#idk who I’m doing after that though

[b3l0v3dzz]

Desertduo going from devoted to each other, to barely interacting, to disliking each other, to being allies, to only interacting a little but in the end having to part ways due to what the overlords of their lives demand is so insane actually

#spinning them around in my brain #they’re so #fascinating #I need to study them #I also need to rewatch last life cause I know there’s interactions there that I need to study #not a lot of interactions #but interactions nonetheless #also need to watch scars pov once I’m done bigbs #and ethos #and Impulses #then Scar and then Skizz #idk who I’m doing after that though #desertduo #scarian #trafficshipping #can be platonic #if you want #GoodTimesWithScar #Grian #third life #last life #double life #limited life #secret life #traffic life #life series #trafficblr

[ssreeder]

I'm so looking forward to iroh and zuko properly talking and seeing irohs reaction to zuko being gay.

Like we all know he doesn't agree with the fire nation rn but how will he react?

Will he not support him cause sokkas a guy? Will he not support him because it's SOKKA? Will he accept him? Will he reveal he's known for years zuko was gay?

Especially with everything that happened with zhao, regarding to what jee said to bato on their date. (Which is a very understandable perspective, zuko just got out of this very sexually traumatising situation and almost immediately starts a relationship (his first relationship) with sokka, but then again it is a very unique situation)

One thing I love about some atla fics is how they portray the FNs thoughts on queerness, cause on one hand they were one of the only country's (I think) that treated men and women the same but then again it's also the fucking fire nation.

And I also think zukos whole canon arc can be very comparative to queerness,

His dads an asshole and after speaking out against him he throws him out, and zuko try's for 3 years to regain his father's love and acceptance, and then faced with the opportunity of regaining it takes it immediately regardless of who or what he may hurt (iroh, his own morals etc) but once he makes it back home realises how fucked up everything is and eventually confronts his dad and openly tells him he doesn't agree with him then runs aways.

I also wonder if iroh secretly knows jee is queer it doesn't seem that likely to me but it also is iroh so who knows.

<3

I do think Iroh’s reaction will be a big moment for not only the story but for Zuko’s character development. Right now, Zuko’s technically still a prisoner, holding himself there by assuming Iroh will not understand or judge him when in reality he’ll never know what his uncle is thinking until they TALK ABOUT IT. (Which the FN royal family is just sooo good at healthy communication I don’t understand why this is so hard for them lol?!)

I do agree that the suddenness of the relationship combined with the intensity from both zuko and Sokka is very alarming for people looking at it from the outside (I mean we all totally get it cause we were there but others are like uhhhh hmmmm ok this might be concerning) so I get them gossiping and wondering if this is truly real or what the fucks going on with those boys.

I love Zukos canon arc because there’s just so much about zukos story that can be relatable no matter who you are and I think that’s why he is a fan favorite (it doesn’t explain why we torture him the way we do but ehhhh it’s fine haha)

Hmmmmmm does iroh know Jees gay? Depends on how saucy those music nights got ;)

#HAHAHA DO SEE THE JEEROH JOKE SOCKS?!?! I hope you see it through all your House reblogging nonsense haha #Jk you obsess over your new blorbos I support you! #I love this ask thank you #I also love that canon gave us so much to work with but left it loose enough we could do what we wanted #like I’ve read the fire nation written so many different ways in fics it’s insane #And I love all the unique thoughts! #I will continue to flesh out the FN little by little as we progress #An azula pov (or someone from her squad) will be part of every new chapter until the end #She’s a coming haha #I don’t know if iroh knows Jee is gay #Or that jee is like one date away from hooking up with bato haha #Or that zuko is already kind of hooking up with sokka (not really but I mean they’re getting prettttttttty snuggly haha) #But yeah idk I’m excited this next chapter it is A LOT #& we will be SUPER CLOSE to getting some answers to your questions lol #Thanks for this cool ask these are my favorite asks #Sorry if you’ve sent me an ask lately and I haven’t responded I’m getting better at that I promise #I will say though that I don’t respond to asks if I genuinely don’t know what to say or if I feel I might come off too mean or rude. #So yeah sorry anyone who’s ask I didn’t respond #(I also forget them in drafts and then feel weird about posting it after it’s been a month so I’m sorrrryyyyyy…) #Ok phew this was a lot of tags sorry #monsieugrgraves #Leaving it all behind #LIAB #ITF #ask

[clownjacket]

If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.

#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream #Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right? #She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name #Brennan literally rolled #and we know she was in Porter’s office #so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it #Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene #Which one of the RGs has invisibility? #HMMMM #Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP #know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple #Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity??? #We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive #knew her name #Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right? #And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore #But #Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her #domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain #And idk #A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex #who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life #One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids #and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death #that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it #especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back #especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter #Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna #Please world let me have this I’m on my knees #dimension 20

[lavender-temult]

why do baby otohan’s colors look like fuckign TOOTHPASTE in this version 😭😭😭

#first version was a red-orange to vaguely green yellow analogous palette then i messed with the clothes a little and now i am failing at #color theory. help. this split complementary teal(ish) color and orange(ish) and pink(ish) is NOT working out #i do like my og colors so I’ll recolor this clothing version with that palette. but make otohan’s skin more saturated lol #i always desaturate skin so much 😭 it looks okay after rendering but OOF. light skin especially fucks me up WHY IS IT SO HARD TO DRAW #but yeah back to the original point I’m definitely gonna try out a bunch of different color palettes #i like the new clothes. i was definitely NOT an outdoorsy kid so idk what I’m doing here but #for the purposes of giving her a pointy stick I hc otohan to be that. i love the outdoorsy toothpaste baby. that’s a normal sentence to say #about otohan thull who is not depicted to be ANY of those things canonically. can you imagine if she was though. toothpaste killed 3 of bh #while screaming and crying and flailing around as babies do. can you imagine #… can y’all tell it’s INCREDIBLY late lmao? #wait i think i have a “late night art rambling” tag one sec #anyways that’s that for tonight’s late night art ramblings lol #<- THERE IT IS! #art ramblings

[mossy-paws]

the fear of being dragged into like 10 fandoms all simultaneously and only being able to draw things for like. 1 of those fandoms because you aren’t confident with humanoids yet

#For those wondering #The fandoms I’m being dragged into are: #splatoon/object shows/ultrakill (even though I’ve always been hovering over that one)/little nightmares/hades/fnaf/the magnus archives… #INHALE #slay the princess/bugsnax/kirby/Pikmin/just shapes and beats/ANNNDDDD POKEMON (for the second time) #HELP. #I AM CURRENTLY #IN #PHIGHTING. REGRETEVATOR. AND RAINWORLD #AND MY HK/SPIDERVERSE/AND WARRIOR CAT PHASES ARE SLOWLY APPROACHING ME WITH A BASEBALL BAT #FEAR #anyways sorry for the silly little ramble #but so far Little Nightmares/splatoon/and Ultrakill are the ones who I’m probably gonna start hyperfixating on after phighting #If I ever do loose my PHIGHTING hyperfixation LOL #Idk that one is holding on STRONG for some reason #Anyways I am tired so Nighty night #Going back into my little hole in the everglades #cro chatter

[lazzarella]

Kinn really has so much love inside of him, huh? And the way he loves Porsche with everything, when he lets himself love him, it’s just like… All that love has been bursting to get out and now it finally has somewhere to go

#KinnPorsche #I have more thoughts but they’re not yet coherent #but idk it’s interesting how fully he loves even though he still has trust issues and he fucks up a lot (I guess they both do) #and the contrast of Porsche who has had the deep bond with his brother that he can express openly but has never been in love #with Kinn who has been in love but was betrayed by it and is more restrained in general #(well emotionally if not with the murder :P) #like he’s not affectionate with anyone but Porsche #also Vegas is probably even more interesting in this way??? literally never been shown love and just goes right into domestic mode #(okay not right into! but the parallels with both him and Kinn looking up cooking on YouTube was cute) #I also had some thoughts about Porsche who has never had anyone to look after him and stuff and the dynamic with kinn wrt that #but idk I know this has probably all been said before but I like getting my own thoughts out #but then I get embarrassed in case I’m wrong or something haha #Lazzarella watches tv

[theworstcreature]

Chat what if I started crying

Tw for animal death in the tags

#my senior cat is doing not great #she must’ve been bitten by some large neighborhood animal #she’s pretty sick and has some bite marks from canine teeth on her lower back #she probably won’t make it through the night #I really hope she does so we can get her to the vet #why didn’t we take her when we first found the bite marks #if she doesn’t at least she dies with loved ones #unlike my other cat #who died from being attacked by some different beast #like god two three years ago at this point #idk why this cat is making me feel so much worse #maybe it’s because instead of my mom randomly sitting me down and telling me #I’m watching her decline in real time #we probably won’t get another new cat after this #I hope we do though #I don’t like not having a fuzzy little study buddy #and my other cat at the moment doesn’t really do affection #I have a little bit of hope though because she still has enough energy to be hissy spitty at the dog for simply existing #and when we moved her from one end of a bed to the other she stood up and re situated herself #lowkey wanna start sobbing but idk I feel like that’d make my parents pay attention to me and that’s lowkey what I don’t want #like idk my family does the physical affection like hugging and shit #but when k feel like shit that’s not really my thing #and boy howdy do I feel like shit #anyway rant over #bye

[philsmeatylegss]

*Types into search bar*

“How to still be an active fan of a creator when previously being an obsessive fan for most of your teens because they were one of the few good things keeping you from killing yourself in middle school so now trying to become a more casual fan feels like a betrayal and I cannot get into new fandoms because the high I got in middle school from the extreme emotion switch cannot be replicated both because I’m literally twenty and I’m far from suicidal so now and I love these creators with my whole heart and still engage with all of their new content but I want to move on while also still being a fan but I just can’t?”

#this is about dan and phil lol #literally my pfp and url is inspired from them and my identity partly is them #they were my first healthy adult relationship I saw as a child so it feels fucking hard to turn away #and I just can’t get into any new content because it’s not the same #also I’m really picky in who I like to read fanfic about and most fandoms don’t fit that criteria but that’s irrelevant at this time #idk #the phandom is dying because we’re all getting older and have learned how to be healthy about an interest #and it hurts to watch it happen to yourself #idk I can always fall back on it when they upload new content #that’s actually what I do #I still get that same high when they upload #but it fizzles out after a few hours #WHICH IS HEALTHY #but I’ve spent so long obsessing over it that this casual treatment feels like betrayal #I feel like I can’t be the only one going through this though #hmu to create a support group for people who were rabidly obsessed with dnp in their early teenage years accompanied with severe mental #illness and are now getting older and healthier so you don’t get that same obsession but you’re still a fan but you can’t join any new #fandoms and so on #also if you just happen to know of a fandom stanning something that includes a real carnon gay relationship where both parties are gay and #the fics fucking slap please lmk #I mean ig it can be fictional but I just have a thing with them not being fully gay irl #I’m not gonna start because I don’t want to be cancelled #so many people have gone through this phase of going rabid to normal why did no one warn me #rae’s rambles #dan and phil

[justinefrischmanngf]

it’s not that it makes me sad per se but i really could’ve been dating someone i did actually kind of really want to date since JULY. and now the moment is literally so far gone and i didn’t realise until the moment was so far gone !!!

#like it actually doesnt make me sad because there wouldve been major complications Had we dated #and the person who i trust most in this world has told me theyre glad it didnt happen #and i think in the long run he’s not the First person i should date anyway like in an ideal world we’d date like. 2-3 years on from now when #i’d been in at least one relationship to work out how i operate in a relationship #but it’s also like i wish i had known that the opportunity was there and i wish i had taken it #and part of me goes well maybe in 2-3 years it COULD happen #but i think that does a disservice to the person he’s dating now like . i do hope they’re happy and it goes well for the both of them #AND ALSO ITS WEIRD AS FUCK TO BE LIKE OH WELL MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS ILL DATE THIS PERSON *AFTER* another person?????? #like bitch who do you think u are that you’ll have managed to date ANYONE in that time and also why the fuck would u date someone without #hoping it would last???????? #but thoughts ≠ action nor are they inherently moralistic #but also that’s a weird way 2 think about relationships #it’d be funny if it happened though #idk i just think that if the timing was different he and i could have so much fun dating like genuinely i think it’d be a really good time #but it’s really weird because i’m not pining away after him or anything like ik it sounds like i am #but it’s not like that it’s more just that it’s opened up all these thoughts that i hadn’t really thought possible before ? #and they’re not possible NOW bc he’s dating someone else so i’m in exactly the same position but idk #i think i’m getting too settled. i’m TOO SETTLED. #because it’s literally not normal to think oh maybe in three years we could date and it’d be better timing for both of us ??????????? #unhinged behaviour. what the fuck is that. #it’d be fucking hilarious if it happened tho

[johndonneswife]

someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck

#who is talking about this!!!! let me know #idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which #i was anticipating #and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before #but liiiiiike. #i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them #it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there #just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse #like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no #anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite #and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up #people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out #and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point #or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible #but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding #at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends #which i am so grateful for obviously #i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol #AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad #just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t #i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it #i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this #which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao #probably for the best #ugh whatever #again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know #meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone #AAAAAAAA i just want to scream #text

[tariah23]

Well, I’m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, he’s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I don’t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones who’ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth, too 😭… out of love. He’s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eye’s sparkle whenever he’s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (he’s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway 🥺…) from what we’ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)

#I’m also not usually one to get annoyed whenever ppl shit on the things I like #like I’m an adult sorry idc 😵‍💫 #but it’s always annoying seeing ppl who know nothing about the story complaining about it #even just as recently with the Gojo being racist shit 😭.. #like he’s a really great character despite all of that and even though Gege’s #execution of that could’ve been better or didn’t need to happen at all #because idk what gege was doing even though I do strongly believe that he used a moment like this to showcase Gojo’s ignorance and #that how he’s also human and makes mistakes since if you’re familiar with the series Gojo isn’t really treated like person at all #more like a deity and he doesn’t like that #but he’s never been one to voice his personal feelings and talk about his trauma ever #he gets treated like a god and because of this he’s never felt like he could truly connect with other people #so that’s why he puts on that whole act of being overly friendly/ playing with others and even rude to shut others out because of his #aversion to opening his traumatized self To other ppl like he’s so cool #and when he’s friendly he gives the others just enough of his affection so that he wouldn’t be worried about and not have others pry #but he’s incredibly flawed as well #I feel like gege could’ve showed Gojo being ‘humbled’ some other kind of way over the racism tho 😭. But it’s fine lmfao #I’m still so grateful that he had Gojo actually apologize instead of waving Miguel off like he didn’t matter because like I’ve said before #he literally never apologizes (this is probably the first time that I’ve ever seen gojo apologize to anyone in canon I’m so serious 🗿) #that’s literally not part of him #like he feels regret but he never apologies or shows that he actually cares about what others are expressing to him when they’re upset with #him. like this is crazy. but it shows that he did care about the mistake that he made which I appreciate…. like idk how I would’ve felt #about his character if he showed that he could care less when hurting someone like this🗿….. #I adore him so much sorry sorry for taking about anime I’m just 😭…. ❤️❤️❤️ #rambling #I’m glad that everyone is fucking with Miguel now because he is a really interesting character even though we haven’t seen much of him #he’s one of the few ppl who Gojo trusted enough to look after someone who he cared about despite the horrors #because he knew that Miguel would protect yuuta and do right by him #it’s very 😭❤️…

[gregmarriage]

i may know it’s healthy to interact with people and be social, but that doesn’t mean i find it easy in any way

#like i don’t actually mean to isolate myself i just get lost in doing my own thing #which isn’t bad in itself #but then i find myself feeling sad and idk why #bruh you haven’t spoken to your friends in quite a while #if i was a sim my social bar would be red #but i still don’t wanna talk to people sometimes #like i have to physically force myself just to say ‘hey! #everyone pray for gwen’s social life bc it sucks and isn’t really getting any better even tho i’m trying my hardest #i do wanna push myself more and talk to ppl i’ve always wanted to talk to #but my stupid brain won’t let me #i’m trying to push past it though #it would be nice to make new friends that i then neglect bc i’m bad at friendship #idk maybe that isn’t fair #but i still wouldn’t say i’m great at it #idk i just feel dumb for begging people to talk to me #or even just sending messages to new people #or even my friends who i know won’t judge me but still #idk i’m still sensitive after my episode and i just feel embarrassing and annoying and like i’m bugging people #and i believe them when they say i’m not but it doesn’t stop completely me from feeling that way #literally ‘hey’ feels like i just pissed on the floor in front of them #like god! way to be annoying gwen!! #yes i know it’s my brain talking but literally i use up so much energy trying not to feel it #and so much letting myself feel it #and i only have so much energy as it is #not that it matters #bc most ppl don’t care as long as i check in sometimes #but again i repeat my earlier statement #don’t wanna check in i feel cringe #need friends and communication but cannot maintain them #like the 100th post i’ve made but it’s what my thoughts are currently

[sammygender]

thinking about how one of the last things john ever tells dean is an admittance that the way he treated him was fucked. & of course this destroys dean and makes it so much harder for him to come to terms w his death right after and with his childhood in general bc he’s spent his entire life chasing after johns approval. he’s spent his entire life telling himself that the way he was treated was okay and justified and that their childhood was good because he could handle it and he was strong enough and that was how it had to be. he’s worshipped john as a hero and seen nothing wrong with any of it. because he’s had to. his entire life is built around this idea there’s nothing else. he’s his dads perfect soldier and punching bag and wife-replacement and suddenly his dads gone & he said he’s sorry and that he shouldn’t have treated dean that way. what the hell is he supposed to do now.

#augh. i don’t know i haven’t seen enough of this show yet but. #thinking about that episode with the abused kid who has psychic powers like sams and sam sees himslef in the kid a lot #but is horrified by the extent of the abuse and keeps saying like. Dean i never thought i’d say this but you’re right dad was pretty good i #guess we were really lucky to have him. it could’ve turned out a very different way. #and deans just like. idk there’s something about his face. like he wants to agree cause this is what he’s always saying but he Cant. #because. well. sams thinking about this kid with circumstances so similar to him who ended up entirely victimised by his father and #thinking Wow i had something that kid didn’t. i had MY dad who was so much better after all (despite kicking me out of the house and #always refusing to support me but wtv) #but really the thing sam had was DEAN. #dean as sam’s protector and john’s golden child and the adult of the family. dean as the person #john winchester comes home to after a hunt the person who tells him it’s okay #dean playing the part of his dead mom and still shielding sammy from the worst of their father and as a result internalising that this was #fine. #what the hell is he going to do now that his fathers dead? after his fathers dead and wrong and theoretically morally weak and admitted hed #raised dean badly? #IDK!!! i’m sure excited to see him continue to break down though #(have just finished s2e2 for future me ref) #supernatural #<- Sorry guys i’m batshit obsessed. #father by the front bottoms dean song of all time #spn #oliver talks

[arthur-r]

as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!

#i have work in seven and a half hours. so i should really be getting to bed #BUT i officially made my final definitive degree plan!!!! i mean not the actual classes but all the requirements i have to meet and how!! #(in order to earn: history and information science double major. with certificates in material culture and classics) #and i’m genuinely excited for every single class i have to take except for human-computer interaction #just cause i know it’s gonna get overly technical in ways that won’t quite apply to my future #anyway every single other thing i’m gonna do is very cool and exciting. so everything is good really #but i should be sleeping. and i’m not. as usual 🤧 #idk wish me luck!!!! i’m so hyped about my degree plan though #i’ll go into more detail another time. i’m very excited #ANYWAY goodnight!!!! can’t be so busy planning my future in library science that i DONT GO TO MY SHELVING JOB #kind of important to actually go to work for the library that employs me…. #and then i might go see a first-printing roget’s thesaurus!!!! or i’ll sleep. we’ll see #followed by lunch with GUY WHO IS THE WORST KILL HIM WITH HAMMERS #(there is nothing really wrong with me he just keeps kind of being mean to me and also expecting me to fall in love with him. but like #extremely passively and not manipulatively it’s just like. hey buddy you’re doing this friendship wrong….) #anyway then i have a class and after that i have an hour to rest. and then a phone call and then a lot of homework #(ten page paper draft due in a week and a half!! so it’s time to start writing the actual body of it) #and then i sleep for a LONG time and then work again on saturday. and then sleepover with somebody i have a crush on?? #and then be normal all day on sunday and do a little more paper writing. and programming homework. and whatever else #and then keep up with the slog for three weeks!!!! and all of a sudden it’s summer!!!! #projects left this year: material culture paper (entirely unstarted. but may research the thesaurus and just win!!!!) #history project (draft due the monday after next and real paper due a week after classes end) #one more programming assignment where i adapt my recipe doubler project (probably. it’s getting stupid at this point but it’s what i got!!) #and a programming test in two weeks and then the final a week after that. then no more programming #and then i just have my weekly latin tests and a latin final on may 5th. and then EVERYTHING IS DONE #ok i got this. sorry for walking through my schedule in the tags it’s how i remember what’s real #can’t believe my fucking partner just kind of walked out on me there hello???? like. we should be powering through finals together #but i’m genuinely better off without him so i guess it’s just whatever. trash took itself out or something?? #anyway. i’m so regular. and i have work in the morning. and i’m going to sleep #thank you world. goodnight

[ruffgem]

I hate school so fucking much lol and I always just thought I was taking too many credits but this semester I finally took a normal amount of credits and it doesn’t matter. It’s not the amount of classes, it’s just having any classes at all. I feel like there was definitely a time where I could handle it but not anymore lmfao… this place was crazy. Sent me into my first real and scary panic attack, broke me out in stress hives, ruined my sleep, turned me into a mega hater…. smh. I know it could be a million times worse so I feel bad for complaining but it was not cool. All I can hope for is that my degree and good grades that I damn near died trying to get for literally no reason do me some good in real society tho I doubt it lmao

#like why did I try so hard lmfao…… I don’t need a 4.0 I’m not going to grad school I’d rather kms #I don’t know. I didn’t realize I was trying that hard I just thought that’s how hard I was supposed to try #IDK!!!! #I have never been good at knowing how much effort to put into things my entire life #I give everything 110 percent when it feels like I’m giving it like. Idk. 80 percent #everyone calls me a perfectionist and IM NOT TRYING TO BE LOL I don’t know how to gauge what I can or can’t be dismissive of!!! #it’s hard for me to discuss this problem I have without it sounding like I’m being like ‘omg I’m so smart that I do everything perfect by #accident’ #THATS NOT WHAT I MEEEEAAAN #whatever #some people’s mental health issues make their grades tank but I have never had below an A- in my life and if u ask me that is also #indicative of an issue like LOL. if your child is like that then get them help for fucking real #ugh I love my mom and it’s not her fault but when I was a kid I was literally bawling and having stress headaches and canker sores DAILY #after school and being unable to sleep because I was so afraid of going the next day #and she was just like. ‘I was like that too :) it’s normal. you’re just a perfectionist’ #ACTUALLY IM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND FOR NO REASON but okay #ok sorry let me just shout out some gratitude tho to the handful of teachers I had who were epic and had swag #I loved them #they didn’t make up for the rest of this bullshit though LOL

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Rewatching Inside Job and I forgot how much I love Reagan

#inside job #reagan ridley #andre became my favourite after the flat earth episode so i always focused on him #bc i like that he has ocd/anxiety (even though it’s kind of made fun of) #i hope we get to see more of that in s2 (but played a bit more seriously) #but anyway i love reagan! #we stan an autistic asshole who’s a mess #also i know i shouldn’t compare it to rnm all the time because i’m sure they’re sick of that comparison #but she honestly does feel like if beth was the protagonist of rnm #like we still get that drunken genius asshole thing that everyone loves about rick #(including me) #but they’re definitely more sympathetic characters #also i like that reagan’s character is very rounded and more realistic? #like she is a bit of an asshole but also she is just genuinely socially awkward #also she’s a mess and it’s not romanticised or anything #idk i can’t explain myself #but i do love inside job #and i love reagan