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#i went off the rails but ANYWAY
akimojo · 9 months
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people love to use ffxiii’s messy development as a reason to completely shit on the game but honestly the fact they managed to sneak in so many little details in the gameplay in a way that reflects the characters and story despite all the miscommunication between the dev sections is just impressive to me
#was xiii horribly planned out and missed out on a lot of important feedback because of the poor time management? absolutely#does that mean you cant be impressed with what the game achieved regardless of whether you liked it or not? fuck no#also the fact theres next to no bugs (not counting the pc port because... yeah) is amazing all things considered#and the graphics still hold up to this day#the linearity is everyones main issue with the game but look at x dude#x was linear as hell too but it makes sense bc yuna had a pilgrimage to follow#just as how it makes sense for the xiii cast to not have time to stop and explore cocoon while they were being hunted by the government#thats why you have so much more freedom to explore when youre on pulse#theres not even anything objectively wrong with having a game be linear in the first place#and the people complaining about the story being ''incoherent'' are just... wrong?#they give you enough hints within the dialogue to piece the story together yourself while also not leaning on exposition dumps to tell it#and if you cant do that then the datalogs are right THERE#games have relied on ''notes'' to tell parts of their story for ages now and i dont understand why its suddenly bad when xiii does it#i dont like sitting through exposition dumps and i like being able to analyse and theorize about a plot WHILE im experiencing it#and a lot of other people feel the same way so its not an objectively bad aspect of the game's storytelling#you just need to pay attention and be patient and wait for the story to unfold#i went off the rails but ANYWAY#aki stfu#final fantasy xiii
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quaranmine · 3 months
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people on reddit are already getting pissed with the idea that maybe adiecraft was just "leading us on" the whole time or clickbaiting or whatever. and honestly i feel like that's a weak response. get a thicker skin, redditors. me? i respect the grind. adie never once said he was joining, he just made a previous season reference and had a hermit quote retweet him which stirred up an entire fanbase that was on a hair-trigger ready for speculation. then he proceeded to roll with it and neither confirm nor deny and get a bunch of extra eyes on his content, specifically the eyes of people who are already primed to like him.
like i don't feel particularly baited man idk it seems like a you problem, i'm fully aware I Did This To Myself LOL
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opikiquu · 15 days
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tinned-beef · 6 months
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Allison Hargreeves is being unfairly vilified?
Allison Hargreeves as in 'SA'd Luther' Allison Hargreeves? Allison Hargreeves as in 'confirmed Viktor's worst ongoing fears and anxieties just because Viktor was grieving his friend/stepson and it annoyed her' Allison Hargreeves? Allison Hargreeves 'contributed to the deaths of two of her siblings' Allison Hargreeves? Allison Hargreeves 'nothing anyone else has lost over the course of this nightmare matters as much as what I lost so I'm gonna fuck everything up potentially irreparably' Allison Hargreeves?
That Allison Hargreeves? I mean don't get me wrong I like her but she's very much a villain right now. She's an interesting villain, a compelling villain, a better villain than Reggie since we actually know wtf her problem is and we wish things hadn't turned out this way. But a villain all the same.
i don't think allison is a villain. at best, i'd say she's an antihero. at worst, she was a catalyst for viktor's arc in season three.
i would like to start by saying that i'm not defending allison's actions. i think what she did was wrong. however, i don't think she deserves all the hate that she's gotten. she's a character that is very morally gray, and people continue to paint her in solely black or white.
what i try to convey in this... very long post is that there's a reason for what allison does in season three. the question of if she’s a villain or not can be debated, but i believe that the reasons for her actions don’t make her a villain.
a big reason why the umbrella academy is such an incredible show is that all the umbrellas are flawed and nuanced, and despite it all they love. all of the umbrellas have their faults, and allison is no different.
in season three allison has lost all hope. she thinks she will never see her child again, her husband is dead, the world is ending, and to her it seems like her siblings don't give a shit. amidst all the chaos and the whirlwind of her life, she needs something that she's used to. something she knows how to navigate.
so she turns to luther. and she gets the comfort she's looking for but it's not right.
allison and luther's relationship is something that has been a topic of many debates in this fandom. i don't really want to get into it right now, but they've always been a person of comfort to each other. allison wants to feel loved and cared for, and she thinks she can get that comfort from luther.
allison is naturally selfish. she's used to getting what she wants. she's used to having the world at her fingertips. and yet almost everything she's held close to her heart has been ripped away from her. and she's never getting it back.
in season three she falls back onto her old habits, rumoring people left and right with no consideration for others. it makes sense because it's the only way she knows how to get what she wants.
and then she rumors luther. she doesn't want to lose him either, and she thinks that he's choosing sloane over her (which is true, but she thinks he's leaving forever. she thinks she'll lose him too). but she almost instantly realizes what she's done, almost instantly tries to take it away.
as for her relationship with viktor, that's another can of worms. in season one, allison is the only one really trying to mend that relationship with viktor. but it's a rocky road. allison snaps at viktor, viktor snaps at allison. these two have had tension from the very start. eventually, that bond had to snap.
at the start of season three, viktor is the only one that really tries to help allison. he stands up for her, and comforts her after she returns from la. but by episode three allison is so consumed by her grief that she's already clashing with viktor.
and when harlan makes an appearance, it just gets worse. harlan is like a son to viktor. someone viktor can care for. and when viktor turns that care and attention away from allison and instead towards harlan, it hurts. why is viktor allowed to have his child when allison will never get to see claire again?
in season three luther tells viktor that allison has “always been good to you (viktor)”. but there comes a point where your love and gratitude towards someone can morph into bitterness and hate.
the reason i say allison is a catalyst for viktor in season three is because the writers needed someone to contest his ideas. someone that will create a struggle for viktor that he will ultimately come out of with a new lesson learned. and allison is a great contender for that position. the show needs conflict in order to have an engaging story at all, and tense relationships between the siblings can be seen throughout all three seasons. (luther and diego in season one, ben and klaus in season two)
as for the deaths of her siblings, do you really think she wanted that to happen? she doesn’t want to lose any more people, that’s the main driver of her character shift in this season.
allison turns towards reginald because she sees it as the only option left. klaus does the same thing, so why is it any different when allison does it? she didn’t know her siblings would die in the process.
allison isn’t even the only sibling that has contributed to a sibling’s (almost) death. viktor slashes her throat in season one, ben sacrifices himself to save the world, and luther willingly walks into the room to talk to reginald. how is that allison’s fault?
i think this is also why five gives his talk to viktor, not allison. he understands what allison is going through on some level, understands the despair of losing those who are close to you. understands being willing to do anything to get them back. even though he quite loudly disagrees with allison making a deal with reginald, it's because he knows she's getting tricked. reginald never had their best interests at heart.
they’ve all lost people, and they all react to that loss in different ways. in season 1, when diego finds that patch was killed, he instantly wants to go for revenge. he plans on going after hazel and cha cha but five inevitably talks him out of it.
allison doesn’t have that influence. in fact, diego suggests to instead let that grief out through anger. i don’t think it was a very good solution in the end.
and despite all that, she wants to redeem herself. she tries to tell viktor the truth, she admits that she made the plan for all of them. she kills reginald and she’s the one that pushes the button at the end of season three. there’s so much left that we don’t know. did allison know what would happen when she pressed the button? did she know what reginald’s real plan was?
but in the end, allison is the reality of a person who has lost those who are closest to her. it’s probably the best job the writers have done while showing trauma and grief. i don’t think allison is a villain, and i think that accusing her of solely caring about herself is unfair.
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bewilderedbuck · 10 months
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Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season four edition)
HERE IT IS!!! the final edition of devi vs. david!!! if you're new here and haven't checked out any of my other devi vs. david deep dives, please feel free to check them out here: season 1, season 2, season 3. you can also find all of my devi vs. david ramblings here. and as i've said again and again and again, this is a list of every single time ben refers to her as either devi or david, this time in season 4, with context + insight + my own lil insane thoughts, because i'm 100% totally normal when it comes to this topic (they said, like a liar).
heads up, not all of the netflix captions are accurate, or the whole quote wasn't all in one frame, so if the font looks different in any of the following screencaps, it's because i captioned them myself.
i already noted in previous analyses, as well as in this post, that ben tends to go for “david” during their rivalry and their friensdhip, as opposed to when they’re estranged/fighting etc and when they're in more...well, romantic situations, he defaults to “devi.” i’ll go a little more into this towards the end, but it’s just something i’d like to bring to your attention before i get started.
anyways, here we go!
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hmm remember when i predicted we would get a “devi” first this season because of the months of distance and miscommunication? and when i thought it would happen immediately after devi sees margot kiss ben? i may not have had all the details right, but i saw this coming from a mile away. and this also fits into the pattern i thought was going to be established: season 1 we get “david” first, season 2 we get “devi,” season 3 “david” and now in season 4 they’re finishing the pattern with another “devi.” they’re in wildly different places in their relationship in each of these instances, which i go more in detail about in this post where i predicted that we would get a “devi” first this season.
anyways. this use of “devi” has me hurting for both of them. they’ve got this - this chasm of months of distance, of zero contact, of miscommunication and misread feelings and misrepresented actions (“he was clearly embarrassed for me.” vs “it was so clear she that thought it sucked. she got up and sprinted out.” i love my two unreliable narrators devi vishwakumar and ben gross!!). i’m having a lot of thoughts about devi’s intentions here that i…probably won’t go into further detail about, lol, because this post is about ben. so. of course he reverts to “devi” here - they aren’t friends, right now. they aren’t really rivals right now, either - i mean, they always will be, of course, but that’s not the focal point of their relationship here. they’re talking for the first time after three months of radio silence, of ben creating this rift between them because of some bullshit advice after misrepresenting what happened (okay like. i’m not here to hate on ben - i just. it’s his fault. it’s literally his fault). he can’t call her “david” because, as i’ve said before, “david” has turned fond. they aren’t friends, they aren’t rivals, they aren’t lovers. so, “devi.”
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(didn't include the first "devi" he says to get her attention in this scene, sorry.)
okay this is. basically bouncing off the last one - he can’t call her “david.” they aren’t close enough for that, not right now - they won’t be for some time this season. but he’s also trying to set the tone of the conversation, a more mature version of the one they had in the beginning of the episode. and i do applaud him for this, for owning up to all of this being his fault, too (which. i don’t think all of it was, honestly - there is blame to be placed on devi and on margot over what happened this episode, but the 3 months of no contact? ben’s fault, 100%). big props to him for apologizing. however still a little salty about him internalizing those words from mr. basketball player all those months ago, because dude did not have all the info when he gave ben that advice. but to be fair - ben is a seventeen year old with low social skills (not faulting him for that because like. same) so i sympathize with him a bit there. overall, based on where they are in their relationship in 4x01, i was really pleased with how this convo turned out especially since the spoilers we were given from the premiere made it look so much worse than it really is.
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hm. remember how that last convo of theirs was pretty mature and low-conflict. yeah then they give us this. ben’s…exasperated. within reason, i think - and to be clear i don’t think devi’s really in the wrong here, it’s just…he chose to be with margot because he thought it was the easier route. he distanced himself from devi because he thought it would be easier. but it’s not. of course it’s not - he and devi both still have all these messy feelings for each other that they’ve been pushing down and suppressing and denying. and it’s tiring. being around devi while he’s “““moving on””” is tiring. being sucked into drama over and over is tiring. he wants - or thinks he wants- something calm, and easy. -and like. it would be fuckign easy if y’all just got your shit together and admitted your feelings but that comes later so we’re moving on for now-
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okay so. as i’ve said in my previous posts, it doesn’t make sense for him to refer to her as “david” to other people when she’s not around, so we’re not going to explain why he said “devi” here - that’s a given. but this whole scene…he kinda let devi get into his head before talking to margot. like, from the characters’ point of view, not ours, it definitely seems like margot had the most motive to deface her car. i mean ben straight up says, “you did have a good reason, so i could understand why you might.” and this isn’t me digging at devi for thinking margot did it, or ben for second-guessing margot, or anything like that - it’s just like. objectively. it does seem like margot could have done it. so i get where ben’s coming from.
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okay so…we know that that is. false. a lie. an untruth. et cetera. bouncing back to the first instance of “devi” in 4x02, this, once again, makes me think that ben is just…trying to make things easier, calmer. he doesn’t want to deal with devi’s drama right now (again, not dissing devi, just explaining his pov). interrupting her with, “listen, devi,'' to get her attention, to shut her up because he just…can’t do this right now. he’s conflicted - he cares about devi so deeply that it’s detrimental to him at times, and after the events of 4x01 and 4x02, he thinks the best thing to help him keep “““moving on””” (bc like. i’ve touched on this before but there is no moving on for him when it comes to devi) is to go back to silence and estrangement. back to how they were over the summer. back to how they were in those few episodes of season 2, even, just with less vitriol. so, “devi” to further that distance - earlier in the episode, he says, “we are friends,” but here, he’s all but saying, we can’t be friends, not anymore. not now. maybe not ever again.
following this up with:
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the thing is…he does look sorry. he doesn’t want to lose her again. it hurts her, yes, but it also hurts him. but like i said - this is easier for him, for right now at least.
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oooh this brings me back to 2x08, “devi, you’re daisy.” ben, currently dating a girl that’s not devi, while still having all these complicated feelings for her, relating her to the material they’re currently studying, after she almost became the reason said girlfriend had to leave sherman oaks (temporarily for margot, of course, but still) - it’s not an exact copy/paste, obv, but i’m loving the parallel. also brings me back to 1x02, “it’s okay, devi. i know how hard it is to memorize seven facts,” the same tone being used then as it is now - although with different intentions, of course. ben is - bitter, i would say. of course he is. this whole situation is just…really reminiscent of that 2x05 to 2x07 arc, although with a bit less anger - they’ve got not just their rivalry and (currently, failed) romance behind them, but also those months of real friendship they had during season 3. there’s even more history between them to contend with now, which makes it harder for him to be angry with her. he still is - just not to the same extent as the s2 aneesa situation. 
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remember when i said ben stopped talking to her to make it easier? yeah. i honestly totally forgot he says exactly that until i got to this scene while writing this out. “it’s just easier this way. she just always complicates things.” just - ouch, ouch, ouch. this is just me reiterating everything i’ve already said, i guess. does he want to push devi away right now? no, i don’t think so. but it makes things less complicated for him. devi is messy, yes, they’ve established that well over all four seasons - but this isn’t really about how messy devi is, is it? he tells margot that it’s because of devi, and it is, partially, but it’s also because of him. because he and devi clash. because he and devi mesh. because, at least right now, it is so hard for him to separate all these things he feels - angry and disappointed, yes, but there’s this - wistful, i want to say, feeling there under all of that, this pull he’s always going to feel with her. and he’s not in a place where he can let that go unless he cuts her off.
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god i do feel for ben here. i wish they had brought back some of the stuff from last season with him…chilling out more when it comes to academics and all that, but like, this is ben gross we’re talking about here - one intestinal blockage and heartfelt convo with his dad isn’t going to erase over a decade of self-set high expectations. dude is stressed, literally sweating through his clothes and now he looks like someone squirted a bottle of french’s on him.
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and amongst all this, comes the last person he wants to talk to right now - he smells like sweat and acrylic paint and he just had his girlfriend judge the spiel he’s probably recited in the mirror a hundred times (which like, in all fairness to margot, it did feel like a bowflex commercial). and now here’s devi, all calm and collected with her power blazer and bouncy high pony - looking like the opposite of what ben’s feeling. he’s already frustrated, and her showing up makes it that much worse - until approximately two seconds later when she saves his women’s medium sized ass.
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episode 5’s you never disappoint do you. i love, love, love this conversation between ben and devi - this vulnerability here, the way they tell each other that they’ll be okay, that yes, this is scary. our lives are about to change forever - but you’ll make it through. you’ll survive. you’ll thrive. 
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and this line…this so much. ben knows who devi is, has been in proximity to her for twelve years at this point, as a rival, as a friend, even as a lover for a short stint - and he knows her, and he knows that she knows herself. maybe - no, definitely - she didn’t know who she was before, drowning in fresh grief, but she’s grown, she’s healed (not completely, but she has healed nonetheless), and ben has had a front row seat to that. he has watched from up close as she became the person she is now. he believes in her, and he knows she can believe in herself, too.
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i promise i’m feeling so totally normal about this…remember when i said i thought the first “david” would be at the end of 4x05 during reconciliation? i do, and, surprise surprise - i was right, because ben gross is nothing if not consistent (most of the time, at least). this “david” is driving me insane. they just had this heartfelt discussion about their fears with going to college, reassuring each other that they’ll be okay, fucking…pep talking each other, because they know each other better than they know anyone else, and ben drops a “david” like it’s nothing. like it’s easy. like he means it!!! i’ve said so many times that “david” has turned into this term of endearment almost exclusively used during their friendship, with ben avoiding using it when they’re not friends, and after last episode, where it had been verbally established (by devi, at least), that they still aren’t friends…now he slips a “david” in. this is the closest, the most vulnerable, they’ve been with each other in months. this is ben taking that step to pull them even closer - ben feeling safe enough to do so. this is ben saying, “i can be your friend,” thirty seconds before he actually utters those words.
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okay full disclosure, “david” isn’t in the official captions on this one, so like, idk if jaren decided to add this day of filming or what - but whatever. that doesn’t matter here. what does matter is this absolute effortless slide back into their friendship. ben going out of his way to approach her, to tell her the good news (well. it’s not really good news for devi but like. he doesn’t know that, so). he’s excited for her!!! he gives her this boost of confidence (and yes i know it doesn’t last long, what with the deferral email coming in that day but. still.)
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ooooh the way i love this scene!!! the fact that we get to see this interaction through paxton’s eyes is just delightful to me. like, okay, i’m not a “he’s mean to you so he likes you!!” kind of person, but banter like this coming about while they’re actively friends and post-bargot (bengot? ragross? ykwim) breakup…it’s thinly veiled flirting, and idk if we would have been given that perspective if this scene had been shot from devi’s pov, or ben’s. while this isn’t the first taste of mutual banter we’ve got all season (looking at you, 4x04 bathroom scene), this is the first friendly mutual banter, and god we were starving for it - at least i know i was. there’s bite behind their words, but it’s playful for both of them!! but like - then there’s the shot of them both immediately fixing their appearance after they’re no longer in each other’s line of sight (ben tucking in his necklace, devi taking off her cardigan) and i just. ooooh my god i love it. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again - peak crush behavior. and ben isn’t even posturing for paxton here like he would have before, thanks to the literal shitstorm of 3x06 - ben’s only…well, acting up, i guess i would say, for devi. not anyone else. 
(and like this is totally unrelated but god do i wish we got more bexton interactions this season, but oh well.)
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hi yeah no i’m still not over this scene. it’s. so unapologetically horny and it’s a side of ben i’m honestly so glad we got to see. like, okay, we already know he messed around a little with shira, had (bad) sex with devi, and is canonically a boob guy, but this more in-depth peek at his desires (cough cough degradation kink cough cough) is just…chef’s kiss. yes this is devi’s show first and foremost but god do i love the looks into ben’s brain we get. and this - this desire for devi, this want for her, something he can’t run from in his subconscious no matter how hard he runs from it in his waking hours - yes, it’s a wet dream, but it’s more than that. trent says it: “...you really love her.”  ben loves her. he can’t get her out of his head. he wants her - physically and emotionally.
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let’s, for now, ignore that this is moments before disaster. god, the look on his face, this eager, hopeful smile, the fucking bouquet he brought for her. he’s riding the high (ha, get it) of trent’s earnest pep talk, ready, for the first out of multiple times this season, to tell her he wants her. he’s done denying it, to himself and now to her, too (which. the latter obviously doesn’t really happen for another few months - but that’s beside the point).
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this instance is pretty self-explanatory from ben’s pov (i mean, that’s what y’all are here for). checking in that she’s okay after seeing her throw up, congratulating her, etc. not spending too much time on this one - just noting the, once again, effortless slip back into “david” after the events of last episode. not saying there’s not some inner turmoil going on for him regarding his feelings for her; even though we can’t see it, it’s still there - but birthdaygate (as nalini called it) was…a disaster, to put it lightly, so. back to “david” it is…for now, at least.
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god this followed immediately by the “is she okay?” and then ben rushing off to go check in on her…i’ll touch on this more in the next instance, but like. he’s truly the only one who gets how much this would hurt. not saying that no one else understands how devi feels, but he’s the only one who would really, truly get it if the same happened to him. just - the wondering how she didn’t get in anywhere, because she’s just as smart as (and, technically as 4x10 proves with that valedictorian sash, smarter than) him.  the immediate concern for her, the need to check in...god, he cares for her so much.
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“But you’re not a quitter.” bringing back the “no one knows them better than they know each other” thing - because it’s true. no one knows devi better than ben knows her. he knows what she’s capable of - has been on the opposing side of it for over a decade. he has won against her, lost against her, won with her, lost with her…he’s seen her rise and fall and pick herself back up to rise again. he understands her, and he understands why this is so painful for her - if it were him, it would feel like twelve years of hard work, of early mornings following sleepless nights, of flash cards and meticulous notes and extra credit projects, all being flushed down the drain. he gets it, gets her. this being the first use of “devi” (to her, and not in a dream sequence) since 4x05 - he uses it to set the tone, to get her attention, to get her to listen to him. because he knows she doesn’t really want to give up. and he as much as says that: “but if you don’t try everything that you can, you’re gonna regret it.” she already knows this - there’s no doubt in my mind about that, and there’s no doubt that ben knows that she knows this. she just needed to hear it from the one person who understands - and it worked. she does try - and, as we see in 4x10, she succeeds.
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this…this is the biggest break in his pattern when it comes to “devi” vs “david.” he never refers to her as “david” with a - romantic isn’t the exact word i’m looking for, but it’s the one we’re gonna use - romantic intention. i think he’s using “david” here to sort of…ease the tension, so to say? to lighten the mood a bit. he wants to tell her - has wanted to since trent told him to speak his truth, likely longer than that. but after birthdaygate - he doesn’t want to show too much of his hand. “maybe i was wrong, david.” not “i was wrong, devi.” 
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feeling especially attached to this use of “david” tbh. the excitement he feels for her, immediately rushing to pull her into a hug, how proud he is of her, especially after the events of the last episode. again, he knows how hard she’s worked for this, and he knows what it’s like to feel all of that hard work pay off. she’s not alone in feeling this satisfaction - he’s feeling it with her.
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 i loved, loved all the callbacks to the previous seasons, and this is no exception. the addition of “david” here brings me back to this post by @catty-words that i’m still thinking about almost two years later (and have referenced in 2 out of 3 of these analyses): “it’s a relic from their rivalry.” obviously cori goes into it a bit differently in that post because it’s about their season 2 arc, but to re-work that line here: the equatorial guinea nametag (i would say plaque but like. it’s a piece of paper) is a memento of their first time teaming up, but it is also a relic of their rivalry in a way - the initial anger of devi infiltrating his club, the temporary alliance that was struck down just hours later, the nuclear attack. and so, yes, “david” here is used as that mark of friendship, as i’ve referred to it before, and so is the nametag, but they’re also both a representation of their enmity - albeit in a much more playful way than the "david" from 2x05.
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i’m going to refer you to the genius of rae @ice-sculptures real quick, who had this to say in regards to ben’s patterns when it comes to what he calls her: “it could be that he “hides” behind david when the lines of their relationship are blurred and uses it as a way to convey the affection that he doesn’t think he can openly express. but when they actually get together he doesn’t need to hide anymore bc he knows that she’s aware of how much he loves her…so devi is enough.”
y’all. devi is enough. he doesn’t need to use a term of endearment, a pet name, with her here. he doesn’t need to hide behind “david.” and like. just in case you aren’t aware - “david” means “beloved” in hebrew. i’m sure ben’s aware of that - he’s a giant nerd, and he’s jewish - it never gets established in canon, so it may just be something we’re all collectively reading into, but like. i’m obviously going to continue reading into it - he doesn’t have to hide behind “beloved” anymore, he doesn’t have to use this roundabout way to tell her how he feels - he can just say it. and he says it without even knowing if she feels the same way. he’s following trent’s advice from 4x08: “you must go to her. [...] you must tell her how you feel. there's no time to waste. [...] you must speak your truth. she needs to know." he flies to her on a whim to tell her he likes her. actually, he thinks he loves her, “devi.” he loves her. this is the bravest thing he’s done - he doesn’t know how she feels, doesn’t know if she loves him back - but he tells her anyways. he can’t wait. it doesn’t matter that she’s flying to the east coast the next day, where she’ll be a two hour and six minute train ride away. he has to tell her now. there’s no time to waste. she needs to know.
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god. i just - i love that they already had this - this whole soft, sweet love confession, full of shy, gentle smiles and giggles, followed by The Big Damn Kiss of All Time (and like. the big damn bang of all time) and he still feels the need to tell her that he wants to be with her. that he wants to start this next chapter of life with her. and there’s just…something so important to me about them not being high school sweethearts. about them not really giving this an actual shot until they’re headed to college. he doesn’t want “let’s kiss at our lockers in between periods and sit next to each other in the cafeteria while we eat gloopy square-shaped pizza.” he wants “let’s fall asleep on facetime during exam season. let’s spend one weekend in new york and the next in new jersey. let’s meet in the middle. let’s cram ourselves onto a twin-sized dorm room bed that’s definitely not made for two people. let’s learn how to be adults together. let’s give this a real try. let’s give us a real try.”
and so they do.
and with that...we're done. if you've reached the end, thank you for reading! i'm so sad that this series of posts has come to an end, but i've had an absolute delight doing these, and i'm so pleased with the ending of this show - because it didn't feel like an ending. it felt like a new beginning. i'm going to miss never have i ever (i already do), but i'm so happy to have spent the past few years yelling about it with all of you - and i'll likely continue yelling about it in the near future.
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sukunasweetheart · 5 months
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Why do you like Sukuna so much?
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I was halfway through writing up a few paragraphs but i ended up scrapping it bc i ddint knwo what i was saying anymore. Hes just. My everything
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I JUAT LOVE HIM SAUR MUCH WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LOVE??#;@**# HES SO GRRRRAAAHHHHHHHH 💝💓💝💓💗💗💘💓💝💕💘💞💓💝💗💝💓💝💞💝💞💘💞💓💝💓💓💝💘💞💞💝💓💝💗💓💝💘💞💕💘💞💘💓💓💗💝💓💝💘💞💘💕💞💝💓💝💓💞💝💞💞💝💞💓💝💗💝💞💞💝💓💝💓💝💞💞
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kangaracha · 28 days
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daffodil + chan
a song
the prompt: daffodil (a god bows before a mortal)
read it on ao3
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"You have no power over me."
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running through his hands like water, and suddenly the earth is not his to control. The skies do not turn with the twist of his head, lightning does not fork in the air when his eyes, dark as night and yet still lit by some unearthly light, fall upon you, his mouth wide as if to gasp for a breath he cannot take-
And yet, still, it shivers down your spine; the magic that draws you here even as you rip it apart, the prize of your conquest to rip the world into two.
"Take it back," he hisses through his teeth, the ground trembling with every syllable that slides down his tongue. You watch his mouth as it forms the words, the flash of teeth behind thin lips reminding you of the way that the swordsman you'd fought through to get here had smiled at you - the last of his seven challenges, the last of his demons, or angels, or citizens of the sprawling, damned city he claimed as his kingdom.
And here you stood, at the pinnacle of the eighth, and stared him in the eye without cringing away because now you knew the truth. Now you knew that what he whispered in the dark was a lie and what you saw with your eyes wasn't always true, and though he may be a god and a king amongst beings that you could never hope to rival, a god can only hold as much power as you give him. A god can only claim dominion over a beast that bowed to his dogma. 
You see now that you are no beast. You are no believer in any lie he utters to the darkness.
"Take it back," he says again, the note of his voice changing. He pleads, his brow furrowing and his shoulders curling in as if waiting for the final blow. "Take it back now, before it's too late."
"I can't," you tell him, and you watch him fall to his knees, and you know that it's wrong and your heart pounds in your chest and it
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like the ground does at the impact of his knees, crumbling into the pieces it was in when you first took his hand, alone on the side of the road with only one thing to call your own. And what was that thing, the little warmth you'd held to your chest in the dark and the cold? What had you traded away for the comfort of the house that crumbled around you now? Why had you destroyed him to get it back, where was it now, why did it not appear within his hands at this, the hour of his reckoning?
"Please," he spits into the cold ground, the dirt and the leaves and the curl of ivy that grows up the walls around you, old and ancient and not yet sprouted from its roots all at the same time. His hands curl in the dirt like he can reach down and pull the earth to him, like he can stop the wane of his power if he just tries to hold on a little bit tighter. "I know what you want, and I don't have it. I can't lose-"
Broken, fragile thing. Small god of limited earth, crouched at your feet like he might worship you instead. You'd thought him all-powerful once, and then you'd thought him severe and his servants and beasts and playthings petty, and then you'd thought him
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because he'd smiled at you in the garden that bloomed from his own hands when you expressed your desire for a flower to tuck in the braid of your dark hair, and his hand had been soft in yours, and when he looked out across his kingdom and the clamouring faces of the people he'd brought to live there, he'd looked at them the same way that he'd looked at you.
Beneath your foot, the ground cracks, fracturing outwards like a spiderweb. It's your heart, you realise morosely, sinking from your chest and into the depths of the earth, disappearing with whatever he'd taken from you; and it was a wretched thing and it had betrayed you a hundred times over, but you still mourn at the loss of it and all the dreams it had carried with it. It blooms in your flowers in the corners of the room, embeds itself into the land and sings along with the song of his power, a thing you can hear but cannot touch, a beast once born that now does not belong to you.
"I'm sorry," he says, his breath like mist in the cold air, and even without your heart, you can't bear to see him so cold.
Your hands reach for him without permission, your body kneeling in the dirt before you can stand your feet firm upon the earth and refuse to move. He flinches away, but your fingers are soft upon his chin and the curve of his jaw, gentle when they brush the soft dip of his neck. "I only wanted to know what it was," you tell him with a voice that cannot hold itself steady. "I thought if you loved me, you would give it back." It's the only voice you have - you are not like him, or like Felix, speaking with many tongues. You don't have any power of your own.
"It's because I love you that I can't give it back." His voice is hoarse, every word a knife that he swallows without ever once flinching. "It's because I love you that I couldn't tell you what it was."
"But didn't I deserve to know?" you question. "Doesn't my life belong to me?"
Finally, his eyes rise, looking up at you with a fire that belies the cold of his skin. "Of course it does," he gasps, and his hand reaches up, dirt-stained fingers dragging at your cheek. "That's why I gave it to you, and I never asked for anything else."
"But you wouldn't give back what you took in the first place."
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The sudden violence of his voice crumbles the walls and fractures the sky, the clouds blooming te dark colours of a bruise. The absence of his hand on your cheek stings in the cold; his face turns away, screwed up in regret and a pain he won't allow you to feel. You lurch forward before he can disappear, drawing him into your arms; stiff shoulders, spine of beaten steel, slow beat of a heart you once held in your hands. 
He'd stood so tall and unmoving in the morning light, when you'd first walked down this path, and now in the dark of the setting sun and the ending of the earth, his weight slumps into your grasp, his resolve melting into the warmth of your body. "I didn't want you to suffer again," he says to the soft cotton of your shirt and the curve of your collarbone, his breath a whisper against your skin. "I couldn't watch that, when you asked me to make sure it would never happen again."
Surprise comes in the pause of your breath and the still of your arms, the jump of a heart you're not sure you still possess. "I asked you to make me forget?" you question the world behind his back, and into your neck, he sighs.
"You couldn't forget," he murmurs. "She was dead before I found you, and when I took her from your arms - you couldn't forget. There was nothing I could do to fix what had been broken. And then you begged me to let you forget, so I remembered her for you." He pauses, his throat hitching like he's swallowing something down. A sob maybe, or the tears he will never let fall. "I can't give her back though. She's not here anymore."
You push him upright, your hands on his shoulders, his neck, his face. Brushing away the hair that falls in his eyes, wiping at the blood that drips from the cut on his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, because the answer is incomprehensible. "Why did you let me go this far?"
"Because I was scared," he admits, and his teeth clench and his spine stiffens against the urge to hide away from you again. "Because I'm a wretched, evil, stupid thing who thinks they can-"
His words die in your throat; vile, wretched things that you store away to spit out later, into the ground where they belong. He is none of that; he is soft, and hesitant, until your fingers find the sharp curve of his hip and the lines of his back, dragging him closer and his lips open like there is nothing in the world to devour but you and
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imperatorrrrr · 2 months
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Twenty Two Games Left in the Season
Its two in the morning, I have New Jersey Devils thoughts, so here you go.
We have to remember last season was not the plan. I think this is the most important thing. If last season went how last season was expected to go (we're a bubble team potentially fighting for a wild card spot), this season actually doesn't look as bad as it does by comparison. This season is so disappointing because we're, of course, using the lens of last season and so is everyone else. Now. I'm not saying last season was a fluke. All I'm saying is last season really colors how we're perceiving the team this season and maybe we should put all of that into context.
We knew this season would be worse. I think we tend to forget that the expectation was always that this season was not going to be as miraculous as last season. There were no moves made over the summer for goaltending. Fitz decided that he was going to run a tandem of Schmiddy and VV. That..did not work out well for us. We also lost two veteran defensemen and replaced them with one rookie defenseman, Luke, and one basically rookie defenseman, Bahlers. Remember, Nemo was most likely not going to see many games this season. I mean, I'm so happy he did because he's a revelation, but Nemo was not supposed to be playing NHL games, not yet anyway. There are guys on the team that are having pretty bad regressions, but that's not indicative of a bigger problem, it happens.
Injuries. I cannot begin to emphasize how detrimental the injuries were this season. We have not been healthy once. Millsy was hurt in the preseason. My belief is he was always supposed to be the sixth defensemen and BSmith was gonna be our 7D. Haula wasn't one hundred percent to start. Nico gets hurt. Jack gets hurt. Timo gets hurt. We have Laser missing random games here and there. Pally gets hurt. Dougie gets hurt. Siegs gets hurt. BSmith gets hurt. Nosek hurt. Jack gets hurt again. I feel like that isn't even everyone?
Sixteen back to backs in one season. Yes, its an excuse. Yes, they should have learned how to play in back to backs. But like, come the fuck on, man. That is brutal scheduling. Absolutely brutal. Our record would look so different if we had like, I dunno, just ten back to backs instead of a league leading sixteen.
Lindy Ruff. I have already done my Ruff rant, but to summarize, that man does not know how to utilize his players properly. Until MM20 was forcibly removed from this team, Lindy was using Nico Hischier all wrong. Until recently, Timo has been used all wrong. Don't get me started on Holtzy. He overplays certain players and underplays others. He played the same goaltender on back to back nights. He doesn't switch out goalies until its too late. His defensive pair decisions are ass. And thats not even getting to the fact that his only in game strategy is to shorten the bench and/or change the lines. Its endless, really.
Now I know this sounds like I'm making a doom and gloom post, but hear me out.
It isn't over. We are still, somehow, in the playoff hunt. Can you believe, that even with all this adversity we've faced this season, there's still a chance they could squeak in?
Fundamentally, the team is not the issue. I think thats really important. I think there's been a lot of questions around whether last season was a fluke or that these aren't the guys that are going to lead the Devils to a Cup run. I truly don't think thats the case. Do we need a goalie? Yeah. But Dawsy is showing signs of being steady. Akira is showing signs of being steady. Even VV had a handful of good games before he was sidelined. They probably aren't our main guy moving forward, but I'm not going to sit here and hate on goalies man, thats absolutely not my MO. We have the pieces. We really, really have the pieces. When they're played correctly and put with the right linemates, our stars can really shine. Siegs was having a pretty brutal year, but you see him getting back to shades of himself when he's paired with Nemo. Kevvy was also having a bit of a bad year too, and his last, what, ten or so games, have been lights out. I think Johnny and Luke together really work. Loads of people were bemoaning the Timo trade and look he's played properly and he has like what four or five points in his last four or five games. You find the right line combos for our top six/top nine, and oh man can we really get cooking. There's going to be growing pains sure, but you have to remember how young this team is. But we have the pieces. We have our core. The elements are there. This team has the foundation to truly fly.
This young team is learning to deal with pressure. That is the main difference between last season and this season. There weren't any expectations for the Devils last season outside of whatever internal ones they had in their locker room, so everything was gravy. This season, however, this season you have a lot of external pressure. Being named Cup favorites or Cup contenders by every major NHL media source in the summer and in the lead up to the season, that is very new for the majority of the guys on this team. And they're gonna have to learn how to respond to it. And it may be painful. You know I'm the first person to rag on Lindy, but I think his comment about the pressure from the reporters leading to the unsuccessful powerplay was actually really telling. These Devils have not had to deal with any expectations. And now they do. And dealing with that mentally and not letting it affect your game is a learning process, its a growing process. How do you silence the doubt not only from the outside but internally within yourself? That isn't automatic. Each of these guys needs to figure it out. And they will. Together. This is not a case of these boys getting too high and mighty on themselves because everyone thought they'd cruise to the playoffs. No. Not at all. This is a case of being in a brand new position in the NHL and figuring out how to navigate it.
This season is not a disaster. Now, I'm not saying this season isn't cursed. It definitely is. But its not a disaster. Its not a write off. Its part of the process. Its part of our window. Our window, which remember, only really opened last season and even then it opened at least a season earlier than everyone expected, is at its very beginning stages. Its frustrating to see them seemingly "waste" a year of prime Jack, Nico, Jesper, Timo, et al, but its wrong to look at it as a waste. It isn't a waste. This is why they call it a window and not like a singular shot or whatever.
I think I'm ceasing to make sense now and it is past three in the morning, so I'm going to stop typing.
TL;DR: I love the New Jersey Devils. I will always love the New Jersey Devils. I refuse to hate this team. I refuse to say this team sucks. I refuse to give up on this team. We've had a tough season. It isn't over though. And I hope we get to see them play some fun hockey as we have a little over a month of regular season hockey left to play.
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wall-e-gorl · 11 months
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hellooooo ive made a uc fankid oc <3 more about her under the cut, so that this post isnt a mile long <3
her name is Dyllin, because i had to, and shes SO cute. Shes got a little lopsided grin, and one dimple, and the cutest smattering of freckles on her nose right where her fur starts to turn pink. Both Rian and Atty are trans, so they raised her gender neutrally until she could tell them who she was herself (thus atty using they for her in that one art), and when she was about 3 she said she was a girl and now she wears all the pretty flowy dresses she can get her hands on (uncle foq supplies many of them)!
in the art above shes: 14, 16 (colored in), 19? (lines), ambiguous age younger than 3, 5?, and also 5. I think that ill mainly draw her as a little kid or around 14, cause those ages are where more interesting dynamics happen with people. Lots of funny kiddy moments, and growing into your own person moments. Which! is what im about in fankids! beyond just drawing a cute kid and having fun with design (which im also all about but just to give an explaination for why im drawing her at those ages). I dont think i want to go into adult ages for her yet, cause for the moment its about her being a fankid for me.
She takes after Chet and mostly Foq much more in personality than either of her actual parents, so shes a very carefree happy-go-lucky kid. To Rian's absolute horror (see below, for their rage at finding out), Foq flounces his way into being a archfey and becomes her warlock patron when shes a little kid, but its alright Aunt Scenda is her cleric deity so shes got a balance for his chaos! (she doesnt balance shit but it does make rian not kill foq over the pact so! whatever works!)
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vvitchering · 1 year
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Everyone talking about their opinions re: Din's possession of the darksaber and his development (or lack therefore) and I wanna talk to so
Ever since he got the darksaber at the end of s2 I've been firmly in on the side of "Din should be Mand'alor", which was a topic the fandom seemed pretty evenly split over. A lot of people got hung up on his personal distaste for leadership and while I understand and see that I STILL think he was the best possible choice to be the new leader. And imo the show spent a ton of time reinforcing that!
Din IS a great leader, whether he likes it or not. He's calm under pressure, he's a fantastic negotiator, he's well versed in the ways of many different ways of life and cultures, and he's honorable yet flexible, I could go on and on. I also think narratively, at least as far as we got in mando s1-2 and tbobf, he was being set up as someone who could be the bridge between the more traditional mandalorians he was raised with and the rest of the scattered clans.
Din's personal journey was so fascinating. At least until S3 dropped the ball, it seemed like we were heading into a really interesting exploration of Din as a symbol of growth and change. His growth from a relatively sheltered personal existence to one that was shaped by all of his new experiences in protecting and raising Grogu and meeting all kinds of new people was one that I thought foreshadowed his becoming a great leader for his people.
There was so much room at the end of S2 to explore Din's changing relationship with his faith and Creed. Even the developments within tbobf added some really potentially amazing facets to that with the possibility of redemption existing within an old Mandalorian legend.
His journey to Mandalore should have been the bulk of S3, continuing with the adventure-of-the-week format, but peppering in more Mandalorian culture as Din learns more about himself and begins teaching Grogu about his adoptive culture. I've never been in favor of Din giving up his devotion to his Creed, but I have been thinking a lot about him altering his relationship with it and I think a tight focus on his struggle with figuring out this new perspective in light of everything that has happened to him so far would have been really emotionally rewarding.
And to wrap that all up with his eventual arrival on Mandalore could have been beautiful and epic. Finding the planet ravaged but not inhospitable to life, wandering the ruins of the city, and then finding his way into the mines to the Living Waters. Finding not a dark dank cavern with a museum plaque, but a sanctuary protected and preserved from the bombing of the surface by the sacred metal in its very foundation.
He walks into this beautiful place at the end of his journey, redemption for his sins right there within reach, and he reflects on what it means to be Mandalorian. Not the definition he was always taught, but what is means to HIM. What it will mean for his son. What it will mean for his scattered people.
And he does go through with the ritual bathing. He recites the Creed just as he did as a child, he walks into the water, and he doesn't feel much different for it. There's no big a-ha moment, no bright light shining down on him, no mythosaurs dragging him down, it's all a little underwhelming after all he's been through.
But as he's floating there, much more dressed down than he ended up being in the show, letting his vision adjust to being without the helmet, he notices there's murals all along the walls. The history of his people all laid out in brilliant color. Stories he's never heard, victories and defeats, heroes and villains, war and peace. His people were once mighty. They could be again.
And maybe he's STILL on the fence about it all, even after this experience. And it's not until he's drying off and watching Grogu splash in the shallow water that he realizes it's not about whether he wants to do it or not. Just as it wasn't really a choice to save Grogu from his fate, it's not really a choice to save his people. To revive their culture and their planet and bring everyone home again.
JUST imagine his speech that he gives to his covert but in the context of bringing their children home to live and play under their own system's sun.
The thing about Din is, from the get-go, he's a protector. He's a guardian, he's a caretaker, he can't help but want to help. A season devoted to further exploring his relationship with being Mandalorian and how that translates to his eventual decision to lead his people would have been sooooo so so good. I am literally always thinking about this and all the lost potential. He wouldn't even have had to STAY Mand'alor for this to work. He could have accomplished what he set out to do and then quietly stepped down and left the politics to someone else (NOT Bo-Katan, I still don't see any reason why she should be allowed anywhere near the throne after how much of her own fault it was the planet was lost in the first place, especially since she's clearly not interested in confronting or even admitting her guilt)
Like. Literally every fan theory I've seen about what S3 could have been is 100x better than what we've gotten. I have to believe its intentional sabotage at this point because no other explanation makes sense. This could have been an absolutely AMAZING season if it had followed up on any of the plot points it spent two and a half seasons establishing.
):
anyway id love to hear your theories and what you would have done with this season given the chance! Tell me your thoughts!!!!
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splickedylit · 1 year
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If the creators of Eyeshield 21 didn't want me to imprint on Kongo Unsui like a baby chick why was he 1. a tragic repressed monk man 2. really buff+sad eyes+big arched nose+killer jawline 3. just a little bit scary and evil sometimes 4. dragon-themed.
Anyway having reread now as a fully pupated Grownup Queer and talked it over with @toastyglow; college Hiruma/Unsui supremacy. I think they should explore each other's bodies and also put each other through increasingly convoluted romantic mindgames between pitched life or death football games. If only because it would make Agon SO angry. (edit: more of this lol)
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justa-moth · 10 months
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alright masses (aka the two i lured in with my gillion has two hands post: @sapphofinch and @kingpascal) how do we feel abt me writing a fic where like,,,,
ok so chip and gillion dating right? YIPPIE ! and then they meet caspian and gillion goes wait hang on. the same thing i feel for chip i also feel for caspian?? he thinks maybe hes just excited to see another one of his kind on the oversea, so he waits it out. then realizes nothing changed, in fact his feelings have gotten more aggresive over time.
eventually chip corners him, he asks whats wrong because he can tell gillions hiding something. gillion eventually confesses its because of feelings he cant quite describe for caspian. chip then helps gillion realize that those feelings are totally romantic. gillion begins to maybe feel guilty, like he feels he may be cheating on chip (like in that one episode where he mentions that polyamory is punishable by death or smth) because of pressure from the elders. so he immediately freaks out
but then chip is like wait wait hold on. i actually dont mind this. chip ponders his orb for a second, thinks abt it, then goes "yeah fuck it". chip i feel like wouldnt at all care, like he wouldnt feel jealous. but gillions still scared and doesnt want to talk to caspian.
so chip says well fuck you then, he shoves gillion towards caspian and is like "heyyyyy gil has smth to talk to you aboouttttt". gillion very messily confesses, with some help from chip, and they describe how like caspians not dating chip, theyre just both simultaniously dating gillion. and caspians like hell yeah.
and then YIPPIE gillion gets to have both of his hands held lovingly
(bonus points, lizzie and jay totally had a side bet going on on who would confess to who)(lizzie bets on caspian and jay votes on gillion)
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kingdom-dance · 4 months
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Realizing that Minthara is a Baenre and therefore from the same House as Ady’s Buncle (Chaotic Bisexual uncle-but-not also known more famously as Jarlaxle) and she killed her by taking the bridge out from under her like its fucking Looney Tunes
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daenystheedreamer · 10 months
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cersei smugly answers all her anon hate with three paragraphs about how the children on this website don’t understand how to interact with adult fiction and how antishipping is a plague against artistic expression and fiction doesn’t equal reality and wincest shipping is more supported by the text than any other pairing. she clicks post and immediately fucks her twin
she goes ugh🙄these BRATS dont know how to seperate fiction from reality. meanwhile she's using her politician/billionaire/war criminal father's influence to blackmail the creators of her favourite show to include more incest. she posts a tirade about how the children are ruining queer media and are homophobically censoring content Cut to her telling renly he needs to settle down with a woman and just quietly hire rent boys like a normal person instead of ruining the conservative reputation of her father by dating slutty instagram bodybuilder models
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shameboree · 1 year
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ATTIC GOBLIN ?
YEAH SO when we moved in there was like this wadded up pair of pink panties in the basement that hadnt been there a few days before when we did our final walkthrough or whatever right. and then my fuzzy socks would go missing and some leggings and then our fucking FORKS which were DISCONTINUED so we cant even replace them!!!!! also the toilet paper would run out like super fast and i drink A Lot of diet dr pepper so i DO pee a lot but this was just fucken ridiculous!!!!! anyway so our one old roommate suggested ghost but me n polks were like fuck off this is OUR house!!
anyway so one day im slumped down on the couch w earbuds in having a good time and my friend kos comes downstairs to brew his sleepy ass some fresh shit tier coffee at like 5pm on a weekday. tbh i was talking about one of my homebrew blorbos being harassed and having just a great time with it so i didnt want to speak to anyone and just EXTREMELY avoided eye contact n sank as deep as i could into the bigass pillows of our honestly very nice goodwill upper middle class grandma couch. the point of that is when you walk downstairs and turn into the kitchen you cant really see me at this angle and i am DEAD SILENT bc my keyboard was apparently made of marshmallows or smth AND im metal gear box stealth mode trying to not be noticed here so i can talk about my barbies being menaced uninterrupted.
SO because of all that when kos came back downstairs for his coffee which had been brewing for probably not very long but i was in the Blorbo Zone where time is fake so i couldnt in good faith give an estimate he did NOT see me. well while hes in the kitchen puttering around i just start losing my shit on account of my blorbarbies in agonies brings me Such Joys and i think this startled him so bad he has to take a stress shower because i heard the bathroom door SLAM and the water start running. at some point after this polks comes home from work and starts pissed off nagging us over WHO MADE THIS COFFEE MESS IN MY KITCHEN!! kos comes downstairs for the Commotions and apparently the coffee pot was sitting on the counter with some fresh coffees while the rest of it fresh waterfalled all into our silverware and pots n pans spaces HOWEVER!! MYSTERY TIME!! he has not been downstairs since he started brewing his trash sludge.
INTERMISSION: THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT OUR HOUSE: the back door is literally INCHES from the downstairs bathroom. the attic is not a panel or ceiling access its just a door right by all our bedroom doors and it wont latch which was So Annoying bc the cats were UNREASONABLE THIRSTY to get up there so we had to install a loop n hook latch to keep it shut but whichever one of us did that goofed it up pretty bad bc the door is still perpetually cracked open like probably a full inch and a half. id love to take the credit for this but i think it was polks who is absolutely phenomenal at fucking up installations of things. OTHER NOTABLE THINGS ABOUT POLKS: her single biggest fear on this planet is shit like Crawlspace Man. just Some Guy living in your home without you knowing. also we have a dark little crawlspace down in the basement, for ambience
MOVING ON at this point i still dont give a shit about anything happening around me because i am inflicting sufferings upon my from scratch blorbo BUT my brain is putting the pieces together which i then immediately do a toddler vs 1000 piece puzzle it took you a year to assemble and just totally waste that shit from my thinkspace bc i wanna play DOLLS instead. polks and kos are also putting their little pieces together but they are Not braindead dipstick idiots like yours truly so they decide to check the whole haus bottom up, starting with the crawlspace. great news! the crawlspace is empty!! other older news: i def heard the cabinet ruining coffee fuckuper come down from upstairs.
i forgot to mention that for this househunt polks armed herself with our fucking broom and was wielding it handle side out because It Has Reach and a knife would Escalate The Situation. anyway they make their way upstairs and i am doing absolute jackshit nothing to help because, again, i am fucking brain poisoned to prioritize oc cummies over every single thing on this planet. its in my fucking genetic code. so while im fuckin useless theyre up there talking about how fucking weird this is and scuffling around or whatever but the second they go into the attic its dead silent and NOT because they go silent but because the attic is some fucked up sound void and past the first 3 steps you can hear total fuck all from outside. at this point my little toddler brain realizes this puzzle is actually indestructible so when kos and polkie are out of the void audible again i Already Knew i had to start being a fucking adult instead of playing barbies which DID feel like a personal affront.
tbh i dont even remember how polks reacted bc i was so CMON MAN!! at our attic dweller for cucking me bc now i gotta call the fuckin cops AND change the locks AND i still gotta get up at 420 in the mother blessed am for work, so basically this entire stunt was a hate crime against me specifically.
we dont really go in our attic much and never even bothered fetching the cats when they went up there but we HAD been up there before so when i went up there and saw fuckin blankets and takeout containers and also some clothes stuffed into drafty holes it was like, kind of Obvious that yeah some bitch was stealing my forks and not paying rent and eating all my toilet paper and FOR SOME REASON had the audacity to ALSO go ahead and pour out a cup of coffee in BROAD DAYLIGHT while we were OBVIOUSLY HOME. the fucking NERVE!!
so!! thats our Event that i honestly forget happened most of the time. we actually refer to them as Attic Dobby i think on account of my THIEVED socks but then of course attic dobby became sexy dobby as is the natural progression of things. we have many big tity dobbie drawings around the house and we love to show them to guests. i may have lost some forks i cant fucking replace so ill never have a matching set again BUT now my house has so many slutty big tit thong and louboutin adorned dobbys that kos and i have bonded so much over drawing that it all evens out in the end and i definitely dont get mad about the forks ever. less important than dobbys big naturals but still notable: exposure therapy works as polks no longer has the Crawlspace Man Terrors!
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wantbytaemin · 6 months
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my god i just woke up from THE most detailed gentle and heartbreaking dream about jinki im in my bed like 😮 what was THAT
#so it was way too detailed for me to get into everything but it started with him being sad and like not wanting to speak to anyone#and i was sitting on the floor doing some writing & was like hi come here so he sat down like in between my legs and rested against me#i asked if he wanted to talk but he didn’t so i let it be and kept writing but couldn’t really focus#and then minho got there and was like ‘oh good he’s here’ and i was like what happened#and minho explained that like they were planning to do a world tour and album as shinee but jinki didn’t want to participate bc of the way#it was being handled#like there was a promo poster that was super insensitive towards jonghyun too#and a bunch of other things and then it flashed back to jinki filming a teaser for the tour and it was super intricate and too much for me#to type up right now but he looked so happy & smiley#like to make a point that he had wanted to be there until all the shit went down#and then it flashed back to me holding him and i stopped writing (or pretending to anyway) and just held him#there was no minho at that point and it felt like it was hours#and now i’m up and Shaken a little. not to be off the rails you’ll understand as I’m still affected by the dream but like it was so nice to#see him smile im still feeling the feeling like. relief and joy whew whatever he’s doing rn i hope he takes all the time in the world if he#needs/wants to & im grateful to have seen him smile even as a dream
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