#idk why but I made Aradia so cute

[peachyclown]

Today I present some old drawings of Oreo :33

#artist on tumblr #homestuck #homestuck art #homestuck fanart #art #oc #oc art #homestuck fancharacter #fankid #rufioh nitram #equius zahhak #eridan ampora #aradia megido #homestuck rufioh #homestuck equius #homestuck eridan #homestuck aradia #idk why but I made Aradia so cute

[ignitingthesky]

for the fic ask game. I’m A Flower You’re My Bee (i want real love baby)

from the Father John Misty song Real Love Baby !!!!!!

as far as I know we don't share fandoms and idk how you feel about Homestuck but, this is giving me arasol jsjsjskkss. also sorry in advance despite the really cute title it's gonna get a lil sad:

so I thought of an Aradia-centric no-sgrub AU with role reversal regarding the haunting, where Sollux is the one who dies and haunts Aradia (not sure about the setting yet but Aradia needs to have necromantic powers here)

Sollux isn't really made for haunting, just as a person, he's not scary + it's Aradia that's keeping him around.

perhaps he dies really young protecting her in an incident that endangered them both, and afterwards she sustains his ghost with her powers. things seem to stay the same, but as time passes and she grows up he remains the same

Here's where the "(I want real love baby)" comes in: I don't think she'll question whether he's real, but I think she'll end up questioning whether what she did truly preserved him as who he is or did she merely trap him in the instance he died protecting her, in a selfless moment of childhood love that is now static and unchanging. The gap between how they think and feel can only expand as she grows up and he remains the same.

So 'is it real love' applies both ways. is it real love to bind him to this earth? is his love real for being bound? Is he Sollux or a memory, frozen and unable to grow or change? Haunting isn't something the ghost does to the mortal, haunting is something the person conjures of the ghost.

Also the image of the romance between a flower and a bee draws out the themes of freedom and staticity too, alongside ideas of inevitable life cycles and the fleeting nature of contact between a flower and a bee. Going against nature and life to extend a fleeting moment into eternity

Don't know how to end this I don't want them to part and personally I support defying nature :'(

I think Aradia isn't the kind to cling on if it's obviously better to let go BUT I also think she wouldn't mind being haunted at all as long as it's not like. actually bad for Sollux to keep him around. it really comes down to whether the question is answered satisfactorily doesn't it? Can this be real?

We're doing Aradia's pov only and never portraying Sollux's interiority. For the sake of being frustrating.

Why not be haunted anyway? if the haunting persists until you die then you'll both be ghosts why not why not...

Send a fic title and I'll discuss how I'd write it

#fic ask game #homestuck #arasol

[pochapal]

Homestuck question for you - have you played any or all of Hiveswap/Friendsim/Pesterquest? I'm just curious how much postcanon content you've consumed

i played both hiveswap acts (i thought they were okay) and i played the first few and the last few friendsims (my hot take is that i just don't find the majority of the hiveswap trolls that interesting enough to go through a 10k word vn route for each of them!) mainly for the friendsim epilogue. i do think hiveswap is cute and fun but it's appealing to a certain part of homestuck i just don't find that engaging personally. i know this comes a lot from its troubled development but hiveswap as a concept never really did it for me. it just felt like a smoothed-down reiteration of the fandombait parts of homestuck but without any of the bite. the extended zodiac is cool to use as a background character-filling resource though i will give it that. idk i think a piece of media that just follows the pre-established rules without at the very least bending them lacks that secret sauce that gets me obsessed with it.

i did go through the entirety of pesterquest doing each route the literal day it came out though because it was definitely an epilogues tie-in more than it was part of the Hiveswap Extended Universe and that made it way more appealing to me. a lot of the routes were just Really Super Good (off the top of my head i am recalling jade's route, aradia's route, vriska and terezi's routes, roxy's route, and the dirk route finale) and it was just so much fun at the time to have this ongoing project to bounce off of while making omelette route. the trans content was also really good - the june hints, the explicit trans girl vriska canonization, and even the rancid psychic assault that was choosing to make eridan an egg in his route. i thought the finale/epilogue were super interesting with regards to illuminating some of the denser points of the epilogues themselves and the ending itself was great because its notion of "protect one fictional instance of post-canon homestuck from the nightmare meat/candy cycle" was also what i was going for with omelette route so on a purely egotistical level i loved that my line of thinking vis a vis post canon was on the right track. one thing that makes me sad about it is the cool homestuck^2 hints during the aradia route that never went anywhere because hs^2 died before it could really take off but homestuck^2 is a whole can of worms that requires careful defusing to talk about.

but yeah! that's my level of engagement with the "post-canon era" of homestuck and also some of my thoughts on it. i say post-canon to distinguish this time period from the newly-emergent "home22tuck era" which i have less than zero interest in due to it being much more interested in reviving old canon/talking about hiveswap than the more interesting and more insane ideas and discussions inherent to the post-canon era. this is also probably why i will not end up engaging with hiveswap act 3 since everything seems to indicate that it'll be part of the home22tuck wave of Content and i'm only interested in the good shit (very insane pretentious metafictional nonsense).

#yumantimatter #now if you want to get into the real Good Postcanon Shit then all of the above pales in comparison to godfeels

[macklives]

session 94 end

so

:)

i want to be as serious as i can about this without screaming my head off so i can actually get some information down, considering these end of sessions serve as my personal notes, so if i look back at them and notice the notes just have a continuous stream of “AAAAAAA FUCK YOU U, U INCEL” i dont think id be amused

BASICALLY!!!!

vriska killed her aradia, but not only did she kill aradia, vriska made her BOYFRIEND kill her. and the boyfriend just so happens to be sollux! which is actually cute, i support it, i ship, but now in the future its going to make me sad whenever they have screen time together agsjgshsh

anyways, he was unaware this happened because he was being controlled by vriska. presumably, she forced him to eat the mind honey. this brings a whole new perspective of the “under no circumstances do you eat the mind honey” i take it. so now aradia is actually dead dead. 

but shes still here!! because shes a ghost! so its alright! 

and the origin??? lol, vriska wanted to actively kill tavros when he pushed him off the cliff rather than just break his legs, which made aradia upset so she created the hauntings. vriska contacted doc about it who advised to kill aradia. yada yada, to shorten it up, vriska and dick scratcher suck ass.

doc scratch is a crusty old dildo who manipulates young children for his master to kill their friends, his master being lord english. and from all of this shit that occurred, there’s a plan apparently?? idk what the plan is. but hes making children kill each other. so idk. maybe hes trying to off them so they dont corrupt his plans. he acts like a cocky bastard however, and has a weird god complex. thats why i made many death note references. 

oh, and theres a lot of cahoots for THIS particular dilemma, (not even all of homestuck this is just for...one part of the story), but ill take a screenshot of one of my posts about it bc i do not feel to type it up rn:

oh not only that! but scratch is a “first guardian” which means hes in charge of the whole planet or some sort of being that REPRESENTS the planet?? in this case alternia. and yeah idk, im rereading that part now bc before i was more angry than anything so i didnt process it completely, and its still sorta confusing. he has a genetic code, the same as every guardian apparently, considering they SHARE the sequence? but that code grants them omnipotence? what?? and “when merged with a host of great intelligence, near omniscience as well” im not sure what this means, if its a random genetic code that gets into a living being which CREATES the first guardian or if its a first guardian that has that code and NEEDS to have a host. 

but if doc scratch has been here since the birth of the planet, what does that make lord english? hmmm, how powerful IS lord english in this case if the fucking “first guardian” is a servant to him. im curious

ummmm also he glows like bec? jades dog? idk if thats just an art choice but the similarities are so uncanny that i had to point it out. makes me wonder. tho.. iirc bec glows bc he eats radioactive food or something,,,, i really forgot, i havent seen the kids since december okay.... but idk, he glows like him so that means he can do the space teleportation schtick as bec does, which is how he probably gets from place to place i presume. idk if its BECAUSE of that very same “genetic code” the first guardians have, making bec a first guardian himself (of earth maybe??) or if its just a coincidence. and knowing homestuck, could be either. tho im guessing we’ll uncover more of that later as it doesnt seem like we’re supposed to know right away and i may be pulling shit out of my ass based on a green strobe light resemblance

also terezi called out vriska to scratch, so im pretty sure hes now going to now kill vriska

well

probably not but dw if you do ill turn around and pretend i saw nothing

and thats it folks!

haha.....

.......

aradia and sollux........ 

...... :(

thats sad gang..it really is

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs94 #hs94 end

[limeinaltime]

I'd love to know your opinion of the 12 trolls, from Aradia to Feferi!

Hoo boy I’ll try

Aradia: She’s one of my few actual faves. I actually cheered for her during [S] Make Her Pay and her revival was badass af. Her ditching Sollux on the roof made it waver, but she’s still a hard 9/10 for me.

Tavros: I don’t really have any opinions on this guy other than he got screwed over so much in canon and I feel really bad for him. His relationship with his lusus was cute. 6/10 for me.

Sollux: Bastard (endearing). I understand where a lot of his cynicism comes from given what would happen to him in the future and all the ghost crap he has to put up with, and IDK. I just feel like he ended up pulling the short straw no matter what he did and that he got done super dirty. 9/10, I like him. I’d be his friend. I also really relate to him.

Karkat: TBH, I didn’t like him at first, but he grew on me. Re-reading Homestuck helped me better develop his character and give him a personality instead of just “asshole”. 7/10.

Nepeta: Okay, maybe I’m biased because she’s my patron troll but I really like her. I relate to her a lot more than the other trolls and what happened to her made me have to step away from my computer for a bit. 8/10 for me, the friendshipping was weird but hey.

Kanaya: Another fave. She’s very pretty and cool, and we’re both very socially awkward so props to her for being sort-of the mom friend of the group and trying to stay level-headed when things went south. The pressure put on her to revive the entire troll race makes me feel kinda bad for her, considering she’s never been to the caverns before and I don’t think anyone’s explained to her the whole song and dance when it comes to being a jadeblood.

Terezi: A strange and funny girl. No real opinions. 6/10.

Vr*ska: I used to be friends with someone like her. Character-wise, she’s interesting, as a person I’d throat chop her

Equius: I just think he’s weird, IDK why he was smiling when he died but knowing him I probably don’t want to know, 3/10

Gamzee: Uh... 3/10

Eridan: Fish (derogatory). Not a big fan of the guy, but I feel he at least deserves a chance. 5/10

Feferi: Don’t agree with all her beliefs and actions, but she’s not bad. 7/10

#homestuck #soup speaks #ask

[loud-whistling-yes]

So while reading Hivebent I actually made notes on which troll is which because my memory is downright shitty. It was originally meant to just jolt down their name, symbol, typing and stuff but eventually evolved to just real time reactions to the story and while rereading them I spent a good amount of time laughing my ass off so enjoy

Who the fuck is it: Homestuck Edition

So far we have:

Libra girl

• weird teal (blue) writing. Is it a girl? I hope so.

• also blind (I think)

• types in caps and numbers w h y

• (later added on) her name's Terezi

Karkat guy

• (while pointing towards a very poorly drawn Cancer symbol) eh, close enough

• I hope it's a guy

• Cancer I think???

• grey blood? Red blood?

• grey writing in caps

• seriously what colour is the blood???? Idk man

• (added later on) candy red blood. Mutant. Figures.

Gamzee the Capricorn

• I think he's royal blood and shit

• dark purple-indigo blood???

• a fucking hippy (my note: I had no other way to describe him)

• his writing style gives me headaches

• "lIkE tHiS???"

• (later added on) oh wow he's a psychopath

Leo girl

• keeps on writing with :333

• uses 3 to replace "e" (my note: she does?)

• weird yellow-green text

• (later added on) why is there three people in green. I hate green.

Aries girl

• looks possessed (my note: no shit Sherlock)

• snapped the neck of the frog thing (my note: temple)

• looks cool

• so SHE'S the one who started this mess

• nvm IS possessed

• (later added on) oh she's a dead ghost that explains

Aquarius boy

• he has a ring (edit: a lot of rings)

• calls people "land dwellers"

• talks like a retard / violet text

• DAW he and Feferi are so cute together

• (later added on. I think at the time he killed Kanaya and Feferi) Well look where all my love and respect for him went. To the trash. Au re-fucking-vior.

Gemini boy

• his Sollux right? (Yeah he is)

• weird blue red eyes

• writes in yellow and can code shit

• the guy who starts this shit?

• has bipolar (I think)

• replaces "s" with 2 (why)

• (later added on) WAIT WHAT HE'S ARADIA'S BOYFRIEND??????

Taurus (?) boy

• he's called Tavros

• sits on a wheelchair

• brown/orange text (cONSTANTLY SCREAMING-)

• Got mind controlled by megalovania girl and yote himself off a cliff (my note: to say I didn't spit my water out rereading this note would be a lie)

• Can control animals

Scorpio girl

• haha yes megalovania girl (my note: I want to explain that the only reason why I read homestuck in the first place was because I wanted to know what was going on in S: Wake. So the only characters I recognized were Tavros and Vriska cause everyone was talking about them in the comments)

• oh yeah she has a weird eye

• I think she's Vriska

• blue cyan text

• also a jerk (not surprised tbh)

• (later added) WAIT SHE HAS A ROBO ARM?!

• (later added) got cursed with bad luck or some shit. Idk

• (later added) also killed Aradia (not surprised either)

Virgo girl

• "lesbian vampire" (my note: never had I ever made such a spot-on foreshadowing before)

• dark green text (probably the most normal text style here)

• nope this woman has never heard of full stops

Sagittarius boy

• indigo text (I have no idea how to describe it)

• got 公主病 (my note: I'm sorry I don't know how to translate this to English)

• really strong

• really into the caste system (does he have a fetish or what-)

• can control Vriska's robo arm

• I think he likes Aradia

Pisces girl

• she looks cool

• she texts like she's talking underwater

• what am I saying I'm 95% sure she lives underwater

• I think she's the royal of all royals

And the gigantic writing at the bottom of the last page is just me freaking out over Jack Noir killing dad Egbert and mom Lalonde

OH MY GOD WHAT THE

FUCK

JACK NOIR

WHY the

FUCK

Did YOU do

THAT

#homestuck #trolls #jack noir #commentary #funny #reactions #whoop

[dafukdidiwatch]

Troll Rank 14

Oh I am such a fucking hypocrite

1. Karkat

2. Nepeta

3. Sollux

4. Gamzee

5. Feferi  (RIP)

6. Terezi

7. Equius (RIP)

8. Kanaya (RIP)

9. Tavros (RIP)

10. Aradia

11. Vriska

12. Eridan

Gamzee was this fucking close to making the top 3. THIS fucking close. How can I still fucking like a psychopathic murderer. HOW!?!?

So I guess I am going to explain my feelings on The Evil Three.

Eridan, he is a whiny entitled prat who forces unwanted feelings on everyone and everything. I use to think he was cute when he was with Feferi, but after realizing his behavior with everyone, I think he is fucking trash. And when he didn’t get the companionship he wanted, he threw everything away for a chance at his own survival by trying to side with Jack. He fucking killed the Matriarch Orb Thing out of Spite because things didn’t go his way, he is trash and I hate him.

Vriska....she is complicated. I can understand why people like her, and I do too. He is cocky, confident, aggressive, assertive, she takes control of her own life but loves to risk it all on the roll of the dice. But...she is scary, unhinged. Like anything can set her off to attack, so make the wrong move and you are dead. She pushes everyone aside to her glory and her plans, it doesn’t matter who she hurts. The worst is that, while she will get invested in you, it is only to try and bring you up to her level. Like you are unworthy unless you prove yourself to her over and over again. The is a difference between trying to toughen someone up and then groom them to your ideal person, and Vriska straddles that line. Add that in with her need to be the best, so she must be the beginning AND the end to the fucking Ultimate Villain, and that is just a disaster waiting to happen.

So....why....Fucking Gamzee is different than both of these kids, Gamzee is on a whole ‘nother level. He is smart, crafty from stealing the glasses, sadistic to playing the field. He is confident to the point of having power, he doesn’t need to show you how better he is like the other two, he knows it and takes charge around it. There is something...idk....seductive?.....about how he managed to handle himself. I assumed that his text were just him talking and shouting, but his facial expressions when attacking Equius and Nepeta were impassive and unimpressed. The flaws that he has to his character are, at the moment, unaffecting him. He is psychotic, but that isn’t hindering him in the way Eridan’s egotism and Vriska’s glory affect them.

And I really can’t let go of his past high self, I still like that part and want that Gamzee back :(

Please note that this not that this does not mean that I am not terrified of the Clown, I still am.

And Nepeta and Equius made a jump up in the polls too....It seems like the couples get higher after they fucking DIED so fucking thanks Hussie.

Equius trying to be pleasing with Nepeta and talk about feelings, and trying to roleplay was fucking adorable. And he really did put Nepeta’s protection over his own, which is something I respected.

Nepeta’s cat faces are the cutest, but she does have a hissy feisty side to her. She isn’t afraid to give Equius a piece of her mind, and is not putting up with Eridan’s bullshit either. I fucking love that.

#dafukblog #homestuck #act5.2 #hs167 #troll rank

[birriabirria]

(human!karkat, troll!dirk and what-if idea) karkat isn’t much of a fighter for dirk’s liking so he sends him a sparring robot and while karkat *gets* that dirk is trying to make him stronger, he’d rather prefer it if he didn’t nag him about it every time he does anything and much to dirk’s frustration, karkat manages to rope brobot into playing (and maybe even acting out) scenes from his romance movies dirk: are you seriously going to make out with my robot karkat, snapping out of his daydream: wha karkat: NO. I WASN’T GONNA MAKE OUT WITH YOUR ROBOT dirk: but you want to. all you want right now is to kiss my robot karkat: NO, I DON’T dirk: you do, want to plant one right there on its kisser dirk: maybe i’ll give it one so it can kiss back karkat: WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT??? karkat: I THOUGHT YOU THINK THAT IT’S WEIRD dirk: i do think it’s weird that’s why i’m saying it dirk: and i’m going to keep saying it because i know you like hearing it karkat: UGH!!! karkat: [stomps away]

later: dirk, internally: wait dirk: don’t kiss my robot, that’s not what it’s for dirk: but i get it though. it is pretty cute karkat: yeah, it is cute dirk: glad you agree karkat: but you aren’t dirk: dirk: do you know that it looks like me karkat: IS IT? I DIDN’T NOTICE karkat: AND LET’S FACE IT, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A VAIN DOUCHE dirk: vain, someone’s throwing out the fancy words karkat: oh sorry, do you want to have a robot that looks like me instead? dirk: i might. i might even might sew some clothes for it and kiss it karkat: hilarious later: dirk: wait brobot gets banged up and karkat worriedly contacts dirk and asks him to send more parts to fix him and dirk says that he doesn’t need that, he can just send karkat another robot and karkat refuses because if he wanted another robot, he’d ask for one!! he likes *this* robot and he wants to keep this robot so can he just have some fucking parts to fix him?! dirk doesn’t budge so karkat yells for auto responder

REGULUSRAIN said: Hal helps Karkat because 1) Hal likes Brobot. Splinter solidarity!! And 2) Hal likes Karkat, (because) Karkat cares about Brobot. Easy, right and maybe because karkat talks to him too? REGULUSRAIN said: Yeah! He would! “you made a PERSON and then used him as an auto responder?? What’s wrong with you Dirk???” as soon as he discovers that Hal is a person he (like Roxy) begins to talk to him karkat preferring to talk to hal than dirk… ohohohoho REGULUSRAIN said: In your face Dirk!! Hal would boast so much! Also.. Dirk raised on Alternia, a very brutal society… Would maybe basically be Bro? oh, that’s so sad REGULUSRAIN said: It… Is. But also, if they had similar guardians, maybe Roxy’s ancestor *saw* that and made sure that Dirk and Roxy grew up away from troll society and schoolfeeding so they won’t end up ruthless like that?? hm… there’s also the question is they’re as solitary like canon too? REGULUSRAIN said: Well it is a big part of their character I think so. Maybe? Maybe hmmm alpha Dave and Rose made sure that their descendants were solitary because Alpha Rose foresaw that troll society would be maybe bad for them? So they were placed in hmmm dangerous places? Kinda? Like not dangerous but surrounded by danger, like beasts? So they can’t go to society until they’re strong enough to beat the beasts which is a good motivation to be stronger! REGULUSRAIN said: Like… Thinking about it, I feel like the trolls were a bit isolated from society? Karkat was obviously isolated, Nepeta lived in the woods, Sollux was a shut in haha Aradia was more interested in ruins… Idk I feel like the reason most of the twelve weren’t bloodthirsty like Alternia seems to come from some isolation from society? maybe this can be a troll & human society? REGULUSRAIN said: Hmmm why not? In this case, Dirk and Roxy would live in human society, which suits a bit the “isolated” part you’re making very good points and i can’t answer hahahaha and with the troll & human society thing then maybe karkat is one of the humans that dirk talks to? REGULUSRAIN said: Yeah! Like… Trolls and humans live together but there are still troll zones and human zones. Dirk and Roxy are very far into an human zone where people aren’t used to see trolls so they’re isolated, while Karkat lives somewhere truly mixed and thus is used to trolls (and maybe he has a moirail ??) while Dirk kind of knows more about humans than trolls given the place he lives in. So talking with Karkat is interesting because he is a human who grew up with trolls around they’re penpals… that would be so cute REGULUSRAIN said: Nice :3c REGULUSRAIN said: Omg consider… Karkat knowing more about quadrants than Dirk hahaha oooooh, yes! karkat has taken it upon himself to know about romance so he learns about troll romance too! REGULUSRAIN said: It would be interesting if human Karkat was very good at putting his feelings onto quadrants (unlike troll Karkat who is bad at that!!) while he’s bad at human romance because why would things be easy for him? hahahaha REGULUSRAIN said: Yeah! :D

#my aus #swapped #dirkkat #brobot

[nora-reads-homestuck]

Nora Reads HS Part 66

Pages 6056-6093

Hey guys! Things got busy busy busy with work and the holidays, but like Slim Shady, I am back. Last time we got brief introductions to Jane and Jake, the post-Scratch young Nanna and Grandpa, respectively, and it was interesting to see how the modern setting meshed with their old-timey dialogic idiosyncrasies. I’m very much looking forward to (hopefully!) meeting young Mom and Bro this time around and learning what they’re like. So far all I know for certain is that Bro is as elusive as his pre-Scratch counterpart, and Mom and Jane are, like, BFFsies or something. I feel like we’ve gotten some minor sneak peeks into their personalities after seeing adult!Mom’s pink, girly bedroom in the Skaianet lab, and... oh god... from Bro’s awful comics. How will these quirks translate into fully-fleshed teenagers, and just how fucked up will young Bro be?

Let’s find out! ^0^

*click*

Jane: Answer Lalonde.

OH MY GOD SHE IS SO FUCKING CUTE. We are 2/2 on post-Scratch girls being GODDAMNED ADORABLE. I love her little pink phone, and her mutant kitty symbol, and her hair curlicue, and her tights under her skirt (are those leg warmers?), and her... martini?? Ok, so, these kids are still kids, right? If this is November 2011 and Jane’s thirteenth birthday was 3 years ago, then young Mom should only be just about to turn seventeen. Adult Mom obviously had a habitual hankering for hooch, but it’s weird and kind of worrying to see that carry over into her teenage self. Anyway, let’s see what she’s got to say!

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:24

Huh, so she’s got Dave’s pesterchum initials, and not Rose’s. Come to think of it, Jane has Jade’s initials, and not John’s. So then I guess I’d expect Bro to have Rose’s initials... which is odd. Anyway, her handle seems to confirm that she’s a drunk-o teen (where is Rose during all this??), and may possibly be awake on Derse, even if, like Dave, she doesn’t know it.

TG: jane

PINK TEXT AAAAAH CUTE

TG: hey TG: jaaaney TG: ansrew plz TG: *answer TG: jaaaaaaaaaane GG: Omg.

JESUS, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. So like... she not only has Dave’s initials, but she fucking talks like him??? And is apparently legit drunk during the day. Like I said, that bit is concerning, but I admit it is fucking hilarious that she talks and acts nothing like Rose. No wonder the poor kid had such a hard time understanding her.

GG: Overreact much? I kept you waiting for all of two seconds! GG: Where have you been today? TG: nowhere just chilling here TG: when all of the sudden GG: "All of a sudden." TG: when all of the sudden

Hahaha, I know someone who consistently says ‘all of the sudden’, and it hurts me not to correct them all the time. (They also say ‘yield’ instead of ‘wield’, and how could you ever think ‘unyieldy’ was a word.) And let it not go unremarked upon that I fucking LOVE that Mom just repeated herself anyway. Didn’t Dave do that once or twice when someone tried to correct him?

TG: it hits me TG: thaf we have somethig really fuckin important to talk about GG: This hit you just now? We made plans to get in touch early this morning, and I have seen neither hide nor hair of you all day. TG: it hits me that TG: jakes bday is coming up really soon TG: just a few days before mine remembr

Hmm, so their birthdays are the same as their pre-Scratch counterparts. Also, heh, I get the feeling that Jake’s birthday was definitely not what they’d made plans to talk about.

TG: or i guess it would be if it wasnt for the end of the world thats about to happen GG: Oh, for Pete's sake.

Whoa whoa whoa!! So Mom knows enough about the game to know that it’s going to end the world. Not even Jade, with her ‘precognitive’ abilities, knew that ahead of time. Hell, Aradia only knew because she was in communication with ghosts, and Sollux didn’t figure it out until right before it happened. I guess that’s where the ‘gnostalgic’ comes in. (Side note: that’s a really clever portmanteau and I’m almost jealous I didn’t think of it.)

TG: i just wanted your advice on what to get him TG: something sentimental i guess? but i mean im mostly tapped out of precious heirlooms atm so idk TG: but not like anything coming on too strong TG: something that says TG: this is totes platonic and everything TG: no eyebrow raising funnybiz is goin on over here TG: but still says you know TG: call me TG: if you wanna

...Aaaaaand Mom has the hots for Jake, apparently. Huh, that’s kind of fucked up in a way, considering her adult self hooked up with John’s Dad. Oh god, that pairing isn’t going to carry over to her liking Jane’s Dad, is it??

I wonder how difficult it was for Hussie to type out ‘totes’.

GG: Grrr. GG: Now I know you're joking around to get my goat.

To get it, and then, say, tote it?

TG: ahaha TG: yeah TG: the goat getting thing i mean TG: but joking oh no i think not TG: u dont think that if i didnt say he was off limits on account of you being my best friend TG: i wouldnt be all the hell over that????

So... Jane and Jake are already dating?? I guess that is the prescribed ‘canon’ pairing, so that makes sense. Does Mom LittleLonde—that’s what she’ll be from now on—also have the hots for young Bro then? Or maybe she just wants to bone everything/everyone. I can feel that.

TG: daaaaamn TG: that rugged senseof adventure TG: the delightful silly vernacular thats like TG: weirdly and bewitchingly not self aware TG: those adorbable teeth TG: swoooooooooon <3

Yes, those are definitely all swoonworthy things. ...Hah, I can totally deal with ‘adorabable’. It’s weird, but after reading all the trolls’ quirks, I kind of skip over the typos unless she calls them out herself.

GG: Nooooo, stop. :( TG: well shit jane TG: what am i even supposed to do TG: i cant hit on anybody and appaprently i can entertain nary a frisky THOUGHT about anyboby because apparentley evrybodies OFF LIMITS!!!!! TG: *buncha goddamn typos TG: shit suuucks TG: you dont even let me say your dad is hot even though we both know he way the fuck is i mean come one TG: *one TG: *on GG: Yeah. Because it's weird!

OH MY GOD I FUCKING LOVE HER. I mean yeah, it is pretty damn weird that she’s still got... daddy issues... but, ‘*buncha goddamn typos’?? Anybody would be lucky to have her.

...Huh. Now that I’m thinking about it, is Jane’s Dad exactly the same as John’s Dad? They look the same, but... how would that even work? Maybe he was adopted, and isn’t actually related to John and Jane at all, so his existence and physical appearance aren’t contingent upon anything game-related?

GG: And you're drunk. :P TG: correction TG: drinking TG: prensent tense TG: grammar jane

GG: I don't see why you don't try to court the favor of Mr. Strider. If you ask me, he and you are perfect for each other.

Again, a ‘canon’ pairing getting called out. Are they going to be played straight, or hilariously subverted like Karkat’s shipping grid?

TG: oh jane TG: so naive

Silly Jane; he’s clearly only into plush rump. *shudder*

TG: soooo niaev GG: Lordy. GG: How can you be this far gone so early? GG: It isn't even noon yet.

Yes, that is a very good question. Weirdly, I’m glad that this is at least getting called out; if her being drunk were played just for laughs, it might have been a bit distasteful. Addiction is an issue I’m rather painfully familiar with. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out, if it does.

TG: you forget we live in very different time zones TG: its a lot later here GG: You're three hours ahead of me! TG: youd would be amazed TG: how much can happen TG: in 3 hours

She’s not like... already entering the game, is she? And she does still live in New York, right?

GG: Tsk. What would your mother have to say if she caught you? TG: p sure she wouldnt give a shit TG: i mean TG: shes the one who stocked thegod damn liquor cabinets in the firts place TG: i dont even think she ever had a drop in her life probably TG: so why else is she puttin it there it was like TG: a passive aggrassive dare for me TG: *aggressive TG: jut the sort of mind game she would play

HOLY SHIT, what is going on here?? I’m a bit surprised that LittleLonde would have the same contentious relationship with her ‘Mom’ that Rose did, given their wildly different personalities and LittleLonde’s cheeriness so far. But she has a good point; if Rose doesn’t drink, then is the liquor cabinet just... some sort of test she’s putting LittleLonde through, and refusing to step in when she fails it? That’s fucked up.

GG: So even if your insane and paranoid theory happens to be true, your response is, "Screw it! Time to help myself to all this mind game booze." TG: yuuuuuuuuuuuup TG: pppp mcuh

Yeah, stick it to the Man. :\

GG: Groan. You are completely impossible like this. GG: I cannot believe you chose to do this today of all days. I should have known better! GG: Here I am waking up bright and early, waiting all day with my nose pressed against this glass for the mail to come and wondering if you'll ever log on, and all the while you are just getting blind stinking schnocker-bottomed drunk.

*steals ‘schnocker-bottomed’ for my own vocabulary*

TG: watcha waiting for TG: in the mail TG: is something happening today or something GG: &%#$@!!! GG: The alpha! GG: Jeez-Louise, you are hopeless. TG: oh yeah TG: that thing

Ahahahaha. I can’t fucking get over how adorable it is that she’s basically cutesy girl!Dave when it comes to being slightly ditzy and forgetful. And NO, Chrome; you are not going to autocorrect ‘ditzy’ to ‘ditsy’, that’s dumb.

GG: Are you at all ready to play if it comes? TG: i guess TG: but TG: you sure you even want to play this thing TG: u know its just what the batterwitch wants you to do GG: Not this again. 

WOW, WELP. 8|

So it looks like LittleLonde knows exactly what’s going on, and knows that the Batterwitch intends to interfere somehow with the new Sburb session. That’s an interesting twist, having a drunk oracle who no one will take seriously because she’s ””schnocker-bottomed””.

TG: if you want to go ahead and be a chump jane its ur call im just saying TG: i know what a chump looks like TG: and you dont look like no chump i ever saw TG: if you go thru with this ill have to add your porfile to my chump roll

Heh heh. (AAH THAT PAGE QUOTE.)

GG: The "Batterwitch" DOES NOT EXIST! GG: It is an idiotic urban legend. GG: How many times have I explained this? My great, great grandmother who founded the company and is accused of holding this identity would have to be almost two hundred years old if she were still alive today. The idea is such preposterous hogwash it's hardly worth dignifying with a rational response.

[Insert obligatory “It’s more likely than you think.”] Gosh, I can foresee her refusal to believe what’s going on being frustrating later down the line.

GG: The iconic face of the company isn't even a real person! She was fabricated long ago during the company's fledgling years.

BECAUSE THE REAL FOUNDER WAS AN ALIEN, DUNKASS. ...Yep, already a bit frustrating. We’re not at Wheel of Time levels of miscommunication/trust issues yet, though.

TG: right TG: as TG: you know TG: an alter ego TG: for somethig more sinister GG: Such cuckoobird nonsense.

AAUUUGHH, no fucking wonder LittleLonde drinks.

GG: Have you even obtained your copy yet?? TG: um TG: heh TG: yes "obtianed" TG: suuure did GG: Through your various technologically crypotgraphic means, I presume? TG: oh you bet TG: hacked the SHIT out of those TIGHT mainframes and all TG: said jackpot like TG: a BUNCH of times TG: all those TG: cyhpers and bobbytraps TG: backdoor trojans and what not TG: were no match TG: 4 mai codez TG: snicker GG: :|

Jesus, this sounds like Dave trying to talk about sports. Or, Hackers. Does LittleLonde actually know what she’s talking about?

GG: I am quizzically narrowing my eyes trying to solve the joke you are attempting, assuming it even is one. TG: ok jane what im saying is that TG: in the parlance of baking cause i know that is what gets you off TG: is that TG: it was a fuckin cakewake TG: **cakewalk GG: Oh.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I LOVE THIS GIRL.

TG: like by wich i mean not to say hur hur im hottest shit haxxor bitch you ever knew TG: as deadlay to the corporate grid ass she is beatuiful TG: which i AM but TG: what i mean is shit wasnt even guarded TG: it was just TG: some files TG: that were there TG: unsecured TG: and i took them TG: jacked them right offa that intraweb telematrice TG: then applied lipstick TG: femme fatale style TG: and was like shit yes i ALL KINDS of know how to use my web browser to download serveral files

I’M FUCKIN’ WEEPING

GG: Hrm. That is a bit puzzling. I thought this software was highly proprietary. TG: i told you TG: she wants you to play TG: wants us all to TG: part of her BIG PLANS TG: and ur playing right into em TG: like TG: a TG: chhhhhhhhhhhhh....

...ode?

Anyway, this would seem to lend credence to the idea that the Batterwitch is Earth’s new First Guardian, pulling the strings from behind the scenes the way Doc Scratch did with the trolls in order to further her employer’s designs.

GG: Ump, yes, I know. You've made yourself clear.

Dammit.

GG: But what doesn't add up about your story is, GG: I believe SOMEBODY doesn't want me to play. GG: How else do you explain the recent attempts on my life?

Whoa, what? Like, assassination attempts, because she’s the heir to Betty Crocker? Looks like LittleLonde might not be the only one who understands that there is something very... fishy going on.

TG: orrrr TG: its just more connivings of the witch GG: So this hypothetical monstrosity wants me to succeed, but also wants me to die? GG: Makes a lot of sense! TG: wouldnt put it past her TG: makes you feel perpsecuted TG: redoubles your determination to play TG: u advance her plans in whatever incomprehensible way TG: until suddenly you did evrything she needed you to TG: at which point you become craaaaazy expendable yo TG: and then TG: she expends you TG: like a wad of boondollars on shitty bc merch

Seems a bit more convoluted than Doc Scratch’s approach, if such a thing were even possible. ...On second thought, no, literally nothing could be more convoluted than Doc Scratch. Maybe it’s not convoluted, per se, and more just really, really bad planning.

GG: I see. This is sounding less like a crackpot conspiracy theory by the minute! TG: w/e alls im saying is a bunch of stuff thats def true to the max

I know it would break with the naming scheme, but could LittleLonde be named Cassie? Or just Cass? That would fit.

TG: my drunk butts tune will stay as unchanged as it will remain un not drunk

Spoiler: she farts in F#.

TG: makr my barley corerent words

She’s self-aware, if nothing else. Does she drink beer?

GG: If years ago someone told me, which incidentally someone DID, that today I would have an exclusive opportunity to play what is absolutely the most cutting edge immersive simulation game ever released, developed by a company which has already done so much for the advancement of humanity, I would have said, "Shucks, buster, sign me up!"

Uh, well, who told her years go? Was it LittleLonde?? Because you’d think that would lend some credence to her claims, but noooOOoooo.

TG: jane GG: Yes? TG: jaaaane GG: What! TG: jane TG: did u know TG: that i am uttrely TG: IN LOVE TG: with the fact that TG: i have a best friend TG: who says things TG: like TG: shucks buster

littlelonde did u know that i am uttrely IN LOVE with u????

GG: Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... TG: wtf GG: The thing. GG: The flappy thing!

The little red arm-swingy-dealy! (Btw it’s called a semaphore. Also that took me a second to cotton on to and at first I had this image of Flappy Bird??)

GG: THE FLAPPY SWINGY DOODAD. GG: THE ARM DEALIE. GG: THE DEALIE, LALONDE, THE DEALIE!!! TG: wut

<3 <3 <3

GG: IT'S UP, IT'S UP, IT'S UP. TG: i dont get a lotta mail out here and im no mail expret TG: *expert TG: but TG: doesnt that mean not the right thing TG: like ur susposed to put it up if you want something taken away not have the guy put it up if mail comes TG: i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass

Or your author; one of the two. :P

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

But wait, perhaps that is not so much the distinguished Inspector Clouseau as it is...

‘really fucking stupid’? That’s my guess.

THE WORLD RENOWNED INVESTIGATOR HERCULE POIROT, BECAUSE THE LITTLE CURLY MUSTACHE IS A LOT CUTER.

DAMMIT.

The great Poirot, in THIS house?? Such an honor. I will set the kettle to boil straightaway. Who would have guessed this home would be so heavily trafficked by famous French detectives at this time of day?

Followed by Dupin and Lecoq?

...Aaaaand it’s another character select! This seems to follow the pattern of the mess of photographs from Act 5; I click on characters one by one, then when I’m done, I click the link at the bottom of the page and move on. Hmm, hovering over LittleLonde and Bro shows location markers I can’t click, but which confirm they live in New York and Texas like their counterparts. Also, I realized that we’re continuing the trend of the post-Scratch kids’ color themes matching their pre-Scratch counterparts’ sprites. That means Bro will be typing in orange, most likely.

Back to Jake!

And just like that, back to Jake. What was it you were up to? Oh right, you were going to pick these dang guns up off the floor when you were interrupted by some fleeting imperceptible thought. You kind of space out sometimes.

For some reason the word ‘dang’ is inherently hilarious to me, especially when paired with ‘ol’. I have a friend who says “dang ol’ ___” all the time, and it cracks me the fuck up.

What’s up with all the vines, btw? No timeline shenanigans to steal Jade’s pumpkins?

You pick up your TWIN M9 BERETTAS, weapons of choice in an absurd arsenal inherited from an eccentric old woman. Guns are so cool. Your GRANDMA was rad.

So Jade is dead, just like John. Booo. :’(

It's your authentic TOMB RAIDER SEXY THIGHSTRAP DOUBLE HOLSTER, complete with cool skullbuckle and everything. You like to think you pull it off about as well as Croft herself.

Uh, well, alright then. Nothing wrong with that.

You like to think that, but in truth you look ridiculous. You think you probably need shorter shorts to make it work? Probably skin tight shorts too. As it is, the cuffs of your baggy shorts get kind of bunched up underneath the thighstraps, which is uncomfortable and makes you look like a tool.

BAHAHAHAHA. Now, if Heero Yuy had tried to wear it...

> Jake: Examine bed.

Ooh, yes, this ought to be interesting. What’s up with his sheets?

You think your bed is some sort of electronic gadget. You're pretty sure those bedpost globes are supposed to glow like light bulbs under certain circumstances. But you've never been able to figure out what purpose it serves. Just more mysterious junk inherited from your eclectic GRANDMA.

HOLY SHIT, IS IT A QUEST BED??? Did she like... expect him to get killed before the game even started?? What would it do if he died on it outside the Incipisphere?

Movies are so great. You have never seen a movie you didn't like, you are pretty sure. People give you a hard time for that though. Gosh you love movies. Almost as much as you love skulls. And movies that have skulls in them? Oh my god.

Well then I bet he REALLY would have dug the fourth Indiana Jones movie that mercifully died in pre-production because the concept was so stupid.

Jake: Scope out those blue chicks.

You are oft-times the recipient of a good ribbing from Jane on account of your peculiar fascination with blue movie ladies. You don't have to justify yourself to her though. What is even her deal? Any fella would be off his ROCKER not to fawn over all these BODACIOUS BLUE KNOCKOUTS. You want to make out with all of them.

Well, Jane is a girl, and she’s sort of blue-themed... Not to mention she’s, like, canonically destined to end up with him.

I’m not sure whether that’s more or less respectable than John trying to kiss his Nic Cage poster.

Dear, sweet Neytiri from James Cameron's Avatar. Oh, if only you were the one who could have overcome his paralysis on an alien adventure planet to become her boyfriend, instead of that other guy.

Incidentally also named Jake, IIRC.

Then she could have shown you how to be bold and courageous, and stand up to fight for your people, and maybe later, engage in a bizarre extraterrestrial reproductive process involving ponytails, and a magical tree you guess?

Wait a second... a Page who imagines himself as a paralyzed guy on an adventure planet, who wants to learn from a blue chick to be bold and courageous, and then engage in a bizarre extraterrestrial reproductive process??

wHY DOES THIS SOUND, fAMILIAR,

:::;)

You'll show that curmudgeonly Strider who's just a gigantic shitty space furry.

PAHAHA. So young Bro is curmudgeonly, and has a vocabulary similar to Dave’s. I don’t doubt Hussie’s skill, but I’m still REALLY interested to see how Dave’s Bro is going to be transformed into an actual character, with like... feelings and stuff.

You will show him what marvelous creatures they are. You'll show him what a daring dream it is, to combine the finest qualities of humanity with...

Oh no, not this again

She says you sound just like John when you say stuff like that though, and that the two of you would get along famously. You can't wait to meet him.

THEY WAIT. I can’t wait until they meet either! I know that Act 6 is broken into many “”sub acts”” and I wonder how long we’re going to beat around the bush before the meetup happens.

Also there are some Cage flicks there. But who doesn't love a good Cage flick? Nobody is who. Dang, you would kill to get your hands on some authentic Cage movie memorabilia. But that'll probably have to remain a crazy dream.

Did... did he not realize before he sent Jane the bunny... :|a

AND HE EVEN STILL HAS ONE. Wait, how the hell did he get two bunnies??

The TRANSMATERIALIZER you have been using to ship it back and forth is wired to sync up your flow of time with hers, so it's not like you can just take forever with it, and send to the exact time she needs it - you've thought of that!

I don’t think this is happening exactly the way you’re imagining... Granted I don’t think anybody could have accurately guessed at what was really happening without copious hints.

Sure is gonna be a sweet gift. Reminds you a lot of the old ratty bunny you inherited from your GRANDMA, who of course is exactly who you are collaborating with to make this thing. Time loops make you feel a bit fuzzy in the head, but you've always suspected it could very well be the same bunny.

Phew, so he’s not a total numskull. That’s good.

At some point in the early 20th century, Jade gave this robo-rabbit to John, and then later it must have been wound up back with Jade... somehow? Then she... uh... removed all the robot parts, hung on to it until she was an old woman, and gave it to you?

Seems legit.

Jade tells you this little rabbit here, or Terry Kiser as you like to call him, will save John's life!

Terry... Kiser... fuck, I’m fucking dead. Creatures/objects having different names between kids is one of my favorite running jokes. Meowgon Spengler, or Vodka Mutini? Dear, sweet Casey, or Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer?

In fact, this project gave you a neat idea for what to do for Jane's 13th birthday a couple years ago. You and your other pals all coordinated gifts, each sending a customized rabbit. Lalonde happened to have another bunny heirloom like yours, and Strider... well, Strider was resourceful as usual.

OH LAWD, I don’t think I’m ready for the smubbit.

If John enjoys his gift anywhere near as much as Jane did, then it will be time well spent.

Which is to say, he’ll appreciate the thought but ultimately feel pretty ambivalent about it?

You have been plundering all of your devices for uranium to refuel the TRANSMATERIALIZER, which requires huge amounts of power any time it sendificates or appearifies the package from the past. Seems to you like excessive energy consumption for just a simple time machine, but what do you know? Unless it's doing something besides shipping it across time. You couldn't imagine what, though.

Ok, but even time travel requires 1.21 gigawatts, and that’s nothing to sniff at. ...Never mind, actually I looked it up and 1.21 gigawatts isn’t even all that hard to produce!

As much as it troubles your pride to admit, this project wouldn't be possible without help from your other two technologically savvy friends. And you are slowly coming to the regrettable conclusion that you will not be able to solve this uranium dilemma without asking for Strider's assistance. He's your best bro and all, but the dude never makes anything easy.

...Uh, what the hell does Bro know about... And how the hell would he get his hands on uranium?? Hm.

Hah, that’s pretty cool! It’s like tile Tetris.

You stash Terry in your PUZZLE MODUS. It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris.

Heh heh.

The space in your inventory is mainly hogged up by one incredibly huge thing. You guess you should get rid of it. But you can't shake the feeling you might need it someday, and you don't want to risk ditching it and be caught with your pants down later.

WHOA HOLY SHIT. What the hell is it?? And what do you want to bet that he’ll accidentally deploy it early, or lose it or something? ...Is it a giant matriorb?

Hmm, lots of Knight references over in this corner. Something to do with Dave or Karkat? I’m guessing Bro isn’t going to be a Knight if none of the other kids share classpects with their counterparts.

On your worktable there are a few comic books starring your favorite heroine of all, SPIDER-GIRL. You don't know what it is, but there's something about a girl who has spidery powers and a sassy attitude that is just so cool to you. It's just another quirky fact about you that definitely doesn't have any greater significance, and never will.

Oh GAWD. Is he going to end up with a similar arc to Tavros? Run into Vriska in a dream bubble and become the new Pupa Pan?

Well, as long as one of your preposterously numerous computers has spilled out of your sylladex, you might as well stop procrastinating and contact Strider to... hang on. Maybe later.

AAAAAH IT’S MYSTERY TROLL! Let’s see what she has to say! Normally I’d be miffed about missing out on kidchat, but this is fine. Also, troll computer!

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering golgothasTerror [GT] at 5:45

...Did I completely skip over his chumhandle last time?? Golgatha is the hill on which Jesus was crucified, and literally means ‘place of the skull’.

UU: hello there, darling. ~3u

It took about half a minute and a lot of head tilting to realize this is supposed to be a winking kissy face. UGH she’s super cute. I do still wonder who she’s supposed to be, because Karkat’s ancestor was almost certainly not female, if my understanding of the Scratch is correct.

GT: Im determined as ever to see this through. But as usual events have conspired to make a boondoggle of the prospect. GT: I think i might be fucked.

Hah. I love the curses thrown into his otherwise ridiculous anachronistic patter.

GT: Terry needs fuel and i dont have any left. I think im at striders dubious mercy for a solution YET AGAIN. GT: I will have to ask him for help. And soon.

I still don’t understand how Bro is supposed to help! Is Dave like... a nuclear scientist in this universe, in addition to making a SBaHJ movie?

UU: i relayed the information enabling yoU to create the powerfUl weaponry yoUrself. UU: and yoU did! UU: yoU then sent them back in time. yoU may recover them in the rUins, which conveniently is where yoU mUst go to ship the package once and for all. UU: bangUp plan we hatched, dont yoU fancy? ^u^ GT: I see...

So... he makes the weapons after he enters the game, when he has access to the punch designix and the alchemiter, and then sends them back in the lotus pod? Interesting.

Gosh, she sure uses a lot of British slang, in addition to Commonwealth spellings. Is there a Troll England?

GT: That is what im doing right? Giving it to my grandma when she was a kid growing up on the same island i did? UU: that is somewhat close to the trUth, and i can see how yoU woUld draw that conclUsion.

This sounds like Hussie’s non-sarcastic stock response to wacky fan theories.

UU: perhaps a draft of the cascading seqUence from which yoUr reality has arisen will pUt yoUr mind at ease. UU: imagine two Universes, A and B. UU: now imagine there are two instances of each Universe, A1 and A2 and B1 and B2. UU: the first instance of each is like a test rUn, that does not qUite sUcceed. UU: the second instance thoUgh will meet all of its pUrposes! UU: now consider that A1 begets A2. UU: A2 begets B1. UU: and B1 begets B2. UU: and the participants of B2 are the ones who will make an effort to exit all this tUrbUlence and falderal.

That’s... actually reasonably straightforward and concise. So the troll universe we’re familiar with is A2, and the original human kids’ is B1. Even though A2 didn’t quite finish the way it was supposed to, its players, along with B1′s, will all gather in the successful B2.

Also, now the flash title ‘Cascade’ makes a lot more sense!

UU: and yoUr yoUng ancestor is another, thoUgh she is "presently" stationed in B1. UU: and yes she is in the past. UU: thoUgh not qUite as far as yoU believe!

Just under 3 years, by my count... So all of this collaboration between them happened before the game, and technically if he were able to talk to Jade right at this very moment, it would be a ‘past’ Jade from our perspective!

GT: I remember you mentioned your race doesnt really jive with ours familially speaking? UU: correct. i never knew those who one woUld identify as my parental eqUivalents. U_U

I don’t suppose the Mother Grub really counts as a ‘mom’ in anything approaching the human sense.

GT: When do i get to learn your name by the way? UU: hm trUthfUlly? UU: it may be for the best that yoU never know it. UU: it coUld stir Up some things best left in their present eqUilibriUm.

Kar...katina? I wonder what the deal is. Is it a whole ‘names have power’ kind of thing?

GT: Just please tell me in the least causally spoilery way possible... GT: What are we even trying to accomplish here? What is even the rootin tootin POINT of this game? UU: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt. UU: bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it, UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods.

And after that, it’s finally answering The Ultimate Riddle!

UGH WHY DOES HE HAVE A WHOLE COSPLAY’S WORTH OF LORD ENGLISH SHIT?? D:

You've been taught you should really carry no less than 5 computers on you at all times, like a sensible person.

Teehee, yeah, that’s Jade.

These were also inherited from your grandma.

But why would...

In addition to being quite the globe trotting adventuress, she was rather enterprising as well. Her company made many products like this, to compete with the corporation owned by the cruel baroness who raised her. Sadly, BCCorp eventually crushed her company and forced her into exile.

So not only did she name Jake ‘English’ (if she didn’t take the name herself), but she also manufactured Lord English-themed apparel... to compete with BCCorp?? But Lord English is HIC’s employer. How does that even work??

You have always hoped that when Jane takes over that foul conglomerate, she will right all of its unspeakable wrongs. You know she will! You believe in her, after all.

How very Page of Hope. I’m guessing his arc is going to combine some of Tavros’s Page struggles with Eridan’s lack of Hope. But since this universe is supposed to be the culmination of everything, the universe where everything finally plays out right, hopefully (hah) Jake will be more successful than either of those two. He doesn’t seem particularly shy or inept so far, nor is he a giant bag of dicks, so maybe he’s got the best of those two characters with none of their flaws.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, BRO’S SYMBOL IS A HAT. HOW FUCKING DOUCHEY CAN YOU GET. HE IS LITERALLY GAME BRO JESUS CHRIST.

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 5:57

Timaeus...? That’s familiar. *looks it up* Ah! We read Plato’s Timaeus in Philosophy; that’s why. I don’t remember much about it, but according to Wikipedia, it’s mostly hilariously inaccurate theories about the elemental geometric shapes the universe is made of, and there’s some stuff about the creation of the earth, the golden ratio, and Atlantis. Pretty appropriate for a Sburb player, I guess. If there’s any deeper meaning, I suspect I’ll only find out after I’ve been fed more information.

GT: Bro. GT: Ahem. GT: Are you there? GT: I hate to be a pest about this and i know ive made a hearty trouble of myself a good deal lately... TT: State your business, Jake.

OH MY GOD, HE TYPES LIKE ROSE. Like... for some reason I kind of fuckin’ love that??

GT: I should preface this request with an overture of appreciation. GT: For how much your cool and brotherly friendship means to me.

Brown-nose harder, Jake. I don’t think your face is satisfactorily wedged into his plush rump.

GT: It has just been... GT: Absolutely *bully* having a standup gent like you in my corner. GT: Just a grade a dude whos a cut above the others in class and camaraderie. GT: Phew... *gropes for fresh kerchief.* GT: I hope this shit isnt coming across as platitudinous. I really mean it!

Suuuuuure you do. No sarcasm there!

TT: Take it easy, bromide. TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible.

...Huh. Hmmm. I... Hm. Well, that certainly is a thing that just got said. Gosh, him talking like Rose was so unexpected! I’m not sure what to make of it.

TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided,

One-sided on whose part? And... shit, does that mean everybody wants to smang it with Jake? Or is he saying that Jake gets flustered and hits on him?

TT: That leaves only one hope for this message to avoid spiraling toward qualification as a critical fucking defect in the hull of the Mach 10 rocket that is my precious spare time. TT: And that hope lies in the extent to which you were practicing artful insincerity. TT: Now's your opportunity to pretend that's what you were gunning for. I suggest you seize it.

*GROOOOOAN* Not this irony horseshit again!!

GT: I... GT: Oh. Yes! But of course. GT: The ironies! GT: Good grief how i was bandying them just now. You know me dude.

Pfffft.

GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.* GT: *NONSUGGESTIVELY!!!!!* GT: Um. GT: Yeah.

So I guess it was one-sided on Bro’s part, and he’s a creepy lech in every universe! Yaaaaay.

TT: Ok, nice. TT: Now that your obsequious preface has been established as indisputably entertaining for all the right reasons, and intentionally so, TT: Let's bear down on these dire as shit needs you've got.

Urgh, I really do want to hate him, but I also like the way he talks. If he really is sort of a combo of Rose and Dave, some of my favorite characters, then I don’t know... Maybe he’ll grow on me.

TT: I'm guessing you're probably jonesing for uranium about now. No? GT: Pshaw! As if i would be so reckless with the stuff. GT: I would have to be mighty irresponsible to run out already. GT: No no im all set in the uranium department and really when you take a look at the big picture youll find i am *sitting pretty* when it comes to just about any radioactive isotope you could mention. GT: However... GT: My backup reserves that i keep strictly for emergencies are running a little lean! GT: You know what my grandma taught me about preparedness. *Tugs at colorful lapels.* TT: You are out of uranium. TT: It's basically mathematically impossible that's not why you're contacting me.

Ok, now I’m REALLY wondering how young Bro is meant to get Jake some uranium. Clearly he’s way smarter than I was prepared to give him credit for, and than his pre-Scratch counterpart implies, but still.

GT: Christ what an insufferable awesome friend you are.

Pffffahahaha.

GT: Ok can you please just sendificate me some more already?? Im in kind of a hurry! TT: You do know my offer still stands. GT: What?

It’s blowjobs for uranium, isn’t it.

TT: You know. I've offered to construct the rabbit for you many times before. I would craft a much deadlier model.

Oh. Oh GOD. So, he’s taken his interest in puppets, turned it up to eleven, and he builds robots?? Do they also have giant asses?

GT: Damn it man ive told you this is just something i have to do myself. GT: Its a promise i made to jade and im going to live up to it even if im not the best or even second best robosmith i know!

I guess the other robosmith is Jade. But is it his Grandma Jade, or is it the young, B1 Jade he’s in communication with?

TT: Yeah, I know this is your policy. You've done a good job and you should be proud. TT: But it's my responsibility as your friend to offer one last time.

Huh, that’s kind of nice of him.

TT: Just as it's my responsibility not to just fork over a bunch of uranium just because you ask me in a moment of weakness.

...Aaaaaand there we go. Is it weird that I’m getting a Sollux-ish kind of vibe from this guy? Like, he’s got a heart in there somewhere, but is super prickly 95% of the time. Maybe he’s like a durian: thick, spiky outer shell, squishy innards, and smells like a dirty diaper!

GT: Frig!!!!! GT: Why not??? TT: It's too easy. TT: And you yourself are the one staking pride in this. TT: If you were half-assing this project and made some slovenly plea for it, I'd just say, fuck it, here's a lot of green rocks dude, go nuts. GT: Ok then! Im halfassing it! GT: Look. See? Only a bisected bottom is present! Where is the other half you ask? GT: Why... it is nowhere to be found. I didnt use it! TT: Nope. Not buying it.

HAH. Yes, Bro is frustratingly shitty so far, but I admit I am enjoying this a little.

TT: I know that every ounce of your premium behind can be accounted for in that rabbit, and there's no goddamned denying it.

So he’s an ass man; who’d’ve thunk it.

TT: And you know perfectly well where some more uranium can be located. GT: Jesus christmas you are such a fucking douche.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Though, where, exactly?

GT: I knew you were going to suggest this. I dont know why i bothered asking! GT: Strider why must you always be such an obstinate stick in the mud??? TT: It seems that you consider me to be, no less than one hundred percent of the time, an obstinate stick in the mud. TT: I unironically respect your position on this matter. Hey, let's continue to exchange ideas. GT: Wait... GT: "It seems"??

...Eh? *looks back*

TT: It seems you think I am a fucking douche. TT: That's your opinion, I guess. That's cool.

I guess that is kind of a strange expression to use, especially twice within a very short span of time.

TT: What? GT: Oh for fucks sake. TT: Is something the matter, Jake? GT: This is your auto responder.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, the “”auto responder”” is a goddamn robot, isn’t it.

WHOA WHAT?? Ok, so it’s not a robot. It is... apparently... the Squirtle Squad shades, which young Bro still has. So it’s like Dave’s iShades, I guess, with a computer built into them? Anyway, it looks like we’re in the Strider apartment’s bathroom, which is architecturally identical to the original, same way as the other kids’ houses. Only now there’s robot!puppet shit lying around, and a dumb hat shirt hung on the wall. Where’s Bro himself?

TT: Look at that statement you just made.  TT: It's time for me to respond with some words, ideally chosen and arranged in a way that will wreck your shit, in a subtle and psychologically devastating way.

Jesus CHRIST. He’s Rose, only with the intent to psychologically damage people instead of just analyzing them. I didn’t even consider how fucking dangerous that could be. Er, well, at least his auto responder seems to act that way.

GT: Har har har! GT: Just soooo "*irooooonic*!!!" Quotes quotes quotes. GT: Im laughing my caboose STRAIGHT OFF THE TRACKS! A lot of families just died in the tragic derailment. TT: Ok, the caboose remark was actually pretty funny, Jake.

DAMMIT, I JUST SPIT WATER EVERYWHERE. What a Hussie thing to say.

TT: If I truly were what you say I am, I wouldn't be able to feel the human emotions of joy and laughter. No? GT: Laughter isnt an emotion dickprince!

Not to mention you just called them ‘human emotions’ like a troll!

TT: I think you should back your claims up with proof before you go heaving around such accusations. GT: Man its so flipping obvious. GT: You start getting kind of extra technical and vague and automoton like. GT: And kind of aloof and brusque. GT: I mean... GT: Even aloofier and brusquier than usual! GT: Also you use the phrase "it seems" a lot. Its so silly it really blows the AI immersion man.

So basically the auto responder is Bro’s actual personality dialed up to eleven? Yeah, I’m totally getting ‘extra douchey’ Sollux vibes from all of this.

TT: Bullshit. TT: I'm being like, the perfect dude right now. A fully fucking legitimate human being. GT: Ok then check this out mr legit human dude. GT: Excuse me sir not to be a bother but could you please tell me all about this strider fellows auto responder? TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.

AHAHAHAHAHA. Fuck, I think I actually kind of like this kid.

TT: Unimpressed. TT: Logical fallacies are as pervasive throughout your argument as your antiquated verbal tics. GT: Oh yeah? GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS

TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: Gee dude you sure typed that exact same thing pretty fast.

Not quite! I notice it was 96% indistinguishable last time.

GT: Are you still fucking with me?? TT: It could be a coincidence that I typed the same answer. GT: You always type that answer!!!!! TT: It could be a coincidence that I always type the same answer. GT: Uuuuuuugh.

Hah. Is the auto responder just a series of pre-programmed answers, or is it really legit fucking with Jake’s head here?

GT: I cant stand this. Every time we do this and i just wind up whistling sweet dixie out of my bum hole!

WHAT

THE

FUCK???

GT: This is pointless im not having this conversation unless its with my REAL LIFE FRIEND. THE ONE WITH HUMAN FEELINGS WHO ISNT A PRETEND PERSON INSIDE SUNGLASSES.

Hmm, so the auto responder really is contained inside the shades. How does that even work without all of Sburb’s alchemizing gear? Well, I guess if he can build robots, it’s not so much of a stretch...

Teeheeeeeeeee. <3

He's just so infuriating sometimes! Or at least his responder is. Ok, the real Strider is too.

Dave’s irony and rad slang combined with Rose’s psychological bullshit, infuriating?? WHAT A SURPRISE.

There's barely any difference between them anyway. The responder just uses a few more generic response templates. And even those you suspect the AI is savvy enough to use on purpose for the sake of irony, or to get a rise out of you or whatever. That silicon bastard knows damn well what it's doing.

Hah, well that answers that question I guess. Did it purposefully give itself away?

You shed this ridiculous outfit because you look like an idiot. It's time to get serious here. No more fooling around. You need a more dignified looking computer. A thinking man's computer.

Dad’s Bing Crosby laptop?

> Jake: Wear skulltop.

Sigh.

Much better. You look like you mean business. 

You look like a villainous tool!

GT: Jane! GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all. GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?

Ah yes, this conversation, continued previously.

GT: I really need to ask him something but hes got his blasted auto responder turned on. GG: Hoo hoo. GG: I love that thing. :B

Huh, I wonder what kind of conversations Jane and the responder have together. Jane doesn’t seem like the type to put up with too much bullshit.

Seriously, what is the deal with the vine? Also I thought that can said ‘Korn’ for a second and flipped out.

You are curious about Jane's dream. Sounds like it almost certainly has to do with your imminent adventure. You'll have to remember to get the scoop on that a little later.

RRUUAAARRRGH.

You have to go downstairs to check something out. You are pretty sure you know what you're going to find though.

Well, that’s mysterious, and a bit ominous.

You almost trip on the vine creeping up the stairs. Stupid vine. It's too bad your grandma's dead. She always had a way with keeping the flora in check.

Hmm. I’ve been talking about how all their houses are the same as the original kids’, but Jake’s is actually rather different. Did her garden get super out of control in this universe?

OH MY GOD IT IS PUMPKINS. And... is that a dreambot capsule?

Yeah, just like you thought. Empty. The thing is out there somewhere. Waiting for you. Oh god.

How can it be waiting for him if he’s awake? :|a

Speak of the devil fucking dickens.

Heh heh. Only, when he said it before, he didn’t put a space in it, and now I’m picturing Satan sticking it to Charles Dickens. So thanks for that image, Hussie.

TT: Hey, it's me. GT: Oh hey! TT: The auto-responder, I mean. GT: Dammit!

Wow, I actually kind of feel bad for the auto responder, if it’s at all sentient.

GT: Dammit! GT: What is it now? TT: I'm just wondering, TT: If you still have your stupid old-fangled knickers in a twist. TT: Because that's the sort of thing you would say. GT: In regard to what exactly? TT: To my proposal. Well, our proposal. GT: Whose proposal now? Man what are you even prattling about.

So I know I just read what the proposal actually is, but I had a half second of ‘YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED’ before I caught on.

TT: Mine and DS's. It's a joint proposal. I'm always authorized to speak on his behalf, because I'm basically fucking him. TT: And try not to take those last four words as a clustered literal sentiment. That would be lame and unfunny.

AHAHAHA BECAUSE I LITERALLY JUST DID THAT. Is that also a reference to the curiously spaced ‘devil fucking dickins’ above?

GT: You mean making the rabbit for me? TT: No, I know you don't want that. TT: I meant my recommendation for how to go about procuring a new supply of uranium. TT: Operation U-235 Brocurement. Codename: Big Man Hass the Rock.

Hahaha. So, we know that SBaHJ exists as a movie in this universe, but it seems the comics somehow also exist, unchanged enough that Bro/his auto responder can quote them.

GT: Oh yeah. GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Oh jeez. Did Bro like... modify the dream bot or something?? Otherwise why/how the hell would it be hunting him???

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. GT: I do! GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.

Pahahahaha.

GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win. TT: It seems you are conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat. TT: Any useless fuckwit knows it's all about the journey.

Ok, there’s a few things going on here. Some assumptions we can make:

This uranium-powered robot Jake is looking for is going to try and fight him, a la Equius’s robots.

This has happened before.

Jake generally loses.

Also, I noticed the auto responder said ‘it seems’ again. And finally, “conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat” and “it’s all about the journey” sound AWFULLY like Hussie imparting to us some meta commentary about Homestuck itself. I’ve tried to keep away from ending spoilers as much as possible, but I’ve kind of pieced together that reactions to the ending were mixed. Was he sneakily trying to head off any disappointment at the pass here, by reminding us how much we’ve loved what came before?

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake? GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! GT: And it seems there is a BILLION POINT BILLION percent chance that youre a shitty stubborn jerk of a program who wont listen to reason and that if theres even a 1% chance my REAL LIFE FRIEND would be cool and help me out here then i think i LIKE THOSE FREAKIN ODDS!!!!! TT: It... TT: Appears TT: That you are upset.

...If that thing isn’t at least somewhat sentient and intentionally fucking with him, I’ll eat my douchey orange hat.

TT: The auto-responder observed in the least artificially infuriating way possible.

Bahahaha. Yep, I stand by that.

TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

...Hmm. Well, I was under the impression that the responder was contained entirely in the shades, but maybe it’s just shades connected to a remote robot body? Also, I really don’t think Jake’s got it right. If the thing is capable of purposefully fucking with him for its own enjoyment, it probably really is capable of emotion, insofar as it was programmed to experience it. Then again, what and why would Bro program it to feel?

TT: I think you knowingly confuse the field of robotics and artificial intelligence to engender some sort of cavalier attitude about technology that a rough-and-tumble guy who's all about brawling and fisticuffs would probably have, and if this is cultivated to a humorous effect then I commend you.

Ohhh, I see. I could have just kept reading. So the responder really is contained within the glasses, and has specifically called itself an AI. This is cool; I love AI tropes! How did it get programmed? Does it resent the fact that it’s confined to a pair of shades? Does it follow Asimov’s laws? :D

TT: But you're wrong. TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks.

:(

GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case. TT: No problem.

‘I’m sorry if I offended you’? That’s a pretty cop-out apology, but the shades don’t seem to mind.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me...

Well, I mean, the program is technically intended to replace Bro when he’s unavailable to chat, though Jake has a point about it insisting on its false identity.

GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct... uh... THING from my buddy.

Not ‘person’ or ‘entity’? Damn, Jake, dass cold.

GT: Man where IS he anyway??? GT: Is he taking one of his legendary infinite showers? TT: What can I say. TT: Dude fancies his ablutions.

[INSERT MASTURBATION JOKE]

GT: Whatever i guess its time to prepare for the thrill of the hunt! TT: Fuck yes. GT: Sigh... GT: But seriously that brobot has been the bane of my existence ever since you sent it.

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Ok, so it’s NOT a dreambot; it is apparently some sort of... bro...bot that Bro sent him. Was it actually built for the express purpose of fucking with him?

AAAAAAH, ROBOT!! So either Bro really is in the shower, doing whatever (papping?), or else he’s actually a robot. I’m... guessing it’s the former. So who is this little guy? He’s wearing a hat like a tool, but he’s actually kinda cute. A sparring robot a la Equius?

TT: I didn't send it. I sent the parts. TT: Or, correction, DS sent them. TT: You then assembled it. You were therefore complicit in your own spectacular, daily humiliations. GT: Yeah whatever. TT: You wanted somebody to wrestle with. DS was being a kickass bro if you ask me. GT: I didn't expect it to be nigh impossible to spar with!!! 

Hah. So maybe Bro’s robot isn’t a sparring bot, but Jake’s is, and he sucks at fighting it. Does he just suck at fighting in general, or is it a terrifying deathbot, and therefore justified?

TT: You know damn well there are adjustable difficulty settings. TT: I have always recommending setting it to Novice, as has DS. GT: Yes. GT: I know. GT: Ive tried that. TT: Yeah? GT: Its just... GT: Well... GT: When hes pulling punches... GT: And taking it all easy and such... GT: And we start wrestling up a storm and whatnot... GT: Umm. TT: What. GT: Its just that the whole proceeding seems to become... GT: A bit tender for my liking.

Oh dear god.

TT: I don't understand. TT: Isn't that what you want from a Novice setting? TT: Sparring with minimal discomfort?

Oh, don’t play dumb; you know exactly what he meant.

GT: Its all fine and dandy martially speaking. GT: Just the way he... GT: Sort of... GT: Man its so awkward trying to convey this just never mind. TT: No, I think I get it. TT: You're saying you were somehow dissatisfied within the presence of my robotic avatar's personal space.

Huh, so is the “brobot” an extension of the AI’s awareness? Can it actually control the robot body? In which case, maybe it’s just the auto responder who has a thing for Jake. Is this some kind of ‘if only I were a real boy’ thing? A Pinocchio metaphor certainly wouldn’t be inapropos. Or should I say, INAPROBRO?? :D :D :D

TT: Seriously, what does this simple, loyal brobot have to do to prove his worth to you? TT: What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know.

Eeeecchhhhh. I think I just crossed my legs harder.

TT: Check it out, little green rocks all over the goddamn place. More than you could ever hope to cram in a shoddy metal rabbit, or any other pliable orifice which might be convenient.

Is that a thinly veiled ‘shove it up your ass’? :P

TT: Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all trotting around with your fancy fuckin' DNA and shit.

Is this ironic aggravation, or real aggravation? It’s honestly hard to tell.

GT: Fuckin....... GT: SHUCKS buster. :(

Ahahahaha.

Ok if he wants happy hunting you will GIVE him happy hunting. HAPPILY.

Woo woooooo!! I have no idea where this will go, but he already seems like a much more self-assured Page than Tavros was. Unfortunately we’ll have to wait just a bit to see how it turns out, because that’s all from me for today! I’ve got weekend work coming up (booo) but I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I’m able, and there’s still plenty of fanwork fest backlog I can chip away at.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 66 #Act 6 #A6A1

[mothmansmilkman]

Get to know me thingy

I got tagged by @littlehanded and @paint-sponge to do this, so here you go :3

Name: Hannah

Nicknames: Usually Hanners. My favorite one is Hannada though. 

Gender: Probaby a girl. I’m okay with any gender though (I don’t care if someone uses he/she/they pronouns for me. Most people call me a girl so I go with that. Idk I never really think about gender until I get a question like this...)

Star Sign: Pisces. My birthday is March 10th

Height: Either 5′5 or 5′6. I wish I were tall though. Tall people are cute. 

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Panromantic and Polyamorous

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Favorite Color: Dark red. I was in love with Aradia from Homestuck when I was 13, so that became my favorite color

Favorite Animal: Axolotls 

Average Hours of Sleep: Only a few on school nights. On a vacation I can sleep for a whole day. I’ve been getting out of bed at 1pm on most days this week. 

Cat or Dog Person?: I hate this question. Both are amazing. (but my 3 dogs are blessings to this world. I could talk about them for hours. My dogs are the best and I would do anything to keep them safe and happy)

Favorite Fictional Character: the Megidos from Homestuck, Nico Yazawa, Hanamaru Kunikida, most of the characters from Overwatch. 

Number of Blankets I Sleep With: Just one. I can’t sleep without a blanket no matter how warm it is in my room. 

Favorite Bands: Muse and Aqours, Scandal, The Pillows, Studio Killers, Arctic Monkeys, niki

Dream Trip: Probably Japan. 

Dream Job: Getting to play bass in a band. 

Blog Created: I apparently made my first post on March 7th 2013, three days before I turned 13

Number of Followers: 284

Posts: so many

Why did you get a tumblr?: The Sims 3 and Gorillaz. I was a regular on the Sims reddit when I was 12, and I saw that many of the people there had Simblrs. I made one too, and then noticed that tumblr had content for my other interests, such as Gorillaz and other things that I’m not into anymore. So, I deleted my Simblr and dedicated my life to memes.

Meaning of your url?: My username on EN SIF was Milk Man, and my name on JP SIF was Moth Man, so when I felt like getting a new URL i just mashed those two names together

[ursa-ironii]

Tagged by @iskindiriya !!

1. why did you choose your url?

Ursa is what I’ve went by for a really long time now, and ironii was a purposeful misspelling of irony because I thought it was funny and ironic to misspell irony.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have a few !

@space-and-time-kintypes was for my Jade, Kanaya and Aradia kin posts ! I don’t use it as often since they’re not too active anymore.

@color-swatches-and-icons was for when I was on quotev and I made my own icons for profile layouts !

@your-friendly-reminders was for positive posts ! I sort of abandoned them since I kinda forgot oops-

@beee-eater which was originally supposed to be a place for my fandom rants ajdjsjdjsjsj shhhshh

@ask-the-coordinator-idv and @idv-ask-the-empath were when I ran ask blogs and when I was SUPER into IDV :P

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Oh uhHhhH I can’t remember honestly ?? I wanna say for at least like… five or six years or so ?? On and off initially but more frequent now !

4. do you have a queue tag?

LMAO no I don’t think so ?? I have queued some stuff and if I used a tag, I don’t remember </3

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Art <3 (that I rarely if ever post </3)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp

Oh ! I think I meant for this to be temporary but it just sorta. Stuck ! It’s super cute though so I don’t mind :3

7. why did you choose your header?

Uhhh bcus yellow good and matches <3

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

OH WUSJWJSJWJDJW UHHH ITS MY MILD SADSTUCK JADE HARLEY COMIC WHERE SHE PLAYS MINECRAFT AND THINKS ABT BEC

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Idk at least like. 5 ??

10. how many followers do you have?

Idk tbh ?? Like I’m rarely ever looking at my numbers sjdjsjdj sjdjsjd if I happen to see it it’s bcus I have to grab smthn from my drafts

11. how many people do you follow?

I just checked uhH 170 JSJXJSJDJSJDJ

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

I thought spelling irony as ironii was funny, and I’m 17 with friends who have stuff like “I hath pissen mine pants” on their tittle thing, I think you can take a guess /lh

13. how often do you use tumblr every day?

Idrk ? Sometimes I incessantly check because if I don’t I’ll get bored and die I think, but sometimes I’m just like “I’m not even touching it !! I am looking away !!l

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

No, and I want to keep it that way <3

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I think they have good intentions most of the time, but I have to be careful. I don’t like the guilt-tripping aspect, and they (ironically) feel insensitive for people who may struggle with stuff like guilt. Like,,, no one is a bad person if they don’t reblog this OP,,,, stop making people feel like that.

16. do you like tag games?

I think they’re purretty fun ! It’s nice to know someone thinks abt you too :3

17. do you like ask games?

yeah :3

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@red-swimmerz

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Hwhsjwjdjsjdj I think so ? But I’m not pursuing it. Romantic attraction is really weird and confusing for me currently even though I currently do align myself as a lesbian :3 (I could very well be akoiromantic but idk !)

20. tags?

Hmmm !!

@visceralrevulsion @knightimehopes @polkadotzavala and whomever else wants to join in ! You don’t have to do this if you get tagged bee tee dubs !

#the bear roars #it’s always a pleasant surprise whenever I’m tagged by you ! /p

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0c0n 2k18 friday

diary 4 future me. cosplayed: tsumiki (sd/r2)

uh idk how to describe some panels due to barely remembering or not knowing how 2 word stuff so!! sry

okay so i arrived there early at like. 9:30 but apparently the con didnt open until 10 am? so i sat in the bottom floor lobby n played CR/went on tumblr until i went in and went to the bla/ck butler panel! ciel kept being dared to hug everyone, even ppl he hated like alois or soma n grell kept flirting w sebestian

then the bn/ha panel! they did trvia at first, n i think i got a question right, but didnt raise my hand so rip... anyway after short trivia they did the q+a and pr3s3nt m!c said he goes thru 2 cans a day w his hair n that he has endorsements w hairspray companies n later all m!ght said he was oth proud and disappointed in deku’s obssesion w him n i asked aizawa if any of the students ever vaped in his classroom n he said that the were rowdy

after that i walked around for a while n saw a momo (id0lish) n without thinking, asked 2 take their pic n they said they remember me from last year n they were apparently the momo i took a pic of last year??? haha whoops i was just Excited. i also saw a rei while talking to a tsumiki+nico n i was like “thats a yumenosaki uniform omg r u cosplaying ens/tars/into ES” n they said yes they were supposed 2 b rei but their friend had their wig but we were talking abt ES n i cant rly remember a lot of the convo but they said they only rly disliked eichi n i think they liked rei n ritsu n switch? anyway, also around this time, i was climbing the stairs n a fancy dre/amer jane was like ‘hey uh, are you looking for someone named x?” n i said “no...?” n they realized they got the wrong peron n apolgized n left but later i saw them again n asked 4 a pic n apparently their dress was $200 holy shit.. it was a rly nice outfit tho aa. 

then i went to the hs panel! not much to say tbh? stuff happened, questions were asked n all, yknow. kanaya n rose came in fashinoably late but the kanaya was pretty aa. they got asked abt vines n i remember the kanayas favorite was the “yall ugly” vine. aradias was “so no head?” roses was “we all gonna die someday” 

anyway, i went downstairs n stood arund then noticed someone that looked like 1st yr koga so as i passed them when i started moving, i asked if they were koga n they said yes n i took a pic of them (i didnt realize their friend was rei/fem!rei (i think) altho i slightlky wondered it but i had tunnelvision.. a onetrack mind...) n i was like “how r u doing in the event?” n they apparently dont play the game, but they’re into ES n i said “oh!” n i asked their best boy n they said keito or [someone i cant remember] n i said oh cool and i stan rei, since im thirsty, and chiaki n idk the rest of the convo, but they told me there was an ES person in the artist alley n i immediately ran off to go find the artist. then i found an iruma w an arashi in their itabag n complemented them on it (n also said arashi is valid) n their friend had a tsukasa itabag n we talked abt ES for a minute and i asked them abt the button artist.

then the v0ltr0n panel! again, dont kno what 2 say, but it was p funny! “what’s yalls favorite ship??” “we all swore, the Castle” bhrghrt. then i meant 2 go 2 the su panel after the v0ltr0n panel bc it ended at 5:20 n the SU panel ws ongoing after it but i just Didnt. 

so i walked around the dealers room again n saw someone w a tsumugi itabag n i was like “their hair looks similar to tsumugi r they cosplaying tsumugi?? either way, ill complement them on their bag” but they Were cosplayng tsumugi like i expected n they said they were glad 2 b recognized n that tsumugi doesnt get enough love n i got a pic of them n we talked abt ES n they liked the natsume strap on my bag n they also like the oddballs, bc i mentioned i have all the oddballs on my  bag except shu n i learned the ES button person was the same one that made the buttons? they showed me a lil tori figure keychain they got n it was cute... idk if we talked abt much else but Yeah. i also ran into the rei n they found their wig n i was like “u got ur wig? nice! im proud [idk why i said this? i think i meant it in an ‘i believed in u!’way??]” n asked them n the dia they were w for a pic, and also ran into one of my tumblr friends n they had such a cuuuute outfit n they had a lil v!ktuuri charm AND a super cute clear keychain n i was like “MY EFFING BOY.. WUV” but we talked 4 a minute which was fun!!

then the v0ltr0n “opration whats goin on” panel! the operation was apparently that lance couldnt speak english thruout the panel but i knew a bit of spanish so i could kno some of the words but anyway i remember they all T-posed n i think they got asked a vines question too? yea! i remember at some point the kieth threw their starbucks cup in rp anger or smth (it was p much empty) but some of it got ont he carpet n everyone was like ‘KEITH...”

then i coudnt walk around the dealers room bc it was closed so i walked on the con floor n some person was walking around w a large speaker n they put on “Take On Me” n a bunch of us started a chain of people following each other doing that weird dance run that goes w that song n we went all around the con floor, up the escalators, up the stairs, circled around 3 LL cosplayers, went back down, went all the way to the game room, did it in circles around the middle floor of the game room, then the person changed it to “Nevr Gonna give u up” n said we all just got rickrolled but we continued the chain/conga n just danced along to it and motiond to others while lipsyncing all the way back to the middle floor area w the music then the speaker person put on the macarena n i did it for a minute b4 worrying abt my wig n getting tired so i walked around the area then stood near a corner n started reading a hypm!c smut fic then later sat down near the next panel room i was going to go in n finished it

then the dd/lc panel!! i was on my ipad 4 some of it oops sry but they were talking abt who’s best girl n what was it like for monika to delete the others n they got asked the meme and vine question too n they all T-posed as well n there was a kid in the audience who rly loved natsuki n monika n gave natsuki a hug b4 they had 2 leave b4 the panel ended n it was cute... someone tried 2 play your reality on an ocarina, yuri said f*ck, n sayori yeeted a pencil aiming 4 the center aisle of the room but it hit someone but yea Fun Timez

i left a few minutes early to go to the g0rillaz panel but apparently they had 2 cancel so i called my dad 2 come pick me up n saw my tmblr friend again nwe talked abt kp0p n con stuff then they left n i went to the game room 4 a sec but b4 that i saw kenyan n joked w him n called him a furry but how i met w hhim was that he was at the post near the game room (the badge check) n as i walked past he said “i told ur dad id watch over u it’s okay” or smth like that n i went “...excuse me? i dont know you.” but then i realized who it was n went “oh.kenyan sry hi” n he was like “yea, u do, iplay pathfinders n dnd w ur dad in 2 days....” and i said “in our house ur labeled as a furry” n said he should cosplay his furry characters

anywway after a while (i just sat down n waited) dad picked me up!

#I NEED 2 GO 2 SLEEP IT'S2 AM.. GOTTA BRUSH TEETH TOO #diary