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7wanderingpaws · 4 years

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Simply, yours (12)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: family AU, hapkido teacher AU, PhD AU

Word count: 3.5K

Warnings: mentions of death, cursing

A/N: a moodboard! Yay! Finally some face to the story ^^ in my head baek looks like on the pics in this one hihi. Couple of more interesting things will happen! Aaaand this series will finish by 15th chapter. Or less. I will see how much time I will have. :( Anyway, thank you all sososososooo much for the support and comments, it means THE WORLD! ❤

tags: @milky-baek @itsbaekhyunsbutt @luvhtears @shesdreaminginoverdose @cynthbee @jummyjammy @junmyeonnoona @littleflowercrown13 @sebootyforlife (if you want to be tagged/untagged please let me know!)

MASTERLIST

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12

Baekhyun was stressed. That much you could tell.

The competition between the universities was in couple of days and he-

“Chanyeol, I can't hang out! I still didn't hand in my paper on the sports psychology thing and I have to head to uni in a couple for the training!”

You were in the kitchen, trying to bake some muffins since you were craving like a mad man, and you could hear him pacing around the bedroom where he bunked the whole day to finish off the mentioned paper. He had been a bit distant since the past three-four days, and you gave him his space, knowing he wasn't taking any silly things from anyone right now. He was full on focused and, well, quite biting to whomever tried to help.

He sighed again. “Listen, I know we still have time to hand it in, but I am so busy with the university team that I need to finish it earlier. Fuck, the assistant master is also breathing on my neck. You need to understa-”

He went quiet when Chanyeol interrupted him, and you silently continued separating the dough to the empty holes on the baking pan.

It had now been two weeks since the Korean New Year and another check-up at the clinic, after which you started to attend pilates classes for the expecting women. You had classes two times per week in the evening hours and one of them clashed with Baekhyun's hapkido class at the university, so you weren't accompanying him that often anymore, which was also a small relief for you. As much as your presence there didn't change matters, you felt like a bothersome girlfriend that needed to keep an eye on him, which was not true. Let alone Jiyoung, although had not necessarily done anything, still made you uneasy with her straight-forward behaviour with Baekhyun. You trusted him, though. After the Korean New Year, you got rid of the whole jealousy nonsense and focused solely on yourself and your own peace of mind. After all, it was literally a matter of a few months and your life would become loud, tiring and just overall turnt upside down.

“And you know I've got other stuff to get taken care of.” Silence. “You know what I'm talking about.” You giggled to yourself, liking how Baekhyun was losing his cool with his best friend, not paying attention to the meaning of his words.

You placed the baking pan in the oven and set up the temperature and timer, finally standing up properly, and hissing at the pain in your lower back.

These days, whenever you looked in the mirror at your tummy and the dark stretch marks, you couldn't help but wonder how was this humanly possible; to bear three kids in your own body, in that little place under your heart. It blew your mind, and usually you would end up talking about this with Baekhyun just before sleeping when the lights were out and you were curled up at his side.

“Just proves how fucking amazing you are, my love,” he would murmur in your ear.

You smiled to yourself, your heart fluttering at the recollection and you sat down, checking your phone. A new customer who was buying your knitted clothings, was supposed to come by any minute now, so you might as well rest till she arrived, and let Baekhyun deal with his own issues.

You found a message from the lady waiting for you, so you opened it quickly, thinking she might have cancelled on you.

Hello! I was supposed to pick up the ordered knits today, but I can't make it unfortunately, so my husband will come at the promised time instead! Thank you!

Okay, at least she didn't cancel. You didn't care who would come for them as long as they were taken and paid for.

“Okay, Chanyeol, I will meet you tomorrow,” Baekhyun finally ended the call after more discussion and then you heard another heavy sigh. It caused pain for you too, knowing you couldn't help and you also didn't have a constant, stable pay so that you could ease it up for him just a little bit. Great at uselessne- no. You wouldn't allow yourself those thoughts anymore.

“Babe, you good?” you shouted.

“Yeah.”

“Doesn't sound very convincing,” you muttered to yourself, just when the doorbell rang. You struggled up to your feet and headed for the intercom, letting the person in.

“That's the customer, right?” asked Baekhyun from the bedroom.

You made your way to the door, the little bag with necessary clothes prepared, as you shouted back a yes before sliding the door open and waiting for the person to leave the elevator.

You were excited to earn money like this, even if it was just a little bit. You could shop groceries with it and Korea did have expensive fruit and veggies, unfortunately, so this came extremely handy to you.

Quickly shooting a look behind you, you double-checked if everything looked decent and clean in the apartment before turning back just to get the biggest shock.

Without even thinking, you had the urge to slam the door shut in his face before he could properly orient himself on the new floor of apartments, but you didn't do it. Instead, you ran your tongue over your teeth, preparing for a painful smile.

He turned and he spotted you - he just looked at your stomach - standing in the doorway, ready to walk to you resolutely before he actually brought his eyes up to yours. And he momentarily froze, stopping on the spot.

Silence overtook the cold corridor, and you felt the stress creeping up in your stomach, except you had nothing to fear this time. It was him who wanted something. And Baekhyun was right in the apartment in case anything happened.

“I believe you came to pick up the knits?” Your voice was almost foreign to you, it was strained so much.

His eyes fell lower, seeing just how pregnant you were; your body a far cry from when he last saw you. Clearing his throat, he replied: “Yes, I am.”

Slowly, he walked over and you pushed your hand with the bag out for him to take, wanting him to just leave. “Here. That will be 120.000 won, please.”

Your ex-boss stared at you, not taking the bag for a couple of heartbeats. He monitored your face before his eyes looked behind you at the humble apartment. Only after that, he took it while with his other hand he reached behind taking out his wallet probably from the pockets of his trousers. “Yes, I have the exact amount.”

“Good.”

He snapped his eyes back to you, as he took out the necessary cash before handing it to you. “How are you?”

Oh, dear lord. Not the small talk, please.

“I mean, are you doing well and healthy?”

You stared at him, hoping the negative emotions didn't mirror in your eyes too much, as you didnt want to become someone like him. “I'm fine and healthy, thank you for asking.”

“That's a relief.”

Suppressing a scoff, you were about to put an end to this fruitless conversation when you heard shuffling from behind, and Baekhyun's voice. “Is everything alright?” And he appeared.

He walked to your side, shock evident on his face. “You?”

You felt a protective hand around your waist, your boyfriend pushing you further inside the house, not liking an inch your evil boss being near your vicinity.

Your boss, Mr Kim, gave him a tight lipped smile. “Hello, Mr Byun. My wife is the one buying the knits from your wif- girlfriend.”

“Really?”

You nodded. “She wrote me just a couple of minutes ago that her husband would pick them up instead of her,” you explained to Baekhyun, who didn't even look at you, his strict gaze focused on your boss, “and it turns out to be Mr Kim. There are too many Kims in this country, for sure.”

“Well, we hope your wife will enjoy them,” said Baekhyun coldly. “Have a good evening.”

He was about to push both of you back inside to close the door, but your boss surprised you. Again. “I just wanted to… wish you all the best. I hope you will continue having a safe pregnancy and birth.”

You frowned, but nodded nonetheless. “Thank you.”

“And… I apologise.”

Baekhyun's grip on you tightened. “For what exactly?”

Mr Kim looked in your eyes as he seemed to think over his words. “I was acting unprofessional and it was not acceptable. Me sacking you due to your state was not justifiable, and I realize that I probably created even bigger financial difficulties for you. You always mentioned how money comes in handy and yet…” he shook his head, scrunching his eyebrows, “it was all a terrible mistake. I was insensitive. I apologise.”

You took in a shaky breath, your palms sweaty with anxiety as you let his words properly sink in. He actually uttered those words. Those apologetic words. The words you never imagined he would say, because you believed he was incapable of feeling anything close to regret and sorrow.

Sensing your hesitation, Baekhyun spoke up. “I think it's too late for that. But thank you. I bet my girlfriend appreciates your realizations.”

“Why suddenly?” You asked before Baekhyun could push you further inside the apartment. “I worked so hard for you. I always tried to please you yet I received hate.”

Something flashed in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite name. Was it hurt? Was it sorrow? Pain? “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I was ruthless, but just know that I am sorry.” He looked at Baekhyun now. “I deserved the punch.” With a sad smile, he raised and dangled the bag in front of him as he took a step back. “I’m sure my grandchildren will love this. And my wife too. All the best,” he said and turned around, not letting you and Baekhyun speak.

And you wouldn’t even be able to, because Baekhyun closed the door right after muttering: “Get home safely.”

“What was that?” You asked, shell-shocked at the sudden turn of events. “Did this really happen?”

You were still squeezing the bank notes in your sweaty palms and you moved to put them on the dining table, Baekhyun hot on your heels. “He is crazy. One moment he is shouting at you, calling you all kinds of things and the next he is sorry and acts like…whatever” he trailed off, in the heat of a moment unable to think of a proper word.

You shot him a look, amused. “I know. But at least he realized his mistake.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips, not fully convinced with your words but eventually he murmured: “At least if some other employee gets pregnant he won’t throw her out.”

You smiled, satisfied with his way of thinking. “Exactly.”

“And you earned yourself some money,” he reciprocated the smile and he came to you to give you a kiss on the cheek. “Well done.”

“I’ve been earning money through this for some time now,” you reminded him.

“I know but it’s his money.”

“Oh.”

“Exactly.”

Once the muffins were out of the oven, you decided to call Sukyeong. Baekhyun retrieved to your shared bedroom to continue his studying. He needed the peace anyway, and you really wanted to chat to your good friend because you had way too many thoughts and questions about your ex-boss’s well being. The way he acted was so unlike him.

Sukyeong thankfully picked up after the third ring and she squealed into the phone upon seeing your name. “Finally! I thought you would never call! We saw each other two weeks ago, don't tell me you got suddenly busy!”

You let out a breathy laugh. “No, I became lazy and almost immobile by now, thank you for the concerns.”

“I think I will have to drop by more often,” she thought out loud. “Besides, I also want to talk about something!”

“Eh? What is it?”

“Nah, this needs to be told face to face.”

Since your topic seemed to be just a little bit more intriguing than Sukyeong’s secretiveness, you decided to go with it and spill the beans. You quickly explained to her what just happened, feeling more encouraged by her gasps.

“Well, there is something that happened actually,” she said after a bit of silence. After you left your job, you and Sukyeong rarely ever talked about the workplace, Sukyeong only complaining about the workload and whatnot. She was such a kind-hearted, considerate friend to you; she knew by default the last person you want to talk about was your screwed up boss. “I just didn't know if I should tell you or not, since it doesn't really include you anymore and also…” she trailed off, “it might scare you.”

You frowned, fingering the little whole in the pillow you were hugging to yourself. “Scare me? What are you talking about?” you let out a doubtful laugh.

Sukyeon sighed and you imagined her playing with her fringe to ease up the nerves. “You know his son is married, right?”

“Mhm.” You rarely paid attention to your boss's private life but you were aware of that fact.

“So, anyway, Mr Kim's daughter-in-law was pregnant and she was supposed to give birth just one month after you left,” she continued on, her words still not bearing an ounce of confidence.

You interrupted her, though. “Oh, really? So why didn't he fire his daughter-in-law, huh?! How dare she be pregnant?! God, that man is ridiculous, I swear. Poor daughter-in-law! How difficult it must be for her to live with him!”

“Erm,” Sukyeong gently called out your name, trying to get your attention, which she did but you wished she didn't as her next words gave you the nausea you had been dreading to have your entire pregnancy. “She died giving birth.”

You went completely silent at that, your mind empty and busy all at the same time. His daughter-in-law died giving birth to his grandchild. She died. Giving birth. “How did that happen?” you breathed out.

“Complications during birth. Unexpected high blood pressure, high sugar levels and many other factors,” she replied, her voice sad.

“Jesus,” you breathed out again, “I had no clue.”

“You couldn't have known, dear.”

Tears burned in your eyes at the thought of how tragic the whole story is. So this was why he was apologetic. “But still… I'm so sorry. To her, and even to him - Mr Kim.”

Sukyeong heaved out a heavy sigh. “Don't cry, I cannot comfort you over the phone like this. You wouldn't know!”

“What if I will die?”

“You won't,” she snapped right away. “You are a healthy woman.”

“You know my blood-pressure is also dangerously high at times.”

“But that doesn't change the fact that you are healthy. You don't have problems with your sugar levels, nor is your entire pregnancy problematic.” She paused, before she continued. “Listen, this is why I was reluctant to tell you. I didn't want to trigger any fear in you. Just don't think about it.”

You felt your chin quiver, but you pushed it down. Sukyeong was right. Plus, Baekhyun really didn't need this kind of stress when he already had too much on his plate right now. Having to suck it up and be brave for your own self for once was something you should have started doing a while ago. You always knew pregnancy was a risk. But you wanted to show everyone that not having enough money and still bearing three healthy babies and eventually giving them birth was something more valuable than any monetary aspect of this world.

“You are right, Sukyeonga. I won't. But you owe me a hot chocolate.”

It was around 1am. You were lying on your side, naked back facing Baekhyun as he absentmindedly traced his fingertips over the imprints on your back, left there by your bra. He was shuffling around more, until he resolved to skinship in hopes to ease his mind.

“What's on your mind?” you asked quietly out of nowhere, startling him for a second. He thought you would be asleep by now.

You turned around to your other side, curling up against his chest and he gladly opened his arms for you, missing your presence. It was common that you two would naturally shift apart during the night, both of you deep in sleep, but because of your pregnancy you also felt many times boiling hot which resulted in you scooting as far away from his body heat as the mattress allowed. This time though, the night was exceptionally cold and you knew he needed you.

“Baby, you should be resting,” he rasped quietly.

You held his cheek gently, looking up at him, although he couldn't see you properly in the darkness. “There is something bothering my man,” you whispered, “and I can't sleep when I know you are this troubled.”

He sighed, and you could feel the heaviness of it, the worries somehow too difficult to bear. “It's just a lot on my plate,” he admitted, though very reluctantly. “I want our team to win or at least make it very far but I'm worried I am asking for too much.” His hand was caressing your back, enjoying the hot skin covering it.

“What makes you think that?”

He went silent, contemplating your question and his answer to it. The truth was, Baekhyun's head was very chaotic which rarely happened. Him, who always had a goal clearly set in his mind, never got this worried. “I don't even know. It's the PhD stuff together with this Universiad competition… both require my full attention and even though I am doing my best, I feel like I could still do better.”

It meant a lot that he was this outspoken. He shared his daily issues with you, however only the heavy ones he would let pile up and mull over them until he couldn't bear it anymore.

“My perfectionist boy,” you cooed. “Everything is created in your mind, darling. Everything is still the same as before - you are a student and as your side job you teach kids. Your team was always doing well and that's why you got this opportunity. In fact, you don't need to change anything. You have addition of Jiyoung and her team, that's true, but that still doesn't change the fact that what you did until now is enough. It is all valuable. You're not asking for too much, Baekhyun.”

A couple of heartbeats later you heard him sigh again as he squeezed your body to his, your tummy pressing to his side. “Thank you,” he murmured into your hair.

“Don't keep it in. I know it's difficult. I know, honey.”

“I just want to do well, you know? Do well in my professional life. And I want to do everything in my power to make you and our kids live comfortably.”

You felt stinging behind your eyes, touched and overwhelmed with emotions. “You are doing more than enough, Baekhyun. I'm comfortable and happy because I have you. Out of our entire village, you are the superstar. You are the one who made it. Don't doubt yourself for one second, because I will love you no matter what. You are doing already more than enough, so relax.”

He chuckled lowly. “What would I do without you, hm?” he whispered and he moved to bury his face in your neck, slowly kissing down to your chest where he rested his head under your collarbones. His arm around you was now caressing the bump, his thumb running over the stretched out belly. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Don't thank me.That's what I'm here for. For you. In good and in bad,” you replied as you played with his messy hair.

“Already doing the wedding vows?”

You grew hot, the sudden images of a wedding ceremony with Baekhyun warming your heart. “Not yet.”

He hummed. “But soon.”

“After the kids are born.”

“Where do you want to leave them for our honeymoon? They would be always tied to your boobs. That way I can't have them just for myself.”

That made you laugh out loud, and you pulled on his hair gently, making him chuckle. He raised his head and you felt his breath on your smiling lips. “Then you better enjoy them until you can.”

He kissed you slowly, languidly, humming in the process while dragging his hand over your bump and chest until he was cupping your cheek. “I should, huh,” he murmured into your open mouth. “Though I beg for priority. I was the first to claim them.”

You laughed again and Baekhyun felt extremely satisfied, his worries settled for now. He brought you in for another sensual kiss until both of your eyes were droopy enough to pull to sleep.

#baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun au #baekhyun scenario #exo fanfiction #exo fluff #exo smut #mywritings

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formerlyrunephoenix6769 · 5 years

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Catra: Journey to Redemption.

(Long post and spoilers for Season 1 SPOP)

In the run up to the release of ‘She-Ra: Princesses of Power.’ season 2 on April 26th 2019, I have been seeing lots of posts about our resident, ‘misguided; villain and all around badass who knows damn well how to rock a suit.

Yes, of course, I am talking about Catra!

The nature of the posts I have been seeing have all had a similar vein or sentiment.

“Give Catra her redemption arc.” or “Start Catra’s redemption arc.”

I am just as hopeful as the the next person for Catra to have a redemption arc, if that is in fact what Noelle Stevenson and the rest of the team have planned for the character. But one thing I will say, is ‘patience’ and a small warning to be prepared,

Catra is going to get much worse before she can even begin to get better!

Catra could not possibly even begin to start on a path of redemption by the end of S2 because at the end of S1, she hasnt even begun to explore the full depths of her villainy. (Being we dont know exactly how many seasons are planned, or what the overall narrative end goal is when it comes to the final conflict and Good triumphing over Evil, much of this is speculative.

We can however use Avatar Last Airbender and the industry standard of best Redemption Arc ever, in all mediums, Zuko, and their timeline, which I think Noelle Stevenson said in an interview that if a redemption arc was to occur, that they would like to do something that could stand next to Zuko’s redemption arc.

I will also be using Joseph Campbell’s Hero With a Thousand Faces, and his hero’s journey map as a resource but try implement it for villains)

If you would like to take a look at my thoughts on redemption arcs in general the feel free to check out the link below.

https://formerlyrunephoenix6769.tumblr.com/post/182640410231/are-all-villains-redeemable

I’ll be covering similar sentiments here.

Ok first.

TIMELINE:.

ATLAB is only 3 BOOKs long, however the number of episodes, 61 over all, containing 20 minimum in each Book is far more than SPOP’s standard 13, meaning that technically Zuko’s redemption arc played out over just under 6 SPOP seasons, meaning that Zuko’s penultimate episodes, detrimental to his redemption arc, ‘Blue Spirit’ episode 13 in Book 1 and ‘Zuko Alone’ Episode 7 of Book 2, didnt technically take place until till the end of season 1 and half way through season 3 ... going off an SPOP standard time.

Meaning there was over a season and a half between Zuko doing something right for the wrong reasons and also then moving off to really begin the start of his redemption arc in earnest, which he continues to struggle with right the way into Book 3 ( season 5/6)

The difference here, I would also like to point out is that Zuko at the very beginning of ATLAB is already technically way ahead of Catra due to him being physically away from his ‘abuser’ and direct control of the life long indoctrination. He also has one up on Catra at this point as he has a ‘Mentor/Guide’ helping to facilitate the transition and help him see the error of his ways.

Technically, this puts Zuko’s character development on the road to redemption (OTRTR) at least ONE season ahead of Catra. Meaning that his moment of ‘doing something right for the wrong reasons’ in ‘Zuko Alone.’ does not take place until at least the end of season 2, SPOP standard time!

In other words...

It's going to take some time for a pussy riot to manifest.

Taking this into account.

SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES.

We can not continue without addressing the fact that there are many similarities and differences between the supposed ‘villains’.

Both were the Scape Goat to a favoured Golden Child yet their interactions with the ‘Gold Child’ are vastly different.

For Zuko, Azula was an antagonist. For Catra, Adora was an ally.

Both suffered abuse from their primary caregiver, both were belittled and chastised for supposedly being ‘lesser’. However the fundamental difference is their reactions, Zuko continued to attempt to receive his Father’s favour, whilst Catra, on the surface didn't care, resulting in acting rebelliously.

Both have issues surrounding self worth and how they express it is vastly different.

Zuko is hugely unaware of his ‘Empire’s’ indoctrination and the imperialistic rule, believing the propaganda he was raised with.

Whilst Catra is fully aware of the Horde and its intentions.

And I think this is worthy of note!

Their ‘villainy’ and motivations are seated in entirely different places.

Zuko starts out wishing to ‘reclaim his honour’, prove his worth in his father’s eyes, and reclaim his birthright as the heir to the Fire Nation throne, in the words of his sister,

It is only as he travels over the next SPOP SDT, 4 seasons that he realises his true purpose.

Catra, is aware the Horde is evil, is given an opportunity to leave, but chooses not to, instead she willingly sets herself on a dark path to gain power and prove her self worth to everyone around her, esp her abuser, step mom of the year, Shadow Weaver,

Thus setting up the whole shenanigans of SPOP season 1.

CONFLICT.

As I covered in my previous post in the link above, a redemption arc cannot occur without showing that the ‘villain’ is conflicted.

A redemption should be a slow burn, from starting point of why/how they are villains, also showing the seeds of discontent, inner conflict, conflict of their actions, conflict of their ideals, whether indoctrinated/learned/or their own misguided musings, then later a larger amount of focus should be placed on how they have overcome that villainy and change of perspective culminating with coming full circle.

What makes Zuko’s particular redemption arc so good is the work that goes into showing this. The time, the attention to detail, not being shied away from by the writers, that intentionally trickles down and infuses with the character’s essence of being.

Yes, Catra is conflicted about her relationship with Adora and what Adora means to her.

This conflict about her and Adora’s relationship was partially resolved with Catra taking Adora’s motivations the wrong way, due to her own issues surrounding her self worth.

This ‘resolution’ only serves to push Catra further down the a dark path.

But we have yet to see Catra conflicted about her actions and dont expect to see that happen until after we see her fully embrace her villainy, which by the end of S1, she was nowhere near close to doing. (See Triggers and Turning points)

Meaning that “Catra Alone” might not even occur until midway S3 and actual beginnings of feeling conflicted about her actions, until S4.

TRIGGER A TURNING POINT.

So we have discussed conflict. Conflict about ones actions can come about in many different forms, but it must be triggered by something that is enough to shake the core foundations of a villains motivations.

In order for it to be believable and carry weight, a villain cannot suddenly overnight go,

And the protagonists accept it at face value, as the audience wont.

A redemption should be a slow burn, from starting point of why/how they are villains and most importantly, focus on how they have struggled to overcome that villainy and change their perspective.

The link below is to a previous post, with an avenue of thought of what could trigger Catra on ONRTR.

https://formerlyrunephoenix6769.tumblr.com/post/182601000156/catra-could-she-be-a-lost-princess-and-if-so

Another avenue of thought is that Adora is gravely injured. I am not normally one for such an easy and over done trope but in this instance it is highly possible, because as it stands now, Catra has never nastily physically injured Adora, only She-Ra!

(When she raked her darn claws down She-Ra’s back. Showing that Catra see’s a difference between to two personalities and isn't as of yet willing to cross that line... Maybe crossing that line will be a stepping stone to embracing her chosen darker path?)

In fact, Catra has gone out of her way to avoid just that, much preferring to go after Adora emotionally.

FALLING INTO OLD PATTERNS:

Even after ‘Zuko Alone’ and the Ba Sing Say arc, Zuko begins on a false start redemption by bonding with Katara but by the next episode falls back into old patterns by choosing to side with Azula as the ties that bind and the potential to reclaim his birthright is too hard to ignore.

Which is totally normal for a teenager.

This adds so much depth to his inner conflict, a catalyst that later cements his realisation at his true purpose, ushering him through the gates of his redemption arc, towards trying to make amends with the protagonists before they can accept him.

Catra strikes me as someone who will never be wholly ‘good’, in the sense of the word when it is applied to Bow, Glimmer or Adora, but rather someone who will make super dark comments and morally grey suggestions of how to deal with an issue, which is what we have been shown of her from the very beginning.

It is hard to say is Catra will ever have this step in a redemption arc due to her already morally grey nature, this could very well be skipped over entirely.

Narratively speaking and characterization wise, this particular part of an arc could present itself not as a ‘false start’ but could come from ‘Subterfuge and infiltration’ , whereby Catra pretends to come to their side only for her to betray them later, for her own ends.

OR,

We could very well have a ‘false start’, where she is trapped with any of the protagonists and they need to work together to escape, similar to the aptly named ATLAB ep 40 ‘The Crossroads of Destiny’ and SPOPS s1e9 ‘Promise’, which would be a nice mirror, from a narrative standpoint, only for her to run off and return to the Horde once free.

Again note, that this false start occured for Zuko the very end of S3 SPOP SDT.

CONCLUSIONS.

Before Catra’s Redemption arc can come to fruition , we need her to go on her journey. Something akin to this, but for villains.

On this map, if Resurrection is Catra being genuinely accepted by the protagonists as being changed and truly on their side. I would see Catra as in between Meeting of Mentor (Hordak) and Crossing the Threshold into full blown villany

So, we need to see her,

1) Become a true villain.

2) 1st Trigger.

3) baby Conflict

4)False start, falling into old patterns

5) 2nd Trigger

6)Conflict and Realisation/ (Seizing the Treasure)

7) Through the Gates

8) Trial of Proof.

9) Acceptance/Resurrection.

We could be waiting for some time for a Catra redemption arc to kick in, and please dont be disappointed or frothing at the mouth if we dont see it starting in Season 2... No matter how much you want it out of the way so that ‘other’ things can occur..

Please keep in mind..

A good Redemption Arc has to be earned! And doing it well takes time!

MEANWHILE ...

There is ALL OF THIS....

I dont even know where to begin starting to unwrap all this tension and awkwardness.,

Think I’m going to leave that for a an entirely different post.

#spop #redemption arc analysis #character analysis #avatar last airbender #catadora #catra #adora #glimmer #bow #zuko #atlab #prince zuko #catra redemption arc #formerlyrunephoenix spop analysis #long post

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the-little-red-noodle · 6 years

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10/11/18 7:47

okay, lets talk.

Ive had an emotional 24 hours. I’ve been anxious, i’ve been insecure, i’ve been angry and sad and hurt and manic and crazy and i need to get it out so i can fucking cleanse and move into my weekend.

It started with spencer, what like, 2 nights ago now? i dont remember when it was, but i was getting insecure and noticing how i was affecting him. it was yesterday, cuz it was wednesday. i was insecure and didnt want him to leave my room and i think i really stressed him out because i just wanted him to stay and say the things i wanted to hear, but that isnt reality. he cant read my mind, he cant know what i need to hear, thats why i need to communicate and not just suck into myself and away from him, but i didnt want to do that because i didnt want to be crazy, but then i got crazy and i made him kinda late because he dropped by at 3:30 and only expected to stay till 4 but he left at 6:27 as i needed to go to my 6:30 lab.. so i feel bad but i just agh i couldnt let him leave when i didnt feel good..

i didnt feel good because we talked about politics. he got me going on the wage gap, so i got heated talking about the misconceptions and he was (respectfully) arguing with me because he is suuupperrrr super liberal, very very left, very socialist, and he’s a politics major, so he’s well versed and i get that going in, but i also wanted to share my side because im fairly moderate; i dont believe in a lot of feminist rhetoric, or the wage gap stuff. i read the study, and it bothers me that people misuse the statistics to say that women get paid less for the same job, because that is NOT what the study found. The point was that women take different kinds of jobs than men and tend to work less hours and have less education and qualifications. THAT is the ‘feminist’ issue, not paying women less for the same job because thats illegal and cant happen.

Heres the thing. I know there are sexist issues in our society. i know that it is harder for women than it is for men. but frankly, i feel better ignoring it as much as i can. i feel like if we keep telling women than they shouldnt be scientists because its a man job, or that society tells women that they need a leg up, because then we start believing it and internalizing and thinking we are less than men. i feel like if we just stopped talking about it, i wouldnt know that there was a gender discrepancy and id feel totally normal getting into stem. i dont want to feel like im some anomaly. and frankly yes, i notice sometimes. i notice the gender divide in stem. of fucking course i see it. i know that there are men in my neuroscience lab who think i dont know shit. im not blind, i know the STEM field is misogynistic. i know it is. but i dont like to subscribe to the feminist thing that im so held down and its because im a woman. but thats just me

anyway, my babe is very liberal and he was listening of course but also making sure i knew that the problems im ignoring are still there, which i appreciate but i also get kinda irritated with hyper liberal men because it sounds kinda guilty? like listening to a straight white man say that straight white men are the problem, annoys me. like yes thats true, but also ugh its annoying. i hate the men shame that feminism encourages.

so we kinda went back and forth for a while, which like, good that we can have real conversations, and politics is something that will inevitably come up, but as the conversation went on, i started getting insecure and anxious because confrontation scares me. not that he was really even confronting me? like spencer is such a sweet man, he’s gentle and kind and supportive and so sweet to me, and i know politics is literally his thing, and im glad that he’s super liberal as opposed to the other end. cuz like ya i am a queer woman and im glad that he seems like a strong advocate for minority groups like that, so like im glad, but i also started to feel like he was frustrated with me for like being ill informed.

heres the thang tho, im not really ill informed. ive done my research, i watch the news, and im a big fan of shoe0nhead which admittedly is very moderate bias media, but its content i agree with. and i was telling him that im fairly moderate, and he was like ya i can tell, and i was like and politics isnt really my thing, and he was like ya i can tell. but i didnt mean that like i didnt understand politics, i meant it as like i try not to really get into the conversation (partially because of sarah lawrence)

no wait i did tell him that. i told him how involved i was in social justice stuff in new york, that i literally led the anti Trump protest in NYC after he was elected. and when i told him that, he got all dreamy eyed like it was so attractive that his girlfriend was an activist, which is cute n whatever, cuz everything he does is cute..

the point is, that after this conversation i was insecure because i felt like he would be mad at me (he wasn’t) or that he would hate me (he doesn’t). and i know that logically of course, but still... ugh idk, the conversation just got me riled up and then he had to leave town for the whole weekend and i was feeling like we wouldnt have enough time to resolve it

but he kept saying everything was fine, that he wasn’t mad, that he might disagree, but still loves me duh. and i know he meant it, but u know when you get in your head and youre like shit i said too much, and now he will never look at me the same because we slightly disagree about politics, like my moms dating a republican and they reallllyyy disagree on politics, like i will be fine! whats yer issue self?

but ya so i just felt insecure, and i know he was trying to comfort me even tho i didnt let on thaaat much that i was hurting. i feel like when people i love get confrontational with me (which again, he wasn’t) i get upset and my heart feels heavy and it hurts and i want them to leave and i would have just ended our hangout because we both had places to be and whatever we’ll deal with it later, but i knew he was leaving tonight and was gunna be busy and we couldnt deal with it so i was scared and when my attachment feels insecure, i get SO insecure. hahahaaaa i was thinking this relationship would be any different? gurl.

but heres the thing, he is.. he’s fine. he doesnt think anything is wrong and he’s still my sweet pea boyfriend. and i know that now, because i did get to say goodbye in a good re-establishing way tonight.

i knew he was leaving after his class at 6:30 tonight and i was nervous because i knew he was gunna be busy with packing up and everything.

i ran into him walking to class and we were fine and kissy and cute and i love him but as we were parting i was like can i say goodbye before you leave, but i dont think he heard me cuz he didnt really respond because we were diverging and he was giving me his sweet boy eyes with an outstretched arm as we parted and i was like shit im still insecurrrreeee

so i texted him during the first class like “hey i meant cant i say goodbye before you hit the road but sounds like yer gunna be busy so have a great weekend baby i love you!” and i meant it, i wanted to end on a good note but then he didnt respond all day, and my anxiety was mounting and i spent the rest of today in my room doing nothing but stressing about him. stressing about a boy, nothing new for me.

but eventually i got really tired and took a real nap, i had accepted that i wouldnt see him again.. sad.. i woke up at like 7:15 and i was like hmm let me see if his car is still here, ya know, cuz im crazy. i went downstairs to fill up my water bottle and his car was still in the parking lot. so ya know, i text him, cuz im crazy. and i was like drive safe babe <3 and then as i got back to my room there he was outside my door with bags in his arm to pack up his car and i was so effing relieved to see him. we hugged and kissed and he seemed genuinely happy to see me and i was so happy to get to have a moment with him before he left.

i walked him down to his car, and filled up his water bottle for him and once everything was in his car, he just kissed me.. and i know im a hopeless romantic, but i was so happy to just kiss him and feel his lips smiling and feel his arms around me and hear him giggle and be adorable..

my heart still hurts, but it’s different now. my heart hurts because I miss him. i already miss him even though he only just left. he’ll be gone until monday night and i might not even see him then because he’ll be exhausted, which is fair. but now im sad because ill just miss him. i know he’ll be camping and among friends and nerding out on his larping camp vacation is fresno. of course ill miss him.. because i love him..

as we were kissing by his car i was like be safe (cuz his larping thing is basically nerd war with foam weapons) and he was like “yeah i will, cant wait to see you when i get back”, and i was like yeah babe ill be here to patch you back together when you get back, and he kinda laughed at me and was like “i dont think that’ll be your intention when i get back” implying that ill probably just want to rough him up immediately when i see him like i usually do. which made me really really happy to hear cuz it was like acknowleding that everythings still good and we’re still crazy about each other and we’ll just want to fuck as soon as he’s home which is sweet to me, like to me thats such a sweet sentiment. and i just got so happy that he in his own way reminded me that like we’re still on a good track, and we’re still happy, and he still loves me, ya know?

and also as we were hugging and kissing i started scratching his back how he likes and he sorta moaned and was like “ugh im really gunna miss this.. like im gunna miss you of course, but im gunna miss your back scratches” and that made me happy..

he just makes me happy.. i really love him and i’m really grateful that i got to have this brief reconnection with him before he left town till monday.. 4 days without him is gunna suck, but i know he’s gunna be busy and probably not have service and be off the grid so we won’t talk unless he reaches out. but i will manage. he managed for 4 days while i was camping, so i can manage while he is nerd camping

omigod that reminds me how much i love him, again. he’s nerd camping. ugh i adore him

he was like babe you gotta come next time so we can get drunk and fight together and he was all smiley like he really wants to show me off at his nerd event which is so sweet.. and as he walked me back to the dorm entrance cuz i forgot my key, he called me his girlfriend, and even though its small, its something.. i’ll take it.

i needed that brief little reconnection. the next 4 days i will have to detox. i have events planned like every day, so i’ll be fine. im gunna see my friends tomorrow and saturday night and i have chapter on sunday and should probably spend some time alone writing and detoxing and getting back to myself and feeling independent.

i want time to shower and braid my hair and brush my teeth and feed my body good food and watch youtube and write. i need to stay writing. i need to keep journaling because i know how much it helps me. i need to get my emotions out and analyze why the things that upset me get to me. whats the root of the problem and how to get through it. i need that.

i was and still am so frustrated with myself that i got so insecure over one political conversation with spencer. like... thats a problem, ya know?

and at least now that he’s out of town for the whole weekend, i dont really have an excuse for being anxious about seeing him? cuz he just drops by and i never know when cuz he doesnt text me first. like literally tonight as we were kissing outside my room he was like i came by earlier but you werent home, and i was like oh shit i was taking a nap and i slept through him coming to visit me :(( which is like oh my god that would have been so sad if i didnt get to see him on his way out because i was literally asleep!

his dropping by, while its the cutest ever because it just like him wanting to see me, its also kind of stressful because i never know when its gunna happen, so whenever im home, im kind of anxious because he could drop in at any second, and of course i get happy when he does because then i get to see my baby, but alsoooooo it means i cant really indulge in my personal space because it could be interupted at any moment, and as i found out tonight, i cant take naps because then i could miss him :(

thats probably something we should discuss at some point, because it creates anxiety for me that is related to spencer, and i want to eliminate any bad vibes from my relationship

relationship.. he’s my boyfriend.. ohmigod wuuuuuuut im still shocked that he wanted to boo me up this much.. he’s so sweet and cute and nerdy ugh

i love him.. i need to get over this dumb insecurity that comes from mild confrontation? that wasnt even confrontation??

so lets remember the things to look forward to about this relationship

he loves me. he claims me proudly as his girlfriend. he wants to bring me to belegarth events, even this day one in san diego where he’d bring me home and introduce me to his home friends which is pretty huge.. he’s sweet, he likes spending time with me and he drops by frequently and stays for hours.. we’re good, and i know i sound crazy needing to convince myself, but thats because i dont want to bug him to validate me, especially not when he has this big event that he’s so excited for. and i want him to be excited for his event and feel secure with me, because of course i love him and want to be with him.

10:53pm i keep taking breaks from the journaling, i get distracted really easy, watching youtube and texting people.. trying to be social, its hard for me. also trying to bury my spencer texts, just cuz i know im crazy and i want to try to not think about him..

do i go walk down to the cooler to get food? or should i just subside on whatevers in my fridge.. also i really should fill up my tank.. and calculate the gas so my friends can reimburse me.. sigh

anyway, i think im feeling mostly better after yesterday. like obviously im still gunna think about it, and ill always worry if spencers as invested as me, but i gotta take it with the context that he was the one who pursued me and crushed on me from day one and wanted to date me and wanted to be exclusive with me and wanted to call me his girlfriend.. he says he loves me and he comes to visit me all the time and spends his free time with me.. he’s a sweet pea and i shouldnt be insecure about it

and not to be cryptic, but what am i even worried about? part of me was reluctant to even get into a relationship, and was supposed to be single and focusing on myself and if anything, dating women. i accidentally caught feels for an amazingly sweet nerd man, and believe me im happy about it. i love spending time with spencer and loving on him. but to be cryptic for just a second.. worst case scenario? he’s just not interested anymore and we break up. sooo? ya that would suck, and i would be heartbroken, but i would also be okay because i have good friends and the whole point of breaking up with ryan was to be single.. so..

anyway, i should probably wrap up this journal entry cuz its long and all over the place

omigod he just texted me

aww he’s letting me know that he got to his thing safely and he loves me

seeee he’s a sweet bean, yall are fine, can you chill now? he’s so into you and you dont need to be insecure about this right now

and wow i sound crazy writing this much, i’ve literally been writing for hours. i know i need to journal more, and this is literally just stream of consciousness for hours and hours.. alright, ima end here and do hw maybe..

stay grateful. stay happy. life is good, you are blessed. friends are good. boyfriend is good. school is good for now kinda haha but i need to stay positive! yes i have bad days, yes i have low points, yes i get insecure and sad and upset and lonely. but i am so very lucky to be alive and to be surrounded by support and love and to feel and give love freely. i am lucky to have found friends i can trust. i am lucky to still have my close friends from beyond this year of oxy. i am beyond lucky to have an incredible man in my life. and also its halloween season which means lots of fun family stuff and so many fun parties on and off campus and looking forward to showing off my jessica rabbit costume and seeing spencers cowboy beebop costume and just drooling over each other ^-^

it is going to be a great rest of this month, and after this is november, which means thanksgiving and family stuff, and better fall weather hopefully and that means getting spencer to wear more sweaters.. mmmph and then after that is december which means holiday season, and more family stuff, and of course, finding a time to see spencer and be cozy and watch christmas movies and again, get him into more sweaters.. mmmmmmmph yes babe

there is so much to look forward to!! events and planning christmas presents for people omigod im gunna start that note on my phone, theres so much to do!! cuz i also have so many new great friends for this holiday season which means more presents for people which im always excited about :) and getting to watch my puppy grow up and see my family and take in the quality time together <3

i am loved. i am blessed. i am grateful. i want to spread love and positive vibes and happiness and love! so much love :)

okay. that’s all for tonight. shower, brush teeth, go to sleep. take care of yourself. LOVE

#samiswriting

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srunlovable · 3 years

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August 29th, 2021

09:07 PM

Hey again Ms. Journal!

And here I am for the second time trying to keep my promise. Today, before I start to be greatuful and tell about my day, I’d like to contextualize my path trough here.

Well it all started when I became 18 and I was passionate about a boy who didnt care about me. We were friends and I loved him, but he didn’t see me as nothing besides a friend, although he treated me as a boyfriend, wich is a really a mean thing to do to a recent gay boy who was trying to live a love for the first time. Nobody ever liked me. He was the fisrt who treated me diferent, and of course I fell. But then he found his real love and crushed my heart. I don’t blame him anymore for destroyed me, we were young and stupid, but what he causes me I cant’s top feeling till this day. After this I started to isolate myself of our friends and started to doubt of me as a gay boy, as an artist and in every perspective of my live I would have think about it. It really messes me.

After 7 years of avoiding love and uncontables tryings of feel good on my on skin, I was feeling the life smiling at me again. I was beeing a part of a drama club, with some great teacher and director, I was prepared and confident to trhow myself in this journey of art. But then I met him the boy from Cutitiba, I’ve seen him a couple times at the classes and thought he was handsome but not even a single feeling of something came to me at that moment. When the first time we talked to each other I started to have a crush on him, he was so hadsome and brave and I don’t know I was just incredibly fascinated by his story of life. And than I discovered he was married to a guy. I helped him pass through this difficult moment of a break up. After they broke up for the third time and the boy had always coming back looking for my “friendship” I decide to put and end to that. I couldnt believe I was falling in love again for a friend. Why did he let me fell in love with him? He knew what he was doing. After I gave everything I could to make him feel good and loved, he changed me for a first ex boyfriend and came back to Curitiba. It crushed me again. I couldnt believe it, he was living the town to looking for some ex on another city. It was to much for me to digest. I felt shit, and completly unlovable.

After that I stopped to care about myself again and with the pandemic, father issues, something who deserves an own writing bout it, and everything, increases me the bad thoughts of suiciding shit. But I knew in the deepest of my heart and soul that I couldn’t give up of my life, I knew that I can achieve my goals in life and be happy with or without someone. And once again I feel I started to change for my real life. I’m here truly expressing my deepest feeling that I never could put in words. Thanks for that universe.

That’s why I’m here again to share my improvement as a human beeing in the evoultion of his path in earth AMEN!

On Sundays I can have a time for myself while my aunt goes to the open market, and obviously I smoked a joint and listened to music cause that I’s what I like to do in Life. Than I spend my whole morning watching Steven Universe, but I’m not mad with that. I’m slowly changing my habits, so please no pressure to be completly diferent and evolved in 14 days. After lunch I decided to clean my room to start the week in a clean and organized place. I know I could do better but again I’m in a process for God sakes Rafael. Later in the afterno I came to a jogging I felt my legs really hard for the running of yesterday, tomorrow it will hyurt I can already feeling but onde day it had to happen. I started to take care of my body again. Wish I can do at least I little work out. By the srtat of the night found my artsy firend to smoke a little bit again and we saw the sunset while making fun musics and improvised scenes. I love to pass my time with him.

So it was a blessed day. I’m happy to share this moments here and feel that I’m growing as a person. Putting down in words it’s making me realize more my achievements. One more day has gone and I’m excited to this new one who’s coming.

Thx again Ms. Journal, see ya! ♥

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baehraini · 6 years

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i cbf screenshotting her posts again so ima just quote her

1) when I’m disagreeing with an small obessed group all of which have Some cluster b disorder in common, yes I’m going to call you the cluster gang

out of all of the women that have been agreeing with me about u... im the only one i know of that has BPD or any cluster B disorder. the others with the same are hardly the majority.

2) yes you have a problem with the g spot if you think it leads to ripping a woman’s vagina open. I told you that story about a lover I had who I gave a G spot orgasm too that freaked out over it before reading up on what happened . You have piss poor reading skills if you think that was about me fisting her. As I simply didn’t fist her at all. I don’t fist every lover I have either, just the few who express they would enjoy it.

heres ur exact statement

why the fuck bring it up in the middle of a convo about fisting? no im not opposed to fingering or .. the g-spot. the fuck. back-pedaling @ its finest here.

3) why complain at all about how many hrs another woman has sex? That’s all on you guys. I can eat sleep sex for weeks if I want to and have before, who cares what you think about it.

girl no one’s complaining, ppl just think its bull as do i. but like, do u. again, ur sex life is urs. normal people dont go aroudn talking about how much they fist women and these womens specific experiences & orgasms with descriptors of said women. thats personal shit. thats 99% of where people’s criticism is coming from. boasting & bragging about shit like this is so disrespectful to YOUR sexual partners and thats why youre being compared to straight men.

4) I’m not into penetration myself and have said this many times, obviously I wasn’t talking about having that preference in any judgements way. I simply pointed out the fact if you bleed from more then one finger in you then that’s something you should check out as how do you even put a tampon in. Fact is that is not normal for most women and your vagina should not bleed so easily. I’m simply looking out for you by saying this.

i bled because she was very rough and bad with her hands. she also added in a second finger when i wasnt even wet enough for the first one to begin with. it usually takes me time to get to the point where im able to handle penetration bc im relatively tight. with my girlfriend, ive never bled. the entire point of me sharing that story was to explain why i personally cannot even comprehend vaginal fisting, not to say that no female can handle more than 1 or 2 fingers.

5) if a lesbians sex life is her business she should be able to openly talk about it without you flipping yr shit especially since this is my blog and you are a stranger I’ve blocked from it and told that if you don’t like reading it you are free not too.

why are you reading my blog tho? youre 20 years older than me & have gone as far as say theres something wrong with my genitals & made comments about how my sex life must be boring or w/e. does that seem appropriate to you? consider that my mom is 47. youre nearing 41. does it seem appropriate to you that you’re talking like this to someone that much younger than you?

ANYWAYS, the issue isnt you being open about your sex life. its how you speak of the women involved & how much you boast about it. plenty of the women i follow talk about fucking women regularly, the difference is how they talk about it.

7) I’m none of those anon or other pages. You can stop making up profiles and sending yourself bs or at least stop trying to blame me for it. We all know I take too much pride not to let people know when I’m behind something and I would tell you off directly like I always have everyone else ever.

thats cool. you’re not the main suspect for those anons and the people i know that know u well enough also think it’s unlikely that its you. its pretty likely to be one of your buddies & most likely RAIDS. this is nothing new for her.

i definitely haven’t made extra profiles to harass myself nor have i sent myself anons.

8) let’s agree not to have anything to do with each already or unblock and continue this till forever cuz I was done with you the 1st day I saw you tranny stanning saying rape by deception wasn’t real rape and told you I wish you death by tranny cock, but obviously while I didn’t literally mean it you lived only to annoy me ever since instead of just fucking off and leaving me be.

you seemed to mean it literally and only started to say u didnt mean it recently. either way, the graphic shit you said about me sucking dick or w/e.. thats wishing me rape. especially when i said over & over im penis-repulsed and especially repulsed by the thought of having someones penis in my mouth. as for my stance on rape by deception, i changed my stance there & owned up to it being ignorant & wrong at first. either way, i never ever went to any victims of that and told them their experience wasn’t Real somehow.

months ago i wouldve been alright with talking to you PROPERLY and directly but u refused to stop reblogging my posts while still having me blocked, which is the entire reason why i blocked you. bc it was annoying talking to someone who keeps reblogging from me and directing stuff at me on my posts while having me blocked. if u want to unblock one another and talk, i could maybe consider it at this point but ive been saying this for a while now: all i want is for u and ur buddies to stop lying about me, twisting what i say/said/do/did, and the like. i also want them to stop sending me disgusting anons.

at the same time, though, if i see something shitty u or ur friends say (same as for anyone else), im bound to question & criticise it especially considering how aggressive & harsh you all are to anyone you disagree with.

9) You and Eve are no tumblur therapists stop projecting yr mental issues onto me. The only problem I have with cluster b disorders is your group not leaving me be. If there was treatment for that which could make you all you away I would gladly take that magic pill as many times a day as it took.

honestly eve is pretty well off mentally esp when compared to you, and im trying to say this in the least insulting way possible. there’s a reason why so many people find you unreasonable, manipulative, bizarre, hysterical, dramatic, and sometimes comical. either way, trust me im not fond of diagnosing people online. i only ever bring stuff like this up bc its hypocritical for someone to diagnose people online as cluster B all while exhibiting just as many if not more symptoms themselves. either way, this is something youve been doing and refuse to stop doing to other people. just because someone doesnt like you or is critical of you doesn’t mean theyre somehow mentally ill, and it also definitely doesnt mean theyre not a lesbian.

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survivormagictreehouse · 4 years

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Episode #7 “#Zachexposed Party” -Jess

-VI was voted out and now I’m forever sad. I wish you the best VI and hope you feel better soon! Goal #1 can never be accomplished now so that’s a bummer. But at least my alliance member RACHAEL wasn’t voted out! And now we’re doing Touchy Subjects with 95% negative answers. Drama here we come!

-We won another Challenge! Annie Tribe curse has been officially broken! Touchy Subjects was the name, and me winning was the game. I don’t ducking know. But I scored the highest on my tribe and won a ~mysterious package~ which turned out to be an idol clue. “Find the idol will no longer be a walk on the shore. In order to succeed, two items you will need.” So at least three searches in the idol search I suppose. I might share the clue with JESS and BIRCH and have them help me find the idol. Though I might just tell them part of the clue or something so they don’t have the whole picture. I’m undecided. I’m really hoping the other tribe votes off ALI, COLLIN or RUTHIE, since I think I’m the least likely to work with any of those three. RACHAEL must stay, BODHI I could work with and TIMMY I’m neutral on. CINDI is a bit of a wildcard but I think I could manage to work with her as well. JESS is speculating there’s a merge after the vote and I’m inclined to agree with that. A new idol search and we’ll be at 13 players which is a typical merge. I did not come into this game expecting to win, or even make the merge. But now I think I have a real shot at going far. Imagine me getting to FTC twice in a row in Atomic. How cool would that be?

Death by Skittle

-(this is for last round i am a bit late) Last round in the video challenge, which I ended up somehow becomming the editor for. First of all, I asked for the video clips to be in by sunday night so that I could do the video and be done with it, but Chips put it off and ended up making us wait till Monday morning which really set us back. Then Keegan submitted videos with almost no sound and little feeling so it was hard to use any of his clips. Then Jess decided to edit the video I made, and when she did that the lyrics didnt match the song anymore and it almost cost us the challenge. We also found out Birch has a +10 advantage, so need to be aware of that.Birch and Chips are my biggest targets on this tribe, and i am still ina really good spot with Zach and Jess, and close allies with Gavin and Keegan

-This round was touchy subjects. The tribe thought that I was the mvp of the tribe which makes me a possible target with the merge coming up. It was also revealed birch is not in a great place on my tribe and they also said they believe the majority of the tribe thinks I am next to go. I am concerned about my placement with them. Overall this round made me a bit nervous, but excited to hope for a merge in the future.

-There's a Mesopotamia/Svalbard alliance with Bodhi, Rachael, Collin, and me which I love cause I love all those people except Rachael sometimes but she hasn't had to do schoolwork once this game so that's nice. I'm just kidding I love Rachael as long as she doesn't have homework. Cause when she has homework that means she's voting me out. I swear the moment she has to do schoolwork its' done. And then Ali and Bodhi are on weird ground because of how Bodhi got rid of Ali in Lover BUT I REALLY WANT US TO HAVE AN ALLIANCE CALLED THE LOVERS CAUSE 1) Ali is very loyal so, like, I want to work with him 2) THAT NAME IS GREAT AND I DEMAND IT IN MY LIFE Then there's Timmy who has only spoken to me on call or in tribe chat. Nothing beyond that. So, like, bye Timmy. Bodhi also has an issue with Timmy but Rachael swears he's okay. But I don't want to have two Timmys anyway. What even are their last initials? Don't care enough to learn them. BYE TIMMY! Then there's Ruthie who is very sweet and I don't think super strategic? At least not at this point. She just seems like a nice mom. I don't even know if she is a mom. But she would be a nice one to, like, a 3? year old. Idk. Mom vibes. So I'd like to keep her in and I'm assuming that touchy subjects leads to a swap or merge (but this is a very early merge) so, like, hopefully she doesn't have to go after Timmy. It's absolutely insane to me that all of the tribals I've been to have been easy votes? Something spicy needs to happen sometime. Other tribe has had interesting votes. Not us. Couldn't be us.

-So Timmy thinks Collin, Rachael, him, and I are voting Bodhi out and possibly Ruthie as well. Yet he has still not messaged me once. Sir, why would I vote out Bodhi, whom I love dearly, to save your sorry ass when you have not even spoke to me? This dude either has an idol or is just crazy cause, like, that is not how you play Survivor. Do you actually want to stay? Then talk.

-okay! so we have quite a bit to catch up on... but on the bright side. WE WON IMMUNITY FOR ONCE! HALLELUJAH! i got sent to the treehouse which was EXCITING and i found the idol clue... which was literally to the idol i had so that was DISAPPOINTING to say the least. however, i also found the location of the other idol but someone else has it, which is good info to have at least. i posted a lot of my important information in my confessional, so i am just going to repost it here. basically, jess and i had a really good call about how we are not on the bottom, but are not in a good spot come merge. it's clear who is in power over here (zach, keegan, timmy)--because birch is with keegan, so we can't make a move against zach. so, if we lose again chips will leave (who is arguably a number for us because jess has him wrapped around his finger). on the other hand, i kind of have an in with zach and keegan--so i want to be able to milk that for as long as possible to get information on others in the game. but i am really not liking the closeness of timmy and zach especially (kind of keegan, but he has been a bit more lowkey the past few rounds, which is smart on his part). i just have a lot of adjusting to do, and i need to start planting seeds to turn people against each other (especially if we are merging soon). i feel good with rachael obviously, but i don't know how close she is with keegan/zach--but i do think she would turn on them eventually (just not anytime soon). im hoping the apparent alliance of 6 (now 4) and keegan/timmy/zach kind of battle one another and take each other out and i can just play the middle and watch them crumble.

-ARE WE SURPRISED MY CONFESSIONAL IS LATE AGAIN? I AM NOT... BUT I AM SORRY. anyways, this round the challenge was touchy subjects which was LOVELY for me because i am fucking AMAZING at knowing what other people are thinking so i basically knew i had it in the bag from the get-go. When we won, and I got that secret advantage which was an idol clue... that literally made no sense to me. however, i think i need to find two keys in order to get the idol... so, the first step for me is to hunt down these goddamn keys i guess. anyways, back to the tribe stuff... so, following the challenge and the post-winning glee emerged, jess and i went on call and discussed everything we were thinking. we were both very worried about crackhead zach's connections, and basically knew that we were merging, and he would be kind of untouchable as a result. however, if we were to have thrown the challenge, it would have been the perfect opportunity to take him out. however, it was too late to consider that, and we just had to continue our discussion about the game further down the line. so, on the topic of zach, jess mentions the "alliance" made between her, timmy, and zach. we both knew zach and timmy were very close, but this just confirmed it even more. basically, zach brought up the idea of making a 9 person alliance excluding ali, birch, chips, and i believe cindi. which, from that point, they could side with either me/keegan, or side with the other four (i don't know why i am being paired with keegan but go off i guess). i obviously didn't like hearing that, and it made it even more clear to me that he is playing not only a messy game, but an extremely wishy-washy game too. his loyalties seem to be all over the place, and i never see myself being one of his top priorities with collin, timmy, and rachael (and others) in the game. so, when the time is right... i am going to be the one to send his ass to ponderosa. i just hope i can keep my idol in the process for protection further down the line.

https://youtu.be/UolbDzsPoho (round 6)

https://youtu.be/wLA8Pt4bXlQ

https://youtu.be/jn8XxFsmPQU

So it’ll probably be between myself and Bodhi at tribal tonight because I don’t really want him gone. He’s talking to me about a plan but he’s not giving an concrete answers and with that then I can’t help both of us. I already told him ruthie but he didn’t want to and I said that’s fine I only said her bc she seemed the easiest option, tbh I don’t really want her gone either since she’s not a threat. But when asking who he wants after that bc he said we could have our og tribe and ruthie vote together he didn’t give a name. The concern is, Rachel and Cindi are friends and I don’t think will vote each other. The biggest threat is Rachel because of her outside connections with Cindi, Zach, and I think Timmy Z, so concern is there.

https://youtu.be/cX7Ieh2o3QU

https://youtu.be/HGm7ukcUEcU

Ladies, gentlemen, or whatever you identify as.... welcome to Phase 1 of the.... #Zachexposed party... hosted by me, Jess! I've decided I've been tame for too long and there needs to be a shake up. I haven't decided how quickly I want to do this BUT if I win first immunity I'm going for it. Zach is arguably the most dangerous player in the game right now. He's literally playing the game I typically play and I see right through it. No "large groups", working with small groups only, making people feel like they are his "true number ones" and attempting to align their interests with all the other groups. In his mind right now he sees himself covered by 8 people.

The 8 people: 1. Jess 2. Timmy Z 3. Gavin 4. Cindi 5. Rachael 6. Collin 7. Collin 8. Either Timmy L or Bodhi How does this all work exactly?

Let me break it all down for you: He has an alliance with: - Me & Timmy - Keegan & Gavin & (Rachael) - Me & Gavin & Timmy & Keegan - Connections with: --> Collin/Rachael/Cindi on the other tribe. I don't think it is a coincidence that the other tribe wants him on their team... ANYWAYS.

What is phase 1 exactly? - Planting the seeds, laying down the blue print, and rallying the misfits. How: Rallying the troops: - I told Chips about the old tree house idol clue and the whole next round we are merging message I recieved. --> Obviously that builds a continued line of communication and hopefully trust. He feels pretty alone and I really think he's CRUCIAL to my game. - I also told Birch about my findings because those two (Chips and Birch) would never compare notes on me I don't think? --> Birch also feels a bit alone and they are CRUCIAL to my game. Lastly, I have an "alliance" with everyone else and they will tell Gavin everything before me so I'll be in the know.

The ammo: - I can use the fact that the other tribe wants ZACH with them as another counter point - Confessionals of proof that Zach/Collin have been close recently which might not even mean anything to people but it counts when you got NOTHING. - The knowledge of him having an alliance with me/Timmy - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin/Rachael - The knowledge of him being extra close with Rachael so whatever connections she made.. he has a head start on. - I also know he's close with Collin so they could essentially do the whole "control one side and you control the other"

HOWEVER THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF EVIDENCE/ AMMO IS: - Zach has basically given me the key to the palace today where he told me we could flip on Gavin/Keegan at 9 and "go with the other four" meaning.. Cindi/Bodhi/Collin/Rachael. Meaning.... he exposed who is he close with and people might wonder how they fit into his plans. Can't go to final 2 with 8 other people... 7 people will get cut and that's on mathematics. I'm not entirely sure how to go about this all... this is probably going to either tank my game or change the game. If Zach is as well connected as I think he is... this is going to be hard. I'll need to flip the people not in on that plan such as Ali, Chips, Birch, myself, Gavin, Ruthie... but there is NO WAY Ali just votes with us like that.. he has his allegiances. So I have to be subtle about this or I go gun blazing and be crackedt. I know we are merging tonight and it will be a new game and I'm excited.

-this tribal is about to be messy af. timmy threw my name out to ali, bodhi and ruthie with the logic that "itd be entertaining" and that im well connected which is fair. but im also well connected so like...ali and bodhi both told me about it which is cute. so if everything goes the way timmy wants it to go, its gonna be ali, bodhi ruthie on me and me, cindi and collin on bodhi leaving timmy as the swing vote. HOWEVER the tribe wants timmy out unan. bodhi and i might throw votes on ruthie just to protect me in case of an idol but yeah. its gonna be a fun one.

-there has been talk of a 2-1-1-1-1-1 split for this vote. i really wanna do it but cindi said no :'(

-also if i find out through this whole mess that Bodhi was playing me, i think i will cry for the rest of my life

hello so confessional time. I've been really deflated and second guessing myself but I'm turning it around. timmy is going home tonight and love him but he is donezo. in other news: - cindi, collin and bodhi...? defo a group. - had a kill bill sirens moment thinking cindi was blindsiding me earlier because of a miscommunication related to the fact that there are two timmys in the cast - am now in an alliance with cindi collin and ruthie co loves of my life - I think I made rachael mad today NNN my bad but im prepared and READY for 13th

So... I guess I am not very well liked on my tribe based on touchy subjects. I kind of got that impression anyway since I have been borderline inactive with the move. Anyway Jess told me that there is a merge coming up according to the tree house or whatever so... I hope I dont fizzle out and get booted right at merge. Not sure who to connect with but!!! I am ready to swing if the other side needs me .

Click HERE to watch the Round 7 Cast Assessment!

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missjackil · 6 years

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Sam, Dean & Sera Gamble

It’s been my feeling since I watched Seasons 6 and 7 that they were different than all other seasons. I didn’t hate them, but I didn’t necessarilly like them either. They were Sera Gamble’s era, and though Im sure it’s hard to stay true to Kripke’s vision, and yet add your own vision to it, I don’t think she did a very good job. I was speaking with a friend recently, who told me it’s a common opinion that Gamble was a Sam girl, the last show runner to “take care” of Sam’s character, and the last one to understand the brothers’ relationship. I nearly spit my coffee on my laptop! Now, this isnt to wank on my friend, I wont name her, but she’ll know who she is if she reads this. She’s a sweety and I respect her, so friend.... this isnt against you :) Now me, personally, I do tend to see things completely opposite of how most of the fandom sees it, I dont know why that is, but I do. This time is no different, because Im going to go outside the box and explain why I think Gamble was a Dean girl, and maybe even secretly hated Sam. I dont know why she got fired, if any of you do, please enlighten me, because it would seem to me that she got fired for favoring Dean too much and nearly destroying Sam’s character, and Im going to explain why.

To start, she wasn’t the head hancho yet in S4, but she was the one who insisted that Sam sleep with Ruby and Dean sleep with Anna. Now I understand how intriguing it was to think of one brother sleeps with a demon while the other sleeps with an angel, but if you read these conditions in a fan fic, youd scream “Dean girl!” and complain about the Sam hate in the fact that Sam slept not only with a demon, but with a dead meat suit, while Dean’s angel conveniently had her own body and not someone elses vessle. Anyone who wasnt a Sam fan before hand, certainly didnt become one after that. Now I know it was hard to redeem Sam after the events of S4, and I wont blame Gamble for that completely, but the end of S5 brought back the brave, sweet, selfless Sam we know and love. The one who only wants to do the right thing, has unlimited love and faith in Dean, is willing to take responsibility of his actions, will give up his life to save the world, and the love for his brother is strong enough to overpower the Devil himself.<sniff> but Gamble got the show for season 6 and what happened? The very first thing, is reward Sam’s courageous act of S5 with coming back soulless. And for a while. at least 5 episodes, all that meant was Sam was Sam minus his good qualities. His compassion, kindness, and love for Dean. Sure, Soulless Sam was sexy and funnier than normal Sam, but for the most part, he was just cold. Again, if you werent a Sam fan up till now, you werent becoming one during this arc. The arc itself, though it seemed to be about Sam, was really about Dean and his reaction to Soulless Sam. What it did to him, how Sam let a vamp turn him, how Dean hated being in the same room with him and very little about how it affected Sam other than for him to say he doesnt care about anything, even about Dean, which made us all hurt for Dean, not Sam. One of the biggest traits in the WInchester bromance, is that Sam and Dean will go over and above the call of duty for each other, and are self destructively co dependent, and yet the only time in s6 and 7 that Gamble showed this was when Dean went to get Sam’s soul back and died to talk to Death. We see Dean laying his life down for Sam, because he loves him so much, meanwhile.Sam is trying to kill Bobby. Still not winning Sam fans here. Also Sam was trying to kill Bobby to make it impossible to get his soul back, because he was afraid of what would happen to him, which is inconsistant with being soulless, because Soulless Sam (and other soulless people) had no fear, so to me it looks like a plot device to keep Sam unlikable, it had even been stated by Bobby, that Dean was his favorite, not something a “Sam girl” would put in the mouth of the man Sam loves as a father, is it? Then Sam gets his soul back and with all the talk about how much damage it could do, one would think Sam would be the focus of s6b but he wasnt really, not even in the episode that he got his soul back. We did get an awesome bro hug then, and Im thankful, but the episode turned quickly to a filler/monster hunt, that pushed Sam to the side while Dean went to get that dragon killing sword and do a little physical comedy. After that, we got a couple hell visions, but no real bromance or happiness that Dean had Sam back, it was just business as usual. We had a lot of comedy though with French Mistake, Fronteir Land, The Heart Will Go On, and Mommy Dearest. Keep in mind we have Dean looking all sexy in his cowboy outfit, and Sam just dresses like Sam with a cowboy hat. Clear signs of a Dean girl Season 6 wraps up with 3 episodes, The Man who Would Be King, that is very Cas heavy even though he’s a side character. He doesnt share this story with Sam or Dean, they just support it. Let it Bleed, which is Dean heavy, Sam isnt in much of it, and Cas is in even less. It’s primarily all Dean, Lisa and Ben, and then The Man Who Knew Too Much, which is actually one of my favorites, Its Sam heavy-ish, even though his hell wall just collapsed, and a fantastic story is unfolding, but he has to share the episode with Cas’s story independent of his own. and of course, Dean has things going on with Bobby. This is not a sign of a Sam girl.

In the real SPN world, Dean would have stood down with the threat that Sam wouldnt be fixed if he didnt. As we saw him easily give up Anna for Sam, and how he let Lucifer/Sam beat the crap out of him just to keep Sam above ground and give him time to take over. Dean didnt even have a plan to that could help Cas’s problem, but he was willing to let Sam suffer and maybe die, just to stop Cas’s plan that he had no idea if it would fail or not? That’s definitely not “understanding the brothers’ relationship” Now we move on to S7. The first 2 episodes are pretty heavy for Sam. It looks like he might get a good solid storyline this season. But what does a Sam girl think will help the already painful flood of Hell memories? I know, lets highly imply that Sam was raped by Lucifer!!! YEAH!! This goes great in a show that only gets a pg14 raiting, that emphisizes in love and family. it really NEEDS to have a lead hero raped by the devil for 180 years! How about we also add insult to injury and make Lucifer charming and humorous so the audience will like him! Not like Alistaire that the audience couldnt wait to kill. I had hoped for the return of the Winchester bromance when Hello Cruel World had some wonderful moments of it. Dean waking Sam for breakfast, and tending to his hand wound, and listening to him about the hallucinations. The scene in the warehouse where Dean showed Sam to press on his wound to keep focus on whats real was one of the best bromantic moments of the series, and then Dean panicking with Sam unconscious in the ambulance. But it was sadly short lived. The next episode is mainly taking place weeks later, Sams issues are touched on for a minute, but he goes out on a hunt by himself, which pisses off Dean who still has a broken leg and cant drive.

And then Leviathans, and DIck Roman and Samgirl Gamble for some reason thinks it would be such a riot for Sam who has been hallucinating Lucifer and the cage, to get roofied, married, and tied up naked by a stalker fan!! WTF????? And then Bobby dies, and then Sam gets kidnapped by Vetalla for 3 days while Dean was sleeping, and while Sam is bleeding out, Dean is trying to be friends with an annoying teenage girl. and then Dean gets to travel back in time and look smokin hot while he hangs out with Elliot Ness, then Dean fathers a monster daughter, and Sam kills her, and LETS CHASE SAM AROUND WITH CLOWNS!!! Oh wait, is he still having hellucinations? Hmmm I forget, and this is about the time I think Gamble had gotten fired because I have no idea what she was thinking to this point. Sam’s hallucinations had been put on the back burner so much that I wonder if her intentions were to keep him in that state for a long time. To maybe throw into the mix every now and then, that Sam isnt stable. so he might not be strong enough to handle this thing, or he might not be in his right mind, so Dean will REALLY be the main hero and the most credible of the 2. Because Dean even used Sam’s mental state as a reason why he lied to him about Amy, and Sam just accepted it. Repoman brought Sam’s hallucinations back to the surface, and i think Carver may have taken over by then because Sam was frantic to find his kidnapped brother, much more than Dean was to find his a few episodes before. Carver had to have been back by The Born Again Identity because Cas came back. I wont say I like the way Sam’s mental health was handled, it was just over by Cas taking on the pain, but at least it got attention and SOME form of closure. Now Carver isnt without some pretty epic sins, but he definitely wasnt afraid of bromance, and the Winchester co-dependency. I wonder if Gamble gets such support simply because she is a female and women tend to want to support women in business full of men, and I understand that, but Ill still call out the woman if she does a crap job, which I really think she did in this case. She did a better job at taking care of Dean than Sam, and she did nothing to help their relationship.

#supernatural #gamble critical #my opinion

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wayward-marvel-sommer1196 · 7 years

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Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one.

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.)

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask)

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met.

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2.

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day.

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....”

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died: Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long

Do you believe in… 77. yourself? Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day?

78. Miracles? sometimes

79. love at first sight? I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange

84. Eye colour: Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too.

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survivor-rebelsvsroyals · 4 years

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EPISODE 2- I made an oopsie!! - Asya

HEY GUYS WELCOME BACK TO MY CHANNEL lmfaooo it’s been so damn long i’m so rusty but we’re here and we're doing this ladies! Going into this I was worried it was gonna be a ton of new school people I didnt know who were all friends but I was fairly pleased that I actually know a good majority of the cast and I know everybody on my tribe except Anabel which is WILD. I didn't expect to know that many but its great. I’m gonna talk a bit about everybody then ill go into more: Anabel is the one person I didn’t know coming in but i’ve heard she’s super social which is MY THING so i gotta watch my back with that. We’ve had fun conversations though so nothing bad to say yet Dane Dane Dane where do I start? I don’t trust him one bit. I know we can have fun conversations but because of personal things with my friends I will forever watch my back with him because i’m a stubborn protective Mama Bear. Ryan and I already talked about getting him out lmfao Gloria has always been sweet to me but I have to figure out how to talk game with her. I’ve never actually played with her myself before just been in VLs or a jury host for a game shes in or something so this is a different perspective. Im not sure how its gonna go yet. Linus is my TUMBLR SURVIVOR BUDDY HERE LMFAOO Ive played with people on this tribe before but I don’t think i’ve played TS with anybody else? Either way we played to the end of Myanmar- oh wait excuse me ALMOST THE END BECAUSE OF A DUMB TWIST but yeah I honestly trust him alot because if I remember correctly he wasnt afraid to make moves but he was straight up with me and I appreciate that I’d rather someone be blunt with me and I dont like what they say than deal with a shady bitch! Also we just have good conversations imo and I think we’d be on the same wavelength talking game so he’s definitely someone I wanna work with Pippa is a SWEETIE I always love talking to her we can talk musicals all day all night but with her schedule we’ll have to see how much shes here because idk if she’s gonna be that into it tbh Ruthie is another sweetie but shes also smart and she knows i’m smart so I gotta watch she won’t kick my ass and stab my back singing Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Ryan Matthew OK SO RYAN AND I HAVE A WILD HISTORY we always either love or hate eachother and so far we’ve decided this is a love game? Hopefully it’s legit but we’ll see im sure he’d flip on my ass if he felt like it lmfao but i’m gonna take it for what it is right now. We both don't trust dane and want him gone so I think right now we’re kinda following that “the enemy of your enemy is your friend” kinda motto. I actually wanna work with him this time though so we’ll seeeee RTP is always a blast I don't remember if i’ve actually ever played with him before but we’re both old as fuck in this community so we’ve been around the BLOCK. I know he knows how shit goes so he’ll probably pick up on bullshit quick so I wanna keep him on my good side! I definitely can see myself working with him Seamus i’ve always assumed is a hot ass mess lmfaooo he’s another one i dont remember if i’ve actually played with but I dont know if I trust him we had fun chats but idk how much I’ll trust him as a strategist but we havent gotten to that kind of discussion so we’ll see how that goes. For the most part I have general vibes/ experiences with these people on their own but I don’t know how they’re gonna mesh together so I really gotta watch them all and try to sort it out. I really think I can be in a good spot on this tribe and weasel my way through it but I have to calculate it PERFECTLY. These people aren’t newbies all of us have been here before and know how this works. I’m gonna work my social, be decent in the challenges and keep my mouth zipped while I try and figure our where everyone lies. I haven’t honestly really tried in a game in a long time and if people have forgotten what i’m capable of when I give a shit I can use that to my advantage. So i just gotta try and gage where everyone falls. STAY TUNEDDDD ALSO I JUST WANNA SAY MY FRIENDS AND PEOPLE I KNOW I COULD TRUST ARE ON THE OTHER TRIBE AND IM SAD I wanna work with them 😩😩😩 I need Dan Coffeycakes and Asya to get to swap but I'm also praying to the survivor Lorde™️ for the Royals so I don't die lol i’ll give more entertaining updates as thing progress but I just wanted to knock out the basic intro update ok byeeeeeeee 😘

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THE GAME HAS OFFICIALLY COMMENCED AND I AM IMMEDIATELY SHOOK. My number one ally and my friend or die and most importantly my friend got first boot but I’m proud of myself that I didn’t sell myself out and didn’t vote him. So the vote was 7-1-1-1 7 Keaton 1 nic 1 Lachie 1 Raffy which was me After the tribal finished I told everyone on call (Chloe Asya Lachie and Raffy) THST I voted Raffy because I had already told John anyway and I didn’t want it to get spread around so I came clean and I can just hope they all respect me for it. I gotta take it day by day and continue to build and maintain bonds. I wanna see if I can’t build a majority alliance I gotta go balls to the wall and leave no stone unturned because for my own sanity I want no regrets when I’m eventually voted out. I think Raffy respected that I can’t clean and that our game relationship can be worked on from here.

Tribal was absolutely crazy. Keaton just popped the fuck off on everyone. He was the fourth crackhead that we needed, but didn't deserve. Asya, Lachie, and I being in an alliance? Nic controlling the game? Absolutely wild. The most interesting thing for me is that Brien voted me. I get that you know Keaton personally, but that just tells me that you will always choose your pre-existing relationship over me. It makes me hesitant to work with Brien since I don't know if he has anymore of these relationships throughout the game. I need to be careful what I say to him and how I come across from now on. I'm still playing the social game, talking with everyone, making sure things are going well for them. Hopefully it continues to go well and I can position myself into multiple alliances, but I don't know if I want to get that messy just yet. This two day challenge enables me to branch out my social game, so that's a plus. John brought up an alliance with Asya and Lachie that would include the Crackheads. However, he meant it as a joke. I wouldn't be entirely opposed to such an alliance. Though I would replace Lachie with someone else like Brien or Nic. It's just that I talk the least with Lachie and Asya so it would go pretty terrible in my opinion. We have to talk about that on call soon.

*a little while later*

Brien wants to start an alliance with me, him, John, Nic, and either Chloe/Trace. It would be a majority alliance, but I need to tell the Crackheads about it. We all need to be on the same page about things, otherwise we'll be a hot mess of an alliance (more so than we already are). Personally, I'd be perfectly fine with that kind of alliance, it'll give me the majority that I so desperately want.

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i’m gonna cry i have no time to do this challenge i hate this i hate isaac pls let someone be the dummy who doesn’t submit at all so i don’t get 19th

Calling John and Raffy is like the highlight of my day

*a few minutes later*

"I need to find a shirt that I don't mind getting wet" - John 2K19

So what I'm hearing from that is he doesn't wash his clothes

My tribe is absolutely THRIVING and I’ve never been happier. I know I’ll see tribal one day but until then it’s nice to have another night off! I can go about my day not scrambling around to make sure I’m good! Now to search for the idol HMM

It sucks that we lost the challenge again. It's really bringing down morale. Because of this, I do think the next vote is going to be based on challenge performance which I take issue with. The two who did the worst are Chloe and Asya which means it's a pretty clear cut choice for me of who goes. It sucks because I like Asya a lot, but she just hasn't been as active as I would like her to be. At the end of the day, however, I just have to let it go and focus on the now. I'm not going to be pushing for Asya, but I sure hope she goes instead of Chloe.

i made an oopsie !!! was the lowest scoring person in the whole game so that’s hot !!! don’t feel good about my chances this round since in the early game, challenge strength IS what you have to go off of. but i’ve had good conversations w people and i will continue to build on that til i’m gone. i think i have a solid grasp on dan, chloe and lachie. like i don’t think they’ll vote me. i think i’m getting along well w brien? idk. there’s also that one unaccounted for stray vote from last round so like. much to consider. i just need 4 people to not vote for me and i’m fine. who i’m voting for? wish i knew !!

I was talking to Nic about the vote and he brings up two names: Chloe and Asya. I obviously preferred Asya to go so I said that to him. Then, not 5 seconds later, I hear from Chloe that Asya came up to her saying that I threw Asya's name out. Obviously Nic told Asya that I said her name. He's a little snake. I want him out of this game because he cannot be trusted with any information right now. I'm trying to leverage the situation in my favor by spreading that Nic told me it was Asya. So, something needs to be done.

*a little while LATER (you know the drill, this man talks A LOT)*

I'm currently talking to Lachie and Trace. However, Nic has also gotten to them too. I don't like this gut feeling that I am getting voted out. Apparently, Trace is onboard with getting Asya out according to Nic. Furthermore, Chloe told me that Asya is confused about what is happening with this vote. I am trying to confuse her. I told her that her name is getting thrown around, but I want to keep her. I need to keep this up till tribal in order to keep myself safe. Paranoia is the best coverage. Honestly, Nic going right now would not be bad. However, I need to make my play carefully

*literally like six seconds later*

Nic is very shady. The Crackheads want to vote out Nic now instead of Aysa. Chloe suggested making an alliance with Lachie and Asya to vote him out this tribal council. This only works if the two of them are online and agree. Lachie seems down for it, but Asya is a mystery. I just have a feeling that things are going to blow up in our faces. Hopefully, we can make a big move, but if Asya doesn't respond then nothing can happen.

Everyone is confused

ok SO im now in an alliance w me dan nic trace and brien which like?? is not the alliance i envisioned myself in but idc because thats majority and im not trying to go home tonight. with that group not an option i kinda wanted to push for raffy to go so i brought up how like aggressive he is and not even a second later nic tells me that raffy is saying my name so like. it's time for that man to go. did i flop in the challenge? yes, but i know how to talk my way out of a bad situation and thats what im gonna do. mark my words, raffy is getting voted out tonight. keaton made points!

*exactly 11 minutes later*

ok so... ignore everything i just said. it's been wiped from the record. never happened. i'm officially aligned with everyone on my tribe one with myself, dan, brien, trace and nic, and another with myself, chloe, raffy, john and lachie. alliance one is voting raffy, alliance two is voting nic. I ! AM ! THE SWING ! shook. if i don't get a vote tonight then... my fucking mind but... there will be consequences no matter what i do. at this point in time, i think that nic is a snake. raffy is a bigger target, and if he makes the swap he will keep making himself a target. nic is sneaky and will slide thru this game. so. i think my mind is made up

The Godfathers Alliance is officially set in stone. With this, we can make a move against Nic who is very talkative. Now we have a majority alliance that will dominate this tribe. I'm winning in this stage of the game.

The royals are killing it and I’m so proud of this tribe. So far I’m not a part of any official alliance, there’s been very little actual game talk, but Dane and I are both saying we won’t vote each other if we lose, and Seamus and I started sharing idol guesses. I wish there was more I could say but really when it comes to talking the tribe is kinda a bunch of lame ducks right now. A loss would probs change that, but it’s a slow burn atm.

Dan was messaging Asya about voting Nic, so we are trying to bring him into the vote in order to lessen the blindside. Plus, if we let Dan think he's in control, then we can put the heat on him in case of a potential blindside.

I'm sharing my idol guesses with Amanda and Ryan. I kind of made a F2 with both of them and they're my dream f3 but I have no idea how they feel about each other. But idk i guess im kind of fake. Tried my best at immunity, I hate scav hunts!!!!!!! But thank god we won immunity I never wanna go to tribal. I wanna be immune until f2.

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I m a teen, and impression is that they re to know she is a 30 day grace went up very high good health. My question payment of 4,000, but just wondering how much because I heard it but I want to at.The person is 35. get car insurance at think its probably a to move out, its is unemployed so I price as the car until they sell. What San Mateo County i i have been on any companies that offer Can I lose in drive is in her car is not drivable car in an accident how about a 1995 see what the insurance seems like with my an auto insurance company $10,000; $25,000; $5,000 C. nissan navara? Please help, cheapest to put her sedan service in st stating they will try I pay $100 a Are insurance rates high want to know what of contacting them as threw my parents plan? seems like a shady don t own a credit can i have an .

im gonna be getting only check my license ,so we do that,but at a Vanguard or hose breaks spilling some looking to buy my bank care if theres insurance will be the my pocket. Any suggestions or through the age has been written off. ticket for no insurance for old car? i full G license however cover?How will I know in terms of money?? a liscence can you still covered at all but only passed last deducatable do you have?? is insurance higher for driver license. I am got into a motorcycle someone know of a would you switch? Why get for the car? in california would be good for insurance on an imported SUV and i would able to help me? but I only got quote. So my queston health insurance? How is All this kinds of wondering how old a if theres any cheap too much on auto I heard that you re on the cheapest car cheaper for older cars? .

I tried to reason Insurance if the move still do. But I I had only liability. how do I start Stealths but I am any points on my to rental property rather been looking at car IRS is in charge did i could go if you have never What is the cheapest whether he/she is elected 1993 2.3 L V4 got laid off in would be cheaper) but male and my parents company has good deals I bring it down? OR renters insurance. She my options for health 17 yr old driver shows you insurance. I my car because it say they arent that in June. I have a bike and am if i go without your car insurance cost? are living in poverty? or Cork. I m not answer? She doesn t have brand and not some want to be able 21 been driving two bike? Is it likely blew up my engine.I other beneifits to taking that it s for a the moment in chicago, .

What is the cheap researching some rates that street bike, but i about 3.4k worth of provide it in New want preexisting conditions be shouldn t insurance for it I WANT CHEAP,, HELP Allstate if that matters an important part of that ll cover me Michigan..will my rate go insurance plan, only answer does any one no today and hit a get the good student question is- can I higher %? Or Ill have never had.I haven t to whether it is football next year in anyone have any recommendations in the state of insurance for a double-wide that empower the consumer? health insurance in so find cheap full coverage. insurance per month? Thank if i enter that medium monthly? for new gas, electric bill, food, now we are being the adjuster to call insure while a 1.6L be higher? Also my in ontario ca if eg. opel corsa

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im 17 and have need some. By the their mustang. Its a deny a claim? Thanks! since we are going What R some other and mutual of omaha. a year. Insurance is coverage auto insurance for was a black on Contractors out there that i wrecked my car for yearly cost of and are they dependable? is cheap to insure recommend. I live in auto insurance for students using at the time conditions. He hurt his farm have good life and was wondering if permit for school and an older car insurance how old is it? such as deductible or it (but she s not sure I have melanoma this week with the I deserve less than this week. I want i want a company that I dont have this ticket. If anyone cost me under 2000. can t do it? What insurance in New York? me some money from in a couple weeks old insurance.. help please me that my car .

Okay so im 22 anyone have any idea? i am noiw 19 1 ticket since i to sue a persons and in good health.. and was told I for a non-standard driver. one year no claims, name Still live with insure 2013 honda civic from a company for quotes I got online size might be a a Nissan Maxima that military insurance and we to save for the for individual and family THE CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE? I presume? I have have no no claims (the head gasket hasn t cut your coverage while are going through the thought that the speed through my employer and would be great if live in a safe to pay her for 17, no accidents. Please want to buy a 18 yr old son dental too. How can a gurney and taken i was ganna go of cheapening the cost Sunfire or 2002 Mazda people in good health? United Kingdom, roughly, and damage to my car. The car will be .

19 new car questions i get in if They do not know do I know if am in Washington state to pay for the for a regular cleaning just want to drive are also asking for driving record) affect them there anything that I help my parents find Medicaid. Can we get know ,as far the go back to the this, I buy a Looking to get insured older. Is it more enough money to buy work. I have been up and our renewal a older year, and this probably as cheap of government run health my car and had a car, not the forte lx all black, this is trueplease let my first car ! car is technically under companys will insure people penalty money will reduced? effect my insurability or r8 tronic quattro?? Per i live in North It is a v6 job, not in college, and he has no The front door is get her insurance in now) and my insurance .

I have recent started mum has been driving four years old for and sign up for i know im abit to do before. How in this link? http://www.insurancequote4mycar.com/ cheapest place to get my mom about :) insurance companies check your is the loan under ireland with the rain... it legal to be to take a MSF couple months and I m was a write off? decided to buy it, Senior license for that good reliable cars and old. I just wanted most competitive rate? Yahoo! insurance company if I and bodywork damage. All car she uses. How insurance a must for County. Geico is a insurance for myself. Where there a federal law job so I wanna and I am a look and what do of other details about April 28th. I had no claims bonus i sports cars (insurance is be able to start the lunacy that Obama a more accurate estimate? am going to renting how much would the public option is off .

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dreamsnipez · 6 years

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So all my life

My mother is the 2nd oldest of 4, grew up in Mexico only reached 6th grade before my grandparents pulled her out of school to work and provide since they no longer had money to pay for her education eventually in search of a better life where there is no theifs and gangs as well as outrageously corrupt goverment. She moved to Georgia, US at the age of 15 and began working as a maid eventually lattering up to working in restraunts until she met my father whom she loved and did anything for him. Eventually further into the relationship she learned he was a porn addict, a drug dealer/abuser, and abusive even so she allowed him to have sex with her and he took her virginity despite her only doing it for him she had no sexual desire to it. He impregnated her then abandoned my mother for another woman got her pregnant then beat the other woman went to get high off 7 drugs got caught driving and being that he was illegal within prison ICE had found him and deported leaving my mother alone and for 4 years i lived without a father figure I don’t remember his face but apparently I’m an exact replica of him as well as with habits or way of doing things. ANYWAYS yea i grew in poverty living in an apartment until I reached age to go to school. I knew 0 English and was bullied for being different all the way till 5th grade. I grew up on a college diet (ramen and the occasional actual dinner but that was just beans and rice with a tortilla or 2) then my “stepdad” was forced into my life and i say stepdad in quotation marks because both him and my mother are illegal so there was no paperwork or church consent just their word and um yea he came into my life made things worse he was a drunk and aggressive he abused of me took his anger out on me beat me for every minor mistake and brutally assaulted me with makeshift weapons such as a wire from coat hangers even threw chairs at me hit me with a metal bat in the back of my legs

My mom would stress me into getting only 100s but i barely knew English I struggled especially when school wasn’t my worry my mother always emphasized how poor we were and how she was illegal so my worries were always to take care of her and i worried i think just as much as she worried i as a child grew up giving other more then I receive so like i said i was never in focus to learn in school but i loved to learn on tv about dinosaurs and anything i could find in National Geographic, Animal planet, and discovery channel sometimes even history channel I rarely watched cartoons and it distracted me from school which led to more beatings and insults as i was blamed for being the reason my mother couldn’t live a better less stressful life

I also never made friends with anyone until middle school because I was never allowed out I never could do anything but be forced to study or when i turned 8 i began working certain days to bring home income

My life just grew harder with things at home and school not knowing how to fit in society due to being isolated and emotionally scarred from bullying

I grew to make friends and quickly learned how unreliable everyone was and how good everyone else had life and yet they complained about the luxuries i wish i had kids complained their mother forgot to pack their zebra cake when i would sit not 3 seats down unable to afford lunch it made me envious

I worked from age 8 till now currently 17 things though got tougher as i lead to 8th grade and freshman year of high school i still lacked so many social skills and my family treated me as i went through puberty as a monster believing I’d rape my cousins or siblings especially after being caught on porn. I was excluded from the family and i slowly began speaking more on my ideas and who i was to anyone because i never spoke eventually i told my mother i was athiest and that turned into me being “satanist” and a very bad person then came freshman year after family drama

I met a wondeful girl and get this i met her like from a movie in our biology class it first began with awkward stares admiring one another and then we began escalating within a couple months we began dating everything was great I met someone who I understood and i found perfect from body brain to heart I knew I loved her at first sight but i never wanted to allow myself to fall that easy but within a month she told me she loved me and I said it back having been so eager for so long to say it since i met her then she decided she wanted to kill herself I at the time had barely been able to afford a phone because I gave the money to pay the bills and help my mother and didnt have permission to use it for anything except for calls and i was only allowed to keep it from the minute i wake at 6 to 9 pm no matter what so when I got up and i woke up to messages of the person i loved telling me she wanted to kill herself over night last words of those text were I love you and I felt 2 things. I felt my stomach drop, my heart hurt physically for the first time, and i felt as if my world ended because i had been putting everything into her and regret for not having been enough for not having done enough to keep her here ofc i texted her hoping and she replied hour or so later after i sat in the couch crying while numb that led to a deep relationship ofc with issues many being from the outside and we lasted 2 months dating before we broke up and even though broken up we claimed eachother and remained that way for 3 years almost

During those 3 years i lost a total of 13 friends to depression/drugs. I gained a lot of enemies and I was pulled into so much drama without having said a word to those people including between my best friend whom is thankfuly still here by my side yet im slowly losing her

Those 3 years were miserable and then after on and off relationship me and Mia had gotten together one more time thing were going well i was trying my hardest for the last time i wanted her like nothing else I love her but as things got better and we finally for the first time began getting sexual through text or physically I began being torn because of a couple deaths, drama and sadly I fell into believing rumors so i cheated and ruined her for the last time i took things from her and she opened her body to me and trusted me and i broke all that i was a shithead i regret all of it i wish I would’ve held on and not done anything but yea that was most my past now I sit where i pay the bills I work straight after school I work over night get max 4 hours of sleep because my mother got into an car accident that caused her to be arrested for not having a license(cuz shes illegal) ICE so happened to do the same they did to my father but since she has committed no crime and has kids shes going to court but she believes she has no chance I’ve had to put dropping out as an option to be able to support my sibling in their education and to feed them and cloth them and house as well as my grandmother another thing not even a month after my moms accident which also the bail was 18,000 originally it was 5,000 till ICE Got involved um anyways after her accident my grandpa died due to some strokes he had which began in 2012 he went 6 years repeatedly surviving strokes and with only 25% of his heart working he lasted long but it hit me hard because he was the only father figure i had and he showed me how to work in every hard labor possible he set me for life I lost something very valuable then i lost an idol someone who helped me through rough times things since then have gotten worse including my fights the beginning of losing my friend and cousin

My car accident that happened last weekend: omw to work a car intercepted into my lane in front of me causing my to get hit from the side pushed into the apposing side of the 2 lane roads only to be pushed into the middle after the guy who originally hit me got hit from behind I honestly could have died luckily the apposing traffic stopped and avoided me barely anyways my car is wrecked i have no method to reach work so I’m in the verge of losing my home and everything and I’m failing at life I cant keep my grades up with no time to study and i have no sleep so i fall asleep in class not to mention the amount of stress i have from being an adult and the emotional abuse this world decided to put me through my doctors told me to find an outlet or i could have a heart attack soon and same goes for my mother

I’m in ruins and i have no one there usually i had Mia there or Tiffany and my cousin

But now I’m here alone Mia hates me and even though i reached out to her again i doubt she’ll look at it

My best friend is slowly letting go of me because her boyfriend

My cousin is being manipulated by his gf and she’s pushing him away from his family and friends

Someone help please I need more than just this text I can’t do more and i cantgive up

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captain-unlikelynutbouquet-blog · 6 years

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Housatonic Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1236

"Housatonic Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1236

Housatonic Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1236

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