Bruce, running his plan for an undercover operation past the batkids chillin in the living room while post-‘knowing secret identities’ Bernard is there: -and then we will hustle the information out during pool, start stakes low and give them a false sense of security before winning
Bruce: obviously Tim will do that part
Bernard: Tim sucks at pool tho? He can barely make any in and, hell, I made it into culinary school with how many times I was sent to the kitchen to shoot after he hit the cue ball in
Dick: Tim? Our Tim? The one who wins every time? Who was the cause of the rule in the mansion against us ever playing pool
Damien: such a baby, gets stabbed one too many times by sore losers and just has to ruin it for the rest of us
Duke: Tim has hustled all of us outta so much money that at this point it is a part time job for him
Bernard: ??? Tim never wins against me?
All turning to Tim:
Tim, face completely red: he- he always gets so excited when he is winning and he just looks so cute- and his trash talk is basically just flirty banter- and it’s not my fault when he looks like THAT
Tim, shrugging: he just has an unfair advantage over the rest of you, like maybe if any of you were attractive you would start winning pool more too
Jason: and he wonders why he’s been stabbed so many times
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Bruce: Robin is a fae, please don't take anything from him, don't give him your name, and I'm not liable if you get taken by the fae. *Leaves*
Everyone but kaldur and Wally: *nervous, especially zatanna*
Dick, holding a milkshake: here you go Walls.
Wally, about to grab it: thanks Rob— *zatanna slaps it out of his hands* hey!
Zatanna: didn't you just heard Batman!?
Wally: it doesn't apply to me I already gave him my name when I was six!
Zatanna: you gave the fae your name, at six!? And you took a gullible child's name
Wally: I wasn't gullible, he told me not to give him my name but I did because lore reasons!
Dick: it's true, I tried to warn him. *Gives Wally another milkshake*
Zatanna: what could have been so bad you gave ya name to a fae!
Wally, abused by his father so badly the stories of fae taking him didn't sound so bad: we don't have enough time to unpack all of that, *slurps milkshake*
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Raph Is A Great Strategist
Numerous times in the show Raph has shown to have a preference for straightforwardly punching his problems away rather than think up a more complex solution. Like how his immediate fix to getting Mayhem out of the mirror in Mystic Library was to punch everything in the bathroom but the mirror. However, when Raph understands the situation requires more in depth strategy, he’s shown to be an incredibly capable tactician.
(long post ahead!)
In nearly all the plot heavy episodes like Shadow of Evil, Many Unhappy Returns, and the season finales, Raph gets moments where he’s highlighted for his strategic thinking. In Insane in the Mama Train, he’s the one who figures out which eyeball-button goes to the front car with the dark armor, because “‘it was the only button [the Foot Clan] didn’t want me to press!’” [21:05]. He’s also the one who came up with the scheme to defeat all the (known) combatants in the train, with Leo specifically attributing Raph as the deviser during their mind meld [19:46]. In Many Unhappy Returns, after spending a single night waylaying the Shredder, Raph formulated a plan using all the tricks the team learned, seamlessly transitioning the mystic collar Leo acquired into it [19:53], to defeating the Shredder. Additionally, he’s repeatedly called for a retreat during fights, like in Shadow of Evil, Shreddy or Not (Finale pt 2), and the movie, when he can tactically recognize that a battle couldn’t be won. Each time, the show/movie implied that that was the right call, for the family to lose the fight but win the war.
And it’s not just that Raph is good at strategy when he’s pushed to be more serious; the show characterizes him as passionate about creating plans, he enjoys doing it. Literally in the first episode, Mystic Mayhem, after the turtles’ initial plan failed of getting Splinter out of the living room to touch his Do-Not-Touch Cabinet, Raph immediately started devising a new plan that involved “ten chickens [and] a gallon of rubber cement” [9:35]. It was convoluted, sure, and they didn’t end up using it, but it was inventive and the opposite of reluctant. This is also shown in Bug Busters, where Raph planned out dousing Mikey in honey to attract the oozequitoes [2:52]; Snow Day, with the idea to freeze Ghost Bear like in Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation 4; and Raph’s Ride-Along (and also Bad Hair Day), where Mind Raph created multiple schemes to get the criminals arrested. The show wouldn’t have made Raph be so creative with his plans if they were trying to characterize him as someone who didn’t like strategizing.
So does why Raph do stupid shit sometimes where he doesn’t think things through at all? Well, even though Raph is good at strategy and enjoys doing it, it’s clear his immediate impulse is still “punch the problem in the face”. In fact, all the turtle boys contain the fascinating dichotomy of being incredibly smart in some areas, and the dumbest teenagers alive in others. Just look at Donnie. It’s also how Raph is a loving protective older brother, and the guy who shoved Leo into a wall so hard he disappeared in one frame for shits and giggles (The Mutant Menace x). None of this means that Raph is bad at strategy though.
tldr: Yeah, Raph has a lot of dumb and, frankly, insane moments in the show, but he’s still an incredible tactician who’s plans consistently saved his family and sometimes the world. He's a great strategist.
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One day we’re gonna talk about how the only characters fully privy and accepting of queer characters in the actual canon of Stranger Things are Steve & Jonathan—
—and how it’s likely enough that (because of her proximity to both of them) Nancy is going to get a lesson on her own socialized expectations when both her ex and boyfriend are the ones educating her on acceptance of queer people as she finds out both her first female friend since Barb and her own brother are gay ☠️😂
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