#i rambled so much please forgive me!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

merakiui · 11 days

Note

read the beach thoughts with step-bro leech twins and i have so many thoughts,,, i love summer w my whole heart

not into stepcest but i’m imaging just regular old jade leech and beach sex. i feel dude has got to love outdoor sex, the feeling of earth underneath him and residue of sand or dirt on various body parts. found this image and just thinking thoughts

sooo on-the-nose swimsuit but hear me out

like him taking the reader in those grimy beach bathroom stalls, not bothering to take off the swimsuit, just pulling it aside bc he’s so greedy and insatiable, maybe sex on the beach, the sound of crashing waves such a pretty background music while fucking against the rock wall at night

anyway lmao bye

:O !!!!!! such a pretty swimsuit omg....... but you're so right. Jade loves outdoor sex on all terrains!!! Getting nasty in the dirt and sand... it doesn't even matter to him; he just loves being so close to the earth, pressed against his beloved, sweat and other fluids mixing with sand and dirt,,, leaving the imprint of your bodies in the soft soil. Omg the idea of Jade fucking you against wet earth after it's just rained and you smell like sex and rain!!!!!! Or finding a secluded strip of beach that's far from prying eyes just so you can fuck each other into the sand...... in my heart, there is nothing more romantic to Jade Leech than being wrapped up in two things he loves: you and nature. <3

Digression aside, the grimy beach bathrooms......... 👁 👁 clothed sex,,,, just moving it aside because he can't be bothered to undress the two of you completely (he's impatient and too horny; the swimsuit works miracles)!!!!!! That's so yummy AAAAAAAAA. Holding you up against the wall, your legs wrapped around his waist. And it's probably so humid in there, and you're already so sticky from the heat. Now you can be sticky in other ways. :D

Maybe it's my own delusion, but I think Jade would be interested in sailing....... Floyd doesn't understand the appeal at first because (in his words): "why would I wanna be on the waves in some boat when I could just swim and be faster than them in the water??????" But Jade thinks boats are a lovely thing, and he wants to try it at least once. Hehe Jade renting a cruiser boat for a short getaway, and the two of you spend the weekend being out at sea. Feeling the waves rock the boat while you're cuddling in the cabin... or lounging on the deck,,, jumping off the boat to swim. Jade going between human form and mer form, hunting fish for tonight's dinner while you cheer him on from the boat....... this is just me shamelessly rambling about a silly sailing fic I want to write with Jade, but the Vision is there!!! T^T

In any case, I adore the idea of Jade and beach sex. It's so very true!!!! He would love to fuck you in all manner of ways and rhythms with a pretty seascape as the background and rolling waves as the ambience........ I love him a very unhealthy amount.

#twisted chit chat #n/sfw #rel124c41 #i rambled so much please forgive me!!!!#i also love summer so dearly and adding jade to that makes it even better hehe

197 notes · View notes

kyouka-supremacy · 8 days

Text

Hi. I've calmed down a bit, and I think it's better if I just take a break from Tumblr for a while. Right now, I don't feel the fandom to be the same chill and safe space as I felt it to be, so I'd rather take some time until I can feel comfortable again with posting. All my side blogs will be on hiatus too. I'm terribly sorry for any discomfort this may cause.

A deep, wholehearted thank you to anyone who reached out in the last hours in replies, asks and dms to share their support and love. Seriously, you can't imagine how much it meant to me, how meaningful every single message I got was to me. Yesterday I was really believing my blog didn't bring anything but negativity and hatred to the community; thank you for reaching out to tell me I was able to share a little happiness, too. Words cannot express how indebted I am to you; you made me feel again like the posting I made on my blog was worth it, for you alone.

I don't think I'll deactivate for the time being. The temptation is still very strong, but I've poured so much time and dedication and love on this blog, I don't think it'd be fair to delete it. I hope in the future there'll still be people who my posts can make happy.

Lastly, I want to apologize once again to the people for whom my posts evoked so many negative sentiments. I know it's impossible to avoid, but I'm still sorry that happened. I apologize to you.

Please, be kind to each other. Make some ss/kk posts on my behalf while I'm away :)

#I'm sad because in one year and four whole months I never skipped a day on aktgw-daily. And it was only 12 days till the 1000th Akutagawa.#I've been thinking about what to do to celebrate for forever.#And I'm sorry I won't be rewatching da with everyone. I was really looking forward to it so so much.#Worst of all the fifth guidebook came in the mail today. I was so excited to share it with everyone #But hey maybe now I'll be able to take some time to finally comment the fics I've been meaning to for so long :')#Hopefully I'll be back soon! Wait for me please. Think of Akutagawa for me #random rambles #And finally sorry for not being able to handle this more maturely. Please forgive me

54 notes · View notes

chorus-the-mutate · 8 months

Text

This is an edited repost of the Erzsebet Bathory character analysis I wrote yesterday that I refuse to let go to waste. I tried doing the right thing and tagging all of the necessary trigger warnings only for this post to be completely hidden from the Castlevania Nocturne and Erzsebet Bathory tags. Since I can't afford to tag the proper trigger warnings without being punished please do not read this post if discussions of rape or sexual assault triggers or upsets you in any way. I don't take these topics lightly and they are vital to this analysis of Erzsebet Bathory.

This post also contains major spoilers for this first season of Castlevania Nocturne.

This may seem presumptive of me to say but this thought has been stuck in my head for several hours: Erzsebet Bathory is the most rapist adjacent villainess I've ever seen without her actually being a rapist.

The first and smallest point against her is how often she mentions virgins. I know that Erzsebet's initial mention of virgin sacrifices is supposed to tie into the origin of her alter ego and consumption of Sekhmet but it's super fucking weird that it played into why she wanted to sacrifice Maria.

Next point against her is the lawyer's daughter. I'm not sure if this lady was a virgin but when she's first brought to Erzsebet she's already terrified and too dazed to fight back. It's obvious that she doesn't want to be there and that even if she did that she can't really express that desire. But Erzsebet still takes this lady out of a literal gilded cage, sits down and sits this lady on her dress to admire her despair before drinking her blood. The next time we see the lady she's still dazed. The only differences are that she's dolled up and seems more suggestible. Even with hundreds of people in this ballroom scene the lady is literally ignored by everyone except for Erzsebet who dances with her and parades her around for her own amusement. Everyone else knows that Erzsebet likes to make her victims suffer and they still refuse to acknowledge the lady because Erzsebet has made it clear that she's her possession. Hell the only person who is unhappy enough with Erzsebet to go rogue at this point is Olrox and he STILL IGNORES THIS LADY. When the lady is dragged outside to be fed on again without anyone batting an eye it reminds me of a rapist roofying their target and proceeding to do everything in their power to seem interested in their victim's well-being in order to take them to a second location. And no one speaks up since Erzsebet is the Harvey Weinstein, Prince Andrew or Thomas Jefferson of the vampire world; the embodiment of people in power getting away with abuse until the damage has already been done.

The last and biggest point against Erzsebet is the entire scene where she turns Tera into a vampire. For me personally that is just an allegorical rape scene and it's executed very well. Erzsebet makes her entrance at the abbey as a lioness of a woman, a literal predator who wants to take Maria as a sacrifice and turn her into a vampire to ensure Emmanuel the Abbot's loyalty. Tera protests and offers herself to Erzsebet instead. This is such blatant coercion that Tera refers to herself as the ram Abraham sacrificed to God instead of Isaac. And the only question or concern Erzsebet has at this point is if her sacrifice should be a virgin. The only reasons she accepts the sacrifice are Emmanuel's genuine love for Tera and the fact that Tera is a powerful sorceress. Once Erzsebet settles for Tera and physically lifts her to her level no one can stop her. Maria gets knocked out for trying and Richter gets bodied immediately after. Their only option is to get the hell out of there once Annette makes an opening and Richter rightfully runs for his life. Even Maria, the only person that could look back and see Tera turn, is knocked out and that feels like an intentional writing choice to give Tera one last shred of dignity. Erzsebet holds Tera really close in this sort of hug as she feeds on her and once she's fed she literally sits Tera on her lap for her turn to feed. Then Erzsebet cuts herself and the blood starts dripping down on Tera, starting at her skirt, going to her blouse and reaching her face. At first Tera doesn't react but then her body responds to the blood and she feeds even though she doesn't want to. Even though no one wants this for her. And that is exactly what it's like when someone has an unwanted orgasm. Tera's body is protecting itself the same way a victim of assault would and that paired with the blood on her skirt being reminiscent of the blood on a woman's thigh in the aftermath of an assault hammers home the rape allegory. It's very sad and uncomfortable to think of Tera's turn to vampirism this way but the thought lingers hours after like a grimy film on my brain.

I 100,000% believe that Erzsebet would have been an actual rapist if Netflix Castlevania didn't romanticize Lenore raping Hector and ending their relationship on friendly terms. Not to mention Sumi and Taka's sudden shift from allies to sexually assaulting Alucard out of spite. Castlevania Nocturne seems to shy away from rape and sexual assault in favor of allegories or moments so brief that I missed them unlike its predecessor. So I'm blaming the gratuitous depictions of sexual assault in Castlevania on Warren Ellis, the creator of Netflix Castlevania, who doesn't work on this show for a very good reason.

Everything from her size as Sekhmet to her tendency to torture women and girls before killing them contributes to the allegory of Erzsebet being the vampire equivalent of a rapist. She exudes power and not only does she enjoy making others feel helpless she's also great at it. She is a sadist without honor, willing to parade her lady victim of choice around vampire high society or hang a young girl on hooks to drain dry rather than let any of them die a quick death. The dragged out, needless suffering Erzsebet inflicts along with her preference for women and virgins frames her feeding as something more sexual in nature than the other vampire nobles who simply indulge in their gluttony. Even Olrox feeding on his former boyfriend isn't framed sexually, it's framed as a desperate, romantic gesture to keep his lover alive. And every vampire I remember from Castlevania has their feeding framed as a tool for political power or sheer, simple gluttony. Even the vampire general Cho was shown to be more of a tyrant or a general sadist clinging to power in Japan than a deviant.

Erzsebet's sheer sadism actually contrasts quite well with Dracula's humanity and restraint. He understood humanity, only feeding to survive or strike down the merchants who slighted him. (He probably also used feeding as a tool for political power but I don't think we saw that directly.) Dracula ultimately came to understand humanity so well that he fell for Lisa Tepes, the exemplar of what it means to be human. And that love is why I believe he respected Lisa's wishes and let her keep that humanity instead of turning her into a vampire. And after Lisa's death Dracula stopped feeding entirely, hoping to extinguish his life and take out as many people as he could because he believed that humanity should've been better. He believed that the people who lived alongside Lisa would've stood up for her and they betrayed her out of a mix of fear, religious reverence and apathy. Meanwhile Erzsebet doesn't care about humanity, seeing people like the lawyer's daughter as possessions or people like Tera and Emmanuel the Abbot as pawns to further her own rule. She might be taken aback by Drolta's death once she learns of it but there's an equal chance that she wouldn't even bat an eye.

So what do these points of analysis mean for Erzsebet and Tera's future dynamic as master and pawn? The one thing that's certain is that Tera has been fundamentally changed, forced into an unprecedented nightmare scenario that will drag her down a dark path. But I'm an optimist and I believe that Tera will ultimately be redeemed. She may never be human again but her humanity, her love for her son and daughter will save her soul. Ultimately I hope that Tera lives and recovers from the trauma of Erzsebet turning her. I hope that she goes home to her children and is taken in with open arms. But if Tera dies she will die as Tera, not as a pawn, and that is because Erzsebet could never kill her humanity.

#castlevania nocturne #castlevania nocturne spoilers #please heed the preamble #this post still discusses dark subject matters so I want you guys to be careful #erzsebet bathory #tera #tera renard #tera castlevania #dracula vlad tepes #anti lenore #sumi castlevania #taka castlevania #I really want to know what you guys think #and please forgive me if I've read way too much into Erzsebet #I just can't stop thinking about her lack of regard for most anyone #this could contribute to the colonization allegory with Erzsebet but I don't have the background or education to contribute to that talk #long post #ash rambles

107 notes · View notes

seariii · 8 months

Text

My take on Kotoko as a morally gray person, about a morally gray character who thinks in black and white

first of all, i absolutely love this woman, so all of this comes from a kotoko enjoyer, but when talking about canon i can not turn the blind eye to the wrongs she has done. i will talk about my perception of her murder, of her as a character and about her beating up the guilty prisoners (i will put this emoji 🐺 when i jump subjects just to keep it organized)

this next phrase is my personal take, i know some will disagree with me and thats okay, which also works as a tl;dr:

Kotoko didnt do anything wrong outside the prison, but she did wrong inside of it

i know beating up people isnt actually good, but she did research upon research to get to the bottom of the cases she was investigating and found the culprits this way. "but she could've brought them upon justice" and you arent wrong about that, but the victim she actually murdered, even when his identity was revealed to the public, the law didnt bring justice upon him.

screenshots & translations from @/maristelina (i didnt put everything in here, if you wanna check all the articles, please go check on their post!)

her victim was a child murderer, he had already killed 10 girls in 2 years, but even then, he was still free because of his father’s position of power.

then we have her other victim, the man she beat up and sent to the hospital

there are a couple articles dedicated to this one. but a quick run down: the man, Mikio Oshii, was wanted for theft and assault, having tricked at least 2 or 3 elderly people, pretending to be a bank employee, and convincing them to hand over cash, he pushed one of his victims, fracturing her ankle.

then we have the article about Kotoko’s assault. again a quick run down: someone heard screaming and found a man lying on the ground, who had lost consciousness after being beaten up, and was taken to the hospital. the police suspects a man (kotoko was wearing men’s sneakers and covering herself up). the victim was wanted for theft and assault charges and was Mikio Oshii.

further proving that she was aiming at people who prayed on the weak, she had good intentions (at least at first), and we also have the facts that she was trying to go through the lawful(?) path at first

she was studying law, showing us that she genuinely believed her cause, bringing justice to the world and protecting the innocent, or “weaklings” as she calls them, more on that later. that she was gonna try and go for the morally correct route, but what changed? what is that thing she “wants to do”? i hope we get to see her reasoning on the next trial. for now i agree with the theory that says that her or her family was victim of someone like the guy that was above law for having money and a father with a position of power. showing her the flaws of the law/justice system and thus taking matters into her own hands.

🐺 i personally believe that there are some people who dont deserve second chances, like pedos and rapists, and like the man kotoko murdered, between others. so this is why i forgive her from her crimes. she did proper research, she is passionate about it, she wants to protect the weak, or thats what she tries to convince herself of, because this brings me to my next point

she does have those violent tendencies, and she enjoys them

“this feels so good”

this is from the t1 trailer, people suspect this were phrases they said after their murders. so i think there is a possibility that while she was trying to convince herself that her actions were for justice, to try and protect the weak, and i dont doubt that that was where it came from at first, she ended up doing it out of personal enjoyment.

i once read that “if you do a good deed because you want to do it, it means that you arent a good person. to be a good person you need to do good deeds without wanting something in return” meaning that you should be uninterested on even the satisfaccion of said deed. this is a phrase that i absolutely hate and dont agree with, but i think it applies in here. kotoko was trying to do something “good” (morality is on the bearer’s eyes) by bringing to justice people who kept escaping it, by taking revenge for those weaklings she so desperately wants to protect, and while thats her main motivation, she also does it because she wants to.

i believe my girl has a thirst for power. she is self righteous, the way she refers to the people she wants to protect as “weaklings” its like shes putting them down in some way, the way on her VD she just wants to keep rambling about her theories, the way she inserted herself on Mikoto’s interrogation, the way she just assumes Es’ intentions and doesnt seem to accept when they call her out on it. she doesnt listen to others at all and once her mind is set on something, there is nothing that can move her from there. she isnt a good person…. but also, she isnt a bad person, and i feel that the fandom forgets those two statements can coexist. even if she sees herself as a saint, and firmly believes that she did nothing wrong, thats because

🐺 her world view is black and white. and this is why while i condone her actions on her murder, i do not condone her actions of beating up the guilty prisoners.

a lot of the prisoners have a black and white morality, heck, milgram itself as a system IS black and white. and from what i’ve read, a lot of the fandom also thinks in black and white. all of which i find extremely… interesting…. tbf its the nd majority vote game about nd murderers on the nd website, so makes sense (im half joking, sorry)

kotoko attacked the guilty prisoners because thats what she had been doing, and thats what she got voted innocent for on t1 (i wasnt around). but no one told her to do that, she acted on her own, she misinterpreted her judgment and forced her opinions and methods on others, claiming it were Es’, without their knowledge and without ours.

as a side note, when i first got into the fandom, i found surprising to see that kotoko was inno and fuuta was guilty on t1, since from my perspective their crimes are basically the same, they both exposed and harrowed “bad” people.

i make a lot of emphasis on black and white thinking, since its something im familiarized with, for example lets talk Amane since its her trial is still going

she is the type of girl who will correct other’s mistakes, who will call them out and try to fix them so that the others can be right, like her. her truth is absolute and even when it flails, she stands her ground and proceeds to believe in herself and her views of the world. in what i said, you could re read that and it would also apply to kotoko, and just like her, Amane also convinced herself of doing something she wanted to do by telling herself it was the right thing to do. kotoko’s “protecting the weaklings” directly translates to amane’s “punishing her mother for her sins (hurting the cat)”. so while in both cases there were hidden feelings, something tells me neither of the girls knew about their own ulterior motives, thats how well they convinced themselves.

people who think in black and white just see it as it is, right or wrong, left or right, green or blue, there is no other choice but those two. and from my personal experiences with myself and with others, its something you end up applying in almost every aspect of your life and its really difficult to change up this way of thinking. beginning to see the grays of the world and its other options its not an easy task without some proper help

overall, i dont believe she was right for hurting the guilty prisoners, and fuuta losing his eye because of her gives me a horrible gut feeling. overall, it also ties on her need for power, since she firmly believes shes Es’ “fang”, thus reducing herself a weapon for justice, not implementing her own judgment anymore, but someone else’s, ours, which my problem with her actions in this scenario. i firmly believe that if outside the prison she had came across mahiru or fuuta, she wouldn’t have attacked them, but after her t1 inno, and getting her ideals supported, her beliefs became radical, and now shes going based on our ideals, our judgments, our right or wrong, our black and white morality, MILGRAM’s black and white morality.

🐺 im still a kotoko inno truther, and i love her, shes my favorite character. but i dont expect her to get innocent this trial, as she did wrong. i dont want to say it was our fault that she harmed the other prisoners, since we had no way of knowing this would happen. in retrospect we can say whatever we want, but none of us can read the future.

i dont even have a real argument on why you should vote her innocent “shes pretty” is not good enough lmao… but who knows, maybe we will see something that makes her worthy of an inno vote on her second trial a few months from now (not counting on it, probably wont be enough)

in the end i wrote this because im really passionate about this character and her black and white views on the world (shes so intense). and because this beautiful person @archivalofsins told me to "keep talking about kotoko" and i have zero self control regarding this fictional woman.

🐺 i believe with the help of a third party, someone who could act as a moral compass to her and could teach her that the world has more colors, more choices, and if she actually learns about this, she would end up being an amazing thing.

also, if the theory about her being an accomplice of the serial killer turns out to be true, i will puke and cry :)

#please forgive me for i am not good at character analysis and i was just rambling about my fictional wife #also never give me an open floor to talk about my hyperfixations someone needs to put limits and its not gonna be myself #im sorry if this isnt comprehensible its almost 4am as im typing this and i always talk so much i get distracted and forget what i was #saying but i tried my very best to try to organize my ideas in a way that others could maybe understand!!#im also sorry if there is something wrong with the spelling or the way i said something english isnt my first language #milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #milgram analysis #long post #also not her parallels with amane making me a little more fond of the little girl #about the moral compass its me ill be her moral compass i dont trust other people to give proper judgment #or maybe it could be a small group project but just a small one because i dont work well in large groups #wife <3 #seari writes

45 notes · View notes

spiritsglade · 1 year

Photo

@otomerson hi quick apologies bc. 1. i can’t draw people 2. this is extremely rushed because i read endless dreaming on a thursday night in one sitting adn missed my alarm and was nearly late to class and i’m still not over that so. i had the vision of sunny waking up to all his friends collapsed over the floor and i needed to share.

endless dreaming is a post good end omori fanfic that i cannot recommend enough i’ve known it for less than 48 hours it has made me feel emotions i canont comprehend

#omori #i have no idea how to tag this sorry #read endless dreaming it's making me insane #unless you haven't played omori in which case please pplay it i need people to experience this video game #revek's art #i don't think sunny has his eyepatch in this one but ah well #i know the other bed is like really far away in the canon layout of the room but maybe they shoved it over here idk. i'm trying my best #i know i am rambling so much please forgive me #endless dreaming #i also realize kel and basil have ponytails whoops

218 notes · View notes

zickmonkey · 6 days

Text

WIP of my The Warm Hands of Ghost fic

(This might be all of it on account of I lost the ability to write again so posting just in case- Spoilers, happens years after the book, proceed under the cut :))

Despite the things Penelope Shaw had done, the choices she'd made, Laura still named her first born daughter after her, six years after she had lost Pim. Her son, who came four years later, she'd named after her brother.

It was them, 15 year old Pim Jones and 11 year old Freddie Jones, that Laura thought of when the news of the war broke.

Or, more specifically, the word of Canada joining the war.

Freddie, thankfully, was way too young to join the effort. He still had a boyish face, his voice hadn't dropped, even if he tried to enlist they'd never let him.

Pim was closer to the right age, but still she was off. And in the last war nurses had to be at least 21, not the 18 of men, and had to be formally trained as a nurse.

Laura herself was free of the war too, when nurses couldn't be older than 39, and she was past that.

The only one left to worry over was her husband. Stephen. She thought there might be a chance he'd stay, now that he'd built so much at home.

He was the one who'd wanted children- the one who suggested they start trying. He prayed for a son throughout the entire pregnancy, and when Pim was born she became his entire world, even when she wasn't the son he'd wanted.

And then he got a son, one Laura took charge on naming, just as she had with Pim. She'd told him that he could name the next one, but the next one never came, and Stephen told her that two was all he'd ever need. That his family was perfect, that nothing mattered more.

He'd proved that just she was enough, when he showed up on her doorstep immediately after the war had ended. When he’d stayed, long after. Making the large move from America to Halifax for her, because he knew that even if he’d already moved to a different part of the province she’d never leave her brother.

She wondered what her brother and Winter thought of the news, but it fell second in her mind to the wonder of what her husband thought.

And the wonder of if her husband still thought he had a duty to do even after so much service already, and after so much left to do at home.

6 notes · View notes

chronicparagon · 1 month

Text

[I hesitated in saying anything but if there is ever a chance that Boothill would want Harmony as his wife, she would accept in a heartbeat. Same if it was Aventurine.]

#ooc #spam #a girl can dream #she fell for them hard #and my dear friend introduced me to Sunday a few days ago #and ngl #Harmony would be crushing on him too #everyone is so so pretty in hsr #and their backstories and how much was put into their development are welcome pluses #same goes for Genshin Impact but I need to learn more about it #please forgive me for rambling #don’t know if this counts as musing or headcanon kind of thing #and I’m sure this will change as I see more characters

7 notes · View notes

mjtheartist04 · 4 months

Note

MJ im actually so sorry about the unfollow thing, I swear I felt my soul leave my body when I saw that. 😭 I know seeing that someone stopped following you really hurts and I feel so guilty for how long it stayed like that and you were nervous as to why or what could have happened.

I love you so much and I truly mean that. I don't want you to feel sad or afraid you did anything wrong. 🩷🩷🩷

Cherri you’re too damn sweet for this world😭…

BABY GIRL THERES NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! I KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT! I’d known if I did something messed up or said something to you😤

I know it was all an accident hun, and it’s really so sweet of you to come and apologize over just one little mistake

BUT THERE IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR!

This prob just happened yesterday! So it wasn’t long, I didn’t want to you feel guilty or to think you had to come apologize to me!

YOU SWEETLING!!!😭💕

NO CMERE AND LEMME SMOTHER YOU IN KISSES AND HOLD YOUR HAND

#babes your too nice😞…#NOW I FEEL GUILTY #DONT EVER COME AND APOLOGIZE TO ME OVER SOMETHING SO SMALL #I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH #I fr imagined you walking up to me and looking up at me like:🥺#MY HEART SORED #now please don’t feel guilty ok?#I will not forgive myself making you feel like that🥲#mj rambles #Cherri being a sweetheart #MY BABBYYYYYY!!!

11 notes · View notes

crossbackpoke-check · 5 months

Note

Hello, im wehaveagathering from my main blog, im kind of obsessed with your hockey poetry edits and I think your blog is great! I guess I kind of have a dumb question, where do you find the images you use for your edits? Did you say Getty in your tags?? I’ve gotten into making icons recently (and i have ideas for poetry edits hrrrghhh) but it’s hard to find high res images. Thanks for your time and I hope you have a nice day :)

first of all thank you so much 🥹 and second that’s absolutely not a dumb question!! i do pull a lot of images from getty and i’ll also download pictures from sports articles (i got a lot of the hugheses pictures from online access articles, for example), or sometimes from instagram/facebook/twitter if an account is public. freely admitting that i am not technologically advanced? inclined? in the slightest here, but the image editing software that you use and how you import/export photos with it makes a difference in the quality of them as well!

if you haven’t seen them yet, i would also recommend checking out @simmyfrobby @national-hockey-lesbian @hauntedppgpaints @tapedsleeves @starscelly and @captainbradmarchand’s blogs just off the top of my head!!! they might know more places to get high res images and also i love their work 💕🫶

#sorry can’t type hands all butterfly hearts i’m just out here like 🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭💕💕💕#@ everyone i tagged ty i love you i hope you don’t mind the tag 😘 also i KNOW i am unintentionally forgetting people so tag them at will #forgive me i am eepy. we are running on <4 hours of sleep and over 18 hours awake 🫡#liv in the replies #join the club!!! join the club!!!!! we love the hockey poetry edits!!!!!! i’m so excited to see what you create!!!!! :)))))#the process of me finding images is very much like. either i have a vision in my head and i troll getty looking for it or my screenshots #if i know i have one l m a o but either way i am always 68 pages deep in a hyper specific search labeling my photos like ‘ohHHH buddy’#‘menace 1 abd 2’ ‘but he’s not a cup winner’ ‘ohhhh the nolpat media scrums are rich earth’#‘because WILLY WON’T CUT HIS HAIR’ ‘deJA FUCKIN MILK BAYBE’ ‘is it truly sn edit if u don’t find a devastating baby pic’ ‘yes MF last line’#and so forth. like. glad it’s comprehensible to ME but if anyone else ever tried to use these photos based on file name alone i am so sorry #also i forget that y’all can’t see all of the metadata notes on photos to know where they’re from :/ i gotta be better abt making it clear #also on the note about image quality i just need to state for the record i am so photoshop whatever illiterate.#i learn one (1) new trick on GIMP a year maybe two if i am lucky & no i have never figured out consistent sizing 🫡 but the one hack for res #i HAVE figured out is that when i do edits i usually make a whole doc w/the poem lined up on it (helps me keep somewhat consistent sizing)#and then i export that document as a pdf and edit the pdf in the software instead of trying to screencap or jpeg or anything. PDF quality >#that is probably so convoluted lol if anyone has tips please lmk i am always learning #ANYWAY. rambling u did not ask for but is inherent to Me.#have a great day too!!!!! you literally made mine so 💕😭#wehaveagathering #indecisor

9 notes · View notes

eldrichthingy · 8 months

Text

I'm such a slut for Orin idk HOW it took me so long to realize it

#I WANT HER I WANT HER I WANT HER I WANT HER!!!#I fucking want her so badly #please slit my throat Orin please rearrange my insides in literal meaning-#I APOLOGIZE FOR ANYONE WHO'S READING IT #but also no #it's my blog and I can thirst over her as much as I like #I want her daggers inside me.. just saying #no but I was MADE for Orin wasn't I?? blood kind fascination with cannibalism and rutualistic murder-#PLEASE FORGIVE ME #.... I'M TRYING MY BEST NOT TO WRITE BG3 DIRTY CONFESSION ABOUT THIS MAD MAD WOMAN 😭😭#I'm losing my fucking mind!! 🙌🏾#nonsims #delete later #olya's rambles

4 notes · View notes

merakiui · 1 year

Note

ALIEN SCARAMOUCHE WITH OVIPOSITION MERA ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME 😭 I need more, what would he look like, what are his motivations... Omg... Maybe some kidnapping going on...some experiments on humans...him studying how humans reproduce and if his race can use them... Aaaa my mind is going crazy with ideas, please do share yours too! <3

What if he doesn’t have a form of his own (something that sort of ties into canon Scaramouche’s obsession with wanting a heart and a purpose)? And maybe he’s more like a shadowy mass that can take the form of anything so long as he’s encountered said thing (i.e. made contact with it? Or maybe he has to kill the original in order to take its form? Or it’s something like a reflection where if you happen to look at him long enough he’ll have a good enough idea of how to replicate your form from staring and analyzing it.) and since he’s so dedicated to having a form that really fits, that truly feels like him, he’s continued to adapt and evolve as the years pass throughout every planet in the solar system.

Perhaps he does have a few features of his own, but maybe they’re sort of scattered?? Or they aren’t really features his species is known to have? He’s like a mixture of various things he’s observed over the time he’s spent on your planet in an effort to shape himself into something beyond the formless shadow he’s lived as for so long. Like a patchwork copycat composed of so many different parts because he’s desperately trying to understand all of these things. It’s like his version of trying on clothes and new fashion styles. So maybe he has horns or maybe cat ears because he’s seen so many stray cats and they’ve always fascinated him for some unexplainable reason (maybe in order to have these features he’s had to ingest part of the living thing he wants to replicate??? Just something a little extra horrifying for our beloved alien mouchey. <3) And maybe the only thing he has from the one who created him (Ei) is the same piercing stare in a pair of brilliantly colored eyes she graciously bestowed upon him.

Maybe Scaramouche can’t understand human emotion in the usual sense that other humans might, so he assigns flavors to these unusual feelings. When he hurts the things he likes or is interested in (cats, the human he stole his current appearance from (i.e. Kabukimono; let’s pretend they’re two separate individuals hehe), and even other gentle things or creatures who are completely innocent), the taste in his mouth is sour or bitter or so very intolerable. I think over time he hardens himself and learns to live with the foul flavors he often encounters when he attempts to blend in with humans and utterly fails because he can never replicate their emotions as well as he can copy behaviors or appearances. He starts his journey so curious and sweetly innocent, albeit murderous and eerie, and he tries so hard to learn and be good and explore the world with the eyes his mother gifted him and yet he always finds himself hurting. He hates it. It tastes terrible. It feels terrible, and he has never truly felt before. This is new.

When Scaramouche is captured by Dottore, a human scientist who is a little too dedicated to the pursuit of forbidden knowledge, he finally tastes the cruelty of humankind—learns of the lengths they’ll go to in the name of scientific breakthroughs. The researchers run dozens of tests on him. He can’t feel external or internal pain from wounds or injuries; he’s sturdy, birthed from a substance foreign to humans, intended to survive the harshest conditions. But Scaramouche feels pain—the emotional kind. He’s never felt fear; he’s what humans would call an apex predator. He’s strong. He’s never needed to feel fear, and so he doesn’t fear the unknown. He isn’t scared of the sharp tools, of the peculiar creatures he’s shown in hopes that he might replicate them and their features, nor does he fear the trajectory of this new life. The concept of ethical practices means nothing to him even though he’s aware he’s a lab rat, a grotesque curiosity that doctors poke and prod at. He reacts to everything in unique, defensive ways. He impaled a doctor through the throat with a strange shadowy spike. It moved as though it were liquid, yet it struck very solidly, sharply, deadly efficient. Dottore likens its movements and behaviors to that of an octopus’s tentacle; Scaramouche is unsure of this comparison. This is merely a shadow of something he has observed—a reflection. A cheap copy. He has never been original.

You’re the first human he meets who isn’t adorned in sterile white. No lab coat, no gloves, no goggles, no protective gear. Just clothes. Normal clothes. The both of you are separated by indestructible glass, placed in two very white rooms, and you can see one another so clearly. Scaramouche hates the purity of white because he knows that when he’s forced into a white backdrop he’s meant to stain it red. And lately he doesn’t want to break things that are undeserving of it. Perhaps he’s feeling too much. Perhaps he ought to tear these human feelings out and go back to the blank, shadowy slate he once was. How he intends to accomplish that, he has no idea.

He’s uninterested in you at first. You’re a human. He’s seen humans. He interacts with them daily. He’s killed plenty. But you spend nights in that white room and he watches you sleep. He tries to sleep in the same way you do; he has no need for sleep. He regulates his energy differently. He tries to breathe like you. He blinks at the same times you blink—or he comes awfully close. He tries to copy your movements and mannerisms. One night he presses himself to the glass and takes your form and watches you, counting every rise and fall of your chest as you lie so comfortably on the very uncomfortable cot. With hands that mirror yours, he pokes at these human features. He fits one hand in the other and pretends he’s holding your actual hand. There is no warmth, though. Humans are warm; Scaramouche is not. He’s frigid. His home planet is gloomy and cold and desolate. He thinks humans are lucky for cyclical days—for being in close proximity to the sun. There is no sunshine where he hails from. He likes the way the sun feels on him. It used to burn terribly when he first arrived on this planet. Now it’s like a hug—a hug that still singes, but a hug nonetheless. He’s never known what a hug is, but he thinks this is what it must feel like—like the burning warmth of a sun.

Scaramouche feels true, raw, animalistic, paralyzing fear when you’re taken out of the room after two weeks and replaced with a new human. You’re gone. Replaced. Are you dead? Did he kill you? Did he stare too long? He’s distraught, overcome with a horrifying emotion that has him curled and trembling in the corner of his white room (a cage if he’s ever known one). Why aren’t you here? And why is he so…restless? He can’t call it fear because he doesn’t know that word. But oh he’s scared. He’s so scared. You were the first human to smile at him, to put your hand on the glass where his rested, to sit close to the glass and eat meals alongside him. You were like the stray cats he’s interacted with: kind, soft, gentle, sweet. He’s so scared he loses the ability to remain in his human skin, and he practically melts into a shadow, clinging to the corner like glue or slime. He’s empty and alone. It tastes terrible. It feels terrible.

The humans that follow are terrified of him. Either that or they’re disgusted, baffled, cautious. He hates every one of them, so much so that he’s tried to break through the glass numerous times to dispose of them. Weeks pass; he’s forgetting your features. There are no mirrors here, so he must rely on the reflections shown in the glass. Some days he thinks he looks just like you; other days he’s certain he’s a monstrosity—a sloppily stitched version of you. The you he saw did not have pointed fangs or curling horns. He hates his reflection because it isn’t you. Most importantly, he hates that the humans he’s forced to look at are protected by this thick layer of glass. If it wasn’t so indestructible, he’d tear through every human nuisance until he reaches you.

Scaramouche is not sure how many months pass, but you return. And when you do the fear ebbs away. He feels…happy? Is that the right term? He’s pleased to see you, and for the first time in a while he returns to his human appearance—to the one he took from a young man many centuries ago. You’re back. You’re here. He’s so happy. He detaches himself from his corner and he tries to smile in the way you do. And, though it’s awkward and strange and sharp-toothed, you smile right back.

Dottore decides then that you are to be the next subject in this experiment. He’s observed Scaramouche’s reactions to you and compared them to reactions to the other humans and found that you are the best suited to this role. If anything, the alien couldn’t have picked a better specimen to adore. You’re helpless and so naïve. You need the money; it’s why you allowed yourself to live in that room for a few weeks. You were paid handsomely for it. He’ll pay you beyond handsomely if you agree to what’s next. And, really, when you’re in between a predator’s jaws do you really have much of a choice?

Scaramouche needs a human match, and the scientists need to study more than just the social biology of an alien. They promise you he won’t hurt you, and if he does it’s all right. They’re kind enough to respect the wishes of the dead. You must let Dottore know if you’d prefer a burial or a cremation. There’s nothing special in this distinction; it’s just a precautionary measure. You’ll agree to participate in this experiment whether or not you want to.

Your new home is the white room that faces Scaramouche, and after some more time and observations to ensure you won’t be killed the moment you step foot in his space the glass barrier will be lifted. Dottore wonders how Scaramouche’s kind mates and reproduces.

There’s only one way to find out.

#genshin chit chat #alien scaramouche #yandere scaramouche #scaranya #please forgive me for rambling orz #i just think there’s so much potential for aliens and scara #I PROMISE I HAVE OVIPOSITION THOUGHTS FOR HIM TOO OTL #i just wanted to world-build a little >_<#(adding more tags because i have so many ideas but!!!)#maybe you can’t kill his species in the way you might kill a human #maybe the only thing that kills his species is heartbreak (or extreme emotions)#because his species cannot handle just how overwhelming heartbreak and things like fear are #maybe because his species was never intended to feel to the extent humans feel #because scara has evolved to withstand any and all dangerous threats #he hasn’t evolved enough to defend against emotional threats #so essentially he is physically very strong but mentally/emotionally he’s weaker because he does not know how to feel or comprehend feeling #and too much of a certain emotion if felt in extreme amounts is detrimental and even fatal to him #because he doesn’t know how to protect against that or repair the damage that has been done from strong emotions #he can be beheaded and he’d easily repair the wound #but heartbreak… he can’t repair that (not after he’s formed such a strong bond with his darling)#AAAAA TOO MANY THOUGHTS

398 notes · View notes

thermodynamic-angel · 7 months

Text

I just.

#I just need them to forgive me.#I'm genuinely so sorry and I really didn't mean to and I hate myself so much for that. I just.#Really need to hear them say I'm forgiven or it's okay or smth because I'm gonna lose my mind.#I'll say I'm sorry however many times they need I just need this so badly because I'm really genuinely and truthfully sorry.#Ik I'm horrible and terrible and awful and disgusting and I don't deserve it but please.#Istg I'm gonna go crazy and bash my head on the floor pppplllleeeeaaaaasssseeeeee #꒰ঌ♡ 𝟽𝟽𝟽.ramble

4 notes · View notes

risingsunresistance · 2 years

Text

skyblock music tier list, except i love all these songs to death so trying to rank anything below a B was terrible <3 if i missed one then... oops. gonna update it when the next update releases (SOON) anyways so i'll just add anything i might've missed

list of songs by title under the cut bc it's kinda hard to tell with just the thumbnails:

top tier: fires of fishermen, light from afar

S: wither king, breathless encounter, journey in the sky

A: lava kraken, going even deeper, necron doom, magetown (specifically the beta version in the second half of the video), rift

B: sky of trees, mythic warfare, forsaken village, superior judgement

C: dark and seedy (bonus: pre-uprising version), dungeon drama!!, always nether, battle of jerry mountain

D: dwarven mines, blockjitsu, the watcher

E: deep caverns, abstract ringing

F: winter island music, hallow hallow

#the ONLY song i can say i ''dont like'' is hallow hallow. and even then i'll still listen to it #also i didnt include dark and seedy pre-revolt bc it's basically the same thing but slower #i love them both the same so including one version was enough :0 #ooooooo you wanna ask me about these songs so bad... idk what you'd ask but you wanna ask me SOOOOOOOO bad #i want. to ramble about the music. i love it so much. i dont even know what to say i just *(&@*(&*^(%* aaaaaaaaa #oh also it wasnt used but starlight striker solid A tier. would love to hear it get used somewhere else :D #*starstriker skye. idk how i messed that up so bad JDHDJH it's 2am please forgive me <3 #it was a song sent in submission to be dante's theme but shinkonet's breathless encounter beat it out #it's SO good. but i think shinko's is better suited for the mood #chat #sb

38 notes · View notes

inkykeiji · 1 year

Note

in the time span between the end of touya-nii pt 2 and pt 3, is reader still as mad at touya as she was on the night/morning of the party? before she meets up with tomura do her and touya act like everything is normal?

anon!!!!!!! what a fabulous question!!!

tw: stepcest, toxic relationship

waaah i love this tbh i could write a whole oneshot about the time between the party and her meeting with tomura (it isn’t in the fic because it technically serves no purpose to the story, doesn’t move the plot forward in any way, it would just be fun to explore as supplemental material hehehe) but to answer your question, after she solidifies her plan with tomura (literally the end of part two) she feels a lot calmer. knowing that she’s finally going to do something about this helps her recover her composure, and she’s able to act mostly normal around touya. he can tell something is off, but he assumes it’s from their fight, that she’s still a little bitter about the whole situation and his infidelity, but as long as she’s staying—she’s here, she’s his, under his command and control—he’s able to brush it off and tell himself that she’ll get over it.

the texts annoy him, irritation itching under his skin, but he lets those slide, too, figuring they’re probably nothing, it’s probably just the coke injecting paranoia into his brain, because he couldn’t possibly even conceive the notion of his sweet, precious, good little sister doing something so disrespectful. he’s still feeling pretty confident; i mean, she got over it so quickly, so that must mean he’s still got her in his clutches, and that means he’s got nothing to worry about. we know touya believes the world revolves around him, so that’s how he’s feeling there: nothing bad could ever happen to him, she could never do something so reprehensible to him, etc.

it’s important to note that at this stage in their relationship, touya isn’t as possessive as he is later on (which, of course, is partly due to her cheating). he’s still trying to sort through these emotions, still trying to deny these emotions, still trying to trick himself into believing that they’re nothing special, nothing significant, (and, as we also know, the cheating is the trigger that finally has him coming to terms with it all and beginning to accept it) and this—while small—also plays a role in him kind of missing these tiny little signs that something was up, because he’s so busy trying to stamp out his emotions. that night in particular brings up a lot of unfamiliar feelings in him, too, and he is very busy trying to forget those and forget why her words stung so bad, why her words have seared themselves into the tissues of his brain and keep wiggling and whispering, why his mind seems to think they’re so goddamn important that it has to remember them, etc.

but yeah! that’s what was happening during that time, basically! i’ve said this before, but readers tattered shreds of autonomy only sew themselves back together when it comes to the prospect of her losing touya. this is when she finds her backbone, when she’s willing to go against him and be bad to keep him with her. no one is going to fucking take him from her. so when she formulates a plan to hurt him, to get him back, she almost instantly feels a little better. she can play the role of the good little sister for another week while she waits for her chance to strike <3

#LOVED THIS SOOOOOOO MUCH ANONNNN #PLEASE #i rambled a lil forgive me aaah #i just love their relationship so much because it is so COMPLEX #anyway!!!#i hope thursday is treating u wonderfully!!#stay safe n drink water okay!!#i’ll drink some too hehe #touya nii universe #inky.bb #clari gets mail

8 notes · View notes