Tumgik
#he probably got some massive foot fungus by now
hideousvampire · 4 months
Note
when are we getting more fairy daniel content🙏
you guys like the fairy stuff a lot heres hornet daniel confessing his love to johnny
Tumblr media
hes a little stupid but thats ok
58 notes · View notes
Note
Okay so this may be a lil dumb but imagine the angst potential that Mumbo leaving the MR wasnt about ‘vaults’ he’s just fed up of Grian using him as a scapegoat that lands him in trouble or kinda humiliates him cause my brain goin brrr with that idea
oh this is absolutely not dumb i love it! especially given how they basically just recruited mumbo as a scapegoat, didn't even give him something to do compared to the latest HEP developments which were in xb's video... i love mumbo taking a more active role in his treatment, finally putting his foot down.
also, wrote a short 1kish ficlet under the cut based on mumbo & cub's meet up. it's basically a sad mumbo and cub comforting him but i thought it was sweet. read it if you wish!
It sounds like a weird thing to say. No, in fact, he knows it's a weird thing to say. Yet, looking around the HEP factory, Mumbo finds himself a little reluctant to leave. He must've spent around an hour with Cub already just talking about the vaults he's built. They're impressive things! From the front door, to a vault inside a vault! Mumbo had so many questions, and Cub answered them with matching enthusiasm. And now it's around the time he knows they should be parting ways but-
"Mumbo?" Cub calls him back to attention, voice soft. It echoes around the empty space of the factory, its brick shell waiting to be filled. Scar really is such a good builder. "Dude, you alright?" Mumbo sighs, turning to Cub when he steps beside him.
"I-" He closes his mouth to rethink what he wants to say. His hands tuck into the pockets of his trousers. He'll fiddle with the cuffs of his sleeves otherwise. Learnt habits. Finally, he gathers the courage to ask, "Do you mind if a vent a little?" Cub tilts his head, dark eyes squinting in concern. Mumbo... Wasn't expecting that. Even when Cub speaks, Mumbo's waiting for an excuse why he doesn't have time.
Instead Cub tells him, "Come and sit down, then." He leads Mumbo to the bed he placed earlier. Mumbo doesn't understand why he feels so surprised. When did he get so used to people pushing him away? He takes a seat on the blue quilt, sinking into the comfortable fabric. Cub places down his ender chest, sitting down there, leaning towards him. "What's up, Mumbo? I know it's been a while since we last talked."  
"I just-" His hands dig into his lap now they don't fit in his pockets. He refuses to fiddle. "I feel like nobody really appreciates me, you know?" Cub's brows lower enough that Mumbo can see them beneath his helmet.
"On the server? 'Cause, you gotta know we love you here. The stuff you build is incredible, man. I wish I could build farms like you." Mumbo smiles, but his heart isn't in it.
"Sometimes it feels like that's all people want me for." He sighs, sinking onto his legs. His suit crumples around him, pulling tight around his chest. As silly as it sounds, it feels like a layer of protection. Him and his suit in this massive factory. Accompanied by Cub's concerned gaze.
"Explain it to me," Cub encourages. There's no judgment in his voice. None of his body language suggests an ulterior motive. Cub wants to listen to his worries. Goodness, why is that so surprising? Why is he so used to people stepping over him?
"I feel like I'm always just- ugh, I don't know how to say this." He tries to connect his thoughts back together. There's no pressure on him, but he still feels an urge to rush as if Cub's patience might run out any second. He tries again, "I always seem to be the butt of jokes nowadays. I mean, the whole mayor thing, for one. And now! I may act oblivious, but I'm not. Not really. They were setting me up to take their fall and I just- is that fair? Is that fair to me?"
"Mumbo," Cub says his name in a tone similar to Xisuma's when he's telling Mumbo to get some rest. "You understand you can say no to these things, right?" Mumbo's breath comes out in a frustrated puff. Fabric bunches between his fingers, trousers misshapen around his legs.
"I do. At least, I think I do." He scrubs a hand over his face, pushing hair back under his helmet. "Maybe I was foolish. But I hoped, maybe this time, I'd actually be involved in things. I could do something. But I don't even think they consider me a member! Just a scapegoat for them!" His hand returns to his lap like it's made of concrete. "Don't get me wrong, I'd do it for the plot. But... I don't think I'd enjoy it."
"Hey, Mumbo." Cub's voice settles him, gentle and reassuring. Mumbo's shoulders sink at the sound. Was he really holding that much tension? "If I've ever done something to pressure you, then I'm really sorry, man. This is supposed to be for fun." Mumbo finds he can't look at Cub anymore, the genuine apology squeezing his heart tight.
"I- You're okay, Cub. You're fine." His lips twitch into a sad smile. "I know these storylines mean a lot for people, I don't blame anyone... I think I'm just tired." Cub's tanned skin comes into his vision, taking Mumbo's pale hand into his own. Mumbo looks up, finding eyes so earnest it takes his breath away.
"You're right that this isn't fair on you." Mumbo doesn't want to admit that he nearly cries at those words, but he very nearly does. How long has he wanted his worries to be validated, now? His feelings acknowledged? "If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. I can tell the others to tone it down, if you need."
"No, no, they're okay. I don't want to cause problems." Cub looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn't. Mumbo is grateful. There are some problems he's not ready to unpack just yet.
"That's alright. If you ever want to talk to me, let me know, okay? I'll be a willing ear, all plotlines put aside." Mumbo's smile is genuine this time.
"I... I really appreciate that, Cub. Thank you."
Cub squeezes his hand, "It's no problem, man. It's what friends do." Yeah. Friends. Mumbo swallows.
"I should probably be going. I was hoping to plan out some farms tonight." Despite Cub's concern, he helps Mumbo onto his feet.
"You sure?" Mumbo sends that smile in Cub's direction as he flattens out his suit.
"Yeah. I really am grateful for all this, Cub. It means a lot." Cub's smile is just as nice to see.
"I'm glad. Anything I can do to help. I'm just a message away, got it?" Mumbo nods, tapping the communicator in his cufflink.
"Got it. I'll see you around, dude. Thank you, again."
"Not a problem. Was nice talking to you."
Cub doesn't even make a comment about joining HEP as they part ways. They're just two friends. No war, no plotlines. Mumbo breathes in the grass outside the factory, closing his eyes against the bright sun. It's a beautiful day. He likes the crunch of grass under his shoes, how he can't smell the ever-present fungus from the shopping district.
Yeah. He's got some things to think about.
45 notes · View notes
schmergo · 3 years
Text
Growing up in the DC area, seeing some really cool historical artifacts on display was always just kind of... normal for me, but one thing I never really appreciated was some of the noteworthy ANIMALS I got to see at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo and Conservation Biology Institute as a child! You do kind of forget that it being the 'National' Zoo gives it a sort of special clout. Plus, animals can live to be pretty old, so it's easy to forget about the lives these animals lived before I saw them on display! So, because I miss going to the zoo during the shutdown, here's some fun facts
* HSING-HSING THE PANDA: In 1972, Richard Nixon was given a gift of two pandas by the Chinese government following a successful visit. Their names were Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing. While Ling-Ling died in 1992 (which still made it the longest-lived panda outside of China at the time), Hsing-Hsing lived until 1999, which means that I definitely saw a panda that had seen Richard Nixon several times in my childhood-- one of the first two pandas to ever live in National Zoo! (There had been other pandas in US zoos up to that point, but this was the first to grace DC.) Of course, the current pandas they display are major animal celebrities, too!
* PANGHUR BAN THE WHITE TIGER: The first white tiger in America (in fact, the first white tiger outside of India), named Mohini, moved into the National Zoo in 1960. Almost all white tigers in the USA are descended from Mohini, and ALL white tigers are descended from her father, Mohan, who stayed in India. (Note: this is one of the reasons I'm vocally against the breeding of white tigers, who are pretty much all inbred and have significant health problems, but more on that later.) Mohini was a massive celebrity and was officially presented to president Dwight D. Eisenhower on the White House lawn, giving her the nickname, 'First Cat.' She gave birth to several cubs, white and orange, over the years. The Smithsonian's last white tiger descended from Mohini, Panghur Ban, died in 2002. I distinctly remember him leaping impressively in his exhibit when I visited on a kindergarten field trip! The National Zoo no longer breeds or displays white tigers for ethical reasons.
* RUSTY THE RED PANDA: This is a more recent celebrity. A red panda named rusty escaped from the zoo in the summer of 2013 but was luckily recovered in Adams Morgan. Rusty moved out to their suburban breeding facility later, so you can't see him anymore (if he's even still alive-- I'm not sure how long those guys live), but I was delighted to see him during college!
* SHANTHI AND AMBIKA THE ELEPHANTS: Elephants have long, long lifespans. Unfortunately, two of the National Zoo's oldest and most distinguished residents died in 2020. Shanthi had been at the zoo for 44 years and Ambika for 59 years (although Ambika was thought to be as old as 72 when she died, having worked as a logging elephant in India before moving to the USA). It's wild to think that anyone visiting the zoo for the past 4 or 5 decades probably saw these same elephants. Shanthi and Ambika were two of the most studied elephants in the world (Shanthi was also one of the first elephants to give birth from artificial insemination) and zoos have learned a LOT about elephants in captivity during their lives and elephants are getting better care thanks to what was learned from these two.
* BONNIE THE ORANGUTAN: She may not be a worldwide celebrity, but she IS a scientific phenomenon and the subject of academic papers! Bonnie, who was born in 1976 and has lived at the Zoo since 1980, has an unusual talent: whistling. She appears to have learned this skill from zookeepers and is the only known non-human ape to do so. This is not a sound that orangutans are known to make in the wild, though they do sometimes pick up sounds from other species. She wasn’t trained to whistle and doesn’t do it for rewards— she just seems to like the sound! Like many of the zoo’s orangutans, she travels between the Great Apes house and the ‘think tank’ building over crowds by something called the ‘O Line.’ Unlike the other orangutans, though, she doesn’t merely cross quickly. She often stops sits on the tower and watches the crowds below!
***HONORABLE MENTIONS***These are two celebrity residents of the National Zoo that I never got to meet-- but my parents would have!
* SMOKEY BEAR: The real life Smokey Bear was a black bear rescued from a forest fire in 1950. When he came to live at the National Zoo, he became a huge celebrity and over 13,000 fan letters a week were addressed to him! When he died in 1976, his obituary in the Washington Post described him as a longtime government employee in DC. I remember there used to be signs and displays of him at the zoo when I was little.
* HAM THE CHIMPANZEE: The National Zoo used to be home to a real astronaut! Ham the chimpanzee is sometimes described as the first hominid in space. Unlike past primate flights, he actually had to do tasks in space, so he wasn’t a mere passenger. He was launched on a suborbital flight in January 1961 as part of the Project Mercury missions. Ham was transferred to the National Zoo in 1963 and lived there for 17 years! 
***OTHER HONORABLE MENTIONS: The Most Endangered***These aren’t celebrity animals, but some of the rarest creatures you might see on display at the zoo when it reopens:
THE PANAMANIAN GOLDEN FROG: Some of these live in the Reptile house (and possibly Amazonia?) None have been seen in the wild since 2009. This species has been decimated by a disease caused by amphibian chytrid fungus, which the National Zoo was instrumental in identifying and researching. They are also part of reintroduction efforts
SCIMITAR HORNED ORYX: Two of these live in the Cheetah Conservation Center exhibit, and while most guests are most interested in the cheetahs (also famously endangered animals), say hi to the oryxes next time you get a chance! This species is excinct in the wild, though the National Zoo is participating in reintroduction campaigns. There are now thousands in captivity.
BLACK-FOOTED FERRETS: You can see some of these in the small mammal house. These are now considered only endangered (as opposed to critically endangered), but they used to be extinct in the wild in the mid-1990s. Thanks to a reintroduction campaign, there are now over 1,000 in the wild.
PRZEWALSKI’S HORSE: These beautiful wild horses live in a pen across from the Elephant Trails exhibit. Formerly extinct in the wild, there were only 12 horses alive in zoos by the end of the 1950’s, and reintroduction projects have occurred since the 1990s. There are around 1,900 alive today. The National Zoo was home to both the first successful reversed vasectomy on a Przewalski’s horse and the first birth by artificial insemination.
SUMATRAN TIGER: These creatures are critically endangered, with only 200-400 left in the wild. No, that is not a typo. The  National Zoo is home to a female Sumatran tiger named Damai, as well as several Amur tigers. Damai gave birth to three cubs over the years, all of which have moved on to different zoos.
What's your favorite animal to see at the zoo?
18 notes · View notes
stagbells · 3 years
Text
Written Work
From: @grollow
To: @flame-flygon
Written work under the readmore!
It’s been almost a year since Hollow got freed from the Black Egg. The year had been long, and their recovery process had felt even longer, but they’re in a far better and happier place then they were in those first few months of freedom. They had slept a lot back then, both their body and mind needing as much rest as it could in order to heal. They no longer had to feel wary of dreams entering their sleep for the dream god herself had been killed - banished from existence for good. It was relieving to them; they could slip into peaceful darkness for as long as they wished with nothing to fear, although the occasional nightmare, courtesy of the Nightmare King himself, would sneak up on them. Their siblings had helped them throughout their entire recovery as well. Their patience and understanding and love had meant more to Hollow than they will ever know. Although they had seemingly been recovering fine, there were still a few wounds left that was going to take longer to heal. Because of how long they stayed in the Black Egg, and because the Egg had been relatively small and dark and cramped, they no longer felt comfortable traversing through small spaces. It made traveling hard for them, as the direct area underneath the well is the Forgotten Crossroads, an area made almost exclusively of small tunnels, and to get to anywhere else in the Kingdom you had to go through there. They could’ve chosen to ride on the Stag - the last known alive transportation that wasn’t buried deep beneath the wastelands, but the Stag’s winding roads were also tunnels, smaller and narrower ones at that. Ghost hadn’t been too perturbed, however. They wanted their big sibling to explore the Kingdom like they had - though they figured Hollow had already done that years prior - and introduce them to the still remaining lives of those who had survived the infection scattered across the place. They knew they had to go about it slowly; despite their excitement they would rather not put Hollow in a situation they don’t want to be in. So that’s what they did. They started slow. Hollow began getting used to the crossroads simply by just standing next to the rope that hung down from the well. They didn’t move at first, instead focusing on their surroundings and letting themself take in the dark area. They didn’t move ahead for the first few days, but Ghost didn’t mind. They kept them company. Eventually they started moving - left, never right, never towards the Temple - their first ever destination being the spot where the Grubfather rested. To Ghost’s surprise, all the children he had consumed had turned into small butterflies of their own, the father acting like some sort of cocoon for them. Luckily for him, it seemed like they were able to leave his body without harming him. Lucky for Ghost too, they don’t think Hollow would want to ever come back down if they had seen a horrifying corpse during their first few days. Over time Hollow got more and more confident moving through the tunnels. They weren’t completely used to it, they don’t think they’ll ever truly get comfortable with it either if they had to be honest, but they had managed to make it all the way to Salubra, definitely a unique character in their opinion, within two weeks of their hesitant journey, and that in and of itself is something to celebrate. Ghost had asked them during one of their resting days if they wanted to go to Greenpath with them someday. Apparently, there’s a few people there that they wanted their sibling to see, and had assured them that Greenpath is a lot more spacious and freeing than the crossroads are. Hollow knew that already, but wasn’t quite sure if they were allowed to step foot into the territory. Pale King had taken part of Greenpath to turn into a massive garden area for their mother, and so Hollow was allowed to roam the gardens but wasn’t permitted to go into Unn’s still controlled area. They weren’t sure if they should take Ghost up on their offer. Then again, Hollow had always loved the green lucious plant life surrounding the place. They don’t exactly want to step into their mother's place at the moment - they’re not yet ready to see the Queen herself - but they do want to see green again. Their favorite color. They had decided to go with Ghost after all, even if they were barred by merit of being the King’s heir, they figured they really had nothing else to lose by disobeying rules. Besides, they remember Unn being extremely kind and patient towards them as a child, and they’re hopeful that that hasn’t changed now that they’re an adult.
They both venture out to Greenpath the next day, slowly and methodically traversing down the crossroad’s platforms to make it to the promise of plants poking through the cement cracks right at the entrance. Hollow feels excited. Dirtmouth, while peaceful and quiet, doesn’t have a lot of color to it unfortunately. The most colorful part of the town belongs to the deep red of the Grimm Troupe’s tents, and they don’t know how long that will stay for. They’ve longed to see a vibrant color again. Ghost holds onto a piece of their cloak - the closest they can get to holding their much taller sibling’s hand, and walks with them down the cobblestone path and into the new territory. The grass feels soft under their feet, and surrounding them is an array of colorful flowers and plants, their petals swaying to the gentle breeze. They both pause when Hollow spots a purple flower, it’s petals not the biggest they’ve seen but they hold it up to their mask and smell it anyway. It’s sweet and good and they look down at their sibling who stares back curiously. Hollow leans down and hands the flower to them, wanting them to smell the aroma as well. Ghost doesn’t know why they got handed the flower, but after a few moments of staring at it they slowly push the bulb and stem right into one of their eye sockets, absorbing the nutrients and effectively eating the flower. It tasted like slippery grass. Ghost liked it. Hollow is horrified. They both continue walking forward, this moment forever stained into Hollow’s mind. They reach an opening into the wider area of Greenpath. Bushes line along the path, buzzing with life and movement. Although this place is underground, it almost gives off an illusion of a sky that’s never ending. The air is a lot warmer than the crossroads, but not too much that it’s uncomfortable. It’s probably warmed up because of the acid pools right underneath the passages, but Hollow figures that if they wanted to they could curl up on the ground and take a nice nap. As they walk further down, Ghost telling them that they should meet their “hunter” friend, a very slight and startled chirp sound chitters in a path of grass next to them. Both of the vessels look down at it, and to Hollow’s surprise the grass starts moving on it’s own. It starts going toward them very slowly, almost shyly, and they stare back at it but don't move. They can’t remember grass walking ever in their life, but then again they remember the tip of Hegemol’s mace turning out to be a bug he made friends with long ago, so they know that anything can move with enough sentience even if it shouldn’t be possible. They hope that in this case the grass is also a bug, and not some sort of unknown terrible green fungus that can move. Seeing how Hollow hasn’t budged an inch, Ghost helpfully moves forward and scoops the grass in their arms. While they’re strong enough to carry it, the bug itself still happens to be big enough that their entire head is almost hidden by the grass. Hollow chooses at this moment to sit down for now, wanting to get a closer look at the thing Ghost is holding but also mostly wanting to rest their legs from the long journey. Ghost walks over to them and gently places the grass in their lap, patting both it and Hollow comfortingly to prevent either of them from getting nervous. Hollow looks down at it only to find two beady black eyes staring back at them. “This is a mosscreep,” Ghost explains. Hollow stares back at the mosscreep, their nerves calming somewhat as the bug doesn’t do anything. It seems to be non threatening, which is fine with them. They’ve met too many aggressive sorts in their life. The mosscreep chirps at them and, even though Hollow can’t understand them, they chirp back. They must’ve said something correct cause the creature suddenly turns over on it’s back, purring. To Hollow’s joy, they find very tiny black legs poking out from it’s grass fur, and they hesitantly go and pat it’s stomach. The mosscreep purrs louder, and they relax considerably. Ghost takes in the interaction, feeling content at the apparent bonding between the two. Hollow had always been so shy, it was welcoming seeing them respond so positively to a small little thing like a mosscreep. Hollow looks back at them, politely patting a spot next to them in an invitation for Ghost to sit down. They don’t hesitate to accept, hurriedly walking over and plopping down next to them. They lean over to pat the mosscreep as well, almost snuggling right into Hollow’s side as they did so. “Do you think we can keep it?” Hollow asks after a few quiet moments. They carefully run their slender fingers through the tufts of moss, noticing how weirdly solid the body underneath was. Ghost nodded. “I don’t think sister would mind.” “That’s good.” “If she says ‘no’ I’ll smuggle it in for you.” “I know.” Ghost snuggles against Hollow’s leg, the warmth of the air and the comfort of their sibling slowly starting to make them drowsy. Hollow feels a unique warmth blossom throughout their chest, a feeling of happiness almost overflowing from them. They think their recovery is worth it if it means they get to experience moments like this.
21 notes · View notes
bluedraggy · 6 years
Text
Darvan Argyn - A little fiction
Some friends and I were testing a little light-D&D game last night over a Discord server. I don’t play nearly enough D&D, but it was fun as hell. I sort-of wrote up a little story based on it. The characters may never be used again - it was just supposed to be a test run of the D&D-lite system one of them came up with. But it was fun anyway!
And I appear to have settled into playing reptilian women. I probably have some mild psychosis. Technically she’s an Argonian, but staying in the D&D universe, she’s an unusually large kobold instead. Level 1 Paladin. Large in height and... other ways as well.
*****************
The Myconid she called Shitaki was worried. It didn't say so in words, of course. It didn't talk. A mouth would be required for that. But she knew how it felt all the same. It's communication spores were just another kind of magic to her. She did know a thing or two about magic, but not it's kind of magic. It didn't talk to her in any way that could be called 'talking', but nonetheless she somehow knew what it wanted her to know. And right now it was upset. Apparently it sensed something WRONG in this old, weird place. Something was coming, but it couldn't tell her more than that - not because of the communication spores, but because it didn't know itself.
As for the place, even she could sense it had once been a place of some sort of arcane power. The fixtures and pedestals indicated that it once housed a lot of people working at something. The scraps of writing were unintelligible, but the illustrations were enough for her to gather that they made something here. Something alchemical, which was not her expertise. Still, it seemed likely there might be something left of value here, which is why they came in the first place. So far, though, nothing. It had obviously been picked clean in the intervening centuries since it was occupied.
She watched the mobile fungus climb the stairs to the roof in order to scan the surrounding area while she stayed in the relative darkness inside. Though her companion was odd, somehow the silence within became even more tomb-like. It bothered her, and she didn't like that. She was a damn Paladin now! She shouldn't be bothered by just being alone. Her darkvision was more than enough for this place. It wasn't really that dark anyway. But when her tail accidentally knocked over some unknown metallic tool onto the floor, she jumped involuntarily and spun around, hands readying the spell she always kept prepared.  
"Okay," she thought as she dropped her hands back to her sides. "Maybe I am just a level 1 Paladin, but no Paladin should be so skittish just because she's alone. Besides, I've got fucking SCALES. I'm not some goddamned skin-bag that bleeds at the touch of a fucking feather!"
She picked up the tool. A long thing, fashioned with metal. Tongs, she decided, though rust had long ago locked the joint up tight. Garbage now.
"What the fuck did you make here anyway?" she thought.
No answer came to her, but she heard the ceiling creak overhead as her partner moved about, obviously not in a hurry. Whatever it was worried about, it had found nothing yet.
And then she noticed a glow begin from the sink. She didn't know what else to call it but a sink. The design was odd, but it obviously had been made to catch some liquid and pour it down the hole in the center. Only the volume of that liquid must have been massive. The sink's hole was huge.  And now it was glowing blue from deep below. She stepped away from it and called to the Myconid.
"Hey Shitaki! You better get down here. Something's happening!"
Sounds began to emanate from the sink-hole. A voice, she realized. It wasn't Draconic, but it wasn't the language of the humans either - though it sounded like a human. She looked around for a hiding place and saw a sort of large table, solid to the floor. She got behind it and ducked low, making sure to keep her tail out of sight as well. Something WAS coming, and it was coming through that sink-hole. She made a mental note. The Myconid was weird, but it was right yet again.
And then an oddly dressed human came running through the hole. Not climbing, running sideways as if the ground was on her right. It was all she could do to keep from laughing as the man's orientation immediately changed and gravity took hold. He fell, but his momentum carried him out of the sink and onto the floor.
"Holy Shit!" he said in an oddly accented, but now perfectly understandable, human tongue as he shook his head. His entry may have been unorthodox, but the man that came out of the sink was clearly human. He was wild-eyed and with an accent that bespoke more than just coming from a different place. Somehow, the twang of it struck her as pure backwoods ignorance. But the wild eyes were obvious enough. This man was high on something. His clothing was well-worn and stained from who-knows-what. He did not spot her, watching from low at the edge of the table. Of course, without darkvision he would have to be looking very closely to spot the head of a very large kobold watching from her vantage point. Large, that is, from a normal kobold's perspective. Even at full height she still stood a little shorter than a human.
But he wasn't much interested in his surroundings. Once he'd reoriented himself after coming through the sink-hole, he turned back towards the sink. In one hand he held a smoothly-tapered wooden club of strange design. In the other, something even more strange that she didn't recognize. It was somewhat longer than the club, but twin metal tubes ran the length of it back to a curved wooden stock. She realized quickly that it was some sort of ranged weapon - the design of the stock was too similar to that of a crossbow to mistake.
Suddenly three more figures came through the sink-hole. More men. Fat men. They took the same odd, parabolic route through the open air that he had before falling to the ground in a pile of fat.
The first man laughed. "Pigs in a Pile!"
Then he turned away, obviously looking to run, but one of the three threw something at him and he went down with a curse.
He wasn't down long, but it was long enough for the three to untangle themselves and come at the wild-eyed man in earnest.
She got angry. She had no idea what was going on here, but her native sense of balance told her that three-against-one was simply not a fair fight. As she watched it progress, it was clear that the three in identical clothing were gaining the upper hand. In fact it was only due to their own ineptitude that the wild-eyed man survived thus far. One even threw his belt at the guy. It hit him squarely on the head. For his part, the wild-eyed man had swung his club at another man’s jaw, and she winced in sympathetic pain as the man was left with less teeth inside of his mouth than out.
Yet they wouldn't stop. It was clear this fight was going to be to the death.
Suddenly she felt the Myconid's question. "Where?"
She did her best to picture where the fight was, and she heard a noise above as her partner moved over their heads. It jumped, hard. She realized Shitaki was trying to break through the roof and fall directly on them. Unfortunately he only managed to break some boards, and she saw what passed for its foot dangling from above.  The fighters below didn't even look up.
Another blow and the wild-eyed man was staggering, clearly succumbing to superior numbers.  The man who'd thrown his belt was standing now, looking ridiculous as his pants fell to his ankles.
"This can't end with them winning," she thought. "No one THAT stupid should be allowed to win a fight like this just because there's more of them. It's time I did something about this..."
And then the roof fell in. Shitake's aim was true. What was left of one of the three men in uniform was no longer recognizable as human. Shitaki, though not THAT tall, was still a massively heavy mushroom.
She'd had enough. She stood up and ran over to the man in his underwear. Both of the men left standing in uniform just stared at her as if they'd never seen a reptile-woman before, as did the wild-eyed man. But she didn't hesitate. She ripped the underwear from the man and grabbed his penis.
"Drop it now," she said clearly and distinctly to the other uniformed man who was poised to club the wild-eyed man yet again with a small truncheon, "...or I swear I'll rip it off."
He just continued to stare at her, as did the man she held.
"Oh fuck. You don't believe the word of a Paladin? You will," she said and pulled. Hard. The scream was pretty much what she expected and she felt the blood spray across her hand and leg.
The wild-eyed man laughed and threw his club at the man in front of him. At the same time, she loosed her magic missile at him, assuming the emasculated man behind her would no longer be a threat. Unfortunately she miscalculated and the missile flew wide.  But the club did it's job well enough anyway. Though not dead, the uniformed man in front of the wild-eyed man was down. She spun around as the scream behind her changed in pitch, and she saw the emasculated man running at her, murder in his eyes and apparently oblivious to his own pain. She had no time to react, but she saw the wild-eyed man raise the odd weapon. She fell to her knees.
Her ears rang with the sound of thunder at close-range, as she was blinded by a flash of light from one of the two tubes of the weapon. Instantly the rain began to fall as well. It took her a second to realize that she was unhurt herself. Then she looked behind her. Where the man's head used to be, there was nothing. The rain she felt was blood and gore.
"Holy fuck!" she said, eyes wide, as she turned back to the wild-eyed man.
"Put HIM the hell out of his misery! Fuckin' pig."
She looked at the wild-eyed man behind the weapon, her own eyes wide.
"I'd say so! What the hell IS that thing?"
"Aw, this? It's a shotgun. You want a taste? I don't know what you are, but I got another round."
"Hell no! Look mister, I don't know you. Me and my partner were just here to see what we could scavenge."
"Partner?"
The Myconid moved towards the wild-eyed man, towering over him menacingly.
"That's my partner, Shitaki. I suggest you put that weapon down. You can't kill us both and..." she smiled a toothy grin as she dropped something at the man's feet. "If you don't kill me, I can perform instant gender transformation on you, too. But I warn you, my friend is meaner than me. It can do things I have no idea of!"
Which, technically speaking, was true. She liked the Myconid, but she knew little about their kind. They were just too different. But it had stayed with her the past few weeks since they met, and she was happy to have it's company.
"Aw shucks," said the wild-eyed man as he lowered the weapon. "Didn't mean nothing by it. Not every day I come across a big-boobed lizard and a mushroom man!"
She instinctively looked down at herself, trying to decide if she wanted to be offended or not. Other than her admittedly big tits, she was covered in blood and gore. She smiled. Even in his drug-addled state, she must look pretty wicked to his eyes. She decided not to be offended. This time.
She put a hand out, in the standard human method of greeting. "Well then, if we're going to be peaceable, I guess introductions are in order. What's your name, human?"
He took the hand and she breathed a sigh of relief internally. That weapon was awesomely powerful.
"I'm Cletus. I'm from Tennessee! Where the hell am I now? You don't look like you're even from Kentucky!"
She cocked a head at the strange words and looked back towards the sink-hole. "Tenasea? Is that down there?"
"Fuck if I know!"
"Well, Tenasea Cletus, I'm Darvan and this, I think I mentioned, is Shitaki."
The man reached out a hand to the Myconid.
"He doesn't shake. Or talk."
"Damn, this is some GOOOO meth! I ain't never had no trippin' this bad-ass before! Where the fuck am I?"
"As best we can figure, this is some sort of achemical shrine. I think thousands of years ago some alchemists made something here, though I've no idea what. But enough of that, I want to see what your friends were carrying."
Cletus look around, then back to her as she bent to rummage through the pockets of the dead men.
"Wooohoo! Ain't no lizards got a booty like that where I come from!"
Darvan rolled her eyes. Humans. He might use odd words, but his meaning was clear enough.
"I get it. I've been around humans plenty. You want to fuck me. Do yourself a favor, Tenasea Cletus. Keep your penis in your pants and stop calling me 'lizard' or I'll make it so that is an impossibility. Now, what are these?"
She showed him what she'd found on the dead men, but she watched his eyes closely. They went instantly to an odd L-shaped object that had a triggering mechanism similar to his 'shotgun’.
"Oh, that's nothing... Here, let me take that off yer hands..."
"Ah-ahh... No, I don't think so," she said, her eyes narrowing. Instead she packed the object into her inventory and turned back to him.
"Tenasea Cletus, do you trust me?" she said, an inspiration hitting her.
"No," he said, rubbing the blood from an eye from a gash over it.
"Well, I don't trust you either. But I'm a Paladin. Do you know what that means? A Paladin?"
"Um... like a knight?"
"Yes. Like a knight."
"You look more like a dragon than a knight," Cleatus said.
That surprised her and her head retracted a bit in surprise at the unexpected complement.
"Well Cletus! That's very nice of you to say! Thank you!"
Cletus smiled. The gaps where some teeth once were didn't bother her too much. All humans were pretty disgusting anyway. She continued...
"Anyway, it also means I have some magic ability of my own. I can heal you, if you let me. But I have to touch you."
"Well, hell yes! Heal away dragon-lady!"
She put a hand to his head and mouthed the words of the spell. Instantly the wound over the eye healed itself as well as other other wounds that weren't as apparent.
"There," she said, but didn't take her hand away. "You're not completely healed. I'm only a level 1 Paladin, but it should help."
"Sure! I feel great now."
Then she cast another spell, while she had him under her hand. Just a little charm spell. She needed something more from him.
Unfortunately, it failed to cast. "Dammit," she said.
"What? What was that?"
She looked at him hard. She was going to have to trust him to learn what she wanted to know.
"Cletus, that was a charm spell. It didn't work though. Cletus, I need you to show me how these things work I got off that guy. I know it's a projectile weapon - that's pretty clear by the mechanism on the bottom. It looks just like yours. I also know you want it. Well, Cletus, I want it too. I need to trust that you'll show me how to work it, and then give it back."
Through the drug-induced haze, it appeared Cletus was struggling to decide if he wanted to be trustworthy or not. But it wasn't long before he came to a decision.
"Sure, dragon-lady. I'll show you. It's called a pistol..." he said, and she reluctantly handed it to him.
A few minutes later, she felt confident she understood it's functionality, as well as the loading of the magazines that held the bullets that he showed her how to use. And, fortunately, he handed it back to her.
"Thank you, Tenesea Cletus. For a drug addict, you're not a bad guy."
"For a lizard..." he began, but she held up her clawed hand with one sharp finger raised.
"I mean, for a dragon-lady..." he corrected.
She nodded happily.
"You're okay too."
"Well", she said, turning to Shitake. "I think this qualifies as a successful scavenge, don't you? This 'pistol' is a powerful weapon! It'll come in handy when I'm out of spell power. It's a shame it will stop working when I've run out of bullets. But till then, this is better than anything I hoped to find here!"
The Myconid sent out spores and told her that it agreed and was satisfied.
"Well, Cletus, I don't know about you, but I'm getting hungry. You got any gold?"
"Gold? No. No gold. I have about thirty dollars to my name."
"Dollars. Can I see one?"
Cletus fished out a wrinkled up, rectangular piece of green parchment from his pants and handed it to her.
"A piece of paper?"
"That's YOU-nited States money right there!" he said proudly. "Legal tender for all debts, public and private!"
"Maybe in the YOU-nigted States. But it's not worth shit here," she said, tossing it to the ground where Cletus scrabbled to pick it back up.
"Come on, let's go find a tavern. I'll buy for now. I've got a little coin left."
10 notes · View notes
itsclydebitches · 7 years
Link
Summary:
Just days after Balem returned to his adult self, Jupiter is thrown head-first into another adventure - one she, frankly, really doesn’t have the energy for. But when has the universe ever taken her desires into account? Mysteries, promises, and desperate moves forward; bees, splices, and awkward family dinners. It’s enough to make even her seasoned head spin.
…which doesn’t even include the chance to play at ‘Mother’ once more. Only question is: will Jupiter take it?
(DIRECT SEQUEL TO “ROCK THE CRADLE”)
Fandom: Jupiter Ascending
Words: 14,139 so far
Warnings: Will eventually mention previous neglect/abuse of children
Pairings: Jupiter/Caine
Where to Read it: Below the cut or on AO3 (AO3 recommended for formatting)
Chapter Eight 
She kept thinking about fungus.
It was a strange and kind of terrible thing to focus on, all mushy parts and bright colors to indicate poison. Jupiter had never been much of an outdoorsy girl—she’d always been too focused on the stars overhead—but she knew without a doubt that she’d hate camping, that if she’d attended a public high school any environmental classes would have been a pain, and hell, she wouldn’t touch the mushrooms in her salad with a ten-foot pole. But here she was, imagining oozing, bulbous fungi in the comfort of Stinger’s home. Jupiter knew why too. It was one of the endless, cardinal rules passed down to her on how to properly clean a home:
‘Never touch a man’s shower with bare anything,’ her mom had emphasized. ‘Hands, feet—nothing! You’ll pick up their fungeses.’
As Jupiter got older, wiser perhaps, she kind of wanted to interrogate her mom about that particular bit of advice. When exactly do you think I’m gonna be barefoot in a customer’s shower? What if it’s a woman’s? Is this a gender thing? And hey, are you going to bite my head off if I remind you that the English plural of ‘fungus’ is ‘fungi’?
She’d always chickened out though, mothers would do that to you, but it didn’t mean Jupiter had forgotten any of those useless rules that had been drilled into her head. This one certainly reverberated as she sat in the bath of Stinger’s modest shower.
Somehow, strangely, this felt more intimate than all the sleepovers and shared meals combined. It was necessary though, not the least because Jupiter was pretty sure she wasn’t going to contract any cross-species space germs from taking a load off. She’d gotten into the shower, turned on the water, and promptly decided that standing was just Too Much.
Everything felt a bit Too Much nowadays.
With a groan Jupiter rested her head on her knees, just letting the water pound over her back and push her hair into her eyes. The dust from their little excursion had long washed away and some of the tension Jupiter had built up was actually easing too. Stinger’s bathroom, like the rest of the house, smelled of honey, and if Jupiter strained her ears she could just make out the sound of him grumbling about his corn field downstairs. It was familiar and oddly soothing.
That is, until a massive crash sounded beside her.
“Shit.”
Jupiter’s hand shot out, pulling the shower curtain aside just enough to stick her head through. She glared at Guano who had, astoundingly, managed to knock everything off the counter.
She paused in the act of reaching for a wayward deodorant stick. “Sorry,” she whispered.
Jupiter sighed.
It wasn’t as if she particularly wanted a seven-foot bat splice with a massive wingspan crammed into the bathroom with her, but sometimes things just worked out that way. Guano and the Stingers had gotten along famously when their biggest conflict was how best to embarrass Jupiter. When Guano proclaimed herself a new guard though? Well, things had gotten a little hairy. Or perhaps ‘fury’ was the more appropriate term, given present company.
“You’re doing what now?” Stinger had said, voice oddly soft compared to his normally gruff nature. It wasn’t soothing though. Guano seemed to be the only one not picking up on the change in tone.
She didn’t even spare Stinger a glance, just kept herself down on one knee until Jupiter made a frantic gesture for her to rise. And no, she definitely hadn’t picked that one up from Star Trek episodes where the confident, capable captains got to intone “At ease!” to all their subordinates. Jupiter was more of a Kirk kind of gal anyway: lack of formality all around. To her relief Guano stood immediately, though she still kept her wings and arms folded in the approximation of a parade rest.
Stinger, Caine, and Kiza had all saddled up behind her.
“You left Kalique?” Kiza said incredulously.
Caine shook his head, clearly not buying it. “You were released by Kalique?”
“If that had happened she’d have been sent back to her brood,” Stinger muttered. Jupiter noted that he still had one hand resting lightly on his gun.
Jupiter spread her arms, a gesture of peace. “Oh hey, look, Guano is right here. How about we just ask her, hmm?”
Guano inclined her head in thanks. It was easily the most sophisticated gesture Jupiter had seen from her, and she could suddenly picture how a hulking, over-excited splice like Guano might serve someone as refined as Kalique. She could see it easily now, and it felt like the world titled on its axis.
Then Guano grinned, teeth flashing, and everything fell back into place.
“I wasn’t released,” she said. “And I didn’t abandon her Ladyship.” Guano glared fiercely at Kiza. “I was gifted to Her Majesty.”
What.
“Gifted...?” Jupiter said slowly.
“Yes! To you, of course.”
What.
“Dammit,” Caine muttered and caught Jupiter around the waist just as she blew a gasket.
It was, in retrospect, not her finest moment, but there was only so much crazy a woman could take before she needed to let off some steam. Jupiter certainly wasn’t yelling at Guano--she was the victim here, right?—but she might have directed her frustration at the party more broadly, only dimly aware of them nodding compulsively like they’d heard it all before (which they had). Who the hell did Kalique think she was? (“An Abrasax, Your Majesty.”) You can’t just give away people! (“We’re not people, Your Majesty.”) Splices. You know I mean ‘people’ more broadly, Kiza. (“Yeah, I know, and it’s appreciated... but she can actually do that.”) No she can’t! (“It’ll be alright, Your Majesty.”)
It wasn’t alright and sometimes Jupiter wanted to rip her hair out at the blasé attitude of her friends—her family. A part of her got that she was just one newbie trying to comment on a system they’d lived in their whole lives, that had existed for generations... a larger part just wanted them to admit that they were angry about it all, even once. Instead they settled on something in between: Jupiter admitting that temper tantrums weren’t going to get anything done around here; Stinger, Caine, Kiza, and a now confused Guano giving her kind looks for the tantrum in the first place.
Even if it set her teeth on edge, Jupiter let Guano explain that, yes, she’d been gifted to her by Kalique. That she’d noticed how well the two of them got along and intended it as a gesture of goodwill before their dinner tonight. Jupiter asked sarcastically if she was supposed to give a gift in turn. Could it be a hard right hook?
That should have been the end of it. Kalique was obviously up to something, but there was only so much they could do here and now. And of course Guano could stay, serve, whatever... except...
“Her Majesty already has a royal guard,” Stinger had said, eyes narrowed. Guano had faced him with ease.
“Oh?”
“Yes. Caine is her first guard, her mate. I am her second. My daughter, her third.”
“Three’s a good number,” Kiza said.
“So is four,” Guano countered.
“I like four,” Jupiter said. Literally no one was listening to her.
Stinger had come even closer, nearly nose-to-nose with Guano. “How do we know we can really trust you? That you aren’t still loyal to Kalique?”
“How do you know I won’t break you for suggesting such a thing?” Guano closed the distance, breathing straight across Stinger’s cheek. “Bats sometimes eat bees, you know.”
“Oh boy,” Jupiter murmured.
“Shit,” she said now, repeating Guano’s choice of phrase and looking at the mess that was Stinger’s bathroom floor. That wasn’t going to endear him to the new addition. Guano was still frozen with guilt, grabbing onto that deodorant stick like a lifeline. With a sigh Jupiter pulled the shower curtain under her chin and tried to soften her expression.
“It’s fine,” she stressed, even though things kind of weren’t.
The four of them had continued bickering all the way back to the house in a manner Jupiter was more inclined to label as reminiscent of ‘sibling rivalry’ than ‘arch nemesis,’ but that didn’t mean it didn’t grate on her nerves. It just wasn’t cute when they had Kalique to deal with. First stolen honey, a fox splice in broad daylight, then changing their location, now Guano as a goddamn ‘gift’...none of it was adding up, yet all of it was turning Jupiter’s stomach. She’d padded upstairs to make herself presentable and had gotten Guano as a stray. Though Jupiter couldn’t blame her. Stinger had probably threatened her out of the living room with a spatula or something.
“I’m too big for this house,” Guano said, sweeping everything up with her wings and dumping it into the sink. Jupiter hummed an acknowledgement.
“I sometimes feel too small for this universe,” she said.
“You are rather small, even for a human.”
“Pff. Thanks, Guano. I think.”
Jupiter had never put much stock in modesty (sharing a single bathroom with a family as big as hers, she didn’t have the luxury), so she just left the curtain open a bit and finally got down to the actual cleaning business. She still didn’t bother to stand though, just grabbed a bar of soap (milk and honey, what else?) and got to work. Guano watched with detached curiosity.
“What’s she like?” Jupiter asked, soaping up her legs. Stinger had been kind enough to lay out a new razor.
Guano tilted her head. Long ears pointed towards her, just like Caine’s did sometimes. “Who, Your Majesty?”
“Kalique.”
“Oh! Well, she’s an Abrasax. She’s beautiful and rich and powerful and—”
“And encourages everyone to repeat those things about her,” Jupiter interrupted. “C’mon. What’s she really like? You can be honest.”
Jupiter wasn’t sure a splice like Guano, bred and raised for loyalty could really be ‘honest’ in the way she was looking for. Then again, bats weren’t known for their loyalty, not like wolves or bees, and Jupiter definitely caught a glimpse of... something in Guano’s eyes. She folded her wings, crossed her booted legs over the toilet, and leaned her whole bulk precariously over the edge. It put her just a few inches from Jupiter, though she experienced none of the tension she felt when Guano had faced off against Stinger.
“I can tell you three things, Your Majesty,” she whispered, “and you can do what you want with them. Yeah?”
Jupiter leaned forward as well, arms crossed over the tub’s rim. “Alright.”
Guano’s fingers were longer than a human’s, nearly black and so thin they could probably be used as weapons. She held three of them out, poised near Jupiter’s chin.
“One: I worked for Her Ladyship for nearly thirty years and she sent me on many, many missions, but she didn’t bother to learn my name, rank, or capabilities until she sent me after you.” A finger curled into her palm. “Two: The previous dinner we attended was the most relaxed I’ve ever seen Her Ladyship. And three: She may not have fought in the war as I have, but she is one of their fiercest warriors I’ve ever encountered.”
Jupiter nodded slowly. She could see that. Kalique had always fought with brains rather than brawns, and it made her that much more dangerous. “Thanks, Guano.”
“I’m very happy to be serving you, Your Majesty.”
Cupping her hand, Jupiter caught some of the water and flicked it at her. Guano spluttered, the fur on her face wet, clearly not knowing how to respond. Jupiter pinned her with a serious look.
“You know you don’t have to serve me, right? If you don’t want to. You’re always free to go.”
“But I do! Want to be here, I mean. Not go. Not if you’ll have me.”
“Even if it rubs Stinger the wrong way?”
Guano grinned. “Especially then.”
“Figures,” and Jupiter flung a bit more water at her. Guano’s whole body ruffled and she ended up knocking more things off the counter. Jupiter finished washing as she cursed.
It was while she was re-rolling the toilet paper that Guano suddenly stopped, hunched her wings over her shoulders protectively, and seemed to hesitate about what to say next. When she did finally speak it was with her face turned away from Jupiter and the lines of her back hard as iron:
“Also, I... I’m very sorry about your pup,” she said quietly.
Jupiter shivered, the water on her back suddenly feeling cold. Yeah, she was sorry too. Sorry enough that she’d been trying not to think about washing Balem in this very room... though never so sorry that she’d get over how everyone acted like he’d died instead of just growing the hell up.
Then again, if you lost every piece of who you were when that happened, was it really any different?
“God.” Jupiter tilted her head back and let the water pound against her eyes. “I’m...” What? There were too many things to say and not enough ways to say them. “I’m sorry for you too. The war.”
Guano took the peace offering, turning back her way. A bit of toilet paper was caught on her wing. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“And if I’m owning up to my own ignorance here, uh... what war was that exactly?”
“Ha!” Guano smiled again, even if it was tinged with something darker. “That is funny. It’s a big universe, Your Majesty, and I’ve fought my fair share. The question you want is which war.”
“...that’s not a conversation I need to have right now.”
“You humans say something else funny... yes! ‘You’re not drunk enough for this,’ right?”
Jupiter chuckled, nodding. “We’ll fix that one of these days.”
“Not me.”
“Wait, can splices not get drunk?”
“None of us can.”
Jupiter looked up, finding Caine standing ramrod straight in the doorway. He’d done away with his weaponry and stripped down to just a tank, jeans, and boots—looking mighty fine, if Jupiter had to put a label on him. His expression was a little sour though as he surveyed Guano and Guano’s mess.
He was also carrying a massive box which... okay.
“You,” he said to Guano. “Out.”
Guano deliberately looked to Jupiter. She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, go on. Go bug Kiza for me.”
“Of course, Your Majesty!”
Guano left—deliberately bumping into Caine on her way, turning to give Jupiter a wink—and then it was just the two of them, finally alone.
Jupiter stretched her legs and thought about fungi. She thought she got it now though. Something in her life was definitely growing... she just wasn’t sure if it was poisonous or not yet.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” Caine echoed.
Jupiter beckoned him to her and, like always, he came.
1 note · View note
ginnyzero · 3 years
Text
Completely Harmless Ch. 58
Completely Harmless An SSO SilverGlade Re-imagining Story (Or Fix it Fan Salt fic) By Ginny O.
When Lily and her friends wanted to buy horses and were directed to the Silverglade Manor and its myriad of problems, they didn’t expect to start a revolution. They were just a bunch a stable girls. Completely harmless. Right?
A/N: Things are only canon if I say they’re canon. Pre-Saving the Moorland Stables compliant for the most part. Posted in its entirety on my website. Posted in 2000 to 4000 word bits here. Rated T for Swearing Word Count 177,577
Chapter Fifty-Eight The Compass to the Rift of the Pink Hell
From Valedale, they took the transport to the Wolf Hall Inn and rode to Guardian’s Dale.
“You’ve got the keystone.” Evergray coughed by the remnants of the fifth statue.
Lily kept it on her lap. “Why do you think a keystone will work to open this gate, anyways?”
“Didn’t you read the inscription?” Evergray pointed at it with his staff.
“It’s not in any language I recognize.”
Evergray shifted on his feet. “Sorry. I forgot you don’t read Pandorian. Allow me.” He squared his shoulders. “Guardians of Pandoria’s fate return to us one day. Four will open up the gate, the fifth will lead the way.”
“Pandoria’s fate, not Jorvik’s.” Lily tilted her head.
“I believe in the fifth statue there was a keystone. We replace the keystone and have the four soul horses, we can open up the gate.”
“Okay, so, you travel to Pandoria through these rips in the fragile world finding them by your compass.”
“You remember correctly.” Evergray nodded and coughed. “The boundaries between this world and Pandoria is insubstantial. In fact, it is more like a sponge full of holes. Things slip through all the time.” Evergray coughed again. “Rifts happen when there is a massive boundary failure. Things aren’t always so dramatic. Lost socks in the wash. Missing homework. They might have slipped into Pandoria.”
“Déjà vu,” Lily said. “They’re glitches in the matrix.”
“In my twenty years of exploring, I’ve seen more things than lost homework and lonely socks. Cars. Whole ships. The entire canned goods aisle of a grocery store, the shelves still stocked. I’ve heard rumors of an entire island ripped from our world to theirs.”
“Crazy and a bit surreal, go on,” Linda said.
“In order to get to a specific point without a keystone, you need my compass, the Celestial Wayfinder. It can find those tiny holes where it’s possible to pass through. Remember, time and space don’t operate the same way there as they do here. Finding the right rift without a corresponding energy signature is like finding a needle in an infinite number of haystacks.”
“Thus, the keystone,” Lily said. “And I do hope it’s the correct keystone.”
“With that keystone, we can use the compass to find the needle in the haystack that is Jorvik.” Evergray gestured. “I can match the energy reading to my charts and tune the Celestial Wayfinder and we can find the correct area.” Evergray sat on the stone step and pulled out a chart.
Not quite willing to trust him with the keystone, Lily dismounted. She brought it over to him and unwrapped it.
“Hmm, the rift’s specific location exists on a spectrum of possibility. Very complicated quantum magic goes into determining where it is. Shall I show you the math?”
“I’m sixteen. We’re into trigonometry. This sounds more like calculus.”
“No.”
“No,” Lily said.
Linda sat on the other side and adjusted her glasses to watch him work.
Evergray muttered and ran his finger along the chart listings. It appeared he was doing the complicated math in his head. It took him some time. Alex got bored and wandered around the dale examining the statues better.
Evergray spoke instead of mumbling having come to his conclusion. “Very well, I believe that the rift shall open soon in the Mirror Marsh to the south west of here. We should ride there and I can calibrate it better to pinpoint the precise location and predict where the rift will be before it opens.”
“Do we look like we have anything else better to do?” Lily wrapped the stone and held it out to Linda. “I’m not sure how the fragments will react to this.”
“Poorly probably,” Linda said.
They mounted and Evergray got on the back of Lily’s horse. “I heard you used the Sun Fragment and Star Fragment to great advantage in Hillcrest.”
“Did you also hear I passed out?” Lily said. “So, let’s not have to do that anytime soon.”
Evergray hummed.
They let him off and road around helping him calibrate the compass. It would be faster with them on horseback than he could do on foot.
The compass pointed off to one of the furthest islands to the east of the Marsh. Letting him back up behind her on Nimbus, they rode over jumping between island to island. Once there, Evergray hopped off Nimbus.
“What you’re looking for is a sample of pure Pandorium. It will be deep pink in color like the keystone you already have. Rifts like this are very unstable and will be open for only a brief period of time. At least in this dimension. Due to the space time dilation between our world and Pandoria, you should have about five minutes on the other side to find what you need.”
“Five minutes,” Lily stared at him.
“In a world we’ve never been to.” Alex gestured. “This is Anne’s thing. Not ours!”
“Then I suggest you be quick about it.”
“No time to sight see.” Lily wrinkled her nose.
“This isn’t a rescue.” Evergray shook his staff and put one hand on his hip. “If you do see Anne or Lisa, don’t dilly dally around. Find the Pandorium and return. Before the portal closes and you’re stuck in Pandoria forever.”
“Like Lisa.” Linda nodded. “Got it.”
“Should we all go?” Lily asked.
“No.” Evergray shook his head. “Lily alone should go. You don’t have the time to split up and get lost. No time to argue, there’s the rift.”
A line of sparkling magenta energy hovered in the middle of the air in front of them. Lily urged Nimbus forward. The line widened and turned into a circular swirl of magic. “I’ll be back, five minutes,” she said to them and Nimbus walked through the portal.
At first it was black, and then, it was a strange place, dark with stone walkways broken apart and hovering in midair.
“No time, no time,” Lily muttered.
Nimbus settled his wings closer to his back, in his ‘true’ form now that they were in Pandoria. “Let’s go then,” he said and took off running. He jumped gaps and skidded around corners.
There was another portal at the end of the broken stones.
Nimbus didn’t stop jumping through it.
They landed in a land of pink and purple with bits of orange.
“Pink hell,” Lily said. “Check.”
Small and huge mushrooms dominated the space, vying with crystal shards.
Lily rode up to the nearest. “Is that Pandorium?”
“Hell if I know.”
Lily found a broken off chunk. “Looks close enough. Though this is too small if I’m remembering correctly.” Maybe she should have brought a hammer and chisel. She wasn’t prepared.
The ground was like purple fungus almost with purple grass. In places it was purple stone rippling like water. It was a surreal space.
Lily was ever mindful of the time as she rode around looking for different chunks of Pandorium. Too brittle, wrong something, it didn’t feel right. The right piece ended up being in a grove of the purple glowing willow like trees.
“Should have known.” She tucked it into her bag.
Nimbus turned on his heels. “We’ve wasted too much time,” he ran back flexing his wings to skim over jumps and down back to the portal. They ran back up the broken stone causeway and through the other portal.
Nimbus’ sides heaved.
“Lily!” Linda gasped.
“I’ve got one.” Lily pulled it out of her saddlebag.
“Just in time, there goes the rift,” Evergray said. He frowned. “Well, that’s odd.”
“What’s odd?”
“It didn’t shut up properly. I think it took off somewhere else. Maybe you will be able to find it again.”
“I don’t think I want to,” Lily said. “So much pink, hurts my eyes.” She blinked hard.
“This one is perfect.” Evergray examined the stone in her hand.
“Good.” Lily refrained from rolling her eyes. Because she wasn’t going back if it wasn’t perfect. “Now, we must head back to the Stonecutter’s Vault and see if Magnus remembers how to make them.” Lily tucked it away.
“I’m sure he’ll be insulted you thought he forgot.” Linda smiled.
“Perhaps, I shall come with you,” Evergray said. “It’s been ages since I’ve seen Magnus.”
The three girls looked at each other.
“I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole,” Alex said.
“Nope,” Lily added. She offered Evergray a hand up.
Linda shook her head.
Evergray took it. “I don’t know what you’re going on about.”
“You said yourself that the Valley of the Hidden Dinosaur had been cut off for over a century.”
“Ah, but I know my away around Pandoria.” Evergray smiled.
Lily didn’t dare look over her shoulder at him. “Like we said, we aren’t touching it.”
They left the Mirror Marsh and headed to the Wolf Hall Inn. Hopefully there would be less people, and less questions.
--
The ghost of Magnus Steiner seemed confused. “You have returned. What is this gift you have brought me?”
“If you’d heard me all the way out.” Lily raised a brow at him.
“Did something happen to the keystone that I gave you already?” Magnus tucked is hands into the arms of his robe.
Linda unwrapped it.
“What we need,” Lily said cradling the raw Pandorium in one arm so she could gesture at the keystone, “is a close to duplicate keystone to that one as possible. This piece of Pandorium is from the exact same area as that one.”
“I am confused. There’s no need for two keystones. Besides, it would take decades to teach you the mastery of runic forging.” Magnus sniffed.
“Magnus!” Evergray said brightly.
“Hell’s bells, is that you Evergray?”
“In the flesh,” Evergray coughed. “You haven’t aged a day.”
“You, on the other hand, look absolutely ghastly,” Magnus said with far too much relish.
Alex groaned.
Lily looked up at the ceiling.
Linda rolled her eyes.
“These are my protégés.” Evergray gestured. “I know you taught me runic forging.”
“Can’t be done.” Magnus shook his head. “They know too little and you can’t carve. Not with your body in that state. What have you done to yourself old friend?”
“Ah, too much travelling in Pandoria.”
“I warned you.”
“So you did,” Evergray agreed amiably enough. “Perhaps another, there is one I know of,” he trailed off. “He could be convinced, I believe.”
“Conrad,” Lily said, her lips parting. “He will not and does not and downright refuses to follow directions.” She turned to Magnus. “I’m assuming there’s some foundational knowledge that we need to know.”
“It takes decades,” Magnus said again.
“We don’t have decades. We might not have ten days.” Alex waved her arms. “Justin is under his control and Lisa and Anne prisoners in Pandoria.”
“Evergray.” Magnus’ shade strengthened. “Is this true? Are two of the Soul Riders prisoners in Pandoria?”
“Yes.” Evergray nodded and coughed. “Lily has a plan to get them out.”
Lily’s brow furrowed. “Wait, how did you know that this keystone,” she gestured at Linda again, “is the right keystone? Especially since there’s more than one hidden in this Vault. And don’t deny there isn’t. There are more hidden doors I’m sure you control, Magnus. You don’t create a vault for one thing and you said keystones already.”
Evergray coughed and it was the cough of his sickness rather than the need to clear his throat.
Linda fiddled in her pockets and passed him a throat lozenge.
“Thank you, it probably won’t help.” Evergray popped it into his mouth. “You didn’t hear that part, hmm.”
“Avalon said something,” Lily’s brow furrowed. She switched arms with the Pandorium.
“The druids know approximately where Anne is being held in Pandoria and he happened to mention it. Once I decoded the code in the Pandoria Codex. It was simple enough.”
“And they’re doing nothing!” Alex shouted.
“They think she’s too deep in order to get out safely,” Evergray fiddled with his staff. “They don’t want to risk the two Soul Riders they have left.”
“They want someone expendable,” Lily concluded. “This person they’re waiting for. I bet until she proved herself, she’d be expendable. I like this Fripp less and less.”
“It’d be a test,” Evergray said.
“Fripp is a rodent,” Magnus said with distaste. “What is your plan?”
“Justin is being held on an oil rig near the Golden Bay along with his horse Saga, and Concorde. The oil rig has a gate that can create a stable portal to Pandoria. Alex can take a keystone and rig it into the gate.”
Alex nodded and cracked her knuckles.
“We use that gate to escape with Justin into Pandoria near where Anne is being held and hopefully Lisa has made it through. The keystone has too much energy and is unstable. The gate will explode making it impossible for them to follow us until they get to another gate if they have one. Hopefully no, but I bet the oil rigs are fairly cookie cutter.” Lily stopped. Did they have cookie cutters in the 13th century? She changed her words. “Err, the same. Then, Evergray and Linda along with the Soul Horses use the Guardian’s Dale gateway and the keystone to open another portal for us to get out of Pandoria. Hopefully with Justin, Anne, and Lisa in tow.”
“Extremely dangerous. Could have catastrophic consequences if it goes wrong,” Magnus said floating up and down.
“Look, I’ve got a row boat that can carry me along with two things, and a chicken, a fox, and a bag of grain. You take the fox over with the grain, take the grain back and get the chicken, you’re set. That’s the riddle.” Lily waved her hand about. “Now, what do I need to do in order to forge a keystone that doesn’t take decades? At least we aren’t trying to facet the dang thing.”
Magnus chuckled. “And why not?”
“Because that takes a grind stone, not a hammer and chisel which is what I’m assuming carving runes is going to use.” Lily shifted her weight to one hip. She glanced at Linda. “And before you ask, there is a jeweler at the Flea Market.”
Linda grinned.
Magnus considered. “Does this Conrad know how to make horse shoes?”
“That’s what he mostly makes since he won’t follow directions, plans, or blueprints,” Lily muttered.
“Then go learn to make horse shoes and then I will show you runic forging. Learning to forge the horse shoes will show you how much force and pressure you need to apply and teach you how to swing a hammer properly.”
“Stiff wrist,” Lily said. “More in the shoulder than the elbow.”
Magnus didn’t say anything.
“Right. We’ll be off. Hopefully we’ll have at least one keystone to return to you. Since, the other one we plan on having go kablooey,” Lily said lightly. “Thank you for your time. I’ll be back when Conrad finishes with me.”
They took their leave, Evergray and Magnus bidding each other a jovial good bye. They pretended not to overhear Magnus’ word of caution to Evergray about taking Soul Riders, of all people, as protégés given his exile. Evergray didn’t seem to care.
They got back into the snow, putting the keystone and the pandorium in Linda’s saddlebags.
“Moorland,” Lily said. “Well, shit.”
FOR THE ACCOMPANYING IMAGES PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE MY WATERMARK AND CONTACT INFORMATION. THANK YOU. I get it. Some of you might get excited and want to see this stuff in the game, especially the clothes, tack, and pets. However, the only way I want to see this in the game is if I get paid for it. If I see it in the game and I’m not paid for it, there will be hell to pay. You think I’m salty. I’d be angry. Personally, I’m not going to send this info to SSO. If you do, leave my contact information there! Don’t give them any excuses to steal.
Now, I’ll know you haven’t read this note if you leave me comments about how ‘salty’ I am about the game and if I hate it so much I should do something else. I am doing something else. It’s called Mystic Riders MMORPG Project. Mystic Riders however is a very baby phase game. You can check out our plans on the game dev blog. (Skills, Factions, Professions, Crafting, Mini-Games, 25+ horse breeds!) If you know anyone who would be interested and has money or contacts about game making, direct them to the blog.
0 notes
zrtranscripts · 5 years
Text
Season 8, Mission 25: Bonfire Heart
Drink Up
~
SAM YAO: Tom, Jody, Five, I've got you on cams. How did everyone sleep?
JODY MARSH: Really rough.
TOM DE LUCA: The dreams again.
JODY MARSH: Yeah. This time, I was underwater. The waves were red, and I was walking along the bottom of the ocean. My hands were rotted.
SAM YAO: And you knew that your face had rotted away, and when you tried to scream, your jaw fell off. Yeah. I was there, too, last night.
TOM DE LUCA: I was underground, buried alive. You were with me, Five.
JODY MARSH: But everything was red, yeah?
TOM DE LUCA: Obviously. Everything's always red.
SAM YAO: And just to be clear, it feels like everyone on Mor is with us in the dreams, right? Like we know all these people now because we see them every night in the red world.
JODY MARSH: Yeah.
TOM DE LUCA: Yes.
SAM YAO: Great. Well, either the fungus has reached some particular level in our blood to make this happen, or... or we're all imagining it because now we know there's fungus in our blood. Even Amelia's having them, apparently. Good to know we're all in this horror together. [laughs] 
Right. Um, you're on track for the laird's house because finding out what he's up to is our best chance of stopping this endless nightmare. He's just told Janine he's away this afternoon, so if you hurry, you'll be able to search his house. Go!
~
JODY MARSH: They're lighting bonfires all over the island. Look! All along the cliffs. I always liked that bit in Lord of the Rings.
TOM DE LUCA: In Lord of the Rings, the bonfires summoned help, not death.
SAM YAO: Morag said they're part of the naming festival. It's like a prologue to the king of the rocks. The islanders light fires, then gather at the hills near [?] Beach to choose who's going to be the next king at the full ceremony. Morag's making her spiced ginger ale as normal. She doesn't want to stand out.
JODY MARSH: Obviously they're still doing the festival even though... even though we're all going to die horribly.
SAM YAO: Hmm. I don't think some of them really know what they're doing anymore.
TOM DE LUCA: I saw Mr. Burton the cheesemaker chopping his furniture up for a bonfire. I tried to ask him what he was doing. He just said it is wanted by the skincoats.
JODY MARSH: Everyone's doing what they think they have to survive.
TOM DE LUCA: That's what people do. Do you have any idea what Amelia's planning?
SAM YAO: Uh, no. Well, she wouldn't tell me, obviously. I'd just tell everyone. Well, I know the island's quarantined, but that's just sensible, right?
TOM DE LUCA: If you were Amelia, what would you do? No sense going back to the mainland. We'd only infect everyone there. Even Amelia doesn't want to be a zombie Prime Minister. But we know there's silver mud here that inhibits the V-type fungus. If I were Amelia, I would be preparing to blow the island to pieces to get as much of it as I could.
JODY MARSH: With us on it? With everyone on it?
TOM DE LUCA: Only as a last resort. She doesn't waste resources needlessly. But this is a last resort situation.
SAM YAO: Right. Good. Great. That's super.
JODY MARSH: She'd stop if she got the Edda back, though. Wouldn't she? If it had all the useful stuff in it it's supposed to have about how to stop the red fungus rising.
TOM DE LUCA: That's what I'm hoping. If we just get it back, this madness will be over. And the laird... he's a good candidate for leader of the skincoats. Jones accused the laird of luring him here and killing his decoy that first night on the beach. The laird had access to the cave of death-marked faces. He inherited his title from a brother the skincoats murdered, and he killed Jones. We have to take this opportunity to search his manor.
JODY MARSH: It's up ahead. The big stone house with the turrets. We'll enter through the gardens. We've only got until the festival ends to search it. Best get a shift on! Run!
~
SAM YAO: Okay, so you're approaching the manor from the south, and the kitchen should be your best way in. You -
TOM DE LUCA: [sniffs] Five, do you smell that?
JODY MARSH: Smell what? [sniffs] Oh. Oh no. There's a really strong smell of celery, Sam.
TOM DE LUCA: The fungal accelerator. The smell's coming from the greenhouse. That one, full of ferns. [glass shatters] We're in. Five, Jody, look around quickly.
JODY MARSH: Here, there's silver powder sprinkled on this planting tray. The stuff that keeps V-type fungus back. And just a few traces of red. Someone's been growing it here.
SAM YAO: Could be the laird, right?
TOM DE LUCA: Highly probable. But the fungus isn't here. They've taken it somewhere. Sam, did you say there's going to be a big toast tonight? If someone's looking to use the fungus, then -
JODY MARSH: They could poison Morag. The skincoats know she's their enemy. Or anyone, really. We can't take chances. We have to get to the festival and make sure nobody toasts anything. Five, Tom, to the beach. Run!
~
SAM YAO: Guys, I see you approaching the hills near [?] Beach. The party's underway. There's people dancing with streamers, ice cream. Uh, there's this big wicker statue on the beach. Looks like a giant person with stag horns. This really is all going a bit Edward Woodward, isn't it?
SHONA REID: Five, Tom, Jody, always popping up where you're nae expected.
JODY MARSH: Are you okay, Shona? There haven't been skincoats here, have there?
SHONA REID: No, but this party's just a bit of fun. Most people don't know it was only invented for tourists in the 60's. Except the seasonal bonfires. They go back a bit. I didn't want to come, but dad insisted everyone should do it just as usual.
JODY MARSH: Look, up on that hill, it's the laird! He's in a circle of islanders around an open barrel.
SHONA REID: Aye. They're about to toast the first drink of the night, then we can get all stuck into Morag's ale.
TOM DE LUCA: They're raising cups. We've got to stop them! Five, up that hill! Run!
~
TOM DE LUCA: Good job, Five. You knocked the paper cup out of that woman's hand just in time.
JODY MARSH: Everybody, put your drinks down. We think the ale's been spiked.
LAIRD REID: What's the meaning of this?
SHONA REID: Dad, they just suddenly shot up here. I couldnae have stopped them.
TOM DE LUCA: We've been in your greenhouse. We know what you were growing up there.
LAIRD REID: What does this have to do with my home composting? And what were you doing in my house?
JODY MARSH: Oh, Five, that bearded man with the scars, I think he drank before we got here.
SHONA REID: That's Mad Al Cahoon always eager for a tipple. Bowel trouble again, Al?
TOM DE LUCA: I don't think that's bowel trouble.
SAM YAO: Oh God. Oh. The fungus is spilling out of him. Out of his mouth, nose. It's bursting through the skin on his back in big lumps. It's – it's growing out of his ears and eyes. His head is just a mass of red. That looks excruciating.
TOM DE LUCA: He's ingested fungus and accelerant, clearly in quantity.
JODY MARSH: That's so horrible. Poor, poor man. He's writhing around. Could be a V-type any second. Shona, evacuate the festival. Get everyone to town. Tom, Five, I've got a plan. Over to that bonfire before he finishes turning. Run!
~
[crowd screams]
SAM YAO: Guys, Shona's evacuating everyone towards town. But that fungus zombie thing is on its feet. It's hunched over, sprouting mounds of fungus and it's chasing them.
TOM DE LUCA: That sound the V-types make always makes my skin crawl. It's like I remember it from long ago.
JODY MARSH: Five, there's the bonfire. Do me a favor. Light a couple of these arrows.
TOM DE LUCA: Are you sure? Smoke from burning V-types can be infectious.
JODY MARSH: We know the island strain is less aggressive, and it hasn't finished turning yet. We just need to get it away from the islanders. Tom, there's something I need to tell you about Janine.
TOM DE LUCA: You've been meeting with her in secret to discuss taking over Abel if she goes.
JODY MARSH: How did you - ? [flames crackle] Oh, hang on. Thanks, Five. Better sort out the life or death stuff first. Here goes nothing.
TOM DE LUCA: Direct hit! It's not down, but it's burning. Sound thinking. If there are enough V-types to make them intelligent, we know they prioritize threats. And this island is riddled with red fungus.
JODY MARSH: It's turning this way, coming after us instead of Shona. Now we have to kill it before it kills us. Down to the beach, both of you. Toward that big wicker statue. Run!
~
TOM DE LUCA: I see the statue. A massive human body with a stag's head. Must be 40 foot, counting the horns.
SAM YAO: I remember Morag mentioned it. She said the islanders made a statue to burn at the festival a few years ago, but it took so much work, they decided not to burn it so they could wheel it out every year instead.
JODY MARSH: If we can push the stag over onto the flaming V-type, it'll get tangled in the wicker. The statue will burn with it stuck inside and its spores won't be able to travel. I hope. Five, you've got the most experience outpacing V-types. Run into the shadow of that statue, draw it after you. When it's under the rib cage, Tom and I will push the statue over. Go, Five!
~
SAM YAO: Five, Tom and Jody are ready, each by a leg of the statue.
TOM DE LUCA: We've pulled away the wooden supports holding the statue up. One good shove should topple it.
SAM YAO: Right, the zom's in position. Jody, Tom, now! Five, get out from under the statue before it falls. Run! [statue collapses] That's it. The statue's down. The zom, it's caught in the wicker. It's trying to thrash loose, but the whole statue's on fire. Glad you got clear, Five. It's burned to nothing in there.
TOM DE LUCA: Perfect instincts, sweetheart. That's why Janine chose you as her successor.
JODY MARSH: You guessed, right? You didn't know we'd been talking about it. You just guessed.
TOM DE LUCA: Janine probably only has three or four days left. The serum Dearg gave her has stopped working. It's the logical thinking. She'd want to brief you to take over, and she'd ask you not to tell anyone, especially me, for morale. It's the right decision.
JODY MARSH: I don't want it. To replace Janine... I've never wanted that! I just want to make her proud.
TOM DE LUCA: She is proud of you. I'm proud of you.
JODY MARSH: You always know how to make me feel better, like I can get through anything.
TOM DE LUCA: That's how I felt about my life for a long time, darling. If you're with me, I'll be all right.
SAM YAO: Guys, I hate to interrupt this beautiful moment, but the islanders called an emergency town hall. They've declared the laird will be the next king of the rocks.
TOM DE LUCA: He'll be on his guard now. We won't get another chance to search his manor for the Edda.
JODY MARSH: But the drinks he gave out made that poor man turn V-type! He must be a skincoat, right?
SAM YAO: Well, either way, they've chosen him as their leader. Some of the islanders are talking about the uh, red bloom as if it's some kind of sign. Well, apparently, there are old myths about red blessings for the king.
JODY MARSH: Uh, is it me or...
SAM YAO: Yeah. Did we dream we met a king dressed in red, and kneeled in worship? Yeah, I might have dreamed that.
TOM DE LUCA: Yes. I dreamed it, too. The skincoats are winning. The red is rising.
~
1 note · View note