#how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weilongfu · 1 year

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For the prompt ask.

I often wonder what would have happened if someone - anyone outside the Wen Clan remnants really knew what Wwx did to survive. Bad, good and horrific. The choices (forced and freely made), the sacrifices (necessary and unnecessarily martyring) and the pain (owed and foolishly owned). I keep thinking about Empathy and how if it had been to show someone - anyone what Wwx truly was before everything went to shit after Sun Shot. Not Lwj. That seems too easy. Maybe Lan Qiren or Jiang Cheng. To see them fight their prejudices with Wwx's perspective. To see some things confirmed and some things shattered. Bonus points if Wwx is against it (which he totally would be) or it is necessary for saving his life (which someone needs to do if he can't be bothered).

Even if you don't do this prompt, I am excited to read what you create. Have fun.

I'll be honest and say I wasn't entirely sure I'd be up to the task of filling this prompt. But I decided to try and I hope you enjoy this result.

-----

"Uncle." Lan Qiren did not need to turn around to know Lan Wangji had been the one to enter his room. "Wei Wuxian is awake."

Lan Qiren nodded, but still did not turn to face his nephew. "The treatment worked then. Good." The silence that followed his answer was louder than expected, but Lan Qiren could hear his own thoughts louder still.

"I will go then."

"Wangji." The sound of footsteps stilled. "I... will be along later to make sure there are no ill effects."

"Hn." The footsteps resumed and Lan Qiren was left once more with his thoughts.

-----

Wei Wuxian was no stranger to wounds, pain, curses, or even death. But even he could not foresee or anticipate some of the things demonic cultivation would be used for after his death, especially by those with far fewer scruples than himself.

He would later call it a lucky shot, that his new core, still young in it's cultivation, could not manifest enough power to resist and defend against such a wicked spell which trapped him in a maze of his darkest moments. Lan Wangji had not been nearly as affected, but lacked the focus to free Wei Wuxian until the Night Hunt had ended, and by then Wei Wuxian had sunk too deep into the mire of the spell and his own mind.

It took a joint effort of Lan Wangji, Lan Qiren, and even Lan Xichen, torn away from his solitary meditation, to traverse the branched and forked paths of the maze within Wei Wuxian's mind through the use of Empathy.

Lan Wangji had strode onward, undaunted by the darkness, for he had known it, seen it, accepted it. The deepest darkness did not stain Wei Wuxian in Lan Wangji's eyes. He had seen the truth, he had known what was at stake, what Wei Wuxian had sacrificed and paid, and so the darkness parted ways for his light.

Lan Xichen had been forced to reflect upon the past he saw and the past he had been told before the paths opened before him. And in those truths he found a mirror of the person he had lost. Lan Xichen shed no tears as he walked, but in his wake, newer memories of growth and renewal blossomed, changing the maze.

Lan Qiren had the hardest task, a wall that was nearly impossible for him to scale.

"But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on. I, too, know what I should and shouldn’t do. I believe that I’ll be able to control it as well."

This memory alone stopped Lan Qiren cold and he could find no other path open to him.

"Right and wrong, praise and blame... What is right and wrong is clearly written." But the wall cared not for Lan Qiren's arguments, instead showing him impossible choices.

"Neither choice is right," Lan Qiren argued. "One should not select either."

This answer was also rejected and Lan Qiren was shown another moment, a price paid.

"A promise given, a promise kept."

Next came the abandonment, the loneliness, the will to protect those who had no power, those who had been forsaken.

"Evil means to a righteous end."

The wall changed again.

"Do you think me fool or simply stubborn?" Lan Qiren scoffed. "There is naught that you can show me to change my mind. I come to do my duty to my nephew. I come to pay respect to one who saved my life. No more."

The wall changed one last time.

This time, Lan Qiren looked away and had no retort. After another beat, the wall opened and allowed Lan Qiren to walk forward and deeper into the maze, but by then, his path was no more than a way out for Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen as they emerged dragging forward the mind of Wei Wuxian until the wall Lan Qiren had labored to open shut behind them.

After that, it was an easy task to revisit Wei Wuxian's most recent memories to find any drugs or poisons he might have been given before his unconscious state and reverse them.

------

Night had fallen and the entirety of the Cloud Recesses was soon to sleep. At such an odd hour, Lan Wangji answered the door to find his uncle. With wordless grace, Lan Wangji motioned for Lan Qiren to enter and directed him to a sitting room where Wei Wuxian, sprawled out across an entire couch by himself, quickly pushed his jar of liquor behind a pillow.

"I would speak with him alone," Lan Qiren said firmly. Lan Wangji said nothing but turned his gaze to Wei Wuxian who simply smiled and waved him off. Lan Wangji nodded to them both and closed the door behind him.

"To what do I owe the honor, Teacher Lan?"

"You know what it is that I saw."

"I do." Wei Wuxian retrieved his jar of liquor and resumed his drinking despite the expression on Lan Qiren's face. "I trust that Teacher Lan has much to say on the subject for there is no other reason why you would come to see me this late." Wei Wuxian took a contemplative sip. "Or rather at all."

"Mind your tongue."

"Death has a way of loosening lips. Please forgive me, Teacher Lan." Wei Wuxian raised his liquor in a toast to Lan Qiren. "And allow me to thank you for your aid."

"Wangji has taught you manners."

"I have always had manners, Teacher Lan." Wei Wuxian's eyes were sharp despite the haze of liquor. "A proper gentleman and cultivator will always have manners. But I am a discerning cultivator. The ones who deserve my respect and manner will always receive it. Those who do not, will not."

"Do you think to look down on me?"

"I dare not." Another sip. "I look down upon the rigidity with which you stand."

"Insolent."

"No, no, irreverent."

"You sit there, learning the error of your ways, learning that you could not then control what you dared to create, that even now you cannot control what others do with it, and you think you can still be irreverent? You think you can still determine right and wrong?"

"When the Wen clan called themselves the leaders of all cultivation, they decided what was right and wrong. When the Jin clan took over, they too, decided whatever they wished was right and wrong." Wei Wuxian set down his liquor. "And for all your morals, for all that was written, you too, chose to follow what they said was right and wrong instead of what you knew was right and wrong." Wei Wuxian adjusted himself and sat properly. "So then why do you have the right to determine what is right and wrong? Why then, when you follow others so readily, do you get to judge the one who does not? My irreverence is not for right or wrong, it is for they who claim to know better, but choose to let others decide for them."

"I decide based on the rules."

"The rules that another person wrote how many years ago, Teacher Lan?"

Lan Qiren could feel his blood pressure rise. "Talking to you was a fool's errand."

"It is not the solitary man who often makes mistakes in judgement," Wei Wuxian said as he picked up his liquor again. "For sometimes he sees with eyes unclouded by the dust the majority kicks up."

"Empty prose is not a defense."

"Submission to another is also not a defense." His face turning red, Lan Qiren could bear it no longer and he turned to leave. "You wavered for a moment at the end," Wei Wuxian called out, causing Lan Qiren to go still. "I saw, as Lan-er-ge pulled me out of the maze, the doubt on your face. Why did you doubt yourself at that moment?"

"I saw your memory," Lan Qiren replied after a moment. "Trying to bring life where there was only death with those, like you, consigned to death alone."

Wei Wuxian nodded. "But was that not what you expected? A deranged man stealing away with prisoners of war to do such unspeakable things? Or was the light of truth too harsh?"

"...it was bright enough."

Wei Wuxian nodded once more. "So, Teacher Lan, who was right and who was wrong in that instance?" Lan Qiren said nothing and resumed his exit. "I thank you, Teacher Lan, for your instruction this evening. I hope that you, too, learned something tonight."

Lan Qiren nodded stiffly as his nephew opened the door and escorted him out.

"Uncle."

"I will be meditating for a while on some matters, Wangji." Lan Qiren, once more, did not meet his nephew's gaze. "I will ask you to handle a few matters in the interim until I am satisfied."

"Yes, uncle."

"And..." Lan Qiren's hands clenched and unclenched within his sleeves. "Tell me where you got the jars of liquor for Wei Wuxian." Lan Wangji's expression did not change, but he produced a slip of paper for his uncle and handed it to him. "Good night, Wangji."

"Good night."

#mo dao zu shi #the untamed #prompt spam new year

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readingwritingcrying · 4 years

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Deaged!LWJ PART ONE

@winchesterstarkstrange sent me a message and asked: Can you please write anything with Deaged Lan Zhan because there aren't many fics on that genre? It's just there are many WWX centric or whump fics but only very limited on LWJ. WWX taking care of Deaged!LWJ with a little angst of him missing his mother would make an amazing fic.

I did my best! Also, this ended up being longer than I thought, and I wanted to post something so I’m splitting it up. The next chapter will deal with Lan Zhan missing his mother and how they get him back to normal. This is the first time I’ve written for this fandom and my first attempt at this kind of fic so I hope it’s okay so far!

The night hunt was supposed to be a simple one. But then again, with Wei Ying when had anything ever been so easy?

There had been rumors of something haunting a forest not too far outside of Cloud Recess. A mischievous tree ghost was what the villagers who lived near the forest were calling it – although, Wei Ying would bet against that classification.

Really, it would have been a perfect hunt to sent the Juniors of the Lan Clan, if they weren’t already away, they had thought at first. Someone else could have easily gone, but he had been feeling restless, so upon hearing of the trouble, Wei Ying quickly found a way to stick his nose into it, volunteering him and Hanguang-Jun to sort out the issue that rural part of Gusu.

His cultivation partner didn’t protest, even at Lan Xichen’s curious raise of an eyebrow. Upon seeing how Lan Zhan had been looking at Wei Ying, he had easily agreed. Wei Ying tried to follow Lan Xichen’s gaze to try and glimpse what emotion was portrayed that had made him agree so easily. Before he was able to, Lan Zhan’s face was put carefully back together.

He knew Lan Zhan was afraid he felt trapped sometimes. Briefly, Wei Ying wondered if it was that.

Now that they had encountered this… thing Wei Ying was thanking fate that it was them handling this instead of the Juniors. If A-Yuan had to be here…

Wei Ying pushed the thought out of his head, dodging an attack, moving behind Lan Zhan as he sliced Bichen through the air, briefly knocking the creature back. Wei Ying wasn’t sure what it was, to be honest. They’d barely seen it even as it attacked, and the people who lived there weren’t sure how it could have come to be. It creaked and crashed and groaned like an old tree in a storm but was fast and clever. It had seen them first, attacked them before they were expecting to run into it.

He needed to get away from the fight. Without being able to use Suibian he wasn’t strong enough to hold it off with his own strength. He needed to be out of the way enough to get a chance to use Chenqing. HE looked to Lan Zan, and they shared a nod – he understood.

Lan Zhan lunged forward at the same time as Wei Ying flew back, landing on the branch of a tree, able to view the struggle from above. Quickly, he pulled his dizi to his lips, feeling the pull of resentful energy.

To his surprise, the creature attacking Lan Zhan stilled, pausing at his song and allowing Bichen to finally hit its target. The creature snapped out of the trance Wei Ying had seemed to put him in.

Resentful energy swirled around it, called to Chenqing’s song. He channeled all of his energy into the song. He was making things up on the fly now. They’d never fought something quite like this. Lan Zhan was already wounded.

IF he could continue to draw out the resentful energy, put it under his power, he could keep control of it briefly. Even though the creature seemed to be able to fight without the corrupted energy – did it have another source as well? – Wei Ying thought it would be enough to weaken it and allow Lan Zhan to end it. It had to be enough...

Black clouded his vision, swirling around him. He could feel just how much it was taking out of him, could feel the taste of iron in the back of his throat, but he paid it no mind.

He heard metal collide with something solid, and then light pierced the demonic energy around him.

Lan Zhan had done it.

Of course, he did, Wei Ying thought with a smile. HE relaxed, knowing that Lan Zhan at least was safe, and allowed himself to succumb to exhaustion. He felt the all too familiar feeling of falling before there was nothing.

…

Wei Ying woke to the sounds of muffled sobs. They were high pitched and terrified, reminding him of A-Yuan when he would have a nightmare.

But he wasn’t in the burial mounds. He opened his eyes, despite the ache in his head. Sun was shining the trees. He also wasn’t in Cloud Recess.

“Lan Zhan?” He called softly, sitting up.

Ouch.

His body felt tender and bruised, and his back stung when he sat up. His last memory was on a tree branch, so that was… understandable. He wiped his face, brushing off the blood that had dried on it.

The sobbing stopped as soon as he spoke. To his left was a young child – 5? Maybe younger? – who looked nearly familiar.

His face was red and covered in tear tracks, long hair messed up with pieces of twigs and leaves stuck in it. He was wearing what seemed like a blanket but on further inspections actually seemed to be someone’s much larger inner robes. And… and a Lan clan headband.”Lan Zhan?”

The child looked up at him, lower lip trembling nervously. “How do you know my name? Who are you?”

Oh, fuck no.

“You’re Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying confirmed.

The child nodded his head. “Mn.”

Did… did whatever they were fighting do this? Wei Ying was worried. If so, he had no idea how he could barely remember the ending of the fight. He hadn’t ever heard of anything like this happening before!

A few sniffles pulled his attention away from his anxious thoughts.

Lan Zhan had started crying again. Though it was different now then when Lan Zhan was his normal age, any version of him in pain broke Wei Ying’s heart. He couldn’t have that.

“Shh, Lan Zhan, it’s okay. I’m going to help you, alright?” Wei Ying cooed, scooting closer but not touching the frightened child. He wasn’t sure how he would react to touch – he hated it so much when he first met him at the lectures, after all. “What’s happened since you ended up in this forest?”

Lan Zhan tried to collect himself. The kid looked frustrated as if scolding himself for his own emotions and Wei Ying’s heart ached a bit. He said nothing though, allowing the child a few moments. “I found you hurt. It was night. Can you… can you help me get back?”

Lan Zhan’s eyes peered up at him, large and trusting and still shining from the tears that had spilled over. Ah, he was too cute a kid. He talked more, too! Wei Ying nodded, smiling brightly as if it would somehow catch onto Lan Zhan’s soft face. “Of course I will!” He reassured.

Lan Zhan seemed to think about this, still hesitant.

“I’m Wei Ying. I also live at Cloud Recess, so I can definitely help you,” he smiles. Lan Zhan looks down quickly from his smile as if it wasn’t something he wasn’t allowed to see. Still, the child Lan Zhan seemed calmed by knowing this, especially as he caught sight of Wei Ying’s Jade pendant tied to his belt.

Wei Ying noticed the gaze and didn’t comment. It had been a while before he had gotten his own – for a long while, he was content with relying on Lan Zhan to let him in and out of the Cloud Recess. But once they had married (and wow every time even thought those words he was filled with excitement) he had been gifted his own.

He suspected that he could have gotten his hands on one earlier, but he never focused on it. He understood why a young Lan Zhan might find it comforting to see on a stranger. At least this child version of him knew he was trusted by his family even if the full situation couldn’t be explained to him.

Wei Ying pushed himself to his feet, letting out an uncomfortable groan as he did. He tested himself, stretching slightly and shifting his weight. He was sore, definitely bruised, but it didn’t seem like anything severe. That at least was a good stroke of luck. Certainly, Wei Ying had been in worse positions.

“We need to get you some proper clothes,” Wei Ying asserted. Lan Zhan’s eyes widened, ears turned red with embarrassment at his situation.

“Wei Ying, I apologize! I don’t know how…” He was quick to apologize, and even as a child he was so formal.

“No,” Wei Ying stopped his apology. “Some situation happened with a night hunt, it’s hard to explain, but you don’t need to say sorry. You don’t need to say sorry when you haven’t done anything wrong.” He found himself repeating familiar words, like the ones Jiang Fengmain had said to him as a child. Taking Lan Zhan’s meek nod as a sign, he figured it had done the job.

Now, he just had to figure out how to solve the situation at hand. They weren’t too far from a relatively large village, and it wouldn’t be hard to stop by and purchase simple clothes for Lan Zhan to wear.

Especially with the older Lan Zhan’s money. How he would explain why a child as old as he was wrapped in a large robe instead of his own clothes… Well, it wouldn’t make much sense, but he doubted anyone would be rude enough to refuse him.

He wasn’t above twirling Chenqing about in his free hand if they were. Anyways, it was unlikely for that to happen.

With that course set, Wei Ying nodded to himself and looked down at Lan Zhan, standing nervously by his legs, gripping his older self’s pale blue robes. Wei Ying squatted, stretching out his arms. He was met with wide, suspicious eyes.

After a few seconds, Wei Ying sighed. “Are you going to drag that nice outer robe on the ground, or will you let me carry you?”

Little Lan Zhan considered this, eyebrows scrunching. “No.”

Wei Ying could feel his eyes roll. “Lan Zhan, be good. It’s that or walk into town without clothes!” The child’s ear’s reddened.

Finally, he shook his head. “Do it.”

Carefully scooping up the young boy in his arms, he made sure to wrap the robes snuggly. Once they got back, they might be wrinkled, but at least there didn’t seem to be any bad stains. He could never understand why the whole of the Lan Clan insisted on such light-colored clothing. Not only did the white robes really look like they were all in mourning, but he pitied those who would have to spend their time trying to maintain their pureness. Especially of the younger, more lively disciples.

Carrying Lan Zhan, the trip took longer to get back into town, but at least he didn’t seem to want to ask too many questions. When Wei Ying spared a glance down, his face was tucked into his robes, eyes sleepily blinking as he stared up at the trees.

“If you’re tired, you can sleep,” He suggested. “Even if it’s not nine, you did stay up to help me. You can rest.”

After a brief silence, Lan Zhan replied. “Mn,” He said, shifting in Wei Ying’s arms.

He was grateful Lan Zhan encouraged him to work on his arm strength even without being able to wield a sword. If he hadn’t done all those handstands, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold him steady for so long. His hips were too slim to let some of the child’s weight rest on it, bet seeing him fall asleep made him determined not to wake him again.

Even if this wasn’t his Lan Zhan, he couldn’t help but feel protective. Or maybe, Wei Ying thought, it was because he was seeing him like this. He was usually so strong, but at the moment, he doubted that he would be able to take on a single ghost.

The sun was overhead by the time they finally arrived at the village. “Lan Zhan,” he said softly, shifting the child in his arms.”It’s time to wake up.”

Golden eyes slowly blinked open, and his peaceful face turned quickly to a pout. “It’s time to get some clothes, so don’t look at me like that!”

Wei Ying walks speedily to the first merchant he sees selling clothes. They’re nice enough, even if it doesn’t seem like the selection of things Lan Zhan would normally like.

“Excuse me, do you have anything that might fit my… my son?” He could feel Lan Zhan’s eyes stare him down in alarm at the lie. “His got ruined playing out in the woods,” he tried to explain, receiving an odd look from the merchant. “Right?” He nodded towards Lan Zhan who quickly agreed with him.

Looking Wei Ying over, the man seemed to decide he was dressed nicely enough to have money, regardless of what strange circumstances had brought them there.

The merchant gestured them over to clothes small enough to fit Lan Zhan. There weren’t very many in comparison, but Wei Ying was just relieved to find any. He didn’t want to search around and attract more attention than necessary.

“Lan Zhan,” He said in a low voice, careful not to let the name be overheard, “Why don’t you point to the one you want? It doesn’t matter which, you can get you proper robes once we return to Cloud Recess, right?”

Wei Ying watched Lan Zhan slowly asses his choices. HE expected the child to simply point to the plainest one but to his surprise, he pointed to a blue that was still light, but certainly more bright than he’d ever expected to see an older Lan Zhan wear. Well, except for in one case, where he knew Lan Zhan was going to be dressed in red, but that was a very different situation

Nodding, he picked the underlayers quickly, and holding both those and the outer robe that Lan Zhan picked out, he waved over to the shop keeper.

“Ah! Excellent choices,” the man said, full of disingenuous enthusiasm. Wei Ying smiled at him politely and handed him payment - probably more than necessary, but at least it made the interaction quick and painless.

With a little fuss, Wei Ying managed to help Lan Zhan dress properly and his larger robes packed in a bag tied to his belt.

They set off on the road towards Cloud Recess. They would have to stop at another town for the night, but it wouldn’t take much longer then.

They walked together in silence for about half an hour. He wasn’t sure what to say to a younger Lan Zhan that wouldn’t confuse the child more than he already must be. Still, he didn’t seem to mind, following behind him obediently, sticking close to him and far from any strangers.

He couldn’t imagine him, or even his brother for that matter, being so quiet and shy as a kid.

Unfortunately, things couldn’t stay simple for that long. “Wei Ying?”

“Hm?” He looks down to see an almost tearful child staring at him, hands clutched in nervous, shaking fists.

“Are you going to punish me?”

Suddenly, he couldn’t find words. What did he think he could have possibly done?

“Why would I do that?”

Lan Zhan sniffled. “I lied to the shop owner,” he explained pitifully.

“Lan Zhan!” He exclaimed, wincing when his loud voice seemed to scare him more. “Lan Zhan, I was the one who lied. And I know you don’t want to lie, but sometimes… sometimes if it’s for a good reason, it’s okay.” He knelt down as he said this, taking the boy’s white fists in his own, gently uncurling the tiny palms.

“Like for example, if you were caught by bad guys and they asked you about important secrets, you could lie and say you don’t know, right?” Wei Ying asked, looking Lan Zhan in his eyes.

The child took a watery breath but seemed to calm as Wei Ying comforted him. “That makes sense,” he agreed.

Wei Ying nodded. “Of course it does. Besides, I won’t punish you for anything anyways. I caused way too much trouble when I was younger for that,” he smiles impishly. Lan Zhan pulls his hands away.

“Following the rules is important,” he says seriously.

“Mn, of course,” Wei Ying agrees without much thought. He pats Lan Zhan on the head as he stands to full height again. “But still, I won’t.” He tried to keep his voice carefree as to not upset him again.

His silence before might have scared little Lan Zhan, and he needs to keep the anger he feels from slipping into his voice and doing more damage. After all, how could someone let such a shy kid like him be afraid of being punished? It was Wei Ying anyways who lied.

No wonder Lan Zhan had been so strict when they had first met…

“Can I ask you a question then?” the boy interrupted Wei Ying’s thoughts.

“Go ahead,” he agreed easily.

“Why can’t you ride the sword back?” Lan Zhan asked. Wei Ying nearly fell on his face from surprise.

“A-ah… Well, this sword isn’t mine,” he replied weakly.

“...Where’s yours?”

Wei Ying looked away. “Ah, Lan Zhan, it’s not too far anyway, so why not walk?”

While the child didn’t seem very convinced, he was polite enough not to press further. Still, every time he glanced over, he could see the curiosity wrestling with politeness on Lan Zhan’s small face. Eventually, he sighed. It’s not like the older Lan Zhan didn’t already know, after all.

“Fine, fine. A long time ago I had a golden core,” he started. Lan Zhan sped up his pace to be right at his side, listening intently. “I… my brother’s got taken away. He’s my younger brother and I…,” he gulped. “I gave mine to him. I can use talismans and this,” he let his hand stroke over the polished surface of his flute, “but I can’t use a sword. I just need to return this one to a friend.”

Explaining even that much makes his chest feel tight like his throat was about to close up. Luckily, it seemed to be enough of an answer to satisfy Lan Zhan.

“I have a brother,” he comments, with all the innocence of a child. “Lan Huan. He protects me,” Lan Zhan states.

Wei Ying smiles. Lan Zhan is really too adorable as a kid. “Mh, he’s very brave!”

“I think Wei Ying is brave for protecting his brother,” replied Lan Zhan earnestly.

The soft sound of shoes on the dirt road and silk rubbing against silk were the only things that filled the air for a long pause. “Thank you, Lan Zhan.”

#cql #cql fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #lan zhan #deaged lan zhan #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan wanji #lwj #wwx #h/c #whump #fic #wangxian #aaa im always nervous writing new things #also if i made any mistakes lemme know #this being a story set in ancient china im a bit unfamiliar with it all

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