#idk IDK WHY I THOUGHT OF THIS DONT JUDGE

[tessahhhh]

I keep thinking of these stupid sillies

As

A ship (crackship possibly)

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE 😭⁉️

#murder drones #murder drone #murder drones shitpost #murder drones ship #idk IDK WHY I THOUGHT OF THIS DONT JUDGE #either romantic or just buddies idc #alice murder drones #murder drones alice #teacher murder drones #murder drones teacher

[caffeinatedopossum]

Events of last night:

Me: *crying*

My girlfriend: what's wrong?? :(

Me: *struggling to form words* intrusive thoughts are bad... I don't want to talk about them because then I'm scared that they're true and you might think I'm awful

My girlfriend: ah I actually get that. I have those a lot. It doesn't mean anything though, intrusive thoughts are just like dreams. Like the things you do in them aren't really things you want to do, it's just stuff your brain comes up with.

#we then very heavily related over having the same intrusive thoughts and now I'm suspicious #thinking about when i told her i might have ocd and she said i didnt #and starting to feel like thats because... what if we both have ocd #it seems like she was basing her entire knowledge of conditions on people shes known with those conditions. which makes sense #but the person/ people with ocd had severe cleaning compulsions and the like #where as me and her obsess much more over morality #like its very clear we think about it so much. and idk what to do with that information #we both feel like the intrusive thoughts and obsessive ruminating are the only things that keep is from being bad people #or that prevent us from being bad people i guess. idk why that wording is just slightly more accurate #like people who dont think about these things (apparently all 'normal' people since this could be *an actual disorder*) #they're not constantly analyzing. trying to be aware. asking themselves questions about their true nature. judging those answers #theyre not really doing that with other people either. of course i could be wrong since im very clearly not a normal person. #but this is what i mean! im speculating about other people and acknowledging the ways i could be wrong and just trying to figure it all out #but it seems like no one does that and it doesnt *make them* bad people. it just doesn't prevent them from that happening either #like theyre just as likely to hurt people as the 'bad' person thats thinking the same way they are #and i cant ever be comfortable with me living that reality even when *this reality* is a waking nightmare #sure im tearing my skin off (good ole skin picking disorder) when im thinking about these things. sure im crying. sure i can't sleep. #sure it makes me feel like im constantly a horrible person and need to attone for everything ive done and havent done #sure. but then i turn around and say its helping me. because why else would my brain torture me? isnt it always about protecting me? #i don't know. all i know is who i dont want to be and what i dont want. so that exactly what my brain convinces me is real #i guess what it kinda comes to do is #would you rather live a reality where everything around you is superficial. your thoughts behaviors and thoughts. your reactions #all of them are things youre never aware of. you could be hurting people or you could be helping themm #you could even be hurting yourself. but you would never know. its a comfortable reality that youre never really aware of #OR would you rather live a reality aware of all those things. seeking answers and sometimes finding them. #trying your hardest to help others and better yourself and fix the broken things in this world #your reality is one where you recognize every threat that no one else does and it kills you inside because they wont always listen #theyre comfortable and you're stuck in a reality where you try and try and try but even when you succeed #your brain forms its own reality. a metaphorical jail. where you never get to experience the reality you fought so hard for #instead you exist in this sort of purgatory where you live out your own worst fears and the worst ways you could have failed

[sleepygaymerdisease]

im trying to respond to people on my post who have questions or are confused but theres just so many 😭 i dont know how to explain the intricacies of classism or how hard it is to get a lawyer to start and WIN a discrimination case. especially since i dont know australian laws. but like... this behavior, denying someone a job for their outfit, is really common across the world. classism is pervasive and it's dangerous and it costs people their lives. we would have to change the capitalist system, change policies across the globe, and work on our internalized classist beliefs for the rest of our lives.

#i think a lot of people are sharing the post in shock and horror. not knowing that this happens to people every day. which is really sad. #like. this is an issue that is literally ignored and swept under the rug. to the point where people dont think about it. even though like. #when you hear about Interview/Business Culture you know you have to dress well. everyone knows that's like step 1. but people havent #actually stopped and asked what the purpose of that is or what that means. people haven't considered what happens if you break that rule. or #why that rule is there at all... emily gwen said that they can't afford new clothing. and couldnt get the words out in the moment. but like. #imagine this from the interviewer's perspective. she saw someone who was 'unprofessional' because of their clothing. and that's fucked up! #WE know the situation because of their post. but they shouldnt need to justify their attire like that to get a damn job. we dont need to #know someones circumstances to treat them like a person. and i want everyone to really think about this. how many times in your life have #you seen someone with worn out clothes. dirty clothes. clothes with holes in them. clothes that are 'too casual' for their setting. and how #have you treated those people? how have you thought about them? and think about this in media. how many people with bad clothes are seen as #irresponsible? or treated like shit? this happens every day. and it's not australia specific or america specific either. it's everywhere. #so please show others compassion. this experience is traumatic and alienating. it's hard to reach out. its embarassing to talk about. #and it's even harder to get legal defense for this stuff. you need money and you need solid proof. oftentimes people have neither. #other things to consider clothing-wise: clothes that dont fit. too big or too small. modified outfits. clothes that dont match the weather #(like wearing a sweater in the summer or thin shirts/shorts in the winter). like. these are things people judge all the time idk. #what happened to emily was horrific. but it's not new and youre not immune to thinking the same way. #anis gaymer moments

[kohanaaaaa]

Happy Valentines Day to whoever reads this..ANYWAYS my 2 fav covers on prsk is finally avaliable in en and cn servers hehe~♡

#kohana in severe pain #I hope you're having a better day than mine #just got out of classes at 8pm #literally shaking from hunger and exhaustion #everything would've been perfect if not for night classes #also im a single mf #thoughts and prayers for my love life #gacha game holiday bonuses got my back though #DONT JUDGE my combos #ik im horrible at rhythm games but i still keep playing idk why

[ace-frog]

Listen I am I one of those moods again holy fucking shit I need to rant to badly

I fucking cannot with Ei and Yae. Like I genuinely love their characters but when I think of them along with Scara I get so unbelievably pissed. Scara was like a fuking child that Yae wanted to kill and that Ei neglected. His choices are his own and he should face the consequences but you cannot deny that Ei is a horrible fucking parent and its ridiculous that Nahida does a better job than her despite Scara trying to fucking kill her.

Scara fucked up but he was also taken advantage of and manipulated. His resentment began when he thought everyone he cared about betrayed him and I will never forgive Dottore for that among other shit for that. Ei created the dude and then just dipped and that is unexcusable. Yae gets a slight pass considering she wasn't the one who created him. Ei did. Ei had a responsibility and her trauma does not excuse that. She made him into a vessel to take the gnosis and then said nah you feel too many emotions. You cannot bring someone sentient into the world and then choose to abandon them even if that's what you thought the nicer option would be. He was left alone for 500 fucking years. That is absolutely insane. Maybe it's the older sib in me or maybe it's not but as much as I love Ei I cannot excuse her actions at all. God this is so complicated

#froggy rambles #I AM IN A MOOD OKAY DONT JUDGE ME #idk how ei thought leaving him alone would be the nicer option #thats so stupid girl #also yae why tf was your first idea to kill him #nah bruh i dont vibe with that at all #i still like ei okay #and well yae is alright but meh idgaf about her #this is mainly fueled by the sheer contrast of how nahida and ei treat scara in different circumstances #the one who has the most reason to not like him is the one who helped him more #compared to his literal mother who created another puppet that led to her ppl being opressed for a year #ik its only one year but like you literally fucked over so many of your ppl #you took away the thing that made them literally to preserve eternity #how the fuck is robbing ppl of their ambitions preserving eternity #oh but that was the puppet #no stfu it was under her orders #she created that puppet after she failed with scara who only was a fail for showing emotions!!!!! #anyways i have nothing else to say #this probs doesnt make sense but i didnt write to make sense #i just have many emotions #genshin impact

[girl-bateman]

Crazy how many kids grow up afraid that someone else will find out abt their parents substance abuse issues when it is something that literally affects 1 in 8 families.

Crazy how many kids grow up feeling lonely and misunderstood while there are likely several other kids in their class going through the same thing.

Crazy how many kids grow up isolating themselves and lying to others for the protection and comfort of parents whose job it should be to protect them.

#obviously this is somewhat generalising bc everyone handles substance abuse differently #but for every single person ive spoken to whos been through the same thing i have growing up #the statements above have been painfully accurate #anyway it makes me so profoundly sad thinking abt how much energy i wasted constructing a world of lies to protect my dad #which like ? protecting him from what? the judgement of my friends? i think he can live with that #i was so embarrassed abt it when i was a kid- i thought the whole world would fall apart if ppl found out #but like why? that shit has nothing to do with me. he embarasses himself. im not to blame for his actions #i remember doing a school project in 8th grade and my friend made a joke like 'dont worry my parents arent alcoholics' #and this boy was like 'no. dont worry. my dad is an alcoholic so i dont judge you' #and im still not sure if he was joking too ? but it didnt feel like a joke #but i still wish i could have reached out and said something. or just acknowledge each other in some sort of shared pain #idk. i still think abt him #hope hes doing good. he was a sweet kid :) my mom rly liked his mom lol

[orcelito]

i started saying girlie/girl [ie. girl help] a few months ago and its getting to the point where its genuinely a problem. its settled down in my brain right next to "dude" as Gender Neutral Terms To Refer To Someone except girl ISNT widely accepted as gender neutral like dude. girl help im gonna slip up one day and misgender someone

Hfkshdjdb FAAAIR yea I don't use girl myself in that way but it is Definitely a valid thing. We made dude gender neutral girl can be gender neutral too. If we believe.

But yea I call myself a goroboy and a wolfwood girlie I'm all the genders and so much love for my favorite characters

#anonymous #ask #as for why it's wolfwood girlie Specifically . i dont know! #it's what i used the first time and it has stuck in my mind. #probably bc of the goroboy thing lmaoo. cant help it. #also i like the term 'girlie' in use for myself but ONLY by myself. if someone else called me girlie i would cut them. #but it's a uh. self term of endearment i guess? which sounds weird #but idk for a long time if i need a judge in the right direction or a bit of cheering up #i call myself girlie. like 'you can do this girlie' etc etc. obviously a relic from back when i thought i was a girl #but the endearment stays. and thus. wolfwood girlie lol #*nudge in the right direction lol. whoops

[sugaroto]

Tiktok realized I was feeling off with my friend before I did

#pov: you slowly start hating your bsf *song on the back sick of your voice sick of your face sick of~* #and i was like whaattt noooo i dont hate *him* and thought of that one while at the time we supposedly were a trio #i saw two tiktoks like that #and then he send me one like 'haha why is tiktok showing me that?' or something #haha lmao dude same!! i also saw 2 of those i dont understanddd #and its been months #and just the other day i was talking with my mom and i told her how I felt and how hes been annoying me for no reason or done/said stuff #that bothered me #sbsjjsjs #and also. the last months im speaking daily with someone else and maybe not even exchange a word with my 'bsf' even though we sit together #in the bus and like- when sometimes i compare the 2 of them or how their reactions to stuff i say are- #idk i feel like hes constantly judging me or doesn't care about what I have to say so sometimes i dont even bother #like at this point im looking forward to the days hes not taking the bus back home so i can listen to music instead of sitting in silence #its an unspoken rule to always sit on the same place and i dont want to break it. even though the other day he was like 'sit on the front #cause im studying' #ahhshs ugh the other day I was like 30 minutes anxious he would judge me about something I did wrong but he never did #like am i just making shit up?? idk sometimes he just annoys me and i feel like an asshole cause we've been friends for so many years but #i do feel a better treatment by the new people im hanging out with most of the time like; #i never pay attention when you talk/oh yeah i remember that random thing you mentioned last year #and like i get he doesn't care about what we were talking about but literally saying 'i never pay attention to you 2' like ok. why even #talk to each other then? ... Also im sick of everyone who says shit like 'once we graduate we'll never see each other again' like yeah #if you have an attitude like that. like half of us are neighbors. i literally heard someone say 'can we be friends until july to go to the #concert?' and the other person was like why are you talking like that why wouldn't we be? and my bsf is one of those people who cant wait #to graduate and never return here #...oof ok im gonna go take a bath Goodbye #sugarenia talks #sugarenia diary #sugarenia has friends #sugarenia doesn't have friends

[maythray]

i Did Not like it i Did Not like it i Did Not like it i Did Not like it (talking about nosferatu)

#PERSONALLY i thought it wasnt as great as people make it out to be. #this isnt even me comparing it to like. modern film or judging it on a scale like that no no no #i was judging within its time period and i still think it kinda sucked. like yeah sure it has some element helped to push them along #but also like. i dont know why its constantly noted as an extremely significany example?? #idk i guess its probably for the genre i think.. #ive never fully grasped genre so i wouldnt be suprised if that was it... ik it had an emergent genre

[neo-shitty]

🌪.

#today i thought of this guy i used to like the whole drive around the city bc i listened to a song that reminded me of him #and it just dawned on me that i’ve only liked a measly 3 people in my life and they all lasted five years or more (him included) #sure i have a ton of small crushes in between but its only been them who were stuck in my head for YEARS . #idk why i’ve only come to accept that recently that he’s up there with the rest of the boys bc i swore the last one was top of the podium #hs crush you are DETHRONED 😩 #but the thing is the whole affair with this man happened almost 4 years ago now but he’s just as stuck in my head as he was before #it’s almost pathetic but also not quite bc i know im missing a memory and not him himself #missed the way i felt then—the way he treated me whenever we talked but not him as a person #smth random just had to vent #OHHH he’s the only person i’ve been writing abt so if i drop a 13k trauma dump pls dont judge me #toff.txt

[motochiri]

emoemoemoemoemo

#i love giving love & compliments & doing things for ppl but #it rly feels like it never comes back to me like #y am i never good enough/thought abt enougjsdjfsdjf #im so mad #i have a lot of friends that r so loving and supportive dont get me wrong but like #it just feels like im not a priority and i h8 it #like y am i so full of love #i feel like i never receive it back in a meaningful enough way #even my bestbest friend says im her bestbest friend bc i make her feel so comfortable & like shes not being judged but #shes constantly making plans w her other friends that she bitches to me abt and not me like?? #idk why am i so unlikeable LMAO i just want to know!!!!!! #cardibwhatisthereason.gif #im just being ungrateful idFK im lonely #*

[cherry-colored-petals]

Drew 🌸🍒 in their Sumeru attire— although, I'm planning to change it up a bit when I draw them digitally (and also cause this was related to Lumine's alternate outfits and I went "lol but why not make it gay")

#🌸🍒 - navi speaks #🍒 - art #;; idk okay dont judge me for why i drew this on a whim HAISBSKSN #;; mmm many thoughts abt alternate outfits...

[katstwistedmind]

hmm. i think i may actually have fucked my relationship with my cousin irreparably. and once again im not exactly clear on the reason. like i get it you are mad possibly hurt? but. i don't get why. because if it was that one thing i said this is so fucking stupid. and this has happened before so really A STUPID COMMENT CANNOT BE ENOUGH TO FUCK UP YEARS????

guess im just a dick ¯\_(‘-‘)_/¯ and nobody likes me after a while.

#kat has thoughts #but like #she said she'd never leave #or that she'll never judge and be understanding #guess its all talk till my mental illness is actually offending her? #so much for family i suppose #and now she is trying to hurt me by saying smthn she thinks will fuck me up. #but alas i dont feel guilt for shit I did when i was a teenager and didnt know better like fuck that #im not holding other adults accountable for stuff they did when they were kids why should it be different for myself #idk man #im tired

[imblocking-you]

I think we are our harshest critics but at the same time we only ever worry about the insignificant things, we never get the chance to /actually/ be critical.

Something can be too good or too bad whenever we experience it as an entirety and we don't look at our work through an outsider's point of view.

When people don't see the entire personalities behind a work, there's no gap, connect, and personal link to the creators–a context, or when people don't witness what happens beyond that camera, I think is the most objective view we can subject our work through.

#sometimes i wish i can pluck out my eyes stick it to a wall and observe myself without my own perceptions and thoughts obscuring #like i genuinely want to know what i can improve based on what others /genuinely/ think of me unabashed #i wanna know what's wrong #what is that i'm missing #idk #this is nonsense #// maple #idk why my brain decides to worry about things #sometimes i fail to realise we are all human #and i have value and i dont deserve being judged by others as if i don't matter #this is the result of being chronically online and growing up lonely tbh

[hauntedeyes]

got an exam this monday and im not strressed or worried at all like im almost sure that even if i dont study this weekend ill pass

#sorry rant #ive just been keeping up with japanese every day all year so i just have to revise a few things and memorise a couple of dates #some people were like ‘its is not going to go well at all’ #and im like; why? you knew this was coming you know how important it is to study with languages #idk your live maybe youre hella busy but #idk #ive felt embaressed all te ar being like.. yea i know this alrzady and my kind of friends being like omg i cant do this #okay!! study!!!! #thats all there is to it idk idk #im not the one to talk tho two years ago i was exactly like that lmao #but also i wasnt doing something i really loved #its just kind of annoying to have them be like ‘i cant do it i dont understand’ when theyre barely putting in effort #i shouldnt judge. im gonna pull them through i wish id studied with them this week #if they do badly on this one im gonna help them for the next one #god #so weird that im actually in college like #i never thoight id do this again #it doesnt even feel like a chore #thats a lie i hate some of my classes but it doesnt require as much effort as i thought it would #if i was okay mentally i would do even better #crazy #i need to catch up with my readings tho im so behind on that but also not really

[thecherrygod]

Hm

#my posts #hi its 1 am and i am tired but also #you know. the demons. anyways so first of all ive been wanting to die all day but thats sort of. normal at this point #but now i am thinking about how this guy from class told me last week he trusts me for basically anything and then some days after that #he wasnt doing well and he talked to me about it and i think he said indirectly he was feeling suicidal but thats how i read the situation #and i. i dont get it #like i dont get how he trusts me for that #like i will try to help if he wants my help and i wont judge him and i wont force him to let me help if he doesnt want me to #but...... idk. i don't think i could tell him if i am feeling bad like that. i just. idk #also genuinely every time i realize the extent of how much new people in my life actually enjoy my presence i feel.. bad #i think that leftover from when i thought i would kms before turning 18 partially #so i just.. idk. man. i think there's something more to it. some sorrt of guilt but idk exactly why. maybe it just that but maybe there's #something else. idk. very unsure about it i really just wish i didn't feel like that also i just want to die #I've been getting more suicidal every day idk how is gonna go lmao also i wanna relapse but i can't. that's on purpose #and for the best. also nothing bad will happen to me i just feel like it should lmao