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rafeyybabyy · 3 years

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I found myself while loving you

Summary: Draco Malfoy, Slytherin King, one of the meanest boys at Hogwarts finds he might not be who thinks he is after all

Pairing: Draco X Hufflepuff reader

Word Count: 2153

A/N: Helllooo loves!! So this is my first time EVER writing a fic so please go easy on me. Im so nervous to post this, but I want to start writing and I have to start somewhere! and see if I’m even good at it!! Honestly I don’t know if any of my followers read HP fandom fics but if you do please check this out, tell me what you think! AHHH anyways I hope you like it

Growing up we typically believe our parents can do no wrong. We hold them above everything and everyone. We learn to turn a blind eye to the wrong they sometimes do, even go as far as justifying it.

This is exactly what Draco did when it came to his father. Mr. Malfoy could do no wrong in the eyes of his little boy, even though all he did was wrong.

The only thing Draco wanted to do in life was to make his father proud, to be the spitting image of the man. He spoke like him, walked like him, held his head as high as he did. This didn't go unnoticed by his father, but this was not a “proud dad moment” type of situation. Lucious Malfoy took this as an opportunity to shape Draco into everything he wanted him to be, for his own personal gain.

Draco being in one of the most infamous death eater families meant a dark light was shed on him. Welcoming this with open arms Draco became the meanest student at Hogwarts, from the very moment he stepped onto the train the first day of first year.

Going into his fifth year, nothing has changed.

Draco sat with his gang of Slytherins in the Great Hall, back pressed to the table, his long legs crossed at the ankles stretched out in front of him, waiting for the newest first years to enter and get sorted into their houses. He threw his head back in laughter at a joke Blaise made. As his head was falling back into place, the smile on his face disappeared and his eyes widening. ‘That couldn't possibly be Y/N Y/L/N… absolutely couldn't be.’ He thought to himself as you walked into the room. You had not looked as you did last year. You had not been ugly by any means, just you, nothing special. You matured quite a lot over the short summer break, turning into a very beautiful young woman.

And he had definitely noticed.

He couldn't take his eyes off of you. In his shock, he leaned over and roughly shook Blaise by his shoulder, “Is that Y/N?”

“What? Merlin it is, she sure did change this summer.” Blaise said adding a whistle.

You were the true definition of a Hufflepuff, hard-working, patient, loyal, and one of the sweetest girls you would ever meet. Your Y/E/C eyes constantly shine with happiness, sending sweet smiles to everyone who walked by, no matter the scowls or disgusted looks they gave.

You made your way past the Slytherin table, eyes falling on Draco and sending him a small grin, tucking your hair behind your ear in nervousness. He had never looked at you like that before. Only taking notice of you when he was giving you an odd scowl as you walked past him and his friends in the hallway during previous years with a smile permanently etched on your face. You on the other hand had always taken notice of the Slytherin King. It was quite an odd thing, the sweetest Hufflepuff finding herself swooning over the meanest boy in their year. But you couldn't help it, you were simply intrigued by him. Wondering what made him the way he was. Wondering what had to have happened to make him so cold to others. And also wondering what kind of things made him smile, and how you wished you could do those things, wished you could make him smile. You sort of felt like a creep, due to the fact that you had never even really spoken to each other outside of being partnered with each other for a Transfiguration project last year. But you couldn't help the butterflies you felt whenever you saw him.

Something inside Draco changed that very moment. For the past two years he had noticed you, not a lot, but just enough to wonder about you from time to time. It was like he was seeing you for the very first time and he needed to know you, to know everything about you.

Throughout the entire sorting ceremony he couldn't keep his eyes off of you, where he was seated he had a perfect view of your side profile. He took notice in the way your eyelashes curled up, the soft freckles that dusted over our nose and cheeks, the way your head was slightly tilted as you watched the students with interest as they were sorted.

Simply breathtaking he thought.

As the first few weeks passed, things did not change. Draco spent every chance he got looking at you, trying to come up with an excuse to speak with you. Once again you had Transfigurations together. “Today you will be working in pairs to vanish a group of mice.” instructed Professor Mcgonnagal, “You may choose who you partner up with, begin.”

Before he even realized what he was doing Draco had jumped up from his chair and was standing over your desk saying “Would you like to be my partner?”

He was sure he shared the same shocked expression on your face. Cheeks turning a light pink you agreed.

Neither of you spoke much during the class, stealing quick glances at one another more than words. After successfully vanishing all of your mice in record time, you turned to him, “Well I can see you have very much improved since last year” a small teasing smirk playing on your lips.

“I'd like to think so,” he said shyly. This had to have been a mistake you thought, Draco Malfoy shy? Around you? No way, not possible.

As the thoughts were running through your head you heard him speak again, “Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? It's the first trip of the year.”

It seemed you forgot how to speak, your mouth opened and then closed, your mind suddenly completely blank.

“Nevermind, that was stupid, why would someone like you want to..”

“I'd love to go with you” you practically yelled as you realized he was spiraling, probably thinking you would want to do anything but spend time with him.

And then there it was, the smile that you rarely got to see, and you felt like your heart could burst. The bell rang and he stood up, “I'll meet you in front of the Great Hall after breakfast Saturday then,” he said, a smile still in full view. All you could do was nood, an expression of utter disbelief on your face.

The rest of the week flew by and next thing you knew you were walking out of the doors of Hogwarts with Draco by your side. The two of you spent the day walking around the shops, and stopping for a Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. You were surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. As much as you didn’t want to, you had always thought he had to be just as everyone said he was, mean. But you were completely wrong. As you got to know him more and more during your short time, you had a feeling there was a lot more to the boy.

As the months past your time spent with Draco increased. Meeting in the corridors before and after classes, sneaking you to the Slytherin table during meals, and sneaking you into his dorm for late night cuddles every so often.

This was completely out of character for you by others standards but with him you had never felt more yourself.

And Draco was feeling the exact same way. Slowly but surely his bad guy persona was fading, and people were starting to take notice. Word was getting around that he was becoming a different person. But he did not care anymore.

“He has to be faking it, he has always been the nastiest boy to walk these halls.”

“If his family could see him now they would not even recognize him..”

There was no way for him to not hear these things being said about him as he walked from class to class with you on his arm. And one day it finally hit him. They were right, he was not the same boy he had been the previous years, and he had you to thank for that. He realized now that this was him, this is how he was meant to be.

He had spent his whole life before this trying to live up to his fathers attitude and beliefs that he had become something he wasn't. But he was done, he was done trying to please him, constantly miserable from never seeming to be able to. He was himself now.

Word about the way Draco changed so drastically had finally gotten to his father. And it could not have happened at a worse time. This Hogsmead trip he had asked his mother and father to meet him, wanting to introduce you to them. Surprisingly he was not at all nervous, just excited to finally have you meet his family, thinking they would love you just like everyone else did.

The two of you sat in Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop waiting for them to arrive. The door opened and Draco shot straight up, straightening his shirt and hair as his parents walked in. “Father, Mother, it's good to see you. You both look well.” he said. “As do you,” his father said simply. His mother sent him a small smile, from her position behind her husband. Sitting down Mr. Malfoy wasted no time speaking of the rumors he had been hearing about his son. “It has come to my attention that you have changed Draco, and not in a way I would categorize as acceptable.” “You've lost your mind if you think I am going to let you lose yourself,” he sent you a nasty side eyed look, “because of a silly girl.”

You felt Draco tense beside you and instinctively interlaced your fingers with his to try to calm him down. This did not faze you , you know the reputation his father had and did not fool yourself with the thought of him being overjoyed at his son's new attitude.

Draco spoke as calmly as he could “The way I have been acting is certainly because of Y/N, in the sense that she has made me realize I do not want to be like my miserable father anymore.” He no longer cared if this was supposed to be a happy meeting, introducing his girl to his parents, no this was it, this was where he was going to break free of the hold his father had on him. This was where he was getting the stain of his family's name off of him.

This seemed to shake his father to the core, realization hit him that he did not have control over his boy anymore, and he was now his own person. His mothers head was tilted down but Y/N could see the small smile on her face. She knew what Dracocould be, and she was proud he was becoming his own person.

Without saying another word his father got up and stormed out of the shop, his mother throwing him a proud smile as she ran after his father.

“Draco I’m so sorry, I never meant for this to happen,” You said sadly.

Without saying anything he stood you up and pulled you into a kiss, breaking away to say “Let's get out of here,” with a smile on his face.

You sat by the fire in the Slytherin common room late that night wrapped up in Draco’s arms. He was still reeling from the day's events, he had never felt more happy with himself. “I can't remember the last time I felt this good...” he spoke so softly you almost didn't hear him. You turned to look at him, waiting for him to continue. “I've spent as long as I can remember tied up in the idea that I needed to be just like my father to make him love me, but I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be who I am with you all the time, with everyone. It's much easier than being miserable all the time.”

You took his face in hands, your thumbs stroking his jawline, “I always knew there was more under that hard exterior, I'm happy I was able to help you let it out.”

He dropped his forehead against yours, breathing deep, his lips landed on yours in the sweetest but most passionate kiss you had shared. It took your breath away and you were slightly panting as you broke apart.

“The only love I ever wanted was from my father. But now, the only love I want is yours. An… and i love you more than i can tell you.”

“And I love you just as much.”

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy one shot #hp fic #fanfic #draco fic #draco fanfiction

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symphonyofthewrite · 3 years

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Saw your post, getting stuff off your chest, I just wanted to say that I haven't seen the thing with the kids mentioned by anyone and it really stood out to me, I feel what you mean to some extent, because for me it was a stronger reaction, albeit you probably won't feel the same and that's, obviously, perfectly fine. I have an instant recoil these days whenever a character is around kids for like one second and everyone instantly goes "THEY LITERALLY ADOPTED THEM/THAT'S THEIR CHILD/THEY'RE A PARENT"... genuinely sick of it, and I went white as a sheet when I heard it, I wanted to pluck my eyes out. I don't know if it's an American thing but English speaking fandoms (well, those teeming with fancops that is) seem like they cannot process adult looking characters being in any near proximity to childlike characters without automatically imposing parenthood and family dynamics and it's becoming distressing to me. I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me.

Thank you so much for the ask!! I don’t get many asks so it makes me happy when I can talk meta with people 💛💛 (Sorry I’m a bit late in answering.)

Funnily enough I actually do agree with you. I didn’t have quite so strong a reaction, but I definitely had a very similar one when I first hear it.

My feelings were and are a bit mixed. I was saying in my other post that I would have preferred that I got to actually see this interaction; see the kids run by him and call him father, and him smile when no ones looking. I still think that would have been a better, more touching way to do the scene, and would have had more chance of me liking it (though I probably still would have felt very weird about it). (I think it especially would have been better because it would show that Alucard himself liked it, not that Greta was forcing the role on him.) I know that it was meant to be something touching, and pretty much everyone seems to like it (and I have seen some cute posts about it), so I just tried to like it too, and focus on the fact that all they were really trying to say was he was having a nice relationship with the kids, and that was indeed sweet.

But yeah, when I heard Greta say “I heard some of them calling you father” for me it was less a reaction of horror, and more a “HUH??!!”moment. When I heard it I was like “Alucard...you agree with this???!! This is how you see yourself??!!” I almost expected Alucard to refute it and say he didn’t see himself as a father to them. Like I seriously do not see Alucard as anything remotely close to a father figure, and it felt weird and wrong to me.

Like when I saw him interacting with the kids the first time, I didn’t think “oh he’s a father figure to them.” I just thought “yay, Alucard’s playing with some kids, and getting out of his bubble!!” I didn’t have any thoughts as to what his relationship role was with them, I just thought that first interaction was lovely.

And if I saw him interacting with the kids again, I still wouldn’t go “father figure” I’d just be like “yay, Alucard’s playing with the kids again, how sweet!!”

Sometimes the relationship doesn’t need a role or a label, ya know?

And I thought it was especially strange because…he literally just met them?? Like how can they possibly start calling him father when he’s played with them once or twice? Regardless of Alucard’s side or things, what group of kids would randomly call a nice man they just met ‘father’? Is...Is this a normal thing??

Anyways, back to Alucard’s side of things, Sypha’s line about Alucard being a teenager trapped an adults body has always been something that stuck with me and shaped how I view Alucard. I definitely view him as internally much younger than he looks. No matter how much I might hate them for what they did to him, I think Sumi and Take are about the age he actually is, and their relationship with him made sense to me. He’s still a kid—or at least young—he still needs his parents in his life, really. (That’s part of why I didn’t like that Drac and Lisa don’t go to him at the end. I personally don’t think Alucard really got closure, and in my mind I think he still very much needed them, and that would have been the perfect ending to his story in my mind, where everything comes full circle; He was forced to lose his parents and grow up too early, and only when he’s started to truly grow up does he get them back.) So yeah, I really don’t see him like a father at all. One of my main focuses in my Castlevania fanfiction is his relationship with Dracula, so I very much see him as the son, not as the dad, even when Drac isn’t around.

(Sidenote, come to think of it, I think this is another reason why Greta x Alucard is a nope from me. She’s very much an adult, so I just see a discrepancy between them that makes me feel weird about them being in a romantic relationship. If we need a label I feel like she fits as an older sister for him, guiding him and giving him support. Him unloading all his problems on her within just meeting her makes more sense if he’s like a younger brother who needs to cry to his sister. I felt weird about it in a romantic context when it was so fast. I mean I know he was desperate to talk to someone, and I probably would have done the same, but still).

“I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me”

^^ THIS. EXACTLY THIS.

I was honestly really hoping they’d go in depth into him dealing with his trauma, and how he’s still hurting from the wounds of it, and how he needs to heal. I thought that’s what his S4 arc would be about. I don’t think they gave him the chance to really process and work through everything that happened. (Again, I don’t think him just unloading all his problems on a nice stranger is truly working through his trauma. I would have much rather watched him struggle to trust her, and him telling her about his trauma happen later, and be difficult for him, and a deep, heartfelt moment).

Like I was saying in my other post, I think if they framed his arc in how he dealt with the town collectively, I think that would have fit better, and been more touching and satisfying. I would have liked to see him struggling to trust humans, and then see as time progressed how several different people in the town liked him and meant him no harm, and how he realized he could trust them, and that he liked them too. It wasn’t that he had a bad romantic partner and needed a new one. He believed he needed to be punished for killing his father, and in his deep loneliness he let these kids into his house and heart, and they turned on him because he was half vampire. That’s something pretty deeply ingrained, and not something a new romance just fixes by existing. He needed to work through that in a much deeper way.

I know this is gonna be a very unpopular opinion, and it's totally cool if you disagree, but in a weird way... I sort of disliked Alucard’s ending. Don’t get me wrong, Im glad he’s happy, and I’d certainly prefer it to him just getting more trauma like last season (*shudders*), and I don’t think him opening up his castle (and his heart) to humanity is a bad way to end his story, certainly not. I think that fits. And my heart did melt a bit at the "I'm weirdly happy" scene. But, where everyone else is like “*sobbing* happy endings for all our faves” ...I see the creators of the show trying to wrap everything up in a neat little bow, and while that’s certainly not all bad, I don’t love every aspect of that. Theres a time and place for that, but a show based on video games, for which there’s more content in these storylines isn’t one of them in my mind.

Sometimes some of the sadness needs to linger. At the very least, let it linger at the beginning of the season so you can work through it in a powerful way, you know? It may have been tough to see Alucard be more closed off, but I think it would have been more satisfying to see him open up his heart and go back to his old self if we saw his trauma leave lingering effects at the beginning.

To me it didn’t feel like a satisfying arc, it felt like the fairytale ending of “oh look he’s not apprehensive about humanity even after what happened! Oh look he got the girl! And the Castle’s a happy place now! Look he’s not sad anymore! He’s even a father figure to these kids! He’s totally moved on!” And all those things can be awesome when done properly, and when they have depth to them. But they didn’t work through the trauma to get there, so it felt surface level to me, and too fast. I really liked that first episode, and how we saw the two sides of him—one that's become more closed off, and the other that still buries the human despite his comments—and I also really liked the first interaction with the kids, and thought that was one of the few interactions that had depth to it and fit with his arc well. Having it go beyond “they’re helping him learn to like and trust humanity again, and displaying who he really is inside” ended up detracting from the power of his relationship with them in my mind.

Having played SOTN, I think an ingrained loneliness and sadness are, in a way, a key part of Alucard’s character. That sounds really sad and awful out loud but…there are some people that just have a sadness or a loneliness to them, and that's not entirely bad. Here’s the thing…it can make them that much more beautiful. The fact that they still fight for good, even when they see all the dark, those moments when they find true friends, despite how alone they are, those moments when they are happy, are so much more powerful. They just are always a bit…separate from other people. One of my favorite lines in anything is the line "We are connected by our darkness, not by our light" in Pandora Hearts. I think it's a line that fits Alucard well, and it’s always something that’s drawn me personally to him. Don't get me wrong, I don’t think Alucard’s all dark and sad and lonely, he’s definitely got a bright side to him too, of course he does. But I also don't think he ever is able to fully accept the vampire side of himself, and I find that interesting, and worth exploring. Personally I was honestly hoping for the show makers to come up with a bittersweet reason for why he went to sleep for 300 years, (and I thought that's why they set things up with Sumi and Taka that he’d have something against his vampire nature). Personally it felt like they were trying to say “oh he’s all better now, he’ll never be sad or lonely again” and while that’s nice I suppose…for me it sort of…stops feeling like Alucard, in a way? I don't know if I'm explaining it right, or if that sounds terrible...😅

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I do agree that’s very common of fandom that people are like “boom! Just add water! Instant father figure!” and I don’t love it either. Sometimes it can be cute if it truly fits, but it doesn’t fit every relationship between an adult-looking character and a kid character, and shouldn't be the first place people go to. In the same way every relationship doesn’t have to be romantic, not every relationship has to be parental/familial either. Sometimes it feels like fandom culture isn't really okay to have some characters just be good friends. A good friendship can be more wonderful than a romance sometimes.

If we have to put a label on it, I think he seemed like a nice older brother figure to them? I think that fits who he is in my mind. But father? Nope. Not for me. And again, I don’t think it needs a label.

Thanks again for sending me this ask!! It was nice to get the chance to work through some more of my feelings here too. Sorry if I went too overboard. And I hope I don’t sound too terribly negative, it really was a great season, and I definitely liked some parts of his arc, just not all of it.

If you or anyone else reading would like to discuss with me more, be my guest!! 💕

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lady-star-strings · 4 years

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About Dream’s Tweets...

To begin with, I’m demisexual and have been part of the community for years - I think I have pretty good credence to speak on this matter. I try not to throw my two cents into situations like this because I can’t stand the ignorant responses of the internet anymore at my age - DeviantArt Dark Ages vet right here - but sometimes I just have to. Whether you agree or not, I could honestly care less, but I would appreciate it if you read everything and gave it some thought before responding, be it positive or negative. With that said, let’s dive in...

At this point, if people are taking the shipping/fanservice jokes and banter between the Dream Team and other creators surrounding them seriously, I don't know what to tell them or really even say, honestly. They've all stated they're not looking to start relationships with each other - multiple times and on-stream/Twitter, might I add, because people keep donating and asking/demanding an answer to both that and about their sexualities - and that it's just messing around with friends. (If we want to talk about making people uncomfortable and being offensive in that regard, don’t you worry because I've got opinions on that too.) Bottom line is, you can't get mad at them for the fan-service now when you supported it before, especially when nothing has changed and they’ve been transparent about how everything actually is.

I understand that some may feel it’s an insensitive and inappropriate thing to do in some regards, and that's perfectly valid, but please don't go mobbing through the town with pitchforks over literal jokes between friends. Keep in mind, they’ve made it clear that’s all it was before people starting jumping down their throats, and still there are groups using their sexuality to attack them over it because "YoU'rE nOt MlM sO yOu CaN't MaKe ThOsE jOkEs, YoU'rE hOmOpHoBiC!!!!!" They're even openly attacking lesbians and bisexuals - whether they agree with them or not - because they're not gay and that somehow renders their words “invalid.” You can't accuse them of being ignorant for messing around as friends because it entertains the fans, and then turn around to attack literally the entire rest of the community for offering their opinions because they aren't valid enough for you in the argument to count - that makes you ignorant. You also can’t claim to be of the opinion that everyone’s sexuality is their own business, but then demand for them not to be ambiguous about it when it pleases you. Honestly, even thinking about people doing that is so incredibly hypocritical that it gives me whiplash.

I completely understand not everyone is a fan of this behavior, but to accuse them of queerbaiting, being homophobic and faking allyship over it all right now is just ridiculous and borderline disgusting to me. They've made it clear they're not romantically interested in one another countless times and that it's just fun between friends because they're super close - they aren't playing the "Am I, or am I not?" game with anyone for gain so no, they're not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when it’s not explicitly said at any point whether someone is or isn’t LGBTQIA+ so they can play both the community and conservative side by putting them in ambiguous situations that can lean one way or the other for gain, whether it be monetary or otherwise. Not to mention, if they were really as “homophobic” and “falsely allied” as everyone thinks, why would other LGBTQIA+ creators such as Antfrost, Eret, Scott Major, etc. not only support them, but also consider them friends? Again, I get the offense and hurt people might have taken from this behavior, but your opinions and feelings are ultimately not universal so while they are all valid, that doesn't make them right and the final say on the matter. I don’t mean this to say you’re wrong or inferior in the argument, just that you can’t demand others to see your point of view and abide by it without granting them the same respect. The road goes both ways kiddos, I’m sorry.

Side note, there's no one to blame but the fans themselves for the jokes and whatnot to have continued on this long because they not only supported it, but also actively encouraged it. It’s been taken so seriously that Dream has outright stated on a stream - and now on Twitter - that he and George aren't together and more than likely never will be because they're honest to goodness just really good friends screwing around. Now if you think you're uncomfortable as part of the community, how do you think they feel being accused every five minutes of being against it because they won’t openly state their sexuality? Not to mention, they can't ever talk about actual relationships or joke about other ships because people will literally send death threats to whoever the other party is because they're "rUiNiNg ThE sHiP" at this point - need I remind you of the Septiplier fiasco? It’s alright if it’s a persona or a personality, but for the love of all things holy, please stop treating people like Barbie dolls that you’re trying to make kiss. They gave us the go-ahead to ship them because it makes us happy and allows us to be creative with the concept - don’t ruin it by trying to force them to play the parts you’ve constructed in your head and then get pissy because they won’t.

Also, it is unbelievably messed up for you to donate money to ask their sexuality and/or for them to tell each other that they love them - which then basically makes it a demand because if they ignore it they get blasted for not responding and “taking their money.” For example, Dream will say he loves any of his friends without issue because he does - just not in the way everyone is assuming or wants - and that's just the type of person he is, but George doesn't like to express it that way and that's okay. He shows his love in other ways that we don't always need to know about or see to make it real, just as it is with anyone else in the world. I don’t know how so many people miss it, but when he gets a donation to tell Dream - or anyone for that matter - he loves him on stream, you can easily tell how uncomfortable it makes him - and yes Dream presses/teases him about it sometimes, but he still drops it and doesn't flame him for it for eternity. Those that donate and chat, on the other hand, will not let it go when he doesn’t say it and continue to pour donations in begging him to say it when he’s already made it clear he won’t. You honestly shouldn't be bribing them to say or do anything through donation because that's beyond messed up and manipulative, especially where these matters are concerned.

And even if they weren't straight - which used to be the case and may have changed by this time, we can’t determine such things nor should we try to - or were in a relationship with each other, it isn't any of your goddamn business to know - no way, no how. What they do offline and out of the public eye isn't anyone's business but their own and people need to respect that, not try to force it out of them or play detective to dox that information for the attention. I mean, if you want a good reason as to why Dream hasn't done a face reveal yet, this is absolutely number one on the list because there will be little to no form of privacy for him after he does and he isn't ready to lose that just yet. I certainly can’t blame him for that considering all that’s been happening to him and his friends as of late, and neither can multiple other creators who hold the same beliefs and fears - ie. CorpseHusband, H20Delirious, Ohmwrecker. No one should have to tip-toe on eggshells in their personal life because fans online don't understand boundaries, that's just cruel and unfair after providing the content and comfort that they do without asking anything but support in return.

At the end of the day, I truly just don't understand how people can join in and support the jokes that they've made clear are purely just messing around, but then turn around and crucify them for the exact same thing later down the road. How can you practically harass them about their sexuality and relationship status through providing monetary means, then go on a witch hunt because they’ve decided to be more private with that information in the present? You can't play both sides and then expect to somehow be right or justified in the situation whichever way the tide turns because, at that point, the only wrong one is you. I completely agree that they need to watch their step with what they say and do sometimes - just as everyone with a strong platform does - but only more so now because people will create a problem the second they do anything that could spin into them being horrible people with too much power.

They’re all still incredibly fresh and new to the realm of social media popularity all things considered, and they reached said popularity startlingly fast so it can’t be easy to adjust to all the attention on everything you say and do. With that said, they’re doing remarkably well so far and I have faith that they’re going to continue to learn and grow in this arena given the time. They might mess up and make mistakes - already have, in fact - but that’s part of the gig and you can’t always please or satisfy everyone, so the best you can do is acknowledge your faults and move forward. You can’t demand someone’s head on a pike when they’ve made an effort to right things and it wasn’t good enough for everyone, it’s just not a fair standard to hold anyone to. In that same vein, you also can’t demand whatever you want out of them with the excuse that they owe it to you as a fan - you’re not a fan in any way, shape or form when you play that card, and you need to either shape up or ship out if you're doing that.

If you don't support it and/or don't like it, just don't follow or watch them anymore, it’s truly as simple as that. You can't continue to watch and support them as a “fan” while also touting how ignorant and horrible they are as detractors, that's just not how it works - pick one or the other and stop attacking them and those that don’t agree with you. They’re only on year one of their careers and the amount of people trying to “cancel” and tear them down over things that really aren't issues already is ridiculous, you aren't the righteous keyboard warriors you think you are and it's things like this that are ruining the internet for everyone, not just you.

That’s all I have to say on the matter and will continue to say going forward - sorry if you came here looking for my usual nonsense, but I really felt this needed to be said and addressed. I usually try not to do these sort of rants, however, this is a serious matter and a discussion that we as a community have been needing to have for a while, so now’s as good a time as any.

So, with my peace being given and my two cents thoroughly tossed, why don’t we focus on the bigger issues with YouTube such as their blatant ignorance of pedophilia and copyright abuse? Those seem like a much bigger problems to address at this point in time since that effects creators and fans as a whole - both in the present and the future - don’t you think?

#don't sleep won't sleep #sleep is for the living #rants with mady #dream team #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #dreamnotfound #tldr #the hypocrisy is SCORCHING rn #there are no pedestals to me #been there done that with other creators #ain't no one special in my eyes #this is just an explanation of another viewpoint #all replies welcome #sorry not sorry kiddos #LGBTQIA+

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raevenlywrites · 3 years

Text

The Ties That Bind 19 of ???

I couldn’t sleep this night, and there was little point in trying. So I stayed among my people, hoping my presence would reassure them where my words might have failed. I had never been more grateful for my people’s habit of holding our emotions close; it kept my fury with my mother’s milquetoast words at a manageable distance.

She was better than this. I’d heard her give inspiring speeches all my life, words that inspired hope where it was waning, fervor where it was lost. I could only view tonight as an act of sabotage, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. What would she have to gain from undermining me, and the peace I was trying to build? Was it not what we all were working towards?

On the one hand, I wanted very much to speak with her, to demand an explanation. But on the other... well, I had sort of given up. From the moment the Disa suggested marriage, my mother had been shut down. There was more at work here than the surface negotiations of peace. My mother seemed deeply disturbed at the notion of my life deviating from her plan for it--and that was just too bad. It was my life, my reign, my people. Her ways and her mother’s ways and her mother’s mother’s ways had not led to any resolution. I was willing to try something new.

But I was never alone with my thoughts for too very long. It was rare for the Shardae to mingle nowdays outside of festivals and holy days, so many were eager for my attention. Many offered wishes for my continued good health, simple excuses to engage and be near. More than I wished expressed their condolences for our “wasted trip” out to the Mistari, which I politely redirected back towards the news of Irene’s expectancy. Those that topic did not turn away expressed interest in my singing in the birth, and did that mean that I would be returned to my work with the midwives, now that I would no longer be needed on the battlefields? It was an excellent question, and one I hadn’t considered, but found that my answer was an eager yes. It did much to buoy my spirits to think my family gifts returned to acts of growth rather than simply easing the pain of loss. Perhaps even my mother--

I didn’t care to think on my mother overly much this night.

So I stayed among my people until well after moonset, making note of those faces that stayed, those that seemed cautiously hopeful, and those who’s distrust and disdain I’d had to redirect. There weren’t many who lived directly in and around the Keep; I knew most by family name at least, from the Lyssia tailors to the jewelers who ran the Aurita, to the Silvermead blacksmiths and soldiers.

One I did know by first name, Jeanne Kejamarl, approached me much later in the evening. I remembered her from our shared school days, when I was still learning to shape my letters and reading only the simple sentences chalked on the board. The children of the Keep were all raised and educated together, because there were so few. So while I had little cause to interact with the Kejamarl tanneries directly, I knew Jeanne by name, though I wouldn’t call her a friend now, the way I did Elanor. Which I only considered because of how utterly forward her question was.

“Forgive my asking, Shardae, but why wasn’t Captain Andreios by your side this evening?”

I blinked, long and slow and foolish. My brain felt like thick mud, unwilling to allow my thoughts to rotate and pivot this conversation change with any speed.

“I know it’s not my place to question, but if you’re not going to announce him your alastair....”

Jeanne’s cheeks colored, and I realized with shock and horror the direction this conversation was headed, too late to head it off. She was interested in Rei, and I had dragged my feet so long that others were wondering if they might court him.

It wasn’t entirely uncommon for young adults to pursue one another. Yes, alastairs were often chosen for children in their infancy, but tragically all too often, those alastairs and pairbonds did not live to see adulthood. And while it was traditional for men to take the role of alastair--chivalrous protectors--it wasn’t unheard of for a would be pairbond to express her interest in being pursued. And Rei was handsome, and highly ranked, and courteous and thoughtful and dependable--

The thought of his lips against mine came surging back, filling my own cheeks with heat. Luckily, Jeanne misinterpreted my reaction for embarrassment at the topic--or maybe not so much a misinterpretation--and quickly backed off.

“I’m so sorry, m’lady, I shouldn’t have asked.” She ducked her head, chin all but tucked to her chest as she tried to make herself small. “It’s just after all the rumors of the Arami’s proposal, and with Rei’s absence--“

“He didn’t propose!”

I snapped a too rapid answer in a furious whisper, too caught up in my own snarl of emotions to keep my usual decorum.

“I don’t know who started that stupid rumor but I would really appreciate it if people stopped speculating about my private life!”

Jeanne looked up, horror warring with curiosity. It was utterly unlike me to be so emotional--and if she was a lover of gossip, this was too good to miss. I cursed inwardly and did my best to regain my composure.

“Jeanne, please. It has been an excruciatingly long day, week, all of it, and I am tired of my love life being the topic of so much discussion. It’s unseemly, don’t you think?”

“Yes, m’lady, of course. I shouldn’t--“ “No, you shouldn’t. And I would ask you please to keep others from discussing it as well? I have enough to deal with right now.” I sighed, hoping to use the show of emotion to my advantage. “I hope to start my own family under the light of peace, not in the shadow of my brother’s funeral.”

“Yes, m’lady. Gods above, yes of course. I’m so sorry.”

I reached out, laying the lightest touch on her arm. “Please. I don’t need your apologies, just your consideration. You knew me when I still couldn’t form my S’s front ways.” She smiled at the shared memory, and how ridiculous it was that I couldn’t write out “Shardae”. “Please give me the room to be just Danica where I can. There are so many places where that won’t be possible.”

“Of course, my--Danica.”

I smiled, trying to positively reinforce the behavior. My mother had become distant from our people, and by extension, me. So many of them had expressed a desire to see us out and among them again. If I could befriend my people again, help them see this shift as a positive one, become their darling, golden young queen, perhaps it could help me regain the power our family had lost to the generals. I could sell them an idealistic young family, a vision of the future that was shiny and bright.

Maybe, if I sold it hard enough, I might believe it myself.

“Rei is back with the serpiente, helping keep the Arami safe.” Jeanne’s eyes widen, and I nod, leaning closer as if in confidence. “There’s no one else I would trust with so high a priority. Here among my people, I could not possibly be safer. But I worry for Zane--as my mother said, this is an extremely brave thing for him to be doing. I hope my people will greet him with courtesy and dignity, but I am too pragmatic to trust his safety to anyone less than Rei.”

There. Maybe using his nickname twice will drive the point home. Of course, a part of me whispers that if I just declare my intentions on him here and now that would end all of it. I have no reason not to. Everyone assumes I’m as good as his pairbond. But for some reason I don’t--probably because I worry the story will grow in the telling, much like my “proposal” from Arami Zane. No, when I’m ready for word to spread, it will be through an official announcement, not from wildfire gossip from an old schoolmate. I release her arm and take a step back, letting some of my weariness show on my face.

“Now I think its time I take my leave. We all have a big day tomorrow. I should try to sleep while I can.”

I take another step back and melt into my golden hawk’s form, trusting whoever is on my most personal guard duty to peel off and follow as they always do. Only I don’t fly up to my balcony on the far side of the Keep. Instead, I turn my flight towards the east, and the waiting encampment of serpiente. - I am not so foolish as to have not considered this to be a potential invasion. I have let a score of serpiente warriors within an hour’s flight of the heart of my kingdom. But as I have said, more times than I care to, I refuse to behave as if Zane will betray me. It will either happen or it won’t. If a cobra is destined to slay a hawk again, then I have made peace with it being me. Our people began with one golden queen, if they are to end with simply one, then Fate will have her way no matter what we design. And honestly, they could do worse with a conquering monarch than Zane Cobriana. From what I have seen, he is fair, just, considerate, and generally in favor of art, self-expression, the well-being of his people--

I bank and circle back, realizing my mental wandering has allowed my wings to wander as well. I am too tired to think, but thinking is all I seem to be able to do. I want to see Rei, to wrap myself in the warmth and comfort of his arms to maybe try another few kisses, softer and gentler this time, to reassure myself that my life has not turned completely upside down. Instead I am circling around the encampment, having flown right over it while thinking of Zane Cobriana’s qualities as a king.

I realize as I circle in to land that partially my mistake was due to the sheer size of the gathering. I don’t know what my distracted mind must have made of the numerous campfires now dotting the fields, a small village perhaps, but it is certainly too many for the two score of soldiers or so that should be out here. This gathering is nearly twice that, centered around a ring of figures--

Dancing.

Zane and Adelina are dancing, with six other serpents besides. They weave in and out of each others’ steps, intricate rings within rings, scales flashing in every color of the rainbow.

Serpiente warriors can grow a scaled demi form, much like the large, angelic wings we avians sprout. While ours are used to give us an aerial advantage in battle, theirs provides a natural amrour that only the keenest arrow can pierce. And much like our wings can be used as an expression of beauty, an elegant backdrop to fine garments and jewelry, so are the serpiente before us using their scales now. Lines of color sparkle like living veins of gemstones, from the iridescent white of Adelina’s viper, to rich reds and greens of dancers I do not know, to the shimmering obsidian of Zane’s cobra.

They are a perfect complement to each other, his dark hair and scales reflecting red in the firelight, hers glinting gold like a low harvest moon. They sway and swirl, moving around each other and through their fellow dancers as if bound by an invisible chord. It is heartbreakingly beautiful, and I understand why every one of my subjects simply stands and stares. It is like nothing any of us have ever seen before, except maybe the soldiers.

I remember the ready pose Zane and Adelina fall into so easily, and thinking how perfectly it would transition to either dance or combat. I am mesmerized by the dance; I can only imagine how impossible they might seem to fight. I am struck with the sudden realizaiton that our survival til now seems nothing short of miraculous. Without the falcon’s am haj to allow us to fight with such lethality from the skies--

I want nothing more to do with this line of thought, so I land, picking a spot far enough away from the dancing serpents so as not to startle anyone. The avians in the crowd all know the silhouette of my hawk’s form, but it is late, and I am trying to be discrete. Still, several soldiers peel away, bowing swiftly as they make a report.

“No trouble yet, your majesty. As you suggested, the serpiente are well able to sense intent. None were allowed past the outer perimeter that were anything other than curious.” Curious. I should have thought of that. Raymond steps up at my side, and I realize he was one of the ravens flanking me. “Erica flew in during your mother’s speech, m’lady, with a message from Zane and Andreios. Neither one of them say any harm in letting a few come and see, but--well, I wished they’d said it was more than just a few. I never would have fielded such a decision for you if I’d thought--“

“It’s alright,” I say, holding up a hand. “If Zane allowed it, and Andreios cleared it, then I trust their judgement. I didn’t even think folks would venture out, so they’re steps ahead of me.” I gave Raymond a tired smile. “In all things security, I don’t mind letting Rei make decisions. It’s matters of battle and war I wish to be consulted on. Allowing a few--okay, more than a few--curious folk out to meet our guests...”

I trailed off, feeling sick at the idea of how poorly this could have gone. We were treading the most precarious line, and I’d barely thought any of it out. And Zane had simply come, trusting.

I should have worked something else out. I never should have asked him to come here--

“Dani.”

Rei was suddenly before me, undoubtedly alerted to my presence here. Too tired to care anymore who saw or what they thought, I let myself fall into his arms. This was all I’d been seeking. I hadn’t meant to stumble onto more trouble, more problems--I just wanted to be held, and get some sleep.

“Do you have a tent sent up?” I asked, trying at least to keep my voice between just the pair of us.

“For you? No, but we can--“

I shook my head. “Yours is fine. I’m exhausted, we’re in the field. There’s no where safer for my than by your side, right?”

Rei sighed, but I could see him caving in. “I mean, ostensibly you were safer back at the Keep, but yes.” He tucked his arm over my shoulder, with all the familiarity of an alastair in private. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”

The Ties That Bind Tag list: @thehellinsideyourhead @therecouldbecolorsandlove @adventuresofacreesty @writing-with-melon @rainydaydarling @faithfire

Raev’s Gen Tag List (should I tag you guys in this? It IS a thing I wrote. I’m gonna say yes unless you guys are like “no of course not we’re sick of hearing about your stupid fic for a twenty year old book XD)

No one has complained yet so yall gonna keep getting tagged :P

List is currently: @lordkingsmith @writinglyra @drbibliophile @mperialscribe @adie-dee @lexiklecksi @theramwrites @writinginslowmotion @raenawrites @apollon-arium @anika-writes @faithfire @thehellinsideyourhead @adventuresofacreesty

#raev does fic #hawksong fic #the ties that bind fic #hawksong #danica shardae #zane cobriana #the kiesha'ra #kiesha'ra fic #My writing

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refriedweeb · 4 years

Text

LET ME SANCTIFY YOUR BODY (SHINSOU + PLUS SIZED READER 18+)

A/N: refriedweeb here my little chickadees. Here’s another plus size reader one for all my beautiful thick babes out there. I’ve started hardcore sipping over everyone’s fave emo boy (who I always thought would prefer a thicker girl bc it just screams at you he would be) not responsible for any emotional trauma caused. ALSO, I used the same quirk from the Hawks’ series I have going on don’t judge me it’s honestly my favorite quirk I’ve thought up (and totally not bc I'm self-inserting) also if anyone draws y/n/me/yourself in this hero costume y/n chooses I'd die bc I think it’s so incredible

Prompt: Your hero agency has been pressuring you into a more scant, sexually appealing hero costume. Though you’re a hero, you’re still coming to accept your body and feel that the new costume they’ve put you in is anything but. Your boyfriend has other thoughts.

Tags/Warnings: body worship, oral, sex, spanking, shinsou being an absolute god

Word Count: 6,009

You stared at yourself in the reflection of the mirror in your bedroom. It’d been a long, exhausting past couple of weeks between you and the hero agency you worked for. They were insistent on changing up your hero costume, eager to add some sex appeal and tighter material around the assets that made you such a ‘feast’ as they called it. You were fuller figured, plump in spots that other female heroes weren’t. Your curves had caught the eye of the media surrounding the hero discourse, and you’d become something of a source of body positivity for the public. It wasn’t about your health, rather, but that strength and power came at any size, and a hero didn’t need to look like the heroes of the past in order to do good and be worthy of everything you had in your life. At first you’d been a little skeptical, sure that the other shoe was going to drop and you were going to be shunned for the tummy you had, the thickness of thighs that made you look ‘more beautiful than Venus being born’ according to one of the magazines that had commented on your body.

However, you hadn’t seen anything wrong with the hero costume you’d been rocking prior to the media’s public obsession with you. It hid the insecurities that you wished to conceal, like that very tummy so many people had started to praise. The dimples in your thighs that showed through in the latex and skin tight material that made up so much of hero costumes. Many designers of said hero costumes had been scrambling to get their designs to your hero agency, practically groveling for you to pick theirs. You’d left that day after your seemingly endless patrol (thankful that nothing out of the ordinary outside of small, petty crimes) had come to an end. But...that didn’t mean the work was over just yet. The agency you worked in had been persistent that you needed to pick a new costume by the end of the week, and it was already Thursday.

Your eyes moved from the mirror to the laid out costumes on the bed. The hero alias you went by was that of Nightmare. Your quirk was an Emitter quirk, and worked in a way that many people had been careful to get within your reach of. Once you activated your quirk, you could raise your target’s worst nightmare into a warped physical reality around them, or at least they perceived it to be a physical reality. What it really was, was a field of false reality with layers so thick it was hard to look through in order to see that it wasn’t real at all. A hallucination of the worst kind. You, much like your boyfriend Shinsou, had been people that your fellow classmates had thought would be best as villains, rather than heroes. People didn’t trust you, didn’t want to get to close to you lest you reach out a hand to their forehead and bring forth their own personal hell.

They wanted to make someone they had once demanded be too dangerous to be a trustworthy hero into a sex symbol. The fleeting thought caused you to snort, your eyes moving back over the costume layout once more. Shinsou hadn't popped around to yours yet, likely still finishing out his own patrol. His opinions might have helped, but you weren’t sure when he’d get to yours and you’d rather get the uncomfortable trial and error of why your body didn’t look right in any of the costumes that had been sent to you over with. That way you could curl up in bed under the sheets and wait for Shinsou’s warm embrace. It’d always managed to make you feel better when you were sure the world hated everything about you. That very reason had been one of the reasons you and Shinsou had bonded so quickly. The world was determined to make you a villain before you’d even had a chance to prove them otherwise. You were each other’s biggest support system, the team cheerleader while you raced to make the world a better place.

What would Nightmare wear? What would the unstoppable, dangerous Nightmare wear? The first costume was definitely not your speed, a deep plum color that was beautiful on its own. Yet, it was cut deep in the back with a half-peplum tiered skirt at the back of your waist. To you, it made you feel like a joke of a circus ring leader, feeling more like an overripe raspberry than a hero worth going toe to toe with. You didn’t have a body like Midnight or Mt. Lady. You were fuller all around, a pooch of a stomach that stuck out more than theirs, thighs that were thicker in muscle and fat then theirs. An ass, that as Shinsou had once said when he was drunk on sake, wouldn’t quit. Once again, you didn’t see anything wrong with the hero costume you had now. It was baggier, yes, allowing you to obscure a body you hadn’t fully come to terms with despite the years of progress you’d made with self-acceptance. Sure, the trench jacket did nothing to show off much of the body you’d worked hard to maintain and love, but it hadn’t been about how good you looked. It’d been about being able to do good and save people from villains. If you’d wanted to be judged for your looks, you would have signed up to be a model. But hero politics were the same politics that existed in every aspect of reality, and you had gotten used to it. It was really only a matter of time that you’d be up next in the line of speculation. The first costume was a hard no, and you peeled yourself out of it already feeling the sinking feeling of defeat as it crawled up into your spine.

The second costume was better in some aspects, worse in others. It was black in color which was much more your speed, with a black mask to match that shielded the top half of your face. Yet, over your bust and over the widest part of your hips ran horizontal white lines, giving the effect of making them appear wider than they were. It wasn’t as if they just ran the front of the costume, either. Traced around your back and your butt, you only felt that sinking feeling grow. You looked wrong, and felt worse. There was no way people actually thought this was going to look good on you, did they? An annoyed sigh passed through your nose, doing one last turn around in the mirror confirmed your thoughts. These people had no idea what would look good on you. The cynical part of you was sure that this was the other shoe dropping. This was some grand joke that you were the punch line of. If you picked any of these costumes you’d be ridiculed for your body just like you’d been when you were a kid. That mere thought sparked tears in your eyes, but you pushed them down. There was one costume left. Though you didn’t have much hope for it.

You were so in your negative thoughts at the moment as you stripped down from the second costume, you hadn’t heard the front door of your place open and close. Nor the sound of shoes being kicked off.

The third costume was by far the most aesthetically pleasing to your tastes. Like Goldilocks and the three bears, it’d been the one you thought would be best. It was a one piece jumpsuit as the rest had been, cut deep in the front and back, low plunges that exposed everything to your naval in the front, and the small curve of your lower back. Though where freshly exposed skin would have been free, black mesh was laid overtop to give the graft appearance. There were winding slits down the long sleeves of the costume, making the mesh look like ropes winding down the length of strong arms and deliciously thick thighs. The mesh at the lower back connected to the beginnings of the mesh at the back of your thighs, lining up with the mesh that curved down from your naval and over your hips to meet up with the front mesh of your thighs. The mesh of the costume was one continuous running line, and you had to admit you liked how it shaped your body. It was tight as the other costumes, and certainly left nothing to the imagination of anyone who’d see you. If you picked this costume, everyone would know what it was you were working with. And that was what they wanted, right? The final costume was by far your favorite, opening and closing the fingerless gloves that had come with it. But were you okay with the world seeing the rest of your body? You didn’t think you were ugly by any means, and hadn’t felt ugly since you were a teenager. But...that didn’t mean the world wouldn’t take that chance to pick you apart if they thought you’d gotten too confident.

You leaned up on your toes, angling to this way and that so you could get a full view of how you’d be seen from all angles. Your hand rolled over the little pooch of your belly, over the curve of your backside into that meshed lower back of the costume. The way your thighs blossomed against the costume, looking strong as hell. In the platformed boots you wore to do hero work, it’d look good. You thought. But was it too risky? Would you look like a joke? Your shoulders sagged in defeat, not sure you had the confidence to pull this off like the world seemed to think you did.

“Well, well...” came that deep drawl of the man you cared so deeply for. You jumped, completely unaware that for the last five minutes you’d been examining yourself in the mirror, that Shinsou had been eyeing you up from his position. Leaned against the frame of the door, hands tucked into his pockets with a shameless look on his face. “These those new hero costumes you were talking about?”

Once you were sure you wouldn’t about faint from the racing of your heart, you nodded. “Yeah, they weren’t that great,” you said and jutted your chin to the ones you’d hung back up on their hangers to be sent back. “Those were the first two options, and they looked...gross on me.” you said, voice dropping as the negative term against yourself left your throat. Shinsou angled a brow upwards question, violet eyes moving over to look at them. He doubted that they looked bad on you, almost disappointed he hadn’t gotten to see your skin slip under that tight material, the way it ran so flush over that body of yours he’d worshipped for so long. For all Shinsou cared, you could be running around in a trash bag and he’d find a way to think you were the most beautiful person in the world. But, one thought he shared in common with you on the first two hero costumes, was that they didn’t speak Nightmare. Your quirk was exceptional, like his in a way. It needed something as equally daring, as enticing as you were.

“I doubt that...” Shinsou strolled over to look at them, running the fabric of the raspberry suit between thumb and forefinger. “But they’re not you. They’re too tame for you.” the comment was innocent enough, but your mouth dried up at it. Sunken eyes moved over to look at you once more in that black suit number, one that he found himself to be a growing fan of. “What about that one?” His expression was hungry as he dragged his gaze up and down your body, over the curves showed off so freely.

Shinsou had never had an issue with your body. Rather, he preferred a partner that was on the thicker side to begin with. He liked being able to feel you in his hands without worry about hurting you too much. Your skin was a comfort to him, the way you were soft and plush drove him up a fucking wall. He might not have been the biggest fan of public affection, but when it was just the two of you he couldn’t keep his greedy hands off you. And how could he? Even in that moment, his fingers twitched with the carnal need to have your flesh under the pads of his fingers.

“It’s definitely the best of the bunch.” You shrugged, hand running down the shape of your belly once more, your mind still stuck on whether or not it was going to get you ridiculed. “I just don’t...I think it’s too much. I don’t think...” you trailed off. “I don’t know if I look good in it.”

The sound of a snort from behind you had you meeting Shinsou’s gaze through the mirror. He wore an incredulous expression as if you’d just claimed that there was no such thing as gravity. He shook his head and approached you slowly. “You’re kidding, right?” Shinsou stood behind you, his chin resting on the top of your head. His body was pressed flush against yours, and you could feel the half-hard length of him pressed against your backside. “You don’t think you look amazing in this, (Y/N)?”

A blush hit your cheeks as his hands rested on your shoulders. “It’s not that, Shi. I just don’t...I guess...I don’t think people will want to see me like this. So...exposed.” Being sexy wasn’t the problem here. It was how others would see you and if they’d take the same thought away that the agency had, that Shinsou had, that some of the media had about you. You could take being ridiculed for your ability to act as an hero, if you messed up on the job or anything like that. Those criticisms pertained to your ability to help and change the world, and nothing to do with your physical appearance. Changing your hero costume would open up that path to criticisms about your appearance that had never been there before.

“Ah...so that’s it.” Without having to say much, Shinsou understood where your mindset was. He sighed, feeling somewhat guilty. Had he not shown you how beautiful you were each time he settled his mouth or his cock between your thighs? Had he not told you how you were the only person who was ever going to have his eye whether you were dolled up in a face full of makeup or drooling while you slept? The last thing he wanted for you to feel about yourself was inadequate because of how much you weighed or what your body looked like. He knew it wasn’t for him to decide, that only you could determine your self-worth, but you were perfect for him. And if he was selfless enough to let the world see you how he saw you, he would in a heartbeat. But just because he wanted the world to see it, didn’t mean he was a fan of sharing. Timidly, you met his indigo gaze through the mirror’s reflection. “Here’s what I think, kitten.”

A chill ran down your spine as his fingers started to ghost over your shoulders. “I think...” He slowed his movements, tracing the seam where mesh met spandex, Shinsou’s eyes narrowed as they followed where his fingers met. They ended at the inner point of the V that formed the front of a potentially new costume. Goosebumps erupted over your skin wherever his fingers trailed, and all you could do was watch in the mirror as his head came to rest on your shoulder, doing the same. “This looks downright sinful...” his fingers moved back up the V of the spandex material, only to pause as his fingers cupped the fullness of your breasts, thumbs whispering over piqued nipples. He hovered there for a moment, tracing circles around them as you shivered against the well defined muscle of his chest. “Not a thing left to the imagination...” Shinsou murmured, taking as his hands swept over the top of your chest to your shoulders, slowly down your arms. The winding tightness between your thighs had started, and he’d only been gentle with you so far. His thumbs moved along your inner forearm, traced circles along the sensitive part of your inner wrist before they flowed back up the length of your arms, returning to your breasts where he pulled and teased once more. “You’re telling me I might have to share this with the public...”

Shinsou’s eyes, a beautiful shade of setting sun, were narrowed as his hands traveled down the mesh material of your stomach once more. His fingers spread as he traced your belly, fingers bent just slightly so you felt the drag of his fingertips through the material of the suit. It was just a prototype, after all. The real work effectiveness of the suit would be put in place if you agreed to have it. At the sensation of his nails scratching along your stomach, your thighs turned inwards, backside pressing in against a growing erection. It only caused Shinsou to smile that smarmy smirk that had caught your attention all those years ago at UA. “You’re telling me everyone’s going to get to see this goddess body I get to claim night after night...” Shinsou continued, pulling the soft pudge of your skin in his hands as he raked them to the side to grip your hips. Those fucking hips. His fingers dug in sharper there, knowing your skin could handle it. So full, so fucking lush. “Hell, kitty, you might just raise the crime rate because everyone wants to see you in this costume...” He released his iron grip on your hips, hands sweeping towards your backside to grab at the bountiful ass you had. How it drove him up a fucking wall to see how it bounced against his hips when he took you from behind. “You have no idea...” Shinsou paused to pull up the legs of his pants before he squatted down to his knees, his hands still on your ass.

“How fucking good you look in this...” You were speechless as he continued to knead at your ass, giving that plump backside of yours a soft slap that sounded through the room. He worshipped your body day in and day out, and had simply no problem letting you know how much he loved every square inch of it. Shinsou let out a low hum. His hands continued their march, coming to cup the lower part of your ass in his hands. He was greedy when it came to this, the best fucking handful and then some any god could have given him. “Your ass looks so fucking good...” he whispered, side of his face nuzzled up against the curve of your thigh. One hand slipped from the grip it has on your backside, slipping between your thighs. An idle thumb swept through your lips, so thick and full that when he ate you out he simply rested his head there. A sharp gasp escaped you, rolling into the touch that ended before it’d even begin. This didn’t go unnoticed by Shinsou, that devilish smile there once more. “And these fucking thighs...” he whispered, his second hand repeated that sinful sweeping motion between your legs, his hands gripping your inner thighs, slowing pulling them apart. All the while, you watched through the mirror, his eyes zeroed in on the puffy mound of your pussy that seemed particularly swollen in that jumpsuit. “These fucking thighs that I love to have wrapped around my head...” Shinsou turned in so his nose was pressed against your left thigh, his teeth soon enough caught the material of the jumpsuit between them and pulled it back from your supple skin. A moment later, a sharp snap hit the air as it slapped back against your skin, causing you to squirm. “You’re telling me the world is gonna know how fucking delicious these thighs are...”

He wasn’t the jealous sort, Shinsou. He knew that you wouldn’t be with him if you didn’t want to be. That you came home to every night because you wanted to. In that sense he was secure in his relationship with you. But he wanted to make it astoundingly clear to you just how beautiful your body was, and how everyone else in the world who had their head screwed on tight enough was going to see it too. He was hungry to devour you in that suit right there, to fuck you and mark you so greedily so that the world would know his mark on you, but this wasn’t about him or his selfish wants. This was about making you feel like the strongest, sexiest, most powerful woman on the entire earth. And based off the heat he was feeling so close to his hands that gripped your thighs, his mission was working. He hummed, digging his fingers into your skin. “I could spend hours on your skin, kitten.” he murmured, his nose inching up the length of your thigh to where it curved, the crease of hip into thigh his goal. “Kissing it all over, tasting all of you...” you squirmed as Shinsou shifted on the ground slightly, so that he knelt in front of you. The sight of him looking up at you, sunken eyes dark with lust, made your waver on your knees. It was next to holy imagery, his legs spread wide, hands gripping your thighs for purchase as if he didn’t, he’d disappear entirely. “You gonna let me taste you, kitten?”

Shinsou didn’t wait for your answer, moving on his own agenda. He leaned forward into that sweet, tantalizing mound of yours. His nose burrowed in, hands moving up to grip your hips as he pulled you in against him. The flat of his tongue slipped over the clothed length of your cunt, warmth radiating against the sweetness of your pussy as he pulled your thighs apart for him. You moaned out his name, the action he took so simple but enough to threaten you over the cliff. Shinsou had only touched you, slow and measured at that, and this was the first he’d put a hand or tongue where you needed him most. The fabric that had been between your legs was in his mouth, Shinsou sucking on the fabric there to get as much of you in his mouth that had already escaped you while he’d been busy touching you. The fabric fell from his mouth when he was done, slapping against your heat and causing you to jolt forward. Your fingers found themselves wound through the thick tendrils of indigo hair, balancing as he smiled up at you with his head tipped to the side. The look was downright bastardly, and you tugged on his hair. “Don’t tease me,” you said, breathless.

“No teasing here, baby...” Shinsou breathed, pausing to blow hot air against your sex. “I want to make my girl feel good,” while he spoke, he stroked his middle and index finger up and down the slit of your cunt, pushing in slightly so the fabric dipped in your glaze. “I want to make you feel good about this fucking body I intend to destroy...” He sounded so bored as he played with your pussy that it only drove you crazier. You knew from the bulge in his pants that he was far from bored, but how nonchalant he could be while he was winding that coil of an orgasm tighter and tighter inside of you could have pushed you over the edge. “I want to take my time getting you there...”

You mewled, rocking against his fingers as they slipped back and forth, agonizingly slow in their rhythm. Shinsou had never been a fan of when you doubted yourself or your abilities, your worth and your beauty. This wasn’t exactly what he would have called a punishment, rather a reminder that there wasn’t a single part of you that he would want to change about you, and that you should have felt the same. He worshipped you, every second of every day. Frankly, in his eyes, there wasn’t enough hours in the day to give thanks to whatever deities were out there that created the fucking perfect version of yourself that was stood over him currently. “Sit on my face, kitten.” he drawled, eyes raking upwards over those delicious curves of your body, the thickness of your skin so plump, until he was looking into your eyes. “Let me taste you.”

With the way he’s looking at you, you know you don’t stand a chance of saying no. “Yes,” you rasped out, Shinsou’s hands soothing you as they smoothed up and down your thighs. You took a step back from him, Shinsou staying where he was, frozen as he watched you pull down the suit.

It was like a work of art, his cock hardening as you pulled the front of it down, exposing your mounds of flesh, nipples piqued and flushed from when he’d been teasing them earlier. As the black material folded over your arms, exposing soft skin he ached to get his hands on. Down over your midsection, exposing the little roll over your belly that had his mouth watering. “You look so fucking beautiful,” his voice had hollowed out, thick with need to have your thighs practically suffocating him. He watched the blush deepen on your cheeks, only serving to make him grow harder. His eyes snapped back as the skintight material rolled over your hips and his cock twitched. The way your skin pushed out, full and so fucking desirable from the spandex material sent him over the edge. And then there it was. That glistening pussy with the softest patch of hair extending up towards your naval, a landing strip you’d called it once. Shinsou couldn’t help himself as he reached up to his mouth and ran his index finger over the swell of his bottom lip. He could see how wet you were already from the teasing he’d put you through, how your glaze seeped onto the thighs you’d pushed together. He was motionless as you slowly rolled the jumpsuit the rest of the way, over the curve of thighs into calves, finally at those fucking ankles he rather enjoyed having up by his face when he drove into you like a man starved for your fluids.

“You look so fucking tasty, kitten.” he whispered, settled onto his back. Not once had his eyes left yours. “Let me have you, please.” The please and desperation in his voice caused you to squeeze your thighs together again, and he moaned. But you indulged him once he’d taken his shirt off, your eyes directly tracing the spattering of indigo chest hair that lead a thin trail to his naval, the patch at his waist thickening as it disappeared below his pants. Slowly, you lowered yourself until you were sat on his chest. The slickness that spread on his chest from your cunt caused Shinsou to moan as his hands wrapped around your thighs once more, spreading you so he was face to face with that precious cunt he called his. “Gonna make you feel real good, baby.” he said and pulled you forward so that your thighs were pressed in against either side of his head. When he spoke next, the breath he exhaled was right against your heat. “The world’s prettiest cunt, all mine...” Shinsou’s chuckle had you fisting your hands. “One thing I won’t share...”

And then he dived in, having dessert before he’d even had dinner. He’d been aching to get his mouth on your cunt since he’d seen that swollen mound of the hero suit you’d tried on. Now that he had it, he was going to ravage you until you were begging him to stop. His nose pressed in against your mouth, hands spreading your legs further as he lapped noisily against your wet pussy. You were so wet for him already, his tongue lapping up those juices only spurred you to drip more. He was always sloppy when he ate you out, simply because Shinsou wanted to have as much of you on him as possible. You tasted like honey, like a lazy Sunday morning, like the feeling of victory. He slurped and suckled, his teeth grazing over your clit as you found the rhythm of his tongue and started rocking against him. Soon enough the sounds that filled your bedroom were the wet, sloppy noises of Shinsou eating you out, and you whispering his name like a prayer as he suckled on your clit with feral need. His face was slick with your silk glaze, running down his chin and onto his neck, the floor underneath him. But frankly, he didn’t give a fuck. Your thighs had done what he’d hoped they would, squeezing and flexing against his head as he played with and teased your clit. Shinsou could hardly breathe, but if this was how he was supposed to go, he certainly didn’t mind.

He’d started to flick and circle, traced his tongue around your bundle of nerves faster, and you started to ride his face harder. It was a chase to your orgasm, and just before you reached that finish line, he stopped. A desperate whine escaped you, writhing in an attempt to get back on his tongue and finish out your eye. Except, Shinsou was hiking one leg over his shoulder so that you were off his chest entirely. You whined once more, your core throbbing at how wet his face was. “You taste like fucking heaven...” he groaned as he wiped his fingers over his face, coating his hand in all your silk. Then, he undid the button of his pants, the zipper. And as you adjusted yourself with legs spread, you saw the brilliant pink tip of his cock, dripping pre-cum as he sprung free. You whimpered, desperate to be full once more and to reach your orgasm. Shinsou eyed you up, taking the wetness of your slick from his face in his hand and pumping himself as he came to rest between your thighs once more.

“I want to cum,” you groaned as you reached out, fingers ghosting through the curls of the violet hair around the base of his cock. Shinsou pried your fingers away, returning it to where it’d been beside your head.

“I’m gonna let you, kitten.” he said, as he continued to coat himself in your silken drip. First, he wanted to take a mental picture of how fucking good you looked on the floor. Hair fanned out around your head, your cheeks flushed, eyes blown wide with lust. The rapid rise and fall of your chest, your divine breasts moving with each movement. On your back, you were subject to his mercy. The only plan Shinsou had was to make you cum, to make you realize how fucking incredible you were. “You feel good for me?” he asked as he pulled you close to him by the legs, leaning over so that he could hike them up over his shoulders.

You nodded, any of the previous doubts about your body and how you looked quieted as you watched Shinsou turn his head to the side and nip at your ankle. “You’re so fucking perfect. These fucking legs drive me wild every time, kitten.” You felt Shinsou pressed up against the entrance of your cunt, feeling him leak onto your slip. “I don’t ever want you to feel bad about yourself when you look so good.” He was slow as he pushed into you, feeling the stretch around his cock as you moaned out his name. “Your body is fucking perfect,” he said through gritted teeth as he propped himself up on his forearms, leaned in over you so that violet hair hung over your face. Once he started thrusting, he was slow, hitting deep against your walls.

“This tummy is so fucking beautiful,” he groaned as your walls clamped around him once he picked up pace. “Feels so fuckin-nngh,” he sputtered, your feet locked behind his neck. “So good to rest on.” His pace quickened again, purple shaded eyes dropping to your breasts as they bounced in time with his thrusts. “These fucking breasts,” he grunted. You whimpered as you felt that mounting wave of your high start to climb again. “So fucking hypnotizing to watch while I fuck you,” he hissed, your hands braced against his muscled biceps as his pace started to turn sloppy. Your nails dug in, and Shinsou tossed his head back as he hit the final turn.

When he looked back down at you, there was carnal need in his eyes. “These fucking lips,” he moaned, leaning down to capture your mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss that left behind traces of your cunt. “I can’t get enough, kitten...” His tongue ravaged the rows of your teeth, lapped against your tongue as he fought to taste every part of you could. You were at the climax of that wave mounted in your heat, and you moaned his name, the only indicator he needed of to hurry the fuck up. He started to fuck harder into you to the point where bruises were likely to blossom against where his skin slapped against yours. “That’s it, kitten, that’s it.” he cooed, listening to the mewls falling past your lips as you started to spill over, the wet sound of sex filling the room louder than it had been.

Shinsou leaned back just slightly and returned his hand to your clit, the final push you needed as he paid it loving attention. You came undone around his cock and thumb, the shuddering orgasm ripping through you as you cried out his name. Your legs spasmed, squeezing against once more as he followed after you moments later, spilling hot ribbons of cum inside you. He continued to thrust after he’d come, emptying whatever remains he had until he was empty and spent. Breathless, Shinsou flopped against your chest. His head rested against your breast, moving in time with your rapid breaths that mirrored his own. His thumbs traced loving circles over your hips, his cock soft inside you but Shinsou not wanting to leave you aching and empty of him just yet. “That’s my good girl,” he rasped, swallowing heavily.

Your hands raked through the thick wave of indigo hair, gentle as you combed through it. Words and thoughts were out of your functionality for a passage of time, but when you finally remembered how to do both, you asked a simple question. One that you really already knew the answer to, no longer abashed about how it hugged the curves of your body, just another indicator that you were human. After how much attention Shinsou had dedicated to your body, you almost felt silly for having felt insecure to begin with. “The black suit?”

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the breast opposite the one he was slumped on. Shinsou turned his head slightly so that he could look at you, admire all that you were. And what you were to him was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life making feel that good about herself, about her place in the world. However he had to do that, he would. It was only right because you had supported him through so much and had never asked for anything in return. You were the only person who had ever looked at him like he was normal, like he wasn’t some type of freak. And he’d done the same for you when you’d both attended UA. As far as he was concerned, the only forever he needed was right there, pressed up against his naked body. Shinsou’s grin was lopsided and he nodded. “The black one.”

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

All in the Family

Chapter 12: Quidditch

The office was so bare, that at first they thought they'd landed in an abandoned one. Yet the desk was filled with papers for markings, the curtains were well worn as if someone regularly pulled them back to view the Quidditch stadium beyond, and the chair was not the one from their time, but slightly modified into a more comfortable recliner. Still, there were no personal touches, and even those teachers who had no plans to stay longer than a year carried photos, or remnants of every human practice to somehow mark their space. No splash of color dominated, even the bedroom adjacent to the office held only standard bed sheets.

"We must be in Quirrell's office," Sirius decided. The feeling would never grow comfortable, but he was at least used to by now of shaking off the dizzying feeling of being somewhere he wasn't a second before so that he could step up to the desk and start rifling through drawers which were as bare as the walls, only filled with extra quills and ink.

"Bloke needs a personal decorator," Peter muttered, he'd never seen anything so bare bones, and he'd been to a DA teacher's office every year to know this wasn't common.

"What do you think happened here?" Frank asked as he stepped up to a corner of the room. There was an empty shelf that could have held any number of things from books to nicknacks, but it was as dusty as everything else. However, there was a small burn mark in the wall, with just the tips of a few feathers showing on the edge indicating it might once have been a bird implanted there, but now it was just a smoky, twisted shape like he'd tried to blast it off the wall instead.

Lupin stepped up beside him with a perplexed look as well, scratching his nail against this curiously. "I think it used to be an eagle," tracing his finger now across the lone visible feather, "maybe he used to be in Ravenclaw house?"

"Then why would he blast it off?" Franks brows only rose higher with such an odd form of an answer.

There was no explanation for this peculiar place, but that was the pattern of this whole journey so far. So Remus stepped up next to Sirius and plopped down in the seat, scooping up the book where it had landed first and reclining leisurely as he began the next part. He cheered with joy the moment he read the chapter title, and Sirius sat on the arm of the chair at once to lean in and see why. Remus automatically pushed his face away, but by the time he read it out to the others Sirius was already whooping with his own joy they were going to be reading about Harry's first Quidditch game, finally!

James was beside himself with joy at once, clutching Peter to him in ecstatic excitement before they even got to details, they were all aware of who the match was going to be against. Peter was being just as bad, squealing and wriggling around just as much, watching James carefully to make sure he'd stay upright even when he was released to start all but bouncing off the walls.

Alice watched them and couldn't help but laugh at the show, remembering the two times she'd actually sat near them in the stands during their younger years and knowing they could possibly get worse, so choosing to follow as Frank went into the adjacent room to find some lower level of noise.

Regulus just stood awkwardly at opposite ends of the room from Evans, admittedly more ecstatic for this but honestly still unsure of how much he should bother trying to interact with Sirius. His parents had been making it increasingly clear during his holiday visits Sirius may not even be around much longer if he didn't change up his act this summer, and no matter what crazy world they were flying through now, he should still honor his parents wishes and keep himself separate from the stain of his older brother. Just because his friends still managed to amuse him, and honestly he still couldn't help but look to what Sirius did and react the same way, didn't mean he was actually expected to hang around him.

Lily declined following Frank and Alice for once, but that just left her more uncomfortable than ever in this room full of boys who she couldn't claim to see eye to eye with about anything. They held no interest as Lupin went through the whole chapter leading up to the game, wasn't going to bother with any defense for what Sev did even if that was a rule he made up on the spot. The way they were reacting was even how she would have predicted, still making crude jokes at each other and reminiscing about all they'd done to Snape and wishing they could do more now while he continued to bully Harry.

Not that she even knew for a fact that's what this was. She more than anyone could understand why Sev was singling Harry out, not that she in any way approved of why he was for such petty revenge, but she wouldn't deny she could see in his eyes lashing out at someone who so reminded him of Potter just as much as her. She wished he'd be more of an adult about it, but there was just no point saying any of this to anyone present, it's not as if they'd understand.

Her fury at the situation only grew when Harry went on to accuse Severus of being after whatever that deranged dog was guarding. Honestly, one incident of an injury, an overheard conversation, and the kid just automatically blamed it on the person he didn't like. It was a miracle he wasn't adding Malfoy into the mix as an accomplice already, as if life didn't happen outside of teachers who yelled at him.

The build up to the game held no interest to her, it only set her teeth grinding back on edge and all she could do now was be grateful he didn't use any build up to blow off steam like the Potter in this room would. In fact she honesty couldn't admit to even listening to what happened up until the moment Harry mentioned his broom lurching beneath him. Something inside of her lurched as well.

She certainly didn't like Potter, but she'd never actually wished him irreparable harm, let alone death! That's what was going to happen when Harry fell though, so she looked on at Lupin stuttering through words in a panic, actually understood the look of fear on all of his friends, and met Potter's eyes with a dry mouth that honestly could have released a scream of fear any second.

"Evans!" James startled them all out of the vivid mental nightmare as he went to her side. She fell against the wall the moment that little Hermione girl claimed to have seen what was really going on, but remained just out of arm's reach of Potter when her focus snapped back to him still on a glare.

"It wasn't him," her voice crackled with force that would surely have stopped that bucking broom in place, it wasn't a wonder why James froze. "Severus isn't the one doing this."

Far from looking as if to check on her, the muscle going in his jaw made it clear he was holding himself back from doing something more than shouting now when his hand twitched for his wand. "Are you really so daft women? You can't look past, for one bleeding second of protecting and defending him against everything! What possible explanation do you have for this one?!"

"Why don't you try opening your mind for once Potter!" She snarled right back, off the wall in the same breath and glaring daggers at him, her hand in the same position. "Pull your fat head out of your arse and think! Or is that too difficult, with all the empty space up there?"

"Glory those two are the most self centered birks I've ever met," Frank muttered, staying happily on the other side of the door to mutter this to Alice. "Can't they have this row for the millionth time after they find out if the kid survived. I swear this went down last week about who it was causing the toilets to snap shut on people."

"Wasn't it Avery caught doing that yesterday?" Alice asked in surprise.

"Exactly," Frank finished with a snort.

"How long do you think they can keep going when neither really has the ability to walk away?" Alice asked in honest concern when the two just kept exchanging insults.

"You mean when Evans can't storm off," Frank corrected. "Ever seen Potter? I think he lives for this."

Alice huffed in disgust if this was really how he thought was the best way to keep her attention, and honestly just grew sick of it herself finally. She went back through the door, Frank following reluctantly, and right over to Lupin. Black was sitting on the arm of the chair and watching along with Pettigrew like a show, but the last Marauder was pretending nothing was even happening as he kept his eyes down on the passage, though clearly reading nothing as no words had been uttered since they'd started.

"You lot just planning on staying in here forever?" She demanded.

"That's an interesting question," Black looked to her and said conversationally. "Wonder if time's frozen forever, we'll never get old, never get hungry again, actually wait, that could get really boring."

"Whatever point you take from this," she said in exasperation.

He nodded and nudged Moony, muttering, "best go on then, you've studied in the common room with louder things going on."

Remus hesitated an extra moment before indeed choosing to ignore the pair and continuing. It certainly made the Marauders who were paying attention a new level of interest none had ever seen, setting a teacher on fire and all. That was something they'd never dare to do, and Hermione just became their new idol for that act alone, the reason that she was doing it just made her as solid a friend as Ron only made it all the better.

It was honestly sad to the three of them James took no glory in this, didn't even seem to mention it as he was still busy over there where apparently only he and Evans existed. He even missed Harry spitting up the Snitch in victory, and in fact only came back to realizing what was going on when Evans snapped her head in their direction upon Hagrid defending Snape.

"Finally, a sensible human being," she seethed, snapping away from him and storming into the room for any way to escape while still listening attentively now. Hagrid just became her new favorite person in this castle for finally seeing past singling out a person for this happening, something that childish idiot could never understand.

"Wait, what happened to Harry? Who won the game?" James asked with a ruffled brow, his eyes still on the door and for all the world still unaware when Peter answered he'd fill him in on the details.

"Fluffy?" Frank said into the awkward silence. "I can not for the life of me picture a three headed dog, fluffy."

"Thought you had more imagination than that love," Alice honestly giggled at her boyfriend's perplexed look.

"I'll take that scrap of information if the dog has pink fur on top of it all," Lupin said with honest interest, his eyes now alight as he kept going at finally getting more information no matter how unintentional Hagrid gave it.

"Why do I know that name, Flamel," Regulus muttered to himself, though he alone felt invested in this mystery. Everyone else still seemed far more involved with Harry, even Evans no matter how much she denied it. She certainly hadn't, in all her shouting, come up with any alternatives to who could be trying to kill the young Potter, unlike him, who was still chewing over all the information given as Lupin finished.

#Marauders #Harry Potter #fanfiction #Peter Pettigrew #Wolfstar #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Evans #Regulus Black #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith #reading the books

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shiftysdogtags · 4 years

Text

I Knew You

I based this off Taylor Swifts song ‘cardigan’. When i heard the song i immediately thought Joe Liebgott and i seen this story play out and i knew i had to write it. I’m not 100% happy with it and i know no one asked for it but here it is anyway.

Warnings: passing mentions of drinking and being drunk. Slight swearing. Also my terrible writting✌🏻

If you listen closely you can hear my heart breaking in the distance. And a big thank you to @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant for the teddy bear idea and the title.

Taglist: @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @floydtab

Headcanons and ships for the pacific and band of brothers are open

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I knew you

Dancin’ in your Levi’s

Drunk under a streetlight

Joe didn’t let many people get too close to him. Very few people knew the real him, they just seen the person he wanted them to see. He was soft and delicate. Not delicate like a flower, delicate like a grenade with the pin removed. One wrong move and he could blow up. It was because of this people avoided him. He was blunt and rough around the edges. Maybe he was standoffish too, but he was my Joe and nobody knew him better than i did.

“Joe, get off the street” i tried pulling him onto the path.

I would love for Joe to show people this side of him, slightly drunk and giddy. He was swinging from a street lamp and dodging cars that tried to beep him out of the way. Although i tried to be serious, the more he swung around the dizzier he became, making me laugh. All i had to do was pull him twenty feet to the right and he would be inside my house and safe.

Joe stumbled in my direction and pulled on my hand “Dance with me, Doll”

No matter how much i objected and stated that i had two left feet he persisted. It wasn’t dancing exactly but the way he held my hand gave me butterflies. The sound of his laugh when he threw his head back was enough to put me in a trance and i swore if that was the last sound i ever heard it wouldn’t ask for anything more.

Joe made me feel careless and brave. With him my by side i was afraid of nothing, as if i could do anything i dreamed of. I found fearlessness somewhere in side of me and it was all thanks to him.

It wasn’t until he spun me i realised i was also tipsy. Slightly light headed, he pulled me to his chest with a kiss to my temple. A car stopped, catching us in the headlights and i decided it was time to go inside. Trying to pull Joe towards the house again he stumbled over his feet but, i somehow managed to get him to the spare room and into bed.

He was almost half asleep and i pressed my lips to his forehead. “Night, Joey”

I knew you

Playing hide-and-seek and

Giving me your weekends

Joe and i kept each other a secret. Although people knew we were friends, they didn’t know the true or full extend of our relationship. Relationship, if it could even be classified as that. On a normal day we would be polite and only acknowledge each other if really needed. Our days off were spent together doing anything and everything. I learned about Joe and who he really was by just sitting around and listening.

“Do you think stuffed bears have feelings?“ he asked me, lying on the sitting room floor counting the cracks in the ceiling. He had one arm under his head and the other was holding a bear i found in my mothers attic amongst my old childhood toys.

Of course i laughed and i though how out of character it was for Joe to ask something like that. We were hidden from view, the curtains were closed and no one could ruin the time we got to be alone together. The Joe i knew was softer and more vulnerable than he would like to admit. Opening the curtains would be like him confessing the fragility of his emotions and letting people into his life. They would be kept closed and the world would be none the wiser of his feelings or his closeness to me in that moment.

Watching him investigating the bear i realised how few people saw this side of Joe. I loved being one of the only few, if not the only person, he acted like this with. He pulled on a loose thread and a hole formed. He looked wide eyed at me with an apologetic face. It wasn’t until he heard my laugh did he join in too. With anyone else he would have brushed it off but he was afraid to hurt me.

“I think you hurt his feelings” i said nodding to the bear. He laughed louder and threw the bear at me.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars

Was all we needed

Joe used to drive around for hours with me in the passenger seat changing the radio. He would pick me up after work in the diner downtown. After a long day he would tell me i needed to loosen up and go on an adventure with him.

“Come on Y/N, have a little fun once in a while” he said with a little smirk and that was all that was needed to convince me. That smirk on his face made me feel like i was selling my soul to the Devil.

With no destination in mind we normally ended up parking the car beside the bay. When we were together we didn’t need material things or to be doing anything specifically, all we needed was each other. All of our major firsts happened here. The first time we kissed was eating ice cream a few months after Joe got back from Europe. The first time he mentioned the war and what he experienced happened at the bay.

It was here on a chilly Autumn night i realised i was in love with Joe. We sat on the car bonnet sharing a blanket as we watched the car headlights dance across the bridge. He was warmer than me, always had been. With my head on his shoulder and his lips in my hair i hoped he felt the same way.

There was never supposed to be anything romantic about our rendezvous, but i couldn’t help but hope. The bay had seen the same amount of kisses shared between us as cars that crossed the bridge.

I knew you

Tried to change the ending

Peter losing Wendy

I knew nothing good would come of this. The ending was clear before anything had even begun. The second i met him everything played out like a dream in front of me. Heartbreak was the only possible outcome and vivid hallucinations danced in front of me, almost real enough to touch. But when i reached out my hand they were gone just as fast as they came, disappeared in a cloud of smoke

“We’re just friends and you know it” Joe stated, cigarette hanging from his lips

“Thats bullshit, Joe.”

My emotions got the better of me and ignoring the warning signs, i let them. Despite all this i had hoped, really hoped that i could somehow change it. Joe was Joe and he did what he wanted when he wanted. I knew i was delusional to believe i had the power to change anything, let alone a strong willed person like Joe. He refused to grow up, constantly acting childish and never committing to anything for a significant amount of time. People around him were play things that he singled out to suit his specific needs. He dropped them like toys and picked them back up again when he was bored.

“Can you honestly sit there and tell me there are no feelings between us?” I begged him for an answer. “Do you feel anything for me? Anything at all?”

No answer was given, just a simple shrug of his shoulders. If my heart wasn’t broken before it certainly was then. He couldn’t look at me, focusing his eyes over the steering wheel and watching the rain fall against the windscreen.

“I can’t do this anymore” Getting out of his car i slammed the door closed and ran across the street into my house. Even though the distance was short i was soaked and my clothes felt heavy on my skin as did Joe’s words, or lack of words, did on my heart.

That boy had me wrapped around his little finger. Like a puppet on a string, Joe pulled me left and right. He had me where he wanted me. Believing that having something more than a fling with Joe was a fantasy. Being with him was like playing make believe. He makes my head spin and his voice fogs my judgement. It was time to come back to reality. It was time for me to grow up, with or without him. I wanted to forget him.

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

‘Cause I knew everything when I was young

It was while making coffee the next morning i realised tying to forget someone like Joe is near damn impossible. Every detail about about him lingers in my mind, his name constantly on the tip of my tongue. The shape of his lips are imprinted onto mine and i will never forget how they felt. The spark when his deep brown eyes met mine is always embedded deep in my heart where no one else can reach. His touch is eternally burned onto my skin, forever part of me. I knew i would never really be able to untangle Joe from my life. It was hard to know where he ended and i began.

The coffee machine was done and i took my favourite mug from it’s place in the press. Of course it was positioned next to the mug Joe usually used. I noticed the coffee stains on the edges. I’m sure if i looked closely enough i would see transcripts of all the late night conversations shared between us. They were never really serious, only ridiculous ‘what if’ scenarios, but it made me wonder. What if i never met Joe? What if he never smiled at me the way he did? What if we never had that fight? How many washes would it take to get the smell of him and his smokes out of my clothes?

Everything blended into one and i couldn’t remember a time in my life when Joe wasn’t part of it. It was impossible to know what parts of my life actually belonged to me and not him. Pictures float in front of me, reminding me of our time together. No matter how hard i tried to forget, each memory will be forever burned into my heart.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line

No matter where i went a memory of Joe played like a movie in front of me. It was like an outer body experience, as if i was watching from afar. Shadows danced in the store aisle, distracting me. I only noticed the cashier was ready for me when the man behind me cleared his throat. Apologising, i quickly placed my few items and thanked the girl quickly leaving the store.

When i reached my car i realised all my thoughts were consumed with Joe. He haunted my memories and my past. Flashbacks came daily in the most random of places. Every inch of our home town crawled with the sound of his voice and each street screamed him name tauntingly at me.

Starting the car, i made my way home while desperately trying to avoid any streets where i shared moments with Joe. It was impossible. Every street contained a different story and a different memory. The streetlight outside my house is the one i danced with Joe under. He was everywhere and unavoidable.

He ruined me in all the best ways. Joe stripped me back to the basics and built me up again in ways i can’t describe. Before Joe life was boring and grey. Now, it is full of colour and new sounds i wouldn’t have experienced without him. He turned everything i knew upside down. The vitality in everything we did together will always be etched into me. It has made me a different person and for that i can’t be anything but thankful towards him.

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired

And you’d be standin’ in my front porch light

I missed him, more than anything. Two months later i still missed him and I have never felt so alone. Even when Joe left to join the paratroopers i never felt this lonely. Somehow the thought of having him in the same town but not as my friend was worse than him never coming home. That was such a terrible thought but it’s how i felt.

The thunderstorm outside reminded me of the night i fought with Joe. The rain beating against the window made it feel less lonely. It created a sound displacing the constant silence that surrounded the house now Joe wasn’t around. Picking up the stuffed bear he once made fun of i smiled before i threw it across the room. He was everywhere.

I almost missed the banging noise against the front door. Cautiously walking to the window to see who it was because who in their right mind would be out in weather like that. The last thing i expected to see was Joe standing on my front porch knocking at my door. I deliberated for a moment whether to let him in. Could i leave him outside and hope he would leave, or should i let him in and wreck the little progress i have made in forgetting him?

I chose the latter, grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch. After opening the door he stood there not saying a word. He didn’t come in straight away and i watched the raindrops fall from his face in the light. He looked exhausted like he hadn’t slept in days. I handed him the blanket and he followed me in placing it around his shoulders.

He said nothing, he just smirked. “Hey Doll”

And I knew you’d come back to me

#band of brothers x reader #joe liebgott x reader #band of brothers imagine #joe liebgott imagine #bob imagine #bob x reader #band of brothers imagines #Joe Liebgott imagines #joseph liebgott imagine #joe liebgott #Spotify

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whirlybirbs · 4 years

Text

; --- SHATTERED HILT / 01

summary: ru’kali survives order 66. cal kestis does, too. while cal spends his days on bracca, stripping starships for parts, ru spends her days earning her protection from the empire in the fighting pits on ordo eris; both do what it takes to survive. but, when a wayward quest and a plethora of owed debts lead cal kestis straight back to his fellow padawan -- a once shy girl turned raging fire -- the pit fighter is left with a choice: leave, or spend the rest of her life a pawn in a game much bigger than her. pairing: cal kestis / original female character, ru’kali lof word count: 2k a/n: i cannot remember the last time i wrote something that wasn’t a reader-insert, and i’m not sure how this will do -- feedback is genuinely appreciated on this, since i know i’m mostly a reader writer! everyone loved ru from her intro to my clone trooper squad, which you can read here!

Ru’kali Lof startles awake to the sound of three loud, rough bangs on the door to her quarters.

She wonders bitterly, as she blinks up at the ceiling, if she can just ignore the sound. With any luck, they’ll leave her alone and Ru can go back to bed --

Then, the knocks come again. Louder and faster.

“Rise ‘n’ shine, sweetheart!”

Ru snarls.

Beneath the durasteel door, she can see the long shadow of someone shifting back and forth in their boots -- immediately, the Mirialan, as she stands and throws herself to the door, knows it’s Atticus. The sheer bombastic chaos that follows the bounty hunter swims through the force to greet her before she even opens the door.

When she does, he’s got an arm on the doorframe and he’s leering.

Atticus Rex isn’t much to look at, nor is he kind nor smart, but he’s muscle -- his head is shaved in a tight buzz, littered with scars, and his muzzled grin is picked clean with a toothpick that hangs from his lips.

He smells like day-old ale and sweat.

“Where y’ been, Ru?”

It leaks out of him like a jab. She has to restrain the snarl that threatens to leap across her face. Her attitude is sharp and wants to go straight for the Haxion Brood Lieutenant’s throat.

“Asleep,” she bites, crossing her arms and cocking a hip as she goes to hit the switch and shut the door, “Do you mind?”

Atticus snorts, hand planted on the frame and forcing the door to stay open.

Ru leans back, peering into her room, to eye the chronometer hanging on the wall. The digits read 1038 -- it’s late, and she’d finally fallen asleep after she’d managed to quiet down the usual roaring river in her mind. Not an easy task.

"Get dressed,” the Bounty Hunter chirps, “S’ fight night, sunshine.”

Fight nights were common.

But, fight nights were Ru fought? Those were rare -- and though she’s sure Sorc Tormo would put her in the ring every night if he could, she’s also aware that to the Umbaran crime-lord she’s an asset. A big asset. A big, money-making asset that draws a big crowd and big bets.

Huge bets.

(The exact kind of bets that got Greez Dritus into this mess in the first place, and by proxy his new-found friend.)

Ordo Eris, on fight nights, becomes more like a city than the cold, lonely, terrible astroid colony it really is. The space station fills with scoundrels and thugs from all across the galaxy who traverse the rocky space around the arena’s hub to get a spot around the ring -- Ru eyes the growing crowd, nearly every attendee with credits in hand, as the lift carries her upwards to the top level of the arena’s loge.

Beside her Atticus flicks the smoldering bud of his deathstick down the shaft.

Speaking of Sorc Tormo, the sleaze ball greets Ru’kali with wide open arms and a devious grin.

“Ah! My prized warrior princess!”

Ru cross her arms and swaggers forward -- the small rope of lucky beads tied to her sash tinkers as she does, knocking against the chromium smelted hilt of one of her two sabers. One is hers from when she was a Padawan. The other is a recent build and it’s temperamental. Using a stolen, mined kyber crystal is to blame, no doubt.

Master Yoda was right -- the crystals are supposed to pick the Jedi.

Atticus meanders along behind you. Skulking as per usual.

Ru looks out past the arena to the screens bolted up along the pit. Pale blue eyes narrow tightly, the deep scar over her right eye warping slightly as she does. The broadcast is in the lower levels. Some idiot running around on the walls. Plugging wires in.

A show, for sure.

Ru raise a brow.

“What’s all this about?” she asks, turning to eye Sorc Tormo.

The Umbaran man is eccentric, to say the least. His facial hair runs right down his chin in one fine line, green in color. That same green, punchy and vomit-reminiscent, echoes in his Canto Bight-esque outfit. Large, pompous sleeves and pants that are three sizes too tight. All green.

He looks like seventy kliks of bad road, honestly.

Hell, everyone on Ordo Eris does.

Ru’kali is no exception -- she’s rougher than she was when she first arrived here. Littered in scars and bitter. The years of pit fighting have settled in her stance and though she’s athletic, she’s a rogue brawler with enough crackling, dangerous rage to power an entire Star Destroyer.

Fighting takes the edge off. Makes her feel less afraid.

“Well,” the lone, pale fingers of the Umbaran curl around Ru’kali’s pale pink shoulders, nails drumming against the diamond shaped markings there, “I am glad you asked, my dear. We have a special contender for you --”

“Cut to the chase, Tormo.”

The egg shaped head of the Umbaran rolls as he steps away, waving off Ru’s evident irritation; the crime-lord gestures to the screen. “He’s friends with someone who owes me a lotta money. He was carrying this around --”

His fingers snap twice.

“Atticus --”

Ru’kali was not expecting Atticus Rex to procure, from the back of his belt, a lightsaber.

And she certainly wasn’t expecting him to hand it to Tormo and for the Umbaran to ignite it, presenting a glimmering yellow blade.

The Mirialan’s face falls -- anger bubbles up there, warping the navy tattooed features of her face as she steps forward and yanks the hilt from the hands of the crime-lord.

Her lips twitches.

“What?” she sneers vengefully, “Did he pull this from a corpse, then?”

She has seen another Jedi’s saber three times now in this station. Once on the belt of a traveler who’d laughed in her face and waved the blue thing around, proudly proclaiming they’d bought it off clone trooper for drinking money. The second time, on a bounty hunter -- he’d murdered a Jedi Knight for Imperial credits, kept the blade though. The third, was now.

Ru could only assume the weapon to be another stolen relic, a ground-in-the-dirt memory of her life before Ordo Eris. This contender probably had no idea how to use it, let alone the life this saber had before now.

A laxidasical wave. “Maybe. Don’t care. But! My sweet, sweet, Jedi -- I want you to kill him. Seeing two saber swordsmen dueling... Goodness, me oh my, that will certainly bring in the money, won’t it, Atticus?”

“Sure will.”

And it does.

Cal Kestis is having a pretty shit day.

Not that he’d ever say so -- no, because, sure, it might be terrible and he might be navigating some wild underground dungeon maze, but Cal has BD-1 back on his shoulder and that’s all that matters.

He’s got a mission, he’s got BD-1, and despite being a little sore, he’s good. All good. Everything’s good. Totally good.

As he rides the lift to the upper levels of this... place... Cal wonders if he’s gonna eat that sentiment.

The first thing he hears is the chants -- raucous roars of a large crowd. Before him lays a large square space, illuminated by stark spotlights and swarmed with drone droids, each with blinking red lights on their helms to show their recording status.

It becomes abundantly clear to Cal that he’s suddenly in the spotlight. And, that the itching feeling that he was being watched was correct.

The redheaded Jedi steps out from under the bay, suddenly exposed to the bright light of the arena.

Around him on the upper decks are hundreds of people, all clamoring to get a view of him -- the large screens on the sides of the loge show him squinting, raising a hand and grimacing into the light.

BD-1 gives a worried boowoop.

“I got a bad feeling about this too, lil’ buddy.”

Suddenly, a holo-projection fizzles in before Cal -- large and tall and to the excitement of the crowd. The man’s appearance is met with a rise in cheers, rolling off the voices of the spectators with thirst for action.

Sorc Tormo laughs.

“Ah, finally he arrives!”

The projection waves wildly, spinning about, and Cal watches carefully as this eccentric ego-maniac waves his hand with a grandiose flourishes as he speaks.

“We had action on how long it would take for you to get here!”

Yeah, well, BD-1 was kinda his priority.

Irritation bites at Cal’s features. The Jedi scowls. His stance is tense.

“And who are you?” Cal calls out, voice rising over the roar of the crowd.

“Ha ha ha! Who am I? I’m Sorc Tormo, baby! I’m the boss of this operation!”

The crowd goes wild at that, whoops and hollers serenading the arena to the tune of the crimelord’s name. A television drone swoops close to Cal’s head and the Jedi side-steps it with a disgusted look on his face.

“Right,” Cal snarks, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“Maybe not you, but to your friend Greezy Four-arms it does! You’ve got him to thank for gettin’ you into this pickle!”

Of course.

Cere had made a comment off-hand about the pilot’s penchant for gambling -- not that Cal was any stranger to the concept. Back on Bracca, Prauf had muscled Cal into tagging along to a few card games here and there. And though the redhead never partook in wagering his entire week’s pay on precious metals, Prauf had once or twice. On those nights that Prauf lost -- because he always lost -- there was nothing that could lift the Abednedo’s mood.

Not even a signature Cal Kestis smile 'n’ pat on the back.

Cal could use one of those right about now.

“Yeah, well, once I’m finished with you, I will thank Greez,” it comes out just as cocky as it feels -- and maybe Cal shouldn’t had tried the attitude.

Either way, when this Sorc Tormo guy laughs and waves his hand, proclaiming, “No, no, my friend, you won’t be fighting me...”

Suddenly, the air becomes electric.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the crime-lord turns on a heel, gesturing to the crowd with the all the practiced cool of an entertainer, “Our lovely little guest will be going head to head with our favorite...”

There’s a crescendo of excitement. Cal notices an uptick on the counter on the broadcast screens -- he realize, quickly, that they’re bets and currently, someone named Fropolo’f is betting the most money against him. Real confidence booster that is.

“Someone get baby his toy! He’s gonna need it!”

His lightsaber is launched from the loge, and the Jedi catches it quickly, igniting it on instinct as his skin crawls in anticipation. The redhead looks around, eyes cast on the crowds of smugglers and thugs lining the balcony.

The wide angle shot of fear on his face is painted across the rumbling arena’s screens.

Before Cal can bite in a retort, the echo of boots on durasteel begins -- coordinated and rhythmic. Boom... boom... boom... boom, boom, boom.

“You know her well -- a pure whirlwind of rage! She’s pink, she’s tatted, she’s daaaaaaaangerous!”

Boom-boom-boom. Boom-boom-boom.

BD makes a nervous boo-weeeeeeeep as the pace picks up. Cal swallows, gloved fist tightening nervously around the hilt of his glowing, golden blade. Green eyes dart around the square expanse of the arena, trying to get a gauge on where this opponent might appear from --

“Give it up for our girl...”

Boomboomboom, boomboomboom.

“RUUUUUUUU’KALLLLI!”

The roar is deafening.

Suddenly, the paneling in the floor separates, and from it emerges --

“...Ru?”

Ru’kali Lof is suddenly staring face-to-face with a ghost.

Her stance, wide-set with double blades humming in a hot white, seems to crack when she finally sees the face of her opponent.

She’s a handful of meters away but she’d know that flash of red hair anywhere.

Cal Kestis.

Cal fucking Kestis.

Oh, this is bad.

This is really bad.

#cal kestis x oc #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x original character #cal x oc #cal kestis fanfic #this feels so weird to be writing in a diff POV tbh #let me know what you think #genuinely bc this is a dif take from what i usually do!#shattered hilt

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boogiewrites · 4 years

Text

No. 9: The Body CH. 6

Characters: Diego Hargreeves & OFC Eve Corpuz

Summary: Eve explores the limits of her power. Diego is still stalking her and finds out more about her. Eve meets Klaus.

Warnings/Tags: Klaus. Talk of past trauma and phobias. Brief mentions of illness, injury and death.

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT! If you’d like added to the tags, just let me know. This is a multi-chapter fic.

Eve had begun to notice changes in her shape from the training. Work wasn’t as strenuous and honestly, her ass was looking fantastic. Her body was adapting but she felt she wasn’t exercising her mind enough. Out of the two, trying to use her mind and powers was harder to find time for since it was so draining. Using them at work in small increments to help things along was now manageable, but there were no visible results from it. Nothing she could look at, try to heal, and then see healed. So that’s where she started.

Eve wasn’t a stranger to doing illegal things. If you took a look at her juvenile record that would be clear. What she was doing wasn’t exactly illegal but it was certainly breaking some rules. She was finding it surprising how much she could get away with by simply wearing her white coat with her ID and having a determined look on her face. People held doors open for her that she didn’t have clearance for, add carrying a clipboard around on top of that and she could’ve gotten into just about anywhere it seemed. She was starting to understand how Diego was so good at it, and more interestingly understanding why he did it. That little flush of her cheeks and rush of misbehaving came back to her, something she’d not felt in over a decade, fueled her powers, and gave her a little oomph to work with.

She started small, visited patients being held that was out of the ER after surgery, vehicle accidents, and the like, plenty of small cuts and scrapes that no one would notice were gone. She’d look in and find someone resting and alone, not hard to do most nights. She’d find some road rash, a smaller gash, something not too intricate. At first, she thought she needed to put her hands on the person to heal and woke up a few very understandably startled people. But after a few successful attempts, she started to push herself more. By focusing she began to be able to heal cuts over and no scar would be left in its place. Whoever she did this to, she would check on their file until they were discharged, making sure she wasn’t hurting them or causing bad side effects. So far they’d all made a full recovery with no complications. This was extremely promising and made Eve’s confidence grow and therefore emboldened her to push herself.

She’d worn herself ragged running experiments on what she could or couldn’t do. She had a journal she kept hidden that she kept her results in. So far, she’d been able to find some limitations and strengths. No matter how hard she tried, she was no match for cancer. She could help with someone’s side effects momentarily but be unable to cure it. The same could be said for viral and bacterial instances. Once something had infiltrated and infested a body, she could no longer help it. She could only manipulate the body itself. Her hopes of being able to be the cure for cancer, which she would admit was a bit egotistical, were broken after seeing many fade away after brief respites she’d give them from nausea or pain. It was nice to be able to help certainly but having to see suffering and not be able to fix it was a heavy burden she was having to learn to deal with.

It was never easy to lose someone. It was something she wouldn’t say you got used to exactly, but it was something you could come to understand with time. Or at least be able to come to terms with. Since Eve was an emotional person deep down, and the healing she’d been trying to do to help herself manage that was opening up old wounds and was making her feel raw. Every life that slipped through her fingers would hit her harder than it had months prior. Which is what led her to be so reckless, she guesses. So she tried to bring someone back from the dead.

It wasn’t uncommon sadly, for a child brought in after catching a stray bullet from a hit and run or gang violence. It felt so unfair, and the first time she tried the child was rolled in, DOA, her heart poured out for them. She gave it her all, paddles, compressions and when nothing moved the vitals she had a last-ditch effort. A tear-filled pressing of her hands to the chest of the child, nurses looked on with heartbroken eyes for the doctor as she had a rare moment of breaking on the job. For a fleeting moment, a blip on the monitor later ruled out to a technical glitch, but Eve just couldn’t muster it. She passed out onto the bloody floor from her attempts and was sent home.

She’d had mixed feelings about it. Had she almost done it? Could she get stronger? Or had she found a line that she couldn’t cross? The page entry for her recorded attempts had teardrops running her ink on that entry. She felt defeated and decided to take a break.

--------------------------

Diego watches Eve without her knowing, as he sometimes still does. He trusts her, but a part of him always wants to be sure. She’s in an unusual neighborhood, going into an apartment building he doesn’t know. He decided to wait on her to appear again instead of finding her inside. He didn’t have to wait much more than an hour before she appeared again, seeming uneasy as she stepped back into the now dark streets.

He followed behind, spilling out of an alleyway after she passed and started the task of getting closer to her. When he finally got close enough to reach out and speak he was met swiftly with a switchblade and a series of moves he’d taught her.

“Woah! Hey! It’s me!” He says defensively, only a minor rise in key from surprise as he jumped back.

“Jesus fucking CHRIST Diego!” She says with an expression he’s never seen before.

“Hey! Hey! I didn’t know you’d be so jumpy!” He keeps his hands up between them as she huffs out of her nose like a bull, the late winter night air just still barely showing her breath.

“I’m a woman. Alone. At night on the street, dude!” She states obviously and biting as she puts her blade away. “Of COURSE I’m jumpy!” She whispers angrily.

“Look, there are people around and the streetlights are on... I didn’t know I’d scare you.” He explains with hands now on her shoulders. “You okay? You’ve got that wild look in your eyes.”

“I’m just…” she sighs and shakes her head. “I’m fine. I just… Wanna get home.”

“Looks like we need to train on lying.” He smirks.

She stares at him for a moment with pursed lips then shrugs and turns back in the direction she was going.

“Mind if I walk with you?”

“No, I'd like that actually.” She murmurs.

“What are you doing in this part of town?”

“Do you follow me everywhere?”

“No…” he answers defensively playful. “I was around and saw you. Got curious.”

“You can’t send a text like a normal person?”

“Not my style.”

“Difficult is your style.”

“Hey, slow down there with the rapid-fire insults here. Did I do something?”

“Besides stalk me? No.”

“Then why are you being such a-“ he stops as she shoots her eyes his way. “Difficult person?” He tries to cover smoothly.

Once again she stares as if contemplating something. “If I tell you will you stop asking?”

“Sorry, no promises. Don’t think I missed where you didn’t answer why you’re here.”

“Fine.” She begins to walk again. “I’m here apartment hunting. Not so great street, but that apartment is really nice. And I have a fear… a phobia that you’re gonna laugh at me for so I don’t wanna tell you.”

“When have I ever laughed at you?”

She raises her brows obviously at him.

“Okay, I won’t now.” he emphasizes.

“I don’t believe you for some reason.”

“I swear! I won’t.”

“Due to… past trauma, I am afraid of the dark. And I don’t know this part of town and it makes me nervous. I’d catch a cab but I want to learn the subways so I need to walk it.”

He stays quiet for a moment. “Afraid of the dark?”

“Yes, my mom would lock me in the closet and read scripture and scare me and shit. Okay? And it traumatized me so when it’s dark and I’m overstimulated I get really... panicky.” She explains defensively.

“Don’t have to fight me over it, it’s fine. I...get it.”

“Don’t tell me you were locked in a closet too?”

“No, but he did do it to my brother. And it was a mausoleum and not a closet.”

“Fuck.” she exhales.

“Yeah. Pretty fucked up.”

“The more we learn about each other the more often we say that.”

“Get used to it.” He huffs out a laugh. They walk for a moment in comfortable silence while Eve tried to let her defenses down against him. “You know you could’ve just... asked me to come with you ya know? I am pretty handy when it comes to navigating the city. And being a bodyguard.”

“It’s not something I’m proud of.” She shakes her head. “Yeah, Diego? Hey, could you babysit me because I’m a child who’s afraid of the dark and not a grown-ass woman who can handle her own shit?”

“Well, it’s better than you almost stabbing me!”

“And whose fault was that?”

“...your moms if you want to get really technical about it.”

She lets out a weak laugh and he feels accomplished. ”Don’t forget your dad too”

“Oh yeah fuck both of them.” He says eagerly in agreement. They share a smile and he stays close to her side. “Why are you looking for an apartment?” He breaks the silence.

“Some asshole keeps breaking into mine.”

“Seriously.” He grins and smacks her arm.

“Well I’m on salary now and it’s good money so I can afford a better place.”

“Oh. I kinda like your place.”

“I don’t hate it but it’d be nice to have some more room. An office, a view.” They stand at a corner to wait for a light change. “I’d like a place with more privacy. Maybe a doorman for safety?”

“And that apartment had all that?” He motions back with his thumb.

“Yeah, it was stupid nice for the area. I was surprised it wasn’t more-“ both their heads snap to the car that passed far too fast and close, and luckily it wasn’t them, but a bike messenger up ahead that going to be the target.

They see it happen so fast, and they’re both instinctually moving towards the man that’s now on the ground and trying not to scream, holding his leg.

They were the only ones close out of the street and rush to help.

“Ah fuck, don’t call the ambulance I dont have insurance okay?”

“Well, you’re not walking anywhere like that.” Diego states obviously.

“Lucky for you I’m a Doctor. Let me see. Can you move it?” She moves his sock down to quickly see bone through skin. “Ah man, I’m sorry to tell you this but it’s really...broken dude.” She looks at him with sympathetic eyes.

“Ah fuck.” They cry. “My boss is gonna fire me for sure now. I can’t afford to get this fixed… I can’t take time off…” they begin to hiccup and tears come quickly.

Eve stares at the trauma site and furrows her brow in thought. “Maybe I can…” she whispers.

“Doc...?” she hears Diego’s voice, a warning behind her.

“I’m gonna try. I have to.” She says with wide eyes that convince him on impact. She turns back and puts her hands on the busted ankle, “Stay still if you can.” She mutters before going into her focused state.

“What are you? Listen lady I appreciate you stopping but I don’t think praying over it is gonna work.” They offer but their voice slows as they gradually feel the pain disappear. “What the…” they turn their ankle in a circle and their jaw drops. “HOW DID? WHAT DID?”

Eve shares a very excited glance with Diego before he yanks her up. “We’ve gotta get out of here.”

“Wait no! Don’t go!” A now on their feet and the healed biker was calling out as they both ran down the street into the subway below.

She felt alive. Exhilarated. A smile on her face and hand in hand with Diego as they bobbed and swerved through the crowd.

“Did you SEE?” She calls out as they make it sliding just in time into the subway car.

“YES! You didn’t tell me you’d gotten so good!”

“I’ve been practicing!” She says out of breath and glowing from a sheen of sweat that she’d developed in the rush.

“I’d say so! You just...POOF!”

“I’ll have to show you my notes.”

“Notes?”

“I’ve been keeping track of all my attempts. Like a scientific study. Well… sort of…” she shrugs and wipes her hair back.

“You would find a way to make this nerdy.” He laughs.

“Scientific method is not nerdy!”

He laughs out loud. “That’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said!”

“That was awesome though right?”

“Yeah, it was risky but...awesome.” He nods in agreement as they both calm back down and move into whispers of her trial and error.

——————————-

“You just have to remember to be defensive and not just offensive.”

“You know I don’t give a shit about sports Diego.” Eve laughs as she pulls her gym bag over her shoulder.

“I’m serious! You'll get-" he insists with a whine.

"You’ll get yourself hurt when shit gets real.” She says with him and rolls her eyes. “I know! Okay?” She says with a sassy hand motioned his way. “I’ll work on it. Like I always do. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, cut me some slack.” She groans as he walks her to the front of the gym to leave.

They’re met with a thin and friendly-looking guy their age who she thought looked familiar. Diego’s body language automatically tenses.

“Oh hello there you.” Klaus coos at Eve whose bright friendly eyes don’t match Diego’s already annoyed ones at his appearance. “I didn’t know my brother would be busy with a beautiful woman tonight, my apologies.” He sweeps his hands and takes her's to kiss the back of it.

“Hi.” She stutters with surprise. “I was just leaving. Had a training session. Works got weird hours so your brother is nice enough to see me at night.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’d see a lovely thing like you anytime you wanted.”

“Let her go, Klaus.”

“What is your name before our paths separate and never meet again. I’d never forgive myself for not asking.”

“It’s Eve.” She laughs. “You’re much nicer than Diego. Do you know how to fight too? Maybe you could train me since he’s such an asshole.” She motions to Diego and Klaus lets out an amused sound.

“Alas I’m fairly useless in such things but I make up for it in other ways.” He winks.

“Okay! GOODNIGHT EVE.” Diego says politely pushing her out the door. “Sorry about Klaus He's…an idiot.”

“No apologies he's rather charming.” She teases him more and waves goodbye as she exits into her cab.

“What the fuck was that?” Diego shoves his lanky brother.

“Eve hmmm? A sexy name for a sexy little-“

“Stop it.” Diego groans.

“That’s her isn’t it?” Klaus smirks and begins to float about as Diego closes up.

“Her who?”

“Your mystery doctor.”

Diego doesn’t answer hoping naively that Klaus would stop.

“Oh come on, I’m your bro, your bud. Your pal. You can tell me.” He insists with outstretched arms.

“Yeah. I’m training her.”

“She seems like she’d be the one training you if you catch my drift.”

“It’s not like that.”

“That smile you had on your face before you realized I was watching would say otherwise.” He lilts. “You’re a terrible liar Diego just don’t try.”

“I’m a great liar!” He barks back.

“You’re shit and you should just be honest with me, I AM the psychic after all.”

“You’re not psychic you see the dead and-“

“And what is the difference?!” Klaus flops just hands at his side and follows his brother upstairs.

Diego continues as if he said nothing. “You’d have to be sober to do that so so I’m not gonna hold my breath on that.”

“I actually have been. Not that you supportive lot would notice.” He prances into the apartment behind a grunting Diego. “Because your little girlfriend is causing quite the ruckus amongst the city’s dead.”

“What?” Diego asks with a raised brow.

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“She almost brought one back.”

“She did…” he seems deep in contemplation for a moment. “Wait so you HAVE been sober?” Diego’s eyes turn soft and Klaus groans as he’s quickly approached and hugged.

“You are missing the point here Diego dear…”

“I’m proud of you.” He says with emotion in his voice and Klaus manages a heavy sigh and a pat to his back.

“Stop it now before I have feelings…” he pats him and pushes him away. “What do we know about this Eve? She’s messing with the balance, she’s a powerful little thing. And gorgeous I might add, I’d be keeping her to myself too. Unless she was into being shared…”

“I don’t think she is.” Diego falls back into his monotone answering after a brief glimmer of earnest emotion.

“Different strokes, different folks.” Klaus shrugs. “So is that ass as breathtaking as it looked in those leggings or-?”

“KLAUS!”

“What? I’m just a red-blooded American male, I see a nice ass, I admire it.”

“I wouldn’t KNOW.” He answers from behind the doorway of his bedroom, door left open. “But I’d have to say yes.” He adds quickly.

“Ahhhh! There he is.” Klaus applauds his brother's cheeky smile. “Now that you’re not in a prudish mood, I actually do want to know about her. Details, man! Out with it! What’s my little private dick figured out on our newest sibling?”

“Ew don’t say that.”

“I knew you wanted to fuck her.” Klaus smirks.

“Jesus Klaus!” Diego groans.

“Not that it’s stopped any of us before, cough Luther, cough.”

“Hey, we’re not biological!”

“Defending Luther now? Number one? Daddy’s goodest boy? Diego’s sworn nemesis?”

“EW! No! I’m just… saying. It’s a fact so...it’s...valid.”

“Good thing you’ve got your looks hun.” Klaus tsks.

“Do you wanna know about her or you wanna talk shit and get hit?”

“So hostile.” Klaus shakes his shoulders. “Go on you party pooper, tell me about our new super doctor.”

@s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s @jaegeeeeer @diegos-butt @anglovesthis

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves fanfic #The Umbrella Academy #the umbrella academy fanfic #david castañeda

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stormyblue90 · 4 years

Text

Blessed by the Gods pt. 2

Alexios meets his niece and nephew! Continuation of this oneshot!

Also tagging @alexi-ohs for some soft, post-Deimos Alexios.

Familiar red and white buildings came into view as the sun began to set behind the Taygetos mountain range. Alexios had finally returned to the lands of Sparta after being gone for three months. It was still strange to him, returning and having a growing sense of familiarity. The only reason it started to feel like he could possibly make a home here was his sister and mother. Had it not been for them, he'd still be the Cult's weapon, the monster Deimos.

It had only been two years since that day on Taygetos, Alexios was still gradually finding himself within the shell of Deimos. He still struggled with the occasionally violent outburst when provoked, or nightmares. They had thankfully, lessened as of late, his last nightmare had been just before he left on the Adrestia. He had come to take after his older sister becoming a mercenary. It was the only lifestyle it seemed he could be suited for now. Before, he had travelled together with Kassandra, however this was the first time he had been on his own due to her being a delicate condition. He was thankful for never having an episode while away. He had no intention of hurting his sister's friends onboard the ship.

"So how does it feel to return home?" Barnabas asked, his boisterous voice catching Alexios' attention.

"I'm...not sure." Alexios answered. "It's not something I'm used to."

"Perhaps with time you will." replied the soft voice of Herodotos, also accompanying Alexios' return to Sparta.

Alexios nodded silently, hoping that the old man would be right.

Both of Kassandra's friends had been willing to give her brother a chance, whether at her suggestion or not Alexios wasn't sure, nor did he care. He was thankful someone else outside his immediate family was willing. Slowly he had begun to befriend them as well. It wasn't hard to see why Kassandra enjoyed their company. Barnabas was bombastic, friendly, and his spirits never dampened. A welcome change from the fear, disgust, and coldness he had grown up with in the Cult. Herodotos was quieter, but patient. Alexios knew the man was insatiably curious, but he never asked uncomfortable questions. He would let Alexios open up on his own terms, at his own pace.

"How long has it been? Three months since you left these lands?" Herodotos asked.

"I think so." Alexios answered.

"Ha! By now you should be an uncle!" Barnabas cried.

He was right, when Alexios first left, Kassandra looked as if she was about to burst from her pregnancy. No doubt his niece or nephew had been born while he was away.

"You're right Barnabas. Hm, I wonder if I have a nephew or niece?"

"No matter, I'm sure they will the strongest warrior in all of Hellas!"

Alexios put on a mock face of offense before saying. "Only after ME of course!", causing the older men to chuckle.

Finally the three of them made it to the shared house of Kassandra and Brasidas, his sister carrying a large basket of fruit and vegetables inside.

"Good to see you're not fat anymore!" Alexios called out in a joking manner.

"I was not FAT! I was pregnant- Barnabas! Herodotos!" Kassandra turned and smiled seeing her old friends. "I didn't expect you two to come with Alexios."

"And miss out meeting the new member of the family? HA! Of course not!" Barnabas cried.

"I do hope motherhood has been kind to you Kassandra." Herodotos said.

"Well, it has been...surprising, and my biggest challenge yet. Please, come inside. I do hope you will be staying for dinner."

"Of course Kassandra, of course."

All three men followed her inside, finding Brasidas with the newborn twins, telling them various stories.

"By the Gods! You've had twins!" Barnabas exclaimed.

"How remarkable, congratulations to you both." Herodotos said, seeing the two swaddled bundles with Brasidas.

"Yes, twins. A boy and a girl." Kassandra replied.

"Like Apollo and Artemis!" Barnabas said. "You have truly been blessed!"

"Barnabas, Herodotos! It is good to see you here." Brasidas welcomed.

Kassandra sat the basket on the table in the kitchen before walking towards her husband, taking one of the twins, her daughter Zenais.

"Was Pater telling you exciting stories again little ones?" she asked, cradling her daughter who softly cooed in reply.

"Oh yes, I was telling them the story of how we met and fought in the Monger's burning warehouse." Brasidas said.

"Oooh how exciting!" Kassandra replied as her daughter giggled more.

Both parents brought their children to the older men, offering to let them hold their children.

"This is Zenais, in the red blanket." Kassandra said as she offered Barnabas the wrapped bundle.

"Awww look how small and cute she is!" He said, gently tickling the baby's nose, causing her to giggle and grasp at his finger.

Brasidas allowed Herodotos to hold the second child wrapped in white, "And this one is our little Leonidas. Though we sometimes call him Leon for short."

"Named for his great grandfather I see. Quite the legacy young one."

"Well, he was born with birthmarks resembling the constellation of Leo. It seemed to be fate." Brasidas replied. "And Zenais with an eagle shaped mark."

"Ah fate is a funny thing indeed. Who knows what these little ones will destined for." Barnabas responded.

"They'll be destined for whatever they choose, and a life full of love." Kassandra said.

Alexios stood by, quiet, letting the old man coo and fawn over the babies as if they were their own grandchildren. With how close they were to Kassandra, they might as well be. He felt rather awkward however, while he had been expecting to be an uncle for quite some time, it was still shocking to see. To know it was real, and not some distant dream he'd wake from. Alexios didn't know how to behave around, or approach a baby, leading to his sense of awkwardness. Something so innocent and fragile. He didn't even feel worthy to be in the same room as a newborn, let alone his own niece and nephew.

While the old men were happy to hold the newborns, Alexios made no effort to suggest he might want to. In truth, he was afraid to hold either of them. Afraid he'd hurt them, break them. Even though he had recovered immensely, he still felt unworthy to hold something so pure.

"Alexios?" Kassandra said, walking towards him. "Is something wrong?"

"I-I uh...never seen a baby before." he replied, quite sheepishly, shifting on his feet awkwardly.

Kassandra rolled her eyes, "Of all the things in the world that make you hesitate, it's a baby!" she chided. "It's ok, you won't hurt them by being in the same room. No need to be so anxious. This should be a good experience for you."

"I'm not so sure... But I hope you're right." he replied, cautiously walking over to them. He still dare not hold them.

Within a moment, his face changed from anxious hesitation, to curiosity.

"They're so small. And... pink." he said, looking down at his niece.

"Of course they are! They're BABIES Alexios." Kassandra replied. "Honestly they were much smaller and pinker three months ago when they were born."

Alexios glanced at her, a bit miffed at her tone. He just told her he'd had never seen a baby before, how was he supposed to know? He only knew they'd be small, but not quite how small, let alone pink and squishy looking.

A few hours had passed, dinner and wine was served and eaten, and numerous stories passed between everyone. The people and places Herodotos has seen, how Kassandra and Brasidas were adjusting to parenthood, the jobs Alexios had taken, and several of Barnabas' tall tales. A number of which he told with great enthusiasm to the twins who were both enraptured with his tales of monsters and gods; almost as if they already understood everything he said.

"They do love to be told stories." Brasidas had mentioned earlier. "Certainly helps calm them down when they get upset."

Meanwhile Alexios was still reluctant to make any sort of physical contact with either child. Although there was some sort of tugging in his heart to hold them. He wasn't sure why, but the longer he observed them, the more his curiosity grew, the more he wanted to hold them. However his fear and anxiety kept him from doing so, let alone asking.

As if she could read his mind, Kassandra spoke up.

"You know you CAN hold them, you don't have to just stare."

"No! No I uh...I can't- They're so...small and soft...fragile, I-I'd probably break them or-" he said, mild panic in voice.

Kassandra put her hand on his shoulder. "It's ok Alexios. You won't hurt them." she encouraged. "I know you won't. I trust you."

Those three little words, 'I trust you', meant so much to him in that moment. She trusted him, she trusted him with a NEWBORN. Kassandra never trusted easily, very few truly had her trust and confidence. If she said she trusted him, then she meant it and had every reason to.

He nodded, "Alright, if you say so."

"Alright then. Hmm, I think I've got an idea to help you feel less nervous. Wait here." Kassandra left the room and when she returned, in her arms were as many cushions, blankets, and pillows she could carry.

She placed them in a large pile on the floor, much the way she did so long ago as a child. Once she was satisfied she motioned for Alexios to come over.

"Sit here." she told him, and he did.

Kassandra walked over to the shared cradle the twins lie in, and picked up her son. She brought him over to Alexios.

"When I first held you as a baby, I was just as nervous as you. I thought I'd break you. So I did this." she gestured with a nod to the pile of pillows and blankets

"Oh.." Alexios hesitantly held out his arms, still nervous about holding his nephew.

"Don't worry Leon, your Uncle Alexios isn't as bad as Uncle Stentor." She said to her son and she gently placed him in Alexios' arms. Adjusting him where needed.

Alexios let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The small, fragile, pink child looked up at him with large eyes. The same color as his father's Alexios noted.

"Chaire...little one." he said awkwardly, his nephew cooing softly in response.

"See? He likes you." Kassandra told him. She looked towards her brother and saw something in his eyes she'd never seen.

Alexios looked softer, his eyes held a touch of wonder, relief, it was as if holding his nephew brought something out in him he'd not been able to bring out beforehand. She has been right, this would be good for him.

As Alexios settled into holding a baby, he surprised his sister by gently stroking his nephew's face with the back of his forefinger. "So...soft" he remarked.

Leon reflexively held onto his uncle's finger when it was in reach, causing a soft smile to emerge on Alexios' face. "You will be a strong one." he whispered.

Kassandra smiled, happy to see her brother growing more confident in his ability to be soft, gentle, to be human again.

"You know," she began, "this was YOUR blanket once."

"What?"

"The baby blanket he's wrapped in. It was yours. Obviously we weren't expecting twins, so I had to improvise. I'd been given your old baby blanket by a priest in Argos."

Alexios felt the fabric between his thumb and index finger. Perhaps he was imagining it, but it somehow felt familiar. Like he was recalling a dream he had a long time ago.

"I see. It does almost feel...familiar."

Leon yawned, clearly growing sleepy in his uncle's arms. "Looks like he's growing tired."

"Well him and his sister have had a big evening. Meeting new members of the family, must be exhausting for a baby. Alright my little warrior, time for bed."

Gently Alexios handed Leonidas to Kassandra as she brought him to his crib, Brasidas following with Zenais.

"I believe it best we took our leave Alexios." Herodotos mentioned. "It was wonderful to see you again Kassandra, and meet your children."

"It was great to see you too." Kassandra replied. "I'd say I'd join you again on the Adrestia soon but..."

"Ah do not worry my friend!" Barnabas said, "You have a family to look after! The Adrestia will always be welcome to you. Perhaps next time your little ones can join us!"

Kassandra laughed, "Maybe in a few years Barnabas."

"You two can head back to the ship." Alexios said. "I think I'll stick around for a while. Still haven't seen Mater after all."

Both men nodded, taking their leave as they hugged Kassandra goodbye. He wasn't sure how, or why, but somehow seeing his niece and nephew made Alexios feel like he could call this place home one day. He actually felt like there was something here he could protect. Alexios WOULD protect them he silently promised. He would make sure what happened to him would NOT happen to the twins. Alexios knew their parents felt the same, and he'd help make sure the pair were protected and loved as well.

#Assassins Creed Odyssey #Assassins Creed #Alexios #Kassandra #Brasidas #Kassidas #Herodotos #Barnabas #Herodotos and Barnabas being excited grandpas!

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hj-creates · 4 years

Text

A Possible Scandal

So, I wrote a little Laurens/Madison fic. I’ve never attempted this ship before, but @layaisdaboss requested it and it’s honestly adorable. The link to the fic on Ao3 is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27359851 but feel free to read it here as well.

Pennsylvania, Fall of 1780

John stared out the window of the carriage as it rumbled over the cobblestones. His father, Henry, noticed his son’s dour expression and heaved a sigh. “You don’t have to pout you know, I promise you only have to stay a week or so.”

“I should be back with my men on the front lines.”

“There are many ways to fight for your country, my boy. Not all of them involve risking your life on the battlefield.”

“It suits me better then pontificating in stuffy chambers or arguing over fancy dinners.”

“The war won’t last forever, John. When it’s over, the colonies will need well-spoken, well-educated men to lead our new nation. As my son, you are in a good position to help shape the laws and create what this country can become.”

John turned quickly back to his father. “Doubtful. They don’t listen to me now. How many times have I begged them to create a militia of slaves and ensure their freedom once the fighting is over? We rail against the unjustness of the British, but they have given the enslaved that same opportunity. If for no other reason then we are losing thousands of smart, strong men to the other side should we do this, but no. People like Jefferson and even Washington himself refuse to see the hypocrisy of fighting for independence while keeping human beings in chains.” He gave his father a fiery stare.

Henry exhaled and turned away. “I did support your effort. I am sorry it didn’t pass the house.”

“And when, exactly, were you planning on freeing the slaves in your own home?” John said coldly.

“It’s not that simple, John. There are economic and societal-“

“With all due respect, father, stuff it.” John clenched his jaw. “I’ve heard all these arguments before.” He sat back and Henry tersely obliged, happy to see the State House finally coming into view.

John suffered through the numerous introductions and polite exchanges before he and his father finally took their seats in one of the many rows of benches that gave the Great Room the feeling of a church. Most of the discussions seemed to be more about accounting than the high-minded discourses on the birth of a republic that Henry had promised. As the older, fat statesmen argued over the budget of the Continental Army and how they simply couldn’t spare another dollar for those fighting on the front lines, John had had enough and stood up.

“We’re starving out there!” His impassioned voice filled the cavernous hall. “Do you have any idea how many men died during the winter at Valley Forge? How many soldiers perished not due to British muskets but hunger and frostbite? You ask these brave souls to fight for you and then you make them march over frozen fields without even socks on their feet! And that’s not even the worst part. These patriots are getting sick and dying. Forced to live in squalor and drink filthy water because we have no money for a decent shelter or proper sanitation. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Quibbling over a few coins for the army while you dine on fine china and drink from crystal goblets. As an aide of General Washington, I can attest that all in his house were forced to share the same plate at every meal. Militiamen are forced to steal from local farmers, even under penalty of death, just for a scrap of meat.” He felt his father’s hand on his arm. “But go ahead and debate the merits of fulfilling the latest request from the quartermaster. I hope your lavish feasts are worth the suffering of the men you claim to hold in such high regard.” He sat down and his nostrils flared, his anger apparent as Henry looked quickly at the faces around the room.

“Yes.” Henry loudly cleared his throat, obviously flustered and desperately trying to redirect. “We can certainly take into account what my spirited son has so passionately described for us. The well-being of those on the front lines should of course be considered when we deliberate how best to distribute our funds.”

John rolled his eyes. He glanced across the room and he noted most faces set in a frown as they regarded him with equal parts shock and disdain. Except for one. He looked at a face, younger than most of the other men there, who was actually smirking and seemed almost delighted. John gave him a little smile and the other man grinned in return. When his father was once again seated, ceding the floor to another delegate, John elbowed him softly and gestured across the room. “Who is that?”

“That is James Madison. A smart, young man from Virginia.”

John noted the name and let his gaze linger for a moment. Had he just found an ally?

As the day’s proceedings came to an end, John pushed through the throng of well-dressed men until he found who he was looking for. He stepped in front of the short, plump man and offered his hand. “Mister Madison? I am John Laurens. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

The other man smiled. “The pleasure is mine. That was quite the diatribe you gave today. It’s nice to have someone who has actually seen the atrocities of battle speak for our poor men out there fighting.”

Laurens scoffed. “All the impassioned words will mean nothing if we are not helped soon. Winter will be here soon enough and our soldiers still lack coats and boots and blankets. There is not enough food to eat since the locals have all decided to sell to the British now that American currency is worthless. These are dire times, my friend. I am sure you know as well as I. What regiment do you serve in? The Virginian Militia?”

“Oh.” Madison’s voice was soft. “I am unfortunately too unwell to serve in the field. I am second-in-command to my father though. A colonel in the Orange County militia. Since being elected to the Continental Congress, I have spent most of my time here. Your argument is something I have been pleading myself. The financial issues that plague us are quite a thorny mess but I am trying to amend the Articles of Confederation to let us impose a tariff on imports that we can use to support the army’s efforts.”

“You are?” John’s face softened and he smiled wide.

James nodded and he felt his cheeks grow warm, “I am trying. There is much resistance.”

“I will talk to Washington and Hamilton. Between the General’s sway and Alex’s persuasive writing, we can work to make this a reality.” John was talking faster, his enthusiasm growing.

“I would appreciate that very much.” James smiled.

“John!” The younger Laurens heard his father’s voice calling to him. Madison saw the change in John’s expression and recognized what it meant immediately.

“Lieutenant Colonel.” James nodded to Henry. “I was hoping your son and I could enjoy a hearty dinner and a robust exchange of ideas tonight. I am friends with the owner of the Orchid Inn. He can give John and I a lavish meal and some much deserved wine.”

Henry narrowed his eyes, knowing his son too well. “Oh, that’s not necessary. You can dine with us tonight. I’m staying at a lovely little home off Main St.”

John grimaced and James looked unsure of what to do. “I.. uh… that’s very kind of you sir.”

“Very well.” Henry seemed proud of himself. “See you at seven. I’ll send a coach.”

After an awkward dinner, John finally tossed his napkin on the table when he finished his dessert. “Well then father, if I may be excused, James and I would like to take our leave and relax a bit at the tavern across the street.”

Henry peered up at his son with an almost imperceptible scowl on his face. “We have plenty of brandy and cordials here, but I suppose you are hoping for a moment with Mr. Madison that isn’t under the watchful eye of your father.” John didn’t respond but pleaded with his eyes. “Fine. I can assume you will have the utmost respect for Mr. Madison’s stature… and dignity.”

John knew exactly what his father was hinting at. “Am I not always the pinnacle of honor and manners?”

His father arched an eyebrow. “Remember you are a married man, Jackie.” The fact seemed to take James by surprise.

John forced a smile. “How could I forget? I’m haunted every day by it.” With that he grabbed the coats that were hanging by the door and handed Madison’s to him.

They wasted no time hurrying to the tavern and finding a small, corner table near the fire. After the bottle of burgundy had been uncorked and their glasses filled, Madison eagerly started in.

“I must say, Colonel Laurens, your stories of action on the battlefield are most exciting.”

John shrugged. “There is much chance for glory while fighting. Me and my friends seem to be always narrowly escaping death.”

“Is that so?” James leaned in closer. “You must be very lucky then. I see no scars and detected no injuries.”

“Lucky, perhaps. But not injury free. There are mementos from the war all over my flesh, a slight ache in my leg from when my horse was shot out from under me and a mighty scar on my shoulder from where a musket ball went straight through.”

James’s eyes were wide. “Are you serious? How did your arm not get blown clean off?”

John smirked. “Didn’t let it. I had more important things to do than whine about being hurt. We were trying to ambush the Brits. I was leading a company of men. I got shot, tore off my sash, wrapped it around the hole to stop the bleeding and kept marching.”

Madison sat there in rapt attention. “That can’t be true.”

John drained his glass and set it down hard. “You don’t believe me?” He grinned and kept his eyes focused on James. He shrugged off his jacket and unbuttoned his waistcoat. He loosened his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt. James felt his jaw grow slack and quickly looked around the bar to see if anyone was watching this spectacle. John didn’t stop staring at James and yanked his shirt open, sliding one of the sleeves down his arm and revealing a circular-shaped scar, bumpy red skin, and stripes of white where the wound tried to heal itself.

James sat back and exhaled. He knew such an injury would have been the end of him. “That’s… impressive.”

John finally looked away and redressed. “That’s nothing.” He said nonchalantly. “I have scars like that all over.”

James didn’t know what to say and he certainly didn’t want to picture where exactly those scars would be.

After a few more drinks, Madison grew bold. “Why did your father have to remind you about being married?”

John snorted. “Oh that’s just Henry. He probably thought I was going to seduce you.”

“What?” James felt his heart race and he mildly started to panic. “Seduce me? What? Why would he think that? I’m- I’m a.. umm..”

“It’s not you. He’s caught me with men before.”

James felt as if the entire earth had shifted underneath him. “He what?”

John sighed. “If you want to leave because of that, I understand.” He looked at James who showed no signs of going anywhere. “Yes. I occasionally engage in ‘unacceptable’ affections with men. My father found me once with Alex.”

“Alex?”

“Hamilton.”

“Hamil-“ James gasped and slapped his hand in front of his mouth.

John rolled his eyes and poured another large glass of wine. “Aye. But he is engaged now. Set to marry in a few weeks. So, it appears our romance, or whatever you want to call it, has come to an end.” He took a long sip. “Which is better for him, I suppose. All his ambitions.” He emphasized that last word, like it was something he and Alex had fought over many times. “Better for him to secure a spot in an illustrious household headed by one of the most powerful men in New York.” He gulped more wine. “I mean, this fucking orphan is now going to be the son-in-law of General Schuyler. All because he wrote a few well-crafted love letters to the man’s daughter. I mean, you should see the things he wrote to me.” He laughed, a bit too loud. “Imagine being tossed aside by some simpering girl. To know that the letters he wrote to you weren’t anything special at all. It’s just how he talks to anyone he wants something from. To know that something you thought was monumental was just pedestrian to the person you loved. At least with Lafayette he is already married. He is open with how much he loves Adrienne and I know I will never compare to her. We just like having fun. But Alex…” His voice trailed off. “I just thought…” He sat back and let his head fall to his chest.

James watched him and a small smile crept over his face. “I understand.”

Laurens scoffed. “You couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to be-“

“Jefferson.” James cut him off.

“I’m sorry?” John quickly looked up at him in confusion.

“Four years ago. I first met him at the Virginia Constitutional Convention. I could barely speak. He’s very tall, you know, and quite handsome. He’s only eight years older than me but it felt like he had lived an entire lifetime more. Then last year, he became Governor of Virginia and I was on the Council of State. We worked closely almost every day and I thought…” he sighed. “We started working late into the night, just the two of us and we grew close. I didn’t dare initiate anything but eventually he did. I thought we could develop something, entirely in secret of course, but when I mentioned it, he laughed in my face. He asked if I really thought he give up all his other partners. He said he was sorry if I had gotten the wrong idea.” Madison swallowed hard. “But he didn’t seem sorry. He seemed… I don’t know. His smile was almost victorious. Like he had won something. I felt like an idiot of course. I haven’t even thought about a relationship with anyone since then.”

“Jefferson?” John looked deep in thought.

“Yes. I work with him every day still. It’s torture.”

“Jefferson…” Laurens still had a faraway look in his eyes. “You’re right. He is handsome.”

Madison’s shoulders slumped. “That. Was not the point of the story.”

Laurens laughed. “I’m teasing. But you know the best remedy for a broken heart.”

“More wine?” James smiled back.

“Not when there’s two of us.” John had a mischievous gleam in his eye and took Madison’s hand. He threw some coins on the table and led him to the door. “Come on. What do you say we get out of here? Find somewhere private and not think about Alex or Thomas or anyone else for an hour or so.”

“I’m not sure. It gets cold so quickly now. I really should be headed home.”

“Oh, don’t be a ninny.” He pulled the other man into the street. “Hmm... We could go down to the docks.”

“The salt water makes my asthma flare up.”

John looked up at the top floor of the tavern. “I suppose we could just sneak up into the attic. It’s just storage. No one ever goes up there.”

“With all that dust? Are you mad? I’ll be sneezing for hours.”

“What about the barn at my father’s house?”

“I’m allergic to hay.” John spun around in frustration and pushed Madison against the outside wall of the tavern. “What are you doing?” James whispered.

“Well, if we can’t go anywhere. Then I shall take you right here.”

“But what if someone sees?”

“I’ll say you were having trouble breathing. I was merely trying to keep your airways open.”

“With our clothes off?”

“Of course! Let that fresh air really get into your pores.” John grinned and James couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You’re as tenacious as you are charming.”

“Is that a yes?”

James took John’s hand and directed it to the growing bulge in his breeches. “What do you think?”

John sauntered back into the house and hung up his coat. He quietly crept up the stairs, trying to not make any noise.

“Must have been quite the conversation between you two.” Henry’s voice stopped him in his tracks. John turned and saw his father in the study. He sat in a chair by the window, smoking his pipe and facing the hallway.

“It was.” John said simply, without a trace of guilt in his voice.

“I assume you stuck with discussing policy and compromises between military and state?”

“Oh father, please. Of course not. That sounds dreadfully boring. We also talked about our families, what living in the trenches is like, and the different places we have visited in Europe.”

“I see.” Henry seemed to relax a little. “Well it seems like you two are building quite a friendship. I encourage you to get more acquainted with someone who comes from such a well-regarded family as Madison. That boy has a sharp mind and his father is quite wealthy. Well connected too. I think he is even mentoring under Jefferson.” John snorted at that. “What?” His father asked. “It’s true. I’ve seen them travel to and from Virginia together.”

“I’m not doubting you. James himself said he and Thomas are very close.”

Henry nodded and then started to pick up on John’s subtle comment. “Just understand there is much to be mined from a cordial relationship with Madison. He has already done so much at such a young age. He has the ambition and pedigree to really make it far. The two of you could be the future leaders of this nation. Taking after your fathers. I hope you plan on seeing him again.”

“Oh, I definitely do, father.” He sneered down at Henry triumphantly. “We have A LOT in common.” With that, he turned his back and went up to bed.

#Laurmads #John Laurens #james madison #Okieriete Onaodowan #Anthony Ramos #laurens #laurens x madison #hamilton #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fic

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

Text

Like A Drug (Chop and Change, Part 6.)

Series descriprion: Twenty years ago, you’ve given a promise to a boy who claimed to imprint on you. Against your will, you decided to keep it and to visit La Push just to see if anything has changed.

Part summary: For two year’s you were trying to put up with the small troubles of the human day-to-day life and with a surprise visit in La Push, Seth is about to do something crazy.

A/N: Two parts to go! See you in the next time, folks, when we’ll play with the werewolves a bit more. Can’t wait for that!

Uh, to say it effectively - I mixed up the parts a bit last time, so the next one’s the shorter one.

Warning: It’s highly recommended to read the Football Time miniseries first since this contains an unlike pairing which is explained in the series, also the circumstances are given there.

Word counter: 6.1 K

Tagging: @nemodoren. @missdictatorme

Spotify playlist: ✨ Twilight Crackheads ✨

Series masterlist: H E R E

PICTURE SOURCE

You've stayed the night after the trip to the waterfalls you've planned, even if the house was empty in the morning because Seth had to wolf out, at least for the night... And you picked him from work at the kindergarten after that... And stayed the night again. Even if you planned on staying the nights at Cullen's house, at least at the beginning of everything, there was something empty and joyless inside you when you had to leave him for the night and the bigger part of the day. It was called 'missing someone' when you turned into a sad, whiny puppy. You knew that this was how it was to be - that you can't get too hung on his presence even if you wished to spend as much time with him as you could. You wanted to find some job as soon as you'd have the chance, even if you had quite some money saved in the bank, just to be financially helpful in a socially acceptable way.

For a few months, you were worried about your time with the man. Your brain still didn't figure out that Seth's human, this part was clear as a day to you, but you still didn't get to the part when you'd realize he's a human only partially. He was more human than you, but a mythical being nonetheless. It still didn't click, that you had the whole eternity in front of you that you can spend together. As long as he would be shifting to his wolf form, you didn't have to be worried that he'll age and... Won't be there one day. But it took time to master the information, it took a lot of time spent by his side while he was sleeping - the time you were staring into the ceiling, playing with his hair in the total silence of the rainy nights. Well... Except his snoring that was making sure he's okay and safe.

Seth didn't push you to do any sort of human things you didn't need to do - but you still ate food when you've been offered some, just for the good matters, which happened mainly at Sue's. There, you were playing a theatre for Bella's dad, who was still eyeing you suspiciously. You tried to breathe normally, to drink liquids as the other did, just so you wouldn't stick out too much. There was no 'weird vampire stuff' (as Seth called it) allowed in this man's presence. And while no-one, mainly the Quileute residents, commented on that you don't have to eat ever again, the people seemed to be pleased when they saw you chew on a piece of grilled meat or some of Emily's cakes.

The woman in question, Emily, was amazing in every meaning of the word. Since you had a load of time when Seth was at work and you didn't find any yet, you were spending a lot of time at Sam and Emily's, along with their small boy Elijah and Sakari, who was staying there the time, being babysitted. Since there was no need to keep who you were in secret, you did a lot of irresponsible stuff with him and Sakari, stuff that Aro would destroy you for - sometimes, you took them to the tops of the trees, other times, you ran around with the kids on your back and when there were the warm, sunny days, you showed him how beautiful can vampires be. And for that, the kids found a deep liking for you. You were just like uncle Emmett and you were as fun as him. Uh, you already knew he wouldn't be glad to hear that you stole his place of the La Push children's hero.

When you weren't too busy with showing the kids some pretty dangerous stuff, you were there to learn how to cook. Seth was telling you all the time that you don't have to cook for him; he could cook on his own before you settled down in La Push and was fine with continuing with doing so. Yet for you, there was something utterly exciting about seeing the finished product you made by yourself - just like when Emily taught you how to bake her legendary muffins and you slowly slid them out of the over for the first time. Or when she showed you many ways of how to prepare fish, which you kinda learned to make peace with Charlie.

Charlie Swan, the Forks ex-chief of police, still had a suspicion about you and your funky business, no matter what it was. Yet when you started to come on regular visits with food (normal, human, and delicious food) his suspicion was less wary. Sue also sometimes invited you for a cooking lesson, teaching you how to make her children's favorite recipes or to talk about their father, whatever you felt like. Honestly, she had never seen a vampire so keen on cooking and baking, but there was something magical about your eagerness to learn all of the secrets. For that, both of the women just took it as it was. You've been a nice company to keep around.

As usual, soon after you started living in La Push, Bella and Nessie came on a visit. They didn't come to see you and Seth, but you've met them at Sue's by a complete coincidence. And not so long after that, they've come back again. For a reason, they weren't sitting alone in the car - Carlisle was sitting on the backseat, grinning at you as the car stopped in front of the Cullen residence. And Esme somehow fit into the car as well. She happily jumped out on the other side of the car, having a big smile on her face. - "Surprise!" - The woman cried out and went for a firm hug. Oh Lord, she could smell it right away. From your clothes, from your hair, from your scent - you smelled like one of the shifters. Just like Emmett said. - "You are a surprise, I tell you that." - You hugged her back, stepping aside to hug Carlisle as well.

With a chatter, all of you disappeared inside. It took you by a surprise when you realized they not only came to Forks without telling you beforehand - but that Sam and Emily knew about them - because they've been invited them on the Sunday brunch at their place. It was given they'll come there since Nessie couldn't wait to see Claire and Quil, with whom she spent a big portion of her childhood. Who were the Cullens not to show up? - "And where is Seth? We were hoping to see him." - Esme asked with a sweet smile, making both your eyebrows rise at the same time.

The topic had caught Bella's attention. A normal human wouldn't realize she's listening, but you knew, since she sent a glance your way. - "Oh, he's at work today, but he'll come later. They're on a trip with the class today and we'll be on our way to Emily when he picks me up." - "So you don't have work yet?" - Esme answered. Sure, it could sound like Esme is having some ill intentions with this question, but she was just wondering, trying to make some small talk. - "I told myself that I want to learn how... To do the normal human stuff first. I'm still terrible at it, even after two damn years." - You told her quickly. Esme could understand what did you mean. - "But unfortunately, I don't know if we make it to Sam's this Sunday. We have some plans." - At that, Bella glanced over you once again before watching Nessie doing her homework.

"We've already talked to Seth. He told us you're gonna be there, well, he's the one who invited us. Oh, I hope I didn't ruin you a surprise or something, Seth wouldn't be glad at that." - Something was going on. No-one in the house knew what it was, but something was happening behind the curtains. And you didn't know if you are a fan of that. Seth wasn't the man who would have plans behind your back - let alone plans with the Cullens. Every time there was something upcoming or going, the man just walked up to you, talked to you, and asked if that's fine. To which you usually answered that it's fine. - "No, I don't think so. He's just busy in the last few weeks, Jake and he started to work on a car together, he's in work a lot, maybe he just didn't find the time to ask me about Sunday or just forgot about it. Our plans can wait a week or two we'll be glad to see you at the family grill party." - As Esme listened to you talking like that - especially when you called Sam and Emily 'a family' -, there was a smile growing on her heart-shaped face. Carlisle walked from behind the woman kissing Esme on her temple, smiling at you the same way.

It was nice. Even if you weren't their child, these two were happy to see you finally... Having a life, building something for yourself. Until that point, you've been just surviving. You were alone, without a partner and any solid future. Sure, you and Seth were still kind of fresh and certainly unconventional from a few points of view - but Carlisle nor Esme hadn't seen you this happy before. Sure, you've been the same for a few centuries now, whether it was the mental or the physical side of you, but it were the details around you which told them that most likely, you've finally found your place among these people. From all of the places you've been at throughout the immortal life, from all the people you've met, you've waited for the longest. Now, it was your time to be happy. This was your place and after more than four centuries of wandering, you finally found it.

There was the fact that you shamelessly wore his shirts, for which Alice would most likely scold you like a kid, the small bracelet made out of small leather strips, the words you used to describe the Quileutes, and small sparkles in your eyes each time you mentioned Seth by his name or simply thought about him.

You've stayed at Cullen's until a small, old Rabbit stopped in front of it. It was Jake's old, and first car, which Seth had bought from him a shit ton years ago. It was at the time when Sue and Lee left the Clearwater residence to live their lives and Seth was just about to renovate the old family house, so Jacob gave him the car for free basically because the man didn't have much money at the time. And yes, you had your new and expansive car, but there was something you couldn't name about Seth's bad boy. Maybe it was the nostalgic feeling you had when you sat on the co-driver's seat? You didn't know. It couldn't go fast, but you didn't make Seth give the car away.

You waited for him with a big smile, watching him running through another wave of ice-cold rain, grinning as he did so. With almost a heroic lower lip biting, he threw the denim jacket he held over his head over his shoulder, leaning down for a kiss. It was an attempt to charm you, but it didn't work at all. - "Genius move, you've just wettened yourself." - You hummed unpleasantly, looking at the way his hair was growing. If you'd wait not even a month, it would be twice as long. Was this a wolf thing too? - "We'll need to shorten it. Your fur might get thick if we don't. How was it at work?" - With a chatter, you led him through the house on a dinner, which you prepared with Esme. The only ones eating was him and Nessie; for a moment, he was looking at you funny, before he realized you don't have to eat in a house full of vampires.

Bella couldn't believe her eyes. Well, you couldn't be mad at her - she still remembered Seth as the small, thin boy with a bright smile and gentle facial features. The smile and kind gaze still could be seen, yet he was not a boy anymore. And yes, there was some sort of subliminal jitters coming from your man every time he realized once more that he's in the presence of the Cullens. Whether it was about something particular or if it was about just that he was sitting in a house full of vampires, you couldn't decode his behavior. And just because you didn't want to pressure him, you didn't ask, even when you got back home.

As planned, without your consent, you set to Emily's house party on Sunday. Just to find out... - "You're going where?" - You asked as you looked at Seth, who was preparing a set of... - "I'm going fishing. Why are you looking at me like that?" - He wondered, kissing your cheek as he walked to the kitchen, packing sandwiches and some hot tea with him. - "And with who?" - You asked once more, furrowing more than before. - "With doctor Cullen. What's wrong?" - The man giggled at your confusion, closing the packed bag with waterproof clothes and put galoshe on his feet. - "It's just one evening and you've been at Emily's a thousand times, you'll be just fine. How long have you been living here, hm?" - Seth carefully opened his arms for you, smiling as you slowly walked closer to him. It was automatic at that point - to gently grip his ink-black hair with your fingers while he nudged your belly with his nose.

First, you rolled your eyes, but then you sighed and answered the simple question. - I'm living here for almost two years. It's just... I didn't even know you're planning on taking me to Emily's this Sunday. I thought we're going on that hike you promised. The one around the river." - It was barely a whisper, but the man heard it. At first, he didn't answer - his lips just gently kissed you through the fabric of your clothes. - "I just forgot to tell you. I'm sorry about the hike, but we can plan it any other weekend, baby. Carlisle will be here again... God knows when. And I need to talk to him." - Seth did the best puppy eyes you've seen on his face until that day, making your heart soften as your lips curled to a smile. - "About what?" - You wondered, but Seth just chuckled drily at the question, not telling you another word. Shortly after the conversation, you've been watching both the men leaving on their small fishing trip before joining Bella, Esme, Nessie, and your other friends from the reservation.

***

Carlisle wasn't blind, so he knew that something was going on when Seth, the lovely Seth who had a problem with keeping his mouth shut, was quiet the whole drive to Charlie and Harry's former fishing spot. Harry used to say that at this spot, there was never an instance where Harry would be coming back empty-handed. The doctor could feel Seth's pressure and heartbeat rising as they got closer and closer to the woods. - "Is everything going alright?" - Carlisle asked after another moment of silence. The man turned his head at Carlisle with widened eyes, almost as if he freaked out. - "Yes. There's nothing wrong... And you?" - Seth asked without realizing that the vampire can hear all the changes inside his body, like his increasing breath and the pumping of his heart.

The first half an hour was uncomfortable for both of them. Seth did his best to copy Harry's style of catching fish. The old man taught him how to prepare every small thing before he passed away - the bait, to control the line, make sure the hook was fine as well. They both brought the typical fisherman chairs on which they sat as they waited for their catches. - "Y/N will be out of her mind if I manage to catch something. She's trying to make a good impression on Charlie, Bells' dad, and he simply loves the food she brings him. Fish are his favorite." - Seth rambled when his mind figured out that they've been too quiet. Carlisle didn't answer, but gave Seth a small smile - he knew the man's struggling with some question, but Carlisle wasn't the type to try to get it out of Seth. He preferred to let the natural flow go. - "It's been a surprise when she told us she can cook now." - "Oh, you don't have an idea how good she cooks. I swear that she'll make me gain another thirty pounds in no time." - Seth leaned lower into his seat, having a dreamy smile on his face. For some time, Seth was just thinking about all of the delicious dishes you've been spoiling him with - just before he abruptly turned his eyes to Carlisle. The blonde vampire was already looking at him.

"I just want to ask you about something. That's why I've come up with a fishing trip... Even if it has to be incredibly boring for someone like you." - The younger man explained to Carlisle. Yet vampire's face curled up into a pleasant smile as he looked on the resting fishing rod. - "I haven't been fishing in a long time. It's a pleasant change for once, to just... Relax." - And it was true. Carlisle loved relaxing, normal activities - like reading, learning about the culture and new things, or fishing. He was thinking about having some of these trips with Esme if she'd be interested. - "What's the question, young man?" - Carlisle asked after checking his rod to see if something happened. - "You don't have any fish there just yet, doctor... I'll tell you when some bad boy catches on the bait, okay?" - Seth said with a smile, quickly checking on his one as well.

Dear Lord, it was so embarrassing and hard to just... Say these words out loud. Seth barely struggled with anything - he was an opened book for other people, he was extrovert and overall happy at any given moment he could be happy at. There was nothing that would scare him more than what he was about to say. - "There's this thing I'm thinking about... In the last few months. And before, there was decorum which said 'if you want to marry a woman, you have to ask her father'." - Oh, so this was the nervosity about. Carlisle smiled pleasantly, looking at Seth who could barely speak. - "And since she doesn't have one and you're one of her best and oldest friends, I thought it will be the same if I ask you." - With that, Seth stood up with respect in his posture, looking at Carlisle. Just for the moment, Carlisle stood up as well. Truly, it couldn't look any funnier - a werewolf was asking a vampire, who was his girlfriend's best friend, to marry her on a fishing trip, when both of them were dressed utterly indecent for the occasion. But the effort Seth had was the thing to cherish and appreciate.

"So, Carlisle Cullen, I would like to ask you if you give me your blessing to marry your best friend Y/N. I swear that I'll take care of her, that I'll cherish her until the rest of my days, and that no-one will ever be more important for me than her. And I swear to do so until I stop breathing." - The boy was muttering the promises above his breath. This was just as ridiculous as it was cute. First off, Carlisle got why he was asking him for permission, but Carlisle wasn't you. You were the one Seth should ask. And... It was also very outdated. Maybe Seth did just because you, yourself, were pretty old and he just wanted to honor it. - "Of course you can marry her, Seth." - Carlisle answered. At first, it almost seemed to be a mocking answer - yet that was forgotten as the vampire opened his arms for the man. - "Welcome to the family." - Carlisle said to him silently, hugging him for a second.

If Carlisle would think about it from a few points of view, you were a part of the family. Maybe something like his sister, someone, who did all the crazy things with his children. That was exactly who you were. But for now, Carlisle accepted the role. Which one? The one in which he was responsible for you. The only thing he hoped was that you won't kill anyone until the moment the said responsibility will be given to Seth. He didn't want to chat with Aro that much.

The rest of the trip was just lovely - Seth taught Carlisle some pro tips the shifter was taught by Harry, he showed the vampire everything with a nasty smile and talked most of the time. This was the man Carlisle knew. Now, he was grown up, but it was still the same one. When they rode back to Sam's house, everyone was doing just fine - both you and Esme had your faces covered in wild splashes of colors and eyeshadows. - "What happened here?" - Seth kissed your cheek and carried Emily one bag of fish he and Carlisle caught. - "We were just painting with Sakari, Elijah, and Flo. The kids enjoyed themselves." - Esme said with a big smile. - "I'm supposed to be a princess." - You said. Well, one of your eyes looked that you got punched and your nose was covered with red and yellow stripes. Seth looked at you, trying to see something. - "Of course, you are." - The man whispered, even if there was not a single thing which would remind him of a princess.

Normally, Seth shifted every two weeks - since you were alone and he got hold on your smell and presence pretty easily, it wasn't that hard to figure out how to lower the number of shifting. But now, there were three more vampires. Even Jake and Sam had to change into their wolf formes when Cullens left the city. When Seth knew he'll have to take his pause in the woods, you planned to go on a hunt, so you would be both occupied during the otherwise lonely day when the house was empty.

As you both thought, over time and practice, the smells soon stopped to bother as much as they did at the beginning. Sure, it was whole two years, but over time, you barely registered it was there. And the less you could smell it, the less you smelled it as Sam's, Jake's, or at Ateara's, where you started to go quite often as well. Just when Seth was taking one of his long baths after a wolf weekend, you were sitting on the bed with an old laptop on your thighs, going through some job offers in La Push or near it. Little did you know that your man had a surprise for you - and it was a big one. Which you realized when he climbed out of the hot tub while having a big-ass grin on his face. You already knew that one. - "What?" - You mumbled without looking away from the screen, reading through the advertisements by an eyebrow-raising speed. - "Do you have some time now?" - The man asked while drying his hair with a towel, walking around only in another towel on his waist. Usually, it meant just the thing that was on your mind, but not this time.

Oh, dear Lord, you still had vividly in your mind what happened the first time... The 'thing' happened. The evening was more or less one long foreplay - a long walk on the beach, roses, and candles when you came back to the house, romantic music to get the mood on... It was magical, it sure was. And it worked for you. With a smile, you let the man kiss you and make you sure that this was the night you'll make things official. After a year of worries and excuses, you decided to be brave and to trust him. Seth was sure you won't hurt him... But just when you were in the best part, you've heard something crack. First, you thought it was the bed, but as soon as you saw Seth in utter pain, you realized it was not the wood. While having another panic attack, you drove him to the hospital and with tears in your eyes. Once more, you were in the hysterical state and the whole time, your voice was cracking.

What the fuck have you done? How could you even break his bones during something like sex? It took him a long time of making compromises, dates, and patience to make you sure it will be okay if you guys just... It was natural to make love. But no matter how hard you teased him about breaking his bones during the act, you never thought it will be true. Well, you were the one to blame since you didn't hold back, but... Seth told you over and over again that he's "durable" and "indestructible" and you, being the dumb schmuck, believed him. Voila, there you were with Seth having one of his ribs broken. How did that happen, you had no idea - but you barely let him kiss you for a few months after that.

He thought it was just a funny story - and everyone else in La Push thought so as well. But you were too afraid to hurt him by accident again. Sure, his rib was fine after not even a month, yet... What could you break next? His back? Pelvis? Jaw? No way in hell this young man was laying his palms on you anytime soon. Over time, he talked you down for trying it again - resolving in nothing more than a bumped wrist. But at least, nothing was broken this time. Slowly, you found your way how to do it without hurting him on accident. And ever since, it was both fun and exciting each time. Yet now, you were surfing the web and didn't look up from the laptop. - "I'm not in the mood today." - You muttered and bit your bottom lip, reading another advertisement.

"Did I even suggest something?" - Seth wondered, still looking down on you. With an uptight expression, you pointed at him walking around it nothing but a towel before turning back to the laptop once more. - "I've just climbed out of the tub, you're reckless today, I tell you that. Damn. What's stressing you out, hm?" - Carefully, the man sat next to your legs, glancing over the screen. - "I'm looking over the job offers in La Push, but the nearest jobs I'm interested in are in Port Angeles. I don't wanna drive an hour and a half back every damn day. Not that I sleep... But you catch my drift." - You explained shortly, smoothing his shoulder while still clicking through different offers. You were almost at the end of the page... Fuck.

"Luckily for you, ma'am, I got you a present." - Seth slowly closed the laptop with a smug smile. - "But you'll have to dress before we can go." - With that, his palm gently smacked your upper thigh as he picked himself up from the bed. - "What does this have to do with job offers?" - But now, Seth had his lips sealed - he only shook his head so you could be sure he ain't telling you a thing. Jesus, he could be so secretive at times. With a groan, you did pick yourself up from the bed and took out one of the old pairs of jeans and one of the flannel shirts you've stolen him over the time. - "It's raining there, so, take a coat or something." - Seth advised you with a smile, dressing up as well. It gave you a lot of pain not to roll your eyes, yet your lips copied him, curving into a smile.

Sometimes, you could forget the basic human things, as you called it. Yes, you were doing your best, but there were still things you ignored. Like heavy rain, for example. It wasn't that unusual to find you in cold, heavy rain in the raging storm... Just being on a hike in a t-shirt and shorts. That could give some older people the creeps. So even if you were one of the more percipient vampires, there were moments like these. - "On it. Try to hurry up." - You winked back. - "Oh, and we're taking my car." - Seth cried out after you. When you furrowed at him, he laughed loudly. - "No way in hell you're riding when I am the one who has a surprise. You'd be ruining the suspense." - The man swiftly smacked your ass, letting you walk to his car. The man himself ran out of the door with a childish smile on his life just moments after you, starting the old Rabbit with excited shivers. You'd swear that you never have seen him being so overjoyed with something. He was in good mood all the damn time, but this was... A little scary, even for you.

He drove closer to La Push downtown - this town had barely some downtown. It was more like houses spread along the local road in woods, where the trees were sparse - ended up with a beach. The First Beach, to be particular. Maybe the most visited place in the whole town was the local market - by both the locals and the tourists coming from Forks. That was it. That's why you loved La Push. It wasn't hectic, everyone knew everyone here, it was one big family - the grandpas of the people living there knew each other since they were toddling around in diapers. That was the level of how much the people knew each other.

Seth's old Rabbit stopped in front of one of the houses near the First Beach. You could hear the waves crashing into the sand, the seagulls were shouting and all the trees were... Creaking in under the strength of the wind. The house itself was small and it sure as hell needed some care. - "Well, come on." - Seth bit his lower lips and jumped out of the car, making sure you fit under his umbrella as well. - "What are we doing here?" - You mumbled as he led you to the front door. The house. Why did you get an uncertain feeling that the surprise was somehow connected to the house? With a smile of a small boy, he fished out the keys wrapped with a small bow, rising them enough to ring them in the wind. You accepted the keys, still not sure about what you were doing there.

With fear in your expression, you unlocked the door and walked inside. It was in a worse state from the inside than from the outside. It was a miracle the house was still standing. As you looked all over the place, it was obvious that whoever was owning the house before Seth bought it, they left it a long time ago. The paint was falling off the walls, the floors were dusty, the windows were broken... The electricity didn't work anymore for God knew how long and there was some strange stench in the air. - "So, what do you... Think?" - Seth asked as he watched you walk around the room uptightly, with your throat dry. How much did he spend on this house? And why didn't he save the money... You didn't know, maybe for a new car? - "I don't know what we'll be doing here? Do you want to move out of Harry's house?" - You wondered quietly because you didn't like the idea of moving out of the Clearwater family house. You got used to the house and you loved it. It was filled with history, family love, and the overall good feeling.

Yet Seth didn't give up so easily - he shook his head frantically and looked past you. - "Listen, we'll have a lot of work here, for sure, but I thought that here, you can have a small waiting room. And reception? I don't know. And here, we'll build a wall, so there can be the surgery room?" - With that, he put his both palms on his hips, leaving out a sigh. It took you a moment before you realized why did Seth buy the small house by the beach. Suddenly, you breather in as your brain connected two dots. - "You want me to start a vet office here?" - With that, you ran to Seth just to hug him, almost bringing him down to the ground. Happy sounds were coming out of your mouth the whole time, which was the only thing that made him realize how you're feeling. - "Oh my God." - When you let him go, you wandered around the old house once more, now imagining where will you be putting the things. It was his time to do the main reason he dragged you to the ruin.

"There can be cute posters of animals... Do you know which ones I mean? And flowers. A whole lot of them. A bowl of sweets for the kids who come with their hamster or guinea piggies, right here, in the receptionist's table. Seth, I love you so much." - You turned at your boyfriend with a big even a bigger smile as you went to hug him - but you turned to Seth on one knee. Your eyes widened in surprise and suddenly, you couldn't talk or do anything else. Your mouth hung open as you stared at him. - "What are you doing?" - You whispered with a small hint of hysteria in your voice before shutting off completely.

For a second, Seth was watching you with his warm, brown eyes before he rose one of his corners to smile at you. It was happening. It was... You weren't dreaming. - "Y/N Y/L/N, it's almost two years since the moment you came to fulfill your promise. And not even for a second, I thought that you weren't the one for me. Ever since... Ever since you moved in, it was the happiest time of my life. When I think of you, I can't wait just to be with you, in your arms again, my heart feels warm and safe... Every day, I can't wait to just to hear from you and be with you. And because of all those reasons and a whole lot more which I can barely express in words. I want to ask you, with the blessing of your best friend, if you'd make me the happiest man on the earth. Will you marry me?"

Yet even when he was done with the speech, you were still standing in front of him and panicked internally, while still having your mouth opened and eyes widened. You hadn't moved an inch - you became a statue. No words were coming to your mind, you didn't move, you did barely breathe. It was a complete shutdown. Of course, you wanted to jump at him and say you will marry him. There was no possibility that you'd refuse his proposal. - "Is everything okay?" - Seth picked himself up from kneeling on the dirty floor, slowly closing the small box. With a shy, hurt smile the man approached you and smoothed your face. - "It's okay if you don't want to. If it's too soon... I just felt that it's the right time, but it was just my feeling." - Now, you threw him off the rails too. Great. Just great. While he was rambling, you finally managed to wake yourself up and answer the question. Your palm found his as you looked him in the eyes.

"Of course I will." - You whispered into his chaotic words. At first, it almost seemed he couldn't hear you, but then you both stared back at each other in silence. - "Of course." - You smiled and palmed both his jaws. - "Seth, you're the best thing that happened to me. I know I'm confusing and difficult at times, but you can put up with all of that. You've accepted me for who I am, even when you had to wait for twenty years. I've never felt home nor I've belonged anywhere in this world. You've changed that." - You've cried out when he picked you up so suddenly you forgot how to breathe.

There was a second when you both observed the ring on your left hand, just before you sneakily led your palm on his jacket, pulling him down for a kiss. Before he realized you're undressing him, it was too late, and to be honest, he didn't want you to stop doing whatever you were about to do. - "Didn't you say you're not in the mood?" - A short whisper filled the room as you almost tore your raincoat off you. - "Oh, shut up." - You answered back, laughing with happiness.

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malleus-maledicarum · 3 years

Text

Consciousness hits Dorian like a stone suddenly, tho he can barely tell as his eyes open to pure darkness.

And in that darkness he lays for a moment, gathering his bearings. Before too long objects start shifting into view; familiar objects. It hits him again This is his room. It's unmistakable. The desk with his collectibles, the wardrobe, the window overlooking the yard though right now the curtains were closed. He was home. But...how? What was this? A dream? Did...

His questioning is cut off by the door opening a crack to let a slice of light to cut into the room. Faintly, there's the sound of music coming from downstairs.

Whether by compulsion, or curiosity....or worse, fear, he cautiously heads to the door to follow the music. The house is empty, no signs of anyone having come through recently

More than that the halls feel Strange Still his house, absolutely but.... They're off. As if everything was moved an inch to the left. And all the portraits are blank, empty voids where paintings once lived.

And were the hallways always this winding? It feels like it takes forever to reach the stairs, as if walking a maze. His hand grips the banister in a feeble attempt to ground himself.

The music is closer, a grand sweeping melody that honestly sounds like something his Mother would request played. Suppose that makes sense then that the music seems to be coming from their entertaining room.

Through the closed double doors he can see passing shadows that interrupt the light in the cracks. Were his parents throwing a party and didn't inform him? That was odd but...surely he had studying to do? Honestly so many details were hazy right now.

Curiosity once again getting the better of him, he pushes the door open ever so slightly to catch a glimpse inside. The room is much larger than he remembered it, too large to even fit the house. Lights dot the room, almost making everything blur with an ethereal glow. Masked shapes elegantly dance amongst each other, perfectly in tune with the band.

It's almost like a dream. And he realizes, that's because it is. The fact becomes clear when he sees a very specific figure mingling in the crowd.

Holding the hands of a faceless figure is Karver, who turns and catches Dorian's gaze.

"Oh there you are!" He detaches himself from the dancer, who stands perfectly still and watching them. Karver pays them no mind. "I was hoping you would find me, come in come in! You've never visited my home have you? Here, dance with me while we talk"

Dorian cannot get a word or protest in edgewise as Karver grabs his hand and pulls him into the swaying fray of bodies. All he can feel is confusion and indignation as Karver takes the lead position, resting a hand on his hip and pushing him around like a broom.

Getting his bearings, Dorian attempts and fails to stop the waltz and just goes along with it until he can exit the dream. "So it's your fault I'm here. Typical. Wh- what is this place? You're "home"? What does that mean?"

Karver chuckles, dipping him and quickly snatching him back up. "Did you expect me to just live in the emptiness of that little head of yours? Of course not. During my imprisonment, I've managed to create a respite while I finish up my work. Lovely, isn't it?"

The room spins around them, streaks of colors and shapes. Vague in every sense, it's impossible to make out any details Except Dorian strains his neck, swearing he sees someone familiar but Karver just keeps them moving. "I wanted to have a discussion with you, Dori. Try and reach an understanding."

Dorian cringes at the nickname "Absolutely not. In every sense. I'm done listening to you. All you have to say is poisonous drivel and I'm beyond fed up with it."

"Okay. Yes, alright I've been...less than kind to you." His hand sweeps out and quickly pulls Dorian back in holding him almost intimately close. "Even tonight I've said some less than cordial things to you. I'm realizing I've been going about this the wrong way."

This takes him aback. Karver has never once shown any signs of empathy or kindness in the entire time they've been together. Rarely to others and certainly never to him. Dorian stares into the eyes of his disease for...well anything. Hints of lying, mockery. Anything to make this make sense. "You...Have made my life more of a hell than it already was." His tone is cold, doing its best at indifference.

Karver's expression furrows, a tinge of annoyance, but he plays it off. "Your life was never that bad. Anyways. Yes. I've been cruel to you. It's for that reason I want to make amends. Make the transition easier."

"Transition?"

"Yes, for when I take over the body. You see-"

At that sentiment, Dorian finally rips himself from the dance and firmly plants his stance to glade daggers into his double.

The room falls silent and the figures stand perfectly still.

"You. Are not taking over, do you understand me you fucking plague.?"

With a sigh, Karver steps forward. His face looks the closest to sympathetic Dorian has ever seen. "You're getting weaker, Dorian. You were already so...weak. So small. You were barely able to survive childhood. Even now, you're losing your fight. Each dose grows more ineffective as your serum does its work, as I do my work." He steps closer Dorian takes another step back. "You made me-"

"I did NOT. You are a failed experiment and the WORST side effect-"

"YOU. Made. Me. You wanted a total overhaul. A full body and mental enhancement. You. wanted everything better."

They continue their perfectly in sync walk, one following the other, until Dorian feels his back hit the wall. Karver poses himself over him, all but trapping him in their conversation.

"You wanted everything fixed, you wanted to perfect yourself, and my Detested I'm sorry to tell you there was simply too much to fix." His hand reaches up to gently tuck a lock of hair behind Dorian's ear.

The man finds himself frozen, memories of that night filling his vision. The injection The awful feeling the night after followed by a few nights of feeling wonderful. The first time he heard Karver's voice. The voice that continues to lecture him.

"There was simply too much work to do, and I think on some level you recognize that don't you? You were never fast or strong. Not even head of your class. It tried, your little mixture truly did...but the only option left was to start from scratch."

When did Karver get this close? When did he wrap his hand around his in such a tender embrace? Intimacy alone was foreign to Dorian, but from his disease it was baffling. "I am your cure. I am the solution you asked for. But I know...how terrifying this must actually be for you. Trust me, I know how bleak nothing is. I could have made the process less painful, but my anger got the better of me. I want to remedy that now, and offer you a choice."

"A..A...." Words fail him. He's backed against a wall by his greatest enemy in such a passionate embrace, speaking to him in a way he's never experienced before "A choice?"

"Keep fighting. Succumb tired and afraid, losing potentially every aspect of yourself...or. Come willingly." Now Karver is cradling Dorian's face.

"Let me assimilate you by your own choice, complete the transition, and not only do you go with some dignity and grace but who knows? Maybe some traces of you will remain! The best parts of you accentuating my already superior attributes."

And there it was. The confused look on Dorian's face contorts into pure horror. Karver is looking at him with full sincerity, his voice so gentle and calm. As if this was a good ultimatum.

"Y-you." Dorian is practically shaking. "You're asking me whether I wish to be murdered or EUTHANIZED?"

"If you have to put such ugly terms on it...yes. Go peacefully or go down swinging but regardless Dorian, you are going to succumb. You pushed the needle in, your inferior body created me to replace you, the least I could do is offer you some mercy-"

"Mercy??" He scoffs, attempting to wrench his hand free. "You call this MERCY? Asking me to give up EVERYTHING to you, my whole life thrown away for someone else to live!"

"Oh please you were barely living your life. The crime they pinned on you aside, you had the social skills of a thorn bush. You couldn't even make a friend with the one person willing to talk to you. You were nothing and even if you get rid of me you will go back to being nothing."

Ouch. That's why the face looked familiar. Dorian looks back out into the crowd, now realizing the perfectly still figures were all people they knew And sure enough among them was Douglas. Masked, but undeniable.

"You...why is he here...?" His voice is a whisper. "Did...you make him?"

Karver follows Dorian's gaze and is silent for a moment. "...He was brilliant. And talented. He would have done amazing things. Then because of you, all that was taken away. This is more evidence. All you do is break things. You were a runt of a child and have grown into a failure of a man. Once replaced, maybe this body will be put to use."

"I...That was NOT my fault." A strange new fire he'd never felt rose in his stomach. "I am TRYING. And yes. I fuck up. But that is part of living. I'm...I'm going to swt things right. I'm going to survive. They're going to help me find my cure, and you will be such a forgotten memory even I won't remember your putrid name."

Karver is silent for a long while, studying Dorian closely. He seems to come to some sort of decision and sighs closely before stepping very close to him. "I want it known...I offered peace. And from here on out you will be treated as a tumor. And I am going to have you cut. Out. Dorian Rathmore. I tried being civil."

Without warning, his teeth were in Dorian's neck. Pain shot through him and he could feel blood dripping down Karver's mouth.

He sat upright suddenly. And a smile spread across Karver's face. After penning a letter and having it sent to the inn, he set off With newfound purpose and a new deal to make.

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faeofheart · 3 years

Text

STUDY : JAMIE ADAIR ( JAMIE SITHEACH O’FAOLAIN )

BASICS.

IS YOUR MUSE TALL / SHORT / AVERAGE?

jamie is way taller than you’d ever expect. jamie has the energy of someone who’s rather small and meek but surprisingly? jamie is 6′4. they’re... very tall.

ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT?

yes and no? most of the time jamie doesn’t particularly think about it, but sometimes they wish they weren’t so... noticeable?

WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE?

it’s about to their shoulders now, maybe a little bit longer, though it depends on how tight their curls are at any given moment. it’s very soft on account of how much time and work they put into it, and is a deep mahogany or copper. in dim lighting it may seem just brown, but any amount of light on it and you can see the copper tones throughout. it may even seem metallic, with how shimmery it is.

DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR / GROOMING?

definitely. curly hair takes a lot of work to maintain, and they are diligent about keeping up on shaving when it comes to any unwanted facial or body hair.

DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE / WHAT OTHERS THINK?

absolutely. jamie would be reluctant to admit it but he’s a pretty vain person. and they have a bit of anxiety surrounding how people perceive them, especially in regards to his fashion choices, given that they’re not exactly.... traditional

PREFERENCES.

INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? indoors.

RAIN OR SUNSHINE? sun

FOREST OR BEACH? forest x100.

PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? gems (less likely to have iron)

FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? flowers.

PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? personality.

BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? alone.

ORDER OR ANARCHY? anarchy

PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? painful truths.

SCIENCE OR MAGIC? both.

PEACE OR CONFLICT? peace.

NIGHT OR DAY? night.

DUSK OR DAWN? dusk.

WARMTH OR COLD? warmth.

MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS? a few friends.

READING OR PLAYING A GAME? playing a game.

QUESTIONNAIRE.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS?

snap judgements of other people, pride and arrogance ( and the inability to admit to them ), ascribing human morality to inhuman creatures, holding grudges, quick tempers, in general a sense of denial.

HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM?

jamie’s mother died when they were 15, and its shaped how jamie views death in general. they’re not all that willing to talk to people in regards to what their childhood was like, and struggle a lot with the idea that they’re functionally immortal and will, in all likelihood, have to watch everyone he loves die at some point.

WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS?

much of jamie’s childhood was spent in and out of the hospital and doctors office, but most of jamie’s happier memories are spent with his mother and sister. baking pies, listening to stories, learning gaelige...

IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL?

no. jamie has a very strong sense of empathy, to the point it actually holds him back from exploring their full potential. however, if someone were to threaten those that jamie cares about ( or claims as Theirs ) they’re less likely to hold back and lash out. also the longer jamie lives and the more time jamie spends with other fey, the more they grow to accept their violent urges. in enough time, he will (for better or for worse) become more comfortable with casual violence like other fey, and that does include killing. but even then, it’s never something they do lightly. it always is for a purpose, never unprovoked ( even if the “provocation” is simply because they’re part of a Wild Hunt )

WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN?

honestly? it... hasn’t really happened? so i’m not entirely sure. a true jamie breakdown is likely one that’s not out of sadness but more out of anger. less breaking down, more snapping. regardless of what is happening though, it’s exceedingly unlikely that it won’t result with accidental unrestrained magic.

IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE?

yes and no. blind trust amongst the fey is suicidal, and though jamie is very trusting ( well... jamie is much more likely to trust someone with their body than they are with their past, and their deeper emotions ) they’ve learned over time that if you must trust someone, be aware of what they can do with that trust. here’s an example:

jamie trusts brock ( @fuckingvictus ) with his life. and what i mean by that is... were jamie and brock to go a faerie revel, or into one of the courts, jamie trusts brock not to kill him and not to allow jamie be killed by another. however, jamie isn’t ignorant and they’re not a fool. trusting brock with his life does not mean he trusts brock with their safety. they trust brock not to let jamie die but they don’t trust brock not to allow harm come to them. not only that, but jamie is aware that brock at some point may be the one to hurt him -- that at some point he probably will. it is, in all likelihood, not a malicious or malevolent thing, it’s just in brock’s nature. jamie is also aware that if saving him would be so inconvenient that benefits of keeping him alive don’t outweigh the risks or inconviences of savng him, and no oath or promise has been made... that brock would let him die.

so yes. jamie is capable of trusting someone with their life, if we mean “i trust that this person will not allow me to die unless its too inconvenient to protect me, or will result in them dying instead.” they just don’t trust people with their safety.

( that said, it depends in this regard too. depending on how well he knows a person, he may allow themself to be more vulnerable and less careful (but never careless) in how they are with a person if they believe that the person wouldn’t find it worth it to use that to their advantage. it’s all very complicated because trust amongst the fey is.... complicated )

WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE?

jamie’s family on their father’s side all have some... animal that they’re tied to. his sister and (late) grandfather are foxes, their father is a wolf, and jamie is both wolf but also that of a deer. what this means is that jamie on some level has the desire to form a pack, or herd. and jamie can be very territorial. not in a jealous way, but more that... if someone were to threaten a person that jamie has, on some level, claimed as His, then he will get aggressively protective, even if he may not necessarily want to be. if jamie’s in love, that person will most certainly be theirs, and by virtue of being their “mate” he will also be even more protective over them and it may be important to set boundaries, because while jamie tries to keep control of these more fey-like urges, it’s not... always something they’re aware of.

outside of that, though, jamie is in general a very affectionate person. they love to cuddle, laying on someone, draping over their shoulder, playing with your hair, giving gifts and more. they’re not always that great at using words to express it, but you can expect quiet and gentle conversations. with someone he loves, jamie is less likely to hide himself -- for example, if in a time where jamie is king of the autumn court and their lover is human, jamie would be less inclined to mask their human tendencies around their partner (whereas ordinarily in this situation, they’d have hidden most of their human mannerisms to fit into the court easier). in a situation such as now, where jamie is still largely human and coming to terms of who and what they are, then jamie is less likely to hide their more fey like mannerisms, especially their mischief and sense of playfulness.

TAGGED BY STOLEN FROM i stole this months ago

TAGGING : anyone who wants to steal!

#🍀 | we taste and feel and see the truth ❞ ( headcanons. )

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perspective-series · 5 years

Text

Vampire Perspective (10/17)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Unwanted touching

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

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“Alrighty!” Patton announced, entering the relative safety of his bedroom. Thankfully he hadn’t run into Virgil in the kitchen, or it would have been difficult to explain the paints in his arms...and the borrower in his pocket.

Patton set down the paints on the floor, the box next to it, and then Roman next to that. “So, how do you want to do this?”

“Well...I guess squeezing a bit of paint out onto a plate or something would help me to access it better.” Roman pointed out. “And if you hand me one of the brushes I can make my own.”

Patton did as Roman asked, squirting a few colors onto a paper plate and handing the borrower a paint brush several times his own length.

Roman went over and cut off some fibers of the end. He then used a discarded string from his bag and wrapped it around the top, creating a makeshift brush. It was reminiscent of the one he had back at home. “That should work.” He said, more to himself than to Patton.

“Do you want any help?” Patton asked, feeling a bit in a painting mood himself.

Roman bit his lip. “Ah, I-I don’t know. Your brush strokes would be too big for ah, for what I had planned…”

“What’s your plan then?” Patton laid on his stomach, eager to watch the borrower work.

Roman shifted, a bit uncomfortable at having such a large being watch him. “Er, I was going to start with a few stars and constellations that I know of.” Thanks to Logan, of course.

“Maybe I can help.” Patton perked up. “I love the stars!” Afterall, stargazing was one of the more pleasant nocturnal activities. Virgil sometimes even joined him.

“How?” Roman asked, not meeting Patton’s eyes. The change in behavior was still making him suspicious.

“Well, if you’re worried about the constellations being correct I can advise you, although sometimes they change a bit and I forget what they’re like this century.” Patton hummed. “Ooh! Or if you just want to look at them yourself, we can always go outside. The roof is wonderful for stargazing.”

Roman groaned, shutting his eyes tight. “I don’t get it…”

Patton paused, not understanding. “Don’t get...what?”

“You!” Roman shouted, pointing. He pulled at his hair. “First you were nice, then you were mean and now you’re all sunshine and rainbows again. How-how am I supposed to feel about this? When I’m still terrified that you’re going to…” Roman shook his head, running his hands down his face.

“Wait, what?” Patton flinched, his own expression turning a bit horrified. “Roman, you’re still scared of that?”

Roman looked to Patton. “What do you expect after what happened yesterday? But not even that really matters. I’ve always been scared.” Roman didn’t think he would have to explain that to Patton but here he was.

Patton felt himself deflating at that. “You...you have?” Had all of his efforts been in vain then?”

Roman sighed, looking at the vampire almost sadly. “I don’t know what you expect from me, Patton. I really, really don’t.”

“I just want you to feel safe!” Patton insisted. “I’ve been trying my best to make you feel comfortable and get you good food and keep my instincts under control, and I know I slipped up yesterday but...I thought before that we were really making progress, kiddo.”

“Patton...I know your reasoning is that you’re keeping me safe. I get that. But maybe try looking at all this through my point of view.” Roman took in a deep breath. “I’m trapped here. As you said, until the day I die. I can never see my best friend again. I can never really be free or have the freedom to explore because you’ll always be there watching me. My life as I knew it, is over.”

Patton shifted a bit, looking uncomfortable. “I...yeah, I know that. But I mean...okay, this is going to sound terrible, but I knew you were miserable. It’s kind of obvious you hate me. But I didn’t know you were still scared of me.”

Roman nodded, still not looking at Patton. “Honestly? It’s not even the fact that you’re a vampire. Not really. Yeah, it adds to the scariness but...even if you weren’t a blood sucking creature of the night, you would still hold just as much power over me.” He sighed. “I’m helpless against you and I always will be. The fact that you can do whatever you want...and have...is what scares me the most.”

“Oh.” Patton seemed actually surprised by this response. “I...um, oh.” He took a moment to process this, feeling a bit puzzled. On the one hand, Roman was viewing him almost like a normal human being again, which felt great. On the other hand, Roman was clearly terrified of human beings.

Patton traced an indeterminate shape on the floor with his finger. “Yes, I suppose I can see how that can be scary. No wonder you didn’t want Thomas seeing you.”

“Yeah...humans are a danger to us for those exact reasons. Really, in that regard, you aren’t anything special. I’d be just as scared if you were a human. Added bonus of you being a vampire is getting to fear if you’ll give into your instincts and eat me.” Roman explained, giving himself a hug.

“Okay, okay.” Patton took a deep breath, steadying himself. “So, in that case...what can I do?” He now wished more than ever to sink into the floor and make himself less frightening.

“You already made it clear you won’t let me go.” Roman said, glancing back towards Patton. “I guess...if I’m still being forced to stay here...I’d like to stop feeling like a pet.”

“What?” Patton’s jaw dropped, feeling a horrible sinking in his chest. “I- Roman, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that at all, I promise you!”

“Maybe not, but I do. That’s just what happens to people of my size. But...to fix it, I want more of a say in everything. And I mean everything.”

“Absolutely.” Patton immediately agreed.

“I mean it, Patton.” Roman said once again. “Everything. Meaning I get a say in everywhere I go, if and when you can pick me up, where I sleep, just everything.” He paused. “Except for going home…” Since that was still apparently off the table.

Patton took a moment to consider this. Roman was asking a lot, but he seemed to have finally accepted that here was safest for him. If Roman was willing to stick around, Patton had to be willing to trust he would stay.

“Okay.” Patton nodded firmly. “Just- I think you should stay in my room. Unless we go out. I don’t want you wandering around where Virgil could find you when I’m not there. Is...is that okay?”

“...Fine.” Roman could at least understand the reasoning for that. He didn’t really want to run into Virgil either. “So...we have a deal then? You’ll listen to me on everything else?”

“I’ll...try.” Patton relented. “I mean, it’ll take some getting used to, and things might come up that are unsafe, but I understand that I need to trust you too. After all, you want to be safe just as much as I want to keep you safe.”

“Right.” Roman supposed that was the best he was going to get in this situation. “And Patton, this doesn’t mean I’m just immediately not scared of you anymore, I hope you know that. It’s gonna take...time.” Roman didn’t mention how he might never not be scared.

“Yes, I understand.” Patton sighed. Unfortunately it seemed they would need more time to adjust than Patton had hoped.

“Good...good, then I guess we have an arrangement.” Roman shifted awkwardly. “Quick question, though, is there a way to...prevent your instinct for taking over, like last night? What was so different from last night to any other day?”

“Um...I hadn’t eaten in a while.” Patton sheepishly admitted. “I get worse when I don’t keep myself fed, but I was focusing more on you than going uh, out.”

“Well, that can’t happen. If this is going to work, you need to keep yourself properly fed. Don’t even go a day past what you are supposed to or however it works.” Roman bit his lip. “As long as you stay yourself...there’s a chance I’ll grow less scared in a shorter amount of time.” He wasn’t promising anything though.

“Okay.” Patton had never been so eager to feed in his life. Usually he didn’t care about keeping to a schedule (despite Virgil’s insistence) because it just made Patton feel...icky. And sad. He’d rather waste away for a couple days before drinking enough of a blood bag to do it all over again. But if he was serious about keeping Roman safe- which he was!- that wouldn’t cover it anymore.

“I promise, I’ll take care of myself.” Patton assured him. “I won’t miss a day again.”

Slowly, Roman felt the tension leave his shoulders. “Good.” He finally looked back down at his paints. “I suppose with that settled...some help would be nice.”

“In that case, what would you like me to do?” Patton asked. “I’m at your service.”

Roman’s lips twitched upward and he turned back to his canvas. “Well, for starters, you could tell me what Ursa Major looks like because I completely forgot.”

--------------------------------------

Patton was actually having fun, and for once it seemed Roman might be having fun too. Which is why it was a shame when Patton sensed the familiar light on the horizon.

“Oh, drat.” Patton sighed. “I’m afraid we’ll have to end here for the night, it’s nearly sunrise.”

Roman looked towards the window. “Oh…” He had actually found himself...enjoying this. Which was strange. “So...what does that mean for me?”

“What do you mean?” Patton asked. “I assume you’re tired too, we’ve been up all night.”

“Ah, well, I’ve never been one to need a lot of sleep and I wanted to keep painting a bit longer.” Roman said, turning back to the half-finished night sky. “Perhaps I could...stay out and finish while you go to bed? And then I’ll follow suit in a few hours?”

Patton blinked. The idea of Roman being out when he was asleep made him nervous… but he had to remember to trust Roman. Certainly it wouldn’t hurt to try. Especially since Patton knew he likely wouldn’t be able to fall asleep with this feeling of anxiety, and he could just keep a listen instead.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want, it sounds fine to me.” Patton agreed. “But maybe we should move all this stuff on top of the dresser while you work, so it’s out of the way and not on the floor when I wake up.”

Roman thought it over. “...Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” So he would be a bit higher, never stopped him before.

“Alright, then I’ll just move this over.” Patton carefully lifted up the box, cautious of the drying paint. He then lifted the paint plate and tubes of paint just in case. “Your turn.” Patton set his hand on the ground.

Roman stared at the hand but it was better than being grabbed with no warning, so he stepped on. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Patton smiled, giving Roman a lift to the dresser. This was actually quite pleasant. He hoped Roman was sincere about all this, and was planning on painting for just a little longer.

...Patton liked to be optimistic.

“Well, goodnight-er, I mean, good morning Patton.” Roman smiled, chuckling a little.

“Good morning, Roman.” Patton grinned, giving Roman a wave before climbing into his coffin.

Roman waved back, watching as Patton closed the coffin and the sun peeked through the window. He wanted to leave this moment but he knew he had to wait. Even just a few moments to be sure.

So, wait he did.

#vampire perspective #perspective series #vampire!patton #borrower!roman #part 10

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