#i need these on my blog for reasons i can't disclose....

[erikisser]

sunwoo ig update (231120)

#died #i'm dead on the ground #the hair .......... #sunwoo #kim sunwoo #the boyz #tbz #i need these on my blog for reasons i can't disclose.... #001

[impunkster-syndrome]

actually people are allowed to set whatever boundaries they want on their blog. some people have conflicting accessibility needs. a person with visual impairment may need the lights really bright, an autistic person may find this overstimulating & need to go elsewhere. that doesn't make any need any less valid, it just means they need different things. same with people who don't want to interact with systems for whatever reason. some people have anxiety that gets triggered by talking to too many people at once. some people are schizospec & need to stay away from systems because they spark specific delusions (me!). some people have disabilities or mental illnesses that make it impossible to keep track of that many people in one body so they say not to interact so they don't accidentally disrespect anyone. some people have brain injuries or intellectual disabilities that prevent them from even understanding what a system is so they say dni to make their online safe space less confusing or (in some cases) hostile. some people have their own ptsd, & are uncomfortable being around others with severe trauma because it reminds them of their own experiences & triggers them. there are so many reasons why someone may not want to interact with systems to preserve their own well-being. some people have traumatic memories tied to specific pieces of media, so they want to stay away from introjects from said media to avoid being triggered & to avoid disrespecting the introject. it isnt ableism, it's a conflict of needs. nobody is obligated to disclose their reason for not wanting to do something, no means no. & in this case, it's no systems. the best part of tumblr is how customizable it is, with blockable tags & the like. you dont have to interact with people who upset you. they dont want you to interact with them either. just leave each other alone & everyone will be better off. & btw, please tag your posts about DID/OSDD with something to do with DID, OSDD, systems, or plurality so people who have the tags blocked dont get your posts in their feed.

Anon, go fuck yourself. Seriously. I'm not going to tag my fucking existence as a system which is out of my control so others will avoid me. That's on you to protect yourself and avoid systems. My posts about plurality are tagged properly.

Bitch I'm fucking reeling from finding alice in wonderland type of programming at 4 AM. If the fucking existence of people with trauma being around you is triggering, remove yourself from that space. You don't get to go to a tag for people commonly called "mad" which has significant overlap with plurality and trauma and demand people there tag their existence for your comfort. It's a fucking political movement. Deconstruct your comfort ableism dear god.

How do you enforce this offline then? You fucking can't. Expecting people to trigger tag their existence for you contributes to stigma of those conditions and is so fucking entitled.

Guess what! I'm fucking psychotic (reclaimed) and deal with anxiety. That would never, ever make it less ableist for me to do that.

The fucking existence of someone else is not a conflicting need with accessibility. That is entirely on you to use tags and content filtering.

Go fuck yourself, I have every right to be angry and upset with your ableism.

On second read, you don't seem to understand that frequently not all people in a system speak at once. Please go fucking educate yourself. Not all systems cofront or are coconscious.

#the blackbox askbox #madpunk #comfort ableism #ableism #Implying that system members are less real with big number counts #Trying to use exotrauma hypervigilance as an excuse to be shitty to people #Implying that disabled people need to be coddled by other disabled people and can't protect themself #Wow anon you're a whole mess of ableism aren't cha

[donniesexceptionalmind]

helloo :) 

i’m new to your blog and I really like it! i saw that ur open to asks? 

there’s been something on my mind recently. i appreciate any advice you have. 

for some time now, there have been a lot of derogatory autism-jokes, misinformation, stereotypes circulating around my school. as part of a “c.a.s” related venture (service-as-action towards my community), I want to do something about this, as it’s really bothering me. 

as to why it’s bothering me, im really affected by injustice and ignorance in the world, it’s something I find hard to let go of. and I think I might be audhd or in some way neurodivergent and I guess advocating/learning about neurodiversity has become one of my special interests.

all that aside, I’m unsure how to approach this. I feel like simply holding a “psa” that explains what autism is and de-bunks stereotypes isn’t realistically going to help change the minds of a bunch of teenagers and stop the hate. What can I actually do by myself to create change in some manner? 

tysmm:)    (also, if you can see my username, id appreciate it if it wasn’t shared with your audience.)

Greetings & I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your incredible ask. /g

The world needs more awareness & more non-ableist information about autism & we need to stop the hate & injustice & ignorance against us. Not all autistic people are able to raise their voices against the system because of many reasons, which is why we have to stand together as a whole - including every autistic person, taking different perspectives in (e.g. non-speaking autistics are often excluded, which is SO wrong in SO MANY ways). I could write another million words about it.

Yes, I think simply giving a lecture is not the solution to get heard & listened to. It's difficult to give a specific advice here, but if you are already part of a group that wants to change something or at least give support - that's something.

If you are autistic & safe 'to be like you are', consider the following, because that is what I do.

Unmask your traits, explore them & express them. TAKE UP SPACE. Be open with your struggles, respect your way of being & your way of experiencing the world. It's hard work, even if you are supported. //I was not supported & I was not able to disclose that I am autistic at first & I still am not able to publicly, but I still try to advocate for my needs & try to build my confidence.//

Talk about your traits. Start a blog online about it. If you can, raise awareness in some way, like I do. It can comfort others & maybe inspire (that is what I wish for with my work). If you can't do that (which is totally valid), support the people who do so, share their work. Also do tons of research, get as much knowledge as you can so you can fight stereotypes.

If you want to support us, work with us. Support us. Stop hate & bullying when you see it. Stop negative talk about autism when you hear it. Make existing ableism visible.

Also, if you want to support us & you're not autistic yourself:

Respect our need for accomodations & reasonable adjustments

Support us & RESPECT US when we are not masking, support & respect the ones who can't mask, the ones that are non-verbal, the ones with other disabilities - RESPECT THE WHOLE SPECTRUM

Support us when we can't work or be 'productive'

Listen to us & believe us when we tell about our experiences

Support us when we struggle to communicate, when we miss cues & don't assume we're rude

Do not belittle us, regardless of how high our support needs is - they can change from day to day

Do not JUDGE us for not living according to the standard allistics are used to.

Instead, try to make the world more accessible for us.

I hope I was able to give some input! (I definitely haven't covered all)

#donnie speaks #donnie answers #donnies exceptional mind #turtle net #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt autistic donnie #rise autistic donnie #autistic traits #autistic pride #autism awareness #autism spectrum disorder #autism #autistic donatello #autistic donnie

[saltymcsaltything]

I know I am conditioned by trauma to see red flags everywhere and assume the worst of anyone I don't know and trust because experience has shown that it's the safer default, so it's very hard not to see malice and contempt in the behavior and words of @photomatt

But I am trying to turn that off enough to appeal to reason, because in reflecting on his most recent posts in particular, I think it's possible, however much my instincts scream otherwise, that he's just ignorant of what the trans community experiences and actually can't understand why we see his words and actions as harmful and transphobic.

This entire debacle keeps making me think of the double empathy problem - he cannot possibly understand the truly vile hate and abuse we are exposed to on this site or the lengths even small blogs have to go to in order to curate our experience into something that feels remotely safe. Many of us have been physically and sexually assaulted because of our gender and we are at risk of being murdered. TERFs on this site *gleefully celebrate the deaths of trans people including children* and actively target people with a history of self harm and suicidal ideation. That is the context of trans lives that has him painting us as toxic for mocking him and his overreaction to 'threats' that most of us wouldn't even bat an eye at. I don't doubt that anons and DMs have been sent to him that are far worse than the hammer car thing, but he's still only seeing a tiny sliver of the hate levelled against trans people. Maybe if he considers how what he is experiencing happens every day ending with Y for any trans blogger with a sizeable following and that Tumblr's track record for taking action against that is beyond abysmal, he might snap out of this pattern of centering himself over the user's who have been pushed past their breaking point by the years of failure in addressing biased moderation and complete lack of visible action against hate speech. If he does, maybe there's an opportunity to actually see something positive come from this.

@photomatt, I am going to attempt to put aside my visceral aversion to so much of what you've said and done over the last few days and try to get you to understand *why* you've faced the backlash you have, because it is clear you do not really understand our experiences and cannot empathize with them. And please don't claim that you do, your actions and tone towards us say otherwise and it's insulting to watch you claim allyship when you have contributed to the harm we endure on a daily basis. You need to sit with th knowledge that you have hurt us because of your ignorance, reflect, and start actually listening to us. Stop centering yourself and work to see what your actions, words, and the past and present failures of Tumblr as an organization have done to the trans community. Keep in mind that you admitted to having a contract moderator that was actively targeting us and colluding with others to do the same, and understand that the harm done by that didn't disappear when they were dealt with - if anything disclosing that ripped open gaping wounds, and your actions since have poured salt in them.

I doubt this is worth the effort at this point since you seem to have fully entrenched your defensiveness and your framing of a community in the current political climate that is constantly under threat of actual, life threatening physical violence for the crime of existing as "toxic", but if you have even an ounce of humility and genuine desire to support us, I hope you'll consider taking a step back and reflecting on your recent behavior from the perspective of users who have seen communities they have painstakingly built on Tumblr where we had a modicum of safety repeatedly decimated by disastrous policies and practices, and who have for years been actively targeted by bigots who want to see us erased from existence and openly brag about their attacks. Put yourself in the shoes not of a CEO but someone who's existence is under theat on multiple levels on a daily basis, and then read the way that you, the most powerful person on the platform talks about a member of the community who was the target of a malicious campaign of harassment, mass reporting, hate speech, vile accusations and death threats. Try to see what we see - especially the avoidance of the biggest issue for the community, which is the harassment campaign that TERFs are gloating about in the notes of your posts.

Behavior is communication, and your behavior feels *abusive* given your position of power in the context of what we face on a daily basis. Users desperate for a scrap of hope that the common threats that we are faced with on this platform might be dealt with in a meaningful way saw the most powerful person on the platform focusing solely on the "violations" of a single user who was being brigaded by one of the most vitriolic and toxic groups on the platform. Not addressing the harassment being visited on her spoke volumes - it told us you *do not care* about the harm that is done to us on a daily basis by bad actors, but you absolutely care about whats directed at you and @staff. While I sympathize with line level employees who are caught in the cross fire of the backlash you incited with your ignorance and callous disregard for a community that is routinely traumatized, I don't have much empathy to spare for those in leadership who have a level of power and privilege no ordinary user on this platform comes close to having, especially after witnessing how quickly you will wield that power to protect *your* in-group and yourself from a *sliver* of the abuse the trans community endures on a daily basis. It was sickening witnessing how quickly blogs mocking you were banned when people who have done *far worse* to us for years have been able to do so with impunity under your watch when all it would take us for you to look at a single report of the hate and abuse we report and wield the same ban hammer against people who should have been held accountable *years* ago. Knowing you would do for you and yours but not for us is utterly depressing.

And it's not only the trans community dealing with hate speech, death threats and harassment, but in this instance that was who your behavior was harming when you showed what you were capable of doing to protect your people when the issue you repeatedly failed to address but clearly could have was the *massive* flood of hate that the trans community repeatedly reports but sees scant evidence of any response. If there *is* meaningful action in the background, the lack of transparency makes it meaningless because from our perspective there isn't anything being dive to address mass coordinated harassment campaigns that *should* be easy to mask since so much of it is copy/paste anon hate spammed in asks. You claim standard policy is to not comment on moderation decisions but then decided to make an exception in this instance to, from our perspective, shit on a victim of a targeted smear campaign and make claims about their behavior that did not match the evidence you made available, while invoking law enforcement action against someone who is at increased risk of police violence and then doubling down on how much *you and your people* were being hurt when criticized for failing to address the entire situation and for centering your own feelings over an entire community who's suffering on your platform you fail to acknowledge.

Make an exception and tell us what you've actually done to address transphobic harassment. Not doing so when you made an exception to talk about the victim of one of their campaigns is a bad look and is part of why you are being accused of upholding and enabling systemic transphobia. Sticking to your policy of silence for transphobes but making an exception to talk about a banned trans user looks pretty biased,and given the well documented track record of Tumblr when it comes to bias against the LGBTQIA+ community, it's a really bad look. As CEO you should be sufficiently cognizant of the history of these issues and the ongoing problems with moderation to recognize how easy it is for users which have been conditioned to expect the worst to see this as biased. You desperately need to gain some perspective before putting your keystrokes out there on these issues

Your behavior has hurt vulnerable people. It has made people feel unsafe. You're angry about being called a transphobe, but your actions have harmed the trans community and your inaction in addressing those targeting us looks like tacit approval of their behavior. If you cannot clearly and unequivocally commit to take action against the transphobic harassment we face from malicious users on the platform, then your inaction creates and upholds systemic transphobia. Your intentions and principles are immaterial when the impact is harmful. If that hurts you so much to be called out for upholding and enabling transphobia, *do something about it*

I don't think you can be reached at this point and I am not even sure that assuming your intentions are not deliberately malicious is even reasonable, but I would sure like to be proven wrong for once.

But I won't hold my breath. Long before this situation I had blocked you for your ableist behavior regarding forced animations. Suggesting that disabled users could simply pay for premium features in order to have a safe user experience was a stunningly insensitive take. That comment belied your ignorance of the potentially fatal effects of visually triggered seizure disorders and the widespread prevalence and debilitating symptoms of other visually triggered conditions like vertigo and migraine. Your embrace of the prevailing societal opinion that actually, making disabled people pay more to exist at every possible opportunity is just good business was disheartening and caused me to write you off as a fake ally. All you have done recently is provide further evidence that my suspicions were well founded, and at this point if you don't wake up and start actually working to address your failures instead of becoming defensive and painting people you have hurt as toxic, you won't have any users left on this site but the transphobes you are protecting, inadvertently or otherwise. I guarantee other communities are watching you closely and spotting the sane red flags that the disability and trans communities have. You have a lot of work to do to repair the damage you've inflicted and to start actually fixing the problems that have plagued this site for years. None of us are going to want to support this site financially ever again if you continue to behave like this, so your threats to abandon Tumblr are toothless because people are already leaving. You have a chance to salvage this situation if you are actually willing to do the work, and then maybe you can actually monetize things on here in a way that doesn't alienate the user base so that people are actually happy to support the platform.

If you actually believe in the principles you posted, actively work to uphold them *here* take action to protect and support the trans community instead of stepping on a landmine you easily could have avoided by seeking perspective before responding. Prove that you are actually doing something about Nazis and transphobes - give us an option to report transphobic hate speech specifically and release metrics - reports submitted and actions taken. Hell, release metrics on all of the reports - some of those mass reporting campaigns should be pretty easy to spot.

Please actually give a shit about users. You have a great deal of power and you have welded it against vulnerable people. However justified you may feel in doing so, you're still contributing to harm, and you should rethink the way you respond because it makes you appear vindictive and capricious.

[filthforfriends]

okay friends. I've received a handful of asks about Giorgia recently asking me comment on basically two things. 1. Her berating Damiano on her insta story. 2. Her getting diagnosed with ADHD and talking about how those traits negatively impacted her relationship.

Thing is I don't follow Gio. I've only checked her story about 4ish times this year. So as always, but especially now, I NEED SCREESHOTS. I can't comment on material I don't have. But before sending, read the rest of this post plz.

Time to dispel the myth that I'm a fan of Gio when I've been acting from the baseline of compassion I have for all semi-decent human beings. Every critique of Giorgia with even the faintest whiff of validity has already been discussed at length by people more qualified than me. So I tried to focus on the positives where it was appropriate, when it was appropriate (as in when D+G were together). But that got misconstrued in comparison to the norm which is seething hatred. It looks like I have some special allegiance to Giorgia when my allegiance is to my humanity.

Tbh I just feel lukewarm towards the woman. The reason I haven't disclosed that previously is the vitriol she already faces. But now it feels necessary since my opinions on this (the ND part) will otherwise get misattributed to a parasocial relationship.

Nuance. Please, Lord, nuance.

This is the only screenshot I have of Gio allegedly berating Damiano over not visiting their cats. This is not berating. This is a statement of objective facts. Please google "Ad Hominem"

This screenshot does help me illustrate another important distinction, given that D+G were polyamorous for 3+ years. Since D+G had romantic partnerships with other people during the course of their relationship, Dami isn't Gio's only ex from that timespan. So when she talks about a former partner, she isn't necessarily referencing Dami. But in this case, context makes it clear exactly who's being discussed. That is what I need, posts with context that could reasonably only be about Dami.

But honestly, don't send me screenshots for #1. I've acknowledged you now go away. I'm not gonna have anything to say whether its nothing (see above) or if "berating" is an accurate descriptor. I can't quite articulate why, but it feels icky. If I'm commenting on this, its as a neurodivergent blogger, asked about a celebrity they happen to be familiar with. Its not as a Maneskin fan blog because Gio falls outside that scope. Like I've said before, Damiano David is a personality as well as just a person. So if she is sharing details, that'd likely be from the private part of his life not intended for our consumption. Therefore I'm not gonna consume it like a fan would.

#also every single ask but one (s/o 2 u boo! luv u!) have been rude AS HELL #be nice or I'll ignore you :)

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen,

I (14f) had a crush on this girl at the beginning of the school year and decided to befriend her because of that. Fast forwarding to the present, I only see her as a friend now but every one and a while romantic feelings resurface.

Both of us are Christian but she's the gays-will-go-to-hell type. We don't talk about religious stuff most of the time though. Overall, she's kind, genuine, and the person I'm closest to at school. I have other friends but I've known her the longest (since October).

Okay, now for my question! Should I tell her how I felt at the beginning of the year? I feel like I should because I'm probably going to another school next year and I want to be honest with her. If she gets angry with me, well, she will either not see me for 2 ½ months or never again. Also, I don't want to be wonder what she could've said.

Here's some more context, in case it might help

I lived with my mom in 8th grade, then moved in with my dad so that's why I went to this particular school. I had to move in with my mom in the middle of the year, so that's why I'm switching schools. (It's a long story)

Next week is our last week of school.

We have each other's contact information so I can talk to her over text

I'm bisexual but in the closet

If you can't answer this, could you please redirect me to someone/something that could? Thank you! Your blog is such a joy :)

I am so sorry I missed this and it is probably too late.

There is no reason to disclose how you felt since you don't really harbor those feelings anymore. Let the friendship stay in tact. It might upset her and there really isn't any good to come of telling her something she doesn't need to know.

Any fleeting feeling of romantic inclination you have of her will fade once you move away since you have said you feel more friend like feelings towards her.

You are both very young and at the whim of your parents for now. You are both in flux as you grow, change, get more experiences and meet more people.

Maintain a friendship with text, even letters or hanging out if you are near enough. When you are older and more independent and, if you still have a connection, you can explore deeper feelings if you discover they linger.

#youth #lesbian #love #friendship

[the-final-sif]

Hello! I recently came across your blog and love your take on things, mainly because they’re very level headed and thought out!

I was wondering, based on what we know, what do you think is going to happen with all of this? And if this has already been answered, you can just ignore this lol :)

Thank you! Trying my best to get a handle on things and help others do the same.

As for what I think is going to happen, there was an interesting discussion I had with @godzibane that I think covers a lot of what we could reasonably expect.

To summarize that post though, I think that the odds of Dream facing criminal charges are next to zero. Regardless of whether he's done anything Amanda said he did or not. Everything I've read says that Snapchat won't be able to retrieve any actual image/video files from Jan/feb at this point, and without those a charge/case is going to be next to impossible. So even if she was telling the truth, it would really only her word against Dream's, and that's not enough for a court case. Particularly not when her own credibility as a witness could be demolished by her behavior on twitter.

Now, if the allegations are false, Dream has one of the most straightforward defamation cases that I have ever seen. Like, to the point of comical. If she can't prove her case, she's defamed him. The more evidence Dream can provide that she's lying (snapchat metadata may serve him well here, depending on if they talked on there/what they discussed, he may be able to factually disprove her claims), the stronger his case gets. If Bee is telling the truth and is willing to help/testify under oath, then I'm really not sure how a good set of lawyers could fuck this case up. Like, this would be straight up two per se charges. He wouldn't even need to prove damages AFAIK.

Slander per se is defined as words that are slanderous in themselves without proof of actual damages. For example, if an utterance charges (a) the commission of a crime, (b) imputes some offensive or loathsome disease that would tend to deprive a person of society, (c) matters incompatible with business, trade, profession, or office, or (d) charges serious sexual misconduct. Restatement (Second) of Torts, Section 570 (1976).

Now, I think a lawsuit may end up getting filed here. Amanda did uh, well she doxxed herself. Which is. A really bad idea for all sorts of reasons. There's also at least one person that likely went to school with her (Bee) who would almost certainly be willing to disclose information about what school Amanda went to to lawyers to make contacting/serving her very easy.

If the allegations are false, a lawsuit also would be a way for Dream to add provable records to the public record where they become worth way more than "just trust me this is unaltered" so it'd be a good move both legally speaking and for PR.

I'm not convinced a case like this would go to trial. I mean, I do not know what sort of resources Amanda has. But lawyers are very expensive, and if Dream files in Florida instead of NJ which to my understanding would be possible, Amanda may then have to travel to Florida or hire a lawyer within Florida to defend her. If her claims are false, the sudden expenses may suddenly make holding onto those claims no longer worth it. In which case she would probably attempt to apologize/settle.

Now, to my understanding, while she could retract/apologize, Dream could still sue her if her claims are false. But I'm doubtful Dream would be interested in pursuing the case much further than getting an apology and some sort of settlement to send a message.

So, I think we will hopefully end up seeing some stuff from lawyers, although I'm hoping at least one of the involved parties mentions when things become a matter of public record, since it can be such a pain to track down court records w/o a docket number.

(also as a note I am not a lawyer, nor trained in anything to do with law, this is all from my personal understanding and could be incorrect in many different ways!)

#dream discourse #discourse #sif speaks #sif answers #anonymous

[mwolf0epsilon]

What is up with the star wars superhero au? I can't find anything about it in your blog.

I haven't actively discussed this one with anyone besides Rogue and Rey on Discord, so that's why you can't find anything on it.

At least nothing substantial. Because I have doodled Fox from the Superhero AU before, but that's about it in terms of showing that the AU exists in my brain.

The reason why I haven't really spoken of it is because it's been done and redone in my noggin time and time again, and the final refurbishing changed a few of the rules I was working with before that I still need to iron out. Mostly because I wanted something a little more unique than the usual the clones are clones/the clones are all Jango's biological sons, that comes with AUs like these (you know, ones that incorporate current modern aspects instead of the more fantastical nature of the standard SW sci-fi technology).

Either way I am willing to disclose the overall premise and rules of the SW TCW Superhero AU if anyone really wants to know more.

All you gotta do is ask.

#star wars #the clone wars #superhero au

[tacom-literatureu-blog]

no need to apologize you’re all good! TACOMLU is 100% yours and so are all its characters, you should feel free to do whatever you want with them <3

Thank you :]

This might be a bit personal for the blog, but I have moral OCD. It's becoming more and more of an issue to the point I either have to avoid certain topics, or can't be on tumblr at all due to other topics. When people started talking about the topic at hand, it immediately became hostile, and black and white, and triggering. I started to believe I was a truly awful person, that I was going to hell, etc.

Thankfully I have great friends and an amazing partner who were able to help, but it's obvious from yesterday's meltdown I wasn't having a good time.

I'm also an abuse survive. Not domestic, but I had an abusive mother. I understand how important supporting and believing victims are, and I admit, at first I didn't want to believe what was happening. My mother accused my dad of abuse multiple times, so I didn't want to believe what I thought were rumors.

But there's no denying what the evidence is.

A lot of creators are abandoning their works, switching Fandoms, etc. I completely understand and support that decision. But I can't do that. I've put too much time into these characters, and I want to see the story through. I NEED to see this through for reasons I'm not gonna disclose.

Some things will change, but we can worry about that later. Right now I just have to learn to b okay with myself for continuing a story. Because it's a story of characters. No one is profiting off of it, and there's disconnect. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Things have settled down now so I'm feeling okay enough to talk about it. Thank you again for all the support, and for loving this story as much as I do <3

Chambers and I will probably have more to say on certain things, but for now, I think I'm gonna enjoy my break. I'll keep yall in the loop, I promise- Patton

#tacomlu #tacomlu asks

[sysmedsaresexist]

Maybe its bad on my part but im native, trans, bi, afab and disabled... Ill never get an actual diagnosis just because of one of those but all 5? No way and tbh... I dont think it'll do me any good other than give me another hurdle when it comes to getting gender affirming care or adopting or even getting treated like an adult. Me and my system are ok and i dont experience distress from my system enough to think i need psychological help.

Idk if i can handle some white ass cishet abled doctor walking up and saying i dont have it and gaslighting me.

I hope this dosent conceded cause thats not my intention but even though im anti-endo, i get their distrust in the medical system and why diagnosis is something many wont persue. 1 because many of them know the doctor will diagnosis them correctly(as having trauma or having something different) and 2 because american doctors are not a safe place like... Ever. If your not a cishet abled white man.

So, a lot to cover here.

I'm white, afab, trans, bi, with multiple partners. I was diagnosed at about 21, and I've been in and out of therapy ever since. I'm also Canadian. Getting diagnosed was the best thing to ever happen for me, and I have several friends with the same experience.

And several who had bad experiences.

My experience will not be everyone's.

I am not pushing for anyone to get diagnosed. Doing so is a personal choice, and a decision that should be made by you, and your therapist if you have one. There are many reasons someone might get diagnosed (access to resources and specific care, financial support, etc) and just as many reasons someone might not want to get diagnosed. You also don't need a diagnosis to get the help you need.

What I DO want to people to hear is: whatever decision you make, do it with the REAL facts.

If you're going to choose not to get diagnosed, don't do it based on bullshit you see or hear on the internet. I made a post several months ago about someone going around saying that a diagnosis will stop you from getting housing, a job, and being able to buy alcohol, of all things, as if you have to present your mental papers to the cashier.

None of those are true. Gender affirming care also can be still be given and received, with an added step of a psychiatric evaluation (which is mandatory in Canada anyways for everyone, regardless of mental health, so if you think about it, you're not really losing anything). You can still adopt and have a family. You can own a home and have a job.

If you take anything away from my blog, it should be this:

Know your rights, and know how to exercise them

There are assholes everywhere, I'm not denying that. There are people who will bend rules and laws and who will use personal information (like diagnoses) against you. I'm not blaming anyone who has had this happen to them, either, as if they should have preemptively known better. No, that's not it at all.

Being aware that it happens, though, know that you have rights-- you're protected by employment, privacy, and human rights laws (yes, even in America, I debunk more American myths than Canadian). You do not need to disclose for work, except for positions in the military, certain healthcare positions, and when working with vulnerable sectors, and even in those cases, not always, and it can't affect their decision to hire you. You don't need to disclose for housing. You don't need to tell anyone anything, and you shouldn't, unless you need reasonable accommodations, and once they have that information, it can't be used against you. Don't let them. Easier said than done, I know, I've let things slide myself that, looking back, I wish I hadn't. Sometimes it's just easier, even if it's not right.

Point is, when in doubt, question everything. Do your own research, find your own answers, look for sources, question facts you see that aren't cited.

When you make decisions for yourself, be certain you're making it for the right reasons, and with the right information.

#syscourse

[bumblee-stumblee]

I just got sent your post by a friend. Through the rambling, I picked out a few things that confused me and made me realize why people push out TERFs.

1. Sexual attraction is based on the body, not chromosomes, so if a sexual partner is sexually attracted to the body presented to them and consents, what is the problem? Linked to this, why wouldn't sexual partners communicate about their wants and needs? You don't consent to gametes, that's just fucking weird.

2. Stop painting trans people as predators and groomers. That's recycled Don't Say Gay rhetoric and you know it. You're just feeding into the far right and giving them more ammunition against the LGBTQ community. Mermaids and others providing support to kids being kicked out by their families and gaslit by their doctors is a positive thing.

3. The lesbian community has driven off so many lesbians (biological females, to use your incel phrasing), because you're unwelcoming. 44% of lesbians have endured physical/sexual violence at he hands of an intimate partner (same-sex). I was abused by two female partners before meeting my now male partner who has been loving, kind and patient as I work through the trauma of being abused by those women, and I have never felt more valuable and loved for being me, not just because I have a vagina. Don't even get me started on your "gold star" lesbian rubbish. The power you ascribe to a male penis to "ruin" a woman while saying you think men are inferior is hilarious.

4. Kids aren't your property. They have the right to see their GP and access medical care without parental consent. They aren't stupid. They aren't brainless. By telling them they can't consent and don't know what they're talking about, you are alienating them from your cause and making them hate you more.

5. No one tells GNC people they are trans. That's not how being trans works. Sometimes a GNC person might want to shed pronouns or use different words, and that's fine. Why are you equating that with gender dysphoria? They're completely separate. Butch lesbians aren't vanishing, there are still plenty of them accessible to you.

6. People have the right to do with their bodies what they want. The most telling experience I ever had was with my lesbians friends: I told them I wanted a mastectomy, they made a massive deal out of it, because they felt entitled to my breasts and it was "ruining" my body (what the fuck? How does not having breasts ruin a body?). It was disgusting and invasive. I got a hysterectomy for comfort. Again, they made it into "denying my womanhood". Thanks for boiling my womanhood down to my womb, real progressive of you.

The biggest reason people hate radfems is because of their entitlement to other people's bodies and experiences. If you spent less time telling people how to behave and feel about themselves, and telling them they were brainwashed and you know The One True Way, you might stop driving people in the opposite direction. You're your own worst enemy and I am really glad I realised I'm bisexual, otherwise I would be voluntary celibate rather than go back to lesbian spaces. They are choked by toxic radfems.

1. Just like sex based oppression, same sex attraction is real. Transwomen will never be women. Transbians will never be lesbians.

I enjoy honesty in my relationships, i disclose anything important or anything that may be considered a deal breaker early on as to not string others along. Transpeople need to disclose that they are trans 1- to be safe and not get murdered by homophobic men and 2- so their partners can make an informed decision.

2. There are predators and groomers in your community tho. That's just factual.

Mermaids huh?

3. The Lesbian community has driven off lesbians? I never said there wasn't domestic violence within same-sex relationships? Um okay good for you? This is coming out of nowhere, are you sure you've got the right blog lmao

4.)Never said kids are my property, i said kids cannot give informed consent and lack the emotional and cognitive maturity to give consent. Kids that are suffering through gender disphoria to such a degree that they are claiming to be suicidal should not be able to consent to medical procedures while their mental health is obviously compromised.

Kids aren't stupid but they can be groomed and coached to say things that would not be beneficial to their well-being. Suck a lemon. I don't care if kids hate me.

5. Yes they are. Especially within younger groups, where this social contagion is more likely to be rampant. Especially within religious groups that see homosexuality as sinful and would rather transition their kid rather deal with their kid being gay. Why are you mentioning butch lesbians? Are you under the impression that GNC women would only be lesbians or something?

6. IDC what you do to your body if you're an adult. I only care when you try to convince children that they're born with the wrong body and need to take puberty blockers that makes me speak out against it. Y'all are teach kids to hate their bodies and you don't even see it.

Ah but calling women uterus havers and pregnant/bleeding people isn't reducing you down to your womb or genitals when it's done for the inclusion of transwomen i see i see. Coddle men and what not.

You don't know shit about radfems and i wish you'd stop pretending you do. I'm embarrassed for you.

#radblr #radfem #feminist #radfems #feminism #radfems please interact #trans #gender critical #transgender #radical feminist

[kaleidiope]

To add to my last post, (can ya tell this has been on my mind?) I had a friend who was younger than me by a few years get in a horrible situation with an adult they were talking with online. And I kinda blame myself for not reaching out more when we used to talk? Because, well, I am an adult! And I was an adult at the time of this. My friend, wasn't though, and I started staying away from them when I found out they were a minor. But, if I continued talking with them, maybe that horrid situation wouldn't have happened? I know I can't blame myself for the actions of a disgusting human-being, but I can take it as a lesson? Maybe? I made my 'Kaleidiope' accounts when I was a minor, and I was in fandoms with large 'teen/tween' fan-bases, and still am! I acknowledge fully - both then and now - that I have a responsibly to act and behave appropriately/accordingly in these circles (not that I ever would be inappropriate, I'm always so appalled when other adults don't take responsibly on these matters.) I've always hated the idea of needing to disclose personal info online. That it's become something normal. And often haven't due to wanting to set an example. But as I've gotten older, I grow more aware that being so ambiguous can bring discomfort. So I make this post with a purpose in mind: if me being a young adult bothers you for any reason at all (and you do not need to justify any reason as to why) you are free to unfollow me, block me, or whatever else you need to feel comfortable. I will always allow minors to interact with my blog and work, and will always try to give warnings accordingly for them. You can message me, talk about your interests, problems, whatever may be it! You're a person just like me after all! You deserve kindness. But know that I won't allow us to become close friends. You deserve friends in your own age-group for that.

#kal's log #I also hide personal info because I know someone IRL who uses this site and I want to hide from them #I am very scared of them finding me #Of finding this blog and my works #The thought makes me physically shake

[mara-xx217]

AN IMPORTANT REMINDER

Okay so this is now becoming a serious issue. If you are going to follow this blog, you MUST put your age in your bio.

You MUST be over the age of 18 (eighteen) to follow this blog. If you try to follow my blog and you either state you are not 18 or do not disclose your age, you WILL be blocked.

No discussion, no exception. 

If you are unsure as of why this is happening, why it has come up, or what the reasoning behind this is, I will go into it below the cut.

If you know anything about what I write, then you know that I write a lot of erotica/horror. I do not want minors to interact with me or any content for this reason. This is MY space where I can express myself however I wish or please to do so.

Minors being in this (my) space is unwelcome. They make me feel unsafe. It IS unsafe- for me, for them, and for my followers who are over the age of 18.

I REFUSE to alter what I do and how I write. This is not an "E for Everyone" environment. This is 18 and up space where we can discuss sex, violence, and all manner of uncomfortable topics without fear of judgement or the need to censor themselves because of the possibility that there are minors lurking around.

Having a 14 (FOURTEEN) year old try to follow me today was the last straw. I'm genuinely angry and I'm sick and tired of worrying about (and actually CATCHING) literal children trying to FOLLOW me for my 18 AND UP content.

Starting from this point on, I'm going to be even more proactive in combing through my followers and blocking anyone that

Does not have an age in their bio

Does have an age in their bio and claims to be under the age of 18

I don't care what the reasoning may be. No age = Blocked. Period.

No "It's none of your business".

No "I turn 18 in a few days".

No "It shouldn't matter what my age is".

No age? Blocked.

It isn't DOXXING to disclose this information. I don't care about who you are- your name, D.O.B., where you're from- I don't care I just want to know if you are of the right age to view my content. If you can't do that then get off my page and block me.

I don't want to hear the argument "Kids will find it anyway! What's the point in blocking them?" They may get into things they shouldn't, but that doesn't mean that *I* will contribute knowingly and willingly to that notion. That kind of thinking is dangerous and frankly it creeps me out.

I don't want kids looking at my shit.

No age = Blocked

Please put your ages in your bios.

All I ask is for you to spread this because I'm fucking sick and tired of seeing underage blogs following me and seeing people that claim to be adults (no age in bio) say that there is nothing wrong with having minors on 18+ Only Blogs.

It's fucking gross. Stop it. Seriously.

In conclusion:

NO AGE = BLOCKED

UNDERAGE = BLOCKED

Okay? Okay.

Please share this. I don't want to worry about fucking children invading adult spaces all the fucking time. It's getting tiresome fast.

@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine

#please read #general post #this is an 18 and up blog #minors do not interact #if you don't like it leave #tarhos kovács x reader #dbd #tarhos kovács #minors aren't welcome here #and if you are blocked by me #that's it #no take backs #that trust is gone forever #I can't believe I have to make this damn post in 2023 ffs #minors don't interact with 18+ blogs #it's unsafe for everyone when you do #stop it

[intersex-support]

hey! i am a transmasculine afab with pcos. also looking into other hormonal conditions. my hormones have always been out of wack. naturally high amount of testosterone.

i was wondering if this would be something i need to bring up if i plan on going on testosterone hrt, or if it's at all dangerous for me to do hrt? i feel like i saw a good ask+response in the past about this on your blog but i can't find it now

thank you for all of this helpful info though i love this blog!

Hey!

So I personally have never been on testosterone specifically, but I've heard a lot of stories from people who have and there can be so many different reactions to hormones, even for people who don;t already have hyperandrogenism.

I wouldn't worry too much, for the most part I've seen a lot of people say that T really helped balance their hormones and made them feel a lot more comfortable but also a lot more energized. T isn't going to be so dangerous that you can't just stop and try to figure out what will work better for you moving forward (IF there is any trouble, there's a good chance there won't be for a lot of us).

Some people say that it works VERY fast for them, and that sometimes it surprises their care providers. Sometimes hyperandrogenic people will even go on a lower dose at first, just to see what it is like and how their body reacts. A lot of people I've seen have said that a lower dose is actually really comfortable and works really well for them, so I would say it's a good idea for a start if you are feeling really nervous, and you can always up the dose. Physicians tend to lean more towards this for whatever reason.

Anyways, good luck! I hope that you're met with a lot of care and acceptance from whoever you work with. remember that this is your body and you can decide to do whatever you want and disclose only what you feel comfortable with.

#mod stev #pcos #hyperandrogenism #testosterone #ask to tag

[navybrat817]

Navy, dear, I know you like to hold quite a bit of your writing/what you’re working on close to the chest… but what are you most looking forward to working on in the near future? Are there any pieces that are going to be challenging your writer brain in a good way? Projects that are resurfacing that maybe you thought had lost some of their momentum? Anything fluffing your heart? Anything making you grin wickedly? Disclose as few or as many crumbs as you wish, I just wanted to ask more about YOU as the writer/architect of all these lovely stories you spoil us with!

-🫰🏻anon

Hello, nonnie! I hope your FriYAY is going well so far. I love these questions and I will answer them all below the cut. ❤️

What are you most looking forward to working on in the near future?

Revisiting the motocross boys. I was glad to share things for them this past December.

The possibility of college!Bucky.

I also want to do a MILF!reader at some point this year.

Are there any pieces that are going to be challenging your writer brain in a good way?

My way overdue challenge fics for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor and @sweeterthanthis for a couple of reasons! For Roo, it's going to be on the darker side and will either be a long one-shot or broken up into parts. The challenge is to keep my readers on edge and surprise them, even if some other stuff may come across as cliche.

For Lau, I have an ending in mind and over 2.4k of the story written, but I need to execute it so it isn't completely convoluted on top of some of the angst.

I see so many wonderful challenges and I've failed to keep up when I've signed up. My plan this year is to follow through should I decide to sign up for any or simply boost if I don't have the capacity so I don't let them down.

Projects that are resurfacing that maybe you thought had lost some of their momentum?

I don't know if I necessarily lost my momentum, but I have the next part of modern knight!Bucky written and plan to share soon.

Part of me wants to revisit our tattoo boys, but not sure how many would be intersted.

An issue I have is my excitement. That sounds funny, but I sometimes post an AU or idea almost right away, but I don't have a set schedule or timeframe in mind for the rest. I'm sure it's frustrating to some of my readers. I appreciate those who stick around.

Anything fluffing your heart?

Hottie and Sugar. I'm excited to share more of their journey.

And the next part of Librarian!Bucky.

Anything making you grin wickedly?

DBF!Bucky. Now that he has had a taste, he wants more. I realize that sounds dark, but he's just crazy about you.

Hottie and Sugar are also making me grin wickedly.

*****

I really appreciate these questions and it makes me happy to someone is interested in the nonsense that goes on behind my blog and stories. I can't wait to share more. Love and thanks! ❤️

#navybrat answers #writer ask #writer q and a #bucky barnes #steve rogers #future fics #dialed in: motocross au #howling commandos tattoo au #anon ask #🫰 anon #sending love ❤️ #asks are always appreciated #thank you for the support

[memes-saved-me]

I am sick and tired of antis assuming I am white based on my taste for fictional characters. I tried reasoning with one and was called a racist???? They even added "if you're not black dni" ... dude I am not going to reveal my identity and nationality to you wtf? I don't even want to know how he would have reacted if he knew I'm actually poc. I'll switch back to shutting the hell up, being anon and blocking them all. I tried. I really tried. It hurts it's condescending and racist on their part for invalidating my feelings like that. Sorry for writing to you but I love your blog and don't know who else to tell. What is going on in this fandom????

Feel free to use my ask box as a place to vent anytime! The wider Stranger Things online fandom is a weird one. Like really off at times and just wrong about so many things its insane. The Billy bubble is such a safe place for abuse victims that I forget how people think outside of it.

I don't have the energy to argue with antis. Block and move on is my tactic but damn they can really be dickheads. They assume every Billy fan is a straight white girl when the fandom differs from that entirely. This weird sort of need to disclose your entire person online is weird and dangerous! That anti seems more racist than Billy himself the way they went on and I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Poc Billy fans get so much shit for liking a character its ridiculous. People act as if people can't think for themselves and its condescending and offensive. Just because they feel a way about a character doesn't mean everyone else does and its saddening to see such a turn in fandom culture whereas years ago people were thirsting after every skinny villain white man they could find. Its exhausting but don't them those dickheads get you down! Block and go, scroll to something positive because they just want to make other people as sad and pathetic as they are.

#sorry they are so nasty