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kiefbowl · 10 months

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Wondering if you have any advice on dealing with irl shitbags? I was at a house party a couple days ago and had an interaction with this guy that I can’t stop thinking about. We’re just chilling and talking and I hear this dude idek start talking about how “certain career paths aren’t for women” so I listen in to debunk his misogynistic bullshit. He starts saying that he thinks that women are smarter than men and that in general women will be able to think more deeply and logically than men can and find better more effective solutions to problems etc. Then he says BUT when women are placed in stressful situations that require quick thinking and action their focus is halved and they’re no longer able to think clearly due to the stress, and at that time only men will be able to handle the situation. At this point I lost it, it’s the same old women shouldn’t enter the workplace cause they’re too emotional shit. I was drunk and pissed and started yelling at him and feel that I may have embarrassed myself for not being able to debunk him properly. I think the people around us didn’t take me very seriously since he was much more articulate than me. Wondering if you and possibly other women in the comments could give examples of how to respond when moids confront you like this in public with their sexist rhetoric n try to intellectualize their garbage?

I don't think you should feel embarrassed, I think you should be embarrassed for everyone at that party that thought that guy was saying something smart. That's really embarrassing for them because it's very dumb and stupid :/

I feel like the advice I'm going to give is going to be annoying, but you just have to not get angry. This guy? He sucks and doesn't matter. If he is saying something, and you try to debunk him on what he says, you have given credence to his argument and you're on the backfoot. You really want to flip out a pseudo-intellectual? You don't counter their point, you deconstruct their argument.

When someone says "I think y because of x" and it's just horribly false and offensive, you don't say "no you're wrong about y" you say "I don't understand how you can believe x." Make them show their work, and if they can't, you've won; and if they won't, they've proven themselves pissbaby; and if they try, you've now created an opportunity to pounce even more.

The Socratic method is your best friend int these situations. Keep asking questions until you get to the truth, which is almost 100% of the time this: I just believe something because I believe it because it's what I think everyone is supposed to believe. If you can get to that point in the conversation, it's the best high, because you get to tell them to their face how pathetic you think their lack of critical thought is, however pointed or coy you want to be about it.

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giurochedadomani · 2 years

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The get together of Harringroveson is terribly entertaining to think about. Steve, with his fear of abandonment, trying to navigate a queer, polyam relationship that doesn't follow any of the 'scripts' he's used to-- he's very out of his comfort zone. Which isn't bad per se, sometimes it can be exhaleriating. Other times is definitely terrifying, though.

Billy... Where do I even start with Billy. Poor guy would have to work through SO many issues regarding jealousy (because god forbid he gets to have one good thing just for himself) and self worth (because why do the other two like him? He's more trouble than he's worth. He hasn't done anything to deserve the other two, that's for sure).

And then there's Eddie. Who's the most obviously, visibly neurodivergent between the three of them, but also somehow the most well adjusted when it comes to personal relationships (I'm guessing thanks to Wayne. We love you, Wayne).

Eddie, who let's Steve follow his 'scripts' with him (and idek, treat him to a fancy home made dinner in his parents' house) because he has never been romanced in this way, but also because Steve looks so much more confident in those situations, full famous Harrington charm on.

Eddie, who invades Billy's personal space with very little warning the moment he notices Billy looking a bit sad and is so very casually nice to him in those moments in a way that would melt Billy without making him feel overwhelmed (think less I love yous and more I'm glad you're heres).

Eddie, who is the only one who can properly articulate his insecurities from the start (and tell them that even if he messes up the times for a date, that's not a sign that he cares any less about them, please do not think that; it's just that he's messy as hell and has in general lots of trouble with organization, by example calculating how much time he's gonna need to do shit, like prepare for a date).

Anyway, this ot3 ❤️

#harringroveson #steddilly #billy hargrove

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badmoodbatflowers · 8 months

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idek how to properly articulate this but Lucy Dacus makes me wanna have a crush on someone

#like obv I am in love with HER #but there is just something about how open her face is and how much she loves her boys #and her MUSIC #and did I mention her face #that just makes me wanna feel that for someone #anyway I feel so corny saying this lmao time to go do some beta reading for my wife instead of being a sap on main #boygenius #lucy dacus

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phoenix-before-the-flame · 1 year

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PHOENIX OMG I am shaking your hand so vigorously that laxus is so cool I didn't think ur art could get any cooler but holy shit the details??the shading???? God the glowing scars bring me so much joy idek why,,,Like hand to heart I am so genuinely blown away by this (even though bald laxus is kinda cursed lol XD) I am holding this gently in my hands and incorporating this into my headcanons for laxus immediately 👍🏼

Also that's such an awesome take on his scar like!!! not only is this objectively cooler than having just one scar on his face it would also probably have been a telltale sign that there's more to him than just being a lightning mage. I also love that this would give us more insight to the actual logistics of magic in this world like showing that mages would actually struggle with learning how to wield their magic and hence scarring like that wouldn't be uncommon to see and reasonable to justify,,,just makes magic feel more real storywise yknow! Anyways that's all for now I have so many more thoughts on this that I can't articulate properly bcuz I'm still freaking out but this was hands down the best thing to wake up to thank you so much for taking the time to answer my ask and in so much detail too <33 (once again I remember why you're my favourite fairy tail artist/blog lol) have a good day!! - scar anon

Aw its no trouble at all man, really! I've been plannin on doing up the Laxus scar concept for a while now to help me down the line for my rewrite so you just gave me the opportunity to draw it earlier than planned 😅

And i take any opportunity i can get to add a lil logistics to the magic system. My goal for it isn't to make it make 100% sense ( even though i appreciate a touch of realism in fantasy every once in a while) but for it to have some weight in universe yknow? The magic's sorta surface level spread in a way to me and loosely connected to the world and its characters. Like it's such a major component but not really ingrained in a lot of things and i really like to explore that whenever im just yknow, rotating fairy tail in my head lol.

But as always man, thanks for your kindness and support! Your a real sweetheart scar anon and i appreciate it!

#fairy tail #fairy tail headcanon #i love talkin lore n world buildin n characters #they all work hand in hand in my eyes as the real meat of any series #ft is such an interestin case bcus it rlly is a pretty surface level series writing wise #it doesnt rlly rock the boat with anything apart from mashimas art being top tier #but theres constant instances of throwaway lines or one off moments of either lore history or some character moment that #well i wouldnt say hints at something deeper #but accidentally creates an opening for deeper thinking and different ways to view situations and characters #not to quote svtfoe but mashimas a skimmer when he shouldve been a dipper #and dipped fully into the ftverse #or maybe im just obsessed and rambling lol #either works

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weatherlysexual · 5 years

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i really appreciate that there is a tension between ‘our’ harry and macy despite the dreams, because she wouldn’t have been so nervous (as perfectly showcased in the hilarious scene between them in the car) around him if she wasn’t attracted to him in that way and i also appreciate that the writers are showing us how compatible they are and it’s not just a “macy is only attracted to dark!harry!!!” type of situation

#hacy #idek how to articulate this properly but i am loving their dynamic this season #it's just everything

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fcntasmas-archive · 3 years

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oh god this is an impossibly hard question you cannot legally ask me this!! but I'm going to try: it's been a while since I've read tmtts so I cannot tell you at what point in the story exactly this scene took place, but you wrote an angsty scene of Isak on his back, staring at the Orion poster and at the fish tank and it was just his thoughts and his spiral and I just... I was going through something so similar at the time and I felt so seen. so many times when Isak would content with himself and you so freaking beautifully wrote out his internal monologue just got to me. and then, the scene in the most recent chapter where Isak breaks down and Even's just... there for him? I remember reading that on a 3-hour trip back to college that August and just needing to control myself so that my family wouldn't have a bunch of questions. you are an incredible storyteller and i hope you really truly know this!! 💕💕

a;sjdfaklfj I'M SORRY but ohhhh my gosh anon this is??? this had no business being this fucking sweet ilysm thank you for this?? i'm so happy something like that resonated with you because so often i felt like maybe isak's internal monologue didn't have a place in such a Big Fic that a lot of people were reading exclusively for this enemies to friends to lovers/fwb situation, but then like. people like you come along and express things like this and it makes my heart soar and i have no idea what to do with the Emotions writing for isak in tmtts was so cathartic, idek how to explain it. summer (my best friend) always told me that reading it gave her an insight to what i was feeling when i couldn't articulate it properly for her. all this to say that if you felt seen that's because you were and i SEE you and i love you and we are Connected now anyway now i'm gonna go cry about this so thank you again i love you to the moon and back!!! ❤️❤️❤️

if i asked you what the most memorable scene from any fanfic of mine is, what’s the first scene that comes to mind?

#answered #anonymous #tmtts #ilysm ;-;

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taikanyohou · 4 years

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Not gonna lie, you and Rahul are like the parents of the 2gether fandom! Thank y'all for everything you do.

hiii anon!! CHDBDIFHDU no its honestly ... rahul's super caring and has so much wisdom and he shares his experiences so beautifully, and its honestly so inspiring and educational for me, personally, to first hand know and learn from a fellow desi, what their life experiences have been like, being a desi guy who is part of the lgbt+ community. i've learnt and picked up on so many different things, and seen how different his experiences are, despite some similarities we share.

i'm just ... an incoherent mess honestly its really not ... idek how to articulate myself properly at the best of times. i'm not even worthy of being named next to rahul bc he's the closest we've got to people, among which there are many more asian lgbt+ men in this fandom, whom 2gether is a true representation of: asian lgbt+ men. they're the ones who truly are the pillars, i can't even begin to imagine how ... at peace and safe they feel, when they watch 2gether, and can see a bit of themselves truly represented on screen.

#faiza answers #and may a day like this for us asian wlw one day come too!

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hungryhungryhippo3 · 6 years

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ok im kinda tired from studying all day and i just watched the latest episode, and ive got some thoughts??? but im not in the best state of mind to articulate everything so imma just do some dot points:

- letting everyone have a go as a superhero: i dont agree with; it sort of trivialises that kind of power and is contradictory to master fu’s own experiences with his carelessness,,, like did you even learn anything from hawkmoth lmao... idk why but this thing upset/made me most uncomfortable, it just seems like a lot of carelessness, but tbh this is also a kids show with a kids audience so i guess you do have to sacrifice some elements of common sense/rational thought and action/general consistency with fu’s decisions for some Cool Heroes and Fun New Powers

- leading on from this, what is our position on how we treat kwamis?? : these are sentient beings, these are actual gods ( i think?? i havent read the comics), who are chained to a miraculous. what is our (by that inclusive, im referring to the characters in the show + the actual audience + producers) actual position on them?? so we respect them as mentors and guides + actual gods, but do we also treat them with the same triviality as the miraculous object itself??? something to give away and lock up at will, something to utilise only in times of need?? and those are only in part rhetorical qqs, im genuinely curious and i wont judge if thats the way things are

- chat noir and rena rouge: y’all can argue that their interactions were strictly platonic but imma fight for this; he was blatantly flirting with her. he kissed her hand, he was *casually* leaning against his baton, leaning in towards her, ok admittedly, i know french culture is a lot more direct and touchy than western culture and i havent down my research lmao but it felt a lot like he was interested??? i mean these are the same stuff he does to ladybug??? and alya (maybe she saw it as just platonic) but she also indulged him even tho shes already in a relationship ??? lol idek maybe its just me, but the first introduction made me feel uncomfortable coz of that (the second interaction was much more platonic tho)

- keeping chat noir out of the loop: ive seen a lot about this already on the tags, and 100% agree. at this point i dont know what to make of the relationship between lb and cn. @the ml producers, whether you wanna sell them as partners or as a duo where ladybug is the Main, ill support, but pls: consistency. i feel like theyve always been presented as a partnership, like two parts of one whole, but this ep kinda went against that? marinette has visited fu many times (implied), he allowed her to choose a hero, he himself explained all that detail about the miraculous’ to her, she left chat noir to fend for himself (without explaining the plan) while she went to find fu. adrien, who took gabriel’s book to learn more himself, didnt even get the chance to learn properly. and i bet that had he been given the opportunity to read, lb wouldve been the first person he went to. partnership = developing together, making decisions together, being transparent and clear w/ each other. i didnt see that today. what i saw was something more akin to batman and robin, hero and sidekick

- development/consistency w/ ladybug and chat noir’s (general) relationship: again, ik this is a kids show, and each episode is meant to be independent of each other, and there isnt a fixed sense of continuity. and this dot point sort of touches on the last 2 as well, but a change in the dynamic had so much potential to progress on ladybug and chat noir’s relationship (there could’ve been conflict, there could’ve been insecurities, there could’ve been distance, esp. following the Glaciator ep). the producers could’ve used this opportunity to see a shift in their general relationship + some solid characterisation (in relation to their partnership/dynamic) and actually lay some solid groundwork beyond the whole lovesquare thing.

- alya in general: ok so a positive: some good characterisation for alya. it was gr8 to see some more insight about her family dynamic, her own interactions w/ her siblings, the type of person she is beyond school and the ladyblog. shes undoubtedly worthy to receive that miraculous; headstrong, focused, learns quickly (thats a bonus). but i gotta agree with some of the posts circulating, marinette, as professional as she can be when she has to, is still ultimately biased. master fu tells her himself to choose someone she trusts (according to the translation i got), and doesnt that entail some subjectivity??? thats not to say that she chose her just bcoz theyre friends because marinette would be blind not to see all these gr8 qualities in her bff. but like ppl are saying, i think alya shouldve been chosen by virtue by the guardian, who knows these miraculous’ more than anyone, knows the sort of characters each miraculous is suited to, instead of marinette randomly selecting one and giving it to her best friend.

- gabriel: is a hypocrite and does not deserve to be a parent, but what else is new lmao

#miraculous ladybug #season 2 spoilers #ml spoilers #ml s2 spoilers #new episode #rena rouge #feel free to reply pls #i guess this is some episode analysis??#but more accurately #tired hungryx2hippo ranting about ml

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dantiloquent · 7 years

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honestly idk if i’ll ever be able to tell someone how much the “minute by minute” phone call with sonja meant/means to me like. when people raise it in convo i’m like “oh yeah i cried a lot lmao” but i can’t say how ?? much it affected me ?? how much i relate to it ?? how much it resounded with me ?? like. hearing that part. was like hearing this feeling i always feel just. said aloud. and realising this it what i feel even tho i didn’t know it properly. i’m more in even’s position than sonja’s but i hear it and i think shit, that’s me. but not just that. there’s the other side, too. the this is what i need to do side. ‘cause to me that part isn’t just articulation of hopelessness, it’s a comfort, a technique of sorts to get you through. and when i heard it i think a part of me realised i needed that, you know? and the feeling and intent behind those words, too. everything is so potent. it’s so important because to me, someone who suffers from mental illness, it means two things: hopelessness and yet hope. i can’t explain it but that’s it. recognition that it goes on, but also that there is a way through. idek. point is i don’t think i could ever disclose to someone the exact experience i’ve had or even can truly believe i deserve that. hm.

#im sure the people i talk to about it could also have similar experiences i mean idk. idk. idk. point is i cry every time because god it's #so much to me idek #skam #personal

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screechingpulsar · 4 years

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So I’m still all teary-eyed and may not a) be fully thinking clearly and b) be able to articulate myself properly but

Is it me or does it feel like She-Ra managed to tell the stories Voltron and SU were doing in a much more controlled and nuanced way?

(disorganized rambling under the cut for those interested)

Like, people’s complaints about Steven Universe was that it was going too far, what with the Literal Space Dictators being sympathized as uwu babies with feelings~ and It’s No One’s Fault that there’s a whole ass planet-destroying empire!!! and trying to portray everyone as worth forgiving without acknowledging the harm they did

And Voltron was just a shit-show from about season 3 onward, idek WHERE to start there

But imo She-Ra did the whole creepy mind-control dictator thing way better (Horde Prime vs. White Diamond), and handled its villains or morally grey characters better (Shadow Weaver and Hordak vs. say, the other Diamonds, including Pink)

Ughhh there’s so much I want to talk about!!

Catra and Adora and Shadow Weaver

the Horde as a metaphor for fascism (Horde Prime is an AMAZINGLY constructed villain, holy fuck)

all the characters’ ideologies about how to handle conflict (I’m thinking ESPECIALLY of... I think it’s S5E10, where Perfuma tries to reach out to Scorpia, that scene ALONE I could talk about for a whole ass essay)

Related to this, the importance of philosophical diversity and why it’s good to listen to people you disagree with sometimes

How touch is used in the show (a lot of other people have talked about cheek touches as a symbol of manipulation and control in She-Ra)

Imagery!!! Tech and nature and magic!!! Light and dark!!! (I don’t think it was perfect how they handled it, not that it should be expected, but I think there was a lot of interesting stuff going on there!)

Redemption themes

Just like, Catra and Adora’s Entire Arcs honestly

PARALLELS! There’s so many in She-Ra, I can’t even list them all!

But Alas, i’m one person with very, very fucked eyeballs and I think I’d lose my mind before being able to express it all

If someone’s bothered to read this far, I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on season 5 and anything I’ve said in this post!!

#spop #spop season 5 #vld #steven universe #spop spoilers #jic #i'm having Feelings about cartoons again #i also find it really interesting that there are so many pieces of media now that are dealing with themes like this #and how they all handle it

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smolbeanfeels · 5 years

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updates on the smol bean -- and sharing some new favs!

since my finals ended i haven’t had the motivation or energy to do anything -- i attribute it to my exhaustion from the burnout semester but in truth, i feel that i no longer have passion for anything around me anymore. it’s crazy, the shell i’ve become -- i wake up, read up on the italy trip -- sleep. wake up, read up on internship opportunities -- sleep. wake up, read wuthering heights (A BOOK I’VE READ TEN THOUSAND TIMES) -- sleep. it’s an awful cycle spiralling downwards into neglect.

anw -- i decided i should turn things around! i have so many things to do and so many things to look forward to! for one, i’m reaaaaally looking forward to going to italy. i feel like when it comes to the end of the year, i’m always really excited to just leave this place, to go anywhere.

it’s not the first time i’m writing about how stifled i feel at home, in this country, and it’s definitely not news that i’m not the happiest about the degrees i’m studying for and working towards. i can find myself being more on board with social sciences especially when my psychology major modules start, but business management leaves me dread. it’s definitely not my first choice, but i have sorted out my feelings and decided that if i’m going to have to do this for another two and a half more years, i might as well make the best of it. find the best part of it and pursue it, and that’s why i’m really excited to major in marketing from my third year onwards. there’s so much creativity and exciting ideas to look forward to in brand management! i’m actually considering dropping one of the classes i bidded for next semester to try out my second marketing class, but at the same time, i also am aware that the important, fundamental modules should always come first. first priorities, second interests.

i guess the thing that disturbs me the most is the idea that i’m currently pursuing someone else’s dream. i’ve already come to terms that i will have to achieve financial independence before i can start doing what i really want to do, since my parents are really wildly unsupportive of what i want to do (idek where to start with that, honestly), but potentially the worst feeling is sitting around taking up space, space that could be filled by someone who seriously, truly, wants to be here. if i really get deep into it, it’s a sucky feeling.

recently i realized that i’ve been so caught up with club activities that i can no longer recognise myself. 2-1 has probably been the worst out of the three semesters i’ve had, and i heard from waneu that it’s actually the worst. i do hope it gets better. i think the scariest part of the semester was 1) not doing well during my midterms and 2) feeling horribly out of place during club activities. while i was engaging in these activities, the idea that i was fulfilling someone else’s core objectives and not mine relentlessly haunted me. so on the bright side, i’m grateful for the opportunity to be given a breather and really think, for myself, what it is that i want and what i want to get out of university.

for the next semester, i’m hoping to just focus on acads, work, dance, and most of all, God. i think that will really help in ensuring that i take baby steps in this, because we have proven, time and again, that rachel panics when she is bombarded.

dance has been really fun -- apart from the backaches and the muscle cramps? but it also made me realize how much more training i need to be back in the game, because of how much time i took off dancing in the semester during finals. I NEED TO GET MY HEELS SOON!!!!! last saturday, i was the only one dancing without my heels, and the spanish instructor’s eyes were constantly on me. and it wasn’t because of my dancing, that’s for sure.

inyc is the hardest thing to edit in the world!!! i’m slowly losing faith in this novel even though i’m thrilled and excited for my friend; i just don’t really know how good sales are gonna be after the edits, and i just don’t feel like i’m good enough to do all the editing myself. might have to suggest to anj to get a secondary editor because i don’t feel like professional material.

in other areas of writing, tlp is slowly sucking the life out of me. i feel like because i’ve left it alone for quite a while, i’ve sort of lost my passion and rigour towards fictional literature. it’s rather frustrating, especially because i started out so excited to share this story and finish this piece of writing, and now i’m just backsliding and my editor wouldn’t stop asking for new chapters. poems are the same case. i seem to have so many ideas but find it so difficult to articulate and express them properly. and the thing is, i’ve been “taking a break” off of writing for a couple of months. maybe agalia’s right -- maybe i really only write well in heartbreak.

anw -- this is me rn, lots to think about and do!!! i wanted to talk about my favs photographed up there. i’ve been discussing with my Dad about getting a dslr for the family but unfortch, the discussion’s not going too well. i do hope we can get at least a digital camera soon though, because it’ll really help to better photograph our travels.

i’m also really thinking about getting into things that are more related to what i intend to do in grad school, but it’s difficult finding such avenues in school. maybe i might have to look outside of school?

so -- first fav: the white tumbler from the starbucks christmas collection 2018. i really like it a lot!!! the best thing is that the cap is tight so water/whatever beverage doesn’t seep easily, and there’s no need to unscrew the cap to drink, just twist the cap and there’s an opening to drink from. i’m really glad sis got it for me because i really need a beverage tumbler since i refuse to use my water bottle for anything other than water, especially for coffee because coffee eventually stains.

second fav: my knitted sweater and michael kors bag -- not really anything new, just my default wearables since the weather’s getting colder and more rain-y recently.

third fav: the 3ce mood palette!!! i really love 3ce recently because it’s so pigmented and soft - and i’ve been using the elf contour brush to do my eye makeup recently. i’ve been keeping my eye makeup (when i do put it on) very simple recently, especially when i’m rushing, and this palette is such a go-to palette i sound like one of those youtubers but it’s true!!! the elf eyelid primer is also one-of-a-kind and such a dupe for more high-end primers, since i’m perpetually broke... and the small l’oreal brush and little mirror are just things from my mama i wanted to be in the pic!

last but not least fav: i’ve also started on the subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson -- and so far it’s been really good. i won’t comment on the writing since i didn’t expect much, after all this book is written by a motivational blogger and not some Shakespearean poet, but i am really enjoying how honest and forthcoming his ideas and values are. i’m also being reminded more about prioritization and how a lot of the limits and expectations we consider are really self-imposed. excited to continue reading!!! hopefully i can gain more insights on better habits and positivity.

that’s kind of it -- sorry my updates are always so long, but i do hope you’ve enjoyed reading this! hehe.

#smolbeanfeels #personal #blog

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