#i did this on my horror blog so thought why not make one for old cinema

[silentagecinema]

movies + letterboxd reviews

#i did this on my horror blog so thought why not make one for old cinema #old cinema #letterboxd #it happened one night #the godfather #rebel without a cause #west side story #breakfast at tiffany's #gone with the wind #casablanca #the wizard of oz #citizen kane #metropolis #moviesedit #filmedit #cinema

[dear-ao3]

well good day to all of you. i have a tale. a classified, certified absolute god tier disaster of a tale.

at the ripe hour of 6:45 am i was awoken from my slumber by a Noise. what sort of noise? you might be asking.

the sort of noise that usually accompanies my father getting up at the ass crack of dawn and trying not to turn on the tap loudly so that he doesnt wake us up.

for one blissful moment i thought that i was at home, in my bed, and all was right with the world.

and then i remembered that i live approximately four hours away from my parents and all is not right with the world.

so i did what any person would do. waited for the noise to go away.

but it did not.

so i investigated. in all my bleary eyed glory.

and found that my bathroom ceiling light was pissing.

not just a little either.

a severe, unauthorized amount of water was streaming out of my bathroom light fixture.

so after banging on katyas door and finding a bucket and throwing on a sweatshirt i dragged my tired ass down to the front desk and reported the tea as it were.

now one thing you need to know about our building is that it is old. the second thing you need to know about our building is that the maitenance guys (we call them the boys) are absolutely incredible, like tumblr funny guy posts but irl, however they take for fucking ever to respond to any situation.

this time though, nothing was in clear danger of exploding or lighting on fire. so we made some breakfast. drank some coffee. watched the bucket that we had put in the bathroom fill up with water. and we waited.

and waited.

and waited some more.

then i noticed that if you stepped on some of our kitchen floor tiles they started squelching.

so back downstairs i went and explained the tea as it were once again.

and let it be known, that i worked for two very solid and very miserable years as a resident assistant in college. i know all about the woes of people complaining to you to fix things that you cannot fix and you cannot tell them when it will be fixed because the person who needs to do the fixing is otherwise indisposed. so my general attitude towards this whole situation was "hey man you can't make this better for me and im really not pressed about it as long as someone eventually comes and sorts out my pissing ceiling." which is a great attitude to have in this general situation. and especially so because it was about to get even more strange.

at approximately 9:30am our apartment was graced by the presence of one of the boys. the maintenance man. we will call him james.

we have encountered james before. he delt with our fuse box nearly exploding. that situation was not nearly as chill as this one was.

hes also incredible.

so he comes in and he goes "hey how's it going" and i say "well you know things are just leaking!"

he proceeds to tell us that the fridge in the apartment above us had a connection pipe that froze and exploded some how and that managed to leak all into our apartment. not nearly what i was expecting but hey! at least they know what's going on!

we tell him about the squelching tiles and he says that he will bring us a dehumidifier after he turns off the water and deals with the mess of the fridge above us. we say ok great! this is wonderful!

and he goes to leave the apartment. out of habit i had locked the door when he entered. he goes "aw man did you lock me in?"

and i say

"oh sorry!"

and he pauses.

and he looks at our door in disbelief. perhaps even utter horror.

and this, my lovely audience, is what he was looking at:

surprisingly. he was not staring at the entertainment for man and horse plaque that katya and i found while thrifting. nay. he was staring at the unfortunate combination of the printed photo of lando norris and max verstappens face.

now why are lando norris and ax verstappen on the back of my door? you might be asking. you might even be asking who they are.

and if youve been following the lore of this blog, you might recognize them as formula 1 drivers. lando norris of course being a mclaren driver and max verstappen being the reigning world champion of team red bull.

and how did they wind up on my door? well at christmas katya thought it would be funny to put a picture of lando norris on top of our christmas tree and so we got one printed at cvs but when you get wallet sized photos printed they print you four of them so we ended up with four of the same photo of lando. one went on the tree, one went to my sister, one is in our bathroom and now one is on the back of our door.

as for max. well. katyas partner drinks red bull and he was on the red bull box so we cut him out and stuck him there. neither of us are particularly big max fans, it was just funny.

but anyway. i digress.

james is standing there staring at this array of perplexing stuff and goes.

"really? him??"

and i go

"yeah..." not knowing what else to say.

and james turns. and he looks at us. and he goes. and i shit you the absolute fuck not.

"now what's wrong with lewis hamilton???"

(sir lewis hamilton being the mercedes f1 driver, 7 time world champion and absolute icon)

and katya and i go

"oh no no! we love lewis hamilton! we just respect him too much to put him on the door!"

which is true

and james goes "now what did you think of him going to ferrari?"

and i say "i thought it was an interesting choice"

and katya says "i was surprised."

and james says "you and me both" and then he shuts the door behind him.

katya and i look at eachother. and we both fall to the floor in fits of laughter.

let it be known that james has come face to face with a giant tapestry of mr worldwide mr 305 pitbull himself that is in our bathroom, on several occasions, and yet, he chooses to comment on our choice of formula 1 driver that is taped to the back of our door.

im still in a state of disbelief. my ceiling is still pissing. my floor is still squelching. and my maintenance man felt the need to call our my choice of formula 1 driver at 9:30 on a saturday morning.

#not a tag #from saph #help #what #f1 #lando norris #sir lewis hamilton

[dorkfruit]

i put this together using my computer's trackpad so the new year is already starting out . bad .

posts: J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D

template

reflections on the year, my plans for the future, some studies i did, and wips for the next year all down below for those who are interested

tldr; we will be ianthing next year so watch out!!

oh dear lord it's been another year. 2024! can you believe it! i don't talk much on this blog because i have a tendency to talk too much, but it's my little new year's treat, so here we go.

RECAP

i started taking drawing "seriously" in December of 2020, starting to do studies and stuff, and each year since i've ramped it up more and more. this year, i did. a lot of studies. there's probably like at least 200 more in my folder now (not including the 300 days worth of gesture drawings i did), with things like painting, faces, feet, poses, etc. anything i was struggling with, i went right into studying it. my art has been mediocre for a pretty long time now, and it's only the past few months where i feel i'm starting to get the hang of it, which is exciting!

more importantly, i started posting a lot more on this blog. i really like documenting my progress, looking on where i was before and seeing how i've improved. everytime i draw some fanart, im like, oooghh i can't wait to show my (: followers (: !! lots of locked tomb art of course. i've been trying to nail the energy of the different characters, which is why i enjoy books so much, because you get a lot of creative control. drawing ianthe is my fav of course, cause she's my lil nasty, but also i enjoyed doing designs for characters i hadnt thought about before, like judith.

in addition to the locked tomb, we had some new fandoms that got brief moments in between iantheposting: Fear and Hunger, Postal, Faith The Unholy Trinity, and a couple of old ones too, like We Have Always Lived In The Castle and The Merciless.

i posted about 115 times this year, although most of those are shitposts LOL i love posting stuff on my blog and showing people my stuff <3

THE FUTURE

my plans? do more ianthe art, of course. ill be working on more studies, probably going to work on developing a style, and figuring out how to paint. i'd like to do more actually finished pieces, but let's be honest, it'll still be mostly shitpost doodles. i'd like to do more weird stuff. i've been messing around with some gore and NSFW near the end of the year, and it's fun to draw for me. i like idk art that evokes some type of emotion, especially discomfort, and so i find that type of art fun to do, so if you don't enjoy what i've done thus far in that direction, perhaps this isn't the blog for you. i really like horror media, and so i want to do some stuff like that too.

for specifics, i like western type art, a comic book-esque style i'd like to aim for. but i'd like it to be a little more. weird with it. i find comic books often draw all the characters the same, and make all the characters traditionally attractive, and that's boring to me so i'll have to work on finding a way to keep things weird, while also appealing in a graphic sense. the worst thing my art could be is bland and forgettable.

locked tomb wise... more tridentarii art. need to be really weird with it. i have lots of wips planned, like i have a whole page worth of just thumbnails, so i wanna get some of those done. also i had a few animatics i wanted to do. mostly stupid shit, once i learn how to do animatics, then we'll do actual serious ones. id also like to do more comics. i have some comics storyboarded out with my girlies, i like telling a story so, need practice on that. id also like to develop a way to consistently draw them, for convenience sakes, so i'm not fighting for my life every single time i draw these characters. oh and i wanna do some outfit stuff. i draw them in like. generic clothes everytime but i'd like to come up with a few actual outfit designs, that i can just reference back to. and, of course, more shitposts. lots of stupid shit in 2024 for sure. there was something else i wanted to say here but i can't remember.

ART

oki enough rambling, here's some IMAGES for yall to look at i know everyone loves to look at images.

began this year by warming up with gesture sketches (almost) every day. i started with 20 poses (30 seconds each), and then in november i was like. ugh my hands suck i need to get better at hands, so i switched to doing 10 hand sketches (60 seconds each). i want my art to be very energetic so it's important that i do these !!

anatomy studies of extremities because i'm flopping at those -_- ive gotten better with hands but they're still a struggle. i hate feet tho still

need to get my painting game up. i joined an art forum to get advice, and the biggest suggestion i got was working on my values, so i did various value studies. also lots of faces because my faces flop !!

random doodles to work on drawing from imagination. on my "sketchbook" pages, as i like to call them, i'm usually pretty loose and messy, since the point is just to be drawing so often these will suck, but that's fine. i don't think very much when i draw faces on here either so they end up being in my Instinctive Style i suppose you could say

ianthe wip. i was planning to do a few drawings based on the idea of her having Missing Arm nightmares, but the lineart was intimidating to me so i haven't worked on this one more yet /: also there was going to be a toontown gay homosexual toxic yuri comic that i was gonna put here with it but the page is way too long so umm guess that'll have to wait.

...

anyways. thank you for reading if you got to the bottom of this! i appreciate all the support that i've been getting lately (extra big kissies for the same like 5 people who always reblog my posts youre the best). and we will be ianthing soo hard in 2024 so watch out!!

#and god bless. there is not a single background in any of these images. sketch on a white bg foreverz!! #my art #art meme #ianthe tridentarius #really got to tag her here bc . all this art is of her LOL

[lightsoutbfb]

LIGHTS OUT!

hey everyone! if you're seeing this, then you're probably wondering: what IS Lights Out?

Well, I'm here to answer those questions.

Lights Out is an au of bfb/bfdi/tpot/(whatever other acronyms ya want for the show!). More specifically, of bfb, starting around the time of bfb 3-10.

Lights Out is a horror au that centers around Liy snapping after her elimination, escaping the EXIT, and going totally apeshit.

Lights Out was originally an au that I created back in 2019, and worked on with my old friend for a bit. But we never got anywhere, and he's not really my friend anymore, so I figured I'd just do it myself (with some help from a new friend! Sorry old friend. I won't post your name here in case anyone wants to hate on you for...whatever reasons. People are strange.)

Lights Out is a horror au, and features blood and gore, violence, death, trauma, hallucinations, weapons such as knives, baseball bats, and other creative things she finds ways to use. (And maybe a gun? I dunno.) and psychological horror. If you're a little kid, or you're sensitive to these topics, I don't recommend reading it.

That being said, if you're continuing, you prolly like this kinda stuff. So let's move on!

WHAT IS LIGHTS OUT?

I plan on making it a fic, but I'd also love to make it into a comic someday. That being said, I don't have the time or art skills to do that right now, or I'd be doing it right away.

WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH THE IDEA?

Well, I've had this headcanon for Liy for a while, and me and that friend were talking, and we were jokin around and one of us said something or other about this being a good idea for an au. So, voila! Boom!

WHY LIY?

I...dunno. I mean, she's portrayed as "snapping" in a sense during her actual elimination in bfb, so I guess I just wanted to take it up a notch.

IS THIS SERIOUS?/HOW DEDICATED ARE YOU?/DO YOU NEED HELP?/IS THIS PAID?/ETC.

This is just for fun! I always wanted to make it but I kinda forgot about it. I figured it might be fun to revamp it here, especially with a bigger audience than on the other site i was publishing it on. It's not paid, I might not get around to doing it for a long time, and I don't really need anymore help than I'm already getting!

DOES MY FAV DIE?

Probably. I mean, unless your fav is Liy then...pretty good chance of it. I won't spoil it, though!

63 to go...

WHERE CAN I READ IT?

Probably here (on Tumblr) or on AO3. I'm undecided.

WHEN WILL YOU START?/WHEN WILL IT BE UPDATED?

I don't know. Could be any time from within a few days to a few months. I'm a tad busy with stuff right now, so I'll get to it eventually.

WILL THE POTENTIAL COMIC OR COMICS HAVE GRAPHIC VIOLENCE/BLOOD/GORE? WILL THE FIC HAVE THIS?

YES. LIGHTS OUT IS A HORROR/PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR AU AND WILL HAVE GRAPHIC/POTENTIALLY DETAILED DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE, BLOOD AND GORE, CHARACTER DEATHS, MURDER, KILLING, VIOLENT/INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, AND PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO HALLUCINATIONS, TRAUMA, PANIC ATTACKS, VIOLENT IMPULSES, BREAKDOWNS, PARANOIA, SUICIDAL/HOMICIDAL/BOTH THOUGHTS, AND DELUSIONS.

IF ANY OF THESE MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, UPSET YOU, OR COULD TRIGGER PTSD, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE.

With that out of the way, here we go!

Also, yes, I moved blogs. This is its own main now! Yippee ☆

#lights out au #liy bfb #osc #bfb #lights out bfb #bfb au #bfdi #tpot

[hikari-drkspc]

❅ “Weakness” ❅

character: yandere! saionji ukyo [dr. stone]

warning: yandere, non consensual touching + (almost) kiss (not by ukyo) ; MINOR/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO/PINNED POST TO INTERACT

words: 1k

a/n: this is a repost from my main blog (@/hikari-writes) so yes this writing is old + bad, i just moved them here w/o editing bc im lazy and wants to keep reminding myself how bad my writing used to be <3 this was set before Tsukasa empire was defeated !!

Ukyo stands in front of Hyoga, his face showing his nervousness and small beads of sweats could be seen trickling down his face.

“Why did you call me out here?”

Ukyo asks, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. He didn’t want to let Hyoga knew he’s anxious that they are meeting alone and a bit farther than their headquarters. If, in the worst case scenario, he was attacked, it’d be hard to escape. Although he don’t find any reason why Hyoga would attack him now.

“…Nothing much.”

Hyoga replies curtly and as soon as he did, Ukyo’s ears caught a series of footsteps heading towards them.

The footsteps he knows all too well.

Even though his ears could catch on sounds from a pretty far distance, he knows that her way of walking has always been so insanely fast. So although he knew beforehand that she’s coming, he still couldn’t take any action before she reached their place.

“Hey, Hyoga-san….why did you call me out here?”

Y/N finally reaches their place, her face showing pure confusion as she saw Ukyo and Hyoga facing each other.

“Y/N….”

Ukyo mumbles her name, his face turns pale all of the sudden. He doesn’t seem to be getting any good vibes from this situation. Out of all people, Hyoga called out Y/N, Ukyo’s no. 1 weakness, his girlfriend, here at this quiet place. It seems like Hyoga planned it so that she came right when Ukyo and Hyoga’s facing each other.

“Ukyo.”

Hyoga ignores Y/N’s presence and continue facing Ukyo.

“I’d like for you to join force with me to end Tsukasa’s life.”

Ukyo and Y/N went dead silent at that one sentence. For the first time ever, Ukyo couldn’t believe his own ears. Y/N’s legs started trembling at Hyoga’s sudden proposal. Did those words just came out of him? Even though Tsukasa trusted him, he wishes to kill him?

Ukyo was quick to regain his composure. He then looks straight at Hyoga’s face.

“And if I don’t want to?”

Hyoga stays silent at Ukyo’s reply. He then takes off his mask and in a blink of an eye, grabs Y/N’s arm and pull her face closer to him.

Y/N could barely understand the situation that flashes right before her eyes and her reflexes are too slow compared to Hyoga for her to even turn her face or push Hyoga away. But she does understand one thing. The sight of Hyoga’s face nearing hers makes her eyes widen in horror. Just the thought of other people aside Ukyo having their lips on hers is just… unbearable.

Just as their lips about to touch, Y/N was snatched away from Hyoga’s grip and a knife was pointed at his throat.

“Well, well…so even the peace-loving Ukyo can point a knife at someone’s throat when his Y/N is about to fall on other’s hands, huh?”

Ukyo hold Y/N tightly with one hand and his other hand kept the knife close to Hyoga’s throat. His face isn’t showing his usual calm exterior. Instead, he was like a completely different person. His face turns gloomy and his eyes are looking at Hyoga dangerously.

“I thought you knew that you can’t object an offer from me. Oh well, now the deal has been made. There’s no going back.”

Hyoga calmly said as he pulls up his mask back and walks away, leaving the two of them alone.

Y/N is still clinging to Ukyo tightly, her whole body trembling. Ukyo who finally regains back his composure, try to reassure Y/N by embracing her small body. It’s almost as if he’s doing it to reassure himself. As if she could disappear at any moment and he’s clinging to her so desperately.

“Ukyo….I’m okay now.”

Y/N softly whispers at him. Ukyo reluctantly lets her go, and as soon as he did, her lips met his and they both melt into a sweet, loving kiss.

~*~

“I could barely understand what happened just now…Are you going to be okay, Ukyo?”

While they walk back to the headquarters, holding hands, Y/N asks a question that’s been on her mind since just now.

“….I’ll be fine. Completely fine. So don’t worry. What you should be worrying about is yourself. His target is you if he found anything suspicious at me. And that’s the only thing I don’t want to happen.”

Ukyo strokes Y/N’s head reassuringly and give a peck on her forehead.

“I really was afraid just now, you know? I wouldn’t have known what to do if he had kissed me.”

As soon as she mentions that, Ukyo’s face turns gloomier and his glares turns so scary it could kill a newborn fawn.

“If that’s the case, I’ll just kiss you two, no, three times than he did.”

Y/N’s ears turn red at his exclamation and she just smiles lovingly at him.

“I would love that.”

“For tonight, Y/N, sleep with me. I don’t want Hyoga to attack you while you’re alone. Stay by my side.”

Ukyo turns to her and said this seriously. Y/N quietly nod at him and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Even if you don’t ask for it, I’ll always stay by your side forever and ever.”

Ukyo’s heart warms up at her loving confession and squeezes her hand.

“It’s okay…” He thought to himself. “Tomorrow’s gonna be the day this empire meets its downfall. Senku’s plan gonna work. Until then, I will protect Y/N even if I have to dirty my own hand. I may be a coward, but for her, I will…”

“Ukyo? What’s wrong?”

Y/N peers at Ukyo who was silent for a moment, worried of his sudden silence. He also seems to be glaring…which she just shrugs it off as her imagination.

Ukyo snaps out of his train of thoughts and stare a while at Y/N’s face before softening his expression and genuinely smile at her.

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking of how much I love you .”

He says that so smoothly, making Y/N blush a bit.

“That’s right… I love you so much, I’m willing to change myself.”

Ukyo thought that as his smile turns into a cold one.

#tw: yandere #dr stone x reader #ukyo saionji #dr stone ukyo saionji #dr stone ukyo #dr stone ukyo x reader #dr stone yandere #dr stone yandere ukyo x reader

[iheartgod175]

Some Thoughts!

Man, I haven’t done a post like this in a while! But I figured I might as well before I work on one of my numerous WIPs XD

—So, I’ve been back on a Zula Patrol kick like you wouldn’t believe. Though that should be obvious with all the memes I’ve been making, haha! I promise this won’t become a Zula Patrol only blog, haha!

—I’ll be working on building my graphic design/editing skills so I can properly redesign my blogs ^^ You can expect a few graphics throughout the month! :)

—Chapter 4 of The Zula Patrol: Dreamscape Crusade Remastered is also coming along pretty nicely. I’ve been enjoying adding the layers of mystery and horror to the world that Multo ends up in. Oh, and a couple of new characters are making their appearance, too. And that’s all I’m going to say about the subject!

—I’ve also been steadily working on Love Language for the last couple of months. I thought FOR SURE that I’d be posting its first chapter by the end of the month, but life happened—not to mention that I keep coming up with MORE headcanons for Multo and Zeeter that I just have to write down and put in the story. XD Also, the story’s grown to the point where I had to break it up into FIVE chapters, now, with the fifth being the actual conclusion. This story’s been so fun to work on, and I hope you’ll all enjoy it when I finally publish it.

—That being said, I did have a few insecurities regarding the writing of Love Language. I wondered if anybody would actually read this story since 1. ZP isn’t a very well-known cartoon, and 2. Even for rarepair standards, Multo/Zeeter sure seems like it came out of left field. And for about a few weeks, I did leave it alone, out of worry that nobody would read it. But then I came across posts in my feed that said that it’s important to write the stories that you’d like to read, even if they don’t get any readership, because telling your story is what matters. I’ve dealt with this a lot since writing all of my stories, namely my Zula Patrol series. And while I struggle with it occasionally, I’m not going to let that whole “nobody will probably read this” mentality stop me from writing about these goofy aliens, and my favorite opposites-attract ship, of which I’m the sole captain.

—While I’ve been working on Blazin’ Trails content off and on, I’m having a deuce of a time trying to work on the final chapter of the original BT. I’ll literally sit down and open the document, looking for something to leap out at me and inspire me to work…but nothing’s working. And I really want to get things started with Blazin’ Trails Redux as well…*sigh*

—As for Super Why stuff, I’m looking forward to seeing the new shorts that are debuting next month! I got to see the first short, and it’s adorable. And I also can’t wait to see more of Power Paige in action! I just really hope that Woofster and Alpha Pig aren’t written out of the show :(

—Speaking of PBS Kids stuff…I kinda sorta got back into both WordGirl and Arthur. GOD, I feel old! And now, I’m half-tempted to have WG guest star in SRBA like Santiago will. The SRBA ‘verse? More like Into the Reader-verse, LOL XD

—Sodor Magic Crusaders MAY be getting an update in the near future. I thought about working on it for the first time in months, and I remembered that I only have a few episodes left until I can get to write the second season.

—Slowly but surely getting back into Honkai Impact 3rd. I still haven’t gotten a chance to watch the part 2 trailer, but it looks like it’s gonna be interesting!

—One thing’s for sure. Power Paige will definitely appear in the SRBA ‘verse. I just have to figure out what her backstory would be as well as her powers and what kind of fighting style she’d have. I know for sure it won’t be a sword—we already have four sword fighters in SRBA thus far (Super Why, Presto, Muse and Jackson).

—In Super Why news, I HAVE been working on the fifth chapter bit by bit, and I’d like to say that it’s about 65% finished. I don’t think it’ll be quite as long as the last update, but I don’t want to speak too soon ^^;

—I haven’t drawn anime in ages, not since I first started uploading on DeviantArt. And I admit, the pic that I’m going to post of Usagi isn’t the best..but you know what? Screw it! The only way I can improve is to practice, even if it’s wonky or incorrect! ^^

#hanna-barbera #the zula patrol #super why #sailor moon #pbs kids #ramblings

[teaberrii]

Chapter 10: Why I Like You (My Worst Enemy is a Cat)

Human by day. Cat by night. That’s how Scaramouche lived until you came back into his life.

Scaramouche/You

Notes: Cross-posted on Ao3. If you want me to add you to the tag list, visit the tag list post for the blog.

The master list for the other chapters is at the end of chapter one.

You immediately sit up, unknowingly taking the blanket with you. Scaramouche grabs it to prevent you from exposing his lower half. When he sits up beside you, you instinctively back against the wall.

Speechless is an understatement. Your mind starts racing with all sorts of possibilities… from the ridiculous to the weird. None of which you want to entertain. But the first question you want to know is why he’s naked and beside you, and… then, it hits you. Where is Prince?

As if reading your mind, Scaramouche says, “I am Prince.”

And you thought your assumptions of him being a closet pervert or secretly a serial killer was farfetched. But even those are more plausible than what he just told you. You grab your pillow as if it'll defend you from anything. "What are you doing in my house and"—you look at the blanket covering his lower half—"Why the hell are you naked?"

How in the world is he going to explain this to you? Great. Is this the end? Scaramouche looks at you seriously. "I know it's hard to believe, and it sounds ridiculous"—he moves slightly closer to you, but you raise the pillow, and he instantly backs off—"I'm telling the truth. I wouldn't lie to you."

His earnest reply has you lower your guard but not enough to let go of your cushy weapon. "...Do you think we're in a Disney movie? How the heck did you get in?"

"You let me in."

You let Prince in. All of your windows and doors are locked from the inside. You keep thinking of any possible scenario that Scaramouche could've gotten into your apartment. But none of them make any logical sense, which leaves room to explore the weird and ridiculous possibilities... including Scaramouche turning into a cat.

"If you're telling the truth, do you remember what he did for me? What happened… in my house?"

“One of our old friends confessed to you,” Scaramouche begins calmly. Your eyes widen as he details what happened that night. Oh, my God. No. Wait. He must’ve been close by. “I asked you about that photo you had of us… the one where you beat me at the relay.” Your heart stops. “Before we started dating, you asked if you were a backup for my ex.” This sounds like something out of a horror movie. “...Should I go on?”

The horrified look on your face makes his palms sweat. Great. Now, he’s going to be known as Stalkermouche instead.

“...Then, can you change into him right now?”

“I can’t right now, but I’ll show you tonight.”

You cautiously look at him up and down. "Have you been leaving through the bathroom windows every night then?"

“...Yeah. I always leave in the middle of the night.”

“Then what happened this time? Do you want to give me a heart attack?”

Scaramouche reaches toward you. You don't reject, but the frown on your face makes him drop his hand. "I… I don't know. Really. I changed back earlier than I expected." Even though your blinds are closed, you know it's still dark outside. "I'm sorry. I know I should've told you earlier. I didn't mean to scare you."

You feel his sincerity which makes you lower the pillow. But then, you look at him skeptically. “And when did you plan on telling me?”

Scaramouche awkwardly scratches his head. “I don’t know,” he says honestly. “I was just waiting for the right time… but”—he sighs—“I know I should’ve told you earlier… or show you, I suppose.”

Scaramouche felt like his body was on fire. His breathing became ragged. His knees were starting to give, and he had to find something to support himself before his body collapsed onto the floor.

His heart was beating faster and faster. Then, it beat so loud that it made his head hurt. Scaramouche closed his eyes and took deep breaths, praying that this strange pain would pass. But it didn’t. Instead, it took over his consciousness.

When Scaramouche finally opened his eyes again, his head was pounding. As he slowly got to his feet, it took him a moment to realize that everything seemed strangely bigger.

Hold up. He took a step forward… and another one… why did it seem like he was walking on all fours? He lifted his hand but found a paw. Then, Scaramouche immediately ran to his room and saw himself as a black cat.

What. Just. Happened.

The first thing he did was slap himself. This had to be some crazy fever dream. But, he had to admit that he looked adorable. Scaramouche blinked once… twice… Why was nothing happening? Oh, my God. The longer he waited, the deeper the realization sank. He had mysteriously transformed into a cat.

Inside he was screaming. But all that came out was a helpless meow.

You have so many questions that you don't know where to start. Eventually, you settle for, “...This just started randomly?"

“It started not long after I met you.”

“Me? You’re kidding, right?”

He frowns. “Why would I lie?”

“So… you just endured it until now?”

“I couldn’t stop it. If I could, I would’ve.”

“You never figured out the reason why?” 

Scaramouche moves closer to you, and you shrink back against the wall. “As I said, you were the only difference in my life.”

You look away. “...Why are you making it seem like I cursed you or something?”

“You’re overthinking.” Are you? Are you really? “I doubt you’re capable of cursing people.” Scaramouche looks at you skeptically. “...Right?”

You give him a deadpan look. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you that I come from a line of witches that curse people into cats.”

“Well, as long as I’m special, I don’t mind.” You smack his leg. “Would’ve been better without the pain, though.” You frown. “But, now that I think about it, there’s something else.” Uh oh. Does it also have something to do with you? “I changed back earlier than expected… This is the first time this has happened.” A pause. “Not long after we got together.” Then, Scaramouche leans closer to you. He puts one hand on the wall beside your head. “Are you sure you have nothing to do with it?”

“I’m sure,” you say flatly.

Scaramouche kisses your head. “...I was just teasing.”

Is it just you, or can you feel his body heat? “So, about your clothes… Do you need me to get them for you?”

You can hear your heart thumping in the silence as you stare at each other. “...Am I forgiven?”

Suddenly, Scaramouche’s lying on his back with you straddling him. His eyes widen as you say, “No.”

While he sounded like a stalker, a serial killer, it's now you who looks like you're going to suffocate him with the pillow in your hands. "Should I be fighting for my life right now?"

You put the longer side of the pillow down on his stomach and put your elbows on the pillow. “How will you make it up to me?”

Scaramouche’s gaze darkens. “I thought you were the one who did this to me, hm?”

“Innocent ‘til proven guilty.”

Scaramouche instantly sits up and captures your mouth in a hot kiss. You immediately welcome him into the warmth of your mouth. Your legs move on either side of him as he kisses you harder and deeper while his body pushes the pillow into you. When your back gently hits the wall, Scaramouche grabs the pillow and throws it aside. Your bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces. No one can make you feel like he does… the adrenaline rush from something unexpected into a warm, safe hug on a winter day.

When he breaks away, your bodies rise and fall in sync. Your foreheads are pressed against each other; the sound of your heart pounding fills the silence. He kisses you, slow and sensual as if giving you time to catch your breath. Then, when his lips leave yours again, he says, "...Now is the time to stop if you want me to."

If you weren't blushing before, you are now. You feel the heat creep all the way to your ears. His eyes tell you everything you need to know. He wants you, and he's doing everything in his power to control his desire. You kiss him, but you break it before he can deepen it and take off your night dress.

Scaramouche swallows thickly. He doesn't want to stare, but he can't help his gaze from wandering down your body. But his gaze doesn't linger long before it returns to your eyes. His ears turn red just as you tease him with your soft-lipped kisses. Finally, you take his hand and let it wander up the curve of your waist to your chest. His hand is slightly shaking, and if you weren't looking at his eyes, you wouldn't be sure if it's out of embarrassment or if he's holding back. But you know he's holding back, and your body heats up at the possibilities.

Your forehead is against his as you say breathlessly, "I want all of you." His hand cups your breast, and his gentle but hungry touch makes you arch your body forward. When his mouth finds yours, a moan reverberates from your throat. His touches get eager… faster… until with every breath you take comes a moan that gets louder… and louder…

Suddenly, a loud ring echoes in your room. At first, both of you ignore it. But, just before Scaramouche’s mouth replaces his hand, the ringing comes again.

As if it dawns on both of you simultaneously, you pull away from each other.

"Why are you nervous? It's not like you haven't met them before." You and Scaramouche were sitting on his couch. Your legs were draped over his, and your elbow was on the back of the sofa. You held his hand. "They'll love you. Don't worry."

Scaramouche held your hand tightly. “Isn’t that what all girlfriends say before their boyfriend meets their parents?”

You kissed his cheek. “They remember you… as the person I sent to the hospital.”

“Sounds like the start to a great love story.”

Unbeknownst to you and Scaramouche, Aether and Lumine are already in the lobby. You hear someone buzz for your apartment number, and you and Scaramouche turn to each other with wide eyes. In an instant, you’re already putting on your clothes. When your phone rings again, you quickly pick it up.

“Hey, we’re here! Are you home?”

What. What. You'd never been so frantic to hear your sister's voice. "Sorry, I—uh"—you look at Scaramouche, who has a towel around his waist and turning a little pale—"I was caught up with something."

“Hey!” This time, it’s Aether. “Are you going to let us in?”

“...Is mom and dad with you?”

“They’re coming in like… thirty minutes?”

Okay. Maybe this won't be as bad… maybe. "I'll call you back. Just give me a minute." Scaramouche stands, and you put your hands on his shoulders. "Aether and Lumine are downstairs. My parents are coming later."

“...You sound like you have a plan.”

You take a small breath. “...It’s worth a shot.” Then, you take out your phone and text your parents.

You arrive at the lobby and greet your siblings. “Hey, what’s going on?” Aether asks.

Before Lumine can ask a follow-up question, you wrap an arm on their shoulders. “We’re going shopping… for a little bit.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Mom and dad will be here soon," Lumine says.

“I know,” you mutter. “That’s why we have to go. Now.”

Back in your apartment, Duke is sitting on top of the cat tree, watching Scaramouche walk towards your bathroom. But, before he enters, Scaramouche gives Duke a deadpan look. "I never thought I wish I was in your shoes right now." Duke meows and Scaramouche sighs as he goes to take a shower.

You've just explained your sticky situation on the way to the nearest clothing store. You're not surprised by the confused looks on your siblings' faces. They knew you were dating Scaramouche; you told them a few days ago over video chat, and Lumine practically squealed. Aether had slow-clapped as if knowing it was inevitable.

But, they never expected you to say that Scaramouche is naked in your apartment without clothes on the day he's officially meeting your family. Of course, you didn't put it exactly like that. But, the point got across. And, of course, you left out the cat bits. Things are crazy enough already. But, you know, that raises another very suspicious question… a question that none of your siblings ask… thank goodness.

Being the good brother, Aether helps you pick out clothes that he thinks would make a good impression. Once you're back in the car, your look at your watch. Fifteen minutes. At least, that's what you thought… until your phone rings.

“We’re here!”

Your face pales. “What? I… I thought I said to come later.”

“We were already in the area,” your father says. “You didn’t see your mother’s text?”

You look at your siblings, whose worried expression probably mimics yours. "...I didn't."

“Oh, well, we’re already here. We have the spare key. Should we—”

"Wait, wait!" From the looks on your siblings' faces, they also do not like where this is going. You quickly start the car. "My apartment's a mess right now with all the cat stuff. So, please just wait until I get back, okay?"

Lumine takes the phone from you, and you quickly drive back as she keeps your parents on the line, ensuring they stay in the lobby. As soon as you return, you dash for your apartment as your siblings keep your parents as far back as possible.

You open the door, and Scaramouche, sitting on the edge of your bed with Duke on his lap, immediately looks up. You swing the door shut and quickly give him the bag of clothes while stopping him from leaving your room.

"My parents are here," you whisper. Scaramouche's eyes widen. As the front door opens again, you quickly close your bedroom door.

As your parents look around your apartment, you give your siblings a subtle nod. “Well, it’s not as messy as you said it would be,” your mother says. “It’s quite clean.”

Now that she mentioned it, it is much cleaner than you remember. Did Scaramouche clean up while you were gone?

When you get back with drinks, your father looks at the cat tree and says, "So… where is your little rascal?"

Then, your bedroom door opens.

“Right here.”

With Duke in his arms, Scaramouche comes out dressed in a dark striped, long-sleeved shirt, light gray pants, and a black belt. “Oh! You were already here?” your mother asks. She turns to you. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

You and Scaramouche glance at each other. “We wanted to clean up the place before you got here,” Scaramouche says.

"...Don't tell me you two are living together already? Of course, you are adults, but isn't that a little fast?"

"It's not like that." First, you and Scaramouche look at each other at the same time. Then, you say, "...I think both of us still want to live separately for now."

Scaramouche nods. If your parents are suspicious of him staying the night, they don't ask. Instead, your father gestures for him to sit on the couch. Duke jumps from Scaramouche's arms and into his cat tree. You and Scaramouche sit next to each other. You glance at him and see a calm and collected look.

“I know both of you work at the same company,” your father says. “I guess that’s how you got reacquainted?”

“Sounds like something out of a drama,” Aether says.

You give him a deadpan look, and your brother looks away. “It was quite a surprise,” Scaramouche answers.

“...Her last boyfriend proposed to her, but she declined,” your mother says. “Now, don’t get me wrong… I don’t want to rush you. But, I do want to know your intentions with each other.”

This takes you a little by surprise. "We—" You and Scaramouche glance at each other. Then, he says, "...I was young back then and didn't know how to express how I felt." Then, with an earnest look, "But I'm serious about this."

Scaramouche's heart fluttered when he saw you from afar. It's been so long, but his heart never forgot. He never imagined your paths would cross again after you went abroad. He thought that was it. The end of a romance before it even began. But, here you were. Back in the city where you met.  Why were you back? Do you remember him? He hoped you did… because he definitely remembered you. And this time, he wasn't going to let you go.

“I was never fooling around," Scaramouche continues.

“...And what do you like about her? It’s been so long.”

You and Scaramouche look at each other again. There's a short silence. But then he says, "On the surface, she only seems to care about her own interests. But, she's actually a softhearted person."

After Scaramouche wrapped his jacket around your waist, you looked at him. “Well, you stopped crying.”

Scaramouche frowned. “It took you that long to realize?”

“Well, how am I supposed to know? You kept walking away from me.”

“Why are you here, anyway? To rub in my face that you beat me?”

You crossed your arms. “...If I wanted to do that, I would’ve done so by now.” Scaramouche eyed you skeptically. "I'm here because you were crying, idiot."

Scaramouche slightly smiles. "She's proud of her accomplishments and doesn't let anyone say she doesn't deserve what she earned."

Scaramouche was about to enter the classroom when he heard your voice and two other classmates. He quietly slid the door ajar and saw you at the chalkboard with a boy and a girl.

“You cheated, didn’t you?” the boy asked.

“...Excuse me?”

“You don’t deserve to be class president.”

You scoffed. “If you say I cheated, show me the evidence.”

The boy points to his girlfriend. “Everyone knew that she was going to win. So, how did a nerd like you get elected?”

You put your hand on top of a pile of books at the front desk. "Fine. She wants to be class president? Care to put in the responsibility that comes with that title? You can start tomorrow, where you'll be leading the meeting to brainstorm ideas for our next school event." The girl looked away. "Or, maybe you'd like to skip class like you always do."

“You—”

Scaramouche slid the door open, and the boy instantly backed off. “Sounds like a party in here. What am I missing?”

“She doesn’t like being told she can’t do something,” Scaramouche continues. “...She’ll never admit it, but she always figures it out.”

“You never baked in your life, haven’t you?”

You stiffened and looked at your boyfriend, who was smiling mischievously at you. “I have.”

“Oh, really? Because it seemed like you thought ‘proof’ in this context meant something else entirely.”

“I know what it means.”

Scaramouche hugged you from behind. "Okay. Tell me what it means, and I'll give you a kiss if you're right."

“I can get kisses from Duke instead.”

Scaramouche let you go and rolled up his sleeves. "Why don't you sit with him, and I'll bake something for you instead?"

You took the bowl from him. “I bet I can make something better than you.”

“Oh, really? Wanna bet? Just so you know, I learned from the best.”

“...Well, I also have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

Scaramouche suddenly kissed your lips. “Stop lying.”

“I’m not!"

Scaramouche glances at you. "She's terrible at taking care of herself."

When Scaramouche walked by your office, your head was in your hands. But your eyes remained glued to your computer screen. He knew you were focusing on finishing that report. He also knew it was driving you crazy. When he returned with hot tea, your head was buried in your arms on your table. Scaramouche quietly put the cup down, took your jacket off the hanger, and gently draped it around you. Then, he saved your work, turned off the light, and sighed softly.

Scaramouche looks at your mother. "You asked me what I like about her." Then, with a slight smile, he says, "I like her because of how special she is."

The silence that follows is broken by Lumine hitting her brother’s leg. “Ow, stop hitting me!” When you look over, even your sister is blushing.

Your mother looks at you. “...And what about you?”

You take a small breath and press your lips together. Then, you say, “...When I’m with him, I can be myself. He’s always there… celebrating with me through the good times and cheering me up with I’m sad.”

You were walking home from school when you felt someone grab your hat from behind. You were not in a good mood from your feedback on your essay today, and you didn't need someone to add to your bad day.

Just as you spun around, you saw Scaramouche, who put on your hat. “I have the exact same hat. So… you have good taste.”

You angrily walked up to him and tried to grab your hat back. But, he dodged your attempts with ease. “Give it back, you jerk.”

Upon hearing how annoyed you looked and sounded, he gave it back. “...Why the long face?”

You put on your hat and walked away, but not without Scaramouche walking a few steps behind. When you turned the corner, you thought he wouldn't be following you anymore as his house was in the other direction. But you were wrong.

You spun around. “Why are you following me?”

Scaramouche stopped. “...Thought you could use some company.”

You looked away. “Well, I don’t.”

Then, Scaramouche took something out of his bag. You weren't sure what it was until he walked up to you. He grabbed your wrist and placed a plushie of your favourite game character in your hand.

"Your birthday was yesterday. I wanted to give this to you. But… you kept avoiding me. Probably because our marks were released." Yeah. And he had beaten you again. That, plus the essay you got back today, just dampened your mood. Scaramouche took the plushie and lifted it to his face when you said nothing. First, he said your name. Then, in an exaggerated and high-pitched voice, he said, "Don't be sad. Or, you'll make me sad."

You forced back a smile. "He does not sound like that!”

Scaramouche peeked out from behind. "Well, to me, he does."

“You’re ruining his charisma.”

Scaramouche gave the toy a deadpan look. “Wow. I never knew a toy could have charisma.”

You took the plushie from him. “...Thanks.”

“You could at least smile.”

"Now, I don't want to."

“Why are you so stubborn?” he asks.

“Am not.”

“Am too.”

Scaramouche poked your cheek. “Well, that didn’t take long.”

You smiled and didn’t even know it.

“He was the one I competed with the most," you continue. "But, I never worried that he would hurt me. Even now.”

You were just about to reach the workplace lounge when you heard Scaramouche and a co-worker talking.

The co-worker said your name and then, "You two are dating?"

"Is our personal business any of yours?"

You peeked behind the corner just in time to see your co-worker shrug. "It's a good opportunity, don't you think? Someone's probably getting a promotion at the end of the year... you could weed her out now."

Scaramouche put his cup down and glared at him. "Are you fucking serious?"

"It's cutthroat out here. I'm only trying to—"

"Maybe that's why you've never got a promotion in the last ten years you were here." Scaramouche scoffed. "Stop gossiping about others and focus on yourself, hm?" Scaramouche picked up his cup and walked past him. Then, he turned around. "By the way... if anyone deserves that promotion, it's her."

“...He has a hard time expressing his feelings," you continue. "But, I can feel his sincerity through his actions." You slightly smile. "He makes me want to become better." You and Scaramouche look at each other. "We're serious."

“I think I hear something,” Aether says. “Is that… Is that wedding bells I hear?” Lumine slaps your brother’s arm. “What? I bet you hear it too!”

“Yeah, after he gets a ring.”

Your mother takes a breath and gives you and Scaramouche a smile. “Perhaps it's fate that you two met again.”

You groan. “Oh, mom, not this talk.”

“I think so, too.”

You give Scaramouche an incredulous look. “Not you, too.”

“Why not?” Then, he quickly pecks your cheek, and Lumine almost squeals.

Duke jumps from his cat tree into your father’s arms. Your father gently pets the cat and says, “You’re in good hands.” Duke meows happily at him.

◆◆◆

That night, you're reading a book on the couch while Scaramouche and Duke are wrestling on the floor. Scaramouche had done his magical girl transformation into Prince, though it took a lot longer than usual, so he claims.

You couldn't believe your eyes, but it's much better than your boyfriend being a closet pervert or a serial killer. When you look at your two cats, Scaramouche sits on top of Duke as if victorious over his win. But from how he's sitting, you know he's barely putting any weight on the kitten.

“Really? You couldn’t pretend to let him win?” you ask, deadpan.

Scaramouche meows. Then, he gets off Duke, who rolls over, and starts clawing at Scaramouche. The two go at it again, and you close your book and go to take a shower instead.

You're sitting on your bed with your book when Scaramouche suddenly pokes his head from underneath. Then, he crawls out until you can't see the pages of your book anymore. His front paws are on your chest, and he suddenly kneads them and purrs gently.

“I would find this cute if you were an actual cat,” you say. He looks at you with large innocent eyes, and you sigh softly. You pick him up. “Pervert.” Scaramouche meows. “...But you’re my pervert.”

When you put him down, he instantly curls up next to you. Next, you lean over to look at Duke in the living room, who's passed out in the cat tree. Then, you turn off the light… hoping there won't be any interruptions tomorrow morning.

Chapter Eleven

End Notes:

Stalkermouche...Pizzamouche...Minimouche... there are endless possibilities for his name. XD. I did not expect this chapter to be so long @_@. Also, that last bed scene with Kittymouche was inspired by a TikTok an anon sent me on Tumblr XD.

There are only 1-2 chapters left for this story... and I'm kind of sad about it. I knew from the beginning that this story wouldn't be very long. But still. (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

Tag List: @suoshiii @lordbugs @feverish-dove @126dvtn @one-offmind @sweet-almonds @pooonyo @n8mareee @killuixz @w9vyy @124eve @dameofthorns (I think you were mxrossweisse? She was on the tag list before) @genderfluid-insomniac @goodthingimsam @thenightsflower @yo4loer @lxry-chxn @leon-to-sayaka @melodyyamino @meowlumi @beriiov @garbageandhot @kuni-k @elentari-celestaire

#genshin scaramouche #genshin impact fanfic #genshin fanfiction #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche fluff #genshin impact scaramouche

[redroseincorporated]

sectonia taught me something

tw sad i guess lmao

why, whenever i make a tumblr post, is it long as fuck. do i just take that long to cook?

"hol on guys i still got 3 hours left in the Crock-Pot™ "

my mom has one of these!

anyway heres the post:

so, ive gotten back into my kirby phase right 02's theme dragged me back into the hells

(this is slowly turning into a kirby blog. my top post is the rant on zero one)

anyway

kirby's been a big interest of mine ever since i played triple deluxe on my 3ds xl in like 2018 idefk

its kinda apart of my personality tbh. i really like lovecraftian horrors now and ive tried to mimick some of the kirby style in my own stories (best example being my bugs having eyes more similar to halcandra dees than the bug fables or hollow knight)

when i was a kid, i didnt really think much about the story of games i played.

i just went 'ohohoho. oheeeheehee. i kil yu.'

but, once i got my hands on lore youtube, oH MY GOD.

to summarize it, kirby triple deluxe is basically

there is a beanstalk

it takes you to floating islands!

grow the beanstalk to save the fairies who live on the islands from the evil queen!

the evil queen has an evil henchman (OF WHOM I THOUGHT WAS A GIRL. TARANZA. NAME ENDS IN AN A. THATS A FEMININE NAMING SCHEME. ALSO BRUV YOUR HAIR CONFUSED 8 YEAR OLD ME WHO DIDNT KNOW WHAT BISEXUALS WERE) who is doing her evils as well!

fight the evil henchman spider and fight the queen herself!

she fuses with a flower and you take her down with a giant ass laser! (american kirby. now in theatres near you)

that's the plot.

but the lore is kinda dark. duh, this is kirby.

if you've seen my call-out post, you know the basic jist of the lore. if you havent seen it, i'll explain

taranza got his wife, sectonia, a mirror for a gift! since she loved admiring her appearance

that mirror was the amazing mirror, a portal to the mirror dimension!

now i dont know how the fuck this happened but it fucked her up! and turned! her! in! to! a! bee!

she wanted to be as beautiful as human(spider?)ly possible so she turned into a bee ig

taranza assured her she was beautiful, but respected her changes

sectonia grew mad, trying to become as beautiful as possible, and fused with the dreamstalk/flower i mentioned above

and dies

now thats dark!

but here's where it gets interesting

i was in the shower like

sectonia was chill and okay with herself

someone provided her with a way to notice how cool she was

sectonia realized she wanted to be better because wow! someone said i was cool! i want that again!

sectonia then tried everything in her power to become beautiful, to gain that compliment!

and people told her, 'yeah sectonia! you are beautiful! you are drop dead gorgeous!'

sectonia did not believe them!

so she strove to be better!

and eventually the compliments probably didnt mean anything to her! they probably went out one ear and out the other!

and so these compliments didnt have the same effect as they previously did! but sectonia wanted the good compliments! she still wanted to be beautiful!

but the compliments didnt work

and so in a sisyphus like situation, she drove herself mad, dying for what she craved and yet couldnt recieve

and shower me was like

damn!

i kinda realized

i was chill and okay with myself

someone provided me with a way to notice how cool i was

i realized i wanted to be better because wow! someone said i was cool! i want that again!

i then tried everything in my power to become accomplished, to gain that compliment!

and people told me, 'yeah choco! you are accomplished! you can do anything!'

i did not believe them! for some reason! (idk why to this fucking day)

so i strove to be better!

and eventually the compliments didnt mean anything to me! they went out one ear and out the other!

and so these compliments didnt have the same effect as they previously did! but i wanted the good compliments! i still wanted to be accomplished! and recognized! and loved!

but the compliments didnt work

and so in a sisyphus like situation, i drove myself mad.

and im like

damn!

am i going to die waiting for my shower water to heat up? (because its STUCK ON ROOM TEMPERATURE. i needa ask my dad to fix it)

and i going to die waiting for Her war to end?

am i going to die waiting for someone to tell me they love me, and die waiting for me to realize they mean it?

am i going to keep working and working just to gain nothing? am i going to keep people pleasing in hopes someone advocates for me and die trying?

i find myself making my largest mental health break-throughs not from others words, but on my own.

and so an hour ago i stood in the shower realizing im killing myself in what im doing

working for what others see of me and not myself

do i want to go out that way?

🥔

#self love #kirby #sectonia

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

#nnstuff #ask #csa tw #asks are sweethearts

[mallowstep]

Hii! Previous shipping discourse anon here after doing some Thinking(tm). I think the problem that people see in proshippers is not that it *is* dark or deals with sensitive topics, but that's its weirdly...fetish-y? Like, there's a specific breed of anti that I don't like that's that's kaeluc antis(basically, sworn bros v adopted bros)(because their entire argument is a bit sinophobic) but there are ppl who will go out of their way to make them adopted bros anyway so. You can Tell it's a fetish

Oh man I vaguely remember when we were talking about kaeluc on here. Still know Nothing about it but I remember it (for some reason) came up.

…or I read about it on another blog?

Whatever. More to the point.

I’m a strong defender of “it’s cool to like dark fiction just because you enjoy it.” I don’t think anyone needs a justification. We don’t demand people explain why they like watching action movies with blood and death, do we?

But also I know exactly what you mean. Like. Eurgh. I am way too tired to explain my very complex thoughts about human sexuality. But for one thing, adopted siblings falling in love is like. A really old trope. Do I like it? No. Is it a thing? For some reason! (S/o to Cassandra Claire for letting me accidentally read her weird incest fantasy books.) But okay, I think I can say…

There are people who write things purely for porn purposes. I try not to judge those too much, with a few exceptions, mostly what I referenced earlier.

Then there are people exploring themes etc. Which is like. That’s what I do. Actually it’s funny that you used that example because one of my fic ideas includes the line “Why do I want to call you my brother when we’re having sex?” (It’s a joke in context, but explaining that context is beyond the point.) So like yeah they are generally speaking fine in my book.

And then there’s the middle ground where things get murky. It’s clearly not someone just writing something for the purposes of getting off, but it’s also not a sincere exploration. It’s…yeah, it’s something else.

I’m too tired to really wrap this up. Lemme try anyway.

I think a lot of people…okay, this goes back in part to media literacy, but there’s also some current cultural factors here, but a lot of people struggle to separate their intrinsic disgust from actual risk. It’s like — there was a spider living in my bathroom for a while. It kind of terrified me at first but the spider is just chilling. The spider is not an actual harm to me.

And as an author, sometimes I just want to make people feel revulsed and disgusted. God knows I’m familiar enough with the feeling.

Okay I am literally falling asleep as I type. Hopefully this makes sense? I am so exhausted, it’s been a Rough Ass Week in ya boy.

Maybe like. In reference to my previous comment on Lolita, I want people to understand the disgust they feel in response is part of the stories. Stories are meant to be felt. Sometimes horror is part of the feeling.

Oh my god I cannot keep my eyes open why did I think this was a good idea.

I really don’t have a label in the discourse. I don’t care what I am labeled as, so as long as it doesn’t involve misinformation.

K that’s all for tonight but I’ll check my inbox for you in the morning nonnie

#mine #ask #anon #shipcourse #sorry if this is incoherent I’m that tired #these shipcourse discussions are my favorites #the ones that don’t waste time on legs #fuck #can’t do it too tired #love you night

[ayearofpike]

I recently read/re-read some of Pike's books and came across this blog in the process. I love your analyses and comparisons of plot and character similarities among his books. Among the ones I read, Monster was my favorite - forgive me if you've said this somewhere, but do you have a personal favorite or least favorite of his stories?

I started answering this a while ago, and then mindlessly navigated away from the page and lost like twenty minutes of work. It was so frustrating that I abandoned the question, trying to give myself space and time that I wanted to invest again.

Because this is a great question. I actually meant to consider this in a sort of wrap-up post, with a summary and personal reflection. But after close to 100 stories I was so burned out on Pike that I wasn't in any place to think about it. (Kind of the same as what happened with the first version of this response.)

So four years later, here's my bests and worsts of the whole experience.

My top 5 favorites

See You Later. A heartfelt love story that unlocks all the feels. Maybe it's nostalgia, but I can't help myself with this one.

Master of Murder. More nostalgia, but it actually is genuinely clever, making the suspense novelist figure out the crime he's been subconsciously reporting for a year.

Monster. Dude, I knew I liked this and was creeped out by it back in the day, but I did not remember how tight and how chilling this story was. Maybe his actual best.

Whisper of Death. Creepy and delightful. Character motivations work, activities and actions and repercussions work, and even the sense of "wrong place, wrong time" feels right.

Die Softly. This book is fucked, but in a good way. I love how we're rooting for one thing and slowly come to realize it's all wrong.

other good ones

Bury Me Deep. A tight story with minimal characters and set. Believable and not overused.

Remember Me. It's a classic and a best-seller for a reason. Just … like, ignore the sequels.

Last Act. Even though I don't love the "ladies be crazy" conceit, this is a solid suspense mystery that we actually have a chance to unravel.

Weekend. Yeah, I like the mysteries. This one is realistic in characters and actions. And yeah, admittedly, I have a soft spot for my first Pike book.

pleasant surprises

Execution of Innocence. I don't know if it actually aged well, what with the crazy-gay trope, but I was grateful for the realistic crime story.

Gimme a Kiss. I remembered this one being simplistic and uninteresting. Maybe because I was a dumb kid. As an old man, I appreciated the thoughtful plot and agency of the female characters.

The Visitor. The first time around, I was mad at how short this book was. The reread revealed that it had exactly as much as it needed.

Spooksville in general. I hadn't read these before, and was expecting disconnected slime monster horror. It was nice to stick with one group of kids and one setting, even if the "scares" were diverse.

unpleasant surprises

The Lost Mind. I remembered this one being such a great story with a killer structure and an amazing twist, and was really bugged when, upon reread, I discovered it had a MASSIVE plot and character hole.

Falling. It was creepy in a good way the first time I read it, but coming back to it made it creepy in a bad way. Also, all his strong female agency in the good books goes out the window in this one.

The Star Group. One I loved at the time, with the whole idea of high school friend groups forever until we die, but upon reread the death wasn't actually a payoff.

books that don't include enough

Magic Fire. We needed more backstory, particularly on the love interest, since she was the whole reason for the story happening and we just plain don't know why.

The Tachyon Web. More about the characters (not to mention societies and interstellar politics) would have made this a deeper and more satisfying story.

The Grave. It has a lot of promise, but there's not enough about how they end up where they are and what might happen next or what it means. Seemed like he tried again with Witch World, which is ... sort of better? But still not great.

bottom 5

(tumblr won't let me do a numbered list in reverse)

5. Chain Letter 2. Throwing away a thoughtful portrayal of a kid with cancer-induced mental illness in order to move some books on the power of Satanic Panic.

4. Black Knight. It's The Hunger Games, except … not good.

3. The Wicked Heart. I can't with the fuckin' Hitler, Kevin.

2. Witch. I can't tell if nobody cares or if everyone cares too much. Either way, it sucks.

1. Remember Me 3. Not just the unnecessary-sequelness, though that's part of it. Shari Cooper didn't remember herself, and becomes a racist asshat, and I don't want anything here.

[lumenflowered]

Hello. My name is Maria. I am a Faller hailing from Yharnam, a place that is comparatively far darker in a literal and figurative sense than this world. If you also hail from there, I would not mind commiserating. If you know of the name Yharnam from elsewhere, my condolences. If you are not familiar with it at all, I would not recommend requesting further information on it without being mentally prepared.

Out of a lack of anything better to do after Falling into the Johto region and a desire to do anything but think extensively upon my past, I embarked upon the local Gym Challenge. Since then, I have forged an alliance with a god considerably kinder than those I am familiar with, driven the cowards calling themselves Team Rocket out of that region, and defeated the previous Champion of the Indigo League.

While I am technically the new Indigo League Champion, I am not yet formally so due to the re-emergence of Team Rocket in the adjacent Kanto region. I will be putting an end to their schemes once and for all, for the machinations of Giovanni pale in comparison to the horrors I witnessed before Falling into this world.

My trainer card is attached above, for I've found that I look rather dashing in it even if the image refuses to embed itself properly, and my team is as follows:

Rakuyo (Meganium, X) Hunter (Furret, F) Molotov (Arcanine, M) Adeline (Gengar, F) Evelyn (Kingdra, F) Eileen (Honchkrow, F)

My Gengar, Adeline, rather enjoys borrowing my Pokégear to make posts for herself or to provide additional commentary on my own. As she is considerably better versed in the technology of this world than I am, I have no qualms with this, and she favors the color purple.

I suppose that Silver does still count as my rival, even if the rivalry was always rather one-sided. She is twelve years old and as such does not borrow my blog often, but when she has occasion to, she uses blue. She is currently undercover and has requested that I and others refer to her as a girl until she no longer has need to be. She is a girl now and you will refer to her as such.

On occasion, Ho-oh utilizes this platform and blog to communicate with me and with others. They do so in bolded orange text, and have since chosen an additional name that they use interchangeably with that of their species: Solaire.

The first person I met in this world was a ten-year-old boy named Ethan. He introduced me to his mother, Reina, a woman who I hold in great esteem and bear much affection for. Though I do not anticipate either of them having much reason to use my blog again, both did appear in conjunction once—Reina using pink, and her son using yellow.

(Unfortunately, the color yellow seems to have been removed since then, and Ade is uncertain as to how one might go about restoring it. On the off chance Ethan does ever have reason to come here again, I suppose I will ask him what he would prefer instead.)

Recently, there was an... incident... where my Pokégear was stolen from me via Pelipper Mail, and delivered to a woman in the same world as I. This woman referred to herself as simply "Dee", favoring green text to differentiate her posts from my own, and did eventually return my device... if not face to face.

For the most part, I can only speculate as to what the truth about Dee may be, but I know she has some association with the individual who stole my Pokégear in the first place (whose messages were all sent in bolded red text, oddly enough) and I have reason to suspect that they may be a Faller from Yharnam as well.

I do not know why, or how, I have come here. I suppose it ultimately matters little; the people of Johto have shown me great kindness, and I have no intention of allowing Team Rocket to continue their heinous acts any longer. I simply have to locate them, first...

(OOC info under cut!)

Still @ofstormsandfire, still way too invested in my silly little pokeblog where I thought it would be funny to throw a bloodborne boss (and perhaps some others...) into the world of pokemon. I already had three pokeblogs, but I realized I could do really cool things with a faller blog, and I'm so normal about Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, come closer.

Worth keeping in mind that Maria is an ex-Bloodborne boss (she lost her bossfight, that's how she got here) and so canon-typical themes for that will be unlikely to faze her as much as they would the average pokeblog or even the average faller. This includes, but isn't limited to: death, blood, cosmic horror, nightmares, probably some other things I'm forgetting. I do my best to tag for stuff but if you'd like me to tag for something else, just ask!

Some navigational tags for y'all (if I could figure out how to make them chronological, I would):

#firebird arc: I smashed together the Radio Tower plot and the Ho-oh plot, made the Kimono Girls more relevant, and also ramped up the stakes a little. Called that because Ho-oh is a firebird and also I'm 90% sure there's a kind of rocket called the Firebird. I like puns. I also put way too much effort into this and I regret nothing.

#from the ashes arc: I made Giovanni a significantly larger threat, threw a full on Rocket base into Tohjo Falls, and traumatized Silver a whole bunch. Please mind the tags on this one; someone dies here, though they don't stay that way for more than five minutes.

#kanto rocket arc: Remember what I said about Giovanni being a Threat? Team Rocket is actually up to more than a little petty crime in Kanto, and posts relating to that will be tagged with this.

#milf time and sonboy hours: The fairly brief takeover by Ethan and his mom (mostly his mom) on Valentine's Day. They might show up again sometime, you never know.

#passing stranger: Posts made by or in relation to someone known only to you, and to Maria, as "Dee" for the time being. While Dee's true identity is currently unknown, it seems that she knows Maria... even though Maria doesn't know her. (This tag will be reused; "Dee" will be returning, and you'll likely even know who she is by then!)

#rainbow wings: That time Ho-oh showed up on the blog specifically to tell Maria to take a break. Same tag is used whenever Ho-oh turns up now, which is not particularly often but does happen.

#what's with this sassy lost child?: The Silver takeover, as well as future posts by her. Has a Crobat. She's not sure how to feel about that one. Has also spent a nonzero amount of time attempting to steal Maria's drip via cosplay.

#ask game: Reblogs of ask games and responses to asks for said ask games. Fairly self-explanatory.

#hints to the future: Bits of prose foreshadowing things to come, because I got really into that one ask game with the gears. (I'm always open for that particular ask game, btw, no matter how long it's been since I last reblogged it. I can always think of something.)

#the vampire allegations: A couple of people made jokes about Maria being a vampire. Admittedly, she is from Cainhurst which is the closest Bloodborne gets to proper vampires, and I thought it would be really funny to have her be allergic to garlic for legitimately mundane reasons.

#pokeblogging intro #rotomblr #pokeblogging #pokeblog rp #pokemon irl #ooc: this still isn't the last intro post I'll have to make LMAO #ooc: but it'll be the last one for a while #ooc: at least until the truth comes out abt dee

[crochetysquare]

Jester’s Hat Pattern

I meant to post this on New Year’s Day. Oops. Hello, all 5 followers that aren’t bots! I typed that sentence and realized I haven’t been checking for bots in my sideblog. To be fair, I haven’t been doing a great job of posting to my crochetblr at all since I started it. Let this be the beginning of a year of more-or-less monthly patterns! More updates on the quilt! More one-off posts! This is the year of crochet!

Some of you may have noticed that I changed this blog's title last year. I felt that "NotUrGrannySquares" didn't fit me. I didn't really like it at the beginning, but it's the all I could think of (and it wasn't too creative, since I only spelt it "Ur" because "NotYourGrannySquares" was taken--not to mention, there are plenty of patterns out there with similar names). As I began to collect a few pieces from my mom and grandma for my quilt, I felt more at odds with the blog name: these are my granny's squares! I posted this one a while ago, but the other two from her are waffle stitch samples. One is incomplete, using a merino wool yarn, and the other she fished out of the kitchen when I asked if I could incorporate the wool one into the quilt, and it’s clearly a polyester because it’s slightly melted in the center where it had been holding hot things. I’m obsessed with the texture that’s resulted.

I landed on “crochety” because I’ve described myself as a crotchety old man, the word “crotchety” shares origins with the word “crochet,” and I liked how Dictionary.com defined it.

crotchety adjective 1. given to odd notions, whims, grouchiness, etc.

I am given to odd notions and whims. That’s the whole thesis of my quilt, isn’t it? That’s why I haven’t been posting patterns. When I’m crocheting, I’m crocheting. I can’t stop every row and write down what I did. Worse, I can’t write it down and then rewrite it in a text document. I tried to teach myself coding last year because I was told it’s “just logic,” and being logically minded, I should be good at it. The thing is, it’s also typing, and I fucking hate typing. (You’re looking up at the past 4 paragraphs skeptically. This is different. Just trust me that it’s different. You’ll see what I mean when you look at the pattern and how poorly I’ve cleaned it up because something about typing shit like, “Ch 3, turn, sk 1st st, sc in 2nd ch from hook, sc in next sc, sc 15, ch 2, sc in next sc, sc 15, ch 3, turn, sk 1st ch, sc in sc in sc in sc in sc in next st and to end,” just itches my brain so uncomfortably. Crocheting is so intuitive for me, and translating it from the physical realm to the written kills me. It’s like when I would finish my geometry proof before everyone else, and the teacher would suggest I help the kid next to me, but I couldn’t put it into words. I don’t know, dude, you just put the things where they go. Just put the hook through the correct stitch. Just make it the shape of one third of a jester’s hat. That’s how you make a pattern. Just do the thing that obviously you should do. This is why I like diagram crochet patterns more, which I would like to get into on here in the future. However, this pattern reflects the madness that is my brain trying to type up patterns. When I started this blog, I thought I would do a bunch of patterns like that, maybe with a horror narrative evolving around the monotony and the separation between typography and craft, and then I realized how much tongue in cheek patterning that would require. Hmm. Maybe someday, though.)

So anyway, this is NOT your granny’s pattern because I bet she has better discipline than I do. She would have cleaned this pattern up to the necessary bits. I’m too damn crotchety for that.

All 3 panels will follow this pattern. I used (most of) 3 skeins of Buttercream Luxe Craft 100% Wool yarn. It is yarn weight 5, recommending 6.0mm crochet hooks, and for once I did what I was told.

It appears that Joann has rebranded it to Knit & Crochet, but it also seems I have moved to an area with mediocre Joanns which carry neither. Which is whatever; I have gift cards to better yarn shops.

You can follow the same scheme of adding stitches with different starting row counts. This ended up being a little more than 25 inches in circumference, which made it just a bit too big for me. I rolled up the brim on the underside when I wore it, which worked fine for me and my 21 inch head since it’s a nice thick yarn.

Key I'm using US terms. ch = Chain sc = Single crochet sk = Skip sc2tog = single crochet 2 together That's all you need. It's easy peasy, you got this, gorgeous.

Ch 31. 1. skip 1st ch. sc 30. ch 1, turn. 2-10. sc 30, ch 1, turn. 11. sc 30, ch 2, turn. 12. sk first ch, sc in second from hook. sc across. Ch 2 again! and turn. 13. sk first ch, sc in second, sc 16, ch 2, sc in next stitch and to end. (32 total, 16 on each side. We're gonna stop keeping count, though. I didn't, and it turned out just fine. You'll be fine, as long as all your panels are Shaped.) Ch 2, and turn. 14. Sk first ch, sc in second, sc 17. In 2 ch space {sc, ch 2, sc}. Sc to end. Ch 2, turn. 15-16. You know what you're doing. Sc to that chain space, and sc, ch 2, sc, and keep going. Ch 2, turn. 17. Now it switches up, but not really. Sk first ch, sc in second. Sc to 2ch space {sc, ch 2, sc}, sc to end. NOW. Chain 3. Turn. 18. Sc in second and third ch from hook. sc to chain space {sc, ch 2, sc}, sc to end. Ch. 3. 19. NOW it switches up. Sc in second and third ch, sc across. You hear me? Single crochet across! Skip that chain space entirely this time 'round! 20-22. In 20, you add the ch space in... um. shoot. This is why people keep track of stitches. Add the ch space above where it was in 18. IDK, you got this. ch 3, turn. 23. Hey, just skip that ch space again, okay. Don't argue (you can argue, change the pattern, idgaf). Ch 3, turn. 24. sc in second and third ch from hook, sc 31, ch 2 without skipping, sc 32. Ch 3, turn. 25-27. Same as 20-22. 28. Do that thing where you omit the ch space. Or don't. I'm not your mother. 29-30. Same as 20-22 and 25-27. 31. This is ittttttttt! Single crochet until that 2 chain space where I need you to use that one stitch in the key you forgot about? The sc2tog? Keep sc'ing to the end and fasten the fuck off, you did it.

Now you just have to do that two more times and probably in different colors. Maybe if you're fancy you could do stripes. Row 31 should have 92 stitches, but, like I said in Row 13, as long as it's Shaped, you're honestly good. As longs as the Shapes are Basically The Same, you are grooving.

Sew them up. I slip stitched them together because I'm more comfortable with a hook than a needle (and I think it looks nice). Don’t forget to affix something that jingle jangles. 🃏

#crochet patterns #my patterns #crochet

[cultivatingyourfuture]

k now i’ve gotta ask about neil and why you tagged my post about rabies with him. i’m so intrigued you don’t even know

ok. ok. I was working on the paige ask you sent but oooog my God neil. I've gotta talk about neil

so neil (best image I've got of the little guy is this one, which is from 2 years ago, is part of a palate challenge, and contains some injury/self harm content because that was plot relevant at the time so watch out for that) is one of my favorite characters in my entire project. he started out as an elaborate neil cicierega/lemon demon joke and then i thought about him Too Much and now I'm here. oopsie

the tldr of him is that he's got a cool dad and he likes power rangers and trains and aliens and video games but also he's an odd little guy who really likes horror and taxidermy and gore blood etc etc. he's got a sister who loves him to death and gives him the time of day when no one else does and then his entire family is slaughtered, he's kidnapped and organ harvested, and then he gets turned into a killing machine and murders multiple people by command of someone else. ^_^ And he's 12 when this happens to him (10 when his family dies) (14 when it all ends but uhhh they ocarina of time'd his ass because they went ok! we got all the data we need we don't need u anymore!! and shut him down and put him in storage for five more years. he's not physically changed or anything but that's just. six years where he was effectively dead that he's never going to get back. im so nice to my characters ^_^)

the long version:

so side note. the thing about ivywood is that the story is kind of split three ways-- you've got the marshall family and what happened to them in 1999, you've got paige and pierre jensen who are siblings who start a highly successful tech company and what happens within that, and you have cherry, an escaped, unfinished experiment who is found by a trying-her-best scientist lady named francesca (or frankie (or fizzle)) and fixed up, who then gets fixated on finding out who he was before she became a cyborg because they believe it's what will make them 'truly human.' there's a singular factor connecting these three stories together-- however, neil is present in all three narratives by nature of being connected to this factor. id go into it more but im talking about neil and if i talk about eveline more than i have to to understand neil we will be here all fucking day so jus. stick a pin in that

so!! neil marshall. he's born in 1988 on February 29th to a man named scott marshall (named after. scott the woz. i have no explanation) and a mother who died when he was two. a few years pass, scott reconnects with an old college friend named amy dolores, who's working as a nurse (she's a reference to the song amnesia was her name) and is raising 3 kids on her own-- mason, the oldest, who she had when she was still in high school, and her twins william and benjamin (songs referenced are modify, bill waterson, and ben bernake respectively. all by lemon demon. musics a big theme in this thing). Scott and Amy get married when neil is four, and while scott and amy are terribly overworked they're great parents all around. Scott never once makes a difference between Mason, Ben, Bill, and Neil-- to him, they're all his and that's all that matters. Scott didn't exactly have the best upbringing (relevant for later if i ever dive into who eveline was [is? was?] on this blog) and he swore to never do that to his kids, and he's just. God I love scott marshall. ok sorry

so neils weird and autistic and i adore him. he likes programming (like his dad does!) and video games and music and general popular media of the time like star wars and power rangers and what have you but he's also got a lot of stranger interests for a kid. he loves conspiracy theories, he's fascinated by death and disease and taxidermy, he thinks morbidity is cool but not in like. an edgy way? more like "hi did you know they used to put people in boats of honey out in swamps so the wildlife would consume them and its thought to be one of the most painful ways to die in the world !!!! isn't that so interesting !!!!!!!!!" and he's overall very very earnest. he means well. and his family loves him, but they dont quite understand him, but they still dont really put him down for it. hell, scott encourages a lot of his interests!!! but. other people are not as kind. and as much as his parents try, there's only so much they can do to make their kid feel welcome, accepted, normal. neil stops talking quite as much after a while, especially about the things that make him happy, innocuous or otherwise. it's... not something to talk about. he doesn't like being seen as weird. it doesn't feel good.

when he's eight, the marshalls get this new family friend named eveline woode. eveline talks funny and walks weird and wears clothes that look too out of date for a teenager to be wearing because masons the same age as her and she doesnt dress like evie does and eveline has no idea what basic things are, like computers or consoles or even how to use the telephone. eveline is quiet and soft spoken and apologetic and melancholic but by god is she kind and understanding. and she is so, so endlessly interested in the things neil has to say. it's like she's seeing the games he likes and the movies he watches for the first time in her entire life, and when he says something off kilter it doesn't put her off. she engages, she asks questions, she knits him dolls of his favorite video game characters and gives him books about ancient burial practices because she knows that's what he enjoys and he helps her bake and garden and eveline is one of the few people in his life that make him feel accepted, normal, loved. and eveline adores him. and they're just as much of siblings as they could be.

three years later, neil watches someone kill his family in cold blood. first ben, then bill, and then scott. they say they want eveline, that they just want eveline, that if his brothers or father hadnt tried to attack them they wouldve been fine. and then before he knows it evelines got him and they're running and running and running and he doesn't know if his mother and sister are going to be okay, he just knows they were told to go.

but eveline has a bad leg. eveline is slowing them down. eveline is the first to stop, to tell him its either both of them or one of them, and he's just a kid. he doesn't want to leave her, but she promises she'll find him again soon. he trusts her. he runs away, and he never sees eveline again. he never sees anyone in his family again.

he's placed with his aunt. a year or so later, someone who looks a hell of a lot like the person who ruined his life but not exactly comes and tells him he's been sent to finish the job, to kill neil too, but... he doesn't want to do that. it's not his fault he got wrapped up in this mess, anyway. and neils just a kid.

this man asks neil to come willingly. that, if he does so, he might be able to make sure he at least lives. neil is eleven years old and he is terrified and yet he can find no reason to keep going. he goes with the man. he is forever changed. his hair turns yellow and there is something wrong with his arms. he can't remember his name anymore.

he is put through testing. they make him into a weapon. they make him primed to kill. they take his memories of his family, of eveline, of himself, and these people tell him when he's done a good job, when he's done right. when they throw people into his enclosure with him and tell him to go for the throat, or the heart, or whatevers available and vital, he does so hoping only that they'll be proud of him for how strong he is. it feels nice to be accepted.

but they get everything they need out of him, and someone higher up makes an order, and suddenly he's not needed anymore. he's put into an eternal sleep, dangling between conscious and unconscious. he's forgotten, left to rust. other cyborgs take his place; other people come and go. no one remembers him.

the next time this boy will wake up, the facility will be ruined. he will have a singular, simple objective; find the intruder, and kill them. he will succeed in doing this.

he will not recognize the slope of their nose, the way they do not run from him. he will not notice the funny way they walk. he will not remember who he was or why it matters that they say the name neil like he's supposed to recognize it.

he just does what he was made to do.

#welcome to hell buddy hope u enjoy the ride!!! #cws for All of that bullshit under the cut here -> #blood cw #death cw #kidnapping cw #familial death cw #i think i made it sound like eveline was on the run from like. the law or something. #and oh buddy i wish that was the case. she woulda gotten out so much better if itd been something like that. #murder cw #also neils got a plant in him. for reasons. the plant is a lemon tree. i might call him lemon smtimes but its the same guy #fratricide #<- ? lol #neil #eveline #lore #asks #merriclo #also the finer details of this sre gettin hammered out but the tldr is completely accurate at least

[bl4cktourmaline]

PROFILE PAGE☆

ᵎᵎ 📳 modena🎨 is calling.. | ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ

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​​ModEna🎨

Hai I’m Ena but my name is Mango!

୨♡୧ Pronouns:

❅ She/They

୨♡୧ Age:

❅ 12-16

୨♡୧ Hobbies:

❅ Drawing, Writing, Making bracelets, baking

୨♡୧ Specialty (chars you write well for):

❅ Tsukasa (probs add more later)

୨♡୧ Favourite food :

❅ sabritones or hot fries :3

୨♡୧ Least Favourite food :

❅ Many pastas (love alfredo doe)

୨♡୧ Favourite Color :

❅ Pink

୨♡୧ Favourite PJSK character :

❅ Tsukasa + all nightcord chars!

୨♡୧ Characters I Kin :

❅ Misturi (KNY), Himari (Doughnuts under a cresent moon), Mei (Turning Red)

୨♡୧ Genre tastes :

❅ Fluff, Angst

୨♡୧ Fav music :

❅ Rock, J-pop, K-pop, pop

୨♡୧ Fav mangas :

❅ Doughnuts under a Crescent Moon, The Summer You Were There, KNY

ᵎᵎ 📳 modmafuyu🎼 is calling... | ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ

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ModMafuyu🎼

Hi-nya𝅘𝅥𝅮 I'm Mod Mafuyu, otherwise known as 'X'!

୨♡୧ Pronouns :

❅ She/her

୨♡୧ Age:

❅ 16

୨♡୧ Hobbies :

❅ Gaming, Baking, Drawing & Singing

୨♡୧ Specialty(which character you write especially well for) :

❅ Nene + All of N25

୨♡୧ Favourite food :

❅ Soba + Salmon + Ice-cream!

୨♡୧ Least Favourite food :

❅ Spicy food

୨♡୧ Favourite Color :

❅ Purple and Blues~

୨♡୧ Favourite PJSK character :

❅ Nene and Mafuyu

୨♡୧ Characters I kin(Top 3) :

❅ I kin a lot of people, however I do think my highest kins are Nene, Ena and either Mizuki/Honami

୨♡୧ Genre tastes :

❅ Horror, Thriller, Fantasy and especially mystery!! I like anything sad too/hj

୨♡୧ Music :

❅ Pop, C-pop, J-pop

୨♡୧ Fav music artists :

❅ Roan Lee, Miori Celesta, Nerissa Ravencroft, Rachie, PinocchioP, DECO*27, Hachi and Ado. I love too many.

୨♡୧ Fav Animes :

❅ Kimetsu no Yaiba, No Game No Life, Gakkou Gurashi! And Mieruko-chan

୨♡୧ Fav Games :

❅ Genshin Impact, Path to Nowhere, Reverse 1999, Tears of Themis, PJSK

୨♡୧ Funfacts :

❅ I am formally known as 'Xilyks' on tumblr. I went on hiatus for exams but when I came back I was more interested in PJSK. Then I thought 'why not kidnap some friends to write with me?'' If you were an old follower of mine. Hello!<3

ᵎᵎ 📳 modmizuki⛩️ is calling... | ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ

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ModMizuki⛩️

(｡･ω･)ﾉﾞ Hello

hii hii!!, I'm Mod Mizuki! I'm also known as "Yue" nice to meet youuu !! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ

୨♡୧ Pronouns :

❅ She/her

୨♡୧ Age:

❅ 20+

୨♡୧ Hobbies :

❅ Gaming, Writing, Reading & Listening to Music

୨♡୧ Specialty(which character you write especially well for) :

❅ Mostly male characters but I can do some girl ones if I want to be... creative enough (･∀･)

୨♡୧ Favourite food :

❅ Spicy Foods, Noodles, Fries and Waffles

୨♡୧ Least Favourite food :

❅ Vegetables (funny enough, my code color is green) ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ

୨♡୧ Favourite Color :

❅ Purple, White, Blue and Light Green

୨♡୧ Favourite PJSK character :

❅ Toya, Rui, An & Shizuku

୨♡୧ Characters I kin(Top 3) :

❅ Honestly, I like everyone equally but hmm...I think my top kin is probably Rui, Touya and either Nene/Kohane

୨♡୧ Genre tastes :

❅ Pop Music, Rock & Jazz

୨♡୧ Fav music artists :

❅ Reol, Eve, Aimer, Milet, Give Heart Records & Amalee

୨♡୧ Fav Animes:

❅ Haikyuu!!, MHA, KNY, The Rising Of The Shield Hero & Jujutsu Kaisen

୨♡୧ Fav Games :

❅ Genshin impact, Honkai Star Rail, Tears of Themis, Ensemble Stars, Reverse: 1999, Xenoblade Chronicles 2&3, Persona 4&5 and Fire Emblem Three Houses

୨♡୧ Fun Facts :

❅ I start writing at the age of 12 so I'm constantly trying to find a way to improve my writing skills!

❅ I named myself as yue which is like the front face for darker and unhingedness side of me which happened often, yui for my cheesy and daydreamer part and yua for my rambling writer personality...did you notice only one letter is changed?

❅ I absolutely love folklores especially japanese folklores!! You might see a lot of references to those folklore in the future!

❅ I'm the graphic designer for those banners and headers you see here and no I don't have an degree for it but I start editing when I was still using wattpad! I'm also the editor for this blog, I want to make the blog look appealing and easy for you to navigate through!

❅ X actually kidnapped me into working together with her and mango (they are my precious friends 💕) when I was telling her one of my stories draft and that's where we are now~

❅ I mostly write yandere as less violent as most yandere that being portrayed as most bloody and unhinged killers on the media, it's meaning of the term, yan is sick and dere is love then you get lovesick! I want to be unique and tried to match the yandere traits with the existing personality of the character so I hope you enjoy my stories~

#꒰🌺⌇❛・info page-˚༉₊

[dark9896]

Questions [Klaus x Reader]

Requested by Anonymous ❓️

You were just starting to show signs of being pregnant and Klaus was becoming increasingly worried about everything. In this city, every turn was potentially dangerous. Despite having gone through this all once before, whilst carrying your now seven-year-old daughter Emillina, Klaus would always worry about how much you tried to do.

As much as Klaus despised the idea of neglecting any of his duties as a father, husband, or protector, he hadn't calculated for the curiosity of a child. And Emillina was full of curiosity about why Momma was getting sick, and why Papa was treating this as normal. She had heard the term baby being thrown around, even being asked if she would want a younger brother or younger sister.

She needed answers.

It wasn't quite bedtime when Emillina walked into the living room. Papa cuddling Momma was a normal sight, even though Momma was being a little grumpy. No one had really explained why Momma was being so weird and Emillina had a hunch that it was because of the baby everyone kept saying would be here soon.

"Momma, Papa." Emillina looked up with her bright green eyes, "How are babies born?"

Klaus felt like his soul was trying to escape his body. While it wasn't exactly the question he thought would be asked, it was still a very brazen question. One he didn't expect out of his little Shatzi.

"Sweetie, that's a really difficult question to answer." Klaus just looked at you, how had you not missed a beat? "See, when people are old enough, they start to have needs. And some people talk through all the things that can happen, to make sure everyone in the room is okay with what's going on."

Klaus could only sit there. How in the world did you already have this sort of talk ready to go?

"And one of those things is having a baby." Emillina was hanging onto every word, "After nine or ten months, I'll go to the hospital. Having a baby is very messy and requires a lot of special care that Papa and Mr. Gilbert just can't do by themselves."

Klaus wouldn't admit to it, but Gilbert was trained to be a sort of nursemaid and a midwife. But otherwise, that was true. Neither of them could guarantee the health and safety of a smooth childbirth here at home. Though Klaus could absolutely hire a small staff, or ask his family given they would send a small squad of combat butlers and maids if he asked.

"Sadly, the whole process will be exhausting to both of us." The look of confusion on Emillina's face was palpable and adorable, "See, Papa was there beside me when you were born. And he wasn't very happy because giving birth is a painful process. And Papa doesn't like when people he cares about hurt."

Emillina's mouth formed a perfect 'O', "So I can see it happen too? When my little sibling is born."

Klaus finally spoke up, "No mein Shatzi. I'm afraid you're still too young to witness such a thing."

The tiny frown nearly broke Klaus's heart. But he wasn't the one to make the rules about this.

"Sweetie, Auntie K.K., and Uncle Steven will sit with you in the waiting room the whole time. Along with Mr. Gilbert." You patted her little head, "But after everything is all cleaned up, you can come in and see your little sibling. Okay?"

"Okay Momma."

Klaus very much wanted some kind of out of this situation. And realized the time.

"Pardon me Liebling." Klaus moved, standing up, "I do believe it's close to bedtime Shatzi. What story would you like me to read to you?"

You sat there, watching your husband tote your daughter off to her room. A tiny happy smile growing, scouring all those mommy blogs, and reading up on others' horror stories of having "the talk" with small children really paid off. Especially since you knew Klaus wouldn't be that prepared for the questions Emillina was bound to ask, particularly with you being pregnant.

#bbb #kekkai sensen #kkss #blood blockade battlefront #klaus von reinherz #ask