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#i think it's safe to assume i should at least treat my body as if it has it

circuitcircus · 1 month

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in defense of kabumisu……..

addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ‘bad’ or why their canon relationship ‘doesn’t mean anything’ while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have

listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you don’t see it around then god I wish that were me) there’s an age gap!- erm there’s also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh

kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?

kabru isn’t treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and foot…I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao

he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after he…...y’know. speaking of which-

they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"

you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrun’s backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. it’s just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen

mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other

i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didn’t recognize him when they talked for the first time)

mithrun is racist!- he’s actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didn’t use ‘outdated slurs’

(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe it’s worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)

taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.

that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.

+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.

+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:

also here we have him washing his own body

just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. he’s captain for a reason

kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. i’m sure he’s grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well

he even starts doing “unnecessary” things for mithrun’s comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back

here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):

there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabru…)

kabru’s relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but it’s often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isn’t even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason 🥲🥲

kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant

you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters 😭 i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately

also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:

and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more

kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely

haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis 🤪🤪🤪

also don’t somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of don’t make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters

bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:

#dungeon meshi #kabumisu #kabru of utaya #mithrun #dungeon meshi spoilers #i'd rather be able to enjoy their dynamic without feeling like i have to explain it but i keep seeing the same takes i cant do this anym-#i feel like i advocate for kabumisu so much because i see so many people mischaracterizing kabru to make l4bru work like how they want #by saying he’s obsessed w laios because he thinks he’s hot..but he was curious about his autistic behavior and eventually thought his lack #of malice would make laios the best candidate for becoming dungeon lord to prevent another utaya tragedy. tho eventually he doubts that #not that i care that he's shipped with laius. i just want ppl to see kabru for who he IS bc some still think hes nothing but a shady bicth #i think that's best shown through his dynamic with mithrun (other than his own words of course) so i want ppl to acknowledge it properly #like idk if I can trust popular fan interpretations of the characters or relationships anymore after the shit with toshiro bro 💀💀#not trying to attach kabru’s entire being to mithrun or anything either just..saying #hm i feel like the way i worded all of this will make some ppl mad. not my intention but whoops #anyways has anyone drawn ship art of senshi and mithrun yet? anyone?

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️

That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.

If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:

Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest

Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.

Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.

I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:

Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)

Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle

Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement

Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:

When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation

Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks

Stretch after binding

Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest

If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method

Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it

In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #long post #if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up #this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder #it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me #and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality #i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him...#...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out #and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them #you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think #i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is #anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them #i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much #i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛

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the-gateway-to-madness · 8 months

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Jack Frost Headcanons

Jack likes strong flavors, be they spicy, sweet, or savory. He likes mild stuff too- point is he'll try any food, pretty much.

Jack has good coordination and steady hands, and as such is very gentle when he handles most objects (and animals, and people).

Jack is a Ravenclaw with ADHD: he's not ambitious or trying to join the Guardians, who are powerful and well-known. His fighting style is more about maneuvering and strategizing than guts or power (unless you really upset him like when Sandy died). The being-easily-bored and good sense of humor would indicate intelligence as well.

Jack has a great sense of rhythm but dances like a dork on purpose.

Jack is a night owl.

Jack creates a proper hideaway for himself in Burgess after the movie. Something about the forming and confirmation of his identity in the movie makes me think he'd be ready to make a nice little home or even just a safe spot afterwards.

Jack's main love language is quality time, North's is words of affirmation, Bunny's is acts of service, Tooth's is gifts, and Sandy's is physical touch. Yes, I know North seems like he should be the gifts type, and he definitely does gifts like no one else- but he comforts Jack by talking with him, and Tooth tries to comfort Sophie with a (horrendous) gift.

Jack never yells during arguments. He's seen what it does to people who've been abused, watched kids and lovers be hurt and tried to stop it- so he refuses to even risk scaring anyone that way. Even before becoming a Guardian, Jack would never raise his voice in a fight- at the very least, never face-to-face.

Jack has a handful of scars, mostly from dumb accidents or crash-landings. He refuses to tell the stories. Everyone assumes they're horrible and traumatic, but in reality, Jack was just terrible at paying attention to stuff when he first started out as a spirit.

Emotions like anger, embarrassment, or attraction raise Jack's body temperature just enough for his blood to thaw and his heartbeat to get going. It startles him every single time.

Jack is fascinated by folklore and mythology and studied them extensively to try to track down other spirits to befriend, with little success.

Jack played at least one instrument in his past life (his hands would be suited to violin or piano, especially) and instrumental music still calms and focuses him.

Jack was a farmer in his past life and still has lean, strong muscle hidden under his hoodie. He could absolutely win an arm wrestle with Bunny.

Jack is a little insecure about his Adam's apple.

Jack's powers are stronger at night due to the lack of apricity.

Unlike the animosity that a lot of the fandom portrays Jack having with other potential seasonal spirits, I think he's buddies with the other seasons, they just don't see each other much due to minimal domain overlap. The spirit of autumn is his favorite, but he's very protective of spring (mirroring the fact spring relies on winter to nourish the earth). The other seasons all treat him like their baby brother.

Jack dips french fries in Wendy's frosties unironically. He probably dips their chicken nuggets in the frosties too.

Sophie made Jack watch gen 4 My Little Pony with her and he didn't think the songs were half bad. He would never admit this to Jamie or anybody else in a thousand years.

Jack thinks birds are cool.

Cats see Jack more often than dogs. He doesn't know why, but he's willing to pet most things that move.

Stay tuned for what will probably be a lot more of these-

#rise of the guardians #rotg jack frost #jack frost #rotg #rotg sandy #rotg north #rotg tooth #rotg bunnymund

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seleneprince · 4 months

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Hear me out

With the growing popularity of transmigration webtoons, I assume we've all read those ones about a random girl or fan reincarnating in the villainess' body and changing the original plot completely, and often finding out the villainess wasn't so bad and the MC was the real enemy all along.

I'm obsessed with that trope and I don't care how repetitive or predictable it gets sometimes, it fuels me. It gives me life. And since I recently started to re-read The Remarried Empress on webtoon (i'm following I Abdicate my Title as Empress now and the nostalgia hit me), I had an idea I can't stop thinking about. Well, two ideas:

A fierce fan of The Remarried Empress dying in an accident or falling into a coma, I don't care, and reincarnating in Rasha's body, right when's she found by Emperor Sovieshu on the trap. She's a BIG supporter of Navier and hates Sovieshu with passion, blaming him for everything. Her opinion on Rasha is the same as the average fans...until she experiences the girl's trauma and hardships herself, and realizes that there's more depth in the unfamous webtoon villainess than she thought. Despite her new identity and knowing most of the plot, she cannot bring herself to stay away from Navier and show her adoration for the Empress, acting like a fangirl whenever she sees her or hears about her. She helps push all the strings to guarantee Navier and Heinrey's love story to shail, because even though she wants her close, she wants Navier to have the happy life she deserves.

Or the original Rashta going back to the past after her death and, feeling terrible for what she did, vows to not commit the same mistakes again and decides to do her best to help Navier from the distance whenever the Emperor fucks up. She doesn't want to be empress, just have a cozy and secure life away from slavery, so she's resolved to make Navier stay and if she has to act as a marital therapist for them so be it. She knows her position is secured with her baby, so it's not like she needs the Emperor's affection on her, just his promise to look after her (plus she resents him a lot now, so the less she interacts with him, the better).

These ideas were born out of my new found realization that Rashta, while she works amazing as a pitiful villain, her character was deeply misunderstood and forever condemned to be mocked and attacked by everyone, both in the story and the fandom. She wasn't a saint, sure. She did bad things out of selfishness and purposedly went against Navier to steal her place, and I was satisfied with the ending she got. But most of the flaws that made her so annoying for the fans are actually reasonable within her character's past. Rashta was sold as a slave by her own father when she was a child, placed in a house with masters that abused her and treated her like trash simply for existing (Lotteshu even gave her a dead baby to let her believe it was the one she lost, how the fuck no one talks more about it?). Then, she escapes and the Emperor saves her, showering her in affection and riches and promising her a fairytale love story. She think she's safe, that she can finally be happy, but Lotteshu re appears and begins to blackmail her, and then turns out the Emperor doesn't love her but wants to the heir she can give him. Ergi is her only friend in court apparently, but he's manipulating her from the beginning and eventually betrays her. And Rashta wasn't purposedly rude to Navier at first, the girl was illiterate and knew nothing about etiquette, but she admired Navier and wanted to be close to her, but Navier assumed she was mocking her instead. And Sovieshy obviously never helped this situation.

I want to see a story where Rashta's traumatic past is properly explored instead of showing it as side information, and she gets the development she should have had. And what better way than with a reincarnation story? At least in my opinion

Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao

#the remarried empress #empress navier #navier ellie trovi #heinrey alles lazlo #sovieshu #emperor sovieshu #rashta #remarried empress #navier x rashta #unmarried queens #reincarnation manhwa #remarried empress reincarnation au #we hate sovieshu here btw #he's the one i never felt sorry for #he got what he deserved

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higheldertala · 7 months

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doing a little rant about the doctor and gender. i gather this discourse is getting stale but im gonna give my two cents anyway.

anyone who’s read my opinions on the ch*bnall era will know i really didn’t like how the doctor’s gender was represented during this era and unfortunately that seems to has passed on to the rtd2 era. not that the topic of gender in doctor who is new, i would say the topic of specifically time lords and gender became more prominent with our favourite misogynist st*ven m*ffat when he introduced missy, explicitly claiming that she could never call herself the master while being in a woman’s body. thanks m*ffat!

i think it’s safe to assume that time lords shouldn’t care about gender. at least not in the way humans do. they’re aliens, they wouldn’t follow human societal gender constructs. that would seem like a simple conclusion but apparently not to the white boomer men writing the show. even within the show the doctor has stated that time lords don’t ‘obsess’ over gender as written by said m*ffat (before of course immediately contradicting this just one episode later, showing time lord do actually obsess over gender to the point where it’s literally ever other line of their dialogue).

okay back to the point. as within the ch*bnall and now the rtd2 era the doctor’s gender is ascribed upon by others. no where in these eras does the doctor ever proclaim their own gender, it is simply assumed by other characters and then never questioned or challenged, much to my frustration. and sure perhaps the doctor doesn’t care what human gender humans assign to them but for me this greatly robs their character of agency. even from a genderfluid or agender perspective, if the doctor just says this out loud then that would be enough for me to be satisfied that the doctor gets a say in it.

secondly the doctor’s gender is still just being used as a joke. the doctor’s gender (and ability to change bodies) isn’t treated seriously and more just a funny little quirk the audience can point and laugh at, being presented as ‘lol i was a man/ woman 5 minutes ago isn’t that so funny’. not only is this such a cisgender/fixed binary way of viewing gender it’s also really insulting to actual genderfluid people who do change their gender. their gender and the ability to fluctuate gender isn’t a joke, it’s a person’s identity and should be treated with respect.

in the star beast, gender comes up in the resolution of the episode where it has no place to be. it’s makes no sense to add gender to the equation as it provides no further explanation of the resolution. and the line about the ‘male presenting time lord’ is completely baffling in every single way. rtd has clearly shown he understands the existence of the spectrum of gender and non binary gender yet with this single line contradicts this by resorting back to gender stereotypes and essentialism stating ‘a man could never understand emotional intelligence of letting something go ’. in an attempt to make GirlBoss™️ moment, rtd has just created average sexism. truly two steps forward then one step back. and to further bring this back round, again timelords would not care about gender and are unlikely to perform gender sterotypes this way so why bring it up at all. the doctor’s emotional vulnerability whilst present as a flaw in their character, is in all incarnations regardless of the gender of the actor playing the doctor. to suggest that the 13th doctor would be immune to this flaw is again sexist and also a fundamental misunderstanding of the character, with 13 has been one of the most emotional constipated and closed off incarnations. it honestly makes me question whether rtd has even seen the 13th doctor’s era at all.

unfortunately i think my desire for gender to be discussed and explored within the show seriously is not gonna happen any time soon, and honestly to prevent further frustrations i would rather the topic is not raised at all, if it is gonna be treated so carelessly and flippantly.

#sorry this is very rambly i hope i got across some kind of point #and this has all definitely been said before so i don’t think im adding much new to the discourse #just venting i suppose #anti chibnall #anti moffat #anti rtd #fuck it everyone gets an anti tag

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ahdraftingco · 2 years

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Oneshot: Let Me Help You

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

AO3 Crosspost: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40326249

Rating: Explicit, readers are advised to read the warnings below before proceeding.

Warnings (in no particular order): Gender-Neutral (AFAB) Reader, Porn With Plot, Depictions of Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Swearing, Domestic Fluff, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Rough Sex, Choking, Dom/Sub Dynamic, Caretaker Kink, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Clothed Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Forced Orgasms, Glove Kink, Cock Worship, Doctor/Patient Relationship

Summary: You and the Mandalorian have a very peculiar deal. He can come by anytime he needs a home-cooked meal, a bed to sleep in and a medic to patch up whatever mess he has gotten himself into. In exchange, you are allowed to request his help with anything you need, like home repairs or bringing back souvenirs from his travels. It's a rather peaceful exchange and neither of you ask too much of the other…until something happens that forces the desire brewing inside the both of you to finally boil over.

Word Count: 19.6k+ (this oneshot can be read in chapters on AO3)

A/N: Yay, another very long oneshot that has plot but is mostly shameless smut, also set in the middle of Book of Boba Fett!

This story is written with a gender-neutral (afab) reader in mind. I do mention certain afab body parts (like "clit") but I don't mention pronouns or use gendered terms (like "girl") so I hope my lovely non-binary people can enjoy the read too ♡

This isn't the first time the Mandalorian has crashed through your front door, stumbling in with his hand over some open wound. You are considering buying a rug just so you don't have to keep spending time scrubbing the blood out of your light wood floors. Note to self, next time you build a safe house, invest in darker wood…

You let out a quiet sigh before walking over to the metal operating bed he's laying on. You have a sterile corner in the house that's all metal, since it's easier to clean, where you tend to your patients. Though, as of late, the Mandalorian is taking up all of your time. That was the agreement, after all. Until he no longer needs your services, he's your exclusive client, the only one allowed to use your safe house in the wilderness of Naboo.

Why did you agree to such restrictive terms? Because he pays well for it. That's what you tell yourself but it's not the full truth. In actuality, he saved your life months ago and ever since then, you've grown to care about him. A lot more than you know you should care because he can terminate this relationship whenever he wants and you'd have to let him go.

You hate thinking about the day he finds somewhere else, someone else, and leaves you. But, you chose to accept this deal so you choke back any feelings about it, hiding them deep in your heart. They aren't real feelings anyways. You firmly believe it's just a crush you'll get over. How can you actually like a man you've never even seen before, other than his open wounds?

You shake away the thoughts as you carry your supplies over to the small metal tray beside him, sitting on your little stool with wheels that help you maneuver around. You slide down to his leg wound and examine it before asking, "what happened this time?"

"Sliced into my own leg." He tries to move but you stop him. You can't let him cause the wound to fester more.

"Again?" You shift your eyes to look up at him disapprovingly. "You said you'd be more careful."

The Mandalorian just shrugs his shoulders in response and you roll your eyes at him. You should've assumed this would happen again, since he hasn't been very good at using the Darksaber. At least you read up on how to treat these kinds of wounds in preparation, so you do a much better job patching him up this time around.

It's pretty late into the night when you're done bandaging his wound as securely as you can. You let out a breath of relief as you get up to peel your blood stained gloves off and wash your hands. Though, you're only going to get them dirty again in a bit when you have to mop your entryway.

"There's a change of clothes for you in the refresher." You tell him, gesturing over to the nearby door. "Do you need any help getting there?"

He sits up, touching the bandages with his gloved hand. Then, he lifts his head, facing his helmet towards you, and says, "I'll be fine."

"Alright then. I've got a floor to clean." You point back at the bloody mess he left for you. "So, I'll be up if you need me."

Thankfully, it isn't too much blood so you end up getting it all scrubbed out by the time he's limping towards you after showering and putting a new set of clothes on. He's carrying his beskar plates in his hands so you quickly do one last wipe of the floor before rushing up to him, taking them from him.

Before he can make one of his stubborn comments, you state firmly, "I won't argue with you over this. Go rest and let me handle this."

The Mandalorian is reluctant as always but he eventually can't keep standing in one place with his leg injury so he gives in and lets you take over. You lug his armor onto your dining table, setting it down piece by piece so you can wipe the blood off of them until they're nice and shiny again. Exhaustion is slowly setting into every fiber of your being and you try to stretch to keep yourself awake but you're reaching your limit as you throw the clothes he was wearing into the wash.

You need to keep it together. You need to stay useful to him, which means being able to work even when you're tired. You just need to stay awake long enough to hang the clothes from the wash so they can dry and you can go to sleep then.

It's only a few more minutes. You can do it, just stay awake…

You catch yourself before you fall asleep on your arms at the dining table. Then, you curse mentally to yourself when the Mandalorian goes, "you seem tired."

You look up to see that he's not asleep yet. "You seem tired too, so you should sleep."

"I'll sleep when you do." He says as he turns to look at the space next to him.

When he does stay over, you both share the only bed in the whole house. Why? Because he refuses to let you sleep on the little daybed you have, even though you've explained to him several times that the actual bed isn't your bed. It's mainly for patients so you usually do most of your sleeping on the daybed.

He doesn't like that fact at all. You don't know why he's so particular about it, but in your agreement, he made sure that you slept in bed with him whenever he was staying over. You really shouldn't have said yes to it. It's not good for your heart when you wake up to the sheets smelling like him after he has left.

You hear the alarm go off for the washer so you tell him, "I'll be there soon."

The Mandalorian gives you a slight nod of his helmet and you leave to get the clothes hung up to dry. Then, you wash up for the night and change into more comfortable clothes before making the trek back to the bed.

Again, note to self, get two beds, or better yet build two rooms, in case you end up with another patient as stubborn as the Mandalorian next time you build a safe house. It is definitely more convenient to have an open concept when you have to keep a watchful eye on patients and since they never stay for more than a day or two, you don't mind sharing the space for a bit. That isn't the case when he's here, but how else are you supposed to feel when you have to share a bed with a man that makes your heart race?

When you do get to bed, you settle yourself under the covers rather quickly, facing away from him. The sleeping arrangement goes like this: you stay under the covers and he stays over them. That way, he doesn't get blood on the sheets and you don't have to have a panic attack on the off chance he brushes up against you in the middle of the night. Plus, he normally sleeps partially sitting up, since he always wears the helmet.

Every time he's here, you offer the same thing. "I promise I won't look if you want to take the helmet off to rest. I'll keep my eyes in this direction."

The Mandalorian never takes your offer, which is understandable. There's no way for him to be sure that you won't accidentally catch a peek of him somehow. There's a lot you've had to adapt to in order to take care of him. You close all the windows and the curtains in your house so that no one can look in and see him while he's vulnerable. You eat at the kitchen bar, so you're faced away from the dining table when he's eating too. You cut around his clothes to tend to his wounds since you know he doesn't like to show any skin. You can't help him strip for the refresher for the same reason, and also because your heart would literally burst out of your chest.

Kind of like it does right now when you hear him say, "only if you let me hold you while we sleep."

You blink a few times, trying to comprehend if this is a dream or actually reality. It's hard to tell. "What did you just say?"

"I'll take the helmet off if I can hold you to make sure you won't flip around and look at me while we sleep." He elaborates and surprisingly, it makes sense.

If the Mandalorian kept his arms around you to hold you firmly against his chest, it would be unnatural for you to turn your head accidentally. You already promised not to look and he must trust that you won't but he has to ensure that he isn't taking any chances either.

However, will you survive the night in his arms? Suddenly, you're wide awake and all the tiredness you had felt earlier has washed away as your mind swirls at the thought of him spooning you. Yes, the Mandalorian would be technically spooning you. It would be completely platonic and more so just you helping a patient sleep so…

"Okay." You spell out your consent. "You can hold me if it'll help you rest better. Are you going to stay above the covers?"

"Do you want me to?" Why did he have to ask you that…

"The bleeding has stopped so you don't have to." You're really digging your own grave by giving him that option but you can't help yourself. The prospect of him holding you while sharing the same blanket is too tempting.

"Then it'll be easier if I'm under the covers too." He says in such a monotone that it really feels like this means nothing to him. Of course it doesn't. Why would it? He's only here to get treated and he'll leave once he has healed up like he always does.

They always leave you. If you aren't giving them what they need of you, then they leave. You're only worth as much as you put out and the moment you have nothing left to offer, why would anyone want to stay?

You take a deep breath, not wanting your terrible thoughts to bring tears to your eyes. It would be embarrassing if the Mandalorian caught you crying. You're a professional. You can't cry in front of a patient. That would be ridiculous.

So, you choke back your feelings like you always do while you wait for him to make his move. He does eventually, after waiting for a while. You guess it was to test to see if you would actually stay turned away, or maybe he was just waiting for you to fall asleep first. Your eyes are shut but you are most definitely not asleep when you hear him take off the helmet for the first time. He keeps it on the bed with him, so it's easy to grab in the off chance he has to throw it on.

Then, you feel the covers shift and he gets under them. It isn't the first time he has slept under the covers. He did during the colder season a few months ago, but he stayed sitting up so only his lower half was underneath. Now, he's fully beneath the blanket with you and you watch as his arms slip around your body, tugging you slightly towards him. You hold your breath when your back presses up against his chest, not wanting to react to how warm and comforting it feels to be held like this.

The only problem is…you have no fucking idea where to put your arms. He has one arm under your pillow with the other wrapped around your waist. You can't extend them or tuck them under your pillow without running the risk of brushing up against his arms. So, you decide to tuck your arms against your chest. It's definitely not comfortable but it's the best you can do in this situation.

That is, until you feel his hot breath against the exposed skin of your nape as he says, "I need you to hold my hands."

"What?" You are unsure if you heard him correctly. Did he just say–

"I need to make sure you won't move around." He clarifies his intent. "It'll be hard to sleep if you're fidgeting."

You didn't even realize you were fidgeting with your hands. It was completely unconscious so you understand that he needs to be able to sleep peacefully. "Sorry about that."

"There's nothing to apologize for." He moves his hands to grab a hold of yours before getting them back to where they were previously.

You don't know why you feel a bit surprised that he still has his gloves on. The Mandalorian wouldn't want to hold you with his bare hands, you should've assumed that.

"Do you always pretend to be asleep?" He asks you, letting you feel every word against your skin once again.

"I'm not pretending." You defend yourself, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "It's just been a while since I've been held like this so it's a bit of an adjustment. I'll be asleep soon, so you should focus on sleeping too."

"How long has it been?" His natural voice is oddly soothing, all low and deep and a bit sleepy. It almost makes you not realize the weight of what he's asking. The Mandalorian isn't one for small talk and yet he's curious about you.

"A long time." You tense up a bit at the thought of how lonely you've been but you have to try to shake it off because you know he can feel it when you get all stiff. "I've never been all that good at having lasting relationships."

"I don't think that's true." He tells you and you don't know how to react to his words. "We've known each other for a while now."

You stifle your laugh but you're sure he knew you laughed a little. "I don't think this relationship counts."

"Why not?" He sounds genuinely curious.

You shrug in response, though you can tell that isn't enough of an answer for him by the way he's holding you a bit firmer now. You don't know why, but the words slip out before you can stop them, "because our relationship ends the moment you don't need me anymore."

You turn your head more into your pillow then, so you can muffle any kind of sad sighs that threaten to slip from your lips. You chew on the inside of your mouth in hopes to not expose any more of yourself and your insecurities. He's just a patient. You have to remind yourself of that. He doesn't care about you. This is temporary. It always is and it always will be…

You decide to take control of the situation, not wanting to talk anymore, so you tell him, "I'm going to sleep now. Good night."

As per usual, he doesn't say it back and you don't expect him to. It's easier this way. He keeps his distance and you keep yours.

Even if you are falling asleep in his arms right now.

❈❈❈❈❈❈

You haven't seen him since that night. You didn’t even wake up until he was gone. A part of you thinks you made the whole thing up but you saw the blood stained gloves in your trash compartment so it had to have happened. Your sheets smelled like him too, which was another sign that it wasn't all a figment of your imagination.

As part of your deal with the Mandalorian, he helps you by bringing supplies you need replenished every three to four weeks since it's a hassle to get into the city and back when it's a two day trek for you. It's been about two weeks since you last saw him and you don't know if you're thankful or not. You keep thinking about how nice it felt to be held in his arms, even though you know you shouldn't be feeling this way. It wasn't for any reason other than to keep you from turning around. You're putting too much meaning into it. He has probably held a bunch of people just like that and yours is most likely the most meaningless of his interactions.

You wipe the tears that threaten to stream down your eyes. You don't know if you're more sensitive because you've been feeling sick all week but it's been hard for you to keep your emotions at bay. It must be a combination of everything that's making you feel a bit more vulnerable and a little lightheaded.

You'll blame your tears on the vegetables you're cutting. They always make you cry when you chop them. That's why you're tearing up, obviously. Not because of the Mandalorian.

Though, it's like you've summoned him with your thoughts because the moment you move the vegetables from the cutting board and into the stew you're making on the stove, he barges through your front door. You whip around, expecting to see him injured in some way, but he…isn't? You look him up and down, a bit confused at how completely okay he looks.

Then, he just says the word "rain" and you understand why he's here. He's just looking for a place to stay the night. He must be on a hunt in Naboo then.

"Did you want to shower before dinner then?" You mix around your stew a bit as you speak, "the food will be ready soon if you're hungry."

He doesn't answer you so you turn to face him again and are startled to see him right next to you. Then, he says, "you go shower and I'll watch over it until you're back."

You look down at your clothes and you realize how much of a mess you've made. You're not cautious enough when you're under the weather. It'll be weird being so dirty for dinner. "Alright, thanks. Just, um, stir it every now and then. Oh, and taste it while I'm away so you can tell me what to add to make it to your liking."

You nod your head at him then and rush to grab a change of clothes before getting into the refresher. You take a pretty quick shower, since you don’t want to keep him waiting by the stove too long.

When you're back from your shower, you see that he's…putting your supplies away? The Mandalorian didn't bring them in when he got here. You thought this wasn't a supply visit and he was just getting out of the rain.

"You don't have to do that." You walk up to him as he finishes putting the rest of your usual vegetables in the cold storage. "I've got the rest. Go sit and I'll bring food over for you."

His question catches you off guard. "Do you always do everything by yourself?"

You stumble a little bit in your step. You don't know how to answer that kind of blunt question other than honestly. "I guess so."

"Then, who takes care of you when you’re sick?" Again, another question that you're ill-prepared to answer.

How does he know you're sick? You gave yourself a good look in the mirror before and after you showered and you're certain you didn't show any physical signs of your sickness. You would barely even call this being sick. You're fine.

"I can take care of myself. Besides, I'm not that sick anyways. It's just a headache and some stomach cramps. They'll go away soon enough." You can't let the Mandalorian think you're not strong enough to take care of yourself or he won't trust you to take care of him and then he'll leave and you'll be alone again and you can't let him–

He cuts through your rambling thoughts by saying something that throws you for a loop, "stop doing that. I hate it when you pretend you aren't sick, or tired, or overworked. Why can't you just be honest and ask for help?"

You swallow nervously at his words. What does he mean? You don't have anyone to ask for help. You're alone. You've been alone. That's just how you've always lived. No one takes care of you besides yourself.

"The stew is going to boil over." You glance behind him at the pot on the stove, avoiding his question as you go to mix it around again before it spills out and makes a mess you'll have to clean up.

If only it was that easy to stop your own emotions from boiling over. You barely catch the tears before they start falling from your eyes and it only makes your headache worse and your stomach is doing flips because you're so fucking embarrassed that the Mandalorian saw right through you. And he hates it. There's no way he's going to stay now and you don't expect him to.

"Why are you crying?" He asks and you curse at yourself again. You thought you hid it well but you're starting to realize it's hard to hide things from him.

"I'm sorry." You say reflexively. "It's nothing. I cry a lot when I make this stew. The vegetables release a chemical that causes the eyes to tear up."

Maybe that’s why you made it today, so you had an excuse to cry other than your jumbled up emotions and your throbbing headache. Fuck, it hurts all over now. You feel so ashamed that you're acting like this in front of him. Where is the professional persona when you need it? You're too exhausted to put up an act.

"You need to go to bed." He tells you and you shift your eyes up to look at him. "Go, now."

"I told you, I'm fine–"

"Don't make me say it again." His voice is so stern that you jolt a little at his words.

You lower your head and immediately go over to the bed, sitting up against the headrest with the covers in your lap, since you can't bring yourself to lay down. You feel terrible that you're burdening him like this, making him worry about you. Though, is this worry or is he just annoyed at you? Maybe he doesn't like sick people. Not everyone can do what you do. It's hard watching people get hurt or fall ill. It's not like you're all that sick…you'll be fine. You're always fine. A week or two of a constant headache and an ache in your lower stomach is normal.

"When was the last time you've eaten?" He asks and you shrug in response. "That's a horrible answer."

You chew on your bottom lip before finally admitting, "I've eaten, just not a lot."

"What about water? Have you been drinking enough of it? From the look on your face, I'm assuming that's a no." He reads you like a book and you look straight down at your hands on your lap. The Mandalorian has never spoken to you like this before and it makes you nervous. He's really angry at you, isn't he?

"I'm sorry." You say again out of habit.

You hear him sigh and you can't bring yourself to look back up at him. You're thankful that you can’t see his face because you wouldn't know what you'd do if you saw him staring back at you with any form of hatred in his eyes. You really fucked up. Why couldn't you hide it better? You're a mess…

"There's nothing to apologize for." He sounds so close all of a sudden. "So, don't cry."

You watch as he sits down beside you in bed and he lifts your chin up so you're looking directly at his helmet. Then, you feel something damp and warm press up gently around your eyes and you realize he's wiping your face with a towel.

"I-I got it." You reach for the towel in his hands but he snatches your wrist before you can.

"No, you don't." His voice is stern again. "You're sick and you need to let me help you."

"There's no reason for you to help me." Your thoughts spill out and you blink back more tears. "You should just leave me be. I'll be fine. I don't want to burden you."

You put on the nicest smile you can muster, in hopes that he'll drop this. You can't let him take care of you. It'll just make it harder for you to let him go later if he shows you any kindness now. You have to keep your distance. The more you let him in, the harder it will hurt. You've made this same mistake before. It's not worth it…

"Why do you always do this?" He pulls the towel away from your face and you honestly miss the feeling already. His words cut through you like a sharp blade. "You always pretend that you're okay when you aren't. You never ask for help. You are constantly pushing yourself too much. Why won't you just take a break? Stop acting like you don't want to be taken care of and let me help you."

"That isn't how this works." You hate having to talk back but you must make him understand. "I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of you. This safe house is for you. That's what you pay me for. Why would I ever ask for help from a patient? That's not right. I'm the one helping you heal. I can't–I can’t be sick or else I'm not useful anymore. Then, you'll just find someone else better to go to."

The moment you say those words out loud, your heart sinks in your chest. Why did you say that? Now, he's going to think you’re truly incapable of doing anything when you're fueled by fear like this. You're too afraid to be left alone and you just admitted that. How fucking sad. Your headache has gotten worse and you're nauseated by your own emotions. Why couldn't you just keep it together…

"Is that really what you think?" The Mandalorian asks and you can't decipher what his tone of voice means. "Do you actually believe I'm going to leave you if you act human for once and not like some medical droid? You're allowed to get sick. You're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to rest and ask for help. I honestly wish you would ask for my help so that I had an excuse to stay."

"What are you saying?" You can't comprehend anything through your pounding headache. There's no way he just said… "Do you want to stay here with me?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The Mandalorian surprises you once again. "I thought I made my intentions pretty clear when we decided that you weren't going to see anyone else but me or when I told you to share a bed with me. I was sure that I gave myself away when I asked you to let me hold you while we slept. Now, I get why you never saw me as anything but a patient. You were so afraid of me leaving that you never once thought that I wanted to stay."

This can't be real. You have to be dreaming. You're going to wake up soon and this will all have been some kind of fever-induced dream. There's simply no way that the Mandalorian is saying what you think he's saying.

And yet, you somehow find the courage to ask, "do you want me to see you as more than just a patient?"

He places his gloved hand on yours, squeezing it gently as he answers, "I want you to see me as a man who wants to stay and make you feel better. Let me help you, like you've helped me."

You find yourself letting your fingers interlock with his, seeking out the comfort you've been craving. Then, you fight through your fears so that you can reply, "I can do that. I'm sorry if I'm…nervous about this. It's been a long time since anyone wanted to help me."

"You don't have to think about the past anymore. I'm here right now and that's all that matters." He tells you kindly before standing back up. "I'll get you a bowl of stew so you can take some medication and then I'll hold a heat pad against your stomach for you until you fall asleep. Does that sound good?"

You nod, smiling as you feel a warmth blooming in your heart. "That sounds really nice, thank you."

"Anytime." He moves his hand to pat your head gently. "Ask me if you want anything else."

"I will." You know it will take you a while to be truthful about what you want but you'll take small steps at a time if the Mandalorian is willing to be patient with you. It seems like he wants to be and that makes you feel so much better.

He brings you a tray with some stew, a glass of water and a little cup of pills. They're all the correct medications for your symptoms and you like that he remembers the things you've given him over the time you've tended to him. He really has been paying attention to you, hasn't he? The thought heats up your skin a little but you brush it off by eating. For the first time in a few days, food goes down easily. It must be because you're able to relax and not think about anything for a bit.

The Mandalorian is taking care of everything for you, from setting your empty dishes into the dishwasher to getting your heat pack warmed up to a good temperature. He peels off his armor plates then gets into bed beside you. You flip onto your side so that he can take off his helmet and spoon you. Soon enough, he does exactly what he said he would. He presses the heat pad against your lower stomach and you let out a sigh of relief. It feels so good and normally, you can't get it this hot because it torches your hand when you hold it but since he's wearing gloves, he can easily handle a bit more heat.

You feel his breath against the back of your neck just like the other night as he says quietly, "I like helping you feel good. Tell me if I'm in the right place."

"That's perfect." You put your hand on his, touching his now-warm glove from the heat pad. "This is almost too nice."

"Are you tired yet?" He brushes his lips lightly against your skin and you can't help but smile at the subtle touch.

"Not anymore." You say honestly. "I can't sleep. I want to enjoy this for as long as I can."

"Just close your eyes then and enjoy." The Mandalorian is trying to coax you into at least resting. You listen, letting your eyes droop shut.

You focus on the rise and fall of his chest against your back. You like the feeling of how tightly his arms are wrapped around you, keeping the heat pad on your stomach. Your cramps are slowly subsiding and your headache is practically gone. All you can think about is how much you want him to lean in and start kissing your neck so you can feel more of his soft lips.

"You're fidgeting." He calls you out for your tiny movements. "Do you need something from me?"

"It's nothing." You definitely can't tell him the kinds of thoughts that are running through your mind.

"I told you, if you want something, then ask." He leans in closer then. "I'll give you anything you want as long as you ask for it politely."

You really shouldn't do this but…you take a deep breath and ask, "will you kiss me a little? I like the feeling of your lips against my skin."

"You mean here?" He gently presses his lips against the nape of your neck and trails kisses along your shoulder. You hold yourself back from making too much noise in response to how nice it feels. But then, you feel one of his hands slip down your body as he says, "or do you want me to kiss somewhere else?"

You might actually go into a mild panic if he's suggesting what you think he's suggesting. "You can kiss me wherever."

"You shouldn't give me that kind of power." His words send shivers through you. "I might not be able to hold myself back."

You bite your lip, squirming just a bit. But, you don't stop yourself from saying, "you don't have to hold back. I trust you."

"Then, can I trust you not to lift the covers if I go down on you?" He sounds so sultry in your ear, his voice a bit more rough than usual. "I need you to be good and not peek while I make you feel good. Can you do that for me?"

You nod, though you know you have to be verbal so you tell him, "I'll keep my hand over my eyes the whole time, I promise."

"Good." He praises your obedience and you go absolutely crazy over it, your mind swirling. He's more demanding now that he knows you'll listen. "Keep your eyes shut for me and lay on your back."

You put your hand over your eyes while squeezing them shut before laying onto your back. The Mandalorian takes your other hand and places it on the heat pad, so you're keeping it there since he's no longer holding onto it. You hear him shift beneath the covers and you gasp when you feel his hands at your hips, grabbing the waistband of your pants. You lift your hips up to let him pull them off of you, along with your underwear. You're thankful it's nighttime and obviously dark under the covers because you wouldn't be able to bear how shy you'd get that he's right up against you like this.

"I can't tell you how much I've wanted to do this." You can feel every word he says right against your inner thighs. "I've dreamed of it. The way you taste. The way you sound when you come. I have to hold myself back or I'll be here all night, learning how to make you go crazy with my tongue."

How can he say these kinds of words like that? His voice is all too enticing with how low and slow he breathes out every word. You want to let him do what he wants so you tell him, "I said I trust you, so you don't have to stop until you've had your fill. I'll say something if I want you to stop."

"Promise me you won't regret that." He feels much closer to you now.

"I won't regret any of this. I'm already feeling so good and you haven't even done anything yet." You grip onto the heat pad, the anticipation killing you as you can feel how wet you're getting with him just hovering near you like this. You can't handle waiting anymore so you plead, "please make me come."

"I'll make you come as much as you want, so focus on feeling good for me." That's all he has to say before you finally feel his tongue on you. He definitely knows how wet you've gotten from his words. The Mandalorian hums in approval, enjoying the way you taste.

You can't breathe. The air keeps getting sucked out of your lungs with every subtle movement of his tongue. Your light, airy moans fill the room as he starts to tease you, tracing circles around your clit at a slow pace. Every now and then, he leans in and wraps his lips around it, sucking enough to pull soft whimpers out of you. You're so close but you hold yourself at the edge for a moment, wanting to savor the feeling of him.

Then, when you're ready, you let your orgasm wash over you, drowning in the pleasure he has given you. He licks all of it up and you can feel him smile against you. You bet he has a beautiful smile. You wish you could kiss him and feel him smile against your lips, but that would be asking too much so you focus back on his tongue building you up to your next orgasm.

Every wave of pleasure gets better and better and at a certain point, you're mumbling things to him in your daze. You can't recall your exact words but you're pretty sure you told him how good he makes you feel, how much you like that he wants to take care of you, how you hope he'll actually stay with you. You pretty much said everything you'd normally be too shy to because you're in a dreamlike state. Eventually, you drift into a tranquil slumber after coming so much. Despite your sleepiness, you can still make out the feeling of him kissing every inch of your exposed skin before cleaning you up and putting your pants back on. He shifts you back onto your side and spoons you again. You feel the familiar warmth of your heat pad and you realize he has reheated it so he can hold it against you as you sleep. How sweet of him.

Now, all you hope for is that you'll wake up in his arms…not just tomorrow, but every time he comes by.

❈❈❈❈❈❈

You half-expected this to be a one time thing. Why? Because the idea that it would be happening as frequently as it has been is…incomprehensible. Actually, it is more than that. It's fucking unbelievable, the way the Mandalorian not only stayed more than that one night and held you while you both slept, but he also went down on you every night he was here.

You've been falling asleep to the intense over-stimulation of him between your legs and honestly, how are you ever supposed to learn to sleep without it now? It's already been over a week since he had to leave to hunt his quarry, which means he might not be back for a while.

Now, you're expecting too much of him. There’s no telling that he'll keep his word and come back…but you have hope that he will. You have way too much hope whenever you remember how he felt under the covers.

It's going to take you a while to recover from those few days. You were all flustered around him because you couldn't believe what's been going on. You shared meals together, albeit with you still turned away but he lets you sit next to him now. He took you on rides in the starfighter and out to the capital city Theed to shop and explore. He helped you with repairs on the house and even found a rug that blood can wash out of easily, though the merchant was a bit freaked out when he asked about that. You laughed so much with him and the time you've spent has been everything to you.

There's still the uncomfortable feeling of loss that creeps into your mind every now and then. It's funny how the moment you feel happy, it feels like the world wants to give you reasons to feel bad again. The voices in your head are trying to dissuade you. They breathe out lies and from those lies manifest worries and from those worries fester doubt. You wish it wasn't like that, but it is when there's so much uncertainty.

Especially when the man you are infatuated with is a bounty hunter. The thought that he might never come back not by his own choice, but because he has sustained an injury you aren't there to help with or if he was killed by his quarry…you shake off the chills that run through your body when these thoughts come to mind. What can you do about this? Nothing really. You don't have any say nor would you ever say anything of the sort. It isn't your place.

You don't really know what your place in the Mandalorian's life is. You'd rather not think about it because it would spoil the nice moments you are having if you feel the desperate need for more. You only take what he's willing to give. You don't try to push for more, even if there are other desires that flood your mind when he's making you come.

You would give anything to have him let you do the same, but you know that’s literally impossible. He won't even let you see his hands. There's no way he would ever let you–

Almost like clockwork, the Mandalorian stumbles through your doorway, bleeding all over your new rug. Your eyes widen at the sight because…he's about to collapse.

You rush to his side in a panic, slamming the door behind him as you catch his body before he drops to the ground. He's bleeding more than a normal person should be but that's probably because he has several open blaster wounds.

He tries to say something but you shut him up immediately. "Don't waste your energy. Let me handle this, please. I need to focus." You have to get him in the bath. You have enough bacta to fill it and it will completely submerge his body. That's the only way he's going to heal up properly after you clean all his injuries.

"Hey, stay with me." You tell him, shaking him so he stays awake as you guide him onto the operating bed. "Listen carefully. I'm going to clean you up and then I'm going to help you into the bath. I'll have my eyes closed the whole time with the lights off. It'll be completely dark and I'll sit in there with you until everything's sealed up. I promise, I won't look so please let me help you."

After a moment of hesitation, the Mandalorian breathes out in a strained huff, "okay."

That's all he has to say for you to start working at lightning speed. You peel off all of his beskar and drop the pieces onto the floor as gently but as quickly as you can to get them out of the way. Then, you grab your shears and start snipping away at his clothes wherever there's blood. You give him a bacta shot to relieve the pain momentarily so you start treating the wounds.

It's disgusting. There's blood everywhere, though only some of it is his. Most of it is you getting more blood into him via transfusion and then realizing that some of his wounds haven't properly sealed up yet so you have to reseal them before they start fucking spewing blood. His clothes are soaked in sweat from the pain and you have to keep your composure, but you feel yourself wavering. However, every so often, the Mandalorian whispers sweet things to you like "you're doing great," "keep going," "I feel better already" and those are what help you push through.

It takes a while to get the bleeding to stop but when it does, you breathe out a sigh of relief because he's stable and he's going to be alright. He's going to be stuck soaking in bacta for a while but he'll heal up just fine. "I'm going to get everything prepped so just stay awake for me, okay?"

"Okay." He says after a few frighteningly long seconds.

You go into the bathroom and fill your tub with bacta. It's thick and slimy and fucking heavy. You really wish you had a tank that you could just pump this stuff directly into but that would require the use of lights and other tech you can't have right now so this makeshift soak will have to do. Once it's filled enough, you put everything you will need in the bathroom to stay in there for what might be days…

Then, you go back out to help the Mandalorian into the bathroom, shutting the door and enclosing you both in complete darkness. You help him over to a chair and start stripping him, which he allows. You save his helmet for after you get him into the bath and out of courtesy, you drape several big towels over the tub, so in the off chance the lights accidentally turn on, you won't catch a glimpse of him.

"I'm going to take your helmet off now." You have your hands on the beskar, trying not to tremble too much with anxiety. "My eyes are closed and they'll stay that way until you're feeling well enough to get out on your own. Okay?"

"Okay." His voice is strained as he says that but you know it's all he can muster right now so you'll take it.

You wait a couple of seconds before pulling his helmet off and setting it on a small table you've brought in beside the tub that holds the IV keeping him hydrated. You pull up your stool and drag yourself to the back of the tub so you can wipe his face with a cold towel. It's obvious he's been sweating buckets underneath his helmet. He must have been uncomfortable so you try to soothe him with your words.

"You're okay now. You're safe. You're going to heal up great." You whisper as you pat every inch of his face until it's cool to the touch.

You take the time to wash his hair, massaging his head, hoping that'll distract him from any other aching pains he must have. When his hair is dry, you go to drape a warm towel over his face so he can rest but he stops you the moment he feels it. "Wait."

"Do you need something?" You pull the towel away, scooting closer to him with your stool.

You hear him take a deep breath, like he needs all the air he can get to tell you, "we might not get another chance for a while so will you kiss me?"

It's as if your heart fell out of your chest and then found its way back. The Mandalorian…he's asking you to kiss him. Something you've wanted to do all this time. It's the easiest decision you'll ever have to make. You lean down towards him, finding his lips with yours, and answer, "get better soon and I'll do more than just kiss you."

Then, you press your lips against his for the first time. The same lips you've felt kiss your skin before. They taste like blood because you know he was biting them to stop from making any sound at the agony he was in earlier, but you don’t mind it. You don't care because you get to kiss him. It's a light kiss and you pull away quicker than you'd like to but he needs to rest now.

"I'll be right here if you need me." You caress his face, feeling his stubble between your fingers as you guide yourself to kiss his forehead and his cheeks. "I'm not going anywhere."

You lay the warm towel over his face after that, helping it sink into the dips of his face. He lets out a gentle sigh of relief and you are happy to hear it. You make your way over to your little makeshift bed, which is just a pillow and a blanket on the bathroom floor, and you wrap a thin shirt you found laying around over your eyes, just in case. It's hard to sleep but it gets easier when you can hear his light sleeping sounds echoing through the bathroom walls.

This goes on for days. Sadly, you have to wake him from his slumber every few hours to give him medication, much to his dismay. He always wakes up in a panic, since he's helmetless and naked. You have to assure him that it's pitchblack and you can't see a thing. He feels better once he's more awake and realizes he actually can't see a thing so there's no way you can either.

It's around the fourth day that he feels decent enough to stand on his own so you help him out of the bath and into the refresher to wash up. You try your absolute hardest not to touch him too much. You reason that you don't want to accidentally graze one of his wounds but the truth is, you need to keep yourself from remembering that he's a rather well built man with surprisingly soft skin.

The Mandalorian is able to get dressed on his own so you give him back his helmet, which he seems grateful to have on again. You made sure to clean it as thoroughly as you could in the dark. It's crazy to think you haven't seen any light in four days. You thank your lucky stars that it's nighttime when you guide him out of the bathroom, so your eyes don't take too long to readjust to the small amount of moonlight shining into your house.

You get him tucked into bed and since he's able to eat again, you cook up something that tastes terrible but only because you have to pack as many vitamin supplements in it as you can while he has an appetite. Even so, he still says, "it's not bad," which makes you laugh.

"Let's hope you haven't developed a taste for this stuff because I'd rather not stock more than necessary." You say with your head turned away from him. You're sitting on the other side of the bed, eating a bowl of crunchy kernels in batha milk.

"Do you mind sharing some?" You see his glove tap the side of your bowl and you chuckle, handing it to him. "Thanks. That other stuff tastes pretty fucking bad."

"I can get you something else to wash it down too." You know he got you some random fruit juices from his travels that you have yet to consume.

"This is fine." He says in between crunches, sounding a lot like his healthy self again.

You wait for him to finish eating so you can clean up before bed. You wonder how you'll be sleeping. He can't spoon you this time, not with his injuries. You doubt after days of not being covered up that he'll be comfortable pulling the helmet off if he wasn't certain you wouldn't be able to see him.

So, you propose a solution. "I'll sleep with the covers over me and when you have the helmet back on after you've woken up, you can move them off me to let me know. Does that work?"

"Not a bad idea." He doesn't dislike it. "But I want you close to me."

"That's risky." You're worried you'll bump into him in his sleep and hurt him somehow.

"I don't care what the risks are." The Mandalorian's stern tone fills your ears. "You're sleeping right here next to me."

He pulls your pillow so that it's resting beside his chest beneath the covers. You'd be so close to him that you could roll over and snuggle against him. Not that you would do that when he is recovering, but you could.

"Let's go to sleep." He urges you to listen to him so you comply, dipping under the covers and laying on the pillow he has settled beside him. You hear him take off his helmet and set it on the covers above, almost like a weight. That's a smart way of signaling if you're moving too much and might catch a glimpse of him.

"Good night." You say as you lean in a little closer to him, breathing in the scent of freshly washed clothes.

You feel his gloved hand rest at the top of your head, patting you gently, before he tells you for the first time, "good night."

It is definitely a good night because you know he's healing and you get to spoil yourself with his warmth again. Hopefully you'll get the chance to kiss him again soon…and possibly do more.

❈❈❈❈❈❈

Much to your surprise, you get the opportunity to help him feel good a lot earlier than you originally thought because you wake up to your hand resting against something very hard. The covers aren't over your head anymore so you look up and the Mandalorian has his helmet back on, shifting down to see you staring at him. If he's been awake this whole time, why didn't he move your hand away…

You don't know where you find the confidence but you trace your fingers along the length of his cock, feeling the way it's outlined under the fabric of his pants. He snatches your wrist immediately after, making your lips curve into a smile. With your sleepy morning voice, you say to him, "was I not supposed to do that?"

"You're playing with fire." Those are the words he chooses to say.

"That's not a no. It feels like you need my help." You sneak your other hand down, grazing him lightly again. This time, he doesn't grab your wrist.

Instead, he slips his hand into your hair, brushing it away from your face before telling you, "if you're willing, then hurry up and go down on me."

You grin happily in response, letting his hand guide you back under the covers by your hair and drag you between his legs. You're happy to be able to return the favor, especially since he can't see you. You can really enjoy yourself now without feeling embarrassed about looking too excited.

The only sad thing is it's dark under the covers so you don't actually get to see how nice his cock must be when you pull it out of his pants. You'll have to live with just knowing how it feels so you take your time, stroking up and down his length with your hand, trying to memorize every inch of it.

Then, you hear him speak in his natural voice, so the helmet must be off. "You're taking too long."

"Are you eager or impatient?" You ask the moment you lean in, letting him feel your breath against his cock before you press soft kisses along it.

"I thought you were shy." He sounds surprised that you're teasing him right now.

"I am shy but I've been wanting to do this for a very long time." You answer him before you swirl your tongue around the tip, drawing a sigh out from his lips. "So, let me savor this moment, please."

"Fine." He grips your hair tighter as you lick up from the base of his cock to the tip, repeating this motion until you've felt all of him with your tongue. Then, you do it all over again, enjoying the feeling of him on your tongue. You hear him let out a low growl, almost in frustration, before telling you, "now I'm getting impatient."

"Tell me what you want then." You smirk to yourself, giddy that he isn't able to catch how much fun you're having. "I'll give you anything you want as long as you ask for it politely."

He pulls you by the hair towards his cock right then, the irritation apparent in his voice, "are you using my own words against me?"

"You're wasting precious time bickering with me." You finish your sentence with another swirl of your tongue over the tip. "Don't you want to come in my mouth?"

The Mandalorian grinds his teeth, hard enough that you can hear it. Then, after a moment of thinking it through, he gives in and asks, "will you hurry up and put your mouth around my cock so I can come?"

"Only if you let me do it more than once." You can't resist the prospect of going down on him back to back. "It's only fair, right?"

"Do you want to go down on me for that long?" Is that a challenge he's suggesting?

"If you'd let me, I'd spend all day right here." It would be a good way of getting him to stay in bed.

"Fuck." He curses under his breath and you know he wants it by the way he's gripping your hair. "Once I'm healed up, you're not leaving this bed until I've fucked you every possible way."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" You can't believe he's offering something so tantalizing.

"It's both. So, get to work and make me come for as long as you can handle staying put." He definitely doesn't have to tell you twice.

If the Mandalorian is going to let you stay right here and suck his cock all day long, how could you possibly say no to that? You don't let him wait any longer, sinking your mouth downwards until you feel him hit the back of your throat. You hum at the way he fits so well in your mouth, which he must like a lot because he tightens his grip in your hair again.

Slowly, you find a pace that brings out quiet grunts from him. He throbs in your mouth and you like the feeling when it's deep down your throat. You can already tell you're liking this a little too much, but you don’t hold back regardless.

The first time you make him come, he whispers your name like it's a breath of fresh air. You can tell he's been pent up for quite some time given how much he came in your mouth. You swallow every bit, refusing to waste a drop of it. Then, you tug off his pants a bit more so you can kiss his lower stomach and the top of his thighs. Your hands slip underneath his shirt to caress more of his body, using the excuse of checking in on his wounds. Everything seems to be evening out so he probably won't scar too badly.

When he's hard again, you decide to tease him with your tongue and mouth at an agonizingly slow pace, keeping him at the very edge until he just couldn't take it anymore and started fucking your mouth. He finishes deep down your throat once he's had his fill using you to get himself off. He's breathless this time, inhaling slow, shallow breaths after his orgasm.

"I want to watch you this time." He tells you the moment he has enough air in his lungs. "Will you keep your eyes closed?"

Now, that's a risk. He doesn't sound like he's putting the helmet back on either. If you slip up, you could completely fuck everything up. So, you do the only thing you can think of. "Pull the pillowcase off of a pillow and give it to me."

The Mandalorian listens to your request and hands it to you under the covers. You makeshift a blindfold and tie it tightly around your eyes. Thankfully, you have dark sheets for a reason and it conceals your vision. Then, he lifts the covers off of you and suddenly, his request changes. "Take your pants off and straddle my lap right now."

You obey without question, leaving yourself in just your underwear as you swing your legs over him. You decide to hover, so you don't press down accidentally on any wounds. You're sure he can see how wet you've gotten through your underwear and you confirm this thought when his fingers reach forward to trace a line up the center. You strangely like the way the leather feels. It's rougher and provides more texture to feel through the thin fabric barrier. Your breaths grow heavier with each subtle touch and you desperately want to beg him to let you ride his cock or his fingers but he's supposed to be resting right now…

He must notice the way you're aching to be touched because he says in a commanding tone, "rub yourself against my cock and let me watch you make yourself come. I won't move, so I'll be fine."

You've never done anything like that before. He's really going to let you use him to get off? Why does that make your heart pound so much? Probably because you're imagining the visual he's going to see and it's so hot. The desperation consuming you forces you to toss all reason aside and you rip your own underwear off, throwing the fabric away somewhere.

"Someone's eager." There's a playfulness in his voice and you're almost certain he's smirking.

"Focus on getting better soon so we can fuck already." You snap back at him, a little too needy to feel him buried deep inside of you.

For today, you'll settle for taking his cock in your hand and guiding it up against you, teasing yourself with how hot and hard he is beneath you. The temptation to push him inside of you is palpable in the way you rub the tip near your entrance, letting him feel how wet and ready you are for him. Then, you hold his cock steady as you start to grind against it. With every movement, he teases your clit and you can't hold in how good it makes you feel. You've been just as pent up and in need of a release.

You feel his gloved hands settle at your thighs, wanting to participate somehow so he simply holds onto you as you give him quite the show. He's twitching against you so you know he's enjoying the way this feels as well. He gets to see the way his cock slides up against you, gliding along how slick you are.

When you feel your orgasm approaching, you grab a hold of his hands, squeezing them in yours to steady yourself. The wave of pleasure hits you with such an intensity that you're thankful he's there to anchor you. Every inch of your body writhes in response to how hard you just came and you can barely keep yourself up anymore. It feels like there's not enough air in the room to fill your lungs but you don’t care because you're high out of your mind over how good it felt.

"If you came that hard grinding on my cock, just imagine how it'll feel when I'm finally inside of you." He just has to speak so seductively right now, making your mind swirl with stars.

You say the words before you can really think it through. "I want you so badly."

"Me too. Soon." He breathes out like it's a promise he doesn't dare to break.

You nod in response, slowing your heavy breaths so you can find your way back to reality. Then, you ask, feeling his still-hard cock between your fingertips, "can I go back down on you?"

"Only if you'll let me do the same." His words don't register right away but when you realize what he means, your skin lights up like every nerve in your body is flaring all of a sudden.

"You should rest." You don't say no but is he really in a condition to do that?

"How am I supposed to rest when you're dripping wet and I haven't had a taste yet?" His tone is filled to the brim with desire. "Just let me until I come again, then we'll both rest for the day."

The rational part of your brain is screaming for you not to let him so the Mandalorian is forced to rest but you just came so how can you possibly say no to having another orgasm while his cock is in your mouth? It's impossible.

So, you flip around and he tugs you towards his face. You're starting to like the feeling of leather against your skin, especially when he clings onto your flesh so roughly. You use your hands to guide yourself down his body until you find his cock again and you get into a comfortable position.

The moment your mouth is back on him, his mouth leans up against you and your toes curl when you feel his tongue take a long lick, tasting the way you just came. You can taste yourself on his cock so you know exactly what he's experiencing right now and it's dizzying how sensual this whole experience is. You're feeling good at the same time as you're making him feel good. There's nothing more that you could ever ask for.

"Are you holding back?" He says after his tongue flicks your clit lightly.

You pull yourself off his cock, taking in sharp inhales before answering, "I want to come with you."

"You shouldn't have told me that." His voice gets all low and threatening, sending shivers through you in the best kind of way. "Now I'm going to make it very difficult for you to keep edging yourself."

And, he sticks true to his word. He starts solely focusing on your clit, giving you way too much stimulation. Your legs are going weak but his arms hold you firmly so you can't topple over from the way he's trying to force an orgasm out of you. You're trying your hardest to keep it together, to focus on making him come, but you're going absolutely crazy. He knows all too well how to get you fired up after spending several nights going down on you.

You can't stand it anymore so you move your mouth off of him, replacing it with your hand as you grip him tightly and start stroking at the same fast pace he's using on your clit. Your movements make him groan against you, so he pulls away from you to say, "you must be desperate if you're death-gripping me like that."

He doesn't waste time after telling you that, going right back to torturing you with his tongue. It takes you a while to formulate a sentence through your sighs of pleasure but eventually, you're able to respond, "please come already. I want to come with you. I won't last much longer, please."

You don't know how many times you say the word please but you're practically begging at a certain point for him to come because you're going to burst any second now. Your hand focuses on stroking him to the best of your abilities but you're reaching your breaking point. You're going to come. It's inevitable and you wouldn't want it any other way. You like being pushed to the very brink until you can't help but completely let go.

The kind of pleasure that erupts through you when you finally feel him release in your hand is indescribable. You've never had such an explosive orgasm before but it ripples through you and takes control of every single one of your senses. Somehow, you manage to find your way back to his cock, aimlessly licking up every bit of his release in your euphoric daze. The Mandalorian does the same to you, spending a little extra time just idling against you with his tongue as he revels in his own orgasm.

You are in definite need of a cold shower but you don’t have the strength to get up so you simply roll over to the side, shifting your body until your head is by the pillows again. You make sure to face away from him as he resituates himself into his pants. Then, you feel his arm slip under you and pull you towards him. Your back is pressed up against the side of his chest so he is still laying on his back, but he can keep you close this way. You opt to keep the makeshift blindfold on, since you don’t want to take any risks.

After sharing quiet bouts of heavy breathing, the Mandalorian speaks up, breaking the silence, "so, how long until I'm fully healed?"

You think about it for a moment and answer, "I would say two weeks before you can safely do any vigorous physical activity."

"Are you seriously going to make me wait two weeks to fuck you?" Somehow, he sounds so sexually frustrated even though he just came three times.

You chuckle to yourself before saying, "let's check back in a week then and hope for the best."

"That's better." He sneaks his hand down to rest on your inner thigh as he breathes out in that low, seductive tone of his, "in the meantime, I'll settle for doing what we just did."

You roll your eyes then realize he can't see it through the blindfold so you verbally note, "you realize that's only going to slow down your recovery, right?"

"We are not having this discussion. It's non-negotiable." His stern tone peeks back out and you smile to yourself over how much you're growing to like his naturally overpowering voice.

"Promise me you won't regret that." You tease him with your words and he groans.

"I will never regret making you come." He states it like that's the truest fact in all the galaxies.

"Good." You snuggle up against his arm.

You really hope his recovery doesn't end up stalling because you're as impatient as he is when it comes to finally going all the way…

❈❈❈❈❈❈

It's definitely difficult getting used to feeling so good so often. You tried to convince the Mandalorian that you're perfectly happy just being beside him while he recovers but he refused, stating that since he has already experienced what it's like to give you pleasure, there's no stopping him now.

A part of you thinks he's being purposefully aggressive with his affection since it's the easiest way to show you that he means what he's saying. You're not great at catching the subtle signs as he has come to learn, so he chooses to be upfront about his desires for you. You can't say you don't feel wonderfully spoiled by it.

He has been asking you incessantly if he's finally cleared to have his way with you yet and every single time, you've had to tell him no, which he is starting to dislike very much. That's probably why each time you do have to decline, he makes you sit on his face and won't let you leave until you came so much that you can't hold yourself up anymore. It's not like he couldn't fuck you now but you know he's going to push himself to his limits so you will just have to suffer through what his definition of a punishment is. His favorite form of torture is forcing you to come until you have to beg him to let you get at least some work done for the day.

It's obvious that he's a bit stir crazy since the most physical activities you'll let him do are going on walks with you in the forest and light chores around the house. Though, you keep telling him the latter is unnecessary but you've learned that when he has decided to do something, he's hard set on it. You're slowly allowing yourself to accept his help but you wish you didn't have this ache in your heart where you're reluctant to be too dependent on him.

You already feel yourself slipping up at times in your own mind. You're getting too used to sleeping next to him, especially when you said he could start laying on his side again. He holds you so tenderly while you sleep, whispering sweet little praises to you like "you fit perfectly in my arms" and "you take care of me so well" in his sultry, yet sleepy voice.

It's all too nice and it fills you with both warmth and concern. You hate how doubtful your mind can be and it manifests in the way you want to stay as close as you can get to him whenever you can. Whether it's brushing your shoulder against his when you're on your strolls together through the forest or lingering a bit longer when you apply ointment to his wounds to touch him more, you can see the way you're subconsciously holding onto him but you can't seem to utter a single word about it.

You want to tell him how you feel, but you can't quite figure out what to say. You've told him certain things while you were high off your orgasms but you don’t know if those hold any weight since you're mumbling them while your inhibitions are low. He must know by now that you value his presence in your life and that you'd like it if he wanted to keep seeing you.

Spending these last two weeks with him being rather domestic makes you crave a sort of established permanence. These lazy days will be over soon and you know exactly when. It all ends when you tell him he can do what he's been wanting to this whole time. The moment you sleep with him, the Mandalorian will be healthy enough to leave you once again and…

You have no right to tell him not to go when he's done with you. It may even be a one time thing, though you are hoping with every ounce of your heart and soul that it won't be. You want him more than you can put into words. Not just physically, but in a deeper, emotional kind of way.

It isn't love, not yet. But, you want it to be. You want the chance to love him in the future if you both are on that same path together. You just can't justify this want.

You sigh to yourself as you pull the dried clothes off the wires you've hung outside. It's warmer now and the rain has stopped momentarily so you've decided to let your clothes hang dry outside versus inside. The sun always does a better job anyways.

"Why the long face?" A sudden voice startles you and you jolt in surprise, nearly dropping the basket filled with clean clothes onto the floor but the Mandalorian catches it in time. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

He doesn't let you take the basket back from him and holds it securely in his arms. You look at him up and down. The last few days, you've given him the go ahead to wear his armor again. He seems a lot happier, more complete like this. Though, he looks funny carrying a basket full of clean clothes instead of holding a blaster.

"It's okay, it was my fault. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. Definitely a bad habit when I live alone in the woods." You rub the back of your neck anxiously.

That's one of the things you have to work on. You're too relaxed on Naboo. It's peaceful here and you don't ever have visitors besides the Mandalorian since you built this house. All your patients are aware that you have an exclusive agreement so you've designated them to other people for care. Until your agreement is up with the Mandalorian, he really is the only one who should come by here.

"It is a bad habit." He tells you with a shrug of his shoulders. "But it isn’t something you have to worry about. You're safe here and if anyone ever troubles you, I would be there to help you."

"Would you?" You don't know why you ask it so…openly doubtful. You're stuck in your head again and it leaked into your words.

"Do you think I wouldn't be?" He must have caught onto the way your worries are showing on your face.

"How would you know if I needed help?" You ask since you only ever comm him if he's forgotten something at the house or if you need additional supplies.

The Mandalorian sets down the basket then and you're confused by his actions. However, everything is explained rather quickly when he reaches into one of his small pockets and pulls out a chain that looks like it's made out of the same beskar he's wearing, with a ring dangling on it.

You blink at it a few times, not believing the sight in front of you. Especially not when he's walking up to you and putting it around your neck. With a small clasping sound, the necklace lays gently on you and it sits perfectly. It doesn't snag and it feels cool on your skin. You reach up to touch it, feeling the ring between your fingers that the chain is holding.

Then, in a gentle tone of voice, the Mandalorian breathes out into the warm air, "when you're ready, you can take the ring off and wear it. Until then, keep it around your neck like this and push the button on it whenever you need me. It connects right to my helmet, so no matter where I am, I can always be there for you in a moment's notice. I promise."

You grip the ring in your palm and there is a small button on it. You don't press it but you run your finger along it, like you're surprised it's real. You're wearing something he gave you. Why would he…

"Ready for what?" You think back to what he just said. When will you be ready to wear the ring?

He steps up closer, putting his hand on the top of your head, patting it lightly before he answers in that stern but sweet voice of his, "whenever you're ready to be mine forever."

For just this moment, it feels like everything has gone still as you realize what he's saying to you. This can't be real…but it is.

"Are you being serious?" You have to ask. He needs to tell you that this is what he wants too.

"I've known that I've wanted this–that I've wanted you for a while now, so I had this made and I've been waiting for a good moment to give it to you." He moves his hand from your head to your face, caressing your cheek as he continues, "I know you've been in your head about me leaving after I've healed up so this is the perfect time for me to tell you that I'm not going anywhere. This is my home now, if you'll let me share it with you."

Home. That's what he said. This safe house is his home. Your heart is leaping out of your chest. You never had to worry, did you? He was already planning this for who knows how long and you would've never guessed it. You were so scared of losing him but all of that fear washes away immediately when you touch the chain around your neck. It's tangible now. There's nothing left for you to question. He wants this place, your place, to be home.

You blink away happy tears so you can tell him, "it wouldn't be home without you so please share it with me."

"I would be happy to." His words make you smile and sob at the same time and you can't contain your emotions anymore.

You start crying but only because your body needs to have some sort of outlet for how overwhelmed with happiness you are and you feel his gloved hands cup your face, wiping your tears away as they fall. Your eyes are squeezed shut, trying to stop too many tears from spilling out. Then, you feel his hand cover your eyes and you don't know what to make of the gesture.

Not until you feel his lips on yours and the rim of his helmet on the tip of your nose. He has one hand covering your eyes and the other holding his helmet up just enough to reveal his lips so he can kiss you. You want to reach up and touch his face and pull him in and be close with him but you refrain, not wanting to overstep. You settle for putting your hands on his shoulders, feeling the beskar beneath your fingers as you kiss him back.

After what feels like both an eternity and barely a second, he parts his lips from yours and says, "please tell me I can finally have you."

You already said no this morning and narrowly avoided your usual punishment by doing laundry but now that he's asking you while you can feel his lips brushing against yours, it's hard to say no…

"You can't do it again for at least a week." That's the best compromise you can come up with.

"But I can today?" Every one of his words tickles your lips.

"Yes." You finally give in, needing him as much as he needs you.

"Then, let's make it count." He presses one last kiss onto your lips before shifting his helmet back on. Then, he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, which is not the greatest start to his post-recovery. He almost carries you back into the house when you remember–

"Wait, our laundry!" You wriggle in his hold, trying to break free before the storm clouds that are filling the sky ruin your work for today.

"Fuck." He groans in irritation, dropping you to your feet. "No more stalling after this."

"Yes, sir." You say jokingly before you run back to grab the basket.

You hurry back to his side and he walks you back into the house, shutting the door behind him. You set the basket down on the dining table and tell yourself that you'll fold everything later.

Though, you don't know when later is going to be when you feel the Mandalorian pressed up behind you. You shift your eyes up to look at him as his hands move to sit firmly at your hips.

"I'm trying my hardest right now not to bend you over this table and fuck you right here." He always says such provocative things when he's aroused.

"I mean, you could." You assume that's probably the best way since you wouldn't be able to see him as long as you're not looking back at him.

"Is that really how you'd want me to take you for the first time?" The Mandalorian shouldn't ask you these things. You're not the best influence when it comes down to it. You want him so much that you'd let him do it however he'd like.

"How would you want to do it?" You decide to reflect his question back at him.

"There's too many ways I could fuck you and I want to do all of them." His hands slip under the waistband of your pants. The leather of his gloves tickles your skin way too much and you hold in your breath as he rests them at the top of your thighs. "Should I tell you how I want today to go?"

You nod, then confirm verbally, "yes, tell me."

Using one hand, he nudges you until your legs are spread enough for his other hand to rest between your legs. You squirm a little from the feeling of his fingers pressing up against your underwear.

Then, he starts to speak at the same time as his fingers begin rubbing your clit through the fabric, "first, I'd make you come just like this from telling you exactly how I want to fuck you."

Your heart pounds in your ears at his words and you have to put your hands on the table to steady yourself. If you aren't careful, your legs might give out from how roughly he's trying to coax an orgasm out of you without touching you directly. You bite your lip to stop yourself from whimpering but small, soft ones still spill out.

He slows his touch the moment he speaks up again, so you're focused on his voice and not his fingers, "after you've came once, I'll need to have a taste. I'd make you keep your eyes closed so I could go down on you right here. You'll need to come a lot for me to give me something to look forward to in a bit. Tell me you will."

You love when he brings out that demanding tone of his so you comply through a heavy breath, "I will."

"Are you ready for me to tell you more?" He asks you to distract you from his fingers sliding beneath your underwear, brushing against you directly now. You tense up as you get used to the leather dragging along how wet you are but then you lean into him, wanting much more than just these subtle touches. "You look like you like the way my gloves feel."

"I do." Your words are as light as the air because your mind is going fuzzy from how good it feels. The words fall out without a second thought to them, "you can do more than just touch me with them."

"Are you aching for something inside of you?" His fingers find your entrance and your breath catches in your throat when two of them push in, but only a little bit. "You know what you have to do if you want it."

"Ask politely?" You need to make sure.

"That's right." His palm shifts to press up against your clit, making your eyes roll back at the sensation. The leather is so smooth but there's a firmness to it that applies the right amount of pressure and texture to cause little jolts of pleasure through you.

You take a few sharp inhales before composing yourself enough to ask as politely as you can, "will you fill me up with your fingers, please?"

"Of course." He tells you, thrusting his fingers inside of you without any other warning. You choke back a shocked gasp at how full you feel all of a sudden. "Was that too much? Should I pull out?"

"No, please don't." You manage to get out through staggered breaths. "It's just…new, but it feels good."

It's unlike anything you've felt before. The seams of his gloves rub along the inside of you, teasing the spots that always get you to come too quickly. He tests if you're being honest by pulling his fingers out just a bit before pushing them back in and you moan when he curls them in just the right place. You grit your teeth when he finds a good pace to thrust them into you. You can already feel the tension building up inside of you and you don't know how much longer you can edge yourself. He hasn't even finished telling you his entire plan yet.

"You're so tight around me." The Mandalorian sounds frustrated as he says, "I'm getting jealous of my glove now. Can I touch you directly?"

"You mean…" Is he going to take it off?

"I'll take it off if you keep your eyes looking up at me." He uses his other hand to tilt your chin up to look at him, resting it around your neck. You shouldn’t like the way he's lightly gripping your throat but you do and he can tell. "Do you want me to keep my hand here so I make sure you don't look?"

You nod and he shifts his helmet, nodding back at you. He pulls his fingers out of you then and you can't stop yourself from whimpering at the loss. He caresses your face then, as if to comfort you.

"It won't be long until I'm back inside of you." He reassures you. Then, you hear him put his hand into his pocket, presumably to keep his glove somewhere close by.

When you do feel his fingers again, it's him. You've never seen his hands before and yet it seems like you'll have to get used to being touched by parts of him you'll never see. That doesn't sound too bad, especially not when it feels this good to have his calloused fingers trace along your skin. He must know you want to savor the moment so he takes his time touching you with his bare hand.

All the while, his other hand remains firmly gripped around your neck while his index finger and his thumb hold your chin upwards. You wouldn't look down no matter what but it feels more thrilling that he's keeping you in place like this. The contrast between his gloved hand on your throat and his bare hand between your legs is all too arousing.

You want to participate a little so you muster the strength to ask, "can I touch your hands, please?"

The Mandalorian waits for a moment and then nods his helmet, allowing you to slide one hand up to lay on top of his glove while slipping the other hand down to feel the back of his bare hand against your palm. You close your eyes then, slowly guiding him towards your entrance and he understands what to do, thrusting his fingers back inside of you while you hold onto his hand. You feel every movement and it draws pleasurable sighs out of you. His bare fingers are obviously nothing like the leather. Somehow, they're rougher in texture and have much more flexibility, so he curls them even more perfectly inside of you now.

Unconsciously, you squeeze your hand that's over his gloved one, which signals for him to give your throat a light squeeze as well. You open your eyes again and look right up at him, wondering what he sees when he looks down at you.

He answers your thoughts for you, saying with a ruggedness in his tone, "you look incredible, like you were made to be fucked by me, like you're mine and I'm in control of your pleasure."

"You are in control." You've submitted to him completely a long time ago. "And, I am yours."

"You must be. You're wearing my hand like it's the necklace I gave you." He tugs at the chain around your throat, choking you slightly with it. "Do you like being mine?"

"Yes." You don't even need to think to respond to that.

"Look at that face, staring up at me." His palm goes back to rubbing your clit as his fingers pick up speed, fucking you so ruthlessly, your legs might cave in. "If only you could see the way I'm claiming you right now."

"Should I invest in a mirror?" Your words bring out a growl from deep inside of him, like you've dragged out a desire he never thought of before.

"Next time, there will be a next time." He is firm on it. "But, for right now, I need to focus on this time. Will you last until I'm done telling you how it'll go?"

"I'll try." You admit truthfully. You could come right now but you're keeping yourself at the edge for him.

"I like when you're honest." He praises you before continuing what he has been wanting to say, "I can't wait to taste you after I've made you come with my fingers. Then, I'm going to finally bury my cock deep inside of you."

The Mandalorian drives his fingers further into you as he says that, making your toes curl. You're sure he's smiling at the way you're unraveling from his actions. You don't need to see it. You just know he's having a good time owning you like this.

He stops moving his fingers for a moment, just letting you feel the way you're clinging to him. "Are you imagining how it'll feel when my cock replaces my fingers?"

"I don't need to. I'll feel it soon enough." You grin happily at him when you say that.

"I like that. I like when you're the eager one." He starts to curl his fingers again, sliding them in and out, increasing the pacing as his words increase in intensity, "I'm going to take my time figuring out exactly how you like to be fucked until you can't stop coming on my cock, until you're begging me to come so that you can have a break from the endless orgasms I want to give you. But that break won't last long, will it?"

You shake your head and he grabs your neck tighter in approval. Your hips begin to sway, grinding against his hand as your hand pushes his palm onto your clit, urging him to rub those circles that make your heart race.

You're going to come soon and he knows it, so he picks his next words carefully, "are you going to let me fuck you as much as I want today?"

"Only for today." You say back, trying to be strict about it. "Then a one week break."

He sounds frustrated again, trying to convince you otherwise. "Three days."

"One week." You don't let him sway you. "Doctor's orders."

"Fine." He complies eventually. "But you listen to my orders in the bedroom."

"Deal." You lean up and kiss his helmet right where his lips would be. "Now, will you please let me come? I can barely hold it in anymore."

"You're good at asking for what you want." He compliments you and you smile in response.

"I'm good at listening to my Mandalorian." You don't mind being obedient if it results in this much pleasure.

"You are very good at that too." He pulls at your neck, so your eyes are staring right up at him again before he says, "now, listen carefully. I'm going to let you come and then I'm going to rip your fucking pants off and go down on you, so you need to close your eyes when I do, understood? Say yes sir if you do."

"Sounds like someone liked what I said earlier." You tease him and he tightens his grip on your neck in response, making you gasp at the light choking.

"Maybe I just like you." He says rather sweetly to you.

"I like you too." You tell him back with all of your heart.

"Then, will you do what I said?" He's waiting for confirmation.

"Yes, sir." You let out those words as sensually as you can and he obviously liked it because he's pressing his body closer to you. You feel his chest plate against your back more clearly and you can feel how hard he is through his pants.

"You're such a good listener." His tone is so provocative when he goes, "now let me see you come all over both of our hands."

You hold onto the hand he has between your legs, following his movements as he finally lets you off the edge. You keep your head tilted up but you aren't able to look at him because your eyes roll back the moment your orgasm forcefully shoots through you in such an intense rush of euphoria. The intensity is furthered by his hand gripping your throat just enough to make every moan that leaves your lips come out all breathless. He prolongs your orgasm by keeping his fingers inside of you until you're able to open your eyes again fully.

It doesn't take long for him after that to get your pants off, in quite the rush to go down on you. The Mandalorian pushes your upper body against the table and you shut your eyes then, knowing what happens next. He waits a few moments, both admiring you and ensuring that you're going to stick true to your word. When he's sure of it, you hear him take off his helmet and set it beside you on the table.

Hearing him speak seductively in his natural, unmodulated voice sends an indescribable kind of pleasure through you and it's only amplified when he's talking about you. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met and seeing you like this is just…I'll never find the right words to describe how much you turn me on."

You hear his armor clash onto your wood floors as he kneels down behind you, taking a good look at how wet you've gotten for him, spreading you open with his hands. You notice that he still has one hand gloved while the other is bare and you like that duality a bit too much. It provides something to think about as he grips your hips with his hands, pressing his fingers into you hard enough to leave an indent. He wants to make sure you're not going to wriggle your way out of his reach, though why would you ever do such a thing? You want him to go down on you as much as he wants to do it too. That mutual interest fills you with such joy.

When his tongue eventually finds its way against you, your body shivers in response, as if it remembers all too well the things his tongue can do to you. It's true though, he's almost too good at making you come like this. You clamp your hand over your mouth, not wanting to make too much noise as he enjoys every bit of you.

"You're so ready for me." His hot breath tickles your skin. He takes a moment to drag his tongue up and down the center of you for just a moment longer before saying, "I've never wanted to fuck someone so badly before."

"Then what are you waiting for?" You don't know why those words come out of your mouth.

"I like when you're impatient." He smiles close enough to you that you can feel it. "Plus, it'll feel better if you come one more time for me."

There's something so sweet about the way he's subtly trying to prepare you to take his cock. It isn't like you wouldn't be able to handle it but you do like that he wants you to be aroused enough for it. He really cares about you in his own wonderful way.

You happily agree to him staying between your legs so he focuses all of his attention onto giving you a slow, full-body orgasm that rolls through you almost too nicely. There's nothing rough or intense about it. It's just soft, pillowy pleasure that relaxes your every muscle, like a loving embrace. It's the kind of orgasm that he'd give you to coax you into falling asleep.

The Mandalorian must be proud of himself because he drags his bare hand against you so he can feel how slick you've gotten for him. "I could really do this all day. I love making you come."

As much as you wouldn't mind letting him do that, you are in desperate need of something more, so you tell him, "then let me come on your cock, please."

"I can't resist a request like that." He gives you one last lick before you hear him stand up again.

There is not a better sound than the Mandalorian unbuckling his belt and pulling his cock out of his pants. There is not a better feeling than him lining his cock right up against your entrance.

The anticipation is killing you and you want to beg him to just take you already but you stop yourself because you want him to savor this moment for himself as well. He does so by getting his cock nice and slick from your wetness, rubbing your clit with each movement. Once he's satisfied, he moves his cock back to your entrance. He presses into you but stops with only his tip inside.

"If you want more, you have to ask for it." He demands as his hands grip your ass and you quiver at the contrasting feeling of them against your skin.

You don't hold back anymore. "I want you to feel all of you, please."

"You really are good at begging." He tells you as if it's both an insult and a compliment and you don't know which you like more.

You don't have time to think it over because he starts slowly sinking his cock into you. You feel every inch as he goes deeper and deeper until his hips meet his hands that are holding onto your ass. When he's fully inside of you, you feel like you could pass out from the way he's filling you up entirely. You knew the size he'd be because you've had him in your mouth before but it's nothing compared to having him inside of you like this.

"How does it feel?" He asks, his bare hand sliding beneath the fabric of your shirt to rub your back, comforting you. "Is it too much too soon? I can stop at any time."

"It's perfect." You assert, your desires spilling out. "Don't stop. I want to feel more of you so will you please fuck me already?"

That's all you need to say to get the Mandalorian to finally give in. You cling onto the table as he starts pounding into you, trying to see what pace you like the most. You honestly like them all. You like the slow, long strokes that let you relish every inch of him sliding in and out of you. You like the quick, almost brutal thrusts that hit a spot so deep inside of you that you can’t help but scream from how good it feels. You like the in-between, where he is maintaining his own composure, not wanting the moment to end too soon because he got ahead of himself.

At a certain point, the Mandalorian discovers the perfect sequence that draws an orgasm out of you almost every time. He'll start slow, allowing the tension to build within you. Then, when you're nearing the edge, he'll pick up the pace until he's practically fucking you into the table and you come uncontrollably on his cock because your body can't handle the sheer force of him ramming his cock inside of you. He does this over and over again until you see nothing but stars in your squeezed shut eyes. Your mind is too far gone at this point from the constant pleasure.

The Mandalorian has to bring you back, so you hear him put his helmet on again, which surprises you. Almost as much as him scooping you upwards until you're standing just like you were earlier, only this time with his cock buried deep inside of you. His gloved hand moves up once again to settle itself at your neck, tilting your chin up so you're looking right at his helmet. His bare hand then slips downwards, resting between your legs with his fingertips brushing along your clit.

Then, he says in an almost too tantalizing tone, "I want to see what you look like when I come inside of you."

"Please do." You breathe out, wanting exactly that. "I'm safe."

"I want to do it again after this." He's gauging your interest.

"Can we do it in bed this time?" You ask, hopefully sounding polite as you do. "I promise I won't look. I just want to feel you on top of me, please."

Even through the modulator, you can hear his heavy breaths, like he's close to his limit, especially after you just said that. "Okay."

You smile when he agrees to your request. Then, you find the gall to ask one more thing, "grab my neck a little tighter when you come so I know who I belong to."

Your words bring out that low growl of his and he replies, "I'll make sure you're well aware of who you belong to."

"Good." You reach up then, touching his helmet, holding onto the beskar lightly as he focuses back on fucking you at this angle. He fills you up in a whole new way while you're both standing like this and you know that you'll need to lay down after because your legs are practically shaking with each thrust of his cock.

"Are you close again?" His hand starts rubbing your clit when he asks that, bringing you right there where he needs you.

"Very close." You can feel the way your body is just clenching all around, waiting to burst.

"Me too." He tells you and you believe it after hearing his low grunts. "Come with me."

You do so naturally. The moment his hand tightens its grip around your throat and he finishes deep inside of you, filling you up to the brim, you come immediately from the combination of sensations writhing through every fiber of your being.

In your daze, you don't realize that he has pulled out of you and guided you carefully over to the bed with his hand over your eyes. You lay down on your back with his help, trying to relearn how to breathe after getting fucked out of your mind. Your hand goes to replace his so he can pull off his armor to get comfortable for bed.

It isn't until you feel him move your hand just enough to tie a piece of fabric around your eyes that you feel safe enough to relax a little. You're thankful it's pretty secure on your face and you can't see a thing. You can only feel the Mandalorian pulling you into his arms before his lips crash against yours.

You're so stunned to be kissing him that it takes you quite some time to start kissing him back. He doesn't seem to mind the wait because he smiles against your lips when you do finally meet his lips halfway.

"I never thought I could like kissing someone so much." He utters those words like it's some sort of confession and it makes you chuckle.

"You can kiss me whenever you'd like to." You give him your permission there. "Just try not to accidentally smack me with your helmet. That shit is heavy and it hurts."

"That was one time." He groans at the way you're referencing back to the few times he has kissed you during his recovery, one of which his helmet slipped back on midway and hit you right in the face like a headbutt.

"One time too many." You tease him, taking his face in your hands, wanting to touch him. "But I forgive you."

"I'm sure you have. How could you hold a grudge when I make you feel this good?" If only the Mandalorian could see the way you're rolling your eyes at him.

Though, you have to ask, "did it feel good for you?"

You feel his bare hand slide between your legs again with his fingers resting at your entrance as he answers, "do I need to remind you how much I came inside of you just now?"

"That's not really an answer." You point out and he responds with a light chuckle, pulling away so he can wrap his arms around your waist, bringing you closer to him.

"It felt amazing." He reassures you with his kind words. "You always make me feel good."

"I hope so." You lean into his chest, breathing in deeply. When you exhale, you let out a little bit of what you've been keeping in, "I'm sorry if I get irrationally worried sometimes about our relationship. I'm working on it, I promise."

"It's okay to be worried." He presses a kiss onto your forehead, making your heart flutter. "It just means you care a lot, enough to want to keep this relationship of ours going strong."

He's right. Deep down, most of your worries are rooted in care. You care so much about him that you worry over the little things, even if there's nothing to worry about. It puts you at ease knowing that he's going to be patient with you.

"I do care a lot." You snuggle closer to him and say, "I'm glad I met you."

"Me too." He pats you on the head gently. Then, he goes, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure." You nudge him to ask away.

"Why don't you ever call me by my name?" That's quite the loaded question…

It's true. Even in your head, you call him "The Mandalorian". You know exactly why you do it. It's to keep a distance. If you called him by his name, then you would feel too close to him. Back before you knew how he felt about you, you wouldn't dare to do anything that would make you feel close to him. But now? Maybe you should start trying to let him in a little.

So, you explain, "I thought that if I never used your name, then I could stop myself from wanting to be close to you. Let's just say, it didn't work."

He stifles a laugh. "That's cute."

"Don't make fun of me." You pout, mad that he can't see the way you're glaring in his direction.

"I won't if you start calling me by my name." He leans in close enough for you to feel his warm breath on your cheek as he demands, "say it."

"Din." You say his name for the first time to him. "Din Djarin."

"That wasn't so hard, right?" His words are meant to be a distraction, which you've come to realize he does a lot, because his bare hand finds its way back between your legs. "Now, say my name when you come."

You grip onto his shoulders, holding onto the fabric of his shirt to keep yourself steady the moment his fingers thrust inside of you, filling you up once again. It's nothing like his cock, but they curl in that spot that makes your mind swirl and his name rolls off your lips, "Din."

"I want to hear it more." He suddenly shifts you from your side to your back, getting on top of you. His fingers slide out of you so that he can press his hard cock against you once again. "Ask me directly if you want me."

You ache for him, the need to have him inside of you again boiling over when you say, "I want you, Din. Please come inside of me again."

"Now you know who you really belong to. Your Mandalorian, Din Djarin. Repeat it back to me." He orders you to do so in such a commanding tone.

"I belong to you. My Mandalorian, Din Djarin." You believe the words that spill out from your lips. You're his. You have been since you met him and you'll always be. That, you know for certain.

Din then thrusts his entire length inside of you without hesitation, filling you right up, pushing against that spot deep inside that is desperate for him. His voice gets all low and sultry, "doesn't it feel good to be mine?"

"So good." You grab a hold of his face, feeling his stubble against your fingers, smiling. "Will you please kiss me while you fuck me?"

"Gladly." He says before his lips press against yours and his hips start to move.

You slip your hands into his hair, liking the way it feels, knowing that you get to feel it right now. You're definitely being spoiled and you love every second of Din giving you more parts of him to dream about. His tongue finds its way into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You're left hoping that you're breathing enough between kisses but when he begins to pick up pace with his thrusts, you are practically gasping for air every time you moan against his lips. You're getting more lightheaded but that only amplifies the pleasure that you're experiencing.

You want more of him so you stop caring about seeming needy and plead, "please fuck me harder, faster, rougher. Make it count, Din. Remember, we can't fuck for a week after this."

"Three days." He tries again to convince you to lower the time. "You know you don't want to hold back that long either."

"A week and then we can fuck everyday after if you want." You stand firm on your timeline and he curses.

"Fuck, fine, but I'm holding you to your word. In a week, you don't get to leave this bed until I'm through with you." He threatens you with a very good time in the future.

But, this is the present, and you need him right now. So, you decide the best thing to say is, "make me regret having you wait a week to fuck me again. Show me what I'll be missing out on."

That sure does flip a switch in Din. Though, maybe that's just because he actually thinks he'll convince you to lower his recovery time if he shows you a good time right now. You aren't going to waver, but he doesn’t need to know that. All he needs to know is that he has to fuck you until you're an absolute mess for him.

So, he does it the best way he knows he can, by forcing you to come as many times as it takes for you to beg him to finally let you break free. Din studies the way your body reacts to certain strokes and speeds, noting every time you tighten around him, looking for that sweet spot. When he has it in his grasp, you don't last long.

You're coming all too hard, all too much, all too many times on his cock and you're surprised he hasn't came yet. He must be holding back for the sake of stirring you up until you've gone insane. You already have lost your mind. How could you not when you've had more orgasms than you thought were consecutively possible?

"Please, Din." You beg for mercy. "I can't stop coming."

"I love how you say that like it's a bad thing." He is way too happy about how he's turning you into a puddle beneath him. "Keep coming for me. I want you to drown in the pleasure I can give you."

You've riled up a mad man. Din is holding you hostage with your own orgasms and it's more amazing than you could ever truly explain. You're going to be so fucking sore tomorrow but it doesn't matter. You'll be reminded of how good you felt today and that's what matters.

You honestly don't know how long you and Din go on for. You know he had to have came at least a few times throughout, but you can't even register when those were. He just kept going and going, like his stamina was endless. That's just what happens when you let a stir crazy man finally do vigorous physical activity. You get fucked for hours.

You're sure he could have gone on longer if you didn't force him to stop completely so you could get his wounds dressed with ointment since it was time to sleep. You both took turns in the refresher, though you spent most of your time there trying to stand up straight. Eventually, Din helped you wash up and guided you back to bed. You opted to keep the piece of fabric around your eyes so that you could lay against his chest. You've been wanting to sleep on him like this.

Din rubs circles around your back, filling you with such a rush of comfort from his subtle touches. Then, he takes a moment to praise you, "you did very well today. I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did, not that I'm complaining."

"I could say the same to you." You reply, chuckling when you think of how crazy the earlier events of today were. "Though, I hope every time isn't going to be as wild as this one."

"No promises." He says back with a light pat on your head. "It's hard for me to not want to smother you in pleasure."

"Well, consider me thoroughly smothered for the next week." You'll need at least the week to recover.

"I still think you'll cave in three days and let me fuck you again." Din sounds rather confident about that. "I can't imagine having to wait a whole week to do this again."

"You, sir, need to learn to have patience." You tease him, jabbing him a little in the shoulder.

"If you call me sir one more time, I'm fucking you again right now." He needs to learn a better threat.

"I didn't know you liked it so much." You grin at him. You're going to have a lot of fun discovering what turns him on.

"I like it when you're obedient, unlike right now." He fakes as if he's disapproving of your current behavior but you know he secretly likes it that you're being a brat.

"Someone likes power." You lean up, brushing your lips against his, wanting him to feel every word you say, "I'm looking forward to seeing you exert your power over me in a week."

Din groans, irritated that you keep reminding him. "You're going to regret making me wait that long."

"I look forward to it." You tell him before a yawn flows through you. You're very much ready to sleep now, which is why you say sweetly, "good night, Din."

"Good night." He leans in to kiss you one last time before you both fall asleep, snuggled right up against one another.

As you drift off into a well-deserved slumber, all you can think about is how excited you are to be waking up tomorrow next to Din…and how excited you are for a week to pass so he can ravage you again.

You really wouldn't have it any other way.

Send me an ask/reply/reblog if you enjoyed the read! ❈

I definitely left this oneshot open to a continuation in the future so maybe I'll return to this plot one day if I'm feeling it!

If you enjoyed this and want to read more of my work, be sure to check out my other oneshot, I’ll Take Care of You and/or my series, What Color Am I?

#the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x you #the mandalorian fanfiction

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ssnowflowers · 8 months

Text

I think I want to talk about why Ranchers is so significant (to me, at least). In some part, it's because Ranchers are this idea of being needed.

The way Ranchers become a duo is through Double Life and I think it's important to add a little context. Throughout the life series, Jimmy and Tango are used, manipulated and dispensed of when they aren't useful.

In Third Life, Scott strings Jimmy along. He's a trophy husband, in a sense. Scott is the one who does the majority of the building. He makes a home for the two of them. Scott is the one who gets to control the trajectory of their relationship, their major alliances. It is very clear that the Crastle and the Desert are primarily Scott's endeavors. Scott needs Jimmy to not be alone.

It's also worth noting that a lot of players give Jimmy a lot of flak in this season. He's picked on for not being as good as a player and seen as a weak target. Even little peaceful comments. Martyn says that "My red could beat your red". While it is a silly and off-handed comment, it goes to show the attitude players have. Martyn is confident that Ren could kill Jimmy, that Jimmy couldn't protect Scott. Ren agrees with this obviously. Scott doesn't even say a word in Jimmy's defense. Even his husband doesn't see Jimmy as strong.

Jimmy doesn't really get a choice. In a way, no one gets a choice in Third Life. They're all strung along by other people and Jimmy is a good representation of this.

Tango also suffers from this problem. Tango is used as needed and discarded. It's an interesting detail that Tango makes his home in the swamp, away from the other players. It's not for a lack of trying. In the start, Tango is part of the village people. He has an alliance with the Crastle. But people just use him as a warm body to be disposed of.

The firing squad is the primary example of this. Bdubs and Cleo want to kill Etho, so they decide to make up some arbitrary infraction that Tango has broken, steal one of his lives just so they can get at Etho. Then Tango is sent off without so much as an apology.

Tango deals with this a lot throughout the season. He is brought in when he is needed for fighting, or to be used as a meat shield.

Last Life is really when this problem of "need" is exemplified.

Jimmy is part of the Southlands. To be honest, the Southlands is a mess and Jimmy is the one who deals with it the worst. Jimmy's main job is to dispense spyglasses. When they are needed, Jimmy is to give them. And the rest of the group doesn't even care. They don't even try to keep their spyglasses safe. They just toss them away.

There is only a few instances where Jimmy looks out for his own self interest. When he tries so desperately to get a life, after having spent the whole series without any handouts, the South immediately turn on him, try to kill him and then exile him. He is left alone and nearly rejected by his own alliance. The other time, which is the boogeyman, he is left on red and not respected by the other reds.

Grian literally tells him and Lizzie that the other reds are going to kill them. Because they're not as strong. And the sad part is that he is right in both cases. Jimmy tries to get a kill and is turned on, killed while he is barely trying to fight back. Because he's an easy target and not respected. He's not needed for the reds, for anyone. So he just dies.

Tango gets it far worse. BEST is perhaps the worst alliance to record in the life series and Tango suffers as the safety net. He starts off with a lot of lives, and is treated as a life dispenser.

He even makes comment on this multiple times, but every just treats it like he is joking. Because his feelings don't matter. Literally, he gives a life to Scar because "Etho would protect him too". But that isn't proven at any point in the series. It's just assumed that he should do it.

When Bdubs is killed by Mumbo, he gives a life to him because he has to. Because otherwise BEST would kick him out. Effectively, Bdubs get a second life when he betrays and kills Tango. The anger is clearly communicated, with his screen literally glowing bright red. But the kill is brushed off, no one punishes Bdubs in anyway for point blank betraying the alliance.

And BEST expects him to forgive Bdubs. That's not even a joke, they literally force him to apologize to Bdubs so that Tango can stick with his alliance. He is only needed for his lives, to die for the cause of BEST. He is the one who takes TNT in Martyn's boogey kill.

So the common element is that Jimmy and Tango are given purpose by others, as they are needed. And everyone just accepts this.

This is what makes Ranchers in Double Life so important. Because they are Soulbound at the time they most need someone to lean on. But it's not as insidious. This time it's a mutual trust for one another.

They don't blame each other for deaths. When they build, they build together. All of their fights are taken with the both of them there and it is never anyone's fault. The only thing they need is each other to support them. And for once, they finally get that need fulfilled. They aren't just used and discarded.

It also makes the other instances of Ranchers so perfect. During the crossover between Empires and Hermitcraft, they come as they need each other. Jimmy needing someone who sees him as more than just a toy, and Tango needing real connection after spending so long in Decked out.

And they both get that! Again, they mutually need each other and provide that in a trusting and loving way. Even as everyone else judges them, tries to separate them.

The Ranchers are there when they are needed, nothing less. And I think that's beautiful, especially when you consider that both have been treated only as tools.

#ranchers #i just wrote a whole essay #snow speaks #long post

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prettycottonmouthlamia · 2 years

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I'm feeling in a mood to continue talking about my experiences as a JW, at least in part so I can TRY to get people to seriously take this religion as a cult that should be rejected whenever possible, but also because being a cult changes your worldview on a lot of things.

JWs treated media as inherently corruptive. There wasn't a concept that you could enjoy media that had anything to do with ideas or themes that disagreed with JW values. (As an aside, but an important aside, let's also be cognizant of the fact there was a tremendous amount of hypocrisy here. I got chastised for liking Pokemon and reading strategy guides on Final Fantasy 7 while the Witness family who took me in for my sophomore year of high school felt it was perfectly fine to watch Star Wars or Aladdin. It was absolutely present.) If you enjoyed something with magic in it, it was because Satan was trying to trick you to leave the truth because God didn't want you practicing magic. Any nudity or sex? The work of Satan and Satan's world. For Witnesses, it was important to have ideological purity and this extended to the media you consumed. A common metaphor used for this was the idea of cutting away a rotten chunk out of an apple, the rotten chunk representing corruptive media you weren't supposed to consume in your media habits. They warned against trying to cut it too close, against trying to play chicken with the rot. Better to just be safe about it.

It's important to note here that the idea being said wasn't, "If you watch one thing with magic in it, suddenly Satan is going to have you performing witchcraft." The idea was that unchecked media consumption, media consumption where you weren't getting rid of perceived bad influences, would eventually and inevitably take you away from God's path. It was ultimately a plot, and there was no safe way to engage with media that wasn't approvable. Now JWs never published a list of unacceptable media, because that makes you look looney and JWs are all about having good PR, but it wasn't hard to define their stances.

Now I realized pretty quickly this was a very stupid way of looking at the world, and an incredibly paranoid one. There was a distrust of any major trend in the world, because the thinking was that Satan was somehow behind it. Ultimately, it provided an east scapegoat for why I left the religion too: my grandparents assumed that it must have been because I didn't want to give up any of my video games, which as a statement, is incredibly insulting. It was an attempt to make my actions appear childish and discredit any intellectual position I took.

The position I realized was that there was no media that would immediately make you a worse person, and that often even a baseline of critical consumption could keep you from being influenced by the media you watched. I wasn't living a life of sex, drugs, and rock and roll because I saw it on TV. I wasn't murdering people because I watched horror movies. I wasn't suddenly believing anything from a fantasy movie or a video game was possible. Trust me, if I could magic my way into my ideal body I would, but no one has responded.

Questioning those religious views helped me to realize I needed to challenge what my views were for media period. Are there certain kinds of media that are more likely to affect a person? (For example, comedy.) What does that influence even look like? So much of being in social media spaces is just...a reminder of how those Christian ideas permeate the space. We're not immutable to media, but media also isn't corruptive. We can be changed, but often aren't and we can work to enjoy things without taking bad ideas, We're smarter and more discerning than we realize.

And if any magical being is reading this, PLEASE return my ca-

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strawbqby · 2 months

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Greetings I love your blog theme!

Anyways, I'm aligned with RQ beliefs but due to complications about the community I don't consider myself RQ directly. Since I get a lot of questions already when explaining RQ stuff I'll just share the main points I end up talking about.

So starting off with TransIDs, the reason I support them is pretty simple; You can't control a lot of things and that often includes insecurities, desires, and even how you visualize yourself... And you should be allowed to put a word to that feeling!

The two main issues people have with transIDs tend to be... 1) The use of the prefix Trans is offensive/transphobic, 2) The idea that identifying with marginalized groups or similar when you are not "cis" something is offensive, such as being able bodied + transabled.

For the first, I already support having a word to put to the feeling, why don't I support changing it? Because that would create a cycle and there would always be a new "issue" with the new prefix. And trans is not a bad prefix (and is also not owned by transgender people, never has been). I also tend not to think of transness as just "transitioning" but rather a general line or connection from one identity to another. That line can stand for anything, including transition, but can also just stand for a desire or dysphoria.

And of course, the idea that trans means to transition is transmedicalist/transphobic.

So with that there's of course more complex opinions I have on what transition is appropriate, who can be in "safe spaces," etc... But thats the basics of my support of TransIDs (note my main reason for supporting labelling like this is to build a community that can understand and support, but others may find it important for other reasons)

And of course, paraphilias... This one's even simpler. Nobody really decides what they're attracted to. If they could, everyone would take the easy route that wouldn't get them treated poorly. And I will also always hate the "keep it to yourself" rhetoric regarding attraction and fantasy; we are a social species, its completely illogical and heartless to demand people not talk about such. Additionally... Discussing fantasy doesn't mean intent to act. And thats all under the assumption you don't literally act on an attraction; MAPs should be able to discuss their feelings with one another without being assumed as child predators... Yk, so only actual predators get labelled that way... And not just people who have an attraction they didn't choose who don't have/choose the option of repression, isolation, or silence.

I hope this makes at least a little sense! I am willing to clarify if it doesn't.

🦈 Love to hear that you love the aesthetics!! 🫧 I'd like to let you know that I read to the best of my ability seeing as how I have trouble understanding long texts, I apologize. So! Just a little question! Does the RQC consider themselves (for example) transautistic because they feel like they should have the disability?? As a disabled person, I find that a bit controversial and slightly harmful. But of course, that's a personal opinion and I'm still very willing to listen! Get back to me when you can! 💙 Remember that life is like an ocean, it goes up and down. 🪼

#rqc🌈🍓#questions #actually autistic #fishgirl #rq community #radqueer

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jaiyiee · 3 months

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FORBIDDEN LOVE 1821

Continuation

Suddenly, i met Zach, he was masculine , handsome and hot also cheerful and attractive. Also, a son of General Governor the highest official here in the Philippines in the time of Spanish period. It was 5pm in the afternoon. I was in a wooden bench enjoying the good looking paradise in front of me, just kidding hahahaha....

"Hi, gorgeous what is your name? es como si te acabara de ver. Are you new residence here?" Dios mio guapo. I'm so confused what if i'm just assuming, sere amable. Dios mio, que sea mic solo el. I said quetly, but then i see his brown gorgeous eyes waiting my answer.

"a mi?" I said with curiosity, you know, perhaps im just assuming; he was just insame asking himself.

"Hay alquien mos con quien estoy hablando aqui?" Asked the guy in front of me. Mi amor, why are you like that me econocione por un momento. It is not coincidence that i met this handsome boy perhaps God allowed this to happened. In this chaotic world, i thought that destiny would be cruel in me but i'm thankful that God allowed this to happened look how coquette my mind. I have a huge problem if i tell him that im from the present he would judge me and think that im insane. God what would i do now?

"Oh, sorry. Yes, i am new here, actually i grew up in Europe. Mi Madre was a Filipina while my Father was an Espanyol". I said, oh God! Help me i know that i lied but i am scared that he will judge me if he knew that im from the present. Even though it is only a dream but maybe my situation right now has the huge impact why i am here. I really miss my lola Minda so much; i know that she is worried about me but i cant go back in time.

"Porque estas solo-aqui? Tienes algo que esperar aqui? It is getting dark here outside. Are you familiar that theres a curfew at 6 o' clock right?" Asked the guy lord what should i do now? I am homeless.

"Nothing, i just love the environment here it so peaceful and i feel safe. Look how gorgeous the sunset is". I asked to the guy but literally i dont have home to take a nap. I lied again.

"Okay i see, if you dont mind, i can accompany you here to ensure that you are safe, no te preocupes no soy un mal tipo. By the way i'm zach Hernandez 21 yrs old. How about you?". Askes the guy, he looks kinda so maybe i could let him be with me tonight because its too dark, i dont even want to be a cold body next day because of some rapist out there.

" Yah sure, my name is Zhashna Blanca 18 yrs old. Thank you for being here at least i have someone to talk to. Nice to meet you!". I sincerely asked then he tells me about himself and i admire him every detail that i heard from him makes me more curious about him.

Everyday our meeting place is at the bench under the mango tree. He was so gentleman; that is wht i felt valuable, he makes me smile out of nowhere that makes me felt more excited. My heart beats faster; i think im inlove with the guy in my dream. He taught me how to be matured and how to adopt the environment. I learned a lot of things. His existence influences me a lot its like im havinf older brother that taught me good deeds. I dont knew why im so dependent to this guy, like im willing to wait him in a long time just to see him. Perhaps, i just appreciate. What he did for me or im in love. I dont know damn, im insane.

I even tell him that i exist in the present and this was a drean fir me because i an comatose for 1 year and i am glad that he understands me. I know that i can control my dream, but this time i cant control Zach, i dont know why. We are in a relationship right now. A qui no le gusta tanto como es sincer. He was the only one that treat me like a princess, love me for being who i am and understands me, for almost 1 year that i was in this dream our relationship together deepens.

But one day i felt that i will woke up for being comatos i heard the tears and voices of joy of my loved ones. They wabt to make up with me and i know that they are sincere in asking forgiveness. God knows that since the day that i chose to be with Lola, is the day that i forgive them i just sulking in reason to didnt give me time wheb i heard their voice, their somethinf in my chest that heals, the wall that i kep for how many years finally destroyed.

One afternoon i told Zach that can finally woke up that i can go back in my real exustence. But instead of choosing my family and be with them, i chose to be with Zach and live with this world of dreams. Yes, he was happy but i felt that he just fakes it. These past few weeks he is being cold as ice; he is not that Zach that i used to love before. Now i can see his true colors, that the words that he cared to much, it easy for him to tell hurtful words. But anything that makes him get mad at me, i changed it all because i love him. Even forcing myself to understand him. But i was so exhausted doing this shit i cant understand him anymore. It was 3rd week of October year 1821, when he tells me that hwa was just using me for his own sake. He tells that there was a girl that he really loved and it makes his as a wandering soul. He admitted that he was just a soul who can enter to the dream of humans to fool it and hooked its soul. To be able exist in this world , he needs to find a soul as an exchange to make him free. It is a big mistake that i loved each it is a wrong move that he chose me as his victim because anytime i can go back in time. When i heard his explanation and reason. It made my heart broken into pieces. I dont even understand why he needs to do this. I thought all the things that he does for me is true but i was wrong he just used me foe his own saje. Why he needs to do this in being true to him. I dont even question his existence because i love him so much but look what happened. Argh! I dont want to see him anymore!

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viciouslyrobotic · 6 months

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Rambles

I recently read a cherp prompt that described one of their characters, who they have as a trans man, as having *my body type*, and yet I reacted with suspicion and disgust about it like it's a bad thing to rp that. Even though I'm in a position where I know I "pass" because my cis older brother has a wasp waist- a teacher we've known since elementary said that once, and I'll never get that out of my head. My cis little brother also has a similar body type to ours. We just have that cinch, and we look incredibly alike to the point I've been mistaken for them by people who know one of my brothers or our family. Which, yes, makes me very lucky as a trans man. I have two walking validations for my presentation as a man.

So it's part observation, part musing,

but there's this undercurrent of body policing in an attempt to weed out chasers/fetishists of trans people in rp that comes from a real place that I keep noticing. That same attempt to weed out overlaps with the "pass" phenomenon where we try to excise any hint of femininity to be perceived as men because the gender binary is weaponized against us. Thus, perceived femininity is tagged as a mark of a "fake" and that is going to bring feelings of shame.

Another anecdote; An ex of mine talked badly of his wider hips and I perceived that as him being ashamed of them, that he was less of a man because of it but he, like my brothers, is a living example of cis men with "feminine" hips.

That ex was also a fetishist and pos for other reasons, and part of his fetish *could* be the factor of feminine traits being taboo for men as masculine traits are taboo for women but I digress; we aren't all Marilyn Monroe Types But Trans and that goes for cis men, too, in a way. Cis men just don't have to fret as much about that comparison because it isn't as severe a condemnation of their gender as it is for trans men and it's honestly not a comparison they really ever have to worry let alone think about because male beauty standards are different.

At the same time though, these perceived "fake" trans men with wide hips in rp spaces could be played by real trans men seeking those who don't treat us like a fetish to safely rp a character *with their own body type* much like I do because representation matters to us as individuals. Assuming that because the body type is hourglass/wasp-waisted they're more likely to be a fetishicizer or faker is kind of fucked up and at least to me seems to be reinforcing that perceived feminine traits are bad/shameful and makes someone *less* of their gender. I also LIKE my hips and thighs by the way, but because of the way femininity is treated regarding trans men, it's Wrong for me to *Like* what should Invalidate Me and Worse for me to admit that. But I grew up with not one but two(2) validations, so maybe that's why I find my hips and thighs to be my most attractive quality and like about myself as a man because at least at home that was never treated as Wrong for my brothers to have.

I agree that there *should* be overall better body diversity in trans male representation because we aren't all That Shape- but this undercurrent of negativity I keep noticing that's specific to my body type keeps nagging at me. So I'm rambling to the void about it. This also isn't meant as an opposition to other body types because bulky, fat, rectangle, etc shaped trans men deserve representation- especially those of color. The Skinny White Trans Boy tends to be ppl's assumption and *not* being skinny, white, or both is weaponized against those who don't fit this narrative.

#text post #vincentllv #i speak #trans men #roleplay #chaser mention #musings #ik im not the only one that has noticed this #society is a thing and we all interact with it #and yet ive also noticed ppl dont like applying critiques of social concepts to real life even though #those concepts #cant exist without individuals interacting #these concepts are active phenomenons within our society and exist on an individual level #guess im ranting in the tags that “we live in a society” bc ive been gaslit for shit like this in the past #anyway #im hungry #im tired #abuse of tags/i

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strywoven · 1 year

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@zankokukami has requested a story : ❝ 'ey, babe, what's up ? it's been a bit, ain't it ? ❞ the turk tossed his cigarette to the ground, stomping it out, it had been some time since he met with verona. he wondered what was up with her, usually they met each other more regularly, but it had been weeks at this point.

𝑼𝒏𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒅.

❝ I would say ‘ a bit ’ lends to an understatement , sweetheart , ❞ One moniker traded for another , it falls off the tongue with a cadence of obvious a f f e c t i o n she does not think to conceal ( & why should she ? they’re rather close by now , there’s no sense in keeping secrets like that , is there ? ) . Come to think of it , when WAS the last time she had seen Majima ? Between her own ceaselessly demanding work and whatever it is he had to do … The two of them hardly managed to cross paths lately. ❝ A shame that is , really , ❞ Verona remarks , watching him do away with his cigarette , ❝ You know , I might venture to say I’ve MISSED YOU these last couple weeks. ❞ Quite a compliment , to be sure , this particular woman doesn’t seem like the type to fix herself to j u s t anyone. And although the sentiment is spoken with her usual playfully coy air , her visage has gone plainly s o f t ‘round the edges , the sincere smile that splays her dark-painted lips alluding to the hidden kindness behind the meticulously upkept charade.

❝ If I’m honest , it has certainly been a bit b o r i n g without you. I was wondering where you had gone off to. ❞ Though , it’s safe to assume their distance is , at least , one-part HER FAULT as much as his own ; but her curiosity remains … Just WHERE DID he go ? Perhaps she was right the first time to think this man has some hidden facets of his own ( & she’s rather eager to figure them out , to discover just what they are ) . She pouts a little , ❝ Or perhaps that you had gone and forgotten about me. ❞ Teasing , of course , making l i g h t of things as she often may.

Verona turns over her wrist , checking the face of the watch for the time. After a moment’s consideration , she nods and looks towards Majima again. ❝ Well , I don’t have to see my client for … About another hour or so. ❞ Body cocks forward a bit , leaning herself t o w a r d s him. Her good silver eye glints , her skin shimmers in the dull light casting upon them from overhead ; she smells like smoke-ash and poppies and something distantly s w e e t . ❝ Sooo , since we happen to be here together n o w , why don’t we go for a drink ? My treat , ❞ Gloved , clawed hand presses to her breast , ❝ As an apology for not coming to see you sooner. Shall we go to the usual place ? Catch up a bit , too , while we’re at it ? ❞ Lips pull back , showing off serrated ivories in a grin ; she hopes the offer sounds tempting enough to get him to STICK AROUND for a little while longer.

#❧ ⸺ how can ( queue ) say there is no story here ? ❞#❧ ⸺ ch. verona | answered ❞#❧ ⸺ ch. verona | verse iv.i: ff7r ❞#zankokukami #i like the idea that... they have a “usual place” for drinks tbh

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chronocidalrage · 1 year

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MY LIFE IS MY FAVORITE SCARY MOVIE

Just like Sid said in Scream 3. Scary, painful shit, but I don't want to stop fighting.

BEHAVIOR We all assume that everything we do and say makes sense, because it makes sense to us.

FEAR That feeling I have when I imagine taking chances or being challenged at night is fear.

Am I a coward? It’s my least favorite quality of mine and possibly my biggest shame.

I love movies about fear and bravery.

I remember Atom taking me sledding at the golf course at night once. I was so afraid but trusted him. I remember we doubled up layers, wearing jeans over sweatpants. I remember looking and seeing his baggy pants getting weighed down by the snow as we tried to walk through it.

I remember him showing me how to climb a tree at camp.

What I need every day is to be brave. Atom made me feel like I didn’t have to be. I felt safe with Atom. Like he would protect me. And I’m terrified without him. And I keep wanting Susie to protect me but she doesn’t want to (and she shouldn't have to). She wants to have my back and that’s different.

At night when I’m high with Susie and Ruby, I feel safe.

Intimacy and connection with others requires bravery and I’m afraid.

Maybe that’s what my life is missing. Bravery. Be more confident with Susie. Braver about maybe dealing with some of my weird shit.

SUSIE I should be more flattered by how often she wants to talk to me.

SELF EFFICACY That’s where I still have to work. This concept of my limits compared to people who impress me.

I have to let them go. I always see it as “what thing that I’m not ready for am I gonna have to do next?” When I should see it as “I either want to do this now or I’m certainly trying to do this now.” If I don’t succeed, maybe I will try it again the next day or not at all.

I learned. I didn’t know how to take care of Ruby, but I learned. I didn’t know how to sing better, but I learned. I didn’t know how to make a podcast, but I learned.

I spend all my time agonizing over the past and over preparing for the future.

I need to focus on the now. How do I plan for the future then?

PRESENT Sometimes I really feel great when I’m present. I think food helps me focus on the now in a way that I enjoy. Movies allow me to not care about the past or present. There is no now. The present barely exists.

PUPPET Remember that I am not a puppet. People may tell me or ask me to do something, but I am choosing to agree. They aren’t making my arm move, I am. You can say no. You can resist. I don’t have to do something just because I’m capable and someone asked.

MIND, BODY, & SPIRIT My mind and body suffer because my spirit is always in turmoil.

WANT AND CAPABLE I want to eat junk food and watch TV because it’s something I both want to do and am capable of. Focus on what you want and why you’re not capable if that’s the case.

ATOM Thought of Atom on the beach. He said hi and asked me how I was doing. Told me to tough it up, walk it off lol.

We both saw ourselves as puppets. So we made sure to treat each other like real people. Dad wanted to use us to make his decisions feel worthwhile (oddly they would feel that way in the end), mom and Scott had no real use for us. Which is still kinda the problem.

We found other puppet friends and promised to operate them kindly. But when we needed a real friend, all we found were puppets.

I think we both wanted a puppet master who was a beautiful girl. You more than me. I kinda wanted to be a real boy. We gave up and decided to be real boys together and that’s when Susie happened. That’s why you loved Liz. A puppet master.

SLEEPING WITH THE SIMPSONS ON I fucking love The Simpsons. Jesus Christ. What a brain-forming piece of media. Life changing.

ESTEEM I am responsible for my own personal happiness. I am responsible for my successes and in some cases, my failures. I am also responsible for learning why I failed and how to succeed on the next try if possible.

FOCUS The problem is that other people cause me to forget I’m not a puppet. The introduction of other people generally causes me to go submissive, so working from home when Susie is here is incredibly difficult because I keep forgetting to be responsible for myself.

MODERN MEDIA I think normies have trouble connecting with fantastic and hyper real things. So the fantastic needs to be treated with cynicism to take the edge off. All mysteries need to be explained (hence the love for origin movies), and the visuals have to look real or like a video game (the most visually bizarre thing a normie understands).

It’s like modern audiences are having an imagination crisis.

MAKING SHIT Weirdly I’ve also been into watching movies less lately. I wonder if being more creatively productive with Tony is helping? I do technically prefer creating art rather than consuming it.

ALONE TIME What you do when you’re alone says a lot about who you think you are.

TONIGHT I can hear the SNL “Goodnights” theme when I think of this apartment and this neighborhood (our Neponset apartment). In the future I’ll look back at this time and at least envy how simple things were in so many ways. Just us. Safe and otherwise unbothered.

I also have to remember Susie is sad about leaving partially for the same reasons as me.

I have to remember how huge it is that Susie wants to live with me at all. She probably couldn’t even stand living with any of her best friends, she just doesn’t really like sharing space with people.

It almost helps to think of those you’ve lost as amazing places you’ve been. You’re just glad you got to go there.

We’re just the same essence tracking through different bodies and moments and surroundings through time. I’m the same thing that was in this body when I was watching dad sing in school shows. With Atom sitting next to me.

It’s like gravity pulling us down through time. Time itself doesn’t do that, the force of death does that. Every moment is real and important.

I love the night because it used to scare me and now it doesn’t. It makes me feel excited and brave.

I still feel like I just talked to you. I hope you’re always the first thing I think about when I hear “friend,” “brother,” or “loss.”

I’m always looking for confirmation that I’m doing the right thing.

When I imagine things I have to do, imagine completing them rather than failing at them. It’s the sting of the immediately imagined failure that fucks me up.

We only experience time because our consciousness is attached to our current state and our state keeps changing due to time. Otherwise we would just be.

I think sometimes I really wanna stay stuck in the period right after we moved to Kendrick. When I thought Susie and I were all up from there, life was up from there, and Atom was kinda in the early stages of his struggle and may still just snap out of it. It was the last time I felt actually hopeful. And I’ve been losing faith ever since that was ruined. And I think every day I wake up realizing how much less hope I feel. And that fucks me up. So I focus on Ruby as my biggest reminder that good things have happened since then. But then I fall back to my “oh fuck I have a whole place to myself but not in the depressing way, I can do whatever I want without judgement!” Which became a fun benefit of my modern life, and I think unfortunately I see that and Ruby as the best developments since I lost hope.

The truth is that I think Susie could be with anyone if she wanted to. But she’s with me. Wild.

I think I need to realize that if I want to do more, I have to devote less time to leisure. Which sucks because I love leisure.

I think I just learned to look at it like: trying to do things will go poorly, insulate yourself and try to make it fun.

SHIT It’s the immediate image of me failing at something that stops me. I think of something that doesn’t have a 90-100% chance of success and I immediately imagine me failing at it, which then makes me feel sad and pathetic and I feel awful and don’t want to do that thing. Maybe I just have to imagine myself succeeding instead and deal with it if I hit resistance.

RANDOM SPACE THOUGHTS The people around you will change if YOU change. As you go to different places in life, you’ll be surrounded by different people. It’s normal.

While in space, I “talked” to Atom. It was us on the phone the last time. I told him how much I loved him, I gushed. I told him he has no idea how much I love him and he said “you know I do. I know exactly how much you love me.” I asked him if he’ll forgive me if I move on. He said he won’t forgive me if I DON’T. He said I have to.

Thought of him laughing at the fire at camp. Him looking at me and seeing what I saw.

Thought of me when I was younger. I never could’ve imagined how my life has gone. I just wanted to be cool and famous. I didn’t think of much else.

Tonight, seeing you at the funeral home seems fake. Cleaning out your apartment feels imagined. I feel like I had just talked to you earlier today. Thanks for that.

You also told me you can’t wait to see what I make. “Show it to me.”

You didn’t know what you were doing either, you just gave it your best shot.

I think I struggle with how guilty I feel about wanting more for myself, like mom and Scott, while also believing in and being in awe of self sacrifice. I so loved the way dad and Atom put themselves second. It was so beautiful in its dark way. But Scott and mom were more likely to have what they wanted. To love themselves in some capacity.

I’m the pet project of dad and Atom. Their science experiment. Their creation. They wanted someone who saw the value of love and self sacrifice, while also believing in themselves and having the lives they want. They wanted me to have the strengths of both sides. It’s just so hard to be both.

FOR ME Think of how everything benefits you. How it’s for you. A coffee is for you. Working out is for you. For your stress. For your health. For you to move your body. If it’s for your body, it’s for you. Don’t think of things like “you’ll get less fat,” because that never works. You never imagine you can feel good about your body, so that won’t matter.

The junk food is to have something that’s “for you.” But so many things are for you. A healthier breakfast is still for you. It tastes good, it saves you time, it saves you money. More things than food and movies can be for me.

I like them because they feel like they’re completely for me. When things are partially for others, it ruins the fun for me I think.

WALK When I make stuff I can kinda feel Atom. Like he sees it.

I guess part of the problem is that I assign Atom all the responsibility for the good things that have happened to me. Never myself. Even the stuff that I assign to Susie, I never would’ve found or managed to keep Susie without Atom’s guidance before meeting her (in my mind).

I technically taught myself how to play guitar. Taught myself how to write songs. How to sing high. How to play drums (mostly). How to record. How to make a podcast.

How to take Atom’s lessons and use them to find my own style and taste. How to make comics. How to write. How to be funny. How to be the “cool sexy guy” on the rare occasion that I can pull it off.

How to make movies. How to transition from retail to my position at the end of Abine.

How to talk about and analyze movies. Learned from Willems and so forth, but I can actually do it now.

The things I’m able to do or figure out are a sign of my ability. But I tend to ignore them and focus on what I CAN’T do.

OTHER PEOPLE I think I believe I CAN’T put myself first. I have to put others first and me second. I can only be selfish when I’m alone or when I have successfully come through for others first. I need to drop that habit and learn to be selfish COMFORTABLY.

ART AGAIN Can’t stop thinking about Kevin Eastman. The artist most influential on me was Atom Harris. But from there it was Kevin Eastman, then Jim Lee and Erik Larsen, then Bruce Timm.

DATE NIGHT Susie and I got Thai massages and then randomly went to Cathay Pacific. It was amazing. What a good time.

RANDOM I think eating junk food and watching TV is my way of saying no. Saying no to what I should do, what I’m being expected to do. It’s a form of rebellion on my part. I’m not being healthy, fuck you I’m eating junk. I’m not being productive, fuck you I’m watching movies.

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dranshulgupta · 2 years

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Top 7 Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis Food Myths

Food has a positive and negative impact on thyroid function in Hashimoto’s environment. So, here are some ideas which we should go through. Some of these ideas are absolutely true, others are mostly false but contain kernels of truth and others are completely false. Functional Medicine Doctor Houston

Yet even obviously false information is often passed from person to person on the Internet as the truth of the gospel!

Let’s debunk some of these Hashimoto's food-related myths and talk about what you can and should expect from your diet.

Consult Dr. Gupta

The list has been created to get a clear picture of the relationship between food and Hashimoto’s and is not intended to be an exhaustive list containing all the nutritional myths:

1. Changing my diet can cure or reverse my Hashimoto and that's all I need to do.

There is no doubt that diet plays a key role in regulating the body and plays an important role in reversing your Hashimoto’s. But after helping thousands of clients with Hashimoto’s, I can say that diet alone can't reverse your Hashimoto’s.

As you might know, Hashimoto’s is an autoimmune condition, and there are several triggers that lead to Hashimoto’s. Diet is one of those, but everyone that I have treated has more than one trigger or root cause, and unless all the root causes are addressed a person cant reverse their Hashimoto’s.

healthy diet

The idea is very tempting because it essentially promises that repairing autoimmune thyroid disease is within reach if you can unlock the mysterious food code. And since you are in control of what you put in your mouth, that means you may be in control of the condition of your thyroid. There is only one problem, it doesn't work that well.

As Hashimoto’s is complex and to reverse it you need to not only work on the food but also on toxins, leaky gut, chronic infections, parasites, etc. Diet is important, but it's not the only thing you need to think about.

Consult Functional Medicine Expert

2. I don't have to avoid gluten because I don't have celiac disease.

Most people mistakenly assume that gluten should only be avoided if you have celiac disease. Celiac disease is an autoimmune disease that requires the complete elimination of gluten from the diet.

If you have celiac disease and consume gluten, your body will produce antibodies against it which destroy the lining of the gut and lead to all kinds of problems. Doctors and patients know this alike, and they also know that you can test for celiac disease by doing some simple blood tests.

So, the obvious conclusion is that if you don’t have these antibodies in your blood (which means you DON'T have celiac disease), it's safe to eat gluten, right?

Absolutely wrong, and this is where people get into trouble while celiac disease is a major problem for people with Hashimoto's, there is a more sinister problem known as non-celiac gluten sensitivity.

These are people who test negative for celiac disease but are still sensitive to gluten, which can cause problems if consumed.

For this reason, it's almost always a good idea to completely eliminate gluten from your diet if you've had Hashimoto for at least 90 days, regardless of what your blood tests show.

Book an expert call with Thyroid Doctor

3. Cutting my Calories is the Best Way to Lose Weight.

Most patients with Hashimoto's are NOT treated properly and their weight gain reflects this problem. This means for you that if the problem is your thyroid, no amount of calorie restriction will solve the problem! In fact, the opposite usually happens.

Calorie restriction, especially yo-yo dieting, leads to a decrease in circulating free T3 (5), an increase in reverse T3, and can lower your metabolism!

Instead of trying to cut calories, focus on a regular, normal amount of calories from whole foods.

Book 15 min FREE Functional Medicine Consultaiton

4. Once I have mastered my Hashimoto’s, I will be able to eat like my friends.

This is probably the most frustrating myth, but it's something you need to be aware of. If you've been diagnosed with Hashimoto's, the chances of you eating like your non-autoimmune friends are virtually nil.

The sad truth is that those with Hashimoto's should always be careful and aware of the foods they put into their bodies.

What does that mean?

That means when you and your friends go out for lunch or dinner, don't share that deep-dish pizza with beer on the side or if your friends are going out for their morning latte, it's much better if you politely decline and have a herbal tea instead.

What you need to understand is that even if you eat the same foods as your friends, those foods affect your body differently from theirs.

This also applies if you have your Hashimoto under control! For the rest of your life, you need to be aware of the impact your diet will have on your thyroid disease.

Consult Anshul Gupta MD

5. AIP is the best diet if you have Hashimoto's disease.

Many people will tell you that the best diet to treat Hashimoto's is the AIP diet.AIP stands for Autoimmune Protocol and Autoimmune Paleo Diet.

In short, this diet is a stricter version of Paleo that acts as a virtual elimination diet that pretty much eliminates the possibility of you having any type of reaction or sensitivity to the foods you eat.

While it's extremely effective, it's also not suitable for most people even when it works well, it can cause all sorts of problems, including increased sensitivity to foods when you start to reintroduce them into your diet, as well as non-compliance issues. 6. Ashwagandha is harmful if you have Hashimoto’s.

Consult Dr. Gupta, Thyroid Functional Medicine Expert

This stems from the idea that ashwagandha is technically a member of the nightshade family, and that nightshade is one of the foods that should be "cut out" if you have autoimmune conditions such as Hashimoto's thyroiditis.

The logic is that consuming ashwagandha causes inflammation which worsens autoimmune function and aggravates your thyroid. There's always a chance that you as an individual will run into trouble, but the idea that anyone with Hashimoto should avoid it isn't really true or justified.

For More Info: Functional Medicine Doctor New York

Functional Medicine Doctor OH

Functional Medicine Doctor Los Angeles

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tinandabin · 2 years

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Yan Rengoku x Reader

(Maybe Tanjiro too?)

Rengoku discovers that the (Y/N) was missing and found them on a festival, having fun. I know it's a cheesy prompt

Thanks for requesting!! :DD

Yandere Kyojuro x reader

"My children, have you noticed something different with Kyojuro?"

"His voice isn't as comfortable as it used to be, Oyakata-sama." Said Muichiro, in a daze as he looked at the moths around the lamp.

"He isn't as flashy as he used to be!" With a finger to his chin, nodded Uzui.

"KYAA, He is still very cool but it seems as to..he has stopped caring," Concerned, Mitsuri finished her sentence.

"He is changing." Seriously, told Sanemi as he looked at his lap, deep in thought.

"He isn't as talkative as he used to be." Sighing, Obanai added his opinion.

"Just as Obanai said, he isn't much talkative." Continued Giyuu, Obanai slightly glaring at Giyuu.

"His presence is becoming negative, I will pray for him," Gyomei said as a few tears rolled down his face while he rubbed his beads.

"I had recently heard from Rengoku-san that someone very close to him has gone missing. Perhaps that may be the reason for his sudden change." Smiling, Shinobu thoughtfully announced.

"I see. Thank you for your opinions, children. Please, look after Kyojuro for me, will you?" Oyakata-sama asked of them, softly smiling at them.

All the hashiras present nodded, "Hai, Oyakata-sama."

_________

You have been missing for nearly a week. Why would you even leave him? He treated you very nicely, except for the possessiveness and protectiveness. Did he do something wrong? Surely, it wasn't something that big that couldn't have been talked out? I mean, if it was about keeping you locked up and only allowing you to talk to him, then really! It's nothing. He just thinks that this world doesn't deserve to even see someone like you. Is there anything wrong with that?

Bowing to Oyakata-sama, Kyojuro exited the estate as he strapped his sword to his belt, getting ready for another mission. Another mission to finish and not even getting to see you. It's a surprise he survived a week without you.

The mission was that every once in a while, a festival takes place in a different place. The same one. Every week. Where people go missing, said to never be seen again once they enter it. Kyojuro remembers just a week ago how you were practically begging him to take you there because of all the good things you heard about it. He surely would have taken you with him on this mission, of course, he would be able to protect you.

Reaching his destination, he entered the festival which was crowded to the brim with people as cheers and laughing could be heard. It would be difficult to find the demon in such a crowded setting.

Walking further into the festival, taking in every detail in hopes of spotting the demon and finishing this mission fast so he can start looking for you again.

Looking at the food stalls, wondering what would be your favourite one out of these, he saw a stall..where they were selling human hands.

Carefully looking at the rest of the stalls, he saw all of them were selling one or another human body part, whether it be an eye or a finger.

Looking at the right side of the festival, he saw there they were selling normal human food.

No wonder a hashira was called in when there were demons and humans both together. At such large amounts too. It was safe to assume there were at least 30 demons. Grouping together because they are weak. What a surprise.

__________

Sheathing his sword after ridding it of the blood, the demons crumbling away while cursing at him. Everyone had left after seeing they were interacting with the creatures who ate humans. But it seems as to..a group still remained.

They were far away from the drama that just happened, explaining why they haven't left yet.

Approaching them, he smiled at them trying to look welcoming as his loud voice announced, "You should leave! There might be more demons lurking around here."

Slightly trembling because you would rather not deal with getting caught like this, you tried your best to blend in with the group's laughter.

But sadly for you, you were too careless. You wanted to escape him so badly that you forgot one thing. When he had kidnapped you, he had gotten your ear pierced and made you wear a pair of earrings that were permanently attached to your ear as a way to show his devotion to you.

You couldn't remove them even if you tried, but you didn't even try to, nor did you remember them.

"OH, (NAME) AND WHAT MAY YOU BE DOING HERE??" Happily, Kyojuro exclaimed very loudly. Not on purpose, he was just excited to see you again. And well, the whole group knew each other and you were just some....random person who joined their group and so they left you behind.

They didn't even know your name.

"Ahahhaha, KyoJURO!! THIS IS A NICE FESTIVAL, ISN'T IT??" Nervously, you said as you pointed at some human fingers. By mistake.

Kyojuro does not give a fuck.

____________

"Should I just break your legs? That way you can never ever run away again." Pondering, Kyojuro thought out loud as you sat there with lifeless eyes.

____________________

"If loyalty isn't enough to keep you by my side, surely seven locks should do the trick!" ~ Kyojuro Rengoku.

_______

MASTERLIST

#demon slayer #dark #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #yandere #yandere demon slayer #yandere kny #yandere kyojuro #yandere hashiras #yandere x reader #yandere kyojuro x reader #yanderes #x reader #yandere kny x reader

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