#how most of my mornings go

[herbaklava]

soul’s truth/ego/support

#how most of my mornings go #i think this might be my new favorite deck #daily reading #tarot

[becca-e-barnes]

Bucky pinning you down so you can’t squirm and he’s just sitting inside you while he tortures your clit feeling you clench around him. He makes you cum over and over until he finally cums.

Overstimulation + super soldier stamina = …

- 🍯

Dear God, I know I just don't have it in me to behave during cock-warming. When it comes down to it, I genuinely have no patience at all 😵‍💫

"You..." Bucky begins, pressing you down onto the bed before gripping your ankles and forcing you to flip over onto your front. "Have a problem with control."

With your face turned away from him, you can't help but smile to yourself. No one has ever said it out loud but you know he's right.

Being in control is where you're most comfortable. No hands are safer than your own. Except maybe his. You know he won't fuck this up.

"And you..." He continues, gathering your wrists behind your back, holding them tightly with one hand. "Need to learn how it feels to have control taken from you. Do you understand?"

As soon as you begin to nod your head, you feel him start to tape around your wrists, holding them together behind your back. Once he's content they're secure, he sits on the edge of the bed, facing the mirror before he pulls you onto his lap.

"Legs spread over the top of mine." He orders and you do as you're told, not because you have to but because you want to.

You notice the way your cunt is already glistening in the mirror and you're almost embarrassed because he hasn't even touched you yet.

"Fuck, you're made for this." He groans, lining his cock up to your slick entrance and you wonder if he's holding his breath too while he slides into you, as deep as your bodies will allow.

You're obsessed with the sight in front of you; your own naked body, with your legs spread so far apart you can see how your cunt is stuffed full of him.

Being shorter though, your feet can't touch the ground like this. There's no way you'll get enough leverage to fuck yourself on him but as soon as you start to tell him that, he silences you with two thick fingers between your lips.

"I'm not letting you fuck me." His free hand roams over your body, squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples and then settling between your spread thighs.

"I'm going to play with you. I'm going to see how much you can take. I'm going to work out exactly how you like your clit stroked and I'm going to do that until your legs are shaking and your body won't let you cum any more. Maybe then I'll fuck you but sweetheart, that will be hours from now." His breath is hot against the side of your face, his fingers slipping from your mouth to your waist while he starts to flick gently against your clit.

"I'm going to start slowly. I'm going to do everything I can to drag this out as long as possible. I can feel every clench and flutter of this pretty little cunt and I'm going to enjoy it until you're dripping over my balls." At this rate, it won't be long until you're dripping onto the carpet, never mind over him. You dreamed he'd want to take control like this but you never imagined the way your body would respond.

"And then, when you've cum more times than you can handle, I'm going to tell you that I love you while I fuck you like I don't."

Update: Part 2

#asks answered <3 #becca writes spice #🍯 anon #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #dom!bucky #I think this might be one of my favourites that I've written recently #That last line has been my go - to fantasy this week #it's come into my head every morning when I'm walking to the train #and I planned to write an exploration of it today #but you know #I like it just left there like that for now #I've spent most of my free time trying to book a mid-week city break #but I don't know where to start #I got a new piercing this week and I love it!! #but I was in work on Friday talking about it #and our graphic designer asked how many piercings I had #so I told him I have 8. So 3 in each ear #and the expression on his face was just pure maths #he didn’t question it lmao

[mattodore]

theo’s bedroom is slowly coming together

#river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #after the save broke yesterday morning for the fourth! time i finally pulled up mod manager and started looking through the hundreds of #conflicts i apparently had and also deleted well over 500+ duplicates... my mods folder is SO rancid i'm sure i missed some conflicts #bc see those dark blue pillows on theo's bed? those are actually white :) but for some reason when i move the pillows near the wall they #change color depending on the time of day... it's not just those pillows some other objects do it too... just closing my eyes at it <3 #the bed and desk are where theo spends most of his time so i spent forever on them. his bed needed to be overwhelmed by stuff #there are... ten pillows i believe two large covers a sheet and a blanket. theo kind of just... burrows into the center and hides. #bunny boy behavior........ and yeah those are matthias's gloves on theo's desk <3 #i have to recolor the stuff on theo's walls later. i imagine his walls are mostly empty and it's just the floors in his apt. that're messy #but i wanted sticky notes to help him remember things and that back wall is going to have matthias's art and love letters #<- which theo definitely takes down and hides whenever matthias actually comes over lmaoooo #also i finally moved all of the pins from theo and matthias's boards over to @theodoredoe (mattodore was taken 😞) #i wanted a place just for my oc boards and i also wanted to be able to add sections to each oc's boards so! new acc! #yk how i mentioned theo's board looking so cluttered? yeah so. figured out it's bc over half of his board is just quotes #i made a section and threw all the 200+ quotes in there and will slowly put some of them in his main board #his board just looks so much better now like i'm so happy about it 🥰 it was definitely worth the time #OH ALSO!!!! IF ANYONE HAS SOME DEAD PLANT CC PLEASEEEE SEND IT MY WAY!!!! #theo really loves just. ripping plants and flowers out of the ground and taking them home to put in little pots but. he always kills them #jsknndkhj so i need dead plants!! limp!! DEAD!!!! #but i seriously can't find any #anyway... that's my build update <3 fr not much has happened bc i've had to start over four :) separate :) times :) but it's getting there. #i miss mattodore tho...... gkhjndfkhjn so i might take a break and get some poses and an edit going soon

[raycatz]

I'm not including a situation where someone might be injured because in that case I'm thinking the bed goes to them by default or they are nominated for it. anyone who wants to be chatty goes to join the living room floor gang.

What are your thoughts and headcanons? Do you have thoughts on how the boys tend to approach assigning beds in inns? Who do the chain choose to sleep near when camping and why? What are their dynamics like when settling down for the night and getting ready for the day?

In "Mirror Vs Open Closet Door: Fight!" by Gintrinsic (here) Four refers to the chain's decision on how to split up between inn rooms as the "Link-per-room ratio" which I find very funny. He, Sky, and Time also talk about their thought process behind why they do or don't want to sleep in a room with some of the others which I find fun and interesting.

So! If you have thoughts and want to share them! *gestures to the post!*

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #alrighty! now for my answers- #for the ranch question I think it varies which is why I'm asking in a poll. What do you think happens most often though? #each answer is a fun scenario so it's difficult to choose #but I think they'd try to act politely around Malon and Time for the first couple visits with straws or rock paper scissors #or showing generosity by offering the bed to someone else. (I bet Malon saying they're charming is quite the incentive #for more possible compliments. The chain as a whole would want to prove her right xD ) #Once they're more comfortable in the house though I can totally see Wind and Legend making a mad dash for it while Wars yells after them xD #Wind probably ends up sharing with Four a lot since they're the littles #or Wind snuggles in with Wars Legend Wild etc #Wild and Twi/Wolfie have claimed the spot on the floor by the fireplace. #For inn rooms / castle rooms / camping - I tend to group them by how they're grouped a lot already #but a lil mixed up #Time - Sky - Wars are the good rest trio. they want a good night's rest please let them get their beauty sleep. often joined by Four #Wars goes between this group and wherever Legend is depending on how chatty he is that night. #Twi - Wild - Hyrule are snuggle/proximity buddies #Legend is attached to Hyrule's hip or sets up near Warriors to gossip and gripe. I can also see him setting up near Wild #in the eye of the storm as it were or just an interesting place to be. Wild and Hyrule can get to chatting about everything and anything #so if Legend wants background noise (Hyrule and Wild podcast omg)- #or a conversation he can be half a part of and jump in and out of while getting ready for the night or in the mornings- #this is a good place to be. add Wind and things get a bit more chaotic. #Wind gravitates to Wars and Legend too when curious and chatty. He gravitates towards Time when he wants something calmer. #Four tends to be near Sky or Twi or to Legend's group for the same reasons #I can see Four and Twi having a little book club going during downtimes where they talk about what they're reading. Sky likes to listen. <3 #Wind thinks they're nerds but so is he and he can't resist a good story so he orbits and sometimes settles in and peppers questions. #it's funny that Time Sky and Wars want to sleep the most but Legend follows Wars to chat (and ends up bringing people with him xD ) #there could be some conflict there oooo #Twi is by Time #it's almost a circle but with clusters of sleeping bags near on top of each other and filling the gaps

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ON THE SUBJECT OF A MARCH 1ST UPDATE LIVESTREAM.

so due to newly-employed circumstances, i most likely won't be able to stream my exploration of the update until the Sunday after it drops - March 3rd, likely around 10 am pst.

im not gonna ask anyone to wait because that's unreasonable and absurd, However! I am curious:

#im asking instead of cancelling it outright #because i know how fun it can be to see someone explore/discover/watch something youve already enjoyed #plus. if i may so bold as to say! #who knows! maybe some of you actually Want to hear me speculate and go bonkers On Mic <3 #absolutely unprompted #marked for deletion #welcome home #Why Am I Waiting Until The Third? #it will most likely be my first day off! #i dont wanna explore the update when im exhausted after a 9 hour shift lmfao #and i don't want to explore it in the morning before work when im on a crunch #i want Time! i want Energy! im gonna need all the brainpower i can cobble together! #oh man the upcoming full day of Active Avoidance #i might actually turn off my phone lmfao #bc muscle memory is gonna take me to tumblr & That has burned me so many times... #im not gonna use tumblr im not gonna use discord #im gonna queue up youtube videos so that i dont risk seeing anything on the homepage #babey im Hunkering Down! #i will simply spend my free time after work with myself. crochet. doodle. sit and stare at a wall #sob viciously bc im missing out #its interesting. so much of my life has been Being Late To The Proverbial Party & Missing Out On Experiences. #and by interesting i mean it makes me violent. sigh. but we deal! what else is there to do!

[feral-peacock]

If Buck and Eddie don’t become canon Eddie should at least get to start smacking Buck’s ass in that "very hetero" way.

#SMACK HIS ASS EDDIE #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 abc #getting in the truck ass smack #getting out of the truck ass smack #going up the stairs ass smack #in the kitchen ass smack #good job on that call ass smack #passing behind you to get to the other side of the room ass smack #doing the dishes ass smack #I love how you love my son ass smack #good morning ass smack #good night ass smack #you’ve become one of the most important people in my life ass smack #I love you to the core ass smack #fuck me harder ass smack #feel free to add your own occasions for Eddie to smack bucks ass

[nettleparade]

oh right i forgot to post this here

#anyways! more 'the eyebrows are a scar/birthmark of some kind' headcanons #in my mind i think sanji might b the only crew member who actually spends ages fussing abt their appearance #ik most people would say nami takes the lead on that but tbh she seems more like a 'slap on mascara at most and GO' type of person #meanwhile sanji has a full makeup kit on standby + flat irons his hair at like 3:30 every single morning. dude's bangs are fried as all hel #nobody can take a piss break when they swap watch shifts in the early morning bc he's just In The Fucking Bathroom Always #tbh this is more an attempt at figuring out why sanji doesn't have his scar in the LA than anything else #but if im being real here idk how tf they work in canon either. this is the best i've got lmao #one piece #op #opla #one piece live action #sanji #one piece sanji #black leg sanji #illustration #artists on tumblr #nettillust #wip #art

[j-ellyfish]

«Even though we had no say in it ... I still hate it. The way I left you.» «But you came back last night. That is all I could ask for.» For @hetalia-rarepairweek Day 2 | Comfort

#spaus #aph austria #aph spain #hetalia #rarepairweek2023 #I feel like I always make Austria the most emotional one in my Spaus drawings so it was about time to give Spain a breakdown :D #so full context in case you're curious is - current days #they met during some European conference and one thing led to another and they ended up spending the night together in Austria's hotel room #the morning after though Spain woke up to a bit of a breakdown as he's reminded of their divorce and how they basically spent so much time #away from each other against their will and Spain feels partially guilty for having let it happen - even though de facto he couldn't really #do anything about it since HetaCountries are kinda like their governments' puppets in that sense #and obviously it hurts Roderich too but he's trying to comfort him because it's not like they ever have a real say in anything #ary makes art #this took me forever and I don't even like it much but I've stared at it way too long already so be it I'm gonna let it go

[chrollohearttags]

my cat just spent the past ten minutes making biscuits on me and then fell asleep in my spot 😭

#so now my bad knee is dangling from the bed and she’s just snoozing away #sksjsjs but I’m happy she’s comfortable bc she’s the one we’ve had the most trouble getting to interact #she’s super shy so for her to let me pet her and see her be so interactive makes me happy 🥹 #her name is pitou btw and yes I named her after the hxh chatacter #cherry chats 🍒 #that’s how my morning is going #gonna try to get some more sleep hopefully

[brehaaorgana]

People joke about ADHD all the time, even swear up and down they totally think they also have it, but then if you ask for an accommodation, to please please please provide things in fucking writing, EXACTLY what they want and need, you will even work it out WITH them, like they promised they would do — repeatedly over and over, and then you don't get it people really will fucking be like:

I am using the incorrect bathroom (TM) to place my shelving and store my things. Homegirl literally removed various sundries and toiletries from a CLOSED CABINET and SHELF because she's interested in boundaries and accountability for my mess.

I said months ago I wanted to improve things for her comfort level and needed a written list of what precisely that fucking looked like in order to achieve it and not miss anything she deemed important. I explained how ADHD works, why I needed a written reference. Why I had to have it laid out, and if something needed changing we needed to write it all out. I would've made the list myself, but they said they would make it for the whole house to hold up their end of things. And, thinking this was a very reasonable adult solution to keeping the house in good shape, I said okay, come up with the list of expectations and what is needed and that way we can update how we handle chores. Awesome. I will do that to uphold my end.

No list ever gets made or drafted or anything despite my bringing it up, knowing we need to do it, but I DO get berated for failing to meet expectations and boundaries that were never fucking provided or delivered and include "don't store toiletries in this particular bathroom because I don't like it."

I can't believe I am a goddamn adult who gets treated like an idiot child for expecting adult communication instead of snide ass passive aggressive bullshit and basic respect for my things.

Because when I fucking get home, my shelving has been removed and a cabinet emptied of my things and placed in the "correct" bathroom.

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Oh shit she solved it, this doesn't look cluttered at all!

What a vast improvement to storing things in appropriate storage!

#my mortal sins include a laundry basket in the kitchen which is where the laundry room is #doing something INCOMPREHENSIBLE to work with my adhd like use the downstairs bathroom to get ready in the morning #instead of the upstairs one because that works best for me and keeps me moving in the morning #storing hobby supplies i was using in the living room in a milk crate basket to clear space at night easily #i left an oil painting to dry on a tabletop easel on MY coffee table and she tried to clean it up causing some of the paint to come off #i used to keep an empty up placed on the mat next to the cat water fountain to remind me to fill up often #not a mess of cups not half emptied cups. a dedicated refill cup tucked behind the fountain #when it kept getting removed i switched it up and placed the cup on top of the cat food bin to clearly indicate it was a cat item #no this is UNACCEPTABLE #also all my coats were removed from the coat rack i feel insane #coats GO ON THE COAT RACK #have you ever had someone actively sabotage your tools to manage your adhd bc its not fun lol #'i can understand why it feels shocking now' literally the most vile snide snake shit when you didnt communicate boundaries at all #its not communicating an expectation to gather up my personal belongings and dump them somewhere else and then text me about it during work #this is how you know shes only ever lived with blood relatives before this lol the entitlement #adhd blogging

[redrobin-detective]

When yo man says he’s into the occult but can’t handle it when you wake up at 3am delivering cursed prophecies you later don’t remember 🙄

#true story #the early morning hours of halloween after attending a ghost tour and graveyard walk #(romantic and delightful) #I apparently sat up and started going on how Paul Imp was coming to trade places with my bf #and then promptly laid back down and was back to sleep #no real memory of 'waking up' but I do remember the drea #anyway he can have all the witchcraft books he wants #if he cant handle me at my most possessed than is he really into it?

[relaxxattack]

how come twitter hates knifetrick? i havent read it nor have i ever been involved in any mcyt or adjacent stuff btw

oh man. ok let me explain the story. it was around exactly a year ago the main bit of this shit happened actually

in 2020 minecraft roleplaying (mcrp) becomes super mainstream with the rise of dream smp. in these series, stories are scripted and then acted out live with some improv stuff

in the fandoms there is a LOT of drama over whether it's okay to ship the roleplay characters. there's lots of stances on this. in the beginning, most people say it's not okay to ever ship rp characters, because the youtubers usually just use their own persona as a base for an oc, so it's basically the same thing as shipping the youtubers together. shipping irl people is weird and gross, so nobody wants to do that.

in 2021 a couple of ships start getting confirmed as canon in the rp. characters date or get together or canonically have romantic scenes. this makes the fandom hurt itself in its confusion, because it doesnt understand if it's allowed to ship those characters together.

two guys have their characters literally get married and have a child. the fandom LOVED these characters, they were well written and cute and had a great dynamic. the fandom wanted to ship them and support their marriage so bad. BUT. they were played by real people. those real people (tubbo and ranboolive) were also minors at the time, who nobody wants to risk being weird about obviously.

the mainstream fandom decides that to solve this problem, they will pretend that the marriage is platonic, and ostracize and witch hunt anyone who claims it's not. they draw tons and tons of ship fanart of the two characters, all helpfully tagged as "platonic", sometimes tagging every single use of the word "husband" as platonic.

EVENTUALLY, people start realizing, hey wait, this is roleplay. it's fictional. the streamers are not actually traumatized war veterans who invented nukes, have amnesia, raised a child, are half hybrid alien etc etc etc.

in fact... it's actually really weird to try and make their roleplay relationship the same as their real life one. in the roleplay, they are married and have a kid and act lovey-dovey... why would you claim that's their real relationship? why would you conflate the two? can't we just understand that it's fictional?

most of the tumblr fandom, eventually, realizes that fictional characters and real human actors are not actually the same person. (it helps that the actors themselves state the same thing.)

the twitter fandom however... does not eventually realize this. they stay in their "platonic husband" hell, simultaneously being really weird about shipping and outwardly hating all shippers.

fastforward a bit, there's another mc roleplay series. it's a spinoff series of that first one we were talking about, and it's an athology series-- a whole bunch of oneshots with new characters each time. keep in mind, these characters are NOT EVEN RELATED TO THE STREAMER'S PERSONAS... they make up new ones each time!!

anyway they do one of the oneshots in a cool futuristic city and i was like "man it would be cool to write about this." one of the characters (ran) acts very weird and suspicious for the 5 lines he has total, which leads to a lot of silly theories about what he might be up to in this future city. i think, "man it would be fun to write about him." a different character (jackie) remarks on that character as well; jackie is also one of the only characters to live to the end of the oneshot.

ages after this oneshot was actually aired i thought to myself, what the hell, i'll write a story about ran and jackie. they have literally no existing personality and the futuristic city is not even remotely expanded on- i get to do all that myself!

so i write a comedy mystery action romance novel about an alien assassin (ran) assigned to kill the general of the city's army (jackie) while they try to find some kidnapped kids. keep in mind, i had basically nothing to work with for these characters-- they were side characters for a single episode from a spin-off series, they had around ten lines total. i got to make up basically everything about who they were and where they came from and what they would do myself. the story is also chock full of OCs, and all of the mechanics for the city itself were original and invented by me-- it was a huge labor of love and invention and original work.

the romance wasn't intended to be a whole thing, but honestly it felt very natural (and all the story's fans definitely wanted it), so it eventually happened.

surprising no one, the same twitter fans who believe that fictional characters are somehow LITERALLY the same as their actors started trying to tell me i was shipping real life people. (what? gross?). they told me i was being a bad fan by going against the wishes of irl people who didn't want to be shipped. they accused me of so much, of just trying to "hide" that i really shipped irl people, tons of things. but my story was not about irl people. the characters literally have different fucking names, appearances, personalities, dynamics... EVERYTHING.

twitter users eventually started a "cancellation" of me. i don't even use twitter. but anyway they dug up a bunch of weird innocuous comments or fanarts i had done before, and then pointed to knifetrick, and said i was secretly a gross person, that i was a guy who shipped gaming youtubers, etc. there was a thread about it, idk.

eventually the harassment in my inbox caused me to take a break from tumblr for several weeks. i actually wasn't sure if i would come back. HUNDREDS of people were talking about how terrible i was; people on twitter literally have me and my works in their goddamn dnis. it was such a surreal experience and it caused me so much anxiety.

eventually, several of my friends convinced me to finish the story, because really there was nothing all that wrong with it in the first place. i came back to tumblr.

i added the banner that is currently in my pinned to discourage gross shippers, or people who think *i* am a gross shipper, from coming near me anymore.

as far as i'm concerned, ran and jackie are my OCs. they were from a oneshot-- a oneshot that has not been MENTIONED by its creators for years now-- who i gave an entire story to. i don't want to associate with that fandom anymore, so i don't want the characters i worked so hard on associated either.

they still talk about me on twitter sometimes, kind of as an urban legend of drama. "holy shit you guys remember the knifetrick stuff? that was so gross, how did we let any of that happen. people kept defending it too 🤢". it doesn't bother me as much anymore, because i'm surrounded by people with the critical thinking skills to tell the difference between tom hanks and woody, but it's still sometimes surreal and hurtful.

don't take this as just me complaining though- making knifetrick was incredibly fun, and i still adore all the fans and memes and fanart to this day. you all were incredible and pretty much make those awful episodes worth it <3

in case you're wondering, the steamiest thing those characters did, that people were so upset about?

they shared a chaste peck of the lips for .2 seconds before one of them tried to kill the other.

#knifetrick #THE WHOLE THING SUMMED UP! ONCE AND FOR ALL! #sorry for going on for so goddamn long anon but you needed more context than just the story itself ToT #(slight ventish(?) ahead) #those were seriously the most anxiety inducing weeks of my whole life though. every morning when i woke up i wanted to puke. #i cant imagine what its like for big internet creators who get cancelled. i literally dont know how they survive it. #bkt

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

and thus begins the season of 100+ degree heat every single day...

#i will be digging a hole and crawling into it thanks. i will Cover myself with dirt and not come out #the sun is almost completely down and its still over a hundred out. sigh #~its the most wonderful time of the year~ #im placing personal bets whether or not itll hit 120 (im strongly betting Yes) #maybe i should go live in antarctica #vibe with penguins. get killed by a leopard seal. you know how it is #instead my options are: the dirt / walk off into the desert and perish #i wake up every morning miserable and sweaty <3 this is so fun <3 #so jealous of the puppets rn. they dont have to deal with this #put me on a temperature regulated set bois #my laptop: heat warning in effect #YEAH NO SHIT. HONEY. #gonna need to start using my ceiling fan soon just to get some fuckin Sleep #the ac is not enough during the day #absolutely unprompted #i was wondering 'oh why am i more irritated than normal why am i more fatigued than normal' #OH YEAH. BECAUSE ITS MISERABLE OUT. #melting into a puddle of bog... goo... that's just water. hm. #turning into an actual physical bog #sphagnum and tannins and everything #i wake up. i drag myself out of bed. i sit at my desk and dissolve. rinse and repeat #this has been my routine for Days now <3 #i hope yall are having a cooler more tolerable summer! #but given the absolute state of this planet uh! i doubt it! still! i have hope! keep cool guys

[raininyourblackeyes]

My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.

#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days #like mental health dead in mariana trench #and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with #but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them #she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story #and i was so surprised and exicted #that's actually a too mild description #and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh.. #and started texting someone #i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something #and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature #so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections #i do the art for her book covers #and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist #and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going #finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day #and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her #i left went home and started at a wall for hours #i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read #i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me #and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops

[sleepinglionhearts]

Did dishes 2 days in a row

AND cleaned the counters

AND cleaned the sink

I feel unstoppable. Tired. But unstoppable.

#wonder how long this like.. normal-person-level-of-energy thing will last #ok i say normal person but it's still... tired normal person #but that's pretty energetic for me!! #instead of having a daily spoon limit of say.. 10 spoons I've had 15 or perhaps on a REALLY good day 17 #and like yknow 8 of those spoons typically go towards being Functional At Work #ah.... but all that being said I've done the cleaning but now I'm not up to cooking dinner #consequences.... #OOOH and it makes me mad all over again about some dumb shit my brother said yesterday #i told him to get out of the kitchen bc he was STINKY after work that morning and I needed to prep the slow cooker #and i was NOT gonna do it with that smell hanging around so i told him again 'get out of my kitchen' #and that lil fucker said to me - the person who actually does the cooking and most of the thorough cleaning in there - that it's HIS kitchen #he's like “oo i pay the bills for the household” YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD THE HOUSE IS ALREADY PAID FOR AND YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF IT PROPER #ok. anyway. kitchen is nice and clean now. hehe

[munamania]

also ok maybe had a weird little freak moment yesterday :/ i was with lydia and needed to eat my godawful shitass sushi before going to the library so anyway who do i spot but the roommate with some random guy naturally and im like lydia pause i need to be a stalker but so casually for just like a sec. (this is in a downstairs like cafe/hallway/elevators area) so i stall and then we go to check for a free room to sit in and when there r ppl in it we just go back near the cafe area and theyre over in this little. alcove. of a sitting area. lounging. and im so normal and rlly naturally glanced over a couple times hoping to god the guy didnt see me cause luckily roommate was faced away. anyway. but lydias screenaging it up so im just sitting there awkwardly. and i have to walk past them at one point to get soy sauce to drown the sushi in and maybe that made me look like a weird little stalker too. well again this is if the guy even knows who i am and prob not so whatever its like fine. but like yeah and then i def saw them getting up and then on the elevator to leave so i think my skittish little creature tendencies scared off the vibe from across the room even... and i didnt just wave like a normal person bc i wasnt sure they saw me but we've spotted each other at much greater distances there's simply no way. i was treating them like what the kids call an 'opp' kinda... me when im an anxious little beast...

#and me when i type up a long paragraph abt like nothing happening! <3 #um. and i am overthinking and in my defense. ill lament one more time. HAVENT HAD MY ANXIETY MEDS IN DAYS. so plz be nice.. #and lydia joked abt how i was a little weird. which i was. but now im like fuckkkkk man we're never hanging out again... #they also went back to like one of my stories theyd seen this morning so its like wowwwwww so youre literally obsessed w me.. #anyway. still being so strong and leaving it to them to make a rain check plan if they wanna. and if not thats so hashtag chill #also ive barely seen sam this week which is like nice but i found out they last second saw the eclipse together #and again not that i think i would come up or w/e but i did have sam off my close friends for a while bc he was stressing me out. yk. #and im not sure if um... that would have become evident... doesnt actually matter who gaf #but yeah also naturally hes seeing one of the coolest most beautiful talented creative etc girls in the film major rn #on top of his little fuck buddy. and im not being a bitter little incel abt the fact that hes got bitches and i dont. #bc its like. whatever. too much going on rn to have bitches. tho ill stick to my guns in saying some good sex could fix me a little #yayyyy i love talking #abby talks