#im so tired but i'll try to work on her rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

qawcamiz · 1 year

Note

Zhongli x fem reader where zhongli is working all week and can barely spend time w yn so when he got free time yn tried to lead him to 'it' but zhongli won so he got to eat her out instead ☹️☹️☹️💖💖💖 I can't see any zhongli smuts 💔💔💔

Overtime

(NSFW): angst & smut, oral sex/f receiving (no proofread as usual :sadface:)

a/notes: I can't believe y'all... it's almost week for uhhh and yall r asking for these 💀💀 ANYWAYS I've been so busy, my apologies for not updating for like weeks idfk TT, I'll try to be more active now, I'll be doing the requests !!

notes: if there r mistakes, MY BADD!!! I'm writinf this amd irs like 5am rn 🔫 ILL B FIXINF IT TMRRRWWW 🙌🏻😭😭😭 IM SO DLEEPY RN

Zhongli puts his career first, which is tough, considering his job entails a lot of work and a very short rest. He barely even spends his time with you, he just has to commute to work every day. Every morning you wake up without Zhongli by your side, heck it's indeed a miracle you can fall asleep without his presence, but that's all there is to it. It's not like Zhongli doesn't want to be here at home with you, it's more like he has to get to work early every morning and is only able to come home late at night because his boss won't let him go home yet, which means he'll never get to sleep properly.

every time Zhongli comes home he sees that you fell asleep on the couch, reading a book you've borrowed from his bookshelf. You always read whenever you're tired, it seems like your dearest thing to do. So it isn't odd seeing you curled up on the couch while reading the same book over and over. Zhongli realized that you tried to keep yourself awake to wait for him to get home from work so you could cuddle in bed before going back to sleep. he feels so bad about it, you're always tired after the long day you had and he couldn't even spend some quality time with you. but one thing is for sure, Zhongli loves how peaceful you look when you sleep.

One night, Zhongli informed you that he would be able to go home early tonight and you immediately brightened up. You were so delighted to hear him telling you that he was coming home later than expected. So you made a bunch of dinners as quickly as you could to make him feel better about leaving early. You were so happy with the news to the point that you imagined what tonight would be like with him finally by your side.

But all of those images shattered when Zhongli went straight to your shared room, Not even bothering to close the main door behind himself or even share you a glance. He looked as if his whole world had crumbled down around his feet and you felt so helpless, but it was too late now, he already went inside and closed the door softly behind him. Although it bothered you, You soothed yourself that it must probably be because he was just drowsy from working hard all week, but deep down you knew that it wasn't just that. The fact was that both of you barely talk considering his occupied schedule, you know you shouldn't pressure him or expect anything in return for such a short amount of time together. But still, you can't help but miss him, so you waited anxiously until his eyes landed on you.

Looks like, for you, The fascination he had been feeling towards you all this time had dissipated completely in an instant. Like he didn't feel anything anymore, it was as if everything he had felt about you before disappeared overnight. Now, it felt empty, void, almost as if you were a spirit, and nothing could bring you back into existence again. Even worse, you felt lonely without your boyfriend.

Was he seeing someone else? Did he find somebody else better than you? Many questions lingered inside of your mind and you wanted to resist the urge to just shout out all these questions, but all that came out was your heartbroken cry. You were so hopeless, so frustrated that you felt like crying tears of blood. But somehow, you managed to hold them back. Your feelings mustn’t affect him any further, he needs to take care of himself right now and you’d rather give him space than force him. If he wanted to spend the rest of the night with you, He would have done it by now...

When you finally got the courage to go and see what had happened, Zhongli was standing in front of the closet, staring blankly. His back facing you and his left arm hanging limp at his side as if he couldn't muster up any strength to move. Your breath hitched as a tear fell from your eye and your body moved forward automatically, without thinking. You weren't aware of what you were doing but what you know is how it felt so good to finally have your arms wrapped around him. You buried your face in his back and held him tight as if trying to keep him from vanishing into thin air.

He stayed silent, unmoving in your embrace, and you were about to break down completely when he suddenly turned around. His head rested against your shoulder as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, holding you tight too. Your eyes teared up even more and you sobbed openly, clutching onto him as if you'd never seen him for decades. You were so terrified, but you also felt like laughing hysterically. The relief, joy, and satisfaction you felt were overwhelming, it took a second for you to calm down enough to breathe properly. But you didn't let go of him either. As if you needed to reassure yourself that he was there. That he was there. “I miss you... so much... Zhongli..." you cried into his shirt, still clinging to him as tightly as possible.

"I miss you a lot too, I'm sorry..." he said softly, rubbing circles in your back to calm you. You knew Zhongli wants to say something, but all of his words failed him and you could tell he was struggling just as much as you are. After several minutes, when you calmed down a bit and your breathing returned to normal, "Y/n... I—"

You cut him off by pressing your lips against his, silencing him instantly. You didn't care, all you cared about was making up for the lost time. You kissed him like you meant to kiss him forever and you weren't willing to let him go even for a single minute, And Zhongli noticed how fast and frantic your kisses were getting, but he didn't complain at all. He just held you tighter and deepened your kiss, letting himself forget how hard he had worked today, how tired he felt, and most importantly, he forgot that you were waiting for him. All he know was he wants you, and you want him, so what was stopping the both of you from doing this?

His kisses were soft and gentle, but it wasn't long before his hands wandered under your shirt, running across your skin teasingly, making goosebumps appear on your exposed skin. Then they traveled southwards, caressing the curves of your stomach, then moving downwards. And all of a sudden you found yourself gasping for air, feeling so overwhelmed and breathless by his touch, but at the same time, he continued kissing you as if he hadn't done that in months, which he did.

Then, he unbuttoned your shirt and began kissing all along your collarbones and down to your chest, sucking on the spot where his thumb had just touched moments before. You whimpered softly, wanting nothing more than to feel his mouth on yours again and again, to melt into him, as if your bodies were made to fit perfectly together, like pieces of the same puzzle. You grabbed onto his hair, pulling him closer and deepening your kiss. Zhongli groaned and pulled away slightly, his lips brushing against yours once more.

You felt Zhongli's large palm against your breasts, you kept quiet, you didn't want to ruin this moment. Instead, you just leaned into his touch and allowed yourself to relax and enjoy his warm mouth on your skin. But Zhongli was relentless, he loved playing the seductress whenever he felt like it, so he proceeded to push you back onto the mattress and straddle you in one swift movement, pinning you down to the mattress with his strong arms as he kissed you again. You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding him tighter, craving his kisses and touches.

Suddenly, Zhongli's hands started roaming all over your body, and you could barely even breathe, he was touching you everywhere and you wanted nothing more but to let him touch you even more. You looked away as you felt yourself growing wetter when he pressed his body against yours, and soon you could feel how hard he was becoming against your abdomen. It made you feel so divine as if he was your heater and you just wanted to snuggle up closer to him, so you did. You let yourself fall deeper into his kisses as your hands ran through his hair, gripping the strands, he started grinding up against your crotch, making you moan and gasp out loud.

You took off his tie and loosened his suit jacket, pushing his shirt down to reveal his toned torso underneath. You started tracing circles on the skin below his chest with your hand, trying not to think about his bulge pressing against your stomach. Just then Zhongli's hands reached up towards your bra, undid it, and pushed it aside. Your breast tingled painfully as he sucked the sensitive flesh, and before you knew it you were squirming beneath him and reaching down with your free hand to unbuckle his belt. You tugged at his trousers impatiently, you needed him to get rid of them so you could feel him inside you again.

Zhongli seemed to have understood what you were hinting, However, he wanted to tease you a little first before he gave you what you wanted, his fingers fiddling with the zip of his pants, you were waiting for him to open it, but he suddenly stopped, looking at you with lust clouding his gaze. He was aroused to see you beneath him, after the exhausting day, you could see it clearly, but instead of saying it aloud, he just stared at you for some seconds longer, He slowly leaned forward again, kissing you deeply, and he started sucking and nibbling at your lower lip, while his other hand stroked gently down your thigh, grazing against your inner thighs. he took off your panties slowly, making sure to take his time to tease you, teasing your clit with his fingers before sliding his finger inside. Your back arched as you moaned softly, he placed another soft kiss against your neck and trailed down to your collarbone, leaving hickeys in his wake. You gasped loudly as his tongue entered your mouth, taking his time to taste every part of you.

After a while, he pulled away and removed his finger from your cunt. You panted heavily and looked at him, "W-Why'd you stop...?" you asked, your voice laced with disappointment. Zhongli didn't answer and continued on his way down to your stomach, trailing kisses along the length of your belly button. When he was close to you, he stopped and raised his face again, giving you an enigmatic smile as he gazed at you with burning eyes. Your hands instinctively reached his hair and tangled your fingers in it as you felt his tongue on your clit. The heat from his saliva seeping between your folds was almost unbearable and you gripped his hair harder, needing more of him.

Zhongli licked up your clit and you clenched your teeth when his warm tongue swirled around your clit, circling it delicately as he suckled your clit harder. Then he slid his tongue slowly between your folds, swirling it around delicately as he teased you relentlessly. You could hardly stand it anymore, you clutched the sheets and tried your best to remain quiet, hoping Zhongli wouldn't hear you. Fortunately for him, he did, because he smirked evilly and slowly moved his tongue inside of you, slowly pumping your clit, driving you crazy.

Your whole body shook uncontrollably with each thrust his tongue gave, your body twitching and tensing with pleasure now and then. He was relentless and merciless with his tongue, sucking on your clit faster and harder, driving you insane until you couldn't stand it any longer. you broke out into a string of incoherent sounds and moans as he continued to pump his tongue furiously inside of you, sucking harder and harder and making you lose control of your body.

"I-Im close..." you whimpered in pure ecstasy, grabbing tightly onto his hair, digging your nails into his scalp painfully, and Zhongli smiled wickedly, knowing he was going to drive you to insanity until you couldn't handle it anymore. His tongue went faster and faster, thrusting in and out of you with fervor, and before you know it, you were coming. He watched with satisfaction as your whole body shuddered violently and you came undone around him, cumming all over his tongue.

When you finally came down from your high, you were panting harshly and covered in sweat, your head resting against the pillow as you waited for your breathing to settle down. you released Zhongli's hair from your grip and sat up, wrapping your arms around your midsection. He watched as you adjusted yourself, and then turned to look at him, still a little out of breath.

"sweet as ever... do you want to keep going?"

#genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #genshin imagines #zhongli smut #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #zhongli x reader smut #zhongli #zhongli lemon #genshin zhongli #genshin impact zhongli #Genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin hcs #genshin

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neymarcouncil · 1 year

Note

Okay, so hear me out, it's always the jealousy imagines that are out there, but what about an imagine where a girl in the medical team or something keeps flirting with neymar and it has been going on for months or something, even tho he is married (to y/n or oc) and he always just never replies cause like, lady there is a ring on my finger, so she just assumes that he is okay with it and never tells his wife, and during a practice or something y/n decided to visit neymar on the way home and she sees that girl and tells her to stop flirting with her husband and the girl is all smug like "are you afraid he's gonna leave you for me" and y/n's like "no, I'm tired of convincing him to not tell your boss to fire you"

I got the idea from this writing prompt, so if you could please add the link in the fic, thank youu ♥️♥️

https://at.tumblr.com/write-it-motherfuckers/703390114339012608/f3uscn2aw1g7

2.7k word's

{give me imagine's or ff ideas

A simple story

Tw: grammar, people tryna link up

Y/n pov?

It's been an exact year since Neymar proposed to me our relationship has been quite healthy only arumgemts that lasted a few days but we worked it out and Davi hated to see us in disputes I didn't let our little arumgemts to tare us apart of make Davi feel uncomfortable with me in anyway

His family loved me and brought me in like I was a blood he's sister especially loved me the most she treated me like a real sister

______________________________________

Time skip rn

I woke up to Neymar not in bed but I heard noise's in the kitchen

I got out of bed went to the bathroom to wash my face to get my up

I got out of our room and saw Neymar was cooking for the both of us(you and Davi)

"Chef Neymar what are you making today? You said going to kiss him on the check

"F/F for one of the most important people in my life' he said to you with is casual smile

"Why don't I take over? You might be late for practice" you said to him trying to take the pan

"Fuck I forgot about practice thank you meu amor" he said letting go of the pan and quickly going upstairs

You laughed at him and quickly went to the stove to handle what he was cooking

"How does he forget a whole job just for cooking" I mumbled to myself and continuing to finishing what he was making

"Y/n what are you making" you saw a little boy call out to you, it was Davi

"Oh good morning sweetheart, I'm just finishing what your father was making, "F/F" he said out loud looking at what I was cooking

"Yep, do you like F/F?' I said to him

"I do, is it ready?" He asked me happily

"Yes it is may you go get me plate"

"Of course Y/n" he said rushing to get 3 plates for all of us"

As Davi got the plates and began to place them on the table. I dished for all of us

"There you go love" I said giving Davi the plate "Thank you Y/n" he said going to the TV room to watch his shows while eating

"No problem buddy" I said while a smile on my face

As I covered the two other dishes to go upstairs and check up on Neymar

When you opened the door to your and his shared bedroom you both bumped into each other

'Im sorry you apologized" as he did the same

"Foods ready, Come eat before you go" you said to him with a smile

'Thank you Meu amor"

As you both went down stairs you have Neymar his dish and put yours in the microwave

"You're not eating now?" Neymar said to you in confusion "I'll eat later I'm not that hunger

You said quickly going upstairs to take a shower and get ready

______________________________________

"Okay, your still here goodbye tho my love" you said giving him a hug around his neck

Neymar got up from his seat getting ready to go to the car when you stopped him

"Where's Davis baby sitter?, You can't leave him, and I'm about to leave for grocerie shopping? alone security isn't enough"

You said to Neymar leaning in the kitchen table

"Oh yeah she'll be here at around 7am "

"Don't worry" he said as he Heard the baby sitter at the door with a knock

"Hello Mr and Mrs I'm sorry I'm a bit early"

"No problem I'll leave the rules at the table call if anything goes wrong byee" Neymar said quickly taking his kit and rushing outside

"Bye Sweetheart" you said to him leaving

"Bye papa" Davi waved to him

You were getting ready to leave and buy groceries for everyone, and maybe buy something for yourself"

______________________________________

Neymar arrived at the Psg training private era

As Neymar Parked the car and both of you got out

"Finally you made it" Kylian said to him

"Rin has been nagging us to when you were coming, she's so annoying"

"She still hasn't stopped be so clingy to me? That's getting tiring' Neymar said with a sigh

"Have you told Y/n about her?" Kylian

Questioned

"Nah I don't wanna worry her to much about"

"Alright man wish you best of luck" kylisn said they both walked to the training yard

______________________________________

"Oh my God, Neymar there you are" Rin yelled running to hug Neymar

"I thought you got hurt, never scare me like that"

"I'm fine Rin, and get off me... please" Neymar said in an annoyed tone

"Hey Ney, let's warm up"

"I have to stay with you, imagine you get hurt I could help you, Ney pleaseeeee" Rin cried out to Neymars shoulders "Yea sure whatever"

"Thank youuu Querido" Rin said taking of her jacket

"I'm sorry for not wearing something pleasant or sporty today to maybe help you guys train" Rin said trying to get Neymar's attention

"Wow a doctor wants to work with the team" Neymar said sarcastically

"Okay let's go Neyyy" Rin said going to catch up with Neymar

"On my I don't think I can run anymore I'll go sit down Ney" Rin said with her breath hitching

"Wait may I wear I shirt of yours mine looks a bit to reavling if you mind"

She wined to him

"Will you leave me alone? Then yeah whatever"

"Thank you♡" Rin said walking off to get Neymar's bag and Change as she sniffed the shirt and mumbled to herself

"God your perfect"

I walked out of the changing room just to see a random female sitting and where Neymar's seat was

I walked over slowly to her trying to Guess who she was

"Oh hello Ma'am, are you medical team or something?"

"Oh no, I just came back from somewhere and decided to visit someone"

"And that shirt looks like I've seen it who's is it?" Y/n questioned

"The Neymar jùnior let me wear it" Rin said confidently

"He did? Oh Alright" Y/n said tensely

"What's wrong?"Rin was cut of by Neymar walking by to say give you a hello and and a peck on the check he didn't know you we're coming to visit him

"Oh, your the 'Y/n' huh?"

"Yea, if i may ask how do you know me?" You asked her

"Me and Ney are close thanks to this job so he's been acting like he weird for someone named Y/n, and that's you"

"You're an imbosel going after married men" Y/n said blanky

"Why scared I'll take him from you keep thinking that, we all know it's true"

"No, I'm thinking why hasn't we report you and Leave you in fucking bloody hell, it's a real pity your parents aren't child free you know?"

"Someone's scared I'll take him huh? How cute, that ring on a finger cna always be taken off reminder!"

"And sueing can always be free you know that"

"I feel unwanted by you Y/n so I'll leave bye honet!" Rin Said leaving you pissed already

Later during the day

______________________________________

Narrator pov

Neymar got injured by his ankle so the medical team had to take a inspection though his whole leg to make sure he was fine

You got a little bit worried from seeing his face in complete pain

"You guys can head out I'll take a look at him" Rin said after they placed him down

"Okay Ma'am" the two doctors lead out of the room leaving you alone with Neymar

"Are you okay Ney, don't worry I'll take care of you♡" Rin said with a glowing smile on her face

"It's just my ankle Rin, Nothing that serious" He argued

"Your a very key player Ney, everything's important you have to take of your shirt for testing"

A sudden knock played out to the door

Sigh "Come in Rin answered annoyed by seeing your figure at the door

"I just came to check if he was okay?'

"Y/n, don't worry I'm fine just an ankle problem'

"You know you're distracting me from working on Him'

"Apologies I'm advance we just really have to go"

"Oh then you'll have to wait... Outside.

"No problem, I just need the key's from his bag"

You quickly grabbed his bag and lead out"

"Okay she's gone now, Shirt off examination time"

Examination over bc I don't know what they do.

"All done, Visit me every morning to check perfectly tho"

"Uh alright thanks"

______________________________________

"Are you Alright?" You quickly got out of your seat

"Yeah Rin ran some useless Tests but I'm all fine okay?"

"That's great to hear let's go home Davi's babysitter is about to leave

"Wait Ney" You both heard Rin call out

"Your shirt silly how'd you forget? I'll go change quickly"

Rin Changed and gave him back his shirt

"Thank you for leading it to me"

"Yea No problem" You watched the two blanky just walking out of the era and waiting at the car

"Hey Y/n wait up!" Neymar said quickly catching up with you

"What's up with that girl, and getting so close with you?" You questioned getting into the car as he did the same

"Who Rin?, I don't know she's been like that since she got hired"

"And you're not reporting to her boss?"

"I didn't think about it like it doesn't mean I like her"

"Yea but still, she already on my nerves" you said looking out the window as he drove back home

"Look if it makes you feel any better Meu amor, I'll talk to her boss about it Tomorrow"

You remained silent and just simply nodded to his action

The whole trip was silent you didn't want to talk to him thinking he had been okay with her busy flirting with him

You both got home and Davi rushed to hug his father's leg

"hey buddy missed me?" He crouched down to give him a hug too

As soon as you walked into the house Davi slide away from his father's hug to come hug you

"Hey there Davi, how are you" you questioned him and he simply have you a smile

Neymar stood back to his normal height and held your wrists making making you worried

All Davi did was go back to watching TV

You both went upstairs he went to take a shower and you were getting the bed ready

You saw as He got out of the bathroom with his pajamas on

"Y/n do you wanna talk?" He's face seeming worried and guilty

"He sat at the edge of the bed and you were standing Infront of him

"Look Y/n, I'll report her as soon as Tomorrow"

"Why didn't you sooner" you exclaimed

"Because I never really payed much attention to her, I have you"

"That doesn't make it better but I shouldn't be mad or jealous over small stuff I'm sorry"

"It's okay I'm sorry too, are we good?"

"Yeah we're good" you said with a smile Carling up your face

"I see that smile, Come on let's go make dinner" he said getting up and holding your hand

You and Neymar made dinner for You,Him and Davi as soon as you were all done eating you washed the plates and had to take Davi to bed and you both Also went to your shared bedroom

"I think I gonna sleep now good night my love"

You said resting your head on his chest as he switched off the lights and wished you a goodnight

Morning came and Neymar left early then usual even Davi was still asleep you decide to take a bath and get something ready to eat you woke up Davi and he quickly too a shower you gave him he's food and both you headed out of the house

"Y/n am I also coming to see dad?" Davi questioned in the back seat while you were driving

"Yep, I just need to also give him his food is that Alright?"

Davi just nodded going back to play with his iPad

You both reached The psg era you got out of the car and opened Davis door to unbuckle his safety belt

He got out of the car holding your hand but still glued to his device

You walk past to see Rin with a box of medical supplies with her and a fuming expression on her face

"This is all your fault you fucking cunt, don't worry none of this is over be warned."

She said fo you storminess out of the Psg era

"Oh she's fired" you mumbled

You and Davi both Walked out of the era looking for Neymar as you found him coming out of an office room

"I see she's fired, here's you lunch to by the way" you said with a closed eye smile

"Yeah she's fired and there isn't practice today so we can have a whole free day!"

"That's perfect we can finally have a night together" you excitedly

Narrator pov

Neymar decided to leave now as he wanted to spend most of the day with you both of you left psg's training era and decided to relax most of th day and go out at around night time

Davi was already asleep in the car drive so he decided to put him in bed and let him sleep

As you both got home you felt a weight getting lifted from you

"Love, do you think we can get take out today I don't feel like cooking today?"

"Of course, you don't always have to cook Meu Amor"

"I know Davi's already fast asleep so I thought you might be hunger"

"Don't worry about it, let's just get ready"

Neymar ended the conversation with a slight peck on the check

You went into your closet to find a dress/suit to wear

(I don't want to pick for you bc it's Y/n u🤷)

As soon as you found your outfit for you a night with your husband he already had gotten ready before you finished, he was already waiting for for you downstairs you went down as a rush

"You look beautiful as always" Neymar complicated you

"Thank you and you look handsome as always" You complicated him back

"Ready to leave?" "Yep let's head off"

Neymar went to lock Davi's door and the house you waited in the car for him busy scrolling on your phone

As he opened th car door and entered "Alrighty then let's head off"

"You still haven't said where we were going too you know?"

"It's a surprise that's why" he said rolling his eyes

As you just continued scrolling through your phone

You both finally arrived at your detention and you were shocked to see "A club?" You questioned

"No a club I helped you in"

"Oh yeah, but if there's paparazzi following us I'm out"

"There won't I promise" he laughed at you word's

"Alright let's go"

You both went Into the club era trying your best not to be spotted and go to a private line at the party

Just after a few minutes you saw bright flashes and some recorded phones around Neymar

"Are you both official?"

"Neymar you've moved on from bruna?'

"How does it feel being in a relationship with one of the best football players?"

You quickly ran away from them holding Neymar wrists

You both hide under the table and sneaked Into the car

You heard Neymar suddenly laugh

"Oh my GOD what a day" he said in between his laugh's

"Just drive"

"Alright" he said teary from laughing

You both went home you were pissed paparazzi ruined you day with him but he made it up to you by watching a movie and cuddling with each other

End.

LMFAO correct any mistake I wrote this at 2am I'm literally dying ong

https://at.tumblr.com/write-it-motherfuvkers /703390114339012608 /f3uscn2aw1g7

Was there promote go check it out bc this story is kinda like it? Ion

I wanna kms I don't know if I'm doing this right I'm usually a Wattpad writer and write w parts so ion about here btw gimme request's

(2 am mfs help(

#neymar #brasil #brazilian football #football world cup news #brazil #fanfic #football x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #neymar imagines #neymar instagram #neymar junior #neymar x reader #messi fifa world cup 2022 #world champion 2022

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semisolidmind · 1 year

Note

yandere scenarios are usually fucked up but in some circumstances... it kiiiiiiinda works??

like- imagine if Peaches was introverted as hell (im projecting /j):

yan!swk: You're my queen now, which means you'll stay with me in my mountain forever, alright, Peaches~? So don't bother trying to run, because I'll always find you, and-

an introverted Peaches that is tired of living in the midst of the absolute dumpster fire thats happening on the world rn and would gladly live on a pretty palace in a mountain away from the city: Yeah, sure, this is fine. I can deal with this. Where do I sign?

yan!swk: [surprised silence by how eager she was to accept it]

(anon, idk how to tell you this, but the point of yandere is that it's fucked up.

shocking, i know)

and yeah i think under the right circumstances reader would be cool with having no responsibility whatsoever. however that lack of responsibility comes at the cost of her freedom and the low low price of becoming the immortal bride of an overpowered monkey demon.

not a deal breaker for some, I'm sure.

#bad end wukong

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lokilysolbitch · 6 months

Text

yeah so my childhood friend of 15 years chronically leaves me on read especially after i have a lot to say which really sucks ass because i actually used to have a whole system of different apps i texted her through so i wouldn't overwhelm one chat with all my spam and she would have time to read it when she wanted. but then a few years ago she was like "no you can spam me in the main app !! you can infodump and vent whenever you want !!" so i said "omg cool !!" and infodumped. and she fucking. left me on read and NEVER acknowledged it at all. and she still does it !!!!!!! that's actually partly why i post on social media at all, especially tumblr bc there's some random person who will want to read all that. anyways yeah im on read again and it's been twelve hours. she HAS spoken in a group chat where i can see her talking tho. which is even more sick rad and cool/sar

but yeah i'm gonna use tumblr for what i made it for, here's my bullshit. they're separate thoughts for the most part:

i'm keeping a count of eyelashes that fall out my eyelash bc for years it's seemed kind of excessive. yesterday was SEVEN. ALL AT ONCE. today is five. also all at once. i think the shedding ones get stuck in my lashes tho and don't come out until i try to get a single oddly placed one out of the way??? so maybe it's normal ???

me, whenever my playlist of my favorite songs plays my favorite songs: OH MY GOD I LOVE TJIS SONG

bro i found nail polish from when i was fucking SEVEN and that shit still works oh my god. the youngest polish i have is from when i was in middle school and most of them are still good. i wanna paint my nails again and i WILL be using these. the shimmery ones are fucking gorgeous.

OH don't get me started on my fucking catching fire nail polish that i got when i was idk 12 because i loved and love the hunger games. don't get me started. okay fine i'll start IT IS SO PRETTY AND SHINY IT FR LOOKS LIKE FIRE LIKE ITS GOT RED YELLOW AND ORANGE GLITTER AND WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT AHDJWIS SKWW SKEDID

and there's also my mockingjay blue polish. one time i painted my nails with it and scrawled "mockingjay" on it with fine line black nail polish and i only regret it not looking neater tbh. i WAS the cringe hunger games kid and not much keeps me from becoming one again

i have so much pink nail polish. i've never in my life liked pink like That tho. why are there so many. the pale pink does hit tho i'll give it that. goddamn it's pretty

the ac in my room doesn't work rn and it is quite literally. 50 something degrees in here. i have raynauds. i just want to feel my fingers again

all i'm saying. is they should make the dsm 5 less relatable idk. i am winning the put a finger down challenge but at what cost

it's really weird how no matter how you feel about someone you'll still see stuff at the store and think "they would like this"

----

okay i got tired i'm stopping now

#what the hell do i tag this #rambles #??#uhhhhhh #sure okay #as usual #i didn't proofread this #handmadeorganicpost

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streaminn · 11 months

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I'm back with some more songs to share. Totally unexpected isn't it? Guts by Thomston feels like it fits with the hermit enid au. I can't really think too much about it because it makes me sad that enid is all alone and while I love my favorites suffering, she already has enough emotional pain with her neglectful/emotionally abusive family. Enid needs to go through physical pain instead but not more abuse from her so called family. So the lyrics that I think match up are

"I wish I had the guts to walk away

The thought of you alone makes me afraid

You push me to my limit

You are always forgiven

I cut you off

And tie us back"

Somewhere In My Past by Divo Bayer is a pretty romantic one that would fit the pjo au. With this more fluffy version of the au, is enid still the reincarnation of the farmer girl who went off to war and wednesday fell for? If so, then it works out from either perspective. Like from Wednesday, she's aware that this is her soul mate that she's been waiting for and still remembers their time together. From enid, I think it would be her having a vague feeling of deja vu about wednesday despite never actually meeting her before. It's like an itch at the back of her mind where she swears she knows this person

"I met you just tonight

But I keep wondering why

It seems I've always known you all my life

I held you only once

But I keep wondering why

It seems I've held you forever"

I could keep adding what fits but then I would put the whole song.

Then there's Treading Water by Ta-ku and Wafia. It's a duet and they both sing in each verse it's kind of like a push and pull thing where the male singer is trying to save their relationship where the woman is thinking that she's just going to inevitably hurt her partner. I'm thinking maybe the demon baby au specifically when belle is killing enid and wednesday leaves to save her. Though I'm not sure the song fits any au in that it would cause problems or a rift to come between them. It would be more like oh this is something we need to work on together to overcome and strengthen our relationship. We know enid is important to wednesday so it's like she's trying to avoid getting too close so she doesn't hurt enid.

"It's like you never let me past skin deep

Don't trip up on the mess I always leave

I'm trying to make the best of what we've been

I'm no good for you I'm good for you"

You kinda need to listen to the song to get what I mean about the push and pull thing. It's a conversation. Not sure if I explained it right but I tried. Sorry if it's too long an ask and if you get tired of my song recommendations please let me know and I'll stop. Have a nice day.

for the pjo au yes!! enid is still very much the reincarnation of the farmer girl who gave wednesday her name

i can't say much unfortunately bc my ass is so no thoughts head empty rn 😥im sorry mate but im sure the songs are amazing like always

#song thoughts #au thoughts

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notetaeker · 1 year

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Goodbye 2022

@peregrination-studies thank u for the tag! I love love planning and reflecting on the year so this was such a fun tag for me to do

What are things you've grown to like this year?

The process honestly. I've always been impatient when it comes to seeing results but over this year I started to appreciate the process of things? I've always been the type to start a project and then work on this project for 3 days until I'm done and by then I'd get so tired of it or be unsatisfied with the result because it doesn't reflect my tireless 3 days worth of work. But nowadays I start projects, put them away, continue it later, and it's been so enjoyable. I take time to fix any small things I would have ignored in the interest of time, start over if necessary. Just you know, processing it slowly. Instead of rushing toward the result, the experience of whatever it is- is the most important. It's still a work in progress but i think this is one of the things that surprised me the most in myself - the fact that I'm even able to do it. Other things I've grown to like: autumn lol and maybe even winter just a teensy bit.

What are things you've learned this year? Oof a lot of things actually. I think I'll make a list from my journal - Every morning I get to decide how to live my life / what I prioritize - Allah will open doors for you from placed you couldn't imagine - But you have to put in some effort and show you're trying - Living is much easier when you accept it instead of fighting it -Surely as the evening comes after a scorching hot day, so too will respite from whatever you're struggling with, it is the law of the world (the mercy of Allah) and all that was only until June asdlkj let me not make this too long lol maybe I'll make a post on stuff I learned this year

What works did you enjoy this year, be it films, books or other art? Books: The Secret Garden, Born a Crime Movies/Anime: Spy x Family, Julie and Julia, Also I watched all the spiderman movies on some random week like a crazy person Other art: sarah burns studio on youtube and her seascape watercolor paintings. They're so simple but also really beautiful

Is there something you're still looking forward to this year? There's only 2 days left! I was looking forward to buying yarn and I got it yesterday, so excited abt that. I'm hoping to go the beach today or tomorrow and see (sea) the ocean so :') excited for that if it happens (its so cold tho who knows). OH ALSO i wanted to bake cookies for my students for the first day of classes back from break and might make those early so that too ! :D

What would you like to see happening next year? SO MUCH omg - 1. Improve my arabic: I enrolled in an Arabic class because I've literally forgotten so many things so excited abt that. I also signed up for some other islamic studies classes b/c there was a discount so hopefully those are fun too! 2. take more notes !!! I keep reading / listening to such good stuff and telling myself I'll write it down when I have more time later and never doing it D: so next year hopefully I fill up a notebook or smth with those 3. Hopefully get comfortable with traveling / visiting places and then do exactly that 4. D: waiting on the result of my interview for a 2023 internship 5. turn some good deed into an unconscious daily practice. Rn I'm thinking sunnah prayers, because I've kind of dropped off from regularly doing them in the last year :( 6. ART. MORE REGULARLY. like i was doing this year :') im pretty pleased with the amt of art i did this year alhamdulillah

Tagging: @wayfaringmuslimah, @gushuwa, @wecandoit, @frenchiepal @humble-boness, @ckmstudies, @juliistudies, @heliops, @museeofmoon, @iwillsurvivecollege, @learnelle, @caffeinatediaries, @caramelcuppaccino

#tagged #skldjfksf did i write too much lol #oh well 😌

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quotidian-oblivion · 1 year

Text

Green Leafy Croutons Part 2

I believe I never did explain the reason behind the name. It's an original recipe, yes. Inspired by my first meal from a cafe that i forgot the name of. My friend and i were texting and tryna come up with names for this recipe and together, by the power of our dumbasses, we came up with this. It can also be shortened to simply "Green Leafy".

Jason put his hands on his hip, looking pretty damn proud of himself.

Tim scrunched up his face in puzzled disapproval. "Green leafy?" he repeated.

"Yep," Jason grinned, a proud smile glowing as brightly as the fire on the stove behind him.

"So it's just... green leafy?"

"You got a problem with that?"

"No- well... maybe."

"It's a great name!" Jason protested, flinging his arms up.

"Oh yeah, sure." Tim rolled his eyes. "Hey, Bruce. Do you want some green leafy for breakfast?"

Jason narrowed his eyes. "I see nothing wrong with that statement."

Tim shook his head, throwing away the last of the eggshells.

So yeah: Green Leafy.

My sister took this picture for me. Isn't she a great photographer? /half sar

Alright! They're done!

Time to cremate the bread.

No, it's not a roll of toilet paper, it's cheese.

See?

I cannot cut cheese.

I really cannot cut cheese.

Okay, I forgot to add salt and pepper and lemon squeeze to the avocado, but my mum did it for me. I've plated the dish beautifully. Marvel on my creation:

I gave that to my mum. My dad is off starch so he just had the salad. My youngest sister had just toasted bread and avocado spread and cheese. My other youngest sis had toast, chicken, cheese, and lettuce. My sister had the full platter, just a little less of everything. And I had the full platter:

I cleared up the mess in the kitchen and washed the dishes first cuz i can't enjoy it unless i know that my whole job's been done. So it's a little cold. I'm trying it now.

...

BRO?

IT'S SO GOOD??

LIKE- I JUST HAD A SMALL BITE OF EGGS, CHICKEN, SALAD, AVOCADO TOAST, AND CHEESE TOAST AND- IT'S SO FREKAING GOOD??? I LOVE IT SO MUCH????? IA M NOT EVEN KIDDING???

Gonna turn this bad boy into a sandwich.

Look how thick this boy is.

It's so good, i can't even.

Scoffed down the sandwich. It's salad time!

Okay, i'm gonna be entirely honest here. The brie cheese was a bad idea. My cutting skills were also a bad idea. And not just the part where i cut my thumb. I didnt cut the cheese thin enough and it kinda overpowered everything, i had to force the last bites in and even then i left the salad and handed it over to my dad. I'm feeling a little sick rn cuz of the cheese, i shouldn't have turned it into a sandwich with that thick slice of cheese, but oh well, this was an experiment and it turned out good! You learned some and enjoyed some.

Overall, this took me around 2 hours to make because i'm a dramatic idiot who doesn't know how to manage her time and let her family starve.

Opinion: recipe is 10/10. Definitely try it out. Maybe add some flavor to the salad though, can't think what but it seemed too plain. Maybe that's just my desi tongue. Also, don't make the cheese too thick. You'll puke. Oh! And be careful with knives. It was getting hard to type on phone.

It's 1 am now cuz i spent the last couple of hours just dawdling around and watching documentaries with my fam and waiting out the sick feeling. I think i'll go to sleep now. I have so much work to do, but also going out with friends after months tomorrow, so def excited for that.

Dunno why im telling u all this, but ur hearing it anyway. I'm too sleeby and tired and head hurty.

Goodnight! Let me know if you tried this out! It's so definitely worth it I tell you. Stay safe and drink plenty water!

Part 1

Break Down ch: 2

#quotidian convos #green leafy #green leafy croutons #green leafy croutons part 2 #fanfic writer #jason todd #tim drake #part 2 #fanfic writer tries cooking #cooking #recipe #quo did stuff

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killbaned · 5 months

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im just glad i remembered to go over everything with my doctor this time. i mentioned the itching in my ears and she looked at them and said yeah they look runny but there's nothing indicating an ear infection, and it's probably allergies and linked to the sinus infection.

i updated her on finally getting the testing scheduled for the gut issues. she asked about the urology thing and i was like "i don't know because i emailed one of your girls with info from my insurance but it looks like the only other urologist around is also tied to [doctor that fired me] so i'm not going to be accepted there."

but i asked about a uro-gyn since most of my problems are related and i kind of hit a wall with the normal gyn because she kept defaulting to "that's urology". there are literally NO urologists around me.

the only issue is that the uro-gyn is in jax and i don't trust taking my car on the interstate or that far rn. i hope next week i can finally start getting the tires replaced on the car, and then after that get the inside work done for the a/c and such.

i just. thought it'd be pulling full time money by now and i'm not. i fucking. asked our scheduler "hey [store manager] and [my direct supervisor] told you i can come in and close any day of the week now right?" and she fucking said no.

no one told her i now have open availability and that i was trying to get more hours.

so what's the point of talking directly to the people in fucking charge lmao.

as now i'm just waiting to get this testing over with because i know the anesthesia is going to fuck me up for a few days and i took time off for it. by the time the testing is done and i'm back to work the schedule for the following few weeks should be out. i reminded our scheduler we'd been talking about me getting extra hours in bopus and that i'm still wanting to do that, so we'll see.

they just fired someone in there so there's a gap and i know they need coverage. i'm not expecting two of the people at the desk to last for much longer so i'm just :\

if nothing's changed once the end of feb/beginning of march schedules drop i'm gonna start looking at what else is hiring for full time closer. i don't WANT to because the other issue is the FMLA thing and if i can get full time where i'm at i'll meet the hours requirement in a few months versus having to wait over a year at a new place.

also for the most part i genuinely like where i'm at and the people i work with. but something has to give because i have expenses i can't keep putting off (the car) and i need to start pulling money so i can start saving to fucking move and get the fuck out of here.

i just feel like i'm spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere but it's a matter of solving these digestive issues. i've gone from eating one small meal a day to only being able to eat solid food every 3+ days. it's not sustainable.

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theflowersaremine · 8 months

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called out sick from college for today because im not coping and it's caused a flare up and i'm tired so i made my comfort boy on bg3 and i love him so sosososo much ugh

my tutor will mark me as working from home if i send her some images of things i've done today so i'll make a start on that after but rn i'm just trying to process this fuckin dump of shit that has been thrown at me dfkjdfgkj

#personal

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freebooter4ever · 1 year

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Are the lines on your drawings stylistic choices or are they measurement/guiding lines? Either way, they are cool, but just wondered. I dont understand drawing at all, might as well be a magic spell to me. I was looking at the pencil (?) sketch of Malkin with the cheesecutter hat on.

i, uh, definitely did not google 'cheesecutter hat' until after i saved out these images. :/ sorry about that. if you'd like the other one broken down, i can do that too lol. my reading comprehension when im tired is kinda lazy i just saw 'cheese' and imediately thought 'omelette'. SO here's the 1) initial sketch, 2) 'clean' sketch, and 3) final lines for the omelette boy drawing instead:

also i have had a cumulative of about 9 ish hrs of sleep total for the past two days so keep that in mind for if this explanation makes no sense, its not my fault. :( anyway! the way i draw definitely has changed over the years but currently im really trying to focus on the line i "see" rather than the one that is actually "there". i've been applying this to my writing for years (story vs happening truth) and you know it never occurred to me that i could do it in my drawings too till like...a few years ago. in general these lines seem to form the planes of the subject. if you google 'stanford bunny' you can find an easy example of a 3D surface turned into triangles. I do this too - see things in relative triangle proportions, except i've been doing it long before i knew how computers worked. i cant begin to tell you how long d*sney and cartooning's obsession with round building blocks of anatomical structure fucked with my brain until i finally decided i could cast that teaching aside completely.

ANYWAY sorry off subject again. so we have these sketchy under lines, and usually as im trying to find the proportions and form of the subject these lines end up being where the light/shadow hits. here i saved out the 1) 'flat colors', 2) the 'light', and 3) the 'shadow' parts on their own (i lightened the background for the 'shadow' so its easier to see):

the light is like four or five 'overlay' layers of pale yellow/orange. you can see how each of these layers follow one of those sketchy lines i did initially. and the same with the shadow but instead its a dark red color set to 'multiply' for each layer. and when you combine everything together you get:

some bullshit :). anyway you know that anniversary edition of beauty and the beast that featured the version previewed to nyc audiences in 1990 with the glen ke*ne sketchy keyframe animation of the beast's transformation? i watched that - must have been sometime after i graduated college - and i felt robbed that THAT version was never presented as a final piece. the 'unclean' drawings had so much more life and movement and intensity to them. tldr i like the messy lines, i hate 'inking' with a passion (HATE. IT.), and when i finally allowed myself to stop giving a fuck drawing became way more interesting. but my art is shit and i will never be glen k*ane so i dont really feel like the best advocate for this "style". alas. there was this one artist on tumblr who i fucking loved whose sketches were SPECTACULAR but the asshole racists in the m*c*ha*nz*o fandom bullied her off tumblr and ive never been able to find her art anywhere else since. she was also very negative about her 'unclean' sketches and it made me so sad. there was also this other artist whose sketches were awe inspiring but all she drew was p*rn and well...we all know what happened on tumblr in december 2018.

also i 100% stole the lighting scheme from The Bear which is currently one of the most gorgeous shows on television right now in my opinion

im really really sorry if this makes no sense, if im feeling motivated maybe i'll try again when my brain is fully functioning but with the actual 'cheesecutter hat' doodle ^_^

#thank you #wip #where in the world did that hat get the name cheesecutter from????#i guess it does look vaguely cheese wedge like #theres such a fine line between different hat forms #like those 1920s styles especially i mean #for some reason i always thought that style was called the *directors* hat #and then the more round and floppy version walt wore in the 1920s was called either newsboy or cabby hat #i searched for a version of walt's hat for YEARS #and didnt end up finding one until i moved to los angeles and stepped into go*rin bros hat shop in old pas #which is actually the same company geno uses for his trucker hat i think #that hat shop sadly closed :( i dont know why #they just sell online now i guess

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 1 year

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well I've had an interesting first week of the year back at work. I managed to get through to my usual doctor this week, which is a bit of a miracle, considering she's always back late jan/early feb each year. she's recommended 3 places for me to ring to follow up on a probable ADHD diagnosis. the best one is one in Sydney, in Bondi.

but to do all of their tests would mean I'd try to jam them into a week, if I could (probs not let's be real), or each time I do one I spend on a hotel room to stay up there, since I just wouldn't feel bothered to the 2 hour drive home after 8 hours of tests. but the Sydney one gives you a brain scan which would be super cool. but also if you managed to get bulk billed, it's $1,200. also they don't focus on meds, they focus on "brain based" and behaviour change stuff.

the other 2 places are local to my area, but you have to ring to find out their prices. but on the other hand, my doc said to leave all this stiff until after I have my colonoscopy that's booked for a couple weeks from now, on the 16th.

work is better since I'm not at a tired low point like I was at the end of last year. my boss is a bit happier that I'm turning up at the office at around 8:50 roughly and set up by 9. but yeah I hate having to cut my pre work bed relax after my bath each morning to 7:15 to get out the door by 8;20. but rn 8:20 is only working bc it's the school holidays so I'm not locked into the mronjng school run traffic and school zones right next to my house (basically). so it means I will have to bother to leave at 8:15 or whatever when school starts back up again on jan 31st.

but yeah. I still haven't handed in any of my unfinished (or unstarted) cadestship assessments; bc I forgot right before we left of chrissy/NY break to ask our outsourced IT guys to set up our VPN access app (it just gives you a code to type in) on my phone to access the work hard drive at home lmao. so I've meant to start this week, but I just haven't.

aside from work, the other interesting thing is that someone from the catholic school I went to for years 7-10 from 2008 til 2011, decided to invite me to a 10 year reunion that someone else from our year group from that school set up on Tuesday on fb for October this year. and I was just so surprised that someone bothered to remember me and invite me.... and I feel kinda touched tbh lol. bc i didn't even graduate with them properly, in a way, in 2013, bc I obvs graduated at the public school that I transferred to. it's so random that someone thought to invite me all these years later.

and I'm also stressing over the event a little. mostly on the level of what to wear to it, obvs lmao. but also, most of these people are successful working in good jobs. or they run their own successful local businesses/take over their parentd businesses.

while, on the other hand. I finish my cadetship in march, and I have no idea whether i'll be kept on where I am or whether I'll be somewhere else or jobless lmao. but anyway. it's going to be so weird seeing anyone from that school again, when half of them have kids and are married now or some have even divorced or split from their partners that they married in our early 20s (or at least that's what I've deduced from their name changes on fb back to their original last name I knew them by in school).

also im bitterly jealous of a few of them because they've bought their first house or have a second house and are using their first as an investment property. like bruh. am I the only one who still hasn't moved out of home yet??? and obvs there are obvs other people renting but still. am i the only one still at home??? I don't want questions about that tbh.

like is it even worth catching up with these people, when I still remember the derision I got from one of the girls from my group from that school, when I ran into her at uni back in 2016??? how she told me that everyone was actually SO GLAD that I'd left bc apparently they were all secretly harbouring embarrassment for my behaviour and my "attention seeking" or whatever the fuck she said to me???? but also part of me hopes that rich boy goes and is happy to see me and I'll get to congratulate him in person on his engagement or perhaps being married by the time this event happens (if it even does lmao). and that's my other thing. could just be an elaborate joke where they do this, and I turn up, but NO ONE is there???? like hello trust issues, aren't you looking very sexy this week.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona's work thoughts

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munamania · 1 year

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abelia, daffodil, camellia, jasmine, nutmeg, 3, 12, 21, 37, 49 go crazy

tehehe let's go

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

i want to be that bitch but i hate having things touching me when they don't have to be. closest i got was a necklace i had on for several months but i snapped it over spring break :/ ig hopefully when i get a piercing i'll have that at least!

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

yes i do! i have two older siblings. i've always been told i'm very similar to my brother, which i find sweet and heartbreaking cause he was in college before i was even like. conscious. i looked up to him so hard though so it makes sense. i have a similar like physicality to him too. i think we're all u know. a product of our upbringing. my brother has always been an artsy dude, always more of a radical thinker and funny and i've modeled my music taste after him for a large part of my life. he's a little more of a stiff now having like a family and a job but he is a freelancer so that's cool lol. my sister is hardcore like. she's disney adult not in an I can't forgive you way but it becomes a bit much very quickly. she and her husband are very Capitalism. she's also very much more likely to side with my dad on things or at least vouch for his perspective. so i think there's always been a bit more of a tough barrier between us. but i've still hung out with her and her husband a lot in the last several years

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

mm. i dont know that we wanna get into this <3 im the same im different every little girl i've ever been lives inside me idk who she was at the time idk if i know who she always was but we're all here and also i've changed so much in a year alone but i have a lot of the same um problems lol idk

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

i don't have a good answer for this other than i still havent rewatched dead poets society since november 2019.

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

UGH um just once i would like to have a genuinely homey feeling room but something still feels off. i have some posters and i got lights but it still feels like. cold. idk!

3. do you leave the window open at night?

not rn but you know who does! peeta <3 during summer i like to yeah unless it's way too humid or something

12. what kind of day is it?

i was on a shoot today for someone's short film and it was really fun! i love working in film i love the crews i've worked with. i stepped in this GIANT puddle and my foot got so so so cold but luckily it was a moderately warm day out. otherwise im very tired and lacking motivation but um <3 we stay silly

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

i have cards from when i was really little and a lot of notebooks and papers from like middle school containing plenty of bad fanfiction and notes passed between my friends and random written rps

37. someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

this one friend of mine who's like insane like i've almost cut her off several times. but we just don't talk a lot. and two of my other friends who are twins and are literally always a piece of my heart though it's been so long since we've really talked

49. can you skip rocks?

i used to be pretty okay at it as a kid now... idk i might flop <3 i'd still try though. sometimes i just liked to throw bigger rocks to see a splash

#asks #still using these as motivation um thanks for letting me just talk and talk and talk <3

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winchesterwitch07 · 2 years

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i have a physics exam tomorrow

the first physics exam of the year

I've been feeling sucky recently (i was sick and there was the usual family drama) and i fell into my old pattern of planning rigorously, getting overwhelmed, wasting my time, and hating myself for it

I'm trying really hard to stop letting bad things completely mess me up bc no matter how justified i might be in crying and feeling absolutely fucking terrible, i can't let it stop me from doing what i need to do, because i can't just wait till I get better or take time for self care because I'd have to be doing that constantly because literally every time i step out of my room the life is drained out of me and i go back on the verge of tears. Not to mention the fact that I've been stifling all of this and I'm constantly dehydrated. I'm snapping way faster bc all of my family's shit is just getting to me rn like it's never ending. I can't grab a bun without my mom yelling at me because she wants to know everything i eat and when so she can control me like I'm her prisoner. I'm tired of doing literally anything and having my brother call me useless. I'm so fucking tired of people acting like they care and being nice and fun but the second I'm not exactly what they want they tear me to pieces and they have been doing this for years but now it feels like my walls are crumbling...like okay it's like all this while I've been building a wall and they've been hacking at it from the other side, exhausting but balanced. Now it's like they got a bulldozer somehow and are sitting on the other side laughing and drinking and having fun and im frantically trying to protect myself but i keep getting bruises and having to hush hush and get back to work or I'd die and-

You get it

I need to stop letting them get to me

I don't know how

For now my strategy is to listen to the appropriate playlist and pretend like I'm in a movie bc in movies when you're almost dead you get an epic montage and/or fight scene so

*sigh*

Here's what imma do:

I'm gonna get some water. In a fancy mug so I'll drink it.

I'm gonna get some back up water so i don't have to leave.

I'm gonna get an apple so i don't have to leave my room when i get hungry in an hour

I'm gonna turn the ac on bc cold somehow means study!

I'm gonna get those cookies out of my room and clear my desk bc studying on my bed with the little tiny desk isn't helping cause i jsut push it away with my earth hands and the tables gone and I'm just in bed with a phone so

Clear top of my desk so i can sit there

Instruct family members to stay out (we'll see how thst goes, the ge...how do you spell that... hot water thing..is in my room)

And there's quite a few non exam things i need to do since I've missed a week of school being sick and that's very overwhelming but I've declared it all not my priority rn

I'm gonna do physics, make sure i can do well tomorrow

And hopefully

HOPEFULLY, I'll be able to do my english notes bc i was supposed to submit them like so long ago but i was sick but i like my english teacher and i don't want her to be mad you know

Okay folks

That's the plan

send me good vibes and some..some nice ice water...or strawberries

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gayspock · 1 year

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ok im finished with s2 of bsg btw

EVERY TIME I THINK I KNOW HOW BAD GAIUS CAN FUCK UP HE ASTONISHES US ALL. ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY. HES THE FUNNIEST FUCKING CHARACTER EVER TO FUCKING EXIST.

LIKE IVE NEVER... THE WORD CRINGEFAIL? ITS FOR HIM AND ABOUT HIM; DEFINED BY HIM. HOW DOES HE FUCKING MANAGE IT. IM LOSING MY MIND. THIS MAN WILL DOOM US ALL . GOD SPEED

anyways im starting the resistance webisodes rn. a few things. i hope going forward we do get more development for the civilians and again not the same recurring issues ive been bringing up bc NOW i feel like its imperative that theyre well fleshed out if this is taking the direction i think its taking

bc otherwise this whole thing could be exhausting as hell LOL

also cally. her actress is really cute and early on i was endeared to her (bc shes set up as a chara i'd rlly like) but since then its so funny like... they just get her to do whatever the fuck huh. like. she'll shoot sharon or she'll get beat up and now shes married to the chief. ok. right. its so funny like shes existing outside the narrative until they randomly decide to ave her do osme shit

btw i bet if billy was still alive the voter fraud well they would have still been caught no doubt tory fucking rules but it would have been funny if billy was caught instead

ALSO GOD I DONTKNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY MY BRAINS EVERYWHERE LIKE

i dont know how i feel about the cylon storyline right now. i absolutely did really love the caprica six and boomer episode bc theyre my favies BUT im unsure if i like it narratively speaking does that make any sortof sense

again i think its coming from a place of like... hmm... the societal aspects of cylons ALSo has always felt underdeveloped BUT that was more passable under the guise of mystery and NOW i think its one of those things where its like... ahrgh you've tried to put the bad sfx into good lighting and we can see it dont do thattt LOL bc like

i dont know i do worry that the cylons will approach a state of "too human" if that makes sense. like within the story and within their own motivations. i dont quiteknow how to describe it im very tired but its like... I DONT mean discussing how they're like/unalike humans thats FINE but. AHRHGHGHGHGG

YOU KNOW WITH LIKE EVERY AI STORYLINE THERE'S ALWAYS THAT "I'LL NEVER BE AREAL HUMAN

YEAH but then a lot of the time its still done in a very... human way even when theyre trying to reject it and... NOT purposefully its like people cant write an actual inhuman perspective, without assuming some fundamental aspects of human nature. does that make any sense in the world and whatsoever???

anyways i dont know my point is i get a little anxious the more and more aspects of cylons that come to light bc i feel like ive been anticipating A LOT with them with the wa y theyve been stringing us along but yeah theres behaviours like that where im like am i about to get terribly disappointed

speaking of im wondering who he other cylons are in the fleet still bc they mentioned 8 and idk if that meant 8 copies or 8 models and who that counts as but surely there must be some unrevealed did the girlies just pretend thats not a concern or assume it was porkie pies

also also im . very tired all over the place but hmm.im thinking moreso about the nature of the others and i think i brought up last time abt how lee couldnt be a copy bc theyd have to make a line of models identical to him and so and such BUT ehhrm. hm. i still dont think lee is one but i do wonder if like... the order of their numbers is significant that maybe like. there are later/newer models thatmight be unique or are working to be replicas of existing people rather than just .. whatever is occurring with them rn

alsog od what else

roslin is so girlboss funny for just becoming a teacher again

what else

idk

im tired

i'llremember whatelse later<3

#Egg.txt #bsg liveblog

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

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HI! I FINALLY HAVE TIME! VERY TIRED BEEN UP SINCE 7 BUT REALLY WANNA READ AND LIVEBLOG CAUSE I MISS THAT SHIT

also I think I might be lactose intolerant? but I only get really fucking bad headaches, nausea and the like from milk but am pretty okay with other dairy products and it...oh wait no ice cream and yogurt also make me sick after I pass a certain limit and is this why cheese makes my stomach feel weird sometimes? okay theory, I am not TOO lactose intolerant. main problem is milk and the rest I can have in limits. makes sense.

also HOW ARE YOU?? I'VE BEEN SO SWAMPED WITH THINGS THAT I'VE SPENT MOST NIGHT SO DRAINED AND DEAD IT'S CRAZY.

BUT I DID CATCH UP ON IALS AND READ THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS OF LBAF.

alright! CHAPTER 4!!

david loml it'll be fine...probably idk man I am really scared for y'all

Alright random person...I will fight you in an abandoned parking lot for this DO NOT DO THIS SHIT

David :((

First I cry over IALS mavid...now I have to cry over lbaf mavid. what is this happening

DAVID! NO DO NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!

also there's this thing called Communication. Not sure y'all have heard of it though. Lmk if you need a dictionary :)

to the fucker attacking the institute, motherfucker I will literally push you off a building

maybe it's someone who wants him to not be the head of the institute for whatever reason?

Anyway Anjali so hot so efficient would literally die for her

david you good bro? God I love it when the kind ones go feral

no but srsly you good? Well no but like...Im worried. For his health. David :((

“Ask for help,” she said again. “And if you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break.”

QUEEN SHIT

“Revenge means you are being harmed in return for the suffering you’ve caused,” Anjali told him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You did the right thing. So, even if it is Asmodeus, this isn’t revenge. This is an attack, David. And I intend to put an end to it.”

God I love it when women

the picture I WILL SOB DO NOT DO THIS TO ME

Them :((

“Why do people call me baby boy or baby girl?” David wondered out loud.

AJHSHUIDC JACE

petition to only call david baby boy or baby girl from now on

I've been watching The Crown (it took me three days to get through episode 1 but let's not talk about that) so I am literally hearing all the dialogues in with an english accent. It's...something

Some people drank alcohol to relax. David drank tea.

Bitch same.

I've lately fallen in love with Earl Gray. I drink it while I'm studying. I sit down at my desk with my tea and only then do I get to work. Helps me focus and keep my anxiety at bay. Good shit.

same energy as me realising how quickly I had been going through my tea. I...I've been way too stressed lately too, hon. NOT THIS WEEKEND THOUGH HHAHA

he would love a cake <3

oh to have someone buy me overpriced magic chocolate

DARK?? HUH

prince...?

WJAT IS HAPPENING WOMAN EXPLAIN

that's so romantic though 🥺

LEVI?? TIS YOU??

in my relating a bit too much to david era kjkcuhud

Bitch I know you're stressed as fuck so like?? TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?? Srsly, shit's really hard rn for you and it's gonna get harder. Take a nap or something

“Mon ange,” David chuckled and pointed at the screen. “He went back in time and is literally trying to sleep with his own mother.”

I AM SORRY, WHO IS DOING WHAT NOW

NOT NOW! FUCK NO!

not the ICE CREAM

also yeeeeeeeeeee camilaaaaaaaaaa

david and anjali wedding CRYING SOBBING SHAKING LOOK AT THEM

that's a really long proposal dude you're not writing an essay

“My fave power couple is getting hitched. Do it soon!”

Live footage of me

omg the talk with the parents huduifuifugiugf

I love rafe so muvh omg

anjali truly the best person out there

THEM OH MY GOD THEM

I am so soft rn no one talk to me

Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.

SOBBING

they're so amazing I could cry

how bout I punch Kingsley

Oooo marcus

marcus is kinda cool though. I'll probably not like him by the end of this but still

what...what is he working on

what the fuck you on dude?

i love camila so much

damn girl!!

oh marcus...Yeah I remember now what he was doing...

ah yes, the seashell

cool motives but like...that's not gonna happen

we don't live in a perfect world bud. exploitation and prejudice are the first two words that come to my mind when I think of his thoughts becoming a reality.

He didn’t like it when Mallory was in a bad mood. He wanted her to be happy.

Mal in a bad book ends horribly for every person she has ever interacted with

DON'T SMOKE

I was watching The Crown and George is LIKE SICK AS FUCK MAN IS DYING LEAVING BEHIND A DAUGHTER NOT PREPARED FOR THE CROWN JUST YET AND HE'S SMOKING. Sir you just went through a surgery to remove one of your lungs?? you have cancer?? You're coughing up blood?? AND YOU'RE SMOKING!!!

"I know," she smiled at him. "My destiny is Max."

Oh no...I will stab :)

“I’ll ask Jeff to ready the jet,” he smiled at her.

The...what...that is so bad for the environment dude I'm pretty sure there is a beach in New York...I forgot how rich they were for a second there...Taylor swift core

Sometimes...you just wanna get stabby with someone...the someone is two someones...

If they do something to Anjali...

Sigh

AYY IT'S SELENA AND GIGI

AND LEXI

lexi...I love you so much but please...just talk to liv about this

YOU CAN'T DO SHIT LIKE THIS OH MY GOD

lexi YOU CAN FUCKING FLY

I will repeat advice I gave in part 2 (?). Fly there, tell her, fly away.

gabriel and selena >>>>

“Relationship drama waits for no one,” Selena huffed. “Besides, stop making excuses, Lex. Just do it.”

putting off stuff like this makes it so SO much worse lex.

LIV AND LEX ARE SO AMAZING

OH I HAVE A STORY

We threw a farewell for someone right? and that day my friends and I were all sitting together and one of us had a permanant marker so like rational people, we wrote on our hands. I wasn't sure what to write but then I remembered seeing an anon say that their shipname should be lixi so that is what ended up going on the place underneath my thumb. You know where you can feel the bone? I wrote "Lixi" right there. Nice day that was.

which reminds me I need to make plans for my birthday next week with my friends-

ANYWAY

No amount of biceps or boobs will distract her today.

me to me every morning

and I love you guys <33

The man went to Idris to talk to the Inquisitor.

Good luck and god bless!

SCREAMING

Lexi stared at the numbers. It gave her a fucking headache

Me in maths everyday.

My math test went so well today I got everything right EXCEPT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO SOLVE THE LAST PART OF THE LAST QUESTION I HAD THE TIME I SIMPLY DID NOT REMEMBER TO SOLVE IT FURTHER I WILL THROW MYSELF FROM A CLIFF

ahem

“Wait,” Lexi said. “Are you saying these are not demon attacks?”

Imma get the knives

Lexi was going to help Gabriel figure this out. She was going to find out who was hurting her brother like this.

Hurting him with paperwork!

And she was going to kick their ass!

AHHUKDCUIFV HELL YEAH LEX

lots of blob thingies

“Have you guys seen shadow demons? They’re the demons of Lucifer.”

foreshadowing

I am sorry they materialized WHERE

grabriel is so cool omg

THE SONG CHOICE YES

She was talking about some issue with the warlocks in LA not being able to use magic

foreshadowing

lexi NO METAPHORS PLEASE

Lex I told you not to go with metaphors...sigh

this is really entertaining though.

LMAOO LEXI PLEASE-

Oh. OH DISCOVERY

Shit. white...who's magic is white?

FUCKING HELL

and on this note a very good night I can't wait to sleep. LOVE YOU!

Evieeeee. I missed your live blogs so much 😭😭😭

Here is a meme that perfectly captures my reaction to it

I like the live blog too akskskssm but the random gossip 😍😍😍

Your Lexi energy is unmatched 😎

#lbaf

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