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fountainpenguin · 6 months

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"But I am even more than the two of them; everything they care about is what I am- I am their fury; I am their patience..." (x)

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New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 16 - “Flare (Sniff, Scott)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

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While the Dog's Life server plays Session 2, SnifferMyFeet fights the offline Etho for control of his body... Scott and Lizzie recover from the shock of a wild caving adventure, Grian and Bdubs pay the Sushi Boys a visit, and Sniff and Jellie spend some quality time together.

(First 1,200 words under the cut)

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SnifferMyFeet - Player (Unthreaded)

Quarry: Debatable

Hunter: Frequently himself

Allegiance: Whatever this is

🖤 🖤 🖤

"So I guess that's the story," Sniff says, pressing the last piece of gingerbread roof into place. He melds it tight with a flicker of his crafting ability. None of the houses in the ConVex storage room are decorated with sugarcane, frosting, or chocolate chips, but maybe that comes later. The agent simply wanders to the corner and pulls out more cookie pieces so it can work on the next rustic cabin in line. The fact that it's dark doesn't seem to be a problem. Sniff doesn't mind it either. "I don't know, Weird Grian Agent… The cuddles are nice and all, but let's be real… I don't have a chance with Scar or Etho. I mean, Etho called me 'Joel' when we were snuggled up… I don't know if we're coming back from that. Maybe I'm afraid to express my true feelings because I worry that he'll never see me for who I really am."

The agent beeps a few times, not even looking at him. Sniff rolls his eyes.

"Gee… Thanks for that vote of confidence. You don't have to be so snippy."

This time the agent turns full around, growling low in the back of its transmitters. Sniff watches idly, wondering how hard he'd have to punch the thing to knock it on its back. The agent bleeps once more, then turns away as though it scoffed.

"Yeah, all right… I just don't know where to go from here. I mean, look at me. Right now, I'm a charity case just getting by on the kindness Etho, Cub, and Scar have shown me. Oh, yeah- and Grian, I guess. Beef… I'm not in the system. I don't have my own flat. Maybe Pig will let me share, but he always said he lives in a really cramped studio. I haven't even seen him yet since I came to Between… and surely he would've asked around for me, right? I mean, he's usually come home at least once by now. But if I go looking for Pig, I might get answers to questions about his private life I really don't want to have. Like about whatever's going on between him and TwoMuchGrian. You look like you know Grian. D'you know if Pig and Two are married?"

The agent ignores him, kneeling down. It starts setting up the first wall on a cardboard foundation. Sniff runs his fingers through the back curls of his hair, sighing through his teeth.

"I guess deep down, what I really want is for everything to go back to the way it used to be. I want my husbands back, but I can't just say it to their faces… I mean, if they liked me, wouldn't they already be dating me? Err… Grian and Joel."

No response. Maybe a stifled beep. Only one.

"This is just a lot to take in. I mean, I probably shouldn't be worrying about it right now. I guess I should take my time to get used to Between and let the rest fall into place, but if there's any chance, I don't want to lose them, y'know? So it feels weird breaking up with them if it's not hopeless yet. Plus, I'm bored… I miss Etho and Scar. It used to be that I barely went anywhere without one of them hanging around me. When they were gone, I always knew they'd come back- I built our bases or whatever. But now they might never come back, and I'm probably about to get dumped twice back to back by two people I really like who've maybe kind of sort of been leading me on, and that's really gonna hurt…"

The agent starts work on the second gingerbread wall.

"And I already know that if Pig had to choose between spending time with me or all his cam account friends, I'd never win. I mean, I've never won him over in that regard. I guess he's got Two? I think that was implied. I'm pretty sure he only came home when all his friends were at work and he was off. And I guess I'm grateful, because he could've just left me on that server forever… but, like, he never mentioned unthreading to me as an option? What's up with that?"

And that's a hard pill to swallow (emphasis on the 'aha'). Sniff flops back against the doorframe, draping an arm across his eyes. It helps a little. It almost makes it silly, and then it doesn't sting so badly.

I mean, when Etho told me about unthreading, I jumped right up. Why didn't Pig ever…?

It would've been nice. If when Joel went under for surgery reasons, Etho knocked politely at the door of his and Pig's flat.

I guess if one of my lookalikes ever needs my code again, Etho will be back. Maybe someone should "accidentally" bump Joel or Grian off a cliff.

"Things seem pretty good in Between, and there are all these other servers out here. Pig can go have fun with his friends any time he wants. I don't know if he visited because he liked me? I think it was just duty, boredom, and pity. Like, geez… I'm not as interesting as a thousand worlds to explore. And we're not dating; Pig knew how I felt about my husbands, so he didn't make moves on me, I think. Or he's not interested, but I don't care about that as I like fighting him.

"Although, it is a bit messed up that he never told me they were off the market… Well, I guess I don't know if they're off the market, but you know what I mean. I really miss them, though. Scar's snuggles are the best, but Etho really makes you feel special when he's affectionate. I really liked their hugs. And our old bases. I loved The Relation ship… and the Red Velvet Keep. I actually do miss those pandas… not that I'd ever tell him that; he'd get such a smug look on his face. I miss chasing pillagers with Etho. And the carroting. The way he used to take me apart…"

He trails off, cradling his cheek against his knuckles. He never did carrot with Scar (Too scared; too stressed; reasons unclear), but he did carrot with Etho. A little. Mind your own blummin' business. He sniffs then, pathetically, which is miserable in the sense that it grounds him to his name (like a boot heel twisting him into the dirt).

He exhales. "I know breaking up's the right thing to do… because even if they want to date me, we'd be building that relationship on memories that only I have. Mine are wrong, apparently. I don't know what's up with that; Etho said I probably have roleplay memories without the context that it wasn't real, so my brain invented its own context, though that still leaves me with a dozen questions… My sneaking around the hub hasn't yet led me to some memory erasing business. I'm just not ready to get double dumped. They might not think I'm worth hanging out with anymore…"

They're experienced players. They don't want some oblivious newbie sniffing at their feet.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

#trafficblr #SnifferMyFeet #EthosLab #Scott Smajor #Grian #BdoubleO100 #Lizzie LDShadowLady #Skizzleman #NPC Grian #traffic life smp #Sniff and Pig #ridwriting #Dog's Life #fic announcement #apparently art #Dog's Life art #cubfan135 #mcyt #trafficfic

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melodyschaos · 1 year

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Can we have more poly web it amazing dynamic!!!

A/N: You people would not believe how many Sapphire Polyweb requests I have sitting in my ask-box assdhfkjdshf it's ok I love them too! Burnout has me in its grippers but I think I can spare some headcanons. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - I imagine the Mayor maintains his normally creepy personality 24/7, which helps him dodge the LBD's suspicions that anything's amiss. He still feels honor-bound to his lady, but it is rather conflicting that he wants to hold you and the spiders gently and give you all kisses. - Does he have a few scrapbooks with wedding ideas? Maybe. It gets boring sometimes when the spider demons are off getting their asses handed to them by the Monkie Crew and you're off busy making sure they don't get completely murdered. - Taking this time to point out that the Mayor used to be an Emperor's Chief of War...and normally in Chinese dramas it's the Chief of War that either makes or breaks an empire by either joining the rebels or defending their monarch until their last breath. Just some food for thought. - In the grand scheme of the polycule I can see the Mayor trying to keep an eye on everyone since, at the very least, you would be upset if anything happened to them. Which is gonna get complicated when LBD's plans finally hit, but I have my theory on how that would shake out! - We don't actually know if the spider demons were necessary for the Bone Mech, so I'm imagining that rather than killing the Spider Demons (as is what we think happened), he probably teleported them to a liminal realm he controls where no one can access without his permission. You, of course, would be brought there as well. The Spider Queen was the trickiest to scoop out of danger, especially with the Lady Bone Demon right there. He had to time the portal to be just beneath the surface of the trigram's contents, there was likely some damage she sustained despite his precaution. - Everyone is still very. Very horrified because from their perspective the Mayor just decided "die <3", which cemented their worst fears about him - They get it, you love him too so he as to be included, but even with months of living with him, going on group dates with him, and having him sometimes hang around the base he still gives them the heebie jeebies - Spider Queen probably had it the worst, she got dragged into the furnace and likely has serious burn wounds all over her body - Sure, the Mayor says he never planned to hurt them, but it's a bit hard to reconcile with just how well he was able to finesse his lady with a straight face - Imagining after LBD was defeated he went to stay with you and the spider demons in his little liminal realm. Probably start trying to make it less liminal and more...habitable. - Imagining a nice three-story home that no one but the Mayor can enter or exit freely (he has to keep you safe after all), but if you look out the windows it's picturesque forestry - Don't mind about food, he'll just bring you some! - "My Lady said she desires a perfect world, but she has not had time yet to see how perfect all of your imperfections are! We simply must give it time, I am sure I will be able to sway her mind."

#lmk #lmk x reader #lmk mayor #lmk mayor x reader #lmk mayor x reader headcanons #lmk spider queen #lmk syntax #lmk huntsman #lmk goliath #lmk spider queen x reader #lmk syntax x reader #lmk huntsman x reader #lmk goliath x reader #lmk sapphire polyweb x reader #lmk sapphire polyweb #lmk sapphire polyweb headcanons #lmk season 3 spoilers

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lumine-no-hikari · 4 months

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #60

I rested for most of the day today. And mostly for real this time! It was beautiful!

After waking up this morning, I tried to play Pokémon. Unfortunately, I have executive dysfunction (this is part of being AuDHD), which means that sometimes I have a lot of trouble starting tasks even when they're fun ones. It's super annoying like that. So instead of waking up and immediately going to play Pokémon like a sane person, instead I floundered around for an hour or two, doomscrolling (or hopequesting? I've heard it referred to like that) uselessly.

…Truth be told, I keep looking for any news about you. I keep looking for any indication that you'll be safe. I'm worried about you almost all the time, and the fact that there's nothing I can do to help you besides write these silly letters is more painful than I know how to describe.

Oh well. Today I supposed that if I wanna rest properly, I've gotta let my brain flounder around from time to time without putting pressure on it to do something else. And that's kinda hard to do. It feels like I'm wasting time when I get stuck in that kind of mental paralysis. But if I beat myself up over it, that's just gonna make it worse. So I tried to go with the flow without worrying too terribly much about what the "correct" way to spend my time looks like.

I can't help but wonder if you ever struggle with any of what I've described. Hm.

In the end, I was able to play Pokémon for a little bit. And then M woke up and wanted to play Core Keeper together with me, and that was lovely. I built a huge, sprawling garden that waters itself and grows lots of tasty food! It's almost like Terraria, except it's from a top-down perspective instead of a side-scrolling perspective. It's still in early access, but it's still a lot of fun for a game that isn't finished cooking yet! I'm eager to see how this one develops!

Sometime after that, I had company over. The same friend who made me aware that the pumpkin soup needed more umami came over with her lovely son. They've been having a hard time lately, and it came to a head recently with something very serious. So they came to my house for support, advice, and refuge from the stress for a little while. We made sure to feed them good food and provide a space in which they don't have to feel pressured to exist in a particular way. My friend's son showed me his wonderful sketchbook and all of the awesome pictures he took on his phone; it was beautiful! As I'm writing this, my friend's son is at ease playing some video game on our TV, and my friend is out on a walk with J; I hope they're having a wonderful time!

My friend is having a bit of a hard time trying not to beat herself up over the way things turned out, as well as for the fact that neither she nor her situation are perfect. So I decided to give her the bowl I repaired, after explaining to her the context of what it means. I'm hoping that she'll put it in a spot in her house where she can see it regularly, so that she can be reminded that we are at our most beautiful when we do the work to turn our imperfections into strengths, and that beating ourselves up is counterproductive. The bowl will do the most good where it can remind someone of their humanity. I hope she will eat lots of wonderful and tasty soup from this bowl, and from it, remember to be gentle with herself.

I like that my house is a place where the people in my social circle feel is safe to go when they're having trouble. My life before was very weird, turbulent, and unsafe, but… now I have a house that is wholesome and safe. I know that I still have a very long way to go before I'm as "healed" as I'd like to be, but… I like to think it means I'm doing some things right at least some of the time. I feel very privileged to be in a position where I am trusted this much by the people who know me well.

I wish you could visit over here, too. Impossible, I know. But… you would be safe here. You wouldn't have to pretend to be someone you're not while you're in my house. You would not be pressured to interact with anyone if you didn't want to. No one would ogle you. No one would be demanding pictures or autographs. There would be only wholesome food, good tea, comfy places to sleep, and lots of fun and awesome things to do. You can just be you. Because my house is a safe place of rest for those who need it.

Hey, Sephiroth? Please keep yourself safe out there at the Edge of Creation, okay? Make good choices, and take good care of yourself. It might be impossible for you to ever visit my house, but you can build your own house with your own two hands, and you can build it up into something that is wholesome and safe, no matter how weird things have been for you in the past or even in the present, especially if you ask for help from kind, loving, and healthy people to make it happen.

Remember that you are loved. I'll write to you again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

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cherrykamado · 1 year

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"what's on your mind?"

a smooth melody of a calm voice you know very well, plus the gentle touch of a palm against the side of your head gets you out of your trance; you blink, turning to your husband and those gorgeous wine colored eyes that give you that warming, pleasant sensation that make you feel that you're home.

"nothing... nothing," you outline a smile, just out of reflex, but then a sigh escapes your lips. "i'm just... thinking."

"were you thinking?" he echoes, but judging the way your gaze averts from his own and drops, as so do the corners of your lips, give him the hint that today might not be a good day for you.

of course, his expression drops, his eyebrows knit together as his expression contorts into a frown. when he takes a closer look to you when he's sitting down on the couch in the sunbathed room, he notices your sun-kissed, puffy lids.

you've been crying, he concludes. his heart cannot but wrench in his ribcage, aching with the pain and the desire to take that pain, that burden that troubles you and instead endure it himself. in his eyes, you always deserve to wear that beautiful smile of yours: toothy, wide enough to make your eyes wrinkle up to the point that your orbs barely peak from in between your lids, to the point that your corners stretch and make one feel like they're gonna touch your ears.

you don't deserve this pain, and all the struggle. that's for sure.

but then tanjiro remembers — you also adore the scars that litter his hands, hands tainted with hard work and suffering. he was afraid once to touch you with them, with such a rough surface of skin against one as delicate as your own.

but you kissed his so considered imperfections (in his eyes), and told him those were what made him perfect.

the love you have for him, is the same that he shows you every day. at your best and at your worst. whenever you're not loving yourself, whenever you've forgotten that you're human and are allowed to be at your worst sometimes, just to raise back to your feet and shine brighter than before.

but that's what love is all about, right? a look, a gentle touch of hand to hand; the kind of touch that reminds you that he'll be there to pick up your pieces and help you stand up once again. you're his love, his bunny.

his sun, moon and stars.

he's patient. after all, both sun and moon fall just to rise back again and shine once more. after all, the sun dies every day to let the moon breathe, and helps her shine with his own light.

and that light is the one he shows you when, with a brush of his thumb, he gathers your attention and makes you turn back to him. that's when his other hand drops from the side of your hair, to your cheek. his look completely softened, he outlines a smile that could make the very same heavens crumble down by just the utter tenderness it irradiates.

it makes you lower your guard, and allow the tightness in your throat to ease itself, at least. it might pain him to see how your irises dampen and tears begin to swell, but you're letting it out; all and all, until you rest in his arms, completely vulnerable before the only person you trust your whole self, beautifully imperfect. whole, or in pieces.

so he encloses his arms around you, like gathering your pieces together, not worried about fixing you or anything.

that can wait, because he knows he can do that on your own.

"shhh," he coos, resting his cheek against the top of your head, eventually turning to plant a kiss on it. "it'll be okay. it'll be okay, bunny." he reassures.

and that's one of the many, many reasons he's in love with you.

#🍒 — works #tanjiro.💚#loml.💍❣️#oh dont mind me its just a bit of good ol vent writing<3 #i just missed him and i was having a not so good day (but it's gonna get better soon<3)

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iguessitsjustme · 8 months

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Okay I just saw your “Top Non-BL Asian TV Shows” list bc I was looking through the Love O2O tag (as one does) and I need to know if you have one for top BL Asian shows bc I’m obsessed.

Hello my dear anon! Sorry it took a few days to get to this. My brain has not been braining BUT I have a list for you! Before I get started though, I did make a list of my top BL from 2022 and there is definitely going to be some overlap there.

Anyway. This is in no way a comprehensive list and it's just gonna be in alphabetical order. I also couldn't limit myself to ten this time, so you're going to get 15. This got really long so it's going under a cut:

A Tale of 1000 Stars - This show is one of my all time favorite BLs. The story was so well told and the acting was phenomenal. Genuinely, this show almost made me cry (in a good way). I got real close and if you know me, that's impressive. This show is pretty close to flawless for me and it is the show I used to introduce my mom to BL and now she's seen a whole lot and loves it like I do. So this show will always have a special place in my heart.

2. Bed Friend - I went into this show expecting to mostly enjoy it but I was fully expecting it to be a trash watch. What I didn't expect was a beautifully told story about trauma and how that can impact relationships and how patience and kindness and support, genuine support, is a fundamental piece of loving someone. Truly astonishing. Blew me out of the water.

3. Cherry Magic - This show is so incredibly wholesome and cute. I love the premise and I always appreciate when we get shows about adults. Adachi and Kurosawa are so precious and adorable and truly the only people deserving of each other. No one else could possibly deserve the love and light of those two. Plus I love our aroace girlie. She deserves the world. I know Thailand is doing a remake of this show and I'm skeptical but hopeful. We'll see.

4. DNA Says Love You - I'm not sure if I actually classify this as BL but it is very queer and the friendships are solid. One of the best friend groups and such a compelling story. It took me a minute to get into it cause the first few episodes aren't the best, but once the story starts taking off it's so, so good.

5. Ghost Host, Ghost House - This show came at the right time for me. It was so heartbreakingly beautiful. Our main couple gets a happy ending but the journey to get there is hard and honestly I was going through a lot when this was released and watching it was very cathartic for me. It helped give me an outlet to process grief I was going through.

6. Light on Me - The only good love triangle I have ever seen. Daon is my baby forever and always. I truly believe this show did so much for Korean BL and opened the doors for longer form BL out of Korea. The real selling point to this show for me is the characters. The story is cute, if basic, but the characters and their relationships and how the interact with each other is truly wonderful. The acting is phenomenal and everything about it is just so pretty.

7. Moonlight Chicken - This show has so much of what I look for in older, more serious shows. This show was perfect in its imperfectness. We got two generations of queer men in a family and we got to see how each reacted to the world and to their own queerness. We got deaf representation and a character learning sign language specifically to communicate. Heart's story with his parents was honestly beautiful and I think it was handled really well.

8. My School President - So cute. Just incredibly adorable. FourthGemini are honestly ridiculously talented for their age. I'm very excited to see what they do next. My only issue with this one was the sheer amount of singing, but at least it made sense with the plot and it was built in singing. Watching Tinn and Gun's story play out was a treat every week. There was not a single episode that was not enjoyable.

9. Old Fashion Cupcake - This is it for me. Absolute perfection. This is flawless episodes. I have no notes. I love this show. This is my top BL of all time. Everything about this is excellent. I don't even know how to properly discuss this because I love it so much.

10. Our Dating Sim - I'm not normally a fan of reunion stories but this one is fantastic. One of Korea's best. There's not a minute of wasted time.

11. Our Dining Table - This is the cutest, the most wholesome, the most darling, the most precious show ever created. I could not be mad watching this show. Even if certain people pissed me off, if I went home and turned on this show, my rage was calmed and I was happy again. I bought the first volume of the manga for this and I'm planning on buying the rest whenever I'm able.

12. Seven Days - This is probably the most underrated BL out there. It's cute, it's wholesome, the characters are amazing. Watching these two fall for each other is one of the best treats you can give yourself. I'm about to make my mom watch these two movies in the next few weeks and I cannot wait.

13. Sing My Crush - I loved this show oh so very much. I'm pretty sure I stayed up until like 2 one night binging it. It scratched a particular itch for me in the pining childhood friends to lovers. I just love them so much. The villain was a bit too...evil...for my taste but it worked. Plus, I genuinely didn't mind the singing here.

14. The Eighth Sense - This is just good. I'm not sure I classify it as BL but definitely queer. I tend to prefer shows that deal with trauma of some sort and this show does that and does it well. How many shows do we have where a character is actually seeing a therapist? Plus the patience and love that Ji Hyun had to Jae Won was just heartwarming. This show isn't just one of my favorite queer shows. It's one of my top 5 shows of all time.

15. Until We Meet Again - To me, this is THE BL. I cried multiple times. It's tough to get me to cry once let alone multiple times. I had already gotten into BL when I started watching this but I'd say this show was probably my full blow decent into madness. I think I watched all 17 episodes in the span of 3 days while working full-time. Overtime at that. I didn't sleep. One of the most beautiful stories ever written. I'm a sucker for reincarnation stories and this just..is so incredibly beautiful. It got me in my feels.

There ya have it. That's a list. Definitely not all, but I'd be listing forever and getting my executive to function enough to write this was hard enough. ps if you like Love O2O, the ML, Yang Yang is the main character in King's Avatar which was another show I put on my top non-BL shows but I rewatched it recently and I don't know what I was smoking when I wrote that list but that show is so incredibly gay. There's no canon romance but it's still very gay

#thanks for the ask #i will probably do a top 2023 bl once this year is done #also not mentioned here because it's not bl but oh no here comes trouble is also one of my favorite shows ever ever #i cant even explain what that show did for me #anyway i think next time i'm gonna need to be stricter with the parameters i set myself #because this was many

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striving-artist · 2 years

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I'm...not sure food-based punishment IS okay? (I don't mean "you need to eat this because it's (supposed to be) healthy for you even if you don't like it", I mean "I am specifically making you eat a food you don't like because you did a Bad Thing"). Idk i think food as a punishment (and even reward) system could foster a lot of unhealthy eating habits or attitudes towards food.

But i've also never had kids and don't plan on doing so, so my opinions on that are all theoretical

Got a whole whole bunch of answers in various forms. Hallsy, I’m using yours to post because a bunch of comments went beyond the scope of that post so I don’t wanna clog it up.

(Crap this is long because I was working through my own thoughts and I don’t feel like editing)

— TLDR: parenting is hard, long as it’s not malicious, I’m probably not grabbing my pitchfork. —

One: didn’t know he told his kid they were normal apples. That’s nine new layers of wtf.

General Consensus seems to be that any tying of food to punishment (or reward) is shaky ground. And a lot of general statements on kids and food, all fascinating. Couple of comments for intuitive eating, which I think is a mostly great thing… but feels a little disconnected. It isn’t always applicable if you’re broke. Same thing with offering kids a different option if they don’t like that food. If you can only afford the single vegetable on sale and covered by Snap(they’ve improved the system but it’s still imperfect) that week, or if you’re eating whatever the food bank had, disliking a food isn’t enough reason to not eat it. I’m an adult, still hate veg, and still make myself eat some.

If they truly hate it, sure, you’ll avoid it and won’t make them eat it. But when the choice is Kid eats Zero Produce or Kid eats French Cut Green Beans, most parents are gonna insist they eat the beans. Kids are not logical or consistent. Yesterday they adored beans, today, they’re having a tantrum. Planning for their moods is hard, and I often side with the parents.

I also got a lot of general vibes of “the parents should never make a mistake in child rearing” that made me uncomfy. I wish that was a option. Really. But its not gonna happen. Ever. Not only does advice and recommendation change over the years, parents are humans. If you get home after two eight hour shifts in a row and need to make dinner, I can’t blame you for only making one meal choice or being a little snippy when they decide corn is the devil. Heck, less than that.

Legumes make my stomach real unhappy. I didn’t understand why but I knew I didn’t want to eat them. As in, they once said I couldn’t leave the table til I ate the dinner (chili) so I stayed there til midnight. (this was when dad realized this wasn’t just me being a brat and he’d make sure there was a spare stack crackers and extra cheese) But there were three kids, and it took til I was out of the house before it mostly stuck in my moms head that I hated legumes. (It’s cool. I never remember her birthday, she still sends me legume recipes) I know it made her batty that I fought every vegetable. My family loved veg and fruit. I had to be bribed to eat other than my four acceptable ones. I would also have found me very frustrating and probably said “eat it or not, but I’m not making you your own meal” pretty often. Parenting is exhausting y’all.

There’s also the factor of multiple kids. My siblings faves were meals I despised. (See above, chili, which the whole family loved) And vice versa. I’d i was happy, they were suffering. Cooking full alternate meals wasn’t an option(god we were poor) and yeah, they’d give me more of the part I hated least, and I never went to bed hungry, and it wasn’t done as punishment, but my child brain sure as heck thought it was.

The most damaging food based childhood thing wasn’t punishment, it was how hard they tried to avoid wasting food. Again, I get it. They bought the food that was on the cusp of going bad, it couldn’t sit in the fridge for five days. But that meant my dad pushed this No Leftovers thing. And, if you put it on your plate, you had to eat it. All three of us, to this day, have trouble leaving food on the plate even if we’re full. Again, not great, good intentions, he didn’t want us to starve, caused some issues, but not punishment because it wasn’t intended or treated that way.

Specifically on the punishment via food thing, I still find a weird grey zone here.

Say you have four meals planned for the week. One is your middle child’s top five foods. Middle child fights a kid at school. You decide to change plans and not cook that one tonight. (It’s me, I am middle child) that’s definitely in the Punishment category, because you’re withdrawing a promised Good Thing. But I’m totally cool with it now. I took that kid down hard, no, I don’t get to have my fave that night. Or the next.

That’s in the pile of ‘until you X to make up for it, you can’t have Y’ which is a solid thing to me? “Until you apologize for stealing all the crayons from your brother, you can’t keep coloring.” That’s instructive and reinforces better behavior. It being food makes it shaky. I get that. It’s why I asked for opinions in the first place.

I think I’m drawing my line between foods you dislike vs hate. You’re not starving, you’re just not happy about dinner.

And seriously, fuck that guy for the sneak attack spicy apples. If you and your kid show mutual affection via pranks, I’m probably okay with it, cause it’s one bite, they spit it out, and begin plotting revenge. Also, if they’re old enough to pull pranks, they’re old enough to understand that it’s not malicious. But dude. Wtaf

#look I love my parents #and they did everything they could for us #my dad skipped lunches to save up money to buy mom gifts #because then it wasn’t an extra charge to a tight budget #but parenting is SO HARD #kids are unpredictable #and sometimes it’s just ‘dear god please just eat’#the common theme on tumblr wrt children is that the parent should always yield #but guys #there comes a point #where the sanity of the parents matters too #if they’re screamingly angry #that’s not healthy for anyone #and the kiddo is often the source of the screaming anger

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weabooweedwitch · 1 year

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I feel weird as fuck commenting on your situation in any capacity because I'm just an online rando who doesn't know you personally or the details of your issues w/ your mom beyond what you post and it all just feels a lil too parasocial but even though alleged therapist anon raises some (potentially?) good points about your relationship w/ her and maybe overall emotional issues I don't think you should beat yourself up too hard. It's normal for trauma survivors such as yourself to have some unhealthy and toxic interpersonal habits (slightly side-eyeing alleged therapist for not at least acknowledging this instead of just going in on you). You're not perfect, your mom is not perfect, it's okay we're all imperfect beings on this planet we call earth. Whether or not you're a covert narcissist (not gonna lie I had to google that one lmao) is between you and a personal, ahem, real therapist. Maybe you have some emotional dysregulation issues okay so what? Those can be improved!

Fun story about this online rando I was actually diagnosed with moderate to severe BPD at age 18. It turns out this was kind of a misdiagnosis in the first place, but my symptomatology (namely RSD from neurodiversity) very closely mimicked that of BPD and I had a lot of emotional problems perhaps similar to your own. You mentioned doing a round of DBT when you were a teenager and not finding success, but according to my actual real therapist and personal experiences it's very common for DBT to need multiple rounds before the skills fully sink in. It's also way better doing DBT as a fully formed adult than a teenager who frankly, probably doesn't take their mental health nearly as seriously as they should lmao (this crazy girl shit gets less and less cute with age I'm telling you). I'm now 23 and after 3 rounds of DBT I'm told I don't meet the criteria for borderline personality at all and haven't for a while now. Unfortunately there is a lot of stigma around this disorder (I noticed therapist anon throwing the word 'manipulative' around a bit), but that doesn't mean it's actually true. In many ways BPD is the modern day hysteria, but I won't go down that rabbit hole, just don't pay attention to what ignorant and oftentimes lowkey misogynistic people have to say online about BPD or other mental disorder! They are stupid armchair diagnoses who 99% of the time don't know wtf they're even talking about. You are loveable and worthy of life <3

I slept after work and i have a few asks now so, I'm gonna start this discussion again but since I uh, can get overwhelmed and over emotional I might eventually disappear from answering if u need to step back, but, anyways

One thing I have to be careful about is automatically leaning into "oh maybe they aren't even a real therapist" and I even got an ask suggesting this was one of those bitch lasagna people who were trying to actively make me miserable, which, I don't think is the case, but I also have to be careful automatically discrediting or lashing out emotionally at criticism because, well, a big problem I've always had is not being able to trust my own judgment and needing feedback from other people, stemming I assume from self loathing and anxiety stuff and I technically already am diagnosed with dependent personality disorder which, lack of self trust is a symptom of that (I'm sure I've mentioned that but maybe not?). One reason i began venting online when i was younger was because I would often have these sorts of incidents with my mother and I would use my blogs as the equivalent of an "am I the asshole" forum. I try to have a discussion and hearing other people's perspectives is good, and, a big issue I've struggled with is my mom immediately trying to get personal or discredit other people when they try to criticize her. Like, this isn't me going "see, my therapist thinks she's a stupid bitch" I mean when i was a minor she would literally go from absolutely loving a therapist and thinking they're extremely talented and caring and then when I got mad and repeated things like "hey you know, this is a licensed medical professional saying that a big component of our mother daughter dynamic is that you will literally wear me down to do what you want and you make it extremely difficult for me to set boundaries" and she has, literally, gone "they shouldn't be talking to you about me like that, I'm your parent, oh they just believe you because they've only listened to you, not me"

Well. I had multiple therapy sessions where, sometimes the topic would be dealing with my sister, or because I often feel like I struggle to bring up everything from not remembering, there WERE multiple times she would come into a session with me just to add on behaviors she's seen in me and things we've dealt with with my sister, and I had therapists tell me "yeah let's not have your mom come in here, she kept actually venting about her own issues and she was literally taking over your session and she was actually talking over you"

And im not, saying that to "prove" my mom is shitty or to say "oh look see, im justified" but like. My anger has built up over time? This didn't just magically start happening?

Yeah I need to stop blowing up over smaller things but also at the same time, I think I have a right to be frustrated when I'm seeing the same mistakes over and over, at least the ones that can financially damaging? I'm still SHOCKED she just stopped randomly paying the garage because. The remote isn't working and we have to use the keypad and I think some of the keypad buttons are loosening so sometimes you have to stand there and try it a few times because sometimes it won't close, it'll "untouch" a button you're still holding down and start opening again. And her response to that was "oh they weren't getting back to my emails so I just stopped paying rent" like. She. She literally dug us a hole worth hundreds of dollars for.... feeling entitled to help and getting mad over not getting it? She's been doing these sorts of behaviors for years? (Rm for post length)

Like gee I wonder what would happen if she pulled that shit with our landlord. "Oh, im gonna stop paying rent because the exhaust fan in the bathroom doesn't work" like no???? Why is she doing these things???? I was literally raised in poverty, why is she still doing this after we've had a literal lifetime of hardships???? Like gee thanks for not paying rent when you had solid income and now you're unemployed with hundreds of dollars due, that definitely helps, thanks, that's so much better, what a wise decision 🙄 and I call her out on it and she like, she literally sees nothing wrong with what she did? Because they didn't immediately cater to her, she stopped paying rent in protest, and that's Their fault. Like. That's fucking delusional. What if the property management tells our landlord we aren't paying for the garage and we get evicted??? Like it feels like she doesn't even realize the consequences???

Anyways back to what you actually said, fjfjfjf I rambled there, one thing I've noticed about DBT from the few times I was inpatient and outpatient is. You really do have to be in the right headspace for it to even work. It's so weird because certain things they would talk about and I would go "yeah well obviously, thats common sense" and other things would, kine of create an epiphany. Like for example, a phrase I try to keep with me is "its a process not an event" which basically means "don't get frustrated at immediate growth or results, things can take time" and this can apply to therapy, medication, really you can apply it to anything, but for me personally often when I am not seeing direct or immediate results, I feel like a failure and might give up way too soon, or beat myself up when I Am showing progress, just slowly.

Another DBT mindfulness technique I actually need to practice more (and tbh this could be an adhd thing, bc, I've always had focusing issues and I've read adhd can actually cause emotional regulation issues as well) is, like. When someone is speaking to you, don't be sitting there thinking of your reply, like, literally sitting there waiting for the second they stop speaking to say what you want, because then you're not thinking about and absorbing what the other person is saying. Although in my case often times I find myself doing that because I'm afraid I'll forget what I was gonna say, and my mom could also use a little work in this department

I definitely do think it's time for me to be reassessed though. I feel like now that I'm older and can better articulate my thoughts and memories and how things affect my relationships and ability to function, it can, I dunno, yield more results? Like something I heard constantly as a kid was "oh you have depression and anxiety and a lot of things overlap, let's treat those and see what symptoms are left" and its like homie that's kind of such a bad cop out sometimes, I feel like doctors adopting that mindset in my case really missed some important stuff. Like shit it feels weird to say since the trauma that caused it isn't recent, but I still display PTSD symptoms just in the sense that I'm jumpier and hypervigilant, like if there's an unexpected noise I still physically jump, I get startled easier, just the constant like, urge and need to look towards sounds or survey my surroundings which, I recognize my brain is literally going "hey, keep a look out for DANGER"

Regardless like, me being able to have these discussions with other people, positive or negative, is ultimately for my own benefit. Because this really is a sort of thing I can't do on my own. This IS a thing you take other people's feedbacks and perspectives on. But Jesus like. I'm not saying anyone has to hold my hand but that really felt so personally aggressive and it sent me onto a really horrible mental space. You know sometimes people insult themselves and belittle themselves because they think they're a lowly little worm and they just, they just hate themselves bro, like, it isn't always some inherent attempt to manipulate or demand pity and comfort. I've actually overnormalized saying horrible shit about myself and joking about suicide to the point I say it just, really easily, it comes naturally to me now, and that's definitely another habit I have to break

There's definitely stuff wrong with me, it's just a matter of finding out exactly what and, working towards treating that. It's just, unfortunately going to take some time and I need to make sure I keep my head on straight and don't do anything drastic in a fit of helplessness and despair or anything 😅

#like i dont rven feel like i can reply to these more supportive messages because of the accusations im just. tricking people?#idk... im just trying to be good and its hard. im having trouble controlling myslef #i often have like visceral physical reactions when i get upset like my heart literally begins racing #this isnt oh miranda is throwing a tantrum like im often sttaight up in crisis mode #idk. i just. want to know what to dk

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mayhems-enstars-brainrot · 6 months

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self introduction!!

what's good!! my name's mayhem, i use they/them pronouns and i'm an 18 year old college student majoring in japanese (playing ensemble stars actually does help me learn a little bit lol). i've been playing ensemble stars for a month or two so i'm only rank 43 right now :/ but holy hell i am obsessed with this game. i love rhythm games (even though i'm not very good at them) and the characters in this game are fantastic, i've been hyperfixated on it for like a month and my friends are sick of me lmao

as my bio says, i'm a shuP/valkyrieP; yes i love mika as well, but there's just something about shu that makes me adore him more than any other character in the game. maybe it's because he's weird and strange but also sweet at times? maybe it's the fact that he's a (technically successful) cringefail? i don't know. but ever since i saw ex-valkyrie's 2-episode arc in the anime he's had me in a chokehold!! his character development!!! the artistry!!!!! UNMATCHED!!!!!!!

anyway... other characters i love and why!!

-wataru: he's silly :3 and i love his voice. fills me with serotonin every time i hear him go SuBarAsHii~ in the middle of a live. he is... the only member of fine i don't hate. eichi is a complex character but i personally do NOT like him (also i'm a shuP of course i hate him). tori is a brat. and yuzuru is barely worth mentioning. but i love how chaotic and goofy wataru is. truly the only good member of fine

-mayoi: if you couldn't tell, i love men that are weird and strange!!! love them dearly. also i kind of relate to him, at least with him having intrusive thoughts (that shit fucked me over in middle school lol). i love his hair and i love his sharp teeth and i love how he actually cares so much that it's the only thing that can override his anxiety. lastly, if i had vents and could go from place to place without being noticed you bet your ass i would every time.

-rinne: now i haven't finished chapter 5 of part 1 so i'm not sure how his story ends. however, i can say i've thoroughly enjoyed seeing him cause problems on purpose. i love when i'm in a live and he goes KYAHAHA and i'm like oh right rinne is here. his character development in the first half of chapter 5 alone has been amazing so i'm excited to see where his story goes.

-rei: as someone who very much identifies with the whole goth/emo/alt aesthetic, you KNOW undead is among my favorite units. rei is an amazing character in the anime (i mean, he helps so much, trickstar literally wouldn't have been able to do any of the shit they did without him) AND he made eichi faint by whispering some hard truths in his ear. based.

-leo: sadly i haven't seen that much of him, both in-game and in-anime, but i adore his energy. i'm also a songwriter, so i get the artistic struggle and whatever bullshit. honestly i think he's really cute and i'm excited to keep watching the anime because i'm on episode 13 and they showed him in episode 12 so surely that means he'll be in the show soon right guys? right?

anyway!! now i'm gonna move on to my favorite songs (and you'll probably be able to tell what my favorite units are based on them lol)

2wink: play tag, welcome to 2wink acrobatics

AKATSUKI: akatsuki iroha song, festival night picture scroll, strike -blade of resolve-, wild blooming flowers, pale red promise, perfectly-imperfect

ALKALOID: believe 4 leaves, kiss of life, hysteric humanoid, living on the edge, artistic partisan

Crazy:B: ariadne at the fingertips, crazy roulette, honeycomb summer, risky venus, helter-spider (idc that it's for halloween it bangs)

Double Face: =EYE=, stippling (these are the only double face songs i know)

Eden: the genesis, dance in the apocalypse, majestic magic, sunlit smile (eve), the beast of the end (adam)

Fine: never-ending symphony, neo sanctuary, holy angel's carol, crossing heart, the tempest night (wataru ily. 「愛」!!)

Knights: grateful allegiance, little romance, mystic fragrance, voice of sword

Ra*bits: joyful box, fallin' love=it's wonderland (best ra*bits song by far), love ra*bits party, milky starry charm

Ryuseitai: comet halation, unrivaled meteor ranger, ryusei hanabi

Switch: majestic magic, fragments of imagination, emerald planet

Trickstar: only your stars, rebellion star, crossing heart

UNDEAD: gate of the abyss, immoral world, melody in the dark, nightless world, valentine's eve nightmare, destruction road

Valkyrie: acanthe, kohaku to ruri no rondo, gaisenka, cloth waltz (UNDERRATED ASF), memoire antique, raisanka, enthralling theatre, tonight on the moonlit castle, sei shounen yuugi, sajou no roukaku, eternal weaving

also. bukubu new stars. koga ball <3

i think that's pretty much it? i guess i could confirm i'd consider my "favorite" units to be valkyrie (duh), undead, crazy:b, akatsuki, and alkaloid. i'm also aware that valkyrie just released a new album like a couple weeks ago so i surely will be checking that out and giving it a good listen over the next few days. i'm excited to meet more ensemble stars fans :3 if you wanna be mutuals just lmk i'm starved for people to ramble autistically to!!!!!!

#ensemble stars #self introduction

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ezdotjpg · 2 years

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If this is ok to ask do you have any tips on coloring art? Yours is amazing :)

thank u!! it's always okay to ask me abt art stuff!! I'm gonna assume that by coloring u also mean shading and rendering too. i have a post here explaining some color theory stuff i utilize a lot, so I won't talk abt that on this post. This, uh, got long......

first thing i’ll say is, if you struggle with color, don’t get too down on yourself. it's a deceptively complicated subject. It's easy to look at other people's art and get discouraged by how effortless they make it look, but chances are there was a considerable amount of effort involved. I still struggle with color, constantly. That being said, some stuff that helps me out is:

1. check your value structure. if your piece is turning out muddy or lacking depth, sometimes the problem is not necessarily the hues you've chosen, but that there's not enough contrast between lights and darks. I'll usually check this by throwing a black and white gradient map over everything just to see (this isn't a perfectly accurate way to do it, but it at least gives me the gist).

I was taught to thumbnail in 3 tones- black, white and gray. If your background is black, your midground should be gray and your foreground should be white. or any combination thereof, but the point is that they should contrast. These are general ballparks of what range of values each area should stick to. Here are some examples of ones I did in school (these have a bit more than 3 tones bc I do not follow rules lol):

I don't always thumbnail, but I do keep this concept in mind as I color. Basically, it's about making sure the eye knows where to go. In the case of that link piece, the general gist is, where the sunlight hits is the lightest value, shadows are the darkest, and link is mostly midtones where highlights don't hit. It keeps the focus on link and the flower. Even this piece is a little imperfect with the way the boots start to blend into the tree and dirt bc they're too close in both hue and value, but still.

Obviously, it's not value alone that makes the image work- Link's tunic is maybe a bit too dark in the black and white, blending with the tree, but it stands out in the color version bc it's so violently blue.

2. optical mixing!! basically, it's the way that adjacent colors blend to create a new color. It has a lot of uses in painting, but one of the best examples I can give is this Wayne Thiebaud painting:

Look closely at the edges. Look at the hints of bright red, magenta, blue, and green peeking through where they don't necessarily belong. you don't notice them at first, right? they blend in and aid in the overall light quality of the piece. they add life. they tie the palette together. that's one use of optical mixing! Wayne Thiebaud's paintings in general are great to study for this.

For a less perfect example, here are some places in my own painting where I use this. Look at where I place bright reds, blues, desaturated greens, etc. You can also achieve this effect by setting your background layer to a bright color, and letting it peek through (like an underpainting!)

Optical mixing is also related to the concept of avoiding overblending. I struggled with this so much lol. It's okay for your shadows and highlights to have hard edges. it's desirable even, because cutting them in the correct shapes can go a long way in describing form. All of this, of course, is a stylistic choice i prefer, and you can apply it however you like

4. make limited, intentional color choices. You don't always need the entire color wheel. Like i've said before, an apple doesn't have to actually be colored true red to read as red. Decide what tone and mood you want your piece to have, pick a general range of colors that reflect that, and try to stay within that range.

Like, this is a silly example lmao, but in this piece, everything is between yellow, orange, and blue-green. saturation and value varies, but the hues generally stay in that ballpark. it keeps things harmonious! if you color picked say, wild's skin, it'd be way too aggressively orange to be a real skin tone. but it works in context, because there's not a more accurate true-to-life color in the palette to compare it to. your brain just accepts it. This lends to the sense of warmth in the piece.

5. In digital painting, don't be ashamed of using gradient maps, overlays, etc. All of the above info can help minimize a reliance on them, but they're still helpful tools! I use them all the time for final tweaks and lighting effects. my personal secret is grabbing a bright yellow or orange, getting a big giant airbrush brush, setting the layer to add/glow (i use clip studio, not sure the photoshop equivalent) and just very lightly painting it in the direction the light is coming from. i'll turn down the opacity if its still too strong even with a light hand, because the add/glow layer can just shoot things to overexposed white really quick. It creates a nice glowy lighting effect :-)

6. this is gonna sound like total garbage, but, just, look at stuff. like, seriously, put on your artist hat in every day life and observe things. take careful note in your mind of what color shadows are, what shape highlights take on different materials, how objects change color when lighting conditions change. do some studies, from real life or from photograph. studies don't have to be perfect- just try to block in basic shapes and colors, and zoom out to check whether it's creating the right overall effect.

hope some of this is helpful!!

#processdotjpg #art tutorials #art tips #askdotjpg

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shoverse · 3 years

Text

everything you need

you're not enough, you never were. but it's ok. because you find someone who thinks you are.

kuroo x reader + kenma x reader

too young. that was all it was, really. you were too young. i mean, who really gets married at 20? well, you, i guess. you wished someone had stopped you. maybe it could have been kuroo. he was the one who made it worse, after all. but when he proposed, you were over the moon. because he wants you. he loves you. ha. now you're standing by where he proposed. leaning against the cold wall, you lose all the good memories you have of it. you run your fingers through the cracked plaster, frowning at everything you think of. but you don't run away because you know you can't hide. it's still there. this broken marriage. the love that was never real. you stay because you don't have anywhere to go. it's never gonna be the same. but now you can feel yourself slipping through the holes and imperfections of this... whatever this is. you don't know. you think too much. you think too little. not enough. at least, not enough for him. you have to go. go. go. go. he's not gonna stay for long. go first, or he will. then everyone will pity you. pity the poor soul that got divorced.

you stumble back at your shared house where he was never home. when he was? you try to ignore the faint smell of black opium. a scent that you literally hated. you glance over at the mirror. it's been so long since you've actually looked like yourself. you really should go. you haven't gone too far. maybe you can. your broken dream can still be saved! dreams of someone in love with you, someone loving you. maybe? go to bokuto. someone, just not kuroo.

but you know who you want. it's kenma. because it's always been him. and honestly? probably always will be. you miss when you and him would rage and hit each other with controllers. and try to cover each others eyes to get the other to miss. and both use donkey kong and just start smashing each other. because you could. and you felt alive with him. free, in a way like no one else could. and you were enough. and that was enough. for you, at least.

you could only imagine the surprise that was eminent on his face. well, actually you didn't need to. you were there, after all. it was pretty neat, actually. he done look like a confused waluigi. ' oh! y/n, come in.' his smile was still the same as ever, kind and genuine.. he extends his hand, expecting you to take it. you take one look at his outstretched hand, smile, push him aside and then run into his house. he huffs, ' and here i thought we were being mature adults.' ' as if you were mature.' 'yeah i am.' ' bitch please, you played rocket run until you were fifteen.' ' why are you exposing me?' you continued your play fighting, but, as all your other arguments ended, you were laughing your asses of. ' he grabs your hand and drags you to his room. ' yoo, dope setup dude.' ‘ i’ve been… working on it. hey, should I order some food?’ he’s always been so nice to you. ’ uh, sure.’ you were to busy inspecting the mess of tangled cords, seeing if you could fix it. were there… two plugs on one cord?

you flop down onto the bed. which was hard somehow. ' don't tell me you sleep on your gaming chair.' turns out he did. 'uh, i'll buy you a new one.' 'you got the money.' he looked at you, a grin slowly forming on his face. 'well, turns out that i'm a famous streamer with over three million followers purely in japan.' 'cool.' you looked unbothered, still scrolling through your feed. he walks over to the bed and sits down. 'oh yeah this bed is hard. anyway what are you doing?' he tries to steal a glance at your phone. 'nope. not until you by me a new mattress. do you expect me to sleep on your chair too?' 'you're sleeping over?' 'yeah. i kinda ran away.' he looks at you, but there's something different about him. something more serious. 'you ran away?' more concerned, you think. 'don't tell kuroo!' 'but he-' 'just... don't, ok?' he hesitates. you look at him and raise an eyebrow. he closes his eyes and exhales. 'ok.' he never told anyone. kuroo never noticed. and you saw him, when he was out with them. you didn't care, of course. you'd rather this than him try to find you.

besides, you had kenma. also your new mattress. everything you need.

my mental health before this was just ⇣⇣ so i stopped for a bit, but i'm back.<33

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corrupt-fvcker · 4 years

Text

Annoying (Boba Fett x fem!Reader)

Annoying ( Boba Fett x fem!Reader )

Warnings: fluff, hurt with sorta comfort, mentions of blood, one (1) mention of an erection, naughty words

Word Count: 3.1K

Author’s Note: boba may be a grumpy boyfriend, but he’s pretty decent. reminder that requests are open and if you want to be added to my tag list the link is in my bio :)

Boba’s annoying.

Like, really annoying.

He’s always telling you what to do and when to do it, like he’s the boss of you or something.

Well, technically he did hire you as an onboard mechanic for the Slave I.

But that’s hardly the point.

Because after you reluctantly complete whatever (typically ridiculous) request he’s ordered you to do, he doesn’t show you ever a sliver of gratitude.

He’s constantly teasing you

Probably smirking smugly beneath his bucket whenever you avoid his gaze after a particularly cheeky comment.

You swear that he's going to be the death of you if he doesn't shut the fuck up.

And he's an idiot, you're confident in this even though he always seems to be two steps ahead of you.

"If I'm an idiot, then what does that make you?"

The bitch that's about to roundhouse your ass.

"...shut up."

Boba's also big and green

Like a giant booger you decided.

Because calling him a Hutt would've been a direct insult to Jabba and all who hailed from Nal Hutta.

He's also stubborn.

Which you suppose is a good thing when it comes to his line of work.

But after the quarry's been captured and it's just you and him, you're usually about two minutes away from stranding him on the nearest inhabitable planet.

Boba — the annoying, stubborn, big, green idiot that somehow managed to get his grimy gloved fingers wrapped around your heart with a durasteel strength grip.

And despite his imperfections, you know he cares. He cares a whole lot, actually.

Which is why you're approaching the hour mark of being stranded in the middle of a giant forest.

The stars of the Corellia system moved across the night sky as you wait for your annoying, stubborn, big, green idiot of a boyfriend to find you.

It had started off as a joke.

Not a particularly good joke, but your goal wasn't to make him laugh.

Your goal was to get under his skin.

So you, being the natural-born genius that you are, decide to laugh when Boba oh-so-casually brings up that he is the best bounty hunter in the field.

And you should've dropped it when his helmet ticked to the side and he asked you what was so kriffing funny.

But you — the apparent brains of the operation — don't catch the hint and keep going.

"I mean, I think I could outrun you," you admit nonchalantly, not bothering to look up at him as you absentmindedly pick at a loose thread of your tunic. "Not to mention outsmart you."

You smirk because if Boba is anything but your annoying, stubborn, big, green, idiot boyfriend... he's egotistical.

Boba scoffs, a mixture of amusement and offense lacing his tone. "Yeah? That's what you think?"

You offer him a half-hearted nod, feigning indifference to the whole idea.

He doesn't say anything else after that, nor do either of you bring it up again.

You suspect that maybe he figured that you were just trying to get under his skin, but you didn't think that you could've bruised his ego so easily and truly gotten away with it.

But then all hell breaks loose and the joke that you had started morphed into a much more genuine issue.

An official bounty had been placed on your head, and the reward was quite charitable.

So now, you were hiding out in the middle of some random forest on Corellia as Boba hunts you down to put your survival skills to test.

Your goal is simple, make it back to the Slave I before Boba hunts you down and catches you.

And you had originally thought that it had been a good idea. If Boba, the best bounty hunter there is, can't catch you then hypothetically you shouldn't have to worry about other bounty hunters coming after you.

But you quickly came to regret your decision because now you're lost out in the middle of the forest, hugging some random tree.

You tried not to wander too far from the ship, knowing that you’d have to eventually find your way back.

But you also couldn’t stay too close, it’d be much easier for Boba to find you if you were in the first tree he sees.

You had no definitive way of knowing how much time had passed.

Even though Boba had told you when you landed, you had already forgotten how long a Corellian day was.

Logically, you knew that you couldn't have been waiting for more than an hour.

Though when your natural restlessness mixed with how uncomfortable your hiding spot was, you were convinced that you had been stuck in place for at least several hours.

You had settled yourself up in the branches of a towering tree. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, the bark digging into the soft flesh of your back, but it was endurable.

If you could hide, you could live.

It’s dark, You could barely see the forest floor from your hiding spot.

You weren't far from the ground, maybe a good twenty feet up.

Though you doubted that you’d be able to see Boba if he strolled past your tree.

He had the advantage, of course. Night vision ‘n all his fancy gadgets.

To make matters worse, it’s freezing.

You were itching to get the hell out of the forest and cuddle up on your cot.

But there was a tiny problem.

Boba was coming from the direction of the Slave I.

Which meant that with your luck, there was a very good chance that you’d run directly into him as you’re trying to get back to the ship.

You needed to get Boba off your trail first, get him lost in the jungle.

By the second hour of hiding in the ominous forest, you hear rustling leaves in the distance.

He’s close.

Thankfully, he’s not moving directly towards you.

But you can hear him drawing closer and closer, and you’re about to make a run for it and hope for the best.

And even though you know he’s not going to to hurt you, you’re still terrified.

You hear a twig snap just a few yards from your tree, you flinch.

And then he went silent.

And for a split second, your mind lets you think that he missed you.

But then, just a short distance away, you see it.

The subtle glow of a tracking fob.

He was waiting for something -- standing there, eyes searching for your figure in the darkness.

And then, he turns away, hesitating. Considering his options.

He moves a few paces east, thankfully away from your route back to the ship.

You wait until you can’t hear his footsteps, and begin to move. Quietly, making sure your movements did not betray you.

But that was your first mistake.

Not noticing that it was a trap.

You didn’t realize it until it was too late.

He’s racing after you now, heavy footsteps thudding against the forest floor.

And for someone weighed down by so much armor, he’s fast.

You’re sprinting.

Entire body burning as you make your way through the thick trees.

The world’s a blur as you run, your feet barely touching the ground as you speed through the forest.

He’s on your trail, hot and quick.

You just prayed that you had a good enough lead, maybe you could outrun him.

And just as the Slave I is in view you realize something.

You realize that you’re wrong.

Two strong arms plated with thick duraplast hook around your waist and yank you off your feet.

Air is ripped from your lungs as soon as the slope of your back slams against the armor covering the firm muscles of his chest.

And desperately, you suck sharply for the oxygen that was just knocked from your body but as soon as you manage to breath in, you are robbed once again as the two of you topple to the ground.

You hit the ground hard.

Your head snapping back as soon as your bodies hit the dirt and the only thing keeping your skull from splitting open against the forest floor is the way Boba tugs you against his chest.

“Fuck!” You grit through your teeth, not sure if it’s the pain of the fall or the disappointment of losing that’s bruised you more.

You don’t stop struggling, continuing to fight him as he wrestles you to the ground.

You’re panting, kicking, grunting, punching, swearing—

Boba... hasn’t broken a sweat.

He’s leaning over your and has got one of your arms craned behind your back, your face pushing into the dirt as you actively chose to ignore what seems to be a hard-on pressed into your lower back. Instead of dealing with his problem, you use what little strength you have left to swing your limbs at him.

THWACK!

You’re free hand collides with the dome of his helmet, and it nearly throws him off his game. You smirk— then you seethe in pain.

The skin of your knuckles cracks open upon impact of the duraplast, successfully hurting you more than it managed to inconvenience Boba.

“You kriffing—”

Your words catch in your throat as he suddenly flips you over, forcing you to face his stupid helmet.

He plops down on you, effectively pushing all the air from your lungs for the third time of the night.

He’s sitting on your stomach, gloved hands grasping your wrists as his legs pin down your own.

“Gonna need to put up more than a fight than that,” Boba growls through his modulator, easily restraining your struggling limbs.

"Fuck you.”

You might actually hate him.

No, you don’t.

“C’mon,” he croons mockingly, leaning forward just a bit so that his helmet hovers over your face. “Thought you said you could outrun me. Outsmart me? You got to have more fire in you than that, baby.”

Then you do something incredibly stupid.

Because — who are you kidding? — you’re not the brains of the operation.

You’re the stubborn one between the two of you (which is saying something), and Boba always knows which buttons to push.

You jerk upward, momentarily slipping your wrists away from his grip that loosened from surprise.

Your head slams into the front of his helmet, your forehead splitting open on collision.

But your pride outweighs your pain as you watch your boyfriend’s head snap back slightly with a strained grunt, effectively freeing your arms from his grasp.

With all the force you can muster, you shove him off of you before he can quickly recover and then you’re running.

Sprinting to the ship even faster than before, despite the heavy blood flow that is now running its course down the side of your face.

As soon as the soles of your boots make contact with the durasteel ramp, you collapse.

Toppling down to your knees in the safe zone because you’re so kriffing tired yet so relieved that you won.

The sound of Boba’s footsteps are right by your head as you carelessly sprawl out on the ramp.

“Fuck,” Boba snarls, suddenly invading your little safe zone.

You smirk because you know he’s pissed about losing to you.

“What the hell did you do to yourself?” Boba snaps, his gloved hands seizing each side of your face to make you look at his visor.

You’re bleeding.

Like a lot.

And you almost don’t have enough energy in you to brag.

“I won, old man,” you sigh dreamily, batting eyelashes as you blink away the dots spotting your vision.

Boba doesn’t even comment on the fact that you’re only a few years younger than him.

“Maker help me, you better not have a concussion,” Boba grumbles with an unamused grimace that’s concealed by his bucket, hauling you up from the ramp despite your protests and carrying you into the hull.

He’s completely silent as he cleans your trophy -- a small cut just below your brow that bled way too fucking much for its size. He sprays some bacta on it and covers it with a bandage, only speaking once all the supplies is put away.

“You need to take this,” Boba argues, his blood-stained gloves now discarded as he holds a few painkillers in his palm.

You shake your head. “It’s not serious. You’re gonna need those sooner or later.”

“You have a head laceration, it’s not gonna be long before you get a migraine,” Boba retorts, forcing your clenched fist open so that he can put the pills in your palm.

“No.”

Fuck, you’re stubborn.

His heavy sigh echos through his vocoder. “I don’t want to hear about how bad your head hurts in an hour.”

“You won’t,” you promise.

Though what’s he gonna do about it if you do? Lose another bet?

It doesn’t even take an hour for your head to start pounding in retaliation of your stupidity. Though you bite your tongue as you sit in the co-pilot’s seat, not wanting to get the “I Told You So” speech yet again.

You’ve been in hyperspace for about twenty minute, sitting with your legs criss-cross in the seat, your eyes closed and your head tilted back.

You hope you just fall asleep unintentionally so that you don’t have to get up again.

Every time you stand you think that your skull is going to burst from the incessant thrumming of your brain.

Thankfully it’s mainly dark in the cockpit, the only light coming from the buttons and stars.

“You don’t look so good,” Boba eventually mutters, a hint of something laced in his tongue.

“Gee, thanks,” you reply groggily, pinching the bridge of your nose as your brows furrow.

Just let me fucking sleep in peace.

“How’s your head?” You were too tired to figure out if it’s concern or smugness in his voice.

Probably both.

Definitely both.

“Do you have to talk so loud?” You complain lamely, opening your eyes to shoot a miserable glare in your boyfriend’s direction.

He snorts, shaking his head in spite of you before motioning you over with two fingers. His voice is low when he speaks.

“C’mere.”

You stare at him for a moment but the light is reflecting painfully off the dome of his helmet and you think that your brain is fucking bleeding.

“Don’t want to,” you reply, trying to play it off as disinterest rather than the inability to walk the three paces to sit in his lap.

When he doesn’t immediately react, you avert your gaze to stars and thank the Maker that you can finally close your eyes and have some peace —

A scoff crackles through his modulator, and you don’t open your eyes to glance in his direction as he stands from the pilot’s seat and moves.

Space is silent and his heavy footsteps ring throughout the cockpit and send vibrations through every bone in your body.

He inserts himself between your slightly parted legs and hovers there for a moment, you can feel his gaze searing into your flesh despite your lack of vision.

His scent is overwhelming — something masculine and spicy, fresh and clean.

“What’s the matter, sweet girl?” He questions softly, leaning forward ever so slightly to cage you in between the co-pilot’s seat and his armor.

His bare hand cradles your cheek before trailing down to wrap around the nape of your neck.

Your eyelashes flutter open and you meet the ominous visor.

“Nothing.”

It’s a plain lie that’s so clear and plastic that it loses all the sharpness and edge that a true lie holds.

He shakes his head, eyes still trained on you. “Really? Nothing’s bothering you?”

This time you shake your head. “Nothing,” you repeat with more firmness.

Stubborn.

He nods thoughtfully, a hum rumbling through his helmet before straightening out, pulling away from you a bit.

You sigh out a small breath of relief, finally having the space to breath air that wasn’t him.

You let your eyelids slump shut again, though you should’ve know better than to think your stubborn boyfriend would leave you alone.

“Hey!”

He’s scooping you up in his arms, pressing you against his chest and moving before you can wiggle out of his grasp.

He’s still carrying you when he descends the ladder, you’re too disoriented to figure out how but he does nonetheless.

He flops you down on the bed, tugging your dirty shirt over your head.

Oh. Oh.

You mentally shrug because even with the pounding of your skull you wouldn’t mind a quick fuck before bed—

But then Boba presses his palm against your forehead and pushes you against the pillow — and you also then realize that he had only removed your dirty shirt so that you wouldn’t complain about the *germs* getting on your pillowcase (which causes acne, you dutifully remind him - not that his buckethead cares).

Though you give him credit where it’s due.

He’s being thoughtful.

He disappears without a word, returning only a few moments later.

He outstretches his hand to reveal three painkillers.

Thoughtful bastard.

You’re still lying flat on the mattress and your eyebrows furrow. “I said that I’m not—”

He tugs his helmet off his head with a short breath, tossing it haphazardly at the foot of the bed.

Sometimes you forget how beautiful he is beneath his green bucket.

Tanned olive skin, dark wavy hair that’s borderline shaggy, calculating eyes that glisten with mirth, and rosy lips that are tilted into a boyish smirk.

“They’re not for you, kid,” he grumbles teasingly before throwing the three pills to the back of his mouth before taking a single gulp of the glass of water that’s still beside your bed from the night before. “Now move over.”

It’s a miracle that you actually listen, scooting to the other side of the bed so that he can collapse on the mattress.

His arms drag you into his chest as soon as he settles, tucking the top of your head beneath his chin.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” he utters, voice tainted from exhaustion but you can hear the adoration.

You smile softly, burying your face in his neck so that you can press a kiss to his collar.

“And you’re annoying.”

Good thing I love you.

#boba fett #bob morley #boba fett x reader #boba fett headcanons #star wars #self insert #reader insert #corrupt-fvcker #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #boba fett fanfiction #boba fett fanfic #we love our green booger

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cyberfairyblog · 3 years

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Why Jillian Sucks

Hi, welcome to Odyssey Mystery Hour! I'm your host @gritsandbrits and today I'll be talking about a hot topic in the AIO fandom! Wanna know the tea? Keep on reading!

In the weeks I started getting back into the radio series, the newer episodes have started to irk me, mostly because of one of the more annoying additions: Jillian. Marshall. 😬😬😬

Even though I ship Jason with my self insert OC this not going to be about her. There's a lot of reasons why I do NOT like the idea of Jillian x Jason becoming a canon thing on the show. I hope to describe these feelings as best I can.

Who is Jillian you might ask?

Well to put it simply, Jillian is what happens when a Soccer Mom and a TikTok boyfriend mate and spawn an unholy baby and name them Rachel Berry. Out of the aspects of Nu!Odyssey I dislike, Jillian is the one thing I truly despise. Thankfully I've met fans who share the exact sentiment! 😁😒

Double-N Annoying, Double-O Nincompoop

Making her debut in 2018, Jillian is described as lively and upbeat, if a little high strung and immature; the perfect recipe for Kid Appeal! Before she moved to Odyssey she lived in different cities and worked nineteen jobs before becoming roommates with Connie and her sister Jules.

Now this is actually a fairly interesting set up: a new character struggling to find purpose only to discover it in a quaint small town. But as it turns out her going through that many jobs seems to be more than just struggling to find purpose.

When I first saw her design my thought immediately went to the smarmy classmates I went to school with.

We're introduced with this iconic line: "Hi!! I'm Jillian Marshall, double-L Jillian, double-L Marshall! It's so nice to meet you!"

With that one sentence I knew I was about to die.

The following episode has Jillian bumbling through every job interview much to Connie's duress after which she conveniently ending up working at Triple J Antiques...the same place Jason works!

A little backstory on Jason: he is the adult son of John Whittaker, one of the show's main character, and a bit of an Ensemble Darkhorse. He was introduced as a secret agent meant to bring action and intrigue into the show. He was set up as a charismatic and reckless sort of guy clashing with the calmer Jack Allen. After the Green Ring Conspiracy Saga, Jason officially retired from James Bonding and settled down to work at the Allen's antique shop.

Given his immense popularity there's understandable concern for how he is written and who he gets paired up with. So what does that have to do with Jillian.

Well, the idea of Jillian working at the same exact place as Odyssey's resident bachelor and calling him cute raises a few eyebrows.

"B-but Grits all she did was call him cute! You're reaching too far into this!"

Am I? Look I know this wouldn't be much of a big deal too but that is a subtle tactic the writers threw in to get the cogs turning for Jillison. Jason is clearly uninterested and even implied to dislike her. Jillian bemoans this but Connie reassures her that that's not the case. But hey at least she called him cute so OF COURSE she's going to end up being his love interest!

To me removing a character's core trait to justify a romance means you do NOT know how to actually write a compelling romance. It's trite, it's forced and painful to listen to.

It's also obvious she's a replacement for Bernard, given they have similar personalities and her brief stint on TV (which she also failed at lol). But whereas Bernard was actually endearing, Jillian seems more of a cliche womanchild with zero self awareness and tact. No actual depth, just a personality that is incredibly dumbed down and even insulting. Seriously they made her the dumb blond stereotype in an era where we should've moved on from that! 🤦

Did I mention she goes to church?

Yep she's gonna be one of those Christians.

Literally Loveless, Literally!

Oddly enough the narrative frames this as a rivals to lovers thing, where Jason is both the charismatic friendly guy and the super uninterested Straight Man. The constant twisting the turning makes him go OOC. See we know he's fit better as the former because that goes in line with his canon personality. But when they make him the latter he just comes off as unnecessarily mean. This is turns frames Jillian as someone we should pity: "Oh the attractive male doesn't like me because I went into his office without permission!!"

Wouldn't it make more sense for Jillian to be the one uninterested in a romance since her focus in to find a job/better purpose and romance might distract her? That would make a fun subplot...IF SHE WASN'T OBNOXIOUS!

A pattern I noticed and several fans pointed out: Jason's previous love interests were consistent in that they were strong minded women who challenged him in different ways. Their personalities bounced off creating a fun dynamic that was entertaining to see. Even though they didn't end up with him, you can still see and hear and feel their chemistry which is my goal for Jason x OC. Tasha doesn't make Jason OOC & they had a bittersweet arc, so their interactions were organic. Monica only made him OOC because she was a villain actively manipulating him. So again that worked in terms of story and led to Monica's redemption if my memory serves.

However, Jillian's dynamic is not that fun to listen to. You can feel her annoying Jason through the airwaves. She's strong but only in the sense of feeling something hard underneath your back laying on the bed and realizing that's just your earbud. She's vibrant yes but what else? She doesn't have any unique traits to contrast Jason, and any attempt at a contrast would mean making him act out of character. Adding her bumbling clumsiness and annoying voice, Jason would get tired of her very quickly. He's the type to go for people to have intelligent conversations with, not make him lose braincells. She could very well bring out the worse in him, it'll be an unhealthy relationship.

Here's a tidbit worth mentioning: the VA for Jillian actually auditioned with Jason's VA Townsend Coleman. Now that is big ass red flag right there! No hate towards the actress, just throwing that out there. There's also a facebook page dedicated to Jillison. Typical FB stupidity ramped up to eleven, or AIO fans who see something in Jillian; or at least THINk they see something worthwhile in her.

It doesn't help the writers keep insisting that these two go well together. The audience knows they do not work well as a pair but the narrative keeps insisting they are anyways. I recall an episode that had them pretend to be married while undercover and it was bad. Like REALLY humiliating to see Jason put in that position. He also told her to shut up much to my joy because she could NOT stop being irritating for five minutes. Alas the show still tries to justify Jillian being the Perfect Woman for Jason when she's anything but. And not even endearingly imperfect.

Follow Up

These tags I wrote on one of the AIO posts describes how I feel about Villain Marshall and the Jillison coupling as a whole. It just wouldn't work because Jason needs someone that can actually CHALLENGE him, have their own personality that can bounce off his (without being forced), and most importantly DOESN'T AGGRAVATE THE FANDOM!!

I have not met a single person anywhere that say they like Jillian. It's a different story apparently on the Club App - they like her for reasons I'm too cowardly to find out. But no, she sucks as a character. She makes a annoying friend, and is not a good addition to the show, much less a good love interest.

The only good thing she brought us are the nicknames we gave her 😌

That's all for now thank you for tuning into the Odyssey Mystery Hour. Next week I'll be talking a bit more about my OC Vanessa and her role in the world of Odyssey! Goodbye and make sure to lock your doors to prevent Jillian from coming in!!

#adventures in odyssey #jason whittaker #anti jillison #aio #rant #radio drama #adventures in odyssey radio show #jillian marshall #anti jillian marshall

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dontasktheradiodemon · 3 years

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Gardens #1 (1/1/2021)

Click here if you're like "What the heck is this about?"

Valera @autokrates fights an annoying sibling. Alastor cheers for the great show and does absolutely nothing to help. Sir Pentious @hiss-and-vinegar fusses over Valera's wounds.

Valera

*Ah, the gardens. Just the place for Valera and her brother to get into a no holds barred bareknuckle brawl away from her guests. Far enough that nobody has to hear them snapping and snarling at each other, close enough that neither has far to drag the other at the end of the dramatic little affair. Fortunately, fights don't actually take thirty minutes to muddle through for most people, these fish included. Five or so minutes of hissing and biting at their imperfect duplicates, and at the end, Valera limps away with Volitan's arm clenched in her jaws and a few pounds of flesh lighter. Neither comes away feeling better, but at least there's fresh fish to feed to the guests who craved a more cannibalistic slant to their meals.*

*The fountain is good enough to rinse the worst of this mess off, and Volitan can go let the ocean burn his wounds clean for all she cares. Her friends can't see her like this. She'll need... What, half an hour to close her wounds? They shouldn't notice.*

**Happy New Years.**

Alastor

From a high window a large crowd loudly cheers, whistles, and applauds.

It's Alastor, he's the large crowd. Him and his invisible audience.

He doesn't know what's going on but it was hella entertaining to watch.

Valera

Thank the gods Alastor was far enough away to probably not hear the undignified squeak that she made when she realized she had a witness, Valera's emotions were shot enough without embarrassment on top of it. Head jerking back to seek him out among the windows... Ah. There he is. Game face, Val, give him a thumbs up. With Volitan's arm! Lovely. In fact... She's just going to send it off to him, a little flotation between friends.

"Here! I'm going to be a while, be a dear and butcher this, would you? I'd hate to see it spoil while I cleaned up."

Alastor

Look at the delight on his face! "You're a TERRIFIC host!" He bows out the window so deeply it's impressive he doesn't fall out, then runs off with his new culinary treat. He's going to make something decadent with this.

But first he's gonna bite off a chunk from the severed end.

Sir Pentious

A certain snake is slimthering.... he is wearing the long robe that Valera gifted to him for Hissmas. He's searching for his love, now that he's properly warm and bask-ed. The smell of blood has his tongue flicking out longer, and he's drawn to it... slimther slimther...

"MY DEAR?"

Valera

The sound of Pentious' voice makes Valera tense up, swearing under her breath. What's the human phrase? Out of the frying pan, into the fire? She'd rather have Alastor and his cheerfully uncaring amusement, Pentious might actually *worry*. But it was too late to pretend nothing was wrong. So.. Time to do what she does best, then.

She perches on the edge of the fountain, posing just so to keep the worst of her injuries away from her beau's many eyes. A hand in her lap to artfully cover her thigh, tail conveniently looped around her legs before dropping back into the fountain. Natural? No. But it might be enough! Maybe! If she can distract him. "Penny! Hello dearest, enjoying the weather tonight?"

Sir Pentious

"YESSS, MY DEAR, THE WEATHER ISSS NICE. THE AIR ISSS SO GOOD HERE, A NICE CHANGE FROM SSSSULFUR." Tongue flicking, but he's definitely sure that's blood he smells... or something similar! He was used to Valera's blood, as he'd bitten her *quite a few times.*

A head tilt, and his face squishes inquisitively. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE...?"

Valera

"I'm glad to hear you're enjoying my home, my love." Her tail wiggles in the fountain, eyes scrunching up into half moons. Even if she was trying to keep him from getting too nosy, it was still nice to see him happy on Okkylk.

Right. A question. "Me? I'm sitting, obviously. You just missed Alastor though, I think he ran off to the kitchen with his latest prize."

Sir Pentious

"I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ALASSSTOR. THERE'SSS TOO MANY OF HIM HERE! BUT ONLY ONE OF YOU." He slithers closer, head tilted.

".... I SSSMELL YOUR BLOOD."

Valera

She twitches, hand lifting off her injured thigh to wave dismissively. "Yes, darling. I got into a bit of a tussle, you see. "

Sir Pentious

"A BIT?" His eyes widen and... He comes closer, trying to peer around her to see the damage.

Valera

... A choice is presented to her. Trust her fiance, or.. don't, and upset him. So, despite the immediate impulse to deflect, she reluctantly lifts her tail from the water. Or, what's left of it. The end seems to have been sliced off, gods only know where the fin went.

Sir Pentious

His eyes widen considerably, then NARROW. His hood opens and he's careful to put his arms around her, trying to mind any more wounds.

"BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE *ALASSSTORSSS!!* WHO WAS IT?!"

Valera

A few scrapes and scuffs are hardly enough to keep Valera from leaning into a hug. "Alastor? No, of course not. I fought my brother! He tried to scold me again and I'd simply had enough!"

A pause as she nuzzles her face into his shoulder, purring softly. "I took his arm off, so don't feel TOO bad for me."

Sir Pentious

Ah, that *brother.* Sir Pentious growls like the cobra he is, vividly imagining tearing the man apart--not that he'd really seen him yet but he could guess.

"HE OUGHT TO THINK ABOUT HOW FORTUNATE IT ISSSS THAT YOU LET HIM LIVE!! INSSSULTING THE AUTOCRAT!! BROTHER OR NOT, HE'D BE *QUARTERED* IF HE WERE MINE."

Valera

She shrugs, lifting a leg to inspect the damage. A few cuts, nothing to write home about. Hilda would probably want to put stitches in a few of them, but Val was pretty sure they'd close on their own. They'd mostly stopped bleeding, at least. "I assume fighting with family is a normal part of having one? Maybe not physically, but Veci do tend to be more direct than humans. He doesn't like the way I do things, I don't like him acting like he knows better. We fought, I won, so I'm right."

Sir Pentious

That sounded much simpler.... But Penny couldn't help his frown. He took her hand in his, and kissed it.

"He hurt you. I would tear reality asunder for you and your smile, my love."

Valera

... Ah. Valera has to try very hard not to make a noise like a deflating balloon crossed with a dying whale, wheezing quietly and folding in at the waist as Pentious metaphorically stabs her with surprise affection straight to the heart. Thunk. Her head, thumped down to his chest. Don't look at her. Don't acknowledge her. She's feeling feelings.

Sir Pentious

He's petting down her hair, looking over her damage and that gored tail....

Penny gently pets down said tail, careful to mind the wounds.

Valera

Give her a bit to recover, and then she'll perk back up to see what he's doing there.

"Hm? Something wrong, love?"

Sir Pentious

"OF COURSE. YOU'RE BLEEDING AND WOUNDED AND OUT HERE BY YOURSSSSELF." He's looking so concerned... "I DON'T HAVE ANY BANDAGES ON HAND...."

Valera

"What?" Wait, right. Aliens worry a lot more about that kind of thing, huh? ..Or was that everyone not heavily traumatized and used to regrowing limbs? Hard to keep track, really. Whatever. He's concerned, which is the OPPOSITE of what she wanted!

Quick, say something comforting! "I'll be okay, darling! I'm used to... it...?" She squints. Wait. No. That sounds bad, actually. "It'll grow back in a few minutes! You'd never know I was hurt!" YEAH THAT'S THE ONE.

Sir Pentious

Frown! WEH!

"WHO CARESSSS WHETHER I KNOW OR NOT, YOU *ARE* HURT! AND I WANT TO HELP!"

Valera

She looks... A bit baffled. But once she's over the initial surprise, she takes one of his hands in hers and pats it.

"Oh. Um. Alright, do you want to.. Help me to the bathroom? I'm sure we've got medical supplies in there."

Sir Pentious

Listen, caring about other people is not Penny's strong suit, but he cares so so much about Valera.

"YESSS, GLADLY."

Valera

Being cared about is not something Valera is used to, she's not sure how to handle being the one getting fussed over. But if it makes Pentious happy... She'll try to fumble through it. Time to get up, then. He can't lift her, but taking the weight off the worst leg should make it easier to not open anything on her carpets.

Awkward cough.. "Thank you, love. I was just going to sit out here until everything healed over, but. This is better."

Sir Pentious

"YOU SHOWED ME THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE ANYMORE... SO, PLEASE LET ME SHOW YOU THAT, TOO." Hand kiss....

Valera

He's lucky she's already standing or else she'd do the affection wheeze all over again. But no, she has to hide her face against him like a normal person and pray the blush doesn't reach the tips of her fins. Just. Just going to take his arm and let him lead her along, then.......

Sir Pentious

Off they go..... To the bathroom........ Womance....

Valera

He can put salve on her wounds and wrap up the more uncomfortable ones, and she will be very embarrassed and very grateful... And also whine a lot because ow, the salve Hilda makes is NOT soothing in the slightest, it burns!!! Sure heals things fast though, the smaller cuts vanish in moments!

#extermination party palace #autokrates #hissandvinegar #chat log

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obiternihili · 3 years

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One of our dogs has a far more... agreeable? personality than the other.

The girl is very affectionate, playful but independent enough to play on her own, intelligent enough to learn from watching, figures out games quickly, is relatively quiet, doesn't really fight things happening around her.

The boy is affectionate but differently; she understands that you have sit still to be pet, and she tries to return gestures of affection, whereas it's hard to even pet him because he just starts to thrash about around your hand. He's pretty dim, a very slow learner, and we're not sure if he's partly blind because he has a lot of trouble tracking thrown things or associating sounds with moving things or so on. We've taught them fetch; he grabs the ball then runs inside with it to thrash before coming back without it expecting it to be thrown, while she picked up within a week or two that you need to bring the ball back for it to be thrown again. It took him a while to understand doors, she got them instantly. It took him awhile to understand stairs and the concept of a second floor, she got them instantly, he still doesn't seem to understand them. He was hard to potty train, she was instant. She knows about going in corners, he doesn't. Give her a treat and she knows you bite down to take it; give him a treat and he doesn't seem to know that he needs to take it to take it. They took classes, and she's done more in 2 months than he's learned in 3 years. He's yappy, barking at every little trigger, including sounds made right by him, which he can't triangulate at all so he goes running outside. He throws tantrums too; everytime I take the trash out or put something in the recycling bin, he starts barking at me, like he's yelling at me and trying to make a detailed, multipoint argument. Lately he's started yelling at me even when I'm not the one making the recycling bin rolling noise, which I think he thinks is thunder. His voice also sounds like sneakers on a basketball court squeaking, which isn't helping anything.

But it's like, none of that's really his fault. None of that's really anything he can help. It's obviously not right to withhold affection or not want to be around him just because of that.

There's a lesson in that that's been obvious to me forever. It just feels pretty, idk, salient at the moment, and like I could spin it into a thought worth sharing in a philosophical kind of way, for someone to make something better out of. Like, at a certain level, he's like a young child. You don't just give up on a child because you don't like them, some children end up being more difficult personalities for random reasons, etc. You can extrapolate it like some kind of life lesson for dealing with even adults in the world, and how everyone's going to be at least partially annoying, and how you can't really choose the people who come into your life even if you can control those who leave, and so on. Like don't put up with abuse, but put up with your friends being obnoxious, forgive them for being imperfect, try to lead them to being better. But understand it like with the dog - you're not gonna do that through explicit learning most of the time, and implicit learning is extremely slow, painful, difficult, and not always possible. You can't expect anyone to meet your expectations except yourself, and even that's doubtful you're keeping up a moral treadmill on yourself.

But I want to make it mean something. Like an intentional lesson actually taught by lesson giver, instead of just random bullshit that you have to accept. But I can't really. There's no real reason for it having to be that way. You could be respectful and withdraw if you like and just not deal, although you're going to have to deal with your loneliness or whatever. It's not that the dog is there to teach you a lesson explicitly. It's not really a matter of responsibility because there's no duty-giver, it's just either *you* provide a shelter for him or no one will. *You* play with him or no one will. *You* love him or no one will. And despite that it's not about you, it's not about him, no one is really there to shape the other.

Like, you're not really a better person for learning this, you're just not a worse person.

#woof

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carrottuan93 · 3 years

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Haven’t met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (1/4) | part2 - part3 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 2631

Foreword: You promise yourself you’re going to wait for the perfect love even if it takes forever but you’re already barging on it’s doorstep without even realizing that love has met you already in the first place.

It’s all about timing and seeking reassurance in all the right places.

It’s a chance you never want to miss and an opportunity that you wouldn’t trade for anything.

Learn to take risks and learn to fall in love along the way. Cause true love is patient and it’ll come when you least expect it.

Have you been good all year round? You never know what Santa has in stored for you this Christmas.

[Feel free to listen on the playlist that I made for this one shot :)))]

"Eunhee, I should probably take a break from your endless blind date setups. Nothing is working out for me, seriously." You heaved a sigh, slouching on the couch as you gave your best friend an exasperated look the moment you entered her humble bookshop. She's too excited for your love life ever since she and her long-time university crush Jackson became an official couple on your birthday when you celebrated it on Jeju last year. It was a really cold New Year’s Eve when you chose to reserve this romantic restaurant by the beach as the venue for your special day. Eunhee doesn't have any idea about Jackson's plan when you booked a flight to Jeju Island for a week despite the busy season. Since you wanted to play the fairy godmother role for the both of them, you saved Jackson from worrying and suggested that he'd do it on your birthday instead. And just like that, they spent the New Year countdown melting into each other’s puddle while greeting you a happy birthday. The things you do for your friend, if that ain’t salty for your part (it is, for being the third wheel), automatically elected you as the sole Queen of singles club after Neun’s grand exit.

Since their anniversary is just around the corner, they are planning to spend it once again on Jeju and Eunhee, for being the supportive sister from another mother that she is, will surely drag you with them at all costs since it has been your tradition to celebrate New Year’s Eve with your best friend. She is dying to set you up with someone so you won't be celebrating your birthday alone anymore.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought you and my friend Hae In will work out. What happened by the way? tell me about your date." She sat beside your spot after closing the shop and did the honor of pouring you a glass of your favorite merlot. This girl knows how to calm you down for sure. I mean she isn't your best friend if she have no idea that wine is your comfort drink. For whatever reason it is, you don't know why it helps to lessen your loneliness by drinking the night away. Maybe knocking you down into a deep slumber and finding yourself completely clueless the next day, alongside the horrible hangover can patch up the painful truth that you are still single up to this point of your life. In addition to the earthly and God-sent smell of neatly piled books crowding the interior of her paradise, Eunhee's bookshop is your go-to place at all times. You used to frequent this a lot during your childhood days where you first met her and together you shared the same passion and love for books and wine through all these years.

"He's too overrated for my type. Like I don't know why we need to talk about all of his exes and why his relationship with them didn't work out when we can sit and be comfortable with just talking about our interests, 'us' the present and not his past. He's a perfectionist per se and I don't like it when a guy shows disinterest whenever I told them about myself as some nerdy bookish girl who craves for a netflix kind of night compared to his ideal dream girl-next-door whom you can freely bring to a club the minute next." You look down on the red liquid in your glass, appreciating its refined and classic smell that is clouding your nostrils. You're way too excited to go home so you can finally sink on your newly changed bed sheets and savor the enticing smell of fabric conditioner which you cannot live without. You glanced outside the window, observing the couples walking together under the falling snow, as if Valentines day has come all of a sudden in the middle of December. Red roses are a popular gift for the ladies as you've observed and you cannot help yourself from wondering if someone will ever give you flowers on Christmas, particularly pink roses, which you really admire. You always dreamt of tending a bed of pink roses only for yourself because the sight of it makes you really happy. It's just unfortunate that they aren't in full bloom during this season that's why you can only wait for February to come so you could save the trouble of finding a lame date and just buy yourself a bouquet for Valentines. You can give yourself flowers and still feel like in a relationship with all the fictional characters on your novels. No one is stopping you from dating them in your mind, you thought.

“Ugh I can’t believe that guy. I thought he’s a good catch but actually a bummer for real. Don’t worry, I’ll choose better next time." She gave you a warm hug, patting your head as you lay your cheek on her shoulder. She released you and you gave her an 'I'm-okay-don't-worry' kind of smile. And you sat there for almost an hour talking about your other failed blind dates in the past week that all belongs in either Jackson or Eunhee's circle. You have no idea why none of them matched your personality. Either they are too wild or too boring for them to function as your potential boyfriend. No one could really captivate your specific taste in a guy. It's not that you are too picky and have a high standard when it comes to scouting a lover. You just have your own preferences when it comes to choosing someone whom you'll devote your precious time into. No relationship is perfect because everything is built out of flaws, misunderstandings, heartaches and drama but if you'll enter in a commitment at least choose someone who's worthy of that pain. You aren’t getting any younger and all you need right now is someone reliable, honest and trustworthy enough to not waste your feelings and emotion. You need a serious guy who will not take you for granted and who welcomes the idea of settling in the near future. At least someone with a nice job? Or a bearable attitude, outlook and philosophy in life? He doesn't need to be the most handsome or richest guy in the planet. After all, you always talk to God about giving you with someone who will really love all your imperfections and flawed nature. You always pray to the heavens above that maybe he'll cross the mountains and bring you the moon and the stars like they always did on the movies and in stories but you're fed with too much fantasy and began to think that maybe the guy for you was rather inexistent or an alien inhabiting a distant galaxy located in a million light years away.

"A break is all I need after all. I will be fine tomorrow at Christmas eve. Don't worry about me having a date on our dinner. I'll bring some macarons as an antidote for all things bitter for you and Jackson's couple party." It's your best friend’s first Christmas with her boyfriend that's why they are throwing a mini gathering for their family and close friends. You had this feeling that you will be the only one attending the party without a date so might as well go straight to the kitchen and grab a bottle of whatever wine you can get and spend the evening dancing on tipsy toes and the floor would be very much pleased to accommodate your drunken needs. But you will not gonna end up wasted on a party especially Eunhee will not be there beside you to take you home since you do not want to rob Jackson of his time with her. Their happiness always matters before you and that's what makes you happy, to see your best friend happy with the man that he really deserves.

"All right sweetcheeks. We'll not let you feel gloomy on Christmas eve. Good girls get a reward from Santa so you have nothing to worry about." She gave you a wink and clanked your glasses in unison as you both emptied the bottle of wine to your heart's content. You both agreed to watch a romantic holiday movie over a shared furry blanket and hear out your friend as she talked to you mostly of his boyfriend, as if you’ve read a book about the guide to 101 ways on how to fall for Jackson. Maybe the love bug bit too hard on your friend now that she really has the man of her dreams right on her fingertips, she can’t ask for anything else. Their love story is too underrated and you’re one of the living witnesses that a coin is never wasted on a wishing well. If you only joined Eunhee on her wishing spree every time you both pass by your University’s fountain of love, your coin bank would have gone empty by now. But you didn’t do it and saved all of your coins for yourself cause you really enjoy playing basketball in the arcades for fun. For all you can remember way back in college days, your friend is just one of the many timid girls who are cheering and admiring the ever-famous fencing athlete, business student and heartthrob, Jackson. You have classes together with him and that is how your job as a love guru began. You really deserve a raise because you did succeed on making them a couple. You could set up a dating agency and earn better than your current job for all you care. But amidst all the love advice that you gave to them, you’re the complete opposite of a matchmaker. Because love never finds your way despite making love work for the others. Love is sweet but a bitch most of the time.

If love finally came to Eunhee and Jackson, hopefully yours would come in a whirlpool, sweeping you off of your feet and rendering all the other love stories made in the history irrelevant. You love spontaneity and you’re up for the extraordinary. In fact, you already made a dozen of playlists on spotify and counting, awaiting to be dedicated to him. You may have weird habits, like using ketchup as a dip for your honey glazed donuts, and still act straight and sit the whole day finishing a book with your favorite espresso at coffee shops. You love taking midnight trips to the art museum and you wonder if he can appreciate the abstract the way it makes your soul come alive. You love travelling back to time and studying history and it would be a bonus if he’ll join you on the 3% mint choco enthusiasts in the whole world. And your list goes on and on and it’ll take a lifetime to introduce yourself to someone but you want to meet him soon. You can’t wait for that time to annoy the hell out of him and if he still chooses to come back after your endless nagging, that’s the time when you’re not gonna let go of him anymore. You know for yourself, you’re looking for an almost perfect individual but you’re ready to tear up your never ending list of your ideal guy if someone could really surprise you and made you want to look at the world in a different dimension. After all, an ideal can never be achieved in real life. You cannot make someone ‘the one’ but you can only search for someone and make them ‘your one’. Things may not come out the way you want them to be but things will work out if he’s your destiny. It might be hard to find the rarest form of love, which is true love, but you’re willing to go on a train trip bound to a destination you’ve never been to given that he’ll meet you at the end of the tunnel. Love isn’t hard. Love is supposed to be easy. You just need patience and it’ll come to you when you least expect it.

It's nearing 11 pm already when you feel lightheaded because of your wine intake and maybe due to the fact that your early sleeping schedule has been breached by tonight's unfortunate event. You bid goodbye to your friend despite her invitation that you should just sleep on her place and decided to call for an uber to save yourself from zoning out like a zombie because you can no longer walk straight with your clouded vision. Eunhee lives upstairs her bookstore because she manages her family's business when her father passed away that's why she isn't living with you anymore. You've grown to be independent now that you're living on your own after sharing the same apartment with your friend during your university days.

"Tomorrow night at 8. I'll text you the address. Don't be late, Y/n. Have a goodnight!” Eunhee tucked you up nicely on your seat and soon the taxi sped up passing underneath the city lights in the mood for the radio's yuletide playlist. You're a bit drunk to see clearly but you can recognize the faint Christmas lights flickering throughout the busy streets. In just half an hour, the uber came to a stop and you hopped off the cab as you made your way towards the entrance of the condo that you’re residing in. You walked past the concierge and romantic music is donning the halls screaming love is in the air but not for you cause it makes you suffocated. Inside the elevator you noticed that you'll join a couple on your way to a 5-minute trip to the 12th floor. You silently wished that nobody would enter in between floors so as not to slow down your fast lane to your unit or else it'll be another episode of 'You-are-single-fgds' slapping your face. Geez, you badly want a damn break but the couple is too absorbed in their own selves, doing whatever cringey couple thing it is behind you, so you chose to ignore their reflection on the elevator walls.

God spared you for that ride and luckily you reached the 12th floor in the fastest speed possible. You walked in a crazy zigzag pattern when you reached the front step of your door and you held on the handle to prevent yourself from falling directly on the ground. Your eyes are zooming in for the door lock as you punch in your keycode multiple times and still wonder why the door isn't granting you any access at all.

"The fudge why aren't you opening?" You tried all possible combinations already but to no luck, you are still denied. For the 10th time, the lock gave up on you and is now urging for a password reset when all of a sudden the heavens finally heard your prayer and the door automatically opened. You fell towards a pair of arms, as if on cue you are saved once again from falling directly on the floor. You grabbed on a pair of shoulders, and you felt like you've reached your bed already as your senses are welcomed with a lovely scent of fabcon, which for you is the sweetest scent in the world.

"Hmm. I can finally sleep now." You smiled the moment you felt safe and secured within the parameters of what you think of as your bed.

"Wait, you cannot sleep on my arms." It's too late for you to wake up because you're already dozing off to dreamland.

"Oh shoot. What am I gonna do with you?" You barged into someone's room and you haven't had the slightest idea of what you'll gonna do the next morning when you wake up.

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