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thatsdemko · 10 months

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feeling better - c.leclerc

masterlist

requested: y(ish)- “Hi! Sorry, can I make a shameless suggestion 🙈🤭 that some more husband Charles content like drought would be fun to say the least, sexy and cute as heck!”

p.s. - to the anon, I’m keeping your request around in my inbox in the event that this is 1. not what you wanted and 2. because I have other husband!charles fics in my drafts similar to drought that I think you might love xx

pairing: husband!charles leclerc x wife!reader

warnings: mentions of periods + oral (m receiving) + not intended for minors

a/n: inspired by @thisismeracing’s beautiful mick fic that I just can’t get out of my head! I’m not entirely proud of this smut! I haven’t wrote anything filthy in so long so I apologize I’m not into my groove, but I just love husband!charles and if anyone has any req’s for husband!charles lmk ;)

this is for all the period havers going thru a tough time rn (believe been there done that last week) xx

“so I’ve been thinking—“

“well that’s never good.”

“can I finish?” well he’s rather sassy today, you think to yourself.

shutting your phone off, you give him your undivided attention, “alright talk.”

Charles rolls his eyes thinking the same thing, those damn hormones of yours had a way of making your words rough on the edge and bitter at the tongue. but he finds it hot, he likes when you get a little grouchy and filled with an edge. it’s rare.

“since you’re not feeling well—“

“I never said I was—“

“ah that’s where you’re wrong.” a smirk tugs at his lips that he tries to contain as he takes the empty seat next to you on the couch, “it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out you’re on your period, and talking to my mother about it was where you failed.”

“well it shouldn’t take my husband that long to figure it out.” you bite back. being married for three years and having dated prior, you’d imagine by now he’d be an expert of knowing when that time of the month came around.

“you want to try again with a different tone?”

“you want to try me, leclerc?”

you stare each other down neither one of you backs down until he rolls his eyes and his shoulders soften, “can I just offer my help? or will you bite my head off?”

“depends,” you tilt your head, “what’s the offer?”

“sex. unless you’re too busy being an asshole then my dick is off the table.”

you let out a laugh that you can’t contain and throw your arms around his neck allowing his hand to wrap up under your shirt. his fingers move up and down your back, you notice his eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets when he discovers you’re not wearing a bra.

“no bra?” he says, but it comes out rather like a question. you watch the wheels turn in his head like it’s his lucky day.

“my boobs are sore.”

“let me take care of that.” he turns in his seat pressing a hard passionate kiss against your lips. you can feel the electricity of the kiss run down your spine and warm your insides up. your cold heart softens under him.

“I’m sorry I was mean—“

“shut up, I love it.” his breath is rigid in between the heat of your bodies against each other and from the sloppy kisses, “I like dirty.”

“it’s going to be a bitch to clean—“

“I’m not talking about that dirty.” he cuts you off. his hands yank your shirt over your head revealing your perky breasts. he stands up from the couch, carefully laying you down against the black leather cushions, “I’m talking about your mouth.”

his hand barely cups one of your breasts. it sends an ache through your body and a shiver down your spine as you try to relax. the look on your face reminds him to go easy, and he does. his mouth wraps around the nipple, tongue ever so ghostly swipes across your flesh.

you gasp at the sensitivity, begging for more of his tongue, “Charles,”

“too much?”

“so good.” you moan into his skin, mouth hovering over the crook of his neck he forgets how to breathe for a second.

“are you sure this is a good idea?” you ask. carefully removing your shorts, you reveal the most unattractive pair of underwear you could be wearing. Charles doesn’t seem to notice or even care, he just nods along pulling out a condom that’s surely useless during this time.

“do you not want to have sex? I thought it would help? does it not? is the internet a liar—“

you rip the condom off his cock and just wrap your mouth around the tip getting him to shut up. his breath hitches, cock drips in precum, your warm tongue swirls, twirls, and slurps up every bit of him.

his ragged breathing fills your ears. your teeth gently press into the skin of his cock earning him to release right into your mouth. he watches you swallow with a smile on your face before leaning yourself back against the couch cushions.

“the internet was right, you girls are incredibly horny.”

“just horny for you,” you whisper wrapping your legs around his hips feeling his cock go straight for your clit.

there was no messing around. he had scoured the internet for hours and knew the best pleasure comes from the clit. and pleasure was all you ever asked for on your period, it’s too bad Mother Nature could never deliver what Charles was giving.

“horny for you, and your big dick.”

he slams into your clit again, a raspy moan exits your lips. you feel yourself coming undone underneath him. your legs shake, head becomes fuzzy until you release against him.

“merde,” he mutters under his breath, “I’ll be right back.” he gets up from the couch, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead, he leaves and soon comes back with a towel and a smile.

“you want a hot bath?”

“it’ll only be hot if you’re in there with me.” you reply feeling the rough material against your inner thighs not even daring to look at the mess.

“I’m always down for round two. especially in the tub.”

“well then don’t leave me hanging, let’s go.”

tags: @oconso @xcicix @imsorare @weasleyswizardwheezes-blog @monzabee @lpab @frreyaa @motorsp0rt @lovelytsunoda @smoothopz @jaehyunluvcult @iloveyou3000morgan @lunnnix

want to be apart of my tag list? let me know here!

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atoriv-art · 5 months

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I’m deeply in love with your artstyle! What do you headcanon for the Naruto characters appearances and how did you come to that?

thank you!! assuming you mean facial features + body types and the like, it's honestly a very "vibes"-based approach AKSDMKM i wrote down a feeew of my thoughts in [ this post ] (which i doodled as i was still not done watching naruto LMAO) but it's mostly about like.. picking aspects of the character that jump out to me and thinking about how to incorporate that in my interpretation of them, a lot of the time it's their eyes (for example i Adore itachi's stupid prettyboy eyelashes so i knew i wanted to draw those) but it could be just about anything; some examples of my beloved Guys:

with itachi i wanted a 'ghostly' kind of look to him because he is very aloof and distant, i also like having him be Long and Bony for a lack of a better word for the same reason?

with sasuke i wanted a very sweet and earnest "trying to look tough but failing because he's a little guy" vibe, mostly because those are the thoughts that were going thru my brain in any given sasuke scene in our naruto watch

for kakashi i needed his prettyboy charms coupled with his depressed everything

etc! it's hard to convey how/why something comes off a certain way, and that's mostly because imo any given appearance can be used to convey any sort of idea depending on execution! it's not Just "round = friendly and triangle = angry" yk you gotta like. flavor it for the lack of a better word

i'll put the rest under a read more so it's not too long ^^

for more general examples here's my kabuto (yeah i'm a kabuto liker. woe.), konan and nagato

kabuto (esp. in shippuden) has sharper features and i also wanted to go with a face type i'm not AS used to drawing for funsies, i also think the Angles contrast well with his (...stupid...) glasses.

kabuto is an adult but he's still very young esp when we first meet him so when drawing his younger self i'd like to put emphasis on that (especially because he presents himself as friendly), thus the slightly rounder features. by contrast in shippuden he's Going Through Some Things so the spikes in his hair are emphasized and he looks a bit more mature

konan for me sticks out as like, "bold"? not aggressive but very intense if that makes any sense, she's a very serious person and you can tell from the moment you see her, nagato ofc has the rinnegan so his eyes have to be the main feature of his face, and similar to itachi he has a thinner body type... what i wanted with him was similarly a very serious person with a lot of edge to his gaze due to his special dojutsu. and finally on a more subjective level i wanted them to look like they match/belong together because i'm very normal about them ♥

i also enjoy conveying character through how hair is maintained, so for nagato he lets his hair grow kind of however it wants to, konan is more meticulous about hers (tho i forgot to draw her bun in that LOL), and kabuto (given when his design transitions to the shorter hair) i very much picture cutting his in a moment of crisis (pictured below. <3)

there's also always like.. the Fullness of the hair if it makes sense, i enjoy drawing 'fluffier' stereotypical anime hairstyles a lot but i also really like having people like itachi with finer hair and such, i also think varying that between characters gives each a more unique charm :)

one should also note that a lot of the times the physical features are only half the impression, the other half is how they carry themselves and body language conscious And subconscious!

i think in general studying from life will never lead you wrong (even if your style isn't 'realistic', like, mine certainly has anime leanings), and being mindful of what kind of choice/feature you give someone and what you think that implies about them is always important :) the characters i draw are all characters i like so i try to let whatever makes me fond about them have an influence ^^

it's a constant learning process imo i personally find that even if i like how i draw faces Now i often find them wonky like, 6 months later? but i take that less to mean that i drew them Bad and more to mean i've improved lol

#posting this one separately bc its lomg.#asks #not art

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skunkg1rll · 4 months

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honestlyyyy i just rlly miss when i was deeply nd profoundly in love with all the bts members. i listened to their music everyday, i had folders where i saved my fav pics of them, i read fanfics all day, i wrote fanfics abt them, i watched their mvs and compilation vids of them all the time, i had a twitter fanaccount where it was sm fun talking to my moots, i wrote letters to the members, i had dreams abt them, daydreamed abt them... etc etc. tbh i had this sort of detached attachment. like i deeply loved them, but i knew that it would never be anything more than a fan loving their idol that dont even know you exist. it was comfortable that way. i would never be heartbroken by them, they didnt knew i existed. i'd never get to talk to them and build a real connection. it was shallow yet deep at the same time. i actually miss it so much. they brought me so much comfort, they supported me thru tough days at school, when i had social anxiety outside, when i had to do things that scared me i just thought of them and repeated their names. when i was lonely i talked to them in my daydreams. they were always there for me. and they would never let me down, bc they would never ever know me and be disappointed by me and leave me. they still feel like family to me in a way. this is smth that is very pathetic to ppl, but like idc. it isnt sad or pathetic to me, esp when i knew where the limits and lines were. i daydreamed abt them being my boyfriends but i knew they were never gonna be and that was safe to me. never knowing them was a comfort and security. it's like having what i needed the most without the fear and discomfort. there was a time where all i wanted was to just have a job and my apartment and spend my days at work and then my freetime reading nd writing fics abt them. listen to their music and follow their careers. but.... i grew out of it. i was attached to them for almost 4yrs, which is the longest i've ver liked anyone or anything. but i cant control what i feel connected to or not. it just happens. sometimes i try to get back that feeling, but it just wont spark!!!! i mourn my connection for them sometimes. it was so so so comforting and safe and they saved my life once upon a time. they made life less scary for me. they made me feel a desire to live. that love i have for them is still there, it's just duller and softer. i wish it could be just as bright and intense as back then bc they helped me so much, but i cant force it. i havent had anything like that since then or before. my latest connection and attachment to an actual person i have a real relationship to and talk to has just hurt me. idk i miss it... just wanna go back to my life as an army fangirl

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fencesandfrogs · 5 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @yee-hawlw

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

208!

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount?

524,331

3. what fandoms do you write for?

top five would be warriors, moon knight, star trek, overwatch, and homestuck. i haven't posted anything for overwatch or homestuck in AGES tho, and i've got a good number of fic plans for fandoms i've never posted for. i just like to be complicated like that ig.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

burned off the tapestry; drarry. written in high school.

ashes; squirrelflight/ashfur. in dear deserving of an update. i'll get there. eventually.

if i ever get the nerve to say hello; k/s accidentally secret relationship where uhura thinks she's dating spock.

better left unsaid; po3 slight-crack about everyone knowing the three aren't biologically squirrelflight's.

a cool summer night (and this sweet breeze); some hollywillow/kestreljay nonsense. can't believe this one is in my top 5. i don't even ship kestreljay. i don't even LIKE kestreljay. it's only in this fic because the premise required it.

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try, but not very often. honestly sometimes i forget, sometimes i'm busy, sometimes it's just too much. basically all my fics have moderated comments because i have had Issues with commentors in the past, but. i collect the comments in my inbox and love them very mcuh.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oof, tough question. i'm gonna go with "anything at all," which uh. ends with a mother finding her teenage daughter dead by drug overdose. i don't think it's my best work, i wrote it when i was like 15, but it's probably the worst ending.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh shit i have to go thru all my fics again? damn. this is easier and harder than the previous one. i like to write happy endings! i prefer it! but i limited myself to only fics with happy endings, not, like. fluff pieces that are all happy. and with that, i'm gonna go with "i see the moonlight steal across your sheets." yes, it is the daddy kink tigerdove one, but it has a very happy ending with very little bittersweet.

runners up include: "a firefly is forever (you know my answer)", "a tree called life," and "it's mere assignment."

8. do you get hate on fic?

rarely. in my inbox is more common. i moderate comments for a reason tho LOL.

i think people on ao3 are much less likely to have problems with me because things are always tagged and warned for. you can't really go into a fic from me and not know what you're getting into.

9. do you write smut?

yes, but i haven't finished anything to publish. which is funny. because i write a lot of smut. [i do have one explicit fic, but. it's not smut.]

10. do you write crossovers?

my first ever fic (written and posted when i was ten) was a crossover. other than that...i write fusions, sometimes. i have a warriors & night circus crossover which is a proper crossover but doesn't really engage with the world as a crossover, if that makes sense. they're not really my thing tho.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i remember? i think i've had to address people over copied paragraphs, but i don't think i remember the details of that. it could've been me noticing someone else's work being copied.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! and it was very kind of the person who did so.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

...it's complicated.

i'm working on a co-written fic rn tho.

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

character named james who goes by something else X guy who is constantly getting into situations.

(not really a joke, three of my favorite tags on ao3 fit this description. house/wilson, k/s, steve/bucky.)

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

ohf, i'll admit it here ig. i have a shrewsquirrel piece, "waiting for me in some unholy sunlight," that i really adore. but uh the ending. it ends in a bittersweet way, and uh. well. the ending i had planned ended up more-or-less happening irl. so. i can't. i just can't.

16. what are your writing strengths?

tenacity. lol. uh, i think i'm good at description when i let myself get into it. and i think i'm good at like. the structural elements of writing.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

actually fucking finishing things. and. i've gotten a lot better at it, but i still struggle to keep a balance between narration and dialogue. sometimes it feels like there are pages between two sentences in a conversation.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

goddamn this is something i've done. i think i've mentioned most of the fics involving this here also. okay. so. i'm going to answer with what i do, because there's not, like, one right solution to this. what i prefer to do is keep everything in english, and use dialogue tags to specify what language is being spoken. however, if it's a single word, or a specific phrase, i might keep it in the original language, for flavor/"it's a concept that doesn't translate well."

i have written a fic with sentences in spanish, and i took a long time to make hover translations work, except it doesn't have accents because to this day i can't figure out how to make it work. sobbing and crying etc.

i don't think i would do that with a language i didn't know. in that case, the character being latina was important to how i wanted to angle the story, so it made sense. i'm not sure if i'd do that in a different situation?

basically i play things very by ear. if i was writing a physical book with pages, i would use footnotes fairly heavily, but it's not the same on ao3. you have to lose your place to check a footnote. like, even if it's linked back to the spot (which, y'know, i would do, now that i know how to make footnotes), it jars you a bit.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i'll give you half the cross over, MLP:FIM

20. favorite fic you've written?

that would be telling ;3

tagging @kudossi, @creed-of-cats, and @secondyearpigeon, with no pressure. anyone else who wants to is welcome <3

#mine #tag game

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kayzis · 6 months

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more ideas about my lil stardew family to expand upon this post, bc I realised I wrote mostly about lumi and not leah or the kids and I don’t know if you can do multiple readmores. bc I’m sill inept at tumblr :’D

i touched on it in the caption of that drawing, but while it goes without saying they adore their parents equally, cassie is a mamas girl and max is lumi’s boy. Cassie needs someone who can keep up with her high energy and her interests and hobbies just align better with Leah’s. While lumi is ok with kids, she tends to treat them like tiny adults sometimes - leah is better at indulging their childlike nature. Plus lumi is…. sleepy. Always. Leah can match Cassie’s energy so much easier.

max meanwhile is so lowkey and reserved but also weird that he gels super well with Lumi’s way of socialising. He could bring her a duck feather he found and where Leah would be like, “oh, look at that, that’s amazing, well done, let’s put it on the mantlepiece” Lumi would be like, “yo, sick find lil guy”

The first time Cassie goes to the mines, it’s actually when she follows Lumi despite being told no. Lumi finds her and is about to tell her off, because the mines are too dangerous for a kid!! but then she sees Cassie’s bag is just full of ores and rare gems and mushrooms and Lumi’s like ……… alright clearly my kid is a fucking metal detector. And a truffle hog. how are you doing this

leah is beside herself with worry and does the whole, flip out and scold the kid when the pair get back. and Lumi doesn’t try to bail Cassie out - she’s a terrible liar and knows Leah would see right thru it. so she makes Cassie explain herself. But after they put the kids to bed Lumi shows Leah Cassie’s haul. and then Leah’s all, okay. are you asking me to reconsider not allowing our six year old down into the mines.

Maybe lumi is, maybe she isn’t. All she’s saying is that she does still have an old dagger she could give to cassie.

leah comes around to it eventually, knowing that cassie will just follow Lumi whenever she knows she’s going to the mines, even after telling her no. she agrees to let her go so long as they never go any deeper than the grassy caverns, and cassie is to stay in the elevator until Lumi has cleared every monster out of the cave first.

on days like that, max will hang out with Leah. he loves to bake, specifically bread. them little hands were made for kneading. he just loves that dough. While max doesn’t really do much art other than drawing, he does like to watch leah paint. he gives her good constructive criticism. this is how her bird paintings usually end up with hats on.

idk how exactly to broach the topic of whether or not these kids would play with jas and vincent. I mean they’d get along fine, but with the way the game’s time progression works, and the fact that I don’t really know those kids’ canon ages?? it’s a tough one. I’d love it if Cassie was their age and max was just a bit younger, but that straight up isn’t how time works lol. by the time Cassie’s born, even at their conceivably youngest, jas and Vincent would be like…. 11. or maybe they’re like ash Ketchum and they stay the same age forever so Cassie can catch up to them :’)

#can you believe it folks I got sick for the 3rd fucking time since September #I have too much time to think about stuff like this #stardew blog

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devoted-to-the-gods · 2 years

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hey sorry, im going thru a tough time rn and I was thinking abt asking the gods for some help (I follow dionysus mainly but ares is calling to me rn) but I dont really worship them and I dont want it to feel like im taking without giving, if that makes sense. and I was wondering, as someone who’s pretty in the closet about deity worship and doesnt have much space for offerings or anything, how I could show my appreciation? pretty much the only thing I can do is think, maybe write stories. would they accept that? if I wrote stories about them as little characters in my head? sorry again, thanks for reading

Hello, thank you for the question and I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now, I relate. You can show your appreciation without an altar or obvious offerings through very subtle yet effective means. Ways you can show your appreciation include:

Prayer: Prayer is one of the most effective means to show appreciation to the Gods, especially in terms of writing/making your own. Also, it can be said in your head so no one has to know except you and the God/Goddess you'd be praying to.

Devotional writing: Yes the Gods would accept those stories you write them because you're writing them with positive intentions to show your appreciation and honor the Gods. Devotional writing can include small prayers, long or short stories, poetry,

Art: This one could be more difficult but if you draw on a tablet/phone or on paper, creating drawings of the Gods or not even of the Gods but more discreetly stuff that represents them. Like with Dionysus you could draw a wine vineyard or leopards. For Ares you could draw battle armor and weaponry. Incorporating colors associated with them, and making sure you state before the drawing that you are creating it in honor of that specific deity (and you can say it in your head): i.e. "Dionysus I am creating this drawing as an offering to you and in honor of you" and you can add to that statement or change it up to include whatever benefits you. If you want to include more in the prayer about what you want help with/are struggling with currently, you can. It's all personal to you, and as long as you're intentions are positive and you are being respectful, the Gods acknowledge this.

Jewelry: For Apollo, I wear a sunflower ring and a sunflower necklace. People don't see my jewelry and think that it is for religious reasons, they just think I like sunflowers. For Dionysus, you could wear something like a grape necklace, or for Ares a dagger necklace. It is simple but if you dedicate that piece of jewelry to that deity, you can wear it as a devotional act, and it means something when it comes to worshipping them.

Playlists: Create playlists for the Gods you worship as an offering and listen to them as a devotional act. Include songs that remind you of that God and make you feel connected to them. For example, here's my playlist to Ares and Apollo. Ares Playlist | Apollo Playlist

These are just a few ideas but there are a lot more especially if you are looking at devotional acts. Here's more: {link} {link}

Wishing the best for you and I hope things get better. You can get through this tough time!

#obsidian answers #W answers #devotional acts #offerings #dionysus #ares #closet witchcraft #closet hellenism

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jainiss · 9 months

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Hello👋 Can I pls request BTS members reaction when they have a crush on a foreign reader who is a doctor living in Korea, oneday their crush has to go to their home country for a long time and they ended up missing them and confessing? I know it's very specific 😅. You don't have to write it if you can't. Thank you ❤️❤️

heellloo!

Haha yes, of course you can!

I wrote something here, I hope you like it ~~

scenario:

Yn, a foreign doctor living in Korea, has formed a close friendship with the members of BTS. One day, yn shares the news that they need to return to their home country for an extended period.

As yn departs, the BTS members can't help but miss them immensely. Their absence leaves a void in their lives, and they long for yn's return. Each member tries to cope with their feelings in their own way, and that's how I imagined it would be BTS members confessing their feelings to yn ↴

Ps: forgive me if there are english mistakes. English is not my native language.

Ps2: these are guesses at what I think it would be. all fictional.

Namjoon

Namjoon would react to the departure of yn with understanding and a sense of maturity. He'd nod, showing empathy for yn's situation, and say, "I completely understand, yn. Family and commitments come first. Take all the time you need."

As the days pass, Nam would find himself missing yn more than he anticipated. He'd immerse himself in his music, finding solace in writing lyrics that express his feelings of longing and nostalgia. He might also take up reading to occupy his thoughts.

Over time, Nam's emotions would intensify, and he'd come to a realization that he can't keep his feelings to himself any longer. During a thoughtful and deep conversation with yn, he'd say, "Yn, I've had time to reflect on our friendship, and it's become clear to me that what I feel for you goes beyond that. I've missed you so much, and I want to be honest with you. I really really like you!" Nam's confession would be sincere and mature, reflecting the depth of his feelings for yn.

-------

Jin

Jin would react to the departure of yn with genuine concern and sadness, but he'd likely express his support and understanding.

As the days without yn pass, Jin would find himself missing them deeply. He'd send thoughtful messages, call them frequently, and perhaps even learn and prepare yn's favorite homemade meal thru a video call as a way to show his affection.

Over time, Jin's feelings would become undeniable, and he'd gather the courage to confess. During a heartfelt video call with yn, he'd look into their eyes and say, "Yn, these days without you have been challenging, and I've realized something important. I've missed you more than I thought possible. I like you a lot. Would you be mine?" Jin's confession would be heartfelt and sincere, revealing his true emotions and hoping that yn feels the same way.

-------

Yoongi

Yoongi's initial reaction to yn's departure would be one of concern and support. He'd offer his help and express his understanding, saying, "Please take all the time you need, yn. Your family and work comes first, and I'm here for you."

As the days go by, Suga would find himself missing yn immensely. He'd send yn messages and call them regularly to check on their well-being. Their friendship, already strong, would grow even closer through their conversations.

During one of their late-night calls, when they're both feeling vulnerable, Suga might say, "Yn, these past weeks without you have been tough. I've come to realize how much you mean to me. I think I like you...not just as a friend." His confession would be very sincere , revealing his true feelings for yn, and hoping that their bond could evolve into something more.

----

J-hope

One day, yn receives news that they need to return to their home country due to a family emergency. J-Hope's initial reaction would be one of deep concern. He'd express his support and understanding, saying, "I'm so sorry to hear about your family situation, yn. Take all the time you need, and remember, I'm here for you."

As the days go by and yn is away, J-Hope would find himself missing their positive presence and the joy they brought to his life. He'd send encouraging messages and uplifting videos, trying to make yn smile from afar.

During one of their video calls, J-Hope might say, "Yn, I've missed your laughter and your positivity. I can't stop thinking about you. I like you so much!" J-Hope's confession would be filled with hope and affection, expressing his true feelings and offering support during yn's challenging time.

--

Jimin

Jimin would react to yn's departure with a mix of understanding and sadness. He'd likely give yn a warm hug and say, "I'll miss you so much, yn, but I know you have to go."

As the days without yn pass, Jimin's feelings would grow stronger. He'd start sending yn heartfelt messages and call them frequently, often staying up late to chat. He might even send small gifts or handwritten letters to express his affection.

Eventually, Jimin would gather the courage to confess his feelings. During one of their late-night conversations, he'd say, "Yn, I've missed you more than I can express. I've realized that I can't hide my feelings any longer, and... I love you." Jimin's confession would be filled with sincerity, emotion, and shyness.

------

Taehyung

Taehyung would initially be understanding but secretly saddened, with yn's departure. He'd nod and smile, telling yn that he supports their decision and that their work is important.

As the days go by, Taehyung would find himself missing yn. He'd start sending yn thoughtful messages, reminiscing about the time they spent together in Korea, and sharing his day-to-day life. He might even send yn pictures of things that remind him of them.

As time passes, Taehyung's feelings would grow, and he'd realize that he can't hide his emotions anymore . During a video call with yn, his eyes would fill with sincerity and vulnerability. He'd say, "Yn, I've missed you, and I need to say this to you... You mean the world to me, and I want to be more than just friends with you." Taehyung would confess his feelings, hoping that distance wouldn't keep them apart and that their connection would only grow stronger.

-

Jungkook

When yn informs him about their departure, Jungkook would initially put on a brave face. He'd smile and say, "I understand, yn. Your work is important, and I support all your decisions!"

However, as the days without yn pass, Jungkook would find himself deeply missing them. He'd become more introspective and often look at photos or messages from their time together. Late at night, he might even listen to music that reminds him of yn.

As Jungkook's feelings grow, he would finally decide to confess. On a video call with yn, he'd muster up the courage and say with a hint of shyness in his voice, "Yn, I've been thinking a lot since you left... I miss you like crazy, and... I think I need to be more than your friend. I want to be your boyfriend. What do you think?" Jungkook would confess his feelings, hoping that yn would understand how much they mean to him and that the distance wouldn't stand in their way.

Byebye ~

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sunlightandsuffering · 11 months

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Yeah since canon Mikasa constantly has to be strong and is always suffering due to her position as one of the strongest soldiers, I love reading fics where she's free to just be girly and embrace her feminine side. Let her big, muscly bf Eren do all the tough stuff for once so my girl can just take it easy. I feel like you always nail this dynamic in your fics, especially Switch where Mikasa is basically just "head empty, horny thoughts only".

Also idc what anyone says, canon Mikasa is hella girly! People act like her having abs and short hair makes her a tomboy when her personality is nothing like that. Mikasa is modest, blushy and a bit clueless at times. Sasha, Ymir and Annie are all more tomboyish than Mikasa is. Canon Mikasa's ideal life is literally wearing cute dresses while living a peaceful cabin life with her hubby Eren 🥺

LET MIKASA BE A PRETTY DITZY GIRL IN LOVE 2K23!!

Thank u tho, I appreciate it! I definitely was going for those vibes when I wrote Switch lol, but I can never help giving her a sassy demanding side either. Like especially in Switch, she's a bit of a ding dong, but she's also like such a brat and she can hold her own when she needs to, really make Eren work for it lol!! Depends on her mood and how enraged she is 😂 which I hope also shines thru lol.

But yes it is this juxtaposition that i love so much, HORNY THOUGHTS ONLY, GOOD VIBES ONLY!! But yes Mikasa just wants to be a stay at home wifey tbh. Like i think in a modern verse she'd probably begrudgingly have a job bc she's a hard working girl, but if rich lawyer Eren came along she's also 1000% be happy to be his stay at home wifey, driving to yoga in her black range rover and getting coffee with the gals at 2 pm, spends hours in whole foods shopping for the best ingredients and comes back to make Eren a balanced dinner.

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blogging-thots · 1 year

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May 15 2023

My first week of break and tmr I got a Dr appointment for blood drawn , so hopefully I’m healthy :)))

I’m very glad I passed my DANB ICE EXAM bc sheeeesh I was soooo nervous about it and was ready to cry LOL

When time comes for the DANB radiology + chair side , I PRAY I PASS THOSE TOO 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💛💛💛💛💛💛

thank goodness I finished 2nd semester successfully , even though I was on the pass or fail line ! SKAJSJSKDNWKSNKQNDWJJSS NEVER AGAIN !! I NEED TO KEEP MY SELF UP AND TOGETHER BC WOOOOOO THAT WAS TOUGH

Summer semester , I guess I’m ready 😭🤣

Remember to always read the book 💀💀💀

3 months anniversary of dating Trae is in 2 days ,,,, crazy

I don’t think he remembers 💀💀💀

For some reason today , I’m feeling toxic and decided not to respond to him , but I did reply to his Good Morning message but after that I just didn’t

Idk whats wrong w me , maybe bc it’s almost my period day , and it’s supposed to start tmr ,,, it’s also been really hot bc summer is about to start

Idk why I keep doubting Trae,,,, maybe bc of my past 2 relationships that was in HS 💀💀💀💀💀 but I know Kass said not to bring those feelings into this relationship bc this is a new start and that it’s not fair to Trae if I’m being toxic with myself like this ,,,, ugh I hate my brain

I wrote Trae another anniversary letter and gave it to him on May 9 , but he never gave me a proper response ,,,, he did say that the translation app couldn’t translate it well ,,, but idk about that bc I sent the other 2 before this and I think it was fine ,,, but whatever ,,,, I don’t think he even really cares for those letters even tho he said he likes them ,,, I kinda expect him to respond with something meaningful,,, but I guess a “Thank you baby” is enough ?????? I shouldn’t expect much from him like Tanya said bc in the end , I’m only hurting my feelings and no one else.

I was also supposed to write the 2nd letter in my hand writing since he wanted a hand written one for memories instead of the printed one , but I’m not doing it bc I don’t think it’s needed since I don’t feel appreciated enough with the letters I wrote.

I don’t think I’ll be writing anniversary letters to him anymore , I think that 3rd letter is final, it’s just a waste of my time to write those letters, if I’m not getting a proper response from him.

On May 1 , he was worried about me bc he thought my parents blocked him from my contacts , so he wasn’t focusing well at work and kept making errors, and so Vicky sent him home , so he could rest.

^^^^that’s what Vicky (Co Boss) and Manager told me when I went to go buy a to go during that week.

So idk why acting toxic , and not responding to him today ,,,, but I did this night when he texted jokingly on Snapchat that he’ll need to call 911 since I’m not responding. And I responded back with “🤣💀 they’ll call you stupid” and responded with a sad character sticker and I opened the chat but didn’t reply and that was around 11pm I think and now it’s 12am and he didn’t text back,,,, so whatever.

I know he worked today and doesn’t have time to text me constantly , but idk why I keep thinking this way.

I don’t think I’ll reply to him tmr , maybe just the morning message I’ll respond but after that I don’t think I will ,,, he doesn’t even have any decent / in depth conversation with my thru text messages. It’s all “I miss you and love you baby” “I want to kiss and hug you” that’s about it thru out the whole text messages and I really appreciate that he miss me , loves me, and what’s to kiss and hug me, but where’s the conversation???? There’s nothing, so it causes me to be bored and don’t even want to talk.

I’m always the one trying to have conversations thru text w him , but he doesn’t even do that with me ,,, I think in person we’re fine but thru text it’s awful that I don’t even want to talk to him ,,, I rather watch YouTube all day than text him probably.

I used to ask him the basic questions like “how’s work?” “How’s he feeling?” “Did he sleep well?” “How was his day overall?” But now I don’t bother to do so bc he doesn’t even ask me those.

Whenever I’m having toxic thoughts, I think about breaking this relationship off , it’s bad that I think that but I can’t help it.

I guess him worrying about me to point that he can’t focus on his job properly should be a sign that he truly does care about me , but idk ,,,, I really do love him ,,, but whenever I keep thinking more and more , I start to think that I will be better off single than be w him.

I guess I’ll hold on a for the time being and if I’m still not happy with myself being in a relationship with him then I guess I will break up with him.

Sometimes I want to tell him to stop texting me bc I’m tired and don’t have the energy or capacity to talk but I don’t want him to think it’s bc of him , bc sometimes it’s not and it’s just my brain being toxic to myself again.

I told him before my 3 week break started that I’ll be working May 22 & 29 @ Pizza , so he could come see me ,,,, idk if I want him to come any more ,,,, I guess I’ll try not to talk to him as much during this week and see how it goes, maybe he might not show up bc of me not responding back to him frequently.

I feel like I always want to get to know him more by asking questions about his likes and dislikes ,,, but to me it seems that he doesn’t want to get to know me more or even care about that. Or maybe the reason he doesn’t ask is bc he doesn’t want to weird me out and rather learn what I like and dislike along the way.

I really hate my thoughts ,,, they always get to me to the point that it’s toxic for my mentality.

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popolitiko · 1 year

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Watch House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries’ historic A-Z House Speech Viewed 2.4 Million Times

youtube

Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY), the first Black leader of either major US political party, made his first speech as a part of the opening of the 118th Congress. By James Bickerton On 1/7/23 A video of Hakeem Jeffries handing the post of House Speaker to Kevin McCarthy has gone viral on social media, being viewed more than 2.4 million times. On Friday the Republican McCarthy was elected speaker on the 15th ballot, following four days of gridlock in the lower chamber. In the end 216 Republicans voted for McCarthy versus 212 Democrats for Jeffries, while six Republicans voted "present."

Conceding the election Jeffries extended "our hand of partnership" to McCarthy, adding: "We extend, and intend, to try and find common ground, whenever and wherever possible on behalf of the American people." However, Jeffries warned the Democrats will "never compromise our principles," and proceeded to list those principles with one offered for each of the 26 letters in the alphabet. He began: "We'll always put American values over autocracy, benevolence over bigotry, the constitution over the cult, democracy over demagogues, economic opportunity over extremism, freedom over fascism." Continuing in this style until the letter z he said: "Reason over racism, substance over slander, triumph over tyranny, understanding over ugliness, voting rights over voter suppression, working families over the well-connected, xenial over xenophobia, yes we can over you can't do it and zealous representation over zero sum confrontation." A clip of the speech was posted on Twitter by user 'BrooklynDad_Defiant,' a self-described Democrat supporter. He wrote: "HOLY S***, my man Rep. Hakeem Jeffries actually schooled these fools alphabetically!" The video received more than 1.7 million views, along with 19,500 retweets and 86,000 likes. Another clip of the speech was tweeted out by Huffington Post journalist Philip Lewis, who wrote: "Hakeem Jeffries just went from A thru Z in his speech." This clip was viewed more than 500,000 times, receiving over 23,000 likes. Reacting to his election on Friday, Speaker McCarthy joked: "That was easy, huh?" He continued: "My father always told me, it's not how you start, it's how you finish. Now, the hard work begins." Speaking to reporters McCarthy singled out former president Donald Trump for praise, who had endorsed him in the race. He said: "But I do want to especially thank President Trump. "I don't think you should doubt–anybody should doubt his influence. He was with me from the beginning… And he was all in. He would call me and he would call others." Speaking to Newsweek Professor Sarah Binder, who teaches at George Washington University's Columbian College of Arts and Science, predicted McCarthy will have a difficult time as speaker. She said: "This was going to be a rocky Congress for McCarthy, even if he had been elected on the first ballot. It's a slim, fractured GOP majority that will have a tough time when 'must pass' measures come to the floor."

#Youtube

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e2019 · 1 year

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a useless memory that invades my mind all the time for no apparent reason is when i was in high school, in one of my college prep classes either freshman or sophomore year, we had an assignment every week that was supposed to teach us "SAT vocabulary" words where we had to like define them & use them in a sentence/write a short story with however many of them etc. you weren't allowed to just turn in the assignment & get a grade like normal, instead we would have to like go have a 1-on-1 meeting with the teacher where we would review it together & he would help us with anything we didn't understand.

anyways one time 1 of the words was "monotheism" so i wrote something about how christianity is a monotheistic religion. the teacher read over my assignment & i didn't get anything wrong or have any questions, so he just said to me "it's good that you seem pretty knowledgeable about christianity... are you monotheistic?" that comment caught me off-guard, so i just stood there & kinda stared at him for a minute while my mind haphazardly wandered thru random & seemingly irrelevant info, trying to figure him out. this teacher was mostly a coach (idr which sport... i wanna say football but i feel like i would remember if it was football) & only taught like 2 periods of this college prep class in the mornings (iirc he was required to do it for at least 1yr bc he was considered to be part of the honors/AP curriculum teachers for w/e reason... or something like that idk). he had a relaxed, informal teaching style & was relatively well-liked by the students.

he had one of those cliché tribal arm band tattoos around his right bicep. i always thought it looked particularly tacky bc it was a simple design, about an inch thick, basically just a solid black line with some curvy waves & sharp points flowing off of it here & there; but the simplest tattoo designs can also be some of the hardest ones to execute competently. the black ink was filled in sloppily so it looked sparse & patchy, allowing the natural pigmentation of his skin to show thru in some spots. the linework was similarly amateurish, janky & uneven & failing to be either perfectly smooth or perfectly sharp in any place where one or the other such silhouette was to be desired. but when placed within the wider context of his short yet muscular build, buzzcut, & dark eyes; the combination of high cheekbones & a square chin that gave his acne-scarred face a hardened look; and the coach's whistle he always wore around his neck, i guess i could see how it might make him look tough in a way.

one time he told the class that he never wears a seatbelt because he got in a wreck (seatbelt on) as a teenager, & although the seatbelt kept him from potentially flying toward the front windshield of his car, the force of the seatbelt pressing into his stomach as the car's abrupt stop made his body lunge forward damaged something inside his body. he didn't go to the hospital until hours after the wreck, when the abdominal pain that had been slowly worsening over time finally became unbearable. the doctors told him he had severe internal bleeding & would have died if he waited even another hour to get medical care. they said it was one of the rare cases in which the injuries from the seatbelt were significantly worse than what probably would have happened to him had he not been wearing a seatbelt.

...so anyways, finally i figured i better just say something, even if i couldn't come up with anything i thought might be an appropriate response, because it would be even weirder if i continued staring silently any longer. so i mumbled "uh... yeah, i guess technically i would be a monotheist." then the teacher stuttered a little bit & started backtracking like "oh, sorry, um, i probably shouldn't have asked that. it's your right to believe whatever you want to believe... it's ok that's why america was founded on freedom of religion..." i personally didn't find the question overtly offensive or excessively inappropriate tbh, i was just shocked that he asked it in a way that seemed to casually suggest that monotheism (particularly as dictated by christianity) is the "correct" belief to have, because that seemed like something that he could potentially have lost his job over (or gotten some other kind of negative consequences at least) if he said it to the wrong student who then told their parents & complained to the school district or something. i also didn't wanna have to tell him that i consider myself an atheist because i've rarely gotten a good response when i've told people that, & either way i think it can be annoying when an atheist makes a big deal about their being an atheist.

so what i wanted to do was pretend to be a christian because i can pass well enough as either a protestant (specifically the contemptibly unserious nondenominational type of protestant who probably doesn't even know the meaning of the word "nondenominational") or a catholic (but only like a really surface-level catholic who should maybe probably just become a protestant instead, if only it weren't for the symbolism of the no fewer than 2 prayer candles in every room of their house at all times & the rosary hanging off their car's rearview mirror & their habit of reflexively making the sign of the cross whenever they get scared) in situations where it might benefit me to do so. but i was afraid bc, again, it seems almost "against the rules" to discuss "personal/political/controversial" topics like religion at school (especially between students & staff)... plus i'm a really bad liar cuz it makes me feel guilty, even tho i don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it in contexts like this where you're pressured into lying for non-nefarious reasons (in this case, personal preservation) & the particular act of deception is otherwise relatively inconsequential. so that's why i made it so awkward & gave a weird yet vaguely agreeable non-answer. after that, i was ready to end the conversation asap, but of course not without making it even more uncomfortable first. so i said something like "yeah i'm so grateful to be living in a free country... a lot of people aren't so lucky" as i turned away from him & went back to my seat.

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andfasterthings · 2 years

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How many betas do you typically have for your fics? Do you all usually agree on a schedule, or do you just let them work at their own pace?

do people do that? genuinely asking.

i don't really live my life by any sort of strict rules, and definitely don't when it comes to writing. "beta" is a fairly strong term for me tbh. i have friends who act as cheerleaders throughout the writing process and am a fairly thorough and tough editor myself.

every fic has been different so far, so i don't have a set way of doing things.

for CM, i had a friend read it throughout, one beta the story when i was done writing, and another read over for vibes after i finished editing.

with SHPS, i've had two friends reading throughout, one who read over it at the 3/4 point, and now one or two will likely "beta" it.

i'm not the kind of writer who needs soft feedback and my friends get that. i want to know upfront, as soon as possible, if something is not working. dialogue, characterization, plot, everything, anything.

the only difference in feedback that i get while writing and after i'm done is that i usually don't get spelling/grammar until the very end (mostly because i tweak that on my own thru self-editing while writing). wholistic feedback on the overall story and what it might need also comes at the end.

i've never thought to have a schedule because my writing usually sprawls out over such a long period of time — and i get feedback throughout, so when i'm done, i'm not like, dying for feedback. i just let people know i wrote more and within a day or two i usually have feedback lol

i finished SHPS almost a week ago now and have let my friend know they can beta it but... no timeline. i take my time with editing — usually a couple months. so if they take a couple weeks to get back to me? that's fine! i like to get a little distance before diving back in anyway.

this was a very long way to say: i just do whatever feels right. my friends have lives (work, hobbies, children, etc) and i do too. it wouldn't feel right to do anything other than going at our own pace.

#asks #anon #my fics are way too long to impose a schedule on a beta lol

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cetirizhane · 29 days

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Just got the news that the most senior in our residency decided to quit. For circumstances beyond his control, he is now in his 5th year in the department then one day he woke up and that's the only thing set in his mind.

That scared me, to stay for that long and just abandon it like you haven't given your effort, sweat, and tears on that training/job for the past, hello? Five years! But I admire his courage for doing that, perhaps he felt like whatever he is doing does not serve him anymore and does not contribute to his growth as a person, or his career and he just cut it out of his life before it will exhaust him.

Which then brought me to my quitting ideations, ever since 3rd month of residency I wanted to quit already, because of an issue that was blown up into something big and everyone somehow got involved that I had to write a letter of explanation, and breaking down in front of everybody in the residents room, and in front of that junior consultant who made me a bait for her gambiting. I broke down for weeks. Core memory event right there. For some dumb reason I stayed. I loved working with my other senior friends, I loved the interaction I have with patients, I loved the place, and I took pride to belong. (Actually, I was scared to go back in my hometown and be a disappointment to everybody who supported me in my journey all the while I haven't gotten any salary YET from that hospital) Everyday thereafter was a journey to prove myself that I wasn't the person they judged me to be based on my psychological exams. That fucked me up. To be judged based on the things I wrote there.

Even when things got okay somehow, it seems like I am becoming the boy who cried wolf to my boyfriend's eyes because everyday was like "mag quit na ko, ayaw ko na" and still be there the next day doing my shit like I just did not have a panic attack the night before that. Even considered speaking up about it to my seniors but I have this thing with proving myself and having tough persona in the department.

It was tough being the only legit first year doing admin work because my batchmate allegedly is bad with computer stuff and half the year she was gone for a training and basically, I was the only one doing the first year stuff (nothing new, felt like that even when she was there anyway). Wanted to get out of there so bad, I talked to a friend doing PGIship in a davao hospital to ask about psych residency there, but found out I have to do first year all over again if I wanna transfer, which sucks because I don't want to do that shit for another year (but I'm still seriously considering even when I'm halfway thru 2nd year and just done with my training in military) but it will also be sad to leave the work friends I made along the way who made residency life so much easier. Letting go seems like something out of my niche jud HAHA or maybe staying in a traumatic environment is something is my learned helplessness kicking in (my childhood saying "you're welcome" in the background)

I did not have my salary until November of that year which really broke me because I can't even do the things that make me happy or eat the foods that will rejuvenate my spirit. Which got me dependent on my boyfriend A LOT. He was like basically taking care of a kid, me, the whiny-angry-irritable-needs-comforting-a-lot kid. Maybe that's why he got tired of me and then the self-pity kicked in and I was just lost and autopilot was on. my patients going back to being psychotic like I am close to being one or was one. (Disoriented? Hearing voices? Wanted to jump off the seventh floor while interviewing an ongoing referral? Yup, that me.)

I'm staring at everything that happened for the past year and so and it kind of made me glad I survived that shit. I remember jokingly voicing out everyday I wanted to quit whenever I am in the residency room and one time I got super late for two consecutive days (when I found out my boyf was cheating on me) with swollen eyes and all. The second day, my seniors clapped when I entered the residents room and gave me man a small hug congratulating me for not giving in to my quitting ideations. Which was comforting even when they did not know the personal stuff I was going through. That gave me the energy to face my patients for that day. Rhose little inside jokes with them "see u tomorrow... I guess?" "Congrats, di tayo nag quit today" "see you in hell" "those kind of humor we get to do made somehow my life a little lighter. To know we are all in the same fucked up hell of a training and still staying for the sake of taking care of other people and proving people that we are capable of the things they thought we can't do.

My residency is bittersweet. I stayed there for a stupid reason-I want to have a proper and not LDR kind of a relationship with someone I was just starting to know. Now, I'm staying there because I want to help people I am just starting to know and want to know about.

What do I know? I'm barely just scratching the surface. I barely just started 2nd year. I hope I don't lose the tiny spark I have. The fact that I'm still afraid of losing that means I still want to continue doing this despite how exhausting this thing is.

#residency things

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actuallyitsstar · 1 month

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hiii 🍓🔪🦷🐚 and 🧩 (for the drama 💅)

✨ writer’s truth or dare! ✨

hi there nonnie !!! tysm for the ask!! i am so sorry for the late response but i hope that u see this and enjoy !! <3<3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

i have no idea anymore tbh lol. i can tell u that the first fic i ever wrote was an episode tag for the mentalist, and that i was probably was somewhere between the ages of 12 and 15???? but i don't remember the specifics that got me into it. i started reading fic (also for the mentalist) when i was like, 11, so, probably because after a year or two i convinced myself to just give it a shot and the rest was history. at the end of the day, though, it probably just comes down to an uncontrollable urge to put that blorbo into a situation!!

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

not for a fanfic, but i had to know SO MUCH about a limited model run of a special drag racing car that ford made in the early 1960s (only a few hundred made, very rare, etc etc) due to a personal writing project i started and then kind of abandoned when i was like, 16 lol. i used to know the production run numbers and engine size and the paint colors and everything by memory. it was ridiculous.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

if you love something, do it. even if you fear you won't do it well- if you love something enough, you love it enough to do it shitty. that's so much better than not doing it at all. learning to let go of my incredibly creativity-freezing perfectionism is an ongoing task that i am not even halfway thru, so trust me when i say i know how tough that rly is. but you always regret the things you didn't try more than the things you did.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

aaaaaah do we still mean in writing lol? or irl? i like a surprise twist or turn in writing quite a lot! i also love foreshadowing and being chased down by the narrative. there's no perfect right answer! as for irl, it depends, but i don't like to get scared or to have plans suddenly changed at the last minute. if it's a surprise outside of those circumstances, then yes, i do!

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

for me it's either poor formatting (i.e. no paragraph breaks, no quotations, no commas, that kind of thing), or (and i hope this doesn't come off rude in any way bc i know we all make different choices stylistically and are all always learning and growing too!), and this might just be a me thing, but if the pov is from like. a god-mode position where the third person narrative knows what every character is thinking at the same time and it's not just switching povs or like. one character's prediction of another's pov. but like. idk what that is called. it just kind of breaks my immersion to the story i think, so i don't tend to vibe with it!

again, thank u so much anon !!! i hope u have a lovely day !! <3 tysm for stopping by my blog and taking time to send in an ask aaaa!

#star unasks #Anonymous #i hope u do see this im sorry it was so late !!!!!#lol but i hope i dont stir up ~drama~ on the last one #i feel like everyone has those weird pet peeves when it comes to formatting or style etc etc

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vitos-ordination-song · 6 months

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Was anyone else abused thru forced exercise? Like I can remember my brother being punished by sadistic exercise routines and stuff but most of the time it wasn’t even punishment. It was just my parents being psycho. Something that’s been depressing me is that when my mom visited a couple months ago, I felt bad because I didn’t realize how much her body had deteriorated. She’s still healthy enough but she can’t hike like she used to. We only did 3-4 miles but she started to be in pain towards the end and I was sympathetic and helped her out when we got home. Then I thought about it… I showed her way more care than she did towards her own children when we were growing up (story of my life but anyway).

Almost every vacation we took was full of hiking. I was tiny and the only girl for a while and my dad literally wrote a song to make fun of me for being “delicate.” Neither my sister and I could keep up with the rest of the family and my parents would just leave us behind on trails! This was out in national parks. I was hiking in Arizona as early as age 3, and I remember doing a 14 mile hike at age 7. Typically the hikes were 3-10 miles, often strenuous. Sometimes we did more than one a day, and we usually didn’t get any days off. It was absolutely fucking exhausting. I’d get horrible cramps in my stomach, I’d be hungry, thirsty, and bored. And they just didn’t give a shit. No complaining, we should just be grateful for the opportunity. Pretty sure my ankles and feet were damaged because of overexercise at a young age.

When I was around 6, my family visited Yosemite and we started doing the upper falls hike. Around halfway up I begged to stop and, for the only time I can remember, my mom granted mercy and took me back down the mountain (possibly because she was also having a hard time). But my actual sadist of a father forced my brothers to finish it. Years later when we visited the park again, trying to prove I was tough, I did climb myself. And I had horrible leg pain for MONTHS afterwards. The hike is so steep that going back down is just as bad as going up, and honestly it’s pretty dangerous. The fact that my dad made my six year old and eight year old brothers do it is just shameful. They were resentful of me for years after I got out of it that first time.

My mom always signed me up for sports, whether I wanted to do them or not. There was a lot of embarrassment involved there, but I could usually just get over it. Around age 12 though, she forced me to join a professional swim league. I am a strong but not fast swimmer. I was okay with summer league but this was something different: two hour practices in Olympic length pools. We got yelled at if we stopped to breathe. I felt like I was drowning. It’s incredibly stupid but it turned into a huge power struggle with my mom, ‘cause I started refusing to go and she wouldn’t tolerate any threat to her authority. She of course had given me other body issues (she used to joke about giving all her kids eating disorders) so I would go to practice hungry and tell myself at least I was losing weight. I was literally still a kid, I wasn’t even done growing…

In my teen years, my mom got into CrossFit. She was super annoying about it and made me go too. I hated it of course, and I was usually the only kid there unless my siblings came along. The type of exercise they do is dangerous; to this day I think being forced to do “box jumps” damaged my legs, and CrossFit definitely contributed to my mom’s stress injuries.

This is part of a larger topic I guess: my parents are totally dead to the flesh, don’t even know they have bodies, and tried to rob me of mine too. It’s taken so long to rebuild a healthy relationship to my body and to exercise; it’s been a struggle to balance between avoiding it out of depression or overdoing it out of anxiety.

#PE also sucked #particularly in hs when I was chubby and depressed and they made us to a 10 minute mile #I’m v short and not a good runner #I hated it so much. out in the Georgia heat.#what is the point

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darudedogestorm · 8 months

Text

Ok maybe i will make an intro/reference post for some of my primary OCs

doesn't contain their full info as for a few of them that would be a bit Too much... feel free to ask me more about them tho i would be so happy

also now realizing these are like. entirely pokemon ocs. oopsie

sorry if the formatting is strange and offputting its because tumblr doesnt like me that much

avi

guy who found meaning in life thru aminals :) (pokemon) basically struggled a lot, felt pretty worthless, volunteering at the local pokemon center kind of turned his life around

if pokemon werent real he’d be a dog guy. but he’s a cyndaquil guy

projects an image of a casually tough guy

works at a pokemon center :) current vet tech student (or well the equivalent of a vet tech in pokemon)

basically works with the system that rehomes/releases surrendered pokemon. like if you’ve ever ‘released’ a pokemon into the wild, he’s part of the group of people who handles 1. can it even Be released into the wilderness (for example it might be too habituated to life with humans to be rereleased safely), and 2. depending on the answer to question 1, where is that thing going

i have a whole system for this but it’s not entirely finished

2 beautiful babies (his quilava), little red and big bea

they are from a puppy mill situation :( brought into the center as part of aforementioned shelter/release program

^ the reason little red is a shiny

also the reason he found meaning in life <3

#fosterfailures

wurmple kid/skipper

one time i had this dream that i was lance’s (yes the indigo league champion lance) kid who was like super obsessed with wurmples and dgaf about dragon types and he was lowkey disappointed in me about it. and this became my oc

literally like 8 years old

obsessed with wurmples (based off of me in elementary school who was obsessed with dogs)

he likes other bug types by extension but NOTHING will beat wurmple. nothing.

assumes he’ll one day grow up to be a wurmple. it’s his dream

non wurmple related fact: retreats into his beautiful mind palace during times of stress and if he cannot do so he will explode. the wurmple obsession may be a manifestation of this. just like me fr

puzzle enjoyer :)

i wrote up a thing for one of those 50 question ‘tell me about your oc’ things for him but it would be too long to put here LMAO

in a nutshell:

arachne

spawned from my mono bugtype run of pokemon platinum

girl who is basically a bug

views herself as the general of an army of bugs with which she will one day RULE THE WORLD

engages in mithradatism (consumes the poison of her bugs in hopes that she will grow immune)

it has landed her in the hospital once but like that’s whatever. all that hospital trip taught her was that she should be more careful with her doses as opposed to not dosing herself at all

her starter was a spinarak (spinnerrella) who she used to wear on her back, like a backpack

spinnerrella evolved into a ariados so now she just wears one of her shedded exoskeletons from when she was still a spinarak. one day when she’s taller and stronger she’ll let spinnerrella on her back again but for now they must be apart

connie

i dont even know where to start

spawned from a pokemon roleplay with a friend. 10 page google document

works in conservation/ecology

where she got her name (she is #epic transgender) (and #fail bad at names)

current project is dealing with the slowpoke in azalea; after the team rocket poaching incident, there was an increase in naturally tailless slowpoke (“natural” selection, those without tails weren’t poached and were more likely to reproduce before dying). it’s her job to figure out if this is a problem that needs attention, as well as study any other effects the population may be experiencing

being blackmailed out of doing her actual Dream project, which is working to reintroduce the johto starters back into their natural habitats, which they are extinct in

blackmailed by a certain business man for whom this would not bode

has the most insane fucked up family in the world and doesnt even know about it

has a baby teddiursa that she takes care of :) don’t ask her how she got it

if i wrote Everything i had about her here this would be way too long. as it is an introduction rather than a story recap

i have art of her :)

#low pitched finite woofing #oc talk

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