#i am not going to 100% this game because I hate the black deck so fucking much

[mokeonn]

I fucking hate the tetris effect so much. Like oooh lemme play this funnie little card game rogue-like, ooh it's so fun it's gonna be the only game I play for weeks now, oooh what do you mean I'm fucking duplicating multi-card holographic sevens in my dreams

#simon says #yeah this is about balatro #i think it sorta taught me that I do in fact really enjoy roguelikes and i am pretty decent at them #at least I think I am #i only have 3 more card decks to unlock and the black deck is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE #i am not going to 100% this game because I hate the black deck so fucking much #that -1 hand is gonna be the death of me and has been the death of me #it's like I either fumble my first round and have to start over because I keep forgetting I have 1 less hand #or I get a nice groove but lose around round 5 because the boss bind was too tough #anyways I only really watch 1 youtuber play it so I have no clue if im actually pretty decent at the game or if im like #okay or something #idk all I know is that I am going to do my damnedest to beat that black deck #also I wanna try to unlock all of the collection because it's very annoying that challenge mode doesn't count #and I wanna do challenge mode but it is just annoying that it doesn't count anything towards the collection #but yeah im REALLY vibing with this game and every time I play it while high it makes me wanna stream again #anyways I have it on switch (because I could use the nintendo coins to get it at a discount) but I looked at the achievements on steam #i wish cross platform saves existed because if I had it on steam I would have all but like 4 achievements lmaooo #anyways im just autistic and really like card games and roguelikes so this is like the perfect game #plus big number go up

[reddeadreference]

Blog Progress Update (Travel Blog Style 😎#13)

At Jack’s party 50 million things happen all at once I can't get everything X.x Susan and Karen are singing loudly, Hosea's saying something at the campfire, John and Abigail and talking about the three of them staying in the same room, now Micah's saying some story and Uncle has joined Karen and Susan in a song with Javier playing and NOW Molly is yelling at Dutch. 

It's too much!

Dutch just gave an ANGRY speech about faith and it got dark and thundery REAL QUICK. Like I get it game… the foreshadowing weather isn’t needed.

Mary-Beth is trying to get Karen to bed and Karen is throwing up. Mary-Beth gave up and Karen passed out on one of the bedrolls under Bill/Charle’s area. Never saw that before..

Kieran just came up to me staying how he'd be dead if he hadn't joined them and- I GET IT THUNDER AND LIGHTNING! BAD TIMES AHEAD!

Bill… Bill just decked Pearson... WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Here comes the rain..   Neat detail that when it rains people go inside the house. (like I know some sleep there now but Strauss still sleeps outside and he came in. Kieran was sleeping outside then came into the piano room to sleep too)

Saved Tilly. I love how this mission shows Grimshaw does care.

Ugh Strauss dude stop.. O-O this is the first mission where Arthur's started coughing like THAT and it HURTS

I can't find Kieran…. I'm not even anywhere near close to that mission yet! Where's my boy?!

Branwen is missing too.. no...

No... No no no... I JUST started chapter 4, he can't be gone yet! Are you kidding me?! Is he really gone from the start of the chapter?!I thought he’d be here for at least SOME of it…

Also would the ghosts of Lemoyne Raiders please stop yelling profanities…

Got robbed for $700 in Saint Denis cause I followed a guy down an alley (I figured he would rob me so I took out my knife. No chance to use it as someone hit me from behind.) Woke up in the cemetery, ran back, they're gone. 

Good thing I just fuckin saved. HAHA GOT EM! Oh if I see that guy again I'm just gonna shoot him on the spot wanted level be damned, that was $700.

-

Well… time to get cleaned up for Mary's mission because Arthur 100% would get cleaned up for her… shave, haircut, new clothes, bath at the saloon, sleep til noon. Ready to feel that heartbreak ..

"You could've cleaned yourself up a bit"

GIRL. DO YOU NOT SEE THE EFFORT I PUT INTO THIS?! I’M WEARING NORMAL SHOES! I GOT STUFF IN MY HAIR! I SHAVED!!

...Is it the hat? Is it cause I kept Arthur’s usual hat? I mean... he's average weight… He’s CLEAN.. There's no pleasing this woman…

"Theater? Me?" Bruh… we've been there over 10 times now, don't act like we haven't.

Oh as much as I hate the woman I love how happy she makes him look…

Idk if the same shows play for the date every time. Well it's a new speech by Al so I'm assuming yes. Yeah Robin is singing a new song so yeah. FIRE LADY (THIS is where her third act is damn it! I knew it happened at some point) Maybe now I'll be able to do that mystery thing now since I’ve seen every act at least once

The look on his face T-T I can’t...

(Gif made by me)

Alright I’m getting all optional stuff done that I can first, met Charles twice… am I allowed to show Female Presenting Nipple if it’s art? I’ll probably get flagged… oh well, we’ll see when we see. I met with Professor Andrew Bell the 3rd and as much as I don’t really like his mission I’m doing it cause I gotta do everything. Since I had to go to Rhodes for the first part of his mission I ran into Mr. Black and Mr. White (love those two), so I got their first mission done. I was waiting until day for Brother Dorkins (I never realized Rev. Swanson tells you about him...)

JFC I swear my horse doesn’t come unless it can fucking see me…that and it gives up after two seconds.

358 photos onto the flashdrive O_O

Brother Dorkins my guy!

DAMN IT EDITH!

DAMN IT HORSE I swear naming her Ruin was SO fitting… like even Arthur is saying “Damn that horse” “Every time” and she IS within whistling range… She went five feet as I’m running halfway across town to her…

Uh… Never in all my time of playing this game and running around Saint Denis have I seen Lemoyne Raiders SET THE BACK OF THE CITY HALL ON FIRE

Ah time to go see Charles but I wanna change clothes so to the stor- FUCKING PICKPOCKETS “just a bit of cash, that’s it!” BRUH THAT WAS $130. That ain’t A BIT. Want me to punch you A BIT?! (nah I didn’t, I lassoed him and got it back.)

I got Arthur a new shirt and he looked so happy Q-Q (also I really like this outfit I put together, I usually don’t make him wear blue…)

(Gif made by me)

Lookie~

Alrighty ready to laugh!

WHY DID I NEVER SEE ALBERT’S PHOTOS HERE BEFORE?!?!??!?!

I DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE HERE!!!! THERE’S A PHOTO OF ARTHUR!!!!!! (it’s not anything he ever wore and I’ve never let his beard get that long but- IT’S HIM)

Well… definitely going to make a separate post for Charles’ Art which WILL get flagged but it’s art soooooo, I’ll probably get it back up at some point.

The pure JOY this mission brings Arthur...

(Gif made by me)

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 photo mode #Arthur Morgan #blog progress update

[chanluster]

business proposals | {m}

oneshot | ceo! au | 10.9k words

“It was about time you addressed the cat and mouse game you and your boss have been playing for a time.”

s u m m a r y > > clashing heads with your annoyingly attractive boss was your everyday activity, but when a new, beautiful client comes in for the day you find yourself getting jealous. mr. lee, catching on, uses it to his absolute advantage, causing you to end up in a situation you did not think would end well. fortunately for you, with the way your dark-minded ceo’s mind worked, despite the hiccups in the middle, it ended just perfectly.

w a r n i n g s > > ceo! minho, secretary! reader, you get so annoyed at him all the time, he annoys you all the time, constant teasing, a fuckload of swearing, soooo much (kinda shit) sexual tension, flirtation back and FORTH, titles of endearment, minho is such a fucking dom, reader is a fucking BRAT, making out, fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving) you try to give him blueballs, unprotected sex (stay safe homies!!), semi-public sex (i mean they do it in his office so like), multiple orgasms, y’all be arguing during it all too HELP, minho has a sir kink sjsjskke, minho is so AGGRESSIVE HOLY SHIT, SO MUCH degradation, use of gags? (i mean he uses his tie so) basically you are 100% minho’s bitch by the end period!!

a u t h o r ’ s  n o t e > > hello horny fia is back again with a minho oneshot because she can not control herself!!!1!1! thank you @hyuckworld​ for so much inspo and helping me out omfg the tie thing still on my mind !1!1! anyway this is inspired by minho’s soribada look cause he mf SERVED! and i hope y’all enjoy !

back to masterlist

YOUR SMILE WAS MORE LIKE A FLASH OF TEETH.

“For the last time,” you seethed, trying your very best to contain your bubbling temper, “You cannot see him if you don’t have an appointment.”

The woman before you, a striking image of curls and curves, fitted red dress, white blazer, and Louboutins elevating her height, knifed you with finely-lined eyes. “But I don’t need an appointment! Mr. Lee said so himself I could arrive at his office when I wished to speak with him!”

You pursed your lips. Of course Mr. Fucking Lee said so.

“Well, there’s nothing I can do about it, Miss Kim.” You turned to your computer, opening up the list of clients intended to meet your boss this afternoon. Sure enough, this woman’s name was not accompanied with the others. Once again, he had said some pretty words, but had not reminded you of them so you could write it down for official backing.

You could not help typing a little furiously. It was like he was trying to make your life harder.

“I demand to see him!” Miss Kim exclaimed, raising her voice so the other employees, who were scattered before you at their desks, working away, paused, witnessing the commotion. “I did not travel from another city to be rejected!”

“Ma’am,” you guttered, hands on the telephone, ready to call security, when the misty, glass-like door beside you swung upon.

A firm, sultry voice resonated in the room.

“What is the meaning of this noise?”

Out stepped the one man you were hoping would stay seated in his office.

You turned around in your seat, looking up at the suited figure of Lee Minho — CEO of the corporation you worked under, and the mastermind behind the technological revolution in your city.

He certainly looked the part: black suit unbuttoned with his tie hanging, white shirt contrasting the colours. His trousers hugged his thighs a little too tightly for your own good, designer branded shoes adorning his feet. His dark brown locks were cascading over his forehead, and his calculating eyes assessed the room, finding the reason for such noise behind his doors.

His gaze settled on the woman. “Ah, Miss Kim!” He declared, a known dazzling smile upon his lips. “It’s good you’ve arrived.”

“Of course I would come,” she said, darting her glare back to you. “This little assistant of yours was ready to throw me out of the building.”

A slight tilt of his head. “Oh, really?”

Then, his eyes descended on you, seated before him, and you noticed something already stirring behind them. “And why was this ‘little assistant of mine’ booting you out of here?”

You pointed to your computer. “She’s not on your list of appointments for today.”

“So?” A glance at the woman. “When a pretty lady asks to see me, you oblige her, understand?”

Seething, you lock your hands together. “Then what is the point of the list when you won’t follow it?”

You nearly gasped in anger when you caught slight mischief in his eyes. “Keeping you on your toes, ____.”

“As always,” you hissed, returning his malicious smirk with a scowl.

He only chuckled at your lack of amusement, turning to the woman once more. “Miss Kim,” he addressed her, opening the door, gesturing for her to enter. “Come inside.”

“Thank you, Mr. Lee,” she simpered out, widening her sharp grin at you before going inside his office.

The man stood, regarding you for a minute. You glanced at him, frown still there. “Yes?”

“I am not to be disturbed,” he said, gaze a little too intense for your liking. “Is that understood?”

You made sure to match his stare. “Yes, sir.”

And you could have sworn his lips twitched upward when he turned to his office, entering after the woman.

When the door slid shut, you let out a shuddering breath.

Why in hell were you holding your breath?

“God,” you muttered, furiously typing away on your computer, noticing another presence approaching you. “He’s going to be the death of me.”

“Do not tell me you’re talking about Mr. Lee here.”

You looked up, and rolled your eyes to find Kim Seungmin, one of the salesmen for the firm, standing before you, files in hand and a knowing smile on his lips. “I am, as a matter of fact,” you said. “And how much I want to kill him.”

The man gave you a look. “Now see, I don’t think ‘kill’ was the word I thought you’d use.”

“Oh yeah?” You crossed your arms. “Then what word do you think I’d use?”

“I don’t know, like…” his adorable smile was so unlike his words. “Kiss? Fuck even?”

You let out a harsh gasp, nearly whacking his arm with your scattered files. “Oh my God!”

“You can’t deny it, ____!” Seungmin pointed to the door. “You have a massive crush on him!”

“How can you even say that!” you demanded, pulling you near him so the others around you did not hear. “I hate that cocky bastard.”

Your friend clicked his tongue at your statement. “Then can you please explain to me why you both got enough sexual tension to suffocate the entire building?”

“We do not,” you refused instantly, picking up your mug of coffee. “You’re mistaking my bloodlust with just lust.”

“Can you at least stop pretending to me that you don’t want to suck his dick?”

Nearly choking on your coffee, you struggled it down, sending a sharp glare. “I don’t!” you raised your chin. “I bet it’s tiny anyway. Wouldn't have anything for me to suck on.”

Now that, of all the things you said that afternoon, was a complete, full blown, almost offensive, lie.

Not that you’ve caught a glimpse at the package which settled between Lee Minho’s legs. Well, you had, to your own shame, and were burning at the clothed sight, proving your little claim extremely incorrect. Your boss, devastatingly, had something substantial going for him.

Seungmin’s little laugh had you dropping down to reality. “You were thinking about his cock just now, weren’t you?”

Cheeks burning, you waved him off, groaning as you went back to your computer. Minho’s appointments looked oh so interesting. “Fuck off, Min.”

His laughter only deepened as he stepped away. “There’s no hope for you, girl. You keep daydreaming about that.”

If it weren’t for the people around you, you would have happily sent him away with a middle finger, but figured you should hang onto any scrap of professionalism left in you. The only thing you could do now was write up the new appointments for next week. Or perhaps play some Solitaire.

Anything to stop you thinking about him.

You twisted your lips into a scowl.

This was so unbelievable. Lee Minho was the greatest, most notorious asshole you knew of, yet here you were, like an absolute moron, pondering over him as if he was a lost love. All the time, when it was in meetings, or just bumping each other in the office breakroom, he managed to piss you off without effort, watching you enraged with a disgustingly ravishing smile on his revoltingly beautiful face. It was so, goddamn unfair, that he could rile you up so easily when all you could do was make him more amused.

To hell with him and his fine ass, you thought as you closed all tabs, opening up Solitaire.

Just as you thought you found a moment’s peace in this building, you heard the phone ring drastically loud, stopping you from completing a full set of one deck. Already irritated, you tried to suppress it as you picked up the handset, pressing it to your ear. “Minho and Company?”

The voice that greeted your ears made it incredibly hard to reign in your irritation. “Have you finished the list?”

“No,” was your clipped reply. You focused on the game, matching the cards to the deck of hearts.

“And when will this list finish?”

“I’m a busy woman, you know,” you drawled, aggressively clicking on your mouse. “You give me so much work it’s hard to keep up.”

“Oh, really?” Fuck him, you could hear the taunting in his voice. “So you don’t spend all day playing those stupid Windows games on your work computer?”

Your anger paused, eyes widening. The lack of response had the man cackling through the phone. “I bet you’re on that same card game you always play when you’re trying to avoid my tasks. What was the name again?”

“I can assure you, sir, I am not playing Solitaire.” You then sucked in an agitated breath at your mistake.

“Ah, that’s right.” You hated how you could hear the smirk playing on his lips. “Playing Solitaire and ignoring my work.”

Were you mistaken, or had his voice descended an octave? With the way you bit your lip, you knew you were caught anyway. “I’ll get the list done.”

“Mmm,” he got out, the low baritone still there. “And address me properly when you talk to me.”

Oh my God. “I’ll get the damned list done, sir.”

A small pause. “Good girl.”

And the line cut off.

Your hand nearly went limp holding the phone.

Good girl.

“Shut the fuck up,” you muttered, slamming the handset back in its place, feeling yourself heat up a frightening rate. “Cocky prick.”

All those curses towards him, and yet your cheeks still burned.

You did not cease your profanity — this time aiming more towards your own self.

Dear Lord. You really were in for it this time.

MINHO AND MISS KIM WERE STILL IN THAT ROOM BY THE TIME YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE OFFICE.

You decided to stay a little longer, finishing up the last of the tasks he’d assigned to you, and an hour later, when Seungmin passed your desk to exit the building, he darted his eyes to his boss’ door and wiggled his brows your way.

“Shut up,” you snapped at him, earning a cheeky smile.

“I wonder what they’re doing in there,” he thought out loud, propping a hand on your table.

You typed away, trying to dismiss the worst assumptions in your mind. “I don’t particularly care.”

Seungmin, damn him, could see right through you. “Then why are you still here? Pretending that I didn’t catch you with your ear to the door hours before?”

Unfortunately, he wasn’t lying. About three hours into the meeting, you became so restless you tried to listen in on what exactly was going on. It sounded so bizarre, when Minho had to sit in hours-long meetings every other day, but him alone in his office with that girl didn’t settle well with you.

“Oh, jealousy!” Seungmin chanted, pointing at your face. “Is that you I see before me?”

“Go away!” you waved him off, glowering at him. “I’m not jealous of some girl I saw today. Her and Minho can do whatever they want.”

“Whatever you say, ____,” he said, but the knowing smile lingered, aggravating you even more. “Good night.”

“Good night, Min,” you muttered, waiting for the man to turn out of the building before swinging in your chair.

The door welcomed you still.

You bit the inside of your cheek. Now see, you should not be letting your mind wander. Especially in situations which included your boss, another girl, and closed doors. Your gut twisted at the thought, and you were surprised at such a reaction.

What if Seungmin was right?

“No!” you whispered furiously to yourself, turning back to your computer. “Not jealous, just curious.”

Yes, that’s right. Just interested to know what the fuck they’re talking so long for.

“Oh God,” you breathed out, pressing your legs together. Maybe your friend was right. “Shit.”

Suddenly, you got up from your seat, picking up any scrap of paper and hurrying to the door. Pressing your ear to the misted glass, fingers clasping the metal handle. You could hear soft murmurs, a little laughter, but other than that, you failed to hear anything coherent.

This brought you even more agitation upon you. Doing something wrong, and it wasn’t even going as planned. This is what happened when you let yourself feel something.

Oh, no. Now you even admitted it to yourself that you had felt something for the asshole. If he ever heard of this, you would probably have to quit this job.

You pressed harder on the handle, never been more frustrated in your life than you were at that time. You were pathetic. Utterly disgraceful, but you could not help when you could not deny that Lee Minho-

You could not finish the thought.

Not when your hand slid on the handle too hard, swinging open the door. You let out a shrill screech as you stumbled inside the office, papers leaving your hands.

The conversation ceased, and you did not need to see them to know their eyes were on you.

Minho’s honey voice filled the room.

“What is this intrusion?”

You looked up, and felt your heart stop.

There he was, sitting leaned back at his plush executive chair, spinning a pen between his fingers. His brown locks were now raked back, a few strays cascading on the side of his forehead. His blazer was off, hung on his chair, and his shirt was tight on his hard chest.

Steadying yourself, but not your butterflies inside, you also saw Miss Kim hovering over him, showing him a few documents with her head a little close to his. She glanced up at you, and her face soured.

Minho snapped his fingers, shaking you out of your staring. “I asked you a question, ____.”

You wanted to snap at him, but reigned it in. “Sorry, but…”

But what? Not like you came in here with a plan.

Your eyes slid down to fallen files on the floor. “I needed to discuss...a proposal!”

Kneeling down, you picked up the scattered pieces of paper, on your feet in an instant. “Yes. A business proposal I needed to talk about.”

The man was not stupid; he saw right through your feeble excuse, with the impish gleam in his gaze. “Is that so?”

“What else would it be?” you pressed, masking your growing nerves with your irked frown.

His lips began to curve. You both stared each other down, refusing to back away. Miss Kim cleared her throat, even more angered by you now receiving his full attention.

“Shall I continue or…?” she carried off, completely deprived of his regard. Only when you glanced at her did his smile waver, raising the file.

He kept his eyes on you. “We can review this later,” he said to Miss Kim. He then addressed you. “And this time I’ll have an actual meeting planned. Happy,  ____?”

You couldn’t suppress a scoff, not gone unnoticed yet unaddressed, as the woman took the files from him. She sent him a dazzling smile. “I will see you later, Mr. Lee.”

He returned it with a nod, watching her stroll past you, and out of the office. You watched the door close itself, sensing the silence more now the two of you were alone.

The quiet stretched on for longer before a hard sigh had you facing your boss once again.

“Beautiful, isn’t she,” he began, observing you from his rather messy desk.

That little comment of his pissed you right off. “The prettiest, in my opinion,” you crowed, gripping onto the files harder.

You then caught the shit-eating grin upon his face, and marred your face in a frown, causing him to splutter into laughter.

“Stop laughing,” you spat, but that only made him more breathless. “Oh, I’m leaving!”

“No you’re not,” he rasped out, finally calming down.  He raised a hand across the chair before his desk. “You’re going to sit down and tell me of the proposals.”

A retort was on your tongue when you stopped, taking in his order. “Proposals?”

He cocked his head slightly, stray hairs tumbling with the action. “You said when you burst into my office that-”

He halted himself, everything falling into place.

When he focused on you this time, your stomach coiled at the way his smirk lit up his face. “Are you telling me you pretended to have appointments so you’d have that woman out of my room?”

The lack of response on his question had the man chortling. “My, my. Why so jealous, doll?” He gripped onto the arms of his chair, leaving the seat. “If you wanted me alone all you had to do was ask.”

Taking a step away from the desk, his fingers drummed on the table. “I wouldn’t have insisted on making an appointment either.”

A last surge of courage passed through you, especially from his words. “And what would you have done?” you got out.

The drumming paused, more from surprise at your question.

His piercing stare positively flared. “I don’t think you’d be able to handle it,” he guttered.

I don’t think you’d be able to handle it.

You didn’t know why that enraged you so much.

The cat and mouse game, once again being deflated by his words, leaving you disappointed. Why should you accept defeat this time?

You made sure he heard your thoughts.

“God, you really are a fucking prick!”

A pause. “Why would that be?” He took a step towards you, sharp brows furrowing.

“You…” staring at him, you screwed your face up in anger. “Toying with me all this time, yet doing nothing about it!”

That fine eyebrow was raised, but you carried on, refusing to let him speak. “Every single day, without fail, we see each other, bicker back and forth, and for what? Me all frustrated and you just enjoying it?”

You made sure you knifed your boss with a glare. “You just say words and leave. That’s all you can do.”

There was an eerie stillness after that — a slight shift in Minho’s demeanour, as his eyes narrowed, darkened at your claim. His hands, in his pockets before, slid out, and you saw they were fisted tightly.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me perfectly, sir,” you spat, that damned word he made sure you said every time . “You’re all bark and no bite.

“You’re a fucking coward.”

There it was.

The allegation against him. The words you’ve been wanting to say for so long, because you let yourself feel something for this man, and fuck, if he did not do anything about it you would quit this job here and now.

His next words were a mere whisper. They did not possess a hint of softness.

“Do you really think that?”

Another step.

Veins, slight before, we’re now more visible on his hands, trailing all the way up to the edge of the rolled up sleeves. When you caught his gaze, you nearly gasped at the pure, carnal fire that blazed within.

“Calling me a coward.”

Before you knew it, the man thundered towards you, and those veiny hands gripped your waist, pulling you to him in an iron grip. A small hiss escaped you at the sudden restraint.

“Don’t you dare call me a fucking coward again.”

His breath fanned your mouth, you mere inches from him. You made sure you kept your ground till the very end. Wherever that led you.

“Or what?” Your hands slid up to his shoulders. “Not like you would do anything. As per usual.”

And as the heavy silence reigned on the both of you, you had a little realisation.

Those words might have just been your undoing.

Because the second they left your tongue, Lee Minho growled fiercely before colliding his lips against yours.

His mouth snatched the very breath from you, an instant whine trying to escape yet refused by his lips, capturing yours and taking you with the strength of a wild beast. You nearly fell backwards from the pure momentum but were saved by his hands on you, branding their place on your skin.

The most surprising part was how you kissed him back with the same anger. The same rage which simmered the very first day you argued with him, and vowed to make his life a living hell, just like how he made yours unbearable during work. He captured your lower lip and began sucking on the flesh, and an obscenely loud moan escaped you at the contact.

The bastard was good. He was so, fucking good.

Just when you thought he’d go deeper, he pulled away, a thin bridge of saliva connecting the both of yours lips.

The trail broke when he took a step back, settling himself on his seat. That glistening mouth curved into a feline smirk, thumb stroking his lower lip.

“Still a coward, doll?”

You nearly collapsed without his hold. He took notice of your position, and scoffed at your weakness. “Looks like you took up the role instead.”

“How is that,” you rasped out, breath still uneven.  “When you’re the one who stopped to sit down?”

Taking a step before him, your knees brushed against his own. “Looks like grandpa needs a rest.”

The comment had Minho’s eyes set ablaze. “You fucking—”

His hands reached out, tugging you upon him as he stayed seated. Your legs kneeled on either side of him, straddling him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, willingly accepting his lips. They worked so hypnotically with yours that you did not realise them opening your mouth completely, with his tongue sliding inside. He explored everywhere, finding your own tongue and swirling it along with his, ruining any chance of you suppressing your groaning at his actions.

Perhaps Minho took notice of your stubbornness, because his hands landed on your thighs, fingers tracing the hem of your skirt. You let the groan free as he hitched the fabric higher, higher, higher, removing himself from your lips and descending down, pouncing on a particular patch of skin on your neck.

“Already so—” he sucked hard on your neck, revelling in your whines, “—already so loud when I’ve only just kissed you?”

“Fuck you,” you breathed out, digging his nails into his shirt. He cackled at your response, sinking his teeth and creating the first bruise of the evening.

“I’m gonna have to teach you some manners,” he whispered onto your skin, raising your skirt high enough that your intricate lacing of your lingerie, black as the night, began to show. Minho practically salivated at the image; you knew from the raging lining beneath his trousers.

“All talk,” you merely said, despite the uneven breathing. “All talk and no action.”

His thumbs pressed into your thighs, ceasing your words with a little whine. It had the man capturing your lips again, pulling you down with his hands on your legs, closing any distance between you two, needing to have you all over him. Your lips swelled, bruised by the rough handling of your boss’ mouth, ravaging you in ways you didn’t dare dream of. His fingers, trailing up your skin once again, curled under the waistband of your underwear.

Your heart hammered in your chest at his touch. He was being too slow, too damn slow while you dripped with the beginning of arousal, making you a shuddering mess.

Lee Minho was about to slide the lace down when a shrill call flooded the room.

Both of you stopped dead in your tracks. The man whirled to the origins of the sound, coming from his wide open laptop — a notification for joining a meeting call popped up on the screen, automatically picking up in about five seconds.

Your boss nearly had a heart attack.

With quick thinking, Minho pried you off him, practically dumping you upon the floor with a slight groan. His hands gathered you under the table, pressing a finger to your lips with a stern look before disappearing up on his desk.

You let out a deliberately loud scoff just before he accepted the call, fingers swiping down to pinch you for calling out. You could not see his face, only from the navel down, sat right before you, caging you with his legs.

“Ah, Mr. Lee!”

A gasp almost escaped you, but remembered his glare and actually stopped. One make out session and you already obeyed him like a servant.

Over your dead body.

Your boss’ low growl had you widening your eyes. “What do you want, Chan?”

The hazy answer revealed his employee’s concern. “Mr. Lee, are you okay?” You heard him say through the laptop speaker.

You saw Minho’s leg start bouncing rapidly, and although you could not see his expression, you knew that he was, most definitely, pissed off. “I’m perfect. Fantastic even. Now what do you want?”

You were ready to sit still, wait through the meeting as Chan’s uncertain voice spoke of some specific business deals that needed to be confirmed, few details that needed to be checked over. However, the way your arousal still dripped, ever so slowly, was a weight, reminding you of the activities occurring mere moments before. You didn’t even bother to pull your skirt down.

It was settled. You needed this problem of yours solved now, or never.

Fortunately for you, your solution was presented to you, right before your eyes, and right between Minho’s legs.

His cock still stood, erect against the lining of his trousers.

You gulped at the sight. The bastard was mean, flaunting it all before you, knowing you would have thrust it straight in your mouth if you hadn’t been interrupted.

A spark ignited within you. Why should it stop you now?

Oh God. Why were you suddenly becoming so bold? Was it you, being so turned on that you needed your needs met without wait? Whatever the reason, you found nothing to argue against it.

If Minho was playing games with you, then you would play along with him.

Hands stretching on the floor, you crawled towards him, settling yourself between the space his legs created. Kneeling slightly, your fingers extended towards the zipper on his trousers, prying it down.

The man stilled under your touch.

Head protruding from the edge of the table, you spied Minho’s eyes, ever so carefully darting down to you, his mouth parting slightly under the cover of his hand. He hummed at Chan’s words, but you knew his interest was rooted only to you and your daring fingers.

When you unzipped his trousers, ready to peel them down, his other hand, out of the sight of the laptop, caught your wrist. His grip dug into your skin, stopping you in your tracks.

You looked up at him, making sure you expose your desperation in your eyes. His own widened, only for a second before dragging them back on the screen. A smirk curved onto your lips, knowing he was so affected by your mere actions. How you dared to toy with your boss.

The pout-like expression paid off, when the grip on your wrist loosened. Hurriedly your hands went to the waistband of his trousers, pulling the fabric down, and you had to commend Minho’s ability to look so calm when you were practically drooling at the sight that welcomed you.

You did not even bother to pull the pants right down, stopping just under his knees as you admired his finely sculpted thighs. It was no secret that your boss worked out everyday after he was done with meetings, and every time you caught evidence of his toils you wished you didn’t inwardly moan at the sight. His taut muscle stretched all the way up to his underwear, slightly soiled at the tip of his dick, outlined against the fabric.

Minho glanced down for a second at his antics, and when he looked back at the laptop again there was a ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“Chan, hurry and finish this up,” he jeered.

This was enough signal to start peeling his boxers down too.

Your eyes nearly popped out of your sockets when you saw his cock spring free, curving proudly with its tip inches from his abdomen. The top glistened with the pre-cum, trailing down the length.

Oh dear God.

Your index, on instinct, reached out, cutting the white trail as you journeyed up the shaft. Minho’s low, barely audible growl had you shivering.

“Mr. Lee, you don’t look so well,” you heard the hazy worry of your coworker. You couldn’t help the giggle, and Minho’s side glare had you grinning.

He was not the one in control at the moment.

“I said I’m fine, Chan,” he snapped, and when you swiped up the remaining pre-cum on the head his dick twitched, a choked breath escaping. “Perfectly fine!”

“Uh, okay, then, this won’t take much longer…”

You, on the other hand, were just getting started.

Fingers, first stroking up the shaft, now wrapped around his cock, and with your heart in your throat you began a slow rhythm of sliding your hand up and down. Glancing up, you caught the colour of his face draining, using every ounce of his strength not to groan out loud.

You savoured the harsh tick in his jaw, quickening your pace and watched the man lose his cool, nerves in his neck protruding. Oh God, he was on the edge of his patience. It only encouraged your risky behaviour, dick hardening even more beneath your touch.

Still, there was no vocal outcry, to your irritation. You wanted to embarrass him during his meeting. Make him shut that laptop and moan out what he’s feeling. With these goals in mind, you cupped the base, and snuck a little closer, your face mere inches from his cock.

Taking one last peek at his paled face, you brought out your tongue and slid it along the head.

A soft groan emitted from your boss.

Chan’s monologuing of events paused, but the look on Minho’s face had him hurriedly continuing, while you progressed on, lapping up the remaining pre-cum you couldn’t catch with your index. You were never fond of the taste, but you took it in anyway, just to see the bastard’s mouth part in a way which had you almost leaking too.

Done with the soft, kitty licks, you hung on to your courage as you opened your mouth a little wider, taking in the head with your lips. Your hands stay wrapped around his cock as you, slowly, so slowly, went down, taking in inch by inch.

Minho’s fist smacked against the desk.

“Mr. Lee—”

“Ask me again, and you’re fired,” your boss guttered, hips sliding forward to push his cock further into your mouth. You nearly gagged at the action, but take it all in, obliging him because then you created a pattern of bobbing your head. Up and down, going easy, relaxed at first, you were sure Lee Minho was going to bring down his office.

But he didn’t.

And all because of that fucking meeting.

Suddenly angered, you did not bother fastening your pace, ready to give him blue balls for not reacting to your touches. Your mouth was back on top, lips still wrapped around the head, when you looked up at your boss through your lashes.

He stared down at you. Widened his eyes at the sight of you still enveloping his cock with your mouth, your gaze revealing the irritation of his lack of response.

Oh, he’ll give you something to work with.

His hand immediately when to the back of your head, stopping you from leaving as the other hand grabbed at the laptop screen.

Chan knew exactly what he was about to do. “Mr. Lee, I still have one more thing—”

You did not hear anymore, hearing the sharp SNAP! of the laptop shutting.

The silence returned, but did not stay for long as, gradually, Minho looked down at you, properly this time, and offered you such a lust-filled stare you were glad you did not leave your place upon his cock.

“Did you really think, doll,” he whispered, running his fingers through your hair, “That I was going to let you leave me? Just like that?”

You did not answer back — obviously, because your mouth was a little occupied, but you raised your brows at him, hands tightening at his base. He let out a shuddered breath, chuckling.

“Still a brat, hmm? At least you’re not talking back.”

He tugged harder at your locks. “If this was the way to shut you up, I would have done it a long time ago.”

Although your cheeks burned, you made sure to shut him up when you started your flow once again, closing your eyes as you went up and down on him.

Only this time, you had a little assistance.

Minho’s groaning roamed the room, like sweet music to your ears as you gradually fastened, working his dick with your hands too. Instinctively, the man bucked his hips into you, needing to have all of his inches in your mouth, needing to release all that pent up frustration that you created for him.

He said as much.

“Look at you,” he rasped up at you, curling away flyaways from your face as you worked on him. “Taking all of my cock…ah, all of my cock in your pretty little mouth.”

His filth was encouragement, and as you were sucking harder you could tell he was getting near. Pride washed over you, as your one of your hands reached out to play with his balls, earning a harsh moan from his lips.

“Ah—keep going, doll,” he rasped, his hips straying from a solid rhythm, knowing he’s going to let go soon if you kept up at this rate. “Doing so well.”

Perhaps these pieces of praise had you looking up, making sure he was watching as you hollowed your cheeks, taking him all in fully, a slight curve to your lips.

The absolute sin in the image of you kneeling before him, with his full length in you, had him crying out. He could not control the release that shot into your throat, pouring down and making you gag at its suddenness. Still, you took it all in, accepted the cum instead of spitting it out.

When he was finished, slightly heaving, his eyes danced at you slowly swallowing it down, a challenge in the quirk of your brow. Sweat beaded down at your forehead, but knowing you had Minho moaning over your skill was something to take pride in.

Lapping up the remaining cum, you swiped it off with the back of your hand. “Nice meeting, sir?”

The man could only laugh at your comment, so normal despite the situation. ”Adequate,” he drawled, pulling his boxers and trousers up as he cleaned off his dick. “But there’s still much to discuss.”

He wheeled his chair back, arms wrapping around you to free you from under the desk. You were glad of his help, for your legs were near-buckling. He noticed this too, for a smirk began to play on his lips.

Leaving you for a just a moment, he turned to his desk. He threw all his work off the top, paper and stationary flying from the table and scattering onto the floor. His laptop was thrusted at the ends of the table, unable to be a distraction.

“Hey, your papers will be all messed up,” you started, but he surprised you with a heart-searing kiss, making you almost collapse. You let his tongue slide inside instantly, hands gripping harder onto your hips as he tasted his release on your tongue, and when he roughly tugged on your lower lip, you gasped lightly at the harsh treatment.

He backed you further, the back of your upper thighs hitting his desk, and when he left your lips, his dark gaze had you weakened.

“I don’t really give a fuck about the papers right now, doll.”

You would have leaked out your arousal there and then. “Minho—”

“Did I tell you to call me Minho?” He demanded, fingers digging into your hips. Dazed, you tilted your head, only wanting his tongue down your throat again.

Catching the expression, he shook his head. “I’ll let you off today because you’re being a good little bitch this time.”

Dear God, you hated how you loved being called that.

His tongue working on your neck had you whimpering. “It’s sir to you, understand?”

You already had a counterpoint to piss him off with, but the animalistic threat in his eyes had you gulping. “Yes sir.”

The title had him going hard all over again. He teethed another hickey onto your skin, finding solace in the crook of your neck.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten you all wet for me before, doll,” he whispered, hands sliding down, gripping the hem of your skirt. He hurriedly hitched it upwards, bunching it at your hips.

His fingers skimmed over your thighs before feeling the soft silk of your black lingerie, a familiar sight. “Ah, see?” His sole index traced over the front, dipping the fabric in your slit, already staining with your arousal. “All wet, just for me.”

“Stop it,” you whined, hands on his shoulders. “Stop teasing.”

“Since when do you order me around, ____?” He crowed, palming your clothed cunt, completely ignoring your demands. A ragged breath escaped you at the friction, so pleasurably wonderful you feared what would happen to you when he plays with you without the thin layer.

His attitude, however, still pissed you right off.

“I’ll be dried up by the time you start,” you seethed at him, nails digging into his shoulders. Provoking him was your only option, to get him to stop beating around and rail you on his desk.

“I don’t think so, doll,” he purred, other hand playing with the bands of your panties. You were about to snap when he hooked a finger over the hem of the lace and slid the underwear right down, just above your knee, and your breathing hitched as you found his gaze rooted to your now exposed cunt, already glistening from your arousal.

Minho’s mouth was practically salivating.

Despite the nerves growing in your belly, you still snapped him out of his mind drooling. “Are you going to just keep staring? Because that isn’t going to make me cum.”

His eyes slid to you, and shit, you could tell how much he wanted to beat your ass for your useless commentary. “Don’t make me shut you up again.”

“Talk, talk, talk,” you provoked, grabbing hold of his black tie.

A primal growl emitted from his throat, and when his fingers began skimming over the surface, you let out a whimper. “Oh, so my little doll wants to cum all over my fingers, then?” he muttered, eyes gleaming with an indecipherable goal.

His dirty words, along with him playing over your folds, had your stomach all knotted up. It was this tight feeling which had you breathing out, “Yes sir.”

The title at the end which had him slipping the first finger inside of you.

The feeling of his index sliding inside had you moaning much too loud for an action so small. Minho thoroughly enjoyed your reaction, finger almost fully inside when he palmed your core as well, already had you halfway there to your own undoing.

When his finger was up to the knuckle, his other hand found refuge in your locks, leaving open-mouthed kisses along your throat. He began to slowly pull out, creating the same gradual rhythm you had when your mouth was on his cock before. When only the pad of his finger was inside, he thrust back in, making you whine at the rush.

If that was not enough, a second finger joined in on his labour, stretching your walls and you hissed at the snugness of his digits in your cunt, continuing that pattern which had you crying out from pure ecstasy. Damn the bastard, but he was so good at making you helpless.

A deep feeling settled in your gut, and you knew if he kept up at this, you were going to cum all over him. “I-I’m close,” you got out, wrapping your hand around the tie further, pulling him even closer.

Minho, satisfied with creating a painting of lovebites upon your neck, locked your gaze with his. You were surprised to find sinister mischief in his eyes. “My babydoll is going to cum, now?” he questioned, further puzzled to hear softness in his usual fire-like voice. You nodded desperately, praying that he finger-fucks you after this calm. All you desired now was sweet release.

Which was why you cried out in protest when he slipped his fingers out entirely.

Your lust-hazed eyes looked at him, all wide. “Wh-what?”

The arousal-stained fingers gripped your thigh, a small yelp escaping you. The man’s other hand gripped your chain, making sure you don’t break his carnal stare. “You don’t get to cum unless I say so.”

You nearly sobbed as you felt your orgasm start to fade. You knifed him with a glare, pulling him a hair’s breadth from you with the tie. “What the fuck is up with that, sir?”

His grip on your chin tightened. “Don’t argue back, doll.”

The two digits were pushed inside you once again, and still, damn your senses, your breathing hitched. “If I see release on my fingers, I’ll fuck the orgasm up, understand?”

Although the nerves were back, you wished looks could kill when you stared at him. So he’s going to keep toying with you, then?

Well. Two could play that game.

You convinced him with a timid smile, wrapping your hand around his tie all the way. “As you say, sir.”

Delighted at your response, he struck up that hypnotic flow of his fingers, slowly pumping inside of you. Of course, you relished the way he worked within you, knowing he was waiting for the final cry when he hit a specific spot, but you had to show him your place.

Instead of moaning down the office, like you wished you would, your stubbornness silenced you completely.

Even when Minho fastened his pace, making it incredibly hard for you to stay rigid, you gave him a taste of his own medicine, not a single whine escaping you, just the way he stayed angrily quiet in the meeting. His tie was your only source of venting out your frustration, pulling on it so harshly you wondered how the man’s neck hadn’t given in yet.

A strange sense of hysteria bubbled within you when your boss noticed your silence. Snarling, he dug deeper, and when he hit your g-spot, your eyes nearly burst out of your sockets.

“Being a fucking brat again?” he retorted, fingers playing with the spot until finally, a soft whine came free of your tongue. “Trying to mock me?”

You took in a ragged breath, hair a mess, courtesy of his hand. You glared and glared, but still, you refused to say anything. Refused to say a word, and when you saw his mouth twist into a scowl you savoured his anger.

He ripped his hand from your tie, loosening it from his neck. He straightened it out, every action fuelled with aggression. It made your whole body crawl with excitement.

You parted your mouth to piss him off even more when you suddenly felt a mouthful of silk, completely stopping you. Trying to whine, the tie knotted behind your head, and Minho pulled so hard it nearly stopped your blood circulation.

“Didn’t want to moan, huh?” he guttered, tying up a pretty knot beneath your locks. “Tried to be smart, did you?

The tie wedged inside your mouth stopped you from answering back, Minho taking great satisfaction in your broken mumbling. “Oh, so you wanna talk now?” he mocked, slowly descending, until his face was at level with your cunt. He looked up, and the sight had you shutting up immediately. “No, we’ll play your little game.”

His eyes resembled a demon’s. “One fucking word from you and you’ll be sorry,” he warned, hands, now on your thighs, squeezing the muscle. The anger was so cold you only nodded erratically, fingers gripping the edge of the table.

Spreading your legs a slight, he closed the distance, tongue opening the seams and licking the surface.

You could not help the stifled moan which worked its way out the gag.

Retracting at your reaction, he glanced up, fingers digging into your skin. “Shut your fucking mouth,” he growled, trailing down your inner thigh. That command alone had you in near tears.

He didn’t wait for your incoherable answer as he dived right back in, tongue now licking your clit in a way which had you seeing stars, along with the added assault of his two digits pumping your core. He immediately found your sweet spot and curled his fingers, knowing you would melt right on his face.

Because the gag worked wonders in ceasing your words, you had to vent out your release through gripping Minho’s hair, pushing further, begging him to just let you cum all over his face. The man was a mean prick, though, and wouldn’t ever give you that satisfaction.

His fingers increased their tempo, in and out, and your orgasm was right on the edge, threatening to wash over you if he didn’t stop. You whined as much as you could this time, praying he understood what you meant, and not just you provoking him further.

You tried to curse yourself at how pathetic you were in that state, but you were honestly so fucked out you didn’t particularly care. All you wanted now was for Minho to ruin you.

The man, taking notice of your cries, paused his licking, fingers still at their thrusting. His eyes still up at your ravaged state, and you nearly undid yourself at the pure pride that shone in his gaze. “Does my little brat wanna cum all over my face?” he cooed darkly, and you could not nod fast enough, earning a husky chuckle from him.

“Will you talk back?” God, an even faster shake of your head, eyes glistening. “You better fucking not.” he sighed, blowing on your cunt which had you wailing into the silk. “Well, since the gag’s still on…”

He offered you a small grin, enough to drive you insane.

“Go on then, you fucking slut. Cum on my face.”

His mouth was upon your cunt in seconds, just in time for you crying out into the tie-gag as you released your orgasm, creating a mess of him as you spilled yourself onto his tongue, his chin, everywhere, barely avoiding the office floor. Minho slowed his pumping inside, eventually ceasing as he took in your release, pulling away.

You caught the slight spillage scattered on his chin, and he slid his tongue down, looking up at you with feline amusement. “All that bitching, and you still cummed,” he mused, soothing your throbbing with his fingers. “Still gonna call me a coward?”

He stood, his clothed hard on rubbing against your folds, and you knew you that despite the orgasm, you needed more. His mere fingers, however heavenly, were not enough.

His one hand cupped your head while the other tugged on the gag, pulling it down from your mouth. You coughed lightly at the freedom, desire swirling in your features still. “I…” you started, but your throat still hurt. “I…”

“Use you words, doll,” he ordered, unravelling the knot on his tie behind you. “God knows you use them too well.”

“F-fuck...you,” you rasped out, causing him to raise a brow.

“Still got attitude?” He traced his thumb over your cheek. “Despite you whining like a little bitch to let you cum?”

His hands left your face, sliding to your thighs as he gripped onto them, having you sit on the desk. He then moved down further, tossing your lingerie before wrapping your legs around his waist.

Leaning in, his chuckle tickled your lips. “Guess I’m gonna have to fuck the brat out of you.”

That alone would have had you moaning if Minho didn’t shut you up with a rough kiss, fingers sloppily unbuttoning your shirt. He sucked on your tongue, failing to take the shirt off, and with a harsh groan ripped the parting, buttons popping to the floor. He peeled the attire off you, dumping it with your panties, and when he pulled away, he took in your intricately laced bra, and his malice was replaced with pure, unadulterated lust.

“God, I’m going to ruin you, doll.”

You answered with capturing his mouth, nibbling on his bottom lip, his clothed boner creating friction against your inner thighs. His hands ravaged all over your exposed skin, while your own returned the favour, unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off. You ran your fingers up his abdomen, the granite solidity having you rolling your hips against him. Smiling against your lips, you felt his hands descend, gripping at the underside of your thighs before he lifted you up.

You gasped lightly, wrapping your hands around his neck as Minho, while leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, collarbone, tongue sliding along, turned around, your back to the full view of the nightlife of the city, revealed through floor length windows of his office all around. Walking towards it, he backed you up against the glass, the cold sending shivers down your spine. That, and Minho leaving core-shaking kisses upon your skin, as he began to unhook your bra strap, tearing the lingerie off you.

“Minho!” you exclaimed, when he planted his lips upon your bare breast, sole finger playing with the other. Hearing his name had him grinding against you, making you whimper.

He went up, erratic breathing entering your ears. “It’s sir to you,” he snapped, before diving back in on your breast, licking over your nipple so thoroughly that you felt that overgrowing need to release once again. Again, with the teasing, the playing, when all you needed was his cock to fill you right up.

“Sir, p-please,” you begged, your legs locked tightly behind him.

“Please what, doll?” he hissed onto your skin, one hand tracing your throat.

One more thrust of his hips and your eyes pricked with tears. “P-please fuck me, sir,” the knots in your belly growing.

“Finally,” he breathed out, thumbing your neck, softly compared to the hard on you were practically sitting on. “You’re not being a little bitch.”

One hand still clasped around his neck, you brought the other down to his trousers. Looking up at him, he almost softened.

“Now you’re asking permission?” he cooed, straying from your breasts. “Being a good girl for me?”

You never had an idea on how much that affected you. “Don’t push it,” you countered, a tired smirk still playing on your lips.

“Go on, doll,” he said, hitching you higher on the glass, moistening with the sweat beading down your back. “But I like you better when you beg.”

“Let’s see if you-ah!” you were cut off when you pulled his trousers down, and his cock tried to burst from his stained underwear, rubbing against your cunt much too deliciously. “Fuck me hard enough.”

“Stop running your mouth and pull my boxers off,” he ordered, and this you willingly obliged, careful of your leg-lock as you peeled them down to his knees, he getting them clean off. When his cock sprung free, you were salivating at the sight, angry red and ready to have it inside of you.

When he caught your blatant staring, he snapped his fingers. “Careful, or you’ll start cumming without my permission.”

Your widened eyes darted to him, and your lack of response had him actually laughing. “Already forgotten your words?” he mocked, fingers gripping your chin. “My babydoll is getting dumb staring at my cock.”

“Please, sir,” you murmured, locking your hands behind his neck. “P-please fuck me.”

Minho let out a pleasured sigh at your pleading. “As you wish, ____.”

Pressing his forehead against yours, he clasped his cock, directing the tip to your entrance, already staining the surface with its pre-cum. His other hand gripped onto your hip, steadying you against the glass, now slightly misted.

“Ready?” he asked, surprised to hear a little softness as he caressed your hip with his thumb.

You nodded against his forehead, parting your mouth. “Yes, sir.”

A little scoff escaped him. “Good girl.”

That was all he needed before he began the final descent.

His cock slid inside, and your breathing turned irregular as your walls stretched slightly at the intrusion. He went further and further, moving ever so slowly to let you adjust. Lord knows you needed to, when his dick was so big.

“O-oh my God—” you stumbled out, feeling as if the man had filled you right up to your gut when he was finished. You kept deathly still, fearing you might shatter if you even moved the wrong way.

“It’s okay, doll,” he reassured you, hand leaving his cock and settling upon your other hip. “Whenever you’re set.”

“I’m good,” you said, more scared that you would cum right onto his dick if he tried to move inside you. “Stop worrying and...and fuck me already.”

His thumbs pressed harder on your sides, a pleasured sting ringing. “Now I won’t regret it if you can’t walk after this.”

A ragged scoff escaped you. “We’ll see about that-”

Well, you really couldn’t when Minho began to pull out.

Your mockery was cut off with a shrill cry, hold tightening on him as his cock slowly slid out. The gradual process was so pleasurable you had to hold onto him for dear life, or you knew you would collapse onto the office floor. The man made sure that never happened, grip on your sides never slipping, pressing you against the warming glass.

“I’ve only just started,” he drawled breathlessly, still relishing how loud you were being despite him merely beginning. “Has my babydoll never been fucked before?”

You had, but never had anyone made you so weakened by a simple pull out. In fact, your sexual life was average at best, but you telling him that he would, by far, be the biggest mistake. He’s already got an ego the size of his cock - you were not going to inflate it any larger.

“H-have been,” you gasped out. “B-better even.”

That false claim had him knitting his brows in anger. He thrusted his dick right back in, and another whine choked out of you.

“Liar,” he spat, filling you right to the brim. “Lying to me when my cock’s inside you.”

God, the rage that filled his veins was pure ecstasy in your mind. Good, you thought, making sure you chuckled at him. Provoke him till he breaks you.

“H-he was so much-argh!” you just couldn’t get a word out when he began to pull out once more, Minho now attacking your neck with his lips, bruised patches of your skin as he started up a painfully delightful rhythm of pushing and pulling his cock into you.

“Go on, you fucking brat,” he snarled onto your throat, licking up the column. “Try and tell me there was anyone better.”

You were on to tell him, gloat breathlessly that there were all these obviously real people who had fucked you into oblivion, but when his fingers began to prod at your clit those lies were replaced with thundering mewls, nails digging into his back.

Fastening his pace, you rolled your eyes back, head hitting the glass. Minho, watching you, slammed his hips forward, hitching you upward with the sheer force of his cock and snapping you out of your haze, making you look at him.

“I asked you something, doll,” he demanded with rich sarcasm, fingers never stopping on your clit, nearly taking you over the edge. When the head of his dick hit a certain spot, deep into your core, you couldn’t even control the slight drool which trailed down your spit-slick lips.

Minho’s dark laughter only had the knots tightening in your belly. “Awww, my babydoll’s so fucked out she can’t even speak?” his mouth curled into a smirk. “Only a useless set of holes for me to toy with, aren’t you?”

You thought you said something, hopefully something to shut him up, but when your orgasm was right at the tip of your cunt you knew it was as the bastard said - useless.

As you predicted, Minho quickened his fingers on your bud. “Worthless fucking bitch,” he mocked mercilessly, practically branding you against the glass. With the sheer anger he fucked you with, you were scared the windows would crack. You wouldn’t put it past him.

“C-close, sir,” you finally got out, managed to formulate the only words you needed at that moment. Your boss, at this, only increased his pace of his erratic thrusts, practically decimating your cunt with his cock. You had a feeling among the lust-filled haze of your mind that he, too, was getting close, with the way his flow turned sloppy.

“And…” he took in a sharp breath. “And what about it?”

Oh, you knew what his last game was. Permission from him, pleading to let you spill your arousal all over his cock.

In any normal circumstance, you would have laughed at their face. Made sure they never asked something so atrocious.

Lee Minho, however, was another case entirely. Not when he was your lifeline, the only one in the universe who could save you from this impending doom. Even though he was the bastard who brought it down on you in the first place.

So you did what possibly no human being could ever ask of you.

You pleaded.

Practically begged to let you feel sweet release.

“Can I…” another soft cry left your lips. “F-fuck, please...can I cum?”

Minho imprisoned you with his gaze. Locks sticking to his forehead, mouth parted in desire, and pupils dilated, you still found him so utterly beautiful, despite the wilderness beneath. Found him even more so when he finally decided to show you some mercy.

“Go on, babydoll. Cum for me.”

You didn’t need to be told twice.

Your vision nearly blacked out when you obliged, orgasm spilling out from the tight spaces between your walls and his cock, dribbling down your legs and dripping onto the office carpet. The sight of your spillage had Minho finishing off his own thrusts, releasing an earth-shattering cry as he barrelled his own release into you, ropes of cum spilling out of your cunt, joining your mess on the floor.

A slight peaceful stillness settled over the office, save for the both of you, breathing as if you had been underwater this whole time. Minho’s cock was still inside you, snug around your moistened walls. Slowly, he pulled it out, hanging limp from use, and your cunt felt hollow, emptier than it has ever felt before.

You unlocked your legs from his waist, immediately regretting the action when they gave out under you. Collapsing onto Minho, you were instantly met with his arms, holding you up.

“Careful,” he muttered, leading you to his chair, settling you down on the plush leather. He pulled his boxers up, along with his trousers, finding your own attire on the floor and placing it on your lap.

Smiling lazily, you started adorning your rather dirtied attire. “A good business proposal, no?” you mused, referring to your terrible excuse at the beginning of the evening.

Remembering, he chuckled, putting on his shirt. “I never bought that anyway, doll,” he merely said, buttoning to the top. “I knew you were jealous.”

Cheeks burning, you mumbled a little shut up, earning yourself a grin from the man. Finding your own shirt useless from Minho ripping it open, you said so to the man. “Look what you’ve done to my top”

He only spared it a glance before grabbing his tie, stained with your saliva. “Look what you’ve done to my tie.”

“That was your own fault,” you remarked, hoping your blazer would cover your front up. “You put the gag on me, prick.”

“Feeling brave already?” Minho purred, already putting you on a familiar edge. “Thought I’d fucked the brat out of you by now.”

Oh, he really did. He truly made you his little bitch not moments ago, and perhaps that would be rooted in you for the future.

But of course, you’re not going to tell him that.

You stood up from his chair, slipping into your heels. His eyes watched you as you walked to the door, opening it wide.

You looked back, catching something akin to wonder in his gaze.

“It’s going to take a little more than that, sir,” you declared, and left the room, closing the door behind you.

And as you prepared to leave the building, Lee Minho stayed rooted in his office, feeling his insides go wild all over.

It’s going to take a little more than that, sir.

Oh, God.

The man scoffed.

“Fucking brat.”

“I DEMAND TO BE LET IN!”

Once again, you rolled your eyes at Miss Kim, who was now adorned in magenta, long boots tapping against the marble floor.

“Mr. Lee is busy, Miss Kim,” you told her for the umpteenth time, refusing to believe that one seemingly intelligent woman, who had her own business, could be so thick-headed. “If you would just sit down—”

“You don’t tell me what to do,” she snapped, pointing an acrylic-painted finger at you. “I am a special client of Mr. Lee’s, and don’t need an appointment.”

You let out a sharp breath through your nose. It had not even been two days before she was back at the office, demanding Minho’s presence for the continuation of her meeting before you interrupted them.

A small smile caught onto your lips. Thank God you did.

“Hey!”

You perked up, brows instantly furrowing. “Miss Kim, just like the last time, I cannot help you. I can only give you entrance inside if you have an official appointment.”

Letting out a harsh laugh, she shook her head, wiggling the same finger at you. “Miss whatever your name is, I don’t like to have my time wasted, and you certainly are wasting my time. If I say I want to see Mr. Lee then you better damn well let me see Mr. Lee!”

Your mouth nearly opened to snap back at her when the glass door beside you swung open, and out stepped the CEO himself, who possessed the same irritation on his face as you did as he leaned his figure against the doorway.

“What is this constant racket?” he complained to no one in particular, and when his eyes fell upon his unofficial client he stopped. “Oh, good afternoon Miss Kim.”

“Mr. Lee, your little assistant is being difficult once again,” the woman declared, glaring at you. “She did this the last time I was here, and even when you let me in she’s doing the same thing again.”

“Oh, really now?” Minho got out. He turned to you, his dashing face exposing slight amusement at the claim. “Is that so, ____?”

You fought the urge to smirk at him. “She does not have an appointment,” you explained, spinning your pencil to avoid his searing gaze. “You told me only to let the people who’ve made appointments enter your office.”

Minho grinned for you. “That I did,” he confessed, eyes sliding to Miss Kim, whose smug smile faltered. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid the rules must be followed.”

The woman’s arrogance faded completely when the words left his mouth, finding herself defeated. “I see,” she said, still souring at the sight of you. “Well, I’ll phone up tomorrow morning.”

“You do that, Miss Kim,” he agreed, and watched as the woman turned on her heel, grumpily exiting the building.

The man found your eyes, and you saw them dance with mischief. You already felt your heartbeat pick up the pace when he walked over to you, planting his hands on your desk. “I need you inside the office, doll.”

Oh my God. “Whatever for, sir?” you asked innocently, trying to focus on your round of Solitaire, stark on the computer screen.

The table creaked underneath his fists at the title. “Let’s say it’s a…” he leaned in a little, careful of his employees beyond the hallway. His voice conveyed a slight husky tone. “A business proposal.”

Shivers crawled down your spine. Fuck him. Fuck him for bringing up your shitty excuse of two days ago. “I hate you,” you whispered harshly to him, despite the nerves.

His eyes never left you. “We’ll see about that when we start the meeting, doll.”

He stood straighter, opening his office door. “Now are you coming in?”

You studied the open door, the hidden opportunity that laid beyond. When you caught the growing lust in his gaze, you pressed your thighs together.

Standing up, you hurried to the doorway, earning chuckling from your boss. “Shut up, asshole,” you hissed, entering the fated office. Seeing the desk already had your cheeks burning.

“It’s sir to you, brat,” he only said, hands already on you as he closed the door.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids smut #stray kids oneshot #lee minho imagines #lee minho smut #lee minho dark hours #stray kids dark hours #stray kids hard hours #skz smut #skz imagines #skz oneshots #minho imagines #minho smut #skz hard hours #skz dark hours #TAGS BETTER WORK THIS TIME ISTG

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

#Trans #Lgbtq #blog #daily blog #Dollar Tree #Dollar CD #Dollar Tree Cd #receiver #pioneer #fisher #audio #music #CD #cassette #iBroadcast #nerd gurl #nerdy girl #ramble #rant #please read this to figure out what my life is like even though it quite honestly doesn't matter at all but might still be kinda interesting #Spotify

[gotham--fc]

Yeah like im pretty sure for like 95% of history England been like fuck you france and France has been like fuck you england (like that tik tok 😂) and then the remaining 5% they’ve fought together on stuff ( but even then they were like eh ig we’ll be allies ).

What’s your favourite era of history? Mines Europe during the inter war period (though I did this really interesting history topic where it was medicine from like the stone age to now and there was some mad stuff going on like during this a surgery the doctor managed to kill the patient, nurse and the person observing the operation and the whole Black Death plague stuff was really interesting too. Plus the invention of vaccines was wild cause Jenner was like yo can I inject your 9 year old kid with this virus and then infect him with another virus that kills tons of people? I can! Ta)

Nah we love rivalries (especially usa v Canada omg) .Plus yeah it must be dead weird to be on basically Canada v USA teams when they face each other ,and we love hockey fights, it’s not technically violence if it’s in the rules (only a two? Minute penalty if u don’t take ur gloves off) so like it’s allowed u just sit in the naughty hockey player seat on a timeout for a bit? I might be just bias tho cause I play hockey and would have a lil brawl if it was needed (I would get decked tho 100%- I’m small) . And full on fights are fun to see, I saw a fight in our mens team game that was on before my training and it was so sudden and it was like yes go on then lad. (Think the other player ran our goalie and our team had 0 of it)

And yeah Sochi looked a lot of fun to watch, I got into hockey late so haven’t watched an Olympics with nhl players in (the 2018 ones got me into it- and we do not speak of the womens outcome of that :( ) the ones in Vancouver looked amazing tho, I can imagine how wild the arenas got when pou and Crosby scored the golden goals. Also you know Wickenheiser wrote a book, I haven’t read it yet (looking to get it for Xmas) but if ur a fan of her it could be a good shout?

And yeah with the betting it’s like 😬 I’m either gonna be dead on or miles off 😑. I might see if I can get a teammate to do a wager with me, and have like the loser wear the jersey of the team they hate or something (cries in two of my best mates are Toronto fans and I’m a Montreal fan 😂). And yeah we defo like games where we have a lot of goals as a safety net (the 7-1 GB v Estonia game I watched was fun mainly bc we didn’t have to worry too much about it being close and them beating us, and as a GB fan watching GB play Canada it’s like ‘as long as we don’t get shutout/ go to double digits it’s ok’-(not sure where I was going here or the relevance but 😂🤷‍♀️) )

And nah tons of people haven’t watched to office so it’s sound, I haven’t watched all episodes tbf 😬.

And haha yeah I realised that when I was replying it was like woah I am jumping from topic to topic here lol, this is gonna make 0 sense😂.

Again sorry if this makes no sense (and if I’m using tons of English slang, realised I used Ta which I’m pretty sure is English/ British😂)

France and England being allies is like they both said “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” then realized the enemy of their enemy was each other and then they couldn’t take it back and had to work together

Or keep your friends close and your enemies closer 😂

I mean, I think my favourite era is probably the Tudor/Stuart era of England because honestly for an unsuccessful monarchy the tudors did a lot of shit and the stuarts being like yes… Catholics we hate them…. Ahem oh us? Nonono we’re not Catholic…. yet

But also I think like Canada’s confederation is pretty interesting because it’s interesting for me to see how Canada went from England and France to upper and lower Canada to what we’re at now, and I think it’s ironic that the English were so discriminatory to the French and then Quebec turned out to be one of the most intolerant provinces. I also really liked learning about the evolution of sports in Canada and creating Canada’s national sport because it was almost cricket. Cricket!! And then how the white man essentially stole lacrosse from the indigenous people and then made all these rules to exclude them, and same with hockey even though we’re not sure who invented hockey but I mean cmon do we really think the English or the French would’ve invented anything worthwhile?? They’re the ones who wanted cricket

This just in: I like sports lol

Oh I love fights, idk if they allow fights in the ohl but that’s literally the only pro hockey I’ve seen in person, and I know women’s hockey doesn’t allow it, but it’s been so long since I’ve been to an ohl game that I don’t remember if I’ve seen any fights but I do love fights and I wanna see some action

I don’t watch men’s hockey so I could not care less about men’s hockey at the Olympics but yeah I watched the women’s team but I am upset at myself for not knowing or caring about hockey outside the Olympics because I could’ve watched the cwhl before it folded 😭

I did not know the love of my life wrote a book!! Adding it to my Christmas list!

None of my irl friends care about sports so I can’t really bet with them because if we watch a game together they’ll just root for the same team as me. And I typically either root for the same teams as my brother or we don’t know anything about the leagues the others watch, sometimes we’ll watch a neutral game or like men’s soccer that neither of us watch and just pick a team and see who wins for bragging rights

Yeah I haven’t really seen a lot of classic shows like the office or how I met your mother or idk others that everyone has seen

And no like I’m following you, I’m getting it, idk if everyone else does but I’m keeping track of all this lol. Honestly tho I don’t know if I’m using Canadian slang when I’m talking because that’s just normal talking for me but it’s probably not for you haha

#asks #anonymous

[skamamoroma]

Sending love to @londongirl2001 for tagging ❤

1. what is the color of your hairbrush? Haha starting off random, i see. It’s a peachy colour with white bits.

2. a food you never eat? Shellfish. I’m allergic and have been since I was a kid. I haven’t a clue what it tastes like!

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? I’m a bit of both. I run quite warm but if I get properly cold I take FOREVER to warm up. 

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? Cleaning my bathroom. THE EXCITEMENT. Contain yourselves!

5. what is your favorite candy bar? I’m guessing candy bar can relate to chocolate because, if so, Wispa. Hands down.

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? Yes but not loads... I’ve been to a few football matches and I used to live in Wimbledon so I’ve been to the tennis before. Other than that, I’m not a bit sports person.

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Quarantined for 34 days alone. It was probably me singing I think!

8. what is your favorite ice cream? Pistachio al gelato! 

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? Cloudy lemonade. I’m a little addicted at the moment and have been drinking it warm when I had a really bad cough/hayfever and fatigue with honey!

10. do you like your wallet? It’s a little blue thing with a star on the zip. I’m not really one for designer stuff or fancy leather stuff... but it suits me and works. I’m kinda only ever interested in if something is cute and practical...!

11. what was the last thing you ate? A chocolate chip cookie!

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Oh I don’t even remember what clothes shopping is like haha. But I did treat myself for a few new bits for staying inside from Monki recently (aka the place half of my wardrobe is from)

13. the last sporting event you watched? Oh god knows. I think 6 Nations rugby in a pub in Brighton.

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Basic sweet from the cinema. I’m not a huge popcorn person.

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? To my group of best friends.

16. ever go camping? LOADS when I was a kid, a few times when I was a teenager and at a few festivals then I genuinely can’t remember after that...

17. do you take vitamins? Hahahaha. I have a hormone condition and I’ve been taking a ridiculous amount of supplements for that so yes. Loads. 

18. do you go to church every sunday? I’m atheist so, no. 

19. do you have a tan? I’m painfully Northern so no. I’m pasty and this whole staying inside thing is meaning I’m practically translucent!

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza? OH GOD. This is hard. I have to betray my Italian food loving soul and say chinese food. Mainly because there’s more of a mix aka veg/carbs

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? Nope, but I do drink fizzy drinks (whenever i have them at home) out of a huge goblet glass

22. what color socks do you usually wear? ALLSORTS. I have quite the ridiculous sock selection. I’m wearing some today that say “you crafty bitch” that one of my best friends bought me when we were in Brighton

23. ever drive above the speed limit? Oh definitely. Hardly ever intentionally but I’m sure I’ve done it a few times. 

24. what terrifies you? I used to have quite a few morbid fears that would impact me hugely but I taught myself to get over two of them (flying and needles) which I’m so proud of myself for doing... but I think seeing those I love suffer is right up there, spiders/bugs in general and then I have a few weird ones like trypophobia and a touch of claustrophobia. 

25. look to your left, what do you see? My kitchen!

26. what chore do you hate? I really don’t mind most chores but I hate to iron clothes so I rarely do it and also I taking the rubbish out... otherwise, I am a bit weird and I like to clean around my flat. 

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? Normally TV shows!

28. what’s your favorite soda? Lemonade - all kinds!

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? I don’t have a car as I live in London so I can’t do a drive-thru and I don’t really go to many fast food places to be honest. I only ever really get fast food when I travel on trains or the odd home delivery

30. who’s the last person you talked to? MYSELF. 

31. favorite cut of beef? I’m not a huge meat eater in general but I do like steak every now and then. 

32. last song you listened to? Always Will from the musical Bright Star

33. last book you read? My Italian dictionary....haha

34. favorite day of the week? Friday or Saturday - or Wednesdays when I have Italian class!

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? Good lord, no. My brain gets scrambled.

36. do you like your coffee? OH GOD. I love coffee in so many ways. I’m a real iced latte fiend. I love a Cappuccino after a meal. I love mochas on the regular. I like a good milky coffee in the winter at work. TONS.

37. favorite pair of shoes? I have a pair of pink converse I love and my Birkenstocks in the summer. 

38. at what time do you normally go to bed? OH GOD MY SLEEP PATTERN IS SCREWED. Normally, around midnight when we’re not in a global pandemic!!! 

39. at what time do you normally get up? For work, around 7.30-8. Now.... christ on a bike, any time. 

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets. 100%. My favourite sunsets I’ve ever seen were in Italy (I watched so many from the top deck of the boats on Lake Garda) and in Iceland at the Glacier Lagoon near Diamond Beach. Both were ridiculously beautiful.

41. how many blankets are on your bed? Only my quilt but in the Winter, I have a pink sparkly blanket I put over the bottom :)

42. describe your kitchen plates. HA. My kitchen wear is what I call ‘granny chic’. I have so many mismatched plates but all of them are either pink or pastel colours, I have citrus fruit side plates and floral crockery. Even all of my cookware like casserole dishes etc are patterned and granny-ish!

43. do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? Gin. Hands down. I love it with allsorts. I’m a bit picky though and have my favourites. I like to drink it with garnishes though. Juniper berries, pink peppercorns etc. Also, I love a Shandy every now and then and I love certain brands of sweet sparkling Italian wine. Also cocktails. My friends always say I’ll drink anything pink.

44. do you play cards? Not really. We were never really a card playing household so I never learned but I am a board game person!

45. what color is your car? I don’t have one. I live in London and really don’t need one AND can’t afford one. I used to have a little black Micra called Daisy though!

46. can you change a tire? I could once upon a time but I’ve forgotten!

47. what is your favorite province? Province is difficult to work out for the UK... I guess it’d loosely translate to ‘region’ and that’s DIFFICULT. I guess I’d say the North East of England. 

48. favorite job you’ve ever had? I LOVED working in a bookshop when I was at Uni. I’d wanted that job for SO long and I adored it. I also love my current job a lot of the time too. 

49. how did you get your biggest scar? My old dog. He had sharp nails and scratched the back of my hand but it wasn’t his fault!

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? I haven’t interacted with another human being today in person but, via the wonders of social media, I gave advice to once of my best friends about life etc and I THINK I helped a bit and gave her support so I’m hoping that made her happy!!!

I’m tagging : anyone who reads it - tell us things, I love reading about people! (also, feel free to ignore, of course!)

#personal

[imhereformysciencefriends]

Zack’s eyes didn’t leave the TV screen when Ivy came into their shared room. She set her bag near the door with a soft thud, and she watched her brother thumb deftly over the buttons while her textbook for mechanical engineering flopped out of her bag onto the wood floor.

Left, left left, up x x left, swirl toggle xleftxleft.

“Dropped out today,” Zack said. He wasn’t blinking, and probably wouldn’t remember to blink until his eyes were red and raw from staring at the screen.

“Good riddance,” Ivy said honestly, “that place wasn’t meant for you.”

She meant it. And honestly, she couldn’t care less about Zack’s incompatibility with the public school system.

If you two are twins, why are you in college and he’s in high school?

“I know we thought it’d be fun, me havin’ it all bookended-like. Failed kindergarten. Failed senior year. Seems a shame to ruin it by addin’ a dropout to the end of it.”

Ivy knew that even though she didn’t care that Zack wasn’t good in school, that she was turning in year old projects for easy-A’s in college classes she shouldn’t have any right to enroll in just yet while he couldn’t make it through a single day of high school without some kind of “behavioral issue,” that didn’t mean Zack didn’t care. That he was failing something “everybody” should be able to do. That she was so smart and good at stuff and brilliant while he was the dumb black sheep of the family.

“How’d you get the parents to agree to it?” Ivy asked as she sat down at her desk, gears and wires and tiny, easily-lost metal bits littering the surface. Her current project was a grappling hook that would attach to the inside of the wearer’s sleeve, and adjust to their size, distributing the force of the grapple through the whole arm and shoulder, rather than yanking someone’s wrist out of their socket.

Zack snorted at her joke. They both knew their parents had no idea Zack had dropped out, and that all the paperwork was forged. Zack was excellent at forgery. Excellent at anything that took intense focus, unwavering hands, and a detailed eye. So naturally, naturally, naturally, it was just because Zack was a lazy goof, that he kept failing school, and not because the system was specifically designed to break people like him.

Ivy was glad; he decided to get out of there before it could break him.

“You gonna tell Dad?”

“Are you gonna if I don’t?” Zack asked, looking away from the screen, just a glance, for the first time in what was likely hours.

“Course not.”

Zack nodded, turning back to his game. Even though his eyes hadn’t been on it, his clever fingers hadn’t missed a single beat, his score still perfect, 100%.

Ivy opened her laptop—twice as large as the factory had made it, decked out and updated with her creations—and flipped a stark white baseball cap onto her head. It wasn’t particularly fitting for someone who was supposed to be a fan of the Boston Red Sox, but well, she didn’t care that much for sports.

<<Hey Vine>>

<<Hey Player, any good news today?>>

<<Are you in need of some?>>

Ivy thought about that.

<<Yes and no. It’s been a good day. Classes went well, my professor FLIPPED over that red drone I made however long ago. My brother gave me some good news>>

<<But>>

<<He’s not particularly happy about it. I am, but he’s not, and it’s hard to be happy about something that’s makin’ him upset y’know?>>

<<I understand that. Hey, he’s still good at driving, yeah?>>

<<If it runs, he can steer it.>> Ivy sent proudly.

<<And you’re looking for an excuse to get out of the house and go on an adventure?>>

<<...I never said anything of the like>>

<<But you’re not against the idea?>>

<<Player, what’s your game?>>

<<You’re our gadget girl. And I’ve got a friend who could use an outfitter and a getaway car.>>

<<Your mystery girlfriend?>> Ivy teased.

<<Mystery BEST friend. Not girlfriend. Best. I think you’ll like her. She’s up here with me right now, just handed me a huge giant enormous big cache of information I’m working on decoding. The encryption on this thing is the craziest I’ve ever seen.>>

<<Must be impressive, if you’re praisin’ it.>>

<<Oh it is. So, you in? Feel like traveling the world, actually putting those gadgets to use?>>

Ivy turned, just a little, and looked at her brother. Near as she could tell, he hadn’t blinked since she came in the room. He hated it here, more than she did. Tiny apartment with loud parents too stressed from their lives to really love their kids, school system that made him feel stupid and useless, familiar town and crowded streets when his favorite speed was fast and his favorite place was away.

<<We’re in.>>

—

“Told you they’d be down. I think Vine’s brother owns a car. I think. Or we could use some of these sweet sweet V.I.L.E. funds to give him a little thank you for playing chauffeur.”

“I’m down for that,” Carmen said. “Hey, how do you think I would look if I grew my hair out?”

“Like you, but with long hair.” Player spun around in his chair and Carmen looked at him with a grin, then turned back to the mirror.

“I think I’d like to look like me, with long hair.”

“Go for it,” Player kicked his feet up and leaned back, white baseball cap tipping forward as he crossed his arms behind his head. “We should also upgrade my rig. I don’t know if I have the processing power to decrypt this thing and do other things at the same time.

“Go for it,” Carmen echoed back at him. She approached his desk and leaned past him, eyes on his screen. “So, I’m going to Boston.”

—

Ivy didn’t know what she’d been expecting with Player’s mystery not-girlfriend. Probably someone with the general physique of the white hat hackers. They lived their lives in front of their computers. Ivy knew they tended to range from cute and fat (like herself) to unwashed and obese.

This person was not unwashed and obese. This person was not cute and fat. This person was hot and ripped. Just totally and completely shredded. She looked like she’d been sparring with bears since she was in diapers. She looked like she could climb a rock wall one-handed. She looked like she could run a mile in three minutes. She looked like she could kick Ivy’s ass.

“Hi, I’m Carmen. Carmen Sandiego.”

—

<<YOU DIDN’T TELL ME SHE WAS HOT>>

Part 2 | Part 3

#carmen sandiego #carmen sandeigo 2019 #ivy #carmivy #carmen #zack #player #cs #me #haro #my writing #haro writes #lets see if this formatted the way i want it to

[dreamingdolls]

Top Ten Games of the Decade

Inspired by my friend @luniil I figured I would try and write down my top ten games of the decade before we ring in the new year. This list is quite obviously going to be extremely subjective. Note that I am limiting myself to one game per franchise to avoid potential bias there.

With that said, let’s kick this thing off, shall we?

#10 - World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

Whatever my thoughts on WoW are today, I will never deny that for a long time it was my main game, barely playing anything else at all. Mists of Pandaria then was by far my favorite expansion. Challenge Modes were a blast, the new Monk class quickly became my favorite and for the most part the writing was great. Pandaria was shrouded in mystery - as Thrall told us in the trailer - and much of the writing reflected that. After years of expansions pulling from the past, this stuff felt new and fresh, while not out of place either. Throne of Thunder is and will probably always be my favorite raid instance of all time as well, with quite honestly every single fight there being enjoyable from start to finish.

#9 - Undertale

The tears. Oh FUCK the tears when I reached that ending. And then the tears when I learned that wasn’t the end at all and there was more if I rebooted the game - they got me with that one. I was extremely late to the party with Undertale, only starting playing it as late as half a year ago, but I was inspired by Rey to try it out and I absolutely loved it. Bonus points for the 4th wall breaking throughout - a trope I admittedly might enjoy too much.

#8 - Hearthstone

This game got me into card games. I mean, I dabbled with some Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh cards as a kid but that was more of a collecting thing than actually playing the games. The polish on this game is honestly amazing from the voice acting on every card, the animations, the trinkets and odds to mess around with on every board... It’s a great game to play when I’m not really in the mood for something too intense and just want to sit back and play some joke decks.

#7 - WildStar / TERA

I’m cheating a little here by listing two games as a pair because both are here for very similar reasons, and I wouldn’t really feel right listing either above the other. I play MMOs. Like, it’s probably my favorite genre. I love the social interactions and as I play on a relatively limited budget compared to most of my friends, the constant updates and stuff to do is a very big draw for me as well. However, I’ve always felt the combat could be a bit... More involved beyond just hitting buttons on a hotbar. WildStar and TERA then seemed like the answer to my cries, taking a more action combat approach to the genre. I *loved* playing these games and it’s unfortunate the communities in both seemed to dry up so easily. Evidently I am in a minority enjoying these, but I have fond memories of both. RIP WildStar.

#6 - Pokemon B/W2

I had to really think hard which Pokemon game I would be listing here. One way or another one would get a spot but I wasn’t sure which. I loved mega evolutions, and regional forms were an amazing idea too. For all the hate Sword/Shield have gotten, I’ve still gotten a ton of fun out of them as well. But ultimately? All of these I liked for a gimmick. Megas, Regionals, Raids... Each of them a great idea but none of them defining the core experience. Black/White 2, on the other hand, was the first game where I wanted to get my main team to 100, and where I actually wanted to put thought into my main team as opposed to just kinda rolling with whatever I run into. The story was great, the returning characters were great, and the variety of Pokemon in a playthrough was incredible. Easily one of the best Pokemon games of all time.

#5 - Super Smash Bros Ultimate

There isn’t a world where this couldn’t make the list. I grew up with Smash from the N64 days. I love the crossover aspect and seeing everyone return in one game, plus newcomers including, at last, BANJO? This game is why I bought a Switch in the first place, and it continues to be one of the best decisions I’ve made. For the first time I’ve dabbled in competitive play as well, and I’ve been loving every moment of it, even the losses. World of Light was a blast to play through and having each character’s Classic mode follow it’s own theme was brilliant. Ultimate indeed.

#4 - Mario Galaxy 2

HOLD THE PITCHFORKS! Had it not been for my one game per franchise rule Odyssey would have made it on to the list. However, between the two, Galaxy 2 easily wins out as the better game. Odyssey had a lot - to the point of fatigue in some cases. Yes, there are 880 moons versus 242 stars, but a good chunk of the moons felt tacked on towards the end of the game. Galaxy 2 on the other hand was a blast from the very first star all the way to the last. It took the idea of Galaxy and made it easily ten times better, and where most people are hoping for an Odyssey 2 or Sunshine remake... I’m lowkey praying for a Galaxy 3.

#3 - Skyrim

Skyrim is not perfect. I’m going to say that right away. Plenty of bugs including some gamebreaking ones are about. But with that said, I still got an easy 350 hours of joy out of the game and still have stuff left unexplored. See, being that I’m gaming on a budget longevity is very much a part in how I rate games. I’d rather buy a good game that lasts me forever than an amazing game of 5 hours with no replay value, and Skyrim is full of the former. And while it might not be perfect, it’s still got a lot of good things going for it on top of that replay value. That is why it deserves it’s spot on my list.

#2 - Life is Strange

Excuse me while I cry my eyes out please? There isn’t much I will write on the actual story here as I don’t want to spoil things for Rey (with whom I’m replaying the game as of late) or any other reader that might pick the game up, but few games have made me as emotional as this series. There’s some cheesy jokes that might be trying a bit too hard, but in general the actual story is brilliant.

#1 - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers

Dear reader, let’s run back through the previous points I’ve made in this post for a minute before we properly dive into the number one pick here. I’ve mentioned a love for MMOs and their social aspects. I’ve mentioned a love for stories that aren’t afraid to shake the norm up a little. I’ve told you about valuing replay-ability, which the job system in FFXIV definitely offers. And, I’ve mentioned a love for games that make me cry my heart out.

Shadowbringers got all of that and then some.

Never did I think a MMO’s story could bring me to tears quite as badly as Shadowbringers did. I always kinda accepted well, a MMO is just that first, RPG second, prioritizing the online experience above a coherent story. Shadowbringers took that and threw it in my face, telling me no, damnit, I can do both. Even characters I wasn’t all that fond of on a personal level, the game does such a great job at establishing them that if they kill anyone off my face is full of tears in a matter of seconds. But they don’t even need to go that far. The storywriting is strong enough that even without shock value moments I’ve bawled my eyes out on my keyboard. Shadowbringers is a heartbreak in the best way possible, and that’s not even mentioning the music or hell, the actual gameplay yet.

“Remember.. Remember us. Remember, that we once lived.”

[jainarden-blog]

A Little Bit Of Organization Wouldn’t Hurt A Bit

Today is a searching and researching online day for an end to the endless clutter I have lived with FOREVER! I am so ready to clear the decks both physically/mentally and offline/online and get to some #extremeproductivity.

This is going to involve a lot of thinking and a lot of trying out things to streamline it into this no-fluff ecosystem I am dreaming about, even as I am typing this. A big part of this is to go paperless and also to start using my IOS phone a lot more. The below may seem like a lot of places but the object of my game is to have places to put things where I can go back and retrieve them. My mind and life goes so fast a lot of the time that the clutter, even when it is just mental has a tendency to pile up and to overwhelm me. By clearing physical mess (most importantly paper) and mental overflow, I can create the space I need to be the best me. Two big goals are time to do online study and being fit mind and body.

Read on for tools and thoughts about them:

Tumblr - Reasons for Tumblr: braindumps, writing habit, connection my introvert heart desires at times, and ease of use. Tumblr is good just to write or to spend time reading. I find a lot of the people on Tumblr are pretty deep, creative and wildly entertaining. Tumblr is a good place for introverts.

Saved.io - to try and curb the worthless habit of saving fifty trillion bookmarks and adding to them daily without ever really delving into those websites or using them. No extensions for this. You just add saved.io after the http:// or https:// and to make folder (tags/labels) put a name in front of .saved.io. Super easy. Sign up for an account and have an online spot for bookmarking your heart out

Google Keep - I need something to take down my own thoughts in a browser as I am surfing/researching and do not want to make a big deal out of it. There is a Chrome extension or you can right-click to add notes with tags. Braindumps and a place to satisfy data pack-rat urges. Follows the line of thinking that I am using Google for a lot of things and it’s already there anyway.

Google Calendar - I have multiple Google accounts but one where all my emails and appointments go. I synced this as my main calendar on IOS instead of the default calendar. One calendar to rule them all! Same for the one gmail. There is also an extension to add events quickly, along with the right click option.

Feedbro - RSS feed reader - too bad Google did away with theirs. This takes away some bookmarks for favorite sites/blogs and gives me an easy and fast way to know that I am keeping up with things that are important to me. Clicking the extension lets you “Find feeds on this page,” save feeds and also to open up your feedreader. Feeds can be categorized into folders.

LastPass - I have used this for years on my computers. It is the best password keeper as far as I am concerned. AND FREE! Today, I put it on my phone. I cannot say enough about how great this tool is for your information.

Scanbot - app for scanning in documents by taking a pic of them. This will definitely come in handy for those on-the-go document situations. Things like bills, manuals, purchase papers, etc. I have at home will, most of the time, be scanned in using my printer’s scanner.

Bullet Journal (BuJo) - my offline to-do / to-did and short journal things. I have one for me and one for my computer. The one for my computer has already saved me this year when I was trying to figure out what program was conflicting with another. My memory was helped by my documentation on what programs I had downloaded and when. I also document computer problems: what happened and what helped. Everything in one book - I think everyone should have one of these and I am surprised I never thought of it before this year. My personal BuJo is not one of internet proportions. I tried that and failed miserably and lost all site of what the book was supposed to be for to begin with. I ditched the trying to make it pretty and doing weekly/monthly spreads. I am back to the original version that Carroll Ryder set forth with his inspiration and am a thousand times better for it. This is something I can hold in my hands and look back on from time to time to see exactly how my time on earth went.

SimpleNote - I have a Reminder label in this for to-do’s, but I mostly just write to-do’s on the calendar or on a post-it/index card to throw away. I also document to-do/to-did’s in my personal BuJo. No this program is going to be something I use for some time, I do believe. I decided I am going to document work with this, especially conversations. I never remember the specifics in time so this will be my second work brain. Tags will be people (initials, first name, or my nickname for them). I can then go back to specific conversations that I want to refresh myself on and also for people notes such as date of birth, family (kid/husband/wife name), and/or specific things about them. Also, dates of meetings, project dates,etc. This is in its infancy - I have high hopes for this going forward.

AirTable - This website/app has high potential. I really like that it is set up like an Excel spreadsheet. I have projects set up in it for tracking daily spending, pantry inventory, gifts, etc. etc. etc. This is so customizable!!!! In my pantry list, I can add columns to be able to know what my lowest price on an item was - so in essence, a pantry checker with a price book included. I figure the way I use it will grow as I get used to it and find its value.

mySymptoms -  $$ App for tracking your health. This is the one thing I paid for. I can’t wait to get enough stuff in it for a good PDF download. It is customizable to you, just like the AirTable. You can add/delete the things you want to track and there is a big list of them: drinks, food, medications, supplements, mood, symptoms, bowel, energy, sleep, stress, exercise, environment, and other. Some of these can be extra helpful for people who struggle with certain diseases or triggers. This is certainly a make-it-all-about-you app that can show correlations between a factor(s) causing another factor(s). Or even for people who forget when or how long they took medications or supplements. In my new found goal of creating a life that serves my health - this one is a winning part of it. I will be a participant in my healthcare.

Instagram - because, at times, I like to take photos of food and things I see that I like. And because, I hate Facebook. IG also gives me an easy way to change the way the photos look and share back to myself for other uses and ways to share my account online with my online people-ha. Braindump for photos.

Twitter - because it’s fun... and sometimes informative. Twitter is the quick connection to the rest of the world and let’s anyone fit into it. My favorite parts of the twit are hashtag and whatever “new episode” tv show I am watching. It’s fun to join in with whatever other people think of an episode and throw your two cents in too. I never feel like I am sitting at my house alone on Friday & Saturday nights with #livepd. With the added gifs on posts, it can get quite hilarious.

GoodReads - This is hooked up to my Amazon account and my Amazon account is hooked up to my local library account through Overdrive. So... free books. I read every night on my Kindle app (you can read in your browser too). The books are automatically added to my GoodReads account. At this time, I am 8 books ahead on my goal to read 100 books this year. 

Listal - As for movies, the best site I have found is Listal. You can tag, star and make lists for the movies/tv you watch (along with books, products, people, dvds, and games, if you wish). Many members do a Halloween movie list each year.

Pinterest - this place fulfills my yearnings to save a million quotes, presented in a pretty way and is the easiest way to make kick ass vision boards. I have multiple boards for this very thing: HouseVB, ClothesVB, ThingsVB and so on.

This is the big starting out list. I didn’t want to leave anything out because I need to be clear on what I am really using and be consistent on what accounts I use for what services. Pinterest may be a big black hole, but once set up with mostly productive boards, I can relax knowing that they are helping me visualize the things I want while also letting me do something that is fun (even if sometimes just losing time surfing the internet).The same with Twitter and Instagram. They are black holes for time. But this way they are serving a purpose of entertainment and braindumps to clear the way for good space in my life. I will follow up with this as being productive online is both an important topic for me and also a much needed topic discussion. In my research, I wish more people would post about their systems to help the rest of us out :D

#OCD #clutter #paperless #organize

[sanjayyyy-13]

These Batboys gotta chill

Hi guys! This imagine was requested and I overestimated how fast I can type. So it may seem a little crappier than the other Batboy imagines. It is basically the batboys being protective of they S/O . I hope you guys enjoy and be sure to send in some requests!

Bruce: This guy is OVER protective of you. I’m talking, personal chauffeurs, body guards (when he isn’t around) and a tracer on you at all times. He has to be like this because he is a very wealthy business man who gets targeted all the time. You don’t love all this extra security and you can’t get a minute to yourself. But you appreciate it. There was a time you got “attacked” by somebody who was in love with Bruce, I mean who wouldn’t be? When he heard what happened he made sure they were apprehended and he hired a whole new security team.

“Bruce, it’s fine. You don’t have to press charges.”

“No. I won’t have this conversation. You could of gotten hurt or worse.”

“Babe, leave it”

“I’m not going to. I can’t live with myself if anything happens to you”

Whenever you guys are together he does not have to worry because he knows he can protect you because he’s Batman! However one thing that he does have to worry about is all the people trying to hit on you. Because damn.. you always be looking like a snack. Cue his resting “i’m going to kill you if you don’t back off” face. He’ll usually give you exactly 30 seconds to handle it by yourself. Usually that will make the offender back off but on the rare occasion it doesn’t, expect him to be extra touchy with you. It’ll start off with a arm around your waist and then him holding you against him. This will finally get the guy or girl to back off.

For example:

Some dude or dudette: “Hey there, I saw you looking at me across the bar and you are really sexy”

You: “Umm. Im sorry but I think you might have got the wrong impr-“

Some dude or dudette: “Whatever, can I get your number?”

Bruce: “I don’t think you let her/him finish. They were about to tell you to get out of here” *signature bat glare*

Some dude or dudette: “Oh um.. yeah bye.”

You: “I could of handled it, you don’t have to butt in to every-mmrgh” he cuts you off by planting a very passionate kiss on your lips.

Apart from his overprotectiveness this dude is pretty chill and I think he would let you have your freedom but still have you under a watchful eye.

Dick: Bro… he goes 0 to 100 real quick. He may seem all sunshine and unicorns but he has a dark side that is usually uncovered when he needs to protect you. For starters he hates it if you go out alone because you could get mugged, after all this is Gotham. This happened a couple of times but you do have a great right hook, so bye bye bad guys. You may have come home with cuts and bruises, he immediately started babying you and swearing revenge in whatever dick wads did this to you. He gave you a taser gun so you could get whatever shit you needed done faster. Even after teaching you self defense and equipping you with some weapons he still follows you from the top of the buildings during patrol.

The first time this happened you wanted to have fun with him so you sarcastically stated “Oh my god help! I’m being stalked by a spandex clad idiot”. He started laughing and dropped down in front of you. “Hey! I may be in spandex, but I am no idiot” he stated offendedly. Chuckling he pulled you into an embrace and gave you a kiss on your forehead. It was a cute and cuddly moment but got interrupted by a buzz from his comms. “I gotta go angel” he says into your hair. Sigh. “Okay, go kick ass my spandex clad idiot”. He scoffs and disappears into the night.

When you guys are out in pubs he always makes sure that you are next to him. His hand never leaves your waist throughout the night. But as usual some drunk dude comes around asking for your number. Dick won’t even allow you to say one word because he will already be giving threats to this dude.

“Ay ma lemme get that number!”

“Back off before I shove my foot up your ass”

“Jeez, chill. Yo girl you better restrain your man”

You usually have to hold him back from starting a fight with anyone who even glances your way.   (now all I can think about is him aggressively dancing and giving murderous looks to whoever looks at you… I’m dead) Sure, it’s cute but it gets annoying after some time because he never let’s loose afterwards however his love for you kinda cancels things out.

Jason: He’s a pretty chill dude when it comes to people hitting on you because he knows you can handle it pretty well. However he doesn’t tolerate it if anybody gets physical, for example if anybody touches you inappropriately and you are visibly uncomfortable. When it ever come to it he will stalk up towards whomever it may be and give them hell. First he will shoot them murderous looks from beside you or he will push them back and start a fight with them. Once it got so bad that the other guy ended up with a black eye and broken nose. Jason didn’t allow you to go out alone (at night) anywhere after that.

“Back off, they are clearly uncomfortable”

“Dude, chill they ain’t saying nothing”

“Get off of them before I punch you right in the nose”

And the rest is history.

Whenever he comes back from a long patrol and is exhausted he will be sure to collapse right on top of you and smother you with love just to make sure your alive because of the tragic things he see and experiences out there. His favorite position is with you sitting down and his head resting on your chest with your legs spread apart. This is because he can clearly hear you heart beating. There is no need to communicate, you guys are so in sync now that you know exactly how one another is feeling and what they need. (kinda like sims.. hehe)

Sometimes he has horrible nightmares with you becoming a victim to Jokers games. He always wakes up in a cold sweat and a beating heart, but when he realizes your steady breathing next to him he immediately becomes relaxed.

Since his job as Red Hood include making a lot of enemies and some may know his identity because he used to be “Arkham Knight”, he equips you with guns and knives. You have learnt a bunch of self defense techniques with his help and could pretty much become a vigilante. But he would never let that happen, you’re too precious.

Tim: When it comes to people hitting on you he wouldn’t even remotely know how to handle it. He’s such a cinnamon bun that he would let you handle it. Only if you ever really needed help and looked really uncomfortable will he become quite aggressive. Once you guys were at Bruce’s gala and a guy wouldn’t stop stalking you and you couldn’t really go anywhere without him needing to start a conversation with you. So Timmy boy came over and gave this guy a piece of his mind. After that outburst he immediately looked at you wondering if he handled the situation appropriately, but considering the guests expression it was a no. Honestly who the fuck cares because he took you both home for a comfortable night with Netflix and popcorn.

“Tim, thanks for that save back at the gala”

“No problem (Y/N), I will always be there to protect you”

*cue your cuddle session or make out session you preference*

Just like his brothers he make sure to teach you some fighting techniques and deck you out with some gear. He would always ask you to keep a tracer with you because he doesn’t wasn’t to ever lose you. He isn’t crazy overprotective like his dad but he still keeps a close eye on you. He makes sure that you get your freedom and free time but usually he becomes sad without his ball of energy near him all the time. But he always keeps your needs as priority numero uno.

“Babe, Im going out with my friends”

“Really? Now? Make sure to keep the tracer in you purse, don’t drink to much and take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything”

“Okay, mom”

“Seriously (Y/N), I need you to be safe”

“I will, I’m not the one who puts their life in dangerous every single night. Love you”

Damian: He’s just like his old pops when it comes to being protective. But he is so much more  stricter. He has a certain set of rules that he expects you to follow. This includes don’t go out late at night, carry a weapon at all times, make sure you inform him where you are at all the time, blah blah blah. Do you follow them all the time… hell no. Gosh you would go absolutely insane.

His reaction: He gets mad… whats new? You make it up to him and he becomes better. But he won’t let it pass if you brought it upon yourself. Like once you were mad at Damian and you went to a friends party at the club. You tried to make him jealous by grinding upon some poor innocent soul. First he locked eyes with you and gave you a warning. You ignored him and let things escalate, he walked over and that person almost shit their pants because Damian whispered some pretty scary things to them.

“Damian, I’m sorry.”

“(Y/N), you can’t expect me to forgive you. You completely betrayed my trust and did something that almost made me kill someone.”

“Look, how can I make it up to you. I will do any-“

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are always safe”

Ugh he can be so infuriating and smart that it annoys you. But you can see the truth to what he is saying so you start following what he says as long as you can still have your freedom. Whenever he has nightmares about you, he usually wakes you up so he can talk about it with someone. Sometimes he may even break down crying and that’s totally fine but it’s so heartbreaking because he loves you so much and will do legit anything to protect you.

Tags: 

@oachi

#batfamily #batfam headcanons #batman and reader #batboys #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #bruce wayne and reader #bruce wayne #nightwing and reader #jason todd and reader #red hood #red hood and reader #tim drake and reader #Red Robin #damian wayne x reader #robin

[nooblet-sims]

57 Facts

I wasn’t tagged in this one but I’ve seen a lot of people struggling to hit 57 total facts. Fact 1. I’m competitive so I want to see if I can get to 57 easily haha

All under the cut because ain’t no body want to scroll that much.

I’m competitive

I’m also very stubborn so not really a great combo haha

my star signs are Cancer sun and ascending and Aquarius moon

I have a cat (his name is Casper and he is kind of a butt)

I also have a dog (her name is Larna and she is a big goof.. no really she is like a 40KG / 80LBS rottweiler. She might be the sweetest dog I have ever met though)

I have 1 sibling - my little brother, he is five years younger than me and way too tall

I’m 24 and I can’t decided if I’ve accomplished stuff in my life or not

I bought a house when I was 22! It is 4 (and a half) bedrooms and 3 bathrooms

my brother, my brothers girlfriend and my dad all live in my house / rent rooms.

I’m very single lmao. I kind of like it that way though as I 100% always put work and my hobbies before people.

It’s been over a month since I last called my mom because I’ve been busy with work and hobbies (see fact 10 LOL)

I’m difficult to buy presents for because I just buy what I want whenever I want it

I collect owl statues

I’m attempting to nurture my garden.... so far I’ve managed to keep some herbs alive for about 2 months

Doctors scare me

The dark also scares me, I sleep with a night light (yes I am 24 and sleep with a night light lmao)

I’m more scared of large spiders than poisonous spiders. This is not great considering where I live and the fact we have huntsman spiders.

I live in Australia

More specifically I live in a smallish tourist town by the beach

It’s been over a year since I went to the beach despite the fact I live so close to said beach

I work at a school doing administration work

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, I’ve never really had a passion for any career.

I have a tarot deck and use it to do weekly readings for myself

I have a pendulum and ask it questions most days

I have over 100 nail polish bottles. I used to paint my nails with great detail (i.e. drawing pacman or nyan cat on my nails) but since I started working full time I just haven’t.

I don’t like wearing pants, only dresses.

The only pants I own are PJ pants

I love love love Christmas, mainly the decorations

I usually start getting excited for Christmas in February.

My favorite colour is green

I haven’t shaved my legs in 3+ months (spoilers no one cares)

my biological dad identifies as a woman (no hate for this one, you can unfollow me if you have any issues with this) 

talking about parents..... mine broke up when I was 5.

If I go to a cafe I will always order a milkshake instead of a coffee

I love sweet food!

I wear silly hats most of the year. I have many Christmas themed hats for December and then for winter time I have lots of silly beanies such as a beanie shaped like a viking helmet. Yes I do wear these to work, my coworkers just ignore me now

Citrine is my favorite gemstone / crystal at the moment! It is just so positive and happy

I collect crystals I guess

I’m an empath

I’m a very messy person in general.

I pretty much only watch documentaries and anime

I went to counseling for over a year to help deal with my anxiety and depression

I cry in movies when the animal dies not when the main character dies

Children scare me

So does pregnancy

I don’t want kids

I obviously enjoy playing games XD. Especially the sims

It is rare for me to have matching socks

I live very frugally, it usually amazes the people at work that my average weekly shopping bill for 4 people is $100

I can’t watch horror movies they make me very paranoid

I’m actually terrible with anything scary. My spook factor is very low like Sherlock Holmes scares me LOL

I’ve recently started playing Black Desert Online again. I’m not very good and I mainly like doing quests and looking at the scenery haha

I read all the story in games. Like even the side quests.

I never finished high school, I dropped out after grade 10

I can’t do maths, people tend not to believe me on this but as soon as we go higher than 10 I really can’t understand. Like someone was giving me $5 for our birthday cake fund at work but she gave me a $20 note and I’m like wow I’m really sorry I only have x4 $5 notes I don’t think I have change for you. Yep.

I don’t like putting my hair up, it gives me a headache

Sunflowers are my favorite flower :D

that was a lot easier than I thought it would be....

#non-sims

[radramblog]

mtg holiday card evaluations

We now come to the Christmas Magic Post I actually had in mind from a while ago. And that is a discussion of all the “Happy Holidays” cards Magic has put out over the years.

For the unaware, every year since 2006, WoTC has designed a silver-bordered holiday-themed card to get sent out to LGS-es within their network (at least, I think that’s how they’re distributed) as a thank you and all that. Due to their exclusivity, they’re pretty rare, but in my opinion, if you’re talking about silver-border in actual gameplay, proxies are just as fair game, so they’re worth discussing for casual formats.

Which is what I’m doing. I’m an avid fan of Cube and Commander, which are the two most likely places they’re going to show up. And enough of them are worth discussing that, like, why not the rest of them? Who wants an incomplete list.

Anyway.

(Note: Tumblr on my shitty old laptop is refusing to let me upload this with images attached, just infinite loading on me which is really fun let me tell you. So if you’d like to follow along, you can find all the cards being discussed here. Sorry for the inconvenience, blame Yahoo/Tumblr.)

2006: Fruitcake Elemental

A 3-mana 7/7? Flamewreathed Faceless eat your heart out. This guy reads a lot like one of Black’s many Demons with Downsides, except Green, and like 4 mana cheaper. Those cards aren’t typically extremely playable, but there’s some stuff going on here.

You’d have to be a pretty hyper-aggressive deck to want this in a Cube, and Green Aggro just isn’t as common as it used to be. Indestructible means it’s a bit more likely to make it back to you, but your opponent having a Path (or even a bounce spell) means it’s a real risk of just being 3 mana deal 7 to yourself. Which isn’t exactly great.

As for commander, I do tend to love these kinds of hot potato cards. Assault Suit is on record as being My Shit, and I have played Karona once or twice. With that in mind, the lack of restriction on this not hitting yourself is awkward, and it’s probably unlikely that this actually triggers the 7 damage particularly often, but wasting a bunch of your opponents’ mana for 6 of your own seems alright…though maybe you might end up being the one paying half that mana.

Also hang on this could just be black border what’s going on here

 2007: Gifts Given

This card is arguably why I made this whole article in the first place. I have played a cube with this card, and it is fucking insane.

Gifts Ungiven is obviously an incredibly powerful card. Modal as hell, combo potential, value for days. While Gifts Given loses out on some of that combo potential, it makes up for it by being able to just take your opponent’s win conditions. If you’re casting this against a control deck in cube, you might just be able to hate every single wincon out of their deck in one fell swoop, and draw two spells doing it.

I’m not convinced it gets worse in EDH, either. Like, not win-the-game-on-the-spot good, but Gifts Ungiven is banned for a reason, and decks are often pretty redundant when they’re 100-card singleton. I would consider maybe banning this one also, frankly. It’s an incredible beating for the low low cost of four mana.

 2008: Evil Presents

I am a little less high on this one. Mostly because I have no idea how it’s supposed to work. Attacking yourself is something that very explicitly does not work in black-bordered Magic, and I’m not sure silver-bordered has rules for it. I mean, it’s probably fine, but there’ll be some edge cases around.

As it is, this is kind of like a Black version of a green/red cheat-into-play effect, with the downside of not getting the ETB or passive effects from those cards. That sounds bad, until you consider that a lot of those big reanimator/cheat-in targets don’t really care about that- sure, you really don’t want to put Griselbrand in with this, but Progenitus is going to be almost as good as if you put it in yourself. Provided they don’t have a sac effect.

In cube, if you’re playing a cheat-in deck, this could be fun depending what payoffs you’re running. In commander, this is basically a free card for Blin decks or similar, so it’s pretty niche, but you could do worse.

 2009: Season’s Beatings

RRRR is a beating for the curve, unless you are in actual factual mono-red. And the RNGsus factor on this means its prooobably not worth it. I don’t know that you’ve ever seen Alpha Brawl cast, but while this looks like a half-off version of that, it has just as much a chance of doing stone nothing.

It’s just so situational. Are you a non-aggressive mono-red deck that is playing against a deck with a bunch of creatures? If so, sure, go right ahead. But also, what is going on in that scenario.

 2010: Snow Mercy

I love the ability on this so much, it’s just such a cute representation of that effect. As it is, this is basically a worse No Mercy, but in White- it does work on indestructible things, sure, but you’re only going to get one person’s board at once realistically.

With that said, White has more options for self-protection in general than Black does, but it also has more ways to synergize with an enchantment. Cube doesn’t want this (maaaaybe in a lower-power thing with a snow theme?), but I can see this fit into a white deck or two. If nothing else, it’s a pretty effective deterrent- nobody wants their guys stuck in the snowglobe.

 2011: Yule Ooze

The food cost on this should be nil. If you’re running a holiday cube draft or Commander night, what the hell are you doing not having snacks around? With that in mind, this is basically dogshit in cube anyway, given its proficiency for eating your own stuff- it gets big, sure, but it’s a 4 mana 1/1 that has a high chance of eating one of your things and then a removal spell.

In multiplayer, though, that gets a lot more interesting, since the odds of self-sacrifice become ¼ instead of ½ on average. And you can build around it. It kind of reminds me of that bunker card from Unstable (Crowded Bunker) in that it’s just uncontrolled destruction of (probably) your opponents’ things- except this one can possibly synergize better with a Gruul deck.

 2012: Naughty // Nice

It only just occurred to me that this doesn’t have Fuse. Shame. I mean, I don’t think you’re ever playing Nice outside of niche political cases (e.g. hey we both want to wipe the board so here’s one of mine)…though I really want to see the deck that uses that to tutor X into someone else’s hand.

Naughty is. Basically just Praetor’s Grasp. So if you want another one of that, here you go.

 2013: Stocking Tiger

This card is very weak, but also incredibly fun. Lore Seeker, Summon the Pack, and Booster Tutor are all incredibly sweet, and this is kind of like a higher risk, much higher reward version of that. It draws 15 cards! I don’t know how the hell you get this through in Cube, but I guarantee you you’ll find a way to sneak this in in EDH. If you offer someone the option to draw 15 cards, they will take it, basically no matter how hard the condition is. No matter how medium the cards are.

And that’s just assuming it’s a regular booster pack, not a Cube pack. This is undeniably a storytime card, and we love those.

 2014: Mishra’s Toy Workshop

Yeah, sure, okay. Depending on the definition of “toy”, you might find some difficulty getting this card’s downside to work, but. Mishra’s Workshop is one of the most fuckbusted cards in the game, and while Artifact is a much easier casting requirement than “makes a token”, the latter is still very, very broad and it’s going to enable a lot more than you think in 2021 Magic.

I wouldn’t play this in cube. Not because I don’t think it’d be good- a quick look at my own one reveals that this hits something like a fifth of the whole thing- but because I think it could be too good. And the Vintage power level that this would be more appropriate in probably doesn’t have as many token makers to make the card playable. Commander it’s obviously nuts, and I was going to say “ah but workshop is banned in EDH so it’s fine” except it isn’t as it turns out, so.

 2015: Goblin Sleigh Ride

On the one hand, this is a dexterity card that doesn’t have anything preventing your opponents with messing with their board, and it really requires some dexterity to work. On the other hand, it’s another card for Mannichi EDH, and that deck absolutely needs the help, so….sure?

 2016: Thopter Pie Network

Much like with Yule Ooze, I don’t expect to have much trouble triggering this. Unfortunately, it isn’t very good. Thopter Spy Network is a fun card (and very solid in Origins draft), this is missing the crucial card draw trigger that makes it more than just a 1/1 every turn for 4 mana. Which isn’t typically good enough for anything.

 2017: Some Disassembly Required

I’m pretty unsure as to how this is Holiday themed, save the snowman in the art. Is that supposed to be evil Frosty? We don’t even get snow in the holidays down here.

It’s probably not quite good enough for cubes, although with a heavy aristocrats theme, having a 1 mana sac outlet might just be good enough- considering while it costs mana to activate and isn’t a creature for other synergies, it also doesn’t die to removal and can do some weird things. And gain you life if it’s the right time of year. With that said, Keyword Soup.edh probably really likes this- Kathril comes to mind, mostly, seeing as the other commanders in that nature aren’t Black. I mean, I guess partner Akroma + ____, but.

 2018: Bog Humbugs

 This isn’t doing anything in Commander aside from giving Insect tribal another hit (and, nice), but in cube this is basically just a 2-mana black slith variant. But it has flying, and you usually have to pay extra for that on one of these. It can take over the game, provided it’s given the chance to- if you draw this later on when your opponent has an actual flier/reach creature, you’re in suffering, but on turn 2, it’s potentially a house.

It’s not an effect we really get in Cube these days either. The closest equivalent I can think of is Drana, Liberator of Malakir- but that hits your whole goddamn board. This is cheaper, but weaker, but supports some of the same strategies, so maybe look into it if you like her.

 2019: Decorated Knight

What are the rulings on the new deck’s legality? How does that work? Don’t care, this card fucks. It’s really funny, and I trust people not to just go get their vintage deck out of the closet for it. Even if they do, the Knight draws from your original deck and your hand doesn’t get exchanged, so you’re probably not instantly comboing off. Is this ever good? I mean, kind of depends on your preparation, and on how you rule the thing actually works. Is it fun? Undoubtedly, and that’s why we’re here. I’d play this in Cube, fuck it, why not.

 2020: Topdeck the Halls

This card makes me mad, because it’s a legitimately super cool Boros card that is also a non-combat damage wincon for the pair, that…isn’t legal in anything. Well, if you’re as into fancy versions of dumb cards as I am, then this is probably going to work pretty okay- the miracle being Snow does bite a little bit, though.

To be clear, that doesn’t say nonland. And these cards are always foils, so this counts for one of them. It’s actually not hard to trigger this in EDH if you build your deck around it- Cube it’s probably dogshit (5 mana do nothing oops), but god I want to cast this thing so bad. How much are foil Snow lands?

(as it turns out, the Kaldheim ones are not much!)

 2021- Last-Minute Chopping

Finally, this year’s entry into this…Hallowed…Pantheon? Funnily enough, assuming we don’t let people lie (or be an ass in other ways) about whether they got you a gift or not, this card gets worse the more tight-knit your playgroup is, since you really don’t want them saying yes to this. If they do, then you basically get the worst card out of their sideboard in Cube, or like a basic in EDH. You aren’t even going to be able to play the card they give you half the time.

With that said, this card is actually very good outside of a holiday-y context, seeing as the no version is just a 3-mana steal anything. That’s very strong. So maybe this is one that goes in a general silver-bordered section and not your holiday section. Just…maybe make sure to take it out before you do a birthday cube draft, that’s a nonbo right there.

This is also probably my favourite art/flavour out of any of these. Gisa/Geralf are a lot of fun, and this is totally in character for them.

 That’s them all, folks. A few more duds than I remembered, but enough interesting stuff that it might be worth considering. By the looks of things, these are here to stay- but they’re all expensive enough that they probably are not worth actually buying. I mean, the only one I’ve seen in person is Gifts Given, and that card is currently sitting at a cool four hundred dollarydoos. In Anton’s defense, it was like a quarter of that at the time. But it made me think about how the others could be run, and most of them have something that can be done with them.

#ramble #mtg #edh #cube

[pharaohsparklefists]

EPISODE 100! [confetti] 

Tragically, this episode is composed of The Part With The Shitty Duel, The Part With Some Morons and The Part With The Tragic Retrospective Of Two Orphans’ Childhood so it’s not ... celebratory. The latter part will form its own recap, so let’s plunge right in to The Part With The Shitty Duel!

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP SEAMONKEYHEAD you know what I can’t do this [thud, footsteps, sound of microphone being disconnected]

[static]

Let’s plunge right on in to The Part With Some Morons!

Having successfully (somehow) demolished a STONE WALL with a FUCKING AXE, they are shocked -- SHOCKED! -- to discover that they haven’t just breached a wall of the giant submarine they’re on and drowned themselves and everyone else in an energetic fit of petulance.

So they come up with Plan B.

Ugh, come on, guys, it’s a VAST and UNKNOWABLE expanse, limited only by the digital imagination of a genius whose had a decade with nothing better to do than design his infinite virtual playground, she could be literally anywhere in a world that’s conceivably orders of magnitude greater than the actual Earth itself, how could you POSSIBLY hope to--

oh.

there she is.

And she’s in TROUBLE! Time for a reasonable solution to this--

oh.

or that.

Welp, at any rate, that was a frankly unbelievable feat of both strength and bravery, that any idiot with currently-functional eyes couldn’t help but be awed by so at least Honda can enjoy Shizuka’s gratitude--

oh.

okay fine.

These idiots are just tOO STUPID, even the duel has to be better than this, let’s go see how that’s getting on...

COME THE FUCK ON WHY DOES THIS LIZARD HAVE HAIR AND MOTHERFUCKING NIPPLES I SWEAR TO GO YOU SHIT-FUCKING BASTARDS DON’T EVEN FUCKING DRAW NIPPLES ON THE ACTUAL GODFORSAKEN SHITTING HUMANS WHO ARE LEST WE EVEN MOMENTARILY FORGET MAMMALS WHICH ARE LITERALLY FUCKING DEFINED BY THE PRESENCE OF FUCKING NIPPLES WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS TOUCHED BY GOD’S BLESSED SUNLIGHT WOULD THIS FUCKING SHITFUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCKFUCKING LIZARD HAVE THEM?????

up is down, black is white,

AAAAAAAAAARGHNOITISN’T

okay

okay

look

so far, two things have happened in this duel. hard to believe, I know. one) Yami attacked but his attack rebounded on him due to the Deck Master ability of Seamonkey Fashionmodel and two) SF took damage but because of taking damage was able to summon a card from his hand

he gets a similar lineup of monsters out on the field again

and Yami. I swear to god. Flashes back. To. Both. BOTH. these events. They JUST HAPPENED. both of them. They’re ALL that happened. Both. 

help.

Seamonkey conversationally says he’d quite like to see what Kuriboh’s effect as a Deck Master is, then immediately disses him and says he’s shit anyway

“I didn’t WANT you, but I believe in you. I guess. Now that you’re here. Look, I’m being polite.”

It is sweet that Yami’s so supportive. He has, so far, less than no reason to be.

THIS GUY

IS THE WORST. I HATE HIM. AND I AM INCREASINGLY SURE HE’S JUST MAKING THIS SHIT UP BECAUSE I CAN’T FIND SOURCES FOR ANY OF THESE FUCKING QUOTES. 

that last one might be a mangling of Sun Tzu 

YOU SAID IT BABE

Yami weighs up his options, knowing if he attacks, Seamonkey is likely to rebound his attack on him again, but will sacrifice two Monsters to do it

ANY risk is a risk you’re willing to take to get an advantage, you mad yoke you

and sure enough

And it doesn’t even WORK because that fucker immediately sacrifices his OTHER Monster to summon two more smaller Monsters, which I am like 90% sure is cheating cause it’s DEFINITELY still Yami’s turn but the 10% covers “this game has no rules, so therefore it’s not technically possible to ever cheat”

Whenever Yami takes damage, it is, of course ~REAL DAMAGE~. sort of. like it HURTS but it doesn’t actually CLEAVE HIM IN TWAIN or anything. which makes it different than a Normal Duel. did I say “”different””? silly me, i meant exactly the goddamn same as every goddamn duel ever.

Yugi, probably: YOUR body? excuse me!

There’s a decent joke I can make here but it hinges on knowledge of the long-running advertising campaign in the early noughties for an Irish brand of flavoured concentrated juice. If you know what I’m talking about, you know the joke I could make. If you don’t, you wouldn’t anyway.

ANYWAY, yer man points out that even without losing the duel, if Yami succumbs to the pain...

I think this is supposed to scare him, but Yami - who does not have what you would call a normal relationship with the physical body he intermittently inhabits nor with pain - instead goes “oh my god, he’s right, someone playing a duel like this could be overwhelmed with pain and suffering .... I NEED TO GET TO MY FRIENDS TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING TO THEM”

“but it’s currently happening to you. right now.”

“oh, is it? um ... ouch?”

Although Yami appears not to care about his potentially imminent death except for how it might affect his friend-rescuing plans, Seamonkey McMurderface points out that it was always inevitable

Kuriboh, probably, judging by that expression: squeak squeak squeak! 

[translation: come over here and say that to my face, motherfucker, I’ll fuckin cut you, bitch]

#this has to be one of the worst duels I've ever heard of #and you know what? #I don't even know Seamonkey Fashionmodel's actual name #so he can't EVEN say #but you have heard of me #yami #yami yugi #I forget how I usually tag him #the big five #Hiroto Honda #Ryugi Otogi #shizuka #Yu-Gi-Oh! #sparklefists watches ygo

[sneakyhomunculous]

RPT Phoenix Report: Back to Back!

Part 1: Preparation 

“How should I begin this? I’m just so offended; how am I even mentioned by all these fucking beginners?” 

Let’s back up a bit. 

I’m coming into this half season fresh off a 5th place finish in the last MC, which means I’m qualified for RPT1/2 and PTFinal 1. 

From what I could make of the shoddy convoluted details at the beginning of this year; I believed I had a serious upper hand in the Rivals race. 

Only 4 tournaments count. The 3 I am qualified for and the 2nd PT final which I’ll have multiple chances to que for as well. 

Almost everyone else has at most 1 RPT Q and a pipe dream. 

With this info, I decide I am going to go for it. I know I am still an underdog, but I believe I am one of the few people in the world in this spot to somewhat reasonably set this goal of top 12 paper rivals for myself. 

At the same time, the world we live in is an Arena dominated one. 

I hate it of course. 

Like most of you reading this; I play the game for mostly 1 big reason [the fierce competition]. Arena is severely lacking in this department.

Only standard, a mindless ladder with the only reward being a single lottery ticket into a ~15k USD 0.5% equity drawing. (that requires you to play standard for 8 hours on a saturday there will assuredly be a GP you want to play.) 

A petty, infuriating chore. 

Bc standard is so chalked and flooded with players anyway; You are forced to play casual [but ranked] drafts against the bots.  

Slamming BO1 games with 15 land decks until your eyes bleed and the mythic achievement is reached! 

Then you close the unbearable program down not to be touched again until the next time this chore is required; or the lottery drawing is happening.

Nice system! 

All that being said, I’m still not going to handicap myself, and so I decide I will go for Arena as well. 

Unfortunately I have no early advantage there, and the spots are obviously unbelievably high variance. 

There are only 2 Invys and 2 Mythic point challenges, and if you miss the first invy you are almost drawing dead at a 1-12 spot. Especially with special invites and re-ques for top finishers all factored in. 

So far I am failing on the Arena front. 

I was too attached to my beautiful Urza Oko deck (I didn’t prepare enough for the first MCQW I would be double queing along side the modern GP in Austin. It cost me as I woke up and played poorly to a swift 2-2 exit with Jetski Fires before heading over to the GP) 

I lost a win and in and got 17th there. Never have I played a tournament with a bigger edge over all non mirrors in the field! Unfortunately I played 7 mirrors and managed a lowly 4-2-1 in them. 

I can’t make it through these gauntlets on autopilot anymore. 

I’m only 27, but my seemingly rapid reduction in processing speed has made me feel like I’m somehow getting too old for this grind.  

The way I have dealt with it? 

Accepting it. 

As much as I hate to admit it; I am not the same 17 year old wunderkind anymore and the young guns have a big edge on me. 

I have to take all the necessary steps to take care of myself and do everything in my power to make sure when I’m in the trenches; inside the matches in the important tournaments; I can be as focused on the games as possible. This is just so I can make the playing field close to level. 

Otherwise I am going to be reading cards, and playing slow unconfident magic. 

This is a big one; I believe. 

I think one thing a lot of players are lacking in pushing themselves to higher levels is the confidence in their decisions. I used to struggle with this a lot (still do sometimes) and I would constantly second guess things multiple times every turn. 

Over time, I’ve learned that if you put in the work... 

You practice; 

Play actual games and learn the interactions; 

You can really lean on your instincts and exude confidence in yourself that goes a long way in winning matches of Magic the Gathering. 

(Look at almost all of the best players. They are confident in their decisions in the games, even when they end up making mistakes.) 

But enough with the nonsense; let’s get to the tournament prep so we can blaze through that boring shit and get to the sweet 16 PT rounds 

(spoilers: there may be more than 16) 

Collin Rountree is torn between testing with Me Ty Will and the Houston Slack, and testing with team 5% captained by Allen “The Process” Wu. 

Of course the choice is obvious, but Collin doesn’t want to leave all the local bangers in the dust. 

He lobbies on our behalf, and Me Ty Will and Eddie all join team 5%. 

I am not a stranger to large testing teams. 

I spent four PTs testing with team TCG/SCG and we averaged around 15 people. The difference was that we always met up in person a week or more ahead of time for an intense testing period, and also I guess we had more dueling personalities.

Shoutout to everyone on those squads those were great times. 

But when you have Steve Rubin Seth Manfield Corey Burkhart Andrea Mengucii mixed with Brad BBD Martell Kibler mixed with Me Fennell GerryT Josh Cho mixed with Ari Lax trying to organize everything for everyone..... 

Anyone who knows these people can see how this led to some logistics issues and some heated arguments about who is not pulling their weight, or who is just showing up late and mooching, or who keeps brewing decks with no mana bases and sideboards and bringing them to Brad telling them they are great and we have to play games with them (another shoutout to Fennell, hope he reads this and fires up a modo draft tonight. And shoutout to Brad for creating the no 75, no games rule. You can’t fucking say you made a deck if you don’t have a manabase or a sideboard, and some brewers out there may need to hear that again.) 

Team 5% (7.1673746%) is all online testing. 

We use a discord with dedicated channels to all the constructed decks, all the limited topics, logistics, and chalkdiesel/washed bad beat/rant rooms/RIP Rimrock Knight etc. etc. so you can see how it stays pretty clean, organized, and simple. 

But no really, having so many people gives us an edge on many fronts. 

There is usually always someone available to battle. We can cover a lot of ground really quickly. Multiple people are brewing and many people are tuning the known decks. Lots of different opinions and we end up covering all the limited archetypes quickly as the drafts pile in. 

All of this being said, my best two PT results from the past are when I worked alone. 

I usually draft infinite (75-100) times (when I lose I drop and draft again. And sometimes I drop when winning just to draft again) and I just try to play the best deck in constructed. 

This I have learned is a recipe for success for me. 

But I was happy to join this team. My intention was to just do the same thing, but have some people to talk to while I drafted 75-100 times and tuned the best deck. 

I worked with a few of these players back in the TCG days (shoutout to Ari and Corey, and again to Corey for winning the PT let’s gooooooo) and everyone that I heard was currently on this 5% team; I liked. 

So for my testing I did almost purely magic online. 

I did around 60 drafts after all was said and done. In constructed, I played a ton of UW control and small amounts of all the other stock decks, and watched a lot of streams. 

I wanted to be familiar with the format but not go too hard until the days leading up to; during; and right after the first 2 RPTs. 

What a weird dynamic, having 2 pro tours 5 days before deck submission for your pro tour. 

It really worked out in our favor because our team is so big and we were able to quickly attack the new and perceived future metagame. 

Nothing at those two tournaments made me waiver from wanting to register UW control. 

I was still beating everything, and I predicted the metagame would be 20%ish UB invertor and then spirits, red, black, and sultai delerium/invertor uro decks would be all around 10%. 

When I say I was beating everything, I was beating everything. 

Granted these were in leagues, but it was mostly all against real decks and my constructed rating was skyrocketing above my limited. 

Not a thing I am accustomed to. 

I had a 17-1 record against mono red, and no cap. I had a 12-2 record against mono black. I had a 8-1 record against UB invertor. 

I crushed Collin so badly with our teams current front running mono white devotion that he decided to add 4 Gideon Ally of Zendikar to the maindeck and try again. 

A 4-0 for me later in which he resolved 5 Gideons led to him telling the discord he is off it. “Bursavich just beat me every single game and I resolved gideon in all of them.” 

The only deck I ever lost matches to was spirits but I still won more than I lost against it. 

Around Monday our team was all piling on to the breach deck realizing how good it was, and I joined in to. 

I played a prelim and a league and immediately bought all of the cards from cardkingdom. But after my next few matches I was feeling very conflicted. 

I was very worried how bad UW was against breach, but I didn’t think breach would break 7-8% or the metagame anyway. And I can tweak UW some to have a shot I tell myself. 

The breach deck is obviously busted, but it’s a combo deck with a weird puzzle-like 3 step combo. 

First you have to get 2 lands into play and then play lotus field, then u have to play a thespians stage and copy it, and then u have to kill your opponent with ur huge amounts of mana. 

But the deck is so consistent and sort of resilient that I found myself trying to play it like a midrange deck. 

I have these faes and grazers and pores and viziers, I can block! And Fae for planeswalkers and grind people out or take all these weird dynamic lines... and then I realized I was fucking up a lot. 

The games are not always intuitive to me, and I won’t be able to live with myself if I register this and play horribly to lose games I should win, considering there will likely be some number of games my deck fails and I can’t win (or my opponent is prepared with damping sphere or one of the other 1-2 cards that do anything at all to stop this abomination of a deck) 

So a few hours after ordering the breach cards I am going to bed Monday night and I know I’m going to play UW control... 

Shoutout to the squad though! 

They really crushed it over these few days and perfected the breach list and had all the matchups figured out down to the T. 

Our limited meetings were great and I believe they really helped everyone a lot and we had an overall great showing in limited. 

I spend all day Tuesday and Wednesday with magic online open and the discord on my other monitor. 

I occasionally jam some games with teammates but for many many hours I just stare at my UW decklist while catching up on the latest breach tech. 

I just stare at the deck..... 

For hours

I went to get lunch and came back and stared some more. 

It was perfect and there was just nothing to cut. 

I wanted another hard counter in my deck but could not find the space. 

I have been moving 1 card around here and there, swapping 3rd field of ruin for the 4th Glacial, swapping back, then swapping back again. going down to 1 absorb and back to the 2/2 split back to 1. Moving around seal away D sphere narset lantern thassas intervention Mystical Dispute elspeth etc. etc. but mostly keeping the same core 73-75 cards the same. 

With a few hours left in submission and all the data pouring in, we realize that LSV Huey and a large swath of great players have all been spotted in leagues today playing breach. 

I am suddenly panicked bc the matchup is still quite bad. 

I have a few good cards, but nothing to swing it past like a 33% matchup at best.

I know damping sphere is my only real option if I want to respect it, and I’m of the mindset that doing so is normally a bit silly. 

While the deck is obviously busted, it’s been 5 days and many players are uncomfortable playing decks of this style. 

My general guess is that it breaking 6-7% of the field will still be unlikely, and I think it pushing above 10% would be crazy. 

So I can expect to play vs it once on average?? 

Not so fast. 

This is a new RPT with a wide open field, but still a lot of goats at the top. 

Turns out you almost always have to defeat multiple goats to get the trophy in PT’s... 

And I didn’t fly to Phoenix just to have a good ole time and settle for 6th place, so I man up and delete 2 Monastery Mentor for 2 Damping Sphere. 

This will hurt me in mirrors and vs Invertor, but I am confident I will be fine anyway. 

With 10 minutes left in submission I consider adding a 3rd sphere but am too lazy to open back up my laptop and know I won’t be able to cut any of the beautiful cards in my sideboard for it anyway. 

Enough with the boring shit; let’s get to the tournament!!! 

Part2 coming tomorrow!

[clonerightsagenda]

Most of this popped into my head way earlier this year, but I thought I’d polish it up for this update.

So here’s a double eulogy, I guess, for a character I finally came to love when I had to kill her.

“Dreambubbles can be disorienting at first,” Tavros says to a gathered crowd of ghosts. Stating the obvious is a major part of his orientation speech for new recruits.

You lean against the hull of his flagship just out of view, arms crossed. This latest batch was a team effort, same as the one before. You’re not allowed to go out on solo rescue missions yet, only to serve as bait. Apparently you’re “unreliable”, like you weren’t FLARP champion of your hiveblock with all the achievements to your name.  All the important ones, anyway.

You’ve heard the speech plenty of times, first as its victim and now as an observer. You want to jump onto the deck and shove him out of the way so you can set the record straight. “Listen up, losers. We’re not important. We’re not here for a reason, except that we messed up or someone stuck a sword through our backs. We’re dead weight, dead. Get used to it and get moving, unless you want to be dust too.”

That wouldn’t “send the right message”, though, so instead you scowl while Tavros drones on. One day. One day you’ll do it, once you’ve figured out where to go next and are ready to bail. A fitting farewell to this juvenile playacting, to remind them what real go-getters look like.

“There aren’t any obvious boundaries between one place and the next, which you might have noticed,” Tavros goes on. The Boy Skylark can win some achievements for self-evidency, anyway. “And the bubbles themselves tend to, merge together or drift apart. That’s normal. You should just expect that, um, the only thing to expect here is everything changing all the time.” You roll your eyes. Eloquent. “Even you!” he adds. “You’re not bound, to be whoever you were before you came here. Whatever that might be. Even if there are things you feel bad about, or wish you could change. If you take enough steps here, the place you’re in could change into a field, or a mountain, or a lake. There’s no reason, that if you take enough steps, you can’t change into something else too.”

Feel good wiggler crap. You’ve always hated these speeches.

#

“Why are you working with this freakshow?” Eridan asks.

Tavros assigned you to deal with him while he adjusts. You guess your not-leader figures Eridan will respond to a higher blood better, and he has the sense not to ask Feferi to grubsit. So when someone has to deliver marching orders to your newest recruit and you’re not off roaming the fringes of the Furthest Ring, that’s your job.

“I wanted revenge,” you say, tossing the map with Tavros’s latest coordinates in his direction. He doesn’t catch it. Another Eridan helped plan the fleet placements, putting that military history obsession to work, but you’re not going to tell him if he doesn’t ask. “This was a way to get it.”

“Not charging directly at the big bad and getting your ass kicked?” He scoffs, polishing a smudge only he can see off his rifle. “You have changed.”

“I’m biding my time.” You say it loftily, to suggest plans are already in motion. After all, this was supposed be a temporary arrangement, a way to regain your strength and sense of purpose. Then you’d find a new, bigger plan, a way to take English down once and for all.

It’s been sweeps. You haven’t come up with one yet.

Instead you’ve settled into whatever this existence is, a team member whose role is not being part of the team, bait for a destroyer of worlds. It’s not all bad. Gets the adrenaline pumping, for sure, which is vital in a place that lulls you into quiescence. Even though the Furthest Ring isn’t a natural home for Light players, you’ve gotten good at it. If there’s anything you’ve got a knack for, it’s adapting to places that want to kill you.

You learn how to let memories bubble up from inside you and warp your surroundings into shelter and places to hide. You learn how to leap from bubble to bubble when they’re not quite touching, bracing yourself for the chill of the Furthest Ring and the song of the horrorterrors scraping like frozen blades across your mind. You learn the fickleness of luck (winning a coin toss doesn’t matter if your sister stabs you in the back) and wrap fortune around only the outcomes you’ve thought through. It’s like one of those too-clever storybook genies, twisting your wishes, taking you at your word and leaving you scrambling to set things right. Luck must be handled with care.

English has a lot of luck to steal, at least. Everything works out in his favor in the end – that’s more than luck; it’s certainty. You can’t do much with a probability of 100%, but you can slow him down and leach off bits around the edges, making him a hair too slow and yourself just fast enough. You can dart around the margins of his story, for now.

There are moments where it’s tempting to make your successful outcome exclude you, when oblivion calls with its seductively easy way out. This place drains you. Fighting is hard. But sitting still and remembering is nearly as bad. Everyone’s haunted by their memories. Some are just lucky enough that they can’t see the ghosts.

#

The first time you try the savior gig, it doesn’t go well.

Tavros finally lets you off your leash, mostly because English is gunning for two different locations at once. The whole Time hero thing is a real pain in the ass sometimes. You navigate to a shadowy place made up of forests and deep gorges. Finding dreamers is difficult in the gloom, but eventually you draw together a crowd by tugging their attention your way, another Light trick you’ve learned.

“Hey everyone,” you say. “I’m going to be your rescuer today.”

An Aradiabot sneers. “You? You think you’re helping us?”

“Do you have a problem with that?” you demand. “Is it illegal on some notice plastered up somewhere I didn’t read?”

“It’d be unprecedented.”

Leave it to her robo-clones to hold a grudge, just because of a little bit of murder. “I’m all you’ve got, I’m afraid. Any takers?”

No one else says anything, but they don’t start moving either. What’s their problem? Can’t they see that this is important?

You coax and bully and cajole (but you don’t use mind control, not with the memory of glowing eyes and grasping hands still fresh) but they’re slow to move and there’s no time. “Fine,” you snap. “Tavros can come get you here. I’m supposed to be the bait anyway. I’ll lead English away. But if you can possibly bear it, it might be a good idea to head in the opposite direction.”

You hear later that about half of them made it out, the other half hit by a strafe of reality-shattering power before English turned to chase you through a land of flashing colors and fireflies. “We rescued ten,” Tavros says. “That’s good.”

“Good?” you repeat. You either win or you lose; there’s no half and half draw. You lost, and you lost because of you. Why didn’t they listen? You recall the disgusted curl of Aradia’s metal lips and are reminded of that brief time in Tavros’s mind, the uncomfortable sensation of looking at yourself from the outside in. No one ever seems to like what they see.

Obviously they’re not looking right. Who knows you better than yourself?

#

Other Alternian dreamers’ gazes on you feel different after that. The Beforans don’t know you, but you don’t want to run into any Araneas or Meenahs (and definitely not Kurloz) so you keep to yourself. That’s your purpose, after all. Keep English away from anyone important. Keep him focused on you.

There aren’t many humans in the bubbles. Their Time hero was careful (afraid) and kept as linear as he could. Your session was too long, too many ways to get things wrong or the wrong sort of right. Aradia needed an army to keep the Black King in check, and she got one. The many ways your species could fuck it up is splattered in bloody colors all across the Furthest Ring.

You do run into him a few times. He’s almost always living in a memory that doesn’t include you, or he knows Alternians only as messages over Pesterchum. If you step into his hive, his eyes slide right past you.

Once, though, you open a door in a land of dark landmasses and cogwheels rising out of lava that reminds you of Karkat’s, walk right into a human bedroom, and nearly jump out of your skin when he says, “Hey.”

“You know who I am?” you ask.

“I know what you are,” he says. “Don’t think we ever talked.”

“No,” you say. “Not out there or in here. None of your selves want to remember.”

“Can’t blame them.” He rubs his eyes, and you see a sliver of white from behind the shades he insists on wearing as they slide up the bridge of his nose. “My friends. Did they get out ok?”

You haven’t heard from anyone living in sweeps. Is the game over? Would you still be here if it was? “I haven’t seen many of them around,” you say. “I think they might have a chance at winning.”

“That’s good.”

You study him – the human Terezi adopted, who you’d taken quick glances at just to see why she’d waste her time on him. You still don’t get it. Except that he does a bad job of hiding himself, and she loves it when people put themselves out there for her while pretending it’s a challenge. Among the humans, his guardian seemed the best at preparing him like Alternia tried to do, but it didn’t work very well. The cracks are obvious.

Did she think yours were obvious too?

“Well, I must’ve taken a wrong turn,” you say, and turn to go. You get your mind right before you twist the knob of the door you just came through, and it opens this time onto the Land of Little Cubes and Tea.

“Nice trick,” he says.

“You can join up, if you want,” you say over your shoulder. “We’re collecting.”

“Nah.” He retreats to his desk, opening a copy of Pesterchum where every contact is stuck on idle. “I did my part. Leave me to play my shitty video games in peace until the Incredible Hulk ushers me past the great beyond.”

#

You send a message to Aradia, since she’s the one who ministers to lost souls brooding forever in their personal memory-holes. She’s good at it, too. “How did you turn into such an expert therapist?” you ask her once, while taking a breather atop a floating lily pad. The last narrow escape involved crawling through clinging vines, and the grasping tendrils ruined your braids. You disentangle your uneven attempt at fixing them and start over. “I don’t remember that being in your skillset.”

“I wasn’t an expert, not at first.” She waves her latest convert away and then plucks at one of your clumsy plaits. “Here, let me.” You flinch – when was the last time someone touched you? – and she clicks her tongue. “You’ve got a knot here. I’ll have to tug. Think you’re tough enough?”

“Sure,” you say, and try to relax like this is normal, like the last person who did this sweeps ago didn’t go up in smoke.

“That’s not the first Latula I’ve talked to,” she says as she works. “Or even the tenth. They have different memories, but a lot of the pain underneath is the same. Eventually you learn the right things to say, even if it’s by trial and error. It’s not hard to sound wise then.”

You remember her kneeling down as you lay sprawled on white sands and wishing your second life was over. “You don’t have that practice with me.”

“No. But it wasn’t hard to guess that you’d want to do something, after what had happened. Beyond that, you’re right. I don’t know what you’re afraid of, or your regrets. But I’m not sure you do either. Besides…” She ties off one braid and moves to the next, easing apart the strands and smoothing them out. “A lot of the dreamers are here because of me. It’s not my fault, entirely, but I still made them. Shouldn’t I make sure they’re happy, as much as they can be?”

Causality tangles you up sometimes, like the twisted corpses of your lusus’s victims dangling like sad party favors from her webs. How much can you say is yours, in a multiverse where so much is foretold? You contacted the humans because of their Jack. Their Jack was able to enter your session because of you. Which comes first? Whose fault is it? Does it matter?

“Do you think I did bad things?” you ask.

“Yes,” she says.

You’re stung by her tone more than anything else, how her fingers don’t even hesitate at their work. “But I didn’t mean to. And there were extenuating circumstances for basically everything. I could list them off. Extenuation after extenuation, like you wouldn’t believe.”

“You didn’t ask me if I thought you had reasons for what you did,” she says, exchanging a smile with a far-off Porrim. “You asked me if you did it.”

There’s not much you can say to that. There usually isn’t.

#

Sometimes you spend some time with the others, before your Light hero aura draws English in too close and you have to leave again. Ghosts come and go, but the group from your timeline has become tight-knit, and sometimes they loosen the weave enough to let you in.

“Vriska!” Nepeta calls. “It’s been sweeps.”

Nepeta has taken to the bubbles well, rubbing shoulders effortlessly with her hordes of alternates, swapping stories and giggling like it’s not uncanny at all. Wherever she is, Feferi is never far behind. You spot her now a little ways back, signing with a Meulin. She picked up Beforan Sign Language fast, saying it would’ve been helpful for working underwater. All of you know the simpler words and use them to communicate in close quarters when danger is too present for speech. You learned “help” first, fist on palm, thumb up, variations in meaning based on the motion of your hands. I help you. You help me. We help each other.

You can’t follow what they’re saying now, but you do catch the sign they’ve created for Lord English: “E” hands held cupping the eyes like the hollow eye sockets of a skull. At least that’s what it’s supposed to look like. It makes you think of people covering their faces in fear, but that’s the kind of thing you’re not supposed to point out. Bad for morale. Like telling people that you’ve been all over the Furthest Ring, and there’s a lot less of it than there used to be.

“Have you heard about our plan?” Nepeta asks, as Feferi jogs over to join her.

“Plan?”

“We’re not supposed to spill the details yet, remember?” Feferi nudges her with her elbow and grins, showing off rows of shark teeth. The sight reminds you of Meenah’s sharp smile, and you swallow. “We have to make sure it works first. Then we’ll tell everyone.”

“A few more practice rounds would be a good idea. Do you think you can talk Sollux into helping out again?”

“He’ll be grumpy about it, but I’ll try.” Feferi waves at you and sprints off again. She’s animated for a dreamer, but then most people who stay close to Tavros are. Dreamers you have to harangue to even make them look your way perk up at the sight of him, soaking up his assurances that they matter, that they can still grow and change and do things, like Kanaya soaked up sunlight. Is this what the Summoner or Karkat’s ancestor were like, all those sweeps ago? No wonder the Empress wanted both of them dead.

Nepeta’s as cheerful as she always was, but her time here has given her an inner stability you lack. She settles beside you. “I like your bracelets.”

You twist the smooth bands around your wrist. Some of Meenah’s fashion sense stayed; you weren’t copying it all just so she’d like you more. Maybe Alternians as a rule thought fashion was stupid, but Alternians weren’t right about everything. “Thanks. I like your vest.” It must be new, but the cloth is already as ragged as the rest of her clothes. Even when she’s not prowling through jungles, her hands are busy plucking at loose threads or picking at gaps in the weave.

She taps what looks like one of many scales studding the fabric. “I got it from another me. She liked my coat, so we traded. It’s fun to change occasionally.”

You tug at your hair – in a ponytail today – and wonder if she means to tease. “You don’t think it’s weird, meeting other versions of yourself?”

“Why would it be? It’s nice, seeing all the different things I’ve done, like living a million lifetimes with a million possibilities. Of course, not all of them are as lively as us. But they can teach us things.” She nods over at Feferi. “Learning about her other self on Beforus helped her see the problems in her ideas of reform. Although knowing us lowbloods alone might’ve done the trick! Sometimes you need another perspective to navigate, like our maps where you need a bunch of coordinates to know where to go.”

You and Tavros haven’t spoken again about your brief time in each other’s minds. Sollux and Eridan pretend it never happened. Feferi and Nepeta are the only two who emerged without unease, although Feferi does joke that it helps to have four hands again. What would it be like, to not mind someone seeing you that closely? “Are you two matesprits?” you ask.

She blushes olive and punches you on the shoulder. “Don’t be nosy!”

“Fiiiiiiiine. I thought you liked that kind of gossip.”

“It’s different when it’s about you.” The blush hasn’t left her cheeks.

“I won’t pry then. But if you need me to find you some chalk in a memory to update your shipping wall, let me know. I find lots of great loot out there.” You turn out your empty pockets for her inspection. “I’ll have to bring back presents next time. We can have a late perigree’s eve party. Or early. I can’t keep track, but we’ve probably missed a hundred or so.”

“I’d like a celebration. Even if it’s a ‘we survived this long’ party.” Nepeta digs her nails under the edge of another scale on her vest. “Sometimes I forget you’re from our timeline,” she says frankly. “You’re a lot nicer now.”

You stuff your pockets back in your pants, unsure of how to respond. “Thanks?”

“Sorry if that was rude.” She sneaks a look over at you from underneath her bangs. “I meant it as a compliment.”

“There’s not much of a standard of comparison. There aren’t any other mes out there.”

“Even if you can’t see them walking around, you can meet the versions of yourself that you used to be.” She taps her chest. “They’re all still right here.”

“I’m not looking for enlightenment in your rumblespheres,” you say, and she snorts so loud you start laughing too.

#

Sollux approaches you not long after. You’re not sure if he’s half dead again now that Eridan’s back. He doesn’t like to be asked. His lisp is still gone, replaced by the hollow tones you remember from Aradia’s post-death days. “I still don’t trust you,” he says.

“Hello to you too.”

He ignores you. “AA thinks it’s not her place to judge, and Nepeta and Feferi always look for the best in people. But me? I remember what you made me do. You liked it.”

He’s right. Oh, Scratch helped talk you into things, but the sick twists on top? Those were yours. Making Tavros fly off a cliff like Pupa Pan, sending Sollux to kill Aradia for you – you prided yourself on getting people where it hurt them most. It showed you were clever, someone not to be messed with. You’d meant to leave an impression. Looks like you succeeded.

“I’ve kept you safe here,” you say.

“And I want to know why. You never do anything if there isn’t something in it for you.”

You hug your knees. “Eridan asked the same thing.” Maybe that’ll put him off.

“I hate the bastard, but he’s got a point.”

“I want English to suffer,” you say, because it’s the truth. And to your surprise, the next bit is too. “And I want to be better than him.”

He scowls. “At least he’s impersonal about killing us.”

Did he come out here to insult you? Look at yourself from another perspective, Nepeta said, so you try. It’s tricky, but so is shuffling through a life and death’s worth of memories and dragging them out into the world. Mental acrobatics keep you safe these days. What memories would he have of you?

Vriska Serket, Mindfang wannabe and power gamer extraordinaire, always ready to leave her team without their strongest player in the middle of a melee if it meant netting more xp or the choicest treasure. One time you deliberately stepped on an alarmed panel to summon an emerald basilisk for its drops, even though no one else near you had the levels to deal with it. You’d only laughed when it plowed through them and nearly reduced Tavros’ gel viscosity to zero. Even on Alternia, land of a bunch of rowdy wigglers with no self-control, you’d built a reputation as someone who left broken people and broken things in her wake. Now you’re all trapped in a shrinking space with a killer who’s got your scent. You may be the expendable one, the distraction, but you have the power to kill them all just by sitting still. No wonder he’s worried.

“I’m not planning anything,” you say. “No scheme that’ll blow up in my face, no duplicitous double crosses. You don’t have to worry about me, I promise.”

“And I’m supposed to believe you, just like that?”

“Tavros trusts me.”

He snorts. “He’s an optimist. But I’ll believe him more than anything you tell me.”

You look up at the cracking void, at all the damage English has left behind that the rest of you could never fix, not in a million sweeps. “That’s probably for the best.”

#

Time doesn’t pass the same way here. You’re old, so old, but you can’t age, and so you never grow out of ancient hurts or childish arguments. Those things keep most of the dead chained down reliving their petty problems until English blasts them to smithereens. That works in the gods’ favor. Maybe the dead are happier that way too; you don’t know.

You try to avoid Terezis. You’ve never seen the one from your timeline. She’d be older now; you don’t know by how much. You haven’t seen another you out here either. God Tiering so early, most of them probably faded in doomed timelines. The ones who died would have been easy prey for English’s rampage. You don’t want to talk to these fellow sisterless members of Team Scourge. You’re not looking for each other.

One does talk to you, though, when you’re shepherding people into a cave that turns into paneled meteor hallways that turn into a beach where Tavros’ ship is waiting. She’s lingering behind, and English nearly catches you. The first memory that springs to mind as a hiding place is your old clubhouse deep in the Alternian forest. You both squeeze inside the structure of fallen branches and propped up boards, and she runs her fingers over a curling Mindfang drawing. Sheesh, you were embarrassing. Can she see it? You don’t know if death has restored her eyesight. Her eyes are white now, just like yours.

“Sorry for the crummy accommodations,” you say. “I don’t want to lead him after the others, so we’ll lie low for a while and then jump somewhere else.”

“It’s fine,” she says, hunkering down on a locked treasure chest. “I haven’t been here in a long time.”

“Brings back memories, huh?” You look up, where light filters through the cracking roof. The two of you share this part of your past, at least.

“Lots.”

“What happened to you?” you ask, cautiously. With the way timelines work, you’re not sure whether the Terezi who would’ve died if you’d gone after Jack exists as a dreamer or only as a possibility. One day you’re afraid you’ll run into one who’s here because of you.

She sighs, digging her fingers into the seams between the planks of the treasure chest. “Most of us died fighting the Black King. Feferi’s lusus getting prototyped was a big mistake. Aradia reversed, of course, but… a psychic blast isn’t Heroic or Just, and you must’ve come back before she doomed the timeline, so you didn’t show up here.”

“I’ve never met another me,” you say. “Probably for the best. We’d get into fights. Too many strong personalities; you know how it is. I’m always right, obviously, but what happens if I disagree?”

She snickers at that, like you’d hoped. It’s been a long time since you’ve heard her laugh. No one else has one like it. “I was worried about her. We’d never completely patched things over after FLARP, and she was always so reckless. We were supposed to be in charge of a whole world once we won. I didn’t know if you could handle that. I’m glad I met you, even if you’re not her. It’s nice to know you turned out alright.”

“That’s me,” you say. “Turned out great.” And then, to change the subject, you add, “We kind of won. But something happened, right at the end, so we never got to rule over the humans we made. You’re right, though. We would have messed it up.”

“So you won. How did you die?” she asks.

“I made a mistake,” you tell her. “That’s all.”

You could have kissed this one, maybe, a replay of the one time you’d bumped noses and clicked teeth in the real version of this clubhouse and then never spoken of it again. But you don’t. You want the Terezi who knows everything, the truly colossal magnitude of your mistakes, to look at you now and say she’s glad you turned out alright.

#

“They call me the Salvager?” Tavros asks.

You’re sitting on the edge of the flagship after a successful retrieval. You still ask before dropping by, even after all these sweeps. At first it was annoying. Did he want you to wear a collar with a bell? Now, after seeing the doubt in others’ eyes when you come to their aid, you understand a little better. Continuing to ask permission is a peace offering. He’s never said no.

“That’s right, boss.” It’s a joke, but you don’t load the term with irony like you used to. “Someone picking up the garbage.” You wave away his affronted expression. “Metaphorical garbage. Providing succor to lost souls, if you like that better.”

“So it’s a good thing, then.”

“Usually. Some people think you’re in league with English, since you show up with him right ahead of you or right behind. I straighten them out.”

“And they listen to you?”

You shrug. “I’m getting well known too.”

“Do they call you anything?”

“Not as far as I know. They say you must be lucky, and that’s all thanks to me, so maybe that should be my title. Fortun8.” You count. “Nope, only seven letters. We can’t go breaking long established patterns, not at our age.”

“Do you think you’re lucky?”

You flick a splinter of dream-wood off into the sand. “Luck is a tricky thing. It’s not always what you think it is. Maybe it’s unlucky to die, but… I don’t know what I’d be like if I hadn’t. I don’t know if I ever would’ve stopped running into trouble and getting people hurt. So maybe things worked out ok.”

He nods. “They did for me. I’m not saying what you did to me wasn’t bad, because it was, but. It could’ve ended worse.”

“Yeah,” you say, “it could’ve.”

#

The next time you serve as anything more than bait, you arrive in a bubble that mixes the spires of Prospit with the craggy cliffs you recognize from home. Most of the trolls you see are Beforan, a crew you mostly avoid to dodge the drama. And you thought your teammates were obnoxious. An Aranea looks your way, but you don’t meet her eyes. The last thing you need is her “learning” from you again. John has come and gone, bearing news of his session’s near-disaster. You know what your brief stint at role-modeling cost.

“Listen up, everyone,” you call. “This is important.”

“I remember you,” Karkat’s ancestor says. Great, are you in for one of his speeches? “You wanted us to listen before. You stole our minds.”

The army feels like a lifetime ago. That version of you died with Meenah and Aranea. So many versions of you have died. But he doesn’t know that. There’s a crowd of spirits looking at you with a mix of confusion and suspicion. There’s a killer Lord of Time on his way, and there are a few minutes for you to make this count. What will make them trust you? What will make you trust yourself?

You take a breath and look at yourself from the outside in.

Who is Vriska Serket? Your past is checkered like the Battlefield with versions of yourself created for survival or approval, emulation or redemption. What you neglected to ask Nepeta was how to tell which one was really you. You can imagine her laughing and pointing to herself again, saying “This one, silly. And all the others. I’m me.”

Maybe there’s something that’s truly you, a core to your soul that persists between timelines. Maybe you’re something you make, piece by piece and day by day. Maybe you’re made by other people, what they see and what they think. You can’t control that. All you can control is what you do.

So you don’t say it wasn’t your fault, or it’s all in the past, or it could’ve been a whole lot worse. You say, “I’m sorry.” You say, “This time, I’m here to help.”

And this time, they listen.

#

On your own again, you watch paradox space crack and shatter around you. The death of multiverses puts on a display to put anyone else’s light show to shame. English is like you, the ultimate power gamer, smashing his way to a high score, uncaring of everyone crushed along the way. You can only ever stay a step ahead of him, only barely keep the damage under control. Maybe you think that’s enough, repurposing your luck, making a billion wishes to undo the damage the first ones caused. One day you’ll have to stop running, turn around, and look him in the eye. But beating him won’t redeem you. Another you learns this, dueling Jack not in a blaze of glory but with corpses at your feet and hatred in your heart. A possibility, a lesson you never got to learn.

That’s your whole existence, teetering on the brink of revelation, balanced on a knife’s edge between hero and villain, afraid to drop off because you don’t know where you’ll land. Skaia tells you that narrow space in-between is how you stay alive, after all. Who would you be if you’d ever stopped running? Would you be you?

Behind you, Lord English tears his way through space, smashing reality into splinters and shards. The bubble you’re in breaks off at your feet to make a cliff opening out into nothingness. Far below you, you can see another bubble, pearly-white and almost as small.

One day you’ll turn around and face him. One day your past will catch up with your present, and both of them will be over. But not today.

“Catch me if you can,” you say, and jump.

#kat writes fic #homestuck// #tlcverse #tlc!vriska #plus a good chunk of team dreaming dead #note: i say came to love but pr v is still on my eternal shitlist make no mistake #tlc spoilers

[entergamingxp]

DualShockers’ Favorite Games of 2019 — Michael’s Top 10

December 31, 2019 2:00 PM EST

2019 was filled with a ton of great games. Here are 10 of my favorites, one that I’ll continue to play, and one that I’ll never play again.

As 2019 comes to a close, DualShockers and our staff are reflecting on this year’s batch of games and what were their personal highlights within the last year. Unlike the official Game of the Year 2019 awards for DualShockers, there are little-to-no-rules on our individual Top 10 posts. For instance, any game — not just 2019 releases — can be considered.

Since I started working for DualShockers in 2017, one of my favorite parts of being part of this staff is deliberating on what my top 10 games of the year are. It’s a moment where I can actually celebrate video games rather than criticize them. 2019 is no different, but I would be lying if I said this was the easiest list I’ve created. In fact, it is the exact opposite.

Curating this list has been a struggle. Not because there was a lack of great games in 2019; there were so many I felt strongly about. The list you see below is my 4th revision, and I think I got it right this time. But before we go over this list, I want to get a couple of things off my chest.

2019 has been such a learning experience for me, both in positive and negative ways. My taste in games has changed dramatically, and I found a video game I truly loathe. Like, if someone mentions its name, I go on a 20-minute rant about why this game is bad. And I will now discuss these two topics with you now.

The Siegeman Cometh

I just want to take a brief moment to talk about Rainbow Six Siege. Initially, I had this game at the number 10 spot, but decided to dedicate a short section of its own. On my top 10 list from 2018, I put Ubisoft’s tactical shooter in that last number 10 spot. Although it came out in 2015, it was a game I started playing that year, and it has since become my personal “video game comfort food.”

Not only is it a brilliant shooter that is mechanically sound, and rather different than the rest of the shooters out there, it really changed the way that I play video games. This might be a whole other topic entirely, but playing the 100+ hour long RPG or whatever genre is just not for me anymore. They aren’t bad games, and there may be some long experiences on my list this year, but I put a lot of value in how I spend my time now. Rainbow Six Siege respects my time with its rewarding gameplay. I can play a match or two and feel satisfied, and then spend the rest of my day with my wife and my dog.

Now that I am actually looking at my list, that is sort of the theme here with my top 10. With a couple of exceptions, all of my favorite games of 2019 can be taken in bite-sized chunks but still be an absolute delight to play. Rainbow Six Siege taught me to respect my time, and the games that will be listed below are indicative of that notion.

YIIK: A Postmodern Piece of Garbage

Speaking of respecting my time, let me tell you about how my 2019 video game experience began. Back in January, I played an indie game called YIIK: A Postmodern RPG. I reviewed this game, which you can check out here. Playing this game was the antithesis of time well spent, as it is probably my least favorite thing I have ever experienced in digital media in my entire life.

Now, you may be staring at your computer monitor or laptop reading this saying, “this man is being hyperbolic to reel us in. It’s a trap!” I assure you, this is no hyperbolic notion. I think I hate this game. There are some good things I can say about it. Its music is pretty great. The gameplay is fine. I can maybe see why someone likes the look of its minimalist art direction. But none of that really saves the atrocity that is YIIK: A Postmodern RPG.

The moment that has stuck with me and made me realize why I cannot stand this game happens a bit later, when you have much of your party with you. You go to a mall, and there is a mysterious van you have to try to access, but you need a key. Alex, the main protagonist, asks if anyone can pick a lock. He doesn’t point to anyone, just asks generally.

Claudio, one of two black characters in your party, randomly says this:

“Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I could? Like, out of this ragtag band of misfit friends, the black guy could pick the lock. And don’t pretend you didn’t think it! So, to answer your racist ass question, I cannot pick a lock! Well, at least not a car lock. I went through a Sherlock Holmes phase and learned to pick basic locks.”

YIIK: A Postmodern RPG has moments like this where it’s as if some woke 14-year old teen decided to write about racism for Twitter likes. It doesn’t just stumble on these sensitive topics, which include racism and depression, but falls on its face creating a crater deeper than the largest crater on our moon. It is so terrible to the point when someone mentions this game’s name, even in jest, I go on this rant about how out of touch this game’s message is.

So, why am I even talking about this game? Well, for the same reason I mentioned Rainbow Six Siege. Ubisoft’s shooter taught me to respect my time, and make every session with a game as satisfying as possible. YIIK: A Postmodern RPG taught me that but in a completely different and unexpected way. In a way, it is important to me in its own unique and terrible way.

Okay. Here is the actual Top 10 list now.

10. Slay the Spire

As of this writing, I only started playing this yesterday. Going down the list of games the staff at DualShockers compiled for our Game of the Year deliberations, this one stood out for some reason. Maybe it’s the name, or how positively some of the staff was when talking about it; whatever it was, it convinced me to use my Xbox Game Pass subscription and try out Slay the Spire, and I absolutely love it.

Maybe I’m jumping the gun here by saying this is one of my favorite games of the year. I’ve only probably put an hour in with two runs — I unlocked the three playable characters — but it left me wanting to play much more. Mixing turn-based action with a card game, Slay the Spire is an incredibly satisfying experience, especially if you manage to craft a deck that actually works as intended.

Slay the Spire just has so much variety and possibility. With the three unique characters, the seemingly endless possibilities with building your deck, and constant surprises as you climb to defeat the spire’s main boss, there has yet to be a dull moment. Again, I may be suffering from some recency bias, but Mega Crit Games’ interesting amalgamation of the strategy and card game genres.

9. Death Stranding

Despite my own beliefs, Hideo Kojima actually released Death Stranding in 2019. I swore this thing wouldn’t be out until 2024, but here we are. Kojima’s latest certainly is a divisive game, isn’t it? Understandably so: there are some wild design decisions that, in some cases, works to its benefit. But there are other times you’ll just stare at your TV screen just saying, “why?”

Death Stranding makes a great first impression, as you are introduced to Norman Reedus’ character Sam Porter Bridges, a “porter” (a.k.a. delivery man) who eventually works for his mother’s company, Bridges. Yes, it’s pretty on the nose. From its use of Low Roar’s music to its intriguing story and visuals, it presents itself very well in those beginning hours. And then Chapter 3 begins.

My biggest problem with Death Stranding is pacing. Chapter 3 is such a slog with one of the least interesting narrative threads in the game. Fragile’s tale would have been told more effectively if it did not take up a third of a 45-60 hour game. With its constant backtracking paired with its clunky gameplay, it truly tested my patience.

Now let’s fast forward a bit to Chapter 5, the absolute worst portion of Death Stranding. Testing my mettle once again, the Mama focused chapter has the most laborious backtracking delivery routes within Sam’s adventure. This is where I almost quit. It was just filled with an overwhelming amount of tedium, having to trek up a mountain through 12 inches of snow. Add a terrible stealth section, and you maybe have one of the worst moments in a video game in 2019. But despite that garbage Chapter, I persevered.

With all this negative criticism, how did this game make it on to my top 10 video game list for 2019? Because I stuck around after Chapter 5. After you finish Mama’s arc, Death Stranding gets so much better. The story actually begins to unfold, with much of the quality bits of Kojima’s tale finally emerging. You also get to witness two of the best video game performances of all time. Tommie Earl Jenkins’ Die-Hardman and Mads Mikkelsen’s Cliff Unger put on amazing performances in those last two hours, making every slog through those snowy mountains worth it.

It is such a hard sell to tell someone who might be falling off Death Stranding to keep playing until the end. In fact, I wouldn’t. Please, play the games you want to play and enjoy. But by the end of Death Stranding, you’ll be happy you finished it.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Death Stranding.

8. Void Bastards

This is another game I found while browsing the ever growing list of games available via Xbox Game Pass. Void Bastards by Blue Manchu is a roguelike inspired by the immersive sim genre. It isn’t a full immersive sim, but it scratches that surface. I mean, it makes sense as it was made by former BioShock and System Shock 2 developers, two of the most influential immersive sims of all time.

Is Void Bastards on that same level? Not really. But it’s one of the most fun and goofy video game experiences I’ve had all year. You are legitimately exploring derelict spaceships and fighting weird creatures with a staple gun. Thanks to the randomly generated ship layouts, different client traits, and comic book-inspired graphics, Void Bastards continues to be such a joy.

7. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

So, I had quite a lot to say about Activision and Infinity Ward’s Call of Duty: Modern Warfare in my review, and I still stand by those statements. I do think the campaign is lacking. With all the messaging prior to release insinuating it would show the gritty reality of war, I thought maybe this will be something different. It wasn’t. There were some good moments and decent design deviations from prior installments, but it was a fairly standard Call of Duty campaign.

What has reeled me in since that review is Call of Duty: Modern Warfare‘s multiplayer. I really only play Team Deathmatch and Domination, but I’ve had a blast with its slightly reworked gunplay. I do still have some problems with some of the maps and spawning. Specifically, St. Petrograd, Euphrates Bridge and Ramazza are such a dread to play in. But generally, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare‘s multiplayer is the best the game has been since Advanced Warfare. Obviously, that is a personal opinion; please leave your “hOw cOUld yoU tHiNk CoD:AW iS gooD, bOotZ oN gRounD FTW!!!! #USUCK” comments below.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

6. Astral Chain

To be quite frank, I thought the Nintendo Switch’s slate of games in 2019 was weak, at least in comparison to the last two years. On a personal level, nothing really spoke to me. And the things that did, like Super Mario Maker 2, didn’t leave a lasting impression. Not that games like Luigi’s Mansion 3 or Fire Emblem: Three Houses are bad games; they just aren’t my jam. Despite that, one game that really stood out from the Switch’s exclusive lineup in 2019 is Platinum’s Astral Chain.

In some ways, I can see why someone wouldn’t like Astral Chain. There is definitely some clunkiness to its controls, as you have to simultaneously control the protagonist and a Legion, a living weapon that looks like something out of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Compared to other games by Platinum, like Bayonetta and Nier: Automata, the flow of combat isn’t as fluid.

However, if you can get past that clunkiness, you will find a very rewarding and synergistic combat system that is really a joy to experiment with. Once you’ve unlocked every Legion and weapon, there are so many combinations to choose from depending on what you are up against. You can upgrade your Legions with certain buffs or with its skill tree, which I found actually changed how I played the game. It really is an engaging combat system if you can get past that initial clunky hurdle.

Astral Chain also has a fairly compelling story that, at the very least, will draw you in from beginning to end. It’s not the Switch’s The Last of Us, but it’s a fun ride filled with satisfying, albeit predictable, outcomes. The Howard twins have a pretty wild adventure, and it’s one I thoroughly enjoyed.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Astral Chain.

5. Samurai Shodown

At PAX East 2019 I played Samurai Shodown for the first time, and I instantly saw its draw. It is such an approachable fighter, but has incredible amounts of depth. I feel like this description is apt for a lot of popular fighting games, but I think it is especially appropriate for SNK’s latest. Its slower pace, lack of crazy combos (i.e. Mortal Kombat and Killer Instinct), and simple button inputs make Samurai Shodown so easy to pick up. But knowing when to strike, reading your opponent, and timing those super special moves is when things get a bit more advanced.

While my time with Samurai Shodown has dwindled since it launched earlier this year, it is a standout fighting game that is wholly unique. It is truly unlike anything else in the genre, especially in the competitive scene; it brings some variety to the typical lineup we come to expect. Sure, it may not be as hype as Tekken 7, but you better believe your heart will be racing after every round in Samurai Shodown.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Samurai Shodown.

4. NHL 20

Every year, I latch onto one sports game. In recent years, it has been one of the many entries from the MLB The Show and WWE 2K franchises. But since I didn’t get The Show this year, and WWE 2K20 was kind of a disaster, it was NHL 20 that took up much of my gaming time in 2019. I should preface by saying that I played this game when I felt my gaming time was limited. Turns out, I always felt like my gaming time was limited. I’ve played hours of EA’s hockey simulator, and it never felt like wasted time.

NHL 20 doesn’t do anything too out of the ordinary. After all, professional hockey has been and always will be professional hockey. But it was a solid version of that professional hockey experience filled with great features that go slightly beyond the traditional three-period matchup, namely with its additions to its CHEL suite of modes. Yes, I did play the battle royale inspired Ones Eliminator, and a whole lot of it too.

It also just feels like the best iteration in terms of gameplay. It hardly deviates from previous entries, but its moment-to-moment gameplay just feels more fluid, which is all I can really ask for. Also, my dreams can become a reality by bringing my poor Red Wings to the Stanley Cup Finals, because that is certainly not happening this year.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for NHL 20.

3. Devil May Cry 5

I don’t have much to say about Devil May Cry 5, except Dante impersonating Michael Jackson may be the best moment in gaming in 2019…

On a real level, Devil May Cry 5 has such diverse combat between the three playable characters, Nero, V, and Dante. Every character is unique, with their own moveset, movement, and metal jam to kill demons to. Imagine murdering demons while riding a motorcycle to the sweet sounds of deathcore. That is Devil May Cry 5, and it’s awesome.

It is also a testament to the RE Engine. While it was initially created for Resident Evil VII: biohazard, it has been implemented in other Capcom projects, including Devil May Cry 5. It’s a great indicator that this engine can do more than produce beautifully rendered dark and dingy zombie houses, and weird hillbilly freaks. It can handle all the wild combat you expect from an action game with hardly any hitches.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Devil May Cry 5.

2. Judgment

Oh, what a brilliant adventure that Ryu Ga Gotaku Studio has created. Every single piece of content in Judgment is why I play video games. There are so few games that really grab my attention the way Takayuki Yagami’s wild ride did. And I mean that generally, not just in 2019. What I’m saying is Judgment is one of the best games of the generation, and everyone should play it.

There is just so much to do in Judgment‘s Kamurocho and every piece of it is worth experiencing. You can go to one part of the map and play Virtua Fighter 5, and then go to another part and stop a group of perverts from ruining someone’s life. It is just varying degrees of ridiculous, with each activity being different from the rest. Yet, it manages to stay true to itself. Everything fits into Judgment‘s wild mold of Kamurocho.

Of course, there is a main story that maintains the goofiness the majority of Judgment upholds, all while telling a genuinely intriguing crime thriller narrative. I was so enthralled with Yagami’s personal story of defeat and his uphill battle to redeem himself to no one but himself. Alongside the whole serial murder plot, and some of the later portions of the story, I was captivated from the very first minute, and could not put the controller down.

To close this off, I want to show you a scene that brings me so much joy. When I am in a bad place, I just watch this scene, and I know everything will be okay. If you know anything of my interests, I think you can guess which scene this is. Yes, it is Yagami kicking ass while pulling off gnarly tricks on a skateboard. He does a kickflip while kicking a dude in the face.

HE DOES A FREAKING KICKFLIP WHILE KICKING A DUDE IN THE FACE!

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Judgment.

1. Mortal Kombat 11

When I initially made this list, I was sure Judgment was going to be my number one. It has everything I want in a video game. A good story, great writing, a private detective kicking a dude in a face while doing a kickflip on a skateboard. But no game has taken over my life like Mortal Kombat 11 did in 2019.

I’ve been a fighting game fan since I played Street Fighter 2 for SNES. But I was never a proficient fighting game player. Sure, I could do some work as Green Lantern in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe or as Donatello in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters, but I was never actually good. I just kind of pressed buttons and hoped things would work out.

That ended with Killer Instinct for Xbox One, when I actually decided to learn a character (in this case, Thunder) and try to actually play competitively. I wouldn’t say I was amazing, but I could pull off some gross combos if I was able to get that first hit in. Then Tekken 7 released in 2017 (which was also my number one game for that year), cementing the fighting game genre as my official personal favorite. Again, I was better than average with Hwoarang, but I wasn’t great. But that didn’t stop me from learning.

In a way, that beginning step of learning a fighting game’s mechanics and picking a “main” is something I look forward to. You bet when Granblue Fantasy: Versus and Guilty Gear: Strive release next year, I’ll be doing exactly that. Finding a character that perfectly flows with your play style is one of the most satisfying feelings you can ever have while playing a game, and fighting games are filled with those moments. Heck, even challenging yourself and trying to be proficient with a character that doesn’t flow with your playstyle is equally rewarding.

Which brings me to Mortal Kombat 11, a tour de force in the fighting game genre. Like any opinion on the internet, it’s subjective. I could see why someone would think Tekken 7, Street Fighter V, Samurai Shodown, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, or any of the numerous fighting games out there is the best. But it is Mortal Kombat 11 that gets that title for me. I absolutely love this game.

It goes back to that idea of finding a character that suits your playstyle. In Mortal Kombat 11, Kabal is that character for me. But unlike Donatello, Thunder, and Green Lantern, the former Black Dragon member’s moveset just instantly clicked with me. Sure, I learned a few combos, but everything about the character just made sense to me. I haven’t felt that sort of connection to a game since the very first Rock Band came out, and I was able to play drums. But that was just because I play drums, so naturally, it was easy to familiarize myself with Rock Band drums.

That isn’t to say I didn’t get wrecked online. I have certainly been destroyed by better people, and I don’t believe I can go to a competition and do well. But this is the first time I thought that I was genuinely good at a fighting game; not just scraping by with a few combos. I actually understand the rules of this game, and I know how to use them to my advantage. It just depends if the other person knows those rules better than I do.

I guess the best way I can wrap this up is with a brief story of when I played a ranked match at DualShockers Managing Editor Logan Moore’s apartment. As usual, I played as Kabal and was fighting against either a Noob Saibot or Liu Kang player. Honestly, I don’t remember. All I remember is the character opposite of me was annoying as hell.

On the third and final match, I tilted a man into losing, and it was one of the greatest gaming moments of my life. Why? 1) I tilted a grown man. 2) I definitely should not have one that match. 3) Logan and I were howling at the TV because the match was so ridiculously close. There was so much excitement, anxiety, and happiness in just that one moment, and I can’t think of any other video game that has provoked such a response from me in 2019.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Mortal Kombat 11.

Check out the rest of the DualShockers staff Top 10 lists and our official Game of the Year Awards:

December 23: DualShockers Game of the Year Awards 2019 December 25: Lou Contaldi, Editor-in-Chief // Logan Moore, Managing Editor December 26: Tomas Franzese, News Editor // Ryan Meitzler, Features Editor  December 27: Mike Long, Community Manager // Scott White, Staff Writer December 28: Chris Compendio, Contributor // Mario Rivera, Video Manager // Kris Cornelisse, Staff Writer December 29: Scott Meaney, Community Director // Allisa James, Senior Staff Writer // Ben Bayliss, Senior Staff Writer December 30: Cameron Hawkins, Staff Writer // David Gill, Senior Staff Writer // Portia Lightfoot, Contributor December 31: Iyane Agossah, Senior Staff Writer // Michael Ruiz, Senior Staff Writer // Rachael Fiddis, Contributor January 1: Ricky Frech, Senior Staff Writer // Tanner Pierce, Staff Writer

December 31, 2019 2:00 PM EST

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