#im not sure how else to tag this? just dont know how to format writing for tumblr
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“Y’know, I don’t really think it was a good idea to let Han Sooyoung get that job at the university.”
Yoo Jonghyuk blinks up at him, but turns back to picking apart a pomegranate. Kim Dokja reaches over to grab a handful of seeds, and Yoo Jonghyuk obligingly pushes the platter closer.
Yoo Jonghyuk says, “She’s just going in for some guest lectures. It’s not much of a job.”
“Yes,” Kim Dokja agrees, “but she could say anything about us and those kids would take it as gospel.”
Yoo Jonghyuk moves onto cutting up strawberries. “What are you so worried about? She won’t lie too much. History books exist.”
Kim Dokja steals a slice of strawberry this time. “Yes, she is a good writer. But she is not always a good storyteller.”
This time Yoo Jonghyuk looks up placidly. “She wrote both of our stories.”
“She’s giving lectures in order to give insight into the Scenarios and how they changed perspectives and ‘altered human interactions’. They also want a first hand account of the scenarios by one of the few people who recently participated in them, and how it impacted her. But Han Sooyoung tells stories in a way that makes the reader have to figure it out themselves, and they have at most an hour and a half. No one will be able to get anything out of it aside from how big she thought your chest looked with a belt across it.”
Yoo Jonghyuk processes this information, and promptly goes back to cutting fruit.
“It isn’t your problem.”
Kim Dokja sighs and leans back in his seat. His cane rests across his lap, and the sunlight feels warm from where they’re set up at a table in the large garden.
He starts again. “I’m just worried as to how it will go. She’s a good storyteller, but I don’t know if this will work out as well as we hope.”
“Calm down. If she can write a book about our journey, she can give a lecture to a few college students.”
Kim Dokja tilts his head back against the chair, shading his eyes with his hand.
Quietly, he says, “Maybe you’re right. I should have a little faith.”
Yoo Jonghyuk hums quietly, and Kim Dokja looks up to see him looking at his phone.
“Hey, come to think of it, isn’t it lunch time? Are you not cooking anything?”
Yoo Jonghyuk taps out a text and sets his phone back on the table. “The kids are bringing food back with them.”
“Mmh.” Kim Dokja leans back in his chair with a smile. Then, “You should come sit with me. The shade is nice.”
“You aren’t a cat.” Yoo Jonghyuk continues cutting fruit in the sun, but once he finishes, he sets the fruit aside to dry and sits beside Kim Dokja on the hanging bench. Kim Dokja moves his cane to rest on the ground and slides over so Yoo Jonghyuk can sit down. Their thighs press together, and one of Yoo Jonghyuk’s arms slides around the back so he can rest his hand on the back of Kim Dokja’s neck. Kim Dokja doesn’t mind.
The party rarely use excuses to touch him now, opting for the straightforward approach of doing what they want and letting Kim Dokja get used to it. A hand on the back of the neck, an arm looped through his, a pair of legs thrown across his lap, a child asking to be picked up. Maybe once he would have thought it to be overdone and unnecessary, but it feels grounding, and warm. They don’t mind when he does the same, so he doesn’t ask them to stop.
When the kids arrive, they find the two sleeping against each other on the hanging bench, hands tangled together in the shade.
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It’s only when Kim Dokja is getting into bed when he remembers his train of thought. He’s already got his arms full with Lee Gilyoung and Lee Jihye, snuggled up against him under the blankets, so he waits until Yoo Jonghyuk slides in next to them to talk. The kids are already passed out, so he speaks over their heads quietly.
“About Han Sooyoung, it’s not that I don’t have faith in her. I just don’t want her doing it alone. She’s already had to shoulder so much in carrying out stories, and I know she wants to, I just don’t want her to feel like she has to do these things alone.”
Yoo Jonghyuk stares at him in silence for a while, sheets pulled up to his chin and hair disheveled. “That’s rich, coming from you.”
Kim Dokja wrinkles his nose in indignation. “Hey, I’ve been making progress. I’m not that kind of guy anymore.”
Clearly ignoring that, Yoo Jonghyuk yawns widely and asks, “Then do you just want to go with her?”
“Absolutely not. I can’t believe how many times I have to say this, but I’m a reader, not a writer. I don’t tell stories.”
Yoo Jonghyuk shoves his face into the pillow, clearly tired of their conversation. “Then what do you want.”
“I just want someone, anyone of the party to go with her; support her while she’s there. They can give some anecdotes to make it look like they’re also sharing their viewpoint.” Kim Dokja absentmindedly blows one of Lee Gilyoung’s stray hairs out of the way.
Yoo Jonghyuk sighs. “We’ll figure it out together later. Goodnight, Kim Dokja.”
“Aish, goodnight, Jonghyuk-ah.”
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omniscent reader#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#dokhyuk#yoohankim#joongdok#my writing#smiiiiles#sorry im posting some of my old writing bc i wish i did smth with it#so at least it goes SOMEWHERE#this was from 2020 wrow#im not sure how else to tag this? just dont know how to format writing for tumblr#ill just do this for now until i figure out smth better
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hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...
(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....
also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.
i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.
i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....
i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.
(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)
sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better
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Hey love so thank you smmm <3 it helped a lot and I literally noted everything down!! If you don’t mind I got a few questions :(( so obviously its dumb but how would I make a master list and and what are ideal first posts I could do and how could I attract people to my writings? im sorry my questions dumb but im slow… tysm !! 💕💕
-💁🏻♀️
GIRL DONT EVEN SAY THAT IT'S NOT A DUMB QUESTION AT ALLLL!!!!
I literally was like...blink..blink. when i saw people making masterlists for the first time
(BTW, THIS ONLY WORKS ON A COMPUTER, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT IF YOU'RE ON A PHONE)
guide on how to make links:
SO! Just like how you color text (by highlighting over the text like you're gonna copy and paste it) a bar of commands will pop up
so, the fifth bubble that looks like 2 chat icons will be there click it and it should say https:// . now, have a separate tab open with your fic on it, make sure it's on your profile and not your dashboard lmao. go up to the search bar and copy it, go back to the other tab, into the chat icons, and paste it into the bar with https:// on it.
now, you have a link
guide on aesthetics:
a quick and easy way to an aesthetic master list is going and typing "eren headers" obvi eren doesn't need to be a part of it but ya'know. "white headers, green headers" and stuff like that, that should look like this:
be sure to tag the person who made the header or at least reblog it, it's the right and nice thing to do because you're using it.
you can do this for your pfp, just type in "pink icon" and you'll find some cute ones :3
now, your masterlist should look like this (again, highlight text, go to the little separate bar that says (Regular) and change it to bigger or biggest if you want your intro to your masterlist to be bigger:
💁♀️'s masterlist
fic 1
fic 2
fic 3
header from: @hyugasite
and boom. of course, if you have any more questions don't be afraid to ask!
now, for your first post, if you're really truly blank make some headcanons. I wouldn't recommend smut right away because it's really embarrassing when you're just starting up and the field is competitive. obviously, post whatever you want. smut is the most attractive genre but is also very bloody!! (lmao) I kinda think its slow right now so post some smuty hc if you have the guts!!!
hc are suuuuuuper easy and fun! short attention span readers love it and blank writers love it!
lets say it's about fluff, you'd have it be like this:
eren x fem!reader
cw: just fluff
bf!eren who does this and that and this
bf!eren who is so cute yada yada
and you'd do a couple more of those, it's super nice if you're just trying to test the waters, If you want recognition I say do something a little different than just "bf!eren"...something like "rockstar!eren" or "model!eren" and format them like, "rockstar!eren who takes you to all his concerts" or smth
another way to attract people with your writing is, again, banners! it's what catches the eye, humans love pretty images!!
bf!eren headcanons <3 header from: @winknono
bf!eren who does this and that and this
bf!eren who is so cute yada yada
.
also, get mutuals! reblog posts and go to some writers' asks box and ask to be mutuals or smth!! mutuals arent ppl you talk to a bunch, its just people you cant talk ideas to and just be cool with.
anywho, I think thats all! Don't be afraid to ask anything else and your questions arent dumb!! <33
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Blog Info (Rules and Such)
First off, apologies for how rough this is...I’m not very good at this kind of thing. And honestly, I’m pretty chill.
Basic Info
This blog is an 18+, Multiverse, Multimuse OC Blog with a few select canon characters from other blogs. I have many characters that I’ve developed for more than half my life at this point.
The main Universe of this blog is a story I’ve written (on paper, sorry you can’t read it). And while it will be referenced regularly, very little interaction will happen there.
I interact with many fandoms, though primarily Pokemon, Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel, and Sonic.
And last, I am 99.9% mobile bound. I just find it easier, honestly. And because I can use it at the same time as doing just about anything else. As such, trimming is not exactly easy for me.
Rules
Do not Follow or Interact if you are under the age of 18. If you do and I find out, you will be blocked. This is a heavily nsfw blog, both for dark themes and smut. I tag things and will often readmore when I feel like I should, but I dont like the idea of minors even potentially seeing it.
The above does also include intermittent reblogging of NSFW art, though mostly artistic nudity and such. Often sensual rather than outright sexual...but sometimes the latter if I particularly enjoy a piece.
I am Selective but not mutual exclusive. I’m willing to give just about anybody a chance, but I do have limits and standards. And I do favor Mutuals over non-mutuals, as well as anyone I consider a close friend. I most often dont follow someone as a means to keep my dash clean.
I do block on site anything that even remotely seems like a bot. Super weird names, no icons alongside an empty blog. I think at this point most of us readily recognize them. So if you are interested in following, make sure you do at least the basic steps to show you are a real person.
I am pretty chill, and there’s nothing that really bothers me trigger wise. However, like many, I have no interest in drama and callouts. Keep me out of your problems, I’m here to have fun. And as someone who has suffered a lot because of false accusations and bandwagon culture...I just want to do what I do.
I can write anywhere from one liners to multi para, I do my best to match when the mood sets in. I’ll do any sort of threads, and have basically no lines (outside the obvious) to what kind of content might be involved. Smut, light violence (i.e. pokemon grade), fluffy threads, and crack are the most prominent.
I try my best to respond quickly, but muse comes and goes. I’ll draft when I dont reply, and as long as a random hiatus doesnt hit me, I should reply in a relatively good time. Please don’t bother me too much about it.
Unless otherwise specified, like something tagged for someone specific. Any ic post is free to be responded to.
I accept IMs, but only for OOC. And I don’t rp on Discord...the format just burns my brain out.
Not sure if there’s much else, rules wise that I can think of. Like I said, I’m not good at this, and I’m chill.
A little bit of mun stuff
I go by Raven, though I also accept Eclipse and Dusk as names. I am a 30+ mun, Cis-male, homosexual and mixed-ethnicity between Caucasian and Native American (a near 50/50 split).
I am autistic, have various forms of anxiety and depression, and adhd. I try my best to do what I can here, but it’s not the easiest sometimes. I have been known to go on long hiatuses and lose muses entirely for periods of time. It’s not on anyone but myself when that kind of thing happens.
I’ll be working on getting my characters moved to Posts so that I can link them better, since I know many people are mobile these days, and browser page links are iffy at best. Posts work better...when they are ready they’ll be below here. I’ll also give a list of my more important non-character tags when I’ve compiled them
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Zenni - Main Muse, Most Active alongside Primal.
Tags: Renegade Raven [Zenni], Renegade in Hell [Goetia], Primordial Powerhouse [Primal], A Shadow’s Commentary
Aurora - Lower activity muse
Tags: Queen of Ice [Aurora], Glacial Commentary
Descartes - Relatively Active Muse
Tags: Gilded Angel [Descartes], Gilded Commentary
Anarak - Fairly Active Muse
Tags: The Living Paradox [Anarak], Quantum Commentary
Ruby - Highly active muse
Tags: R Rated Rabbit [Ruby], A Lover’s Commentary
Siegfried - Low Activity Muse
Tags: Steel Commander [Siegfried], Commanding Commentary
Glitter - Slightly Active, Pokemon OC
Tags: Silent and Sweet [Glitter], Silent Commentary
Lion and Rosebud - Divergent Lion from Steven Universe + Anthro AU (Normal and HH/HB)
Tags: Cotton Candy Caretaker [Lion], Wayward Warrior [Rosebud], Every Rose Has Its... [Thorn]
Discord - Fairly active. Canon divergent MLP muse
Osirus - Slightly Active, Pokemon Only (For Now)
Tags: The Archivist [Osirus], Gathering Information
Toril - Low Activity, Pokemon OC
Tags: Psionic Prodigy [Toril], Psionic Commentary
Lux - Low Activity, Pokemon OC, Mostly commentary
Tags: Galar’s Light [Lux]
The Twins
Damien - Helluva Boss OC
Tags: Soul Betwixt Worlds [Damien], Keeper of Balance [Neutral], Divine Adjudicator [Celestial], Heart of Hellfire [Infernal]
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I WAS TAGGED BY @witchy--mama A LIL WHILE BACK
I DIDNT FORGET ABOUT THIS I SWEAR
JUST EVERY TIME I REMEMBERED I WAS ALREADY IN BED FGJFHG WHOOPS
Relationship status: I has girlfrien!
Somehow! Despite my Ridculously high levels of trust and commitment issues! :D And it has NOT yet fallen apart despite my Debilitating fear of intimacy! I am VERY grateful for how fuckin patient she is with me and I do NOT understand how on EARTH I managed to get her to like me, but I will take it!
Favorite Color: Pink and Red! both are Perfect uwu
Favorite Food: uhhhhhh...... logically thinkin about it, I think the only answers i CAN give are pasta, chicken nuggets, and salmon. not combined of course. well... actually no im ngl, that sounds like itd slap. just a load of buttery pasta with chopped up chicken nuggets and smoked salmon, covered in cheese. god thats the dream.....
Song Stuck In My Head: uhhhhh... i dont know im too dissociatey to have one. and as soon as i tried to figure it out, i was Gifted with "Neptune's Jewels" cus i was listening to night vale while curled up in bed.
Time: 11:47pm
Dream Trip: God I'd love to do a roadtrip across the US. maybe its not as romantic (i nthe anne of green gables use of the word, not the lovey dovey use) and stupid and silly as tv makes it look, but like,,, it sounds like a fuckin Riot.
other than that, im so DESPERATE to go back to new york, i had an AMAZING time when i went with uni, and itd be Wonderful to go without havin to follow rules of other people
Last Book Read: i have been unable to Actually focus on reading since uni (uni broke me, i miss books), and i cant listen to audio only format things without gettin distracted, so i cant do audio books. the last thing i read bits of was "The Beatrice Letters". actually, was probably the last thing i Fully read.
Last Book I Enjoyed Reading: see above. I feel in Love with the way lemony snicket expresses love in that book when i was a kid, and i still think it's the Height of romance.
Last Book I Hated Reading: if you think i can remember that far back you are SORELY mistaken
Favorite Thing To Cook/Bake: [cries in "cooking hurts me nowadays"]
Favorite Spare Time Craft: i.... am not sure what this means exactly?? but i do digital art when i have the spoons, im trying to learn guitar, i want to learn to write again and have begun to Dip my toes into "flatsound style" poetry, and i want to learn mini painting but i dont have great lighting in my room, so ive yet to finish any of them.
Niche Dislike: does this mean its something i hate no one else has heard of? or something that only i hate that everyone else seems to like? if its the former, then i dont know, cus i dont remember things like that. if its the latter, BOY could i come up with a LIST and a half, theres a Reason i labelled myself a hipster as a teenager. like,, off the top of my head, the beatles, beyonce (her music, not her as a person), star wars (one of the dullest things i was forced to watch), harry potter (not so controversial now, but as a kid and teen HOOO BOY people thought you were a freak for it), marvel and DC films. i know theres more, but i honestly prefer to Not think about things i hate.
Opinion On Circuses: the Aesthetics are my life, and im Exceptionally sad that i never got to run away and join the circus, and i am filled with Immense jealousy when i remember that thats Essentially what my mum did when she was in her 20s, why cant i go to italy and be a circus person, this is bs
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i am FAR too lazy to tag people, so if anyone else wants to do this, feel free babyyyyyyyyyy
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long post with just my musings about nothing. more a journal entry than anything else. all lighthearted stuff.
dont know if im in a mood but im considering stepping away from this blog and the internet in general for a bit.
been on here to much lately or something plus some other stuff. idk i may disappear briefly.
hesitant to do so because i think my unintentional attempt to keep stuff in this blog's queue is why my brain hasn't just rejected it. like thats not a big consideration point but it is there.
tbf there aren't many points here at all. i just kind of started thinking about this like two hours ago so yk, i may wake up and forget i said anything.
been less engaged in some ways anyway. and more in others. been on here for long periods but i normally try add a bit of commentary in the tags if only for my own memory and amusement. but i haven't seen much that ive really wanted reblog to begin with and ive had nothing to say about anything. also as i think i said in the last two posts here now i just dont have anything to say at the moment. nothing understandable and shareable at least. got real life stuff happening too. had a lot of work to do. and a lot of stress. not actually that much stress probably , not compared to normal because like every situation is a high stress situation to me. just how i work. but i may well be forgetting how stressed i've been. i'm not sure.
idk. this blog does help me sort out my brain some. which is a point to the the other side. this post is basically a journal entry. and thats really how i use this blog most of the time. rambling about random stuff. its more consistent than any journal i've kept or have tried to keep. wondering if it would be unreasonable to make a private sideblog to actually just use as a journal because apparently tumblr gets the thoughts out of me.
i should make a journal tag. maybe. i don't know. for some reason i have more faith in tumblr not losing all my stuff than my other digital note taking and journal stuff. and generally i think better in typing. i do have a physical journal. i just don't think as freely in it, my hand gets cramped or i cant write fast enough for my thoughts. so i like digital stuff. and apparently my brain sees tumblr as more likely to not lose my stuff and die than anywhere else. at least out of places that i like the format of. don't like the idea of dumping this all in a word doc for some reason. it would make more sense. i could stick things on a usb but no, instead here i am with my billion word tumblr post that anyone can see. maybe ill start copying things into word docs after the fact idk.
i dont know why im so afraid that all my shit will be deleted. i really havent lost that much digital stuff over the years, nothing important to me i dont think. not accounts, not saved info, not my own pieces of stuff.. maybe one or two things i dont remember. i dont know why i just dont trust stuff to not get lost becuase of some screw up. idk. its 3:30am i'm going to sleep now. i had more work to do but im tired and i need to do more stuff tomorrow so i might as well get some sleep.
goodnight tumblr. or goodmorning or whatever time it is when this gets released, imma queue it.
#lol this does not need to be public#but it's here now so i guess it's staying here#they them#en end#or something idk
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OCD Subtypes for the RPC
Part 1 is here
Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.
Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person. Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.
Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.
There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.
Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.
OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.
If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.
But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.
So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.
Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.
Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.
I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.
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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.
Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame. The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.
We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].
It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.
Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.
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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.
Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.
For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.
Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.
Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.
Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.
Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.
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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD. Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.
The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.
Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?
Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.
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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma.
If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point.
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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;
Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered
Trigger: seeing a squirrel
Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day
Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault
Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,
Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening,
Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.
Cute right?
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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...
Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.
It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes.
My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!
Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs.
You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’
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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those. Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).
I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.
Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)
Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.
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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..
Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.
Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.
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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’
This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.
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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.
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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.
Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest.
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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.
This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.
To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.
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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible.
This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’
It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.
(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)
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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.
Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.
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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.
However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.
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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.
Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness. There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.
This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.
For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence.
This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.
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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.
Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities. There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.
Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?
A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.
The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype.
Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)
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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.
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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD. With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows.
We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things.
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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.
Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.
This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.
It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’
So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.
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hello, came here for tips if you dont mind–! ive been wanting to roleplay on tumbr but i dont know here to start, i assume one would need a tumblr sideblog dedicated to their muse(s)? but also how does it go down in DMs? do ppl use // or ** to still talk out details or just get right in when you reblog "send (something) for my muses reaction"? ive roleplayed on discord but somehow i feel like tumblr roleplay is too forgein to me :') just general info would be nice when you can!
not at all! i’m not the best at explaining things, but i hope this helps a little bit!
1. yup, a dedicated sideblog or fully separate blog would be best. and also make sure you have an about page and a rules page easily accessible, so people know the basics of your muse(s) and what you are and aren’t comfortable writing!
2. sorry, i’m a little confused what you’re asking, so if this isn’t it, please feel free to message me again to clarify --- if you’re asking about the instant messaging system, i’ve found most people solely use that for ooc communication, just to talk back and forth between writers. and whether or not to plot things out before answering a meme someone sent in? that’s completely up to you! if you have an idea, run with it! if you’re not sure whether the other mun (writer ) would be alright with it, yeah, send them a message like ‘ hey, i have an idea for X meme, would it be okay to do Y? ‘ to double check.
in my opinion, there’s not really a wrong way to rp here. whether or not you format, or use icons, or what kind of writing style you use, what tagging system you use, whether or not you want to use the IM system for in character stuff, ect. it’s all up to you! the only thing i’d say is make sure your rules and bio / about pages are clear and understandable, and give people an idea of your writing / interacting preferences, and everything else is just mustard! i’m sorry if this wasn’t super helpful. again, i’m not the best at giving general advice. but if you ever have any specific things you want to know about, let me know, i’ll see if i can answer them. best of luck with your blogs!
also, anyone else who wants to comment on this and give other advice, feel free!
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Kinktober Day 25 - Filming
Pairing: Jae/Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
Tags: Phone sex, filming, deepthroating, vibrators, masturbation, long distance, female reader
Kinktober 2019 Masterlist
AO3 Link
(A/N: Yall this was so hard to write i literally finished it late last night and i was so fuckinf done with it lmao but like i dont hate it as much now as i did last night so i hope yall enjoy lmao also the formatting on this is terrible im sorry in advance)
You hated it when Jae went on tour, of course you were proud of him for being successful enough to spend so much time touring, but you hated that it meant you hardly got to see him. He did his best to facetime you as much as he could but most of the time he was tired and you understood that. Tonight though, you were determined to get his undivided attention. You had put on his favorite set of lingerie, the lacy fabric emphasizing all his favorite parts of your body. You waited until the sun was in the perfect spot in the sky, the golden light making your skin look like it was glowing. You took probably a hundred pictures until you were satisfied and laid down on the bed to look through them. You waited until you were sure he was done with any schedules before sending him a couple of your favorites. His response was almost immediate:
Are you trying to kill me??????
Just trying to make sure you dont forget about me 😘
That's all?
Not trying to get anything else?
I'm sure you're tired so…
I'm never too tired for you
We're almost back at the hotel gimme a few and then you'll have all my attention😉😉😉😉
You laughed, happy your plan had worked, you decided to use the few minutes you had to grab a couple of your favorite vibrators. You were already planning how your conversation with him would go as you laid out the toys neatly and snapped a picture.
(Image Attached)
Pick one 😉
Are you trying to get started without me?
Absolutely
Heartless
😘😘😘😘
Pick one now and I'll wait I swear
The one I choose isn't in the picture
There's a box in my underwear drawer
…....why?
I was saving it to surprise you when you needed it and apparently you need it
You squinted at your phone suspiciously before walking over to the dresser. You opened up his drawer and dug through it quickly finding a small box. You opened the box to reveal a small U-shaped vibrator. Your phone lit up with a notification:
I bet you found it by now
It's bluetooth
So I can control it
From here
This is the most romantic gift I've ever gotten 😭😭😭
You're annoying
We're at the hotel I'll call you when I get to my room
I'll be waiting 😉
You sat down on the bed and messed around with the vibrator flipping through its settings and seeing how intense it could get. You jumped as your phone rang, scrambling to pick it up before taking a deep breath.
"Hey." you answered the phone, not letting your excitement show just yet.
"What made you so impatient today?" you heard the noise of his hotel room door shutting as he spoke and you smiled knowing that he called you the second he was alone.
"I just missed you, is that a crime?"
He laughed, "Only when you tease me like that when I'm not alone."
"Well then I guess you better punish me." you said putting on an overdramatic sexy voice.
"How am I supposed to punish you from so far away?"
"You're a smart boy, you'll think of something." you teased.
“Did you test out the vibrator?”
“Of course.”
“Turn it on.” you did as he told you and waited for a few seconds before it started changing speeds and vibration patterns on its own until it stopped.
“Did you stop it?”
“Yup.”
“It works.”
“God technology is incredible.”
You laughed, “Are you gonna marvel at it or are we gonna actually have some fun?”
“Bold of you to assume I’m not already having fun.” you heard him shifting around, the unmistakable sound of him shimmying out of his pants coming through the speaker.
“Without me?” you gasped doing your best to sound offended.
“For someone who was so impatient earlier you sure are taking a long time to get this started.”
You sighed, laying back on the bed and setting the vibrator on your stomach, “Well how do you want me to start?”
“Well it’d be great if you could touch me instead of having to do it myself.”
“Pretend it is.” you said, your voice lowering as you tried to set the mood, “Imagine I’m there, wrapping my hand around your dick.” You heard him grunt as he touched himself and smiled, “You remember how I do it, right?”
He groaned, “You -ah- you start off slow.”
“Do it like I would.” you instructed. He groaned but you could tell he was doing what you told him, his breathing starting to get heavier as he teased himself. “Let me see what you’re doing, baby.” you said, upset that you weren’t getting the full experience.
“Shit -ah- hold on.” you heard him moving around, about a minute later you heard the sound of a notification coming through. You checked your phone to find a video that he had sent, you pressed play, the video only filming his hand on his dick you watched his slow teasing movements.
“God I wish I was there to make you fall apart.” you said as the video finished.
“Use the vibrator I wanna hear you.” he whined, you smirked at how needy he was as you moved your hand down your body letting out a soft groan as you slipped your hand into your panties and rubbed a finger over your clit. He went silent, listening to your soft whines as you teased yourself, you slipped a finger into yourself, getting yourself well and truly worked up before grabbing the vibrator. You pushed one end inside of yourself and let it settle into place, the U-shape allowing it to press up against your g-spot and clit at the same time.
“Okay, baby, do your worst.” you said with a grin, you jolted as the vibrations started letting out a moan as he turned it up high. “Fuck that feels so good.” you gasped out, your free hand gripping the sheets tightly.
“Do you wanna know what I get off to when I’m away?”
“W-What?” you heard the sound of another notification and checked your phone to see that he had sent you another video. This one was older, you remembered when it was filmed, “You still have this?” you asked.
“Of course it’s my most prized possession.” you laughed as you pressed play, immediately you were greeted by a video shot from Jae’s perspective of yourself on your knees in front of him. You watched as you wrapped your hand around his dick, stroking him a couple of times before taking him into your mouth. You heard him groan from behind the camera as you took him fully into your mouth.
You couldn’t lie, watching yourself suck Jae off was getting you worked up much quicker than you expected, “Wow, I see why you like to watch this.” you said between moans and whimpers. You watched as in the video you deepthroated Jae, gagging around his dick and bringing tears to your eyes.
“It’s so fucking hot.” Jae moaned out, you felt the vibrator turn up a level and gasped.
“God I wish you were here.” you moaned.
“You would feel so much better around my dick than my hand.”
“And you always fuck me so good.” you could feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm just thinking about being with him.
“I’m -ah- I’m close.” Jae gasped.
“Cum for me, baby.” you moaned. You heard him cry out as he came, the sounds pushing you over the edge. You moaned loudly, the vibrator working you through your orgasm, you switched it off before it could overstimulate you, knowing that he was too distracted to turn it off. You were both silent, breathing heavily as you came back down from your highs.
“That was fun.” Jae said after a few seconds.
You laughed, “I miss you.” you said softly.
“I miss you too.” he responded, “Now go eat something, I know it’s dinner time for you.”
“I’d rather talk to you.”
“Same here but I’m not gonna let you starve yourself for me.”
“Can we facetime after I eat?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then fine I’ll go eat.”
“Good, I’ll talk to you later.”
“Hey.”
“What?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” the two of you quickly said your goodbyes and you sighed as you hung up the phone before getting up to get yourself food as promised.
#kinktober#kinktober 2019#day6 smut#day6 jae smut#jae smut#park jaehyung smut#jae x reader#kpop smut#jae oneshot#kpop oneshot#day6 oneshot#p.jh
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toyhouse tutorial 101
yo heres a tutorial 4 how 2 upload characters 2 toyhouse cuz its weird n complicated. this is mostly 4 my friends but any1 can rb it xoxo. under tha cut its long as FUCK
step 1 is mouse ovr that submit button n click tha character button. its on tha very top of tha screen
after u do that u will see this page. lots of fields and boxes very scary. theres evn more if u scroll we will get 2 those
click tha “choose file” button under tha “upload avatar” box n select tha avatar 4 this character. u can also crop it using tha slider and drag tha picture around
check out my sexy cursors frm totallyfreecursors dot com. that looks nice :)
now scroll down a liddol and u see all these things. character name is preddy self explanatory, just type tha name. dont worry abt tha next row yet ill make a part 2 4 those this is Basics. u know wut tags do they make ur character show up when u search stuff. idk if any1 actually searches stuff tho so its not rlly important
this sexy bitch is tha fields spot <3 i usually put stuff liek full name n pronouns in there. press tha add fields button 2 add and tha x on tha lesf 2 delete. u can also click n drag tha blue arrow 2 move then up n down if u accidentally mess up tha order or smthng. tha “field name” box automatically bolds btw
this looks good :). u should probably keep it preddy short bcuz of tha way it formats, dont put liek their whole backstory here
this is tha main text box. THIS is where u put tha whole backstory. theres sum standard formatting tools most word processors hav but its mostly just a huge box u can write w/e u want it. u can also put html code, sum ppl hav preddy fun layouts but thats complicated who cares
if u made tha character by urself u can skip this part. but if sum1 else made it u gotta credit them. if they hav a toyhouse account press “on-site creator” and enter their username, maybe ask them abt tha other boxes i dont actually know wut those mean. if they dont hav a toyhouse enter a url 4 their other social media. i made tutorial guy by myself tho so i dont need 2
when it looks good click create character! u can always come back n edit later dw if its not perfect. tha upload image tab is a mini version of tha next step ill get there in a sec
so now ur page looks liek this. heres how all tha steps above look on a completed profile
u may notice evn tho tutorial guy haz an icon, there r no images in their gallery. tha icon does not count as an image u hav 2 upload it separately or u wont b able 2 see it fullsize
there r 2 ways 2 upload a new image, tha top bar under submit, and tha left sidebar on ur characters page
they both redirect 2 tha same menu. step 1 is choose ur file, standard image file choosing thing. toyhouse supports pngs, jpgs, and animated gifs! u can put a caption if u want, most ppl dont
if you used tha upload image button on ur characters page, tha character will b in this field automatically. u can also add more characters if there r multiple ppl in tha drawing w tha add character button
heres tha artist credit field. ur own username will b here by default. this is similar 2 tha design credit above, if tha artist haz a toyhouse put their username, if they dont click “off site artist” n enter a url. i think ur supposed 2 credit if u use a dollmaker but im not sure. u can also put multiple artists if its a collab
this is tha watermark field. by default i think it puts a huge ass toyhouse watermark ovr ur nice art so change both of these 1 “full size” there wont b a watermark. other than that dont worry abt it
finally, this is tha n$fw warning field. if ur art is a liddol Saucy make sure u put a warning. i dont know tha specific policies that classify whats “mild s*xual content” and wut is “explicit s*xual content”, maybe check tha rules n tos (those links r at tha very bottom of evry page). theres also a field for gore, and a more general “sensitive content” field. if ur not sure, just click that and u can put a custom warning. when you mouse ovr tha image tha warning will display
now we hav an image :) u can look at tha whole gallery by clicking tha button on tha left there, and it will automatically display a few images on tha main profile liek this
thats it!!! u did it u read tha whole tutorial! this is a very basic thing theres a lot more features but i dont want this 2 go on 4EVR so im ending here. if u hav questions ask in tha forums or see if u hav friends w toyhouse accounts who can help :)
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HOW I RUN MY BLOG.
SPEED: i ... uhh well it depends. if im in the zone i can volley back and forth pretty fast. but i do get tired of it after a while and there is no real formula for figuring out what a while is lol. when it comes to not being in the zone... well i take my time and only reply when i feel i can. i work 40 hrs a week at a crazy job that leaves me going fdkljdlgfdjlgf all the time but i AM on new meds that might help me be faster. so the answer is SHRUGS
REPLIES: ehhh. sometimes the shorter the better bc i like a lot of dialogue. i’ve always been like.. more screenwriter-y in the sense that if the actions are short and sweet with good dialogue then it helps me visualize it like a movie in my head. however there are times i enjoy more descriptive prose but the tone varies per thread. in general you can expect most of the narrative captured is a reflection of how ridiculous it is that donald is thor is donald, you know? so anyway whatever you wanna reply with is fine. icons? sure. no icons? also sure. idc my dudes. formatted? whatever man.
u reply i draft until i can find it in me to reply. if u drop a thread idc. u can just tell me if u want or never reply again and i tend not to bug abt it unless we talk a lot ooc then i might be like hey yooo or whatever but even then im just like meh.
STARTERS: i do not typically write opens unless im feeling it mr. krabs. i love when i get to either send a meme and it turns into a thread or u send me a meme and make my reply a thread. it feels easiest. i live for working off prompts.
INBOX: open to whatever. ic memes are for mutuals only. everything else is fair game for other blogs. i reserve the right to be like lol nah and delete an ask.
SELECTIVITY: so what i typically do is look at the blog and look for rules and good bio page of some sort. without those things, the bio page for OCs in particular, im like lol nah. if i think ur writing and mine won’t mesh well i might not follow back. if i think ur character and mine won’t work out well i won’t follow. like idec if ur my best bud, if u muse is mr. so and so and im not feelin it for thor im not gonna follow. i support u my dudes but from a healthy dash experience distance. anyway that said if we write and ur like “bro u should check out my writing partner” and give me suggestions i dont mind checking them out.
WISHLIST: dang i wish i could come up with like... a running arc of a story i could play through out this blog with all characters... idk, it’s mostly on me to come up with something good. my other wish is for ppl who have read my bio and understand who my thor is to show that they know that thru what their character observes abt thor. like ppl who come in writing against me thinking this is regular thor make me :(
HONEST NOTE: i am on new medication that has changed my mood/ability to stay up and do things like crazy. so far so good but i can’t predict how i’ll settle into it. it’s only been about two weeks. if it remains good then i might be around as much as possible but there are def. times when i’ll be absent as fuck for a week or something
u can ask for my discord but tbh i dont chat a lot and i feel like a jerk sometimes bc its def been pointed out that i dont always like... ask if ppl are ok to talk abt a thing or see an image before i send them so i try REALLY hard to be cognizant of that and to respect boundaries. sometimes its just easier to chill and shut up idk. don’t take me being quiet as a sign of hating u, it just means im doin me and i dont got nothin much to say.
TAGGED BY: @nolaroots
TAGGING: whoever
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Kari’s Marvelous 2k Writing Challenge
Thank you so much, guys. I honestly didn’t expect this blog to grow the way it has when I started it. I love this fandom and I love reading for these characters as much as I love writing for them, so let’s celebrate with a challenge, shall we?
Since I reached the milestone before my 1 year anniversary I will as open up drabble requests using a prompts list - I’ll make a post about that as soon as I can.
Also, check out and please participate in my Spread the Love event for my 1 year anniversary.
This challenge is for you guys to have fun with. I set the due date a few months in the future to make sure you got plenty of time to complete it.
The prompts for this challenge are all dialogue prompts. They are all a little odd and a little sassy. Cause well I am a little odd and sassy ;) On to the rules and have fun Y'all!
Due Date: June 1st, 2019
Word min: 500 words
Word Max: 6k words
Style: It can be a drabble, one shot or beginning of a series. Do not put in in the middle of an ongoing series since I plan on reading them and don’t want to read 10 parts of something to understand the entry.
Fandom: MCU - mostly
Will you read and reblog my fic?
You betcha :D I am behind on reading for previous challenges so patience is a virtue here
When Do I Post?
Right now. Sign Ups start now and end when there are no more prompts or when the due date rolls around
Genre: Anything you want. You have to be over 18 if you write smut and you always have to warn accordingly! Fluff, angst, AUs, and crack are all welcome.
Limits on what you can write: No Mommy/daddy kinks, no non/dub con, no A/B/O, no merpeople. No half animal anything, please. No mobster aus. No monster porn (this counts Venom and Hulk) No glorification on cheating (it’s okay as a plot device but use it with thought), no wife, s/o (even exes) or actor hate in rpfs! - if you got any questions at any time feel free to send me an ask,
NO BDSM INVOLVING BUCKY - NEITHER IN SHIPS OR READER INSERTS! PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF HIS PTSD! DON’T TURN HIS ARM INTO A KINK FOR ANYONE - IT’S A DISABILITY AND CONNECTED TO GREAT TRAUMA.
Format: State in your A/N that it is for my (until-theend-oftheline) Kari’s Marvelous 2K Challenge. And use the # Kari’s Marvelous 2K Challenge in the first 5 tags.
Pairing and word count also have to be easy to spot in your header!
Submit: After you posted on Tumblr you have to add yourself and your fic to this doc. If you don’t do this you will not be added to the masterlist I create when the challenge is over. If you got questions - just ask :D
Doc link it case Tumblr is an ass: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16FmPbXuA6oF23M5qiR5jRCSiUpaW_RiDIPUHG_LziBk/edit?usp=sharing
How do I join?
You pick a prompt and a pairing off the list. Send me the prompt number along with a backup just in case and your pairing of choice. ASKS ONLY!! REPLIES, REBLOGS AND IMS WILL BE IGNORED!
There are no limits on the pairings but I only allow 2 people per prompt so think before you sign up. If you don’t think you will be doing it then don’t take the spot from someone else. For now, 1 person can sign up 3 times (one prompt per story).
Prompts and people are under the cut.
Pairings
No male readers - gender neutral are fine otherwise female.
General Fics - character or rpf are both fine.
All genders, skin tones etc. OCs are welcome as well.
Sister/daughter/romantic/friendship reader pairings for following are all fine - just let me know which (I prefer romantic or friendship but no pressure):
Actors
Sebastian Stan
Chris Evans
Bradley Cooper
Chris Hemsworth
Robert Downey Jr.
Tom Hiddleston
Elizabeth Olsen
Tom Hardy
Characters
Bucky Barnes
Steve Rogers
Thor Odinson
Tony Stark
Wanda Maximoff
Sam Wilson
Brunnhilde/Valkyrie
Natasha Romanoff
Clint Barton*
Wade Wilson
Eddie Brock (no monster porn please!)*
Ships (all are allowed as poly with reader too):
Stucky*
Winterwitch*
Winterwidow
Winterhawk*
Winterfalcon*
Sam x Clint (I don’t know their ship name)
Clintasha
Steggy
Thundershield
Thor x Valkyrie (also forgot the ship name)
Prompts
1 “I’ve never been so insulted!” - “You don’t listen much do you?” @jewelswrites-ish (Chris Evans x Reader) / @avengerscompound (Winterhawk)
2 “On a scale of one to Australia. How dangerous are we talking?” @avengerscompound (clintasha) /
3 “When did you become so smart, oh wise one?” - “Since I stopped listening to you.” @writing-mermaid (Tony x sister!reader) /
4 “Seven billion people in the world and you are overreacting because we killed one man.” - “But…” - “Seven billion people! Now shut up and drink your smoothie!” @queen-of-the-avengers (Tony x Reader) /
5 “Oh God. I think I am in love” - “For your sake, I wouldn’t tell her/him that” @docharleythegeekqueen (Winterhawk x Reader) /
6 “Don’t trust him” - “Funny that’s exactly what he said about you” @readitandweepfics (Steve x Reader) /
7 “Children shouldn’t play with guns” - “Who said I was playing”
8 “On a scale of one to ten how bad do you think it would be if….” - “At least twenty” @fangirlfiction (Stucky x Reader) / @queen-of-the-avengers (Tony x Reader)
9 “What’s our exit strategy?” - “Our what?” - “Ohmygod we’re going to die” @acreativelydifferentlove (Steve Rogers x Reader) /
10 “I taught you how to pick locks and this is how you are using that skill?” @messy-random-bitch (Clint Barton) /
11 “What’s the little blinking light mean?” - “It means…. Wait? Blinking?!”
12 “Right now I don’t know if I want to kiss you or push you off the cliff!” - “Can I pick?” @sweeetmonstrosity (Sam Wilson x Reader) / @averyrogers83 (winterfalcon x reader)
13 “This is what the third time I crashed my own funeral” - “Fifth” - “Really? That many?”
14 “Bring them home. All of them.” - “But…” - “All. Of. Them.” - “Fine!”
15 “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” - “And I am subtly trying to avoid it.”
16 “What’s with the face?” - “Small fire! I said to set a small fire. Small was important!” @queen-of-the-avengers (Natascha Romanoff x Reader) /
17 “What the hell kinda noise was that?” - “I sneezed.” - “That was NOT a sneeze!” @jewels2876 (Chris Evans x Reader) /
18 “You got blood on your knees. No one goes nowhere and gets blood on their knees.”
19 “Is that blood?” - “No?” - “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question!” @nekoannie-chan (Steve Rogers x Reader) / @becs-bunker (Stucky x Reader)
20 “Obviously I’ve been gone for way too long. You managed to kill all the houseplants” @awkwardfangirl2014 (Bucky Barnes x Reader) / @queen-of-the-avengers (Tom Hiddleston x Reader)
21 “Don’t you know who I am?” - “Yup. I just don’t care.” @queen-of-the-avengers (Elizabeth Olsen x Reader) /
22 “You’re going to break his heart if you pull a stunt like this” - “He has a heart?” @keepgrindingwaywardsoul (Bucky Barnes x Reader) / @yougetkilled-walkitoff (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
23 “Sorry I got a cold and feverish assassin on my lap. I’ll call you back when I convinced him a cold doesn’t mean he is dying.” @keepgrindingwaywardsoul (Bucky Barnes x Reader) / @acreativelydifferentlove (Steve Rogers x Reader)
24 “I hate you” - “Why? I’m lovely” @barnesrogersvstheworld (Bucky Barnes x Reader) / @queen-of-the-avengers (Natascha Romanoff x Reader)
25 “You’re one insult away from starting a war” - “That’s presumptuous of you. It already started”
26 “What are you doing in the chandelier?” - “You know. Just hanging out”
27 “Can we please try not to kill anyone today?” - “Well you are no fun” @kentuckybarnes (Bucky Barnes x Reader) /
28 “You missed!” - “I never m… FUCK!”
29 “You nearly took my head off!” - “I told you to dug didn’t I?!” @raqnorok (Bucky Barnes x Reader) /
30 “If you weren’t so goddamn annoying I would kiss you right now” - “Well if you weren’t such a pain in the ass…. Wait what?” @tranquil—heart (Steve Rogers x Reader) / @awkwardfangirl2014 (Chris Evans x Reader)
MCU WRITING CHALLENGES
@ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off @captain-rogers-beard @dolphinpink310 @grace-for-sale @docharleythegeekqueen @rebelslicious @thorne93 @hillywooddestiel @peterman-parker @queen-of-deans-booty @acreativelydifferentlove @emilyevanston @blacktithe7 @becs-bunker @roxyspearing @blacktithe7 @cassiefanfic @readitandweepfics @kayla-of-shield @fangirlextraordinaire @thatfanficstuff @danijimenezv @hopes-archer @marvel_madam08 @averyrogers83 @thelookingglassalice @slowlywithfreedom @awkwardfangirl2014
And a few others cause I love their writing
@jewels2876 @becs-bunker @roxyspearing @barnesrogersvstheworld @sebs-potato @moonbeambucky @tropicalcap @softlybarnes @bucky-at-bedtime @evanstarff @fangirlfiction @i-dont-do-rpfs @avengerscompound
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How to enter a fandom - RPC
Hey guys, time for a friendly PSA from yours truely~
So I’ve been in and out of a lot of fandoms, made friends, enemies, frenemies, grave mistakes and happy accidents. I also see a lot of people come in other fandoms. Most of yall do great but I see some people carry in this weird sort of self deprecating attitude that can immediately turn rpers away from them, which results in; more of that self deprecation. So Im here to hopefully help out with the best ways to enter a fandom or an rpc, make your presence known and make lots of wonderful friends.
Now the first, and most important thing, and I notice a ton of people struggle with it is:
General attitude.
Let me give two examples of some first time posts.
“Hey! I’m new to the fandom. I know my bio and my theme sucks but would anyone like to rp? Maybe?”
VS.
“Hey! I’m new to the fandom. My bio and rules are located here, though they’re still under construction I’m really eager to develop them with interactions!”
Now I know the first one is tempting for a lot of reasons. You might not even feel like its all that bad, but up next to the second one it actually sounds a little...depressing, monotone, dry. Even though they start the same, one ends with me feeling like: this person really doesn’t put effort into things, they dont even really want to be here. All my threads with them are going to be lazily written or probably written with half baked enthusiasm.
The second person is happy to be here, eager to interact, admits that since they’re a new blog not everything is perfect. Yet, they don’t talk down on themselves or make it seem like anyone who talks to them will only be taking pity on them.
This is actually a big problem I see in the rpc. Making people take pity on you for interactions and the rule with that is simple:
don’t make people feel like they have to take pity on you.
It’s a knee jerk reaction, I know. We’re all awkward humans on the internet who want to play up our faults. Who wants to say “My stuff is SO awesome! It’s the best”???
Well. You do. You’re new to a fandom. People already have established relationships, character arks, possibly with another version of the muse youre playing. Backstories so detailed it’ll make your head spin. You are literally selling yourself to these other rpers. Don’t sell them “A vacuum cleaner that sucks. No, not sucks up the dirt, it just sucks. Like me, Im trash and dont even have a working vacuum” No one wants to buy a vacuum cleaner that sucks.
Hate to break it to you, but when you say you suck, or your stuff sucks; people are gunna believe you. Or they’re just gunna pity you. And thats not great either.
Heck you might think; why not? So long as they rp with me, whats wrong with that?
Well... lots of things but mostly; pity isn’t a good feeling. Nobody wants to feel guilted into rping with you. Imagine seeing someone on your dash constantly posting about how no one likes them, their character or interacting with them. How they wanna die because they never get asks, no one likes their starters. (Sound extreme? I’ve seen it.) It makes you feel bad right? It makes you wanna like them but like- where do you even start??? They don’t even like them?? What common ground do you have?? “Hey, I see you hate yourself... uh... I hate you too?” Not great. Actually bad. You don’t know how to approach this person without becoming an emotional crutch, and you know they’ll latch on to you and suck every positive emotion out of your body so how do you win?
So lesson one is; People don’t want to be forced to feel so bad that they rp with you, they want to feel inspired to. Inspire some dudes! (or non-dude identifying people)
Presentation!
This is everything. Present yourself. You don’t need flashy icons or a cool promo- let me tell you, I’ve made some shitty promos in my life. See Here
That was my promo for a long as time. Until it was THIS that a friend made for me (A friend that I made. Through how awesome I presented myself. Thanks Vee, if you see this I still love you)
I can’t stress enough how important attitude is because I’ve had both a shitty attitude and a great one in the RPC and let me tell you, nothing kills a blog faster than a shitty attitude. Wanna make a self deprecating posts about that meme that you got 0 asks for? NUH UH. Think again. PITY = BAD, SHORT LASTING FRIENDSHIPS. INSPIRED = SUPER AWESOME HAPPY FUN TIMES FOREVER.
Yo, present yourself in a way that makes people wanna approach you. Get them interested, say something wacky or edgy or if your character is self deprecating then self deprecate through them but DO IT IN A FUN WAY. The people who care about icons and fancy promos usually aren’t worth lasting friendships either. Sometimes they literally spend more time formatting than writings something worth while for you. (some of you really balance it and just love formatting but u know im not talking about u Im talking about those that literally wont talk to us that dont)
So present yourself well and be genuine.
--- WAIT WAIT WAIT- be genuine?? What if my genuine self is self deprecating and negative?
[JOHNNY TEST NOISE]
HELL NO shut the what up I know you’re not, I know that’s a reflex to cover up how insecure you are, I know you hate how pathetic and small you feel so you point out all the things wrong with you before someone else can. That’s not you, and you are capable of more than that.
Dude. (and non-dude identifying peeps) I’m gunna say it again. I’m gunna say it a million times; one day it will sink in. Everybody feels that way.
What?? Octo ur so cool and confident tho
You know how you never noticed?? CANT SEE MY HANDS SHAKE THROUGH THE COMPUTER.
DONT KNOW HOW LONG I HESITATED BEFORE SENDING THAT ASK MEME TO YA.
The internet is a playground because you can trick people into believing whatever you want about yourself. YEP even good things!!! You don’t have to wear your flaws on your sleeve, and you certainly don’t have to wear them like a full body cast that prevents you from doing anything fun in your life.
Take the cast off, take a risk. You literally have nothing to lose. Especially if no one interacts with you as is anyways.
Be mindful
This is more of a trick I use to make myself feel better. I don’t follow a lot of people so my dash is pretty slow. It’s fairly easy to tell when people are and aren’t active/online so I literally have to trick myself sometimes but;
If you reblog a meme and get nothing, step back and ask yourself; am I sure anyone even saw it? and are the people who did maybe to shy to send anything? Or maybe nothing in that meme applies to their character.
As a mute character I am VERY restricted to what memes I reply to. As a character who speaks VERY LITTLE I am VERY restricted to what dialogues I can send at all. This means I’m required to edit memes a little (this is allowed by most meme creators btw) or I need a very good relationship with a character in order to say/sign that many words at them.
And worse case scenario, queue it and reblog it again/later. Its no biggie, some memes don’t make it.
Self reflect
Check out people on the dash. Do they have interactions? What are they like? Is their character more welcoming? Maybe you’re character is more intimidating. You might need to actually seek out interaction.
Tumblr has this huge enigma where everyone wants asks but no one wants to send them. Curious anons come from someone, magic anons come from your peers, followers, friends. Some of them are pretty obvious. Want asks? Send them. We really need to get the ball rolling with this because its honestly a problem. Show some initiative and reach out. It actually feels pretty good seeing someone react to your outrageous anon. And its a lot of stress relief if you play an otherwise very serious character to get to branch out and be silly.
So you send asks, you like starter calls- why isn’t it working?
Well, a stranger knocks on your door and tries to get to know you. Its a little awkward- it can work sure in some cases. But in most you’ll probably close the door and phone the police.
The RPC isn’t as strange as that but what’s easier? Talking to a muse you’ve never met from a blog you’ve never seen before? Or writing a thread with your best bud, throwing in inside jokes and references to your favourite shows- teasing each other about that one embarrassing thing that happened to your muse- yeah. Yeah you get it.
If you have history or at least an idea what someone is like, you will want to interact with them more. I don’t know if you’re some mean... meanie pants whos gunna smack my muse because he offered you a cookie. And maybe you are, but if I don’t know you, or know that your muse is deeply traumatized by cookies, I might take that as you saying “Ew no get away I never wanna rp with you”.
It sounds harsh, but I KNOW it happens. It STILL happens to me, even with people I’m friends with. Even if someone has multiple blogs and I get on fine with one muse, if the other hates me I might get uneasy about sending in asks cause I feel like I’m directly bothering the mun (who I love on this blog but WHAT IF THEY START HATING ME THERE TOO???)
Separation is tricky. We all get jealous or feel neglected when our partners focus on another thread/ship or send mean angsty replies which is why its important to check yourself remind yourself you have value, mun =/= muse and that it’s all in good fun.
Have Rules
UGH no!!! Not rules I hate rules, I dont want to restrict anyone!
Listen. I get it. I was a rule-less blog for a long time. But you know what? You need them. Not just for you, but for the people who wanna interact. I still feel the need to ask people who have rules what they are and aren’t comfortable with. You might not realize it but shit can go down in rps especially in certain fandoms. Even if its just the basics. Write them. They matter.
Unless you’re fine with someone literally controlling your character, or a blog you dont even follow who RPs David Letterman tags you in a smutty thread where your muse and him are married and he’s heavily pregnant with 4 narwal baby’s I- I think you can see where I’m going.
If its just the basics, thats fine, everyone loves seeing that. No god modding, not forced shipping, ect- great. Less for me to remember. Add to it if you need to. Everyone experiences rp different. Make your experience a comfortable one.
(And stay tf away from me Preggo-letterman)
Step away.
If you’re feeling negative, just step away. Do not make a big post about it alerting everyone who follows you because they might not all respond well. If you have close friends in then fandom you can go to, talk to them, vent a little, or just remove yourself and get those feelings out. But remember that no one here is equipped to be your therapist, and we cant all be expected to take the burden from you. It is up to you to regulate your emotions. Use coping skills but please don’t make the fandom or your blog a toxic place to be.
You don’t feel good, and no one reading your posts feels good, and building friendships on not feeling good is just... completely not good.
Im not saying you must be sunshine and rainbows all the time, but feeling bad feels bad and even though rping is just a hobby and a past time you are still reaching into other peoples lives. Leave a good impact, try to be someone you would want to meet in the rpc. Make it a better place.
Tips and Tricks
If you leave with nothing else, please take these:
Send Messages.
IM people, send them asks, get to know them before RPing.
Be kind.
Be generous.
Be enthusiastic.
Be happy.
#PSA!!!#Im so so so SO sorry its so long#I tried really hard to make it entertaining#anyways I just get a lot of people asking me how to enter the RPC and...#I wish I had heard this shit when I started lmao#rp#tumblr rp#roleplay
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✪✺ :0
✤ - How do you tag things on your blog? Do you have a specific tag for RPs, characters, art, or memes? What’s the best way for a visitor to acquaint themselves with your characters?
I have tags for my characters by names- ex. adlyra, yutahn, matvias, etc. For RPs, I think I’m going to start using “x rps”, or maybe “x ic”? but i genuinely worry about copying people and being unoriginal kjsdnfs so i dunno yet. Memes are just tagged as “ask meme”, judgments are “judgement meme” [along with “x judges” if one of my characters is judging someone else’s], and the best way for someone to get to know my characters right now is probably just to scroll through their tag! i still havent gotten their profile pages up and the “skeletons” of them are out of date in some ways. :’)
✪ - Where do you do most of your RPing? On tumblr, or somewhere else? Do you share logs of your RPs with your tumblr followers?
most of my rping is done over discord!! i don’t currently share rp logs because i’m not sure if my rp partners are comfortable with it, but if something strikes me as funny or important in the future i might ask!
✺ - What style RP do you prefer? Script or chat based, or paragraph? Do you normally write in first, second, or third person, or are you flexible?
i don’t really prefer any style per se, but i tend to drift towards paragraph because its what im most used to! if someone else starts in a different format though, ill follow suit. however, i do NOT rp in first person. it just feels too weird :’)
❀ - What’s your preferred method of contact? Do you give out your skype name or other chat programs? Do you use pesterchum or text?
skype is dead lmao
i’d prefer discord for mutuals, and ims for everyone else, but im flexible and dont mind either way! i’ve listed it before, but on that note, my discord is andromedous#5700 if any of you want to add me, i’ll just ask who ye are 0;
i do have pesterchum installed, but i havent used it in forever. not opposed to the idea tho!
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* guidelines .
* > SIOBHAN / 22 / PST .
my name is sio . im 22 years old and i use he / him pronouns. if im not here you can probably find me on my hunny @janeives. my ims are open to anyone and my disc is available upon request. ive been writing about 12 years and started on neopets.
* > BASIC SHIT .
this blog is an independent, private blog for max mayfield of the netflix original stranger things. i am not at all affiliated with the show, netflix, s.adie sink, the d.uffer brothers, or anything in between. i do not claim to own the character max. this blog is for my personal enjoyment
this blog is not spoiler free. if you haven’t seen the show and intend to i suggest not following. during season drops i tag for a week after the premiere.
i track the tag #MADTOO
oc / canon / au / crossover friendly and highly plot driven
* > SHIPPING & RELATIONSHIPS .
max is thirteen years old. shipping will be of lighthearted nature and secondary to development of her character and other relationships. pre est friendships are a - okay. chemistry is key!
this blog is sfw. do not send me nsfw content or you will be blocked.
* > FORMATTING .
i don’t care how you format, it’s all writing to me! i use 40x40 size icons and my blog will be a mix of formatted and unformatted. i generally dont format one liners because it looks awkward. sometimes i dont format because im lazy.
if you need me to use regular size font i’d be glad to, just let me know!
* > DRAMA & CALLOUTS .
i do not reblog callouts, but i do read them.
i would never vague someone i follow, and i rarely do at all.
im extremely dupe friendly! duplicates are welcome to follow me. if i see someone slandering a duplicate of any blog or attempting to sway someone from making their character, i will soft block.
with that said if i see you take something of mine i will call you out on it. this is not a resource blog and i’ve had plenty stolen in the past.
personal, bot, and nsfw blogs will be blocked
if you have a problem talk to me! :^)
* > TRIGGERS & TAGGING .
general triggers are tagged based upon common sense. if you see me slip up on a tag, let me know so i can make sure no one else is made uncomfortable on the dash. if you need me to tag a trigger let me know. my tagging format is #/TRIGGER
* > INTERACTIONS .
I WILL NOT INTERACT WITH ANY BILLY BLOGS. i do not follow billy blogs. if you are a billy and follow me i will block you.
i do not tolerate bigotry of any kind. i do not interact with rule!63 blogs.
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im only posting this bc i desperately need to exorcise this thought somewhere bc it wont fucking leave me alone
those of you who know me personally or follow my instagram know about this but for those of you who dont: in a horrible turn of events, our plan to put down our geriatric yellow labrador retriever dixie was unfortunately and unexpectedly doubled today to having to put down our 3 year old engam bulldog, bean, as well
when we got him in mid december, 2015 he was barely out of puppyhood, we found him wandering around near the highway at our local gas station with a collar and no tag, trying to jump into two out-of-towner girls’ car. my stepdad intervened bc they couldnt take bean with them obviously, and brought him home instead.
we put up lost dog flyers everywhere all over our very small city, in an attempt to maybe see if someone would indeed come forward for their dog. we knew he wasnt just a stray because of his collar.
almost right off the bat, we were told by a woman who worked at the gas station that there was a man who lived in the trailer park just across the road, located behind the pancake diner. you can see it from the gas station parking lot. she told us that he had a lot of dogs that he typically kept chained up outside in poor conditions, and beat them regularly. to us? it seemed totally reasonable that that must’ve been where bean came from, given the fact he was a dog and we found him literally less than 50 feet away from where this fucking man lived.
no one came forward to claim bean. we kept those flyers up for months, we only put them up to begin with knowing he may have been thrown out by (or escaped from) this disgusting man just because there was the possibility that it wasn’t his dog, but someone else’s. as well as the potential for legal intervention if this fabled abuser found out we had technically stolen his dog (and full disclosure, fuck him for what he does, i hope all his dogs get stolen like they need to be, i myself was not fond of the idea of just giving the dog back to this creep if he was indeed the owner but i was only 16 at the time so there wasnt much i could do)
with no one claiming bean, after those months passed, we decided that he was ours now. flyers were taken down, we gave him his collar and nametag, to be real he’d already been named by us in the first few days we had him. he was going to be ours no matter what; my mother always told me its a rule that if you name a stray, and do it quick before anyone can object to keeping it, it’s yours now. that’s your pet, with it’s new name.
so we carried on with our lives, now having not just one dog, but two. it was a bit iffy with my stepfather keeping bean since we didnt technically need to manage two dogs at the time, but we still did it anyways because we loved him, the little bean man.
but here’s where my problem lies and this is why im writing this now: as time went on and we continued to have bean as our pet, some stuff about the original suggestion that he belonged to an abusive older man who lived in close proximity to where we found bean wasnt adding up
due to dixie’s failing body, she would sometimes lose control of her bowels inside the house, which was becoming unacceptable when she stayed in overnight. so, she stayed outside. she and bean bonded, so they stayed outside together too. (and for clarity here, i know what some of you might want to say, but we knew very early on that bulldogs do not do well with heat or isolation. we also know that dixie probably shouldve been put down years ago, but here’s the trouble: my stepfather would not let us euthanize her. she is his dog technically, and the thought hurt him so much that he would not agree to it for YEARS. dixie and bean were too attached to separate them for long periods of time like they would be if we kept bean inside mostly and her outside mostly; that would’ve been cruel in its own special way. we put pools out for bean and visited with both dogs for as much as we could outside, bathed them, put fans out for them in the summer. our only option to give bean the main love and care he needed was, and of course we had other reasons to do this, to put dixie down, which was where we thought we were finally going to be by tomorrow, but thats not what happened, as you can tell)
as to be expected, bean sometimes found his way inside, mostly by applying his american bulldog traits to memorizing when unfamiliar guests would come over and bolt in the house. he did this enough times and very recently we were letting him stay inside instead of taking him back out, and all of these experiences combined, we noticed something: bean was housebroken. he was out of practice with it, and did not know very well how to communicate that he needed to go outside to use the bathroom, but he did know what to do. he would run to the door if he had to go, not always making it, but still, he was housebroken. he only marked furniture once while inside, in his entire lifespan thus far. that was a red flag to us, but especially my mother, who realized this skill of beans directly contradicted the statement that he was probably kept outside, chained up, starved, and beaten by the trailer park guy. not to mention, bean came to us in nearly perfect condition to begin with, just skinny. no patches of fur gone, he was the opposite of skittish and aggressive, no bruises, nothing. just a loving, bouncy, stupid bulldog mix
this, im not sure if im correct about this, but it stands out enough to me that i feel its worth mentioning: bean is not a mutt of any kind, and his breed contradicts those types of breeds most people who abuse animals come to own; usually large breeds, breeds inaccurately known for aggression, and breeds used by abusers to make aggressive bc they know the fighting power of these dogs (pitbulls, american bulldogs, etc). bean is an engam bulldog (english/american mix), which is a very obscure mixed breed dog to begin with and especially obscure where i live, and as we all know english bulldogs are short, stout, fat little things that can basically do no harm whatsoever. they also have a history of inbreeding to look how they do. i know this man may have just seen ‘bulldog’ and snagged him thinking he’d be aggressive, but that does not sit right with me for two other reasons: bean’s conformation (body structure) and coloration. there is nothing about bean that suggests he was bred to be used for fighting, or that he’s a true mutt, or anything of the sort. his body type literally resembles that of show dogs, and his fur coloration is highly unusual because he’s blue. obviously not literally blue but the type of blue-grey you can find in animals, typically seen in cats. bean’s coloration is almost NEVER found in ANY breed of bulldog, it is INCREDIBLY rare that he looks like this. his condition in which we found him, his housebrokenness, his color and his body formation lead, in me and my family’s opinion, to an alternative opinion: he belonged to someone that got him because they wanted a dog as a pet, not to beat, and they either bred him themselves or bought him (probably from a pet store or breeder) for his color and conformation.
but why would they dump a dog this valuable? my mom said this to me earlier, sobbing after she returned from the vet today, and this is my whole reason for writing this insane fucking novel of a post: whoever dumped bean threw out a sick puppy, and on purpose.
bean hasnt been injured or contracted an unvaccinated illness or anything like that. he had been experiencing extreme stomach distension for the past month, whereas he was losing weight everywhere else on his body. he had also been vomiting. but he wasnt depressed, or lethargic. maybe his personality was a little off but not so much it was horribly noticeable, and at that, he was still eating regularly everyday. we came to the conclusion he had parasites, though ive always been terrified something more serious was going on (i dont get listened to though).
as it turns out, i was right. mom took him in today, the day before dixie was set to be put down, for his deworming pills. what she got instead was a diagnosis of possible lung cancer. his blood work was normal, which is unusual in animals with cancer, but he still had nodules on his lungs that highly resembled cancer. his heart was also severely enlarged due to heartworms, and his stomach was so distended because it was full of fluid and blood. they did send his blood off for labs, but even if his lungs were fine, he was going to die anyway (they got a second opinion from another practice and they also agree it was probably cancerous). he has a 15% survival rate for only the very first heartworm treatment, which will cost $500. nothing lives very long with an enlarged heart to begin with. we don’t have that money, and for a treatment that will definitely kill him? i dont even know why he has so much blood and fluid in his digestive tract. bean, a dog who is only 3 or 4 years old, has an enlarged heart, lung tumors and fluid/blood all in his abdomen. the vet was apparently stunned that a dog this young could have this many potentially (and one definitely) fatal health problem(s).
i now fully believe that whoever owned him before knew he had all these issues, or that he was going to develop them. i think it makes sense. i also think they’re cheap, cruel fucks who didnt want to shell out that much money to take care of him, or pay to take him to a shelter/sanctuary, and so what did they do? they did what many people these days very regularly do when their new pet has become undesirable: they fucking dumped him on the side of the road and booked it. took his nametag off and everything, to make him look like a stray. they left him for some well meaning, animal loving family like mine to find him, not know anything about these preexisting health issues, and assume he’s healthy enough; maybe just needs a few more vaccinations and a worm and flea treatment. he showed no signs of lung cancer or heart problems in all his life up until this past month, and he’s still so young. i will even go as far as to say that he himself may be severely inbred, which could be the cause of these health issues. given his specific posture and color, and that he’s a bulldog, it’d make sense. it seems like he came from some kind of breeder to begin with anyway.
so now that ive said that and got it all out of the way, i want to leave an open letter to the hypothetical cunt that did this to us and bean:
i hope god fucking strikes you down where you stand. i hope every single day of your miserable fucking life, you think about where he ended up, if he’s still alive, if anyone found him, if he ever got hit by a car or died alone of cancer and heart failure in a field somewhere. i hope you feel guilt for leaving him knowing he’d develop cancer and that he had heart worms, and knowing you did it BECAUSE of that. i hope you never fucking forget about the fact that you threw an INNOCENT LITTLE PUPPY out on the highway because you just didnt want to have anything to do with his illnesses, and i hope one day you find out what you did to us and this innocent little boy. he’s such a good fucking dog, he is so patient, kind, loving and gentle, and when he has bursts of energy to play he fucking goes, and now he has to die barely halfway through his lifespan because of your fucking negligence. he is laying outside on the porch right now, uncomfortable with fluids and blood backing up his intestines, coughing and huffing just to try and breathe. at the very least, if he were taken to the right shelter, he couldve been fucking cared for and given treatments to extend his life as much as possible, or at least given hospice care for however long he could live, which has now been shortened to 3 or 4 years. if you yourself knew this dog was inbred or you inbred him yourself, fuck you. i hope you get run over by a fucking truck. this breed can live from 12-16 years, that’s a LONG time for a dog like him, and you had to fucking ruin it all because of your own fucking preferences; you wanted the perfect dog. and you could’ve had him if you’d grown a fucking heart and actually gave a shit about animals beyond how they look aesthetically; as well, if you fucking actually gave a shit about your animals HEALTH and wanted to maintain it instead of apparently assuming he’d just be fine and healthy with all his vaccinations and that’d be the end of it. you do not deserve to own an animal if you dont even want to acknowledge it will sometimes need medical care, how fucking heartless are you? we never had enough money to take care of dixie’s failing health, and we always knew it’d be better to put her down, but my stepdad kept refusing. you had enough money to fucking breed or buy a blue show-quality engam bulldog and you still wouldnt fucking care for him after you found out what problems he had. fuck you. eat shit and die. i hope you never find peace from the guilt of knowing you fucking killed what became our dog because you’re selfish. my mother is physically sick with grief. i am physically sick with grief. i feel so bad that it’s as if i have the fucking flu. i was trying to talk with my mother about this situation earlier and i had to rush to leave because i felt like i was about to throw up if i didnt. everyone in this house has cried so much today it’s disgusting.
the only thing good about this is that bean came along for dixie when she needed him most, and became her helper and provider, giving her company and being a literal post to lean on for when she couldnt see where she was going. they’re going over the rainbow bridge tomorrow morning together, and in a way, this is probably the best outcome. at least bean wont have to grieve. dixie can see her old companion again (who died from a ruptured tumor in 2014) and bean can meet him, and they can all play and be together in that field in the sky.
my family will never have another dog again because of this pain this has caused us.
#personal#probably dont delete this#dont open this if youre sensitive to animal cruelty and death please#and vulgar descriptions of internal illness in dogs#and emetophobia#dont rb
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