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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

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Furies (Mermay OT4)

Request from @angellioncosplay, fill is NSFW

The jagged edge of the harpoon slices into his tail.

Barclay knows he’s doomed but he thrashes and tries to dive all the same. He doesn’t know what the boar above wants, doesn’t care, he just wants to go home, he has to make it back to them, please, all he wants is to see them again.

A second barb pierces his side, blood clouds his vision.

In the darkness below, he thinks he sees two red lights racing closer. Then the harpooners tug, and the world snaps to black.

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“Is he stable?” Duck whispers as Aubrey swims out of Barclay’s bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

“Yeah. I’m glad Indrid warned us when he did; if he’d lost much more blood, I’m not sure even my powers coulda helped.”

“And Joe and ‘Drid?”

“They’re gonna stay with him. I think they’re okay but, well” she sighs, shakes her head, “if that’d happened to Dani, I don’t think anything could make me leave her side.” She loops their arms together as they swim to the door, “do you wanna come stay with us? I know this is hard on them, but you had to, like, break a harpoon in half while one of your friends almost died.”

“Nah, oughta stay in case any of ‘em need somethin.”

“You want to keep Dr. Harris Bonkers for extra support?” She holds out her sea bunny.

Duck rubs it’s back, “I’ll be okay, but thanks for the offer Lady Flame. You get home safe now.”

“I will. Oh” She turns, swimming backwards as she adds, “if he needs any more healing between now and tomorrow, come get me right away!”

He promises he will, locks the house up for the night and floats into the kitchen to put it back in some kind of order. Indrid’s sketch pad and enchanted pen are still on the floor where he dropped them, Joseph’s book and Duck’s half-built model ship knocked sideways from the seer pushing away from the table in a flurry of silver and panic. And on the counter are the ingredients Barclay’d set out for dinner, the ones he was checking off when he realized he needed scallops and swam off with a promise to be right back.

Duck sighs, jumps when something whaps at the green-glass window.

“Jesus Winnie, thought you were in the bedroom.” He cracks the window enough to lift the octopus inside. See slowly slides off his arm, swimming across the floor to the pile of salvaged ship instruments Duck and Indrid found for her.

“Maybe this will keep her from stealing the silverware.” Barclay plucks a knife from the cephalopods tentacle.

Suddenly, he’s too heavy to swim. They almost lost him.

It’s simple, really. Duck is in love with Joe and Indrid. Joe and Indrid are in love with Barclay. But that doesn’t mean Duck doesn’t love the other mer; Barclay is one of his best friends, a sympathetic ear when things go south and the only one of the four of them capable of beating Joe at Ten Shells. Barclay also understands something about Duck that escapes many of their kind; that he can love Joe, curious and meticulous from his black hair to his dapper monochrome tail, and Indrid, strange and aloof until you gave him the right kind of stroke on his silver scales, with the same intensity. It just manifests in different ways.

Duck cracks the bedroom door open, finds the wounded mer on his back in their large, seaweed colored bed. Indrid and Joe are nestled on either side of him. Normally, they’d be an undignified, loving pile, but the bandages on his stomach and tail prevent it.

Indrid stirs, trilling in distress. His nightmares come and go, are most often the echos of horrible futures he was forced to watch over and over. Duck has a pretty good guess as the which one is playing in his mind tonight.

He wiggles down onto the bed, draping his arm over Indrid’s side and guiding his bony back and red fin against his chest. When Indrid registers his weight, the nervous twitches of his tail stop. Duck glances up, watches Barclay’s hand glide down the bed to hold Indrid’s own.

Someone almost took this from them. Almost ripped away pieces of the hearts of the mers he loves most in the world.

And he wants to know who.

------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dearest, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, totally fine.” Barclay tries to sit up as a demonstration, only for his whole body to convulse. He falls back against the bed, whimpering pathetically.

“Hmmm, I was afraid that would be the case. There were some timelines where you healed quickly, but it seems the monsters who attacked you did a great deal of damage.”

“No, no, it was just a twinge, if you give me a sec I can-”

“-You will stay in bed.” Indrid’s red gaze sharpens, “no mate of mine is going to re-open his wounds trying to make me breakfast.”

“Besides” Joseph looks up from setting all the med supplies they need in tidy stacks and lines, “it’s not like Duck or I can’t cook. You need to rest, big guy.” He swims over, strokes Barclays hair. Barclay leans into the feelings, trying to ignore the fear gnawing a new hole in his side.

In the three days since the attack, he hasn’t been alone. His boyfriends and friend take turns sitting with him, talking when he wants to and letting him sleep when he needs, bringing him food and changing his bandages without complaint.

It’s all wrong. That’s not their job. It shouldn’t be, that’s what they have him for. Some part of him wishes they’d been too late. Because he doesn’t want to face what’s coming.

------------------------------------------------

“Any luck?”

“Some. Juno says she saw an unfamiliar hull pass by about an hour before Barclay got attacked, but she wasn’t close enough to see any details.”

“Damn it.” Joseph slams the book one human weapons in frustration, then cringes at his outburst.

Duck swims to him, pulling him up from the chair into an embrace, “We’ll figure it out, slick. Nothin else, happen to know we got a real smart mer workin the case.” He winks, kisses Joseph on the cheek.

He snorts, then looks at the floor, “Some part of me is worried about what will happen if we do figure out who hurt him. I...I don’t believe in violence outside of dire circumstances, but they, they nearly killed him. I’d like to say my motive in seeking them out is to make sure they can’t hurt anyone else but, well, that’s secondary at best. What I want is to make them pay.”

“That makes two of us” Indrid slithers in the door, “he’s sound asleep, not to worry. I have narrowed down our potential culprits with my visions, but I too am afraid of what I may do if I locate the humans who dared harm him.”

“I get the feelin, but right now we’re mostly borrowin trouble. Let’s wait until we know a little more before decidin whether to track ‘em down.”

Joseph nods, opens his mouth to suggest one of them retrieve dinner from the fishmonger down the block, when there’s a crash from the kitchen.

“Damn, Winnie must’ve gotten into the cabinets again.”

Indrid blinks, then frowns, “No, that is not her doing.”

Rushing into the kitchen reveals Barclay trying to arrange food on the counter. His upper body can barely move, and his tail is unable to maintain direction due to the bandages.

“Don’t worry about, ow, me” Barclay smiles at them, but Joseph spots panic in his eyes, “th-thought I’d do some meal prep since you’re all gonna be busy this week.”

He’s about to point out that a)they’re all capable of feeding themselves even when busy and b)Barclay’s only been recovering for a week and a half and Aubrey explicitly told him it would be at least a month before he could move around without help.

Before he can make any points at all, Indrid draws himself up to his full height, frills of his ears fanned out and gestures to the bedroom, “You will do no such thing. You need your rest, dearest.”

“But-”

“That was an order, not a request.” It’s a tone that never fails to make Joseph’s spine turn to mush, and by the flash of pink in Barclay’s tail, he feels the same way. Then his whole tail drains of color and he nods.

“Right. Sorry. I, I didn’t mean to upset you guys.”

Indrid’s frills flatten and he swims swiftly towards the other mer, “Barclay, I’m not-”

“It’s okay. I caused enough trouble already.” He catches Indrid by the chin to kiss him, blows a second kiss Joseph’s way, then disappears into the bedroom.

As Indrid flicks his tail nervously, Duck clears his throat, “Know I joke about him not havin a selfish bone in his body, but this is startin to get ridiculous.”

The silver-scaled mer sighs, coiling his tail around Joseph’s own and opening his arms so Duck will come give him a hug. When the three of them are close together he murmurs, “ I saw this timeline, but I had so hoped it would not be the one we ended up in. I have mentioned before that the culture Barclay and I grew up in as deep water mers is very different than what you have on the reef. One component of that was the belief that a mer who could not carry his weight in his home would not be in said home for much longer. His mate or mates not only could, but were encouraged to, throw him out to make room for a more useful partner.”

The entirety of Joseph’s stomach crawls up his throat, “He really thinks we’d do that to him?”

“I suspect so.” Indrid rests his head on Duck’s shoulder, “Barclay is already prone to such fears, in that he prides himself on taking care of others. And it is a deeply ingrained message and practice, so much so that there are times I still fear you three may turn me away should my powers disappear.”

“‘Drid-”

The mer purrs reassuringly, “But then I remind myself that I am not down there. I am up here, with you who love me regardless of my strength. Seeing the future helps a great deal as well; I can peek and see there are no timelines where you turn me away. Hmm” his tail taps Sterns lower back, “I wonder, is there a way we can mimic that experience for Barclay? Help him see his future here?”

Joseph gets an idea and, for the first time all day, the sense that he’s getting somewhere, “I have a plan.”

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Barclay isn’t sure if this is some cruel joke, or if his boyfriends genuinely believe they won’t grow tired of him needing to be cared for all the time. Regardless, he doesn’t know what to do when Joseph lays beside him, kissing his cheek and shoulder as he talks about how they should go see the Kelpie migration this fall, and how he’s heard about a human beach where they serve a swim-up meal to mers and humans alike, and wouldn’t it be nice for all four of them to visit and try the food?

He doesn’t know what to do when Indrid gently sits him upright and combs his hair, jumping from topic to topic between kisses to the back of his neck but always returning to what they should do for Joseph’s birthday, or Dani and Aubrey’s anniversary, or their own anniversary.

He doesn’t know what to do right now, Indrid sitting and drawing while Joseph finishes changing the bandages on his tail. The one on his side came off a few days ago, scar tissue forming a jagged tooth of pink and white in his skin.

Duck swims in, greeting them all at once, his usually friendly expression somber.

“Joe, ‘Drid, could I talk to you in the kitchen? It’ll only be a minute.”

His boyfriends nod, assuring him they’ll be back even as they swim away. He wishes he could believe it, but he can think of only one reason Duck would need to talk to them alone. With a sad little groan, he rolls onto his uninjured side and pities himself to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------------

“You’re sure that’s the one?”

“Positive. Minerva had a near miss with it this mornin, described the exact same thing Barclay did. Speakin of which, we know they’re down a few harpoons because the ones they sent after her she threw right back at them.”

“A fair response if ever there was one. Do we all agree on the plan?”

“Yep”

“Yes.”

“Good” A smile that could make a sea monster afraid, “then let us begin.”

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Winthrop lounges on the deck of the Nemo as his guests and the hired guides mill around the edges of the boat. After that run-in with the mermaid earlier today, they’re on pins and needles, hoping to see and (finally) catch another.

Is poaching in a protected cove illegal? Only if you don’t have the money to pay the fine. Is it wrong to hunt the rare creatures that call this stretch of ocean home? Wrong is a deeply subjective concept.

Warmth leaves the deck as clouds swirl above the sun.

“I say, wasn’t it sunny a moment ago?”

“Yep. Could be again, provided y’all head to shore and never come back here.” A voice calls from the bow.

Everyone races forward, shouting in excitement when they discover the merman addressing them with an oddly calm expression.

“Don’t even think about tryin to spear me. You ain’t the only ones with weapons.”

A second mer surfaces, armed with a spear gun he clearly knows how to use.

“Joe’s a damn good shot.”

The other mer fixes them with a steely gaze, “This is your last warning. Leave this cove and never try to hunt here again.”

“Or what?”

The whole boar rocks as something massive bumps the underside. Screams draw his attention to the silver, serpentine shape gliding through the water. A red fin breaks the surface and then it’s gone.

Then the boat nearly capsizes as it rams the port side. In the darkening waves, the monster turns it’s head to look up at them. It’s red eye is the size of a steering wheel, but he forgets all about that when the creature rears up, jaws snapping, and narrowly misses dragging his wife off the boat between butcher-knife teeth.

“Our friend here is mighty angry with you” the first merman rubs the monster's fin as it swims by him, “in fact, he’s downright furious.”

“And it looks like he’s decided to build up some speed before hitting you this time. I don’t think your boat will survive that amount of force.”

“Alright, alright we’ll leave, we’ll go and never come back.”

A hissing screech from the monster.

“We swear!” He says, really meaning it this time.

The first merman points towards shore, “then get goin’.”

The boat speeds away, and Winthrop decides to never, ever look back.

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“That was fuckin incredible darlin’”

“Thank you” Indrid returns to his usual form, groggy but pleased, “you were both wonderful as well.”

“Never been happier that you’re so into workin out how human machines operate” Duck kisses Joseph hard, one of Indrid’s favorite sights in the whole of the sea.

“If you like how I handle a spear gun, you should see how I handle, um, other things.”

“I am” Indrid yawns, “in favor of that idea. But first, I believe I am due for a nap, and Barclay is due for an update.”

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“You did all that for me?” Barclay twists his fingers in the blanket beneath him, trying to sound pleasantly surprised instead of confused. From the look Joseph and Duck trade, he’s doing a shit job.

“Well, technically we also did it to keep the reef safe from hunters, and hopefully start a legend that will keep any like-minded poachers from coming within fifty miles of our home. Or our family. And yes, dearest, that includes you.” In the darkened bedroom, deep purple shimmers up Indrid’s tail. A signal to obey.

“I, I never said it didn’t.”

“Yes, but it has been on your mind for weeks.”

“I…”

“Barclay” Joseph settles beside him, taking his hand, “Indrid told us about what you two were taught about needing care or being helpless. I, we, none of us want you thinking that’s what will happen here. I promise.”

He doesn’t realize he’s crying, not until Indrid whispers “hush now, dear one” and carefully rests their tails together so that the wound is left untouched.

“I, I thought saying it would make it worse. Make you think I needed reassurance, which would just make it clear how useless I am. I, I know that sounds ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous to feel vulnerable or scared after something traumatic.” Joseph traces his fingers up and down his arm and his scales ripple in reply.

“Nor to feel off-balance when you are unable to do what you usually do.”

“But you gotta tell us next time.” Duck rests next to Joseph, “we care about you, all three of us, but we can’t help if we don’t know what’s wrong.”

He flashes apologetic yellow, “You’re right. I’ll, I’m gonna try to be better about that. It’s just hard for me to let other mers take care of me sometimes.”

The purple returns to Indrid’s tail, and when he turns to look at Barclay his smile is no longer gentle and ethereal. It’s almost tangible enough to slice his chest and send everything he wants pouring onto the bed.

“It seems to me, my dear one, that you could use some practice in that area.”

“Yes” he murmurs, then yips when Indrid bites his throat, “I mean yes, sir.”

“Much better. After all, your convalescence has made such things difficult until now. And yes, Joseph, I will keep an eye on the futures to be certain no one is hurt. Speaking of which: Duck, please adjust so Barclay’s head is in your lap. You’ll need to hold his shoulders down should he try and disobey me.”

A shift of the bed and then his head rests on mottled green scales.

“Hey” He smiles up and Duck sends a crooked grin his way, setting more pink off in his tail. He may not want to fuck him, but Barclay’s not about to deny how handsome Duck can be.

This rumination distracts him from Indrid and Joseph’s conversation, so he’s pleasantly surprised when the black-tailed mer catches his lips in a kiss. It’s precise, down with calculated care that always makes him feel like the most interesting, important thing in the world.

“That’s it big guy, relax for us.”

“I’, I’m tryINGfuck, it’s, it’s kinda hard when Indrid is doing that.”

Indrid chuckles, continues teasing the scales in his upper tail, “Shall I stop?”

“No, please no-”

“Please what?” His slit opens at the steel in Indrid’s voice.

“Please sir.”

“Good boy. Ah, and here’s that lovely cock of yours. What shall I do with it, hmmm?”

“Anything you want sir.” He tries not to giggle as Joseph nibbles his ear.

“I was not asking you.” Indrid cocks his head at Duck.

“Huh” Duck toys with Barclays hair, “think I wanna see you suck it. Been too damn long since you had a dick in your mouth that wasn’t mine.”

Indrid licks his lips and then Barclay’s moans fill the bedroom as his boyfriend lovingly sucks the head of his cock.

“Is now the time to mention he sucked me off yesterday while you were at work?” Joseph smiles up at Duck, though his hand is busy teasing Barclay’s nipples.

Duck growls, “and you didn’t even give an encore where I could watch. Mighty rude of you. Both of you.”

“Don’t blame me” Indrid jerks Barclay off with one hand and fingers his slit with the other, “you know how needy our pet gets.”

“True. Guess I’ll have to put him in his place.” Duck looks down at Barclay, gaze soft in spite of his tone, “not tonight though. Tonight his job is to take care of you.”

“Speaking of which” Joseph turns his face into another kiss just as Indrid’s mouth envelopes his cock once again. He moans and whimpers between those perfect lips, a month of not even being able to touch himself meaning his body is already being dragged towards orgasm. His hand finds Joseph’s tail, petting it enticingly.

“If you AHnnnfuck, lay perpendicular babe, I can suck you off without hurting myself.”

Joseph glances at Indrid, who pulls off of Barclay’s cock and shakes his head, “Not tonight, dearest.”

He whimpers, tries to lift his head, use his tongue to tease Joseph’s retreating tail, only or Duck to hold him firmly in place.

“I know, sweet one, you do so love being inside our pet, whether with that talented tongue, those skillful hands, or this sinful thing.” He gives a final jerk, then uses his tail to guide Joseph into his former position, “And I would never deny you that pleasure. He’s such a good little pet after all.” He kisses Joseph posessively, then glides behind him and sets his hands on his waist, “which is why I am going to fuck him on you. I will control his movements, so as to avoid aggravating your injury.”

“And because you get off on it.” Duck adds.

“That too.”

“AHfuck!” Barclay’s whole tail lights up purple for an instant as Indrid shoves Joseph down onto his cock. He might submit to Indrid, but Joseph is the mer in the sea he most wants to claim, to fuck until he’s begging for more.

“Nghnshit, shit that’s so good big guy, fuck I missed this.”

“Ahem.”

“Thank you Indridoh, ohohohohfuck.” Joseph’s hands scrabble on Barclay’s tail as Indrid bounces him up and down. He looks so handsome like this, cock hard and slit swallowing Barclay to the hilt, dark hair loose and framing his head like a crown.

Barclay reaches for him, desperate for a touch, but Duck holds him down.

“Thank you, love, if he had moved just then he would have hurt himself.”

“Don’t care” Barclay growlwhines, “Joseph, babe, wanna touch you so bad.”

“You’ll get to, big guy, there’ll be plenty of chances after this.”

He growls, teeth clenched as the riptide of his orgasm pulls at him.

“It’s okay big fella, you can let go. We’ve got you.” Duck’s voice, as soothing as the hand he scritches down his scalp.

“Fuck” is all he gets out before Indrid pushes Joseph down and Barclay spurts up into him with moan.

“Better, big guy?” Joseph’s smile is as dazzling as ever.

“Uh huh.” His bones are mud, his eyes heavy, and he feels better than he has all month.

“Good. Come, let me look you over and hold you. Duck and Joseph will join us shortly.”

“But I thoughtAHfuck” is all he hears before the sound of Duck frantically fucking Joseph fills one half of the room, his boyfriends moan switching from charming to mouthwatering as Duck keeps fucking him after he’s cum.

Indrid builds them a nest on the other side of the bed, guides him into it to comb his hair and rub his aching shoulders, humming as he does. Eventually, Duck swims over to join them, Joseph more floating than swimming in his embrace.

“How do you feel, big guy?”

“Good. Really, really good.” He closes his eyes, safe in the knowledge that his home and family will still be his when he wakes up.

Then he opens them again.

“Wait, so what the fuck did you actually do to the guy who harpooned me?”

#OT4: Government Men and Their Cryptid Boyfriends #mermay fills #indruck #sternclay #inclay #agent stern/barclay/indrid cold/Duck newton #agent stern/duck newton

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jamestrmtx · 3 years

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Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Ten | Dating Fight! (Part 1 of 2)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

(Obligatory) Alternate Title: "Ya like jazz?"

• • •

If you told your past self you would be in the monsters' home at midnight, wearing borrowed pajamas and staying the night on their couch, you would've most likely been asked over what the hell you were smoking.

It's what you assume will be a sleepless night, giving you time to reflect on what's happened so far and what opportunities you'd lost with the blackout. Not only had it interrupted your time with Toriel, but it had brought upon a new piece of information you weren't quite sure what to do with, and that was Sans and him being afraid of thunder. While one side of you wanted to tease him over it, the other -- based on how raw his fear was and how much he seemed to have entrusted his safety on you -- wanted nothing but to try to comfort the monster over the situation. In short, sympathy towards him sounded hard to do without him taking it as the results of his flirting, yet making fun of him made you feel like a jerk.

"Can we talk?"

You look to the voice to see Sans standing by the television, a hand gripping its top for stability. His body language shows exhaustion and nothing more, though you don't let your guard down yet, still wary over any possible flirting attempts. "About the blackout thing, I mean."

The circles under his eye sockets are darker than before, a bit of a strange observation to take in, considering how much he's slept already. If this is what he meant about how he needed Karma for his magic, it made way more sense now. A half-hour trip to Toriel's with him casting a see-through veil over the windshield and another one for him to pick up Papyrus had proven more than enough to drain his magic and all the energy left in him.

But if that was the case, why did he accept his job as a sentry, if his task was to kill any human who crossed him -- right from the start?

Was he willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of obtaining that soul, and simultaneously, his kinds' freedom?

"Sit with me," you offer, caught in the spur of the moment. "You already sat on my lap, didn't you? Why try to be modest now? I wouldn't have minded that much, if you'd at least taken me to dinner first."

You hear him snort at that, though a hand covers up the noise when he catches just how quiet everything is. "Sorry, (Y/N). I may like flirtin' with you, but physical contact's where I cross the line. And unless you're also comfortable with it, I'm not gonna try anythin' like that." He rubs the back of his skull, looking guilty. "So with that being said, sorry for all that. For, uh, slammin' right into you, huggin' you, and then, well... lettin' me sit on your lap without asking. I wasn't myself back there."

His expression's not far from that of a wounded puppy, and it's only when you pat down at the space left next to you that he reacts, sitting down and facing your gaze. "Did something happen in the past? Were you… in a war or something like that?" PTSD's the first thing to come up into your thoughts, though you're not exactly sure how to approach the topic with him. "You don't have to answer me, if you don't want to."

"Thanks," he says, shoulders kept high as he huffs and faces his lap. "It's... somethin' like that. But like you said, I don't really know how to talk about it yet." He lets out a noise between a chuckle and a nose flare, meeting your gaze again afterwards. "I didn't know just how… how loud thunder was here at the Surface, so when it first happened, I was even more caught off guard by it. Today wasn't that bad, and I already knew what was comin', but I still acted that way."

"Do… Do other people know about this?"

"Only Tori and my bro. They were the ones who saw me in that state the first time."

You bite your lip and let out a sympathetic hiss in response to that, remembering just who'd caught him and you in that position. If Alphys and Undyne really didn't know anything about his fear, then judging by the wide stares they were giving you while the skeleton sat on your lap, their point of view was clearly far different from yours.

"What's wrong?" he asks, mirth returning to his voice.

"Remember when you sat on my lap?"

His face falls, tone straining with it, "Is remindin' me a way of you gettin' back at me for what I've done?"

You huff and swat his shoulder in a harmless, playful manner despite your narrowed gaze. "I'm being serious here, Sans!" you exclaim, frowning. "Alphys and Undyne... They- They saw us like that, so I was wondering if you knew about it, too."

"What?" he asks, a subtle furrow showing on his skull. "Did they really see us?"

"Yes!" Your response is muffled by you covering your face in shame, face burning at the thought. "If they really don't know about your condition, then they… They probably thought we were hitting it off on the couch!" With how hot your face feels, you're forced to let it go and direct a pointed gaze at Sans, who tries to ease you out with the gesture of his hands and a hush, reminding you to keep your voice low. "They probably think we're dating now!"

"And what's so bad about that?"

"Everything!"

Frustrated by his easygoing self, it takes a minute for you to find some calm, regaining it when you remind yourself over what's more important right now.

"I don't want either of us to get carried away with that, so I'll just tell you this," you speak up, maintaining a calmer tone and looking at the skeleton right in his irises. You focus your eyes on him, wanting the gravity of the situation to be known. "I… I used to be married, and I waited two whole years of dating just to, well… achieve that dream, only to then have Jerry ditch me the second he couldn't keep up with the responsibility of living and raising a child together." You pause in your words, feeling a few tears form in your eyes, embarrassment and sorrow both weighing the same. "If there's anything I need less of, it's romantic drama! I don't mind you flirting with me, but if any false rumour gets out about us, then I... I simply won't allow this to happen anymore."

You back off and lower your intensity.

The more you talk, the more you realize this has nothing to do with the skeleton, aside from what transpired with the blackout.

"What happened earlier was accidental, and I firmly acknowledge that. But if you're going to keep up this flirting charade with me, I'm gonna need to ask for one thing: don't spread false rumours about us." You wipe a tear off your face, looking away when you feel his gaze on your body, burning you. "I… I want to be a good parental figure for Frisk, so if I want that, I really can't be depicted as an easy, airheaded person." You stop and let out a breath, almost shuddering in the process. "I allowed myself to be stupid once, so I can't let it happen again."

You know you're about to confess something really, if not extremely personal, yet you can't prevent yourself from keeping your mouth shut, something about the monster and the quiet of the living room pushing you to be heartfelt with him.

"It was bad enough when he told his friends about how quickly I fell for him -- how it seemed I loved him more than he did with me. And it took me too long to understand what he meant by that when… when his first solution to us not working out the first time was doing a one-hundred and eighty on our relationship without any explanation whatsoever. I was naive and stupid as hell for getting back with him twice after that first fallout, and then deciding to marry him later on, so to this day, I… I still take responsibility for what became of us and our family after that. And that's why I really can't allow myself to… to fall into another relationship just like that. I need to fix this and myself first."

You finish venting with a huff. Then, you form a smile and offer a hand out to the skeleton when you're done. "Think we could both put this day behind us? I won't push further over what happened to you, but I… I expect the same kind of respect and treatment from you."

Sans takes your hand, completing the shake. "Ya really gotta ask, pal?" he says, winking. "Respect's somethin' that should be given right from the start, so long as the other person's showed it, too." He pulls his hand back, meeting with your eyes afterwards. "I may like teasin' and flirtin' around with you, but I still hold respect for who you are as a person, just as I hold respect for how mad attractive you look in your work uniform."

Truthfully, his last sentence catches you off guard with how nonchalant he is, and you almost pass off his words as nothing. But when you do catch onto the comment he made over that particular aspect of you, you stand up, towering over him with your hands on your hips and a scowl. "Good-night," you bark, teeth gritted.

"Wait."

Just as you turn to leave, he tugs at the end of your pajamas' sleeve and grabs your attention with the call of your name. A muffled, jazzy tune followed by yelling and fighting can be heard from the television, now on. "Watch somethin' with me," Sans says, serious. "I know ya ain't sleepy yet, and that you chose to sleep on the couch, so don't leave."

You don't budge; rather, you sigh and keep your back turned to him. "Unnecessary comment leads to a necessary need to retreat."

"C'mon," he pleads, letting go of your sleeve. "I won't make any more of those 'til the sun rises."

"...Promise?"

"Promise."

You finally face him again, though all while keeping a neutral look as you sit down next to him. The television displays a black-and-white film, action present in every second of it. When the monster asks over what you'd like to watch, you don't give him a concrete answer, letting him choose instead. He passes by a few channels, sound clips amalgamating with each other as he switches back and forth, only stopping when a DreamJobs movie shows up, a bee pun quickly making its way to your ears.

"Wanna watch this?" Sans asks, waiting.

"Whatever you want, honey," you reply, arms crossed as you look him in the eye, attempting to one-up his past flirting attempts. "I bee-lieve I told you to choose, didn't I?" You wink, soul leaving your body when you see he grins at your actions.

He returns these by hooking an arm right behind the couch, leaning in just a bit closer to your side and staying true to his word by not once touching you. "Flirtin' back now, huh? Surprised you didn't just tell me to buzz off."

You stare at him for a good while, stricken by his line of defense. When you're capable of moving again, you stand up and make way to the kitchen, only stopping after reminding yourself over how helpful Sans had been these past few weeks, and how little you'd shown your gratitude over it. "I'm gonna go get some water. Do you need anything, Serif?"

"You're all I need right now, pal."

"I'm serious."

He chuckles, slumps on a corner of the couch, and rests an arm behind his skull. A subtle grin returns to his face, sly and dangerous. "I'm good," he says. "Though it wouldn't be bad if you could take some monster meds outta the bottom pantry."

You frown at that, reminded over his physical state. "Are you still tired?"

"Nah. Just got a lil' headache, is all."

Though unconvinced, you enter the kitchen and follow his instructions as to where the medicine is. You take the one marked with 'acetaminophen for monsters' and bring two cups of water along with you -- tap for you, and from-the-fridge for him. Taking a cup of water from Toriel's home made you feel bad, even if it was lukewarm and from the tap.

When you return, you sit next to the skeleton and offer him the medicine first. Then, you offer him a glass, though he takes the warm one. "Think I didn't see what ya did there?" he comments, winking. "You ain't gotta restrict yourself so much, pal. You're as much of a family as Frisk is."

You grab the remaining glass and hold back your emotions, how hard they hit making you drink the water to avoid them. "...Thank you, but I'm not." You drink the rest of the water, not wanting to let your voice waver. "Frisk may be like your family, but I certainly am not."

The movie distracts you when Sans decides to look at you; the mood of the film's far more whimsical and upbeat for your current state of mind. "Like I've said before, please don't waste your time on me, 'cause it's not gonna work."

Silence stays as you both watch the movie, yet it's promptly broken when he finishes his drink. "'Fraid that's not gonna work with us, (Y/N)." His voice is serious again, a rarity for who he is; or at least, who you envisioned him to be. "Just as we're insistent on Frisk being a part of our lives, we're insistent that you can be a part of that, too. It might take time, but it'll happen with effort, integrity, and mutual understanding."

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#sans x reader #undertale x reader #lgbt #lgbt themes #gender neutral reader #male reader #female reader #mother reader #father reader #parent reader #chubby reader #long fic #romcom #adventure #mystery #platonic relationships #slow burn

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ampleappleamble · 4 years

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Chapter 7: Crumbling Castle

Caed Nua stood, a mossy, neglected tombstone hunching above the sprawling, untamed foliage of the Yenwood. Its once mighty towers rose from the center of the ruined castle, climbing only midway to the sky before succumbing to gravity and the ravages of age. The walls surrounding the estate slumped and buckled as well, having sloughed away in places to reveal the overgrown bailey and the collapsed, rotting buildings therein.

Axa let her eyes wander over the derelict keep.

"What a shithole," she muttered.

Her flippant words did little to mask her disappointment, and although Aloth noticed this, he decided to say nothing. Anything he said would probably only make her feel worse, seeing as he was now almost utterly certain that if she was-- if they were to find anyone to advise on matters of the soul, it would not be here, in this place seemingly forsaken by kith. But he also knew by now that trying to deter the little woman from her goals was nigh impossible, so he trailed doggedly behind her, scepter and grimoire at the ready. After all, it wasn't as though he had any more promising leads to follow, and what she lacked in subtlety she more than made up for in determination. A disposition which with I am most certainly well acquainted, he thought bitterly, the resulting headache quite worth the barb.

Edér, either out of ignorance of Axa's true emotional state or in a good-natured attempt to lighten the mood, took a different approach and tried to joke with her, remarking aloud on the poor quality of Maerwald's gardeners. But he'd scarcely gotten the words out when the orlan gesticulated fiercely to him for silence, pivoting her long, tapered ears over to her left and listening intently. It wasn't long before her companions heard it too-- a low, steady humming coming from just beyond the bridge before them, behind the overgrown hedge, right outside of the walls of Caed Nua.

"Oh, good. We're not alone," Aloth whispered, reaching for his grimoire.

"This trip just keeps gettin' better," Edér sighed, drawing his blade.

Axa squinted in the direction of the humming noise, and a strange grin slowly spread across her flaxen face.

"...Is that Sea of Miracles?"

And she marched off confidently toward the moldy castle walls, her companions scrambling to keep up.

---

"Refrain of the Soul, actually," the gigantic man replied, his pointed teeth bared in a friendly smile. "But you were close! Both ballads were composed by the selfsame skald--"

"Uwēno the Elder!" Axa laughed, clapping her hands together. "Of course! And in the same year, if I remember correctly."

Aloth watched the two bards, utterly bemused. No matter how he tried to prepare himself for what might come, the world always managed to defy his expectations in the most bizarre ways. After they'd heard deep, tremulous murmurs in these abandoned ruins, he'd been sure he'd spend the next hour hurling arcane flame at hostile spirits or hungry wildlife, or maybe even bandits or cultists. Instead, he had found himself awkwardly fumbling to secure his weapons, trailing after Axa while she strode directly to the source of the noise: an enormous, very amicable aumaua man with whom she was now excitedly chattering about ancient Rauataian songstresses. After the surprise had worn off, he was obliged to wait quietly while they talked, feeling oddly like a petulant child waiting for his mother to finish speaking with another adult.

Glancing over at Edér, who looked as though he hadn't a thought in his head, Aloth felt a mild twinge of envy.

The farmer grinned back at the elf, content to idle for a few pleasant moments while the large shark man and the tiny cat lady laughed together at jokes he couldn't even begin to understand. Honestly, he was just happy to see the poor girl relaxed and in her element, for once. And they hadn't had to fight any screaming monsters! ...Yet.

"Kana Rua," the giant boomed, bending slightly at the waist to extend his hand to Axa, "of the royal city of Tâkowa and her esteemed lore college. Are you, perchance, here to see Maerwald? I assume you haven't come all this way to discuss music history with strangers!" His dark eyes, wide with curiosity, shifted to the other two men. "And with a retinue, no less!"

"Axa Mala," the little woman chuckled, "and my traveling companions, Aloth Corfiser and Edér Teylecg. We are indeed here for Maerwald's counsel. I'm a Watcher, it seems, and I'm hoping he can offer some insight into our shared condition. And yourself?"

Both Kana's eyes and his smile had grown steadily as she spoke. "You're a Watcher? Truly? ...Well, I'm afraid my own reasons for seeking Maerwald aren't nearly so extraordinary. I was hoping he could direct me to a tablet of great historical and cultural import to my people, the Tanvii ora Toha. Only... I've had some difficulties in actually getting near the place."

He winced in the direction of the stone archway leading past the walls of Caed Nua and into its wild, unkempt yard. They couldn't see the dark spirits beyond the castle gate, but they didn't need to. All four kith could feel the dark spirits' presence, falling silent for a moment as the malevolent essence in the air prickled and picked at the edges of their souls.

"To meet the master of the estate, it seems one must first neutralize his spectral visitants, or else find a way around them. I'm... afraid I haven't had much luck at either by myself."

"Ah," Edér groaned, feeling his bowels churn with the sick, primal fear spirits always instilled in him. "There's that fight I knew was gonna happen."

"But this is a magnificently serendipitous encounter!" Kana grinned again, bigger and brighter than the sun, spreading his arms before the group as though to embrace all of them just for being there. "I was planning to finish jotting down these notes, set up camp for the evening, and simply trek to the nearest village tomorrow to hire a helping hand. But since we've the same goal, and you all look quite capable--"

"A collaborative effort?" Axa finished for him, stepping closer to the huge man. "I'm all for it, as long as there are no objections." The orlan glanced back at her companions.

"You'll hear no dissent from me."

"Hey, the more the merrier."

The little woman turned back to the aumaua with a wink. "That settles it, then! Welcome to my retinue, Kana Rua. With you at our shoulders, we ought to make short work of these ghastlies."

His already broad smile broadened ever further. "And we shall hold conference with Maerwald before sundown! I'm certain of it!"

---

Soldier and marauder. Soldier and marauder and Maerwald.

At sundown, they finished burying the keep's former master.

Axa gazed out over the bailey-- her bailey, this was her keep now (??!!)-- at the freshly filled grave next to the chapel. Her thoughts buzzed frantically like a swarm of panicked hornets behind her eyes, and she couldn't focus on a single thought long enough to make sense of any one of them.

No sleep. No sleep for the Watcher.

"I think... I'm going slightly mad."

Edér frowned sympathetically, placed a heavy, calloused hand on the little woman's shoulder. "Hey, c'mon. It ain't as bad as all that, is it?" He'd done most of the digging, being more acquainted with the work than anyone else, and his hand left a sizable smudge of grave dirt on her tunic.

She didn't look at him. "I'm going to go completely mad. I'm a Watcher, and I'm Awakened, and there's some sort of Woedican cult behind it, and if I can't find them, or if they can't undo this, then I'm going to lose my mind and die. Just like him." To her mild surprise, no tears welled in her eyes or spilled down her cheeks. Although her eyes felt hot and swollen, she supposed she was simply too overwhelmed, too exhausted to cry anymore.

Kana, eye level with the woman as she leaned against the adra pillar under which he was seated, studied her face while he considered his approach. "Well... if it's of any comfort to you, you at least know what to expect in regards to your condition. You know where you're going next, you've an entire keep to set yourself up in while you search." That gregarious smile opened up his face again. "And you've a band of loyal flunkies at your beck and call!"

"And a magic talkin' stone chair lady t' take care of most of the housekeeping for you." Edér grinned down at her, brushing the dirt from her shoulder with a casual familiarity. "All things considered, you got dealt a bad hand, but at least the deck is lookin' like it's stacked in yer favor."

Axa pricked up her ears, and turned to regard the blond man with a mix of wonder and disgust. "...I don't know if that's the best or the worst mixed metaphor I've ever heard."

He chuckled as he stuck his pipe between his teeth. "No idea what yer talkin’ about there, lil' darlin'."

She finally laughed, brushing at her dry, sticky eyes with her fists, and Kana laughed too, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "See there! The ship floats yet. Tomorrow the eastern barbican will be restored, and then off to Defiance Bay, where answers abound! ...If Maerwald spoke true, anyway."

Poor woman. They will take you, too--

"Might look for some answers there myself, if you'll go with me." The farmer let loose a plume of smoke as he spoke, failing to finish exhaling before turning to the little Watcher. "Been thinkin' about what I wanted to ask ol' Maerwald before... well, before all that had to go down. About my brother, Woden. Think I might find at least a... hint or somethin' in the big city." He passed his pipe to her, and she did not hesitate to accept it.

"Mysteries upon mysteries!" Kana's booming voice in her ear made her wince. "The Eyeless Seer must have you in their sights, my friend. Pun fully intended!"

"For the love of the gods," she groaned,

For the gods' love! For their love!! the old man sobbed--

a sudden headache gripping her behind the eyes, "is Aloth finished setting up in there or what?"

---

Nae they willnae.

"Oh yes they will. It's inevitable now."

Aloth's grimoire trembled in his hands, sweat dribbling down his temple as he tried to focus. The large, broken brazier he'd dragged into the middle of the great hall wasn't a small target for a spell, but it wasn't exactly a large one either. And it didn't help that Aloth felt as though he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

They willnae find oot, laddie.

"They will. All because someone can't keep their thoughts to themselves."

It hadn't been difficult to convince the others to allow him to set up camp for the night by himself. Axa had not seemed very eager to socialize after she'd landed the killing blow on the old man, and Edér and Kana had quickly volunteered to take care of the remains. And after the confrontation with Maerwald, after what the old Watcher had told them, Aloth had been desperate for solitude.

Fye, they wouldnae need t' find oot aught if ye'd tellt 'em sooth from th' start as ye oughttae--

He'd rushed his recitation, and now he flourished too haphazardly, and the arcane fire he called forth flashed and spouted violently into the rusty little brazier. Aloth hissed with pain and surprise as the unruly flames licked at his face, singed his hair.

"Damn you!" he screamed, whirling quickly around, shielding his face with his arms. "You dare to-- You always do this, you--" The wizard cut himself off. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenched his fists at his sides. He needed to stop and calm down, right now.

One. He exhaled. He inhaled. He exhaled.

Buck up, Corfiser. Your situation is not that dire.

Two. He shook his hands out of their tight fists, flexed his fingers.

No one has any concrete evidence. Of anything. And no one has said anything. Yet.

Three. His shoulders twitched, tried to lock back up, but finally slumped, laden with nervous exhaustion.

They will find out. About... us. That's an inevitability.

Four. His ears, pressed back flat against his head in irritation, started to slowly droop down and forward.

But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Five. His hands hung limp at his sides now. His breathing and heart rate slowed.

For one, the same taboos don't apply here like they do back home. Look at how the others responded to Axa, for instance.

Six. He pressed his lips into a thin line, lowering his head until his chin touched his clavicle.

And if Axa can find out more information about her condition, and if she'll have me along, maybe...

Seven. He wrapped his arms around himself, cupping his elbows in his hands.

But... then, if she finds out about... and Kana has made enemies of them, too-- oh gods, this isn't--

Eight. He started pacing back and forth. He was shaking all of a sudden, gasping for breath.

This isn't working-- Why isn't-- I need to--

Nine. He heard the doors to the Great Hall creak slowly open, but he kept his eyes screwed shut. He couldn't open them, couldn't until ten--

Oh gods, if I've been wrong this whole time--

Ten. He opened his eyes.

Axa touched him on the elbow, and he actually yelped in surprise.

"Axa! I'm-- You're back! H-how can... I help you?" He winced, looking away from her as he felt his face grow warm. Kana was off to his right, humming merrily away and taking notes about the keep's interior or somesuch; Edér was rummaging through his things, likely looking for more whiteleaf.

Axa herself looked at him with concern-- or was that just his imagination?-- and cocked her thumb at the now-calm campfire, the meticulously arranged bedrolls. "You've helped more than enough, I'd say. Thank you for doing this."

He prepared to suppress a relieved smile, but she took care of it for him. "Aloth, are you-- have you been feeling alright?"

"Wh-- well, I mean-- yes, yes, of course, just-- I've just been a bit... distracted, processing some of the... unusual things we've all seen as of late." He never knew how he managed to fool anybody: here he was, heart pounding in his chest, fidgeting, eyes darting to and fro, insisting he was just fine, thank you.

Nevertheless, the little woman regarded him with sympathy and spoke in a low, soothing tone. "That's understandable. I think we've all had some rather unsettling revelations recently."

"We certainly have, you foremost among us." Aloth had started to recover and he straightened up, tugging at his clothes, dusting himself off, all those little tricks he'd learned to explain away his tics and outbursts. "If what Maerwald said is true, your very life and future are in jeopardy."

She frowned, turning her attention away from him-- just as he'd hoped she might-- and sighed heavily, staring at her feet. "Yes. Yes, I've got quite a lot to contend with. Whoever or whatever this Leaden Key is, I have to find them. Sooner the better. My sanity, my life could depend on it."

"Indeed." His composure finally restored to a respectable level, Aloth gave the orlan his best diplomatic smile and nod. "Rest assured, I shall accompany you and render what aid I can on our journey to Defiance Bay."

"Why?"

His heart stopped. "...I beg your pardon?"

A look of shock flashed across her face, followed closely by a bashful grimace. "I'm-- I'm sorry. Never mind. It's been a long day, I... I should get some rest. You, too. Long day tomorrow as well." These last few lines were delivered half-mumbled over her shoulder as she shuffled over toward her belongings, which he had carefully arranged a safe distance from the fire, close by to his own things. He tried, but found he could not muster a verbal farewell, instead struggling to keep a neutral facade even as she walked away from him.

"...I think she knows."

An impatient, long-suffering sigh.

Nae she disnae.

---

Maerwald sat at his hearth and watched his fire. Watched the wood burn.

Axa sat in the Great Hall of Caed Nua's keep and gazed into the makeshift campfire.

I'm sorry, old man. At least... I was able to release your soul from this place. You can truly rest, now.

Her three comrades slept peacefully in their bedrolls, the ugly, dark things in the keep-- her keep-- kept at bay by the light and warmth from the fire and from the Steward, both, Axa imagined. Of course, she found herself unable to rest, although she was exhausted. No sleep for the Watcher.

The soul remembers--

A memory. A memory caused this. And that man, the one in the ruins-- he called that memory forth.

Who is he? Was he? Is he the same person from... from my past life? How is that possible...?

Axa squinted into the flames, trying to remember him. She pictured his face--

--you, Anthea? My child, what--

-- and suddenly powerful waves of emotion hammered the little woman's mind, choking out all other thought. Tears flooded her eyes and poured down her face as just the memory of the man's voice, of his cold, stony stare filled her mind with horror and rage and sorrow for which she had no explanation. If only she could remember more, remember the question she--

--ask him ask him ask him please you have to ask him you have to know you have to have to--

Axa crawled to her bedroll, trembling and sniffling, and collapsed, where she remained for the next eleven hours.

She only slept for four of them.

---

#pillars of eternity #fanfiction #fanfic #poe anthem infinitum #watcher #watcher axa #aloth #eder #kana rua #holy moly this took foreveeerrrrrrrrr #might edit in more song references later

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tumblunni · 6 years

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OH FUCK U GUYS SHOULD I BUY ALL THE KINDGOM HEARTS IN A ONCENESS???

Holy jesus i knew they did hd ps4 ports of the playstation games but they ALSO added all the final mix content that engkishspeaking fans never got during my childhood? And they ALSO remade chain of memories entireky in 3d with Very Animated Ice Dad?? And they ALSO remade BBS despite it not needing it nearly as much as the old games and thet ALSO remade friggin dream drop distance which came out on a goddamn current gen console?? Like they seriously just made a non portable version?? Now all the spinoffs are on the same console at last?? Why did you not just do this in the first place?? I mean the psp and 3ds games were basically ps2 equivelant graphics and disc space anyway...

Oh and fuckin ALLLLSOOOOO

Also the final mixes of all of those! Also a movie version of the plot of khux! And also Coded and Days, which is a really big shame cos Coded is indeed sparse enough on content to deserve it but Days was my FAVOURITE GAME and it sucks its the only one that didnt get remade! I mean its in the same spinoff category as bbs and com, its not a cheapo mess like coded. Nothing else in the series deserves to be shoved in the Coded bin, even khux at least has better plot even if the backtracking and lootbox shit makes it harder to get to it...

Anyway ALSO a random new sidestory with Aqua going thru like one dungeon or somethin?? I dunno?? Its like a glorified tech demo for kh3, its just 'hey fuckin look what we can do visually on a proper ps4 game' and wow how have i never fuckin heard of this it looks so pretty!! I mean i dont know if its even more than 5 hours or somethin but.. Pretty!! And apparantly you get unlockable costumes for her or somethin? I hope they keep that feature in kh3! Itd rock if it wasnt just the main character too, and we could dress up riku and kairi and goofy and donald and roxas and axel and every the friends :3 new secret to how they defeat xehanort: slap a bow on his damn head

ALSO ALSO

All of this is available in one big bundle pack for £90 which ALSO contains literally kh3. THIS IS HOW THEYRE HANDLING PREORDERS?? THATS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO HANDLE PREORDERS!! Get a discounted price on this new game but while youre waiting for it you get to enjoy an (also discounted) giant fuckin 300 hours memory lane compilation of every damn thing from the last 15 years in one beautiful updated package. Holy fuck its like they made this for ME SPECIFICALLY!this is the perfect way to get people back into the franchise who dropped off in The Great KH3 Wait cos they couldnt afford all the damn million portables needed to gather that Dank Lore. God fuckin hell it cost more than the price of this bundle just to play any one of those games individually on some stupid retro machine i bought exclusively for that one damn game. THAT PSP STILL ROTS IN MY KITCHEN CUPBOARD YO

So so so so so

Guys

Please give me permission to buy this

Or like please convince me not to waste my money if you think i'd waste my money??

I really just DONT KNOW! ive been out of the fandom for so long and my last experience was really hatting BBS and feeling horribly out of place as everyone else raved about it being the best thing ever. And i know NOTHING about what kh3 is gonna be or whether its even possible for me to get back into the fandom and like.. Care about it at all again. I just got fuckin fatigued with it and my teenage years were like me clinging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails begging everyone to believe me that Its Still Good, Honestly, Its Worth It while square enix is up there all LONG LIVE THE KING and they push me off. Into a stampede of PSPs. Somehow.

And then aaargh i know i literally only came back to the fandom because organization xiii fuckin eternally holds my heart in their lil grabby hands. It was indeed a good nostalgic moment remembering how i loved them! And getting a new appreciation for Vexen and being blown away by how much he should have been my favourite but i just never got to play COM as a kid and then when i played it as an adult all the way after bbs i ended up quitting before even getting to meet half the org cos this one stupid 'defeat 99 shadows jn 99 seconds' mission kicked my ass. I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT ACTION RPGS OKAY!

Aaaagh thats another Big Worry, yknow? Like asa kid i was Bad, as an adult i'm Barely Better , and as a both i never enjoyed beat em up thingies of any kind at all. And on top of that i was never big into disney, i never saw them as any sort of 'childhood magic' but just some naff cliche shit retelling public domain fairy tales in the safest way possible with a bunch of obnoxious celebrity cameos. Also lion king and snow white terrified me as a kid. Also i associated robin hood with my dead grandma. Also as a kid i couldnt appreciate good artistic ability or voiceacting, i was all about the story, yknow? And most of kh's adaptations are really rushed and barebones versions of an already shoddy story, without any of the visual splendor. ALSO i never saw any of the darker or more emotionally focused stuff like Hunchback and Beauty and the Beast until way after i quit playing kingdom hearts, oddly enough. Wtf beauty and thebeast is actually real good and looks so far beyond its time!! Wtf hunchback has my goddamn evil dad in it!! Why did i miss the only good didneys!! Why did snow white traumatize me and those didnt!!

ANYWAY the point im getting at is that im not inherantly predisposed to like.. Any of kingdom hearts's appeal at all. I didnt know half the disneys and i didnt have any hype for the others. None of my fave final fantasy games made it into it until the sequel and then never again after that. CMON I CANT JUST DEAL WITH ONE VIVI CAMEO Y'ALL! And i haaaate the genre and its an uphill struggle to play a game like that with my stupid inelegant sausage hands. So i just came for the story and then everything after the first game has been conspiring to ruin it for me, sheesh! I felt so much for that short concise self contained first episode and then i fall more and more out of love as they establish this status quo of everything being retconnable so dont bother get attatched to it. Blablabla the entire worldbuilding is different now and everyone was secretly someone else and please memorize a bunch of shit from fifty fuckin spinoffs and also time travel and cloning suddenly exist and ALSO Grandpa Onlyblackmanintheworld is generic motiveless evil and everything was him even of it looked like it was actually a sympathetic villain. *insert dio meme face*

So yeah now im just.. In it for the characters?? And the cute art style and monsters and lovely animations and big fanfic oc potentials stuff. But man even tho i had Big Feel for those things i was able to completely drop it all and forget about the series for years, that was just HOW BAD the kh3 drought was. Steven universe hiatus eat your heart out...

So ffff i dont even KNOW if i'll be able to get feels'd for these characters again or if they actually hold up to modern bunni standards of huggable. And i know all the ones i want to hug the most got like zero sympathy and all died horribly and were also retroactively revealed to be clone oldmanvirus somethingy and aaaaaagh. But also something something people say they all came back and got cured?? And this is why?? I am here?? Again?? And buying?? The thing??

Like man fuck i am already building it up so much in my head aaaa what if i dont actually love axel as much as i used to love axel and i dont love Grumply Science as much as i always love That Character Archetype seriously MAN how was he like THE ONLY ONE I DIDNT GET TO SEE AS A KID

Aaauuuuaggh gahhh like maybe this will reignite my passion for the series or maybe i'll just be all critical and dumb and waste all my moneys

Guys... What do??

#tho i mean i did see the five seconds of vexen u get in days and i know generally what he's like from wikis and fanart #i just mean that i dont know how he really is in his actual starring game and whether any of the sympathetic dadness is canon #plz do #i wanna cry for dad #i mean u made me suddenly cry for saix and ship him with axel as soon as all that stuff was revealed in bbs #i also never finished bbs so i dont know how much we got to learn about apprentice era vexen and baby zexion #like is it actually canon that vexen was his fathee figure? do you actyally see them being cute?#or are people just theorizing?#its so hard to know whats theories in this fandom cos when u waited for a sequel for almost a decade there are a lot of theories lol

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blueoatmeal · 7 years

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TFA Longarm Prime & Shockwave playlist analysis/breakdown

8/3/2017

TFA spoilers!

[Longarm Prime mix] [Shockwave mix]

Alrighty folks, my good buddy @incomingtransmissionfromearth has asked me if I might make a breakdown of my thought process when making these mixes (as I did for my tfa Blurr mix), and I am elated to fulfill that request!

These mixes are linked pretty thoroughly, so I’ll be covering both on this post. It’s,, ahahaha, going to get pretty long, so I’ll remember to use a readmore this time!

Both/The Basics

I wanted the playlists to not only accurately portray Shockwave’s two different characters, Longarm Prime and his true self Shockwave, through lyrics and individual songs that fit, but to tonally differentiate between the two, so that the playlists would actually evoke different feelings from the listener.

I wanted Longarm’s mix to be generally more upbeat or mellow and light, while also being a touch melancholy, with hints of the darkness lurking underneath. I wanted it to seem more sympathetic towards the character of Longarm Prime. “Isn’t it hard to be a spy, to work in intelligence? So many secrets, and trust is such an expensive commodity. But you can trust me; I’m on your (the Autobot’s) side, and friendly, and if the government’s a bit whack, don’t worry, conform and it’ll work out fine!”

Also, in the back of my head I had the notion that Longarm was a kind of victim in his situation with Shockwave--not literally though: There have been many AU ideas where Longarm was originally an Autobot, who was being basically possessed by Shockwave, or where Shockwave’s mind had fractured into two entirely separate personas, or where Soundwave killed the real Longarm and took his place. Some of those AUs hold appeal for me, and while I wanted my mixes to adhere to canon, I wanted to keep a little bit of that feeling from the AUs, where Longarm is really more of an unwitting (or only partially self-aware) pawn, and not only the chessmaster in disguise. I justified this with the idea that Shockwave would probably try to portray Longarm similarly if he was caught, if only so that he wouldn’t be killed outright for truly being a full Decepticon. Pull out the “pity me” card. It felt like the sort of lie he’d try to pull off if he was put into a situation that necessitated it. He did try, in one episode, to deter Bulkhead and Bumblebee from shooting him by transforming from Shockwave to Longarm and trying to say that he was their old friend. The weren’t having that, of course, and shot him anyway. I did have more AU-ish leaning songs in the mix, but I cut them.

With Shockwave’s mix, I wanted a vastly different feeling, so that the two mixes really contrasted. I wanted it to be much darker, much more sinister, finally revealing the truths that Longarm’s mix hinted at. I wanted it to be scary and serious; less lighthearted and more cold and ominous. The mask has been taken off and the thing underneath is a devious monster.

Now of course Shockwave has his silly moments too, so both mixes together accurately portray both Longarm and Shockwave as a whole. But I wanted to distill the ideas OF those characters, in their separateness, and put them in these contrasting mixes.

It’s almost like the two mixes represent not only the characters themselves, but the perceptions of them from the viewpoint of other characters. Longarm is a kind but odd dork who’s competent at his job, which is Head of Intelligence, while Shockwave is the guiding force behind the curtain who manipulates events, secretly murders bots that are in his way, and looms like a shadow in the minds of those who may only know him by his impressive reputation as Megatron’s most trusted spy.

I spent a LOT of time on these mixes and developed both simultaneously. I had once considered making one long playlist, but with the disparity in tone, I thought two would be better. You want upbeat, listen to Longarm; you want dark, listen to Shockwave. Besides, it puts more of a separation between the two identities.

From the beginning, I wanted both mixes to tie into each other, and to a lesser extent, to tie into my previously published tfa Blurr mix. I mentioned this intent in a post a while back, actually. I wanted the small Blurr tie-in because of, naturally, the fact that they worked together (Longarm) in the CIA, and then Shockwave committed what was probably the darkest on-screen act in the entirety of tfa when he “killed” Blurr. It was a significant event for both characters in the course of the show, and it made such an impression on me that I just had to include a nod to it.

Recommended listening: Longarm mix first, then Shockwave’s.

Don’t Let It Show (Longarm Prime mix)

Alternate titles: “Watch What You Say,” or “Words You’re Gonna Regret”

Very 80s

Alludes to darker or malicious acts without dipping into a truly dark tone or feel.

As the playlist goes on, it transitions from comfortably undercover to under suspicion.

Suspicion: the first song I had for this mix. Lyrics fit so well~! “In the park, yesterday, I saw a face that spelled danger, A friendly smile, a worried look, I mistook for a stranger” Introduces the “face/faces” motif.

Don’t Let It Show provided the title of the mix. This track is meant to make Longarm more sympathetic by highlighting how hard it is to hide his true self and work among bots that he cannot trust and who may put their trust in him, when he knows he is going to break that trust someday. “Even if it's taking the easy way out, Keep it inside of you. Don't give in. Don't tell them anything. Don't let it, Don't let it show.”

Everybody Wants to Rule the World has the government surveillance feel. “Even while we sleep, We will find you, Acting on your best behaviour, Turn your back on mother nature, Everybody wants to rule the world” It also feels like some of the lyrics could be taken as the Decepticons wanting to take back Cybertron.

Every Breath You Take has a strong surveillance/spy/CIA vibe to it. Also the lyrics are super creepy but the song shrugs it off like nah dude it’s fine it’s not creepy to literally watch everything that somebody does. “Every breath you take and every move you make, Every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you, Every single day and every word you say, Every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you”

You Don't Believe: now this one is a remnant of that AU stuff I mentioned, where Longarm and Shockwave are more separate, and Shockwave controls Longarm. Aside from that though, it explores duality and has these lovely lines: “And the face I see before me, Is both sides of a mirror, You really know you've got a hold on me, And the face you're looking into, Is both sides of a window, And any way you look you see through me” “my eyes, with your vision” This track has both the “faces” and “eyes” motif. The “eyes” motif is used more thoroughly in the Shockwave mix.

The Logical Song has the theme of conformity. Shockwave has to pretend to be an upstanding Autobot citizen by day, just to be accepted (and to carry out his insidious mission), while at night he can realize his true self. Also the word “logical” is a nice nod to G1 Shockwave. “Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical, liberal, fanatical, criminal. Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!” Also a nod to the fact that the Autobot government is messed up.

Talking In Your Sleep is another track about hearing secrets that aren’t meant for the listener to hear. Upbeat and light. “And I know that I'm right, Cuz I hear it in the night, I hear the secrets that you keep, When you're talking in your sleep”

Private Eyes is absolutely perfect. Eyes motif. “You can’t escape my private eyes” “Why you try to put up a front for me/ I'm a spy but on your side you see/ Slip on, into any disguise/ I'll still know you/ Look into my private eyes” IT’S SO PERFECT.

Chateau is a tie-in to Blurr’s mix. Blurr has Classical Gas, a faster song, and this is from the same artist, on the same album. I read into the tone of this song really heavily. It’s light and carefree, then darker and more dissonant, then light again, and I really just picked this song on gut feeling rather than solid reasoning.

The Grand Illusion has the theme of illusion and falsehoods, indicating that the media can be used to make you feel or think things that aren’t true. “But don't be fooled by the radio, The TV or the magazines, They show you photographs of how your life should be, But they're just someone else's fantasy”

You’ve Got a Friend in Me is in this mix purely because of the “friendly neighborhood Longarm Prime” act that he puts on. He acts so friendly and nice and it's ALL LIES!

Party In The CIA is pretty straightforward; this covers Longarm’s duties as part of the Cybertron Intelligence Agency--the CIA. “So I get my handcuffs, my cyanide pills, my classified dossier/ tapping the phones like yeah/ shredding the files like yeah/ I memorized all the enemy spies I gotta neutralize today/ yeah it's a party in the CIA” “I've done a couple of crazy things that have almost gotten me dismissed/ like terminate some head of state who wasn't even on my list/ burn that microfilm, buddy, will you?/ I'd tell you why but then I'd have to kill you/ you need a quickie confession?/ We'll start a water boarding session”

Somethin’ to Hide: really just a reference to the fact that Longarm is hiding his true identity. Touches briefly on the “face” motif. “You've got somethin' to hide, That you're not telling me, You got somethin' to hide, And I know, Well there's something about you and I know, That you're not telling me”

Mirror Man: Change is a big theme in this one, which is fitting considering how Shockwave changes to Longarm and back with his size-changing ability. “And if it seems I'm not the one you used to know, Our little friendship left behind not long ago, Don't feel too hurt as distance heals the strongest pain, Things are much better now and just a nagging doubt remains”

I Know There's Something Going On: more on the theme of change. “I can see that it won't be long, You grow cold when you keep holding on, You know you've changed and your words they lie, That's something you can't deny, I know there's something going on”

Jekyll And Hyde One of the best examples one could use for dualities and hidden identities. Face motif. “Duplicated man, inside, double tied/ Prisoner, he's back to back, face to face/ Mirrored shadows always changing place/ Separated man himself he divides/ Opposite needs he can't see where to hide/ A single double side - Jekyll and Hyde/ This man was good, he was calm/ He'd never do any harm/ Gentle soul as you may see/ As caring as he could be/ Deep down inside he hides/ A twist that we maybe missed/ Confusion and nasty trick of fate/ Might be the break/ Don't find yourself too late/ Now who's outside, inside, Jekyll and Hyde” Jekyll being Longarm, of course, and Hyde, Shockwave.

Tangled up: this song does play briefly with identities, but mostly I added this song because of this post of Longarm getting his arms tangled up. Somebody replied to the post with this song, and that was the first time I’d heard it. Later I revisited the song and decided I liked it and that it fit well enough to use. “I can’t separate your sins, To me you’re acting like you’re twins. This is a mess, Is this a test? How many guesses do I get? Till only one of you is left, You're quite the same”

Ain't Nobody But Me mentions Jekyll and Hyde, and some dualities. “Well, you can run, you, know he'll find you, It don't matter now, just look behind you, You had your warn, and you knew the score, You got it wrong, and that means war” And in the main chorus” “ain’t nobody but me/ gonna lie for you/ gonna die for you” could be interpreted as Shockwave’s loyalty to Megatron.

Shadow Play: ANOTHER reference to Jekyll and Hyde! “In the flinty light, it's midnight/ And stars collide/ Shadows run, in full flight/ To run, seek and hide/I'm still not sure what part I play/ In this shadow play, this shadow play.” The idea of a shadow play infers hidden intentions and hidden people controlling things from behind the scenes, like he is. Also convenient nod to IDW Shockwave, who was subject to a procedure called shadowplay.

Goodbye Mr A: to be honest, this is more a nod to other Shockwaves, who tend to be unemotional and obsessed with logic. “There's a hole in your logic, You who know all the answers, oh-oh-oh, You claim science ain't magic, And expect me to buy it” It could also be interpreted as to play with the idea that Longarm’s persona was imperfect, hollow. “You promised you would love us but you knew too much” “You had all the answers but no human touch/ If life is subtraction, your number is up/ Your love is a fraction, it's not adding up” “So busy showing me where I'm wrong/ You forgot to switch your feelings on”

This World of Fools (Shockwave mix)

Alternate title: “Dealing with Fools”

“This World of Fools” is a line from “Dr. Heckyll & Mr. Jive,” a song that’s more science-y and therefore didn’t fit here as well with the other songs. It’s in my tfa Perceptor mix though.

More alternative and dubstep

This playlist in particular went through a lot of changes, a lot of cuts, before I decided I liked it enough to publish

When researching for songs, I read the wiki page of Corey Burton, voice actor for Longarm Prime/Shockwave, and G1 Shockwave. I found that he had lent his voice to music producer ShockOne (ShockOne, eh?) for an album. I checked it out and took the first song, Singularity (The Monochord of Creation from it. Burton does talk in the second song, Chaos Theory (actually the two songs flow into each other as one larger song here), but he uses a swear that I’m not comfortable using in my mixes, so I just stuck to the first song. So like, that’s awesome. Got his VA in the mix! Dark song, ominous.

The Game Has Changed: IT SURE HAS. If the first song didn’t already indicate it, this TRON Legacy song should let the listener know that Things Are Different Now--alluding to the switch from Longarm to Shockwave, and his change in method once he’s outed. Less subtlety, more death and destruction coming up. This song is one that ties into the Blurr mix’s Outlands, another song from the same soundtrack. A vague and mostly insubstantial tie-in, sure, but that’s how I wanted it. The majority of the song is alternately softer and louder, orchestral and synthesized, until it crescendos in the last thirty seconds.

Sirius & Eye in the Sky: A nod back to Longarm, with the sort of mellow tone that is found more in his mix, but with lyrics that fit Shockwave pretty well: “I am the eye in the sky/ Looking at you/ I can read your mind/ I am the maker of rules/ Dealing with fools/ I can cheat you blind.” Besides, come on, Eye In the Sky is better for the guy with one eye. (Eye motif!) (Also 8tracks only lets me use two Alan Parsons Project songs per playlist, and I already had two in Longarm’s mix, so this had to go SOMEWHERE! It was too perfect to cut.)

Dangerous: @incomingtransmissionfromearth had introduced me to the Oliver remix of this song, which fits nicely, but I personally enjoyed the sound of the original more, so I used that. The lyrics fit SO WELL. It felt like Shockwave’s thoughts as he was still undercover, and then when he’d just been found out. “How could you know, how could you know'/ That those were my eyes/ Peepin through the floor, it's like they know/ It's like they know I'm looking from the outside/ And creeping to the door, it's like they know” “And I've gotta get out of here/ Sink down, into the dark” More eyes motif!

Escape From Midwich Valley has staticky samples that sound like bad comm connections or tapped comm lines. This glitch track adds to the apprehensive mood of the mix.

The Friendly Faithplate is from Portal 2, which stars another one-eyed, manipulative, facetious robot antagonist. Very glitch-heavy track.

@glitterhobo introduced me to Change the Formality a while ago, and I like it very much. It has an odd mix of sounds, and generally makes me feel very serious. It’s an intense song, in an odd way. “I try to change the formality and everything about it/ People killing people for a reason/ You make mistakes/ You don't regret/ So make a conclusion”

In Your Eyes is repetitive and kind of vaguely spooky, like something that’s subtly wrong. Also another example of the “eye/eyes” imagery/motif that persists in both mixes, especially Shockwave’s.

The Devil Within is like Shockwave’s message to the Autobots he’s infiltrated: You’ll never see me coming, I put up with hell to stay here, but I’ll destroy you from the inside out and disappear without a trace. “You'll never know what hit you/ Won't see me closing in/ I'm gonna make you suffer/ This hell you put me in/ I'm underneath your skin/ The devil within/ You'll never know what hit you”

THIS TRACK, WHOOO BOY, I LOVE IT Private Eyes, cover by Lenachka of course ties in with the same song, the original Private Eyes, in Longarm’s mix. It’s the same lyrics, but far more ominous and dark. The lyrics fit so well!!!! Also keeps up the eyes motif! “ You can't escape my/ Private Eyes/ They're watching you/ They see your every move“ Also the “you can’t escape” bit reminds me of that scene with Blurr.

Every Breath You Take, cover by Chase Holfelder, another cover, the original of which is in Longarm’s mix. More menacing inflection to the lyrics, which fit so nicely~! “Every move you make/ Every vow you break/ Every smile you fake/ Every claim you stake/ I'll be watching you”

Hal 9000 has that dubstep feel, with samples of Hal 9000′s dialogue from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Hal, another frightening one-red-eyed character with some VERY calm yet threatening lines, and a creepy death scene. ”I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me. And I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.”

C.L.U., another song from TRON Legacy (and therefore another tie-in to Blurr’s mix) comes at the scene where the main antagonist chases the protagonists and fights them to the (supposed) death, while another character does in fact lose his life. It’s intense, it’s very apprehensive, building up a feeling of action, and the imagery it brings, especially if you’ve seen the movie, is very dark and technologic.

"The Outer Limits" Theme Song is ominous, loud, and creepy. The voice tells you that they are in complete control. Just as Shockwave held control over Cybertron Intelligence.

Messing with the Program is a tie-in to Blurr’s mix, which has Sugar Rush Showdown, the track in which the antagonist’s true identity is revealed during a race. In this track, the antagonist illegally screws with the coding that dictates how their world works, altering it to his own advantage. Sounds like how Shockwave was pulling all the strings while undercover in the CIA.

The Truth is another Blurr mix tie-in! Blurr’s mix has Escape, the motorcycle chase scene from the beginning of the LEGO Movie, and The Truth is a track from the same soundtrack, in which the antagonist reveals his true plan to control the world, and sends the protag plummeting to certain death.

Another Way Out is honestly just good for anyone who’s ever tried to escape Shockwave, including Blurr. Upbeat and menacing. The lyrics are all soooo good. “I don't think no one's home/ And we're just here alone/ I better find you first/ before you find the phone/ You better run, better run, better run, yeah I’m coming after you/ When you’re sleeping at night, yeah there’s nothing you can do/ There’s no place you can hide 'cause I’m coming after you/ I wish there was another way ou-ou-ou-ou-out for you”

Ambiance 03 is just straight-up soundtrack from a horror game, so... yeah. Creepy distorted screaming. Extremely ominous ambiance. Repetitive. The last track I added to the mix.

The Part Where He Kills You: from Portal 2, of course. One-eyed antagonist betrays protag and tries very hard to kill them. Loud, exciting, alarms blaring, impending doom implied.

No.6 Suicide Room (６号室の自殺 ) AHAAHA OKAY SO I first encountered this song in a horror game and IT’S CREEPY AS HECK, creaky floors, ticking clock, phone ringing, and thEN AT THE END IT GETS QUIET AND YOU HEAR A DRAWN-OUT, PAINFUL-SOUNDING SCREAM and listen I’m not going to beat around the bush here; in this mix, THAT IS MEANT TO BE BLURR SCREAMING. You can interpret it as really anyone Shockwave’s killed, but I’m not gonna lie to you; I heard this song and thought YIKES DUDE,,, THAT’S BLURR. Also the perfect track to end the playlist on.

#oatmealspeaks #blueoatmeal's work #/#//#///#analysis #Longarm Prime #Shockwave #transformers #tfa #transformers animated #if I typed Soundwave accidentally... know that I meant Shockwave

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