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nugnthopkns · 3 years

Text

gonna keep this love if you let me

word count: 4.0k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, slight innuendo, alcohol consumption, cursing, a lot of wedding talk

recommended listening: burning | maggie rogers

series masterpost: here

a/n: found this during my google docs purge and decided to finish it!! guess that means hiiapl is tentatively back, but updates will most certainly be sporadic. also i know literally nothing about st. louis or the blues so pls don't come for me

Life would be completely different without Colton.

It’s crazy to think so, but it’s true. Had you not met him nearly five years ago at a bar in New York, you’d be in a totally different situation – probably married to the Wall Street douchebag you were with at the time and struggling to find your sense of self. Instead, you’re happy in St. Louis with the best chosen family you could ever dream of. Colton is a lighthouse in your storm, keeping you steady and providing hope.

Marriage has never been off the table, but it hasn’t exactly been on it either. Both you and Colton are young, barely into life itself, and you know he wants to enjoy his youth. Tyler tells you that you’re being ridiculous, that Colton is more than ready to settle down, but you’re scared to broach the topic. You’ve never handled rejection well, and Colton wielding that sword would be too much for you to bear. It doesn’t stop you from fantasizing about what your wedding would be like – you want it to be small, just close family and friends, and maybe on a lake. One day you’ll gather the courage to ask him what he thinks about spending the rest of his life with you.

“Babe, have you RSVPed to Scandella’s wedding yet?” Colton asks you as he slips his dress shoes on. It’s early May, and the Blues are trying desperately to make it out of the first round.

“No,” you draw out, slightly confused. “We didn’t get an invitation.”

“It’s on the fridge, under the grocery list. I put it there like a week ago.”

You roll your eyes and laugh. “How was I supposed to find it, Colt? I’ll do it as soon as you leave. Have fun in Denver.”

He kisses you gently, promising to score you a goal, and pats your dog on the head before wheeling his suitcase out the door and into the trunk of Tyler’s car. You wave to your boyfriend’s teammate and watch as they turn the corner. Once inside, you dig around on the fridge until you find the invitation. It’s a little crumpled, a clear indication Colton shoved it in his pocket after practice and left it there for a while, but it still looks gorgeous. Celeste, Marco’s fiancée, has a timeless style that is perfect for the wedding she’s no doubt deep into planning. Flipping the card over, you see the deadline to RSVP is in two days, so you rush to pull up the website and input your details.

Not even five minutes after saving your seats you get a text from Celeste. Cutting it pretty close to the wire, wouldn’t you say? followed by Please know I’m kidding, and I’m ecstatic you and Colton can make it.

You laugh, typing out a reply that explains your lateness. He never told me about it, just put the invite on the fridge after letting it sit in his jacket for a week. We can’t wait to be a part of the big day :) x

The two of you chat for a while longer, exchanging details about the wedding, before you take Perseus on his long walk and comfortably fall into the routine you keep when Colton isn’t around. Despite trying your best to dream of other things, you spend the night picturing what your boyfriend’s face will look like if you ever walk down the aisle.

☼☼☼☼

It’s chillier than you thought it would be, but with Colton’s suit jacket wrapped around your shoulders the warmth will soon return to your body. Marco and Celeste elected to have an evening wedding, and the setting sun makes the venue even more beautiful. Montreal is a beautiful city, with a wonderfully rich history, and the distant sound of boats on the St. Lawrence provide serene background noise.

The arm that is resting comfortably on the back of your chair shifts slightly to pull you closer to Colton. “When can we start drinking?” he whispers as you wait for the bride to make her entrance. “You look exceptionally good in that dress, and I need an excuse to have my hands all over you.”

“Colton Parayko,” you chide, “We’re in public!”

“When has that ever stopped me?”

Before you can reprimand him the music starts and the crowd rises. You follow suit, peering over Colton’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of Celeste. She looks stunning, all smiles as she makes her way towards her soon-to-be husband. The ceremony leaves you both in tears, with Colton’s teammates laughing hysterically at you. It’s the first time you don’t hear Colton defend himself when chirps are thrown.

The drinks flow freely throughout dinner, and by the time the dance floor opens you’ve consumed one too many gin and tonics. You can’t convince Colton to participate in the silly group dances so you’re with the group of wives, dancing up a storm and having the life of your life. Eventually he makes his way to the floor, stealing you away for a slow dance to some overplayed Ed Sheeran song. You rest your head on his chest as he sways you in small circles, sealing it with a kiss as the music fades into a song he can’t resist bopping along to. Both of you spend the rest of the night dancing with your friends and making memories you hope to duplicate as more of the team gets married.

It’s after midnight when the remaining guests send the newlywed couple on their way in a flurry of applause and bubbles. The hotel you’re staying at is only a short walk from the venue, so you and Colton make your way there at a leisurely pace. Much of it has to do with your inability to walk fast. Despite your boyfriend’s suggestion to wear a comfortable pair of sandals, you wore the highest pair of heels you own, and the pain you feel makes the journey longer than it needs to be.

“Hold up for a sec,” you whine slightly when Colton gets too far ahead of you for your liking, “‘M gonna take my shoes off.”

He looks at you like you’ve grown three heads. “Don’t do that Y/N, you’ll tear your feet to shreds. This isn’t even a real sidewalk.” He has a point – the path you’re on has you walking on a gravel shoulder.

“Don’t care. ’M tired and want to get home faster,” you mumble, bending over to undo the ankle straps.

A deep sigh rumbles from his chest, but Colton backtracks to stand in front of you. “Hop on.”

You do so with little protest and spend the rest of the walk clinging to Colton’s back. The hotel staff don’t bat an eye when the two of you enter the lobby, no doubt having encountered stranger things than a piggyback ride. It takes him a second to open the door but the latch eventually clicks, and Colton tosses you playfully on the bed. The two of you work quickly to complete some sort of nighttime routine, exhaustion hitting both of you hard. You want nothing more than to curl into Colton’s chest and sleep for at least fourteen hours.

Sleep has almost overcome you when Colton whispers a question into your hair. “Do you think we’ll have as much fun at our wedding?”

You try hard not to let your surprise be visible, but your heart is racing. “You want to get married?”

“Of course,” he says. “I knew you were the one a long time ago.”

A smile makes its way onto your features, though he can’t see it due to the position you’ve situated yourselves in. “I’d like to marry you one day,” you whisper back. The hum he emits reverberates in your chest, and you go to bed with your mind made up. You’re going to propose to Colton as soon as possible.

☼☼☼☼

It’s unconventional, you proposing to your boyfriend instead of the other way around, but your relationship has always been like that. Colton’s never been one to do things on other people’s timelines and neither are you, so many moments have been ‘too rushed’ for some family members’ liking. However, you do spend the rest of the summer debating on whether to go through with your plan or not. What if he says no because it’s too weird? The thought plagues you throughout your vacation to Alberta, and when Colton notices how off you are you chalk it up to feeling under the weather. He buys it and never brings it up again. Life has returned to normal, the season is underway, and you’ve finally committed to asking Colton to marry you.

Tyler points out how unorthodox the situation is when you pick him up to go ring shopping.

“In any other relationship I’d be doing this with Colt, not you.”

You laugh as he settles in your passenger seat and buckles up. “Since when has this been any old relationship? I moved across the continent for him.”

“Fair enough,” he shrugs. “Do you know what you’re looking for?”

The two of you spend the ride to the jewellers discussing what you think Colton would like. You argue that he’d want something simple – relatively thin and plain gold. Tyler insists that his friend wants an intricately carved ring that takes up a great deal of space on his hand, but you know he’s only doing so in an effort to make Colton look ridiculous. The bickering only stops when Tyler kindly opens the storefront door for you.

“Hi! Is there anything in particular you’re looking for?” the salesperson asks. He’s charming in the way salespeople usually are, all perfectly placed hair and dazzling smile.

“We’re just looking for rings,” you explain, eyes scanning for the display case that holds rings large enough to fit Colton’s finger.

The employee smiles, undoubtedly glad he’ll be making a nice commission off the sale. “You’re a smart man sir,” he nods to Tyler, “Bringing her in to make sure she likes it. Congratulations.”

The brunette looks at you in confusion for a moment before clueing in. “Oh,” he mutters, “We aren’t together. I’m just here for moral support.”

You nod. “Could you please point us in the direction of the men’s rings?”

Though more than a bit embarrassed, the employee leads to that section of store before leaving you to your own devices. Clearly it isn’t a common request, and Tyler chuckles a little before turning his attention to the elegant rings in front of him. There are a lot more options than you thought there would be and you feel a little lost. You know what Colton likes, so you whittle out anything you know he would hate. Tyler tries to sneak in a few rather garish choices but settles down once he sees how overwhelmed you are.

“Don’t stress so much. Colt’s going to love it regardless because it’s from you, and it means the two of you are getting married,” he insists.

You aren’t convinced. “What if he hates it?”

Tyler scoffs. “That’s going to be damn near impossible. He practically worships that ground you fucking walk on.”

The nerves settle enough for you to actually be productive and eventually you settle on one that looks strikingly similar to what you were describing to your friend in the car. Unsurprisingly they don’t have Colton’s size in store, but let you know when you place the order that it should be in by the end of the week. On the way home you pick up some dinner before dropping Tyler off in front of his house. “Thanks for coming with me today,” you say sincerely to which he just nods his head.

Colton’s back from his physiotherapy session when you slip through the front door. “How was your day with Bozak?” he asks as he takes the bag of takeout from your arms and sets it on the counter.

“It was fine,” you sigh, “But I’m glad to be home.”

“What did he need help with?”

You freeze. Though you assumed Colton would ask about the details of your day, you never actually cobbled together a white lie to tell him. “Uh, he wanted a second opinion of some art he wants to buy,” you stutter, “And I took that art history course in college. He just needed me to tell him it was a replica and that the seller was overcharging him.”

He buys it, and you feel a little bad about lying. It’s one of the few times you’ve ever done it throughout your entire relationship but you really don’t want him figuring out your plans. The rest of the night is spent pressed comfortably against his side on the couch, eating Chinese food and laughing at the contestants on the reality show the two of you are currently obsessed with.

☼☼☼☼

The ring box is burning a hole in your pocket. The jeweller called while you were at work, so on your way home you stopped by to pick it up. It’s perfect, just as beautiful as you remember when you picked it out a few days ago. You don’t have a plan, no elaborate yet endearing way to ask, but you know you won’t be able to keep the secret for long. Every fibre of your being wants to be engaged to Colton.

Your house is empty when you arrive home, save for the large dalmatian that comes bounding towards you at the sound of the door opening.

“Hi Perce,” you coo, letting the animal jump a few times in greeting before settling him down. Perseus soon becomes bored of watching you take off your shoes and wanders off, no doubt to find a toy to chew on.

The Blues have a game tonight, and it’s one of the few Friday night home games you can actually attend. Your office has a terrible reputation for scheduling mandatory team dinners on Fridays to ‘improve work flow and connection’. It’s mostly bullshit, but you can never get out of them for fear of getting reprimanded – your bosses take them very seriously. However, more than half the office was away at a professional development conference this weekend, meaning the rest of you were off the hook. You got home with just enough time to eat a quick meal and change into more comfortable clothing, including a much too large Parayko jersey. Perseus follows you to the door and whines as you say goodbye, but stops when you mention Colton returning in a few hours. The dog may have been yours originally but there’s no way anyone would know if you didn’t occasionally bring it up – Perseus is attached at the hip with your boyfriend, possibly soon to be fiancée. They do everything together and Colton is the one he drags out of bed in the morning to go to the bathroom.

By the time you get to the arena the stands are packed. There’s no way you’re getting down to the glass to possibly spare a moment with Colton, so you continue on your way, weaving through people and giving the occasional wave when someone recognizes you enough to call your name. Warmups are finished by the time you make it to the family and friends box and you settle in beside some of the other girls to watch the game unfold. The ring box sitting on the kitchen counter is all you can think about, especially when someone mentions how they recently had a sister get engaged and pass around pictures of the ring. You know you won’t have one, that it will be Colton with something on his left hand, but you don’t care. You just want to spend the rest of your life with him.

The game passes in the blink of an eye. Truthfully you didn’t pay any attention, too focused on imagining a future with Colton. All you know is the Blues won, and that knowledge is in your brain only because everyone else in the box screamed about it. Colton put up four points, meaning he has to speak to the media, and he sends you a text not to wait for him. You drive home listening to a top-forty station tapping absentmindedly at the wheel. Something in your gut tells you that you have to propose tonight. It doesn’t matter that there’s no plan that there’s a chance Colton could say no. You’ve kept it inside long enough and now that you have the ring in your position you’re only going to become more spaced out waiting for the ‘perfect’ time to propose. Life is messy and unconventional, and you’ll be damned if you go through one more moment of it without being engaged to Colton.

Things move in slow motion as you wait for Colton to get home. Perseus is upset when you return sans large blonde man, but perks up when you give him a treat and take him outside to let off some steam. It’s warm enough that you don’t need a jacket, and you perch lazily on a patio chair. Your mind is moving a mile a minute, wondering what you’re going to do if you even do anything at all. Despite your haste to propose, you find yourself wondering if you’ll be able to vocalize those feelings. So many things could go wrong that you’re debating if the whole idea was good in the first place. You’re so caught up in your internal monologue that you don’t hear Colton come home, and only recognize his presence after he lets out a grunt when Perseus runs at him with full force.

“Perce, come on man. You know you’re too big to charge me like that,” Colton laughs, turning to press a kiss to your temple. “How was work today babe?”

You smile at his enthusiasm and give in, detailing the monotonous work you had gotten up to at the office and mentioning how nice it was that everyone was out of town. Colton agrees, saying it was nice to see you at a game without the worry on your face of missing important work-related things. The two of you converse in hushed tones, not wanting to wake the neighbours because it’s well past midnight, until Perseus decides he’s had enough of running around and heads to the door. You follow him inside but stop in the kitchen, Colton nearly running into you because you stop so suddenly.

On the counter, beside the sink and in plain view, is the box housing Colton’s engagement ring. You must have left it there in your rush to get to the game, and forgot it was even out to begin with. How he didn’t see it when he came home is beyond you.

“What’s wrong?” Colton asks, concern lacing his voice. You aren’t one to freeze up and the fact that you did is unnerving for him.

You shake yourself out of it, not wanting to alert him to the presence of the foreign object in the room. “Nothing,” you sigh, “Just tired and sore from the game. You know those seats hurt my back.”

He doesn’t buy it and is quick to let you know. “I call bullshit. The patio chairs bother you more and you were fine. Just talk to me baby, I just want to help.” You’re sheepish, knowing you’ve been found out, and just keep staring at the box in silence because you don’t know what else to do. Colton scans the kitchen to figure out what has you so spooked and eventually lands on the black box that nearly caused you to have a heart attack. “What’s that?”

It’s as if a dam breaks inside of you. “It’s a fucking ring box, with a ring inside it. For you. I want to get married and I know you’re not pressed because we have all the time in the world but I love you and I want to officially spend the rest of my life with you as soon as possible. So I went and bought a ring with Tyler the other day because I decided I was just going to propose to you because fuck tradition you know? I love you so much that it hurts and I want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me. And I was going to think of a cute way to ask but I left the stupid thing on the counter when I got home and here we are.”

Shock, followed by amusement and wonder, take shape on Colton’s face, but he does a good job at recovering for your sake. You can’t believe your emotions came out like that, and want to curl into a ball and never see daylight again. “I’m just gonna go to bed,” you mumble, but Colton stops you from leaving with a gentle hand on your wrist.

“Wait babe, let’s talk about this.” That’s truly the last thing you want to do, but know it’s the adult approach. You sigh and turn back to face the man you love more than life itself.

Colton immediately pulls you into a hug, providing reassurance that what you said and how you feel is valid. You clutch the back of his t-shirt tightly, not wanting to ever let go because it means you have to face the gravity of the situation. Though it’s obvious Colton wants to talk he doesn’t push, which you greatly appreciate. Minutes pass before you pull away, pulling at the hair elastic on your wrist out of nervous habit.

“You want to marry me?” The question tumbles from Colton’s lips in a rushed manner like he can’t believe it. You nod while giggling, finding it funny that he could be so shocked. “Well then,” he smiles, “Let’s see the ring.”

With a bit more encouragement you leave his side and pad around the island, grabbing the box and making your way back to Colton. You hand the sleek black box to him, and cover your eyes while he opens it. If he hates it you’d rather not know, considering you poured your heart and soul into this decision. It’s silent for a few moments and you know Colton has opened the box. Going against yourself, you peek through your hands to see him crying.

“It’s beautiful,” Colton breathes, the words catching in his throat from the tears.

Unsure what to do you reach up to wipe the tiny water droplets from his face. “Don’t cry Colt,” you whisper, but your words are watery because you’re crying too. Before you can speak again he’s filling the silence with the one word you wanted to hear more than anything in the world.

“Yes.”

Tears flow freely from your eyes now, and if someone were to see the two of you through a window they’d be concerned. You know you look a mess but the only thing that matters to you is putting that ring on Colton’s finger and making it official.

“Yeah?” The question barely makes it past your lips before Colton is picking you up and slamming his lips against yours. You return the kiss instantly – giggling and trying your hardest to show him just how much you love him. It’s messy, all teeth as excitement gets the better of you both.

It feels like hours pass while you kiss Colton, legs wrapped around his waist as he supports the two of you. Eventually you pull away, too excited to see the ring on his finger, and jump down. Wordlessly he passes you the box and you slide the gold band onto the fourth finger on his left hand. The sight of it shining takes your breath away and a giddiness fills your soul.

“We’re getting fucking married,” you squeal, wrapping your arms around Colton again because you can’t contain your joy.

He laughs, big and loud and hearty, and meets your gaze with a fondness that is indescribable. “I think it’s the best idea you’ve ever had.”

You couldn’t agree more.

#colton parayko imagine #colton parayko x reader #st louis blues imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #cwrites #hiiapl

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