#i'm sorry i had to ruin your character in this fic it was necessary for the plot

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hi Lost!

I've been in the eruri fandom relatively recently, yet I found myself very much in what you and someone else said on Twitter about not feeling connected to the new turn taken by the fandom. While I still enjoy the amazing fanworks, sometimes it's hard to find people who share my vision of the dynamics and characterisation of these two characters.

My question is: how do you think it has changed from a few years ago?

Unfortunately, I didn't live through the 'golden age' of the time when Erwin was still alive in the manga/anime, but having read a considerable amount of fanfiction (especially the good old ones), I couldn't help but notice a huge change in the interpretation of the characters, especially on Twitter. I'm pretty sure that the popularity of certain headcanons is a result of the "Twitter dynamics", since I noticed it happen in other fandoms as well - sometimes it was necessary to take a step back and enjoy my characters and ships in a small corner to not ruin my love for them.

Sorry to bother you (and sorry for my English!), I'm very curious to know your opinion!

Anon asked:

Hello Lost! I noticed the talk on twitter regarding the Eruri fandom having changed and I would love to get your insight on this. I’m one of the newer fans (only a year) so my perspective isn’t as broad. I do personally have noticed sides of the fandom where their traits are represented differently, but I felt like the overall perception is Eruri being a very healthy, loving and balanced ship. Just the perfect one really <3 I love your works and hope you don’t feel alienated!

I hope you don’t mind me answering these two asks together, because they’re both referring to a slightly throw away comment I made in response to a friend on twitter yesterday about how the current popular interpretation of the characters is very different from the one I fell in love with. 

Before I go any further, this absolutely isn’t about policing anyone’s interpretation of the characters.  There is no “right” or “wrong” way to write Erwin and Levi’s characters, fandom is all about transformative works.  Everyone is free to read and write whatever they want and I would absolutely encourage them to do so.  The Eruri fandom is a big diverse space, and it’s been amazing to see the new influx of fans over the last couple of years.  I’m sure we’ll be welcoming even more when the final season of the anime starts airing. 

Understandably though, the fandom’s perception(s) of the characters has changed and evolved over time as the canon storylines developed. Once the manga ended though, and plot lines and character arcs were resolved (more or less), characters were freed from the canon storyline and characterisation to some extent.  Fandom has always been about transformation so it’s to be expected that popular fanon characterization will drift from canon over time once the source material has ended.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that the popularity of different tropes can differ wildly depending on the point that you join a particular fandom. For example it wasn’t uncommon for Erwin to be portrayed as cold, ruthless and manipulative in the early days of the fandom, which is hardly surprising because there wasn’t a great deal to go on. Once Isayama really started exploring his character from the Uprising Arc onwards, he tended to be portrayed much more sympathetically and with greater depth. More recently, ruthless manipulative Erwin tropes have had a resurgence of popularity in Marley set fics. I’m not a huge fan of this trope because it kinda gives me dejavu, but I can appreciate why other fans enjoy exploring it.  It’s just not for me.  

If change is inevitable in fandom, so is nostalgia.  Whenever you join an active fandom, there’s always a bit of a feeling that you’ve missed out on the glory days.  At the same time, as the fandom moves on, you’re likely to find yourself harking back to your own glory days.  I think this is also why there is a tendency to feel that a fandom is “dying” when in actual fact it’s usually just changing. 

From my perspective, I came to the SnK in late 2015 and followed the manga and related canon content from about chapter 78 onwards, so Midnight Sun and the serum bowl was one of the defining moments of the fandom for me.  It irrevocably coloured my perception of Erwin and Levi’s relationship with each other, and also their relationship to the Shiganshina Trio. Though I would never want to live through that pain again, I can’t help having a fondness for fics that were written around that time.  I also freely confess to being very picky, and a bit stuck in my ways when it comes to the fic I read and write. I tend to read fics I love over and over again, which is one of the reasons I’ve always felt I’m the absolute worst person to be doing fic recs! 

Anyway, thank you both for your kind asks, you're both very sweet.  I have no doubt that the Eruri fandom will continue changing and evolving, and I hope you enjoy your time here with this amazing ship. Whether I’m in step or out of step with the popular tropes of the day doesn’t greatly matter, I’m just going to be here doing my thing for a little while longer at least.

PS @stand-on-the-horizon I forgot to add, I think you're absolutely right about the effect of "Twitter dymanics" on the ubiquity of certain character tropes. And I also agree 1000% that fandom is best experienced by finding a small group of weirdos who enjoy the same characterisation, kinks and tropes as you and hanging out with them.

#asks #fandom #eruri #snk

[0bstinate]

Do you have any batfam and/or bat ship fic recs ? 🥺

hey anon! sorry it took a while for me to answer this ask. but here are all the batfam / jaydick fics i've bookmarked on ao3:

batfam:

Five Times Jason Todd Saved His Brothers, and One Time They Saved Him by laceymcbain, reena_jenkins

summary:

“Did you know I was in here, or did you just blow up the place for fun?”

Damian didn't need to see Todd's face to know he was grinning under the helmet.

“It's not really a rescue unless something blows up. But if Bats asks, it was completely necessary."

commentary: amazing characterization, lots of BAMF Jason and family feels. also, the writing is very easy to follow and get immersed in!

Bird by Bird by laceymcbain

summary:

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

commentary: amazing characterization once again, the hurt/comfort is an added bonus, also i just really love how the author writes Jason lol

Incident, Coincidence, Pattern by laceymcbain, reena_jenkins

summary:

"If once is an incident, twice is coincidence, and three times is a pattern, what's four?" Tim asked.

"A mistake," Jason said between clenched teeth. "A big mistake."

commentary: i loved the start of the fic so much, the imagery was something i couldn't get out of my head

The Art of Bird Metaphor by lowflyingfruit

sumamry:

Batman works alone. Everyone knows that. What Jason's learning is that he also has a penchant for picking up strays. And while Jason's just your common or garden Gotham street rat, Bruce's other stray, Richard, is an ex-assassin for the Court of Owls. An ex-assassin for the Court of Owls who hates Jason's guts.

Adjusting to life in Wayne Manor was hard enough already.

commentary:

some batfam feels, i don't really remember much about the fic aside form the fact that it's one of the first batfam fics i've bookmarked lol

jaydick:

The Time After I'm Gone by GraySonOfGotham

summary:

Jason Todd, Robin, 15-year-old Boy Wonder meets Dick Grayson, Nightwing, 28-year-old Golden Boy, ten years in the future.

This is not the Jason Dick knows. This Jason is happy, spunky, has spirit and soul. This is the Jason Dick longs to protect, to reassure. This is the Jason of Dick's past.

But here he is now, oblivious to what future awaits him, and Dick does not have the heart to spoil the boy's happiness nor does he want to let him go to his fate.

commentary: this was THE jaydick fic anon. one of my most favorite fics that had me crying at 3 am from the angst and feels. this fic pretty much ruined me, but it's okay because it was THAT good! highly recommend reading!

copy by orphan_account

summary:

She said he would be thirteen years younger. Damian was planning to go after him in three. He showed up in one.

Damian's brother wants only one thing, to destroy Damian and take everything he has. One of those things just happens to be Dick Grayson.

commentary:

okay this fic is pretty twisted, so please check the tags for all the content warnings! the character study in this fic is amazing, the author made the antagonist very unnerving for a reason, and the overall dark theme had me binge reading this fic in one sitting lmao

Pretty Bird by Sevidri

summary:

Dick and Jason have a run-in with a sorceress. Things take a turn for the unexpectedly horrifying.

commentary:

the body horror was captivating! it's a short read, but you'll definitely think about the fic for a long time! (honestly wished the author made the fic longer)

A Love Triangle With The Same Person by Chrystie, kate882

summary:

Dick might have a bit of a thing for Jason, one of Red Hood's criminal underlings. But he's also already a little in love with Red Hood.

commentary:

i wasn't really into identity porn before, but this author changed my mind with how good this fic is! i highly recommend checking out their other works! the way they also wrote the romance between Jason and Dick is just *chef's kiss*

(that's it for now, i know i still have a bunch of other fics in my bookmarks but i can't really remember all of them, so hopefully these fics will suffice for now! make sure to read all the tags before reading each fic anon and i hope you have fun reading all of them!

feel free to chat/message me your thoughts about the fics! i'd love to talk about them with you!)

#anon #answered #i should really reorganize my tags tbh

[camgoloud]

for the fanfic ask game: 7 for shovel talk (in f major) and 2 & 4 for do my friends think i'm dying (or do i just need to go to sleep)

thanks for the ask! Sorry in advance, this one is a bit long—I went on about shovel talk for Definitely Longer Than Necessary… I’ll start with the answers for “Do my friends think I’m dying? (or do I just need to go to sleep?)” because those will be quicker:

2: What scene did you first put down?

Ahhh so this one is a bit weird to think of in terms of scenes because it is. a mocked-up reddit post lol… I know that the Very first thing I wrote was Colin’s initial “post” outlining the situation… but then when I was trying to come up with various Types of comments that should go on the post and work out a logical order for them to show up in, I think the first group of comments I actually planned and wrote out in real detail was maaaaybe the one starting with u/oliver_bongwell like “sorry but can anyone else not focus on op’s question because they’re too weirded out by his descriptions of his workplace environment,” which then sparked a whole series of replies from redditors trying to figure out what Colin does for a living lmao

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Oh, HANDS down “Hey op, dm me, I have a question” from u/baz_richmondtillidie just because I was so delighted with myself when I was trying to figure out how on earth to conclude a “fic” without a real narrative and then suddenly had the Best Possible Idea… but honorable mentions definitely go to our friend u/oliver_bongwell’s “jesus op it's a good thing you've been in therapy. maybe take this problem back there though. not that I’m not living for this drama because I am but I’m just saying it seems like there’s a Lot going on here. lot of words etc” and Colin’s “No one is listening to me, I'm like at least 70% sure I'm not getting fired.”

And now, regarding “shovel talk (in f major)”:

7: Where did the title come from?

Ah, yes, this one 😂 short answer: I was trying to be funny; medium answer: I was trying to be funny and a bit heartbreaking at the same time; long answer requires a bit of context, probably, because I know this isn’t your fandom… (also, it’s going to contain spoilers for series, so if you don’t actually want those you can just skip the rest of this post and I’ll give you a shorter version in dms or something lol)

So, the character Juno Zeta is the mother of another character named Palamedes Sextus, to whom the narrator of this fic, one Camilla Hect, is about to swear what is essentially an Oath Of Lifelong Companionship And Servitude that is taken VERY seriously in-universe (as in, part of the ceremony is going to involve Camilla and Palamedes telling each other “one flesh, one end” in front of a bunch of witnesses, and those words AREN’T ALWAYS MEANT METAPHORICALLY :/). Palamedes is very much a child-genius-do-the-impossible-type character (this fic is set when he and Cam are twelve; he’s basically in charge of Planet Academia by two years later) and in this he canonically takes after his mother a lot. This fic is basically Juno Zeta telling Camilla, only mostly-jokingly, “are you SURE you want to commit to my disaster son? You have so much potential and I’d hate to see you tied to the kind of person who I know from personal experience might very well get you killed with his reckless can-do attitude—or, at the very least, he will get HIMSELF killed, and then you’ll have to deal with the consequences and be very sad about it*”.

*SPOILER ALERT: He does, in fact, do exactly this. It is, in fact, EXTREMELY tragic, and Camilla is VERY very sad about it, and it kind of ruins the entire rest of her life in many ways. Juno Zeta doesn’t want to say she told you so, but…

Anyway. So, on the most basic level, the fic is a “shovel talk” in the sense that the whole thing is a conversation in which someone’s mother gives someone else a warning about What Might Happen To You If You Get Involved With My Son. But it’s a shovel talk with a major twist, in that the mother is saying all of this NOT for the benefit of her son (she has reason to believe that her son would actually be a lot better off in the hands of Camilla, who is a dangerously competent individual) but for Camilla’s sake. Hence the humor; the tragic part is that Juno Zeta says a lot of Eerily Prescient things as she is shovel-talking that reflect the actual canon ending of Palamedes and Camilla’s story, and that those warnings go LARGELY UNHEEDED… This is where the “(in f major)” half of the title comes in, which I suspect is the part you were actually curious about. Unfortunately, Juno Zeta fails in her mission: f for failure; f also for “F in chat,” pay respect to Zeta, who tried so hard to intervene in the tragedy of Camilla-and-Palamedes and wasn’t able to stop things from going exactly as she was afraid they would anyway. (Lol—really I just liked the sound of it; I thought it sounded funny and charmingly whimsical tacked onto the end of the title, and I was in a VERY weird mood at the time of posting, because it was the night before the latest book in the series came out and I was high on adrenaline from anticipation and from having spent literally all day at the computer trying to finish banging out my last Camilla Hect tribute fic before who-knew-what-shit went down in the next book)

Thanks again for asking!

(ask game here)

#my writing #ask game #ted lasso #the locked tomb #colin hughes #camilla hect #juno zeta #palamedes sextus

[caffeine-clouds]

Hi there, it's Carly again. I'm really sorry to do this, but I have to say it.

I really enjoyed Butterfly Effect when it started. While the story started off strong, the random romances and couples that were introduced later on ended up ruining the experience for me.

At the beginning, I was drawn in by the well-developed characters and the intriguing plot. The setting was also beautifully described, and I felt like I was transported into a completely different world. It was engaging and made it easy for me to get lost in the story.

However, as the story progressed, the introduction of random romantic relationships between characters felt forced and took away from the main plot. It seemed like you were trying to add unnecessary drama and conflict, which made the story feel disjointed and lost its focus. I couldn't help but feel like you were just trying to satisfy your own shipping of characters rather than focusing on what would serve the story best. It seemed like some of the romantic pairings were forced into the narrative without much thought, simply because you wanted them to be together.

The couples themselves also felt underdeveloped and lacked chemistry, making it difficult for me to care about their relationships. Instead of adding depth to the story, these romances distracted from the main plot and left me feeling unsatisfied with the overall experience.

As a reader, I wanted to be invested in the story and characters, not your personal preferences. Unfortunately, the random romances left me feeling like you were more concerned with your own satisfaction than the satisfaction of the readers.

Another issue that I had is the story is going on for too long. While the story started off strong, it's now dragging on, and I found myself losing interest.

The pacing of the story felt off, with too much time spent on minor details and not enough time devoted to the main plot. As a result, the story lost its momentum, and I found myself struggling to stay invested in the narrative. This also meant that some of the character arcs felt repetitive and predictable. There were times when I found myself wishing that the story would move on to something new, rather than revisiting the same conflicts and themes.

I still appreciate your creativity and the effort put into building the world and characters. I only wish that the random romances were not included and you just wrap it up already. Longer isn't better. All of this has ultimately took away from what could have been a great story.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be reading anymore.

Hey again Carly! Hooo boy a lot to address here but I'm trying not to think it over for way longer than necessary, so here goes: I feel like a lot of your criticisms are legitimate, some are more of a matter of opinion - and that's okay! Like, if you don't wanna read this fic anymore because it went in a direction you weren't a fan of - that's cool, and I'm glad you felt comfortable to voice your critiques. I'm at a point with this fic where I'm realising that yes, pacing has been an issue. Should have looked for ways to condense things down, but I wanted to flesh too many things out and include certain ideas and yada-yada - you get to 40 chapters and the true plot is only really kicking off now. Definitely a product of it being my first long fic and over the months I've been working on it - Ive learnt a lot and there are a lot of things that I would change that I can't exactly now because I'm at the point of no return now pfft. The romance being forced in favour over the plot is not a point I quite I agree with? I mean Sonknux has been there throughout the whole thing, Tangle's got a little crush on Whisper but it's not shown to be anything deep - and Shadow and Rouge's relationship is in a vague area. Those are the only three ships that I put in the Ao3 tags, no romances came out of nowhere I don't think because they're not really written as proper relationships yet. I wouldn't say they've been to much of a course of conflict either, more of an undercurrent. I feel like in the recent chapters where we had downtime on Angel Island after the previous arc - these relationships came to the forefront for a bit while I tried to give them development.

But hey - opinions are opinions! And you're entitled to yours! But I agree with you frankly that the pacing has been bad, and I'm sorry for that - sorry to my readers for that. I'm at a point where I'm not sure how I want to continue the fic (i know the general plot points but again, it's super long - how do I condense?) - whether I even try, or maybe tackle it some other time with a rewrite - I don't know. But it's definitely a symptom of my amateur ass taking on too big of a project that I should have probably held off on. Probably why working on other fics has sounded more appealing for me lately (which have considerably better pacing and much shorter length) But thank you for the support on this fic while you were here <3 hopefullly some of my other writing will be able to interest you some day :)

[notbecauseofvictories]

oh I'm interested in the tag novel on how fan spaces becoming more meat spacey benefits the producers!! also happy Halloween! 🖤🧡🖤🧡

It’s not a particularly academic argument---I don’t have sources to back this up, I haven’t done research. I’m also wary of painting a picture of “fandom” as anything more than a lot of weasels in a trenchcoat, because that word means a lot of things to a lot of different people, some of whom hate each other. But as long as everybody understands that this is the ethnographical equivalent of drunkenly throwing darts at a copy of the AJS...sure.

[under a cut because it’s long and baseless, and also I had a lot of thoughts and feelings. Sorry.]

My basic premise is that fandom occupies “fanspace.” Fanspace is not solely online, since fanzines and conventions are fanspace too, but since the 90s it has become increasingly and primarily internet based. While some websites are designated fanspace (e.g., AO3, ff.net, stand-alone fansites) fanspace is not necessarily contiguous with a hosting site (e.g., there is fanspace on tumblr, but tumblr is not a fanspace). Fanspace is really just those urls, message boards, threads, blogs, accounts, etc. designated for fandom and/or where fannish activity takes place.

Its deeply-rooted internet presence has allowed fanspace and what I call “meatspace” to operate on different rules. Meatspace has always informed fan spaces, of course---disclaimers on fic to ward off accusations of copyright infringement, for example, or asking readers to attest that they’re over 13 before reading an R-rated fic. But traditionally, fandom has accepted as norm things that don’t apply to meatspace: fake names and anonymous posts, pictures of someone else’s characters, lengthy self-published stories featuring violence, explicit sex, sometimes even gay people. Fanspace is in many ways an artificial carve out from meatspace, where fewer of its rules apply; fanspace supplements these with its own norms.

The division between fanspace and meatspace is not and has never been a clear, settled line, however. Debates on how much meatspace should inform fan spaces have been raging for as long as I’ve been on the internet, and to be fair to meatspace, it has made good points. (I’m not sure if “don’t be racist,” counts as a meatspace rule given...racism, but fandom frequently reacts to it like a meatspace intrusion so I think it should count.)

However, what used to be intra-fandom conversations have become increasingly more public, for a few reasons:

Part of this is just the natural development of the internet---it’s not like fanspace was ever hidden, but there just weren’t as many people online, and stuff was harder to find in a pre-google, pre-algorithmic promotion world.

Part of it is the changing architecture of fanspace---websites shutting down, Strikethrough, and the tumblr porn ban have all, in their own ways, served to alter fanspace and move towards more and more public-facing sites.

But part of it---and this is the biggest factor, I think---is that over the last two decades, we’ve seen content-producers** increasingly willing to engage with fandom. 

On its face, this sounds good! After all, fans like people who make things, people who make things want fans. What could possibly be wrong about both sides recognizing their mutualism?

I think this works when the most interaction you could expect with a creator was showing up a bookstore to ask Tamora Pierce a question, or writing fanmail to Paul Gross. But it falls apart when you consider just how public-facing fanspaces have become, and just how much interest content-producers have taken in cultivating the fannish audience. Content-producers engaging directly with fandom are a thumb on the scales of mutualism, and a heavy one. After all, one side of the relationship is a loosely collected anarchic cult, migrating along a series of websites they mostly don’t control, making do with nothing but ongoing wank and general obsessive tendencies. 

The other side has D*sney, Harper Collins, and Comcast.

That thumb on the scale has paid off, more than I think even the content-producers could have anticipated. Fandom is good at loving what it loves and talking loudly about it, but capitalism is way better at doing what it does---turning everything into profit. So now people pay $100 a pop to go to Harry Potter World. Conventions are well-produced extensions of their parent companies, raking in money and providing a blitz of publicity---directly to the source most likely to take your messaging and amplify it. Make a superhero movie and the minute the trailer drops you conjure up thousands of online fans will be your de facto, unpaid publicists---generating interest via fan art, fic, and controversy with minimal corporate effort.  Of course fic writers who have established online presence are the darlings of the publishing world---what publisher wouldn’t want a built-in hype machine for a new author? 

And, just coincidentally, of course, fanspace and meatspace are drawn closer together, that line further blurred by this new and very, very interested third party.

I’m not saying this is some big conspiracy. No tv exec is out there rubbing their hands together and cackling evilly about how they’re going ruin fandom. But in exchange for meatspace validation and an endless stream of new content, I think fandom has ceded important ground. And I think it’s changing fanspaces, even now:

One of the founding rules of fanspace is that it does not generate money---you risk real copyright infringement that way. (This isn’t to say that money hasn’t been involved in a few massive fandom scandals, but it’s not typical.) Increasingly, however, the grumblings about getting paid for fan art and fic have gotten louder, probably due to meatspace’s general emphasis on the side-hustle, and seeing content-producers churn out more and more fan-like things for a profit.

(It seems unimaginable now, but once upon a time the HP Lexicon was an invaluable resource, a rare unicorn in a pre-wikipedia age. Now, D*sney wouldn’t even think of releasing a tentpole movie without a novelization, a picture dictionary, and a tie-in novel.)

Also, those calls for fan art that “might be featured” by a content-producer are (rightfully) scorned for asking for work pro bono. But the takeaway seems to be “we deserve to be paid for our fan art!” rather than “how dare the content-producer intrude on our fanspace and its activities!”

Fanspaces have never expected or required legal ID, permitting anonymous or pseudonymous activity in order to protect individual privacy. And while there’s still no expectation you link your legal ID with your online/fan ID, the norm has shifted---it’s no longer considered gauche to go by your legal ID, even necessary when turning mutuals and followers into an “audience.” We’re not anonymous fans, engaged in our mutual hobby anymore---some people are doing that, and others are potential content-creators.

I’d argue that even purity wank if an example of this new blurring, classic “don’t like don’t read” arguments taking on new life now that meatspace is so nearby---we wouldn’t want to offend the neighbors!

Even these things benefit the content-producers: the more fan-like stuff they churn out, the less fanspaces will create on their own; the more fanspaces that emphasize linking legal ID to online ID, the less people will be able to engage in fan activities privately; the more meatspace rules assert themselves on fanspaces, the less fanspace we’ll have.

Now, maybe this is just...evolution. As I said before, there is a porous and shifting border between fanspace and meatspace. I remember angry threads about whether m/m fics should be rated higher than a het equivalent; I remember the tagging debates, the incredible resistance to accurately describing what happens in your fic. Maybe in a few years, my longing to return to a more separate fanspace will seem equally as embarrassing, incorrect, and unnecessary. 

But right now, it feels more like an erosion---one fandom is about as willing or able to resist as the tide.

.

** “Content maker” is a term that’s come to mean “anyone who makes something” which is sheer nonsense. There’s a difference between publishers/television producers/movie studios and someone recording a podcast in their bathroom. There’s even a difference between D*sney, a vast undead creative monopoly animated by copyright protections, and someone like James Patterson, who uses a stable of ghostwriters to churn out “his” works. We shouldn’t be scrutinizing all these things them the same way, it’s lazy, and intellectually dishonest.

#long post #long post for ts #........this is a whole honest to god essay what the hell #nonsense. malarky. ridiculousness and speculation. #guys I'm so sorry this is A Lot #(ps is it election terror driven towards sometime I can maybe describe without vomiting and panic attacks? I mean MAYBE) #either way here I am coming up with fun intricate theories as the world burns #transannecarson #celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge

[aminiatureworld]

HI! Quick note: write this whenever you want and be sure to take care of your health first! Your works are amazing and masterpieces take time, I can be patient <3 Hope you have a lovely day! (also, 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: trigger themes like attempts of suicide, probable hints to dissociative amnesia? I was inspired by it at least and some... Limb being bitten off as well as latest archon quest spoilers so readers be cautious!)

Anyway, I'd like to request for Xiao, Albedo, Zhongli, Kaeya and Diluc (if the number is too much you can cut off whoever from the list) with Traveller! s/o that like has no memory of their past but have clues through these... "Visions/Dreams".

It started out a little simple; every once in a while, Y/N would see these little figures floating around their environment. Shadowy wisps, sometimes ghosts talking to them. But in real life, people can't see them and only sees them talking by themselves (and some are a little weirded out). But then one day, while they were out adventuring in the ruins slimes or seelies... Whatever small cute creatures can exist in Teyvat suddenly gathered in Stormterror's lair and they grew curious cuz they heard... Music? Playing? It was echo-y and creepy but then they heard a very familiar tune that they KNOW is linked to their past so they followed and went into the vicinity

(As reference, or for some idea: https://youtu.be/JZ6buLNIgs8)

The moment they stepped inside and pinpointed where the music is coming from they bolted up the stairs (if there are any, which probs not but in reader's case there is) and suddenly the stairs lead them to a hallway from a tower/palace, and walking further, there were two huge doors that lead to a ballroom with more than dozens of ghosts waltzing and singing with the music

(No they did not question why would stormterror's lair have a hallway or how it even has a ballroom inside, nor why creatures would gather in said lair. Questions that break away from dreams are nonexistent)

So obviously they were happy at the wondrous sight and began waltzing along with everyone from strangers to... Unrecognizable but familiar faces? Until They danced with this boy their age. The more they looked the more they were enamored and the world around them was but a hazy dream (as vague and hazy the environment in their head can get) but the boy became more and more vivid and so did the music until they practically sang together. But then as the music stopped and s/o turned their back for a second; the boy sang: "And a song someone sings..." And wisps suddenly flew out of him and towards Reader, making them fall unconscious into their arms as the Prince of the Abyss sang in their ear. "Once upon a december..." Before Aether disappeared and he was but a dream.

And then all of a sudden Reader was yanked away from their dream; almost literally. They turned to see their lover holding onto their arm with concern all over their face and explained to them they were so close to the edge dancing away they could've fallen off of the third floor (which was already high!).

And that's when things get a turn to the worse.

Every dream gets worse than the last; anything that involved the abyss, or seeing these star pendants like what Paimon has on her hair or Kaeya's little decor on his clothes or involving Khaenriah or whatever Albedo's research is rn lure them into a dream vivid than the last and it gets even harder and harder to break them off their dreams. One night of going to bed they suddenly had a dream of their old family/friends swimming in the ocean and telling them to join them, and they wouldve if their lover didnt sweep them off their feet and broke away from another dream they didnt realize was 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 a dream. And the realization that if they jumped off, their bones wouldve broken cuz a bunch of boulders and rocks on a steep cliff would make a nice floor for landing right?

But still, Aether and the abyss (which in their dreams were ghosts and just... this blond guy you knew but never realized it was your brother and the abyss) are recurring themes. Coming across any of the factors instantly puts them in a dream and reader cant tell whats reality and what isnt. Everything is too vivid they didnt see a bubble coming their way or an attack coming towards them and they were about to be thrown off. It got to the point Reader was getting claustrophic from the rooms suddenly shrinking as they were cornered by these ghosts that turned frightening and whenever they fight back they end up nearly murdering someone of mindlessly attempting to destroy one of The Seven statues.

It lead Reader to be.. Kinda suicidal. Not just because they hate themselves and their situation its cuz its the 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑦 they knew how to escape the dream and wake up in a bed in their lovers arms. And because reader cant distinguish reality from dreams sometimes even if their lover is present they see these ghosts and think 'this must be a dream I have to wake up from!' cuz in the long run theyve learned fighting back meant hurting someone so they.. Redirected the pain to themselves so theyre very confused to see their lover throw their dagger across the room and they end up breaking down no matter where they are (or in worse cases in the middle of battle). Reader grew dependant on them and panic attacks after these dreams became more frequent until they cant even trust their surroundings whether its a dream or not.

(I'm very sorry with how long this is and I rambled in grotesque detail you may polish it however you want :"DD)

This can be in any format you'd like! But I mostly prefer headcanons + scenarios? like the bullets then comes scenario etc. But ye write however you want sorry for rambling hope you have a nice day thank you

As a Romanov history enthusiast this request was both very interesting and very difficult. Mostly because I found myself veering off into “lore dumping” for lack of a better term. Still I hope the general feeling of your request was captured well.

I spread various aspects of your request around as best I could, depending on character, outline, fic structure, etc. The only thing I didn’t keep in was the suicidal ideation. This is for various reasons, some personal, but in a more general term I think that it can be very difficult to portray something like that in a way that isn’t excessively triggering and is worthwhile to read for a variety of people. The way one person would process through such emotions and put them to paper could be harmful to another. Overall I thought it best to steer clear from such a topic, with the knowledge that I didn’t find it necessary to the story and thought it would be an imperfect addition on my part. Not that I find never addressing such topics necessarily the right path either, only I think that in this case better not to. I hope I explained why adequately. 

I know that wanting to read and write about such topics does not directly correlate to being in such a mental state but I do hope you also take care of your own mental health. Though getting out of such crises can be difficult I want to tell you this at least. You aren’t alone in feeling this way, even if others in your direct vicinity cannot understand. And also sometimes finding a direct reason for continuing on comes later. Sometimes surviving is enough. And even if you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, that doesn’t mean you should take a step which you will never be able to reverse, the only step you will never be able to reverse in your existence.

I also leaned into the Romanov family dynamic, rather into that of the traveler siblings. Whether the reader is the traveler is kept vague on purpose, as I generally as a rule don’t write the siblings. I also found that in keeping them specifically canon compliant to the traveler siblings I’d have to cut back on the more historical illusions. Being a total history nerd I chose the latter option. 

Otherwise my fics varied in complete accuracy to the prompt, though I hope you find it enjoyable to read nonetheless.

Here they are in order of Albedo, Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, and Zhongli. I hope you find them a worthwhile read and thank you for your request. I hope you have a lovely week.

#suicide mention #dissociative amnesia #asks #aliarosella #requests

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 1

Chapter: 1/12 Rating: T (for language) Content Warnings: Canon-typical Remus content. This chapter only: alcohol use Characters: All Pairings: Moceit, background Prinxiety, background Intrulogical (yes I played a little game of "pair the spares") Additional Tags: Hey it's the fic I published on Anon because I was embarrassed of how utterly pretentious it is!, post-PoF, sickfic, dirty poetry, humor interspersed with philosophy and Janus-typical pontification, this is VERY speculative and will get Jossed in the future lmao Summary: After claiming his place in the Light and coming face-to-face with the consequences of his actions, Janus finds himself unwillingly re-calibrating his moral compass. For selfish reasons, of course. But one apology snowballs into several, and soon he's running around the Mindscape with a low-grade fever and a guilty conscience as he desperately tries to regain some sense of self. Oh, and he's definitely not falling in love with Patton, so don't even bring it up. One Last Note: I wrote this in an ADHD fugue state. It is HEAVILY influenced by Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment, but there are also references to poetry and various other works of literature. I also deliberately used symbols, themes, and motifs. Most of them are pretty in your face except for the recurring ouroboros, which is used as a symbol of rebirth. ...Told you it was pretentious.

When you wake up to the promise of your dream world comin' true With one less friend to call on, was it someone that I knew? Away you will go sailing in a race among the ruins If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon

Janus appeared in the Dark side of the Mindscape, elation swelling in his chest. Even the ringing headache and bitter taste in his mouth couldn't hollow the unfamiliar triumph that warmed him to the core. Caught up in his own thoughts, it took a moment for him to register the sight before him: Remus, upside-down on the couch, his brow furrowed and face an alarming shade of purple.

For a moment, Janus stood stock-still as he tried to get his bearings. He must have been more flustered than he'd realized-- He'd been aiming for his bedroom.

But here he was, staring down at Remus, who was definitely going to burst a blood vessel (or several) if he didn't flip over soon.

"That's not horrifying at all," Janus said, thinking it would be rude to dismiss Remus, especially since he had probably been eavesdropping. He had likely heard everything. Everything. Even the ugly parts.

"Do you remember when Thomas read that post about Nutty Putty Cave?" Remus asked in a strained, strangled voice. "That spelunker who died because he got stuck upside-down?"

"No," Janus said, before realizing his mistake. "Yes." He definitely wanted Remus to remind him of the gory details.

"That's what I thought," Remus said with a wicked grin.

Janus sighed through his nose. Remus, though he thrived on attention, seemed content enough to continue his experiment by himself. On the other hand, if Janus didn't bring up a certain insult he'd levied at Roman, Remus most certainly would, and at a time where it would cause the most upset and turmoil. Better for Janus to deal with it now, even if he would have to fight the tension pulling his muscles taut. He wanted to dance. He wanted to scream.

Hesitation proved to be Janus' downfall, and by the time he'd opened his mouth to broach the subject at hand, Remus had beaten him to the blow. "You're not usually this quiet, Oralboros. Snake got your tongue?"

Janus, again, sighed. Rather than answer, he doffed his hat, set it on the coffee table, and clumsily arranged himself upside-down next to Remus. The change in position immediately made his head throb. He ignored it. "I definitely meant it when I called you 'evil'."

Remus' eyes widened in faux-shock. "You called me evil ?" he shrieked, voice ringing out high and clear. "Me? How dare you. I'm an angel!"

At least Remus was taking it well. "Sarcasm is my thing," Janus said, realizing that he might make it out of this without having to properly apologize.

For some reason, Patton's face flashed into his mind, and a subsequent twinge of guilt made his tongue go sour. Fine. If there was ever a time to start telling uncomfortable truths… "But I am sorry I said that."

"Wow!" Remus laughed. "You must be upset." A red stain began to spill across his left eye. "You don't apologize."

"It’s not like I care about your feelings or anything." Janus would have liked to have drawn himself up to his full height, but it was impossible to do while upside-down. "As much as I'm enjoying watching your blood vessels slowly burst, would you please turn over before you hurt yourself? I've suffered enough psychological trauma for today."

"Oh, fine." Remus kicked his legs and landed neatly on his toes like a gymnast.

Janus, by contrast, got his arms tangled in his capelet and nearly folded himself in half before he found his balance again. "I meant to do that," he said, turning to grab his hat so Remus wouldn't see the blush on his face.

The sudden sensation of blood draining from his head made the room whirl. He steadied himself against Remus' shoulder until it slowed somewhat, but nothing could dampen the horrible ringing in his ears.

"Well," he said, adjusting his shirt. The sudden appearance of his conscience had taken the wind out of his sails more than he cared to admit, and all thoughts of dancing bled out of him along with a good deal of energy. "I'm not going to go scream into my pillows until I tire myself out."

"Being an agent of chaos is hard work," Remus said with a sage nod, "but that doesn't sound very relaxing, Mr Self Care."

"It's a form of meditation, if you think about it," Janus said.

Remus made a face. "You know I don't do that."

"...Meditate?"

"No, think."

"Ah. Well." Janus made only a token attempt to hide his fond smile. "Good night, Remus. Please stay up late and injure yourself."

"Can do, Snakeypoo.”

Janus turned. It was close enough, he might as well walk to his bedroom, especially considering how well his last attempt at appearing in it had gone.

The reason why that had been so difficult became apparent in mere moments. Janus froze in the hall and dropped to his knees at the giddy wave of horror and delight that made him too light-headed to stand.

He knelt in front of the empty stretch of wall where his door had been previously.  Heat flooded his face.

"Jay?" The rounded toes of Remus' boots appeared in his line of sight. Janus zeroed in on them, the mud splatters and stains on the soft leather. "You have an aneurysm or what?"

Janus, unable to speak, motioned for Remus to turn around. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"Ohhh," said Remus. "Well. Good luck with that ." He hauled Janus to his feet. "So you're a boner fide good guy now, huh?"

Janus stared over Remus' shoulder at the empty stretch of wall where his door used to be. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

Remus shrugged and rose up on his toes. "You can scream into my pillows instead, if you want."

"As tempting as that is…" Janus trailed off, his eyes still fixed on the wall. It was tempting, despite the constant chaos in Remus' room. But he'd have to face the Light side sooner or later. It wasn't like he could move his room back, not without psychologically damaging Thomas and undoing all the work he'd done. "I'm really looking forward to getting insulted some more."

"Alright," Remus said with a shrug. "Try not to throw me under the bus this time, alright? Unless it's a real bus…" His gaze became dreamy, unfocused. "And it's doing 50 in a school zone and there's a whole pack of screaming kids in the crosswalk--"

"Goodbye, Remus." Janus turned and left.

--

The barrier between the "dark" and the "light" sides of Thomas' brain had been a joint venture. It would have been there in some form no matter what, but it was Janus and Roman (with Patton's tacit blessing) who had worked to put up something more physical between them.

Janus ducked under the red curtain, trepidation percolating in his stomach, but what he found on the other side was anticlimactic to say the least: It was dead silent on this side of the barrier.

Janus wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He knew by now that the so-called "Lights" had issues working out their interpersonal issues, and this most recent conflict wasn't the kind of thing you just got over. It did follow that they would all go off to lick their wounds for a time.

Hesitantly, toe-to-heel, Janus crept down the hall. It felt for all the world like he was sneaking around a vast hotel, right down to needlessly ornate design on the plush carpeting. That was probably Roman's doing.

Janus focused, trying to call the Mindscape to work for him. He wanted to go to his room.

The Mindscape listened. Janus turned a corner and found a row of doors stretching down yet another brightly-lit corridor. His eye was immediately drawn, not to the brilliant yellow of his own door, but to the figure huddled in front of it: Patton sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, forehead resting on his knees.

"Looking for someone?" Janus asked, slightly louder than necessary.

Patton jerked his head up. "Oh! Janus!" He plastered an unconvincing smile on his face. "You sure pop star-tled me."

Scaring Patton hadn't brought Janus nearly the level of schadenfreude he'd thought it would. He crossed his arms over his chest, extending a third to help Patton up. "Take your time getting to the point.”

"Oh." Patton accepted Janus' proffered hand and got to his feet. Warmth spilled from him, permeating the fabric of Janus' glove and gently heating his palm. "Well, it's just…" He took a deep breath. "I noticed your door and I thought-- Well, I wanted to make you feel welcome!"

A high-pitched tone resonated in Janus' skull. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing at the mounting pressure-pain-exhaustion in his temples. "Aren't you just a saint ." Patton's face fell. Janus fought the urge to swear aloud. He usually had a better handle on himself, and he knew better than to alienate potential allies. "I mean, thank you, Patton. Truly. I appreciate it." Patton had proven himself useful. Janus should at least cultivate that relationship, even if it meant a little discomfort.

"Have you eaten?" Patton asked. "It's a little late, but I could make something if you wanted." He paused. "Maybe we could play cards or something." Another pause. "O-only if you want to, I mean."

Janus let his face remain impassive even as he internally cringed at the idea of staying awake for even another second. It would be so easy to brush Patton off with a few honeyed words and disappear beyond the barrier of his door. But Patton had stood up for him today, or at least he'd tried to. Janus sighed. Quid pro quo. "That sounds like an utter waste of time."

"Are you… I'm sorry, sometimes I can't tell when you're…"

"Yes, Patton. That sounds lovely."

Patton actually hopped in place, an adorable little jig that absolutely didn't send a confusing little shockwave of fondness through Janus' ribcage. "Really?"

"Really," Janus lied.

He followed Patton down the hall into the living room, which opened into the dining room and the kitchen. Janus studied his surroundings, trying to take in as much as his exhausted faculties would allow. Even in the absence of other Sides, the living room felt warm and welcoming. All the lights were on, and they bathed everything in gentle golden light .

"You're awfully quiet," Patton said.

Janus shook himself. "I was just getting my bearings."

"I guess you've never really been over here, huh?" Pattton opened the refrigerator. Was he actually going to cook , instead of just manifesting something? How quaint. "Do you like grilled cheese?"

It had been a long, confusing day. Doublespeak came to Janus as naturally as breathing, but he was obviously running circles around Patton even when he wasn't trying to. "Yes," he said, hoping to telegraph his sincerity by not emoting at all.

It seemed to work. Patton studied him for a moment before turning back to the fridge. "Then that's what I'll make."

Janus took advantage of this temporary distraction to clamber onto one of the barstools. The slick velvet of his capelet tended to disagree with surfaces like wood and vinyl, and he needed a moment to arrange things so he didn't look as unbalanced as he felt.

He watched Patton work in the kitchen, a detached coolness washing out the scene. Quid pro quo, he reminded himself when he felt his facade begin to slip. He owed Patton this.

He certainly didn't feel the slightest twinge of guilt, that he had been the one to orchestrate this breakdown. Yes, the Light Sides had loaded the gun, but in the end it was Janus who had pulled the trigger.

He shook his head and thought about playing cards, good Bicycle playing cards with holes punched through them like they'd come from a casino. "What should we play?" he asked, pulling the deck from his breast pocket.

Patton looked up from the stovetop, his eyes flicking to the cards in Janus' hand. "Do you know Kings in the Corners?"

"Not personally, no."

Patton laughed, but there was something cold about it. "It's really simple," he said. "I'll show you how to play and you can tell me if you like it."

--

It was nearly impossible to cheat at Kings in the Corners. Janus doubted this had been a calculated measure on Patton's part, doubted he had the capacity for that kind of foresight, but he respected it just the same.

They played in funereal silence, staring each other down across the light wood of the dining room table. Janus, ill-inclined to take off his gloves, utilized a napkin to keep from staining them with melted butter from the grilled cheese Patton had made. Neither one of them smiled. Neither one of them spoke.

Janus pulled a card from the deck to indicate the end of his turn and glanced up at Patton. His face was somber, almost sorrowful, and it clashed against the gentle domesticity of the dining room, with its floral table runner and mismatched placemats.

Janus started to laugh.

"What is it?" Patton asked, cheeks darkening. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Janus swallowed down another peal of laughter and cleared his throat, unable to wholly restrain the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You look like I’m holding you here at gunpoint." It was somewhat ironic, considering Janus was the one who felt like he couldn't leave.

"What?" Patton smiled, but it was more akin to an offering than an expression of joy.

"It’s not really funny. " Janus wasn’t quite sure how to make Patton understand.

Patton sat back with a sigh, placing his cards facedown on the table. "But I guess it is pretty funny, huh? In a really sad way."

Janus almost asked what was sad about it before realizing that Patton probably missed his friends. Instead he said, "Yes" and stifled a yawn behind his free hand.

"I'll make coffee!" Patton leapt to his feet and was off to the kitchen before Janus could so much as blink.

The newfound solitude made it that much harder for Janus to ignore his headache, which had only worsened in the hour or so he'd been playing cards with Patton. Despite the nonchalant facade he'd tried so hard to project, he'd been holding himself tense.

Maybe the night (or morning, at this point) would be easier to tolerate if he had, say, a bit of gold rum.

The corner of a flask dug into Janus' hip. He smiled.

"Just how late are you planning on staying up?" he asked Patton when the latter returned holding two mismatched mugs.

"Oh, I don't know," Patton said. Lied. He set a mug down in front of Janus and then resumed his seat, the cards forgotten by his elbow. "I'm… A little scared of what tomorrow will be like."

Janus eased the flask out of his pocket. "Rum?"

"Oh, um," Patton said, staring at the flask. "I don't know…"

Janus raised an eyebrow, working something out. He landed on it a millisecond later: Patton wanted to be convinced. Easy enough. Janus opened the flask and poured what he hoped was a shot into his own mug. It was black, he noticed, except for the yellow snake that wrapped around it, its tail firmly in its own mouth. Ouroboros. "Surely you don't intend to make me drink alone?"

As Janus had expected, Patton buckled the second he was pushed. "I guess not."

It was funny, Janus mused as he carefully tipped rum into Patton's coffee, how lying was only off-limits when Janus suggested it. Hilarious.

But now wasn't the time for bitterness, now was the time to repay the debt he owed Patton. "Cheers," he said, pocketing the flask once more.

"Cheers."

Janus sipped his coffee. "You put milk in this," he observed.

Patton's smile was surprisingly sly. "I know you want me to think you take it black. Virgil did too, at first. I know you ‘Dark Sides’ have an image you like to uphold."

"And how does Virgil take his coffee now?" Janus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"With Snickers-flavored creamer."

"Well, I do take my coffee black," Janus lied.

Patton's smile never faltered. "We'll see, kid-- Uh, Janus."

"Patton," Janus said, before he could start thinking about the implications of Patton wanting to call him 'kiddo,' "you are planning on sleeping tonight, aren't you?"

"Maybe eventually," Patton said, suddenly unable to look Janus in the eye. "At some point."

"Tomorrow will come whether or not you sleep. It's definitely better to pull an all-nighter and feel like garbage instead of facing everything with a clear head."

"I know." Patton leaned forward so he could rest his head on his hand.

For a moment, Janus was tempted to mirror him. Sitting up straight was becoming quite the chore. "I know how the others love a calm, rational discussion."

"Oh, I wish." Patton's expression turned wistful.

Janus stifled a yawn behind his hand. He had half-expected the coffee to counteract the depressant effect of the alcohol, but all he had to show for the combination was a racing heart.

"I'll be fine out here if you want to go to bed," Patton said. Without seeming to realize he was doing it, he brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on his thumbnail.

It was a tempting offer. A day ago, Janus would have taken it. After all, it wasn't like he cared about Patton outside of professional courtesy. They weren't friends. But guilt nagged at him and wouldn't let him entertain the idea of abandoning Patton for longer than a second.

"That's a remarkable impression of a window," Janus said, waiting for Patton to look confused before elaborating, "I can see right through you."

"You got me." Patton smiled sadly. "That's something I've always admired about you, Janus."

Now it was Janus' turn to be confused. "What?"

"You're so… clever."

Janus narrowed his eyes. "Please do keep trying to change the subject."

"It's just… I don't want to have to lie there and, and think about today and everything I did wrong. I hurt Thomas. I hurt my friends." Patton's eyes were shiny behind his glasses; the unshed tears sparkled in the light when he locked eyes with Janus. "Aren't you going to think about the same thing?"

Anger flared, perhaps prematurely, in Janus' chest. "About what you did wrong today?"

"About what you did wrong," Patton said timidly.

"I," Janus said icily, "didn't do anything wrong." He stared Patton down across the table, jaw set, daring him to push back. Let him lecture and nag, let him prove that he hadn't changed no matter what he said.

But Patton only nodded, his face lined with misery. "Okay," he softly. "I think you're right, Janus. We should go to bed."

Janus thought about how much faster he could get to bed if the table was cleared, and all the dishes and cards vanished in a blink.

"Um, Janus?" Patton said.

"Yes?"

"I don't regret everything that happened today."

"Oh?"

Patton only nodded and sank out.

Janus made a beeline for his own room; better to find his way there on foot rather than risk appearing in the wrong spot.

Once inside, he looked around to ensure nothing was amiss, eyes roving over the dark wood of his bookshelves and desk, his mirrored closet doors, the leather armchairs across from his bed.

Everything was exactly as Janus had left it. He nodded, satisfied, set his hat on the nightstand, and sprawled out of top of the covers without bothering to further undress.

One hazy thought crawled to the surface of his mind before he fell asleep: At least he wouldn't be one of the regrets haunting Patton tonight.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #janus sanders #moceit #spicywrites soft-shoe shuffle #song featured is: race among the ruins - gordon lightfoot #pics are free to use from unsplash and wikimedia commons

[edwardslostalchemy]

the thing that kills me about bakugou is when the plf go "having a powerful quirk means i'm better than you"and basically advocate for eugenics, it's horrible and corrupt, but when bakugou does it, it's lol funny and 'oh that gremlin.' in a recent chapter he made fun of the past OFA holders for having 'weak' quirks and dying and he said these things in front of Toshi, who has himself given so much. just...what was the point of him knowing about OFA if he was just going to be a disrespectful ass?

I have no idea why it was necessary for him to know, tbh. I think it was a waste of an opportunity to give him growth by NOT telling him. And honestly, I agree that k*tsuki and the plf have similar ideals because they’re elitists. :/ They think they’re better than others. Unironically, the lov wanting k*tsuki on their side would have been like, them all sharing this same thought. Idk, I just don’t like him. The things he says and does are played off as comedic relief now and it’s honestly so annoying. He needs to be brought down from his pedestal. 

(I have multiple messages so I am putting them all in one post under a read more, I hope it works, but if somehow it doesn’t, I’m really sorry. My computer says it works, but mobile doesn’t show it. This will be a long post.)

Anonymous said:

You know... I wouldn’t mind Bakugou winning vs Ochako so much if his blast had simply redirected enough rubble for him to make it though the pelting, and the fight had ended with an actual visible inflicted injury on his part, like a cut on his face, that stuck around for the rest of the tournament. Make the close call have more concrete, visible consequences for him then his arms aching a bit.

I agree with this completely. That thing about his arms aching doesn’t show much of the consequences at all. And he gets over it rather quickly. I hate that he has so much plot armor.

Anonymous said:

Ngl i dont ship Todo/deku (dont really ship Izuku with anyone lol) but its such a nice ship like?? People can ship what they want but why ship Baku/deku when Tododeku is RIGHT THERE. I would rather have todo/deku be the twin stars like.. Todoroki having to overcome his fathers legacy and be a better hero then his father ever could be while Izuku perpetuates all mights legacy and carries the legacy of One For All?? Poetic cinema

+ I SENT AN ASK ABOUT PREFERRING TODO/DEKU TO BAKU/DEKU AND I WANTED TO ADD SOMETHING SKSKS. we could totally have an "its your power" moment. Izuku getting Todo to accept his left side and Todo getting Izuku to remember that OFA is his power now.

Todo/deku is really the poetic cinema we need and deserve. Idk why people like b*kud*ku, that’s what they prefer, but the ship itself is not healthy in the slightest and I find it pretty disturbing. I agree with you, nony. Everything you said is correct.

Anonymous said:

If I'm gonna be honest the whole "he was raised in a household of screaming and abuse" isn't a good enough reason as to why Bakugo has no chill. Like we've seen people like Todoroki raised in a household much worst but he didn't come out as a jerk or bully. I'd like to see more of Bakugo's interactions with his parents but for the most part the dad seems like a pushover and his mom is just loud at times. But no where close to Endeavor. So yeah Bakugo shut up challenge

Yeah, idk how their dynamic works, it’s just mitsuki screaming at k*tsuki while his dad tries to intervene, but doesn’t do a good job about it. I don’t like that she smacked his head. But I think people really stretch it to give him a tragic backstory when in reality, he doesn’t have one. He is a spoiled brat. Shouto has proven how to be a better person. He’s just a better character in general.

Anonymous said:

This might be long but I want to get something off my chest and I love your blog so I used to like bk//dk. If you asked me why. It's because I was enamored by the fanon ver of this pair with a better bkg and the whole appeal of childhood 'friends'/reconciliation trope it had going on and some fans have convinced me that their relationship wasn't as bad as it's portrayed before UA and that bkg was only like that because of society and thinking Izuku was "looking down" at him. 1/3

Thinking about it. it's really stupid and the verge of victim blaming but anyways. What stopped me from liking it and instead hating the pair is that after dk vs kc 2 I was expecting the improvement in their relationship, for a moment I thought we got it. But in reality it's just bc we haven't seen them interact much after the overhaul arc and before the joint training arc.Then the joint arc came and the 2nd internship arc came and whoo boy, I feel like I was cheated on. 2/3

Rather than making bkg's behavior improve towards Izuku, He's still as much of an asshole who belittles him, mocks him ,acts like he can't stand him but less threats of killing him combined with Izuku who just takes it because he's a nice person. But the narrative acts like their good friends now and I have been feeling so frustrated with this, I wanted a mutual relationship with mutual respect on both sides and bk//dk hasn't reached that part and it shouldn't take this long for it to be. 3/3

Thank you for sharing this with me, nony!! I appreciate it. It’s really sad that their relationship hasn’t improved at all. It’s so long overdue and now things are played as comedic relief like him hurting Izuku with his spike and also being extremely disrespectful during the ofa meetings. Their relationship isn’t healthy and it isn’t friendly, no matter how canon wants to paint it that way.

Anonymous said:

the only reason bkg gets to know OFA is because he guilted Izu into telling him a half truth in S1 then guilted AM and Izu with his tantrum in S3 He also had the privilege to know Izu since childhood and saw AFO so he had the advantage Izuku would have never told him otherwise. Same time Izuku's friends don't "deserve" to know about OFA, rather, Izuku deciding to tell them himself will make the revelation to them more special since its Izu deciding to tell a piece of himself than being forced to

HOT TAKE

@havocsss said:

i just wanted to say i appreciate your opinion on bnha about bakugo (bc someone finally said it 👀) and you put into words for me how i feel abt that character - and that's partly why i just can't watch it. he's the bully that everyone idolises and gets let away with murder and naaaah mate that's not how it works

Thank you, I’m glad to hear it. I don’t like that he, a literal bully who has suicide baited Izuku and has hurt him with his explosion quirk, is the fandom’s favorite and the most popular character. Literally any other character would have been better to stan than him. He’s everywhere and I can’t enjoy part of the series because of him always being there. It’s so annoying. I will continue to yell about why he is not a good character until horikoshi gives us the development he desperately needs AND an apology to Izuku for being so abusive to him. And yes, bullying is abuse.

Anonymous said:

I know that feeling. I also greatly dislike Bakugou. He almost ruins the manga for me at times. I can't even think of a plot with Izuku where Hori won't try to include him in some way. I tried reading metas abt him, tried to look at him in a different light but I realised that I really hate his personality, combined with his overhyped popularity just makes me can't stand him. I wish I could even just be neutral for him but that's being a challenge.

Yeah, he’s not a good character. Very infuriating and annoying. We do not stan him in this house.

Anonymous said:

I feel like if Aizawa actually knew that Bakugou used to bully Izuku he'd probably whoop Bakugou's ass

OOF I’d like to see him expel him.

Anonymous said:

I like how it's framed like I'm supposed to feel sorry for Bakugou because he feels manpain for not being the strongest in the class. Like the dude went from a regular school to the best of the best and he still expected to be the strongest person there is with no challenge?

Awww, is the spoiled brat sad? Good. He can die mad about it.

Anonymous said:

If Aizawa did the combat training instead of All Might he would've stopped Bakugou the first time he used his gauntlets and automatically failed him and I really wish that would've been the outcome

Tbh he should have been expelled for trying to kill a classmate.

Anonymous said:

Oh yeah I remember that character entrance when he just basically I insults his partner for training. Look I love the kid but if I was a teacher I would've flamed him so hard like there could've been a hostage, that weapon could have went off, his partner could've been captured. That's how you ended up failing the license exam

OOF. When will he learn.

Anonymous said:

Um excuse the ever living fuck out of me but I just saw a fic that was bakugou/consequences where Izuku attempted suicide and you know what the ship was?? My pure green son who deserves the world and his literal bully/abuser are you SHITTING ME???? I try very hard not to hate ships I do really try but I just CAN'T with this ship it disgusts me

It's not a healthy ship. I am disturbed by this fic and I don’t even know what it’s called and I don’t want to know. Eww.

Anonymous said:

I see myself as Izuku cause I relate to him a lot and I just read something where Bakugou does what my abuser did to me to Izuku and now I'm having a very hard time stomaching the thought of him and like I really loved kiri/baku too but now I can't even think about it cause someone who shipped my notp thought it would be a good idea to make Bakugou an abuser and give Izuku Stockholm syndrome ☹

Oh nony…I’m so sorry to hear about that. That really sounds rough and I hope you’re feeling better. That sounds awful. I’m just…I’m appalled. Also giving Izuku Stockholm syndrome with this ship is just. Wow.

#anti bakugou #anti bkdk #iamtypinglike98madmen #havocsss #anonymous #tw abuse #if anyone needs anything tagged let me know

[hellreads]

For anyone who saw this, i urge u to read Right of Way. Okay io, my heart. First, as a jk stan, i feel like a several punches hit me from every direction. I'm the kind of reader who easily immersed into the character especially w the pronoun 'you' i feel like someone is reading me a story of my life, so yes i am bawling, usually it took me a few fluff or smut fic to simmer down the emotion but not this one. I went to bed with swollen eyes. I couldn't read a shit after that.

I will put all my answers under the cut because this is RoW and my emotions for this fic has no end T_T | 🍒

❤️ Rara | 🍒 Io (I decided to answer it as if we’re just chatting and not hurting rip our weak hearts for RoW Jimin, Jungkook, and OC)

[AN EXCHANGE FULL OF SPOILERS]

❤️ : For anyone who saw this, I urge u to read Right of Way. Okay io, my heart. First, as a jk stan, i feel like a several punches hit me from every direction. I’m the kind of reader who easily immersed into the character especially w the pronoun ‘you’ i feel like someone is reading me a story of my life, so yes i am bawling, usually it took me a few fluff or smut fic to simmer down the emotion but not this one. I went to bed with swollen eyes. I couldn’t read a shit after that.

🍒 : Rara, I feel you!!! I am the type of reader who hardcore immerses herself even if the main character gets killed or is a ghost because the best way for me to relate and feel everything to the core is to immerse, I can never read something as an outsider, okay maybe there’s a few I started out as an outsider but eventually caved in (even named OC fics lol, it’s fun to be someone else), sorry to break it to you but NO FIC CAN EVER HEAL THE DAMAGE RIGHT OF WAY HAS DONE TO YOU, NO FIC CAN MAKE YOU FORGET OF THE EVENTS, THE MISTAKES, THE REGRETS, THE PENANCE, THE ACCEPTANCE, THE WEIGHT THIS FIC WILL HAVE ON YOU IS TOO HEAVY YOU NEED A SUPPORT/SUFFER GROUP. 

ONCE YOU READ RoW YOUR HEART WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

❤️ : RoW jk is childish, to me. But maybe he is just naive or confused. For him to fall for oc but still care about sohee is kind of dick move to me, but someone once told me “we cannot choose who fall in love with, and we certainly cannot choose how it will happen either”. That’s their fates. I’m pretty satisfied w the ending bcs there’s no bad person in this story, just bad decisions. What saddens me is, it seems like only OC who pays the price.

🍒 : That is true that he seems like a childish one but isn’t that the beauty of being a child? loving without limits, with all your heart? no hesitations, just trusting that love will be kind, good, untainted even, he saw something in OC that’s why he opened up himself to her and fell for her even if we cannot fully understand the set-up they agreed to have, I hated him for staying with Sohee, I could never understand that part but then again have you seen how feral Sohee was for Jungkook? the girl would kill for the boy, she snaked her way to get him and she’d do anything for history to not repeat itself, but the gods said fuck you Sohee we’ll let the boy stray, he cheated once, he’ll cheat again, what makes you think you’re special hun? you’re right nobody is a bad person here since they’re all humans, something led them to commit the sins they’ve done in this lifetime…

Sohee’s Fault was stealing Jungkook from Seulgi, she was head over heels for him she didn’t think twice, she just wanted to get him at all costs even if it means karma will find her sooner or later, she lusted after him and eventually loved him so there’s no way she was letting go, hence, she carefully planned everything so she gets pregnant with his baby, sick right? but the reality is she’s not the only one who did this thing to their partner, she just didn’t fucking care as long as she keeps Jungkook.

Jimin’s Fault was trusting and loving OC too much he shrugged every sign of her infidelity under the rug, what a libra thing to do Jimin (I am a Libra and I can attest to this Libra trait especially when in love) he was too blinded by love that he gave her every benefit of the doubt whenever she skips dates, goes home late, always tired, even asking to be fucked dog style, sigh, he lost the love of his life to his best friend (well he lost his loves twice to the same boy) she was nothing but an empty shell pre-programmed to respond to him like a lover would and that fucking hurt, I think among the four characters here he received the most damage cluelessly, what a poor loving soul, my heart shattered for him, he only wanted to give her the world but she decided to run to a different planet.

Jungkook’s Fault was being weak and not opening himself up to Sohee, if he only opened up to her the way he did to OC then this wouldn’t have happened,  she’s always been there but something is still missing but he should’ve talked things with her instead of finding solace in the arms of OC, because of the secret class they shared they had to write something together which I think could’ve been written minus their drunken state but whoops this is their fate, maybe in another universe they belonged together and they’re trying it as well in this one? (coherence fucked up my mind so I keep thinking of alternate universes) also, Jungkook did nothing to stop the sins they’re doing, he’s into deep inside her in every sense and there was no going back, he was willing to ruin relationships and friendships but fate was cruel, he only had a taste of his euphoria before everything came crashing down.

OC’s Fault was thinking she was strong enough to fight her strong feelings and urges, she thought she was not capable of doing such thing, she wasn’t a bad person, maybe the stable relationship really got to her (long-term relationships can get boring and it isn’t pretty) and having a taste of something or someone new is titillating, also, it wouldn’t be bad right? because it’s the worst, just like Jungkook she gave in to lust, god their sexual chemistry and actual chemistry off-sex is something every lover should have except they aren’t lovers but sinners trying to milk each other everything they got before the world reveals their secrets, she knew it was wrong but she always kept coming back for more, as much as she tried to stay away and forget about everything she keeps spiraling down with Jungkook, it was no longer a mistake but a choice. ultimately, she had to pay the price because that was her predicament, she got the short end of the stick, everything was ruined for her, her relationship with Jimin, Sohee, and Jungkook.

❤️ : If i could wish for a different ending i would say a happy ending but that is unreal. I would want oc to end up w jk, sohee didnt ended up pregnant. (Thats the thing isn’t it, when u’re pregnant u’re bound for life, for the sake of the child). Maybe oc can end up w jimin, she will live her whole life as jimin wife and also as a liar. Point is, the ending is “this is bound to happen, someone have to take the bullet” n i think it’s necessary rather than satisfying,

🍒 : You’re absolutely right about somebody taking the bullet and that’s obviously OC, this is why it fucking hurts, you know for a fact that she didn’t do all of this on her own, it’s not like she forcefully had her way with Jungkook, I’m just so appalled because he was a fuckboy and suddenly lost all knowledge and imagination on this exact position “It’s actually pretty shimple… The girl is straddling the guy, her back facing him while her face is turned to the side so he can kiss her.” imo, he tricked her by playing dumb, maybe it’s true they’re tipsy but he constantly bugged OC after which means he remembers everything they’ve done that one sinful night…

~ the first ending I hoped for was Jimin and OC getting back together, I prayed so hard that he’ll have the heart to forgive and take her back but this the reality of cheating and getting cheated on, no matter how much you try to mend and put the pieces back together it will never fit perfectly again, edges now cracked and torn there’s no way their perfect relationship will ever be the same, as one of my favorite songs said “with each passing day the pain still stays the same” no matter how hard Jimin tries, his trust and love for her will never be the same, he will always doubt her and be reminded of her infidelity, it will not be a pleasant ride for them so it’s better that they didn’t end up being together because even if time heals all wounds the scar she gave him will always hurt like a salted fucking open wound.

~ the second one I hoped for was that Jungkook gives up everything even if Sohee was pregnant, this is brutal I know but if he truly loved OC he would keep his promise and be with her, with or without a child growing inside his girlfriend because it’ll never be the same for them but unlike Jimin, Sohee was willing to try and forget because he loves Jungkook too much, I applaud her for trying but I believe she will never be truly happy, she will be constantly reminded of stealing Jungkook from Seulgi, forcing their child into this world as a trap to keep him, and the devastating fact that Jungkook was willing to give everything up for OC, and that for a short period of time he loved her like the world was about to end, and end it did, Sohee won in this lifetime, suffering is a small price to pay to be with Jungkook ig, they can try but reality will come checking up on them once in a while and it won’t be fun, their relationship is damaged but for Hikaru their innocent angel they will try. 

~ the last and ultimate ending I prayed for was OC ending up alone, another savage wish because I love suffering, but this was the only way for her heart to be free from all the pain and guilt, she suffered long enough by keeping secrets and coming back to Jungkook’s arms, she wasn’t a bad person, she was just weak and lost the battle in holding tightly onto her morals because love is something you can’t run away from, yes, I believe that she and Jungkook fell in love it was evident in the incriminating poem he made her “the tiny islands of your birthmark leading me to your center like a happy trail” he paid attention to every part of her and you don’t do that to a random fuck, it was hard not to love the pair despite the sins they’ve done because fuck I’m crying again, my chest now heaving from too much pain ugh, they were perfect (these lines should’ve been on my second ending but whatever I’ll get to my point) if only Jimin and Sohee didn’t exist or sure let them join the picture except they’re just random friends, but they’re not, and that’s why it sucks that she had to endure all of this losing a lover, losing a friend, and losing a soulmate (because fuck the way Jungkook loved her screams soulmate to me except he’s tied to another T_T)

❤️ : My favorite moment would be when jimin found the poems, man it went down like I’m falling from a cliff straight into the coldest sea on earth. U know when u ride a rollercoaster, on the falling part, u feel like ur heart is at ur throat? That how i feel as jimin reads the poem. Now imagine being jimin. Imagine being cheated on in the worst way anyone could possibly imagine. He was ready to propose to oc, jk is his bff, she fucked jk while he was away, on the couch next to their photo…

🍒 : RARA, I FELT THAT, I RECENTLY VISITED A FAMOUS THEME PARK AND FUCK THE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE THERE TOOK MY SOUL, ALL I SHOUTED OUT WAS LOOOOOORRRRRRDDDDD AND I DIED ~ anyway, that poem part fucked me up, I was literally bawling my eyes out, I have been cheated on but if I happened to discover the affair the way Jimin did I would die, when I discovered my boyfriend of almost 8 years cheated on me my heart froze, literally fucking freezing cold and not a single tear dropped that day, the following days were hellish, that’s when I wanted to cry and release all my pain but still no tears (I knew it was coming I guess) ~ this is why the length of a relationship doesn’t really matter because it’s never an assurance that your partner will be faithful to you, maybe things got boring okay I admit to that but what I can never understand is, why stay and cheat and hurt your partner if you’re no longer happy.

no one owns anybody nor is anyone entitled to own anybody or have them as a back-up in case your mission to cheat or flirt fails, that is just fucking sick.

❤️ : I love it that I major in literature study, bcs i can keep my mind sane instead of just blaming myself (oc), i see it from each characters’ pov and god, the author deserves a standing ovation. This is so many asks hehe, i feel like i still have a lot to say but I couldn’t think straight right now, too clouded by the angst smoke, hehe p:s i love u more!

🍒 : ohhh that’s an interesting fact, my major and my profession has nothing to do with literature or anything, in fact, people who studied my major probs hate English ghasdjfghjdsagfhjsadgfjksd, I’m just used to seeing both sides of the story and trying to understand why they are like that, did something happen to them to end up in the situation they’re in? what is missing in their lives? what are they craving for? what tipped off the balance? nobody wanted to be in the predicament they’re in, Sohee, Jimin, Jungkook, and OC were victims of time and circumstance, just because things didn’t turn out the way you want them to doesn’t mean life or fate or destiny is cruel, this is the nature and balance of this universe, if they give everything to us freely even if we tried taking it in the most inappropriate or evil way there would be nothing but chaos, I just hope that somewhere out there our girl OC is happy and having the time of her life, I’m no longer wishing for Jimin to come back, I just want all of them to heal and learn from their experience, it’s sad and painful but they were just never meant to be, Jimin nor Jungkook was never meant for OC, OC wherever you are my love, I hope you’ve healed and loved yourself well and put back the pieces of your broken self together, love will find you and it will be beautiful.

#answered #tete-a-tete #ft #qq #rara #joonkookiemonster #RoW suffering club #THIS IS AN EXCHANGE BETWEEN DEVASTATED READERS OF RoW #SPOILER POST PLEASE AVOID AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ RoW YET #UNLESS YOU WANT TO SUFFER? BE OUR GUEST ~ #combined word count: 2579k~ #this was super long i'm sorry rara ~ love you!

[serenagaywaterford]

1) Okay, I'm late (bc rl sucks), but I'm back and I'll gradually address everything. "Also do not feel any pressure to respond to my multiple essays! I understand completely!"The same goes to you, bc I feel like I'm bothering you too much. That being said, I truly enjoy talking to you. Not only you offer fresh/perceptive insights into the characters' minds (which made me a. reconsider scenes and motives, b. wanna rewatch S1 --some scenes you're commenting on are SO fuzzy in my head-- mind you,

2) 2) I’m already rereading the book), but you also provide such hilarious, sarcastic lines (some of them are absolute killers).

3) personalities” I know you have an inkling of who’s who. :D But damn, that ‘lesbianing’ bit had me giggling. Kudos, fellow anon. Since we’re on the subject, I have another question about your fic (if you don’t mind): is it post s2 or s1/s2 canon divergent? b) “Add horrid fangirls to that and it’s a big ass no lol.” Ugh. Fandom smh manages to sour my opinion of characters/ships/series I personally like. Especially when fans start pestering the creators to cater to their whims or harass actors

4) or start ship wars. Double ugh. c) “So, that’s the Mass Effect connection!” Two more similarities: i. Mass Effect’s Miranda Lawson got a lot of fandom hate back then (even though she was a famous character), just like Serena. ii. She has a back-and-forth, bickering (hateful but not THAT complex) relationship with another female character. d) “I have seen Westworld! Well, okay, just the first season. I got too tired/confused to get past the 2nd season premiere.” Oh, sorry. I shouldn’t have

5) assumed. Believe me when I say it’s a good thing you stopped watching when you did. The overall quality of the series remained pretty much the same (e.g. acting, cinematography, direction), but, oh boy, some new plot twists (which I usually like) are SO OVER THE TOP in order to impress (?) the audience. It’s reached a point where some characters are unrecognizable, bc they’re servants to the plot. Maeve has a lot bigger arc in S2 and Newton is thriving (imo, S2!Maeve >> S1!Maeve), but so is

6) Strahovski/Serena. :D e) “don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her."Ah, another thing we have in common. There were times I’ve been blocked by fandom people (with beautiful edits) that I NEVER interacted with (except for maybe reblogging from each other). That’s not me complaining. Like I said, each to their own.I just find this phenomenon funny at times. Story time. Once, an out of nowhere anon (whose msg I

7) didn’t publish, bc drama is SO not my thing) said they’d block me, bc of an uploaded gifset for a canon pairing (which wasn’t to their taste apparently) that was tagged as #[series]edit (although the ship!portmanteau was right there, too, so that people could easily block it). I remember being like: "Okay. Good for you, anon!” LOL. f) “I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.” I did NOT actually, but feel free to8) enlighten me.

——–

I am sort of back! (RL does get in the way of incredibly lengthy essays about fictional TV shows!) NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY!! I am just so happy I get to read all these excellent thoughts, analyses, and feelings you have! (and that we clearly share lol, including the sheer amusement of your writing!). I really want to write more at the mo but my hands are doing that weird old lady thing where you can see the veins popping out and it makes me v uncomfortable to look at. Especially since I have little baby hands. I hate it.

Ok, I’m now kneeling on the floor and the computer is on the kitchen island. This is better. I cannot see the top of my hands. 

SO. Where was I? OW. my kneeeessss. This is a bad idea.

I’m so lost. Fic question. right. It’s post-S2. Like… quite post-S2. I didn’t even deal with HOW or WHY June is back in the Waterford’s house tbh cos I can’t be bothered to sort that out. (Thanks, show.) So, it just assumes that for some reason, she’s back. Which, if the BTS pics/video is to be believed, that’s the case anyway. 

Fangirls (and boys ofc) ruin so much for me. Even if I like the same thing initially. Ugh. Then sometimes they’ll annoy me so much that I end up liking the complete opposite of what they like. Dunno why.

No worries about Westworld! It’s a reasonable assumption! Please don’t apologise, my friend. I do agree that Thandie was very good in S1. IIRC, her character was my fav (other than Clementine lol). Yvonne S2 was just next level shit to me. Like, what you’re saying makes me wanna give S2 WW another shot but when shows get overcomplicated, they’re not much fun anymore when I’m like “BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING LOL”. 

>> “There were times I’ve been blocked by fandom people (with beautiful edits) that I NEVER interacted with (except for maybe reblogging from each other)”

EXACT SAME. It was actually in THT fandom most recently lol. Like, I reblogged one of their pretty edits once. Ever. I didn’t even say anything snarky or bitchy or rude in tags. I don’t think I added any commentary at all. Next thing I know? BLOCKED. Never interacted with them in any way whatsoever. (Typical N/J fangirl lol.) It’s the strangest behaviour and it’s that kind of thing that sours me towards sects of fangirls, and sometimes even the characters they like. Maybe that’s just petty but I think it actually just reinforces pre-existing feelings I had towards the character or pairing.) The only blogs I block are ones that are gross, RP, or spam. (RP blogs is a long history of them stealing and spamming and adding awful commentary to my posts way back in the day, so I just… block em. lol.)

>> “they’d block me, bc of an uploaded gifset for a canon pairing (which wasn’t to their taste apparently) that was tagged as #[series]edit (although the ship!portmanteau was right there, too, so that people could easily block it). I remember being like: “Okay. Good for you, anon!” LOL.”

Oh. My… WHAT. There’s a very odd sense of entitlement here that seems so peculiar to me. Like, that’s what the blacklisting feature is for? I’ve put every version of my most despised pairings, characters, etc. and it works? Very rarely does it miss on. I guess we’re just dramaphobic, mature old fandom farts. Like, “Kids, let me sit you down and tell you about this site before you could block things. Before even XKit was invented…” Not to mention every other website ever lol.

HOLY GROSS… I just got up and a centipede fell off me!! WHYYYYYY. THIS IS WHY I DON’T SIT ON THE FLOOR. (we live near the beach/woods so we get lots of bugs no matter how clean we are…) no more painful kneeling for me i guess…

OKAY. Spoilers. It’s not much but other than the June in Martha costume (which was shown in the teaser Superbowl trailer anyway by now)… there were set pics of Emily, Sylvia, Nicole, and Luke all happy and smiling. IIRC. I can’t find the post anymore. So it may not have been in character. But I dunno… it all seems… too easy? Like, I’m glad Emily is safe but omg. She’d better not be all hunky dory “I stabbed a lady and threw her down the stairs, murdered another, and ran a dude over with a stolen car, but now I’m Canada, I’m all healed!” (Not including the heart attack/crotch kicking here cos that was fair play to Emily. She deserved that.) Like, honestly, as much part of me was like YESSSS at all of those, still… that’s grievous bodily harm with intent to kill, flat out murder, and vehicular manslaughter. For Emily to do those things, you don’t do those crimes without being really broken and damaged. And… yeah. That doesn’t magically disappear when you hop over a border.

#spoilers #Anonymous

[zombolouge]

Ah you are too kind!

(cont) Maybe it's because I'm only at the beginning and I take things reeeally slowly, but still, it'd be nice to be able to fix this. One huge question though: how do you write from a child's perspective? For example, in the story I'm writing, Link is 10 in the first few chapters. I'm having trouble with conveying his thoughts across, since they either sound too mature or too childish. I keep saying 'his mother' whenever she does appear, and after a while it gets repetitive - but I don't think I'd use her name since Link wouldn't call her that. So how to go about writing from a third person child perspective? Thank you so much for your tips!

Ah, yes! I went through this same thing when I started writing again myself. I wrote a LOT when I was younger, then stopped for about 9 years before I came back to it. (I started writing again in 2014, seriously about a month later). Then it was like picking up a rusty bike and trying to make the wheels go. There are several things I wrote that will never see the light of day because they were terrible. But that’s all part of the process! So don’t feel bad if it all feels like a disaster at first, because it gets better. In the beginning, your main concern is to just try and write as much as possible, and to finish things. Once you get that down, you can start making things better through editing and more critical thinking. ^_^

Okay, so I can certainly share what helps when I write longer fics, though this process doesn’t always work for others. When I wrote Tearing Down the Heavens, it started as a mish-mash of scenes that I had half-written that I was stringing together. I think by like chapter ten I had already gotten overwhelmed trying to do that, and I opened a word doc and just made a list of the “important plot moments”. Over time this grew into a true, blue outline. 

I don’t think I could write such longform fic without the use of an outline. Some writers can, and some writers even find that an outline completely ruins their creativity, but for me it’s a necessity. Sometimes my outline is incredibly detailed, including lines of dialogue or descriptions or notes about backstory and themes. Other times it’s not more than a line or two about a scene. For instance, the first chapter of A Hundred Years in the Making has a very detailed outline, where I wrote out almost all the dialogue between the King and Vallus. I ended up changing it as I wrote the scene around it, to make it flow better, but the base was there. In contrast, my notes for the portion where Link is traveling to the castle were vague (I actually only put “Write shit about Link’s feelings while he’s on the horse”, which is not particularly helpful notes to myself, but there you have it). I also don’t tend to flesh out the outline all at once. For instance, I may know that I want a certain thing to happen, but I don’t know how I want it to play out or any other details. So I’ll make a note in the outline that says something like “Character tries to leave, gets caught by other character” or something. Then, as the earlier chapters get written, I may add more context, so I could end up with something like this (I’ll use some of the older outlines for Facing Down the Void for this example):

“Autumn wakes up in a panic, convinced something is wrong. 

- Solas is trying to leave, she races through the cold night air to find him and confronts him. He is hurt, miserable to be back around her and torn about what he must do, so he is cold to her. His attitude breaks through her calm, and she starts to cry as she yells at him, demanding to know why he’s leaving again. She doesn’t understand, he doesn’t want her to, but the sound of her voice breaks his heart. He turns and makes his confession, kissing her even though he knows its the worst thing that he could do. She is stunned, and finally lets him go as she processes thing.”

That eventually turned into a pretty complex scene that I wrote very early on and edited several times before it was published.

The reason why I find outlines necessary is that I have trouble writing something if I don’t know where it’s going. I need to have at least a general idea of what I’m building to, or it takes me about 8 times longer to write a chapter. It helps me do proper foreshadowing, and it helps me understand character motivations and growth arcs better. For instance, in As Bright as the Stars, I knew that Saeyoung was going to lie to try and hurt Nicky from the get-go. I had been setting that betrayal up from the start of chapter one. If that moment had been a surprise, however, if I hadn’t planned it, then it wouldn’t have the proper groundwork laid before it. Twists and turns in the plot are what make a story gripping, BUT, they can’t come from nowhere. Your reader should look at surprises and say “I did not see that coming, but I should have”, not feel like it came completely out of left field. You should be able to point to your previous chapters and say “see, there is the proof that this could happen”. Otherwise the shock is cheap, and people tend to lose interest. 

Outline will help you map out events, get foreshadowing in place (important for pretty much all types of stories, including things like slow burns), and understand the characters better. Because when you outline, you are forced to think “what would this character do in this situation”, which then makes you think about the character and think about how they react to things and how they think. Although your story is still going to throw you curve balls, and you shouldn’t be afraid to change an outline when needed. In As Bright as the Stars, I didn’t realize that Vanderwood was going to be such a huge part of it at first until I wrote her first chapter and realized “oh shit I have feelings about this character that need to be told”. I then paused writing the story and worked on my outline to expand it to include this new revelation. So things will still happen that weren’t planned, but at least you have good starting points to handle them better. 

I’ll be honest, though, part of my process is pretty much nonstop consideration. If I am not actively writing, I am usually thinking about writing, or thinking about characters, or word choice, or themes. I’ve written entire scenes in my head on my morning commute and then hurriedly outlined them once I arrived at work. I’ve spent actual hours thinking about something a character did and trying to figure out WHY they did it, to understand that character. So don’t feel bad if a good chunk of your “writing time” is just sitting around and thinking about it, because you have to work those things out at some point before the words will start to come. 

Flow!! Okay, so one of the best things for flow is reading it out loud. You will, in fact, feel like a moron reading your own work out loud to yourself, especially at first. But hearing the words spoken into your ears will trigger different processes in your brain than just reading them. This can often highlight points where there are problems, or where the word order doesn’t work. This goes double for actual dialogue, which should be read out loud until you feel like you have become the characters. If a scene feels weird, it’s usually because your making a character say or do something that doesn’t feel like something they should say or do, which will throw everything off. 

Another thing that I find helpful for both flow in general and dialogue is to map out a scene in very specific, very bland details. (ESPECIALLY FOR ACTION OR SMUT, THIS MAKES THOSE SCENES SO MUCH EASIER). So I would open up my outline, or an empty doc, and write something like this:

“Character A (Jeffrey) opens the door. 

Sees Character B (Heather) arranging matches. 

Jeffrey: Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware...(pauses, curious) What are you doing?

Heather glares. “I’m arranging matches.”

Jeffrey: “Oh.” (pause) “Why?”

Heather (upset): Because it’s what Sebastian would have wanted!”

Jeffrey closes the door slowly.”

I can then look at that outline and turn it into a scene because I have enough notes to go off of, and I know what’s supposed to be happening at any given time, so it lets me focus more on the descriptions rather than the ideas. I wrote up a quick example scene based on that outline (it is rushed, so forgive me if it isn’t a masterpiece XD)

“Jeffrey placed his hand on the cold door handle, already feeling the weight of the other room bearing down on his shoulders before he had even turned the brass. The house was quiet, and the room was quiet, but he was certain that there was unhappiness beyond the threshold. Still, it was a door, and what purpose would doors have were they not meant to be opened? He twisted his palm, pulling the knob along with it, and pushed the wooden boards forward to reveal the room beyond. 

He was surprised to see Heather within, standing in front of a table with one hand on her half-cocked hips. She didn’t look up as he blinked at her, taking in the silent scene with all the dignity that he could muster in such a situation. The house was silent, so he had presumed that it was empty. His error had been the source of his ominous premonitions, knowing that the room had held misery without knowing why. Heather’s presence had that effect on them all lately. 

He cleared his throat, wishing that he could be a thousand miles away from this position at precisely this moment. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware...” his words trailed off, flat and lame in the deadened air as she shifted, moving just enough so that he could see the stack of matches on the table before her. She lifted one in her long fingers, the tip of the match the same ruby color that was smeared across her fingernails. She held it aloft, inspecting it for something, judging its character like a redheaded soldier that had been stripped and homogenized before being shipped off to war. She then took it and placed it atop a second stack of matches, piled in a tower that shuddered with the weight of the new addition. “What are you doing?”

She narrowed her eyes into a sullen glare as she looked at him, clicking her tongue before offering the obvious. “I’m arranging matches.”

“Oh.” he nodded, a compulsory action, as though this made perfect sense. He should have left it, should have mumbled some apology and retreated from the room, but his damnable sense of curiosity burned too brightly in the back of his throat to clamp down on the question before it came tumbling out. “Why?”

She rounded on him, her hands clamping into furious fists that stuck to her sides, the matches in the tower tumbling across the table in careless disarray. “Because it’s what Sebastian would have wanted!” Her voice wavered between madness and grief, and he winced at the force of it, seeing the tears that he had unleashed. It was too much, too great a burden to bear in this moment, on this day. He felt sorry for her, sorry enough to furrow his brow in a voiceless apology that would do less to disturb the fraught air than words would. He felt sorry, but not sorry enough to reach an olive branch across the divide between them. Instead he backed out of the room, shutting the door with the slow deliberation of someone who knows he could have been a better person if he had just left it open. Her cries of frustration followed him out, and he knew that he was a terrible man.”

I think I spent about ten minutes on that little scene, and that was mostly because I had the blueprint of that outline to go off of. I knew what the characters were doing, and I had notes about when it was important for them to feel a certain way, so it was easy to create a bunch of flowery prose around it (well, not EASY, but certainly easier than if I had just tried to plop it out onto the page from nothing). Now, I usually write out all my dialogue in this manner before writing the full scene, ESPECIALLY important dialogue or dialogue involving more than 2 characters. Just write it out like a script, with the name of the character followed by what they said, and that’s it. Maybe a note or two of what they did or how they said it, but only if it’s really important. What this does is let you focus on what they’re saying and if it fits their character, without getting bogged down in irrelevant descriptions or worrying if you’ve used the word “said” too many times. It also makes it easier to read out loud to yourself to check how it sounds. The dialogue should always be able to flow and sound good on its own, with the rest of the text removed. If it doesn’t, then there’s a disconnect in the way they are speaking that will interrupt the flow of the whole scene. 

Okay, now on to your more specific question. Writing children! 

So one important thing to remember is that children are not stupid, nor do they think in baby talk (or talk that way). They also don’t tend to think of themselves as juvenile, because in their minds they already know enough to be basically an adult. This is especially true for a 10 year old, who usually wants to be out in the world experiencing things on their own, unless they’ve experienced something in their past that would dictate otherwise. They think they know everything, and that parents are just being dumb when they restrict them or make them follow rules. 

One thing about writing children is that they tend to be a bit more literal than adults. You won’t get a kid saying a lot of cutesy babytalk, but you will get them being point blank enough that it can be adorable or comical. It is also important, when writing a POV from a child’s perspective, that they will be lacking certain knowledge or ways of expressing things, but they won’t know that. So, for instance, if I were to write the scene of Link from Ocarina of time seeing Ganon taking off with Princess Zelda (just before she throws the Ocarina), I might try something like:

“He saw the horse thundering across the bridge, massive and domineering. He couldn’t quite see who was riding it, but he felt a sickening feeling in his stomach all the same. Anyone who rode a horse that mean couldn’t have been a good person. 

His fear was confirmed when the rider yanked the reins of the beast, causing it to rear up above Link’s head. He felt like an ant, hapless and waiting to be crushed under the foot of something dark and nameless. The horse returned to all fours, flaring its nostrils, and Link could see that man - Ganondorf - was astride the saddle, Zelda clutched in his metal-clad arms. The Gerudo smirked, and it made the feeling in Link’s stomach coil and writhe like a snake. A furious snake that was trying to flee from the scene, trying to force the person around it to move away, but Link stayed rooted to the spot, his feet as still as tree trunks. He could have gone his whole life without seeing something so evil as Ganondorf smiling, the glint in his eyes like poe-fire. It made him feel small and insignificant, a spec of dust in a whirlpool. It made him feel sick, and if he had been able to move he might have turned and wretched into the grass beneath his boots.

Ganondorf dug his heels into the horse’s ribs, and then everything happened in a flash. The horse surged forward, straight towards where Link was standing, and he had to leap out of the way to avoid being trampled. He felt something big and heavy bump into him as he was in the air, and the breath disappeared out of his lungs with a short wheeze. He hit the ground, and he thought he heard someone yell his name as he blinked, trying to clear the daze. Everything felt fuzzy, like reality had become a vague humming sound in his ears and nothing more. The sound of hoof beats turned from thunder to drums, and then faded slowly as the horse galloped away. Link tried to breathe, unable to keep himself from trembling as he did so.

Zelda had been right. That man was a terrible man.”

So, in this little snippet, I tried to keep things more simplistic than I normally would have. I avoid phrases that are overly flowery, and get to the point a bit quicker. I also avoid saying “Link was terrified”, because a 10 year old might not have the experience to know what terror feels like. They also may not want to ADMIT they are scared, especially not in the moment when adrenaline is high. Instead, I went for describing what he feels, so that the reader gets the idea. Additionally, when he gets hit, I made it more vague. If Link were an adult, I would have changed “He felt something big and heavy bump into him as he was in the air, and the breath disappeared out of his lungs with a short wheeze. He hit the ground, and he thought he heard someone yell his name as he blinked, trying to clear the daze. Everything felt fuzzy, like reality had become a vague humming sound in his ears and nothing more.“ to “He felt a blunt object slam into his side, just below his ribs, driving the breath out out of his lungs on impact. Shock rolled through him as his dodge carried him into the ground, the princess yelling his name as the horse retreated. He was dazed from the blow, and as he floundered on the ground he tried to shake away the humming buzz that was affecting the clarity of the world around him.” The difference here is that Link would have known he was hit by something, and where, and he would have had the words and understanding to know that he was in shock from the blow, and been able to take better effort to try and restore himself. 

Okay, so on to your final question, about what Link calls his mother...you’ll want to avoid using all forms of the name, because that would sound weird. If you feel like he would call her “mother”, than you should stick to that. If you feel like it’s getting repetitive, you can try changing up sentence structure to add variety, but be careful you don’t do it too much. Depending on the scene, you may not need to continue listing her, and just revert to “she”. 

For example: 

“Link’s mother smiled, as warm as the sun above them. “Come, sit with me.” she pat the grass beside her, and he ambled up the hill to join her. She was still smiling, and he tried not to look sullen. He must have failed, because she folded her hands in her lap, giving him a knowing look. “You’ve been bickering with your father again, haven’t you?”

“No.” he sounded like a spoiled brat even to himself, and rolled his eyes as he gave into her ability to know everything he was thinking before he had to say a word. “He’s just...he’s so...”

“Stubborn?” She quirked her eyebrow skyward, and he laughed and nodded, feeling the anger in his chest dissipate as she brushed his hair off of his brow. “He can certainly be...firm. You know that he means well, don’t you?”

So, in that, I only had to mention “mother” once, but you still knew exactly who I was talking about (I think, at least lol). There are also other ways to indicate things, but you definitely want to avoid things like switching from “mom” to “mommy” to “mother”. In this instance, “Mother” is the stand-in for her name, so you would treat it as such. You ALSO wouldn’t switch to her actual name if you’re in Link’s POV, because he wouldn’t think of her that way.

Oh boy, I rambled for waaaaay too long. Hopefully this helped??? Haha, I am very sorry that this is so terribly verbose, I got carried away. 

If you have follow-up questions, feel free to let me know. And if anybody else has different questions, you can also feel free to let me know. ^_^ And of course, this is not a hard-and-fast rulebook. These are just the things that work for ME, which may not be helpful to anyone else. Everyone’s process is different, so don’t feel too frustrated if you try this stuff out and it is utterly useless XD

Thank you so much for thinking of me, and I hope that at least some of this is usable to help you get your story written!!!!

#zom gets asked #writing advice #I rambled I'm very sorry #anon friends #Anonymous