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nicksbestie · 2 months

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Hey! If it’s not too much to ask, could you write a fic where Matt is a little bit tried to hide that he’s slipped from his partner (I don’t mind female or gender neutral :))? Thank you angel 💜💜💜

Hiding - M. Sturniolo

Summary : Despite being incredibly loved and supported, your boyfriend still struggles a lot with anxiety about how he chooses to cope. Good thing you can always tell when he needs you <3

Pairing : Matt Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

Warnings : mentions of anxiety, worrying

Word Count : 1124

A/N : This is an age regression fic, which is purely safe for work and innocent. Any hate/disrespect towards me, my work, or readers, will not be tolerated.

Your boyfriend was the sweetest person that you had ever met. You had never met someone who was so genuinely kind hearted, despite everything that they had dealt with and been through, and you considered yourself so incredibly lucky to have such a darling person in your life, especially being your partner. He dealt with a lot in his life, especially now that he was a public figure, and you knew that could become incredibly difficult for him. It often showed in his time off of the camera, as his job was not stress free. His anxiety could often be uncontrollable, and it was something that he had struggled with for his entire life.

He had been through so many coping mechanisms in his life, desperately trying to find something that would ease his worries, and it took him a long time to find something comfortable for him. He took a while before he even told you about it, a little worried and afraid that he would be judged by you, despite knowing that you loved him unconditionally. When he finally told you that he had chosen regression as a coping mechanism, you comforted him with open arms, telling him that you were insanely proud of him, knowing that it had been difficult to overcome the anxiety swelling in his mind to just tell you about it.

Matt was the sweetest little, his age falling around the toddler range, and he was the most gentle baby you’d ever taken care of. He was quiet, fairly introverted, and extremely cuddly. He was a very loving little one, and he was nearly always happy while he was in headspace. He’s a cute baby, but sometimes, his anxiety follows him into his littlespace. Every now and then, it really got to him, and he was even more attached to you, terrified of the world, trusting you to take care of him and keep him safe. Because of this anxiety sometimes getting to him, during these days, he often fought his regression, feeling extremely self conscious about it, but you were always there to help him relax.

Today was clearly one of those days. You had noticed that Matt had been picking at his nails a lot, his eyes always darting back and forth, and his body just generally screamed that he was anxious. You had done everything you could to help that day, hugging him lots, texting and telling him lots of words of encouragement, making sure that you were never far from him just in case he needed you. You didn’t know what had caused today to be such a bad day, but it was entirely possible that it was simply just one of those days. Anxiety can be unpredictable, and maybe he had just woken up unlucky today. You were supportive throughout the entire day, ignoring the nagging feeling in your chest, knowing that Matt hadn’t had time to regress in multiple days now.

When he had to go many days without his form of stress relief, it often caused his anxiety to get a lot worse. You had a feeling that he really needed to have little time, but it was clear that he was busy today. He had a lot to do for filming videos, brand collabs, getting set up to film the next podcast episodes, and he had nearly been working nonstop for the past week. You knew deep down that he needed to relax, but you unfortunately had to wait and support him through the day first. The day continued, they finished filming a car video, and the second that Matt pulled into the garage, you immediately went downstairs to check on him. Nick and Chris thundered out of the car, laughing about some stupid joke, not noticing how Matt threw his head back into the seat, eyes closing, and a deep sigh leaving his lips, before putting his head in his hands.

You hurriedly opened the door, helping him out of the car and pulling him into a deep hug, helping him walk back up the stairs. His exhaustion was written all over his face, and you could feel it as he let you carry half of his weight. You helped him change into more comfortable clothing, and he immediately threw himself down on the bed, curling up into you when you laid down next to him. You wrapped your arms around him, rubbing his back and running a hand through his hair, gently whispering comforts and praise, noticing the way he slowly went completely silent. You let him lay there in quiet for a while, hugging him, and softly kissing his forehead before speaking.

“Are you okay, honey?”

He simply nodded into your chest, not answering, and you had a suspicion that he was slipping, and trying to hide the fact that he was feeling little. You didn’t want to pressure him, wanting to give him the space to tell you himself, but you didn’t think he was going to do that tonight, so you spoke again.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’m here if you need me, alright bubba?”

Before you knew it, loud sobs were filling the room, Matt hugging you tighter and attempting to make himself appear smaller, clearly feeling immense levels of fear and embarrassment. Your eyes softened, continuing to comfort him while he cried.

“Oh, angel. Deep breaths, baby, you’re safe. You’re going to be okay, my love, I’ve got you. Nothing to worry about anymore, honey, I’m going to make sure you’re taken care of.”

It seemed to only make him cry harder, unable to speak to save his life, simply clinging to you and crying out all of his frustrations into the person he trusted with his life, his most vulnerable headspace. You reassured him, whispering sweet nothings to him while he cried it out, slowly stopping the tears, hiccuping a little bit, and if he wasn’t so sad, you would’ve found it so cute. You gently wiped his tears away, pressing little kisses to his forehead and cheeks, keeping him in your arms so he felt encased, but in the safest possible way. When he cried this hard, and had this bad of a day, he always cried himself right into a nap, and you were patiently expecting it.

You knew he needed the rest, and you kept him held close to your body, his stuffed animal clutched in his arms, tears drying, and slowly yawning. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep against you, face flushed, and you held him as he slept, knowing that no matter what mood he was in when he woke up, you would always be here to take care of him, and he didn’t have to hide.

~ taglist : @blahbel668 @strnilo @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae

~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

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Hello again buddy!! I saw your post about opening lesso requests back up and im so excited!! I was wondering if you could do another romantic agere fic where reader is sick and it makes her slip more often and lesso takes care of her really well and is just super cute and fluffy? Im sick rn and ive discovered that it makes me slip way more often than usual and i thought itd be a cute fic idea, thank you so so much!! Keep up the amazing work!! <333

-🪩

Poorly Bubba

*Authors note~ I love writing Agere fics*

Trigger warnings~ age regression, (little r cg lesso) momma lesso sickness (throwing up )

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

The first symptom you had was a sore throat, nothing too unmanageable but enough to be annoying, then there was the pounding headache. Combined with the stuffy blocked knows and the churning of your stomach it was safe to say you clearly had some kind of bug. For you, your regression tended to be more frequent and a lot deeper when you felt under the weather.

Your sleep had been broken multiple times that night, but this time you felt nauseous so you ran straight to your shared bathroom, urging sounds filled the room alerting your girlfriend to your current state and pulling her from her slumber. Sleepily, she found her way to you, holding your hair back and rubbing circles into your back. You hated being sick, so not only were you being sick you were also choking on your own sobs.

"Sweetheart, your okay my darling it's all okay" she murmured hoping to soothe your already frightened self. "Momma" you sobbed curling into yourself. "It's okay little dove, you're okay momma has you." She whispered pressing a kiss into your hair as she flushed the toilet. "Dove, are you finished darling?" To which you nodded as you continued to cry. Lesso seemed to reach up to the sink to fill a little cup with water before handing it to you. "Here baby, sip this okay? It will help"

With a few sips of water, all you did was curl up into your girlfriend whimpering as you were hit with a bout of stomach cramps. "Momma brush?" You whimpered and she reached to grab you a toothbrush. "Here dove, let's brush those toothy pegs darling" she cooed before helping you clean you teeth.

With all your needs being met she helped you make your way back to the bedroom, before coming to snuggle you up to her chest, your nose buried into Lesso's neck, breathing in your scent. "Momma. I no feels god mmm hurt" you whined curling up into her more, clearly the cramps were playing you up something nasty but your tiny brain couldn't handle that fact. It became too much for you, all you could do is cry. "Oh my dove you're okay! Momma has you, what do you need baby? You want your baba? Noms? Ems?" She was reeling off the things you normally would ask for in this headspace, avoiding anything food or drink oriented.

"Wan noms ems nmm mommas" you whined wriggling unhappily as you couldn't get comfortable. "Okay baby let momma up okay?" Which caused you to whine more and clutch into the women's clothing, "no go no momma no weave" you whimpered over and over as she attempted to hush you, "baby I'll be two seconds love. Just two okay?"

True to her word Lesso returned quickly with ems and got you all snuggled back into bed with her. Ems tucked into your chest as she allowed you to have her fingers to suck or chew on. Whatever you needed she would give you, truly she just wanted you to feel better. She hated when you were sick knowing just how scared you were. "Momma is here baby you wanna go nini?" She murmured as you were blinking sleepily trying to fight the exhaustion. "Mmm. Mkmmma stway" you whimpered and she immediately nodded. "I'll stay my dove, we can both take the day off tomorrow and make mommas dove all better okay?"

You let out a pleased hum at the idea of staying home with momma, that meant snuggled in bed and a whole lot of comfort. "Now nini my darling dove momma loves you" she mumbled dropping kisses onto your head. "Nini momma wuvs " you mumbled before sleep took you. Lesso stayed on alert all night incase you had another bout of sickness, which thankfully you didn't.

Word count~ 753

#anon answered #fanfic #lady lesso #sfgae #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #leonora lesso x reader #lady lesso x you #dean of evil #anon requested

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simpjaes · 2 months

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pls give writing, maintaining motivation tips?

im genuinely the last person to ask for writing, maintaining, and motivation tips.

i tell you, i am messy in my brain. I rely entirely on energy levels to write. If i have a lot of energy, i'll write 10k in a day. The very next day i might lose all that energy and not write for weeks.

so on that front, you're shit out of luck. I do not know how to maintain, nor do i know how to be motivated if I lose it. My brain either runs very fast or doesn't run at all.

Now for writing.

+ write a loose outline so you have a general direction to go in + write whatever you want and don't be super critical. you're the only one writing it, so the only guidelines you need to follow are your own (which is why i suggest a loose outline that can be changed if need be.) you can always remove or add stuff. + if you take multiple days to write one story, when i open my docs again to continue writing, i never go to where i left off. I, instead, re-read the entirety of what i've written and edit as i re-immerse myself in the story and headspace. not only is it easier to find mistakes and re-word sentences with fresher eyes, but more often than not it'll jog your mind so that way there's no shift in your writing when you do get to the point of continuation. + if you write it all in one day, give yourself some time away from it if you want to proof read it. if you don't proof read, post that shit. someone's gonna like it either way. + don't force yourself to write if you lose interest in the plot or if you made promises to strangers online. the best fics are the ones people self-indulge in, not the ones they force themselves to get through. idc what anyone says, people can tell when an author hates what they write. if you don't love it, if you don't want to write it, or if you simply need a break from it, do it. otherwise you'll still hate it after it's posted anyway. my number one rule in writing is that i do not owe anyone an orgasm or a plot that fits their specific needs. you get what you get because i choose to share it. never write for other people unless you want to. always credit an idea, and never sell yourself short of your hard work. there will be hate, there will be competitive writers mad that you're enjoying yourself, and there will be lots and lots of self-doubt. you have to remember you chose to write for one reason or another. don't replace that reason with some bullshit someone says to you. write what you want whenever you want. take as much time as you need, and don't treat writing as a job, because you're not getting paid for it.

#ask #anon #im a yapper #yappin yappin yappin #someone tell jay to shut me up with his c--[gunshots]#tips

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tadpolesonalgae · 6 months

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i think you don't necessarily need longer chapters especially if they would take longer to come out. it's really about moving things along i think, reader is the main character in this story but everyone reading it is reading it because they like acotar and azriel and we only see reader. i agree with the blue balls comment, we havent gotten anything with azriel, nothing about her magic and not even any eris interactions. the latest chapters have just been a bit dull im sorry 🫣 im not trying to be mean and i understand that it's to keep the story in how her mental state is but i think it's been dragging too long. the comment about this being fic and not a book was very important actually because even if we get 10 chapters of this tone in a book we can just keep reading to the next part but like this we stay months in that and might lose interest if the story is taking too long to move. we've seen how her life is which in my opinion is almost like the prologue and then when the story started we'd see things start to change but it feels like we're still reading the first chapter and it's been 11

‘i agree with the blue balls comment, we havent gotten anything with azriel, nothing about her magic and not even any eris interactions.’

I’m kind of relieved you mentioned Eris since there is a scene with him coming up (I’ll really try to limit how many chapters that takes up so it doesn’t end up lagging again—I give full permission for anyone to tell me to speed things up) but I am still worried people won’t like what’s going to happen with Eris and the IC since it’s the pivotal point in this fic where stuff will take a turn?

‘the latest chapters have just been a bit dull im sorry 🫣’

To go on a brief tangent relating to emotions, I appreciate these feedback-type comments coming in a bit later after having posted a chapter.

Not to get too personal because I like keeping this blog about acotar, but getting into the headspace of cbmthy reader for sometimes hours at a time, for multiple days really messes with me at times, so getting a chance to cool off from that and then reading feedback comments is great. I can see them objectively and understand these are designed to help, so thank you for writing in

‘we've seen how her life is which in my opinion is almost like the prologue and then when the story started we'd see things start to change but it feels like we're still reading the first chapter and it's been 11’

I think overall, the general consensus has been to drive the plot forward, touch more on the magic side of things, and have more progression with Azriel and Eris to further the storyline instead of waffling about her mental state.

Honestly I’d like to say again thank you because I genuinely hadn’t thought it was dragging, but I guess I’ve been working on it constantly for months whereas you guys only get short bursts of it which—from what I’ve understood—haven’t always given a strong enough kick to continue being interesting so I can see why it would be irritating/disappointing to continuously have the same stuff repeated over and over :/

(Thank you for telling me about how it’s going too slowly and also being so straightforward without being insensitive—I really appreciate it and I hope the next chapters will work on the points that have been brought up! 🧡💛)

#anons <3 #cbmthy #feedback

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ahdriking · 2 years

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hellooo for the ask tag how about 10, 11 (especially like, types of pairings?), 14, 30 and 42? (also im about to read the blue blood update and i can not WAIT im so exited)

5 QUESTIONS YOU SPOIL ME ANON!! I really hope you enjoy the blue blood chapter 💕💕

10. How do you decide what to write?

WELL it's honestly different every time! I tend to be the kind of writer who latches onto an idea/vibe/topic that just speaks to me and takes over my brain, and then I spin that out into a fic. Sometimes the idea comes to me organically, but most of the time it comes to life in collaboration with others 🤣 Usually I start off with gathering some kink ideas that I want to explore, and then I start to build the details of the scene around moments that jump out at me that would be really hot.

I also turn to tumblr/twitter polling to help me decide 🤣

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

I tend to become very partial to a single pairing and obsess over it religiously! I do still like the occasional side pairing, or giving some love to some rare pairs, but generally speaking one relationship will just spark for me and light a fire under my ass that i'll inevitably be consumed by. I reckon it's because I hyperfixate, and also because once I've got the feel for characters down and how to write them, it's actually quite tricky to get out of the mindset of their mannerisms/headspace and work with another character.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

HMMM. Well, I'm generally a very open minded person when it comes to tropes/kinks/stuff like that, but when it comes to my squicks/DNW's i'm so Hard No with it that i'm not sure! Honestly, the two that jump to mind are MCD and mpreg, and they're... I genuinely don't see how I would be able to enjoy either of them, but!! There are quite a few (cough kurtstiel cough iffervescent cough yeetlegay cough mirrorofprinces cough cough) who could probably get away with it, they're just that fucking talented. I would trust them with it.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

The only fic i've ever written that genuinely isn't something I'd call one of my own kinks, and therefore takes me out of my comfort zone is Nature, my capri fic with omega!damen and MILKING (LOL I HAVE WRITTEN ABO BEFORE its just,,, unconventional ABO) the thing in particular with this fic that I was uncertain with was the milking/lactation aspect which I'm pretty sure was part of a prompt? It's definitely not one of my kinks, so I really had to challenge myself to try and understand it, what works about it, what appeals about it, and try and make that shine in the fic. It honestly taught me to approach kinks from multiple perspectives; there's my own, the initial and most instinctual perspective that's largely based on my horniness, but then there's also a more analytical perspective that takes the broader audience into account. This fic definitely taught me to try and balance those two aspects.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

Oh god there are so many lovely, wonderful comments that I remember and cherish that stand out to me for all sorts of reasons. Most of them written by @elmindredaniq 🤣. But to give you an example of one in particular recently, I was reliably informed by an avid fan of dark!fics that blue blood is one of the best out there. That really put a smile on my face.

Ask me something!

#ahdris asks #ANON YOU SPOIL ME #I HAD A LOT OF FUN ANSWERING THESE THANK YOU <3

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chiyoumen · 2 years

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Will you ever post more two faced? Im just wondering

Short answer: I gotta be honest, it's a little difficult for me to keep up with, especially lately. I plan on writing something for Ren/Ryo via the perspective of the anime since they're a little more .. 💅 ✨ in their interactions there, but it'll take some time and that'll likely be a new fic altogether (but still feed us hungry Ren/Ryo fans, I hope.) And I thank you for still being interested!

Long answer... (TW: talking about abuse and healing)

I'm almost a year out of an 11 year long abusive relationship, so I'm still exhausted and working on coming out of survival mode. Writing generally has been my go-to for escapism, but as I'm trying to focus on the safety of my reality it is more difficult to focus on. Not to mention, said abusive person was the one who introduced me to shenmue, and I'm trying not to think about him. I'm in a very healthy relationship now and we are working on multiple projects together outside of Shenmue. One thing they don't tell you about healing from this kind of thing is that you're going to be extremely exhausted, and I have been on top of my already existing autoimmune disorders.

The reasons WTMH is easier to get out is because it's more my own work, so I have more creative freedom. That said, any chapters past what's posted have already been written (somewhere up to chapter 26? I may have to rewrite some. Anything else is edited right before posting) so it's not as if it's new content for me. I'm not currently working on either or any of my solo personal projects even though I've been dying to get back into the headspace. Collaborative work is easier for me right now.

That said, I do miss the fandom and I do miss Shenmue in general so please don't take this as me giving it up! I'm very grateful that people still care about TF (and of course the smaller amount of people that care about WTMH) and I want to bring more content to the fandom... I just need time. But again, I do greatly appreciate the support TF continues to gather. In other words, I hope I can write again soon, whether it's TF of the new Ren/Ryo fic idea I had. ❤️

#two faced #wtmh #personal post//))

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mellointheory · 3 years

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late to the ask game but 🧠💻 💭 and whatever that police emoji is i can’t find it and i can’t be bothered

emojis from this ask!

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

uhhhhhh i'd say tryhard trio on a road trip like i want to write it but im not in the correct headspace for the hijinks and the nostalgia and the feeling of exploring something cool with people you actually care about very much that i want to convey through writing it

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

i do so much research. i currently have multiple tabs open with google search results for whether being drunk makes bright lights hard to look at, what a common kind of peach alcoholic drink is, and how much alcohol in your blood is too much. the deepest dive? honestly not certain.

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

i'll pick one from my cyberpunk au and it's the hc that gumi is actually one of the most feared people in their area of the city, based both on her own unique skills and on the fact that she has connections to everyone.

👩‍🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?

uhhhh in recent times my fics have been just me vibing. i wrote punz making out with someone in a club as an open to my current WIP and that's like, the spiciest things have gotten recently. now, out of my old ones? probably some omegaverse shit for an anime or something idk

#mello asks #writing ask game!

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inyoursheets · 4 years

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Hello! I wanted to ask counting sheep and racing thoughts for your asks. But also if you are working on something besides warm water?

Counting Sheep: How long have you been writing?

uhhh forever and also just recently??? i always loved to write but when i started writing brio fic in january of this year, i actually hadn’t written in a few years. or, barely. brief stints. but ive been writing since my grandma passed when i was..... i wanna say eight? im not sure

Racing Thoughts: Do you like word sprints, or sites like Write or Die? Do you write well under pressure?

i don’t know if i write well under pressure, but pressure is probably the one solid guarantee to get me to write? at least it makes me write. im actually surprised by how helpful the good girls prompt-a-thon was in getting me to write and just bang out the first 10k of the threesome fic in like three weeks! and that i liked (still do, actually) how it turned out! so my initial instincts would be oh please don’t make me, i find the pressure terrifying, but it does help me focus.

i’m actually convinced i wouldn’t have written or finished the threesome fic while also writing warm water if it weren’t for the fact that i took the prompt and was expected to upload it by a specific date. bc im actually pretty bad at balancing different projects at once, i think, especially if it’s something i really wanna immerse in and do justice to -- which leads me to your other question about whether im working on something besides warm water.

im madly flattered that you ask! the answer is, i wish i could, i want to, but i can’t, bc my brain doesn’t work that way? like i said im really bad a juggling different creative projects and im currently also writing my thesis which is a similarly write-y and dense project as starting a new multichapter fic would be. i hugely admire people who can juggle multiple fics at once. the only reason i managed to work on the threesome fic and warm water at the same time is bc the former was nicely condensed by the prompt and the time limit. then i got really frustrated with both fics and distracted myself by writing a third, but i actually feel like i didn’t do that one justice, like i went about it with a lot of haste. so i wanna prevent that from happening again.

i can actually feel vague hints of plot and fic ideas tug at my sleeves a little but im trying to be smart and not give them any attention yet bc my fear is that it would distract me too much from warm water and my thesis, which should’ve been finished by now but it’s nowhere near done. also bc i actually still have to figure out some things for warm water and if i now start working on something new, figuring out warm water is gonna get more difficult, i assume. so i don’t think i could do a new fic justice if i try and work on it now, im too deep into warm water and trying to figure out some of the next chapters.

my plan is to finish warm water and once it’s done, give myself some time to get out of that specific brio headspace -- im kinda worried id write something too similar in terms of their dynamic, so im thinking i should just palate cleanse with a PWP oneshot or something. and then take a look at what exactly is trying to get my attention and give that proper attention and time and think it through and make a solid outline and write a significant portion of it before so much as uploading the first chapter.

in conclusion i wanna work on different things but im trying to resist, plus my natural writing urges of plummeting straight into writing without much thought for plot would probably kick in if i do give in, and my future self isn’t gonna thank me for indulging. just like im now a little bit frustrated with past me for not having figured out the part of warm water’s plot im working on rn. but im very excited to start thinking about new things! tho at the same time, warm water has become pretty dear to me, and i also really want to do the final part of that fic justice and give us all a hopefully satisfying ending to that angsty mess! so for now, just my baby warm water

thank you for asking anon, im very flattered!!! can’t sleep writing asks to help me avoid actual writing <3

#ask #ask games #anonymous #my fic #i couldve answered that extra question in like four words but no #i really wish i could write different multichapter fics at once!!!! but i also like thought-out plot and i can't do that properly with one #let alone with multiple fics

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deniigi · 5 years

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Hello! Just about to sit down and read your newest fic, so excited about it! I had a question for you (you very well may have answered this already, so sorry in advance!), but do you have advice for writing? Advice in terms of getting start, plotting out stories, helping get the creative juices flowing? I have all these ideas but seem to lack the drive to get things written out. I know the best advice is to just write, but I'm having a horrible time starting. What do you do in those moments?

Hello my dear!

Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. The lord has blessed me with a head cold and ruined all my plans of productivity for the day, so I can finally answer this ask! I’ll talk a little bit about both how to get started with a story and then some little things that help me motivate myself.

I have started a tag for writing advice here: http://deniigi.tumblr.com/tagged/writing-advice

This is going to be a long post, sorry mobile users.

I am going to preface all of this with the understanding that I am technically a professional writer in terms of like, a handful of ways, but I have absolutely zero training in creative writing, so take everything I say with a grain of salt!

So, I personally find that, on the whole, that psychological hurdle of getting started comes a lot from the anticipation of the kind of response a story will get (how many hits, how many comments, how many kudos) in addition to a bit of anxiety or fear over theloss of sustained interest in that story (by yourself and/or by your audience). I find that this can be alleviated by really, truly internalizing the understanding that you are allowed to write your work however you damn please, for whoever you damn please.

There will be work you write for others, and there will be work you write for yourself. Not all work needs to be published; sometimes, it is really nice to just write shit for yourself; it is a plus for humanity if you decide to share it with others, but you do not have to do that.

Furthermore, I would like to present you with this:

This is what my current folder for under fire looks like. And you might notice that there are almost always multiple drafts per chapter. Yes, I did in fact rewrite chapter four 5 fucking times, you bet your ass I did. And I’m not ashamed of it. I think the story is better for it. And that’s the important thing here: you do not need to produce a perfect draft the first time around. You will not produce that perfect draft. Accept this. Embrace this. Embrace it and your cat at the same time to really ingrain it as a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Liberate yourself from the pressure of needing to produce the perfect, most right draft and you may find starting the piece overall to be a much easier, more pleasant experience.

And along with this beautiful, uplifting spiritual advice, I also bring a practical thought: when it comes to getting started, a lot of times, people feel like they need to set the stage, yadda yadda yadda. Ha. No. Fuck that.

That’s a surefire way to bore the shit out of yourself. Start right in the middle of a scene that captivates you if that’s what you want to write. It’s a free platform. No one’s gonna arrest you if you stick Spiderman upside down in trash first thing. They might even applaud you actually, because you didn’t make them slog through some of that ‘It was the evening of the 25th and it was cold out in the streets” bullshit we all learned from Dickens.

Alright. Now let’s talk about actually getting started making words appear on paper.

So, from my knowledge there are generally two ways that folks write creatively. You have what I’m going to call the planners and then you what I’m going to call the monsters (I call them this entirely affectionately, I’m sure there’s a better word for these folks, but I don’t have it atm, all I have is a headcold). Planners are folks who sit down and work out their major plot points, who write outlines, and who create the scaffolding of their work before they set out on their magical journey. I think of these folks as architects.

And then you have the monsters and these are those fuckers who just sit down and write stream of consciously like the heathens all our high school teachers tried to teach us not to be.

I am both a planner and a monster. And a lot of that depends on the length of work I’m going for. I have never in my life planned a one-shot, for example. I just attack that as it is. I follow my heart, if you will. But when it comes to longer chaptered fics, I really do think that some outlining is super helpful.

You might find it useful for one-shots, though, I dunno. Maybe give it a try and see what happens?

The two main fics I’ve done proper outlines for are Inimitable and under fire and I actually find outlining to be immensely helpful in psyching me up to write the story (I go through and re-read my outlines when I start to lose interest or diverge too much from the plot outlined there in the actual writing. 9 times out of 10, re-reading gets me stupid excited to write all over again) and it also helps me keep momentum going throughout the plot.

Here’s a pic of some pages of under fire’s outline.

Physically writing the work is really important for me because it forces me to only put down key points/feelings/ideas I want to include, whereas typing gives me far too much room to get lost/distracted by extraneous detail. And since my handwriting is a teacher’s worst nightmare and I cross out shit and write huge with emotion, I’ll give you a little bit of what the middle page here says:

Miles-

there’s something thrumming

vibrating in his ears wherever he goes

-closes his eyes and somehow enters blackness- emptyness (Stranger Things style)

beat

“help.”

–BACK - everything is gone

closing his eyes doesn’t bring the space back

–it makes him panic. He doesn’t know why. His heart is pounding. He’s sweating He has a horrible feeling of doom.

beat

its gone.

he goes home anxiously. Pretends everything is normal.

his neck crawls

So basically it’s less of a formal outline and more of a collection of stream of consciousness feelings and screenplay directions which I’ll flesh out in the actual story.

Personally, I love writing these kinds of things because they get me pumped for the story I’m about to tell. I get to write out the key scenes and work through all the hard parts first, and then, while I’m writing, I work through the little fun details and banter and I have to write to figure out how we get from one scene to the next and I love the challenge of having to fit those pieces together. I very rarely stick strictly to my outline, (as anyone who is currently reading under fire can tell you right now), but I do try to stick to the main plot points in it and my writing is certainly better for it.

So yes. Outlining is very good, but it is even better when you do it to some kind of music. I listened to What’s Up Danger from the Into the Spiderverse soundtrack on repeat while I wrote this outline to kind of transfer some of the relentless pace conveyed in that song to the piece’s plot.

I highly recommend using music to set the mood of your piece while/before you write a piece of any length. It helps get you in the right headspace (excited or somber or angry) to write. You need emotion to write creatively. You can’t just make that happen sometimes; you need a little help.

A couple other things which might help:

1. Leave your house or the space you’re normally in. Go to a cafe and find a nice corner and have a think and a try in there. Sometimes moving to a different space helps you escape cyclical thinking patterns.

2. Write what you want to read. Don’t bother writing for other peoples’ interests; that’ll just bore the shit out of you all over again.

3. Find an atmospheric mood sound to listen to on Youtube or smth (I personally like Rain on a Car Windshield for slightly somber fics, but you might be into ocean storms or dripping caves or whatever).

4. Heat your feet. I don’t know why but I am entirely unproductive when my feet are cold. Maybe this one is me-specific, but whatevs. Heat the feets!

5. If you’re still having trouble just sitting down and pounding the story out, that’s okay! Maybe it’s not ready to be written yet. Maybe you’re not in the right headspace yet. Sometimes that’s just how it is. One story makes its way out in like, a hour, and the next one takes like, months to finally be written. We all work at different paces. We all write for different reasons.

It might help to figure out why you want to write a story before you write it. Like, if its for attention, it’s gonna be hard as hell. But if there’s an idea that you feel like is important or if there’s a mood you’re trying to work yourself into or out of, then that might be a little easier. For example, I wrote a piece called make it work which is about Fogs finding his motivation to be a lawyer and fight for justice when Kavanaugh was confirmed and I felt super helpless in the face of our present justice system. That story kind of wrote itself and it needed to be written, I feel, not just for me, but for others who were feeling just as helpless.

Writing is catharsis in that way. Maybe you just need to find out what you need to wring out of your soul.

Sorry that got very metaphysical. But I do want to stress that getting started and ending a story are the hardest parts of writing them, so you are definitely not alone if you feel like you’re ramming your head into a wall here.

I hope something here helps you, my dear!

#fic #writing advice #fanfiction #managingmischiefsince1988

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