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#i did not ask ma'am
gunpowdercarousel · 7 months
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Karlach's funny because most of her voice lines are just her being goofy and silly and innocent, but then out of nowhere she'll suddenly say - in the sexiest tone of voice you've ever heard in your life - "Let's cook with fire, baby." and it's like okay excuse me, ma'am, who gave you the goddamn right to do this to me right now?
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beaft · 5 months
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accidentally went full victorian orphan boy mode (low iron/blood sugar crash) at the dr today and it was like the worst possible time for it to happen bc the nurse was asking me all these questions and i was just fighting for my fucking life trying not to put a hand to my fevered brow and topple elegantly to the floor
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beggars-opera · 2 months
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Parallels Between My Catholic Elementary School Experience and the Salem Witch Trials That Should Not Have Happened:
My principal was a tyrannical nun and became incensed when she realized that the entire student body did not know their prayers. I cannot for the life of me remember how she came to this apparently stunning but unsurprising realization, considering we were a school and not a convent. However, she decided to rectify this by bringing a toy voice recorder/microphone to my fifth grade classroom and forcing everyone to stand at the front of the room and recite the Lord's Prayer into it, berating the students who didn't get it right. One girl who was definitely not raised Catholic kept messing up because she was intimidated and crying and our teacher had to step in and make the principal stop.
Also one time she almost ran over one of my friends with her car but for some reason I cannot imagine Judge William Stoughton recklessly driving a carriage.
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theinfinitedivides · 6 months
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'why did you do this?' 'there's someone i have to protect in my heart.' LEE HAE F*CKING RYEON WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT
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essektheylyss · 1 year
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Is there any Essek scene in particular you’re hoping is included in the show?
Oh man oh god oh fuck. This list could go on SO long.
To be fair, the thing with Essek is that there are a lot of very small and fun but not narratively load-bearing scenes, and then a few major scenes that have a decent amount of narrative weight to them. For instance, the first study scene (the second is important but could be combined into it if that the pace required it), the Scourger incident, the dinner, and most of episode 97 have a lot of narrative impact, either for Caleb's arc or for the plot as a whole. I've already suggested I need to see the ninth floor tower conversation animated like a fish needs water to breathe, and I'd love both the times Essek physically pulls Caleb out of danger, of course.
There's also a lot of wiggle room in how you pace the Nein and break up their arcs (which I think was more rigid translating campaign 1 to LoVM—even when arcs are shifted around, the sequences of events are kept somewhat orderly) which means that speculation is pretty hard, particularly when it comes to Essek, who meets the Nein so far into the campaign. Basically, any of these things might not be as narratively necessary by then, depending on what they choose to cut or focus in on. I could speculate on that, and I'm sure I will extensively, but at a certain point I might as well just write a series worth of scripts as a fun side project.
That being said, I do really hope the Scourger scene remains, because it is so cinematically interesting, and I do consider it a major turning point between the wizards, regardless of either of them realizing it at the time or not.
And I also really want to watch him have a panic attack over whiskey cocoa. It is in no way load-bearing, but nonetheless, I would like to see it, and I think I deserve it.
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spyglassrealms · 1 year
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How can I gaslight my parents into thinking I’m a stripper? I mean how can I instill just a hint of the possibility into their minds I miiiigt be one? Like not enough for them to ask about it, but enough for them to question it and wonder if they’re reading into things or not? I’m a young lady who still loves with them. I have a good job, have never gotten a speeding ticket, kissed someone, or really often into any trouble, but that’s boring. I need to spice stuff up
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........ ma'am I am a worldbuilder?
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morhath · 7 months
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hey I saw your tags on that one simpsons linguistics post and like legit curious... what's linguistic relativity? (this is assuming you'd wanna talk about it; if not feel free to tell me to google it 👍)
as much as I love a good rant sadly I have a migraine on top of COVID so I am not up for one right now, so yeah, I recommend looking it up to get The Full Info, the wikipedia page is pretty good
it's also known as the sapir-whorf hypothesis but that's inaccurate
there's a strong version ("language super controls how you think") and a weak version ("language influences how you think a little bit") and as you may be able to guess the strong version is almost definitely wrong while there's decent evidence for the weak version
the basic points of my Entire Rant are:
honestly I'm still a lil suspicious of the weaker version at times/at least suspicious of how it's interpreted
I would like to confiscate the strong version from sff authors for at least twenty years. no more linguistic relativity for you. you can't use it anymore. I'm so tired. Ted Chiang you get an exception because Story of Your Life (short story that was the basis for the movie "Arrival") is very good even if it is scientifically inaccurate. but I think it's overdone, frankly often stupid, and playing into public perception of this kind of stuff which is a problem because...
so much racism all the time (this is a huge part of the previous two points) (I cannot overstate how much racism I encounter with this stuff) (primarily in non-linguistics spaces but still) (I've even fallen for it when I was younger and just interested in linguistics but hadn't studied it yet) (it's so pervasive and so many people believe this shit) (obvi you can't just Take This Theory Away b/c people are being racist about it but I really don't love how people generally talk about/use it)
giant disclaimer tho that this is not really My Area of linguistics so I am BASICALLY a layperson here
also the full rant involves exploding babies and [other main interesting bit redacted because it occurs to me there's a possibility for some sort of paper or talk there actually and I keep SAYING I want to return to the cold and unloving arms of academia]
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sleepysak · 2 years
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at this point a combo of working (and enjoying) a very public-facing job, and being a child of the internet, has made me numb to some fuckin Wild patrons.
like i answered the phone today with a "hello this is sam how may i help you?" and get the cold open of this patron telling me "you dont sound like a sam."
like idk what to tell you sir theres samuels, theres samanthas, and then theres fools who dont hang up on your sorry ass immediately named sam.
later in the conversation when i told him we couldnt drive over to his House (his personal living quarters!) to pick up the sewing machine hed like to donate (with our own city vehicles!). because. like. this is a Library. he asked me, in response,
"do any men work at the library?"
and when i didnt respond fast enough because what, he REPEATED
"do any men work at the library?"
bro. the sewing machine being heavy is not the problem here
anyway i dont need to watch dramas i just clock in and become a side character in a sitcom written by a monkey w/ a typewriter.
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p2ii · 7 months
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I've seen you brassgogglesposting and so i need to ask: have you listened to steamworld heist version yet? (asking because of the way the spine sounds here) [it's for sure an expirience]
I haven't actually :OOO
I check it out tho and you're right ITS SO GOOD.
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softquietsteadylove · 9 months
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Fo the mermaid au!
Thena asking gil how human reproduction works. Now that she knows what "the thing" in his pants is for, she wants to know what exactly is between her legs and why it feels so funny.
"Gil?"
Gil groaned, turning over in bed--trying to turn over.
"Gil!"
He blinked, finding a curtain of blonde hair around him as he stared up at the light of his life. He sighed, "yes, Angelfish?"
"I need to ask you something."
Light of his life, he reminded himself; he rubbed his eyes, "can it not wait until morning?"
"No," she whispered, still perched over him like a predator waiting to pounce. She waited until he was done rubbing his eyes to ask, "how does human reproduction work?"
"What?!"
She winced, his sudden outburst and the volume of it hurting her much more delicate senses.
"Sorry, sorry," he rushed, holding his hands over her ears and then her cheeks. She frowned at him, "I'm sorry, Thena. I just...didn't expect that."
"Well?" she implored, looking at him with those eyes. He had never really gotten to see them like this, but they had a faint, almost gentle glow to them in the dark.
He sighed again; it wasn't as if this was out of nowhere. But had he been doing his very best to avoid it for as long as possible?--yes. "What makes you ask that, sweetheart?"
Thena didn't move off of him, but did lean back from all fours to sitting on him. "I...was thinking."
Gil's hair stood on end.
"Of," she looked down at his chest, her finger moving through his chest hair idly. "When we were on the couch."
Gil blushed, but did his best not to rush, nor discourage her. He nodded, "okay."
"I have never taken a mate," she admitted quietly. She had said so before, but a veneer of vulnerability came with this statement, as well as what followed, "but I find myself...curious."
"Right," Gil sighed, looking up at his ceiling for a second, trying to think of how to approach the delicate subject.
"I know how it works for mers," Thena pressed on, leaning closer to his face again. "I have asked, I know what happens when one takes a mate, especially for reproductive purposes. But I have to imagine it's very different for humans."
"Very different," Gil murmured, mostly as he tried to think of how to retain his dignity and also answer her question honestly.
Like Thena said, she was a grown woman, and she wasn't so naive about mating and its many forms. She knew approximately how it worked. And as embarrassed as he was, he had no desire to lie to her or tell her some bullshit birds and the bees nonsense.
He adjusted himself on the bed, wrapping his arms around her. He could tell she had been asleep in the tub because her skin was cooler to the touch than normal. Sometimes it did make him wonder how she managed to get out of water so silently, though.
"So, the, uh," Gil blushed, grateful for the dark and the angle they were in allowing him to avoid her eyes. "The part of me-"
"The penis?"
"That," he sighed. It was better than 'dick'., he supposed. "It becomes engorged with blood. That's what makes it hard."
"And this happens during arousal," Thena continued. If anything, how straightforward she was did actually help to lessen the embarrassment of things. It did quite the opposite of set the mood, currently.
"Usually," Gil added. "Sometimes it happens with a surplus of testosterone. So, like, when I wake up from sleeping, sometimes..."
Thena nodded, connecting the metaphorical dots. She looked down at him again, "does this happen after every sleep?"
"No, not every sleep." Thank the seven seas for that one. "Just sometimes. Sometimes it just gets stimulated from light touches and it reacts. It's kind of...delicate."
"I see." And she had seen--she did see.
Gil shifted under her, trying to keep his mind out of the gutter and on the task at hand. "When the act of intercourse ends and the male reaches climax, he...ejaculates."
Thena tilted her head a few times, which was actually quite familiar and comforting in the moment. "The white stuff-"
"The white stuff," Gil confirmed, unwilling to let her go further with that statement. "For procreation it's done, um, in the-"
"Birth canal."
"Yep, yeah, yes," he confirmed multiple times, pushing all other thoughts from his head but the words themselves. He looked at her again, still charmed by the faint glow of green standing out in the faint moonlight. He put his hand to her cheek, "anything else, Angelfish?"
"Well..."
Gil's eyes strained in the low light as colour rose in her cheeks. She looked down at his bare chest again, and then the blanket which separated his skin from hers. She was wearing his shirt, at least; that was the rule. If she was wearing her legs, a shirt was required.
"I feel," she started and paused still, shifting her weight on top of him. Her knees squeezed against his ribs faintly.
Gil's heart picked up speed.
"Different."
He swallowed, trying to keep his eyes on hers, and on what she was saying, and not on the beautiful body seated on top of him. He nodded, "o-okay. What feels, uh...different?"
Thena wasn't really that shy when it came to most things. She didn't have the same sense of shame about bodies and their functions that humans did. Seeing her sheepish or embarrassed usually indicated something more personal to her.
Thena gulped as well, holding his eyes as her hips pressed into his, "h-here."
Gil held in a groan as she grinded against him through the blanket. "W-What feels different there, Angelfish?"
She looked away from him again, but her hips didn't stop. She braced herself with her hands again, nails digging into the bed on either side of him. "I don't know. But it feels...urgent."
Gil gulped. He had been thinking about this since that day on the couch. He had thought about it in passing before, of course, but always scolded himself. He had no business impressing anything onto Thena if she didn't bring it up on her own.
He didn't even know she had a...a functioning...well, clearly she did.
Gil let out a moan as Thena continued to move above him, both of them seeking friction against what separated them. He gripped her hips, "Cuddlefish, slow down."
"But," she whimpered, biting her lip but obeying. She looked down at him, "I want-"
Gil gripped her hips in his hands, under the shirt. He gulped as a certain scent reached his nose. He looked up at her, "Thena, do you want this?"
She nodded, diving down to kiss him. She pressed her hips against his again, gasping as the shape of him became more clear through the blanket. "Yes!"
Gil groaned, all but humping her through his blanket like a teenager dry rubbing for the first time. But it felt damn good for something so simple. And everything with Thena felt good.
Thena pulled his shirt off over her head, "my skin burns."
Under any other circumstance, he would be alarmed. But he knew exactly what he meant, this time. "It's okay."
Thena kissed him deeper, her tongue looking for more. Her tongue was a little more pointed and a little longer than his, actually. Now that he could feel it so acutely, that was to say.
Gil sighed as he felt her breasts press against his chest. The more their hips moved, the more ruffled it became. He groaned into her mouth as her breasts met his bare chest.
"Gil," she whimpered at the new sensation. She ran her fingers through his hair, kissing him feverishly. "What is that?"
"Here," he grunted, pulling her other hand off his neck and guiding it to her breast for her. "Touch that."
Thena whined as she did. "W-What-"
"Good?" he whispered in the dark, unable to see anything but the vague shape of her as they moved so closely entwined.
"Gil," she whined louder, moving against him more urgently. "Something--I-I want-"
Gil gripped her buttocks - surprisingly plump and also firm - in his hands, driving them together more firmly.
"Gil!"
Gil groaned as she writhed against him, coming from the sheer friction and stimulation. He wasn't quite there but goddamn did he feel good. He gasped for breath, as did Thena. She almost sounded a little wheezy, but he was pretty sure breathing hard with only her lungs made her miss her gills. "Angelfish?"
"Hm?" she purred, her face pressed into his chest.
"You good?" he whispered, pulling her off of the blanket on top of him and rolling them over. He manoeuvred the blanket around her completely limp weight beside him until she was also tucked in. "Thena?"
"Hm," she responded again, blinking those eyes at him. It was incredible to think that he would be able to tell if she was looking at him or not, even in the darkest dark.
"Angelfish, how do you feel?" he asked softly, looking for any signs of distress, or being overwhelmed, overstimulated. This was just as important a first as any of her other firsts as a human.
Thena shimmied over to him, kissing him languidly under the blanket. She really could purr, and it reverberated through him gently as their lips met. "That was nice."
He looked at her again, "nice?"
"Nice," she conceded, shrugging one of her shoulders. Some of her scales were popping up on her shoulders, and he was delighted to think that her concentration in the midst of things had...slipped.
Her finger traced around his nipple, which she had just discovered did actually have a purpose.
"I could...continue."
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rosescries · 8 months
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Oh stars. Was that an actual ask or are the bots sending them now???
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firelise · 8 days
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im ready to virtually punch one of my coworkers in the face
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agayconcept · 11 days
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.
#oh for fucks sake#if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g#she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up#which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc#and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour#'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest#b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt#c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit#not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT#i gotta get out of here#this woman is so immensely hateful#ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative#ableism#verbal abuse#ask to tag
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teaforce-steph · 11 days
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Shoutout to my fellow aging punk and/or metal millennials still inexplicably typecast as emo in the year 2024. I see you politely nodding when friends and coworkers start talking to you about MCR like you know more than 2 songs via generational osmosis. You're real ones.
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onlyseokmins · 8 months
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Logging in to say that my lemonade has pulp in it and the dude that gave me my food was a real jerk. HOWEVER, the guy who took my order was hella cute 😩
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safyresky · 6 months
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OOH GIRL I HAD A FUN IDEA!
I was thinking about random TSC characters if they had tattoos (which I hope to make my own post about eventually, another one added to the pile) AND THEN I remembered that one Jacqueline Frost exists and I wanna know if she would have any tattoos! What of? Where? Would any of your OTHER oc's have them?
Idk just a thought to roll around in your head. Cause it's certainly been pinballing in mine!
This pin balled in my head ALL NIGHT, I TELL YOU. ALL! NIGHT!
I asked Jacqueline and she had 0 reply so I was left on my OWN here. NONE of the characters were like, sups vocal about this. BUT ANYWAY after a good night's sleep and some pre-bed pin balling, I have a list of likely to get tattoos/want them at the VERY least:
Fino and Fiera deffs would. They probably would get something matchy for funsies at some point, somewhere like. Obscure?? Like their side or like, shoulder or like leg somewhere. Deffs a nondescript one! And probs just before they turn 2000 lol. (tho the image of two rather small 1200 year olds going HI YES 1 MATCHING TATTOO PLEASE is so fucking funny)
Fiera would get more tats than just that for sure, lol.
Blaise would tattoo. does he have any? Not that I'm aware of. But he deffs would
Jacqueline simply has 0 ideas for a funky little tattoo, so she has 0 plans for one/want for one/need for one. Part of me is like, maybe she'd tattoo her scars?? But I think she leaves them as is. She thinks they're neat. They're tinged blue. Nobody ELSE has scars like that (you can imagine how this makes literally every other Frost feel lmao. Except the Twins, they're like "yes girl get it!" Fiera more so than Fino ;) I could MAYBE see her doing one with Dite? But neither of them are like, screaming OMG YES WE HAVE ONE ALREADY EVEN so take that with a smidgen of salt
Winter would not tattoo, but her sisters would! Autumn would get smaller ones but deffs in full colour. Summer is like MY BODY IS A CANVAS LET'S GO! She'd have even MORE colours than Autumn. Spring is a basic bitch and probably has a basic tattoo somewhere like a butterfly or a flower or something. Like, a really stereotypical "I got a tattoo omg!!" kinda thing! I WILL SAY. If she got a phrase in another language, Spring would Spell Check That Shit 100%
If Blossom wasn't a bunny, she'd have tattoos (I don't want to think about the logistics for an anthropomorphic-ish bunny getting a tattoo)
Grand Witches deffs have tattoos. Both of them. What are they? Idk! But they have them!
In terms of other Legates: I think Charlie would get a tattoo >:). Xander is a solid maybe. He could go either way. Day MAYBE and Night DEFFS and his are cool. I bet they're silvery and look like they are made of moonlight (they may very well be!). I already covered Jacquie and Dite (Dite would probably get a tattoo! Doesn't have any that I know of presently but deffs would) Myles I think has a thing about needles so he probably wouldn't get one unless Olivia went with him for emotional support. Olivia would NOT get a tattoo, but probably has the best ideas for them!
Upon further reflection, Winter is not a tattoo person BUT. DEFFS KNOWS HOW TO GIVE THEM. I feel like that's an unexpected hobby she'd have and that she's probably really good at it, too.
I hope this adds a second pinball to your pinballing ;) Sorry there's no concrete like OH YES THIS PERSON WOULD DEFFS GET THIS!! I am very much camp Jacquie and Myles, in that I think tattoos are very cool but A) have no idea what I'd get/want for a tat and B) DO have a thing about needles and would not want to even ATTEMPT to get one, my needle thing is that bad.
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