#i think im seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but i've done some truly naff drawings this week

[parisoonic]

artblock = heads facing right (whoops secret reupload as i made some small adjustments to sniper as he looked daft. him/soldier/engie are definitely the toughest mercs for me to draw)

#sorry these are so animationy #tf2 fanart #tf2 sniper #tf2 demoman #tf2 #i think im seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but i've done some truly naff drawings this week

[bxnnywrites]

hiya!! im the anon that told you abt requests being closed, im glad i could help you out!!

i saw you headcanon danny as demiromantic and im very curious, what would it be like if danny had romantic feelings for a survivor reader? how would those feelings develop? i’m not demi myself so i’m rlly curious about the process of it!!

oh anon you have no idea how excited i am to answer this

*clears throat*

🫀 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 🫀

TW :: Obsessive behavior, stalking, violence, general Danny Warnings

Authors Notes :: This uh...kinda turned into a ficlet. Oops!!! I've just thought of this scenario a LOT so I had a lot to say-

Anyways!! Hope you enjoy <3 (also this isn't proof read, we die like men)

It took a really long time for him to realize it, or maybe just for the emotions to develop. He wasn't sure.

You had appeared months ago, or whatever the equivalent was in the realms. Time wasn't exactly an easy concept to pin down here.

For a long time you were just another survivor, someone his knife sliced through with delicate ease. Someone to hunt and kill, that was his job, and entity if he didn't love every fucking second of it.

He liked to stalk his victims, both in and out of trials. Especially the new ones, he loved to see what made them tick. What really fucking scared them.

So he was keeping an eye on you, taking his usual notes, keeping an ear out for anything to use against you later.

But it started to develop into something a bit...more than that.

Suddenly he noticed his notes becoming less about what you feared and more about what you liked.

The way you smiled, how you laughed at Ash's jokes, the way you bit your knuckles when you were worried. The way your eyes lit up when seeing your friends and fuck he wanted to see your eyes light up for him like that.

He shook it off, had to shake it off. It got in the way of what he did. What even was this feeling?

Sure he had flings before he was taken, but he never really had feelings for them. It was part of the game, part of his job. Something to keep him low on the radar. That's all.

Was that what this was then? What it felt like to properly fall in love?

He hated it.

He hated every feeling, he hated the way your smile made his chest light up. He hated how distracted he was, so fucking distracted.

He hated you.

He couldn't stop thinking of you.

Quit laughing at Ash's stupid fucking jokes they aren't even that fucking funny.

More scribbling, more anger, why did you have to appear here? Was it some sort of taunt by the entity? Some kind of damn punishment? Fuck you and fuck whatever feelings you gave him.

For a long time it was like that, if you were in a trial with him you were the first hooked. You were too much of a distraction to his work.

And maybe he loved the feeling of holding you like this but fuck he wouldn't admit that.

------

Eventually you got fucking tired of it.

Every damn trial he would tunnel in on you and only you. Wouldn't focus on anyone else while you were around.

You realized quickly killers couldn't truly kill you. You felt it, every last agonizing slice into your flesh, every bruise, every broken bone, but you would just wake up at the fire at the end.

And you needed to figure out what the fuck his issue was.

Your fellow survivors tried very hard to convince you out of it, but they understood being pissed about it. So in the end, no one stopped you.

So there you were, in front of Autohaven Wreckers. A few survivors tipped you off that Ghostface liked to hang out around this area. Beats you as to why, the place stank of burning rubber and old oil. It made your stomach turn, but you entered nonetheless.

As you walked through the old junkyard, it dawned on you, you didn't really have a plan. You had done this mainly on a whim, annoyed at constantly being targeted and harassed by the white faced freak. Where were you even supposed to look? What if the Wraith saw you? This was fucking stup-

Before you could react a leather gloved hand covered your mouth, pulling you back as the cold steel of a sharp blade touched your throat.

"You scream and this is going into your fucking back, got it?" The voice was husky in your ear, unfamiliar. It made you realize you had never heard Ghostface speak before. So you nod, and he make an approving noise before releasing you. You run a hand over your throat where his knife had bit into it, leaving a light red line against it.

"So," He spoke again, letting you turn to him finally to confirm your suspicions. There he was, the Ghostface in the flesh, mask and all. "What do I owe the pleasure, Doll?"

"Well," You started, feeling your anger bubble up in you again. "For fucking starters, I have some damn questions for you, asshole."

Oh he loved when you spoke like that, some real final girl trope shit.

"Ooo, questions for the killer?" He cooed, leaning against a nearby car and watching you intently. "Brave of ya, Doll. I like it."

"Oh fucking can it, you damned halloween drop out!" You spat, and though you couldn't see it under his mask, your words had him grinning ear to ear. He loved when you were angry like this. "Why the fuck do you keep tunneling me, huh?! Every fucking trial we have you steamroll me and kill me as quick as possible. It's fucking bullshit, dude!"

He laughs a bit, removing his leather glove and using his knife to pick the dirt from under his nails.

"I dunno what you're talkin bout, babe." He says nonchalantly. "You're mad because what, I'm killing you during trials? Come on, that's my job-"

"Bullshit, this is more than that and you know it!" You seethe, god if you knew you wouldn't die you'd punch him. "What's your fucking damage? Hell, I've heard stories about other trials, you're even fucking friendly with some of the survivors sometimes! What the fuck did I ever do to you?!"

His eye twitches.

"Like I said, I'm just doing my fucking job. Now if you would just-"

"NO YOU AREN'T!" You shout at him and he's on you in an instant, hand over your mouth and you can see his eyes through his mask. A deep red brown and angry.

"Listen here you stupid bitch, one more outburst like that and I'm gutting you like a fucking fish, understand?" He snaps, his grip on your face almost bruising. Fear grips you again and you nod. He sighs, letting you go again with an unspoken warning that he would follow through if you got loud like that again.

"Look, it's fucking...it's complicated." He mumbled, looking almost shy as he played with one of the ghostly strips of fabric attached to his outfit. "You're just...you're a fucking distraction. Every trial I'm in with you it's hard to fucking focus, and I have a fucking job to do god damn it." He grumbles. You almost feel bad for him, almost.

"What, and that's my problem?" You snap in return.

"Yeah, it fucking is." He snaps in return, starting to pace back and forth. "I have work to do, people to kill, fear to harvest, the whole nine fucking yards. But you," He points, "You get in the fucking way, you make me lose track, you make me...you...fuck, you make me feel something, OK?"

You blink dumbly at him, finally speechless, and he continues.

"I get this stupid fucking feeling in my stomach and it makes me fucking twitchy. It makes my damn mind race and I can't tell if it's because I want to fucking dissect you or..." He trails off.

"...Or?" You question.

"I don't know!" He snaps, growling a bit as he continues pacing. "I haven't fucking felt like this before, I didn't think I fucking could. I just..." He takes a breath, looking back at you. "I need you to stop."

Your mouth hangs open, shocked by his...confession? If you could call it that.

"What?" You question again.

"Stop! Stop making me feel...whatever the fuck this is!" He snaps again, and even though you can't see his eyes anymore, you can feel the frustration wafting off him.

"How the fuck am I supposed to do that?!" You snap in return, annoyance rising in you as well. "It's not my fault you have a...a fucking crush on me or something!"

"Yes it is, it's absolutely your fault!" He throws his arms up, almost like an annoyed toddler. "It's your fault because you have this soft fucking face and this pretty laugh and that stupid fucking smile! You have these fucking eyes that light up whenever you get to talking about what you love, and fuck I just wish for once that was ME and-" He cuts himself off with a growl, kicking a nearby stack of tired and knocking them down. "It's bullshit, you're bullshit, it's all fucking bullshit!"

You're left speechless until he finally looks at you again.

"There, you happy? Now could you fucking make it stop?!" He breathes out, his eyes just barely visible through the black mesh of his mask.

"I...Well...fuck uh..." You mumble, shifting your weight from foot to foot. "I...don't think I can do that? I mean..."

"Fuck, yeah, course you can't." He grumbles, fidgeting with the fabric strips of his costume again. "I just...this is a stupid, distracting fucking feeling and I hate it."

"Well...I mean..." You take a breath, not really sure how to approach the situation. "Maybe we could like...I dunno...start over?"

He looks at you, and you swear he thinks you're insane.

"Start over?" He questions, "The fuck you mean start over?"

"Like, I dunno. Figure shit out from the beginning, like...get to know each other or something?" You say awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck.

"...Are you fucking crazy?" He questions, and yeah, you expected that. "Like, hello, earth to Dollface, I've killed you dozens of times now. I have murdered your friends in front of you." He snaps his fingers, impressive considering he's still wearing his gloves. "Like sure, sounds nice and all, but how the fuck do you expect to just start over? Hi, what's up, the names Ghostface. Wanna get stabbed?"

"Don't be a fucking dickhead." You snap in response and huff, "Look, I don't know what you want me to do about...whatever this shit is," You motion to him vaguely. "Like I dunno dude, you need a good therapist or something?"

"Fuck you." He growls.

"Yeah, whatever." You breath out. "Look, I don't care what you do, but I'm sick of you pulling bullshit during trials because of...whatever your feelings are. So you either talk to me about it and we get it sorted, or I start making offerings to the entity to make your job even harder than I apparently already am." You cross your arms and look him up and down before sighing. "I'm heading back to camp, if you want to fucking talk-"

"Wait," He grabs your arm and you stop, looking back at him before he sighs. "OK maybe...maybe you're right. Maybe we can like, try that? I dunno."

You smile at him, sighing in relief.

"Good, I prefer that." You turn to him, extending a hand and telling him your name proper, even though he already knows it. "Nice to meet you, Ghostface."

He stares at your hand for a second, but slowly, he takes it.

"...Ghostface is fine for now." He mumbles, shaking it awkwardly. "So...uh...how do we do this?"

"Well...what kinds of movies did you like? Before you got taken."

His eyes light up, and suddenly he's on a kick. Rambling happily about his favorite horror movies while you listen.

Things get better after that.

Rather than being targeted, you're more often than not spared during trials.

Of course people get suspicious though, so you have to cut a small deal with him to either spare all of you during trials or kill everyone including you.

He's not personally a fan of the second option, so he ends up sparing your little party whenever you're involved.

You two get closer and you start to have your own feelings for him in return.

Eventually he tells you his real name. Danny, it rolls off your tongue nicely.

He's nervous at first, but eventually his smooth charm comes back and it's rare for him to not leave you flustered and blushing when you two talk.

When you finally get the courage to tell him your feelings, you swear he's on cloud nine. immediately talking about how happy he's going to make you and how he'll make sure no one in this fucking realm ever touches you.

You have to talk him down from that, knowing that your other survivors would hate you if you were the only exception during trials. And while he says "fuck em" you know you can't have him as your only friend in the realm, as much as part of him would love that.

But it's nice, he treats you like royalty. Like you're his entire world.

It might not be a real happy ending, but it's probably the closest you'll get in this hellhole.

And that's good enough for the both of you.

#bunny writes #danny johnson #dbd #dbd x reader #danny johnson x reader #ghostface #ghostface x reader #scream #survivor!reader #fanfiction #slasher x reader #slasher fluff #slasher romance #slasher fic #100

[spidey-d00d]

Always Been Her (Rooster x Reader)

Rooster x Reader

Summary: In which, Bradley left you hurting more than ever, along with your best friend, Phoenix.

Word Count: 4k TW: ANGST, heartbreak, cheating, Phoenix being the bad guy (IM SORRY I LOVE HER SM), Jake being the best best friend, this is literally just self-projection, based off of a true story! unedited work because since when do I ever edit my work

A/N: Hi! Sorry this one took me a little while, I've been absolutely exhausted lately and it's only going to get worse lol. Anyways, this is literally based off of my life, just altered a little bit to fit the characters and everything, so yeah that's fun. So that's enough from me, enjoy the angst lol. I am working on getting requests done so if you sent one in, I promise I saw it and I they are a WIP I just need a little time to get them done!

You had never hurt like this before. You didn’t know how it could happen to you, not after everything you guys had been through. How could someone who promised that he would never hurt you, basically rip your heart out and stomp on it a thousand times over. 

You weren’t sure what hurt more, the fact that he did it to you, or the fact that your best friend also betrayed you, and hurt you too. Phoenix was everything to you, she had always been there for you and then some, as you were for her, but she turned around and was the accomplice to the crime on your heart. 

The feeling of betrayal, hurt, anger, emptiness, everything had washed over your body constantly, like you couldn’t come up for a breath of fresh air in ages. It was a constant state of pain all over your mind, body and soul, and you couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. 

You had sworn to yourself after your last relationship, you would never give anyone the power to hurt you like that again. And you didn’t this time, no, you did so much worse. You gave them more. You allowed Bradley to come into your life, burrow into your heart, make himself comfortable and like he belonged there. You were convinced that he was the one, the one you were going to marry. You remember laying on your stomach, kicking your feet up in the air while writing letters to him when he was on deployment, talking about the future for you guys, writing down every dream and detail you could think of, because he was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Until he decided that you weren’t enough for him anymore, but Phoenix was. 

While you were at home, writing him letters, he was out in the world on deployment, sharing his every waking moment with the one girl he told you not to worry about. 

You knew about the past the two aviators had, they had a small fling but Phoenix had shot Bradley down more times than he could count, so he said he was over it and settled for friends. So much for that. 

There was always a nagging feeling in the back of your mind about the two of them, but you wracked it up to the fact that you were just over thinking. Phoenix was your best friend, and Bradley was her friend and your boyfriend, so you guys had spent a lot of time together. 

There wasn’t a thing that you wouldn’t do for either of them. Putting yourself in uncomfortable and vulnerable positions to make sure that either of them were okay. You would walk through fire if either of them had asked, that's just how much you had loved them, but they obviously didn’t reciprocate it back. 

~

It started before he had even left. He was staying out later, saying that they just needed him on base for longer. Leaving your shared bedroom to go sit in the living room on the phone at night when he thought you were asleep. You wanted to believe it was work, but when he wouldn’t even look you in the eye when he talked to you anymore, if he talked to you at that point, you started to think otherwise. 

You had asked him multiple times if it was something you did. If he was mad at you. 

“Please Bradley, just tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?” You pleaded with him in the middle of your kitchen. 

He wouldn’t even pull up his eyes in the slightest to look at yours, looking anywhere but where you needed him to the most. 

“Nothing baby, I promise.” He replied, giving you a broken promise. 

“That’s why you won’t even look at me anymore?” You basically cried in front of him. It was tearing you apart, knowing that you were slowly losing him but you couldn’t know why. 

“I do look at you,” Bradley shot back, finally looking you in the eyes now that you had said something, but you knew from the first time that you had questioned him on it, that it would last this conversation that would soon be over, and then it was right back to square one, “Don’t overthink baby, I love you.” He told you, making you hear what you wanted to. 

Stupid little naieve you, believed him. You wanted to believe him, he never gave you a reason to not. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and listen to his words so you did, but that didn’t stop you from calling up your best friend in search of some advice. 

“Phe, he won’t even look at me, how am I supposed to fix things if I don’t know what's wrong.” You cried into the phone to your friend who you shared everything with. 

It felt a little weird at first, talking about your relationship with the girl that your now boyfriend had chased for a couple of months, but she assured you that she never felt that way for him, that she didn’t mind helping you talk through your relationship. You took her at her word and let it all out. 

“I know y/n, but you just need to keep trying to talk to him. He loves you, and I’m sure he is just going through some stuff right now. Work hasn’t been the easiest so maybe he is just taking it hard.” You heard her speak into the phone, you could sense the shrug in her shoulders. 

~

What you didn’t realize, is that while you were sitting there, beating yourself up and asking for advice from Phoenix, they were going behind your back. 

The late nights and the night phone calls Bradley was having, was all due to Natasha. She was the one occupying your boyfriends time, instead of you. 

You were being replaced and you didn’t realize until it was too late. 

While you were trying to fix your relationship, save it from perishing and burning you to the ground with it, they were having the time of their lives, falling into love just like they said they wouldn’t. 

You were nursing a broken heart and they were living their lives like nothing had ever happened. 

The worst part, having to find out days after. 

Bradley and Natasha were called onto a last minute deployment, leaving for two weeks. You had just gotten into a big fight with Bradley the night that he left, Natasha consoling you and making sure you were okay. Offering her shoulder to cry on, you accepted it until she had to leave too. 

It was basically radio silence from then on, barley getting one word answers every 4 hours from Bradley when usually he was on top of his phone, never letting your message stay on delivered for more than an hour. 

You kept telling yourself that he was busy, he was working, but in your head you knew it wasn’t true. It was so painful to know that you were losing the love of your life and there was nothing you could do but sit back and watch. 

It was now 3 days before he was supposed to come home. It was still quiet on his end, but you were hoping that you guys could talk when he walked back into those doors. That the time apart made him realize that he was wrong, and you were just overthinking. None of the rumors you were hearing from around you were true. That he was in love with Natasha now. That they were dating. That you and him had broken up already, but you weren’t made aware. 

That was until, of course, the text message had rollen through at a crisp 12:30 am. Of course you weren’t sleeping, you couldn’t. Since he had left, you barely slept, ate, or talked. It was all too much for you to do, it was too painful. Every time you fell asleep, you would dream about all of the good things that happened in your relationship. Talking was too tiring. Eating made you nauseous. There was no winning in this situation, and the text message just made it all worse. 

‘We need to take a break’  

The words flashing across your screen made your heart stop. It fell so far into your chest you could feel it in your toes. You mind stopped buzzing and there was nothing. No thoughts, no noise, it was just pure silence. Your ears started ringing, hands shaking, breath running ragged. Your body was shutting down over 6 words. 

To anyone, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. A break is a break. But to you, it was the end of the world. Your mind flashed back to the conversation you and Bradley had early into your relationship. 

‘A break is just a break up with extra steps. There is no coming back from it ever.’ He had told you. You had agreed, a break is just an easy way to let someone down, but to break their heart even more. That is exactly what he was doing. 

You started shaking so hard when crying that you hurt all over. What had you done to make you deserve this? Were you that bad of a girlfriend? Was it something you said, or did? Why was this happening to you?

He gave you no answers. No one did. No one knew what was going on anymore. 

You never connected the dots between Natasha and Bradley until she had forgotten to take you off of her close friend's story and posted a bunch of stuff about how much she had loved Bradley, pictures of them together, of them kissing and holding hands. That’s when everything that had ever happened started making sense. 

You didn’t have the strength to answer him right away, but all you could muster to reply was, ‘if that makes you happy then okay’ 

He told you he loved you and that he was sorry, but you knew it was a lie. How could he be so okay with lying to you still, right through his teeth. He didn’t love you, because if he did, he would’ve at least had the decency to tell you in the beginning that he was losing feelings. It would’ve hurt a whole lot less, though still hurting. Being lied to and cheated on is the worst pain of all, especially when you are staying back in your life to try and fix something that had no bother being fixed. 

Bradley didn’t want you to fix your relationship, he had already checked out a long time ago, just forgot to tell you. 

You thought you knew pain, true pain, and knew it a long time ago, but it would never amount to the kind of pain you are feeling now. 

If he had the respect to just tell you, to just say before he got involved with Natasha, that he didn’t want to be with you anymore, it would’ve been a whole lot better than it is now. 

Not only are you feeling the pain of losing the person you thought you were going to marry, but your best friend. The person you literally ran to, to talk about the problems in your relationship. The person who had given you advice to try and fix it, even though she knew the reason you and Bradley were failing, and she was that reason. 

Natasha sat right in front of you, pretending to be your best friend and the shoulder you cried on, while she was going behind your back and being the main cause of your pain. How could someone do that? 

Then have the audacity to spread rumors around your friend group, that you had learned to love since you were connected to them through Natasha and Bradley, and tell them that you were crazy and a liar. 

None of them had believed her though. The group of aviators that you had first met when Bradley had gotten called back to Top Gun and you followed him like a lost puppy, had dropped contact with the two, but continued to talk to you. 

You felt bad for a minute, for taking their friends away from them, before you realzied that they had ruined your life. They had given you so much pain and grief to last a lifetime, so no, you didn’t feel bad that the team had chosen you over them. 

The team knew better than to take the two outliers side, they didn’t agree with what they did and they knew how much pain it put you through. 

Bob and Hangman had stayed with you for a few days after you and Bradley had officially broken up and it was made known. You couldn’t leave your couch for that time, everything, even blinking, was too daunting of a task for you to do, but the men had made sure that you stayed as healthy as you could. Making sure you at least drank water and tried to keep something down. Made sure you showered and brushed your teeth, and most importantly, made sure you knew you weren’t alone. 

You couldn’t thank them enough after you broke out of your funk. You started putting yourself together, slowly but surely. You had blocked the two backstabbers on everything you could think of, and deleted every picture and video you could find, just to make sure you didn’t get a glimpse of them. It was too much to see that. 

You picked yourself up off of the floor, physically and metaphorically, obviously with the help of the team who weren’t associated with them anymore, and found ways to make yourself feel better/ 

You were finally going to be okay. Yeah, some days were going to be worse than others, and you were going to have to eventually face them, but for now, for the moment, you were able to breathe. 

Bradley crossed your mind here and there, small things reminding you of the time you had with him. Same with Natasha, little things that you had made inside jokes about had always popped into your mind, and it used to set you off into a spiral, but now, you were able to breathe through it. You were able to work through everything and find a way to make peace with everything.

You were growing and you realized it. You were strong, and you were brave, and you would be okay. You would always be okay. 

~

The day that you had to see him in person inevitably came. You were doing so well avoiding the interaction all together, but it was Naval Ball, Jake had invited you to go with him. It wasn’t more than friends though, he just wanted you to get out of the house more, make some new friends. Everyone knew it was because he wanted an excuse to leave early, and if he brought you, then you could be his excuse. 

You didn’t mind though, seeing everyone again would be nice and getting free booze was a plus. All you had to do was plaster on a fake smile around Bradley for the few seconds you had to interact, and then Jake would whisk you away and it would be over. Pushed to the back of your mind while you enjoyed the rest of your night. 

Though you wished it to work that way, your life never made it that easy. 

When it came time to come face to face with the man who broke you into pieces not a couple months ago, your body went numb. You couldn’t breathe very well, but you managed to put on a fake smile and struggle internally without drawing attention to yourself. 

“Y/n” He nodded at you. 

You stared blankly at him, how did he seem so fine in your presence. While you were sweating and wishing you were anywhere else besides here, basically hyperventilating, he was treating this like he had seen you every day for the past couple months. Like nothing ever happened between you. 

“Rooster” You nodded back. You knew it would sting him, you never called him by his call sign during your relationship. 

‘That’s for work, and I don’t work with you, so you are Bradley to me. Or baby.’ You had told him once, and stood by it. You never called him Bradshaw, or Rooster, just Bradley, B, or any pet name you had chosen that day. 

If it affected him, he didn’t let it show, just returning a tight lipped smile before excusing himself. You followed him with your eyes, he made it across the room to stand next to Natasha. That was another reason you were losing your breath. 

You watched as he said a couple of words to her, she tried to get a secret glance your way without being caught, but staring at them from across the room, you met with her eyes as soon as they turned in your direction. 

You didn’t hesitate to turn around and bust out of the room, rushing down the quiet hallway. Not sure why you even agreed to come here knowing Bradley was going to be here, all you wanted to do was go home. 

The feeling that had come and gone when you were first going through everything had come flooding back through your system. It was like you had made no progress at all. It hurt too much. To see him so happy and unaffected. How could he? 

He could’ve at least pretended to be heartbroken, for your sake. To make you feel less weak, but you knew that was stupid thinking. 

Bradley and Natasha were happy. They were in love, and as much as you wished they would hurt a fraction of how you did, that their relationship would fall apart in shambles, worse than yours and Bradley’s did, you couldn’t help but be happy that he was happy. 

That’s all you wanted for him since you met the man. As long as he was happy, then you would find a way to be okay. If being happy meant not being with you, then you were going to have to find a way to cope, because that’s all you had wished and prayed for since you could remember. 

You had tried to prove to yourself, at least that’s what you had convinced yourself but everyone knew it was for show, for him, that you were going to act unaffected. Pretend to laugh effortlessly at something the Hangman had said. Place a friendly hand on Fanboy’s shoulder and try not glance over that ROoster while you did it. Yu knew he would be watching, you fel this eyes on you all night. 

Although Bradley was there with Natasha, it didn’t stop him for letting his eyes bore into you the entire night. You had glanced in his direction without rewalizing it, it was just an unbroken habit from the months you had spent with him, and every single time without fail, you had made eye contact with him. He never looked away first though, you always broke the moment and found the ceiling tiles fairly interesting. 

The game that you guys had been playing all night had been mentally exhausting. You felt like the months of building yourself up were slowly slipping away and you couldn’t let it happen. You had worked entirely way too hard on yourself to try and get into the comfortable position you were with yourself, so you finally were that excuse for Jake, tugging on his arm as a cue to start wrapping it up. You wanted to go home early, and he never argued it. 

Not only did Jake want to go home, he was just waiting for your signal, but you needed to go before something else happened. It wasn’t that simple though. WHile walking out the doors, you had realized you guys left in such a hurry you forgot your small bag inside. Jake had offered to go grab it for you,w hich left you outside the doors by yourself. It was quiet enough, letting you chill out for a few minutes while waiting, but that was greatly interrupted by the door opening up. 

You perked up, thinking it was Jake who was just that quick, but instead you were met with the same face that had haunted your mind this entire time. You just turned around and went to walk away, opting to meet Jake at the car instead, but you were cut off, making you stop in your tracks. 

“Y/N Please just hold up.” He had said, which if you were in your right mind, you wouldn’ve kept walking. He didn’t deserve the time of day, not after what had happened, not after what he did, but your body stopped anyways, against all of your mind and hearts wishes. You never turned around though, just standing there as he talked to your back. 

“I-I’m sorry, for everything, I never met to hurt you.”Bradley explained and immediately you body buzzed with anger. Whipping around you let out every single word you had imagined saying to his face since the day everything happened. 

“You never meant to hurt me? Seriously?” Your voice was laced with venom, anger taking over every single feature of your face, “All you did was tear me apart and stomp on every single piece. You fucking tortured me while you were off play family and house with my best fucking friend Bradshaw.” You threw your hands up in the air, “The one person you told me not to worry about, you left me for.” 

“If maybe you had the small amount of respect for me as I had for you, then you would’ve told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore, but instead you went behind my back and made me feel like shit. I was losing my mind for weeks because I thought I did something wrong.” You sighed, the anger leaving your body faster than you thought it would’ve, but now your body was being consumed by anxiety and wanting to be wrapped in your fluffiest blanket. 

“I lost myself trying to fix us, and you didn’t have a care in the world, because you don’t care about anyone but yourself, Rooster.” You spit out, “So please, don’t ever speak to me or about me again.” You concluded as you saw Jake making his way towards the two of you. 

He didn’t even say a word while wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you away from the situation, looking behind you guys to give Bradley a look, but you weren’t bothered to find out what it was. You kept your head down the entire car ride home, silently. 

You wished tonight could’ve gone different. You wished that you and Bradley could’ve been civil enough to get through the night, and you thought you were past everything, but turns out you weren’t. For the record though, he had the time to process and move on, all you were left with was unanswered questions and heartbreak.  Loving Bradley Bradshaw was the worst thing you had ever had the displeasure of experiencing and it consumed you entirely, in both the mind-numbing loving kind of way, and mind-numbing pain kind of way, but surprisingly, you caught yourself thinking about how you would do it all over again if it meant experiencing the kind of love you gave. Even if you weren’t able to experience that kind of love being given to you, you knew that you were capable of giving it, and that was enough to keep you at peace with it. 

#bradley bradshaw x y/n #top gun #top gun maverick #jake seresin #one shots #angst #hangman #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw smut #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw #heartbreak #natasha trace #natasha phoenix trace #natasha trace x reader

[imanes]

hi imane! i hope ur doing well <3 i just wanted to ask: what do you do during times of uncertainty? im a uni student abt to go on placement and I've been applying for part-time jobs that's centred around my field but to no avail sadly :/ i wanted to save up at least so i wouldn't stress during placement and everything's so overwhelming.. there are other external factors that's making me feel this way too like a friendship break-up i had few months ago and its affected me quite badly but im starting to pick myself up again. anyways sorry for the rant and i hope ur day is lovely x

hey! just sat down after hours of procrastination to work on my dissertation and i wish i were done already akjdkfgj but it could be worse!! ok it's gonna be long and probs unhelpful but i know that you wanted to vent more than you thought i was holding some solution so I'll just ramble and hope something resonates with you lmao <3

for me uncertainty makes me feel like my life is in shambles, it's hard to cope with things going south and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but during my yearly flop era in march/april i had a talk with a friend who's much older, wiser, and more experimented, and basically it helped me put things into perspective and learn how to let go. there are only so many things that you can control so i split my different issues into different categories for a more systemic approach to my problems lol: things that i can actually somewhat control (my emotions, my reactions, my efforts, what i can do moving forward to alleviate some of my stress), things that are out of my control (how people misconstrue me, external stressors like shitty coworkers, refusals from jobs i was applying for) and things (and people) that i don't need in my life. learning to let go of things for me internationally infamous control freak was not easy but it was liberating, idk if you're religious so if you aren't the next part isn't going to be helpful lol but i don't think i should be chasing things because i am exactly where i am meant to be, and if i start clutching at the things that aren't meant to be in my life, it's just my ego getting in the way, and i prayed that Allah just lets me find the place that i would fit better in and that He'd take me away from it if i wasn't going to be doing or feeling good there. i guess the non-religious version would just be to trust the process and understand that things in life wax and wane, whether it be job opportunities or relationships. obviously there's like a plethora of other factors like what do i do if i can't pay the bills and stuff? that was how i was thinking just a couple of months ago when my dissertation was not writing itself and nobody was hiring me! but a few weeks have passed and looking back on it i was starting to chase things again and it made me feel like i was stuck in a rut when in fact it's normal for things to take some time to settle down and for opportunities to arrive.

so basically whether you stress about it or not, literally nothing is going to change except the way you frame it in your head. for me i just continued applying and gave interviews my all while also being detached enough to simply trust myself to find the space that i was meant to occupy eventually, and after many many many rejections i finally found something a week ago, but it took a couple of months of steady job application to get there. looking from the other side of the mirror it's easy to say things like "don't get discouraged!" but it is true that if you keep throwing shit at a wall something's going to eventually stick, hence the power of consistency and of never giving up.

i'm glad you're slowly building yourself back up after your friendship break-up, i know how much it can drag you down but again some people are meant to be with you for a season only and at the end of the day with the effect of time making things more bearable and by working on your self-esteem and knowing that you can do things that you set your mind to, whether it is finding a part-time job or picking yourself back up, in a few weeks you're gonna look back on where you were mentally at when you sent me this message and where you'll be then and you'll thing "well i guess things DO pass huh who would've thought!!" lol life is a cycle of stability and unsteadiness, doesn't matter how much you prepare something's always going to go sideways but another truth is that things fall back into place again and you have to have faith in that, in yourself, and maybe in something else like i am w/ my relation to religion if u need extra help. speaking of help if you have a support system, confide in them and let them carry some of that weight for you!! you'd do the same for them so don't feel like you're a burden for needing help when you are facing instability. wishing you the best of luck and i really hope you find a good part-time job before your placement babe

[poetlcs]

2024 album listens

Recording all the albums I listened to in full for the first time in 2024. Albums released this year are marked with a *

Making Movies by Dire Straits. 5/5 Top 3: Romeo and Juliet, Hand to Hand, Tunnel Of Love

Light, Dark, Light Again by Angie McMahon 4/5 Top 3: Saturn Returning, Divine Fault Line, Staying Down Low I liked this album but I thought some songs sounded a little samey samey. It reminded me of Punisher a lot.

I Put a Spell on You by Nina Simone 4/5 Top 3: Feelin' Good, One September Day, July Tree I've listened to a lot of the songs on this album but never the whole thing top to bottom. I love her voice so much. I just think some of the best songs on this album are a LOT better then some of the lesser songs.

Summer Days by San Cisco. 3/5 top 3: summer days, lost without you, high I love San Cisco but lately their music hasn't hit as much. I thought this was a fairly so so album. Songs were nice but it felt a little uninspired

MADRA by newdad. 4.5/5 top 3: nosebleed, angel, sickly sweet BANGER of an album. Super cohesive with some really interesting riffs and bits and bobs on each song. I was shocked to see this is a debut album. one of those albums where you immediately go back to relisten to the songs. only took the 0.5 away cos I think it's slightly too long

Loss of Life by MGMT. 3/5 top 3: dancing in babylon, bubblegum dog, nothing changes It's okay - I just thought it didn't really stick. Like not much REALLY stood out

eternal sunshine by ariana grande. 4/5 top 3: supernatural, I wish I hated you, we can't be friends & bye This was close to being perfect but I really think it needed a powerful ballad in the middle and the writing to me was okay in parts but overrall i really liked it. her vocals sound amazing this is the first ari album I've truly enjoyed since thank u next

the rise and fall of a midwest princess by chappell roan 4.5/5 top 3: after midnight, red wine supernova, coffee bit late to this one IM SORRY but wow this is such a fun and excellent album. I couldn't stop smiling the entire way through. I love that it also has some more slow and intimate moments too. Really embodying the idea of the rise and fall in the way the tone goes up/down sad/happy you know. It feels both familiar and new at the same time which I love. Sort of reminded me of melodrama in the structure which I LOVE. The ONLY reason I took off the 0.5 is because I feel the start of the album was a lot stronger then the end. I even think possibly one song could be cut. But it's very good! loved it!

grace by jeff buckley. 4.5/5 top 3: lover, you should've come over, hallelujah, forget her I've probably listened to 70% of this album just never sat down to listen to it all in a row. anyways LYSCO/Hallelujah has to be one of the craziest back to back song pairings ever. This is suchh a beautiful album my ONLY issue is I don't like eternal life and don't think it fits the vibe. Amazing album though

cowboy carter by beyonce. 4/5 top 3: texas hold em, bodyguard, blackbiird I thought the production of this was the highlight. Also loved how stylistic it was, I love a concept album. Thought the first half was stronger and it's too long, which is why it's a 4 star. Blackbiird cover was GORGEOUS, Jolene cover I don't love as much. The original tracks are great with a feww I don't love as much. Overall very good! I will be listening a lot

found heaven by conan grey. 3/5 top 3: killing me, winner, alley rose I think I wanted to like this more than I did. I really love new wave and the production was GREAT, literally sounded like a song off an 80s album. But I overall found it kind of derivative. It was like oh yep thats the elton song, thats the joy division song, thats the queen song. It felt almost inauthentic at times, and maybe it's just because cowboy carter just came out and showed us all how it's done but it just felt too much like copying music rather than being inspired by. Some of the songs were big misses for me, and the highlights were definitely the ones with more vulnerable lyrics and singing.

#mine #music #2024 albums

[adamthursday]

update 2/26

life is weird. i got what i wanted, everything and more, and its really hard to say if this is what i needed. being in college, i don't even feel like a student. i go to class yeah, i take tests yeah, but i don't study for shit and make straight C's without even trying, knowing i could really do better if i tried, but i don't. i can't help but wonder if this is what i'm meant to do. so what i get a degree, i don't even think that's what i really want, but i don't even know what i want. i think im trying to keep up with everyone else in a sense that i'm living the way everyone else should live. but the feeling of an outsider never went away with me being submerged in a university of thousands upon thousands of people. i got a job, i'm a gardener for the college i go to. and it really feels great being that. creating things that last. not for the short term but for the long term. like just the other day, i planted 11 trees. a mini forest. i did that. that's pretty cool, and i can't even tell myself that it isn't. maybe it'll even out all the bad i've done in this life if i could contribute to nature. maybe it will help my soul. more than ever, the isolation presides over me like a dark cloud. it was once what i wanted, but now i know it's not what i need. but little by little, i think i'm bettering myself in the way i want to. i see a little light at the end of the tunnel, even though some days i want to smash my head on a wall over and over and over and over again. even though the most beautiful people surround me on a day to day basis, i stay reserved- i still think of her in some way. but not the way i used to. i hope shes doing okay. anyways, that about wraps it up for now. it's time to get serious, i guess.

[calmspirited]

hi

been a long time I've been here. a lot has happened. ill detail a bit what has happened in my life under a read more, but for those who don't have time -

tl;dr - lots of personal changes, ups and downs, moving away from dbd in general and dbd rp, may, *may* try fortnite rp, no promises, i'm going to leave my blog and sideblogs and start over with a new blog when i make it

this is super duper long under here. long and rambling and chock full of improper grammar

hello! i guess my departure from here started when the great porn ban hit tumblr. just really didn't vibe with their decision and stepped away for a while. during that time, I realized that it felt really nice not having to worry about rp'ing with everyone (and you all were wonderful!) and that in general, it felt like a job that i wasn't happy doing anymore. i realized dbd rp had become... tiring for me.

it was so long ago - over 2 years ago! I do remember getting a part-time job round that time, so that was another reason why I never really returned. biggest thing was my mother got sick around this time 2 years ago. she never got better and passed away in June of 2020. we really thought she just had a cold she couldn't get over and bad arthritis pains, but suddenly her health absolutely tanked and just 2 weeks after going into the hospital for the first time, she was gone. turned out, she had had insidious caner for years and never knew it, but even besides that, all of her health issues had suddenly magnified tenfold and it was too much.

my mother was a very important figure in my life, and her death was very unexpected and sudden and traumatizing. I remember being scared and anxious to go into "her" parts of our home for months. back then, I had briefly thought about coming back here - I was giving tumblr another chance - but when she got sick that got thrown out the window. i really didn't think about tumblr for months after her untimely death.

but her death led to the start of a lot of changes. she had been needing some home care for several years that I had done myself, and suddenly I found myself with a lot of free time and new opportunities. i signed up for full-time community college, and at the end of this year I hope to have an Associates in Business Administration, along with several management, accounting, and bookkeeping certificates. I got my first car in August of last year, and that has led me to get 2 part-time jobs and be semi-financially independent! that has always been a big goal of mine. im super glad to have these jobss since my eldest sister, who i live with and who supports me financially, had some serious heath issues of her own this past christmas and was out of work for almost a month, and i had to help with the bills.

since may of last year, i slowly started developing health issues. im not going to get too personal, but ive developed hormone, painful skin and auto-immune issues that has made me feel not too hot these past few months. im just starting to see the light at the end of that tunnel, and i'm looking to begin working with a specialist who can help me identify what is triggering my issues (it seems to be centered around food-they're thinking I have some sort of broad food sensitivity). its a slow process, but im beginning to have times where i feel... good. great, even. it's the start of a long journey for me.

While I still play DBD on occasion, i no longer support the game as much as I used to. ever since the pinhead nft debacle, ive lost all faith in the higher ups of BHVR and have come to realized just how scuffed and uncared for the game is. For the first few years, while the game was bad, you could tell while they were confused, they had the spirit and passion to at least try and make the game good. over time, it's clear they don't intend on strengthing the game to its full potential and are using it to make money.

(dont get me wrong, i love the aestheics and visual aspect of dbd - its the higher ups that have made it this way)

the pinhead nft episode was really it for me in concerns of loving dbd. i no longer support the game financially and can't really love a game whose developers blatantly mislead people and do not disclose the info that the purchases of one of their character will fund nfts until it is just too late to ask for a refund. trust me, that was on purpose. that was super scummy and really speaks volumnes about their goals. the only people i blame for that is the people up high enough to make these decisions, because i know several art designers at BHVR who worked on pinhead were shocked and dissapointed that their work was used for nfts.

I actually couldn't play dbd after they did a big graphical update sometime in late 2019 on my laptop, and i ended up trying out a few other games with a couple of friends. I somehow ended up getting into Fortnite summer of 2020. this also relates a bit to my mothers death, due to the fact that when she died, i had more free time at home to play games with others. I started playing loosely in Chapter 2, Season 3, and really remember being hooked by the end of the season into Season 4. While it was a silly, cartoon style battle royale game, I just ended up really vibing with it.

I've met a lot of new friends in fortnite, and have honestly had a lot more fun with Fortnite than I had with DBD. I finally got myself a real beefy PC this past December and have only played DBD a handful of times on my own. took me a long time to re-install it, too. say what you want about fortnite and it's average 12 year old playerbase (there are SO many of them its unreal) - theres real passion and good quality lore and events behind it the game's surface. it drew me in.

fast foward to now. I've started hanging around tumblr more these last few weeks and months and have thought about coming back... just not to dbd. dbd is not "it" for me anymore. it has lost its appeal, its fun, its passion. i have seriously considered picking up fortnite rp - if there is an actual serious fortnite rp community lol, haven't looked (is there even actual rp going on in tumblr anymore?). either way, if I do start rp'ing again, it will be in fortnite more than likely.

I have not only this blog, but several different rp blogs attached to this account. I'll reblog this post there soon and also the link where I will be making my new blog, wherever and whatever it may be. (note: this text editing is super cool)

I do intend on one day logging out of this account and then eventually never logging back in. That day will be one day, but not today. Before I log out of this completely, I will make a new blog and post the link where I will be. while i may find my old rp stuff semi-cringe, i know people did somehow enjoy my writing and I will NOT be deleting my account. Ever. I hate it when people do that.

I want to thank everyone for supporting me throughout the years, even if we were once friends and no longer are or have not spoken in years. I'm bad with keeping up with people once I drop from a social circle. my life has been a crazy journey these past years and it has all contributed to who I am today, which is someone I'm proud of. a lot of stuff has happened, and it is time I begin anew and wrap up this final part of my life that has been dragging its feet behind me.

if you have taken the time to read this, thank you. truly. to those who have followed me but have never interacted, take this as a hello and a thank you. even if no one interacts with this post, im glad to have gotten it off my chest. its been on my mind for a long time to move on.

I will make a new post when I make a new blog, and share the new link. I will also update my contacts soon (will make a note on the contacts page that it is up-to-date). As for my writing blog, I'm not quite sure what I will do with that. I actually have dreams to become an actual author, but whether I remake it, transfer it to a new site, or leave it altogether, I will announce it here and over there.

if anyone from... here, i guess, wants to get in contact, do not be afraid to message me. just keep in mind after i post the link for my new blog, you will have to message me over there as I will pack up shop completely. I probably will not remember who you are at all, but I do enjoy talking to people. I don't know when I will be making the new blog, but it will probably be within a month or so.

so... once again, thank you. while I was here, I had fun. but now, it is time to smoove on.

~Catch you on the flipside,

Jek

#fortnite #{ higher forces } mun #im so happy tags have autofill lol #but yeah!!! i do be moving on #my life changed so much here #but it is time to go to the next chapter #fortnite haha #dont know it til you try it. but definately watch out for the 12 year olds #theyre vicious #dbd #you never know #see y'all soon!

[leniinero]

November 4th 2021 4:49am

Throwback posts//

December 1st 2020

There have been times in my life especially lately where I've needed someone to talk to because I feel so down and lonely and have reached out and those very people either straight up said "no, not here for all of that" or "i try to keep positive so I'd rather not listen to sad stuff" or "not this again!....just cheer up! Think happy thoughts!"

Okay. Great. That's so easy. 😒

Um okay. So next time people wonder why I'm so quiet and keep to myself. This is why.

I dont want to bother anyone.

No one looks out for Lenii. Am I supposed to have this figured out by 31? Like is that there blueprint?

I scream but nobody listens.

Clinical depression is real and it brings a mess of friends. There's a block party in our heads that we weren't invited to.

The demons ain't the only ones up at night.

January 14, 2020

People dont understand how severe depression can be and how it affects everyone differently.

People really think you just dont care about the way you look, how clean your area, your schooling, your health is etc. You do care, you always care, you're just sucked so deep in your head that doing anything else seems impossible. You cant get over depression or even work on it when people around you, those that claim to love/care for you, give you shit. And say "it's a phase"; "get over it, pull yourself out of it!" Dont you think if it were that easy mental illness would be a thing? Ever?

It's like those 80s movies or that episode of Supernatural where you're running from the monster you cant see....or hear but you know it's there because you sense it. It's there! So you run into your room, block the doors and windows, sit on your bed. And try to breathe, you think you're safe so you start to calm down so you can focus on what to do next. How to stay alive.

And right when all starts to seem well, the monster you thought you left on the other side of the door.....grabs you by the ankles and starts to pull you under the bed. You cry, you scream, you knock shit over. And all that left is a mess. A mess and your nail Marks on the floor.

We do know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, we just don't think we deserve to see it.

Instead of at least trying to understand or be there for this person or even just listening; you're judging and assuming.

Hey, how about you just ask? Or even a "hang in there buddy!" Would do just fine.

I'm over it. ✌

October 17, 2020

#TMI

I dont just think people don't understand the severity of depression. If you couple it with anxiety, its even worse. I've had a clear plan in my head since my mom died in 2014, a plan of what I've wanted to do with my life. I've seen a post of about how they take months to do something that would only take 30 minutes because that's what depression does to you. Its more than a quick moment of sadness or uncertainty;its more than a funk. Its a serious thing that a lof of people just brush off when someone else has it. I think that's why "Glass House" is such an important song to me. Because its therapeutic even if it is sad. Because even if it increases the pain, it makes me feel understood. Even if it is by complete strangers like Kells & Naomi.

I spent all of my 20s in waste. I moved to another state to start over..Im almost 31 and I've done little to nothing to make these plans happen.

And what's worse is that people keep reminding me of how much of a fuck up I am. So when I over post about stuff that makes me happy, that's just me, trying to make myself happy. I dont mean to be annoying.

Ive tried to reach out to people that I thought cared about me, people I've known forever as a last ditch effort. But nothing. They've literally told me no. Don't wanna hear it. Id rather not listen to you talk about sad things..etc. This is why I just keep things to myself. (With the exception of this post)

So, lets talk about you....show me a picture or lyric or quote or link that helps you get through hard times.

I'm gonna have to do a separate post on these songs.

#leniineropersonal #depression #suicide #mental illness #mental health #Spotify

[one-boring-person]

Only Traitors Consort With The Damned. (Part 13)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: injury, blood

Context: The boys, (Y/n) and Nico formulate a plan to get out of the cave safely.

A/N: I have a new editor! It is my good friend @jawline-of-steel and she will hopefully be helping me with editing on all of my work!😊💛💛💛

Edited By: @jawline-of-steel

Masterlist

“What do we do? There’s no way out of here except through there! We’re trapped!” I say quickly, keeping my voice down as much as i can so as not to alert anyone outside of the fact that we are very close by, “Is there anywhere we can hide?”

“In here? Yeah, there is, but I’m not sure how good the hiding places are, especially not for someone as big as him.” Dwayne muses, gesturing to Nico as he turns to David with a questioning look on his face.

“All of the hallways are blocked off by debris, and any of the crawlspaces barely fit us, so it’s doubtful that he will be able to get through.” The platinum blonde responds dismissively, though his tone betrays his nerves, the idea of a team of highly trained Hunters waiting just outside the cave worrying and unnerving to him.

“How is she supposed to walk anywhere? She’s got a busted leg, remember?” Paul interjects, pointing at me.

“One of us could carry her?” Marko suggests, which draws a low growl from Nico, his protective side showing through as he tightens his grip around me, holding me tighter to his chest.

I think for a minute, during which time the other five tense up, clearly having heard something I can't, Marko and Paul starting to look even more worried. Frowning, i look around at them all, as if asking them to clarify, though none of them care to explain; instead, David jerks his head to the side, signalling for the rest of us to follow him as he leads us through a nearby tunnel, which takes us to what i assume is their sleeping quarters, Nico having to duck down the entire time as he struggles to fit his bulk in the space. As we emerge into the area, David quickly starts talking.

“The sun is gonna come up soon, so we don’t really have too much time, but I think we can help you. If one of us carries (Y/n), then she can leave through the way we get in and out of here, which isn’t accessible by foot, so it's the safest way out. As for Nico, there’s a chance we can lure the Hunters around the caves enough for him to have a clear chance at getting out of here, but it will only work if you're fast, because they'll most likely be expecting something like this to happen. There’s a safehouse a little way away, where you can stay until you can find transport, and where one of us can stay whilst the sun is out.” The vampire swiftly explains, the rest of us nodding as we take in the plan, glad that one of us is thinking rationally. 

“Hold on, why do you have a safehouse?” Nico asks, frowning in the dim light.

“Our sire made it in case anyone ever came after us.” Dwayne fills him in, before moving on again just as quickly, “Which one of us is going to carry her?”

“Paul will, he's the fastest out of the four of us, which will mean he can get to the safehouse much quicker.” David says decisively, looking to his friend for confirmation.

“I’ll do it.” The tall vampire nods, reaching out to take me from Nico, who reluctantly hands me over, giving me one last squeeze for reassurance as he passes me to the blonde.

“Hang on a sec, what about Nico? How is he supposed to know where the safehouse is?” I chip in, looking at the towering werewolf as he straightens again.

The vampires are silent for a moment, thinking the question through, clearly as stuck as I am. Eventually, Dwayne pipes up again, having thought of something.

“I guess one of us will have to go with him.” The brunette says, looking around at the others.

“Yeah, I guess that would help.” I agree, adjusting myself in Paul’s arms.

“I can do it, I'm fast enough to get out of here and into cover before the sun comes up.” Dwayne offers, looking over at Nico as the werewolf, nods appreciatively, still uneasy around the vampires, but not as much as before. 

“Ok, Dwayne will go with the werewolf. We’ll stay here and out of sight as much as we can.” David says with finality, watching us all agree before speaking again, “Alright then, let's get going, I can already hear them on the steps.”

“Alright. Thank you for doing this, you really didn't have to.” I say to them all, smiling thankfully.

“No problem, Dwayne is right. We owe you this, you’ve saved our lives too many times to count.” The platinum blonde waves me off, moving to start off into a nearby hallway. 

I go to say something, only for Nico to cut me off, gesturing for Paul and Dwayne to move off immediately, not allowing me to argue with him, as is often the case. Paul starts moving off, carrying me as he turns down a different way to the others, where there is already a cooler breeze blowing in from the sea just outside. I lean back against the vampire’s chest, tensing in his arms in trepidation as i think through the plan in my head, still nervous about what will happen to my friends whilst im gone, particularly David and Marko, who will be stuck in the cave with a bunch of Hunters ready to kill them at a moment’s notice, should they get themselves caught. Part of me is confident that they won’t, but the more rational part of my mind knows that there is a very high probability of things going badly, which will end even worse for the rest of us. 

I am snapped from my thoughts by the sound of the roaring ocean, the cave now widening out into a cavern that is filled with crashing waves, the far end ïleading to the sea itself, the horizon still cloaked in darkness despite the proximity of dawn that is fast approaching.

“You're gonna want to hold on tight.” Paul warns me, waiting for me to grip him with more force before he kicks off the ground, the disorientation that comes with his floating slightly off-putting as I become stiff in his arms.

“Hey, relax. I'm not going to drop you.” The vampire promises, before he starts to move off towards the front of the cave and out into the open. 

*

My back aches as I slouch in the chair I'm sat in, my fingers knotted together as I watch the doorway, my lip already in shreds from how much I've been biting it, every muscle in my body tense with nerves. Across from me, Paul eyes me in concern, knowing that every movement I'm making is upsetting the injury on my knee, which is throbbing painfully now, though I am ignoring it in favour of staring at the space where Nico and Dwayne should appear. 

"They'll make it, (Y/n), don't worry." The vampire tries to reassure me, though he isn't too convinced, looking just as worried and uneasy as i feel.

"I hope so." I manage back, my jaw clenched and tight, though I am doing my best to relax it.

We wait in silence again for a few moments, neither of us daring to say a word in case we miss the tell tale sounds of someone entering the safe house through the hatch in the abandoned gas station above, the actual door itself squeaky and stiff from disuse. It takes a little while, but eventually we hear it, at which point Paul moves to stand by the doorway, ready to intercept if it should be someone unsavoury, rather than the supernatural beings we are expecting. I sit up straighter, my eyes trained on the doorway, anxiously awaiting whoever it is, the heavy footsteps becoming more and more audible as they approach.

Suddenly, the familiar, lithe silhouette of Dwayne enters the candlelight, the brunette limping a little, his bare chest stained red with blood, Nico just behind him, the werewolf completely bare, his skin covered in sweat, blood and dirt. A few cuts litter his chest, though there is a wound on his shoulder where the shaft of a crossbow bolt is just visible. The German instantly comes over to me as he sees me, ignoring any pain as he chooses instead to pull me into an awkward embrace, glad to see I'm alright.

"Thank God you're ok!" He hums into my hair, pulling back to look me in the eye.

"I'm fine, Nico, though I can't say the same about you. What happened?" I respond, looking between him and Dwayne, who has sat down beside me on a different chair. 

"There were some waiting for us outside the cave. We fought them off, but we both got hurt in the process. Nico took a crossbow bolt for me." The vampire informs me, nodding thankfully at the werewolf.

"And you took a bullet for me. We are even." He responds, smiling at the vampire in his usual crooked way, moving away from me when he finally notices that he is still naked, "Are there any clothes in here that I could wear?"

"Err, yeah man, they're over there. What happened to your first ones?" Paul asks, looking a little confused.

Nico sends him an odd look, obviously wondering if the vampire is joking.

"My clothes were destroyed when I transformed."

"You transformed?!" Paul exclaims, going wide-eyed as he looks over the huge werewolf.

"It was the only way either of us would be fast enough." Dwayne cuts in, groaning as he pulls a bullet out of his shoulder with his fingers.

"Oh, right." His friend nods, going to the brunette's side to offer his aid.

Across from us, Nico roughly yanks out the crossbow bolt, growling as he does so, pulling on a shirt that is much too small for him after, knowing that the wounds will heal themselves in a little while. Once done, he moves to sit on a sofa nearby, only to come and help me up when I gesture to him that I'd like to join him. Carrying me over to the sofa, the werewolf sits down with me, placing me beside him as he leans back, clearly tired.

Tired now, I watch as Paul helps Dwayne with his injuries, the two vampires talking quietly amongst each other, clearly worried about David and Marko, who are most likely still running from the Hunters back at the cave, the two of them in great danger. Unconsciously, I let my head drop onto Nico's shoulder, my eyelids starting to droop as I start to give in to the sleep I've been fighting off all night, the perpetual warmth from his body soothing and calming to me, his arm coming up to support me as he carefully manoeuvres us so that he's lying back against the arm of the sofa, my body resting on his. In this new position I quickly feel myself start to lose consciousness, my muscles finally relaxing as I let myself fall asleep.

Part Fourteen

#the lost boys #joel schumacher #vampire #david(thelostboys) #kiefer sutherland #paul(the lost boys) #dwayne(the lost boys) #santa carla #marko(the lost boys) #star(the lost boys)

[xpeachesncream]

Nikkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiii ❤️

I've done nothing but cry in this entire chapter 2😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My heart is breaking so much for Yoongi🥺 He is going through so much. Hes raising Suki all alone, his mother in law is suffering, all he can do is watch her in pain and see her suffer, hes not getting the answers he wants and he's suffering on his own too, hes holding out for his daughter, there is so much pain inside him yet there he is living with a smile for the little angel. Im happy finally things might have a conclusion at his mother in law's end, I'm hoping the docs figure what's wrong.

I seriously admire the way you write babe for real, you're one of the people that I don't think I'm ever getting tired of reading whatever you put out! It's really a mystery how you manage to portray these emotions, the love and the pain and everything. It's so clear, so enchanting and I think it's such a rare thing. Im in love with this series and I think it's a gone case for me in here, I am on my way to get addicted to this story❤️ this series something I think il be coming back to read again and again not only because this is so extremely well written but also because I felt it personally no matter how bad life is closing down on you right now, however hopeless situation might be sometimes, there is still going to be light at the end of the tunnel. I think this thought is going to shine through and I can't wait to see Yoongi happy, and Suki getting all the happiness in the world❤️

Sorry for the word vomit, I tend to get carried away sometimes:)

leah 😭 i always love reading your thoughts. this chapter was already pretty heavy, no? yoongi is harboring a lot inside, and he’s not purposefully trying to hide it for the most part— it’s just that he’s always so occupied taking care of his people around him. his people > himself. and i know sometimes that’s not the easiest, but he tries. he really tries to pull through despite what he’s going through internally. ♥️ as you say— if there’s a will, there’s a way. ✨

i appreciate you so much, those were very sweet words 😭 it put the biggest smile on my face. i am happy i can pull those emotions and let them shine through my fics. you know i am always here for you no matter what. im always thinking of you and sending you hugs and good vibes. love you tons, babe! thank you for always supporting me and being there for me! 💓💓

#asks #xpeachesncream #leah 💗 #namjooningelsewhere #daydream series

[zxddy-panther]

Blessed

A/N: Hey guysss! I really feel so bad for not writing at all but I finally have something out for you guys. For all those who are still wondering, yes I am still going to write my Summer Walker inspired BP series. I just have to get all these drafts posted for yall before I post them. This one kind of took a while so I hope you all enjoy it. Also if you want to read all my stories I do have a masterlist posted but all my works are on my wattpad (@zxddy_panther)

Erik X Black!reader

Summary: A breakup between you and Erik has led you both into a deep hole of despair but there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warning: Self harm, depression, some fluff later on

 You wandered the rainy streets of Albany with your dark hoodie, walking slowly in despair. Body slouched and face drooping with sorrow, your mind replaying the moments of weeks ago. The yelling, the harsh words, the tears, and worst of all: the breakup. The relationship truly wasn't bad but you woke up to the harsh reality that it was you. It was your own mind that was pressuring you to believe things that weren't true, that weren't real. It ultimately broke your relationship and you had no one to blame but yourself. It has become your biggest and deepest regret letting him go because you truly did love this man.    

You loved Erik Stevens but you just didn't know if he loved you too.      

*****    

The key allowed access to your cold, dark apartment as you tracked your wet rain boots onto your floor. You slipped them off and set them near the door and headed towards the bathroom, ready to commit yourself to the same miserable regime. Turning on the lights and looking forward, you stared into the eyes of a now lost soul. You were disgusted by the person in the mirror because THEY ruined your conscience. THEY ruined your self esteem and THEY ruined your relationship but you soon realized that they.....is you. Your eyes welled with tears as you threw off your damp sweater and opened the drawer under the sink. Grabbing the razor you quickly put it against the skin of your arm and pulled back with speed. Your actions slowed as you watched the dark red blood begin to rise up from the long cut along your brown skin. A numb feeling washed over you as you continued the motion over and over and over again. Place, push, and drag. Place, push, and drag.

You looked down at your numb and bloody arm with tears streaming down your face. Tear drops fell onto the many wounds and made you hiss in pain. "I've gotta get this shit cleaned up" you thought. Your body makes its way towards the bathtub to fill it with warm water. After you removed all your clothes you looked at yourself once more in the mirror. The now scarred lines that ran across your thighs and your new stripes shone red all across your arm. This will always remind you that you deserved this. Your head slowly turned back to the tub that was done filling up, you headed towards it. Placing one leg after another into the bath water, you allowed yourself to completely submerge yourself in the liquid and drowned yourself in utter silence.    

*******    

Its been about 40 minutes since you started staring at the ceiling fan in your room just mindlessly thinking. You felt so empty and physically drained from all the tears and emotions that you have been letting out. A silent buzzing from your phone woke you from your trance. You rolled on your bed towards your night stand and grabbed the phone to check who was calling you. The caller ID read: Erik. Everything froze and your world stood completely still. You were shocked and had no idea what to do as your hands shook frantically. The vibrating stopped and you took a look at your phone again to see that you had 10 missed calls from him prior to this. "How did I not hear this?" you thought to yourself. "Do I call him back?" The ring quickly started back up and you hit the answer button as fast as you could. Putting the phone to your ear, you took a deep breath and spoke for the first time in weeks.    

"Hello?" you whispered. All that could be heard was ragged breathing on the other line. You sat and listened, waiting for any type of response.    

A hushed "Y/N?" came from the other side. Your eyes shot opened and your heart rate increased.    

"Yes Erik...."    

"Y/N.." you waited. "I-I need you please. Im freaking out baby please come back I cant do this without you. I need you here with me Y/N. Please come back to me."    

You quickly ended the call and shot up from your bed. Throwing on some clothes, you headed towards the kitchen and grabbed your car keys.    

*******      

You arrived at Erik's door step feeling crazy for even doing this. You fumbled with your keys to find his spare house key still attached. Inserting the key into the lock, turning it, and pushing the door open you were greeted with a body curled up in corner of the living room. Erik was rocking himself back and forth, sobbing, repeatedly saying your name. You used your foot to close the door and his head shot up.    

He looked just as tired and drained as you. His once beautifully braided locs were now frizzed and out of braids. Dark brown bags surrounded his eyes as if he hasn't slept for days. You slowly walked towards him while he rose to his feet. The two of you kept your distance, standing awkwardly in the middle of his living room, until his eyes met yours. When your eyes locked it was like your emotions were also in sync with one another. You watched his eyes start to well up and his face begin to distort as he tried to hold his tears back. Closing the distance, you began to walk towards him and cupped your hand on his cheek. His eyes slowly closed as he leaned into your touch, allowing his tears to finally fall.    

"Baby..." he let out. "I-I need you in my life. Its like I-I." His hands began to shake as he brought them up, clenching his fists." Its like I cant live without you Y/N. I don't want to live without you." He looked down and quickly grabbed your hands to hold. "What happened? What happened to us? Was it me? Because if it was I swear to Bast that I'll fix it just- just give me another chance" The volume of his voice started to pick up. "Please come back to me Y/N." His hands gradually rose up to grab your arms softly but, even his gentle touch caused great pain to your wounds. You snatched your arms away and hissed in pain. He looked up at you with a confused look plastered on his face.       

Erik had a feeling to what was going on but, he just didnt want to belive it. You promised him months ago that you wouldn't revert back to hurting yourself. He prayed that he was wrong but  lifting up your sleeves revealed the harsh red lines across your arms. He closed his eyes as more tears fell from his droppy eyes.    

"Y/n. Did I do this to you?" He brought his hand up to your face and brushed your tear away with his thumb.     

"No no. It wasnt you Erik. It was never you." You decided that it was time to let him know the truth. The weight that you've been carrying on your shoulders has gotten heavy enough.    

*********    

"Y/N...Im sorry. I shouldnt have left-" You placed a finger over his lips which stopped his words. Your eyes took him in again once more. His skin and lips still as soft as you remembered. The message was clear as day when the two of you locked eyes. Erik took your face in his hands once and placed his lips on yours. Both of your lips moved in sync while tears came streaming down your faces. He slowly sucked on your bottom lip and let out a small sigh. He missed this. He missed you.    

You pulled away for breath but held fast to his body.      

"No Erik. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like this. That I made you feel like this was all your fault when it wasn't. It was mine. I was always so insecure about how you truly felt about me and-" Tears started to choke you up but this time you let them fall. You were so tired of holding back your feelings and thoughts. "And I always felt like you didn't love me as much as I love you."    

The phrase replayed itself in his mind. This was the first time that anyone had said that they loved him. His troubled past had put him in the mindset that he could never be loved. Today was the day that he was finally proven wrong. He always knew that he had a great girl who always found time to see him, even in the worst circumstances. Someone who was always down for him, and someone who would never leave his side.

You heard him begin to chuckle as his smile spread across his face. You looked up at him confused, feeling stupid for confessing your deepest feelings.    

"Whatever Erik" You began to turn away from him and started heading towards the door until he grabbed your hand, pulling you back into his chest. He looked down at you while resting his hand on the small of your back. His dark ember eyes starred deeply into yours, unraveling you as you stood.    

"If only you knew how much I love you. I'm so blessed to have you in my life but I need you to know that-" He brought his face closer to yours, looking from your lips to your eyes. " I love you more than words can say."    

(Please message/repost to let me know if you want to be on the taglist because im still tagging random people :/ )

Taglist: @chaneajoyyy​ @wakandanblogger​ @wakandamama​ @marvelheaux​ @melaninmarvelgirl62​ @killmongersgurl​ @killmonger-dolan​ @heyauntieeee​ @hearteyes-for-killmonger​ @eriksjournal​ @hearteyes-ficrecs​ @justanotherloveaffair​ @theunsweetenedtruth​ @supersizemeplz​

#black panther killmonger #black panther imagine #black panther #Erik Killmonger #erik x reader #zxddy imagine

[sillymagicmaker]

"Ask what opportunities around me im not seeing." This one piece of advice that the 4 of Summer gave to me when asking how to attain peace today. So now I'm going to ask every divination I have that question, except my travel cards, mainly because I don't want to go get out my travel cards.

So, what opportunities around me am I not seeing?

7 of Autumn. The opportunity to see how far I've come in my goals. The opportunity to look at what I've done well and what I can do next time to improve.

Ace of swords. The opportunity to stop being stagnant in my life.

Page of swords. The opportunity to develop my recent ideas.

Five of coins reversed. My relationship is going better than I think it is and I have been totally missing that in my sadness. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Berkana. This.. make me feel like I've been missing the opportunity to get a therapist.

OKAY SO WITH THIS INFORMATION:

Today I'd like to:

-write in my diary about how far I've come with my goals and what I could improve upon for next time

-stop watching anime and dreading movement from the bed to do anything.

-Record drum sounds for my song I want to make without my friend's help. Finish editing my YouTube video.

-Have sushi with my friend. Possibly put together a drum line for the song I want to make. Also begin practicing my anime singing voice for the song im making with my friend. Call my mom to plan a day to go to Lowe's with her. Put the new tools in the closet from the car.

-hug my boyfriend and tell him how wonderful he is

-call my doctor to ask for a list of insurances. Do some research on them. Call the insurance company. Get insurance. Make a list of therapists to call.

-organize all of this. I cant do it all today but im very excited to get started. Any and all progress I make today is a success.

#witchcraft #witches #witchy #witch #witchlife #witches of tumblr #tarot #tarot deck #tarotreading #attain peace #peace #inner peace #rune readings #nordic runes #norse runes #plans for today #excited to live #the opportunities ive been missing out on