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bruisedknucklesandbloodykisses · 1 year

Text

Boyfriend

CW: College AU; Unreliable narrator/reader; Delusional reader/Nobunaga; Unhealthy relationship; Lovesick reader; Insecurities (Reader); Possessive; Ignoring multiple red flags; Sexual content towards the end (Grinding, Messy Kisses)

Summary: You’re hesitant to ask Nobunaga on a date due to not wanting to destroy your friendship with him. He has other views on the subject at hand.

Word Count: 2,094 Note from Knux: I just wanted to say that I was very inspired by this fic from @uvobreakmylegs (they have the best writing PLEASE-). But, seriously wanted to give credit where credit is due though!

You leaned against Nobunaga’s side, his steady breathing helping to distract you from your nerves. It was so silly how nervous you were; it was just a date after all- well, it would be a date if he accepted. The words seemed to die in your throat, turning into a hard lump that made it hard to breathe, every time you tried to ask the simple question: do you want to go on a date with me?

Honestly, those words weren’t daunting at all and it was frustrating that you’ve never had any issues asking before. You were used to making the first moves on people you liked- sure, you haven’t done it since high school, but that’s besides the point. The point now is that you felt like you were drowning in your own emotions because you could spit out the damn phrase.

You glanced up at Nobunaga, taking in his face: angular, lips drawn into a thin line and his dark eyes focusing hard on the text in front of him. It was funny to you how you had convinced him to join you on this little study date- it made you feel fuzzy inside. Though, you had finished your studies and were simply keeping him company now. Which, you didn’t mind. If it meant that you got to hang around the silly athlete, the better it was.

You sighed, nestling closer to him, allowing your eyes to slip shut as you snuggled deeper into the blanket you wrapped yourself in.

“Hmm, getting bored?” Nobunaga’s voice said, startingling you out of your dozing.

“Maybe,” you murmured against him, pressing your face further into his arm as you let your eyes slip close again, “but I don’t really mind if I get to sit with you.”

He snorted. “You sap. You sound like you really like me.”

“Well, yeah.” You quickly added: “we’re friends after all.”

He went silent and you couldn’t help the way your stomach started to churn with a strange sort of anxiety. A frown tugged at your lips, peaking one eye open to glance up at him. He seemed irritated as he glared at the book in front of him.

You slumped against him once again, both eyes open now, as you thought of how you (or what) had upset him. Nobunaga had a bit of a hairline trigger with his frustrations occasionally- you sometimes felt like you were walking a tightrope with him, but you didn’t really mind. It was just how Nobu was. Your silly friend who was sweet and always took care of you. Before him there was only you.

A small smile pulled at your lips. How did you ever make it without him?

“Ah, fuck- this thing is boring!” Nobunaga finally declared, slamming the book shut.

You couldn’t help but giggle despite how he jostled you around when he crossed his arms and pressed himself back into the worn (but comfortable) couch in your living room. “How about you take a break, I’ll make some tea, that sound good?”

He grunted, sulking into the cushions while you unwrapped yourself and laying the fluffy blanket on his chest and tucking it behind his shoulders after you got up. He had grumbled but let you continue with your antics. You laughed as you went to the small kitchen in the apartment- nothing too fancy, just big enough for the fridge, a sink, an oven, and a little bit of counter space for a microwave and the odd times you wanted to bake.

You reached into the cabinet right above what little counter space you had and pulled out two mugs. They were cute: a sleepy gray cat face and an overly excited white and tan puppy face for the other- they were round and the little cat reminded you too much of Nobunaga not to get. Though he had also insisted that he’d get the puppy one for you if you were getting the “damn cat” for him.

You traced over the smooth porcelain with the tip of your finger. Maybe… maybe you could just let things be. Let them snowball into dating all on their own. At least, that’s how you hoped that they were going to snowball. The worries began to pile up as you got to work making the drinks.

Nobunaga was a handsome guy with his angular features, fit form, and his glossy hair. The only downside to him was probably how radically his emotions could go from one end of the spectrum to the other but that was easily avoidable (at least you thought it was, there were several people who dined to disagree but you simply assured yourself that it was because of something they did. Not Nobu. Never Nobu). He could have any person in the world that he wanted if he really wanted- what was stopping him from pursuing someone prettier, more charismatic, more successful than you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

There was a level of anxiety that shook in your fingers as you had finished Nobu’s and your tea, stirring honey in the calming herbal mix.

You took a deep breath, trying to gather your wits. Your mind was wondering again. You need to stop before Nobu thinks something’s wrong because you won’t be able to control your tongue if he does.

You nod to yourself before going to pick up the two mugs just to stop as a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist and a sharp chin rests against the junction of your shoulder. “What’s wrong?” Fuck.

“Nothing- nothing’s wrong.”

“Now, now,” he started to lean his whole body weight against you, causing you to catch yourself on the counter. “ Lying ain’t a good look for you and we both know it.”

There was a certain edge to his voice that made your blood freeze. You had only heard it once or twice, just towards guys who didn’t know when to quit hounding and couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Never at you.

You licked your lips, squeezing your eyes shut as you willed your knees not to shake. “I-I’m not lying, Nobu-”

He shifted his feet, pressing himself even harder against your back, like he was trying to become a second skin. “Lying doesn’t look good on you.” He repeated, squeezing his arms around your stomach. Hard.

You wheezed, hands scrambling to hold onto his arms. Though, you made no attempt to pull him off. It was so fucked up how you were relishing in how close he was despite how angry he was at you. You just wanted to be held by him- be close to him- you wanted to be as important to him as he was to you. You just wanted to melt into him.

What a horrible friend you were.

Your chest burned like you had ran a marathon and suddenly the world was spinning and your eyes were stinging with tears that rested heavy on your lashes. How pathetic.

Hearing a sniffle come from you, something seemed to snap Nobunaga out of his frustrations. “Hey, you ok?” He began to loosen his hold on you, muscles relaxing until your shaking hands squeezed his wrists.

“No…” You whimpered, “no, please- please don’t let go.”

You sounded so weak and frail. It made Nobunaga’s heart leap to his throat. He squeezed his arms around you again, much more gently compared to a few moments ago, but enough for you to know he had no intentions of leaving.

It was a couple of moments until you stopped shaking. By this point, you were leaning back against him, hands still resting on his as he held you. His face nestled against your neck. “You feelin’ ok to talk?”

He wasn’t letting this go, was he? You took a deep breath, releasing it as you nodded against the side of his head.

He pulled away from you slowly until his face was level with your peripheral. His eyes were dark and observant. “What’s wrong?”

Your throat felt tight again, but you still forced yourself to talk. “I- you- what… would you…” you lick your lips. “Would you date me? If I asked you out?” Your hands were sweating and you looked away, instead, focusing on the smooth skin of his arms, running your fingers over the sparse hairs.

When he didn’t answer you began to shift, uncomfortable on your feet. Your skin feeling like it was boiling. This was stupid. You were stupid. You just ruined your friendship with Nobunaga. You’d never be able to see him again- you’d just have to sit like some stranger while he moved on with someone that was on his level- someone who was prettier, more talented- better than you. He was going to leave you behind and take your bleeding heart with him-

“I don’t get it.” You felt a sudden dread rest deep in your chest. He sounded mad. “Why do you always talk like that? Like we aren’t dating already?”

Huh?

Before you can voice anything, his hands come slamming on your counter, once again caging you. You can see the veins pulse on the side of his temple, frown deep as he seethes: “you think I act like this with everyone? Think that I get like this-” one of his hands glides down your spine, a gasp leaving you as when he grabs your ass in a tight grip and presses your hips hard against his. You gape. He’s hard. He’s so, so hard- “with everyone?” He begins to grind against you, hot breath moist against your cheeks as he huffs in frustration. Your hands scramble to hold onto his shirt, head spinning with too many things at once. “I only get this fucking hard with you- it fucking- oh, fuck- do you know how hard it is not to grab you and shove you face first into the closest surface I can? Not to rip you apart? You’re like- like a damn lamb: dumb and oblivious to everything around you-” he grunts when you hike your leg up on his hip (or try to, it’s a bit of an awkward endeavor considering how close he’s pressed against you).

You’re desperate. You want more of his demeaning words. You want more and more of his attention. You want him to sink his teeth into you and rip you apart. Your blood boiling with white, hot want. “‘M sorry-” you gasp as you begin to rock your hips back against his; sloppy and uncoordinated. “‘M sorry, I didn’t notice. I was-” a moan wretches out of your throat. You crane your head back, the expanse of your neck presented to Nobu, who wastes no time pressing wet, open mouthed kisses against your salty skin. “You’re just so beautiful, there was no way you’d want to go out with someone like me-”

A growl comes from deep within his throat. His hands have come to dig into your hips, guiding you to grind harder against him. “You're so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid- you’re mine. Mine. No one gets to see you like this.” He crushes his lips against yours. The kiss is all teeth and tongue- a mess of passion and repressed frustrations.

You couldn’t get enough.

“‘M yours. ‘M yours-” you chant against his mouth, head spinning, close to the precipice of an orgasm. Teetering on a precarious line that, whichever way you end up tipping, you’ll be drowning in the euphoria of having Nobunaga suffocating you in his affections.

He lets out a loud moan, all guttural and masculine, it has your legs trembling. He uses one hand to squeeze your cheeks, swirling his tongue with yours in a sloppy french kiss that has drool dripping from the corners of your mouth. “You’ve been mine since I laid eyes on you.” He pants, his forehead resting against yours, his hips coming to a stop. You whine at the loss of friction, the leg that is still hooked over his hip trembling with leftover electricity. He chuckles, pressing pecks to your lips. “I’m not letting you go.” You envy how even his voice despite having humped you like a dog in heat only a moment ago.

You nod, not trusting your voice. You would give him anything he asked for. Whatever to keep him near you.

So, you follow him, with your heartbeat pulsing in your ears, as he pulls on your wrists towards the couch, tearing your clothes from your body. You accept that he’s going to tear you apart with open arms.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #x reader #reader insert #nonbinary reader #n/s/f/w #hxh nobunaga #nobunaga x reader #yandere #yandere nobunaga #tw: unhealthy relationship #tw: possessive behavior #tw: cussing #tw: yandere themes #Hmmmmm #love me some moody samurai man #also I feel like the yandere in this one isn't nearly as overt as I wanted it to be but hopefully people still like it lmao

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esta-elavaris · 2 months

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Hi!

Sooooo, I was wallowing in self pity because there was no HWFG (no pressure to write or update! I just can’t be normal about that story) so I went to check your ao3 and was surprised to see that you’re a fellow James Norrington truther! It inspired me to rewatch the first two pirates of the Caribbean movies and I kinda fell into the norrington rabbit hole again.

That made me read fallen through time and I honestly became OBSESSED so when I was done with the chapters you posted for that story I immediately turned to catch the wind and,,,,,,, [insert unhinged meme about ripping out guts]. I started reading it on Saturday and I couldn’t put it down so I read through two nights and am now tired as fuck, sitting at work, trying to appear busy while still reading your story. What have you done to me!!! I just read the wedding night chapter (I’m going insane, that had no business being so hot???) and honestly, that was so rewarding? Very well written smut aside, the slow burn was soooo good and there were moments where I had actual tears in my eyes??? Theo’s pain when she overheard Elizabeth accepting James‘ proposal? AH!!!! I adore their relationship. The banter, the soft moments, their conflict, their quiet conversations (though I must say I maybe even like it more in fallen through time? He’s just so mean, suspicious and stupid at times in that one, I live for that). I feel like theyre the definition of „she fell first, he fell harder“ and at one point i was really reminded of something I’ve read elsewhere… it was something like „you’re looking at me with purpose“ and that’s just so spot on for James? He’s so devoted to her it makes my heart melt.

On that note, it’s so impressive how much research you’ve done?! And how much thought you’ve put into everything? It’s not easy to write for that time period (I say as a person with two degrees in history lol), especially when it comes to balancing the cultural differences between norrington and Theo? That made everything even more fun to read.

And it’s so impressive how you manage to have this story follow the events of the movies but for it to never become boring or repetitive? You manage to capture the characters we all know and love so well while also making them your own. Your James, of course, is spot on, but also Elizabeth and will? And in all honesty, I maybe like your jack sparrow more than the canon one. He serves as comic relief so much that you sometimes forget he’s a seasoned pirate and much more intelligent, provident and even dangerous than one might think. He feels much more human in your story in my opinion. And that moment where he returns to Tortuga and confronts Theo about the cannibals? I laughed so loud that my bf woke up lol

Okay so I’ll stop rambling now, I just wanted to drop by to tell you how much I love your work and how glad I am that I checked out your norrington/theo stuff. Theo is amazing and I love them both so much. My boss just left the building and I sure will spend the rest of my time at work today reading, they don’t pay me enough anyway. I so hope that her attempt at changing James’ fate will work out and I’m very anxious but also excited to find out where this all goes!

Sending love and appreciation from Germany!

I know I'm on a tumblr break but this is too nice and it has me crying too much to leave it to gather dust in my inbox 🫠🫠🫠

Thank you so so so so SO much!!!

Honestly Catch the Wind will always have a special place in my heart (the people who have sat and watched me continue to talk about it ~14 months after it was finished are like "we know, babe") because I wrote it like, being somewhat fond of Norrington but mostly to get the idea for a Boromir fic out of my system, and instead I ended up sick over Norrington and still writing the Boromir fic anyway. Buuut I mean I got my favourite project so far out of it so I can't complain, I just laugh at how I played myself. Tbf tho, it was a great thing because POTC was a great stepping stone towards even more intimidating LOTR territory!

I'm so glad the smut was decent, too! That was the first story I've ever written it for and I was so nervous about it 💀 I do completely agree with your view on Theo and James as a couple though - the falling first/harder, and the "you're looking at me with purpose" both. I just don't think he'd ever be the type to get complacent. He's not a man who lays on the charm to win the girl, before thinking "what's the point in continuing to try?" once he "has" her. I see him as being such a ride or die, insanely loyal, "that is my WIFE", Gomez Addams coded guy, I love him for it. Those sitcom coded jokes where a guy hates his wife the second he marries her would be the very opposite of his kind of thing. That's why I had so much fun giving him that back in Theo, considering Elizabeth doesn't return his feelings in the movies.

And I mean, I don't think he's owed that from her and I don't think less of her for not returning those feelings, she can't help it (although I do raise my eyebrows at anybody who'd choose Will over The Noz, but people are allowed to be wrong ig), and I think if anything it'd be worse if she did marry him in the end without having that same level of feeling, but it was just so nice to give him someone as dedicated to him as he was to her in Theodora 🥹 I also think Boromir has a lot of that in him, so I'm very excited about his future with Sybil.

I'm also so thrilled to hear the research went appreciated - a lot of it was very fun, like if I hadn't done an Eng Lit/Creative Writing degree, I would've gone into history (I actually almost did do a second degree in history but the funding didn't work out, so I stick to just reading a lot, which I'm cool with), and like most of it was fun, but there were times when I was googling a) the origin of the coffee table, and b) 18th century equivalents of a coffee table/accent table at 4am for the sake of one throwaway line where I did wonder about my path in life. I swear, I deep-dived into it in the notes usually because I at least wanted to make it clear when I had done my research vs when I was knowingly deviating (a few unknowing mistakes did slip through but I think how much research otherwise went into it kind of makes people more willing to overlook a mistake here and there?) but also because it meant I could get more out of said research binges than just one unnoticeable line in a random paragraph 🤡

And JACK. God. I could write a dissertation on Jack. What they do to his character in movies 4/5 are 90% of the reason I don't like them and have only seen them once each. The other 10% is that uhhh they're just crap. Like it's so, so clear in the first three - mainly because of JD's fab acting - that the eccentric thing masks a lot of intelligence and cunning. He'll do his whole "weirdo" shtick, and I don't even think it's entirely an act, I think he is truly eccentric to an extent, but there'll just be these really brief moments where there's just a gleam in his eye, or he'll be suddenly serious for 0.5 seconds and you see what's going on behind the mask, and you realise it is a mask. Whereas in 4/5 it turns into a thing of "idiot who bumbles around and finds his way by sheer luck", which was never what he was in the trilogy.

I also think his crew's reaction to him shows that he is more than willing to be a hardass captain when it comes to it - the moment off of the top of my head is when Cotton's parrot goes "walk the plank" in movie two and his gun is immediately out and he's not happy and they all kinda startle a bit. But even without glimpses like that, like, they're pirates. If he was weak, and he wasn't willing to be stern and not take shit, they wouldn't follow him, and he wouldn't be half as infamous as he is. They know he's odd, but it's clear they respect him, so he must have earned that respect.

He was the one I was most scared of having to write going into this thing (along with Barbossa and Beckett), because he's so easy to get wrong. I'm always so, so thrilled when I hear I did him justice!

Okay, I have written you an entire dissertation here, so I'll stop now and just say again THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!! 💜💜💜 I've read this like ten times since I first received it, it had me grinning like an idiot every single time, I'm so grateful -- and I hope you like what I have in store for HWFG! The wait shouldn't be tooo long, I'm taking April off of posting but not writing, so ideally I'll have something to post in the very beginning of May!

(and I'll reply to your other ask in a bit, I just wanted to make it clear I wasn't ignoring this!!)

#asks #CTW #james/theodora #dissertation!lucy strikes again

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tiffanytoms · 5 months

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20 Questions

Okay, sorry for how procrastinator-y I was (no seriously, it's shameful how far I had to scroll, ahah) but THANK YOU to @chiechie97 and @practicecourts for tagging me in this! 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 😄

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

*quickly learns how AO3 works* 914,127… wait. Really?? 🤯 Well shit, okay 💅

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Jily 🥰

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Enemy Within

What Are You Doing to Me?

Whatever You Say, Professor

Baby Bird

Right Reasons

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Fuck yeah! I love chatting! It still blows my mind that ppl want to talk about one of my hobbies with me 🤣

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooooo. I think Wickedly Twisted will take the cake, but that ending is still solely in my head for now. Wait, no, nvm, I literally wrote Jily DYING in WAYDTM. Sooo yeah. Probably that.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oo! Okay. Well I’m still gonna write an epilogue for WYSP that gonna be so sugary sweet it’ll spread diabetes, but otherwise it’s probably a 3-way tie between Chicks Dig Scars, Magic James, or Baby Bird bc they all end on the implication that Jily will then ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

*Blinks so slowly time stands still* Yeah, but only if they’re that good.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

*Grins so quickly the world implodes* Hell yeah! The dirty, filthy, wonderful kind! (Idk, it depends on the fic!)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I guess so? Bc RR is based off of The Bachelor 🌹

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yuuuuup. Had one scene ripped off so blatantly (like, almost all the elements) that it honestly put me off reading too many other ppl’s Jily stories for a bit, bc I really never want to put another author thru that. Now I can 💯 percent guarantee that all my ideas and the scenarios are my own. Sucks though, bc obviously I’m here bc I love reading Jily. (I’ll definitely go back to reading when I’m not in the midst of writing 2 stories though.)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve had ppl ask, but I don’t know if they ever followed through!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope! I think my way of doing things would honestly drive someone else insane, soooo I’m fine with going it alone 😅

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Jily 😍

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Well that’s just rude. (I’d never not finish, I’m far too stubborn. Fuck you.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Obsession, psychology, and an insatiably horny zest for life!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Impatience. I think sometimes good things take time, and I’m over here too bored to write the boring bits 😆

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

That’s cool

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First one I published was SMALLVILLE, but I think I had a very angsty childhood day where I wrote a whole scene about how much Harry hated Vernon and honestly it was very disturbingly graphic and yeah. Glad I’m more into smut these days! 😁😇😁

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Aaaah! Hm. 🤔 Okay. That’s a toughie. For my heart and soul, I’d say WAYDTM, bc honestly, I really do feel like I poured all my feelings into that one. But from a purely writing standpoint, EW, bc it just all came together, and I know the storyline is legit, and I feel like I had ppl obsessed with it and it was really nice! 😅

#20 questions #writer asks #writer things #writer thoughts #tiff tag

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rriavian · 7 months

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20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @honeyteacakes <3 Ok so some of these answers will be a little odd because I’m still posting some of my work anonymously. Tagging @aisalynn :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So with all the anon ones included it's 48

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

465,649

3. What fandoms do you write for?

There are a lot I’m still anon in, but right now it’s mostly the Sandman :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Baiting the Trap is the only one I can reveal but Deliverance is also very high on the list.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! At first I was far too shy but now I always try to respond to everyone. Sometimes I spend weeks thinking of what to say in response, or just feeling so so happy I want to give an intelligent reply. I just really want to set aside the time to go through and properly reply y’know? But then it’s like a month (or more) later and I feel terrible for not letting this person know how much their words mean to me, but I always try and respond eventually.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’m not really a fan of ending my fics on angst, there’s a perfectionist part of me that is like ‘that’s not an ending that’s the middle of an arc’. Not that I think all endings need to be happy! I just think that I personally don’t find a resolution in it. Though now I think about it In Silence was pretty open ended, bittersweet but more bitter leaning I think.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably one I’m still anon for, but out of the one’s I’m not I think it’s actually pretty even. I’d say the ending of Deliverance is probably going to be the answer to this question though when I get around to posting it.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no! I’ve been very lucky to not have received hate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I am new to smut, but I suppose my kind is the sort that somehow manages to add an improbable amount of plot.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not! While I used to absolutely adore reading them I’ve not written any :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! Hopefully I never will because it really doesn’t seem pleasant.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! And I don’t think I’ll ever get over it because the first time someone asked it honestly blew my mind.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve co-written outside of fandom, but never co-written a fic within it. I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed—I love collaborating on little scenarios on tumblr, it makes me so happy!—but my writing habits are weird and probably off-putting. The brain writes what it wants, usually out of order, and I’d not want to stress anyone out with how inconsistently I write things.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I’m going to have to be boring and say I don’t have one…but it’s honestly the truth. Corintheus is obviously very very special to me, but it’s a favourite without excluding other favourites. If that makes sense?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At the moment nothing :) I may be behind on where I wanted to be but as long as I want to write the fic I will finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m pretty good at characterisation, and how different characters might interact/conflict with each other. It’s usually easy for me to get into the head of who I’m writing. Maybe also unusual descriptions? I do like making them as vivid as possible, as lyrical and poetic as I want, but I also like to come up with something a bit unexpected.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with finishing fics sometimes, especially if they are multichaptered. I think within sandman I struggle with certain in universe details of things I don’t know because I haven’t read the comics. I’m not really reading ahead of the show, but there’s some things I will dig into so I have the detail I need.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If I was going to do it I’d probably try and find a native speaker, or do a ton of research. Not against it by any means but I think it depends on the scenario. I just wouldn’t want a reader to come across me butchering their language and just be completely taken out of the fic haha.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ooh. Erm. I’m not sure. Sandman is the first I’ve not been anon for :)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is such an evil question because how can I choose? Baiting the Trap is up there for sure (the whole series is really), but there’s also another fic I’m anon for that I love. Deliverance too. My self-indulgent Cat Dream fic. A slow advancing tide has definitely shot to near the top recently. Honestly it might be more apt to say that when I post a fic my general feeling is usually something like ‘this is my favourite fic I’ve ever written’. Though sometimes it’s for prose too. I’ve written paragraphs/lines and been like wow this is my favourite line ever.

#ask game #this was fun!

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delektorskichick · 7 months

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2 3 16 29

Assuming this is for the bored and anxious fanfic writer asks:

2) Do I read/reread my own fics?

Hell yes! Even fics that I’ve gifted someone else are written for me, by me, and it’s fic I want to see in the world. Since it’s fic I want to see in the world, I read it all the time!

3) What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Honestly it’s probably one of the two I’m working on right now that both kind of spiraled out of control? One is a (mostly) canon-compliant Clint/Nat/Laura fic that I wrote mostly at @cassiesinsanity’s urging, and the other is a multi-fandom spin-off of ANOTHER fic I’ve been working on (that was SUPPOSED to be a ONE-SHOT, dammit!) that is now longer than what I’ve written of the original fic.

16) At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

Unless a title slaps me upside the head at the beginning of a project (like honestly most of my NaNo works) it’s the last thing I figure out before I post it. And usually you’ll find me screaming into the void or scrolling those Criminal Minds quotes for something. Or I steal one a friend who’s read the fic comes up with.

29) Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

So here’s the thing. I don’t edit. I don’t cut things. I might spawn an idea or two that I never get to, but I don’t write them down. What little I do cut just isn’t really long enough to say that it’s an idea? I’m one of those people that will slap anything up on Ao3 once it’s complete enough to be coherent. Or I’ll use bits that fit for things like Whumptober.

BUT!

I dug through my word docs and found a thing that won’t be posted for a LONG time yet because I’m stymied on plot currently. It’s from a clintasha fic where Nat is a tattoo artist and Clint is a barista.

Natasha walked into Howlie’s Ink Parlor -affectionately known as just Howlie’s- on Fulton Street, fifteen minutes late and without her usual Starbucks.

How on earth Steve managed to see her from where he was bent over his buzzing needle, Natasha didn’t know, didn’t want to know, honestly. But see her he did, and she heard the raised eyebrow in his voice when he spoke.

“Cutting caffeine cold turkey there, Nat?”

Natasha growled quietly at him as she slumped down on the stool at her station, chucking her bag under the desk with a careless thud. Her head was pounding, and she couldn’t even manage to be disgusted at the gooey love eyes Steve was making at James over his literal labor of love. He was putting the finishing touches on the scar-covering tattoo that he’d been tweaking and refining for the last eighteen months on James’s left arm.

Normally, Natasha would have just rolled her eyes and pulled out either some new flash sheets she was working on or pull up a design to do some last-minute tweaking of her own for a client. Normally her ferry was on time. Normally the last Starbucks before she got to Howlie’s wasn’t closed to undergo surprise repairs.

Normally she probably could have handled all that and just laughed it off, getting herself a cup of Steve’s horrible instant decaf in the breakroom and pretending it was real and bitching about her, admittedly ridiculous, commute.

But damn Matt Murdock and his shitty-ass timing. She hadn’t gotten any sleep last night, and she was getting too fucking old for that kind of shit.

Hope that was what you were looking for!

#minirant #questions

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maybeimamuppet · 4 months

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2, 5, 9, 11, 16 for the fic asks?

hello darling friend tysm for the ask!!

2, will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc?

if i’m asked to absolutely!! i think they seem so fun but being in smaller fandoms i think they’re a lot harder to figure out. i’ve actually considered forming a few of my own for like halloween or the holidays and stuff but i’m kind of the only cadnis writer still somewhat consistently active and everyone else who writes for mean girls is into very different things (which is great we love to see it but it makes group stuff hard lol) and matilda i haven’t checked up on in so long i have no idea what’s going on in that little corner anymore whoops

5, which wip is first on your list to complete this year? will you post a snippet?

we are continuing my beloved series of ‘someone has to write all the cliche fics for this ship and by golly it might as well be me”! from the looks of things the first one to be finished will be a college au (professor/student) that i’m honestly really proud of. i’ve been hammering away at it for a while lol. but we also have a few more like that and obviously plenty more that aren’t that i’m not gonna spoil just yet but i’m very excited for them :)))

“As long as I’m your professor, this can’t happen, no matter how badly I want it to,” Cady says with a sniffle. She gently presses a kiss to the corner of Janis’ lips before she pulls away and takes a couple steps back. “I’m so sorry, Janis.”

Janis watches her go for a minute, barely feeling the frigid rain slamming against her face. Cady hunches in on herself and clicks off. “What about when you’re not my professor anymore?!”

Cady freezes and turns to look at her. “What?”

“Once I graduate,” Janis begs. “Can we be together then?”

“…Technically, yes, we could,” Cady says. “But-”

“Wait for me,” Janis says. “Please.”

Cady bites her lip, but she nods after a second. “Okay.”

“You will?” Janis asks, finally feeling hopeful enough to smile for the first time in what feels like years.

“I’ll wait,” Cady agrees. “If you’re willing to do the same. Come to me once you graduate, and… we’ll see what happens. Okay?”

“Okay,” Janis says, smiling around a sob. Cady does the same before she continues walking away.

unproofread snippet brought to you by maybeimamuppet :)

9, short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in january?

i’m really hoping to have that and the next chapter of pt done by the end of the month!! my third writing birthday is at the beginning of march and i’m really hoping to have a batch of fics ready to crank out by then :)) matilda is kind of wonky for the time being bc i have very few wips and i need time to sort through which requests i can actually do/want to do so they might be a while but focusing on my meanies for a while will be a nice change i think!

11, would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

i don’t think i do!! at least not in fics lol i’m good with my romance and family fluff sorta genres i’m in but i am trying to write a few publishable like real actual books that are a little different so we’ll see how that goes!

16, do you have one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? will this be the year come hell or high water that it WILL get finished and posted?

UHHHH honestly most of my wips are kinda like that lol. i hyper focus on one and then get bored with it and move on to a new one and herein lies the cycle of Big Issues. so i have a lot of like half-done oneshots (including requests i literally got in 2021 and am sobbing trying to get done i feel so bad). i do have an entire folder of ‘unpublishable fics’ that will never see the light of day. they’re mostly just writing exercises but some of them are just really embarrassing so most of them stay there lol. and i have a multi-chapter The Good Place au i started years ago and couldn’t figure out other than the title but i only wrote a couple scenes for it but that probably also won’t ever see the light of day. ce la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#thank you friend!!!#entropy with ezzy #ezzy gets an ask

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angiees-animaniacs-art-blog · 1 year

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Just finished S3 and honestly… I never really liked the reboot way too much in the first place so the third season didn’t really make it all that much better. I do like S3 more than the other two seasons though. Episode 8 was amazing!

I do kinda hope they get a fourth season. I don’t want the series to die, I just want them to write it better. It needs work but it has a lot of potential! I think the reboot is… okay.. but I like the original way better. It had more characters so it wasn’t repetitive, said characters were written better and less stale, etc. The only characters I thought were consistent in the reboot were Pinky & The Brain. I really wish the Warners were more likeable and less boring in the reboot 😭

So basically, to me, it’s okay! Nothing brilliant but nothing horrible either. It’s enough to make me miss the fandom and writing stories about it, so that’s good! I’ll finally get the motivation to finish my unfinished fics!

#I’ll miss you Animaniacs 😔#RIP (unless u get a fourth season that’ll be pretty cool!)#until then… you will be missed :(#animaniacs #animaniacs 2020 #animaniacs season 3 #no spoilers just a review!

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sofoulandfairaday · 10 months

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Forgive me if you've already said this, but where can I read your fics? Your opinions are always very interesting and I am intrigued to see them developed into a story.

Ya can’t lmao

No, see, I mostly write for myself because I enjoy it and therefore it’s shameless self-indulgent content. I cry when writing sad scenes, I giggle at the crack-y ones, I get flustered with the smut, I spend hours researching the little details like book titles and whether jasmine grows in Venice or not and what the magical hierarchy of cities is and how dark magic can also heal and not just destroy and how not to make the characters overpowered because that is such a pet peeve of mine. It’s very VERY specific to my taste and I overthink every single word I write (yes, the curtains are yellow for a reason). I do have a very long 50+ chapter WIP which will maybe be published when finished. Since every fucking chapter is about 8K words long it will never be finished and no one will ever bother reading it ihihihihi.

(Just publish the first chapters!, you say. I wish I could write linearly, I reply)

Also, there is another HUGE problem. Most of my stuff is written in Italian. The very few excerpts on here are translated. Do you know how hard it is to try and convey the precise feelings you had when writing something, the word plays and the very specific descriptions in another language? It’s a whole job, and a boring one most of the time, which means that my Anna Karenina length fucking fan fiction (not even close to finished) has to be translated by me in my nonexistent down time. Also, I used to be one of those people who bitched about GRRM, but MAN my story has maybe spiralled into 100 different directions and I have no idea which version of the characters I want to stick to, what order I want to give certain events, and if they are IC or not anymore. Can you tell that I’m a perfectionist and I make even fun things unfunny?

Which is also why I’m so behind with the fics I want to read and review both in eng and ita. I DO see the new stuff published and I have NO time to look at it let alone tell the author what I think.

(Also I erase half of what I write because cringe and I have a self-insert OC - double cringe - that was meant to be a fun minor wink wink character in two (2) chs that has become important so now it CAN’T be a self-insert and i have to make psychologically complex except now she’s too bitchy and then she’s not bitchy enough to the point she is nothing like me now which kind of invalidates the point entirely. Also, I hate everybody else’s OCs so why should my writing have one when I could concentrate on other characters?? Except I can’t give her role to anyone else unless I rewrite half of the whole thing so I am stuck and-)

When Olivia Rodrigo said and I hate every song I write and I’m not cool and I’m not smart (and I can’t even parallel park) that’s me :))))

I am so sorry anon by the way this wasn’t meant to be a rant you’ve just opened Pandora’s box and now I’m afraid I come off as a little unhinged. I am honestly flattered that you would send this, bless you. You’re my favourite ❤️

WITH THAT BEING SAID, there is something of mine on the internet (most of it SUCKS). Unless you know Italian you won’t be able to read it though. My account on a very popular Italian fanfic site still has my old little Bellamort song fics from when I was 13 (I can’t even bring myself to cancel them because cancelling them would mean opening them and opening them means I combust from the cringe). My views of the characters have also changed and I stand by NOTHING lmao. There is also some new stuff which is all smut (some I’m proud of and some I’ll delete as soon as I get over myself and just open the damn site) and maybe one (1) one-shot that I’m actually proud of.

And in English? The only thing that has ever been translated in English as of now is 8K+ words of filthy (and I mean filthy) PW very little P smut which I will not link on an account that actual people from my actual offline life might find (it’s hard enough to explain what’s on here) . However if you know me it’s not impossible to track down (or you can just dm me). There is no deeper meaning or philosophical themes or anything like that tho; if you’re attracted to my thoughtful metas where I quote and dissect the book passages or my quirky headcanons where I tease the characters, this is not that. This is just them fucking.

Sorry ❤️

#I think I exposed myself with this one #it’s literally THE most flattering thing in the world to receive an ask like this #idk why you would want to #but it still makes my day

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slightecho · 10 months

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How do you find motivation to write? (love your work by the way!)

ALSKDJF thank you!!!!

My motivation to write is honestly so hard to explain…. It’s a really weird tightrope between my overactive daydreaming and my ADHD 🥹

The real trouble I have is keeping my momentum going and not running out of steam the second my ADHD latches on to something else, or I hit a small bump in the road. As a general tule, a lot of the time when I write it’s because I need an outlet for the scenes that are just playing in my head constantly, distracting me. I talk a lot, and I like to infodump in my everyday life, too, and it comes through in my writing sometimes.

Because of this need to infodump the scenes in my head, combined with my own fear that I’ll lose the plot due to my ADHD, I’m a big user of what’s called the “vomit draft,” where you basically steamroll through writing the first draft of something without care for perfect grammar, typos, spelling mistakes or wording things perfectly. This helps me feel secure in the fact that if I go fast enough, I won’t face this issue with my attention and focus.

Now, the term “vomit draft” is typically used to describe drafting an ENTIRE story before doing the editing. And I have done that before, but it didn’t really work as well for me as the version I’m doing now. A lot of times for me, trying to vomit draft a WHOLE piece first just resulted in me either running out of steam, or beginning to feel like the editing was a big, scary, insurmountable task (ask me about my Bungo Stray Dogs Heathers AU fic that never got finished). I‘ve found that turning the process of editing into a big, scary project of it’s own is the quickest thing to demotivate me, and it becomes a massive roadblock.

So recently, I’ve kind of adjusted my “vomit draft” style so that I’m instead taking each chapter as it’s own smaller unit, and vomit drafting them each individually. To help myself do this with “Ashes” in particular, I’ve got a notebook literally FULL of notes so I can keep track of all the small, throw-away details I’ve written. Mostly cause I’m very scared of contradicting myself in this one. Keeping a notebook like this isn’t a regular thing for me. My mentality behind this style of vomit drafting is like… if I can vomit draft this chapter quick enough, I can move on to the next exciting thing I want to infodump. Which is exciting to me! And it has the added bonus that it allows me the freedom to upload the chapters as soon as they’re done, and get enjoyment out of the work, due to my need for validation. Every chapter becomes a goal post for myself, that way!

And that’s what REALLY keeps my motivation going, so I don’t hit a roadblock on the story. By the time I post a chapter, I’m already excited because I know I’m about to steamroll through the next one cause I’m just so excited to dump that out, too! And I’m subsequently getting the validation from hitting my last goalpost and feeling like I’ve accomplished something at the same time.

Is my method for everyone?? HECK NO. Is this me given you full proof advice?? Also no. What works for me is not gonna work for everyone else. But this is the method that’s worked best for me in the past: in every instance of a story I’ve actually finished writing, I was using this chapter-by-chapter vomit drafting method. And typically those stories didn’t even need a notebook full of notes!

(Seriously, the notebook is just an “Ashes” thing, and I cannot overstate how I’ve never before kept a detailed notebook like this before. Don’t feel like you have to that lmao! But if you want to hear more about it, let me know and I can get into it. Idk if that would be boring to hear about or not 😅)

TL;DR I race against time with my ADHD and create small goalposts for myself via a chapter-by-chapter vomit drafting method. This allows me to satisfy my need to infodump the scenes while also making sure I refuel my motivation by allowing myself to feel validated and accomplished via smaller goalposts 🥰

#oh i also have a spotify playlist #like a dedicated one #I might post it when the fic is finished #toh ashes au

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theselightsareblinding · 11 months

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Currently watching (june 2023)

(only thai dramas right now)

Be my favorite (ep5)

I started getting interested in this series when they announced the cast change, mostly for the drama. Then when the actual trailer aired I was like uhhh this could go very badly or turn out quite good, and at episode 5 I think we're going to get the second option. But I loved Vice Versa's first episodes and then it stopped making sense so I'm not 100% confident yet. This being said, I'm enjoying it a lot, both Gawin and Krist are doing an excellent job so far, all the characters have unique personalities and development, it has beautiful reflections about life and personal relationships. I can't wait for fridays so I can watch the next episode and that's the real test to know I'm loving it so far. Next week we'll get the "why do you like me?" and hair touch scene and I'm obsessed since I saw it in the trailer, I literally can not wait to watch it

Loneliness society (ep4)

I haven’t seen anyone mention this but this is an adaptation of a Sandra Bullock movie, which I like a lot so I decided to give it a try. So far so good, the mains are nice, have chemistry and it’s entertaining so far

Step by Step (ep9)

The problem I have with this series is that I was never able to connect with Pat, maybe because he’s so openly emotional and I’m not? But I can’t, I tried but no. I’m sorry but in my eyes he’s quite self centered and self important, I don’t understand why everybody, especially Jeng (who is his boss), has to change but not Pat. Like, at the start of the series he had been working there a month, I think? I don’t hate him, at all, but I don’t understand his character, I was waiting for him to get better, to have development, and it didn’t happen.

I was starting to get bored, and then we started getting Jeng’s perspective and I fell in love, so now I’m enjoying the series and I have a character I can root for. I don’t fully understand him falling in love with Pat but I want his happy ending so I still want them to get together

3 will be free (ep7)

This is one of The Series you’re supposed to watch and everybody says is so good, and in this case I agree so far. I was not expecting such quality and to get hooked so easily, I started it two days ago and I’ll probably finish it today or tomorrow, and I’m supposed to be busy right now. I love that there’s a bisexual character and obviously the relationship between the three of them but I can’t say anything else until I know how it ends. I’m very scared it’s not going to be a happy ending and I could accept that even if I’m going to suffer, but please I don’t want any of them to regret what happened or treat it like an adventure and not a real romance. That being said, if something happens to Shin I will kill everybody in this room and then myself

Finished

Our Sky 2

I don’t feel like writing a separate review for each series but in general I’d say it was kinda underwhelming. I knew it wasn’t going to be a masterpiece but I did expect it to be a bit better, especially the Aof ones. I wish they just showed the pairs being cute in their normal lives instead of creating plots that made no sense. MSP and NLMG are the only ones I can honestly say I liked, the others had great moments but it wasn’t enough. In order of enjoyment:

My school president

Never let me go

A tale of a thousand stars

Bad Buddy

Star in my mind

The eclipse

(I haven’t watched the ABAAB and VV ones)

Past-senger

This was a wild and silly ride from start to finish (especially finish). I did enjoy it, like reading a crack fic, sometimes what I need is bad watches with no expectations. Until the end, that was way too much for me, what in the world were they thinking I’d never know. One thing I have to say is the chemistry between the main characters was quite decent

Plan to watch

Hidden agenda (july 9th)

I didn’t hate Star in my mind but it was a bit of a waste of JoongDunk’s chemistry, they had a good connection in it and it was what saved the series, but it’s nothing compared to how comfortable they are doing fanservice in real life. I need whoever is directing this to please get that and carry it to the series intact. The first trailer showed more of the plot and the second one was basically them being cute together and even if I liked it, I hope that plot points still somewhat exist in the series

Wedding Plan (july 19th)

Another Mame series, I didn’t hate Love in the air so I think this could be good. The part I was more excited about was the supposed gl pairing but they didn’t appear at all in the trailer so I’m a bit worried about that

#be my favorite #step by step #3 will be free #our skyy 2 #past-senger #lonliness society #thai bl #thai ql #thai series #thai drama #currently watching #gmmtv #step by step the series #be my favorite the series #hidden agenda #hidden agenda the series #wedding plan the series

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hartxstarr · 1 year

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hey so I am BONKERS late but. I just wanted to say I love your writing excerpts that you put up!! Fracas au does some kinda thing to my brain and I always love seeing more of it, and even (especially!) with the tiny other snippets I love seeing your takes on the characters in general. I know from experience it can be hard to like old writing, but like. It was really good and you should be proud of it!! Anyway I probably could have worded this better but thanks for sharing and have a nice day :)

hello hello!! thank you SO MUCH honestly i know i can be a little hard on my old stuff (ESPECIALLY fracas) but just know that i dont actually hate any of it. i just compare it to my writing nowadays and see just how different it is! it’s always nice to hear that someone likes my writing. i’ll read the comment over and over again and get so happy. and then come back later and read it again lol so for you to say this means a lot to me 💚

fracas au was something near and dear to my heart at the time. i ended up posting like three works about it (one deleted) but i spent countless school-hours writing about it in notebooks and i have so many wips in my files…in the end, i dont have those notebooks anymore and only remember the barebones of the complete story as it was. fracas would have spanned from forest-dwelling reds and blues, to them taking down a Super Secret government operation, to them returning to their home once more. with many, many, many shenanigans in between, and overlapping storylines, of course.

anyways, here’s another 2017 snippet of a fracas wip i never finished. this would have been the opening to the fic haha (i have gone in and cleaned it up just a tiny little bit but i refrained from going too hard at it, least i end up finishing the entire thing)

---

“I ain’t sharing no vegetables with no-good, dirty Blues.”

Leonard squinted into the face of Sarge while the Red raised his chin in response—more so turning his nose up already to whatever the Blue leader was about to say than to his sudden proximity.

It was like a standoff in an old western movie and, if they were in a more sparse, drier climate—where thick evergreens didn't grow and the shabby pavement beneath their feet weren’t littered with pine needles—a pinecone could take the place of a tumbleweed and roll pass them down the length of the avenue, out of sight.

But as it was, they weren't in an old-town desert outside a local tavern, readying their pistols, spurs jingling. Instead, they were smack-dab in the middle of town in each others faces, the trees parting enough to let in a few good, generous rays of sunlight; and Leonard, swimming in his hoodie, didn’t seem to have a good rebuttal.

Despite this, Michael from afar whispered with as much enthusiasm as he would atop a theatre stage, “Leonard will win” like it was, in fact, some kind of duel-gunpoint competition set up for all of their amusement.

The Reds and Blues stood in a sort of collective semicircle, watching their respective leaders size each other up. Transactions never were an uneasy affair in Blood Gulch, the mutual desire for an item far more powerful than the animosity the teams constantly lived within—but, of course, Sarge wasn’t the one usually making deals.

Richard had tried to passively refrain his leader from going with him to make business with the Blues; he had wanted Dexter—as was the standard—but Sarge seemed to be bored that day, perhaps, and mentally decided that the only way to stir the light of day was to make trading far more difficult than it needed to be. Obviously. So, it was in his wake that the entirety of Red team came to witness Leonard still unable to come up with a response to his rival team leader's declaration.

“Oh yeah?” he tried after a moment more. “Well—we don’t want your fucking vegetables—”

“Yes, we do!” Lavernius threw his hands up in despair.

“Yes, we do want your fucking vegetables,” the Blue probably thought it was a pretty good save. “So—just give them to us,” and he still doesn't know what to say. “Why are you even here?”

Sarge seemed to swell at the question, back straight and towering over Leonard not in stature but in pure aura alone. “I'm here to make sure you don't swindle my team out of valuable goods!”

“Don't worry, Sarge!” Delano called out from the back. “My goods are too precious to give away so easily!”

“Thanks for the info, Delano.”

Del was always so unwaveringly cheerful. “You’re welcome, Sarge!”

#responding to this ask reminded me that i had deleted ‘’a bullet a base and a bed’’ off of ao3….#do you know of bbb anon???#likes to talk about things no one else knows what im taking about <-#im like ‘’yeah i have three fracas works on ao3’’ NO BITCH YOU DELETED BBB #regardless #this snippet comes from what was supposed to be the rewrite of bbb #green talks

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pearwaldorf · 1 year

Text

Fanwork roundup 2022

LIST OF FANWORKS

NSFW fics are indicated with an asterisk. All OFMD is Ed/Stede unless indicated.

(take for joy) from my outstretched palms (Ninja Assassin, Mika/Raizo)

the ravening clouds shall not long be victorious (OFMD, gen)

we've not yet lost all our graces (Good Omens/Hannibal, Will and Aziraphale)

siren (OFMD, companion ficlet for Pond's Monstrous May art)

[vid] western wind (OFMD)

fight off the light and stay with me (Good Omens Pacific Rim AU, Aziraphale/Crowley)

in the shape of things to come (too much poison come undone) (OFMD)

[vid] gay bar (OFMD, gen)

when the lights come on I'll be ready for this (Shang-Chi; Katy-centric, pre-Katy/Shaun)

* all the variations you could do with me (OFMD, Ed/Stede/Blackbeard)

until I saw you in my thunderstorm (Oxventure: Blades in the Dark, Alice/Peter)

* take me to the limit, hold me down there (OFMD)

there's a storm you've started now (Oxventure: Blades in the Dark, Alice/Peter)

* our bodies fear that this war won't end (can't live without the ache) (Malevolent, Arthur/John)

both have sharp teeth (Interview With the Vampire, Grace and Lestat)

* don't look in the mirror look into my eyes (Critical Role/Legend of Vox Machina, Percy/Orthax, Percy/OMC)

I took no time with the fall (Glass Onion, Blanc/Phillip)

Tumblr ficliets

TOTAL WORD COUNT

31298 and 5:27 of vids!

by fandom

Ninja Assassin 1767

OFMD 13745

Hannibal 1123

Good Omens 4747

Rivers of London 202

Shang-Chi 266

Ox: BITD 2900

IWTV 1289

Critical Role 1892

Glass Onion 1239

Malevolent 1261

OVERALL THOUGHTS

I took last year off from writing because I had a lot going on (new jorb, getting on ADHD meds, pursuing other creative endeavors, I just didn't feel like it), but it's really good to get back to it. In a lot of ways it's like learning how to do it all over again. Having an approximation of neurotypical function has been interesting, because I can just… stop? And pick up the next day? And not have to try and keep pace with my hyperfocus to finish before I got bored like I used to? It is wild, and I’m still figuring out how it works.

And because I took last year off, there was a lot of going through unfinished stuff and finally getting it out the door (hence all the Good Omens). That was satisfying, but I'm glad to have a mostly clear plate now.

And what is now apparently perpetual copypasta: If, despite everything, you were able to produce work this year, congratulations. And if you couldn't, that's okay too. Next year will hopefully be better.

PERSONAL BEST/FAVORITE

A tossup between when the lights come on I’ll be ready for this and in the shape of things to come (too much poison come undone. Shang-Chi is a movie that is close to me and my experience and it was extremely gratifying to put so much of things I know and value into it. And because I am always contrary, I wanted to write a not-really fix-it for Ed and Stede. It’s prickly and uncomfortable and emotional, but not without hope, and I like that.

But honestly I felt like I leveled up as a writer in general this year. idk if it's the meds, but everything felt really good to write. Of course I still ran into trouble, but it didn't feel horrifically insurmountable or frustratingly despairing in the same way. Here's hoping it continues.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED

Vids never do well on AO3, so I'm not surprised they have low hits and/or kudos. And I worked really hard on them, so go watch them (on AO3, YouTube, whatever).

We've not yet lost all our graces is also extremely niche, and I do want people to read it and tell me if they like it.