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#i know there's gonna be consequences after he lets me come back (assuming he does)
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I think I feel myself forgetting, it doesn't feel real anymore
I should be happy, right? This is what I asked for. To go back to the way things were.
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hello-nichya-here · 8 months
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Yes, Buffy loved Spike
The way people act like that was in anyway left up to discussion by the show is legit hilarious/infuriating.
James Marsters (Spike) has said in an interview that, when Joss Whedon let him know that Spike was gonna fall in love with Buffy in season five, he had assumed it would one-sided - only for Whedon to correct him with a "Oh no, she's gonna fall in love with you too."
And the show wasn't shy about it either. Through seasons six and seven, we are shown Buffy repeatedly denying that she loves Spike - and then immediatelly contradicting herself either through actions or her own words (and even in season five she had already kissed him once after he did not give away her sister's identiy to Glory even after being tortured).
After Buffy comes back from the dead - from heaven - and is dragged to the literal hellmouth, having to crawl out of her grave, she sees the Buffy-bot being torn from limb by a bunch of demons. Naturally, this fucks with her head a bit. She manages to save her friends, but she is still very shaken, and looking like she's not really fully back to her senses as her sister is speaking to her. It really does look like something is very wrong and that she is not at all the same girl we once knew.
Then she hears Spike's voice and goes to see him. Only when she sees HIM, when HE starts trying to talk to her, when HE is the one taking care of her, does she start to properly respond. And, of course, out of all the people there - all of whom are worried about her and that she supposedly trusts way more than she trusts this "fully evil" vampire - Spike is the one to whom she reveals what actually happened to her.
During the musical episode, we see her sing "I touch the fire and it freezes me, I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peal - I want the fire back" confirming to us that her depression after being taken from heaven was not just a temporary consequence of the shock of it all, and has left her completely disconnected from the people she loved, and from life itself, and that she does not know if it can ever be fixed.
But at the end of the episode, after Spike stops her from basically commiting suicide (because remember, he stopped BUFFY. not the bad guy) she sings to Spike "This isn't real, but I just wanna feel" right before they kiss. And Spike's own song says "I died so many years ago. You can make me feel like it isn't so."
It is very clear that what convinced Buffy to keep on living wasn't just because Spike loved her - she already knew that, and she also her friends and this has not done anything to make her less depressed. What makes her not give up is realizing that SHE can still connect to others, SHE still can have feelings for someone. Only it is with her former mortal enemy instead of her friends and family (she had even said in an earlier episode that he was the only person she could stand to be around) and the kiss makes it obvious that this new bond she has with Spike is NOT platonic.
And the following episode when she tries to pretend it means nothing? It has her acting all flirty with Spike while they're both dealing with the amnesia spell, and once their memories return the episode ends with her kissing him AGAIN.
And during ALL of the episodes she's claming she is totally disgusted by him? She's having sex with him all the time. And when Tara finds out about it, Buffy does admit she's using him, but she refuses to give an answer when Tara asks "Do you love him?"
When Spike brings a date to Xander's wedding , Buffy KNOWS is just to get her jealous and Spike even admits to it - and she admits that, even knowing all of that, it DOES bother her. She is unbelievably distraught after finding out he slept with Anya, and even says to his face "I have feelings for you, I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for that" showing us that the thing stopping Buffy from truly giving Spike a chance is, understandably, the "You're a literal souless creature that needs to feed on people to survive" factor, not because their connection is not genuine or strong enough, or because of her past with Angel.
Not to mention, it makes perfect sense that, during the season she was clearly suicidal, she falls in love with the character that is representing the possibility of her death - their first time even happens after Spike reveals that, for some reason, the chip no longer causes him pain when he attacks her, and thus he actually poses a threat to her again.
Unhealthy? Absolutely. Scary? Fuck yes. Does she get over her "feelings that are totally not love" in the season finale, when she's crawling "out of her grave" again, this time triumphantly, in the sunlight, all brave and finally letting go of her self loathing? NOPE!
In season seven, when she's finally about to go out with a man that is not and has never been evil, her friends are all obviously wondering if this is a sign that she is over Spike - of if she's just pretending to. Buffy's response? THE biggest Freudian Slip she's ever had in the series.
"Why does everyone in this house think that I'm still in love with Spike?"
STILL!
Still. In. Love.
Not "Why is everyone convinced that I fell in love with Spike? I told you guys I liked him, but didn't love him" but "Why do you guys think I'm not over those totally vague, definitively not deep 'feelings' I had and that were 100% not just a code for 'Yes, I am in love with him, but I'm scared it will blow up in my face'?"
And how does that date with that Not Evil guy, that was revealed to be the son of Slayer, go? Pretty well! It looks like this romance might actually have a chance of going somewhere.
At least until she goes "Look, I know Spike killed your mom when he was souless and all, but if you try to go after him to get revenge again, he will murder you, and I will let him." She also turns her back on her watcher, and father figure, when she finds out he was in on the plan to kill this vampire that is Totally-Not-Her-Boyfriend.
The episode even has Giles directly compare her codependent bond with Spike to what she had with Angel - which again, included her letting Angelus get away and kill people. Sure, Spike has a soul now, he let the dude live to tell the tale since killing his mom WAS an awful thing to do, and if he was attacked again and killed him it would be self-defense - but it's impossible not to notice the very clear "Buffy is protecting her man" tone of it all.
Not to mention, before that, Spike offers to leave Sunnydale since Buffy's potential new boyfriend clearly can help her find demons and thus she no longer needs him around - and she full on says that SHE IS NOT READY FOR HIM NOT TO BE THERE.
Then, of course, there's "Touched." The episode in which EVERYONE is going "We might die tomorrow, lets fuck to cope", and not only is Buffy clearly touched (Get it? Get it?) by Spike's speech about how much he loves her, she asks him to get in bed with her and hold her. And even though they are not having sex, the scenes of them cuddling are being framed as being just as intimate and romantic as the scenes of everyone else making love to their partners. Again, we had Giles full on state the obvious to Buffy: she and Spike might not be sleeping together anymore, but they are VERY clearly acting like they're still in a relationship, even if both are now hesitant to give it a try after literally everything went wrong for them.
The following day, Spike says that it was the happiest night of his life, and when he starts saying that he knows it obviously didn't mean as much for Buffy as it did to him, she corrects him and says it absolutely did. Spike even goes as far as trying to confirm it AGAIN by asking "Were you there with me?" to which Buffy says "I was", which is HUGE considering she had just admited to him the previous night that she had always cut herself off from everyone - Spike VERY much included - due to being the slayer.
"Oh, but what about the Bangel kiss in the finale?"
The one Joss Whedon explicitly refered to as "the show's way of servicing the Bangel fans" aka FANSERVICE? The one that came right out of nowhere as the signature of Bangel's "romantic chemistry" is angsty pining? The one that didn't hold a candle to one of the few Bangel scenes I say absolutely worked, aka the kiss after Angel comes back to Sunnydale to help Buffy deal with her grief over her mother and that only happened after they had spend HOURS together because, surprise surprise, it doesn't matter if they still have feelings for each other, they have NEVER had this dynamic of exes that just casually make out with each other the second they are in the same room together?
The one that happens right before Buffy says "Sorry, you won't be the vampire champion that will save the world, I'm chosing Spike for that role"? The one that is followed by an obviously jealous Angel making it very clear to Buffy that he is bitter she's "brushing him off for captain peroxide"? And then she asks if he'll react that way everytime she gets a BOYFRIEND?
When Angel points out that, again, she just let slip how she actually feels about Spike, Buffy has to deny it because Joss Whedon thought the ONLY way to make sure viewers didn't miss that Buffy is totally an independent woman that don't need no man was to tease both the possibility of a Bangel AND a Spuffy endgame just to go "Sorry, Buffy is gonna choose to be single."
HOWEVER, even the way she does that has changed significantly, as she says "He is not my boyfriend, but he is in my heart." Notice how, unlike all the previous times, Buffy is not trying to diminish what she has with Spike.
She went from "I slept with Spike/said I feelings for him BUT this totally means nothing and I could NEVER love him because he doesn't have a soul like Angel did" to "Look, Angel, I swear that Spike is totally not my boyfriend BUT I will treat him like he is because I absolutely do have feelings for him. Could you pretty, pretty please go back to L.A. now that the fanservice moment is over? I'll even end it with a 'sometimes I totally think of what could happen between us someday' so we can pretend our romance has not been officially pronounced 'impossible to ever be endgame' since season three of my show and season one of your show?"
And where does she immediatelly go to after this? To see Spike. Because she wants another night of cuddling with him. Then The First shows up in the middle of the night to torment her, he explicitly refers to Spike as Buffy's vampire LOVER.
Finally, the final battle is happening, and Spike is about to die saving the world, and Buffy, with tears in her eyes finally says that she loves him. Whedon had even said to Sarah "Be proud of him. Love him when saying it." We even see literal flames as they are holding hands - an obvious nod to the musical, with the "I want the fire (feeling) back", and Whedon basically confirmed it by saying it was a very deliberate choice to symbolize the feelings the characters have for each other. It is the visual representation of Buffy FINALLY accepting that she truly does love Spike.
"Oh, but he responds 'No, you don't, but thanks for saying it' implying Buffy was only trying to make sure he would die happy!"
Did you guys forget EVERYTHING ELSE I just mentioned in this post? Or the fact, at that point, Spike is still processing the guilt of all the monstruous things he did as a vampire now that he has a soul again? Did you forget him literally asking Buffy to kill him for what he did and telling her that the soul did not suddenly make him good - only for HER to be the one to say he fought back against the monster inside of him and that she believes in him?
Again, James Marsters gave us his insight on what he felt Spike meant by that line and how he played it: Spike was saying that Buffy COULDN'T love him. Not yet. Because he didn't feel he deserved it yet. It was not the right time for them. Yet.
"Oh, but in the late seasons of Angel, when Spike is brought back to life, he is told that Buffy never truly loved him!" Yeah, he is told that - BY ANGEL! In what world would he, Buffy's ex that has had problems with Spike since long before Buffy was even born and that had already admited that having her pick Spike over him "did not bring out the champion in him", not be extremely biased?
"But you're forgetting the Buffy comics in which she is basically told Angel is her soulmate and sleeps with him during some magical fuckery that made her go mad with power!"
Yeah, and in those same comics, even though it took forever and Whedon just HAS to force the "Buffy ends the story chosing to be single because she can either be a strong female character OR be in a happy relationship" AGAIN, she and Spike became a couple after all of that, with her explicitly telling him WHAT SHE HAD WITH ANGEL IS IN THE PAST, and the ending even suggests is only a matter of time before she and Spike get back together again, this time for good.
Claiming that it was up for debate if Buffy ever truly loved Spike is as ridiculous as if I said "I know we are both shown and told many times that Angel and Buffy slept together in season two, but I actually think it's up for the debate if they truly did" NO, IT ISN'T!
We are shown how Buffy's feelings for Spike grow over time, how her dynamic with him changes, how she is actively choosing him over everybody else after he gets his soul, and both the character and the people involved in making the show EXPLICITLY SAY she loves him.
You can dislike it, but don't expect everyone else to cover their ears and close their eyes to pretend it wasn't clear that Spike's love for Buffy has not been one-sided for a VERY long time.
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luvyeni · 7 months
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CONSEQUENCES OF A ONE NIGHT STAND. ( chapter. 42 )
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— CHAPTER FORTY-TWO: frustration + knife + hand = emergency room 😰
— 𖦹 warnings?
previous - next - masterlist
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jake looked around the emergency room for you, immediately spotting you. “yn!” you turned to the boys who looked like he seen a ghost. “hi.” you held your wounded hand with a rag you found in your closet.
“yn how did this happen?” he said, his heart finally calming down, knowing that you weren’t actually bleeding out like the voices in his head were telling him. “i really wanted to get the crib open, but i could, so i go a knife.” you pointed to your hand. “and five minutes later this happened.
he sighed, sitting down. “i asked you to call him if you needed me, you didn’t have to do that.” you pouted. “i just wanted to open it, it didn’t take much.” he inspected your hand. “yn look at your hand, next time call me, i don’t care if it’s to find a loose screw, you call me.”
you were called to the back, jake following close behind you. “let’s take a look at that hand.” the doctor took the rag off, cringing at the cut. “it’s gonna need a few stitches.” you nodded. “you’ll need to stay off that hand for a while.” jake listened closely. “you’re dad i’m assuming?” the doctor pointed to him. “yeah.”
“well then you’ll have to step up and help her .” jake nodded. “of course.” the doctor left the room to go get the supplies. “you okay?” you nodded. “you seem more worried then me, you would’ve thought i was going into labor, i can only imagine what that would be like when the day comes,” he chuckled. “well i was worried about you.” you smiled. “thank you for coming.”
the doctor shortly returned , stitching up your hand, wrapping it with a cloth bandage. “try not to get that wet okay?” you nodded. “be careful okay, you really should be on bed rest, you look like you could go in any day.”
jake guided you to the car, helping you into the car – even though you protested. “yn just let me help you.” he said, closing the door, running around the car to the drivers side. “that’s what i’m here for.”
you guys made it back to your apartment, jake helping you all the way up to your apartment, opening the door. “go sit.” you waddled to your seat, he smiled. “cute.” you turned to him. “there’s nothing cute about me waddling like a penguin.” he sat down next to you. “everything about you is so cute.” you slapped his arm. “stop it.” he laughed.
jake was nothing sort of a gentleman for the entire day, helping you do things, cleaning your apartment, anything you asked, he did. “okay jake sit down before your legs give out.” you patted the seat. “let’s order some food okay, we can watch a movie.”
jake in his mind wanted to believe this was a home date – much like you used to have before he fucked it up. “sure, but i’m paying.”
you guys ordered some food, and you turned on a movie, jake helped you change into some comfortable clothes, sitting down to eat the food. “good?” you gave him a thumbs up, your face full of food, his heart was pounding, you just did understand how the slightest thing you did made him crack a big smile.
after eating, jake cleared the table, you stretched out on the couch. “getting sleepy?” you nodded. “let’s get you to bed then? how does that sound.” you tiredly nodded, he helped you up, guiding you to your bedroom.
“it’s late outside.” you yawned as he helped you into the bed. “you shouldn’t drive this late at night.” your eyes were closed. “i’m fine, i’ll be back in the morning.” he went to turn the light off, but you grabbed his hand. “please don’t go, i don’t want you to.”
he stared down at you, he didn’t want to leave either – so he didn’t, taking off his sweater along with his shirt, climbing into bed with you. “happy.” you shook your head no. “what do you need? you in pain?” you shook your head. “what’s wrong then?” you pulled him closer. “come closer.”
his hand rested on your stomach, cuddling closer to your request. “this okay.” you nodded. “perfect.” you felt safe in his arms, much like before. “thank you for today, really.” you spoke up. “i told you yn.” he said moving a piece of hair out your face. “i’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me.”
you finally opened your eyes, he was already staring at you. “jake?” he hummed. “please kiss me.” he eyes widened. “a-are you sure?” you nodded. “please, i need to know.” you said. “need to know what?” he questioned. “i need to confirm if i still like you or not.
he wasted no time, gently holding your cheek. planting a sweet kiss on your lips. he pulled away, caressing your cheek, almost scared for your answer. “well?”
you closed your eyes like you were thinking. “hmm i don’t know, kiss me so i can see.” he sighed in relief, you chuckled. “did i scare you?” you said. “yeah you did.” he playfully pinched your side. “ow!”
he was the on cloud nine, you lied in his hand, you had fallen asleep shortly after, but he couldn’t sleep, so he just watched you, , you looked so pretty at the moment, he couldn’t help but replay the moment over and over in his head – he couldn’t believe it, he almost wanted to wake you up just to ask if he was dreaming.
“it’s rude to stare.” your sleepy voice pulling him out of his daze. “did i wake you?” he asked. “no, she’s up and she wants me to know she’s up.” you winced holding your stomach as you felt her kick. “she kickin?” you nodded.
he suddenly was face to face with your stomach. “hey, hey you in there.” you laughed. “your mom is trying to sleep right now, and you’re making it hard for her.” he said. “if she doesn’t get enough sleep, she becomes a monster.” you pinched the back of his neck , he winced, smiling, coming back up, kissing your forehead.
“you never answered.” he said, you looked at him confused. “you never answered i’d you liked me or not.” you laughed. “you’re still in my bed aren’t you? i don’t just let anyone in here.” you tapped his nose. “well i like you too.”
“of course you do, what’s not to like.” you yawned getting sleepy again. “go to bed.” you closed your eyes. “good night jakey.” he smiled.
“good night princess.”
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— ( taglist. CLOSED ) @j-wyoung @whoslai @cha0thicpisces @sunsunl0ver @wonyoungsvirus @omgtintarr @en-dazed @kwiwin @httpsrinrin @igotkpoops @enhaz1 @ahnneyong @electrobutterfly @nes-caf @beomgyusonlywife @jup1t3r-y30n @gyulune @ddazed-lhs @shuichi-sama @mixtape-racha @rikisly @ilikekpop-c @jenjnk @ilovehimyourhonour @peachyun02 @primroselover @sxurgrapes
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©️LUVYENI
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ovaryacted · 7 months
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Okay I’m home and chilled out, so I’m just gonna ramble about my thoughts/analysis that I keep having about perceiving Leon Kennedy as a sexual being. This might be long. I also want to reiterate that my word is not law, and everyone has their own hcs and stuff and that’s okay!
I know hard dom content is very popular across the erotica/smut medium as a whole. Rough sex has always been popular and trust me, I’m a fan too. But if I can be controversial for like two seconds, I don’t see Leon as a hard dom personally. Closest thing would be a rough daddy dom, but to me Leon always gave me someone who caters to their partner. He’s loving and affectionate, a little rugged and awkward sure, but nonetheless he cares and wants to give a good experience.
He studies his partner, learns about what makes them tick, what makes them moan, how their body responds to different stimuli. Leon is a perceptive human being, he observes things before fully handling them so he can take the best approach that gives him the best results. I think he’d approach sex the same way if he’s with someone that he cares for.
In a weird way, I also don’t think Leon is a sex god of sorts. He’d have to find the time and ability to actually experiment with different dynamics and kinks to figure out what he likes too. It’ll all be a learning process for him, but to me Leon is someone that prioritizes his partner’s pleasure above his own because that’s what gets him off. If you feel good, he feels good. He gets off on getting you off type of deal, that’s who he is.
I also think Leon’s sexual dynamics depend on where he is in his life. When he’s younger, he’s naive, grasping on to whatever makes sense so he’d be more inclined to letting someone else lead and show him things he wouldn’t know at first (hence why a lot of ppl write RE2 Leon as a sub). As he gets older, gets more experience here and there, he’d try building more of his own confidence and autonomy and realize he has the ability to take control. Consider RE4/ID/RE6, he’s smarter, more aged, more mature (it’s the trauma), so he’d be more able to take charge like others paint him out to be but I don’t think he’d be inherently “aggressive”, far from it really. He’s serious about communication and being vocal, because he has to hear whether or not he’s doing the right thing or he needs to tweak something for a better experience. He’s not selfish he’s a sweetheart, that I can stand ten toes on.
The period of time in Vendetta to me is where I would see the rough sex come out because he’ll be using it as a means of self harm. He wouldn’t want to hurt another person, but more so he doesn’t care about himself, so his actions will be considered “reckless” and he won’t realize the consequences of what he does until after it happens. He’s suicidal, depressed, an alcoholic, and exhausted with life…so whatever he does in the bedroom would reflect that. Leon would probably want someone to fuck him instead of the other way around, but what he says he wants vs what he really wants deep down would be considered two things. He says he wants the rough stuff and he’s detached when in reality he wants to be comforted and wants someone to treat him like a human being, not something to be discarded. He just wouldn’t vocalize that because he doesn’t think his wants or needs matter. You’d have to read him and dictate for yourself because he’s too ashamed of saying it out loud. (I will say Vendetta Leon is one of my favorite variations of him and he deserves all the love and safety his other versions get! He’s just an angst magnet lmao).
Now in DI and beyond, he has healthier relationship with things, probably more aware of his alcohol consumption and age, and possibly going to therapy. In a way, I think Leon at this age would be far more inclined to revert back to the way he was at 21, little childish, letting someone else lead because he finds safety in that. Many people believe submission assumes someone loses their power entirely, but the way I perceive it, it’s you being able to trust someone else to make decisions for you in your best interest.
So he would be very switchy as he gets he’s older, liking being submissive because that allows him to turn his brain off and let someone else take charge for him. He won’t have to make the choices for once, and either way so long as his partner feels good, he feels good.
As a dynamic character, this is just how I perceive Leon, and to me he’s more of a pleasure dom, and probably likes being dominated but it’ll take him a while to be comfortable in doing that after everything. Hence, why I want to write for sub Leon more, because I think he deserves to just feel safe in giving up control he never really had in his life.
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kishiar-la-orr · 8 days
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in defense of first game kishiar,
turning is a finely crafted story. kuyu makes sure to ground every single one of their characters to the world that they live in, the world the story happens in.
today (as always) i am gonna talk about kishiar, but more specifically kishiar and his relationship to mortality, recontextualizing the things he did in the first game and all. super special humongous gigantic thanks to @kouraissant for helping me with this and bearing with my nonstop kishiar and mortality thoughts!
a lot of the things i'll be talking about also involves a degree of personal experiences and maybe a healthy dash of self-projection. as a disclaimer, you don't have to agree with me on anything and everything, but i'd rather some of the more personal parts to not be responded to rudely or unkindly. i will not tolerate that, sorry.
usual kishiar & mortality tw: canonical suicide attempt discussion, canonical self-harm, canonical death. be wary of spoilers.
1TL = first game/pre-regression/first timeline 2TL = second game/post-regression/second timeline
kishiar is a really fascinating character and his relationship with mortality moreso. a lot of the things that kishiar does, in my opinion, is very much colored by his circumstances growing up, specifically being born with the knowledge that second, third, etc. imperial children tend to be die young as if having 'major defects' be it physical or mental (ch 109) and ended up having no power, remaining unmarried and bowing their heads their whole lives (ch 14).
that is to say, all his life, he surely knows he can die quickly and easily, almost anytime. it's true that for everyone, death does come suddenly, but in kishiar la orr's life, death is like a childhood friend you don't like but are forced to get along with. again, this colors his whole life. this is the kind of circumstances that forces you to mature really quickly, to learn to be expressive and speak your thoughts like it's your last day, but to also learn to hold your tongue and bow down your head because you're a prince and your words still have consequences beyond normal children's would. you're forced to accept that this is the kind of life you will live and the kind of death you'll be documented as. by all accounts, i think that the current kishiar is really good at managing social situations however tricky they are, the fact that he's a rizzmaster, part of all those also comes from being used to having to process things quickly because you don't have the time to even live, being used to having to be expressive because god knows when your last day will be.
given all that as a background information, let's reexamine the conditions of 1TL.
i'd like to first point out that in 1TL, the very health and life expectancy that he used to not have pre-awakening was already given to kishiar during the awakening. i'm not too privy yet with the circumstances during the two years since the fall of the red stone to the cavalry recruitment in early canon, unfortunately, but i'll assume it was also time spent preparing and not just in silence, maybe even preparing for the cavalry to be created or searching for a cure for keilusa as well (though this is just personal theory). even so, two years really isn't that much time? soon after his awakening and tasting good health and better life expectancy the first time in his life, 1TL red stone retrieval mission happened, which forced kishiar to withdraw the divine sword without him meaning to and regained him the same vessel issues he's always experienced his whole life, basically bringing him back to square one after giving him the one thing he's always wanted his whole life. it's like the universe telling him: "look at everything you could have once had. endless possibilities. none of them are yours. not anymore."
to me, after at least 600+ chapters of reading, kishiar's character's basis is his loved ones. almost all of his actions can be traced back to him doing it in alignment with the position he has (being a prince and a duke) and out of the love he has for nathan, keilusa, and other people in his life. to be brought back to square one, struggling once again with the same old vessel issues, except worse this time, because many of the past imperial children didn't even make it to age thirty (ch 109) while he was already 29 and he almost died once already because of this very same thing.
expanding on his past experience with vessel issues and his response to it, from chapter 602 and chapter 160, likely kishiar's condition was so bad he might as well be almost dead before the timely awakening happened and immediately was followed by his second gender manifestation. he probably thought it was for real his death happening, not a surprise. he cleared off everyone and attempted suicide by touching the divine sword. that he cleared off everyone can also be argued as a selfless action, wanting to keep the smallest person possible to witness his impending doom, in order to save his loved ones from the heartache of seeing him suffer, try to kill himself and/or die.
it can also however be seen as selfish. after all, who is it that loves you and wants you to kill yourself?
this is where we will have to reiterate some points: kishiar is someone who's good at processing and expressing emotions. he's also good at knowing how to hold back and when to hold back from expressing said emotions. he's also someone who is logical and reasonable. and i also want to introduce some new points, that is: the universal fact that a lot of mental strain and generally bad mental health often cause irrationality in people, even someone who's perceived as reasonable or someone who's good at emotions. spiralling is called spiralling for a reason.
from the point of view of reason, leaving your cavalry commander mantle to the hyper-competent guy you happen to love to death, watching him get inaugurated, constantly visiting him, and of course, the pethuamet fight (which yuder 2TL classified as kishiar self-harming) are all illogical. kishiar's 1TL actions cannot be called reasonable or logical because they aren't. they are irrational the same way you and i get irrational when we're in extreme emotional duress. can anyone really claim to be logical when the threat of death looms so closely you can't even see it clearly anymore?
let's talk about some more things, like how the commander uniform he personally tailored for yuder (ch 625) is seen as yuder as unnecessary. logistically speaking, it really is unnecessary, it's not like yuder needed a new uniform when he can just wear kishiar's old ones and it'd probably just need some adjusting to fit better? but then it is explicitly stated by 2TL kishiar as 'hoping the person will wear them and think about the person who made it.' (ch 626)
also on the same conversation, 2TL kishiar stated that the strongest fear he has ever felt was during the late emperor's funeral, the feeling of being powerless, how frightening it was to look at the reality in front of him while he could only imagine what would happen to him, keilusa and the country in the future (ch 625). and in chapter further back, he also stated that in the tactical game, in the event that his special piece is almost caught by the enemy before he can use it, he would 'take the initiative and put it out as a bait in front of the enemy' (ch 105).
it paints a picture of this: it's not that he wants to do all these things, it's that who knows how to deal with death and the mental strain that comes with it when there are no actionable steps you can take, nothing under your control? he has a history of harming himself too, as i said, with the suicide attempt. in kishiar's case, the self-harm and the manifestation/post-awakening incident when he tried to kill himself, everything feels a bit more like struggling to feel a semblance of control in a world that is out of his control, when even his body feels out of his control all his life.
really, all of the things that can be deemed illogical, like ruining his relationships with everyone just so they feel less pain when he dies or like selfishly leaving yuder a legacy to care for or constantly visiting yuder even after his retirement, it stems from the selfish and very human desires of wanting to keep the loved ones near while he has time, trying to wrestle for a semblance of control, trying to leave anything useful at all that is within his capacity to give towards his loved ones for when after he's gone, grappling with all of the complicated emotions and love and care he has that he can't even act on. it's made even more complicated when you remember that kishiar isn't even suicidal originally. he's like this because of the circumstances thrusted upon his hands, he's only driven to that point because maybe he too doesn't want to die a dogshit death.
the upside is just because it's illogical doesn't mean it's treated callously or looked down upon. 1TL kishiar's actions are written beautifully by kuyu and never in a negative light. yuder himself has gripes about 1TL kishiar, but never outright insulted or downplayed his influences. if anything, the way yuder thinks of 1TL kishiar's actions, especially after knowing the imperial family's vessel issues, is very sympathetic (ch 293). in the words of our friend baby potat aloo,
like: look at this man trying to wrangle with his own tragic fate as best as he can while people he cares about most and people who care about him are unfortunately subjected to the pain of passively spectating his self-destructive ways of trying to gain some semblance of control (thinking of nathan and uuder) and/or secretive plans that seem like the 'best' choice in his opinion. nonetheless it's still about love.
that has been a long discussion over kishiar and mortality, kishiar and his loved ones as the basis of his motivation for every action. but let's not forget to talk about yuder, the one he has an almost-electric connection, deep and soulful, to. in a way, chapter 291's kishiar dialogue line "i feel like i can live now" can be seen as something he says out of love for yuder, because yuder is one of his loved ones, one of the ones he treasures the most. but also you can see it as another control thing. he's there out of his own accord, he came there through the window without being seen out of his own choice and yuder always 'tolerated' the situation, never reporting it. we can argue these are games and rendezvous they both consented to.
next, let's discuss: this is what he said in chapter 46, right before his death:
"...I wonder where it all went wrong. Thinking about it, it seems like it was when we retrieved the Red Stone." "..." "Yes... That's right. It must have been then that everything started going wrong. But even knowing that, I couldn't stop it. Because I had no other choice."
it rings so much of hopelessness, of someone who can't do anything but imagine a universe where the only thing he wanted in life was ripped away from him the moment it was bestowed. and then immediately dismissing it because it doesn't matter when it's already happened and the only thing he can do now is, just like the dukes before him, bow down his head and await for his death.
in later chapters, we also come to know that he cleared off the entire building and it was nearing his birthday when the assassination took place. we can also argue that this is euthanasia or assisted suicide, the executioner and helper is the one kishiar loves the most, who doesn't even really want to kill him. rather than a dogshit death he didn't choose, 1TL kishiar arranged it so that he dies in yuder's hands, knowing that it'd change his relationship with someone he loved so much, to die like a euthanised dog, spared the pain of unattainable hopes. in a way, it's a curse on yuder's memories, good or bad, of him, in a way, it's an act of making yourself an open wound. this too isn't rational, similarly to the way he leaves a personalized clothing for yuder's inauguration and new status as the cavalry commander or the way he gave him a name, this is a way of leaving behind a legacy, a desperate act of wanting to be remembered by his loved ones.
so, what's the point of all of this? nothing, i'm just a kishiar shooter. but also, everything. because the miscommunication in 1TL isn't one that can be so easily solved by speaking up. it's something that's integral to the story plotline, caused by the story circumstances, it's a testament too to how good kuyu's writing is and the complexity of kishiar as a character. it is, unfortunately, not as simple as just say you love him before you die. that is my conclusion.
some more unrelated, but perhaps also fun points:
i truly think, like a true self sabotage, kishiar's actions as an attempt to feel some semblance of control only works against him, making him feel more powerless and out of control
also this is for sure why he's so invested in healing keilusa
to another degree, cavalry in 2TL becomes his purpose and one of the major factors of his identity (the way it was to yuder 1TL, which is a discussion for another time), so in 1TL, stepping down could arguably also be seen as a loss of both authority/power and responsibility, leading to an even more 'out of control' feeling, even if he was indeed the one to step down out of his own accord, like no one forced him
1TL yuder was looked down on as a male omega leader, not man nor woman, commonborn cavalry commander who slept his way up. a lot of the things he did, even down to his fighting style, was also, to a certain point, a way of fighting for power, to look powerful and gain authority and be feared, if not respected. at the same time, kishiar didn't die instantly. he committed a lot of actions (as said earlier) that felt more like a grappling with control, which is just another form of power/authority. in a way, you can see these two foiling each other at the moment, struggling with power over how ppl perceive you (yuder) vs struggling with power over how you perceive yourself (kishiar). which is also funny because turning is also a story about power to me, what-with the catalyst to all of canon's plot being the red stone, which granted power to the people living in turning's canon universe
thanks for reading!
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rebeccadewinterthinks · 8 months
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Good omens The Book of life Conspiracy theory Part 1
okay, firstly, i should say that it's gonna be a pretty long read so if youre ready, let's activate our Aziraphale detective mode and investigate!
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let's imagine the first season as a solid rock, standing firm, while the third season is something hidden in the mist. The second season, however, turned out to be strange, with many hints, unfinished thoughts, mirrors (in which everyone sees something of their own), and hanging lines (some call them Chekhov's guns). I like to imagine it as a shaky rope bridge, connecting the first season to the third. It stretches over an abyss, at the bottom of which sharp stones of fanatical quirks and fetishes await, it is littered with glass shards of viewers' hearts, and anyone who steps on it will inevitably slip on the damp traces left by those who tried to cross it before them. The wind of unrestrained fantasies, coming from the side of the ocean of theories, sways this already unstable bridge, making it almost impossible for any sensitive traveler to maintain their emotional balance and mental health.
my new investigation is based on very ephemeral grounds, so I try to hold on as tightly as possible to those almost invisible handrails that Neil has extended for us. I cling to any available clue, trying not to fall into the abyss, and after each careful step, I pause for a moment and catch my breath. Everything around is hidden in the mist.
1. Conspiracy
let's take a close look at the scene of Gabriel's trial [12:47 Ep.6].
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«I see. You're casting me down to Hell. Well, I accept my fate. Sometimes an angel just has to say, «Guys, enough.»
Gabriel is completely calm. It's not unexpected for him. He was prepared for the Fall and doesn't object. Why? Because Beelzebub awaits him in Hell, everything is fine. Probably, they had agreed in advance that they wouldn't stay in Hell but would simply escape when they had no other choice.
«Gabriel, you are not going to Hell…»
we carefully observe Gabriel's changing facial expression as Metatron reads the verdict to him.
he's nervous, he thinks quickly. And judging by how quickly he figured out what to do, he's not as dumb as he seems. OR he already had a plan prepared for such a situation.
«Uh, just one thing. This clothes are tailored. Can I keep wearing them?»
seemingly, this is not the most appropriate question right now. But it serves several purposes: a) distraction (see, I'm an idiot and only think about clothes) b) we know that there's a Fly in his suit c) he suspects that he will receive an answer, and he needs a pretext to materialize the Big Box without arousing suspicion.
«I'll just need to take off my clothes and clean out my desk, then. I'll be right back.»
if you listen carefully, you can sense the relief in his voice, and he smiles again.
now let's move on to the final conversation with Beelzebub [28:10 Ep.6].
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«– You. Thank you. – Silly-silly angel. Why? – I was coming to you… But I… forgot.»
it seems they really had a plan. Why does Beelzebub give him the Fly-container? They couldn't not understand that sooner or later either their relationship would be discovered or he would face consequences for refusing to start Armageddon. The Fly was part of the plan. Most likely, «Thank you» was said precisely for this gift. But if Beelzebub assumed that Gabriel would erase his memory, then what does «Why?» mean? Why did you come to the bookshop? Why didn't you come to me (as we agreed)? «I was coming (intended to come) to you, but my memory was already in the Fly, so I forgot where I was supposed to go.»
he was going to Beelzebub, but in the elevator, he went to Earth.
*** This theory was translated into English by me, but all the credits owned by the original author of the theory
the part 2 of the theory is here
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Hello, love your Haunted Mansion writings. But what would happen if the child did escape the mansion? Will a ghost follow them or will the Hatbox Ghost himself will? What will be the consequences?
I'm assuming you're talking about like, escaping escaping and not just leaving for a while and coming back. So, with that being said, I don't know how you managed to do it, but somehow, you did.
I think he would send a ghost or two to follow you at first: a tactic that usually worked in most cases when dealing with escaped mortals.
But . . . by the third attempt you haven't come back, then he'll have to hitchhike with you himself.
And trust me, neither you nor the ghosts of the manor want that to happen. Cause Alistair's gonna get real violent, real fast.
Since he's a much more powerful spirit, when he finds you, he will more than likely just grab you and take you back home: paying no mind to your kicking, yelling, begging to be let go, or crying.
As for consequences, he would probably lock you up somewhere dark and dingy for a few hours while he tried to calm himself down.
Once he finally does, he'll eventually let you out. You are still a dumb child. After all, who's prone to make rather unwise decisions.
So get ready for a rather long lecture. And you better behave because depending on how you react after that determines just how much of a living nightmare your stay at the manor will be from now on.
He'll give you a chance to do better, so don't take it for granted.
The ghosts of the manor would have it much worse:
The one's who fail to bring you back were punished severely, and from the way all of the ghosts acted , you would be able to tell they were even more frightened of Alistair than before.
I would hope you enjoyed the small time of freedom you had outside the mansion because Alistair would make sure you never stepped a foot outside it agian. . .
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acaciapines · 8 days
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obviously if you’re busy leave this alone but: your tag essay has made me VERY intrigued about Dess and Azzy’s relationship in this AU. Tell me about it?
(also, did you see they did an announcement about Starship Iris season 3? It’s finally gonna happen!)
okay IM HERE TO TALK LOL i will NEVER not talk about this au <3 uhhh under a cut bc. really i should just expect these get super long.
big important note up top: all of this is in! early stages! things are not fully formed and researched yet so please keep that in mind as you read this. ideas might change and will get deeper as i do more work for this au, but since rn im focusing on owl house most of these are my ideas i've had without time to do deeper dives into them.
okay so with asriel i've always sort of written him as this guy who like...has an idea of what is 'normal' in his head, ie, what society wants from people, and what it doesnt want, and he has tried his hardest his entire life to always fit into this box. (think about i know im not well--this is why he's always seen kris as a human. being nonhuman is abnormal and gets you punished in society. to an extent this is also how he views dess being aromantic.)
i think a lot of this comes from fear--asriel IS for sure contorting himself and actively harming himself to stay inside this narrow box of 'normal' (think of this as another sort of prophecy--these are all touching on the same themes). and he applies this same mentality to other people BECAUSE of this fear, because he doesnt want his loved ones to be hurt, to be punished, ostracized, etc by society--which are i wanna be clear VERY MUCH THINGS THAT HAPPEN--but in doing this he sort of just hurts the people he loves. because instead of being someone who rejects these boxes hes like. no we gotta be good and fit into the boxes and then everything will be okay.
so when it comes to dess, dess has always very much Done Her Own Thing, consequences be damned. partly this is who she is, partly this is hashtag undiagnosed and untreated mental illness, the onset of which happens around when shes 18 and everything is going down with the bunker (which is NOT helping at ALL). and so when dess comes back from the bunker asriel does very much go 'oh. shes delusional.' and proceed to be No Help At All.
and like, the thing is dess IS very much having a psychotic break. this bit is very much still in deep research (sidenote: anybody in my audience who has experience w/ these things. feel free to hit me up/dm me lol i'd love to talk through some of my ideas as a sort of preliminary sensitivity read, but of course only do this if you are up to it, no pressure lol bc again we're in early stages) but she has schizoaffective + bipolar disorder. dark worlds dont help with this, asriel SUPER doesnt help with this (he doesnt know her actual disorder--neither of them do, this is the onset of things. but tbf even if he did he Would Not Help asriel is essentially doing everything wrong here.) and what dess needs is literally one single person in her corner but the person who is supposed to be in her corner (azzy) is basically being like 'you are making this up' and shes like im NOT, and everything is all mixed together, terrible, bad, awful, and eventually everything culminates and. we know what happens.
(side note but this is why she and chara work real well together actually--chara gets her when asriel doesnt!!)
asriel never actually like. tells anybody about this though. in his head after its assumed dess and kris have died he sort of just. is like well this proves it. i cant let anybody else i care about go that far EVER AGAIN, because if i was a better friend i would've noticed and i wouldve stopped it and made dess "normal." (yes asriel sucks here. the focus is on the kids but. he's getting an arc. i do promise he will get better but. that doesnt really fix what he's done in the past.)
and all of this is like. it fucking sucks for the people around asriel. in hurting himself he's hurting his loved ones--it pushes dess away, and that relationship is never going to be the same. even when asriel realizes how he fucked up i dont think dess really forgives him. because if asriel had just believed her, or at least even if he didnt actually took her seriously and tried to help, shes like. things wouldve gone differently. and asriel knows this too.
and then when it comes to NOELLE, well. asriel's always been very overprotective of her. terrified the world is going to hurt her. and so when noelle starts experiencing things, things she cant tell if theyre real or not...
she doesnt tell him. she doesnt tell anybody. she keeps it all to herself, and this means its a hell of a lot easier for the player/red soul to manipulate her. and nobody finds out until its too late.
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mysaldate · 1 year
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Why Leona and Vil get treated differently – and why not everything is always about race
Yeah yeah, it’s been a long time since this discourse happened... not. Because apparently we’re beating this horse even after it’s deader than Cater’s clones. Somehow this stupid conversation keeps getting rekindled over and over and over and over again, and I’m just so tired so I’m just gonna put my thoughts down so that the next time I get caught up in it, I’ll have this post at the ready. Read at your own risk, this may trigger some people, especially those who claim the only reason anyone would ever dislike Leona is his skin color and not, you know, everything he does.
Leona’s murder attempt was pre-meditated. Unlike Vil, Leona spent quite a long time planning out everything he did in episode 2. He made sure the injuries happened in a way that couldn’t be linked back to him and that nobody could see Ruggie while he was using his unique magic. When it came to the actual murder, he even made a deal with Azul to ensure the event venue was set up in a certain way and that Ruggie got a potion to boost his magic before the whole thing started. Vil, on the other hand, snapped under momentary pressure, and didn’t spend weeks planning how to murder a rival over a competition.
Leona was ready to go through with it. I see a lot of people conveniently ignoring this but someone actually did die during Leona’s murder attempt – Cater’s clones did. Now, whether or not clone lives count as actual lives is irrelevant at the moment because all that matters is that Leona didn’t stop until there were bodies on the ground. Remember he watched the whole thing. He knew what was going on and when to stop. On the other hand, Vil immediately stopped the second a new element was introduced that snapped him out of whatever he was going on. Which brings me to my next point.
Leona acted with full clarity. Unlike Vil, Leona was fully in control the whole time. Vil was in a haze of reliving his past trauma, a haze that he snapped out of the second someone other than his target spoke to him. Leona, while motivated by past trauma, was fully in control of his actions.
Leona never showed any growth. This may be a controversial point for some people. And I understand that Leona is older than most of the other characters, however that does not make him stubbornly refusing to admit he did anything wrong any less jarring. Everyone showed tangible visible growth after their overblot, except Leona.
We are clear on what Leona wanted. With Vil, we never got a clear-cut confirmation that he was out for blood. We know something unsavory would’ve happened to Neige if he drank the apple juice, but truth is, it was never explicitly stated that he would die (if it was in EN, then just chuck that on the pile of things EN ruined). People just jumped to assuming murder because that’s what we’ve seen before and because Vil is associated with poinsons.
And when it comes to how their attempts were handled in-universe, let’s take a look at that.
Leona got called out by Lilia. It was vicious and rude, yes. Was it racist of Lilia to tear into Leona? No. No part of Lilia’s insults had to do with Leona’s race. He compared Leona with Malleus and evaluated which one of them has a personality more suited for a leader – the answer should be clear if you consider which one of them committed murder over a sports contest. This was also after Leona attempted to murder Lilia’s son, his son’s best friend, and a person he’s been taking care of for decades, or possibly even longer. Leona is lucky Lilia is no longer in his general days otherwise he’d likely be made into a throwrug, how handsome is up to your personal tastes. However, Leona’s call-out ended there with no further consequences other than being disqualified from the contest.
Vil got called out by nearly the entirety of the VDC group. Granted, it wasn’t that vicious or rude, but that’s because it didn’t get personal with anyone. Had he killed Neige, it wouldn’t personally affect any of the VDC group members. While Rook is a huge fan of Neige’s, that’s as far as it goes. However, Vil had lasting consequences from this lapse of judgement. You can find my full analysis of that mess here. That alone makes fans less eager to harp on him, since it at least feels like he got what he deserved – or possibly even more – while Leona gets to walk free with one verbal scolding.
Lastly, if you’re here to tell me to kms or harass me, do us both a favor and just click block and hide. I’ve got enough of that to the point where I just roll my eyes and block you back without it really affecting me. You’re just wasting your time as well as mine. You can think Lilia calling out Leona for murder was racist but at that point, you’re just willing to use skin color as a free get out of consequences card, and I have no desire to talk to people like that.
If you agree, feel free to share, if you’d like to respectfully debate, I’m 100% down for that too, just know that I tend to be pretty stubborn😅
Edit: If you are here to talk about wider fandom treatment of dark-skinned characters, that isn't what this post is about so please just make your own. This post is about a specific situation. Of course, there will always be bad people who judge people and characters based on skin color, but let's not act like everyone who dislikes Leona does so for those reasons. There's plenty of differences between his and Vil's situation that can make people like one and dislike the other without being racially charged. THAT is the point of this post.
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alexithykia · 25 days
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there’s the soft pitter patter of rain on the hotel room’s window; it’s odd and not often seen on the planet of festivities. with narrowed eyes watching the tracks that drops of rain make as they run down the window, aventurine wonders if it’s pathetic fallacy of the brunette curled up into his side or even worse, foreshadowing.
shaking his head, his eyes soften as he turns his gaze down to her. she’s remained quiet since they settled down an hour ago and he wishes he could hear what she was thinking, even if just for a moment. with a small noise, he rubs her shoulder to catch her attention. she’s sleepy, eyes half open as she tilts her head up to meet his eyes and he can’t help but smile— how didn’t he run out of all the luck in the cosmos when he snagged her?
“what are you thinking about, little bunny?” he murmurs quietly and she hums, shifting closer into his side as if she could - she’s already as close as possible. as if noticing this, aventurine’s bare hands guide her hips onto his lap, letting her tuck her head into his neck. for a moment he considers facing the consequences of backing out of the mission. would it kill him as much as leaving her would? he assumes not.
“i’m gonna miss you,” alexi mumbles finally, bumping her cold nose against his neck. aventurine finds it in him to chuckle despite the way her words tear apart his heart, “you’ll come back for me, won’t you?”
the blond goes quiet, drowning in regretful thoughts. he hadn’t told her half of what this mission really entailed, he’d merely stated that he was going away. it wasn’t a lie - he was leaving the penacony fabricated by the family, chasing after the real penacony but aventurine knew there could be a chance he doesn’t turn back. he knows there’s a chance the left side of her bed will remain empty in the dreamscape, that she’ll come back to reality with a mind full of anxiety. he knows that for the whole ordeal that aventurine collar around her neck won’t move a muscle, not unclasped once; not unless he does it for her and with him not around, she’ll refuse to take it off.
“of course i will, princess,” he finally speaks, noticing that dark blue eyes are looking up at him in worry. they glitter upon getting a response from him, “there’s a… good friend of mine currently staying on penacony that i’ve contacted in regards to keeping an eye on you until i get back so.. behave for him, okay?”
alexi nods enthusiastically but he notes how she’s fidgeting slightly, her pulse racing while his thumb drifts over her wrist. their last moment together is almost up, the clock on the wall ticking loudly in their ears as a constant reminder. aventurine curses himself mentally. she’s scared.
suddenly the brunette raises his left hand with hers, palms pressed together and aventurine furrows his brows in confusion. it wasn’t uncommon for alexi to compare their hand sizes but this wasn’t the circumstances he assumed she’d do it under, that is until her quiet voice speaks out into the hotel room.
“may the mother goddess thrice close her eyes for you,” she whispers, a sparkle in her eyes that unmistakeably are recognised as the sting of tears as aventurine’s brightly coloured eyes widen, “keeping your blood eternally pulsing.”
aventurine’s breath catches in his throat, quickly leaning forward to press his lips to hers desperately. he refuses to part their palms, his other hand gripping her hip as he tries to pull her closer— no, his luck must have run out getting someone like her, finally. the girl makes a small noise of surprise, their noses nudging each other when aventurine gets too desperate to convey just how much he loves her. he’s running out of time.
after a few seconds that leave them both lost for breath, he pulls back just the slightest, his lips still ghosting hers as he speaks, hot breath mixing with her pants for air, “may your journey be forever peaceful and your schemes forever concealed.”
despite the way tears are threatening to spill from deep sea blue eyes, alexi smiles a little, lacing the fingers of their pressed-togeher hands as she presses another kiss to his lips, less desperate and needy than his initial kiss.
when aventurine first took up this mission from diamond, he wanted an opportunity to cut free from past shackles and the ipc. he couldn’t have cared less if he returned or not, whether he was successful or not. he wanted the aventurine cornerstone’s light to die, to have some control of his life for once.
but he realises now that he does care if he returns or not. he may want to see the aventurine cornerstone dim but he will never want to see the light dim in her eyes; never want to see the day her collar comes off or see her put down his poker chip, the very one she carries everywhere with her as a good luck charm. because the more he thinks about it, that collar - and very much the young girl wearing it - are more important than his cornerstone will ever be to him.
he will return. he has to return. in the meantime, he can only pray to gaiathra triclops that she holds on for him - and that the doctor keeps his promise to take care of her in his stead.
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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year
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As I watched Blood Origin I took notes. They are silly and disjointed bullet points and here they are:
(My full review is HERE)
Ep One
Shit, that's intense. My bard is having a bad time.
Hi Minnie Driver!
Wait. Why would Geralt hate that? (were they saying he'd hate an elf being the first witcher? V confused. Why would he hate that?)
So Fjall was too slutty to be a bodyguard.
Glad pretty girl didn’t get punished for helping the little girl.
Hmmm the princess doesn’t want to just be a baby factory. Word. I get it.
Michelle Yeoh!!!!
Wow the princess really flat out murdered her brother.
Girl, you don’t get a nation when you kill their king it’s not that simple.
MICHELLE YEOH I hope we get to see more of that.
Ep 2
Is she talking to her hammer? I love her already.
Fjall and Éile are they tied by destiny? How?
I juuuuuuuuust realized that sellswords don’t sell swords in the literal sense. I don't know why I thought that. This is all making a lot more sense.
I like the failed romance in the beginning. Hey folks, even if you fall in love with a brother murdering evil chick, life goes on. Second chances, etc. etc.
If they kill off Scían this fast I’m gonna be annoyed
Oh Hi Avallac'h. Avallac'h is like ummmmmm I’m regretting this shit (he is just a babby)
Merwyn is determined to survive, I like that. I like that in my evil women.
Eredin has a knife to a hotties throat saying 'you fucked me'(gaygayhomosexualgay?)
Oooooohhhhh
Actual real gay
Nice
Yes. Welcome to the family Eredin.
Brother Death called Fjall Square jaw-all the flirting! (Fjall is very flirt-withable imo)
Holy fuck Éile burning folks. That's hardcore, girl. Good thing that you ran away.
Winterberry and lilac CREEPY but revenge cool. Also, LILAC AND GOOSEBERRIES
Uh oh is Balor giving her those kids. That's rude.
I assume true sacrifice comes from within means Balor has to kill someone he cares about. If I was that girl with him I'd be pretty worried right now.
Eredin done in by the most obvious “spy” who literally ran right into him. He’s dickmatized or something. Himbo?
DONT TOUCH EILE YOU FUCKERS
Ep 3
Yesss love Meldof YET AGAIN
Poison a sheep and feed it to it, yes reference to the books.
Wow, girl (Zacare I looked it up) is throwing that “not really family” in his (Syndril, I looked it up) face fast ain't she. Found family gets lost fast when shit gets real.
Solryth? Is this empress chick talking to the brother she killed??? Girl? Do you think he wants to hear from your ass??? He's in the great beyond cursing your name.
Awww Fjall being protective
Even if you fell into a bucket of tits you’d come up holding a cock (is Meldof calling him gay?)
Ooooo no secret entrance?!?! Damn you Fjall. Just full of piss and vinegar barreling forward with nothing but guts and good cleavage.
Awwwww I love that the mage sees him as he is.
Éile sings
Such pretty voice Fjall is down bad.
As he should be, as am I.
Girl, he is not gonna let you be the first witcher. Not after you sang that. Please be real.
I love an 'end of the world about to die shag and party' episode.
We gettin a witcher, folks.
Ugh I hope Scían doesn’t betray them. I think she’s just getting them a way in tho.
Empress really thinks she’s gonna hit it again with Fjall? THIS CHICK. LMAOOOO She just has no concept of her actions having consequences does she.
She looks hella cool in her fancy armor tho.
She’s actually quite good at this. Making deals. Knowing what people want and offering it to them.
Yeah he’s gonna kill Fenrik I knew that from when he killed the kids
Ep 4
Avalac'h is a sad lil loser boy pobrecito
Eredin thinks he won’t risk Fenrik? You a dummy hunny
I woulda given Avallac'h more time rather than run back to Balor. I mean he's just a babby, he's gonna be badass folks.
Oh no he's hulking out. Look out empress girl.
“You’re a monster”
UH OH BETA RUN GRL BETTA RUN he kills those things now.
Why are his eyes black? Potions make eyes black?
OH YOU DUMMIES YOU THINK SCÍAN CANT TAKE TWO OF YOU?? FOOLS
Damn, lark. Éile really broke down the difference between a feminist and a girlboss to Miss Empress then stuck her. That was a clever way around making her badass but not 100% a murderer.
Balor killed that soldier for zero reason. This is just not a good person.
WOOPS HULK BOY Sun's gettin real low.
Wow Éile is pregnant? I thought that witchers were sterile. Maybe that's a thing the mages did.
I already knew Ciri was her descendant because people on twitter were shitting their pants because the actress is Black. I mean, don't they know how genes work? You can get a blondie in that span of time? Its centuries? And her child's already gonna be half Fjall, so idk, people cannot be normal about Black women I cannot fathom it.
And there's Mr. Joey again, we always love to see him.
The end. That was fun. Might watch again.
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shrinkthisviolet · 2 days
Note
Gonna talk about a deep cut: in that very moment when i love him (i destroy him), a Peter & Otto fic I wrote after playing the first Spider-Man Insomniac game!
Peter & Otto is such a special relationship to me, I love it so much. The friendship, camaraderie...and the betrayal! They really make you hope that Otto can somehow avoid his fate, they get you attached to him, and that’s a remarkable thing. But you can’t...because not only is he doomed to become Doc Ock, but also...he's already tumbling down that path before he puts on the neural interface. Even before the game begins.
This is something that this video essay brings up, something I hadn’t even considered before (and really, that video essay is the main inspiration for this fic). Because of course, the most common mainstream telling of Otto’s story is in Spider-Man 2, when he is indeed a good man corrupted by the neural interface. But here...the sheer scope of his plans by the time Peter finds them means he's been orchestrating things from the very beginning. He was falling down the path before we even knew it—and of course, it’s because of his grudge against Norman Osborn that began when they experimented on Martin Li, a grudge that burst into bloom when Norman cut Otto’s lab funding.
So that’s key point #1.
The same video essay linked above brings up the idea of short-term vs long-term consequences, and how Peter will always make the choice that has benefits in the short-term (minimizes short-term consequences), and then take on all the blame for any negative consequences (as someone who falls into this trap a lot in my own life, that hit hard). Even with Otto, he says, “how did I let this happen?” Maybe if he got to the lab earlier, checked the machines better, paid more attention...
But a) he’s focused on the short-term (for the sake his own peace of mind, he has to be, but this is a flawed approach, his fatal flaw), which just keeps coming, and b) as mentioned before, Peter couldn’t save Otto, because he mistakenly assumes the trouble started with the neural interface. It didn’t—it started before, though ofc when exactly it started is unclear. It’s not something Peter could’ve saved him from, in any case. He realizes that here:
“Please, Peter,” Otto begged, “that wasn’t me!”
But it was. Peter knew it was. He wanted to throw it in Otto’s face: the files, the plans, all the stuff he’d found. That anger…it wasn’t simply occasional experimental frustration like Peter had initially thought. It was genuine rage and impatience…and Peter had been too naive to see it.
(Though ofc he still blames himself 🥺)
And that’s the focus of this fic, really: the scene where Peter walks away from Otto, but expanded. What’s Peter thinking during that scene? How does he reconcile it with May “when you help someone, you help everyone” Parker? Well...this is how:
When you help someone, you help everyone, May often said. But she also always stressed the importance of self-care, first and foremost. It was worth putting in the effort to try, she said, but you had to know when the effort was futile. When it was time to cut your losses.
Peter had never thought he’d encounter someone like that. Someone he was so desperate to help, who rejected all attempts for him to do so but fooled him into thinking he had a chance. Someone who wormed his way into his heart and shattered it bit by bit, until all he had left was a hole in his chest filled with shards.
Peter hates cutting his losses. But here...after trying throughout this fight scene and subsequent conversation to save Otto...he has to. Even as Otto begs him to come back and help him…Peter walks away. Though of course...he’s still Spider-Man. So what does he promise Otto?
“I’ll do everything I can,” he choked out, “to make sure you get the best care.” That, at least, he could promise. He did it for his Rogues, he could do it for Otto too.
Even now, he shows Otto compassion. He promises Otto will have the best care. Because that’s who Spider-Man is…even to the enemies that stab him in the back so viciously. Especially when, in their lowest moments, those villains still fall back on their bad habits and prove how little remorse they truly feel:
“And of course,” Otto continued, seeming relieved suddenly—probably something in Peter’s face, Otto had always been able to read him so, so easily, “you’ll rest easy, knowing your secret is safe with me.”
Because Peter lives by a creed. And most importantly, he and Otto have some key differences:
He lived by that philosophy of responsibility, by his uncle’s last words: with great power comes great responsibility. And for a time, he’d thought Otto believed the same. And maybe he did.
But Peter would never ever make the mistake of thinking the people of New York were in any way beneath him. Him having superpowers, saving them…it wasn’t out of any sort of arrogance or superiority. It wasn’t because he believed himself to be more than them.
It was because he believed them to be capable of more. Because, where most people looked around the city and saw lost causes and corruption and fear, he saw potential and hope and life.
What sort of hero would he be if he didn’t protect that life?
Otto believes in “doing what’s best for those beneath [him].” Peter believes in helping everyone, no matter what.
So this fic really ended up being part-Peter & Otto exploration, part-Peter/Spidey character study, based on some of the ideas presented in a stunning, moving video essay (linked in the 3rd paragraph). And I love it to pieces 💞
director’s cut ask game!
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Text
"Wishing it Wasn't" by kazoosandfannypacks
Chapter 14/18: Something to Believe In Pairing: CaptainSwan Rating: Teen Word Count: (1K/19.5K) Summary: Season 2 Canon Divergence: When Neal tells Emma he has a fiancée, she claims to have a new boyfriend of her own, and blurts out the first fairytale name she can think of: Captain Hook. Killian agrees to this ruse, but when feelings grow between the two, will the con be more than they can handle? Chapter Summary: Killian rushes to Emma's side to let her know he believes in her, but he may be the only one who does- which will come with dire consequences Tags: season 2, canon divergence, gun violence, angst with a happy ending, fake dating, mild character death, mildly anti neal Author's notes: While writing this fic, I sent snippets of this scene to my best friend, basically explaining how I left Greg unconscious and handcuffed to a pipe and in that draft I'd never resolved that. I found out forty five minutes later that I had instead sent that information to our camp's discord server. Our camp director's name is Greg. Anyways enjoy this chapter lol someone had better 😅 Taglist: @zahara @kmomof4 @jonesfandomfanatic @booksteaandtoomuchtv @jrob64 @tiganasummertree @anmylica @teamhook @undercaffinatednightmare @gingerchangeling @lonelyspectator @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @cs-rylie @pirateprincessofpizza @pawshapedheart [if you'd like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!]
Also on Ao3!
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 Killian fumbled about with the handcuffs. He would've assumed the hard part of this job was dragging the unconscious man to a pipe in the wall to cuff him to, but instead he found that it was getting these blasted handcuffs around his wrists- not that they were difficult to use, even with one hand, but he was rushed, and frantic, because he heard the kerfuffle going down just around the corner, and he couldn't let Swan go through it alone again.
 "They don't believe her." He yelled through a whisper as he dragged the cuffs around a pipe in the wall then attached one end on Greg's other wrist. "They don't believe her!"
 He ran down the hall as fast as he could, knowing that Emma needed him- or, at the very least, she needed someone to believe in her, just some reminder that even when she felt like they all turned their backs on her- again- she wasn't alone.
 Admittedly, it seemed a compromising position he found Swan in- wielding a crowbar like a weapon while her ex's fianceé wept in his arms. Still, Killian ran in and stood by Emma's side.
 "I believe you." Killian said.
 Sure, she already knew he trusted her in this- he was the one who revealed it to her, after all- but she looked up at him, looked at him like he was some kind of safe haven, a haven of hope.
 "Emma's telling the truth," Killian added, "and you'd do well to trust her."
 "Oh yeah," Neal said. "Like I'm gonna trust you over the woman I love."
 His statement didn't matter to Killian- he was used to being insulted like that, used to not being trusted- but the verbal attack ricocheted right into Swan, right through her heart- watching the man she loved not believe her, then hearing him confess his love for another.
 "She's playing you, Neal!" Killian tried to reason. "She wants to get rid of all the magic in the realm and kill all of you to do it."
 "And how would you know that, pirate?" David asked.
 "She told me her whole plan." Hook said, ignoring David's usual judgments of him. "Thought I was on her side. But if I'm to get my revenge on the Crocodile, I'll do it on my own terms, and I'll fight fair."
 "I don't believe you." Neal said. "Either of you."
 "Dad?" Emma asked.
 Killian as well turned to David, hoping he would listen to his own daughter.
 "I'm sorry, Emma." David said. "We'll look into this later, but for now we should let Tamara go. She's had a troubling day already, I'm sure…."
 "No!" Emma said.
 "Emma." David responded, like a father correcting an insolent child. "We'll work this out. Calm down."
 "No," Emma said. "You're making a mistake."
 Killian watched Neal embrace Tamara, then walk away together.
 "We'll get this worked out once we get some more evidence, figure out what's going on…."
 "That won't be happening."
 This time it was Tamara who interrupted him. She pulled a gun out of a concealed jacket pocket and pushed Neal aside, back towards the rest of the group, gun pointed at all of them.
 "What are you doing?" Neal asked.
 "Can't have any loose ends, and the savior and the pirate know too much," Tamara said.
 Killian stepped in front of Emma, shielding her from Tamara.
 "But if I just take care of them," Tamara said, "it'll draw suspicion. Gotta finish the set. Might even buy us a little time."
 "Tamara?" Neal asked, sounding broken. "What are you doing?"
  "I have to keep magic out of this world, Neal." Tamara said. "It doesn't belong here."
 "You've been lying to me?" Neal asked.
 "Duh." Killian interjected.
 Neal ignored him. "How long have you been lying to me?"
 "Since the beginning." Tamara replied. "That coffee spill wasn't an accident."
 "You planned it all?" Neal asked. "None of it was real?"
 "I had a job to do." Tamara said. "An important one. Surely you understand, Magic is dangerous."
 "I won't let you do this." Neal said. "Not if Storybrooke goes down with it. I've got family here."
 "Good luck getting back to them." 
 "Back?" David asked.
 "Can't have any loose ends, and I'm not about to clean up messes."
 She reached into her pocket- and Killian knew what she kept there- a magic bean stolen from the dwarves' growing efforts. Using a bean for an escape didn't make sense- unless they were the ones she wanted to escape, through a portal made for them. And without them in the way, Tamara and Greg could pull off their scheme without difficulty- and that would be the end for Emma's family.
 "No!" Killian yelled. He ran at her to try and stop her, but forgot to take into account one thing- the gun Tamara was holding- and the bullet inside, the bullet that was quickly outside it- the bullet that quickly found its way into Killian's chest.
 He almost felt the shot before he heard the gun fire, almost didn't know what it meant until he hit the floor. He heard Swan call his name as he tumbled back, felt the blood pooling on his shirt. And he knew what would come next- she and the others would try to help him, a portal would open at their feet, and they'd lose any chance they had at saving the town. There was no way he could die knowing that his sacrifice meant the death of Emma's family.
 Fighting every instinct to scream in pain and call for help, he tried to get them to run from him.
 "Get back!" He said. "She's got a bean!"
 Before anyone could question him, he heard the subtle clatter of the bean against the floor, and could already feel its woosh, pulling him in, hoping his death would be alone, that the heroes wouldn't be pulled in with him, that they'd get to Tamara in time to save the day.
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sweetlymawd · 2 years
Text
Unexpected
H4nk finally gets what he wanted, or does he?
(Prepare yourselves. This is a long one. And probably my stupidest fic yet. Also, please make sure you’ve read all the previous fics on this account before this one.)
<- Previous (Midnight Snack)
Next (Safe with Me) ->
Days had passed. Over the course of those days, D0c had been trying to keep S4nf0rd and D31m0s on track with their new diets. Their bodies had absorbed all of those calories from the Bakery incident and turned them chubby. And so the diet D0c placed them on was meant to steadily burn them all off. However, they also had bigger appetites, as evidenced by D0c catching them after a binge every once in a while.
As for H4nk, he was on his own diet. He would steal his teammates’ scraps and eat until he was stuffed once a day every day. He was able to eat a little more each time, evidence that his stomach was slowly stretching. It didn’t come without consequence, though, as a small but still noticeable bit of pudge had formed on his belly. So to hide it, he began wearing his jacket and belts as much as possible. And even then, a keen eye could still tell the change in his figure.
But he had to keep going. He was going to know that feeling.
One day, D0c had sent H4nk out to steal documents from the Agency. It was originally D31m0s and S4nf0rd’s job, but they couldn’t go out unless they were back in shape, leaving H4nk to do all the heavy lifting. He placed the documents in the inside pocket of his (now bloody) jacket and began walking back to the car he stole when his stomach growled. Oh yeah. It was getting late and he had missed his usual daily binge. He was more than a little hungry.
H4nk got into the car and, while driving, noticed a Burg3r G1l’s right in the corner of the next intersection. D0c wouldn’t kill him if he was a little late, he thought. He drove up and parked the car next to the building. He couldn’t wait to fill up on tasty burgers.
But when he opened the door to the restaurant, someone was in front of the counter. It was Tr1cky. Even worse, the bell had rung, alerting him of H4nk’s presence. They stared at each other in silence. Then H4nk slowly shut the door. He bolted.
“HI, H4NK!” Tr1cky popped out of nowhere.
H4nk almost yelped, turning around and getting in the car to drive off. He turned the key.
“SO WHERE ARE YOU DRIVING, H4NK?”
H4nk turned his head to see Tr1cky in the backseat.
“GET OUT!”
“OKAY, OKAY! CLOWN IS GETTING OUT!” Tr1cky said as he left the car.
H4nk sighed as he switched the gear to reverse and started backing up.
“WHY ARE YOU LEAVING WHEN YOU JUST GOT HERE?”
The clown was in the front seat. H4nk stopped.
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M JUST TRYING TO GET FOOD!”
“SO IS CLOWN! WHY ARE YOU MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS?”
H4nk groaned, pulling back into the parking space.
“HEY, LET’S JUST GET OUR FOOD, OKAY?”
H4nk switched the car off. “Fine.”
The both of them got out of the car and went back into the building. The server behind the counter was shivering.
“Uh… uh… w-what order… would like you?”
The server then facepalmed.
“CLOWN WANTS TWENTY DOUBLE BURGERS WITH FRIES AND PIES AND MILKSHAKES!”
“TWENTY?! I-I-I mean, uh… right away, sir. I a-assume this is for the both of you?”
“NOPE, JUST ME. WHADDAYA WANT, H4NKY?”
“Stop calling me that.”
H4nk got to thinking. Tr1cky was right there. If he binged here, the clown would take advantage of his weak state. But then if he missed a day, his stomach might go back to the way it was, putting him back at square one. H4nk didn’t know what to do.
“UH, HELLO?” Tr1cky was waving his hand over his face. “IS H4NK THERE? IS HE GONNA SPEAK?”
“U-uh… the same for me.”
Tr1cky gave him a surprised look.
“WHAT?!?!” the server practically screamed. “YOU EXPECT ME TO COOK—“ He remembered who he was talking to. “A-a-ahem. Pardon me. I’ll have your orders ready ASAP.”
The server went straight to the kitchen. H4nk and Tr1cky kept standing in front of the counter.
“You might wanna s-sit down. This could take a while…”
Then the two of them were alone.
“SO WHERE DO YOU WANNA SIT?”
“By myself.”
“OOH, THAT BOOTH’S OPEN!” Tr1cky pointed. He then slid into his seat.
“No one else is here, clown. All the booths are open.”
H4nk walked to the booth on the other end of the room and sat down. Almost immediately afterwards, Tr1cky walked over and sat opposite of him.
“You had a perfectly fine seat over there, you know.”
“YEAH, BUT CLOWN LIKES THIS ONE BETTER.”
“Ugh, there’s just no getting rid of you, is there?”
Tr1cky just stared.
“Uh… what?”
“SOMETHING’S DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.”
The clown was catching on.
“…What’s different?”
Tr1cky scooted around the table, closer to H4nk, who protested.
“Hey, back off.”
“ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING?”
“No. I said back off.”
“YEP. YOU’RE HIDING SOMETHING. IT’S JUST UNDER YOUR JACKET.”
Tr1cky reached a hand, trying to fiddle with H4nk’s belt. H4nk grabbed Tr1cky’s hand.
“HEY! HANDS OFF!”
“ONLY IF YOU SHOW ME!”
H4nk sighed for the hundredth time that day. “If I show you, will you leave me alone?”
Tr1cky nodded.
“Fine. Back it up. Don’t tell ANYONE about this.”
The clown nodded again. H4nk undid his belts as Tr1cky watched intently. He opened his jacket.
“…YOU’RE PUDGY.”
What was hiding underneath H4nk’s jacket was straining pants and a soft belly that poked out from under his shirt. His face was red under his mask.
“Yeah. I’m pudgy.”
“…CAN CLOWN—“
“No. No touching.”
They kept sitting in silence.
“…CLOWN GETS IT NOW! YOU’RE A FEEDEE!”
“Wh— no! I’m not a feedee.”
“YEAH YOU ARE! WHY ELSE DID YOU ORDER SO MUCH?”
“W-well that makes you a feedee too.”
“YEAH, YOU LIKE FILLING UP YOUR TUMMY AND GETTING BELLY RUBS AND GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER AND BIGGER AND—“
“So what if I’m a feedee?! What’s it to you?!”
“OH, CLOWN JUST LIKES HOW IT FEELS.”
“…I can see that.” H4nk referred to Tr1cky’s body, in which the fact he was half naked made his rolls of fat very visible.
“AND CLOWN HAS MY REASONS.”
The clown began giggling, H4nk not understanding why until he felt Tr1cky’s fingers poke and pinch his belly. H4nk swatted his hand away.
“HEY! I said no touching!”
“HEEHEE, YOU’RE SO SOFT.”
Then a rumble could be heard, coming from Tr1cky’s stomach.
“HEY, ARE THOSE BURGERS DONE YET?!”
The server yelled from the kitchen. “BE PATIENT, ASSHOLES, THEY’RE ALMOST DONE!”
Several minutes passed since then. Finally, the server brought them all the food they ordered, pushed on a cart.
“You guys better enjoy this. Because I quit.” The server removed his hat and apron, placed them on the counter, and went to the door. “Lock up when you’re done!”
The ex-server left as H4nk and Tr1cky began digging in. Less than a minute went by before Tr1cky had already finished his first burger.
“MM. THESE ALWAYS TASTE SO GOOD.”
“Uh, they taste more like pork than beef.”
“HUH. NEVER NOTICED,” the clown said after another burger slid down his throat.
The two of them kept eating, tearing burgers apart, munching on fries. But it wasn’t long before H4nk suddenly stopped.
Tr1cky noticed. “H4NK? WHAT’S WRONG?”
“This is too much…”
“YOU’RE ALREADY FULL?”
Tr1cky scooted back over to H4nk, where he got a good look at his belly. It was swollen quite a bit, but not enough to pop the button off his pants.
“COME ON, H4NKY, YOU CAN FIT MORE THAN THAT!” The clown grabbed another burger, holding it up to H4nk’s face. “HERE. HAVE SOME MORE.”
H4nk hesitated. He opened his mouth to speak, but then Tr1cky pushed the burger in. He took a huge bite. Once the rest of the burger was fed to him, he heard a ping. His button had popped, further exposing his belly.
“NOW YOU’VE GOT MORE ROOM!”
“I-I’m… I’m so full… but I want more…”
“DON’T WORRY, H4NKY! CLOWN WILL HELP YOU EAT! DOES THIS FEEL ANY BETTER?”
H4nk’s face flushed. Tr1cky was rubbing his belly. Now, he tried to keep reminding himself that this was Tr1cky, his enemy, and he could just eat him at any point. But it all just felt so good. The easing pressure on his tummy earned a small belch out of him. Tr1cky giggled.
“HEEHEE, YOU LIKE IT, H4NKY?”
“…Uh… uh huh…”
“STILL WANT MORE?”
“Yeah…”
“OKAY!” The clown once again grabbed another burger. “OPEN WIDE…”
The two were joined by the hip, Tr1cky pushing burger after burger into H4nk, who focused on swallowing each one. Every few minutes, Tr1cky took the time to ease whatever stomach pain H4nk had. Soon, all twenty of his burgers were gone. Followed by all the fries, both his pies, and both his milkshakes. H4nk was stuffed to the brim and bloated beyond belief.
“HUUUUUORRP!!! Ugh… can’t believe… ate it all…”
Tr1cky was rubbing H4nk’s super-stuffed tummy with both hands. “SEE, YOU DIDN’T EXPLODE! HOW DOES IT FEEL, H4NKY?”
“…I—…… I’m……….. gonna………”
Besides his tummy loudly gurgling, there was nothing but silence.
“H4NK?”
Tr1cky looked up to see that H4nk had passed out.
~~~
H4nk woke to a strange feeling he couldn’t describe. As his eyes adjusted, he found that he was in a strange room, laying on a mattress on the floor. Then he heard snoring coming from right behind him. And he felt something on his back. And around his waist.
He had woken up in Tr1cky’s place, and he had slept with him while the clown had his hands around his waist, spooning him.
“Clown.”
“……HUH….. H4NKY…?”
“GET OFF OF ME!!!”
H4nk pried himself from Tr1cky’s grip, getting up off the mattress. Tr1cky sat up, staring up and down at H4nk’s figure.
“H4NK…”
“…What?”
Tr1cky kept looking down, then back up. H4nk then looked down at himself.
“…No…”
He, like Tr1cky, only had his boxers on, revealing just what his huge binge did to him. His belly was hanging over his waistband. His thighs jiggled as he walked and were being hugged by his boxers’ pant legs. There was a cracked mirror leaning against the wall. As H4nk approached it, it confirmed that what he was seeing was real.
“…I’m… f—… fa—…”
He was suddenly hugged from behind.
“YOU’RE SO CUTE AND CHUBBY!!!”
“JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY!!!” H4nk tried to shake Tr1cky off, but the clown’s grip tightened.
“OH, H4NKY, LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE SO MUCH BIGGER NOW!” One of Tr1cky’s hands squished H4nk’s tummy. H4nk felt the clown lean his head into his back. “AND SO MUCH SOFTER…”
H4nk groaned. “This is all your fault, clown…”
“HUH? BUT DIDN’T YOU WANT THIS?”
“I never wanted this. Any of this!”
Tr1cky moved away from H4nk’s back, standing beside him as they both stared into the mirror.
“WELL WHAT DID YOU WANT, H4NK?”
“…I… I just wanted to str—“
H4nk didn’t get to finish his sentence. His stomach grumbled loudly.
“OH. YOU’RE HUNGRY AGAIN. NOT SURPRISING.” Tr1cky gave H4nk’s belly a few pats. “HEY, CLOWN KNOWS A PLACE THAT’S GOT SOME YUMMY ICE CREAM… WANNA TRY IT?”
H4nk’s increased appetite won over his fear of the clown. “…Uh, okay. Sure. Just let me get my clothes.”
H4nk grabbed his pants off the table, put his legs through, but couldn’t pull them up all the way.
“Great.”
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sunny6677 · 2 years
Text
THE AUDIO LOGS OF ANDREW HUDSON.
SUMMARY: The following are real audio tapes of tapes left by an animator at the forgotten studio Joey Drew Studios. Please ensure that you are ready to listen with these with caution, dear listener. What you may hear may cause you to never want to hear again. What you may picture may make you never want to see again. Please be aware of the consequences you may have if you do not have permission to listen to these tapes. If not permitted, then [REDACTED]. You have been warned.
(This is fiction btw, so no worries-- I know some people with anxiety issues might think this is real so this is just a clarification.)
TW FOR CHAPTER/TAPE: NONE.
TW FOR SERIES: MANIPULATION, TRANSFORMATION, UNHEALTHY MINDSET, OBSESSIONS, CULTS, CULT MENTIONS, MURDER.
--------------------------
TAPE #4.
THE VOICE OF WALLY FRANKS AND ANDREW HUDSON.
2 HOURS AFTER THE THIRD TAPE.
--------------------------
W: "Okay, get this— so I'm walkin' around and doin' my rounds like I always do, right? When outta the blue, Sammy comes outta nowhere and starts hollerin' me as if I ain't already 2 feet away from 'em! I says, "Jeez, pal! What's got you in a twist?" He says, "These damn ink—..." What was that?"
[SILENCE FOR 2 SECONDS.]
W: "Hey, hello?"
[ANDREWS VOICE IN THIS PART OF THE RECORDING SOUNDS FAINT.]
W: "Oh, ay, pal— what'aya doin over there?"
A: "Eh, I'm on break, what el—"
W: "What— what's all the garbage doin' in those hands o'yours? Ain't that my job?"
A: "Yeah, yeah, but I ain't gonna let ya clean something as crazy as this shit. You'd think these guys are raccoons with how messy they are, I'm tellin' ya!" [ANDREWS VOICE BECOMES SLIGHTLY LOUDER.]
W: "Bu— buddy, ya ain't have to do all that! I can take care o' the garbage myself! Here, come— come over here, pal."
A: "Oh—pal, I picked these up myself— I'm not makin' ya do all the shit just 'cuz your the janitor 'round here. I feel okay with helpin' a pal out every once and a while, ya don't have to worry too much."
W: "Well, yeah, I know! But'cha ain't gotta do my job for me. Sure, your kinda makin' my job a lil' easier, but ya ain't gotta do it all for me. I'm sure it ain't exactly easy for ya either, bud."
A: "I'd assume it ain't easy for you either, though— so even so, I'd say it's worth it."
W: "Wha— okay, pal, that ain't how it wor—"
A: "Oh, yeah, speakin' o' which, I wanna get to know ya more! So I'm invitin' ya down to that local diner down town, my treat!"
W: "Wha— this soon! Bu— buddy, hey, we haven't even—"
A: "Oh, nonsense, you'll love it! It's never too late to get to know someone, especially when they're cool as hell like you, man!"
W: "Co— cool as—"
A: "Yeah, pal! Your pretty fuckin' awesome— especially considerin' ya deal with this shit everyday! I mean, if I were in charge o' cleanin' duty, I'd practically fuck everythin' up no matter how much I was tol—"
[FAINT THUDS OF OBJECTS FALLING ARE THEN HEARD.]
W: "Heh, I can tell.. n— not to sound rude or an—"
A: "Oh, I know, don't worry! I suck at cleanin', it's pretty obvious! Can't rely on me to clean shit, I'd probably be the worst butler or janitor to ever live if I ever became one! Which is why—"
[THE SOUNDS OF THINGS BEING PICKED UP ARE HEARD.]
A: "I became an animator! Cuz I sure as hell can do that as better than I can clean."
W: "Huh, well— I'd like to see your animations sometime, buddy. But ya gotta believe me, pal, I might not be able to—"
A: "Anyway, I'm gonna be goin' now, probably gotta get back,to my animatin' before Joey hollers after me like I ain't already 2 feet away from 'em. Uhh— I'll make sure this shit ends up in the garbage where it needs to be, I'll let ya know if there's any more later."
W: "Wh— bu—"
A: "Toodles!"
[RAPID FOOTSTEPS ARE HEARD APPROACHING AWAY FROM THE AUDIO LOG, AUDIBLE HUMMING FROM ANDREW IS HEARD; BUT IT DOES NOT APPEAR THAT WE CAN CONCLUDE WHAT TUNE HE WAS HUMMING.]
W: "I, uh.. [sigh].. ya know, if peoples 'round here don't stop interruptin' me, I'm outta here."
---------------------------
NOTES: THE FOUNDATION CAN CONCLUDE FROM THIS TAPE THAT WALLY DID NOT EXACTLY FEEL POSITIVELY ABOUT ANDREW FROM THIS TAPE. THOUGH THE INFORMATION IS IRRELEVANT TO WHAT HAPPENED TO ANDREW, WE CAN ALSO CONCLUDE THAT WALLY DID NOT CONSIDER HIM A FRIEND AT FIRST.
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sugawaraxo · 4 years
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COCKWARMING THE PRETTY SETTERS
warnings: definitely smut 
characters: tooru oikawa, tobio kageyama, kenma kozume, koshi sugawara
a/n: i’m taking request btw :) my inbox is open. also, this is kinda long so grab your popcorn haha
oikawa
 - oikawa is obsessed with you whether he wants to admit it or not
- which is wild because no one would’ve expected him to ever be more obsessed with anyone other than himself
- but here you are
- and he LOVES being around you 
- just being in your presence makes him all giddy and smiley
- though he does try to compose himself whenever you guys are around his teammates but usually fails 
-  he’s not obsessed in a weird or creepy way, but just enough for you to know that he’s all about you and only you
- and you love it
- and of course oikawa’s obsession with you rings no surprise that he’s obsessed with being inside you 
- as long as he’s close to his pretty y/n, he’s happy
the two of you had just finished a long and strenuous two rounds of sex and were more than ready for bed. but when oikawa got out of bed to get towels for the two of you to clean up with, you felt extremely empty. you were exhausted, that’s for sure. but a big part of you just wanted him filling you up again, even if nothing else happened. you pout, knowing that your attentive boyfriend would notice when he came back, which he did. 
“hm, what’s wrong pretty girl?” he asks softly as he starts to gently clean his mess off of your stomach with a warm towel. 
“i want you inside of me again.” you say in an almost whisper, a little embarrassed by the words that just left your mouth and he laughs lightly. 
“you’re so cute.” he says as he tucks a piece of hair away from your face and gives you a kiss. “but i’m so tired.” he finishes, then plops down on the bed beside you, big spooning you. 
“no, we don’t have to have sex again, i’m exhausted too. i just want you inside me.” you say shyly. you feel his dick twitch behind you and can’t help but smile a little, knowing you’re about to get what you want.
“oh, like cockwarming?” oikawa asks and you nod in response. “hm, ok. yeah, we can do that.” he smiles before kissing your forehead. he was already big spooning you so he was in the perfect position to just slip it in. he pulls down his shorts just enough so that his member could spring free, then pulls the panties that you were wearing under one of his shirts down just enough for him to have access to what he needed. he teases your folds with his tip a little bit, causing you to tense up. then he slowly pushes himself inside you, it not being too difficult with you still being wet from earlier. the two of you moan in unison, both sensitive from your previous interactions. once he’s fully in, he stays there and wraps his arm around your waist as he plants a soft kiss on your shoulder.
“does that feel good? is that ok?” he asks before pressing more soft kisses on your shoulder and your neck.
“it’s perfect.” you coo and he pulls you a little closer with the arm he had slung over your waist.
“goodnight princess.”
“goodnight oikawa.”
- you definitely have morning sex when you wake up
kageyama
- let’s be real here, he really doesn’t know what any kinks are
- he just learns what he likes and what he doesn’t like from you and waits for you to tell him if it’s a kink or not 
- you end up having to tell him that basically anything sexual can be a kink after he keeps asking you “is that a kink?” every time you two do something new in bed 
- you find his lack of knowledge on the subject adorable though, even though you constantly tease him about it 
- he honestly just goes with the flow and follows your lead in terms of sexual things
- not that he’s the submissive one, you just know more about sex so sometimes you have to give him extra guidance
- he doesn’t mind it though, he wouldn’t wanna learn it from anyone else but you
- and you just so happened to teach him his new favorite kink
you two are making out on kageyama’s bed. it starts off innocent at first but slowly progresses into a messier and more heated kiss. you’re on top of him, tugging on his hair while he grips onto your hips. you begin slowly grinding against him causing him to moan softly into your mouth. his sounds were always so pretty and always instantly made your core pulse. you continue grinding on kageyama, giving both yourself and him pleasure. but it isn’t enough. in one swift motion he flips you over so now he’s the one on top. without detaching his lips from yours, he pulls his member out of his pants and lifts up the skirt you’re wearing then slowly pulls down your underwear, revealing your wet core.
“pretty.” he mumbles before licking a teasingly slow and soft stripe up your folds. you moan at the sensation and shut your eyes in pleasure. he continues to please you with his tongue before inserting two fingers into you. it hurts a bit more than usual but you shrug it off because the pleasure outweighs the pain. he continues with this for a few minutes more before he can’t take it anymore and positions himself at your entrance. he slowly begins pushing himself in, but as soon as he’s all the way in, you yelp in pain.
“ow ow ow! stop!” you groan, and kageyama does as told.
“what’s wrong? s-should i take it out?” he asks, concern laced in his voice.
“no no, keep it in just let me adjust to it.” you say. the day before, you and kageyama had some hardcore sex. you had unintentionally somewhat intentionally made him jealous so that he would punish you, and oh that he did. but your poor pussy was suffering the consequences. 
“ok princess, i won’t move. just let me know when you’re ready.” he says softly and you smile at his sweetness. he starts kissing you again, this time more deep and passionate as opposed to the sloppy, heated kiss that got you here in the first place. you were slowly beginning to relax around your boyfriend while he was losing his mind trying not to bust inside of you. something about not moving but still being inside you, feeling you around him. the anticipation. it’s driving him crazy.
“oh no, i’m gonna cum.” he says shyly as he pulls away from the kiss and accidentally cums inside of you. he hides his face in the crook of your neck in embarrasment and you just giggle at him, as that isn’t the first time that’s happened. 
“is, is that a kink? not doing anything, just being inside you? because i think i have that kink.” he mumbles into your shoulder.
“it is actually, it’s called cockwarming.” you say as you gently stroke his hair, trying to relax your still clearly embarrassed boyfriend. 
“hm, well can we never do cockwarming again, that was embarrassing.” he sighs before finally removing his head from the crook of your neck and looking at you.
“i don’t think it was embarrassing baby, i thought it was cute. but if you don’t wanna do it again we don’t have to.” you reassure him and he blushes at your compliment.
“maybe we can do it again sometime then, but for now it’s time to get you cleaned up.” he says before picking you up over his shoulder and taking you to the bathroom. 
kenma
- anyone who knows kenma knows that he is always preoccupied with video games
- whenever he’s playing, it’s fairly difficult to get his attention
- as his girlfriend, you’ve somewhat learned to accept this, even though you would like more attention from your boyfriend
- but you take what you can get, knowing that’s just how kenma is and you wouldn’t ever wanna change him 
- but sometimes you get needy
- really needy 
- and kenma isn’t always the best at reading that
- so you take it upon yourself to get the kind of attention you’re craving from your boyfriend
kenma doesn’t really get flustered too often. but when he does, oh anyone in a ten mile radius can tell. the first time you saw him really get flustered was when he gave you his hoodie while you were out on a date. it had gotten colder than you expected so he gave you his jacket to keep you warm, and as soon as you put it on, the boy went red. he couldn’t even form coherent sentences at first and you thought it was the most hilariously adorable thing ever. ever since that day, you’ve worn his clothes whenever you wanted his attention; hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, you name it. today is one of those days. kenma has been gaming all day in some sort of tournament and you’re beginning to get frustrated because of how badly you’re craving his touch, so you pull out the big guns. you put on one of his favorite hoodies, one that you’ve never worn before, and head into his gaming room. he’s sitting is his gaming chair deep in concentration, shooting at someone and talking to who you assume is kuroo on his headset. he doesn’t even notice you at first until you come sit in his lap, your legs resting on either side of his as you lay your head on his shoulder. 
“hi kitten.” he whispers away from his mic before placing a gentle kiss on your lips and you hum in response. you played with the hair at the nape of his neck for a little bit before your overwhelming feeling of neediness comes back. you lift your head from kenma’s shoulder, now somewhat blocking his view of his computer screen.
‘i want to feel you inside me’ you mouth to him. he hadn’t even realized what you were wearing until right then, and his cheeks blush bright red. he places a finger under your chin and uses it to pull you in for a kiss. “go for it.” he whispers to you as he pulls away, reverting his attention back to his game that he had forgotten about for a quick second. you easily slip his member out of the sweats he’s wearing and give it a few strokes to get him hard. you were wearing absolutely nothing under his hoodie in hopes that this would be the outcome, and when he notices that as he glances from you back to his computer screen every so often, he mumbles 
“dirty little kitten, this is exactly what you wanted hm?” 
“mhmm” you respond and he smiles.
you continue what you’re doing and position kenma’s tip at your hole before slowly sinking down on it. your breath hitches at the feeling of being filled up, while kenma clenches his eyes shut and bites his lip in order to hold back his moans. once he’s fully inside you, you lay your head on his shoulder again and just stay there.
“hm, that’s it? you just wanna cockwarm me?” kenma asks curiously. 
“mhmm. just wanted to feel you inside me, that’s it.” you say sleepily, slowly drifting as you shut your eyes. 
kenma can’t help but smile, “you’re adorable.” he says before planting a kiss on your cheek. you smile a small smile in return before dozing off on kenma’s shoulder, him still buried deep inside you. 
every so often you would move around in your sleep and kenma would have to bite his lip to hold back a moan so the friends he was playing with wouldn’t hear, but it was worth the risk because he loves just being this close to you, and you do too.
sugawara
- suga’s high sex drive really surprised you when you two first started dating
- his kinkiness surprised you too
- you thought he would always be very gentle and vanilla
- but you were very mistaken
- not that you’re complaining though
- he’s always open to trying new things
- so when you bring up the topic of cockwarming, he’s intrigued
“is that something you wanna try bunny?” he asks after you finish explaining to him what exactly cockwarming is.
“we don’t have to if you don’t want to, i just think it’d be interesting to try.” you shrug
“i agree.” he says, before leaning over to start kissing your neck. that’s your weak spot, so you take this as suga saying he wants to try right now. the two of you are currently on the couch, in the middle of watching a romcom but clearly that romcom has been forgotten as suga continues to make little love bites on your neck. you lift his chin to kiss him because you know if you don’t stop him now, he’ll cover your whole body in hickies. the kiss is soft, but passionate and you can feel yourself quite literally melting into it. somehow you end up straddling suga, still lost in the kiss. you suddenly notice a pair of familiar fingers making their way down to your most sensitive area. he teases you, rubbing his fingers over your pajama shorts, knowing you’re getting needy because of the way you’re starting to softly moan into his mouth. he takes this as a sign of you wanting more and breaks away from the kiss so he can take off your shorts and your underwear, with a little bit of help from you. once your bottom half is completely naked, he grins and begins kissing you again. the sensation of your bare core against suga’s sweatpants was teasing you, so you began moving your hips to get some friction. suga moans a little at your sudden movements and you can feel him getting harder. he pushes you up off of him slightly so that he can pull his sweats down, them ending up just hanging around his ankles. now both of your bottom halves are naked, and you’re staring at each other in anticipation.
“sit on it bunny.” suga instructs and you follow his orders, sitting down on his length and feeling every inch against your walls. that feeling when he first inserts into you will never get old. 
“mm, suga.” you moan. he instinctively thrusts after hearing your pretty noises, completely forgetting what you guys were supposed to be trying.
“no, don’t move.” you laugh at him and he blushes apologetically.
“sorry, i couldn’t help it. you’re just so pretty.” he apologizes and you melt.
“it’s ok suga, you’re adorable.” you smile. “i’m gonna turn around now, but keep you inside me and we’ll finish the movie just like this, yeah?” you say.
“yeah.” he nods in agreement. without pulling suga out of you, you turn so that you’re no longer straddling him but sitting in his lap with your back facing towards him, your face now facing the tv. you guys finish the rest of the movie exactly like this, you sitting on suga’s lap with his member deep inside of you and suga occasionally thrusting up into you just to get your reaction. 
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