#i never watched batman

[frownyalfred]

I 100% believe Lois Lane requested the presence of Bruce Wayne in her delivery room.

Nobody, not even the League, understood until it was time to give birth and Clark froze up at her bedside. Bruce was there to coach them both through it, as Clark’s friend and as Lois’ human reinforcements.

(Bruce flew to Metropolis in a helicopter when he got the news. He found Clark ashen and trembling at Lois’ side, eyes clenched shut as she screamed. He slid into place like he’d never been missing, talking Lois AND Clark through it like he delivered babies every day of the week)

#rambling thoughts sorry #bruce wayne #batman #Clark kent #superman #Lois lane #clois #dc #dc comics #I just hc Clark can’t listen to Lois scream #or be in pain #because with him around she’s never in danger she doesn’t have to be #but this is another beast #he just has to sit there and watch it happen #Lois knows this #so she called Bruce #also she needed the satisfaction of breaking someone’s hand from squeezing #Bruce breaks his fingers every other patrol so this barely fazed him

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 112

Once again, you know who is underutilized in DCxDP crossovers? Battinson. Skrunkly shivering boi. Who we should definitely give children to care for. 

 Did you know that Jason canonically had a brother named Danny? Well you do now, and it should also be used more. 

 We all want to give Battinson a robin, so why not give him four for the price of two. He of course gets Dick from the circus- he’s never going to go into public again, this was the first time he’d gone to do something out of his comfort zone for a while and look how that turned out. 

 And on one of the nights that Dick has to stay home (Alfred insists he must finish his homework if he wants to go out on patrol) Bruce returns to the batmobile to find not one child, but two. Is Danny reincarnated? Just appeared one day? Who knows, but he’s here now and going to protect his little brother. 

 Bruce might have tears in his eyes when they both hit him in the kneecaps and bolt because even with the armor it still hurts. How he manages to grab both kids he’s not too sure, but he ends up getting them food after they put the tires back. He also doesn’t understand how he’s convinced them into the car but they’ve both conked out and maybe he’s panicking and needs Alfred- 

 D-Dick why is there another child here? He’s the neighbor, cool cool. W-what do you mean he’s home alone, he’s like, 4?? What do you mean he’s been alone for a week now???

…

Alfreeeeed-

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #battinson #Bruce is a skrunkly lil meow meow the kids feel bad about hitting #Danny felt bad the moment he got a taste of the dude's emotions #Selina returning to Gotham covered with cats clinging to her: #Bruce covered with several small children: #“I have a problem with strays” #Alfred is so tired #He comes back from getting groceries for dinner to three new children #all sprawled out on the couch with Dick and Bruce and a movie credits on in the background #they were watching Gray Ghost and eating shredded cheese #Dick a ten year old: Hi there tiny neighbor you are alone and that is bad so come with me please I have snacks #Tim a five year old who has never been taught stranger danger: omg sure Robin #Dick: What #Tim holding his hand: :) #Danny looking at Batman: He gonna cry :( #Jason: No he aint #Danny: You can feel the misery #Danny: It's like kicking a puppy :( #Jason: Shit u right #Both of them looking into the Batmobile now that the door is open: Why is there a box of coloring books and a kid carseat #Omg it's bat themed #There's also a blanket #Why yes it is for long patrols #Also random but I feel like Battinson would be aided by a longer cape #Let battinson become a batblob and disappear into a corner

[undertheredhood]

random civillain who just moved to gotham: *having a mental breakdown after they accidentally kill a clown with a bad dye-job*

the red hood (notorious crime lord and vigilante): "are you from tennessee? 'cause you're the only ten i see."

#batman #jason todd #jason peter todd #red hood #batfam #batfamily #i like to think that jason will immediately ask out whoever kills the joker #jason todd is bad at flirting #jason todd headcanon #the rest of the batfam are hysterically laughing in the background as they watch jason use terrible pick up lines #jason todd has no shame #jason was never the angry robin #tim is filming the entire thing as blackmail #not everyone can say they killed the joker and got a date with the red hood #jason doesn't know how to flirt so he uses pick up lines from the media he consumes which is mainly regency romance novels #jason todd x oc #jason todd x reader #red hood x oc #red hood x reader #bruce is just face-palming in the background #jason’s love interests are seething when they hear about it #jason’s love interests: what do you mean i had to avenge him if i wanted him to flirt with me?

[fakakta-art]

thinking about that one post . EDIT: part 2

#dc #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #dc comics #currently drawing the other parts. because i love this whole thing #full disclosure i've never even watched nailed it LOL #my art

[brucewaynehater101]

I'm bad at math, but is Bruce theoretically 38 years old when he goes into the time stream?

Hear me out (and canon likes to fluncate their ages, so this is my best guess without trying to account for birthdays):

Bruce becomes the legal guardian of 9 year old Dick when he's 23. That's a 14 year difference.

Jason becomes Robin when Dick leaves at 18. Jason is 13. That's a five year difference.

Jason dies at 15, and Tim becomes Robin at 13. That's a two year difference.

The age difference between Tim and Bruce would thus be 21 years.

Tim becomes Red Robin to find Bruce at 17.

That means that Bruce had to be 38, right? Why was I imagining him closer to 50?

Adopting so many kids must have aged him

#tim was 2-3 when he watched the graysons fall #jason would have been 17 when he attacked to at titan tower #this would make dick 24 when his dad dies and he has to take up the batman mantle he never wanted #UtRH is more tragic if you think about how jason wasnt even an adult #i do love the parallels of 23 year old bruce being a father to 9 year old dick and 24 year old dick being a father to 10 year old damian #also it's definitely the continued exposure to crime and violence that gave bruce his stress lines and grey hair (or jason dying) #this is all theoretical anyways because DC writes its own rules for how to math ages #dc universe #dc comics #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #the consequences of dc being vague on their ages is that means the characters speedrun all their trauma and can't breath through it #they are all so young

[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-P

#just wanted to draw thr boy robins to differentiate them to myself lol #looking back at my blog. my batman phase must have lasted a pretty long time and i never read the comics #i just watched the 60s movie and went insane for a few years lol. bc i like silly batman and insane bruce being Terrible hehe #batman #dc #bruce wayne #jason todd #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #damian wayne #richard grayson #tim drake

[gothamcity-official]

There are two Riddlers

There are two Riddlers facing off Batman, Robin, and Red Robin near City Hall. We're not sure where the second one came from but he looks like Bane if he was small, sopping wet, and wearing a sad trenchcoat. We can also tell which one is OUR Riddler because OUR Riddler hasn't killed anyone in almost a year and we're very proud of him. OTHER Riddler just shot at least three people.

Our Riddler is sitting off to the side with Red Robin and they seem to be playing puzzle games on Red Robin's tablet. Other Riddler is fighting Batman and Robin and seems surprised that Robin either exists or has a sword.

#because you know lets have some more BS today alongside the dogfight -Mod Samuel #only in gotham #only in gotham rp #onlyingotham #Batman #Robin #Red Robin #The Riddler #in character #op #dc #Batman series #Bruce Wayne #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #ed nygma #the second Riddler is stolen from the Batman movie #I never actually watched it though #he didn't seem right to me though. i don't like him.

[bonchobrick]

tw: slight suicidal actions (but not really the batfam are wildly clueless to the actual context to danny's bullshit hes not suicidal--in this fic--he's dead get it RIGHT brucie)

Au where Batfam are entirely convinced that the new vigilante in Gotham, danny, has time travel powers because he can vanish away from their senses completely

This becomes a problem however when 

Bruce searches for him because wants to save Jason. Danny can save Jason not in the--im a time traveler and i can bring him or you back from or to the past--but in the, I’m a ghost king and have domain over the dead haha

Batfam become really concerned watching Phantom fight because “if he has time travel powers why doesn’t he avoid getting hit every time he can” and get worried phantom is purposefully letting himself get hurt

Danny in all honesty is just vibin the entire time while the batfam is going crazy at every sliver of info they get about danny because like

okay hes a time traveler thats established they got over that

This guy whos somehow been able to stop and rehabilitate rouges (ghosts) in his town is 15??

he may be the kindest most self destructive kid they've ever met like who immediately agrees to help people who were trying to capture and interogate him because he 'thinks we are better than the last billionaire who did this' what the FUCK

Oh yeah and they find out as a bonus in the end that his normal unpowered form he is a teen with black hair and blue eyes (bruce no no dont do it dont--)

---

Bruce is losing his mind

Okay so at the start of this there’s an unknown vigilante (danny) that Batman tends to bump into. Except Batman isn’t sure what he is.

Every time they run into each other Batman can tell there should just be a person beside him but before he gets a glimpse and opens his eyes to empty fresh air.

A vigilante that can vanish before their very eyes?

What do the bats think about this?

They think this vigilante can control time and is doing that to sneak out of their gaze.

Now here’s where the funny part comes in

Bruce goes on a wild hunt to search for the vigilante with a plan. To make them turn back time so that he can save his son.

The problem with this?

Danny is not a time traveler most days–scratch that he's not one at all. He can save his son Jason though, in fact he wants to, it’s just he needs to figure out a way to do this whilst not blowing his cover that he is the goddamn ghost king.

So he pretends that he does have time powers and that he just… uh… needs a minute to figure them out… yeah that!

Cue Batfam getting progressively more worried about Danny because ‘if he could turn back time—why doesn’t he avoid those hits?’

They all kinda think Danny is like purposefully hurting himself so now Danny is forced to eat breakfast with them and sleep at their manor.  I mean he’s confused at why they always look so worried about something but he’ll make sure Batman’s son gets home soon! Plus the rich people temporary-living-situation without all the ‘I want to adopt you’ billionaire bullshit is pretty sweet!!

(somewhere in the ghost zone jason is tearing up laughing at the batfam as they struggle to not burst into flames trying to figure out danny-- like for christs sake they think the ghost king is an american doctor who and are trying to get him to spill where his tardis is)

#dc x dp #dp x dc #fanfiction #danny phantom #batfam #danny fenton #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #Batfam trying to be relatable to a time traveler: so... 1990 was sooo cool right? #danny sweatdropping having never passed basic history on his own w/o cheating since elementary: yea i loved seeing real life dinosaurs haha #dick born in 1990: what #mans never passed world history #dick is so sad #everyone keeps calling him a dinosaur now and its really getting to him #tim pointing at dick: this 24 year old is a FOSSIL #dick crying: leave me ALONE im still YOUNg and BEAUTIFUL #danny: i think I caused a new episode of family fights #batfam watching danny slam down from five stories of concrete worried as hell #danny casually getting up: whats up guys! whos ready to partay!! #batfam: haha... *silently dials hotline* ...mee #its been a bit since I last posted one of these so its not my best :( #Ill be sure to edit some good ones soon so yall can read :)) #ohkay gn lovelies ^^ #oh my god its only 12 nevermind i lied hey guys have a good afternoon #batfamily #danny is a little shit #batfam are so confused

[iamnotthere-idonotdie]

THE BATMAN

released march 4, 2022

director: matt reeves

cinematographer: greig fraser

composer: michael giacchino

starring: robert pattinson, paul dano, zoë kravitz, andy serkis, jeffrey wright, colin farrell

run time: 2h 56m

#happy two years of the batman #this film has aged like fine wine #i will never get tired of watching it #pictures from pinterest #the batman #the batman 2022 #the batman (2022) #battinson #dc #matt reeves #batman #bruce wayne #robert pattinson #the riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #zoe kravitz #catwoman #selina kyle #alfred pennyworth #andy serkis #colin farrell #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #jeffrey wright #jim gordon #michael giacchino #greig fraser #cinematography #movie

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

Beast Wars Depth Charge

#beast wars #depth charge #poll #maccadam #transformers #smash or pass #not quite batman not quite aquaman #this asshole #once again a reason bw s3 shouldve been less rushed #hes very cringefail i think he shouldve had more screen time #he and rampage almost felt like an afterthought and thats a shame bc they couldve had a compelling mutual hatred #that said it kind of did feel like they were trying to replace dinobot with a different asshole w a heart of gold character #so watching the show the first time i had a huge grudge against him #bc he will NEVER be dinobot

[zecoritheweirdone]

so i saw this old-ish post about an au centering around a villain lewis and a hero arthur,,, and i. may have gotten attached to it,, dkdndkdjs. so i decided to make some edits + doodles based on it!! i also really wanna make a lil oneshot about it as well,, but uh... whether or not i actually follow through on that, we'll see,, skdjsojdks.

#my art #mystery skulls animated #lewis pepper #msa lewis #arthur kingsmen #msa arthur #really happy with how their designs came out !!! #it was a bit of a struggle to make lewis not just look like how he is in canon but with a cape;; #but i think the patterns + sugar skull makeup help a lot! #imagining lewis has the power to just turn into a ghost form;; which he uses for villain stuff. think danny phantom #(<- has never watched danny phantom) #and arthur's just kinda like batman; makes his own gadgets and stuff! i imagine his metal arm also has some fun doodads in it #still debating on why exactly arthur is so beat up in the potential fic; so far i'm thinking maybeeee reverb? #or maybe just some unknown new villain guy #and yes i know there's additions in the post i linked where everyone agrees it was actually mystery #not even murder mystery just. mystery. #i am politely ignoring that. bc i don't like that. #mystery is just vivi's not-dog in my version of this au. #'vivi please don't try and break into a dangerous supervillain's lair to try and rescue some hero' he says to her #meanwhile vivi's already halfway there #being vivi's dog is a full-time job

[sandwitching]

seeing the canon "straight couple" and it's literally a girl who's probably a lesbian and the only guy she's ever found attractive

#flamian #daminika #jasiper #ive never watched it but is this petrigrof #I literally love flamian tho <3 like let them be GFS #I didn't even like jasiper when they were 'dating' #they are friends tho #flatline dc #damian wayne #batman #pjo #hoo #jason grace #piper mclean #nika dc #pjo hoo toa #shel pjo #is their ship name shelper

[starleska]

the entire DC Universe is too much for me please stop sending more fantastic iterations of silly stupid villains to fall in love with, i can't breathe 🙈🙈🙈

#this is a joke. please never stop i need to get my serotonin from somewhere #why yes i did just watch Music Meister's debut ep in Brave and the Bold for the first time why do you ask 😳 #batman #mad mod #mad hatter #music meister #joker #riddler #penguin #neil richards #jervis tetch #darius chapel #edward nygma #oswald cobblepot #the mad hatter #the music meister #the joker #the riddler #the penguin #dc #dcu #dcau #dc animated universe #starleskatalks

[undertheredhood]

jason accidentally trauma-dumps to this masked vigilante who he’s somehow immediately comfortable trusting while willis todd who is not dead and is very much still alive (but still hasn’t told his only living child yet) is internally screaming “WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY?!?!?!?”

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #batman #red hood #jason todd #jason peter todd #jason was never the angry robin #wingman #willis todd #nah because why does dc make poor people be completely awful people? #look if willis todd was awful why does jason love him so much? #good parent willis todd #jason is different from the rest of the bats because unlike them he grieved his parents (especially his mom) long before they died #jason probably found out that willis was presumed dead long after it happened (because he was living on the streets for quite some time) #anyways willis is listening to jason nonchalantly speak about his trauma and is resisting the urge to beat bruce up #willis while carrying a 220 lb crime lord and sobbing: my precious baby what have they done to you? #danny todd (jason’s canonical older brother) is watching beyond the grave wondering why willis won’t tell jason who he is #jason starts talking about willis and willis is trying his hardest not to cry because he thought jason would hate him but it’s the opposite #like jason has so much love in his heart and honestly i wish someone would actually appreciate that

[martyrbat]

batman: the abduction

hes sooo autistic 11 year old weird girl on the family computer coded....

#next hes gonna talk about mermaids existing and use mockumentaries that air on animal planet/discovery channel to prove his case #calling literal aquaman who can tell him they exist? never occurs to him even once #watching 2011's mermaids the body found? hes gonna go ‘omg why is nobody talking about this...’ #this caption is a specific niche but i know it fits me and several of my formally autistic weird girls now autistic weird trannies mutuals. #c: batman: the abduction #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #alfred & bruce #(id in alt!)

[littlemushroomwreath]

What is top-tier relationship dynamic and why is it criminal/evil crime doer x the detective who's on their case

#hannibal #shuake #akeshu #sherliam #joker x batman #they just??? hit different??? #the whole battle of the wits thing too #i was watching moriarty the patriot and started thinking #saiouma #ive never watched or played danganronpa but from what i know it fits #this trope solos tbh #snowbaz