#im just. idk. ill go cry about it and be fine or whatever im just so overdramatic all the fucking time
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rlly wish I wasn't so needy and clingy 👍mentally ill shit in the tags lol
#i just feel stupid for needing so much reassurance i hate it#i genuinely hate it#i cant stand that fact about myself sometimes. anxious attatchment or smth i guess#just. fucking. can i get a moment where im not freaking out.#please.#and like i never shut the fuck up im like incapable of not talking about everything on my mind and it stresses me out#bc i feel like im dumping everything out of my brain and that someone is eventually going to go jesus christ youre so annoying#jesus christ youre so needy and clingy and desperate for attention and its pitiful .. i hate it! truly hate it!#bc when i eant to bring it up it feels so stupid. ppl have lives idiot they cant pay attention to you all the time#im just. idk. ill go cry about it and be fine or whatever im just so overdramatic all the fucking time
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Love driving! but my god i am so sick of driving right now
#i have driven through like 3 full tanks of gas in the past week and i just found out i gotta do it again this upcoming week too 😐#well.! time to go drive for 2 hours again!#as soon as i get back tonight im just taking a ton of weed and passing out#im just feeling really stupid right now. i got gas money for all the driving i have to do#but i thought i was given extra as like idk thanks or whatever#but no i got the amount i did because i have to make that roundtrip drive 7 times. not 3 like i thought.#soooo... guess who was stupid with money... this guyy..#oh boy. i guess this is a problem for tomorrow me to figure out#if i try to think too much about anything right now i might start crying . ill be fine im just. eurgh#i feel so stupid. i feel SO stupid#and the sleep deprivation is not helping in the slightest.#i dunno. i dont know#im just. going to start driving again. i dont have to worry about gas until tomorrow at least.#god im so stupid.
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In an attempt to cleanse... my head? My ~~~soullllll? My past *mysterious whooshing sound* I spent the last two or so weeks going back on my blog and deleting a bunch of posts I don't like anymore. Just a lot that I don't want on my blog anymore. It was an upsetting ride but it's done. I deleted over 120K POSTS.
I've drawn some conclusions that my therapist will hear about x")
Anyway now I'm gonna look for a new url a new icon euheueueh.
*siiiigh* I'm tryinggg okayyy I'm trying ;__;
#personal#also i finished stray today and im crying#also i havent finished a video game in so long wow#stray is the purest thing about this year i swear#thank u stray makers#also idk who even reads this but i dont go by tia anymore its rue now#its a temporary name#i have an issue with names and identity whatever#just. rue is fine <3#ill figure it out at one point
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#ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got...
This is leagues ahead of Jo as per Substitute Father so I'm sure you'll do great <3 NOT TO SET THE BAR LOW... Arakawa POV part of that was sooooooo cute but I am of course VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD regardless of what you've got in the oven :] I think it's funny we always end up with roughly the same concepts but I just shoehorn RGGJo into it instead
DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THOUGH WITH HOW THE MARKETING FOR YLAD KEPT HAMMERING IN THE SON THING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER... BUT THE SCENE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IS FUNNY and honestly half of the things Westerners [<- counting myself just this once] find funny in RGG apparently aren't intentional so what's one more
Substitute Father haunts me since i really don't like it but i also know that One (1) person really enjoyed it so i don't want to delete it SOOO the most i can do at this point is try to write something better as an apology and try to forget.. and hopefully let arakawa FPOV in a better fic..
BUT YEAH LMAO they really werent subtle bout it in retrospect.... teehee..
#snap chats#i dont like saying hate but I Do Hate a lot of things i make and i do go back to delete a sum of them#even if its like. Fine or whatever i'll just become overburdened with shame or embarrassment and i'll want it gone#i wanted to delete that fic before you saw it so im sorry you happened upon it#i wouldve deleted it sometime later but. then i saw people like it and i know i always go Aw Man when i cant find a thing anymore so..#here's to.trying to do better. even if i have no faith in my ability to write#its why i do comics and w/e..... less thinking involved... it comes easier to me...#if i sit here thinking about it anymore ill give myself an Actual Real Stroke LMAO so moving on#funny we have similar ideas :) idk what you have in mind but still lmao..... small world.. or something like that..#in any case... crying at the specification that This Once you're a westerner#sorry to sully you with such a heinous title 😩 no one likes it tbf...#i try to find comedy in like. Everything but maybe that is a Westerner thing who's to say not me#it's how i cope.... speaking of tho i checked my blood pressure Correctly this time :) it as 150 ☠️ sooo i MIGHT die...#we can only hope right LMAOO my chest hurt a lil.... oh noo here it comes...#jk i have to stare at this google doc for another two hours and do nothing as i feel ineptitude overcome me#also it's my sister's birthday :) it just became my sister's birthday as i was typing this LMAO#ok im done now bye
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daydreaming about dad bod mark...
content: gn reader, mentions of pregnancy/adoption if you dont like pregnancy (cuz i personally dont so lets say you both adopted a kid), husband!mark au, loverboy mark overall <3333 + slightly insecure mark
wc: 540
dt: @unabashedcroissanttreefan
you and mark have been married for a few years now, and since you couldnt get pregnant, you both agreed to adopt a kid.
now, Chloe, your child, was sleeping peacefully in her room, while you were chilling in the living room.
"y/n?" mark asked on an unsure voice "can i ask you something?"
"sure" you reply, putting away the book you were reading. "is something wrong? you never call me by my name unless something is wrong."
he sighs and looks at the ground, as if he was ashamed.
"mark" you say on a soft and reassuring tone, reaching out to hold his hands. "you can tell me, whatever it is, there's no need to feel ashamed about it."
"do you... still think i'm attractive?" he asked after a few moments of hesitation.
"well of course!" you hurried, your face softening. " why would i not anymore?"
"well... this is such a dumb reason, but hear me out, okay?" (you nod) "you know, yesterday, when i was training with my dad, he told me something along the lines of "you've been slower since you're married and youre a parent" and my brain somehow took this as him indirectly telling me i took weight, which i have to admit is kind of true but-"
"mark" you interrupt him, your voice firm yet soft, which made him look at you with poeading eyes, as if he was starting to cry. "is this why you didnt attend Chloe's bi-yearly beach event last year? (he nodded, and you gently cupped his face.) "listen, i will love you regardless, okay?"
"but this is not the man you fell in love with!"
you felt your heart shatter as you felt the distress in your husband's voice.
"listen, i- i dont give a shit what you look like, okay?" you reassure him on a soft tone. "you are a dad now. so, since you calmed down on hero duties,its totally normal to lose a little shape. and i'll tell you what, ive always loved dad bods. and thats totally fine! i get that it freaks you out because physical change in oneself can be scary, but dont you never doubt my live for you just for a tiny bump" (idk if bump is the correct word but you get the point)
"you really think so?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, uncertain of what you might reply.
"of course i do, silly! and ill repeat it until you start believing it!!" you cheerfully exclaim.
"thank you, y/n, you're the best,you know that?" mark reolied as he reaches out to you to hug you tightly.
"i know. im glad the question is settled then! now, do you want to go to the beach with Chloe and her friends? you don't have to if you donr want to of course, okay?" you reassure him as you gently squeezed his hand.
"ill come. go first with her, ill join you later!" he said with a soft smile.
you then headed towards your daughter's room to wake her up.
"y/n?" mark interrupts you, you then turned to face him. "i love you, you know that?"
"i know" you reply softly, "i love you too"
i was half asleep when the idea popped in my mind... you know i had to give my man some comfort... please reblog if you liked the fic, if you do ill give you a cookie and a lil (consented) kith
have a nice day/evening and dont forget to drink water!!
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)人(ﾟ∀ﾟ ) with love from katsu, going offline!
- @k4katsujin
#x reader#invincible season 2#invincible comic#invincible#mark grayson headcanons#mark grayson#reader insert#queer writers#writers on tumblr#creative writing#writers on ao3#writerscommunity
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TBB SEASON 3 SPOILERS
HEADS UP- I WILL BE TAGGING EACH OF MY EPISODE REVIEW THINGS WITH “tbb s3 spoilers”, AND OTHER SPOILER TAGS, PLEASE BLOCK THESE TAGS SO U DONT GET SPOILED!!!
AHHHHH OMEGA MY BABY. She has a pony tail stoppp my child is all grown up I will cry. Ok but she ate the new hairstyle she is slaying.
ERGH SHE HAS BEEN THERE 150 DAYS. Sick and twisted. She contrasts SO heavily with the whole sterile, orderly environment, it’s literally heartbreaking to watch. Forced into this mindless routine, her hopeful attitude constantly being beaten down on?? HURTING. GET HER OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE.
GOD seeing Crosshair look so broken BROKE ME. His shaking hands??? They took away the ONE thing he still had- his superior sniping skills, his steady hand. They took that AWAY from him. FUCKED UP. THEY TORE HIM DOWN. I can’t I’m so sad.
DADDY’S HOMEEEJWJWISNWIANQOQOQB (Hunter was on screen for the first time this season) (He is SO FINE)(MY HUSBAND HAS RETURNED FROM HIS HIATUS IN A TRAUMATIZED STATE BUT NONETHELESS HAS RETURNED TO GRACE MY SCREEN AND BE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE)
I had a horrible sense of dread overtake my body when he said something like “our mission isn’t over yet”… like idk I felt so ILL. PAIN. WHY do I have the feeling my man isn’t going to make it SHUT UP.
ALSO HIM MAKING RECKLESS DECISIONS???? The kidnapping of his daughter and the death of his brother have done a NUMBER on this man.
WRECKER my cutie patootie!! Yk it’s bad when Wrecker starts to become a voice of reason (which, Hunter in his desperate mindset, promptly ignores 😭)
HAHBANQKNSJQQKO CROSSHAIR IS SO FUNNY DURING HIS ESCAPE WITH OMEGA- literal snark fest
Need Omega bullying a mouse droid on repeat.
Stop mouse droid bullying 😭
OOOO NALA SE’S WARNING TO OMEGA TO LEAVE?? I’m scared. And Omega ate it up tho. She said “say less lmao I’m gone ✌️”.
Did palpy not feel a disturbance into the force. Was bro so into the “project Necromancer deets” he couldn’t tell his vessel was peacing out. Common Palpy L.
RUN OMEGA TAKE YOUR SARCASTIC BROTHER WITH U
JUST A GIRL AND HER DOG AND HER GRUMPY BROTHER EHEHEHEHE
OUGAHHH OK OK IM BOUNCING AROUND EPISODES HERE BUT STAY WITH ME
WHEN CROSSHAIR SAID “forget the hound, Omega.”, it lowkey felt like he was talking about himself. He was telling her to forget him, he was a broken animal, with no point in nurturing back to health. She needs to give up on him if she wants to move forward. BUT SHE DIDNT BECAUSE MAMA DIDNT RAISE NO UNLOYAL LOSER. NO. OMEGA IS THE REALEST ONEEEEE.
EMERIE you confuse me. I hate u yet am intrigued by u. Looking forward to her character development ahhhh.
HUNTER MY POOKIE BEAR BACK TO HIM BC that man was doing FLIPS chopping off the eldritch horror vines. They snatched his brother and he said “hell naw hoe let go of my BRO” and just. Went to town. Me when Hunter exists 🎉🎉🎉🎉
OH OU OH IHHIWHAIANQO ALSO THE MYSTERY GUY IN THE GREEN TACTICAL ARMOR?? IS THE ONE DOING THE “TORTURE” OR WHATEVER TO CROSSHAIR AND THAT GROUP OF CLONES??? If that’s really tech I’m gonna scream. You’re telling me he’s torturing his own brother. Tech would never even THINK about doing shit like that the man just wants to read nerdy newspapers. Desecration of the nerd lifestyle. OK I REALLY HOPE ITS HIM. LIKE I REALLY DO. OOO PLEASE I WILL CRY. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY SHOW THIS MYSTERY CLONE. NO NEED. IT HAS TO BE BROWN EYES (delusion).
OK I AM SO TIRED MY HEAD HURTS MY LIFE IS CHANGING Jesse we need to cook (I need to make tbb art) BUT I AM GOING TO BED FIRST
#the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb#star wars tbb#hunter tbb#tbb s3 spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#bad batch season 3#bad batch season 3 spoilers#spoilers#tbb spoilers#the bad batch season 3 spoilers
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Let me rant please;
I think this is unpopular but I literally love carol and Tommy, please let me explain.
Also please don’t attack me I am just a girl and I will cry. These are my opinions.
The duo= Tommy and Carol
They’re friends with Steve and everything is fine. Steve’s happy, the duos happy. I mean they literally share food in the cafeteria. That’s so adorable. They must have been friends for a good while. Then Nancy comes in. Nancy with her good grades, Nancy with the (sorry) definitely superiority complex, who never talks ill of someone, I’d be a little annoyed too. Who are you to come into my friend group and start calling us cliche ? girl I’m about to fight u.
They literally shit talk like normal teenagers I promise the world will be fine even though they talk behind peoples backs. At least it’s not to their face? idk LMFAO. A little gossip is healthy. Also Steve always seems to think what they say is funny until Nancy ruins it😒 (that was a joke please don’t hurt me)
Also it wasn’t tommy and carol who peer pressured their best friend into shotgunning a beer.. just saying.
I think everyone also started to think they were mean kids ( I mean kinda ) when they broke J’s shit, but they were so valid to do that. Like yeah they could’ve gone about it better, definitely less property destruction, but they’re 16 and they just found out (what they think is a) perv (sorry Jonathan) took photos of them partially undressed, and they just broke his camera. I’d have ruined his life!😭 if you took photos of me about to have sex with my boyfriend from my window I literally would have made sure you never got into a college, and I’m dead serious.
“I was looking for my brother” tell that to the police babe.
Also the thing about Steve getting upset with Nancy because she told the police or whatever. He doesn’t know the gravity of Barb missing like we the viewers or Nancy do. He’s a teenage boy with an abusive father who doesn’t want to get in trouble if the father finds out about him having friends over. No, he should not have told that to Nancy, but also he was valid in his feelings when he was scared for his dad to find out.
ALSO STEVE APOLOGIZING TO NANCY IM GONNA BE MANIC. “I panicked, I mean I was a total dick.” “Yeah, you were.” WHAT??????????😭 Steve may have panicked and broken the kids camera, yeah he should maybe think about apologizing for that (even though he really doesn’t need to because the kid used the camera to take photos of him naked), but he was NOT a dick for standing up for himself I’m gonna freak out. And Nancy not accepting his apology like she’s a saint in this situation? girl go to hell omfg.
And Nancy KNOWS what Jonathan did was wrong because she calls him out in the woods, oh lord.
I know someone’s gonna hate hearing me say it, but even though what Nancy did definitely was not cheating, it was most certainly disrespectful to Steve. Like here’s this boy that she knows he hates, here’s this boy that she knows definitely has some feelings for her (because he took photos of her naked while she was unaware?) and Steve comes over to apologize to his girlfriend (when he really has nothing to apologize for; besides the camera) and she blatantly lies to his face about where she’s gonna be! Like ok yeah she definitely couldn’t have told him she was going “monster hunting”, but she’s hiding the fact that she’s going to be with someone she knows her boyfriend doesn’t want her hanging around. 😭 I love Nancy tho, don’t come for season 3 or 4 Nancy I’m serious.
Another thing is when Steve and Jonathan got into that fight or whatever, they were being good friends to him ?!? honestly if I got into a fight like Steve, my best friend would have been shouting for me to kick his ass too, maybe even getting in because she can fight and I cannot, but that’s not the point. And when the cops came, they helped Steve escape. It’s just they had a poor choice of words at the gas station, but honestly their words were valid. And Tommy was a good boyfriend for defending Carol. Like, we as the viewers know Nancy didn’t cheat, and was deeply traumatized to be alone that night, but they don’t! They divulged in his delusions, let him drive to her house to check in on her, he caught her “cheating”, honestly the shit that I would have said if my bff’s boyfriend cheated on her? Hell no. Sign him up for the military, pop his tires, put mashed potato mix in his lawn before it rains, I would’ve done worse than the movie sign. But Steve cleans the sign cause he’s sweet and has better morals than me.
Honestly Steve is just plain better than me for saving J and Nancy cos if u had “cheated” on me and now intergalactic monsters r after u? have fun!!!<3 I am NOT saving your ass! And if he had listened to the duo, his heart wouldn’t have been broken 3 episodes later in season 2
In conclusion! Tommy and Carol weren’t assholes, they were teenagers, and that doesn’t make Nancy and Steve saints for seeing sense and growing up quicker. That also doesn’t make Steve and Nancy villains. None of these teens should be villainfied (is that a word ?) for being the way they are, because they’re teenagers who still have to grow and mature and some just do it quicker than others. Please stop attacking my best friends tommy and carol. They were just ride or die frl. This show is easily my favorite for the way they portray teens. It’s so incredibly accurate it hurts.
Nancy and Steve aren’t the villains but they could easily be painted to be. Tommy and carol aren’t the villains, but they could easily be painted to be. It’s point of view, which everyone has, and by that definition everyone is a little in the wrong, but that doesn’t make them world class villains and the others heroes. You’re literally the hero of your own story. I’m getting heated now I’m gonna post this ♡
Also I didn’t like barb don’t shoot me.
#Steve Harrington#nancy wheeler#stranger things#stranger things 4#stranger things 1#stranger things 2#carol stranger things#tommy hagan#Tommy stranger things#carol perkins
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camp here and there thoughts
considered spamming my friend, but instead ill put stuff here.
this is all my thoughts from as im listening to it, btw
sydney and jedidiah are quincent confirmed?!! (not clickbait)
i will literally eat up any character named rowan no questions asked
the first bit with the penguins reminds me of burrows end
one of my favorite silly weird things is time going past the numbers it should (reminds me of everything is fine. i think it was like, the first episode? digital clock goes from 2:59 to 2:60? super cool, love it)
"let us live to die another day" (will you live to see tomorrow or die another dayyy// once a spy always a spy.... sorry, sorry)
i love that theres emojis in the transscripts
i feel so bad for the vegans at camp
mentions of apocalypse? a character called rowan? (you know what time it is folks: obscure lyric references!!!! (my beautiful apocolypse, if i asked you to be mine, would our purposes align?) again, sorry. ill stop. no i wont.)
woo! sydney feelings hour!
i love syndey telling his tape recorder not to tell anyone about his hallucinations
ok random thing i just noticed the titles have like part of the one before them and part of the one after and thats just pretty cool
why is the sky always bad
sydney being very normal about death and jedidiah bein like 'no' is also very quincent
interesting the 'when you die you will rot' is a recurring thing
sydeys laugh is so cute i love himmm
ok so theres like a spider cabin, moth cabin, ladybug cabin and BATTLE CABIN?
children being bribed by sugar is one of the most realistic parts of this
ok but the distinction between reanimation and true necromancy is actually really cool
sydney as much as i love you why the heck did you say thick like that
(when youre a ghost recorder, no one knows your name, but they wont try to stop you if you arent playing the game)
'our bedroom' actually screaming
the voice acting is such yum
again, sydneys noncholance about death related things
omg gay?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
poor jedidiah is so pathetic and bbg
for the record i hate oposite day too
gasp: a navarro (makes sense shes a tyrant) (im refrencing gentlemens guide to love and murder? i think? i dont even know at this point)
i love that all of ep 5 is sydney being too extra and jedidiah being the most exasperated
ok so maybe the implication is that matthew isnt human, but also ppl can have extra color cones, but only afab ppl bc color cones are in the x chromosome (thats also why men are more likely to be color blind) so trans matthew hc now
sydney are your eyes ok??
justice for sydneys fancy soap
if someone does magic and hurts sydney i will cry
ok so now with confirmation that they use analog clocks i really wana know what they look like
also i was thinking about why the music from last ep reminded me of something v specific and i think its yokai watch?
"babe" ok theyve got to be gay right???
sydneys allergic to seeing goo? interesting
father time? a bastard? omg you know what time it is (hehehe time bastard)
sydney and jedidiah are so cute im actually going to die
aww i want lava cake w real lava :( (fun fact by strange definition water is technicaly a form of lava)
ok so the amount of wholesomeness makes me think something bad is going to happen
"theyre penny loafers :("
rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan!!!
the audio design is so yummy idk if i said that already
(uhh i accidentaly skipped most of ep six so back to that)
(the elephant man is just dead ambrose and sydney is vincent if they werre better at communicating)
"worms arent people" uh, YES THEY ARE, rude.
jedidiah whatever your project is it cant be so important that you havent played chess with your bf in A COUPLE OF YEARS wtf
(ok now to regularly scheduled friendship goo)
sydney calling the camper different animals is one of my favorite things
why is the sky always fucked up
"scary things like...men" sir you are men (but also same i am so scared of men and also are men)
jeDIDiah lmao
"your husband" and sydney just goes with it
ok but why is sydney slowly giving more and more louis taopp vibes (plz dont be like him)
i love casual loredrops about chocolate shortages
"friends" sure.. sure.
ok... so sydney did know that jedidiah had pics of him in his office? bc they used to be on the corkboard/?????
poor bb sydney is sad that his husband isnt telling him things
"[Scoffs] Friend. As if we’re not… we’re not… [Sighs] we’re not." noo im gonna actually cry (i am- i was... i'm supposed to be the best/ref)
i wanna see sydneys haunted house and skeleton cat drawings :(
"Put the Silly Putty back. You don’t need more Silly Putty." (my friends @ me when i watch another musical) (myself @ me when i eat another one of rowans fandoms >:3)
"co-nurse" idk if hes actually the assistant or not but i think sydney calls him that bc control? bc he wants power
also jedidiah uses am and pm which is interesting bc i dont think sydney does
ok now i get why sydney doesnt like joshua
the trivia sections of fan wikis are my favorite thing on this planet. "it is unknown whether or not the color green exists"
btw they actually mention green eggs and ham in ep 1 so i think its at least a concept
i still hc trans matthew. no fan wiki can take that away from me >:(
juniper daddy issues confirmed??
"Well, we can — petition her!" (i will try to petition my father/ref sorry sorry sorry)
Wait, one more: Cunt. (uuh, fucker /ref. will anyone even get that one? its filled my brain. i dont remember any quotes before or after... it's taopp. uh, the scene with louis and jason in the hallway or something)
we love sydney trauma dumping 2 mins into an ep
i wonder if he sometimes forgets hes broadcasting to a bunch of middle schoolers
i wonder if joshua knows that middle schoolers arent usually 14
i love that sydney doesnt know what oatmeal is
sydney: if only my husband would play 20 dimensional chess w me :(
"Lucille has a flamethrower. You have to listen to what she says." the only lesson ever
natsume def has parent issues
just remembered that the trees produce defensive slick
i want teethh flowers :(
"and I fear that the end is near." (the end is coming, the end is coming! /ref)
"as sweet, and patient, and motherly, and forgiving as she is" so... not at all?
i love the silly old timey music omg its so fun
gasp cannon date. thats crazy. someone better have a timeline theory bout this.
aww no teeth flowers? :(
im concerned about sorens stones
is the ticking clock new? it feels new
oh huneee :(
just remembered the notes in the description. thats lore, right? prolly im too lazy to check.
Word to the wise: you ever come across that statue, do not look her in the eyes. (the fact that it rhymes too) (someone should make a cover of a word to the wise but with this line) (please?)
matthew appreciation time
sydney mommy issues?
jesus heck how many cabins are there?
is that what the pebbles were for???? im still scared.
sydney's silly drum roll gives me life
im actually so in love with matthew
sacrificial rituals, yay!
D: can they just be gay and happy? please?
they better get happy >:(
the spooky is rly goodd tho
mommy issues: the episode?
again, we love sydney trauma time before minute 3 of the episode
mila is a theater kid confirmed?!
sydney it seems like theres alot to unpack about your mom...
i dont think i want to know what horn sap is
"It’s all very delightful, b-but quite strange" idk the way he says that line is so vincentcore
im v worried for marie ann
"Don’t worry — they aren’t real ants. But it is a real log! " honestly id rather eat ants than a whole tree
"bending over to whisper in my ear." sydney is a short king <3
ohh the centipedes
i love the contrast of ideas its super spooky.
“I’ve just got to do better,” (never let yourself rest, they can try to despise you, but not your success) (also ambrose vibes. idk, but like maybe jedidiah has a similar 'if im perfect then people will finally love me' thing goin on?)
“Give me a hard time, okay? We both deserve that.” (more ambrose vibes)
i think hes looking for validation from lucille?
i like that the va's voice patterns makes it clear when hes talking quietly even though the audios still at the same volume
"I know I’ve constructed a few effigies in my time. " (effigies of the god appolo, dickweed /ref)
"There is a clear block of resin on my desk with a centipede inside. He wants to swap places with me. Lately, I am tempted to let him." spooky
(last couple eps had, like, news broadcasts at the beginning? idk if its been like that the whole time, but probably lore stuff.)
o no is it rock time? (also soren sounds like such a cartoon character i cannot get over it)
is mother of stones the reanimation lady from the death fields or whatever?
i love that the only actually vegan thing given to the vegans so far is assorted leaves
i have a feeling that normal day might not be normal...
idk why would worshiping a statue of stones to be reborn into a second life in the middle of the forest be illegal?
ohh its bc normal day i already forgot/
" Un-resurrect? Un… resurrect… Were we going to “surrect” the rabbit?" (i prefer 'mercy killing' /ref)
i want juniper and joshua rivals to lovers/rivals to friends content. just putting that out there.
sydney just kill the rabbit
ok the fact that sydney is worried about this death-related thing is really unsettling
aoisfeorgijefmoigjt4ri4tgoirjjitog this is so spooky i love it so much
sydney needs proper therapy
"I know I’m beating a dead horse, but the guy wants something from me, and he does something to me, and I don’t like that he just gets to be around no matter how much I protest!" (grace when max)
and it all comes back to control
poor baby boy
:(((((((((((((((((((((((
(poor boy, tormented /ref)
why he bri'ish
nevermind i dont want juniper content anymore
"jeddie, m'boy"
why does anyone like him
yes, yes rowan is handsome
himbo juniper, but i still hate him
"it’ll steal all your nutrients until you wither and die!" (its infectious, its deadly, its one to be feared /ref)
"I’ve always wanted to be killed by something that loved me." dont. dont say that sydney.
soren is the dark magic sugar daddy of camp. prove me wrong.
"Would a child really do that? Just come to Summer Camp and tell lies?" yes. they would.
song? song!!!!
if this isnt on the soundtrack imma be pissed
idk how to explain this, but salems voice is really sharp
i certainly dont want to know what ostrich cream is...
if this makes sydney bottle up his feeling and muck up his relationship with jedidiah more im not gonna be happy
(ok so i was just informed that its going to get worse and,, i dont know how to emotionally prepare myself.) (also its past 10:30 pm so bear with me if my thoughts get a lil incoherent. as if they ever were coherent)
cant remember if this happens with sydney too but theres static when jedidiah says the time. interesting
so sydneys smoke thing is unique to him??
we do love occupying characters with a physical task during conversations
ig marisol prioritizes efficiency and salem prioritizes the wellbeing of the kids
also salem dont badmouth sydnel like that
gay??
more confirmation that sydney needs therapy
im v glad marisols on sydneys side
jedidiah is bein kinda silly, marisols like 'he makes me uncomfy' and hes like 'just dont feel uncomfy'
if only sydney and jedidiah were as good at communication as the sapphics
love that sydney is like 'dont swear!!!!' but dumps all of his trauma on the kids
noo im sad :(
"It’s a laaaaaazy day today." <<<(me tomorrow after not sleeping all night)
nothing bad better happen on the speepy day >:(
"Men. Men sure are mysterious." mood
"I can’t describe how it feels to see a blue sky… almost… apocalyptic. " i love subverting expectations and turning something ordinary into something completely paranormal.
also vambrose moment (the apple)
o great thats where the canibalism comes in
eugh
i do not want
(and this is why salem is worried about you buddy. dont share stuff like that with kids.)
on the other hand kids arent, like innocent to this type of thing, really. i used to babysit my friends lil sister ( i think she was in 2nd or 3rd grade?) shed make lego skits about people murdering eachother, with like, a lot of detail too. and i dont think she was raised on particularly violent media. she played pokemon go on her parents phone or doodles in kids drawing apps. i think kids just kinda gravitate towards these kinds of things, especially if theyre told theyre not supposed to.
o no sydney being normal about the elephant man is not good
"You get hungry." hungy theme within his dreams?
"I like animals because they never forget to be scared: of starving, of getting eaten, of getting hurt or sick." also reaccuring thing from the bunny
and centipede thing. and ants. (im guessing bc its a dream it s lots of things relating to his current situation, especially thematically) (also i believe ants were brought up at some point when he said something along the lines of 'it felt like ants were eating my stomach lining'
the writing is so good its unfair
"I should never have forgotten to be scared." this is really interesting bc so far hes only been really scared by the elephant man.
"and none of the birds could speak English." ok i think its extremely disturbing to consider the fact that 'its a uniquely human thing to surpress pain' so the birds CAN talk but theyre still animals. they never forget to be scared and they never think to hide their discomfort.
also geez this episode is so dark compared to the others. it makes sense in universe, bc most of this is going on in sydneys head.
noo matthew was affected he better be ok after >:(
also appreciation for the slowing music, i didnt really register at first but thats definitely bc of the weird time happenings. and then the crank and it speeds up? super cool!
this series is so fun!!!
im a bit worried that jedidiahs 'extra special clock' may have something to do with his project? especially considering he has a lot of clocks around his office
more hungy, i think that bc he was hungy but didnt really realize it bc time weirdness, it seeped into his dreams somehow?
appreciation for sydney being able to eat garlic bread
also interesting thing, idk if its relevant in universe or just a writing thing, but no matter what happens with time it seems to always be resolved for sydney to know when 25:25 is.
oh fuck the canibalism is back
icky
i do not want
nope nope nope its getting worse
sorry im blood squeemish
more elephant man lore
kinda spooky. maybe his powers rely on electricity? or theres some greater creature hes afraid of that haas that effect
appreciation for the ending music of ep 16, and also just all the music in that ep.
hive? (the apothiosis is upon us?)
also really different music for the intro. idk if its like a genre or something related to hives, but its style really reminded me of queen b from nightmare time.
i want a waterslide to nowhere
i dont want a bri'ish man talkin bout 'beans on the cob' to be responsible for my safety, like, ever.
more sydney lore! poor bb sounds like he needs a hug. particularly from one Jedidiah A.A. Martin
i love the corporate bg music during harmlessmart its such a nice touch.
matthew matthew matthew matthew
fresh honeycomb sky.. hive theming?
this is exactly the shenanigans that middles schoolers get upto when theyre realeased into the woods
" So it has been, and so it will be; eternal in all directions in time." idk i just like this quote,
more ants
sports crystals = pokey?
bee tsunami
so he is co-nurse... when does jedidiah ever do his job? where is he?
noo sydney not the corner bread
comunicate!!! please!!!
"but he must love me, right?" :(((((((((((((((((
" — my journals." of course jedidiah only cares when it relates to his project. so quincycore, but if quincy didnt care about his bf.
D:
idk if i should keep watching this tonight. on one hand, if i keep watching i might cry bc sad, but if i stop i will definitely cry.
"He would always be the father, and I would always be the mother" (blitzstonecore)
"How he could love something so much… and forget to feed it." (he loves sydney, he just forgets to take care of him. in the way sydney needs, instead of the way jedidiah thinks he needs.)
a grey sky
reading wikis again, and the warriors thing is just such a mood, and idk if the creators understand dnd stats properly, or if he jus sucks that much at living, but negative stats are not possible. like players usually cant get below a 3. and -4 means he has like -7 con, so he has 1 hit points at first level, which is really pathetic. yes im going to nerd about this. (i think its super funny bc, like sure w a 19 for wisdom he probably wouldnt fail wis saves, but on the off chance that he did, viscious mockery, a bard cantrip, will knock him out no matter what, and if it rolls i think a 3 or 4 it completely kills him. he could be killed by a single insult.)
(ive been informed that this will make more sense once i finish it, and now im v scared)
(also prolly shouldnt be reading the wiki rn bc spoilers, but im doin it anyway.)
again, the stats are SO EXTREME. not as bad as sydney. he could feasibly weild a weapon (strenghth or dex if finesse i think) he has reasonable con which is good bc wizards have absolutely no health. idk whats up with his wisdom (ive heard it described as 'street smarts' and int as 'book smarts' but i think it kinda goes hand in hand with rizz for interactions, bc its used for like insight, which is kinda important to talk to people.) (thats actually something id say maybe doesnt work well with sydneys high wis. so far it seems like, while he is quite observant, hes not always super great at reading the room, or at least thats what ive gathered)
also idk about the charisma bc so far jedidiah seems a bit more put together in the persuasion/deception/intimidation area of things.
might eep now. that means its a great time for you to drink some water.
do it. stay hydrated. it mustve taken a ton of mental energy to get through this post, so you should take a break. get a glass of water, get a snack, take care of yourself. (sleep if its past midnight or if your name is rowan) then you can come back and finish reading this shitshow :]
ok its morning time to finish this (maybe)
restarted ep 16 bc i forgor
omg wait sydneys usin am and theres static
i love that theres a credit card stealing fish.
no sydney youre doing it again what did salem say
relation to sydneys worms?
"If he didn’t value these creatures when they were alive, why was he so affected by their deaths?" STOP NO IM ALREADY SAD I GET IT
and thats why sydney wont kill the centipede?
w h a t
spooky music
is the hive conected to the elephant man?
excuse me did he just call worms many legged creatures (ig like worms as in maggots and caterpillars and silkworms, not earthworms)
i love that theres always some counselors that dont get to participate in the camp meetings
sydneys impression of jedidiahs voice is so silly
"But I like endings; I like closure. That was the point of this whole exercise." more with sydney being more ok with death perhaps?
“Ha. Abandoning your child in a lake . . . . so that’s what motherhood means for you?” NO NO NO NO NO :(((
"But I am not my mother." so this is why hes so protective of the kids?
rowan hero?
this feels less like a hive and more like an egg
rowan hero!
bad smoke, different smoke?
hive queen
ye i was right, it egg
so they WERE gay at some point???
interesting that jedidiah doesnt mention the elephant man breaking into his office
he frames it as 'im worried about sydney' even though hes been ignoring sydneys concern until it affected himself
ye ye lucille gets it he only cares about himself and his project
hes emotionally attatched to sydney, but he doesnt take care of him, because he doesnt understand what it means to not be taken care of
sydney taught himself how to love, and he makes a conscious effort to try his best, but he prioritizes the kids because he doesnt want to be like his mom
ye ye lucille call out the lil guy
lucille has the same thoughts about the elephant man as jedidiah did before he tried to take the journals
noticed the clock ticking
ohh so spooky bad stuff in the journals?
jedidiahs trying to keep sydney safe, reminds me of the "it was cozy and safe, like a prison" thing
also lucille bein his mom explains why sydney and jedidiah are close?
jedidiah doesnt like death, maybe hes afraid of it. because its closure, like sydney said. bc he doesnt know how to care about something while its alive, so he settles for greiving when its gone.
also the ending 'do not anger it" is a repeat i think?
o no more tree stuff?
am again and static
at least today the vegans get somethig they can maybe eat?
so he is the assisstant nurse? confusion
buddy are you sure thats not a corpse
assuming the things jedidiahs getting shipped in are related to his project, hes making progress?
again with him prioritizes his project above sydney
also minor thing about the lunch b i feel like hes kinda underestimating sydneys intelligence (of course judging by the dnd stats its barely above average) and thats also v quincy of him
also i think he forgot to say the time, but theres static for dinner, prolly bc pm
interesting i dont remember when sydney switched. was it always like that? 19:04 PM implies a 19:04 AM, and thats a lotta hours
sydney appreciating nature
do you even like goo arts? arent you allergic to goo
ok really interesting that they bring this up bc sydney was just talking about how he and jedidiah had a bag of acorns that they took home? and they were fine
plant spooky
related to project?
:(
time static
:((((
his lil eep is v cute
not even chess. bro why do you even check on him if youre too tired to play chess
clock tic
physically safe.
D:
sad gay
more clocks tic
no you cant end the ep like that
sydneys still gone :(((((
juniper no one likes you dont laugh at your own jokes
oh but rowan honey is getting juniper to his job worth putting up with his horrible voice and personality
its extremely ironic that jedidiah is responsible for mediating counselor arguements when he doesnt comunicate with his own husband
"how do I explain to you that you need to care about other people?" DONT SAY THAt... it makes me sad...
"I worry about you sometimes, though, y’know?" heres a concrete difference between juniper and jedidiah: juniper actually makes the effort to care about rowans worry, even if he cant empathize with it. honestly i think this episode is included to show jedidiah through a different light, bc so far it seems like him and juniper are very similar.
they both rarely do their actual work, and have someone they care about who has a (maybe) irrational fear of something they cant understand
"You keep saying all this nice shit to him like it means anything and then consistently letting him down with your behavior." showing jedidiah recognises these traits in other people but not himself.
"Your actions are what matter to the people around you, not your words or your intentions or your thoughts or your fucking anything else but your actions, and your actions show Sydney loud and clear that you don’t give a shit about him." aaand he let it slip. he knows hes doing the same, maybe? some part of him gets that.
hopefully after this there will actualy be some kind of positive change?
not sure if this is important, as i havent been reading the other log thingies, but under minor insight into it repeats a bullet point
theory: the elephant man took sydney???
"I promise you kids I will attend dutifully to the nurse’s office in Sydney’s absence. Or, I’ll make sure someone is, at least." more jedidiah avoiding his actual job, similar to juniper
again sydney prioritizes knowledge above all else, maybe a similarity to jedidiah
"One by one, we all stay alive…" cant remember if this was like an endy thing but it sounds familiar.. either way super spooky
yvonne dyslexic not clickbait?
"Of course I can, it’s — plain English." ok interesting def a thing about either yvonne or jedidiah, bc like they dont see the notes the same???
"I wanted her to get angry. I wanted a fight. I wanted consequences. I… I wanted… it to matter." he wants closure. he wants people to care about him
"She was kind then. So was Jedidiah." :(
:(((((((((((((
"really hard to believe that he would just — get up and leave." jedidiahs frustrated by the thought that sydney might not care about him like he thought?
another mention of religion. yvonne also mentioned praying in the last ep, and a while ago sydney talked about jedidiah being a 'good christian boy' or something like that
nvm that was the beginning of the last ep
im very good at life as you can tell
sorry back to 22
this is so strange
nother mention of religion
"My heartbeat has synced up with the ceaseless ticking… " reminds me of a comment i saw relating jedidiahs clocks to his heartbeat? idk i dont remember
this is... really disturbing. i dont know why
"holy day". interesting
this feels manipulative
no no elephant man if you turn sydney against jedidiah i will be very angy
wait isnt this like cult tactics, like asking someone to meet up in a low stakes setting, love bombing, asking them to do something to prove their loyalty. (i vaguely remember this from some yt video i watched about cats)
"Show you a love you have never known." hes preying on sydneys desire to be wanted, to be cared about
this is so unsettling my god.
" Jedidiah’s search party " means lucille aproved it?
"I mean, y’know, live like you’re dying, right? " (exexprincecore)
"What do you mean “that’s one way to put it”? Yvonne, these are blank papers!" enchanted papers?????????
ok sydney dont lie to them'
"Um. Okay. Listen. Sydney… I don’t want to lose you." but he doesnt really care, still
:(
clock ticking
"the tree finds human happiness nauseating." huh.
D:
"violent criminal history in the state of arkansas" thats all i could catch from the news thingy at the start, for some reason its not on the ep transcripts :(,,, but didnt elijah say hes from arkansas??? is that anything?
theres still static with the time
theyre dead?? like straight up?? all of cabin widow spider?
oh ok theyre not fully dead
as, like, the only sane person who cares about the elephant man, i wonder what marisols reaction is?
sports field? what about the musically inclined crystals?
hhehehe forgot that soren sounds like a cartoon villain
he nya like cat
...does the project have some relation to necromancy????????
tap tap tap tap tap tap
so crackers and butter cookies count as bread???
" but without death, it will never live." (to show ya the horror of stayin alive) (sorry sorry sorry sorry)
"Not because we want to, but because we must." ^^^^
wait wait wait i think i remember the one by one thing. but it was "one by one we all survive" and then "one by one we all stay alive" or something lik e that, so its interesting that it changed.
"but I can’t believe any amount of money would convince her to completely ignore the safety of the kids." again thingy with prioritizing the kids
"Seems this strain of mold just turns us into zombies, like… interpersonally?" mood
hahahaha juniper already is like that so the mold didnt have any effect
hun he is definitely deliberately manipulating yp
ok so idk about any of endy bits so far but it keeps bringing up not angering it and they "youve angered it" and im guessing if anything it has something to do with elijah??? or the project?? maybe both idk
"It’s like you don’t even care about the kids here anymore." huh
and it all comes back to control.
"Jedidiah… [Sigh] this mediation session isn’t for you and me." they need to go to couples therapy
" [Whisper] I miss you. .... I’m such a fucking idiot. " :((((
can the gays just be happy? just for a little bit? can elijah go away? can everyone please for the love of god or whatever just be happy for one goddamed moment?
no am, still static
i dont think thats a river
also, 'rapids'? he said like a moment before it was still, which kinda means its just more lake, and the land partially seperating it is an island
"they’re hungry for a sense of intellectual superiority." i love that the creatures in and around camp are half spooky half completely mundane
ye for once i think junipers right its more like a moat
"For today’s breakfast we have an eel’s head stuck upon a 500-year-old sword and slathered with pea mush — a hometown delicacy suggested by Juniper. He says they call it “scrumpledydumps!”" (ugh. british people.)
hc sydneys proficient in animal handling
... he feels like a curse and not in control of his life :(
forgot about the macaronis
uhh wouldnt a bridge make the hunt like destroy cam
(the horse? the divorce? /ref)
"I can’t figure out what this poor fox eats." is this a reference to the fly thing? showing contrast bc sydney actually thinks to take care of it?
still no am or pm but theres static
:((((((((((((((((((
please let them be happy? (this is why i stil havent finished yellow jacket. i simply cannot handle characters being sad or the undeniable feeling that something terrible is going to happen)
"the tree also finds human fear nauseating." huh.
clocks. are we finally gonna learn more about the project/??
no more river
beeping
what the actual f u c k is going on
id let matthew poison me with arsenic
holy fucking shit
i love that sydney raises his voice when he does an imression of joshua
"You know, when I was a kid, a large portion of my daily diet consisted of complimentary condiment packets from the school cafeteria."...sydney are you okay?/?????
at this point the static is kind of comforting. the only thing consistent at camp other than sydneys trauma
more beeping
huh??? i swear hamsters have been mentioned before
ye ye ye
how does sydney know what hamsters eyes look like if theyve been extinct for millions of years????
" 2:01 AM" WHOA thats new.... is it bc of maintenence? perhaps?
still static
oh fuck no i forgor about the journals
more clocks
FUCK
(extra thing this kinda reminds me of holloweane a bit just bc of the like not being able to give info, of course ms holloway does WANT to, and does try to tell duke, but anyway)
(and now i gotta go do stuff. why did i agree to do stuff after that episode. damn. anyway. this is your reminder to take a break from my ramblings. get some water, stretch, focus your eyes on something that isnt a screen. and of course, if your name is rowan, you should sleep probably)
hi im back
birds. huh.
and a clock tickin, but it stopped before the click.
apple=jedidiah?
what about the second hand???
clocks have knowledge. sydney wants it.
this musics quite the jam
is petrfified wings a thing? it feels farmiliar
" 25-26-100 hour days." hwhat the hell
he wants to be a clock? he wants to be flexible?
is this the extra special clock that fucked up time in that one episode?
wheat feild? related to the death fields? i think sydney mentioned someones wheat allergy in that ep
this is v strange
something.. something train related happened to his dad?
is.. is the next event sydneys death? jedidiahs death?
thats why he doesnt like it? why hes scared of death?
knowledge. thats what they both seek.
FUCK NO elijah go away i dont like you >:(
of course, elijahs using him to get information. also HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ALL THIS (sydney please get away from that creepy stalker)
"hot tea with honey is good for sore throats." (goddamit emma now i gotta make a tea with honey /rref)
the weird audio thing in the background right after the episode title reminds me of my printer.
poor campers, no salt. nothing better happen to matthew >:(
at least sydney stopped spreading propoganda about the elephant man
oh also hes back to saying the time, am and pm, and our dear friend static
fuck
thats a lot of blood
w h a t
static please help me
what do they have against france
" it’s so funny to watch the fumes struggle to conjure anything worse than what I’ve actually been through." >:0
"[HE BUTCHERES THE PRONUNCIATION]" me too buddy, me too
did...did sydney get a clock?
o no are the penguins gonna come back
sydney are you okay???
all of this better be on the soundtrack
[HE BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE AND CRY.] (mee too budy, me too)
" Are you ready? Why did you lie?" w h a t
ok ok ok im definitely gonna finish this today bc if i dont ill stay up thinking about it anyway
more god, sin and death stuff. also mention of adam, possible relation to up and adam? (intro bit still sounds like a hyperventilating printer)
(this is so long i wonder if anyones actually made it this far. wait atcually the fandoms small so prolly.) (i bet rowans reading this. i bet hes not actually sleeping like i told him to, twice.)
NO ELIJAHS BACK (idk if anyone else is here but i am a member of the elijah hate club)
brought up the ceremony thing again. (still seems kinda cultish)
quiet beeps
louder beeps
this "stupid man" sounds a bit like jedidiah...
"He did not understand how to feed it" again the starving thing
or, is it elijah? idk im confused
also wtf is goin on w the accent
:(
so muse is definitely sydney, prophet is elijah, so yeah i think the architect is jedidiah
"I will be the one to crystalize the truth of your perfection" (uh oh is he gonna pull an ambrose)
kinda sounds like hes gonna set sydney on fire
FUCK SYDNEY YOU BETTER TELL JEDIDIAH (pls just make them be okay)
"…I’m going to start sleeping in the room with Jedidiah again." ok ok thats progress good.. maybe hes not so distrusting of jedidiah anymore??? at least hopefully itll help w his pain
silence.
(reading comments) i saw some ppl saying sydney died and got revived and that makes sense considerign the story but also WHAT THE FUCK
reason jedidiah wont tell him about the project? or why hes so intent on keeping him physically safe? (how much does he know about elijah, bc elijah seems to know a lot about him)
another mention of god in the news before the title
no more printer sounds? maybe i just wasnt payin attention
"Hey, what’s this co-nurse stuff? Aren’t you Sydney’s assistant?" joshua out here askin the real questions
idk whats goin on but somethng seems really off
clock
:(
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. that is no way to end an episode. again, this is why i cant finish yellow jacket. i do not like the sad.
idk if its just me but elijah sounded a bit different.
shit this is already episode 31.
trees
also um fuck what the hell is that title. the pyre??? sydneys just gonna go with it?! dude hes gonna set you on fire !!!
also side note taking a moment to appreciate the pacing of the series so far, the whole time its felt like just the right amount is happening, it never feels too rushed or boring. also the attention to detail and callbacks and references are amazing
oh fuck he mentioned the penguins. that means jedidiah will knwo he was looking for the journals
wow it s been a while since he talked about the sun or the moon, kinda nice to hear about the sky again. of course now im remembering jedidiah talking abotu the stars and im sad again.
the moon was in the sky all day? is that normal?
oh. she wants control. like how sydney talked to elijah. to prove he has control. to make a choice.
"was that being fed is not always the same as being nourished." back to the starving thing.
the clock is back
he misses jedidiah :(
still dont know whats goin on with the centipede
"I need to prove I’m worth something to you" (ambrosecore)
"My body is whole. My body is eaten.' spooky.
they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy
:(
32!
glitchy walky talkies? i think thats that kind of beep. something something something RADIATOR? idk as someone whos bad at listening, i kinda wish they put the beginning bits in the transcript, but i guess thats bc mysteries???
static is back. aw, the moon has returned to her duty.
"Ahhhhh, to overthrow nature…" reminds me of the natural order thing joshua said during the camp revolt thing
also i was so right about elijah's culty stuff
communication? are they gonna be happy, maybe, at some point???
...i may have read spoilers in the wiki that they get together in 34, so i hope that means theyll be happy.
fuck fuck fuck fuck noo no non on no no elijah stay away
"Am I alone… ? " D:
glad he has a gun. that definitely cant backfire in any possible way...
fuck fuck fuck why is cabin dungbeetle like thhis
sound design is still so fuckin sick
jedidiah describing sydney: he's, uh, fuck, idk hes hot?
hes so pathetic /affectionate
OH FUCK ELIJAH KIDNAPPED HIM!!! TONIES WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL
no no no you can t end on cliffhangers like that (i say as if im not gonna watch the next one in like a minute) (i could never watch shows or podcasts as they come out i would actually die from the cliffhangers)
oh wait its not the end of the ep.
again sound design is immaculate
if sydney dies at the end of this series so will i, just putting that out there. (oh same with jedidiah)
YO OMG HES SO SMART i forgot about the reflection thing. what did he steal?? idk he took something that was like 'the only way i could seee my reflection' or something.. that makes so much sense.
by the way imma be at least a bit upset if we dont get any more rowan content before the end of the series.
(last ep)
FUCK you elijah i hope you BURN in HELL (sorry to any non elijah-haters, but also, not sorry bc hes bad)
"every day is a living fucking nightmare!" i mean this is just a thing thats said and not, like, unique to the show, but jedidiah does say something similar earlier on i think
the whole love vs want think kinda reminds me of linda, and like wiley bein like 'you dont want to be loved you want to be adored' (of course thats more framed as a villain thing so..)
FUCK WAIT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???!!!!
"She keeps him like a prison." callback to the prison thing? the ''it felt comfy and safe, like a prison" i think it was something like that
so elijah is connected to the clocks somehow??
FUCK FUCK FUCK I FORGOT HE HAS THE JOURNAL
NO NO NO WHATS HE GOING TO DO
salamander man=elijah?
thats when he died???
second journal entry reminds me of, this is weird, but like dnd memes? and how magic kinda comes naturally to classes like sorcerers and bards, but wizards learn through study?
also im very confused by why the journal entries are so important, and why elijahs voice keeps changing. its really unsettling
so jedidiah was looking into magic to heal him?
"You turn it off and back on again." holy fuck
oh my god so thats why necromancy is such a reaccuring thing? and them being like , dw real necromancy isnt popular
the clock is also an interesting thing, idk what it means tho
aww the statics back :)
why is lucille like this
whats her goal in any of it
"This information… resists being known." (ms holloway vibes)
his, dad, died from that??
" Because I’m nothing without you, Sydney, I really am." (quincent vibes)
i find this switch really interesting bc up untill this moment sydneys always been the one, kind of, like, comfortable with death? and it makes sense now, i guess, because jedidiah was afraid of it, afraid that sydney might find out, and hed get hurt again
"But there’s something kind of sexy about that, though, right?" (a real stroke of luck, when the one man you can murder is one of the men you--- /ref) (sorrry sorry sorry this is a serious conversation ill try to be more normal)
awww gay (now for the happy? maybe? can they please be happy?) (sorry i said id be normal.. ill do that now < ---lying)
"Uhmm… [Sniff] hey, I, uh, haven’t seen you drink water, yet. I don’t think you’ve been drinking water — here. Drink. " (this is a reminder to all my friends who dont hydrate enough. do it. or you'll end up like sydney, nearly burned on a pyre by a weird russian guy in an elephant mask)
the gays? on their way to being happy? even just for a bit? not clickbait? (dw i know elijahs gonna come back and fuck everyone over in a lil bit. just let me have my moment)
"Also, he’s gone. For good." dude dont fucking jinx it!
"Seems the two of ‘em have gotten quite cozy. " (thats kinda gay dude)
i was so confused then i remembered that it was 20 dimentional chess
still kinda confused about the mirror thing
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THATS THE END
NO NO NO NO NO NO
e32uojkbwqlrhugejbkqfdshoihuqjbkefrbejwkghioujeklfnwmdlskjaipuojlknm, gnwklejfponrdsjlaiojfwejb
im sad now D:
anyway, i am sincerely sorry that you had to read this hot mess. uh, rowan, if youre still here. go to sleep.
ok now im gonna go read fanfic and hope it can heal me from this emotional rollercoaster.
bye <3
#camp here and there#chnt spoilers#cw violence#cw cannibalism#cw abuse?#cw gore#cw body horror?#cw death#cw animal death#cw cults?#uhh also spoilers for a lotta extra things bc i talk too much: spies are forever hatchetfield adamandi and toapp#marble musings#marble monologues
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my great aunt passed recently ;—-;
my great aunt passed away and she lived to be 99, with only 2 months away from her 100th bday. also side note the way most everyone in my family lives til their 100s lmao. i know two ladies who passed away at 101. honestly it’s incredible to me. my mom’s side of the family is extremely women-driven, like i cannot name all of the cousins my mom has but i sure do know they all went to the same all girls school lol slay queens we out here
but yeah my great aunt was the best tbh. she was always so incredibly kind to me even when my parents would drag me to spend 10 hours at my cousins’ house when i clearly did not want to be there and even when i was obviously weird and emo, she always said i was so beautiful and smart and if there was anyone who prayed, it was her. she always prayed for me, she would tell me lol i would hold hands with her as she told me stories about my mom when she was younger and it always humanized my mom in a way that i was like “omg my mom and i are extremely alike and idk what to do with that information but lash out more” but my great aunt was always so patient and listened to me too. she was just that person who loved everyone in a room, like kind of no matter what. my older cousin and i are the only two out gay people in this branch of the family and he’s feeling it. even my sister is feeling it too! and my sister is a tough nut to crack but she was always so endeared by her and she was, again, SO kind. in a room full of judgmental catholic ladies, my great aunt was always the nice catholic lady lol she would give everyone and i mean EVERYONE in the room a blessing before they left to go home. she would literally spend 1 hour giving everyone blessings as they leave and i still remember what she used to say because it was the same thing every time. i wrote it down in my notes and i will not share it because im crying as im typing this and i should take my corny ass home. yes im on my period again
and she would hold your hand while saying it and do the sign on the cross on you too. her hands were always very soft
damn i haven’t felt this hit by a a family member passing in a while. maybe it’s my period or the state of the world and maybe it’s this other unrelated awful piece of news that hit the community round my parts hard or overall just exhaustion from being mentally ill.
it’s hard not to wallow but i have to keep it moving. i recognize that i can still process many emotions at once and i know that i’m resilient, time and time again. i have a good support system that knows me and cares for me and i have to keep it moving. i help kids on a daily basis and they count on me to keep it moving. we out here y’all it’s that time of year where everything kind of turns into a blur for adults lol but i think we will make it out just fine…grieving can exist at the same time as being thankful and happy while i’m doing my thing…
oof yeah idk that turned into a lot but i’m glad i got the words out there. i felt them jumbling in my head all morning but i feel so much better now. might delete might not but whatever. i love you tumblr diary 🤍
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hello diary i’m back idk what is happening or why i ever feel what i feel, but here goes nothing
i’ve been feeling very creative today, had a terrible morning woke up insanely dehydrated, could barely move, my arthritis and psoriasis had flared up as well, i had to cancel my gig but they’re fine, they had other people on board. i don’t really feel like i missed out because i literally couldn’t have gone and needed to stay home and rehydrate, plus it’s like 37 degrees outside, i’ll stay home thanks. anyway, so i got some much needed rest and i ate and drank loads of water and i feel replenished now and i feel hopeful and creative and i wish i could’ve just started something, a project or whatever. but i have no many chores standing firmly between me and what i actually want to do. will is a terribly difficult thing to conjure. i had a telehealth appointment to get diagnosed w adhd in melbourne so i can access the necessary treatment, but they’re telling me it’ll be at least $800 and at least 4 sessions to just get diagnosed. and that to me is a huge undertaking. i told them ill think about it but what is there to think of, i know fully well i cant afford it. i wish i had an ipad to draw on. ive been wanting to draw something for ages and i could draw on my physical sketch book but i just haven’t? i just cant? its the guilt from all the chores i haven’t done. there’s a proper inspection due in 4 days and i just know it’s going to cripple me with anxiety as the date comes closer. there’s so much stuff that i want to do. and yet i do nothing. i’m not doing even 1% of everything i want to do, because im stuck doing 100% of the things i hate but have to do. when im older, i hope i get permanent residency in australia or any other first world country, i wish i have a safe and permanent place to live, regardless of size or quality. i wish i have someone who can help me with the tasks i struggle with and i can help them with tasks they struggle with and if we both struggle at the same things, we’ll understand each other, we can struggle and learn together. hopefully this will not be a romantic partner because i don’t think my brain is hardwired to deal with matters of the heart in a stable way. i hope that by the time i feel safe, the children of gaza feel safe too. i hope we win. i thought of them when i got dehydrated and worried that ill get a uti, i thought about how much worse they have it. i think of them all the time but especially when im suffering and im reminded that they have it many folds worse. i try to derive hope, strength, and gratitude from that instead of helplessness, and powerlessness.
i haven’t been able to take out the trash and get rid of my dead plants and they’re starting to attract bugs and i really need to do that today, i’ve been saying that everyday, it’ll just take seconds. i also am very close to having $0 in my account because i had to buy some meds and i found some vitamins for half price and decided to buy a whole buttload of them #forhealthiguess also its SO HOT. and im trying to avoid turning on my air conditioner because my electricity bill last month was $140??? like why? it’s a crazy world out here. crazy expensive. for the millionth time, i really should get a real job soon. or try to. i doubt i’ll ever have enough to be independent. i fear i’ll always be at the mercy of my parents. i fear i’ll heal too slow to keep up with the damage.
all day i did nothing. that’s not true, i went grocery shopping and i made meatballs, and spaghetti and it turned out great. the one thing i always cook successfully is any kind of pasta, never fails. i feel 50% guilty for not doing anything important today. such as taking out the trash, cleaning my room, etc. it’s the one thing i hate doing: house chores. makes me wanna scream, cry and throw up. i made a mistake, last night i accidentally left my earphones on the couch at reception downstairs and hadn’t even realised until earlier today when i was leaving the building and saw it on the couch. i feel so relieved that i live in a place where nobody stole it all day. part of me feels like i don’t deserve to live so well. because for nearly a year, i have been living wonderfully, everything’s going so well, and all my demons are inside of my own head. this is new for me. there’s no actual threat, i think. still feels like there is. i’m less overwhelmed than usual, but still pretty overwhelmed. there’s always too many ideas and not enough ability to implement them. how do i feel chaos and clarity simultaneously. i just need a break from this mental torment. i think getting my apartment clean will definitely help with that. but it’s such a big task, even thinking about it makes me fall to my bed and start to rot. suddenly i find that my body won’t move. adhd sounds like it’s so quirky and funny until you’re surrounded with piles of garbage and flying insects and there is a mysterious sticky brown patch underneath the fridge that just will not move. until there’s no space to walk from one end of the room to the other without stepping on and crushing things underneath my feet. it feels as if my brain has acquired an endless supply of shame and guilt. i will probably not feel focused until my room is actually clean. clean enough to be inspected. clean enough to maybe even have visitors. i get anxious just thinking about the prospect.
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OUR SKYY 2 IS HERE ITS FINALLY HERE THIS IS NOT A DRILL
first lemme make myself an ice tea and then we’ll get into the ridiculous commentary (which will probably be entirely keysmashes but anyway)
fingers crossed for something benchopper
also i find it rly interesting that the series i finished with when going through all the our skyy shows is the one that theyre start with
also also idk anything about the order for our skyy but i do know that there’s no way bad buddy isnt the final one
ICE TEA HAS NOW BEEN ACQUIRED, NOW WE SHALL COMMENCE THE COMMENTARY (that a lot of you seem to like, why do you like my commentary)
literally shaking what the hell
STOP IM GONNA CRY, HE HAS HIM AS HIS LOCK SCREEN????
WE’RE LITERALLY LIKE TEN SECONDS IN AND IM ALREADY FILLED WITH TEARS
IM SORRY, IT’S BEEN THREE FREAKING YEARS??? WHY WERE WE NOT AWARE OF THIS INFORMATION
ok so judging from the intro, it’s nlmg first, and then simm, then THE ECLIPSE MY BOYS AAAAAA, AND THEN VICE VERSA, AND THEN MSP HEGUERIHBGKREJB, im literally vibrating with excitement rn help, and then abaab, AND THEN BAD BUDDY GERJHBGUKREJBKGURBJ, AND THEN 1000STARS
ITS LITERALLY HAPPENING IN FRONT OF MY EYES RN AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL
HOLY BAJOOLIES
HE HAPPY
HE;S SO FREAKING EXCITED TO SEE HIM
NO STOP IM GONNA CRY AGAIN
palms hair is so freaking pretty what the hell
i sense a sponsorship
palm is so happy to see him and he’s trying to be sweet but nueng is moody and i guess i get why but also pls just be happy to see him again
okay they are happy now yayyy
yup i was right theyre sponsored by suzuki thats kind of hilarious
damn, two sponsorships within like ten minutes of each other, they really went all out
CRYING AGAIN, THAT’S PERFECT
well that guy was confusing. ‘you guys are soulmates and youre fate but also you cant be together but you will be but you wont’
HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THEM, NUENG WAS ABOUT TO SAY HE’S DECIDED TO STAY IN BANGKOK AND FINISH HIS STUDIES THERE RATHER THAN OVERSEAS
bRO HAS A SWORD?? I WANT A SWORD
also like oh shoot they might be about to die
but also just imagine walking around every day with a sword
the power
id never like actually hurt anyone with it and id probably rarely take it out of the sheath
but seriously. sword. its so cool.
not cool that theyre probably about to hurt nuengpalm and probably that poor woman
holding hands and running for their lives, absolutely nothing new here
heh i paused it at a funny moment
he’s such a good bodyguard/protector/boyfriend/whatever ghrjgbhr
ill show you what happens to heroes. they wake up in historical clothing.
why are the roles suddenly reversed
and why is palm the only one with knowledge of the present time and the only one without a clue about whats going on in this au version of events
DAM OKAY THAT WAS QUICK
see, at first i was pretty sure he was faking it cos it didnt make sense that only palm was aware of the present, surely it would be both of them, but then he confused me, but its fine cos he remembers him YAY
IM SORRY, LITERALLY ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT ONE TIME IN BBC MERLIN WHERE MERLIN GAVE ARTHUR AN ORDER
ALSO PALM IS LITERALLY JUST DOING WHAT NUENG DID AND ITS SO FUNNY
wait this entire thing is a complete repeat of the series just switched and historical
their first major interaction was being introduced via parent sending child to work for the other child
their second major interaction was at the pool, and in this version its by the lake
their third major interaction is the master making the servant eat with them because ‘theres too much food for me to eat by myself’ when really its just bc he wants to spend time with him
wait please let chopper and ben be in this historical version of life
phum is there
surely its plausible to think that benchopper could be there too
i freaking love these two
IM SORRY????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT
NOOOOOO I WAS WRONGGGG
NOOOO CONFLICT
its okay tho theyll iron out the conflict, its fine
see, they figured out the conflict
well that was wonderful but it is now 1am so i need to go to sleep
goodnight folks! im gonna spend the next 24 hours Thinking About Them
#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep#our skyy 2#our skyy 2 nlmg#nlmg#never let me go series#never let me go the series#quodekash finally watches never let me go#palmnueng#nuengpalm#pondphuwin#phuwinpond#pond naravit#phuwin tangsakyuen#benchopper#chopperben#perthchimon#chimonperth#perth tanapon#chimon wachirawit#still cant believe its here and ive literally watched the first episode#but i still cant comprehend the fact that our skyy 2 is actually happening#help
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I saw Barbie last night, I dont think i have a long film review of it for yall but idk I'll put some thoughts under a readmore I guess?
-Right off the bat, I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was a fun pink poppy romp. Thats about what I expected of it, and thats pretty much what I got
-Its not particularly radical in its gender/feminism takes, its very basic, which, I saw a number of ppl mention that before I saw it so I wasnt expecting anything radical. It couldve done better. it was. fine. im shrug about it i guess.
-My mom enjoyed it and was apparently not expecting any sort of emotional depth or story at all so it caught her off guard. I heard her crying. she cries easy at movies. I'm glad my mom liked it. Maybe she'll absorb some of the very basic feminism it drops idk.
-I knew the Kens adopted patriarchy and introduced it to Barbieland but it felt lile that happened very fast, idk.
-The ending....I. is her going to a gynecologist supposed to be like. shes gotten a vagina by deciding to be human?? or is she trying to schedule a surgery or something? that felt pretty weird to me if im honest, i thought it was gonna be a job interview or smth... Especially with how everyone was like "Barbie is ace (heheeh i agree) cos she has no genitals! (sorry what. excuse me. wanna run that by me again?)" like okay that makes that headcanon reasoning even more dewply uncomfortable that it already was?
-I enjoyed weird Barbie. i wish theyd cast someone else cos iirc ka/te mckin/non was a transmisogynist? unless she apologized or said she changed her mind on the topic since like 2017?? but i havent seen anything? idk. just. annoying to keep platforming these ppl. i guess theres probably other actors involved that have shit views of trans ppl. whatever i guess.
-I did dress up a little. i feel like my outfit had Weird Barbie Vibes. maybe ill post a pic.
-I did enjoy it and it had a number of shots and or transitions i liked, i think the one with the disco ball to the moon or whatever was enjoyable.
-god we really are so weird about barbie
-it just feels factually incorrect that all dolls pre barbie were baby dolls? idk. im sure it was the most common kind. but idk. not to be weird about The History Of Dolls but like. the porcelain dolls from the Victorian era. idk if those count as baby dolls. iirc those were to help young girls practice prepping dead bodies of loved ones for funerals or smth??? but i guess porcelain dolls have a sort of babyish look about them. and are fragile so you cant play rough with them.
-Like i Know its a 2hr long toy commercial for mattel but also god that cant be right. even if they werent filling the same niche as barbie as idk basically a fashion doll? there had to be other dolls right?
-I know the flat foot thing is Supposed to be over the top and silly for them all to get upset about but also tbh. as a bitch with falling arches the way some of yall make jokes about flat feet still is uh. well. rude. but also lmao man. the day my arches started hurting for no reason while i was barefoot did sorta feel emotionally like her feet falling to the ground lol.
-i want to introduce barbie to margot robbie's harley quinn owo. i think that would be Fun :3
-i want Ken's job. how do i do Beach as an occupation.
-I actually liked how they handled Ken and Barbie's rship til the end. i feel weird about that ending overall and also it feels weak wrt her dynamic as Ken. they make him grapple w her not reciprocating his feelings the same way but then she just leaves barbieland anyway?? and ig they dont get to explore a friendship or qpr dynamic. ok. its fine i guess.
-her saying she has no genitalia felt so transgender in a way im not sure it was intended to. ken saying he has all of the genitalia felt even more transgender. headcanoning them both as extremely transgender in fun weird new ways and no one can stop me.
-Allan is my favorite character i think. bro me too
-bibbleless movie. add bibble.
#toy txt post#barbie spoilers#barbie movie#everyone kept trying to get my dad to come see it and like.i get it.but genuinely he would hate it even if not for his conservative bullshit#he hates goofy fun movies. OR. he wouldve actually enjoyed it a little bit and been REALLY ANNOYING ABOUT IT bc he would never admit it#and insist he hated it#and hed enjoy the ken patriarchy thing too much#basically im very glad we didnt drag my dad along cos i have to live with him and i think he would be insufferable about it#he has no appreciation for any kind of whimsy or fun! he would hate this silly movie#also this was the first time id been in a movie theater since pre2020.#i enjoyed dressing up in a silly little outfit. but i think i wouldve been happier to wait for it to be out of theaters tbh. theaters teste#tested my patience even before covid like oh im gonna sit uncomfortably in this chair and crane my neck up at this screen and i cant pause#it and theres no captions and people are Eating all around me and now i go and its all the same but im the only one wearing a mask so i dont#get to have a lil snack either and i still have to hear ppl eating around me and part way thru the movie someone across the aisle was making#some kind of horrible very wet and loud gulping noise with their drink or Something?? and i did feel violent about it#i would never be violent about it but my god do i feel like biting. you know. anyway. not sure if ill bother seeing any more movies#in theater now. i just would like them at home. idk#i will give props to barbie. it was like kovie theater loud but at least it wasnt giant major booms and inaudible ass dialogue
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I hate premiere pro,
ive been working on this fucking project for half an hour and im already crying, all i had to do is rotate the clips and put them in the right order, but it keeps fucking crashing and none of the tutorials make any sense, my wifi has been dropping in and out of existence for seemingly no reason and i dont know what a project panel is, why am i so fucking useless, why cant i figure this one simple thing out, why do i always feel so fucking useless when i cant do something with premiere fucking pro, im trying to do something fun for my self but of course my fucking technology curse wont allow me, I wish i was better with computers, i wish it came easier to me, i wish i just fucking understood, why are there so many fucking buttons that do literally nothing, why did i drop out, why am i so useless, why am i so fucking useless. i was fine with two needles breaking. but the moment something is out of my control i completly lose it. why why why this isnt fair this isnt fucking fair i want to die. why wont things just go the way i planned, this isnt beneficial to anyone why do you hate me so fucking much.
at least now that ive had my dip i know that nothing major can go wrong for a while. luckily it was just this and not, idk, being rejected from a my dream school. this is alright. Ill figure it out. Ill just get a different software, there will be downsides to that, like there wont be as many tutorials, but if its more intutive than thats probably fine. i dont need all that fancy darken/lighten and different layers or whatever, i just need to rotate my clips, put in the proper order and than do a voiceover, i hope theres something simple like that thats free and doesnt have a watermark
and i found one, its a phone app, but honestly, i dont care anymore, its about making the video, not making a grammy award winning fucking cinematographic masterpiece worthy of an oscar, if i wanna be youtube famous i gotta start somewhere, and i also i promised myself that i didnt do this for fame but for fun. so the moment i started taking quality over enjoyment i should quit. (a rule that i have not been keeping very well) but from now on, hopefully, i will. just easy fun videos. I have a microphone so the sound will be nice. and then when i get famous ill buy a fancy camera and ill hire someone to edit everything and ill never have to hurt my fingies typing every again.
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sending another 🌻, go apeshit!
omg thank you
now i shall talk about the other thing i love with weird shitty fans: yes
TL;DR at the bottom
i have been saying for a while now that no one hates yes more than yes fans and i stand by that. i just think thats so fucking bizarre. to those of you who dont know, theres a thing with yes fans where they HATE the current yes lineup and are literally begging for them to stop touring. all they ever talk about on yes pages is how "sad" the current state of the band is and whatever. i agree with them on some points (like geoff is totally off his game) but i think its completely insane for them to scream and cry and piss their pants about them making new music. like yeah i dont think its that good either but theyre musicians and if they want to make music let them??? like what in the fuck are you doing demanding they stop putting out music? just dont listen to it dumbass
as for them touring.... i wish they would replace geoff lol. everyone else is generally fine but geoff was fucking up so hard in the one vid i saw him in. but then, if they replace him with another person who isnt already a part of their history, everyone is going to scream and cry and piss their pants even HARDER saying that it isnt yes anymore. like, people said it wasnt yes without jon, and then they said it REALLY wasnt yes without chris, that it's a cover band now (they say this a lot), so if another member leaves theyre just going to lose their minds- but it would make them a much stronger touring act. i think it would solve a lot of their problems idk.
idk dog. those fans will tell you theyre the REAL fans because they have this idealized version of yes in their heads, the version that has both jon and chris where no other lineup will do, and that their idealized version is the one true yes, but i just think thats so stupid. i dont want to sound like a hypocrite being all "roxy music isnt roxy music without these guys" and then turning around and saying "yes is still yes even without these guy" so ill try to explain myself... i think the difference between the two groups is that yes is a spirit, a sound, a way of being, whereas roxy music is more conventionally a band. i think these yes fans im referring to think of yes too much as a band and not enough as an essence that is deeper than the guys in the band. it sounds hippy dippy and it is. i think thats what yes is all about- that hippy dippy essence, and that it's not contingent upon the people in it, and that it has never been. roxy music, on the other hand, does not have that essence running through it, rather it IS contingent upon the men in the group. does that make any fucking sense
this is all to say though that i get all of their points, i just dont agree with them. what i dont understand for the life of me is why they still engage with yes stuff if all they have to say is negative things. negativity and hatred are so anti-yes and yet thats all they have to offer. its soooo easy to not comment things. you saying "this is not yes!!!" one more time does NOTHING. a real conversation thats thought out is welcomed and should be encouraged, but trifling comments like that are so useless and only breed negativity, not conversation. people should be critical about the things they love, but not in a snotty childish way. yes is my life and its the life of so many other people so i understand why they get fired up, but like i said its just childish. they deserve more than an angry facebook comment.
TL;DR some yes fans are dumb
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1657.
Have you ever cheated at a card game?
i definitely have, not in a bad way, i just concealed my cards
Tell me what colors you’re wearing right now?
im legit wearing all grey
Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend?
of course haha
Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already)
im already an adult. im longing for the day that our home is built though
Have you ever felt like your heart actually stopped?
no
Are you a fast runner?
hahaha not at all
What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat?
ive never vowed to not eat something but theres a lot of foods that i dont like haha
Do you have a “poker face”?
nope
Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed?
if its during something serious, then yeah
Do any of your friends shamelessly burp or fart in public?
burpers lol
When was the last time you had a good cry?
its been a long time
Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you?
yes :)
Have you ever had a “thumb war” with someone?
yeah, i hate doing it, i always lose
Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover?
i honestly dont think i get hangovers, like ever. the most ill ever feel after a night of drinking is super tired the next day but no headache or anything like that
If you need a job, will you take whatever you can get?
ill obviously be picky about it and if the salary is right, ill go for it
Time goes by faster as you get older, don’t you find?
definitely!
Have you ever had a panic attack?
only once
Are you deathly allergic to anything?
no
Have you ever had a mouse in your house?
yes, years ago. terrified the shit out of me
Do you know what you want for your dream house?
yes, i hope i can achieve it one day!
Have you ever seen the movie the Notebook?
yes
If you download torrents, what torrent program do you use?
i dont download torrents anymore
If you go to school, will this year be different?
no school
Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex?
yes
Are you able to count to ten in another language?
yup!
Is there something you know you have to do, but haven’t done it yet?
yes but ive been trying!
Is anyone you know really religious?
hmm yeah but mostly older people
Can you sing?
i wish, but no
Have you ever read “Gone With the Wind”?
no
Are your eyebrows naturally thick?
the eyebrow shape is fairly thick but i dont have a high volume of brow hairs if that makes sense
Have you ever attempted to cut your own hair?
yes haha, it was a fail, i tried to give myself bangs. it was horrible
Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick?
not really, im fine as long as i know what im talking about
Have you ever wanted to tell someone how you felt, but never did?
yeah always
What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed?
hm i dont remember, i havent really been watching sad movies
Do you check your email daily?
yes
Have you ever breathed in helium?
yes
Do you try to be confident and positive about your future?
definitely
When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself?
theres always a point of time everyday where i feel disappointed if im not using my time correctly etc, or if i shouldve worked out instead of doing nothing etc
Have you ever owned a garden?
kinda!
Who was the last person to text you?
my fiance
Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other?
no
Do you ever find yourself trying to be the referee amongst your friends?
nah
Has a laptop ever burned your legs?
no
Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow?
not that i know of
Who was the last person to flip you off?
idk, probably a friend
Are you doing anything the day after tomorrow?
i have no plans at the moment
Anyone’s birthday coming up soon?
my friend, jess and my god daughter
Would you ever wear fake eyelashes?
yes, i have but i suck at applying them
Do you make the effort to smile at people?
not really, ill always return it if someone smiles at me though
Are you good at following directions?
ehm im not bad
Have you ever just screamed really loud in an attempt to feel better?
haha no
Are you in any way, still a child at heart?
haha yes, life was so much easier!
Quality triumphs over quantity, correct?
sure
Have you ever danced when there was no music playing?
look, i probably have, i just dont remember when the last time was
Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care?
yep!
From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall?
yes
Have you received a text today that made you go “wtf”?
no
When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap?
only when they have the cloth napkins of course
Are you even feeling the least bit tired?
yes im tired -_-
Is there currently any caffeine or alcohol in your system?
nope
Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?
either or, i dont remember the last time i even used a pencil though
Are your biceps at all noticeable?
haha no!
Have you ever seen a walrus?
yes
When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule?
nahhh
If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel?
sure!
Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer?
they could, i guess we’ll find out in the future
When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too?
always. im a sympathetic cryer
Were you single last Valentine’s Day?
nope
Do you tend to jump to conclusions?
nah
Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays?
yes
Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing?
yes lol
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tea of my love life
feel free to ignore :)
i dont usually do this here but i just want to let everything out.
recently my ex broke up with me the day after we completed 14 months together, and it hurt to damn much even though i was planning to break up with him since like a month before.
he has emotionally drained me so much that it only took a night of crying over him and thats it. i cant even remember his voice or how he looks now. all i feel for him right now is pure rage. like i cant even explain the amount of rage i have towards him.
i'm graduating highschool in like a weeks time and a few of my friends from my batch have organised a party for the full batch, so naturally everyone is going. but this party hurt his male ego so much because he wasnt the one who organised it (he can't see others doing better than him) so him and two of his friends have planned another party 4 days later than the original one.
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so now ill have to give you some back story.
basically, his friends group and my friends group dont have a really great history together; they always think they are better than us. so we never like got on well together. there are a few nice people in his group but thats an whole another thing.
now, my ex and his friends want their party to be successful because again male ego, so they texted my friend and told him that they are organising a party and shit and want to know if we were interested in coming. my friend did not know what to do so he called me up and asked me if our group would go.
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okay so now another back story,
the day that they are planning the party is also the day our school is giving us a farewell. so like the party would be after the school farewell. like everyone from school would directly go to their party.
but now obviously no one would be interested to meet the same people all over again in like a span of few days cause not everyone is friends with each other. it would have been fine if it was an exclusive thing because half of the batch doesnt get along well.
plus my group already had plans after the school farewell to go for a nice dinner, just us, with no one else, because it has been long since all of us have gone out together.
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so now when my friend called me and asked me, i told that we already have a plan and that we wont be able to come.
my friend then told this to my ex and his friends and they were like 'no no you all have to come, it will be fun'. but my friend was adamant and he was like 'im sorry we already have plans, you all continue'.
hearing this hurt his ego and he started calling my group "gay gang" just because we are in touch with our emotions and love to spend quality time together as a group alone. i mean i dont see how this is an insult??????? like is he out of his mind?? just because your group doesnt like you that much (honestly he isnt even part of a group because hardly any one likes him, because of his terrible behaviour. only like 2-3 are his friends) and doesnt care about you, you can say whatever you want.
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a few days pass after this conversation and i get a whatsapp notification from him.
and mind you, this is the SECOND TIME he broke the "no contact" thing in a week!
one more thing, he was the one who removed me first from his private account and he bloody even blocked me on spotify- like the fuck??????? very immature.
first he asked for something that he had lost in an event, i had given him the details of where to find it while we were together but he texted we again asking me for numbers and location (irrelevant but whatever)
and now this new message was the invite to this party, which i remind you, my whole group REJECTED. the next day i replied with "cool" (ik i shouldnt have replied but idk i couldnt help it).
he could have asked his other 2 friends who are helping him organise this party to send it to me right? cause like its not like i havent talked to the other 2 guys. you can say that i am friends with them. they could have sent the invite to me rather than him, but he didnt do that. which is very irritating because dude wanted "no contact" and now is trying to keep bloody contact!
later that evening he added me, my group and only a few people from our school to a groupchat for the party.
let me remind you guys that this "party" that he is organizing is only for "the batch of '24" from OUR school only. but when i checked the people list, there were barely any people from the school and most of them were outsiders from freaking different schools who we know.
so tell me HOW DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?
wouldnt you rather enjoy with your own friends than trying to mix with some random people at a party???
and there are barely 90 people in that group. my school batch has 270 people!
idky he is doing this because ive talked to a few people other than my group of friends and asked them if they are going to this party and everyone is like 'we already had plans' 'not interested' and shit. so when no one shows up to this party, its just gonna hurt is ego even damn more.
its laughable at this point.
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this is just a small part of what happened after the breakup, if you want to know more let me know lmao
sorry for this rant, but had to get it out somewhere.
also i real hope no one from my school is one this app
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