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longinglook · 4 years

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I’m replying to a bunch more wru asks under the cut, so if you’ve sent me one that I haven’t answered yet, it’s probably down here!

I don't know if it was on purpose but FTTT's story has been mostly character driven so far so the jealousy storyline they tried to push in the last minute is out of place. I also agree that there are most likely scenes missing after what happened in the first part of the episode. I can definitely tell that some things aren't going the way they planned and I'm not talking only about SaiZon but about all couples.

Yeah something was definitely missng there plot wise, and as you said I think the show had been mostly character driven and it was working fine like that. They tried to add drama for the sake of having drama in it and edned up ruining the characters they had so nicely built. The show has been all over the place this entire time, but corona must have really screwed things up for them at the end. Hopefully they do get to shoot some more material to fill the holes that were left. I’m still very doubtful we’ll get the apology scene that was very much needed there.

fighter getting drunk, seeing tutor with the kid and then going to tutor and breaking down crying would have had done the same for the story progression as whatever they tried to do today and it wouldn't have harmed the character development of either characters but considering the article i read about thai and rape culture in the media i'm not even surprised that someone thought this was a good idea

I agree 100%. I think that their whole reasoning behind it was to bring Fighter to some sort of “breaking point”, because apparently just seeing Tutor with someone else wouldn’t have done it. I hated that part as well, I don’t think Tutor would ever use someone to get back at Fighter or piss him off so I’m going to erase that from my memory as well. I think that Fighter breaking down could have easily been justified just by him getting drunk and going to Tutor’s to beg him to get back together. Once Tutor refuses, you have the whole scene where Fighter cries. No need for any of this manipulation and assault. Sadly it seems that the writers didn’t see a problem with it. They didn’t even have Tutor ask for an apology, they didn’t make Fighter provide one.

I can’t believe they thought this kind of behavior would make sense coming from Fighter. We’ve seen repeatedly how Fighter has had pretty good impulse control around Tutor, stopping when kisses get too intense because he doesn’t want to “break his promise”, so this was just so out of character. Let’s say he was blinded by jealousy and alcohol, the moment he snapped out of it he would have apologized for sure. The fact that he didn’t in my opinion shows that the writers don’t consider this to be a serious matter. It should have happened right after he stopped, still in that scene, so there is no excuse as to why it’s missing.

but this is exactly what i mean even if they are side characters there are side characters that are important because they are tied to the main characters and then there are just random side characters to fill space and to make the series look more alive but whyru just forgot about all of them. i mean a lot of things went wrong so i guess i will try not to be too harsh but i hope the director can do a better job next time.

For sure! If you’re going to have a ton of side characters, make sure you can handle them. Make sure they have a backstory and enough screen time for people to remember them, to show respect both for the audience and for the actors. The show didn’t go the way they were planning to, and hopefully they get the chance to reshoot and release a new cut over on netflix, but there is a lot of work to do and we just can’t be sure of what was due to covid and what was due to bad writing.

most of the mess in bl series could be avoided if they just consulted an actual lgbt+ representative. i know one person can't represent all of us but it's a start. or honestly any sane person could do it. also how many times have people complained about problematic plot elements like this before? and it's not just international fans i have seen many viral thai tweets as well. you would think someone who spends as much time on twitter as the director of whyru would know better.

I think someone from the crew ism’t straight? But yeah apparently that wasn’t enough. Up until yesterday the show had been doing a good job with this sort of issues, even in ep. 12 the conversation with Fighter’s father was excellent, but they really fucked everything up with part 1. In that case it’s not necessarily about lgbt+ rep, since that scene would have been just as awful with a straight couple, it’s about working with someone who is able to recognize assault and realize that it shouldn’t be treated that lightly, that these characters wouldn’t normally behave like that, and that an apology scene from Fighter would have been needed. I’m staying off of twitter for a while because I honestly can’t watch clips of this episode without feeling sick.

It broke my heart to see Fighter begging his father to be happy. No child should have to BEG their parents just to be happy. I'm a mom and if my daughter would stand bevor me and plead under tears that I should just let her be happy it would destroy me. But this jerk didn't show any reaction. I don't get how to be so cold-hearted. In particular, when he claims that he does everything only for his son. He is no father. He ist just a self centric, control freak with no affection

Hopefully that was the last we’ll ever see of him. I’m pretty sure Fighter is going to tell Tutor that his father had a change of heart or something. because Fighter’s words seemed to have an effect on him and he left without saying anything. Still, I completely understand what you’re saying. He went way too far with his control tendencies, he made both his son and Tutor suffer just because he wasn’t okay with Fighter living his life and being happy for once. I hope Fighter will truly be happy after this and his father will leave him alone and lean to be more accepting. If not, I’m sure that Tutor’s mom and sister are ready to dote on him like a second son.

so apparently the subs for fighter's text messages are completely wrong he doesn't say anything about the beach or zon he is telling him he left and that he hopes he will get better soon and that he is sorry if he made him feel uncomfortable. this is not a small mistake, this is a complete different translation like what the hell. i mean part one is still shit but it makes more sense and explains why tutor was crying after reading the last message.

Yeah I saw that! It looks like there was a second version that included those texts but got scrapped last second and they didn’t get around to editing the subs. I’m sure someone on twitter/youtube will upload a revisited version to fix where the subs were off throughout the episode.

Please tell me, i'm not the only one who felt it's gotten worse when tor replied his kiss. Just because he kissed tor softly didnt mean fight didnt force himself on tutor, right? I'm so afraid everyone will take his action as some kind of 'you said you didnt love him but actually you love him, right?'

Yeah no, it was still forced and non consensual. It started with Fighter physically dragging Tutor to the bedroom while Tutor struggled to get free and told him to stop, so basically everything that happened after was assault no matter what. Tutor barely kissed back, it might have been just out of habit, it does not mean he was okay with it. No matter how soft Fighter was kissing him, he was still holding him down and pushing him, so yeah. Not good. Tutor laying still was a way to show Fighter just how much NOT into it he was. He wasn’t reciprocating anything, he wasn’t responding to his touch, it’s the exact opposite of what we’ve seen in all their heated scenes. I can’t believe anyone could look at it and think that Tutor was okay with it. One thing I will say is that Tutor didn’t look too scared, he was more angry and frustrated. He was probably aware of how out of it Fighter was in that moment, and all it took to get him to stop was Tutor’s voice. The writers want us to feel like Tutor wasn’t that shaken by it because he still loves Fighter and he knows he was just reacting to seeing Tutor with his student, but it’s still really bad. The whole love thing, the I don’t love you anymore line, in my opinion it was meant as a lie to get Fighter to leave him alone and finalize this break up once and for all. I don’t think Tutor ever stopped loving Fighter, even in that moment.

I think they were trying to make the scene In P1 not look as bad as it is by confusing the viewers with Tutor kissing back and letting Fighter in the end but it still is what it is and then right after that they gave us the whole sentimental scene and Fighter crying I like that scene if only it did not start the way it did. And so they expected us to forget or turn a blind eye but I don't think it's gonna work for most people.

[read question above for the first part of the question]

I was definitely unable to properly enjoy that scene after the assault. I think it was an important scene, I liked the writing of it, I liked the flashbacks with the added frames revealing just how gone Fighter was for him since day one. It just didn’t have to be triggered by that. It could have easily existed on its own. I will not be able to rewatch it sadly, and I am so mad because I think Zee was at his best there. Incredible acting, too bad it had to follow that unforgivable scene. Even just a single apology could have made things better. It would have shown that the writers acknowledge how serious that was. But no, it happened and then it was brushed off, then why having it in the first place?

#ask #anonymous #meta

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elprupneerg · 5 years

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ok I know I made a ranty vent post about this yesterday but im still mad about it so im gonna make another one cuz maybe then I’ll finally calm down. im just......Really Fucking Tired of being misgendered every time I try to look for health information. like I’ll look for info on which brand of menstrual products is best or how to do a self exam for breast cancer and every. single. website/pamphlet/poster/blog post/whatever. says that its for women, that only women know the True Pain™ that comes with having these issues, that every woman has these things and that if you have these things youre a woman (which is especially funny/sad with breast cancer since amab people can get it too, but making it a (cis) Women Only™ issue means amab people (trans or cis) might not catch it as quickly because they dont know its possible for them to have breast cancer)

and as a genderqueer person im fucking exhausted. im not a fucking woman. ive never been a woman. I never will be a woman. even on my more feminine days im still not a woman and constantly getting called one is making it really fucking hard to watch out for my own health because often I cant even look for information without wanting to cry, nevermind actually going out and getting any tests done or buying menstrual products or anything.

and I cant even just look at info sets made by/for queer people, because not only are there fewer of those out there, but also even a lot of that stuff falls into the “vagina=woman, penis=man” trap.

and the worst part is, I cant even give any ideas of alternatives to man/woman people can use when talking about the health issues certain body types face, because every trans person is triggered by a different thing. so saying “please use male/female” might work for one person but make another person want to cry, and same goes for pretty much every other way of describing certain bodily differences. so even if I speak up and say “hey dont use man/woman for this”, I wouldn't be able to give anyone a suggestion of what to use instead without potentially making things bad for someone else. which means that I just dont really speak up about it. so instead all this anger builds up and I make ranty vent posts.

but yeah basically I wish people would remember that trans people exist when talking about health issues and also that there was a set of words that people could use to describe those issues that didnt trigger anyone

#menstruation #gender #genitals #ok to rb #sometimes I feel like im imagining this sort of thing or getting upset over nothing #do other people get upset about this too?

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shock · 6 years

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im still so upset over something that happened to me yesterday and i dont even know how to address it because i dont know how some people online just have zero concept of problem resolution and it’s so scary when all i want to know is the truth. like someone bombarded my inbox yesterday telling me to kill myself 20 times and i had no idea why, wouldnt tell me, then called me the n word and then called me a faggot, all because i didnt know someone i followed did something a year ago that i would have no way of knowing about... and then blamed it on their psychosis which is really shitty considering i have psychosis and through all of my breakdowns ive never called anyone slurs or flooded someone’s inbox telling someone to “kill yourself b-tch”. its especially painful because right now im struggling incredibly hard to not be suicidal and that just scared me so bad. all i wanted to know was why, i feel like it would be so much easier to cool off and then message someone a link to something someone did instead of going through that whole thing.

im also exhausted of people blaming their mental illnesses on things that are just so uneccessarily awful and triggering to people for no reason and then act like it’s fine and move on afterwards. i like to think i’m an open person who will absolutely listen to what someone has to say and see that someone i follow might not be a good person - im not online 24/7 and i dont obsessively check on people - and i’d like to know if someone was because i dont tolerate shit from people i follow if i see it.

and there’s a lot of pressure to be the “calm” party when people put you on the spot like that but idk i just dont feel like i deserve that. the person is a teenager so i would feel uncomfortable saying anything more to that person but i really dont think this has anything to do with a power imbalance of minor and adult because people who do that definitely wont grow up doing anything different but i just dont get how someones kneejerk response can just be to do that kind of thing. i dont understand how people think that solves anything, or educates anyone, or creates any safer communities.

#f slur -

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annak47hq · 5 years

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she will be loved’ anam

Who: Adam Levine and Anna Kendrick @alcvinehf

What: Its their one year anniversary, and while on vacation in florida adam has a little surprise pulled up his sleeve for anna.

Where: Orlando, Florida (some hotel)

When: March 22nd, 2019

Trigger Warnings: None

Mentions: Hailee Steinfeld @haizzsf

Anna: It was their one year Anniversary, and of course Adam surprised Anna by taking her on a trip to Universal Studios (again) in Orlando, Florida. Traveling has become one of her favorite things to do with her boyfriend, and the fact that they were celebrating their anniversary in Harry Potter World today, made everything all perfect. She loved him, God she was so in love with him. To be honest, Anna needed to remind herself to thank Brittany for inviting him to her party many years ago. They were strangers then, now they were parents to two perfect children, twins. Anna was happy, for the first time in a long time the actress was able to say that something, or well in this case someone other than her job made her really happy and Anna wasn't afraid to admit that. After getting back from exploring Harry Potter World, she and Adam headed back to the hotel they were staying at. Anna wanted to change into something a bit more fancy since she assumed they would be going out to dinner somewhere, once heading into the bathroom after grabbing her clothes, Anna changed into a silk blue dress and threw on her heels. She fixed her make up with red lipstick, mascara and left her hair how it was. Walking out of the bathroom, Anna noticed that the lights were off and there were light candles everywhere. Confused, Anna looked on the floor and saw "Will You Marry Me" was spelled out in pink flowers, Anna let out a breath and covered her mouth with her hands. "Adam..." She questioned, laughing nervously

Adam: Just a few short days after his birthday, Adam had surprised Anna with what he had up his sleeve. Dusty would be staying with his mom and Liza until Monday when she would be going back to Behati’s for the week, and Adam and Anna were off to Florida and Universal Studios to celebrate their anniversary. This wasn’t the only thing up his sleeve however, because once they had returned back to their hotel after exploring the parks along with Harry Potter World, Adam had gotten some help from the hotel staff while Anna was changing for what he had told her would be a dinner to end their anniversary. He was decorating the room instead, with rose petals and candles lit, and when Anna came out of the bathroom and saw flowers on the floor spelling out his question, he was there too, on his knee. Looking up at her, he’s biting his lower lip and letting out a nervous laugh of his own. “Anna...” He whispers, reaching his hand out for hers.

Anna: Had no idea what was going on, sure she read the question that was spelled out in beautiful flowers by candle light, but she and Adam haven't talked about marriage in a long time. Shocked, it was Anna's turn to bite down on her lips and the actress couldn't help but get choked up "Baby.." She said, and swallowed the lump in her throat. The tears were falling down her face, they were happy tears though as Anna noticed him on his knee holding a little box "Baby..." Was all she could say, smiling big while still standing there

Adam: The last time they had even talked about any sort of idea on marriage had been Valentine’s Day, but after that? After that, it had almost left Adam’s mind completely because of how busy he and Anna both became. She had given birth to their kids and was already back to work, and he was back to work too. As she comes closer and he watches her closely, he laughs a little once more but uses his hand to bring her in a little closer. “I...I know that this is going to sound super cliche and that you might...totally hate it,” He says, chuckling once more as his own voice cracks. “You...you are the love of my life. From the moment you walked into my life and to now, you have been. You...you make me better. I love how much you love me, and I love how much that you love Dusty like she’s your own, I...” He pauses, clearing his throat. “I really wasn’t going to do it this way, with the...over the top stuff because I know that’s not you and that’s not...the type of person you are.” He laughed a little, “I love you, though. I love you so much, you...you gave me /two/ beautiful babies and I can’t...I can’t imagine being with anyone else, so I...”

Anna: Anna was just in shock, she couldn't believe that this was happening. The last time someone asked to marry her, things didn't end well. This was different though, this felt different and Anna was so happy. As Adam brings her in a bit closer, Anna still had one had now covered over her mouth and her eyes were filled with water. Listening to him talk, Anna laughed a little and swallowed the lump that grew in her throat again. "I love you.., I love you so much." Anna said, now placing her hands on his face and kissing him, while pulling him up from his knees "Yes" He didnt even have to ask her, this was the man she wanted to marry. Anna loved him, she was so in love with him and he changed her for the better.

Adam: He had known about Ben, he had known all about Ben and how he asked Anna to marry him and that they had only been engaged for what was the short amount of time being two days or so. However, Adam loved Anna enough to put his trust into her that this would work out, that they /would/ be engaged and happy and then eventually married if they really wanted to be, because in the end, it was all up to the two of them. He wanted it, he wanted Anna to be his wife, he wanted to make Anna his wife, especially with the approval from Zac who had met a lot to Anna, that he had also known. “I...I love you, too...” Adam says, his own eyes welling up with tears now as he laughs a little and kisses her back as she pulls him up. He didn’t even get a chance to ask her the important question before she’s pulling him up from his knees, and he can’t help but to laugh again. “Will you marry me?” However, already knowing her answer, his smile is widening as he pulls her closer and laughs against her forehead as he kisses it gently. “Yeah? Yes, you will?”

Anna: She never thought that she would be proposed to again, let alone get pregnant and give birth to twins. Metting Adam, and falling in love with Adam was one of the best things she's ever done in her life. Sure it took a lot for them to get to this moment, but it was all worth it. Not even looking what the ring looked like, and not even caring Anna just had tears fall from her eyes. Hearing him tell her he loved her, Anna continued to kiss him and she laughed within the kiss "Yes. Yes I will marry you." Anna said, still holding onto her face and continued to kiss him. She closed her eyes however when he kissed her forehead, and Anna nodded "Yes. I will marry you, I love you. I love you so much." Anna kissed him once more, and smiled big. Finally looking at the ring, she bit her lips and swallowed hard.

Adam: She hadn’t even looked at the ring yet and that fact alone had caused Adam to laugh a little. Sure, yeah, the ring was just that, the ring, and it didn’t matter as much as her saying yes to the biggest question that he would probably ask her during their relationship was. Huge smile on his face now, Adam carefully wraps his arms around Anna and lets out a laugh, kissing her back as he spins her around and then places her back on the feet as she finally looks at the ring. “Hey,” He whispers, “You wanna know a secret about the ring?”

Anna: Officially looking at the ring, Anna couldn't help but let tears stream down her face. Sure the ring Ben proposed to her was beautiful, and was his great grandmothers but this ring, the ring Adam proposed to her with was perfect. It was exactly what she wanted, well not that she was looking, or maybe Anna was. Getting distracted by her thoughts, Anna bits her lips as he spins her around, the brunette laughs a little and then looks at him "There's a secret about the ring?" Anna questioned, kissing him back softly and pressing her forehead to his while holding his face now in her hands.

Adam: “There is a secret about the ring.” Adam laughed a little, and he kisses Anna’s cheek once more. When he had met up with Hailee two days ago, he had already put a big rush on the ring so he could pick it up yesterday morning before he and Anna left for Florida, and he was right. If anyone was to know anything about Anna’s taste in rings and what she would or wouldn’t like about them in some sort of capacity, it would have been Hailee. Looking at her now as he kisses her back, he lets out a small laugh. “Hailee,” He says, quietly. “Hailee helped me pick it out for you,”

Anna: As Adam told her that there's a secret about the ring, Anna raised her eyebrows at him while her arms were wrapped around his neck. Not sure weather or not to be nervous about this secret, Anna bit her lips and the moment he said Hailee, Anna smiled big "Hailee helped you pick it out?" She questioned, kissing him quickly and then pressed her forehead against his "It's perfect. It's beautiful. I love you, so much." Anna whispered, and kissed him once more "I can't wait to marry you."

&FINISHED

#/*paragraphs*/#/*please don't ever become a stranger: adam levine*/#/*nobody baby but you and me: adam levine*/#/*baby daddy: adam levine*/#/*adam levine*/#{chatzys}#{chatzy: 47}#ITS FINE IM FINE

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hoetron · 7 years

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okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all

c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy

d. GENDER: cis female hooooh

e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y

2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. red

13. yellow

14. either black or lavendar,,

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find

35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)

37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall

41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to

42. BLOODTYPE: shit i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)

43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle

45. ZODIAC: virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)

48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows

52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji

53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: OXYGEn

56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN

57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88 questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c

58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?

59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...

60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm

61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji )

62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji

81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess

85. ANGELS: not really lmao

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time

only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest

#raedy to talk shit #mattie #mothable #w e eps #this took fucking forever babes #LONG POST

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11toe11-blog · 4 years

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Golden eggs and things like that

Aum.

I enter gently to understand and illuminate. Guide me past temptations of power and greed into insight and wisdom.

___

The right shoulder feels heavy. So does the heart. The throat clenches a bit. The back of the neck is tight. I notice the breath and it deepens. Some previous walls seem less perceivable.

It feels like a time when some portals are active and lifetimes of memories are colliding for resolution.

Its impossible. No . it is only possible for us to continue on this if we are connected to our simplest, most essential..essence… Because thats what connects us. The narratives that run through us place us far far apart as the other.

L. Is that what triggered this? Or is something else?

It was my sisters birthday the day before. And the possibility of R having fallen sick and my not being able to tell anyone or ask for any support. And the whole family had gotten together, i felt no shared joy.

This combination of isolations are triggering memories. And in anticipating pain, i am acting out. Inviting it in. I can see that.

There are many things unresolved in my relationship with my sister. It is obvious. Cant deny it. Envy. Guilt. All of that. Unsure of how to relate. Disagreement. Power struggles.

Pain surfaces. No way out other than through it.

Memories of being bullied, of being the weird one, the feeling of being rejected after the birth of my sister. Maybe i harbored that somewhere, which is why i ended up treating her the way i did, even though i loved and continue to love her immensely.

Because i dont think i was competitive at all, not striving to be first in class or anything, till my sister was born. In my lower KG i was naturally bright. Shifting schools 1st and 2nd, i dont particularly remember much. I wasnt compared to anyone by mom. Dad was the comparer. Maybe he was compared.

I suppose 1st 2nd is when i began to experience social pressure. And with G, is probably when it got competitive. A fight for attention, is a fight for affection, which got worse, as the family’s financial and mental health plummeted. Physical abuse, sexual abuse..i notice that in this narrative I have used the word abuse..i am usually looking at it as an early sexual encounter. But which ever is the voice that is writing today feels like it was impacted by the incidents.. Everything coincided with the birth of my sister, now when i think back.

Shame and guilt hangs heavily on my shoulders. Like a cloak. I can feel it brushing against my arms.

It feels like there is nothing i can do but notice it. Very helpless. I dont want to be helpless. I straighten up and remind myself that - i dont have to make it go away. I have to notice it. When i want it to go away is when i become helpless. If my role is to observe it - i am doing it quite well, quite perfectly. *

I am reminded of K speaking about shame. I empathize in this moment.

When we feel we that we are not supposed to be feeling it, that i should have let it gone - its another round of failure to deal with. “ oh! I cant even let it go.” Another disappointment - like i had one job and i couldnt even do that.

But what if my job was not to let it go. And be all empowered?

What if my job was only to observe - understand this shame. Feel it, give it space and observe it? Not to change it. Polish it. Dress it up to look smart and suave. Cook it. Make it tasty. None of that. Just notice it, for as long as it is there.

Well that sounds like something ican do. Simply. Not easily maybe, but simply.

Not simply, maybe. But easily.

Much less scope for disappointment. And something i feel i ccan do, and i am doing quite decently.

Sudden spike in self worth

The sky is bright blue today.

I had noticed yesterday in the body scans, that when they ask me to feel line of the spine, and i cant or its dull in space. I force myself to imagine a line. Than notice what is already there. I force the imagination, somewhat guilty...not somewhat - just plain guilty that i am not feeling what i am supposed to be be feeling. That i should be doing work, i am being lazy thats why i am not perceiving it, all of that. Which may have part truths. But are Catch 22s. I cant notice the line ever unless i start with noticing what is already there. I cant notice what is already there because i feel i cant perceive the line i am supposed to be seeing. Supposed to! As opposed to what is. Can i notice what is already in my frame of vision as opposed to all that i al supposed to include. Please! Kindly!

Can i notice what is already in my frame of vision and deeply enough, that at somepoint, on its own, the rest of it will emerge.

I guess this is my biggest point of contention with L’s tone and kind of politics that is her work. Very “supposed to”. And hence all the more divisive. Not something one wants, particularly now. The invitation to deepen and acknowledge ones seeing, is welcome. To berate for what one doesn't see, is very 3rd grade damaging elementary school teacher in repeat.

Hence probably my general feeling towards her work. And somewhere definitely understanding that she is in her own process and will continue to grow and evolve and all that. But the screeches are not what i need right now.

Maybe they are.

And thats why they have shown up in my orbit. To engage with. I dont have to change the way i feel. So much pressure. Just knowing and noticing that this is how i feel is good enough.

To articulate it out aloud is the next step. Thats turning actor from observer. More like being actor and observer simultaneous. Thats the leap. Will happen when it has to.

No pressure to turn saint. No pressure to change a feeling. No pressure to change. Nothing. Just noticing what ever is , is the work. Where is then room for disappointment and low self worth?

A scene played exceptionally well. And a disaster of a scene are both well withing the frames of observation. And both make great viewing material for insight.

I know this. I have known this vantage.

“All the world is a stage”!

Yup.

Envy is my nemesis at this point. And every other thing is fuelling it one way or the other.

Watching Ka give a spellbinder was beautiful, at the same time pointed to personal inadequacies. G at home with Is for birthday underlined all the support she had and i dint. R inviting LP for a session meant he didn't see things the way i did and i had no ally, isolation. The idea of a session with LP translated to the whole giant suitcase of sibling rivalry being projected along side the bundle of political difference, and huge ego dents because i see my position to be far more nuanced, experienced and evolved compared to hers. Because we met once and she never connected back since - strong feeling of rejection- and a reinforcement of sibling rivalry. Trust R to throw a deep one.

All this is just from my vantage.

Who knows how things are looking from hers. Or R’s. Or G’s. Or V’s.

I like the guy. For the brief moments that we have had an exchange i feel he understands. Like R says, living with the person might be an entirely different ball game. And it is true, the complexity of these things. But the few moments of understanding is all one needs. Just the golden egg. No need to cut open the Goose.

That seems to be where R and I are. We cant seem to understand where the Golden eggs have disappeared. And we are cutting open each other to find out where they are hiding. We were after all promised a steady supply of Golden eggs. Unlike the fabled farmer, we didnt cut open the goose. We just bet on it, hedged it. Like many large scale farmers engage with the money economy today. Sell the produce even before sowing. Heding. Put a chip in, and try and turn every goose there is into a Golden egg laying Goose.

Can we stop cutting and slicing things open, please. Can we just watch the clouds?

Sounds like something a Goose would write.

Who is there to forgive me? Relsolve this? For the mean thoughts, the harsh words, the attempts to manipulate. I forgive myself?

Ho oponopono says i can. And i must.

I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

Thank you fro letting me enter. ANd for the insights. I close the door gently behing me to come back another day.

0 notes

ilygsd · 6 years

Text

110918

the only reason i even like this ugly fkn cunt is because we’re so similar. or at least were, he’s grown a bit more than me so i obviously appreciate his help and experience and knowlege or whatever.

but fuck him in the fucking asshole, not only is he a white man, not only does he get triggered by ”i hate whites/men” and ”ppl listen to u cus ur a white man” and takes it SUPER PERSONALLY and accuse me of fucking attacking him and shit. hes acting like a fucking dick when we’re fighting and the thing is……. HE REFUSES to admit when i say we’re similar in the way we fight??? he’s like ”no, im not” and im like YES BITCH YOU ARE YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CHILD

he’s so fucking aggressive, manipulative, guilt tripping and just…. COLD. i swear what the fuck is wrong with him? i’ve met him 3 times, and we’ve fought 2 times. ive known him for like 2 weeks and we’ve already had 2 major fights??

the only reason im not fucking murdering him on the spot is because 1. im not a fucking idiot. i know my limits. i CANT control him, i CANT manipulate him. i dont have any power over him and 2. i fucking like him?? if i dont apologize he’s going to go on for fucking ever and eternity??? i like him and im actually genuinely sorry that he’s hurt even if he’s a fucking pussy who got triggered over smth as petty

like excuse ME!! the way he fights is REALLY triggering for me??? the first time i was terrified. it was like flashbacks and shit i cried for a whole day and i hadn’t even met him back then. i was SO SCARED and SO SHOCKED. because IT IS I who usually have his position. it is I who usually put people in their places, NOT the other way around. i HATE being scolded, feeling like a worthless little piece of shit

i knew that i should’ve blocked his ass because that can really be SO damaging to me. also there’s a risk im goong to explode as well and we’re just gonna trigger each other and fight to death…. but i didnt because i was too god damn curious of what he had to offer. is it really possible for me to be happy as well? is it really possible for me to heal and grow like him? ERHM well obviously he’s not in his ”complete form” yet, fucking psycho when he get angry, but he’s pretty happy and kind and positive generally

i worried so much about me draining him with my anxiety and issues but he said he wouldnt let me drain him. he said he always put himself first and the he basically would leave if i try to pull anything on him. why the fuck did i even worry about him when he’s trying to manipulate and guilt trip me?? I AM SO PISSED. HE REALLY TRIED TO DO THAT THAT STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.

during our first fight it worked because i was SO SHOCKED, as i said. and i was SCARED. but fuck him in the asshole he really- he really tried to FUCKING DO THAT TO ME

he accuses me of being disrespectful of his limits when he goes fucking bananas, everythings happening so fast i cant even process what just happen, i dont even have the time to apologize cus hes all over and everywhere. and he’s so fucking threatening. he’s like ”if you dont…..” and he doesnt realize what the fuck he’s doing?? i apologize because 1. i hate these fights and 2. i like him i dont want to hurt him but he’s like ”i have nothing to apologize for”

STUPID FUCKING CUNTBAG YOUR UGLY TECHNIQUES ARE WAY OVER MY LIMITS, YOURE DISRESPECTING ME 101919X MORE THAN I EVER DISREPSEXTED U BY CALLING U A WHITE MAN.

(also can we talk abt how this motherfucker understabds that whites and men are privileged but he still doesnt get why reverse oppression isnt a thing and that it is GROUPS that are privileged and NOT individuals??? like he’s that fucking dumb)

that shit actually HURT!!!! i think he’s really immature during fights, i think he’s really fucking pathetic and i’m glad i’ve come to that conclusion rather than beating myself up. yes, i now understand that this is probably what it feels like for the counterpart when im fighting with them and im fuckig sorry that im acting like this psycho

BUT!!!!!! what really HURT was that he HONESTLY TRIED TO MANIPULATE ME. if i hadn’t called his ass out this time he would have gotten away with it AGAIN

bitch, he’s fucking 23 years old. he’s 4 years older than me. he also KNOWS!!!!!! i have a stupid crush on him and he STILL!!!!! TRIED TO GUILT TRIP ME, TRIED TO MAKE ME OBEY AND SUBMIT TO HIM, GET DOWN ON MY KNEES AND BEG

im so pissed and a part of me wish i would just have exploded but i couldnt because it was fucking 1 am and my family was asleep and i couldnt fucking shout at someone over the phone. also it actually made me feel a bit superior and mature when i was all calm and he still was upset (even though he wouldnt admit it, stupid proud brat. his voice changes distinctly). okay YES, i MAY have patronized him a little but also NOT!!! i was just really tired and sad and i still liked him so like….. i was just upset and trying to calm him down

its kind of hilarious how i had to tell him to stop sounding so aggressive and he was like ”im not” and i was like ”yes you are” and so he actually KIND OF stopped and it was easier to talk to him. wow i feel so powerful lmao. omg in really not any better than him am i? i know im not because no matter how much he denies it…….. im literally exactly the same when i fight 😔😔 i tell myself i wasnt like that because i didnt WANT to, because i want to be MATURE but a part of me honestly thinks its just me knowing my place. i like him more than the likes me, he can use that to his advantage, there was no reason or possibility for me to dominate him.

im still very pissed though and just because i like him i still REFUSE to follow him like a little puppy. ive been so worried ALL this time that i wouldnt be able to keep up with him intellectually, that he was too good for me, too smart and too kind. PFFFFFFFT!!! im sorry but i swear i was just idealizing him or smth. its his fucking voice and scent, its like a drug it makes me all calm and dizzy but objectively…. dont fucking let him manipulate you. if he ever makes you feel like yo should apologize and that tou did wrong, ask yourself WHY. an east escape is not the right answer. call him the fuck out. i think and hope he avtually would appreciate it as well……. even though he’s so fucking stubborn and proud OMG HES SO PROUD I CANT, I AM PROUD TOO BUT NOT TO HIM. or maybe a little since i now refuse to fucking message him, maybe a little bit manipulative but no, im still mad, the way he acted lady night was fucked up. why does he have to be so proud with ME???? is it because he doesnt feel as emotionally connected to me as i do? yeah probably

that stupid motherufcker…. when i told him ”instead of threatening me that you’re gonna hung up if i dont ’respect’ aka BEHAVE accordingly…. you could just say ’hey im not comfortable talking right now, i need to hung up’ AND HE WAS LIKE ”but we’re not that close-/but we’re not that emotionally-” or something like that and i was like……. is this dipshit clown really serious?? ”uhhh its more like COMMON SENSE AND RESPECT” and he was like ”yeah maybe…” YEAH MAYBE? NO YOU KNOW IM FUCKING RIGHT

god that piece of shit really thinks he has me wrapped around his finger or something. im attracted to him but what he doesnt understand is that he’s still a plain white man. he had NO IDEA how much im controlling myself by even letting myself fall for a white man. does he really think he can like…. i sont know?? i fucking asked him. because i said ”i dont demand or threaten you” and he was like yeah i know. and i was like woahhh…. wait a second….. ”do you think i dont because i like you? do you think i would just follow you whatever?” and he was like ”im not gonna answer that”

oh my god he really thought didnt he. stupid ass white boy really thought i would choose him over myself or any of my siblings of color. smh poor jack.

im going nuts. okay…. if he EVER pulls something like this again i wont be so sure i’ll be able to handle this on a mature level. the worst thing is though that i HAVE TO. because even when i DO, he’s so fucking ptronizing. like te WHITE MAN just jumped out???? if i were to lose my shit……. ITS SI FRUSTRATING AND ITS EXACTLY WHY I CANT BE WITH A WHITE MAN. i was avtually very fucking calm and he STILL managed to make me feel like i was the ”bad guy”.

ughhhh im fucking insane. this…… whatever the fuck our relationship is cus this boy is apprently only interested in me what the fuck that now even means?? okay so we can like hang out and be physical and cuddle and shit but we’re not a couple and its NOT limited to being exclusively us. apparebtly i should still feel flattered though?? cus he doesnt find anyone attractive and he needs some sort of chemistry??? im sorry boy but i am NOT flattered. you do you, i get it, it takes time for you to fall in love with someone but im obviously still much more emotionally invested. that not your fault. thats my problem. my abandonment and attatchment issues. honestly im so fucked i cant even differ my feelings. my feelings for him are strong but idk what they are. some days i feel like platonic friendship, other days an older brother, a romantic partner and sometimes even a dad/parental figure. like im that fucked up i just need a STRONG BOND i dont care what

i low key hate myself for how i ended the call yesterday. thanks to that, now i cant bring this up again. its too late. the fight is ”over”. i was like ”i still like u bye goodnight sweet dreams�� but now im like ”i hate u ugly bitch”.

god my head

#diary #jo

0 notes

furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog · 6 years

Text

How to get a good quote for my car insurance?

"How to get a good quote for my car insurance?

basically, i've got 1 year no claims with direct line car insurance for the past year( only 1 year driving experience). i was paying 85 for fully comprehensive, and was 24years old when applied for the insurance. i just received a letter from direct line for my renewal, and now it's gone up to 109. i was wondering what might cause it to increase, and if now am over 25years should i really inform them (if it's gonna make a difference). is it advisable to switch to another company for maybe cheaper deals?! p.s i have a vauxhall calibra year 1995

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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im 18 yrs old i have a provisional and my brother is takeing me out in his car im just woundering do i need to be on his insurane on his car cos he said thta all i need is L plates and my provisional i just want to make sure thanks ps can u reply asap he taking me out today in his car for the first time

NY parked car accident insurance laws.?

Some guy hit my car while it was parked in the road. He knocked on the door and gave me his insurance policy and other information. I live in Rochester, NY and my insurance provider is AIG. If i file a claim, who's insurance pays for the damages (new fender and door)? Will there be a deductible on my part? Will my premiums go up? Doesn't NY have some stupid no-fault law? Or should i just make him pay for everything out of pocket?""

How to get a cheap car insurance for young driver?

Do I have to have my own insurance?

I live in Washington state and I am 16. I turn 17 in February. I have my own car but it is under my dads name because I am not old enough to have a car under my name. I can get my license in march. Once I do can I still drive it with my parents insurance on it or do I have to have my own insurance? Thanks!

Unfair car insurance?

My car was very old but in excellent working order. It has been written off in an accident that was not my fault. The insurance company will only pay me what it's worth, about 150. To get a reasonable second hand replacement will cost much more than this, and I cannot afford it. So I now have no car and cannot afford a replacement. Over the last few years I've paid thousands for insurance. Can the company do this, i.e not pay for an equivalent replacement, but pay what they think it's worth.""

""3-car accident, what will insurance do?""

I was in a 3 car accident, I was the middle car. It's stop and go traffic at a red light, the line is backed up a good way, and the person in front of me stops. I stop behind them, but the man behind me doesn't stop. He hits me and pushes my car into her car. His car seems to be flawless, the vehicle he knocked me into also seems unharmed, maybe a scratch on the bumper (it was like a jeep or explorer, so my car went up under hers a little) and the front of my car is a little messed up. The police will file an accident report, but while I wait, what can I expect? I'm expecting his insurance to cover the repairs to my car, because this was in no way my responsibility, he hit me into her, I was more or less a ragdoll vehicle. Yes, I hit her, but it's not because I'm a bad driver, I cannot control being hit into another vehicle during a line at a red light. And though it was never mentioned (I was a little shaken, my mind wasn't clear), I am almost certain he was on his phone because he was looking down and doing something when I looked back after he hit me. It's too late to mention that, but yeah. Got the registration and insurance for it 3 hours before I wrecked. Had the car a week.""

Acura RSX or Toyota Celica. only have 8 grand to spend

which will have cheaper insurance, is faster, can be modified more""

How can i get cheap car insurance?

is there anyway i could reduce my insurance costs

Best way to grass without any comeback on stepson whose put our address for cheaper car insurance?

License/Insurance question?

I have my permit and will be getting my license soon but I wanted to know after getting your driver's license do you automatically have to get insurance, or do you only need to get insurance if you have are driving someone's car.""

Does anyone know of any ortho dental insurance (cheap or reasonable) in Texas? ?

I need braces... I have Blue Cross Insurance but ortho isnt incuded in my plan. I am with Blue Cross through my job. I am so upset! I need this done. Or is there a place where I can get them for really cheap? (Braces)? Thanx for your help.

Will Hillary Clinton universal health care program force all Americans to pay for health insurance?

How will those who are unemployed pay for health insurance under her plan?

Are classic cars cheap to insure?

for example all cars older then 1990: trans am and camaro's older then cadillac eldorado's older then rolls royce silver shadow chevy belair dodge charger chevrolet suburban mercedes 500sel mercedes 500sl and other american and classic european cars

Insurance related question to a 1987 5.7L IROCZ?

Hello I am 17 years old and have saved up enough money to buy a 1987 IROC-Z with 350TPI, 140K. Now when I purchased the vehicle a year ago I could afford to insure it but was to young to drive. I was supposed to get my G2 permit in August. I've already prepared it for the road for the but I am in Ontario and the driving strike is still going on. And to top that off, insurance companies raised their prices! I can no long afford to insure the car when spring rolls around. My mom made a good good...why not insure the car under HER name at a DIFFERENT insurance company, and put me as a secondary driver? That way I can enjoy the great prices and hell I bet she can have some fun driving this car. The car would not be insured itself, it will only be insured incase I hit someone and damage them. Would this affect her insurance rate at her other main company( 2 cars,house,boat)? Thanks!""

Car insurance!!?

i finally got my license , my dad is giving me his car and he has insurance but my name is not on the policy. can i still drive. Im leaving for vacation in two weeks so putting my name on the policy will just cost money for just two weeks. i won't be back for three months from vacation.""

How to get a good quote for my car insurance?

Average car insurance cost for a 21yr old?

driving for over a year, with just a small car, any ideas? Cheers""

What is the best life insurance policy for people 65?

need life insurance

""I have the title to and own my car, does ohio still require that i carry state minimum insurance?

i heard on a radio show that if you had the title to your car you don't need to have collision or comprehensive insurance

Car Insurance Question?

I am filling out paperwork for an insurance quote. I wanted to know if the lock/unlock/panicbutton key lock device considered an anti theft device? I would also appreciate if any one could recommend any car insurance agencies. Thank you.

What is the most reputable homeowners insurance company to use in Florida?

Car wreck insurance question ?

I was involved in an accident.The other driver was found to be at fault and cited a ticket.His insurance company has told me my car is totaled.The frame is not bent.I feel my car can be fixed.I received a letter from his insurance company stating that they will not pay for the towing bill and after the 23rd would not pay for the storage bill because my car is considered to be totaled.The accident or crash report just came out yesterday it pointed out all the facts about the accident .The other driver is at fault.I asked them today what they were going to do they said they are still investigating the accident and were not going to make any decisions.How can they send me a letter about towing and storage and not have given me any check for my vehicle or made an offer or anything and then tell me they are still investigating the crash.How should i approach this whole thing ?

I have a question about car insurance?

Okay I get my license on Monday but i don't have insurance yet due to my grades but does that mean i cant not drive a car that has insurance like my parents cars??? Thanks I really need an answer

Lady friend totaled my car... How will my insurance go about covering things?

My friend borrowed my car & crashed into someone. She totaled my car (I got the car 6 months ago & I have $8150 worth of payments left on it) & did about $2000 worth of damage to the other car... She was in the hospital for 3 nights HOWEVER I believe she was kept for that long because of some other health issue she was having that was not caused by the accident. She's NOT going to pursue my insurance for medical coverage. She does not have a vehicle or vehicle or vehicle insurance. The other driver was not admitted to the hospital, I don't believe. We have the same insurance company. My friend was 4 times the legal alcohol limit when she was checked at the hospital following being taken there in an ambulance; however she was never checked by a police officer & issued a DUI. She was only issued a ticket for rear ending another vehicle... It goes without saying I am furious with her. I don't believe we will be in too much contact from this point forward unless everything works out good with this situation. Do I have much to worry about the hospital checking her BAC? I have heard that the only way the insurance company will find out all that is if it's in the police report. How will things be handled? I will sue my friend as a last resort; however she has NOTHING literally. I live in Florida.""

What kind of insurance do i need to get a license in California?

what do i need to get and how do i get it if my parents do not want to put me under there policy and i do not own a car myself. and i am also looking for the cheapest possible insurance

Has anyone used comparisons.org for auto insurance?

i'm looking for cheap insurance and don't know if i can trust them. any suggestion from anyone?

How much money would I get back on insurance if my car is worth $3000?

I recently totaled my car...just wanted a rough estimate on how much the insurance check might be. 1998 Mazda 626 dx/es manual 129000 miles

""What is the best, cheapest insurance for a newly liscenced 18 year old driver?""

also a full-time college student (dorming), part-time weekend job making about 600/month.""

Does residency matter in determining auto insurance for a college student?

I'm a current college student in the middle of transferring schools and getting a new insurance policy. I have two schools in mind, one is 5 minutes from home in a suburban neighborhood and the other is 200 miles away in an urban city environment. Depending on where I attend, will this affect my new insurance policy? Will living at home going to school close-by have a lower insurance rate than going to school outta town and living by myself?""

Senior life services insurance company?

Has anyone ever dealt with senior life services insurance company, and if so , Good Or bad results. Some insight please?""

""Just got a quote for 10,000 for my car insurance?!?!?""

i was getting a quote from comparison websites and the cheapest quote i received was 10,000. i also put my mother on the policy who has over 25 years driving experience and also switched to third party. what else could i do to lower the insurance costs.. im buying an audi a3 but is there any other way i could lower the insurance, thanks everyone""

What is the best company for cheap car insurance?

I am doing my lessons, I am a 19 year old female and a mother of 1. I have just bought a renault clio 1.4 and need to get the cheapest possible insurance. To start i need insurance so that i can drive with someone in the car on my provisional but i also need quotes on how much it will cost me when i have past my test.""

Is selling life insurance a lucrative job?

I am tired of all the jobs I've ever had!!!! I don't have a career and have been asked if I'd like to sell life insurance. It's for a good, and well known company and it isn't cold selling or telemarketing. Is it worth doing? How annoying are life insurance sales people? (i've never liked them), but people do need it. tell me what you think. I'd appreciate it.""

What is the best way a low income student can get health insurance?

Again, low income and can't rely on parents and how could I get retro coverage for an emergency bill a month ago. Currently uninsured, only insurrance is car insurrance.""

What is the average cost of car insurance for teens?

Hi my name is Evelyn and Im planning on getting my car soon. It'll be an old used car. Im a girl. 16 years old. 3.5 or higher gpa. possibly 3.75. Im wondering what the cost for insurance will be when I get the car. I am also currently taking drivers ed in school but have not completed the coarse yet. Does that matter? or should I get the insurance after finishing the class for the discount?

Im 18 with no no claims need fast car low insurance group!?

im 18 (just) been drivin a year on mums policy no smashes no points no nothing i just sold my car and i been looking at honda crx's insurance turned round and said NO!!! grrr kill them. but yeah i got 1.5k to spend on a decent car with low insurance group? any ideas? cant really find a website that compares speed and insurance group, any ideas welcome thanks in advance!!!""

How much a month would car insurance be for a 2010 dodge charger? Im about to turn 18 and plan on getting this?

car. I know it depends on where u live etc..but i want to know the average cost per month of this particular car. I'm going to be joining the marines..idk if this matters but most places offer a military discount. So any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

What if i stop paying my insurance when i have a car loan?

i am leasing a new car, been paying for 3 years and this month i couldn't afford insurance so i stopped driving and started bike riding. well the insurance was cancelled for like 2 ...show more""

Car Insurance different address than car registered address?

Hi, I have insured my car on my friend's address because his postcode turns out to be very cheap for my premiums. My car and Driving Licence are registered on my home address but when I buy insurance on my home address it goes double. Do you think insuring my car on different address is wrong? What if I get my car registered on to my friends address same as my insurance policy? Would that be safe and legal? Please help me in clearing the confusion and doubt.""

Where do I get insurance if I am a driving instructor?

Can you have a 'black mark' against you for car insurance?

I'm 20 years old, and because of the stupidly hiked insurance prices I got into riding motorbikes as a way of getting around. I now commute around 20,000 miles a year and the weather is really getting to me. I love riding but forced riding is different. Last year I was insured on a cbr 600 (2000 model) for 1200 a year TPFT, and this year part ex'd it for a Suzuki Bandit (2008) which is around 700 a year. Both bikes are 0 no claims as I've never kept a bike long enough to accumulate any. Now I understand cars are bigger and cause more damage etc, but bikes are quick, really quick, but how can insurers justify the stupidly high priced insurance for me on a car? Minimum 2500 a year!? My brother has a ford fiesta, an old old G red model, hes 2 years younger than me, and has always wanted to drive so he's spent ages saving and working towards getting a car. Come his insurace quote, and they're asking for 1200 a year TPFT. The EXACT same details, address etc, just with my name, age, and job (electronics technician) I'm looking at around 3000 a year, same company, no change. Its really getting to me now. I have to convictions, no speeding penalties, nothing. I've lead life so far getting involved in zero trouble, I do things by the book. So I'm beginning to wonder what's up. My insurance prices are always double or more that of my families and friends cars, and coming up to winter, I really don't want to risk loosing my job a second year running because its too dangerous to venture out in the snow by bike (hourly paid, high staff turnover.) I'd really appreciate any tips or advice anyone has, I've tried independent companies (phoning or internet), comparison websites, I've tried many many different models of cars, from boy racer cars, to a Diahatsu, I've gone through the ABI database looking at the exact insurance group for a car and then trying it. I've exhausted almost every option I can think of. I really really want to drive a car.""

How to get a good quote for my car insurance?

Is there any insurance companies that will insure after a fire claim?

me and my family had a fire in july of 2008 and our homeowners insurance dropped us after the claim was over. now we are having major difficulty obtaining homeowners insurance. is there anybody that knows of a insurance company that takes people with these issues? we also live in indiana

How Much To Insure My Bmw 318 I Se Auto?

Hi, I just passed my test a month ago and im 19 i just bought my first car the BMW 318 I Se Auto 1.8 litres and was wondering how much it would cost to insure this car and if there was any way i could get a cheap deal from anywhere, like traders insurance. please help! finding insurance is doing my head in :| Nd Yh im In The Uk :)""

Car accident and insurance?

My friend's car got hit from behind on the freeway and she only got libilities so her insurance doesn't pay to fix her car. The guy who hit her is a teen and his insurance is under his mom's name. His insurance is paying only $10,000 maxium. The cost for total fixing is going to be $13,561. My friend can't pay the difference of $3,561. Now what can she do? Is that the responsiblity of the guy who hit her? should he be the one to come up with the rest of the money? or is she out of luck? The car is in the collision center now. She's losing sleep and having headaches and sore neck, etc.. and missing work... and she still hasn't go see a doctor. Any advice for this poor girl?""

""Car accident, neither driver has insurance?""

Was in a car accident yesterday. The other driver was completly at fault. He gave me insurance info, but has just informed me he was dropped due to lack of payment or something. I also have no insurance. YES, I KNOW ITS ILLEGAL TO DRIVE WITHOUT INSURANCE. IF THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY MOVE PAST MY QUESTION!! What am I suppose to do? Do I need to try and get a lawyer and sue? My car was totalled,my hip is in a lot of pain, so is my bfs shoulder n back. The other driver is fine and had very minimal damage. Im at a loss, any advice would be.greatly appreciated""

Sued for Auto Accident Above Insurance Limit in NJ?

One year ago my wife was taking our daughter to pre-school turning left out the end of our road in to traffic, this road has a speed limit of 35 mph. Traffic had to stop to let her cross the first lane since it was solid cars, vans and small trucks. As she approached half-way, before getting a good view of oncoming traffic, another car took off the front bumper. Note that the center line is interuppted at the cross-junction. The bumper was torn from the front of the car with damage more evident on the non-impact side of the car than where initially hit, hence my wife had not initiated a turn, just edging forward to see. The radiator was in-tact, but damaged, still mounted to the front of the car. I walked to the site with our other child and took my daughter home; she is fine and I took her to school but still talks of the incident today. My wife stayed at the incident, and was fine (no later issues) keeping real calm and cooperating with police. It took about 2 hrs with police debating which town the incident took place (middle of the road is the divide) and the other driver was concerned about getting home to take a pot off the stove, but seemed medically fine. The driver asked me and the police to drive them home to get the pot off the stove and used my wifes cell phone more than once. They also wanted to drive their car home and leave the scene with a flat tire at one point I presume to attend to the pot. No tickets were issued, no air bags deployed. The other car had a flat front left tire and side damage so the drivers door was stuck shut. Both cars were old, so written off. Over a year later we received a court summons from their attorney and we are being sued for $750,000. Our limit is $100,000 on insurance. The plaintiff is claiming herniated discs and loss of bowel control. We have a 2006 no money down mortgage, so total equity is very much in the red since our home value plummeted. I have no umbrella policy. I am sole income, but was owner of the car my wife was driving. My wife is stay-at-home mom. The remaining $650,000 would be a big problem. Interestingly, we heard that the other driver called our insurance and asked for a >100-fold lower amount of money to just go away! Our insurer recalls this very clearly and did not pay. Questions: Should I invest in an attorney to work with our insurers attorney to cover the $650K over our limit? Do we have any case given the car the other driver may have been in a rush (as all were aware of the pot on the stove), would have settled for far less, and in reported safety tests should avoid an obstacle at 55mph let alone at the speed limit of 35 mph? Their case, as I understand, is to actually prove my wife was negligent, she was just trying to see. Reality and the law are complicated I understand. Our insurer is looking in to the validity of their medical claims. I believe for spinal and neck injuries plaintiffs have to follow careful insurance approved treatment plans in NJ. I know that such a condition may not be permanent with curative surgery possible to release the nerves that may be causing the bowel issue. The plaintiff has claimed the injury as permanent, do they need to prove this? Should we ask experts? The plaintiff lives in our town and their house is on my running route every other day. I have not noted anything at all and plan to stay away from all other parties. Should I change my running route? Thanks for any advice. Our 30 day clock is ticking.""

Do I have to be on my parent's car insurance to drive my car in Florida?

I'm a little confused because my dad says I don't have to because *only* the car needs insurance. But then why are people on insurance lists for cars?

Vehicle damaged..have ? about insurance?

A tree fell on my vehicle during Hurricane Ike. My husband thinks there may be at least $10000 worth of damage to it. I looked it up on kelly blue book and its only worth approx 9000.00. I tried trading it in a few weeks ago and they only wanted to give me $5000, I'm glad I didn't take that one. I purchased the GAP insurance thru the dealership. Do you think Allstate will just total it and let the GAP insurance pay the balance of my loan. I'm really really upside down. It really looks cosmetic to me but there are things hanging underneath it and it is very hard to drive. I think it would be cheaper for the insurance company to total it and let GAP take the rest. How does that work?""

How much does the car really influence the insurance premium?

I never had an accident, or points on my license. Would my insurance really go up if i were to trade a beetle in for a convertible eclipse (used, an 03)? I've always heard the sporty the car the higher the insurance, but is that true?""

Car Insurance question!?

ill be 16 years old. I'm getting a 1986-1988 Pontiac Trans Am. Very good responsible driver. so, would car insurance be a lot of money??? What would be a good and cheap company to go with??? name brands please (state farm, All state, 21st Century, ext.)""

Is it worth getting full comp insurance if your car is only cheap?

Car insurance?

I have only liability insurance. If I rented a car will liability only insurance cover the car if I got in an accident or do I need to have full coverage?

What is an insurance premium?

Is the insurance premium what you pay monthly for your insurance?

Cheapest car insurance?

I'm trying to insure my first car. It's a Rover Metro SI 1.4 auto. I'm 20 years old + am still driving on a provisional lisense. I've held this lisense for 1 year. I'd do around 5000 miles a year when I pass + want third party as the car is only worth 350. I'm also a lady as I know that makes some insurers cheaper. I've tried moneysupermarket.com + confused.com + Quinn comes up the cheapest with a deposit of 109 + then 10 months at 43. However both sites have a big list of insurers that they could not provide quotes for. Does anyone know, or is anyone with a cheaper insurer than Quinn Direct? I live in England, so no American insurers thanks :)""

Gerber life insurance company?

is this even worth doing has anyone ever done this...i need feed back and ideas i have a one year old little boy and i want him to have something to fall back on when he gets older, weather its college or whatever The insurance says they can cash it out for the premium. So should i sign up or just get him a savings account?""

Health insurance question?

i am going to see a doctor tomorrow for something that has been bothering me for 2 years but ive only had my insurance for 1 year but before i had my insurance i did not see a doctor for the problem i had.... so what im asking is if i tell her i have been having the problem for 2 years will my insurance not pay for it since they consider that preexisting even though i have never seen a doctor for it before my insurance i have bluecross blueshield ppo plan

Insurance question?

has anyone been or is currently pregnant and without insurance? I see that it's possible to get individual insurance with a maternity package, has anyone applied for any of these? Does anyone have any experience in this situation?""

Car Insurance approximation...?

I would like to know approximately how much it would cost to insure a 2009 Nissan Altima Hybrid, 4 doors, 2.5, 15,000km, I am 59 years of age, live in the Quebec Penninsula Area. One driver only, for leisure purposes""

Has anyone had to reimburse your employer for health insurance?

my job comes with insurance i recently had to have surgery and was off work for a few weeks and now i have to repay them because i am not there to work and they want me to pay them back . i went with out pay as well is this normal??

Would vehicle wrapping my car a different colour effect insurance cost much / at all?

Hi I work at a vehicle graphics / signs company Weve had an idea that my car would look amazing in a different colour and we can get the wrapping material in cheap. So it will be about 40x cheaper than spraying. I have also seen a carbon wrapped golf the other day and it was perfect. Only question is if i was to make the colour change ( car doesnt usually come in this colour) would it make the insurance cost go up much or at all? Also same with alloy wheel spraying? Many Thanks

""How much would insurance cost for a 23 year old with a $1,500 car in florida?""

Assuming the car is fully paid for, how much would insurance cost on a rather cheap ($1,500) car in Florida for a 23 year old with a spotless record. If an exact amount is too hard to find, a ballpark estimate would help.""

My car no longer runs. Should I cancel my insurance on it?

My friend suggestted that it might not be wise, because when I get another car in 5 months they will charge me more for insurance if I was not insured for a long period of time. His logic was that it's a red flag to insurance co. They think you were driving without insurance or totaled your car. Even though my car just died on it's own.""

Best dental insurance?

I need dental insurance for my 5 year old son and maybe myself also. Doe's anyone know the best plan to go with? Thanks alot

How much does the home owners insurance cost in south florida coral springs?

i am thinking of buying a single familyhome in coral springs zip code 33063 how much does the home owners insurance cost in south florida coral springs area

Does anyone know the car insurance laws in new york state?

Ok. I am seventeen years old and i want to get my drivers liscense but my parents wont let me because they wont pay for my car insurance. Does anyone know the laws for underage drivers for car insurance? I would be driving one of their cars and i wouldnt have one of my own. If you can site a source, it'd be great cause then i could show it to them. thanks.""

What does it mean when a person put you under their car insurance?

im getting my own car and my brother in law said that he would put me under his car insurance what does this mean? does it mean i will be having my car under his insurance with the same policy and i will be paying the same amount as he is or does it mean that i would be having my own insurance policy and i would bee paying a whole different amount?

How to get a good quote for my car insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-would-good-cheap-insure-reliable-car-17-year-old-barry-noble"

0 notes

manders583 · 7 years

Text

I been thinking... like always.

I always say that to me there are no such things as flaws... they are traits. The 2 things I hate about me the most and always have hated is my anger and my abandonment issue. I hate it so much because my anger I genetically get from my father and my abandonment issue is because of my father. He has really mentally fucked me up AND he is the reason why I have Bipolar 2. This combo is horrible. Do you know how hard it is to control my moods!!!

Since 7th grade I have been working on myself. I have said this in the past but I have been depressed since than all the way up till.... idk a year and a half ago. Dont get me wrong I do slip but how I handle it is SOOOO much better. I been working so hard on myself because I don’t want to be him. I never grew up with him and barely ever talked to him YET I am his twin. I am genetically like him. It makes me hate myself. I am not always a angry person, it actually takes a lot of it to come out ESPECIALLY to the people I love like who im dating... well its kinda only them. They are the only people I don’t get mad at and can take A LOT to make me snap and the reason for that is I can never hurt someone I love, the thought of it kills me.

Last year when I got my surgery done 2 days after he came to my house to visit me... and he had blood all on his pants. He literally got so mad at his wife that he DESTROYED his house. Threw chairs into the walls, left holes, bloodied his knuckles. His anger is way worse than mine but I used to be like that. Till I controlled it. Not only was he like that he insulted me saying why its taking me so long to graduate because its expensive and I should of just went to a cheaper school and I slowly got up since I couldn’t cause of surgery and went up stairs and cried.

Yesterday when I finally talked to my ex, WHICH I WAS RIGHT THAT WE NEEDED TO TALK (you need to start listening to me more), and it got to the point where I asked why don’t you like me anymore and its mainly do to my anger and being so pushy to talk, I almost cried. My heart snapped. I knew I was already like my dad because of my anger but not its legit the 2 things I hate most about me that I been trying so damn hard to control. I never in my life wanted to yell at her, ever! She is the one person I always said I would take the blame to keep peace with because to me she has always been worth it. I rather just suck it up and apologize to her than fight and argue and yell. This time I couldn’t do it. Between her anger for the past month and her not listening to me or believing me at times I snapped so hard and she got the nice end of it too because normally I am worse. When I get ignored its such a huge trigger to my anger and I always tell people to not ignore me! I warn everyone! I like to talk things out too so when that doesn’t happen not only do I get mad but than my anxiety kicks in and my abandonment issue everything just goes together. Ignoring people never solves anything. At least say “I am pissed right now let me cool off and talk to you tomorrow” like why cant people do that... Why cant I do that! Its so simple and my therapist told me to do that a year ago. Me and my ex were both so angry, it was both of our faults and honestly anger was not faltering on her either. I mean I wont lie she is mad sexy when angry at other people but when angry at me I hated it! It was a huge turn off to be ignored and yelled at even when I wasn’t even yelling or anything.

I never meant to be so pushy but I had so many fears. My abandonment issue is due to the fact that my father was in and out of my life over 10 times. From birth up to 3rd grade he has left me... literally almost all 10 times and my parents got a divorce when I was in 1st grade... When I went to spend time with my father at his new GF place, cause he cheated, I was always placed in the basement to play Spyro, or they gave me legos. He never spent time with me. I have a memory where we went to walmart and his gf had 3 or 4 older kids in their teens, he bought them stuff but wouldn’t buy me anything. When I needed a new bike he wanted to give me one of the girls old bikes to me than just buy me one. He also kept vanishing than coming back. Eventually I had enough and I was either in 2nd or 3rd grade I told my mom I don’t want to see him anymore because I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I haven’t seen him from 3rd grade all the way up to my senior year in h.s. he randomly showed up at a volleyball game.

When I date someone, this is why I give them my full attention, this is why I try so damn hard because my father never tried. He never made an effort he just left! I told myself I will never just leave and I will try. If you are worth it I will try so hard and it comes off as being pushy. I wish I had someone making that great of an effort for me but everyone just leaves. I get pushy and I cant do space when in arguments or being ignored because I am scared they wont come back. I am scared they wont make that effort. I am scared for another person that I love to just vanish and not try especially when they mean the world to me.... like my ex.

I honestly never feel worth it, no one tries and when people see my value it means nothing. People chase the toxic people that they shouldn’t have instead of the person right in front of them thats worth gold. I am very rare, I am not perfect but god will I do anything for you if I love you. When it comes to my ex it sucks because we were so damn good for each other and still are.

I get so pissed off about the fact that so many people lied to me and the one person who didnt was my ex. Because of all those people and well the fact my ex ignored me, we had so much more anger that was not necessary. Obviously not all my actions were okay. She is right, I shouldnt of went to her ex without know ing the truth but I also shouldnt of been ignored.

The thought of all this pushing us further away and more into the friendzone actually kills me. People at work always say how cute we are, how happy we made each other, people thought we would be together for a long time and so did I. When I try to ignore all this anger and hate and miscommunication that has happened and I remember her for her, I just, idk nothing changes. I still love who she is and I always knew who she was. I miss what we were. It gave me a lot of strength, I felt like a power couple. Sometimes I get convinced that shes my other half lol! The way our life lines up is just so weird. I always thought that and this time I meant it. When I look at her I literally see warmth, I see bright colors. We have the weirdest things happen to us at the same time and the fact that we are so alike but so different in all the right ways. idk maybe I am thinking too much and I can easily let the bad go and remember how my heart originally felt months ago. I can easily rebuild but shes the type who runs when she gets hurt or runs when she gets scared. Idk what it is about her, maybe its just I love her soul too much, I love how she made me feel, maybe its because I can easily let down my walls but sadly she cant and I wish she could. Also shes so damn stubborn!

A year and a half ago my other ex and I broke up and we got into a huge fight cause she was fucking crazy and I snapped, and I didnt hold back because I was tired of her lies and manipulation. At the end of the conversation she goes “good luck finding a GF when you act like that” and right now it has been echoing in my head. Because she is right.... I lost someone special because of my anger, because I slipped. How can anyone love me. I feel like no one can handle my 2 flaws. I feel like no one can even understand them! If you can understand it, it wont bother you as much, you will hurt but you will understand. Like when my recent ex bailed on me 4 times before we even hung out I understood, I was so hurt and I cried but I understood because I know how anxiety works and I knew she felt bad. I want people to understand me! I want people to know I never mean anything in a bad way, I am working on myself, and sometimes I need help. I just dont want someone to leave me because I slipped. I can handle space when nothing is wrong, I can handle my ex having her own time or a girls night or w.e. but when its space because she is mad, or ignoring me I freak out because I get scared, I dont want her to leave or vanish like my father did. I just want to talk it out and considering I am a Libra thats very rare.

I just hate myself I hate how all this happened!!! I hate how something amazing was ruined! I always think well what if this didnt happen what if she didnt still love her ex when we dated what if she finally got over her and we got back together because we are so amazing and god we look so cute together. I hate the what ifs but damn she literally is the only person that I would go back to even after all this shit! Because I know who she is and I love all those small things about her. I mean I literally know her better than she knows herself and I love everything... except the ignoring! That I can do without.

I just hate all this and I hate how other people could of ruined our chances and I hate how I slipped. Now I just look like a dumb asshole who yells a lot and will push u around. Thats the last thing I want to do and honestly because of my flaws this is why I didnt want children of my own. I dont want them to be like me or my father. People have no idea how much these flaws bother me. I am just ready to cry because it harmed someone I love so much and did damage. Thats the last thing I wanted with us.

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