him. That’s one thing they shared in common. Being way too stubborn for their own good.
After posting some covers and original songs on YouTube she decided it was time to decide what she wanted to do. Did she want to travel around the world? Did she want to go to college? Did she want to pursue her music career?
An email decided that for her.
A few months later Amy was signed onto a record label that she adored. The people there were supportive and listened to every song she wrote or sung. They let her record her own music. She had told them immediately about her past with drugs and her depression. They didn’t turn her away they helped her. Amy was so grateful to have such a supportive team. She just wished it was with Harry.
After getting her first proper single done she decided to an interview. Zane Lowe has been in touch with her before, but now she was finally ready to tell her story. They did it in her apartment. It was all very calm and zane never pushed her for an Amy was very grateful for.
“You have a new single coming out in a few days. Tell me about it!” Zane said with a warm smile. She nodded and bit her lip “it’s not a sad one. This is a fun, really fun song. It’s called not fair. It’s about sex” she said smirking and he nodded “how different is it from your older songs?” He asked.
“Uh. It’s very different. My last couple of songs that I’ve only released on YouTube are really sad songs from really sad times in my life. I wasn’t well when I was writing them. I was really depressed and the only way I could express what I was feeling was I was through songs” she said and paused taking a breathe.
“I was on drugs from 16 to 20” she said and Zayne nodded letting her know it’s ok.
“My songs were all of my emotions. They were all me” she said and looked over to the tv. “They were about times when I nearly killed my self. Where my bipolar was so bad I had quit my job. Something I loved so much” she said smiling sadly.
“How did you over come your depression and addiction. Because it’s an incredible story”
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I- I was kicked out of my brothers house when I was 20. He had told me to get the fuck out of his house. Jesus did I deserve it. I was so off the wall. I can hardly remember any of it. There’s a few moments stuck in my mind. And I’m embarrassed. Really embarrassed. I remember going for my job interview with Harry. And I fucking looked a mess. But I had got the job. So I decided then and there, that this had to stop. I needed help” Amy said and rested her hand on her crossed knee.
“My depression is still here. She likes to come around December mostly. And sometimes around the time I got sober. But I’ve really gotten better. Sometimes I do just want to stay in bed. Or just have a bit of cocaine. Just a bit. But I never do” she paused and looked up at zayne “I’m forever grateful for Harry and the band. Because if i didn’t get that job, I don’t think I’d be alive” she said and straightened herself up.
“It’s really different being by yourself, right?” He asked pushing up his glasses.
“Yes and no. Although I miss the guys. A lot. I feel a lot more true to myself and free. It’s hard being by yourself all the time. But I have my brother, his wife and my little nephew mickey” she said smiling thinking about her family.
“Tell me about your family” he asked and she took a sharp intake.
“Well my mum left when I was really young. I don’t blame her at all. She was really fucking depressed. I had blamed her for most of my teen years. But my brother had told me she was depressed only recently. I was hurt. But I stopped blaming her. I just want her to know that I love her. That we could’ve got help. But it’s all in the past. My dad on the other hand, I really don’t have the time of day for. He had left after things got too hard. And recently tried to get in contact with me asking for money. I used to really love him. He used to play stevie nicks for us everytime we would play outside or before bed. And be taught me how to play guitar. I’m grateful for whatever time we had together. But that’s it” she said and messed with her skirt.
“My brother is the best” she said laughing “he’s super fucking stupid. But I love him. It was just me and him for a while so he was basically mum, dad and brother for me” Amy said with a small smile “he done so much for me. I really don’t know where I’d be without him. His wife is the best and she’s like the sister I never had. Always helping me and supporting me. Mickey or Micheal. He’s my little angel” she giggled.
“He reminds me so much of me it’s unreal” she said and played with her hair “he loves Stevie as much as me and Harry love her” she said and zayne laughed knowing how much they both love her.
“Tell me about Harry” he smirked and she rolled her eyes with a small smirk.
“I really do love Harry. And really grateful for all he’s done for me. He’s made so many opportunities for me and I wish I could tell him how thankful I am for him. And the end of the day I wasn’t happy and my happiness and self love comes before anything else. Harry and I weren’t really on good terms anymore when I left. He had done something’s that hurt me. More than anything. But now, all I want to do is talk to him. Apologise for all the shit I caused, ya know?”
He nodded and put a hand over her hand “your story is remarkable. You should be really proud of yourself” he smiled.
“I am” she nodded “not fair is one of my favourite songs that I’ve wrote so far. It’s just so different. I can’t wait to get on stage” she gushed.
Soon enough not fair was released.
“NOT FAIR. OUT NOW. A!”
To say twitter went crazy was an understatement. She was really fucking proud of herself.
She was invited to jingle bell ball. And shit she was scared. She only had relased the song a few days ago. Although she had a few songs already she was nervous no one would know her. Or they’d be bored.
She wore red bell bottoms with a white heels. Her top was tucked in a bit of cleavage showing. Her hair was messy and so was her makeup. Amy really did want to make a good impression but she didn’t want force it, so she was herself.
She nearly cried when she found out Harry was going to be there too. “Mickey he’s going to be there”she groaned and mickey shook his head “stop being loser Aunty Amy” he said playing with his toys. She laughed and messed up his hair before heading to back to her spot.
Soon enough she was backstage with her brother and his family. And she had her manager sammy with her too. Sammy was a real life angel. She would be an absolute mess if he wasn’t around.
“Are you ready my love?” Sammy asked and she shook her head “no I think I need to check my guitar” she said and he nodded “ok, get everything done. Your guitar is just out of here and upfront. I’ll get your body guards to go with you” he said letting out a breath. Amy rolled her eyes which were full of eyeliner and mascara. She didn’t argue she just followed the men.
She soon came to meet all the backstage workers. She stopped to shake everyone’s hand on the way introducing themselves and letting them talk to her a few minutes. She loved this part of her work. Getting to meet new people. She loved listening. And she loved talking a lot. But not about herself. She loved to just talk. About anything and everything.
She could see her guitar leaning against some equipment. She squealed and ran over to it like it was a child. The body guards laughed to themselves as they watched her tune up with her band that was playing with her.
She started on cherry wine just her playing and singing to herself. Everyone was mesmerised by her. They didn’t crowd her, but they were listening. It was rare to see such a pure artist.
Harry had arrived to the beautiful song. He knew the song well. He played it a few times. Cried and smiled to it. He had watched the interview leaving him sobbing and guilty. She didn’t have to apologise he thought. He just wanted to hug her and kiss her.
she finished her song before smiling. And started talking to her band. Harry stayed put helping his own band.
Amy had spotted him. She smiled and decided it was time to grow up.
Harry looked behind him and saw her smiling coming over. She looked beautiful. The most beautiful women ever.
“Harry” she smiled pulling him into a hug he tensed before he relaxed putting his arms around her.
“hey- hi” he stuttered before she pulled away.
“Love the new songs h. You really did good” she smiled before walking back wards “good luck”
She was up first. She was shitting it.
“Hey” she said into the microphone and the crowd was loud in response. She smiled and started her guitar and started with cherry wine.
Then she did one of her older songs dead to me which was more upbeat. She walked along the the stage singing and dancing.
Her second last song was a cover of Rhiannon which people seem to enjoy.
And then she got to not fair. She walked down the cat walk and smiled at a girl who through up an lgbtq+ flag. Amy winked and pulled the flag around her.
“This is my last song. Thank you for having me. I love you” she said and started singing.
“When we go up to bed, you’re not good, it’s such a shame” she said dancing around in her heels.
“It’s not fair” she sang and pouted.
“And I think you’re really mean”
“I think you’re really mean”
The crowd screamed as she bowed blowing a kiss before she jogged off stage.
Harry looked at her and smiled.
It really isn’t fair.
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mindofharry · 4 years
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your eyes fill with tears as you lean against the wall for support. you felt as if your world had come crashing down, your legs felt like jelly, eventually giving up on you as you slid down the wall. your shaking hands covered your quivering lip as you let out a sob. he said he loved you. he said he wanted to be with you. to laugh and to cry with you. to fight and love with you.
“i just don’t think we’re working anymore” Harry said holding onto your shaking hands. your head raised slowly, tilting a bit to take a good look at your love. you raised your hand to his face placing it on his flushed cheek. you bit your lip and nodded stroking his cheek. you slowly stood from the couch your legs beginning to shake.
you deserved better. you were going to get better.
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mindofharry · 4 years
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Cherry wine.
In which Amy nearly relapses and Harry and Jeff have a decision to make.
WARNING: a sad one, full of angst, tears and life. Drugs and depression are mentioned. Please listen to cherry wine while reading this <3 thank you for your constant support with this series so far! Forever grateful! :,)
after Harry had left Amy that day she felt numb. Harry acted as if nothing happened. And Amy just couldn’t let it go. She didn’t feel warm with him anymore. She didn’t feel happy knowing he didn’t want her. She didn’t feel the joy on stage. Or the excitement playing new chords with him and Mitch. She didn’t feel happy to be alive. Or grateful to have another day left. She wanted to feel happy, or sad, or angry. She just wanted to feel something. But she couldn’t. She could feel anything.
All she could do was was write. And Amy did. She couldn’t sleep. So she wrote. And the songs she wrote were really fucking good. The pain and heartbreak was visible in the words. She named her favourite “cherry wine”
Cherry wine was hers and hers only. She would never give another song to Harry she decided. She would leave him to do this on his own. It is his career she said. Amy didn’t care about Harry anymore.
She filmed a video of her singing cherry wine with the caption. “As sweet as cherry wine”
And after she did that she broke.
She layed in the bath her mascara dripping down her face and body wrinkled from being in the cool water for too long. But she couldn’t bring herself to get out. What was the point? She asked herself. Harry doesn’t want you. Harry doesn’t want you. Harry doesn’t want you. It replayed in her head until she let out a sob. She screamed and yelled and banged her head and scraped her arms. She destroyed the bathroom naked and vulnerable. She sat on the floor her head in her hands making a humming sound.
“He’ll never want you” she said before getting off the white bathroom tiles. She looked at herself in the mirror. Still naked she walked closer to the mirror touching her face. She grabbed a piece of her cheek, then she dragging out her eyes, pouting her lips.
“You’re ugly and worthless Amy” she said as if she was talking to someone else.
She was 17 when she first had an episode. She was grounded by her brother, locked in her room with the windows closed so she couldn’t get out. She had deserved it. She was horrible to her brother, screaming nasty words that definitely weren’t true. She sat in her bedroom calm for an hour. Then she got hyper. Prouncing around her room, jumping on her bed and trying on random clothes. Then she cried, she cried and cried. She destroyed her room. Ripping down posters and throwing pictures of the ground. She broke her chest of drawers and her record player.
She was scared. So scared. She wondered why god chose her to be like this. Why why why. She couldn’t understand. No one could.
She layed in bed in her pyjamas very awake staring at her ceiling. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table. She went through her phone contacts pressing down on drew. He was the one that used to sell her the drugs. She pressed in the message. But she stared at the text. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. She threw her phone at the wall in frustration.
She screamed.
And cried.
Until she grabbed her smashed phone.
And called her brother.
“I need you. Please come. Please-“ she cut herself off with a sob.
Her brother came immediately wrapping his arms around her shaking body. He kissed her head letting out a shaky sigh. Eventually she calmed down letting him take her to her room.
He covered her up and took his shoes off laying down her bed.
“I’m so proud of you for not calling him A” he whispered running a hand through her wet messy hair. “I’m sorry this happens. I’m so sorry” he said wiping her left over tears.
Soon enough she arrived back to work with the band. She still felt numb. Like everything was a dream. Like she was walking a tightrope.
“Amy, Harry and I need to talk to you” Jeff said calling her over to a quiet spot. She didn’t respond just following him over to Harry. She didn’t look at him, she was afraid she might start crying.
“so we need to ask you something. And we need you to be completely honest” Jeff said looking at her with his arms crossed. Amy shrugged leaning back.
“Did you have an addiction to drugs?”
The question caught her off guard. Her eyes widening as she bit her lip. She hadnt told anyone about this. Only family knew. She knows she should’ve told them, but she wasn’t ready, she was barely stable. And she needed the job.
“That’s private information” she said scowling at them. Jeff sighed and Harry rubbed his hands over his cheeks. “And how the fuck do you guys know that? Hmmm? That’s my fucking business. I should’ve been able to tell you when I was ready” she said standing up.
“You should’ve fucking told us the minute you came for the interview” Harry said standing up in front of Amy. “I was fucking high when I auditioned” Amy yelled throwing her hands up.
“For gods sake” Harry said sitting back down.
“What did you want me to say? Huh? That my parents left me and my brother to fend for ourselves! That at 16 I was on drugs. I missed three years of my teenage years! Did you want me to tell you that my whole life was depending on that job! That I had just been kicked out of my home. That I had no fucking money! That I had no friends or family to help me?” She yelled with tears in her eyes.
“Fuck this” she said stomping away. Harry quickly followed her pulling her arm.
“Amy-“
“You had sex with me and said it was a mistake. I thought- I don’t know we could’ve been together. But it was stupid so fucking stupid. You don’t want me. And I don’t fucking want you. I quit” she said throwing her pass to him before walking away.
And he let her.
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mindofharry · 4 years
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so i just saw i have 200 followers??? i know it might not seem like a lot to some people, but i am forever grateful for the people who have taken time out of their day to follow me or look at my writing. i know I’m not the best, but Harry n writing makes me very happy n I’m glad I can express my hobbie n my love somewhere so welcoming. there are so many people that always love on my imagines or just make me smile, so I won’t name them, you probably know who you are!!! i am making something that will up soon, I have a lot going on in school, but i promise it will be up as soon as possible! I’m so grateful n thankful!!! love u all!!!! 🥺🥺🥺
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mindofharry · 4 years
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hi guys! so I’ve been really into writing recently, so I’ve allowed you guys to put requests in my inbox! I mostly do harry styles imagines/blurbs but i can definitely do more if people request it! 🥺🥺
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mindofharry · 4 years
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i want to write so bad!!! someone give me inspiration for Amy and Harry. I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEART 💘💖💗💓💞💞💓💗💖💘💗💓💞💗💖💘💓💞💗💘💖
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