#i would eat this up

[historiaxvanserra]

I have been thinking (dangerous, I know) but imagine rhys x hewn city reader but it's acutally....

feysand x hewn city reader

the drama. the sex appeal. the drama!

Rhys being 'forced' to take a mistress from Hewn City to appease the CoN. The tension between Feyre and Reader. Rhysand's mask slowly slipping as he realises he's starting to care about the reader more than he's willing to admit. The inner turmoil as he wrestles with his growing affection for reader and his love for his Mate. The reveal that Feyre feels just the same. The tension and angst the reader feels like she's being pulled in two different directiosn. Destined to break her own heart by denying her feelings or giving into temptation. The scheming of her family in Hewn City.

#i'm NOT okay #I would eat this up #if i wasn't the one that was writing

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?

#i would like to Squeeze Him Full Strength #look at him!!! so proud that he tracked mud everywhere!!! what a good boy!!!! #listen listen. im a cat person. but barnaby..... #in my mind ms beagle is trying to be stern but hes just So Darn Cute #we are ms beagle pov #scribble garnish #welcome home #barnaby b beagle #welcome home puppet show #no okay but real talk the potential of barnaby's backstory has me close to tears #like hes just a little orphaned puppy... he was ORPHANED #WHAT A FUCKING DETAIL TO INCLUDE LIKE???? OWIE???? #did she find him in a waterlogged cardboard box in the rain... just a lil puppy abandoned by the roadside.... #OHHHHHH IM GONNA TEAR UP IF I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT #who would abandon such a sweet boy.... #listen im weak to animals #but im Especially weak to innocent lil bby animals who are abandoned/orphaned... #like theyre just little guys who deserve all the love in the world... pure and full of love... discarded.... #WAILING AND SOBBING AND EATING YARN LIKE SPAGHETTI

[terroristiraqi]

i hate what diet culture has done to ethnic food my ancestors (my GRANDPARENTS) ate rice and injera and bread and coffee all the time and they turned out fine. i hate white people

#this is why i gave up on dieting honestly i saw all these recipes and none of them were in any way seasoned or nonwhite #im so sorry. i would rather live happy than having to eat unseasoned overcooked chicken #'you cant add seasoning because of calories' calories from the tbsp each of paprika and camun do not make a dent baby girl

[caramel-cream50]

#how we feeling #hazbin Hotel & Good Omens Fans Where r u?? #i thought it would be funny #it’s so true #i eat it up every time #good omens #david tennant #ineffable husbands #hazbin hotel #alastor #angel dust #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel show #fandom shit #viziepop

[egophiliac]

i love your riddle design so much, he's so pointy and british. so gracious. do you think he would enjoy a brazilian goiabada

thank you! ❤️🖤❤️ it's just. important to me on a level I can't explain that Riddle have an extremely pointy nose that he can stick into everyone else's business.

also goiabada is sweet and fruity and red, I think he would like it very much indeed!

not me stealth-editing because I forgot his antenna whoops

#art #twisted wonderland #me: riddle's nose is important to me (draws him without a nose) #a study in contrasts? #regardless it is my power as a fanartist to let riddle eat sweets and by god i'm going to use it #i also love british riddle. briddle. it's just RIGHT. #i think about how someday the anime will come out and get dubbed and riddle is going to have Generic Anime Boy Voice #instead of the most over-the-top prim little benedict cumberbatch accent like he does in my HEART #and the world shall be poorer for it. alas. #i also think it would be VERY funny if malleus had a super exaggerated french accent because something something french fairytale #i am probably alone in this however #(sorry still trying to catch up on everything!) #(all of my focus has been going towards Deadlines so hopefully i will have space to think...eventually :') #(i still have some main story things cookin' and i JUST finished tsumsted 3: the squeakquel so uhhh) #(there may be a bit of a flood at some point. you've been warned.)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

#fantasy high junior year #fhjy #riz gukgak #figueroth faeth #sklonda gukgak #dimension 20 #this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really. #I am very normal about riz (<- lying) #it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth) #riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the #majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job #and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous #like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time #not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day #and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize #you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working #this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me #the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society #holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense #anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir

[chappelroans]

missing someone bad for you

trista mateer / trista mateer / sue zhao / u.k / u.k / clementine von radics / trista mateer

#web weaving #webweaving #on loneliness #on grief #on missing someone #on love #quotes #poetry #text #i miss them so bad it aches! i want to cry in their lap again! i want to tell them about everything! i want the world to stop ending! #i was treated like a dog. i left on my own but i still miss the doghouse in the backyard #it wasn’t much but it was something. i should’ve taken what little i could get. i didn’t know that i would leave and get nothing instead #the decision to eat nothing instead of the scraps on the floor is insane. and now i’ve got nobody and we’ll never talk again #there’s a person with half of my soul walking around and i can’t do shit about it #i forget them for a moment but then i see them in my instagram notifs and i blow up the world

[thedevilundercover]

There’s such an easy way to wrangle all of the Batchildren. Bruce, take some notes: stickers

Especially the golden star stickers. If you pull one of those out? All of them are going fucking feral

Maybe he learnt it from some other single mom of too many kids™️ at some PTA meeting or whatever

*clears throat* here’s a demonstration of what I think would happen.

Batman: I have acquired some new knowledge and have decided to implement them into our training

Batchildren: yeah; ok; whatever; no one cares

Batman, pulls out some stickers from his bat pouches™️:

All of the fucking Batchildren: *going feral, ballistic over the stickers, actually listen for once*

#I’m in hs and my class eats that shit up bro #I would love to get some stickers :) #Man I’d be a great parent #tim drake #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #red robin #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #batfam #dcu #duke thomas #cassandra cain #steph brown #stephanie brown #nightwing #dc robin

[theminecraftbee]

incidentally. every time i see someone speculating about "what if the season ends soon". i know we're safe for the time being and don't have to worry. because tango doesn't understand the idea of "good enough" and as a result if the season ends before decked out 2 has been played for its entire two-month run, he legally would be allowed to become a serial killer. and like, he lives near impulse and skizz, and maybe they're acceptable losses, but the entire state of arizona isn't. and who knows. maybe more. and the hermits can't be responsible for tango murdering the entire state of arizona (and who knows maybe more). they just can't. so the season can't end yet. because decked out 2 isn't done. and hasn't been played for its entire run yet. because the fate of arizona depends on it. you understand, right?

#hermitcraft #tangotek #is this funnier if i remembered what state tango lives in wrong #anyway also joe's pinball machine isn't done yet and I PERSONALLY would become a serial killer if he doesn't get the chance to finish more #but i've seen some 'huh it seems like lots of people are wrapping up' talk in a few places #and listen. tango would be allowed to start eating people. we can't be responsible for that.

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

So this is very self indulging. These are my vacation photos turned into the Tokyo 5 messing around. Makes me crave summer and my friends <3

#Tokyo 5 #they would be the gang that goes to a beach and destroys the locals in a beach volleyball turnament #shoko having to heal satorus cancerous sunbrun because he refuses to put on sunscreen #nanami burries in the sand up to his neck habara as revenge #girls would be SWOONING over geto surfing #i also think alot about how shoko wasnt in okinawa #and how shed hold a grudge against the boys #“comon shoko it was a mission it wasnt our idea to leave you behind” #“oh i know but you still can eat shit” sprays the boys with a water gun #haibara yu #nanammi kento #satoru gojo #suguru geto #shoko ieiri #shenanegans #jjk #fanart #jujutsu kaisen

[anistarrose]

pokemon fans after explaining to arceus (gamefreak) why their fave should be the next character to experience indescribable trauma, severe memory loss, separation from friends/family, and most importantly a surge in angsty fanworks:

[ID from alt: an edit of the "put that thing back where it came from or so help me" meme from Monsters Inc, where the caption has been changed to: "Put that thing in 1800s Paris or so help me". End description.]

#pokemon #pokemon legends za #this is about me i'm pokemon fans #if it's not a frontier brain i want it to be gladion or lillie. bc it would emotionally ruin me for the rest of my life and i crave that #obviously i'll eat it up if it's emmet though. gamefreak has the potential to be so funny

[ashleyeveerson]

Haven't been able to think about anything other than the victorian/edwardian/WW1 twink and his 80's punk almost-boyfriend for a week, send help

#this tv show has consumed my every thought #it's like tumblr catnip #go watch it #it will eat away at your brain #there's also a butch lesbian butcher #an autistic manga loving weirdo (my beloved) #and a badass psychic who's also a mess #WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT? #updating the post bc the reblogs lead me on a WILD wiki rabbit hole about the eras of England #okay so Edwin is born in 1900 which means he was born 1 year before the end of the Victorian era (1837-1901) so technically he's a victoria #baby who lived his childhood in the Edwardian era (1901-1910) and his teens in the pre/start of WW1 era (started in 1914) #until he was killed :( in 1916 #so my boy here lived though MANY historical events and time periods #shout out to my victorian/edwardian/WW1 twink #history is very fun and this is why i love this website bc where else would i have to do research for my blorbo? #I do however find it very funny if Gaiman named him Edwin in honour of the Edwardian time period he grew up in #I love that man and it wouldn't surprise me if he turned out to be a history nerd (affectionate) like the rest of you #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko dbd #dbd #please feel free to dm me about history i adore it

[chamoemileclown]

team red egg is now real

#this guy is so stupid i think they would eat sand for fun #the file name I kept all my textures in is just “stupidfucker” because I couldn't come up with a name for this guy #also i have to make the legs like stupid long whenever I render and egg sitting its so fucking funny #qsmp #qsmp fanart #qsmp art #qsmp eggs #qsmp purgatory #qsmp red team #qsmp team bolas #qsmp team red #bolas rojas #team bolas

[quesadilla-day]

delicious jade 😋yummy yummy 😍

#genshin impact #nahida #wanderer #scaramouche #baizhu #qiqi #he's a robot right he can eat that #it's fine #changsheng #art #mine #ummy ummy #YUM YUM #i love to headcanon him eating/drinking strange things #his teapot line about the tea is just crazy #they could've been making him drink ANYTHING and he would have just done it LMAO #motor oil! #gasolina! #fuckin... swamp juice! #kabukimono fresh out of shakkei pavilion eating bugs #eating ROCKS #TT_TT #it would be really funny if he could digest it too #which brings me to #nahida is a plant right so does she eat dirt? #like she eats human food too #BUT. nahida the water drinker the huge water enthusiast #water sunlight and soil baybeee #still thinking about how nahida straight-up turned into a fungus WTF that was so wild #like what the fuck seriously