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whenihaveyouromione · 17 days

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When I Have You - Chapter 102

(commissioned from @elyonblackstar.art on Instagram)

This was originally chapter 100, hence the difference, but then it changed. This is still my favourite chapter.

Lyrics from "First Times" by Ed Sheeran, a song he wrote about his wife :)

Read on ao3 or Fanfiction.net.

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Chapter 102

~~~

Ain’t it funny how the simplest things in life can make a man,

Little moments that pass us by

~~~

“Woah!” Ron’s jaw was on the floor and he couldn’t quite pick it back up again. Hermione had told him that tonight was black-tie style dress — which, in Muggle terms, meant really fancy clothes — but she’d not informed him that what she planned to wear to the event was a very elegant — very low-cut, he noted with a grin — black dress that he never would have pictured her ever wearing. She’d curled her hair, its usual bushiness gone, and she’d even put on makeup. She looked absolutely stunning and he found it difficult to take his eyes off her.

Hermione smiled at his reaction, but a moment later, she looked down. “Is it too much?” she asked, suddenly sounding uncertain. “It’s not something I’d usually wear, but —”

“Absolutely not!” Ron said firmly. “You look great. No… that’s not the right word. You look so, so beautiful, and that’s saying something, because I really do think you look beautiful all the time.”

Her lips curved up into a smile, her cheeks tinging pink.

“Though,” Ron said, a smile forming on his own face, “I do think it would look better off you. If you know what I mean.”

“I always know what you mean, Ron,” Hermione answered dismissively. “And one day, you’ll have to be careful of what you say around our daughter.” She stepped closer to him, taking Rose from his arms. She was looking very drowsy, the time nearing seven-thirty in the night.

This was going to be the hardest part for them. Rose was spending her first night away from them. Well, just a few hours, really. It had been Hermione’s idea, but he knew there was some regret in her decision to have her parents look after Rose while they enjoyed a night out together.

It was their anniversary. Four years being married, and almost eight years together. It was a special night, Ron knew that, and he wanted to make the most of it.

“She’s good to go,” he said gently. He didn’t want to show his own hesitations about leaving Rose behind, because if he did, then Hermione would probably change her mind. They’d at first contemplated bringing her parents here, so at least Rose would be somewhere familiar. But, Ron had then reasoned that they could just pick her up on the way home. They were heading into London anyway.

Now, though, he was pretty confident that he’d be bringing Hermione home before they did anything else, because they had very little time these days to be alone, especially when Rose slept in the same room as them. They’d had to get creative.

Hermione nodded. “I guess we should go then.”

“Yep.” Ron guided her to the fireplace, his hand on her back, which — to his delight — showed a lot of skin. He grinned.

“Stop smiling,” Hermione said, though she wasn’t facing him.

“How’d you know I was smiling?” Ron asked, dropping his hand.

“Because I know you,” Hermione answered. “The moment I put a nice dress on, you’re all over me.”

“I’m always all over you.”

“I’m holding our daughter,” she reminded him, though there was amusement in her voice above anything else. “Once we drop her off at Mum and Dad’s, you have me all to yourself.”

“Alright,” Ron said. He picked up a handful of Floo powder and tossed it into the fireplace. “You go first.”

Hermione cast him a very amused look, but she did as he requested, her hand over Rose’s head to shield her from any ash. When she was gone, Ron followed, still grinning to himself.

The other side was a very calm and peaceful atmosphere. Robert and Jane had known of their hesitation about leaving Rose, and so they were not showing what Ron could only imagine to be pure delight at having their granddaughter to themselves for a few hours.

“Wow, Hermione, you’ve dressed up well,” Robert commented as Ron stepped out from the fireplace. He’d already cast anti-stain charms all over his suit, and he was pleased to see he’d performed it effectively. “As your dad, I am not sure I approve.”

“My husband approves,” Hermione said, smiling.

Robert flashed an amused look Ron’s way, and Ron was very proud of himself at how well he hid just how much he approved. “I bet he does,” Robert muttered.

Ron passed a bag full of Rose’s things to Jane.

“And everything’s in there?” she asked, accepting it.

“Yes. There’s three bottles,” Hermione said. “You hopefully will only need two, but there’s three just in case. She’ll probably sleep until about midnight, which is when we aim to get home.”

“So early?” Robert asked.

“The show goes until eleven, so we’ll give ourselves an extra hour, just in case. We may even be back earlier.”

“Well, don’t hurry back,” Jane said. “The two of you haven’t had a night out in a long time, and it’s your anniversary. If you’ve packed an extra bottle for her, then you can probably stay out a little longer. When do we need to feed her again?”

“In about an hour,” Hermione said. “Then again when she wakes around midnight. And then… maybe again if we’re not back.”

Ron knew that wasn’t going to be the case. As much as he wanted to enjoy their night, he didn’t think they’d cope much longer than their allocated time away from their daughter.

Jane smiled, her eyes on Rose. Her smile turned sympathetic when Hermione hesitated handing her over.

“She’ll be well-loved here, Hermione,” Robert assured her. “You kids enjoy yourselves.”

Hermione kissed Rose’s cheek, and then with very heavy reluctance, she passed Rose over to her dad. “Bye, sweetheart,” she choked. “We’ll be back soon, I promise.”

Rose watched her, smiling.

“See you, Rosie,” Ron said, stepping forward and tickling her under the chin. “You be good, alright?”

Rose gave him a smile, too, and before either of them could change their minds, he slid his hand into Hermione’s and led her to the door. There was a bus stop just down the road which led straight into the city.

Ron closed the door behind them, wincing at the last sound they heard — Rose’s cries.

“Oh,” Hermione said, pulling her hand away. “I feel so awful. She doesn’t understand. She probably thinks we’re abandoning her —”

Ron stepped toward her, a hand on each of her shoulders and kissed her. “She will be okay,” he said calmly. “Let’s enjoy our night together because we won’t get many of these moments. I want to celebrate being married to you.”

Rose could still be heard, even though they were standing out the front.

“Let’s go,” he said, taking Hermione’s hand again. “Before my resolve breaks and I go back in there again.”

Hermione seemed to appreciate his honesty. She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Let’s go,” she said.

~~~

The first kiss, the first night, the first song that made you cry

~~~

Ron was certain he’d never set foot in such a fancy place again. This was something Hermione had organised, telling him she’d splurged considering this was the best year they’d had so far. They were attending dinner and a show — of what, Ron had no idea and didn’t really care about. He was just excited to be spending an evening with his wife, without them having to worry about a baby.

Though, worry they still did, even if neither of them mentioned it. Ron had set that rule on the bus ride over. He wanted tonight to be about them. Every other day of their lives was about Rose.

The foyer was crowded with other couples, all dressed up like them. Hermione didn’t look out of place at all, though she was still the most beautiful. Ron couldn’t take his eyes off of her, or remove the smile from his face. People dressed in tuxedos came around offering free drinks, and Ron accepted a glass of wine, regretting it the moment he had the first sip.

“You have it,” he said, choking down the bitter taste and handing it to Hermione.

“I can’t,” Hermione said. “I’m not comfortable drinking alcohol while breastfeeding.”

“Oh, right.” Ron looked around for a place to subtly dispose of the glass, but couldn’t find any. Everyone else was drinking slowly from their glasses. “I don’t know why I always think it’s going to be better the next time,” he told Hermione. “Goblin-made wine is much better.”

“Well, unfortunately they don’t sell that to Muggles,” Hermione replied. She smiled so brightly, and Ron’s heart swelled.

“You are so bloody amazing, you know that right?” he said to her.

“That’s just because you like what I’m wearing.”

Ron chuckled. “I will freely admit that what you’re wearing is doing amazing things to me right now, but I really didn’t mean it like that. You know I love you no matter what you’re wearing. You know I love you.”

“I know.” Hermione stepped forward, her body pressing against his, arms around his neck and she kissed him. Her lips were so soft and tender and he was pleasantly reminded of their very first kiss and the thrill he’d felt at having her finally. It felt so long ago now, and so many kisses ago, but it would always remain his favourite.

He held her waist, ensuring she didn’t pull away too soon, but his hands slowly crept up her sides, reveling in the silky smoothness of her dress. He moved them to her back, feeling her exposed skin, but that was too much for him. He groaned, breaking the kiss before he got too carried away in a very public place.

Hermione stepped back, seeming rather pleased with herself, and to his utter relief, an announcement sounded from somewhere that the doors were now open.

Hermione dug into her small bag and pulled out two tickets. “Ready to go in?” she asked.

“Please,” Ron replied, his voice strained.

Hermione was laughing silently at him, he could tell, but she turned and walked toward the door, offering her hand for him to take.

They were led to a beautiful table set for two, somewhere in the middle of the room. It was dark in there, but each table had a candle in the centre, creating a romantic atmosphere.

Once seated, Ron immediately reached for Hermione’s hands. “Do you remember the first time you kissed me?” he asked.

Hermione’s eyes widened at the sudden question, but she soon relaxed and nodded. “It’s hard to forget.”

“It’s hard to imagine just how far we’ve come since then,” Ron said. “All the things we’ve done together, all the things we’ve achieved… it all started there, didn’t it?”

Hermione gave a small smile. “I think it would have happened after that, if it didn’t then.”

Ron laughed quietly. “You’re probably right. I was quite in love with you at that point. I’m glad you made the first move, though.”

“Would you have? Made a move if I hadn’t, I mean?”

Ron paused before answering. This was something he’d thought about occasionally over the years. His answer always changed, but he nodded. “Yeah,” he said finally. “I think I eventually would have. It just would have been after I went through every possible scenario in my head to figure out what the best move would be and it may have taken me years to work it out.”

Hermione laughed.

You find that funny?” Ron questioned, grinning at her.

“Well… yeah,” she said. “Because aren’t I usually the one to run through every scenario in my head and you the one to act without thinking?”

“Which is why I’m glad you decided to do it that way for once,” Ron replied.

Hermione smiled. “Tell me, have you thought about it? Did you reach a conclusion on what your preferred method of winning me over would have been? I’m curious.”

“Does it matter?” Ron asked. “It didn’t happen that way.”

“I want to know.”

“I dunno. How much would I have had to win you over?”

“You probably would have just had to have held my hand and I would have thrown myself at you.”

Ron returned her smile. “So, it wouldn’t have been all that different.”

“Tell me.”

“Alright, well, if it reached a point where nothing was happening with us and I felt I needed to make the move, I think I would have asked you out. While stammering over the question in sheer terror of what your answer might be.”

“You mean out on a date?”

“Yeah. You sound disappointed. It’s not as fun as throwing yourself at someone in the middle of the war, is it?”

“I think it’s a very Ron thing to do. I would have been flattered. And I, of course, would have said yes.”

“I like the way it happened better. I think back on that moment very fondly.”

Hermione’s eyes drifted to their entwined hands. She didn’t speak for a long time. Ron relished in the peacefulness, tuning out the chatter surrounding them and focusing solely on the woman next to him.

“I think that was the moment I knew.” When she spoke again, her voice was barely a whisper.

“Knew what?” Ron asked, though he could guess. He’d had the same feelings in the same moment. That kiss — their first kiss — had erased every doubt in his mind and he’d never been more certain of anything when she’d been in his arms.

She looked up, a look of complete joy on her face. “That we’d end up here. Married. With a child. Just… happy. It just felt —”

“Right,” Ron finished.

“I knew in that moment, that if we survived the war, then we weren’t going to look back, we weren’t going to question anything. I could feel it in you, too. You just knew as well.”

“I knew it without a doubt,” Ron confirmed. “Our friendship was over.”

Hermione laughed. “Yeah, we ruined that, didn’t we?”

“But I will admit,” Ron said, “I did have some doubts.”

Hermione looked at him curiously, so he hurried on to explain. “Not about you, not about… us… not really. They came around the time you said you wanted to have sex with me. That panicked me more than I let on.”

“I know,” Hermione said. “You were pretty nervous that night. But you lost those nerves pretty quickly, though, if I remember correctly. I recall you being on me pretty quickly again after that first time.”

“Ha! Yeah. Yeah, I was…” He paused, thoughtful, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. “That just felt like the point of no going back for us. I worried that if we did that together, we’d find it was actually awkward moving from friends to lovers, but then being friends would feel awkward after being so intimate.” He looked up, noticing her amused expression. “That makes sense, right?”

“It does,” she assured him gently. She frowned slightly. “Can you believe I didn’t actually think about that? I never even contemplated that it might be awkward, or weird —”

“And it definitely wasn’t,” Ron assured her. “And once I realised that, then I never looked back. But… at the time, I just thought if it didn’t work out for whatever reason, then I’d lose you entirely — as my girlfriend, but also as my friend.”

By the look on Hermione’s face, it was obvious that she was only now just realising that what he said could have been a real possibility. Thankfully, it hadn’t worked out that way, but the thoughts hadn’t seemed to cross her mind until this very moment. She confirmed that by saying, “I’m so glad you’re only telling me this now.”

Ron laughed. “Yeah, well… my mind might have been telling me that, but the rest of me was pretty keen, so I wasn’t going to think too hard on it in the end. I knew that if I said anything, you would have taken the high road and said we should wait, and I didn’t want that either.”

“Sounds like a confusing time for you,” Hermione said, amused.

“Oh, it was,” Ron assured her. “I both wanted to be with you in a sex way, and didn’t want to ruin anything between us.”

Hermione flashed another smile before her expression turned serious. “Ron, I do hope you know just how much I love you.”

“Of course I know.” He squeezed her hands in assurance.

“No, but… I know I’m not always the best at expressing my feelings. You’re so open, and I’m just a little more guarded. I know sometimes it can come across to you — and maybe others — that my feelings for you don’t always match your feelings for me. That’s not true at all, you know that, right? I’m just not as good as expressing them openly like you are.”

Ron nodded, sensing she felt a little saddened by her confession. Though, he’d never thought he was great at expressing how he felt, he just had a terrible time at hiding it, too. “Yeah, I know that. And don’t worry about it, I have no filter. You know that. I say things without thinking. It’s a curse.”

“You’re my happy place, my safe place, my everything and I’m so very appreciative of it all. It just… I guess it overwhelms me a lot of the time, to feel so much for one person that it leaves me with no words to express it. But… I fell in love so young, and I just never fell out, and… I just love you, Ron. So much.”

Ron’s heart just about leapt out of his chest. “Please stop talking,” he begged. “Because if you don’t, well, I might just do something I shouldn’t do with so many people around.

Hermione laughed.

He leaned down to kiss her, deepening the kiss enough to let her know that he loved her, too, but not enough to draw attention to them. “And don’t forget,” he said, his lips near her ear, “you were the one to say you loved me first. I’ll never forget that.”

That had her cheeks turning red, her hands tightening around his. He extracted one hand and rested it on her knee. She melted at his touch, which pleased him.

“It’s amazing to discover the things that have made me happiest in life,” he said to her. “Growing up, I wanted the glory. I wanted to be Quidditch captain, to be Head Boy, to… be an Auror. I wanted to be recognised. It was my dream.

“But, you know what I think of when someone asks me what my happiest memories are? The things I think of when I conjure a Patronus? Asking you to marry me, actually marrying you, the birth of our daughter. Those are the best moments of my life, my greatest achievements. I wish I could go back and tell my eleven year old self to not worry about all those things I worried about — to tell him that none of what you want is going to make you happy, but you’ll find happiness in the simpler things. That the best job in the world is being a dad to a little girl that you will love more than your own life itself. And that that girl you met on the train, the one that annoys the pants off you, that maybe you need to be nicer to her, because one day she is going to make you happier than winning any Quidditch Cup ever could.”

“Not that you’re going to fall hopelessly in love with that girl?” Hermione teased.

“Eleven-year-old Ron wouldn’t have been able to handle such information,” Ron said. “He was far too immature for that.”

Hermione smiled.

“But I do wish I could just tell myself that it’s the simple things that will end up making me the happiest. I wish someone had.”

Hermione laid her head on his shoulder. “And maybe if you’d known all that, we wouldn’t be here now.”

“No, maybe not. Not sure I would have believed it, to tell you the truth, though.”

The lights dimmed after that and all talking ceased. Ron moved his arm to fold around her waist, drawing her even closer to him.

And somehow, as he sat there with her, he realised that his heart really did have the space to love her just that little bit more than he did yesterday.

~~~

The greatest thing that I have achieved

Is four little words, down on one knee

~~~

Ron felt at peace when the show ended. He’d enjoyed it, and the food had been delicious. And to his surprise, neither of them had mentioned Rose. They truly had enjoyed their time together, it being just the two of them. Rose was probably sound asleep in the small portable cot Hermione’s parents had gotten, happy to have some new people to play with.

They left the theatre hand-in-hand, smiling.

“I really enjoyed tonight,” Hermione said as they made their way down the street.

“Me too,” Ron said. “Another moment to add to my bank of growing favourite memories.”

Hermione smiled. “I almost don’t want it to be over.”

“It’s not,” Ron said, and he stopped — the place deliberate — and turned to face her, grinning at her.

“I’m not sure I like that look on your face, Ron,” she said warily.

“There’s one more memory I have from our life together. And I’m very fond of it.”

That didn’t abate Hermione’s wariness at all. It increased it, if anything.

“And what might that be?” she asked.

Ron’s grin broadened and he nodded to his right. Hermione turned her head, both of them now staring down a dark alley.

Hermione frowned. “It’s a rubbish alley,” she said.

“It’s not a rubbish alley. It’s an alley, and I have very fond memories of you pulling me into one once.”

“Oh, Ron,” Hermione said, finally catching on. “We don’t… we’re a lot older now. I’m not as… well, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

But she didn’t protest too hard when Ron tugged on her hand and pulled her into it. The benefit this time, was it was dark and no one would see them, even if they walked past.

He backed her up against the wall, enclosed in the dark entirely, and by the time he brought his mouth to hers, she was kissing him back. She flung her arms around his neck, forcing his body against hers.

This was going to be the last time in many more months before they got to be so close for such a long time again, and he wanted to savour every moment with her. But he also wanted to tear that dress from her body, because as good as it looked on her, he knew it looked better on the floor.

He settled for dropping one strap down her arm, just to see how far he could get with her before she stopped him. He trailed his lips along her jaw, down her neck and to her shoulder. She, surprisingly, held him tighter, allowing him to kiss her.

So, he tried the other strap, and kissed her there, too. He did that for a long while before her hands slid away from his neck and he thought that this was it. As much as she was enjoying it, the knowledge that there were people nearby had gotten to her and she didn’t want to go further.

But her hands didn’t push him away. They moved to his waist, and then to the belt buckle of his suit pants. He slid the straps of her dress down further, fingers trailing her skin.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured against her neck. “Merlin, I’ve missed you.” He pressed against her, suddenly even more desperate than he’d been before.

He was surprised just how far she was taking this. She’d managed to get his buckle open, though she didn’t go any further than that, instead allowing him to kiss every part of her exposed skin.

After a while, he reached behind her, feeling for the zip of her dress, and finally, he felt the hands that he’d expected long ago, push him away.

“Stop, Ron,” she said, her voice filled with apologies.

He dropped his hands, pressing his forehead against hers.

“I thought I could do it, but —”

“Let’s go home,” he said gently.

She nodded, and he held her tightly, reaching with one hand to take out his wand. He Apparated them both home, where Hermione was much more willing to allow him to unzip her dress and have it fall to the floor.

~~~

The first look in your eyes when I said, "I love you.”

~~~

It was well after midnight, nearing one, when they Floo’d back to Hermione’s parents’ place. Both of them were awake, the lights in the living room on and the television going at a low level.

Both looked surprised to see them come through the fireplace rather than the door.

“Didn’t get the bus back?” Robert asked with a knowing look. He then looked them over. “That’s not what you were wearing when you left.” They’d changed into something more comfortable after they’d pulled themselves out of bed.

Hermione flushed, but didn’t bother giving a response.

Ron grinned.

“How was she?” Hermione then asked, changing the subject quickly.

“Oh, perfect,” Jane said. “Cried a little after you left, but she settled pretty quickly and was all smiles after that.” She smiled herself, as if reliving a very fond memory. “We had no issues getting her to sleep. Was out like a light after we gave her a bottle, changed her… oh, she was a delight.”

“That’s our Rosie,” Ron said proudly, noticing the smile forming on Hermione’s lips too. She’d done a lot of smiling tonight as they remembered how they’d reached this moment, the best part of their lives, but it never got old.

“Did you two have fun?” Jane then asked. “How was the show?”

“Tonight was amazing,” Hermione answered. “The show was great, but it was just nice to actually spend some quality time together. We did a lot of reflecting, thinking back to the moment that got us here. It was lovely.”

Ron nudged Hermione affectionately, and her eyes glistened with love.

“Where is she?” Ron then said. “I’ll go and get her.”

“We put her in the spare room upstairs,” Jane said. “We fed her at midnight, and she went straight back down.”

While Hermione began to explain to her parents about the show, which really had been the least thrilling part of their night, but the safest one to talk to her parents about, Ron went to get Rose. He entered the room quietly, smiling at the sound of her even breathing.

He bent down to pick her up, begging her to stay asleep. She did, her only sign of disturbance being a grunt.

He carried her back downstairs, treasuring her tiny body against his, so warm and fragile and perfect.

Hermione smiled at him and then she came over to peer at Rose.

“Thank you,” she said to her parents. “We really appreciate it.”

“Our absolute pleasure,” Jane said. “She was a delight.”

Hermione smiled again and then, with Ron still holding Rose close to him, she set up the Floo connection.

Ron indicated that she should go first, that he was okay to follow.

She obliged. For a moment, he simply stood there, staring at the space she’d been a moment ago. And then Rose stirred against him and he was reminded again of just how simple his life was now, and that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

~~~

I can't wait to see everything that's yet to be

Our first child, and then a million more first times

~~~

#romione #hermione and ron #ron and hermione #ron weasley #ron and hermione fanfiction #hermione granger #harry potter fanfiction #hermione and ron fanfiction #romione fanfiction #harry potter

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