#i can hardly imagin it...

[chiptrillino]

A nice version of Zhao, you say?

we fever dreamed that part... absolutley not an option in any universe!

#chip!ask #i can hardly imagin it... #i mean there are... okay tbh there are like three fics that have like a nicer zhao #but they get into the kinky direction sooo....m #also a nice zhao would have still blown zukos ship up... #he maybe wouldn't have tryed to kill the moon #but zuko has this special talent to be a brat and just spikes this big urge to just punch him in the face... #i do love zuko! but he has a way to just... atrackt trouble and awaken agressive feelings in people...

[running-with-kn1ves]

Drunken Stupor

A/N: this is based off of that drunken yan gangster idea that I couldn't get out of my head. I might rewrite it or do it differently but this is 4 u my 1 gangster lovin' anon for now!

OG Yandere Gangster Drabble (nsft) w/ da Yan Gangster Ramble

TW: kidnapping, drunken yandere, noncon kissing (no nsft), threats, toxic behavior, 

Puzzles, accompanied by whatever news channel you could get through. Paint-by-number pictures, and shitty DVD’s from another time. Horribly thin sheets and an aching back--- you were completely, utterly, and seemingly irrevocably, isolated. The tight handcuffs around your feet only allowed you to hop around the house, barely making it to the front door before you tripped over the rug and nosedived into the cold, black floor. 

How long has it been? When was the last time you felt the spring wind on your face? You weren’t even allowed to open the windows, out of your captors fear of you screaming for help, even with him right next to you. He gave you countless things to keep yourself entertained, whether they be knitting grandma-like sweaters or taking up a different artistic hobby, anything that could keep you in one spot for long without the need to move or the option to hurt yourself. 

You were tempted to scream, to throw your half-finished puzzle at the wall and destroy the nice room set up for you that once belonged to the lone bachelor-- who, was much later than usual tonight. Your throat was too sore to keep up with the screaming however, and you pushed it to the back of your mind to try again tomorrow. If he came home all of a sudden and found you screaming at the ripe hour of 11 PM, he might do more than just threaten with one of his switchblades. 

You hated being around the bastard, feeling so terrified and weak like maybe today would finally be your last-- but at this point, you were going insane being by yourself for so long. Even a nice screaming match with him until your voice finally left you would more desirable than watching another 80s thriller that would haunt your dreams, alone. For someone who wasn’t home very often, he certainly had an extensive collection of old gangster movies, romcoms too even. But you couldn’t put Sixteen Candles on again without wanting to rip your eyes out-- not even one of his five million copies of The Godfather. Who needs that many copies of the same movie?

Your exhausted, beaten-down brain jolted at the sound of someone jerking at the door handle. The door practically thumped with the lock against the wall, dust raining as it was violently ripped back and forth. But then came the familiar jangle of an overloaded key ring, one you had heard most nights for what you can only assume has been the past month. 

Finally, your spiked anxiety crashed when you saw those familiar, much-too-shiny-for-a-gangster-to-be-wearing black leather shoes thump inside. You peaked your head out from your sitting position near the opened bedroom door, trying to get a glimpse without getting up and alerting him of your presence. It was inevitable for him to come to you, his kidnapee, but you tried to postpone the smothering for as long as possible. Maybe now was the time to chuck that puzzle. 

“You reallyyy gotta hold *hic* on mee…”

Mismatched footsteps trudged, stopping first to hit the corner of what you could only assume was the livingroom loveseat.

“Move outa ma way, couch! ..Even though you… treeat me *hic* badlyy..”

You heard the raking of fingernails on the couch cushions, the clink of a bottle rolling on the ground back and forth. You didn’t dare look back through the door crack. Maybe you should shut it? Lord knows what that would cause him to do, though. 

“You still gotts’a hold on me…” 

The sing-songy voice came closer, belonging to the madman you dreaded the return of. Within the crack of the door you saw a dark silhouette, the TV casting a face-shadowing glow that made you just an inch more terrified. 

“Hey, baby…” He hiccuped. 

“Well that’s new,” You started, looking away from him back to your puzzle. “When did I become your ‘baby’?” 

He moaned thoughtfully, thinking about your rhetorical question. “After you kidnapped me, I suppose?”

Maybe it was wrong to poke the beast, especially because he smelled like dirty whiskey and had three buttons too loose on his dress shirt, showing a deep scar betwixt his faint chest hair. A vulnerable image he’d never let you witness soberly. 

“Hrmmm….” He pushed his entire weight on the door, letting it creak open as he looked at you with a smile. 

“I dunno…maybe.” He laughed a little, giving a small snort like a schoolboy hearing his first nasty joke. 

You rolled your eyes. Damn, as if you weren’t on edge before, now you were going to have to deal with the equivalent of a murderous toddler who’s been threatening to hurt you ever since you were first brought here. Drunken fools were best left at the bar. 

But your icy demeanor didn’t sway his unsettingly good mood, the gangster opening the door all the way to flop onto your (unwillingly) shared bed. He dug his face into the sheets that smelled like you, looking at the back of your head that was pressed against the edge of the mattress.

“Was thinkin’ bout’cha…” He murmurs, tugging at a strand of your hair from behind. “Couldn’t stop talkin’ to the boys, ‘bout how pretty you are..” 

The short yanks at your hair to get your attention were becoming annoying, though you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of glaring face-to-face. 

“Told em’ how nice you look when yer sleepin’, when ya brush ya teeth, sayin’ that they’re not allowed to have ya....”

You hummed in response, trying to bend away to get closer to your puzzle. But you could sense the bubbling in your stomach, could feel that something was coming. Whether it’d be a bunch of slobbered kisses or your early demise, you couldn’t tell. 

“Oh really?” You asked, knowing he’d been adamant on not saying a word or letting make a peep about your existence in his gang-funded condo. 

“Yah, I did. Don’t believe me? Said i’d cut their fingers off, like boss does when some’n fucks up. I’d slam into em, make em watch while I...” 

He went quiet, and you thanked whatever made him. Whatever he said, you didn’t want to know; you’d already had enough of an unwilling look into his violent thoughts. 

“Well, doesn’t matter now, right... ‘cause now I gots’ya here. Mmph,” You hear him kick his shoes off, his face coming up to bury in your hair. “Smellin’ so good, lookin’ so nice fr’ me… wanting you so bad.” 

The sound of him inhaling you, his nose pressed to your neck as he shimmies his head deeper against you like a cat is uncomfortably warm. You feel two hands creep up, looking for your shoulders to push you back and make you more accessible. 

The gangster wasn’t normally so affectionate, so quiet and simple when he spoke. You were waiting for it to be replaced by his normal, angrily resentful behavior, the type that’d pull you by the hair to kiss you, that’d rant about the idiots he’d had to deal with for the day at you. But maybe, just maybe, you were in the clear for now?

“You’re acting weird,” You try to jerk away. “I’m not in the mood to entertain you, okay? Just, let me do my puzzle in peace. Go take a shower or something.”

He’s quick to respond, wrapping veiny arms around your shoulders and dangerously close to your neck. 

“Nuh huh, not unless yer comin’ with me, wanna show how much I loove you,” His head pops up closer to yours, the stressed crinkles under his eyes making him look older. “Cuz’ baby, you reallyy gotta hold on mee..” 

“Stop stop stop.” You couldn’t take the second-hand embarassment of listening him to try to sing again, horribly off key and far too confident in each drawn out word. “What do I have to do to stop you from singing again?”

“I can’t hold it in though. Love’s too strong for you, love.” His disheveled hair, once slicked back in an oily black, now strewn about across his forehead as it nearly covers his eyebrows. He presses his forehead towards you. “Lemme kiss. Told the boys you give the best kisses, lemme prove it..”

“Prove what-- they’re not even here!” You try to go under his arm-barricade, only to be stopped as he practically puts his full weight forward, dragging him with you each time you move. 

“Lovin’ you for so long, jusst a kiss, just one kith..” He reaches for your cheek with his lips, ignoring how you whip your head around in retaliation.

“No, no! You stink like a bar and ciggarettes, get off me.”

He grunts in frustration, biting down on his lower lip as his dark, full eyebrows furrow together. 

“Let me kiss or i’ll.. I’ll gut you like a fish, my lovely..” 

You stopped at that, looking out of the corner of your eye to his pink-tinted cheeks and strong neck that sweated at the sight of you. 

He puts a ringed knuckle to your cheek, huffing as his eyes go half-lidded. His suit was all wrinkled from rolling around on the bed, dirty with the day’s work and bar-stench as he forced you back against the end of the mattress. 

“C’mon, don’t make me say stuff like that just for a kiss…” He whined, scooting closer. “Maybe I’ll start singing again, y’knoww, if y’don’t come close.” 

“Please just… don’t hurt me.” You mumbled, trying to avoid that blank, dark look he often held that came crawling back a moment ago. You didn’t want that sober side right now; this was somehow easier to handle, even if it meant losing your dignity. 

“Don’t wanna, never will,” He hums, staring unbothered at your lips, as if he wasn’t holding you tight enough to suffocate. “S’just kiss me, need it bad..” 

You looked around, as if there was anyone else looking, trying to avoid the task that made you shiver inside. 

But you didn’t get a chance to reject the drunken gangster again, his wet lips coming against the side of your face. He poked the tip of his tongue out, flicking against your lip before going tongue-first into your surprised mouth. 

Anytime he had tried to kiss you, to do anything overtly intimate, the most he released was the silent huffs of a man too wrapped up in himself to let you hear anything of pleasure. But now, you witnessed the lewd shlops of his lips against yours, the neediness of the back of his throat, groaning to be deeper inside of you. 

One of his heavy hands cradled the back of your head, his stupor not caring (or rather, not noticing) how little you moved, how you seemed to be backing into his large palm that massaged your hair. 

“Loved’ya forever, so happy you were so stupid…” He mumbles between licks to the corner of your lip, diving back into the sticky warmth of you. “What kinda… mph, idiot, doesn’t..hugh, report to the police..?” 

With his arm once wrapped around you, the gangster takes your limp wrist to his collar, bringing it to hold his loose tie. He makes you drag him closer, guiding your slow and frowning lips in his one-sided makeout session. 

“Not’ma fault, making your life so much better now.. N’now, you’re mine.” He grins, a stupid little grin from the alcohol and delusion swarming his head as he consumes you, fingers coming to fiddle with your cotton T-shirt as he draws lines down your chest. “My sweet sunshine, all mine, forever n’ ever.” 

#can you spot the twilight reference in like the second sentence #idk man I love plagiarism Ig #also I hardly proofread this bc I'm lazy as hell #and its late and I havent taken my melatonin yet teehee #kn1ves rants #knives rants #writing #x reader #male yandere #yandere x reader #self insert #yandere #reader insert #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere boy #yandere male #yandere oc x reader #yandere writing #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yanderecore #yandere boyfriend #tw yandere #yandere aesthetic #gangster x reader #yandere gangster #yan gangster #yandere gangster x reader

[sergle]

also I consented for my doc to use photos / video footage of my reduction on social media and shit and he's ALREADY posted my before/after photos on his instagram. and I'm experiencing an emotion unknown to mankind, reading a bunch of insta comments about how great the results are and how wonderful the new boobs look

#just tons of comments calling him a miracle worker and being like WOW what a transformation!! #and I'm like yOURE DAMN RIGHTTTTTTT #I initially thought about not signing that consent form but I want ppl to be able to find before/afters of GIANT. boobs. #and not the ones where you can hardly tell there was a reduction. #so I like to give myself a little credit by imagining that somebody could see my results and feel confident that they can still get good #results #with biguns #sergle.txt

[buggachat]

"augh, this [media] sucks. it's all about shipping"

romance is a genre, harold

#this is the funniest thing that i keep seeing #im hardly mad at it honestly it's just funny at this point #like sometimes i'll see people criticize shows that used to be plot-based that in later seasons turned into just romantic drama #and i get that can be frustrating. but if a show has been ''about shipping'' since the pilot then maybe it's just the genre #this is like the funniest and most mundane version of dead dove #imagine explaining to a boomer or something that a show sucks because ''it's about shipping'' and then having to define shipping for them #and they look at you and say ''you... you mean like.... a romcom?''. how would you recover from that. what would you say

[azul-marie]

ada. (enamour)

fem. reader. love rivalry including ada/reader/leon. (focus on reader)

something cold digs in between your shoulder blades, sending shivers up tense muscles.

it’s a sudden sensation. catches you off guard you forget to call out to leon, whose back is turned to you whilst sifting through paper files laying across an abandoned wooden desk. the latest room you’ve snuck into seemed abandoned enough — save for its open window rocking back and forth on screeching bolts. they must’ve entered through there mere seconds before the two of you did.

warm, sweet breath tickles your earlobe. another round of shivers overtake your senses. this time, through, you recover quickly enough to react.

your hand flies to your pocketed blade and in an instant is pressed up to their throat. it is then you realize, recognize who your company is. she smiles serenely at you, acting like the knife at her neck isn’t sharp enough to slice through bone. she bears her pistol with all the grace of someone who’s caught you in her web, not the other way around.

“long time no see, kitten.”

her deadpan voice practically echoes through the silence of the night. finally surprising your partner into turning around. what surprises him further is the way ada gazes at you, almost identical to the way she did at him all those years ago.

“ada.” leon says plainly, hand hovering over his own pistol. his eyes flicker between the two of you, to the way your hand fumbles with your blade, to how she smiles a little too suggestively for someone being threatened. he’s certain you’re about to push her down, or for her to knock the knife away from your obviously loosened grip — neither happen.

instead, you carefully tuck your blade away and greet her with a coy smile of your own.

“i wasn’t expecting you here, red.” your arms cross, a guard of sorts. you knew full well of the games she liked to play. she holds your eyes as she slips her pistol back in its holster, searching for something you refuse to show. it’s been a long time, indeed, but you still remember how to compose yourself around her. it’s all rather flattering.

ada circles you, trailing her fingertips over your shoulders. her silky touch is the only weapon in her grasp, but it is perhaps her most dangerous. she takes pleasure in the way you shift beneath her watch, how your pretty face fights to remain mild. she’s no fool. she sees the smile playing at those luscious lips of yours — why bother hiding it? she’s all sultry eyes just for you, now that she’s finally managed to separate your stuffy partner’s hip from yours. seems he hadn’t changed after all. he really was the clingy type.

it was cute. once. not when he happened to be clingy with you of all people.

“once i heard you were around, i just couldn’t help myself.” her arm comes to rest around the curve of your waist. her fingers press into the flesh of your hip, easing you closer. her lips hover over the soft of your neck, almost kissing a path up to your ear. your breathing stutters, and she purrs, “wanted to stop by and catch up with my favorite girl, is all.”

you scoff, but there’s no stopping the heat rising up and over your face. those pretty lips of yours finally turn up in a smile, bashful like a schoolgirl crush. the temptation to run her thumb over your bottom lip runs strong — until an awkward, intentional clear of a throat interrupts the thought.

“i’d appreciate if you left my partner alone.” leon interjects, striding to stand tall besides you. in a swift motion he interweaves your elbows together and pulls you towards him, at once halting the hold she had on you. it’s a comfortable, possessive sort of touch. how quaint. cute little leon, still wearing his heart on his sleeve.

given the way his hand clamps around yours, he must really have it bad. what a shame. for him.

ada is slow to drag her eyes away from you. she even runs them up, down, over your lovely body for good measure. she can’t have leon thinking she isn’t willing to compete — two can play at that game. his fuming glower tells her he’s gotten the message loud and clear. as he should. she zeros in on the way his grip tightens around yours, again, cozily touching you as if you were his.

a quirk of her brow suggests ire. “glad to see you, leon. to think, after all this time, you’re still such a lucky man. who would’ve thought she’d end up being your partner?”

the two of them stare each other down with such intensity you wonder what other history they share aside from you. tension seeps into the chill of the nighttime air. leon’s coiled up so tightly it raises worry, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around his bicep to placate him. for all you know, the mysterious plagas infecting him could thrive off stress, and he’s already had plenty of that so far.

almost immediately does your touch have him redirecting his notice towards you. his intense gaze softens at your pretty eyes studying him. his broad shoulders gradually relax in your embrace. he’s visibly calmed by the simple act, much to ada’s amusement — and her vexation. her fingertips dig into her palms, wishing it was your hands beneath them instead.

“ada, why are you really here?” you inquire, and she’s pleased when you finally set sights back on her. she’s not fond of the questioning, however. she purses her lips. her expression morphs into a cautious neutral. you’re aware you won’t be getting a direct answer, no matter how much she likes you.

ada sighs, “oh, sweetheart. you know i don’t work and tell.”

guarded, she saunters to the opposite end of the room to the very window she slithered in through, overlooking the bleak scenery with little interest. you slip past leon to follow after her, grasping her fingers to keep her from going any further. pleasant warmth seeps through from your fingertips to hers. there’s no time to relish it, although she longs to feel more. calculating eyes regard you and you alone.

“leave the girl,” demands ada. “she’s lost no matter what. you walk away now…and who knows? maybe you’ll live to meet me again.”

keeping her eyes locked on yours, she brings your hand to her lips, and presses a languid kiss across your knuckles. a stain of red now marks you as hers. play glimmers in her irises. “…maybe i’ll even take you on that date i promised.”

“you think we’re gonna give up that easy?” leon’s voice cuts in, weighed with barely contained venom.

“right.” ada exhales a laugh. how true. the two of you really are perfect for one another. hearts of gold, heads full of dreams. she turns towards a silently seething leon, whose eyes pierce her every move. he does a poor job at hiding his envious glare towards your entwined hands. “how about we continue this discussion another time?”

she drops your hand unceremoniously, in favor of pressing a kiss to your cheek. the pulse of your racing heart is nearly tangible. such a sweet girl, flustered by a simple kiss. longing parts her lips in their journey up to your ear to whisper, “stay safe, beautiful.” she pulls away with an air of nonchalance, committing to memory the clear look of shock she’s frozen you into. it takes all she has not to go back in for another kiss, for there’s no knowing where her lips will land if she does.

“keep her safe for me, will you, leon? she’s really quite precious, you know.”

and just like that, she’s gone.

you nearly stumble towards the creaking window for a vain glimpse into the night she’s disappeared through. half shocked, half mortified of your audience still gaping at you, you could only hope he wasn’t put off by the instance of his flirty adversary. or the fact you had no quarrels in encouraging her.

a hand wraps around yours, warm and tight.

“careful. leaning out a little too far there, don’t you think?”

leon sounds rather relieved now that it’s back to being the two of you. ada must’ve been a sore sight for whatever reasons he’s held within. you avoid his eyes to recollect yourself, murmuring apologies beneath your breath.

then, a touch upon your cheek, the very one she’d kissed, puts a stop to all thoughts. your eyes flutter up towards leon’s. his usually somber expression has turned sour, scowling and scorned in a way you’re unfamiliar with. his hand cups your face, thumb frantically rubbing off what must be a lipstick stain ada’s left behind. the intensity of his eyes only adds to your embarrassment, makes you wish he hadn’t seen her in the first place. maybe then he wouldn’t be upset, angry with the ghost of her presence.

“here i thought luis would be my only problem.” leon mutters, so softly you’d mistaken he’d spoken at all. when he notices the shift in your pretty eyes, the sweetsoft concern that struck him weak, his gaze mellows instantly, and he blinks rapidly as if coming out of a daze. rose pink springs across his face in a blooming blush, a bigger surprise than his supposed anger. he rips his hand away upon realizing himself, leaving you curious.

“i mean—i meant, she’s the last person i expected to run into here. it’s—it’s a long story. won’t bore you with it. just know she’s probably not worth trusting completely. it’s best you’re careful around her. i’d hate…i wouldn’t want you hurt.”

his voice goes quiet at the end. his head is turned away, body tight and tense, hands fiddling with the holsters of his weapons. it isn’t like leon to speak so personally. so openly about his emotions. and you know it isn’t because of ada’s mere presence, what must be a recollection of the past.

you touch your cheek, still warm from his skin.

“you’re the one i trust, leon. we came here together, and we’re leaving together. i’m with you until the end.”

courage overtakes bashful notions. you close in beside him, reach up to push a lock of his hair behind his ear. cup his shying face, a tender encouragement to share his vulnerability with you. leon’s eyes fall back on yours too easily, too swiftly for a simple friendship. you see it; he is incapable of masking it.

it’s somewhat of an honor he’s so fond of you. it’s a reminder to be gentle with his feelings, though you yourself may not have yours sorted out just yet. but it is ascertained that you care immensely for him, perhaps in the way he’d like you to. perhaps not. there’s plenty of time to work things out.

“i’m with you, ace.” you smile, tugging his cheek until he returns one of his own. “there’s no one else i’d rather have beside me. got it?”

leon nods, convinced. “yeah. thanks.”

you pay a playful pat to his cheek, satisfied with his answer. “good, good. now, why don’t we get moving? we wouldn’t want to keep miss ashley waiting. what were we even looking for in the first place? some kind of key?”

the mention of the mission reinvigorates him. “yeah, exactly. should be somewhere around here, if you can help me look.”

“sure! let’s just hope we can get by without someone interrupting again.”

“wouldn’t that be nice.” scoffs leon, slipping his fingers through yours to lead you back towards the other half of the room. this habit of wanting you close was really too cute. willingly do you allow him to take your hand as he pleases.

all the while you will your heart not to flutter at the lipstick still staining the other, red on red alike.

#resident evil 4 imagines #re4 imagines #resident evil imagines #re imagine #resident evil x reader #re4 x reader #ada wong imagines #ada wong x reader #leon kennedy imagines #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader #i’m so glad i finally wrote this LET’S GOOOO #i. am. SICK. so sick of being “jealous” of ada in fics. like…yall see her too right? she’s gorgeous and morally ambiguous right??? #so why can’t she flirt with ME?? why be jealous when we can be in LOVE??? why not let her desire ME carnally for once?? leon? i hardly know #anywho. jealous ada + reader fics just don’t mesh w/ me personally!! perhaps because i’m not a naturally jealous person haha #but ada and leon being incredibly jealous of each other + fighting over us though? hell yeah sister

[54625]

An idea that absolutely no one should fulfill - because it would take way too much digging through VODs - but is still entertaining to imagine is a Bee style Hideduo compilation video but it's just all of the times they've referred to each other as boyfriends or talked about/to each other in romantic ways while completely out of character without any of the necessary clarification and naturally the video is titled they're really hard selling it

#qsmp #fitpac #I'm thinking about when pac was in that lethal company lobby #and said he had a boyfriend and that boyfriend was Fit #and the person he was talking to was like “oh I've met him!” (in real life) #and i can't help but wonder if that person knew it was a bit or responded like that because she thought it was genuine #and if she did know it was a bit i can hardly imagine her viewers just automatically knew #I find it so funny that Pac feels like he can just go around saying “oh i already have a boyfriend; his name is Fit 😊” as if everyone #around him has any fucking idea that that's a joke #my man it doesn't sound like a fucking joke

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

that thing that happens to astronauts

#crackpost #headcanons #of asort #not tagging this. half because it sucks. half because i can not stand the sight of solaris like this. she's so fucking scaries here #shes hardly recognizable. thats not solaris that's some different stranger with all the skin sloughing off of her #her hospital drip.... this is NOT slay #anyway i think she proceeds to do this exact same thing for the next like three weeks #imagine going up in space and forgetting abt what gravity feels like. and the next time you walk its with CRUTCHES #chat she's going to bust her ass..... nobody clip this

[ge]

feeling sooo sick to my stomach thinking about how in the span of only a few weeks/months chung myung went from acting like a foolish carefree kid to being forced to grow up and face the war and mass slaughter of his sect and family and friends head on so suddenly.. i cant imagine he was anything but confident in mount huas power, marching onto the front lines along w the rest of the great sects and families that very first day before everything went to shit.. oohh... ohhhhh..(⬅️moaning in agony

#rotmhs is so lighthearted in the early chapters save for a few darker moments so i can hardly imagine how crazy of a downhill slide #in mood the manhwa will take post chp 717....*bites nails* #rotmhs #return of the mount hua sect #return of the blossoming blade

[thatgirl4815]

Sand & Ep11

I keep remembering this ask I got a while back, and I think it's important now more than ever.

If I was Sand, I personally would not give Boeing the time of day for what he did to me. I would be livid. I would never speak to him again.

But Sand is not me. Sand is more forgiving than is probably healthy for him. Even though it is something I hope he works on for his own benefit, it doesn't change the fact that for the moment, that is who he is. That's his flaw just as much as it his strength.

Caring for people is generally regarded as a positive trait because it is, but there's a such thing as caring too much for people who do not show that same care back to you. That is the position Sand seems to find himself in continuously. I believe Ray does care about Sand, but it took so long for that to be communicated to Sand in the way he deserves. The reason their relationship has lasted is because Sand does not demand that reassurance the way many people would, even though he might want it. Words of affirmation are not at the top of Sand's love language list.

Abandonment

I don't want to prescribe any definitive long-term childhood response to Sand from what little information we have, but given the emphasis on Sand's absent father, I think it's safe to say that Sand faces some abandonment issues. Growing up, he only ever had his mom; of course he was bound to cling to her very tightly. That is where I imagine his caring behavior has stemmed from most. Additionally, having so few people on his life that he could rely on, he learned to be a support system for others and learn not to complain for what he has.

I think Sand is in a position where he objectively understands that he is mistreated. He admits as much to both Ray and Nick. But he can’t break out of this cycle because there’s a deep-seated fear in him. A fear of being alone? A fear of being abandoned? A fear of not being good enough or “special” to anyone?

I have been wrestling with myself over the past day about Sand’s behavior in Ep11. And I’ve realized that a reason why I feel so ambivalent about it—a reason I don’t like to admit—is because it’s related to Boeing, not Ray.

Sand has received the same criticism he’s facing in Ep11 in past episodes: i.e., “He needs to know his worth and tell off Ray for what he’s doing to him.” A very similar situation has now arisen with Boeing. Sand is once again trapped in the cycle. He is nice to Boeing because even after what Boeing does to him, he cannot handle the thought of banishing him from his life for good—not when Boeing is still here and willing to engage with him. Again, we see the conflict between what he knows he should do and what he defaults to.

I empathize with Sand’s plight here, and I understand that it is difficult for him to react to Boeing and Ray. Where my frustrations arise are in the way he reacts to Ray’s reaction.

Ray is insanely passive aggressive at the end of Ep11. Sand has seen this all before; Ray lingers at the bar after being told to go home, he invites Boeing over without really wanting to invite him over, and he invites Sand to get naked in the pool with them. Each time, Boeing eggs him on by agreeing, playing up the guise of “we’re all friends here!” while simultaneously making both pointed and subtle jabs at his previous relationship with Sand (the most obvious being the “we’ve already seen every part of each other” line).

I’m of the belief that Sand is very aware of how Ray feels, especially in that ending shot when he looks between Ray and Boeing. But he does not ever confront Boeing or disengage from the situation. He’s playing into Boeing’s guise, and both he and Ray know it.

In virtually every part of Part 4, we see Sand caught in this same perpetual cycle where he lets people walk all over him. While I empathize with his struggles, as I said, there's a part of me that believes his boyfriend’s discomfort with the situation should supersede that. He committed to Ray, not Boeing, and this situation with Boeing is posing a threat to that.

This is not me saying that Sand needs to scream at Boeing and cuss him out for what he did to him. But I do think Sand needs to acknowledge much more firmly that he is Ray’s boyfriend. Sand can be nice to Boeing and offer him friendship, but he cannot allow Boeing to make advances on him and hang around with them when Boeing so clearly has other intentions. (There’s an argument that maybe Boeing does genuinely want a friendship with Sand, but after the way he talks with Sand and how he handled the TopMew situation, I don’t believe that for a second).

This isn’t easy for Sand, but when Ray is right there, he has to be more direct. Boeing was his past but Ray is his present. Much like how Sand encouraged Ray to go to rehab, I think Ray will encourage Sand to stand up for himself against Boeing.

#I contemplated this a lot as I wrote it #Sand is so interesting in that one of his greatest strengths can also be turned against him so easily #I don’t think he’s to blame for his turmoil here but I think his approach to the situation where Ray is involved could be better #sending Ray home so he can talk with his ex still strikes me as both odd and just…rude? to Ray who came there to watch him play? #cause I hardly imagine Ray came there to drink and his friends are nowhere to be found #butttttt I understand Sand wants to talk things out with Boeing privately too #only friends the series #only friends #I know there are a lot of conflicting feelings on this but hey #that's what makes it fun #ofts #sandray #raysand #raysan #sanray #firstkhaotung #only friends sand #sandboeing #Boeing #Ray pakorn #sand X ray #Ray X sand #only friends episode 11 #only friends meta #only friends analysis #ofts ep11 #first kanaphan #btw I'm still madly in love with sand

[eclaire-went-bam]

npd is funny bcs not everyone in my inner circle is necessarily an equal person. most of y'all dumb as hell & yea i think i'm better overall (except for my one friend who follows this acc u know who u r ilysm<222) ! still enjoy u guys though, infinitely moreso than everyone else

there needs to be a level under equal person, but above your Average Commoner™ & all the people who'd consider me a friend, but i feel nothing towards despite continuously hanging out with them

the npd hierarchies are crazy & very strict but i don't have words for most of the tiers

#i think an egotypical would be appalled by me thinking i'm better than 99% of ppl including my friends #yeah you may be in MY circle but you're not in the elite circle within the circle yet 🤩 #an Earnest “i think i'm better than you but i also can hardly imagine life without you bcs you do brighten it often enough” #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b

[aspenstarflare]

Anakin at the briefing sitting on a bench with Ahsoka:

Anakin whispering: So then once the siege has depleted their resources, we’ll-

[Dogma enters the room]

Dogma: Sir we-

Anakin: SHHhHHHhhHHhhhhhHh!

Dogma: ???

Anakin whispering: She’s sleeping. [Gestures to Ahsoka passed out on his shoulder]

Dogma: Sir. We’re about to depart, is this really-

Everyone in the room but Ahsoka and Dogma: SHhhHHhhH!

Anakin whispering: She’s purring. And she rarely gets enough sleep. You will not ruin this.

Dogma: . . .

Dogma: Yes sir.. [Exists room questioning his life’s existence]

#ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #clone trooper dogma #anakin and ahsoka #clone wars #anakin is a father to ahsoka and the 501st #anakin is such a dad #ahsoka has anxiety and doesn’t get the sleep she needs #i can hardly imagine sleep is fun whilst being a CHILD SOILDER #don’t get me wrong I love that she’s traumatized #but like I love her but I love her traumatized parts too #it’s what gives her a good sense of humor #the clone wars incorrect quotes #clone wars fluff #star wars the clone wars

[crushedsweets]

I should draw Nina more scene but I’m so bad at remembering accessories. I take off their jackets half the time cuz that’s too much for me to keep in mind. LMFAO

#like imagine me trying to keep up with 100 hair pins and 1238393 layers of shirts and belts and tights #I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER TOBYS GOGGLESSSS LOL #chatterbox

[dulcesiabits]

lunar sigh.

summary: your best friend convinces you to move in with a stranger, but both you and xiao are running from your past.

notes: 9.3k words, fic, modern + roommates au, mentions of violence + death, bad parents + bad friends (ie scaramouche)

If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that moving in with a stranger was one of the worst ideas you’ve had in a while.

But to be fair, it technically wasn’t your idea in the first place. It was Ganyu’s, and when you first texted her that you needed a place to stay, she responded that she knew a friend who was looking for a roommate, coincidentally enough.

It’s not like you had a lot of options, so you agreed before you could lose your nerve. And besides, anyone who was friends with Ganyu couldn’t be that bad, right? 

That’s how you found yourself standing outside a dingy little apartment, lugging cardboard boxes up and down the stairs with Ganyu and your new roommate.

“Xiao is actually a really sweet guy,” she whispered to you as you passed her on the way back down. “I promise. He’s just… a little awkward.”

You glanced at the man in question. It was nice enough that he was helping you move your boxes, you supposed, but he’d barely said more than six words to you when Ganyu had introduced you in the morning.

“I’m Xiao,” he had grunted. “These are your keys.”

Ganyu had shoved him out the door when it was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything more after that, saying that he should help you move all your belongings. 

“I can tell,” you mumbled back to her. “Great conversationalist, that one.”

Ganyu smacked you lightly on the shoulder. “Give him a chance!”

“Ow! Fine, I will.”

A few minutes later, all your boxes were shoved haphazardly into your new room, and all you needed to do was unpack them. Ganyu left, saying she had a lunch meeting with some coworkers to discuss their latest business project, giving you another meaningful stare before she left.

“We should make some house rules,” you said, leaning against your doorframe, surveying the apartment: two bedrooms, one kitchen, one bathroom, and a laundry machine stuck inside a refurbished closet. You’d already agreed to split the rent. “For example, how do you feel about chores?”

“We can split them.”

“Sure. We should alternate weekends when it comes to sweeping the floor and stuff like that. I’ll do my own laundry, and wash the dishes after I cook, and you should do the same.”

“Okay.”

“If you have friends you want to invite over–” you began.

“I don’t invite people over,” Xiao said, cutting you off. “If you’re bringing someone over, give me advance notice.”

“I don’t plan on bringing anyone over, either,” you said, looking away. “Other than Ganyu, but…”

“That’s fine. You don’t need to tell me about her.”

“No using the other person’s stuff without permission, and we should communicate in case of a disagreement or to discuss other rules we should add,” you said, holding up a finger for each rule you listed. “Sounds good?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s shake.”

You held out your hand to Xiao, who looked at it with hesitation before slowly taking it. His hand was dry and calloused, his grip looser than you expected, as if he was afraid to touch you with any force.

“Here’s to our mutual cohabitation!” you cheered. You shook, once, and Xiao let go as soon as you were done.

Hopefully you wouldn’t regret this, you thought, your eyes lingering on the tattoos trailing down Xiao’s left arm as he walked into his room and quietly closed the door.

—

For most of the week, you and Xiao mostly kept to yourselves. He got up early in the morning to go and run, coming back just as you woke up to change and head out for the day. You spent most of the week unpacking and settling into the apartment, heading out to walk around the neighborhood and familiarize yourself with the area, noting several restaurants you wanted to try as soon as your paycheck came in.

Xiao would come home sometime in the evening, only nodding his head at you in greeting. The two of you would cook for yourselves, an invisible line drawn in the refrigerator: you put your food on the left, and Xiao put his on the right.

“He’s not that bad,” you confessed to Ganyu one day, nursing a mug of tea in your hands, a blanket pulled over your shoulders. The weather was getting colder as summer ended and autumn approached, the trees outside your apartment blazing with bright reds and yellows in the cooling sunlight. 

“I told you!” Ganyu had a knit scarf wrapped around her neck, her coat still buttoned snugly. You didn’t want to turn the heater on without asking Xiao, and since he seemed to enjoy the cold weather, you didn’t have the heart to. Besides, heating was expensive. 

“Where do you even know him from, anyways?” you asked.

“His uncle was my tutor in high school.”

“Your tutor– he’s Zhongli’s nephew?” you said, eyes widening. “Really?”

Ganyu shrugged. “Xiao lived with Professor Zhongli for most of his life.”

Why would Xiao leave, then? You’d only met the professor several times, mostly waiting for Ganyu to finish her lessons so the two of you could hang out in a cafe or wander around town  afterwards. He was a nice man, from what you recalled, and he gave you milk candies whenever you came over. Sometimes he’d even have your favorite snacks on hand, and you were certain Ganyu had told him what you liked. Certainly, he didn’t seem like the sort to kick his nephew out on the streets to fend for himself.

Well. It was none of your business what happened to Xiao. The two of you were barely better than strangers, and you were glad he didn’t pry into your life. You would try to extend the same courtesy to him.

Your phone buzzed to life on the table, and you picked it up. It was a call from your dad. You silenced it before laying it face down. Ganyu didn’t say anything, though she probably knew who was calling you.

Before either of you could say anything else, though, Xiao walked through the front door, bringing in a gust of autumn air. 

“You’re here,” he said to Ganyu, who waved. “Why are both of you dressed like that?”

“It’s cold,” you said. “And heating is expensive.”

Without another word, Xiao walked over and turned on the heater. “Just turn it on if it’s cold. I can pay for the bill.”

He went into his room before you could thank him. Maybe he wanted to give you some time alone to talk to Ganyu, or you were reading too much into his behavior. 

Despite your earlier promise not to interfere in his life, your curiosity in Xiao was piqued. 

—

The next morning, you waited by the kitchen counter, a fresh pot of black tea brewing on the stove. After a few minutes, Xiao came in from his morning run, right on cue. 

“Hey there,” you said casually. “I made some tea. Do you want any?”

Xiao glanced at you, and then at the tea pot, finally closing the door quietly behind him. “Sure.”

You poured the steaming hot liquid into two cups, one for you, and one for him. You cradled your cup gently in your hands as Xiao took a sip from his.

The kitchen was small, too small for the two of you to be crowding it together. Xiao was only a few inches from you, but you simply drank tea in silence. It had been your bright idea to corner Xiao after his morning run and start a conversation, but you knew nothing about him. What were you supposed to say?

“How was your run today?” you asked.

“Good.”

Silence again. You weren’t normally this terrible at making conversation, but it was hard to gauge how Xiao felt. You could usually play off of other people’s reactions, adjusting the way you acted to ensure you didn’t step on any toes, but Xiao’s poker face was impossible to see through. Was he annoyed? Shy? You peeked at his face, but he looked impassive as ever.

“Do you like black tea?” you offered. “I also have some other kinds if you prefer those. I didn’t know what you like, so…”

“It’s fine.” Xiao set his empty cup on the counter. Your heart sank, before he added, “I wouldn’t mind drinking it again if you made some.”

You smiled, watching as Xiao made his way into the bathroom for a quick shower. Really, you had only done this as thanks for turning on the heat when you were cold, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to do this every once in a while.

—

Your relationship with Xiao started to improve the day after you brewed him tea. You started greeting him in the mornings, and if he bought an extra bag of chips in your favorite flavor, he would give it to you. The two of you never talked more than necessary, and you wouldn’t call him a friend, but it was still better than what you had before. 

Being on amicable terms with your roommate was more important than ever once college started, because you weren’t getting a minute of peace with your friends back on campus.

“Hey,” Childe said, slapping your neck before you could react. He had caught you unaware, leaving you no time to react as you were walking to class. 

“Jerk,” you groaned. “That’s going to leave a bruise.”

“If that's enough to hurt, then you should consider going to the gym with me.” Childe shrugged. “What were you even doing this summer?” 

“This and that. You know how busy it gets,” you said lightly, knowing Childe wouldn’t press for details. And he didn’t. 

“No kidding! My family and I went camping this summer. You wouldn’t believe how excited Teucer was to catch his own fish for the first time. Of course…” Childe’s voice trailed off to static as the two of you walked. It didn’t really matter what you said to him, as long as you paid enough attention to react with the appropriate amount of surprise at the right parts. 

You liked him well enough, but it’s not like he was really interested in what you thought, or how you were doing. That was fine, because you didn’t particularly invest a lot of time in Childe, either. You were friends, but only in the most casual sense. You hung out during the semester, and forgot about each other once it was over. 

“Hey!” Childe yanked on one of the straps of your backpack, causing you to stumble to a halt. “Look at who it is.”

You turned to where he was gesturing, and could make out Scaramouche lounging at a table nearby, legs crossed as he scrolled through his phone with a scowl. 

Without another word, Childe ran over to him, hooking his arms under Scaramouche’s shoulders to tug him upright. You headed over more slowly, just in time to catch Scaramouche cursing Childe out. 

“You immature moron,” he hissed. “I almost dropped my phone!” 

“It’s nice to see you again too!” 

“Guys, people are staring,” you said. 

Scaramouche rolled his eyes. “Oh, great. I can’t believe both of you are back on campus. Just my luck.”

“Tough luck, eh, Moochie?” Childe said. 

“I told you not to call me that.” Scaramouche turned to you. “You. I’m thirsty after dealing with all of his shit. Get me coffee.” 

“Oh, I want something too!” Childe said, slinging an arm around Scaramouche. 

Scaramouche shuddered, opening his wallet to hand you a stack of bills. “The line’s going to get crowded soon. Hurry up.” 

You took the money without comment. “Welcome back to campus, Scaramouche.”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

You ambled off, the sound of Scaramouche’s and Childe’s bickering rising up behind you. The local coffee shop on campus wasn’t too far, but you relished in the peace and quiet and walked as slowly as you could. Just as Scaramouche predicted, customers were crowding the store and spilling out of the entrance, bored students with scarves around their necks and backpacks slung over their shoulders.  

As you stood in line, you considered getting a drink of your own. Scaramouche had given you way too much money (classic trust fund kid behavior), and it’s not like he said you couldn’t. He always treated you like his personal gofer anyways, an annoying little attachment he had to put up with when he hung out with Childe. You saw how he looked at you, but you knew how to deal with his type, so you just grinned and bore it. There was no point in starting an argument if you could avoid it. 

By the time it was your turn to order, you had decided against buying something for yourself. Scaramouche would be sure to comment on it, and you weren’t that thirsty anyways. You paid with his cash, took his and Childe’s drinks in both of your hands, and you were wondering if you could deliver their drinks in time before your next class when someone held the door of the shop open for you. 

“Xiao?” you inquired, and he tilted his head curtly at you. You walked through the door and stepped to the side. “Thanks.”

Xiao waited until a few more people scurried out until he let go of the door to join you. “You’re drinking both of those?”

You shook your head. “No, these are for my friends.”

“You didn’t get one?” 

You shrugged. “Hey, our rent is pricey. It wasn’t my money, anyways.” 

Xiao glanced at the door of the coffee shop. “If you’re holding back for a reason like that, don’t. I can—”

“No! It’s okay!” You stepped in front of him, the coffee sloshing. “I wasn’t in the mood for it.”

Xiao let out a breath. “If the rent is troublesome, I could cover more of it.” 

“I can’t let you do that. We have an agreement, remember? I’m picking up more hours at the library today, anyways, so that should help a bit more.” 

“Today? What time are you getting home?” 

“Er… 9, maybe?” 

“Got it. I’ll walk you home, then,” Xiao said matter of factly. 

“You don’t have to! I would feel bad, seriously. And I might get off late, and I don’t want to make you wait.”

Xiao shook his head. “No. It gets dangerous at night. I can study until you’re done. Text me when you are.” 

Without another word, he left without giving you another chance to protest. It was nice how sweet he was. You felt a smile break across your face; neither Childe or Scaramouche would have offered to walk you home.

When you finally brought Scaramouche and Childe their drinks, Scaramouche took one look at you and said your smile was more obnoxious than usual. 

—

You’d had your library job since your first year of college. It was just one of many different job applications you sent out into the world, desperate for a way to make your own cash so you didn’t have to owe your parents. Many places ghosted you, but the library was one of the few that replied. You had come to like being your job (as much as someone could, anyways). The hours were flexible, it was right on campus, and most of your duties consisted of helping students check out their textbooks. Sometimes your boss made you file information in the library’s systems or sort through the archives, but mostly, you threw yourself into mindless work and received a nice paycheck in return.

The first week of school was always busy, so you were stuck running around shelving lost books and answering confused students, completely forgetting about Xiao’s promise to pick you up until your phone buzzed at 9:15. 

Are you done? 

Shit. You fished your phone out of your pocket to type a quick reply. 

sorry!!!! running late >_< u can head home first!! 

Five seconds later, another text. 

I’ll wait by the bike racks. 

Your heart leaped. 

ok!!

With a renewed burst of energy, you started swiftly shelving the rest of your books. You didn’t want to keep Xiao waiting for longer than he had to. 

Fifteen minutes later, you said goodbye to your coworkers and ran out the door, hastily zipping your coat against the chill.

“Hey,” Xiao said. He was leaning against the bike rack, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. 

“I’m sorry I made you wait! I know it’s cold, and—”

“I chose to do this. It’s fine.” 

You rubbed your hands together. “Right. Of course. Thanks again.” 

Xiao ducked his head. “I offered.” 

Silence again. Nothing but your breaths clouding the air, the stars winking in the sky above you. At least you didn’t feel the need to fill it with small talk. 

“How were classes today?” you asked. 

“Good. Yours?” 

“Mine, too. What’re you studying?” 

“Biology.”

You weren’t sure what you expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Can I ask why?” 

“I want to get into veterinary school.” 

“I didn’t know you liked animals,” you said, imagining Xiao surrounded by a group of excited puppies. It was surprisingly cute.

“It just… happened to work out like that,” he said slowly. “I wasn’t even sure if I could go to college at first.” 

Could, he said. Not would. Did something happen to Xiao? But it wasn’t any of your business. You smiled instead. “It’s nice to have a dream.” 

“What about you? Do you have any dreams?” 

“I’m the same as most people,” you said lightly. “I’m just trying to get through the year first.” 

“I know you’ll do well.” 

“You say that so confidently,” you joked. “That’s a lot of trust you hold in me.” 

“It’s because…” Xiao paused, as if choosing his words with great care. “…Ganyu told me a lot about you.” 

“Oh, yeah. She said you guys had the same tutor.” 

Xiao nodded. “We used to run into each other a lot. We grew up together.” 

“I’m surprised I didn’t see you, then. Ganyu and I became friends in high school, and we hung out a lot.” 

“I wasn’t home a lot in high school. Maybe that’s why,” he said, voice tense. You had stepped into sensitive territory, and you needed to retreat. 

“Maybe. So, do you have a favorite animal?” 

“I like birds.”

Time passed like that, with simple questions, an easy back and forth. You learned that Xiao liked the color green, and almond tofu, and rarely dreamed. Before you knew it, you reached the entrance of your apartment. 

As the two of you tumbled into the warmth of your apartment, Xiao spoke again. 

“I’m going to make tea. Do you want any?” 

“That sounds great! I’ll set out the cups.” 

For some reason, it felt like the stars shone twice as bright tonight.  

—

It seemed Ganyu had a knack for roping you into situations you weren’t eager to get into. Maybe that’s why she was so successful at her office job; she probably had an easy time convincing clients to sign away their life savings with her gentle smile. 

“You’re nervous,” she noted, as the two of you huddled in front of Zhongli’s door. “Don’t be. They already think you’re great.”

You stomped your feet, trying to regain a semblance of warmth. “We barely spoke, though. The longest sentence I’ve ever said to him was ‘hi, how are you today?’”

“It’ll be fine! It’s just a casual dinner. He just wanted to get to know you a bit better.”

“Because I’m rooming with Xiao, right?” 

“I mean, yes. That is part of it. But…” The door swung open and Ganyu faltered. You knew that mischievous grin. Hu Tao appraised both of you, and then clapped her hands together. 

“Esteemed guests, welcome, welcome to Hu Tao’s humble abode! We’ve been awaiting your presence with great eagerness!” 

Zhongli’s daughter, you thought. She hadn’t changed much since you last saw her. 

“Hello, Hu Tao,” Ganyu said. “I brought over my friend for dinner.” 

Hu Tao took your hands in hers without warning. “Hello, hello! I haven’t seen you since Ganyu graduated! Dad’s basically done, so you guys can wait in the dining room.”

The two of you took off your shoes at the entrance of the house, setting them on a shoe rack nearby. Walking down the hall in your socks, you could hear the distant sounds of Hu Tao’s voice. The walls were covered in framed photos, pictures of academic men and women you didn’t know, and a few family photos of what you assumed was Zhongli’s family. A baby Hu Tao. A smiling woman holding hands with Zhongli. And Xiao. 

Your eyes lingered on Xiao’s pictures. The youngest had him in elementary school, a pout on his face as he hugged his backpack close to him. There was one where he was holding the skirts of Zhongli’s wife. A few pictures of him in middle school, bandages covering his knees as he stared grimly at the camera. There were no photos of him after that. Had your roommate really been so little once? At least his scowl hadn’t changed much. 

“He was cute as a kid, wasn’t he?” Ganyu said. 

You started; she was already at the end of the hall, leaning against the frame of the dining room. You had been so engrossed in Xiao’s pictures that you didn’t even notice. 

“He’s not that different from how he is now,” you said lightly. You hadn’t done anything wrong, but you tore your eyes away and hurried to meet her. 

The dining table was already set by the time you arrived. A bubbling pot sat in the middle, a divider separating the spicy and mild broth. Plates of ingredients sat around it, little bowls of fish cakes and sausages, mushrooms and fried tofu. Sauce bottles stood guard at the end of the table, where napkins, chopsticks and bowls had been set out in front of four different chairs. 

Zhongli and Hu Tao already sat at two. You took the next next to Ganyu, clicking your chopsticks together absently. 

“I brought you something, Professor Zhongli,” Ganyu said, pulling out a little box of pineapple cakes from her purse. “Thank you for having us over.” 

Zhongli took the package, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled at her.  “It’s my pleasure. Sit down and fill your plate. Have you been eating since you started your job? There’s no excuse to skimp on a good meal.” 

“I have. Don’t worry,” Ganyu said. 

“Come on, dad. She’s going to starve to death if you keep talking,” Hu Tao said cheerily, throwing several of the ingredients into the pot before her. 

“Of course. Come on now, don’t hold back.” Zhongli turned to you. You tried not to avoid his gaze. “You should eat a lot as well.” 

“I will,” you said.

And so dinner began. Ganyu only ate vegetables, and Hu Tao dumped most of the meat in the spicy side of the pot. Zhongli took a little bit of everything, but kept discreetly placing vegetables on Hu Tao’s plate. It was mostly Zhongli who did the talking, asking Ganyu questions about her job, Hu Tao chiming in with a joke once in a while. You tried to keep the attention off of yourself, speaking as little as you could get away without seeming impolite. 

Hu Tao was cute, and Zhongli was nice. But Zhongli, intentionally or not, intimidated you. He always seemed to pick up on the undertones of what Ganyu and Hu Tao said; even if Ganyu said her job was going well, he would simply raise an eyebrow and remind her not to overwork herself. You wondered what he saw when he looked at you. Nothing got by him, and that was why he was the sort of person you didn’t know how to interact with. 

“I heard you were rooming with Xiao?” Zhongli spoke up suddenly, and everyone’s eyes were on you. You picked at the food on your plate, brought it to your mouth and swallowed as you tried to think of what to say. 

“Yeah. He’s been a great roommate.” 

“I’m glad to hear it. I was worried at first when he said he would live on his own, but if he has someone to support him, then that’s all the better.” 

“You know, I’m sure Xiao was happy when you moved in,” Hu Tao said, a grin growing on her face. She pointed with her chopsticks, a piece of fish caught between them.

“I’m sure he would have been happy if anyone moved in,” you said, shrugging. “It’s not like we knew each other beforehand.” 

The piece of fish slipped between her chopsticks, and Hu Tao hurried to pick it up, still speaking rapidly. “Huh? He hasn’t made a move or anything like that?”

“You know how he is. Xiao keeps to himself, and I do the same. I mean, we do get along, but why would he?”

“Well— that’s because—”

“Professor!” Ganyu clapped her hands together, cutting Hu Tao off. “Do you have any dessert? I’m sure Hu Tao would love to eat something sweet right now. What about you?” She turned to you, and you could see her leg bouncing up and down the table, so you nodded. Ganyu beamed. “Great. Hu Tao and I will go get some!” 

Without allowing the girl a word of protest, Ganyu got up, grabbing her by the arm, leaving you and Zhongli sitting at the table alone. 

Zhongli only chuckled. “Forgive Hu Tao. She’s still young, and she likes to poke fun at people where she can.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind at all.” Think, think. Was there anything the two of you had in common? “Do you remember the times when Ganyu used to get tutoring from you and I would wait for her here? You used to give me my favorite snacks. I never properly thanked you for that.” 

“I appreciate the gesture, but it’s not me you should be thanking. The recipient of your gratitude… well, they mostly likely prefer to remain anonymous.” He grinned, and it reminded you a little of Hu Tao in how sly it looked.

“I see,” you said slowly. The three of them knew something you did not, but since Ganyu and Zhongli were clearly reluctant to share, you wouldn’t pry, at least. 

Your phone rang in your pocket, and you pulled it out of your pocket to glance at the caller ID. It was your dad.

“Do you need a minute?” Zhongli asked.

You ended the call. “No. It’s not important.” 

“I hope you and Xiao can look out for each other,” Zhongli continued. “He’s been through a lot. I think he would appreciate having a friend by his side.” 

Look out for each other, huh? Why couldn’t Zhongli tell Xiao any of this himself? What had happened between the two of them? 

“We’re back!” Hu Tao said, bursting in with a plate of cut fruit while Ganyu carried a plate of pastries. “Everyone ready for round two?” 

You picked a cut of plum from Hu Tao’s plate with a toothpick, and the tart sweetness momentarily chased away your questions about Xiao.

— 

There wasn’t a lot of time to ponder Zhongli’s words with college back in full swing. You had a job to worry about on top of classes, and between your shifts and your assignments, it didn’t leave a lot of room for much else. 

Xiao always insisted on walking you home every time you had a late shift. You had told him he didn’t need to, that you had done this a million times before, but he would still wait for you in the same spot every night. 

The two of you had grown more comfortable together, and you would make the effort to spend your free time together. You still made him tea after his morning runs, and there was no longer such a strict divide between your food in the fridge; you regularly borrowed ingredients from each other, and you even started sharing an egg carton. It was cheaper that way, you reasoned, but it also made the apartment feel like home.

One night, as you often did lately, you and Xiao browsed through channels on the television and settled on a cheesy comedy show, sitting side by side on the couch. Well, you watched, and he would scroll through his phone when he got bored.

“It’s snowing,” Xiao said unexpectedly, staring at the living room window.

You paused the show. “No way.” As if on cue, the two of you headed to the window, pulling back the curtains to press your noses against the frosted glass. You were greeted with soft, fluffy flakes which dusted the windowsill, the stars making soft halos in the distance.

Impulsively, you headed for the door. “Let’s go out and see.”

“Right now?”

“Right now!”

You and Xiao clumsily tugged on your sneakers and pulled on your coats. In another breath, you tumbled down the stairs, skidding across the slick pavement.

“Snow!” you said, waving your arms wildly. “It’s real snow, Xiao!”

The stars shone in his eyes as he watched you. “Don’t fall.”

You laughed, sticking out your tongue to catch snowflakes. “We could build a snowman.”

“There’s not enough snow.”

“That’s quitter talk,” you said, crouching down to drag a finger through the film of snow that covered the ground. “But when it snows enough… you have to. Promise?”

“... Promise.” 

“Let’s go! I’ve never made a snowman before, did you know that? This will be my first one!”

“I haven’t either.”

“Ah, look at us. Two peas in a pod,” you said, grinning. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know how to ride a bike, either. Ganyu tried to teach me once, but I ended up crashing on the side of the road, and…” Your voice trailed off as you turned to look at Xiao.

Xiao was smiling. He was smiling at you. You jumped to your feet, and despite the cold, your cheeks were warm. 

“Sorry. I didn’t realize I was talking so much,” you said. 

“I like listening to you talk.”

You exhaled, looking at the sky above you. Some of those stars were already dead, you thought. Only their light reached you now, a ghost traveling lightyears across the universe.  “I don’t normally like to talk so much about myself. But… I guess… you’re easy to talk to. I’m glad I moved in with you. I’m glad you’re my roommate and my friend.”

“To me, you–” A sudden ring cut through Xiao’s words. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, internally cursing at the interruption. 

“Sorry, let me take this real quick,” you said apologetically. Xiao nodded, and you pressed answer without looking at the screen. 

“So you finally picked up our calls?” A voice, colder than the night around you, echoed in your ear.

It was your dad. Oh, god. You were so stupid. You should have checked to see who was calling. You should have been more careful. You should have blocked him, but you—

“Not going to respond? Your mom and I are tired of your games. Don’t think we’re going to let you do whatever you like–”

You hung up, dropping your phone in your haste. “Sorry!” you said, bending down to pick it up. Your hands were shaking too much for you to grip it properly. “I’m sorry. That… That, um, I…” Xiao picked up your phone. You stood slowly, avoiding his gaze as you took it from him, slipping it back into your pocket. “Thanks.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize. Let’s go back inside.” Xiao put an arm around your shoulders, before withdrawing it just as quickly. 

“Hey,” you said, reaching for his arm to slip it back around you. “I didn’t say you had to stop.”

Xiao didn’t look at you as the two of you stumbled back up the stairs, but he held you reassuringly tight. At the entrance of your apartment, he paused. “I’ll make us tea.”

You leaned against him, squeezing your arms around him for a quick hug. “Thanks, Xiao.”

“I’ll always be here for you. Just call my name.”

You chuckled softly. When he said it like that, it made you want to stay in his arms forever.

—

“We’re skipping class.”

You looked up from your textbook, your pencil hovering over an unfinished sentence in your notes. Scaramouche and Childe stood in front of you. From the way Scaramouche talked, it seemed less like a statement and more like a command. 

“Have fun,” you said. 

“You’re coming with us.”

You waved your pencil in the air. “Me? No thanks. I have to study. Some of us can’t afford to slack off.” 

“Take a break!” Childe urged, slinging his arm around your shoulder. “The books will still be here when you get back.”

“I can’t.” 

“Not even if I pay for food?” Childe said slyly. 

On most days, that offer would have worked. But you simply shook your head. “Can’t. My roommate is making dinner.”

“Roommate?” Scaramouche tilted his head. “I thought you lived at home.”

“Well— things have changed,” you said curtly. Damn it. Scaramouche was the last person you wanted to know about your personal life. 

“Maybe your parents kicked you out,” Scaramouche mused. “Or did you run away from home?” 

You slammed your hands down on the table, but he only crossed his arms, daring you to try something. Childe’s eyes sparkled with interest, but made no move to interfere. You were on your own. 

“It doesn’t really matter why,” you said through gritted teeth. “Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” 

“Sorry? I bet you wouldn’t have told us at all,” Scaramouche said, scoffing. “Whatever. If you ever feel like doing something fun, ask Childe for the details.” 

Scaramouche stalked off, and Childe only gave you a smile before following. You sank down into your seat, but your eyes couldn’t focus on your textbook. You reread the same paragraph three times before you finally flipped it shut. You couldn’t focus, so you might as well go home. Xiao was still at work, but he would be home soon, and you could crowd the kitchen together, shoulders bumping as you cooked, before sinking onto the couch to laugh and eat. 

The walk home was a blur as you sped along the sidewalks. At the bottom floor of your apartment, your phone rang. It was an unknown number. You answered, putting your phone between your shoulder and ear as you searched for your keys in your bag.

“Hello?” you asked.

“So you’ll only pick up the number of a stranger, but not your own dad? I’m disappointed.”

Your keys fell out of your hands. You leaned against the wall, trying to steady your breathing. “What do you want?”

“That’s no way to talk to your own father. I wanted to check in on you, but I see you haven’t changed at all.”

“Well, Dad. It’s nice to talk to you, but I really should be going—”

“It’s time for you to come home. When are you going to stop these childish games?”

“It’s not childish.” Your voice cracked, and you hated yourself for not keeping your composure. 

“It is. What was it you said? That you would show us that you could make it on your own? I thought you would be too old for temper tantrums, but it appears I was wrong. Just come back. You’re never going to end up anywhere at this rate. What are you even studying in college?”

“I’m still… undecided,” you said, the words sticking in your throat.

“Undecided? Even though you’re in your third year?” Your dad sighed, loudly. “Enough. I see you still can’t listen to reason. Fine. You’ll come back on your own, soon enough. But don’t expect me to open the door until you learn some humility, do you hear me?”

Silence. He wanted something from you; an outburst, probably. For you to beg to go home. But… the place you called home… you had already found it.

“That’s fine, then,” you whispered, mouth dry. “Because I’m never going to come back. Don’t contact me again.”

You ended the call before your dad could respond, falling to the ground, trying to control your trembling. This time, you made sure to block your parents’ numbers and the number your dad just called you from. You wouldn’t answer any strange numbers for a while; had he called you from a phone booth? Borrowed a friend’s phone? Either way, it didn’t matter. 

It was laughable how weak you were. A few cold words and you were on the verge of tears. No wonder you were a disappointment to them. An average child, with mediocre grades, with few friends. You had no particular talents, no real hobbies, and the best you could do was run away from home.

But you hadn’t blocked their numbers or erased them as your emergency contacts at your college. Because the fact you were their child meant something, didn’t it? If you got into trouble, surely they would come running.

Even if you weren’t what they wanted. Even if they were never home. Even if you learned to smile and keep your head down, just like they told you to.

If you proved you were independent– if you proved you could do something, at least one thing right– maybe they would acknowledge you.

Your dad was right. You were a child. You didn’t feel like an adult at all. For the longest time, you thought that if you made it to eighteen, you would finally feel like a grown-up. There would be some switch, and you would finally get it together. Adulthood was your only goal, but it was just a number. When you turned eighteen, it wasn’t all that different from being seventeen, or thirteen, or eight. 

What did it mean to be an adult? You learned how to lie like one, but it still wasn’t enough. When would you know? When would you be worth something? Maybe you’d have to carry that child around inside you forever.

Hands trembling, you dialed Ganyu’s number only to get her voicemail. You tried again, but paused, remembering that it was still early in the afternoon. She was at work. She made it into a prestigious company, and look at you. You couldn’t even choose your own major. No, it’d be better to just leave a voicemail telling her what had happened today.

Your finger hovered over Xiao’s number, but you couldn’t bring him into your problems. That left only one person to call.

“Childe. Where did you say you and Scaramouche were going?”

—

Music pounded in your ears, loud and heavy, neon lights flickering across the ceiling. A throng of people you only vaguely recognized crowded Scaramouche’s penthouse, but it was too late to regret your decision. As soon as you showed up, you had been pushed inside, handed a cup of alcohol, and thrown around the sea of bodies, back and forth, back and forth. 

Someone waved at you through the crowd. You waved back weakly, grip tight on the drink you didn’t want. They pushed their way through. “There you are! I thought you changed your mind and wouldn’t show,” Childe said cheerily.

“Well, surprise. I thought Scaramouche hated parties.”

“Oh, he does. But he got into another argument with his mom this morning, so he’s trying to trash his apartment in revenge.”

“That’s stupid,” you said sourly. “And immature.”

Childe leaned closer to you. “So, why did you change your mind? Hate your roommate’s food?”

“No. Xiao is a decent cook.”

“Xiao… Your roommate is Xiao?” Childe said slowly.

“Do you know him?”

“Sort of. But… no way… hold on, I have to call Scaramouche over. He’ll love this.” Before you could stop him, Childe barreled through the crowd, returning a few minutes with Scaramouche.

“What’s the big deal?” Scaramouche snarled.  

“Tell him who your roommate is,” Childe said, turning to you.

Unease pooled in your stomach. “His name… his name is Xiao.”

“Shit. Are you serious?” Scaramouche’s foul expression dropped, replaced by something you didn’t want to name. “No wonder you didn’t want to tell us you moved out.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t know?” Childe whistled. “It’s a long story, but years ago, I transferred to a different high school in the middle of the year, right? The one Xiao went to. And the dude was infamous there. Apparently he was so wild even the security guards were scared of him. He kept getting into fights, and winning all of them. Of course, I tried to see if he would have a go with me, but he kept avoiding me.”

“Fights?” Your heart was racing. That seemed nothing like the Xiao you knew. “But why?”

Childe shrugged. “Who knows? But the point is he was so notorious the nearby stores refused to let him in. I heard the cops were called at several points, and…” Childe lowered his voice. “Someone died. He was bad news. I doubt he’s changed.”

Stop, you wanted to tell him. Stop. You didn’t want to hear anymore. You couldn’t. It felt like you were betraying Xiao. But why hadn’t anyone told you? Ganyu, Zhongli, Hu Tao… they just kept quiet. 

Scaramouche slapped you on the back, hard. Your drink sloshed. “Wow. Poor you. Rooming with a monster all this time, and you didn’t even know! Want to move out?” His voice was loud, louder than it had to be.

Scaramouche gripped your shoulders painfully. He was looking somewhere to the side, so you followed his gaze slowly… and your eyes met Xiao’s.

Xiao turned and disappeared into the crowds. Your stomach dropped. How much had he heard? Why was he here? What face were you making? No. No, that wasn’t important. What was important was how hurt he looked and that you had been the one to place it there.

You shoved Scaramouche, your head swimming. “What the fuck?” you hissed. “Why did you say that?”

“I was just helping you out,” he said sympathetically.

“No, you weren’t. You prick. You knew he was listening! Why are you like this?”

Scaramouche’s face hardened, and he stepped so close that you almost tripped trying to back away. “Me? Me? You have a lot of nerve. Ask yourself the same question. You don’t even like me. Admit it. You think I can’t tell how fake you are? You always act like you’re soooo nice and polite, but the truth is, you don’t care about other people. That’s right,” he sneered, shoving his face closer to you. “You just don’t want to get involved. So drop the act.”

The music hurt your head. The lights were too bright. But you couldn’t give him the satisfaction of making you cry. 

You threw your drink at Scaramouche’s face. Childe laughed. Scaramouche yelled, looking at you like he wanted to kill you, but you were already pushing through the crowd, running towards the door.

There was only one person on your mind.

— 

You ran down the sidewalks without a care, scanning wildly to see where Xiao could have gone. Oh, god.  He saw you. He heard you. How much? Why was he even there?

It was raining. When did it start raining? Water dripped down your face, but you couldn’t tell it apart from your tears as your feet pounded down the road in wild abandon. Xiao. Where did he go?

Wait. You had his number. You pulled out your phone, holding your breath as you called him. No response. Who else could you contact? 

You tripped, a bright burst of pain flaring through your knee as you landed on it, hard. Panting, you crouched to assess the damage. Your pants had ripped, and blood ran down your leg, but none of it hurt more than losing Xiao.

First, your dad called. Then, you went to Scaramouche’s stupid party. And now, Xiao was gone, maybe forever, because you hurt him. 

Wiping at your face was useless, but you did so anyway, despite your soggy sleeve.

Wait. There was someone who might know where he is. 

You dialed Ganyu’s number, and this time, she picked up. “Hello!”

“Xiao…” You burst out crying again, tears trickling into your mouth. “Xiao, he…”

“Xiao? Did something happen to him?” Ganyu sounded frantic.

“No! No… Not like that… I… Ganyu, I messed up. I think I hurt him, and I don’t know where he is, and I…”

“Deep breaths! Take deep breaths. It’ll be okay,” Ganyu said soothingly. “Tell me what happened.” You related the story as best as you could through your sobs. When you stopped, Ganyu murmured in sympathy. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry. I… I was the one who told him where you would be.”

“Huh?”

“You left me that voicemail, right? When Xiao came home, he was worried about you, so he called me. And I told him you left me a message and you might have gone to your friend’s house, and…” She sighed. “No, this isn’t the time for this. Listen. I think… I think he might be at the professor’s house. So…”

“Thanks, Ganyu. I’ll head over right now.”

“Wait! Wait, wait. Don’t blame yourself, okay? Can you promise me that?”

“I’ll try,” you said. “But I have to go.”

“Okay. Okay, I understand. Call me when you find him.”

Ignoring the pain in your leg, you started down the road to Zhongli’s house. It was a thirty minute walk, but you couldn’t afford to wait another second. 

Xiao. You couldn’t lose him. Because… because to you, he was…

You pounded on the door of Zhongli’s house as soon as you got there. Hu Tao opened with a cheerful “Hello, welcome to Hu Tao’s–” only to stop when she saw you.

“Is Xiao here?” you asked, trying to smile. 

You looked like shit, but she nodded firmly, all humor gone from her face. “Yeah. Are you okay?”

“Never better.”

“Come in, come in. You look cold.”

You did as she said, remembering to take off your shoes as you entered. You hovered near the door, afraid to step farther into the house. There was already a puddle forming around your feet. Hu Tao disappeared around the corner, and just before you wondered if it would be better to leave, she came back with some towels, Xiao following closely on her heels.

“Xiao,” you gasped out, but before you could say anything else he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

“What happened? Did someone hurt you?”

You buried your head into his shoulder, gripping the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline. 

“I’ll just leave these… here…” Hu Tao murmured, setting the towels on the floor, backing away. 

You wanted to thank her, but neither you nor Xiao could let go of each other. “I’m fine. I… I was just looking for you. I don’t know what you heard at the party, but–”

“You’re wet,” Xiao said abruptly, pulling back. He picked up one of the towels Hu Tao left, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Clean up first before you get sick. Then we can talk.” He grabbed your hand gently, guiding you down the hallway. You stopped in front of the bathroom, where Xiao hesitated. “You should shower. I’ll get you clean clothes. And I can wash the one you’re wearing.”

“Wait.” You clung to Xiao’s hand, refusing to let him leave. “I’m sorry. I need you to know that first. I-I’ve never thought of you as a horrible person.”

He squeezed your hand. “Even if you did, I wouldn’t blame you.”

“But I don’t.”

“Then it’s fine,” he said simply. “Clean off, first.”

In the bathroom, you turned on the water as hot as it would go, until the mirror above the sink clouded over and your wounds stung. You washed yourself as best as you could, with someone’s unfamiliar lavender scented shampoo. When you turned the water off, you discovered that someone had left behind towels, slippers and a pair of worn pajamas on the sink. Your old clothes were gone; probably thrown into the wash, as Xiao had said. You dried yourself, pulled on the new clothes, and padded out into the hallway. Xiao was leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

“Follow me.” He led you down the hall, around the corner, and up a creaky stairway. The door farthest from the stairs was ajar, and as you walked in, you realized it was Xiao’s old bedroom. There was only a bed, a desk, and a drawer; if not for his backpack and the computer on the desk, you would have doubted that someone lived there.

Xiao pointed at the bed, and you sat, sinking into the comforter. Once you did, Xiao went to one of the drawers and pulled out a first aid kit, kneeling in front of you to dab at your cuts with antiseptic.

“Thanks,” you said.

“Right.”

“So…” You tried not to fidget as Xiao carefully placed a bandage over your wound. “What happened?”

“You didn’t come home in time today.” When he was done, he sat next to you. He was short enough that his feet didn’t touch the ground. “You weren’t responding to my calls, so I asked Ganyu, and she told me you might be with your other friends. I asked around to see where they might have gone, and someone told me about the party, so I went.”

He had called you? “I didn’t see. Shit.”

“It doesn’t matter. I…” Silence. Xiao contemplated his next words as you chewed your lip. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you asked in astonishment.

“For not telling you the truth. I didn’t want you to think of me like that, so I told Ganyu to hide it from you. But that was unfair of me.”

You shook your head. “No. I was a stranger, and it wasn’t my place to know. You should have been able to tell me about it on your own time, when you were ready.”

“Even if everything your friend said was true?” he said quietly. “I am dangerous, and you have the right to know. I got into fights a lot. Not because I wanted to, but to protect myself. It started when I fought off someone who was hurting my friend, but then he came back the next day with more people. And then, rumors spread. People started to seek me out, and I kept hitting back.”

“But it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to protect yourself.”

He smiled bitterly. “Yes, but then my friends got involved. A few of them started to back me up in fights, and then one of them… died because of it. So I decided I had to leave. It was too dangerous, and I didn’t want to lose any of my other friends, or to get my family hurt.”

“Xiao…” There was nothing you could say to soothe the pain in his voice. So that was why he had been living on his own, and why there were only pictures of him when he was young at Zhongli’s house.

“My dad was Zhongli’s younger brother. He took me in when no one else would, but all I did was make him worry. I couldn’t repay him for what he did for me.”

“I don’t think Zhongli wants repayment,” you said quietly. “I think he just wants you to be happy.”

“For me to be happy…?” Xiao repeated. 

“Hey. If we’re apologizing, I need to do so again,” you said.

“Don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong–”

“I did,” you interrupted. “I shouldn’t have let my friends talk about you like that. But I shouldn’t have been friends with them in the first place. And… I’m not that great of a person, either. I… I also ran away from home. I just wanted to prove I could, I guess. That I could survive on my own, make something of myself. But I haven’t. My parents were… are… disappointed in me. I just wasn’t what they wanted.”

“You’re not your parents’ trophy,” Xiao said slowly. “You don’t have anything to prove to them.”

“But–”

“You’re a good person, even if they can’t see that.”

“How can you know that?” you asked.

“Because you helped me.”

“Huh?”

“In high school,” he clarified. “I guess you don’t remember after all.”

“What did I do?” You searched through your memories, but came up blank. If you had met someone like Xiao, you would never have forgotten it. 

“You gave me an umbrella,” he said. “When it was raining. You saw me without one, and ran up to me. You told me you liked the rain, so you were okay without one. I wanted to find you again, but Ganyu recognized the umbrella you gave me. Ever since then, I wanted to talk to you. But I had too many  enemies, and it was too risky, so I couldn’t approach you.”

Something clicked in your head as Xiao talked. The night you went to Zhongli’s house for hot pot… his cryptic words, and Ganyu’s strange behavior… You clapped your hands together. “No way! Xiao, did you buy my favorite snacks and ask Zhongli to give them to me?”

He flushed. “Who told you?”

You grinned at his reaction. “No one! I just figured it out. Did Ganyu tell you what sort of snacks I like?”

“... I used to ask her about you. And that was the only way I could think of to show my gratitude. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize! It’s cute. I owe you, my snack knight,” you teased. 

“... Snack knight?”

“The snack knight is the protector of savory treats across the realm.”

Xiao started fidgeting with his fingers. “So, now that you know…”

“Yes?”

“If you want to move out, I understand.”

“Huh? No way! I want to stay with you forever,” you said earnestly. 

At your words, Xiao’s face reddened. You could also feel your cheeks heating up as you realized what you just said. 

“Anyways!” you said hastily. “There’s a lot I need to do…oh, shit. I threw alcohol at Scaramouche’s face. I just remembered…”

“What?”

“He said horrible things about you. It’s the least he deserves.”

Xiao leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. “If you talk to him, let me come with you. I’ll keep you safe.”

You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck so you could pull him down onto the bed with you. “Okay. Sure. But I don’t want to deal with that right now. So…”

“So?”

“Let’s nap a bit. I’m tired.”

“I’ll get you some blankets–”

“Whoa! No moving.” Your arms moved down to his waist so you could pull him closer. You didn’t miss how Xiao stiffened at the movement, or how he tried to hide his face. “Stay with me.”

“...If that’s what you want.”

“Oh, I want it. You know, other than Ganyu, I don’t think I’ve ever told someone so much about myself. You’re special to me, Xiao.”

“You’re special to me, too,” he said quietly.

You closed your eyes, curling against Xiao’s comforting warmth. There was still so much you had to do. You still needed to sort things out with your family and your friends… ex-family and ex-friends, you supposed. And there was college, and your job, and the horribly unpredictable future. But all you wanted to do was hold Xiao close as raindrops drummed on the roof. 

There would be a time for all of that later. Right here, right now, you were with Xiao, and that was all you needed.

#liya writes #genshin impact #xiao #xiao x reader #xiao genshin x reader #xiao genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #ITS DONE!!!! #I can hardly believe how long this ended up being OTL #anyways if you gave this a read. thank you! i hope you liked it <3

[hjartasalt]

Two of the grocery stores here have personalized-ish coupons, so I'm always getting money off the price of things I've bought, which makes me buy them again, which means I'm eating so much chili and cabbage! That store is controlling me!

I eat an insane amount of yoghurt just because it's so cheap at my local grocery store. I'm going through at least two liters weekly lmao

#ask #senpai in the streets #I can hardly imagine how much more I'd be buying if they had this sort of deal hahaha

[that-green-haired-swordsman]

One of my favourite things about Sanji is the other east blue members of the straw hats were like "ooooooh Roronoa Zoro" and he was like "eeeeeeeehhh what a fucking asshole"

#He had his perception of Zoro down in 0.024 seconds #People might say now that it really started during Arlong Park or Little Garden #But they noticed they're hardly compatible during Baratie arc I'd say #It's when we're introduced to their opposite natures #And I can imagine that Sanji doesn't really have respect for bounty hunters no matter how notorious they are #I could make a post about how zoro's big balls attitude probably triggers Sanji on many levels but I'm too lazy as of now lol #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #One piece

[forcedhesitation]

stop fucking flirting with me, you rancid little man

#bg3 #thoughts about media #never had this dialogue before. durge exclusive or...?? #either way- I'm lying astarion. please keep talking about murder. it does something for me personally. #also LMAO at him “hiding” his vampirism. baby I can SEE your fangs and bite mark. you aren't hiding shit. #imagining him asking corydalis this and corydalis having to explain that decapitating him would be difficult due to his scaly skin. #with the parasite- his abilities are weakened and thus he can actually be poisoned whereas normally he is immune. #he'd admit he's always been curious what it's like to be poisoned lol. #you know. despite only having fully beat the game once- I have nearly 500 hrs in bg3. #I've half finished many campaigns. and now. when I must begin an adventure with no corydalis to return to... #...well it hurts. it is not the same without him...I will forever treasure him and experiencing the story alongside him. #this new character is a durge. aaaanother tiefling because I enjoy them. he isn't Actually the durge lorewise though. #I had my own story already formulated for him. even before I made him in game. I think I still want to keep him a bhaalspawn though. #if not bhaal- he'll be tied to myrkul. since corydalis has existing beef with myrkul. #he's got body type 1 instead of 2 and goodness it is SO strange to Look Up To the gents. like what do you MEAN they are TALL?! #astarion is like a little mouse. he is not supposed to be tall! wyll has transmasculine short king allure. he is not supposed to be tall! #gale can be a LITTLE tall. I guess. but he's such a sopping wet cat of a man. I can hardly imagine him being THAT tall. #none of them are taller than corydalis! bar halsin and karlach of course.