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#i cant even explain it myself lmao
wikiangela · 6 months
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wip wednesday
tagged by @jesuisici33 @callaplums @daffi-990 @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie 💖💖
made a bit of progress on the sick fic so here it is🤷
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“Maybe we should get you to a doctor.” Buck muses, wrapping the blanket over Eddie’s shoulders.
“I don’t need- I just closed my eyes for a second. I’m fine.” he grumbles, fumbling with the blanket too long to want to actually throw it off, but he does in the end – he’s cold and refuses to admit it, and he’d rather sit here and pretend he’s fine. He’s impossible.
“Eddie, that cough did not sound fine.” he points out. 
“Buck-” he sneezes, and then wraps the sleeves of his hoodie over his palms. Buck raises his eyebrow, and Eddie pointedly avoids his eyes, as he not-so-discreetly wipes his nose with a sleeve. 
“I bought tissues.” Buck reaches for the bag and digs out a box, then tries to give it to Eddie, who, instead of taking it, just levels him with a stare, as he sniffles loudly, and swipes a sleeve under his nose again. “Seriously? You’re gonna be gross and disgusting just to prove you’re not sick?” That’s a new level of stubborn Buck hasn’t seen from Eddie yet. He can’t believe this is the man his heart decided it wants. And that even while sick and gross and stubborn and ridiculous, a part of Buck is still endeared by him.
“I’m not.” Eddie insists, sounding so congested Buck swears he can feel it in his own sinuses. “Let me just finish my coffee, and then I-” another sneeze. “Have so much to do today.” he finishes, but at least this time he reaches for the tissues, looking anywhere but at Buck, cheeks red.
“Yeah, no, all you’re gonna do today is rest and take some medicine.” Buck says decisively, then takes the bag in his hand, and slowly starts walking to the kitchen. “Get comfortable, and I’ll just put this all away and be right back. I bought meds, tissues, and something to cook you some soup-” he starts listing off, getting louder the further he gets. “Oh, and stopped by the farmer’s market to get honey. Did you know that honey has antioxidant and antibacterial properties?” he asks excitedly, ready to tell Eddie every single thing he found in his quick research. Buck learned a long time ago that with Eddie he doesn’t need to hold back and can rant and ramble all he wants, and Eddie is happy to listen to him.
“Yeah?” Eddie yells back, voice hoarse and strained. Buck can hear the couch shift as Eddie gets comfortable, maybe even finally lays down. He knows Eddie won’t just give in and admit he’s sick, but this is a start. “Why don’t you tell me all about it?” he sounds genuinely interested, though also really tired. 
“I will, just a sec! I’ll make you some tea with lemon and honey, how’s that sound?” he asks, and gets a grunt in response, though he’s not sure if that’s an answer, or if Eddie’s just trying to suppress a cough in an attempt to hide that he’s sick, as if Buck didn’t already know. He chuckles to himself. He really has his work cut out for him today.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gayarthur @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @eowon @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @hoodie-buck @spotsandsocks
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dailykugisaki · 2 months
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Day 124 | id in alt
A little bit of a rematch and my opinion on why you never see Mai's six(seven) shooter again.
Read from left to right.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#zenin mai#i was on that crazy shit when coloring thay in-between panel#i just wanted to make it look like it was two seconds short of being a comically fucked impact frame#we all know mai was tweaking the fuck out when her gun shattered it took her half a business day to walk up to Kugisaki and try to shake he#they hate eachother they do violence#Kugisaki had another nail in her hand but its blocked off by the thick ass borders lmao#writing for Kugisaki is like breathing air#IM FUCKING SERIOUS BTW IF I SEE ANU SLANDER ON KUGISAKI I WILL FUCKING CAST 1000#1000 PLAUGES UPON YE I WILL NOT TOLERATE SLANDER ON MY GIRLS NAME FRRR#Plus tbh. be creative with it. Jjk fans regurgitate the same shit over and over snd most of the ones i see cant comprehend shit unless#unless its shoved down their throats and even then its like a 50/50#anyway i just love thinking Kugisaki always just bites back shes built like that built aggressive#bear agenda Kugisaki is still hear yall trust trust#also now i low-key have a simmering animosity towards Fushiguro. some people just make me mad. its almost getting as bad as the#the hate i have for yuta. i will not explain myself and i WILL mind my own Business#i will draw yuta for other folks tho#its whatever your honor#maybe my sodium intake is catching up with me#the lizard comment low-key stems from the fact i aggressively called the queen of England a biped lizard#i dont fade into weird political theories but it was kinfa funny to me#ive been thinking about making an au where Kugisaki is a robot. trust i can make anything work#i will not elaborate
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djinn-ale · 1 year
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girls when they bite and maim and plot your demise
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macroglossus · 4 months
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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
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ofpd · 1 year
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having a grown up esque job to do is so silly like there was something that was explained to me months ago that i could not wrap my head around and now i had to figure it out for myself and it's so easy lol
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cinnabeat · 6 months
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i should catch up with twsb.......
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phantommarigold · 1 year
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me when I want to say something and type out a whole long thing and then decide actually I'm not good enough to talk about this or no they don't want to hear it and ah but what if I'm wrong of course I'm talking from a place of privilege and ignorance and my worldviews are too black and white and
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hella1975 · 1 year
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HELAL
I have a lot of stuff running through my mind rn and im in a hurry and idk if its going to make sense but oh well.
(its list anon and I have another thing to add to my 'favorite things about finding myself in Hellas circle of existence list thing)
The thing is how much your personality sinks through into your writing and blog thing.
Let me explain,
I lost internet for a few days and I just got it back and was scrolling through tumblr and noticed one of my mutuals reblog something of yours and I was like 'I havent been on the internet for like four days, I wonder what Hella has been up to.' and so I started stalking you (as one does) and like scrolling through your blog and everything and I came across the post you thinged about your hometown and about how shameful you are about your writing and that sent me into a spiral because I know the feeling and couldnt put it into words and I felt so called out.
Thats besides the point.
I had this thing to add to the list for a while and couldn't figure out how to explain it without seeming weird so Im just doing my best here.
It's like when you post things about the things that go on in your mind. I touched on this in my first list thingy with the whole 'when you post little snippets of whats going on in your mind and turn it into what I can only describe as poetyry' part. It's simular but it's not the same.
It's really easy to see someone and follow someone who is so eloquent and brilliant and hold them close to divinity and think about how untouchable they are, which seems weird because I'm on Tumblr of all places. But like when you follow your favorite authors on twitter or instagram and they seem almost inhuman. And sometimes it feels like being that talented is so unattainable because you're not them, you can't spew out flawless lines of words seemingly effortlessly and you cant come up with a plot that clever and even if you can't you can't give the story justice because you're not that good of a writer.
Even other writers on this site are like this and so...ethereal almost. I've mentioned before how a lot of other writer almost run their blog like a business and everything and you scroll through them and see people constantly sending them asks about their works and sending them fanart and people obsessing over their art and like I said it seems unattainable for your average person. Like I dont get that so maybe I'm not that good.
Then I come to your blog and you talk about situations I relate to and you don't hide your humanity and you talk about your classes in economics of all things and your home town and all your problems (while valid) are normal. You're more relatable than the other writers I follow at least.
I've mentioned in other asks ( I dont think they were list ones but they might have been idk ) that you inspire me a lot. This is why. Also the fact that you're my age (I'm 18) and your not in your 20s and you havent taken a decades worth of writing classes and you dont have a degree in literature. You're literally just person living a normal life. That's not to say other authors and writers arent just normal people but you just show it a lot more, idk.
Like reading things like taob and tbos and then going to your main blog and seeing the way you write your stuff in your mind and then going two posts down and your talking about normal things makes me think that maybe I can write something incredible too one day.
And the reason I have the ability to feel that way in relation to you and your stupid blog (affectionate) is because you let your normal personality show, not some robotic businessy- type personality.
That's not to say that I don't think your just an average person, average people can't describe things so rawly. But, like I said, you're not untouchable.
Based on what I see from you and what you show online, I really think that you have the potential to be great one day. Not that you should hold yourself and force yourself into a life you don't want, like if you don't want to be a famous writer, don't be. But I genuinely just hope that you grow up and find a career you're happy in.
More than anyone I see on the internet, you deserve to live a life that you absolutely love, no matter what that might be.
I said it before that I always feel really obsessive when I send asks like this, and I feel creepy, so if I come off that way I'm sorry. I just try to make it a point to tell people when I enjoy them as a person.
Also I have some songs that kind of remind me of you.
The first one if Vienna by Billy Joel. I think the chances of you not knowing this one is very slim because it's such as popular song right now. But it's my favorite song and it reminds me of you.
The other one is read all about it by Emili Sande (pt 3 is the best) I think this song is also pretty popular, it also might not be, idk. But it's one of those songs that not a lot of people that I show it to like. Idk why. The vocals are weird (in my opinion) but I love the lyrics.
If you already know these songs just ignore this part :)
ME WHEN LIST ANON:
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#bestie beloved my best friend my rotten soldier listen let me tell you something listen listen#every time you send an ask like this i read it and then REFUSE to answer it for a while#(sorry about that)#and i just hold onto it sometimes for weeks sometimes for MONTHS#and it sort of feels like it's just you and me and it feels so special and i come back and reread it#because you make me fall a little in love with myself? not in a narcissistic way#but just in such a tender soft 'maybe things are going to be okay' way#because for how dark and messy it feels to BE me i forget that no one else sees that#and the person i fought so hard to be is someone people... like??? and admire??? to THIS extent#even if it's just one person it's such a euphoric feeling i cant explain it#please never stop sending these i mean yes you can i doubt youve got much to say anymore bc bestie youve sent an ESSAY at this point#(<- that feels like it comes across judgey but i am trying v hard to convey the adoration i have for these asks so i promise it's not LMAO)#god i just. yeah. thank you. genuinely from the bottom of my heart thank you#okay tears wiped away hair fixed eyeliner partially smudged SONG RECS#WHO THE FUCK DID YOU REC READ ALL ABOUT IT TO AND THEY DIDNT LIKE IT???? i'll hunt them for sport fr#i was OBSESSED with that song when it came out like even as a kid ive had this audio thing#where i completely hyperfixate on audios and that often includes songs (why did i never clock i had adhd)#like i remember being like 8 years old and putting 'in the ghetto' by elvis presley on loop on my barbie stereo#and my dad was like why the fuck is she listening to THAT of all things on loop SKDJHJSH#but ANYWAY THIS SONG WAS ONE OF THOSE SONGS I TOTALLY LATCHED ONTO#I PLAYED IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES GENUINELY#and omg vienna. beloved beautiful song and you saying it reminded you of me actually made me realise how ur asks make me feel#ur asks make me feel like im a girl in a song and it's just such a <33333 mf u give me butterflies#kisses u kisses u kisses u#ask
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jvzebel-x · 1 year
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🦋
#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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Note
I just want to say you’re amazing and your blog literally makes my day.
I’ve had some of the most stressful few months of my life and little things like getting updates from this blog makes everything so much better. My current favorite thing to do to de stress is just go through your blog and laugh and see our favorite boys and have fun. Your art is incredible, your comments give me life and this feels like such a happy and welcoming environment. Thank you so much, I don’t know what I would do without this ☺️ I hope all is well for you and you have a great night/day!
and if you look to your left you'll see the dude running this blog crying and sobbing while chugging a two liter bottle of canada dry AWWWWW BROO 😭😭 i'm so glad my blog can be a lil haven- a lil place to just chill even :'))
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lorephobic · 1 year
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the differences between bdubs and ethos sotf2 povs is making me lose my mind. bdubs is crawling around in the dark getting scared by his own footprints and barely saying a word as if he’s somehow going to get heard despite there being push to talk prox chat on the server. he gets mad at doc for pointing out a game-breaking glitch because it ruins his immersion. his pov is accompanied by the most serious moody soundtrack and editing that pushes this idea that This Is Life Or Death. For Real.
and then u watch ethos pov and hes drinking toilet water. hes taking a lovely little boat ride around the server. hes shooting zombies from an airplane and blowing up helicopters just for fun. absolutely no stress. thinking about their interaction in this series knowing ethos perspective now is so fucking funny because bdubs pov is so god damn bleak that his and ethos brief teasing feels like an oasis. it is the only bit of joy in two hours of high-tense misery. but to etho its literally like. just another tuesday. he loses sight of bdubs and could not care less. hes here to fly planes and fuck around and flirting with bdubs is just another part of that.
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depresseddepot · 1 year
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explained autism poorly today. will never recover from this
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myfirstandlast · 2 years
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i feel like i want to sing like i want to be in a band like i just want to be involved in that world
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fickkkin · 4 months
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i mean, alternatively, guess i just kinfirmed him?
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lovecrazedpup · 6 months
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when my friend is at work so i cant cry in call with him !
#ngl i genuinely cant find the energy to cry . im just making issues again man its so fucking stupid . i should just kill myself#he doesnt love me and he never will and hes fucking busy playing games with other people because im constantly crying and upset#and its like he doesnt care !!!!!! who do i even talk to anymore bc this is . awful#im trying so hard . i really am but fuck when everything is going through my mind its just#i just want to apologise forever but i dont know how to show that im actually sorry#like at least my ex was straight forward with how to apologise ?? it was just 'send me photos of your cuts and i know youre sorry'#but obviously i cant do that now LMAO#maybe its better if i just message out my thoughts and send them to him but its also like . its so obvious you dont want to talk to me#me : *nearly crying and about to try and explain why im going to kms* him : awful timing but i need to leave haha i will call you back ???#like im sorry but dont even bother calling me back :)#ive been clean for 8 days . its so pathetic#i dont want to hurt myself but i literally have nothing else to help me#i dont want to be a burden im trying rlly hard to just stop how i feel and im trying to be a perfect girlfriend who is only happy#but i just cant . it is so hard when all im thinking abt is how he hates me and how i mean nothing and how im always going to be worthless#i unironically miss when it was him being upset and talking to me abt it because i wasnt the one being emotional and vulnerable#like i was just there to help and make him feel better lol#i think ill be better after i cut bc thats what happened last time so#whatever we ball#jamie.txt
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Talking with Oliver really is the best tbh
#miranda talking shit#Its a roller-coaster for sure. And im sure it is for him as well lmao#I started to tear up bc i thought about Fabian having have told me he really wants to be a father one day and he was so hopeful sounding#So i started tearing up bc i thought of that memory. And Oliver wad like... Why are you crying ? And i wad like... Bc i thought of Fabian#Telling me he wants to be a dad? And after a while he wad like 'i dont understand. Like you saying youre emotional bc#Fabian. Wanting to be a dad like wtf?' and i laughed bc... Yeah that does sound strange to say. To me its natural bc i can recall how he#Sounded. Ive learned to recognize his diffrent tones and he sounded so happy and hopeful and cute so to me that's precious memory#And i talked more than i usually do in general. And shared more and yeah im anxious about that but it was nice#He said one thing that almost made me cry but then i remembered the way of thinking 'he didn't mean it as an insult to me just a fact' so i#Was fine. Aka he said something like 'i think you think youre understanding. But there are things one cant understand if you have not#Experienced it' and thats true. I try to be understanding but also i know i cant understand everything because i have no reference to#Everything. Talking with Oliver is so fucking refreshing for me bc of how diffrent he is and how he talks in general. He says what he feels#Or tries to. I find that great tbh. Open communication and i dont have to think about it and guess bc he'll explain to me instead#So even if i cant relate or understand i will usually hear another diffrent opinion and its fun.#'i think being emotional is nice. I wish i was more emotional. Its nice that you and other people like you are that'#Getting even an general compliment from oliver is a big boost for my ego lol. He hates saying things you personal terms#Im guessing its bc hes scared of intimacy in general meanwhile im ... Kinda similar. I say we often and like to see myself as part#Of an group. Aka my friends. But i will say shit i think openly and be sappy unless i think people wont like it jskfksjajnfjf#It was fun to hear something positive from him tbh. I always admire people and their diffrent qualities but i assume they dislike mine#So hearing someone liking my... Less popular/fun traits is always nice. I know im emotional and sensitive but 9/10 times people find it#Annoying. I personally dont dislike that part of me. When i do its bc i know others think im too much so i dislike making then uncomfortabl
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