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lonicera-caprifolium · 9 months

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Body-swap theory!!

okay, just putting this all together for ease of access, since it's been spread out across several posts now--

The day after it aired I watched the ending like actually 30 times and I became fully 99.999999% certain they switched places. I was initially thinking during the kiss, cuz of how the camera angle changes, but after watching an additional 20 times a few days later, I'm personally leaning much more towards them stopping time in the instance after "no nightingales".

Before the kiss, Aziraphale is saying "nice" things about the Metatron, but his face and voice keep switching to broadcasting distress, and they make it a point to show in ep 1 that Crowley can read him just from tone of voice

As they're pulling away after the kiss, they lock eyes and "Aziraphale's" expression shifts in the teeniest tiniest way, like a confirmation glance, before they shift back (and Michael Sheen is a master, so no chance it's not on purpose)

---(Like really, go back and watch how Aziraphale's expression shifts literally *a second* before "I forgive you" cuz the change is SO minute, but entirely different emotionally.)

Also the way he moves his jaw right after he pulls his hand away from his lips, is a bit from MS's Crowley (you can see it in the very last two seconds of this vid- link)

Aziraphale's hands -stay by his sides- after that, he doesn't clasp them at all, and it's particularly noticeable while he's walking to the elevator with Metatron. The way he walks is very stiff and precise, similar to after the swap in S1.

We don't see the underside of Crowley's jacket collar after the kiss, at any point (it is for sure red at the beginning of the ep, you can see it right before he changes in Heaven)

The Bentley drives away SLOWLY, which is how Aziraphale drives, and we're specifically shown that it only plays other music for Aziraphale

the seats in the Bentley are black as it drives away. They're usually brown, and the only other time they're shown to be black is when Aziraphale drives (@picturesque-about-it broke down the times so you can see-link)

---extra pic for anyone saying it's "cuz Aziraphale is lighter"-- the seats are still brown behind Crowley when he wears white

there's people wearing yellow in -every- part of the scene showing the Bentley both before and while it drives away! (link for pics/credit)

Aziraphale's smile in the elevator looks more like MS's Crowley. It's very similar to the trial during S1, but also (link)

This also explains why they're on opposite sides than they're usually shown while the end credits roll

Extra points--

many good points made by other folks here, about cues and snakes in beehives and swap motifs throughout the season-- link

The clock! Someone mentioned how the scene is so quiet you can hear it ticking, so I watched the ending a further 50 times to double check----I need to preface this by stating, I don't think this is a working clock, mainly cuz the hands aren't 100% where they should be between the minutes and the hours, like -a person- moved them to that time manually

When they're talking, the clock is at approximately 9:25 (?, again the hour hand isn't precisely set), then they walk across the room, and kiss, and immediately after that the clock is set about 15-ish minutes later (link to timestamps)

thanks to these bts shots, we can see that the clock on the opposite side of the room registers the SAME time difference before and after the kiss (link)

the first time Aziraphale looks "towards the window", I'm petty sure he actually looks further back towards the clock, *focuses on it* as Metatron walks up to him, and then spends the ENTIRE REST OF THE EXCHANGE blocking the Metatron's view of the clock

we're shown earlier in the season that Crowley can localize his time-stopping to a certain extent, like when he stopped the doctor and the rest of the room kept going, so it is possible he only stopped everything -outside- of the bookshop

---I KNOW Neil said it's a continuity error, but he also fully said "No" about there being a season 2 just days before they announced it was already written and in production, so. Take him at his word if that's what you wanna do.

---also I DID go back and look it over, and the clock IS consistently specifically set the entire rest of the episode as far as I can see. From the shots when you have a clear view of the clock, the angels and demons enter the shop at around 6, Maggie and Nina leave at around 7, the Metatron comes in at 8-ish, Aziraphale comes back in at that approximately 9:25

(insight from someone who works in production- link)

the music right before the kiss scene is the same leitmotif (Life After Death) used when they originally started formulating the swap in season 1! (link)

the movie Stairway to Heaven (1946) is featured as a poster in both the opening credits and in Maggie's shop (link)

the climax of the film has one of the leads willing to "take the place" of the other in heaven

(they also used a time-stopping mechanic, and the chess book Gabriel tests gravity with also plays a key role in the film)

and one last mention, extra food for thought--- the season's focus on their trusting one another, their history of performing "death (and heaven/hell) defying" feats together, and how they always get the trick right when it truly counts the most

that's what I've got so far!

If I'm right, they're apart now, but are actually more together then ever, and I find that terribly exciting. (And if I'm wrong, that's okay too! I'm just here to have fun.)

I'm not particularly concerned with very specific reasoning (that's for season 3 to tell us!), but I do think this theory is extra fun cuz pretty much any of the others could be the "why" driving it.

I'm not trying to convince anyone, or put down any of the other theories, so if you're not feeling it, that's okay! I'm just sharing what clues I'm seeing, so you can check if you see them too. 💕

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 spoilers #Good omens s2 body-swap theory #long post #a snake in a beehive but this time -properly- disguised #there's a lot of little things and possibilities that make sense too #but this is just the main points I can see from things that are actually shown or featured #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley

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weebsinstash · 2 months

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Lucifer is getting the strap

I don't know if you've ever seen any of the theory posts but a lot of people have pointed out Lucifer's obsession with the circus and how his Hell is based off of a circus troupe. You've got him as the Ringmaster and he even pulled Charlie into a giant circus tent in "More Than Anything", Asmodeus with the contortionists, Bee is the animal shows, Mammon is... the musicians? Or the concessions lmao, although Bee does have cotton candy which is a common circus concession and she IS Gluttony so it could just as easily be her?

Anyways, I've been constantly thinking recently of Lucifer with a female Reader (obviously) but the other day some specific kind of clicked for me and like,

Lucifer is just watching Reader help out with the hotel construction and he's Trying To Be SO Normal as he's watching your arms flex when you lift things and the ways the muscles in your back move and MAYBE JUST MAYBE you aren't thinking straight when SUDDEN ACCIDENT and something is falling from above and, you just yoink him up off the ground and tug him back before something falls on him. It all happens so fast that you don't realize he could've defended himself totally fine and you're setting him down just SO embarrassed and meanwhile he's just looking up at you "so you're pretty strong, huh 😳👉👈"

I can just see Reader making some sort of joke later on, "well, don't most circus troupes have a strongwoman?" and Lucifer just looks up at you with the most 😍 ass expression because, you're basically like calling yourself a member of the crew, his daughter's crew really, but, he's part of it, so, like, you're basically saying you guys are great friends! And also feeding into his little... hobby obsession thing! He loves it ❤️

Of course then we have to have an incident where, Reader having freakish strength or not, you eventually need to be rescued. OR YOU STAND UP FOR LUCIFER AND IT DRIVES HIM WILD. Can you imagine being in a bar and some MASSIVE mountain of a dude starts giving you trouble and you're acting getting kind of scared and. Here's tiny Lucifer, "hey you shouldn't speak to her like that! Apologize!" And this guy just laughs in his fucking face and starts mocking him, talking down to him, Lucifer's face is turning RED--

and you just fucking slug the guy, "you can't fucking speak to him like that!!" Like imagine you're growling at this guy to get up and apologize to the King of Hell and it's like HE CANT YOU KNOCKED HIM UNCONSCIOUS and Lucifer's just, twirling a piece of his hair around a finger, "oh golly, you really gave it to him huh?" and grinning like an idiot

Tiny Lucifer loving when you wear heels and get EVEN TALLER or loving watching you work out or just DO things. No, please, by all means, wear those baggy shorts while you go for a run outside, he isn't drooling over your legs or anything! Maybe he's a little more sober when he "drunkenly" invites you to arm wrestle, just to feel your strength against him. SINGLE BRAINCELL BOTTOM LUCIFER WHO YOU SAVE FROM AN ACCIDENT SO HE INTENTIONALLY CAUSES MORE ACCIDENTS SO YOU SCOOP HIM UP MORE.

All I'm saying is that I work a manual labor job and I've been really slimming down and getting biceps and someday we're gonna enter our Muscle Mommy Reader era where she's just running around domming dudes and getting into bar fights and throwing cars at bitches. Vox or Val gives you some lip and you're grabbing them by the throat and pushing them down into their seat and telling him to stop being such a bad boy or you'll have to punish him, before suddenly remembering You're At Work and frantically apologizing before running off while they wonder when the fuck you got so strong and... also how much would they have to pay you to do that again--

#yandere x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere hh #yandere hellaverse #sinprompts

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sixhours · 3 days

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Firsts - Colic

Rating: Everyone Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel and Ellie, Ellie Williams, Joel Miller x f!OFC, soft!Joel, no really super soft!Joel, Joel is a sap, mostly follows canon, fluff, fluffy baby stuff, no really this is sickeningly sweet, tooth-rotting, don't forget to brush your teeth Word count: 1.8k

Notes: I promise it's just fluff this time. Sickly sweet with a dash of humor, nary an angsty cloud in sight. Joel thinks of Sarah but it's not sad.

You can also read Firsts on AO3.

~*~

Six weeks.

Joel holds Anna on his right shoulder and walks her up and down the hall, patting and shushing and soothing, knowing it does absolutely no good. His socks are threadbare from all the pacing, and he could swear there’s a fresh trench in the wood floors where they take turns walking her back and forth, back and forth.

He’s never been more grateful to be almost deaf in one ear; at least the ringing dulls the constant wail.

No one sleeps. Even Ellie has taken to wearing earplugs to bed because she can hear the kid crying from her room in the garage.

The midwife–doubling as the town’s resident pediatrician–was as helpful as the goddamned pacifier that Anna refuses to take. The baby is gaining weight, eating well, outgrowing her newborn clothes. She’s alert and healthy and this awful phase is just that–a phase, and a perfectly normal part of her development.

So says the woman who doesn’t have to listen to her every night.

“Just don’t shake her,” the midwife says dismissively, handing the baby back to Joel after her third evaluation that week. “She’s fine.”

Joel thinks if he were going to shake anyone, it would definitely not be the baby.

During the day, Anna is a tiny joy, all gummy smiles and coos. Little fingers scratch at his beard and pull his hair and he nuzzles her round little belly with his big nose and his heart is so full it hurts.

But five o’clock rolls around and their sweet little angel morphs into an angry demon who sleeps in half-hour fits between feeding and screaming. She won’t take a bottle or the breast, she’s dry, she’s not gassy, and short of being pinched by invisible ghosts–a theory he and Charlie debated at length during a particularly exhausting night when they were both half delirious with sleep deprivation–there’s nothing to do but wait it out.

And so it’s pacing, and swaying, and rocking, and shushing, and they’re all shuffling around like infected during the daytime.

“C’mon, kiddo,” he sighs, deciding to take Anna downstairs for a change of scenery. Not that she’s seeing much, little eyes all scrunched up as she concentrates all her energy on exercising her lungs.

Joel hums and murmurs as he makes a fresh circuit around the living room, the kitchen, the dining table, then back. On the fourth pass, he pauses to look out the window over the kitchen sink and sees the glow of Ellie’s light from the shed. He and Anna aren’t the only ones up at this hour.

After one more lap, he decides what the hell, the baby can scream just as well in the fresh air as she can in the house. He grabs the infant snowsuit that’s still a size too big off the coat rack and starts to bundle her up. It dwarfs her tiny, scrunched-up body, but at least it’s warm.

“I know, baby girl, I know,” he murmurs, working her little arms and legs into the torture device as she screams louder, only quieting a fraction when he picks her back up and stuffs her down the front of his jacket, turning it into an improvised sling.

What he wouldn’t give for his old pickup right now. When Sarah was fussy he could strap her into her car seat, turn the radio on low, and drive around the neighborhood until the rumbling of the engine knocked her out. Better than Benadryl, his mother used to say.

But life in the apocalypse is a mostly manual affair, and strapping the kid to the back of a horse isn’t an option. Neither is Benadryl. Not that he’s considered either.

Not often, anyway.

He steps onto the porch and the early February air is a brief shock. Anna settles for a few precious seconds. It doesn’t last, but it’s long enough for Joel to take a deep breath, nuzzling the baby’s forehead, grounding him in her sweet, milky scent.

“Little bug,” he murmurs into the fur of her snowsuit. “You ready to sleep, hmm? Got it all out of your system?”

Her response is a resounding wail.

“Alright, I hear ya,” he mutters, and begins a meandering walk down the porch steps, to the curb, to the end of the street, and back. Five more laps until he trods back up the porch steps with a still-crying baby in his arms, no closer to sleep than he was twenty minutes ago.

The porch swing is lightly covered in snow, so he dusts it off and plops down, immediately taking up the back-and-forth motion, relieved to be off his feet even as Anna continues her symphony of sadness. He tips his head back and closes his eyes and sings aloud. He’d prefer to have a guitar in his lap, but no one will be able to hear his gravely voice over the sound of Anna’s crying, anyway.

But I've wandered much further today than I should,

And I can't seem to find my way back to the wood,

Help me if you can, I’ve got to get back to the house at Pooh Corner by one,

You'd be surprised, there's so much to be done.

Count all the bees in the hive,

Chase all the clouds from the sky,

Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh…

“That’s a weird fucking song.”

He pauses, cracks an eye to watch as Ellie plods up the porch steps, hands stuffed in the pockets of her sweatshirt, wincing at the racket.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “We wake you?”

“Nah, couldn’t sleep. Scootch.”

He does, moving over so she can join him on the swing. Ellie peers at the screaming bundle perched on Joel’s chest.

“She’s still at it, huh?”

“Yup,” he mutters. “She’ll wear herself out here pretty soon…I hope.”

“I forgot how loud they are,” she sighs, falling into the same rhythm on the swing as they rock together. “The babies at the orphanage used to keep me up at night.”

He tries to keep a neutral face. He imagines Ellie at Anna’s age, left to cry for hours with no one to pick her up and pace the floor, no one to answer. It tugs at something deep and raw inside him, something that makes him want to hold her too tight. She doesn’t talk about her life before they found each other, but he knows what it was like in the QZ; no birth control, too many kids and a lot of dead parents. The orphanages were packed.

“Want me to take her for a bit?” she offers.

“Sure, if you want,” he shrugs. “She’s windin’ down.”

Joel pulls the squalling baby out of his makeshift jacket carrier.

“Behave for your sister, bug,” he murmurs, placing a kiss on the baby’s angry, sweaty temple before handing her over, biting his tongue on a reminder to support her head and neck as he watches Ellie do just that.

Ellie props Anna up on one shoulder, patting her back and rubbing in circles the way Joel showed her. After a few minutes, Anna’s cries dwindle to soft whines and whimpering hiccups.

“Look who’s got the magic touch,” she says, smug.

Joel tips his head back and closes his eyes, smiling, soaking in the sudden and blissful quiet. “You caught her at the right time. She was gonna settle down any minute.”

“Yeah, right,” she snorts, pretending to talk to the baby. “She just didn’t want to be stuck with her stinky old man all night, huh? I’d cry too if I had to walk around strapped to this asshole.”

“Smartass. S’normal for ‘em to cry at this age,” Joel says, more to reassure himself than her. “Sarah went through it, too, I think. Don’t ‘member much about it, just that I didn’t sleep then, either.”

“What about Sarah’s mom?”

“She, uh…she had a hard time after the baby came. Happens like that sometimes. Didn’t really…bond, I guess.”

Her eyes widen. “So what, she just…left?”

“Yeah.”

Ellie whistles softly, shifting Anna’s weight in his arms. “That’s fucking rough, dude. I’d be pissed.”

Joel considers this carefully. “Yeah, I was…for a while. But it was prob’ly for the best. Her loss an’ all.”

“Nobody’s gonna leave you, kid,” Ellie says softly, tilting her head back to see Anna’s little face, almost hidden in the fur of her snowsuit. “We’re gonna be around for a long, long time…me, your dad, and Charlie.”

He watches them out of the corner of his eye, his daughters. Anna, still wide awake, making gentle cooing sounds against her sister’s shoulder, whose body he cradled in his arms as she took her first breath. Ellie, the scrappy, scrawny QZ kid who greeted him with the broad swing of a knife, who saved him in ways he is only just beginning to understand.

Christ, I’m a fuckin’ sap , he thinks, swallowing hard, blaming the sudden tightness in his throat on exhaustion.

“So…still think you’re never havin’ kids?” he asks.

“You that eager to be a grandpa, old man?” she counters.

He smirks. “Didn’t say that.”

“I dunno,” she frowns at the baby. “She’s not exactly selling it. No sleep, diapers…and there’s that whole childbirth thing. Yuck.”

Anna gives an indignant squawk.

“Yeah, I know, she’s not bein’ very nice to you, huh?” Joel says in mock sympathy. “Pickin’ on a helpless li’l baby.”

“Just telling it like it is.”

Ellie looks over at him after a few minutes. “You know I like girls, right?”

“...do I know that?”

She rolls her eyes. “Dude, c’mon .”

“I’m just sayin’...we’ve never really, uh, talked about that…stuff.”

“Well…I like girls, Joel.”

“An’ I am one-hundred percent fine with that,” he says easily. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a family if you want.”

“Wow, you really don’t know how babies are made,” she says dryly. “And here I thought you were just ‘really fuckin’ drunk.’”

He arches an eyebrow. “We were, but that’s–wait, how did you–”

“Charlie told me.”

“Of course she did,” he mutters. “So uh, sure, that’s, uh…one way. But family doesn’t have to mean blood.”

He nudges her boot with his, gives her a meaningful look.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she softens. “But don’t think I’m gonna start calling you ‘Dad’ or something, asshole.”

“Call me whatever you want, kid…just don’t call me late for dinner,” Joel yawns.

“Ugh, that’s such a dad thing to say,” she groans, but she leans in, snuggling closer in a rare moment of affection. He puts his arm over the back of the swing and Ellie rests her head on his shoulder.

“Think she’s almost out,” he murmurs after a while, leaning back to peer into the hood of the snowsuit where Anna has gone quiet, blinking drowsily at him. “We can go in.”

“M’kay,” Ellie whispers, but she makes no move to get up, and he’s in no rush to interrupt this tenuous peace.

The porch swing creaks its familiar rhythm into the night. Joel places a kiss on Ellie’s temple, and Anna finally sleeps.

#the last of us fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #babyfic #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfic #fluff

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 1 month

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Get To Know Me Tag

Tagged by @lurkingshan. Thank you

Do you make your bed?

Not since I was a kid and my mum would make me.

What’s your favorite number?

2. But all even numbers will do.

What is your job?

I work for a nonprofit.

If you could go back to school, would you?

In theory yes, but really no.

Can you parallel park?

Of course.

A job you had that would surprise people?

The only thing that surprises people is the amount of jobs I've had.

Do you think aliens are real?

I think it would be weird if we were the only life forms in the immensity of the universe but who knows?

Can you drive a manual car?

This question always sounds so weird to me. Cause where I'm from, you either can drive or not. There's no such follow up question.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

If it's a pleasure, I'm not feeling guilty.

Tattoos?

Yes. 3.

Favorite color?

Black. And purple.

Favorite type of music?

A lot of different ones. Depends on the mood.

Do you like puzzles?

Nope. They drive me crazy. I don't have the patience.

Any phobias?

Besides my agoraphobia, I fear nothing, lol

Favorite childhood sport?

Gymnastics.

Do you talk to yourself?

All the time. I'm the most interesting the person around most of the time. Or maybe it's because I'm the only person around most of the time. Pick your favourite.

What movies do you adore?

So many. The last one I adored was Suk Suk.

Coffee or tea?

Nothings better than coffee. But I really like tea too.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I don't remember but probably something to do with animals or the sea.

I have no idea who's done this so I'll tag some people but of course no pressure. @colourme-feral @twig-tea @blmpff @troubled-mind @mikuni14 @thisonelikesaliens @hyeoni-comb @guzhufuren @iguessitsjustme @itsallaboutbl 💜💜💜

#tag game

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lurkingshan · 1 month

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Get To Know Me Tag

Tagged by my darling @telomeke, thanks Tel!

Do you make your bed?

It’s the first thing I do every morning, because I am Like That. I can hear @bengiyo booing already.

What’s your favorite number?

21. I don’t actually remember why. 🤔

What is your job?

I’m a consultant, and I will leave it at that maddeningly vague description.

If you could go back to school, would you?

Absolutely not, I did my time in those mines.

Can you parallel park?

Not really, because I’ve never lived anywhere where perfecting the skill was necessary. It’s not natural for me because my spatial reasoning skills are just awful.

A job you had that would surprise people?

I don’t think I’ve had any? I had a pretty classic job trajectory from babysitting to restaurant work to school-related internships to my primary career.

Do you think aliens are real?

I think there are definitely other life forms in the universe that we don’t know about but I sincerely doubt any of the depictions in our media have captured them properly.

Can you drive a manual car?

Like parallel parking, I know the theory but have had no reason to perfect the skill.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I don’t feel guilty about my pleasures.

Tattoos?

One that I got on my 18th birthday just because I could. It has no special meaning and it’s in a spot I can’t see so I mostly forget it’s there until someone else notices it and expresses shock. I guess I don’t seem like the tattoo type.

Favorite color?

It changes with my moods, I’ve been feeling purple lately.

Favorite type of music?

As if. I like so much music of so many types.

Do you like puzzles?

Yes, but I am only rarely in the mood to do one. I like it as a group activity you can do with friends while chatting.

Any phobias?

Hmm. There are things I don’t like but I don’t think anything rises to the level of a phobia.

Favorite childhood sport?

Softball, I was a pitcher!

Do you talk to yourself?

Constantly.

What movies do you adore?

I’ve never been much of a movie girlie, I like long form fiction which is why dramas are more my bag.

Coffee or tea?

I tragically had to give up coffee for my health so now it’s primarily green tea for me.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Alone. :)

Tel probably already tagged everyone we mutually know but just in case I will tag @twig-tea @sorry-bonebag @neuroticbookworm @hyeoni-comb @my-rose-tinted-glasses @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle @blmpff @happypotato48 @befuddledcinnamonroll.

#tag game

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weepylucifer · 5 months

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24. "You're trembling." steban/ulixes

The whole mess starts like this: one afternoon, Ulixes doesn't turn up to the reading group meeting.

His absence is a stark confrontation with the fact of how alone Steban is. Thus far, as long as at least Ulixes was still coming to the meetings regular as clockwork, Steban could go on with business as usual and put off reckoning with how solipsistic his little pretense at a revolutionary cell has become. Pretend like any educating of anyone in matters of radical theory was still being done here... like other members could walk in at any moment and give the whole thing a purpose again. Now, with Ulixes absent, Steban sits and waits and drinks too much coffee and feels, though he tries to ignore it, a bit like an idiot with his metaphorical dick in his hand.

He considers his options: he could go out and try to recruit again, he could go to bed and have a depressive episode, he could do serious self-critique about where the reading group went astray and why, he could wallow in his misery about driving his friends away with leftist infighting. He could disband the reading group. He could steal Cindy's pyrholidon and get high. He could go to Uli's apartment and start a huge fight about his perceived betrayal. He could get high, go to Uli's apartment, and have a sobbing breakdown about how Uli is his only friend and Uli's absence would destroy his life.

All those destructive impulses are eventually pushed aside, and Steban decides he will go to Uli's apartment, to check if there's something wrong with him. Uli has never missed a meeting before. Maybe it's not betrayal yet. Maybe there's something he needs...

When he, an hour later, knocks on Uli's door, Ulixes opens looking perturbed and disheveled, but at least he doesn't seem sick or hurt.

"Hi," Steban says. "You--"

"Oh no. The meeting..." Ulixes looks so caught out and almost frightened that whatever was left of Steban's sense of betrayal immediately evaporates. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to miss it, I've been out all day and... I only just came back here, you have to believe me..."

Steban raises a hand. He doesn't like seeing his friend so anxious. "It's alright. What's going on?"

Ulixes suddenly slumps against the doorframe, his skinny form bending like a defeated reed. "It's Comrade Reading, he's... gone missing."

Ah, yes, Required Reading. Uli's new kitten. Uli's new kitten that Steban is all support for, because Uli having a gentle, non-violence-related hobby must be encouraged... as long as the cat doesn't come close enough to Steban to shed hair on him.

Steban likes houseplants. They're his preferred way of existing alongside nature as a communist should. They're pretty, quiet, predictable, and can be raised according to a manual. They don't yell at him in the middle of the night, or scratch him, or bite him, or break his things, or shit in a box he has to clean, or mess up his cleanly, tidy, pleasant little apartment. Besides, something about this particular cat is... strange. It meows and purrs and cuddles and plays and whatever else the things do, but there's something Steban can't put his finger on that is... weird. The less he sees of it, the better.

Still, if Uli wants a cat, a cat he shall have. If Uli wants to spend every moment of his free time with a cat and not his human best friend who can actually carry a conversation and doesn't smell like litterbox, well... so be it. Who is Steban to question his tastes?

"I opened the door briefly to get the mail and he darted out past me," Ulixes is saying. "I've been looking for him all day."

"Oh," Steban says, then makes an effort to imbue his voice with more sympathy, "I mean... oh."

Now, he expects, is when Uli is going to channel his concern for his pet into rage, the way he usually does, and vow some vague idea of vengeance onto the universe for making this happen to him. Now he'll say something over the top like swearing to murder whoever should dare harm or withhold his cat from him in several grisly and overly specific ways that will leave Steban a mixture of nauseated and fondly exasperated, because it's clear that while Ulixes dreams (in graphic detail) of violence, he has never actually experienced it up close, and these fantasies are just how he copes, and...

"This is all my fault," Ulixes whispers, and Steban is shocked to see his eyes beneath his glasses growing damp, "I'm so bad at this, and now I messed it all up."

He sits down on his desk chair and buries his head in his hands. "Why did I ever think I could take care of something? He could die out there, and it's my fault."

There's nothing for it. Steban's still not exactly fond of the cat, but... seeing Ulixes this quietly devastated turns the world inside out. Steban thinks, I need you like I need my limbs and blood and beating heart, and puts his hand on Uli's shoulder. "We'll look for him together."

----

They make missing posters and print them on campus, and Steban volunteers to help put them up around Uli's neighborhood. They spend the rest of the day looking for Required Reading, even when it gets dark, even when it starts to rain. Eventually, Steban makes Uli take a break. Ulixes resists it, but at some point, he does have to sleep. Steban stays with him as their rain-soaked clothes dry over the heater, and softly reassures him as he drifts into an uneasy sleep.

Two days go by. The rain doesn't let up. Ulixes keeps searching for Required Reading, and Steban supports him, though privately he's beginning to lose hope for the whole endeavor. Revachol is gigantic, and there are myriads of ways for a very small cat to vanish in it. And of course Steban is sad for Uli's sake, because Uli really loved - loves - that cat, and taking care of something small and vulnerable has revealed a new side of him, one that Steban finds intriguing. But... a part of him, a part he tries to ignore because he's not quite comfortable with having it in him to think so lowly, is... not too bothered by the prospect of things going back to how they were before Required Reading appeared. Back when he- when the reading group had Uli's undivided attention. When Uli was focused on him the cause. When Uli would look at him with adoring eyes and--

Stop, Steban tells himself. That's a scummy way to think, and wholly inappropriate when it comes to your comrade. Of course you want him to get his cat back.

He should interrogate that entire train of thought, practice self-critique and remind himself of the incompatibility of Mazovian thought with such... greedy possessiveness. But he's not ready to examine himself in this instance, so he pushes it all down and out of sight.

It's ironic then that, on the third day, Steban finds the cat first.

He's on his way to Uli's apartment. It's still raining and he doesn't have an umbrella, so he's steadily getting soaked through. All he really wants is to get out of the weather. Still, he pauses when he hears, from across the deserted square, a tiny cry, like a baby, or a...

...kitten.

They've pinned one of the missing-cat-posters to a lamppost on the sidewalk here three days ago. Now, under the lamppost, crouched under a soggy, discarded newspaper that offers only scant protection from the elements, there he is, meowing plaintively for help: Required Reading. His fur is plastered to his body with rainwater, but it is him.

(It would be so easy for a passerby to recognize that this is the cat on the poster. Almost as if he sat himself down here on purpose... but surely that's impossible. Cats can't read, or recognize themselves on pictures.)

(Weird.)

Steban shakes his head. It's probably just a coincidence. He'd better scoop the cat up before he runs away, hope he doesn't get his arms scratched up, and bring the little thing home to Uli. Cautiously, he steps closer.

Sigh. Here goes nothing...

Suddenly, he hesitates. A thought unfolds...

Maybe he could just... keep walking. Pretend he didn't see. Ulixes would never know. He'd be sad for a while, but eventually he'd recover, and then they'd spend time in their meetings again like they used to... no more cat hair on his clothes, no more mess, no more having to feign interest in an animal he honestly finds a bit off-putting... and Uli's attention would not waver again, and Steban would never have to ask himself what he even is without Ulixes.

He stands in silence while the rain beats down.

Required Reading has stopped crying. He's seen Steban and, doubtlessly, recognized him. He doesn't scamper up to him like Steban supposed he might. He simply looks at Steban with eyes that seem way too intelligent, and in this moment Steban is convinced that somehow the cat knows what he's thinking. Knows that Steban is considering abandoning him here.

Weird!

Or maybe that's just his conscience?

"This is nonsense," Steban mutters to himself. Of course he's going to bring the cat back to Uli. Because that's the right thing to do, and it'll take the anguish off of Uli's mind, and surely Uli will be so relieved and thankful. Steban can just picture it: his normally reserved friend smiling and hugging Required Reading close to him, and maybe then he'll set the cat down and hug Steban, too, and express his gratitude and regard for how Steban went above and beyond for him... maybe there'd even be a kiss on the cheek in it for him...

But no. Why would there be? Steban is used to kisses from his family members as casual displays of affection, that is just their way, but if Ulixes did that... if Ulixes kissed him on the cheek, it would be different, it would mean something.

Despite the rain, he blushes. What is this thought? What is he considering here? And anyway, he's not supposed to do things because he expects a reward. Again, what an inappropriate thought to have, about a comrade no less. He can't just stand here getting lost in... whatever this is. There's a task to do.

Slowly, carefully, telegraping his movements, he crouches down and reaches for Required Reading. By some miracle, the cat doesn't spook. He lets Steban scoop him up, his small, shivering body almost eclipsed completely by Steban's slender hands.

"Aww, pobrecito," Steban murmurs, dutifully, because that seems like the sort of thing one says. "You're trembling... come here, let's get you home."

"Mrreeep," Required Reading says, huddling closer to Steban's body heat.

Steban tucks him underneath his jacket and continues on his way. It's still pouring down upon him, and the cat sneezes into his armpit, but he barely notices, his head swimming with thoughts of what awaits him: the warm and dry apartment, maybe some hot coffee, the opportunity to bring Ulixes a wonderful surprise, the dread and self-recriminations leaving his comrade's face and being replaced with joy, the feel of his body pressed against Steban's in an exuberant embrace, the gentle rasp of his beard against Steban's own stubble when the--

Hm.

As Required Reading, bundled up under his jacket, starts to purr, Steban begins his struggle to contend with the fact that, apart from everything else he's got going on already, he now apparently dreams of his comrade's kiss.

#answer'd #three people in total requested this prompt. and i will do it thrice!!!#disco elysium #steban the student communist #ulixes #required reading (the cat)#i stayed up until 6am to write this please clap #writings by me

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campbyler · 3 months

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hi! i just read your post about struggling with the manual car (which is completely reasonable lol)

i happen to be a person who can indeed drive a manual! (my dad is still teaching me so i am no expert but i have driven our car many times and watched my dad drive it since i was wayyy younger)

and you can completely ignore this ask but here's what i have learnt in my time driving!

a manual has three pedals: clutch, break, accelerate, in that order from left to right (where i am from, atleast)

there are six gears, 1 through 5 and reverse.

clutch breaks the engine from the wheelers so you can shift gears and stop the car without damaging the system and the other two are obviously, to stop the car and accelerate the car

to start, you need to turn the key while PRESSING CLUTCH and NEUTRAL GEAR so the car doesn't run off lmao

then you shift the gear to 1 and VERY SLOWLY release the clutch. if you do it too fast, the engine will turn off and you gotta start over (i struggled with this a lot lol)

the car will start out at a very slow speed and you can try driving and stopping the car

to stop, start pressing the clutch and SLOWLY pressing on the breaks. make sure that by the time the car has stopped, the clutch is floored. you can also floor the clutch then slowly apply breaks

when you have the hang of it, you can try gearing up and down

to gear up, maintain a speed of (gear number + 1) times 10 kmh. so to gear up from first to second you need a speed of 20 kmh

to shift gear, floor the clutch and use the stick to change gear and IMMEDIATELY release clutch, no need to release slowly here like you had to while starting up. same to gear down

and voíla! you now know how to, in theory, drive a manual! tada!

also, for the fic, just keep in mind that the speed of the car when someone else is driving and when you are driving is COMPLETELY different

my dad could easily drive in 4th gear where he takes me to train and i would feel nothing, but for me, 2nd gear is still pretty fast when i'm driving!

these are the basics of driving but the driving STYLE can vary vastly.

hope this helps ily!!

anon this was genuinely so helpful i am kissing you on the mouth

#asks #it's good tht i was nodding along to mostly everything on here like yes so true i know this #the only thing i was off about is clutch release i thought it was best to ease off it every time you're changing gears #but i asked my parents this morning to confirm n they agreed w you that you only ease off when you're going into first #alsooo the +1x10 thing was so helpful fr a few guides online say you have wiggle room of like ~5mph with later gears but this was very usef #the only difference as well is tht mike's car is a 6-speed + reverse #but this was fr so so so so helpful hopefully it reads alright #i have the Concepts down just not the actual physical application </3

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sepublic · 11 months

Text

Acknowledging that I may be missing the point by trying to figure out the in-universe explanation and logistics, rather than focusing on the metaphor and symbolism behind Emesis Blue;

I think the Plague Doctor might be Fritz Ludwig from the future, possessed and/or under control of his alter ego (Hence the uncharacteristic act). There’s the obvious fact that Jeremy treats Fritz with hostility and fear, and Fritz’s own hallucination of killing Jeremy’s mom. He has the gouged-out eyes and smile, which Fritz receives at the end of the film after crashing.

At the end of the film, Fritz is brought back in the respawn machine, amidst a bunch of fire. In Archibald’s PSA to newly-respawned mercenaries, there’s an inexplicable fire that enters the room just offscreen, so I think there’s a deliberate connection. The only other possibility is that Fritz respawns as the Conagher Slaughterhouse burns down near the end of the movie (note that this would require someone to perform the manual input on the respawn machine, possibly the Plague Doctor). The abrupt fire at the end of the PSA feels too deliberate of a detail to otherwise ignore. Note that right after the video ends with fire, we cut to some photos taken presumably around that time, including of a burning Fritz…

Likewise, we have an example of time travel being an actual thing, and not just a Diazepam-induced hallucination (note Soldier claiming to have never taken any of the pills, only to later interact with his future self). This would explain how Fritz is in two places at once, which he needs to be, given we see him drive past Soldier in his ambulance, followed by the Plague Doctor’s hearse arriving just moments afterwards.

Now Fritz normally would have no reason to kill Jeremy’s mom, but that’s assuming it’s him in control; More than likely, it’s his alter-ego. Now I’ve watched TheWhat Show’s video on Emesis Blue, so I’m inspired by a lot of what he suggested here. But if we go with the idea that Fritz is being possessed by the spirit of the Tenth Class, this may explain a bit...

Dell’s Bar seems to be the limbo, the purgatory, the waiting room that the mercs and others who go through respawn wait in. And we know the respawn machine creates a fresh duplicate of one’s body, meaning respawned mercenaries can interact with their previous corpses; Hence the motherload of identical dead bodies all over the place.

There’s also the hallucination Fritz has, where he’s trapped in a casket inside the church, while the Plague Doctor watches; Foreshadowing both the church he kills Pyro in, and later his own funeral assassination. But it could also symbolize Fritz’s mind/soul being locked away in his body, or perhaps in a briefcase/limbo, while the Plague Doctor takes over...

If we go by the theory that the Plague Doctor is the vengeful ghost of the Tenth Class who has possessed Fritz, I think things begin to come together. After crashing at the end of Emesis Blue, Fritz’s soul is stuck in limbo, awaiting his next respawn. Due to time loop shenanigans, he is respawned in the past as Archibald records his PSA, possibly with only the Tenth Class’ soul inside; Fritz’s soul may have been left behind in limbo, which may be located within the briefcase. Either way, the Tenth Class in total control now.

The fire is an interesting detail; Did the respawn machine malfunction? And this malfunction caused both the flame and the retrieval of future Fritz, instead of his current self? Or maybe, and this is a bit out there but I just want to say it; Maybe the Tenth Class’ soul was plucked straight from Hell, and in doing so brought some hellfire with him that burned the Conagher Slaughterhouse, the first time. We see an apparition of the Tenth Class when Soldier is about to jump over the chasm leading to ‘Hell’, after all; Maybe the Tenth Class went there.

Something I find interesting is that the Plague Doctor seems to be working with BLU Heavy, Pyro, and Zed and Maynard Conagher. Somebody else was holding up Mama Scout’s head when Pyro kidnapped Jeremy, and it appears BLU Heavy was supposed to pass the briefcase to the Plague Doctor near the start of the film. The Plague Doctor’s hearse is a convenient vehicle to transport BLU Heavy’s body to the Conagher Slaughterhouse, to later be revived by RED Medic into a Mr. X reference.

We know Maynard was the one to lock up Jeremy, “according to specification” as he tells Zed. And the Plague Doctor’s hearse is seen right outside the Conagher Slaughterhouse, burning just as its driver did when he first arrived in the past... Obviously the Plague Doctor isn’t being totally honest with the Conagher brothers, since he presumably gave the key to Jeremy’s casket to Fritz; Zed is confused as to how Jeremy escaped.

If the Plague Doctor is a possessed/evil Fritz from the future, that could explain how he has the key; That, or there's a second copy of the same key that Zed and Maynard don’t know about. Maybe there’s only one key and they threw it out, only for the Plague Doctor to retrieve it behind their backs... OR, Fritz held onto the key after freeing Jeremy, bringing it with him all the way to the film’s end; So when he respawns in the past, he has the key with him. And he slides it under his past self’s door near the start of the film.

What puzzles me is what the Plague Doctor’s goal and motive is; Did the Emesis Diazepam lead to memory loss, meaning he doesn’t realize he’s reliving the same events, just from a different role? Is he trying to end the cycle? Set up Soldier to arrive at the Conagher Slaughterhouse, learn the truth, and kill Redmond and Blutarch, breaking free? How did he convince BLU Heavy, Pyro, the Conagher brothers, and presumably RED Sniper into working with him? Is Archibald aware of and working with these guys? Being led to believe they’re helping him lay low, when in reality he’s just bait for Fritz, BLU Soldier, and BLU Spy?

RED Sniper asks Soldier if he wants to die for something worth dying for, after deriding Archibald; Indicating he’s knowingly a part of some plan to end the Gravel Wars. But why try to kill Soldier at the start? Was that just Plan A, and Plan B was to inspire him to end it? Is BLU Heavy even collaborating with the others after being revived, or has his undead state turned him into an uncontrollable monster on nobody’s side?

#emesis blue #tf2 #team fortress 2 #fritz ludwig #speculation #theory #analysis

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freeuselandonorris · 1 month

Note

hi!!!! saw u played cyberpunk…. insanely jealous first of all i do not have a strong enough set up… but to the point do u have any cyberpunk au thoughts!!!!

hiii! omg for some reason (i am generally just Quite Bad with AUs) i had not thought of this but now i cannot unthink it

ngl wanting to play the 2.0 rebuild properly was the deciding factor in upgrading to a PS5 and frankly it was worth it lmao. changed my life!! obsessed!

ANYWAY. so i'm gonna keep this fairly vague because a) i am thinking of it on the fly and b) spoiler avoidance but the basic idea of cyberpunk is that personality constructs can be uploaded to 'shards' (like a fancy USB stick) and those shards can IN THEORY (although they're not meant to be) be uploaded into human brains.

so like. oscar's a cyborg racing driver in the night city formula x league. he's promising but he's at the start of his career and his cyberware kinda sucks because he can't afford decent sponsors, so he's stuck with a first-gen operating system and shitty optical reflex enhancers whereas that guy max verstappen who's winning everything is sponsored by arasaka so of COURSE he has a top-spec biochip and state of the art mods, he's practically one with his car at this point.

and then he gets given a shard by this weird fan who won't tell him what's on it. he knows it's dumb but he installs it anyway. only to find it contains a personality construct of this other driver, some sassy little prick called lando norris. who's now stuck in his head. and won't shut up. critiquing oscar's driving, sneering at the way he's still got to manually jack in to his car with cables like a heathen.

only. he's also got some really good tips. and he's actually really helping oscar out. and he's actually kinda funny and hot, or at least the projection of him oscar can see is. and oscar thinks maybe he could start winning, if he keeps taking lando's advice. except this shard in his head isn't meant to be there. and it's slowly taking over.

FUCK NOW I WANT TO WRITE 50K OF THIS GODDAMNIT

FUCK

#mctwinks #gaming tag #answered

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savriea · 3 days

Text

Get To Know Me Tag

Whew this was a long one! Thanks for the tag lovely, @darkurgetrash <3 This was fun! I love these games and learning more about my moots and sharing about myself when I wouldn't otherwise!

No pressure tags for: @little-paperboat @seabirdsong @forget-me-maybe Do you make your bed? Nope! Once I manage to peel myself out of that thing, what's left behind isn't my business. (plus I have 2 dogs who would promptly tear it back up, so,)

Favorite Number: I've always liked the number 11. Can't really say why, though!

What's your job? I am in sales, which works shockingly well given that I am pretty introverted IRL

If you could go back to school, would you? No. I was always smart but struggled in school because I had undiagnosed ADHD and was only seen as a problem child and as the weird girl. The lack of support and social issues left a bad taste in my mouth for school. Then, post-high school, I experienced terrible burnout in my first few years at college.

Can you parallel park/drive a manual car? Yes and yes. Cars and motorsports are actually a big passion of mine :)

Do you think aliens are real? Hell yeah! We'd be insane to think we're the only ones here. I kinda subscribe to the Dark Forest theory, though

What's your guilty pleasure? Napping. On the rare weekends that I have free time, there is nothing to stop me from a 6-hour mid-day nap. That and sweets.

Tattoos? I have 4, with plans for a few more. I have more piercings than tattoos at the moment. I just need to find a new artist, eventually... if I ever remember.

Favorite type of music: I have 2, depending on the mood. Metal/Rock or Electronic/House music. Which, these days a lot of metal leans on electronic heavily so it balances 🥰

Do you like puzzles? Yes and no. I really enjoy escape rooms as my ADHD can just go crazy with finding something, getting distracted and finding something else, then putting it all together. The time constraints are the vibe killer there, tbh

Any phobias? Fear of falling, definitely. I don't mind heights themselves if I'm in a secure position, but things like skydiving/ziplining/certain roller coasters do me in.

Favorite childhood sport: I was never into sports as a kid. I've gotten really into motorsports as an adult, though, and feel like if I grew up somewhere that kids motor sporting/karting was more prevalent *cough cough Europe cough cough* I would have been super into that.

Do you talk to yourself? Not really. There's enough going on in my mind 24/7 that the external stimulation might push me over the edge lol

What movie(s) do you adore? When people ask about my 'favorite movie', there are only ever 2 answers. Animated: Pixar's Cars. Live Action: Interstellar. No I will not take questions.

Coffee or tea: Depends. Cold: Coffee, all day. Hot: Tea, green, please.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? An astronaut 🥰

Last song I listened to: tear gas - Architects

Favorite color: Black!

Current obsession: BG3, lol.

Last thing I Googled: The phone # for my local tire shop 😂 Fancy.

Favorite Season: Winter. I love a good cold day.

Skill I'd like to learn: Painting. I actually went to art school for 2 years before suffering from extreme burn out. I was always decent with digital art, but I would love to be able to really, actually, literally paint

Best advice: I genuinely can't share any. Big head no thoughts. Sorry

Currently watching: Catching up on the Fallout show! I'm always very behind on new TV but currently about halfway through it.

Currently reading: A stupidly long list of BG3 fanfics as my "to read" books sit gathering dust on my bookshelf.

Relationship status: Married! Together since 2016 <3

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Gosh it really depends on the mood, but if I had to choose only one for the rest of my life, SWEET! I have a weakness for baked goods.

#tag game #get to know me #get to know me tag #me #Spotify

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idletype · 1 month

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get to know me tag! :0

was tagged by my beloved b @weizhiyuan <3 many moons ago and i just remembered this is in my drafts. but thanku!!

do you make your bed? i wait until i absolutely HAVE to be out of bed to get up so i don't usually have the time or see the point

what's your favourite number? 7 or 9 (my bday)

what is your job? i work at a tutoring academy :D

if you could go back to school, would you? i am currently in school and Suffering but i still plan to (hopefully) go to grad school in the near (hopefully) future!

can you parallel park? in theory yes in practice yes but with a lot of adjustment and anxiety mumbling

a job you had that would surprise people? i've only had 2 other jobs besides my current one so i don't think so

do you think aliens are real? yes and if they're reading this rn pls call me pls give me ONE chance

can you drive a manual car? no and everytime i see it in movies or videos i am very confused

what's your guilty pleasure? i was raised catholic so all of my pleasures are guilty 👍 but fr i wouldn't say i have any, cringe is dead, life is too short, we should all enjoy the things we enjoy without shame (as long as it isn't hurting anyone ofcourse), etc etc

tattoos? none but i've many ideas about ones i really want, both silly and serious

favorite color? green (and yellow and blue and brown but mostly green)

favorite type of music? soft indie sad girl music, 2000s emo/pop punk, musical theatre, noisy kpop ... mostly those 4 wildly different genres

do you like puzzles? yes but i don't do them often, i should really do more puzzles. love the nyt games tho

any phobias? bugs especially cockroaches, this is specific but not being able to wake up from a dream/not being able to tell if i'm dreaming - i'm a very floaty spacey person so i'm scared of suddenly losing my sense of what's real

favorite childhood sport? i do not sport and have never sported. swimming and gymnastics but i'm not very good at both. swimming is still p enjoyable now

do you talk to yourself? constantly

what movies do you adore? dead poets society is my all time fav, wolf children, greta gerwig's little women, stephen spielberg's west side story.... i recently watched bottoms and it was SO good

coffee or tea? both, i probably drink coffee more nowadays bc i'm a caffeine fiend but tea is very comforting to me

first thing you wanted to be growing up? a princess/singer/actress probably. i have childhood photos of me wrapped in a curtain putting on a concert in the living room

tagging @qt-qtoey @petrichoraline @distant-screaming @serene-skies @benzatthanin unless u have already done it hehe

#mint talks #tag game

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fandom-imagination-ss · 11 months

Text

Imagine: explaining to Derek your new recent family drama. Derek cannot believe it

"Eli if you dont hurry up right now! i'm leaving without you!"

Sitting at the island holding your cup of coffee listening to your husband threaten to abandon he's Son at home with you. you smiled screaming out "AND IF YOUR HERE YOU'LL BE HELPING ME CLEAN OUT THE BASEMENT!"

it was your day off and you planned to start doing a deep clean of every room in the house. you do it once a year. getting ride of things that hasn't been touched in a year, hasn't been used and help keep the house less cluttered. Derek was thankful to be stuck at work fixing a Car vs helping you. since he had super strength you made him carry all the heavier boxes.

Eli Dashed out of his room saying he was ready as Derek kissed you quickly goodbye before the boys left you to the madness that is Spring Cleaning.

One closet in the basment in, and you got a call from your grandparents about the Car they gave you in the summer.

your old Jeep finally had it. it was too experienced to Fix up, even with a great deal of having a Mechanic husband. that you decided to sell your Jeep for scraps. well, your Grandparents Heard from your Mom about you being without a Vehicle and they had a Car laying around on their farm so they gave it to you. you Figured your Husband could fix anything. so you agreed. and were thrilled to get a car that was Newer than your old Jeep it wasn't a Brand new car it was before 2015 but you were so thankful and appreciated the kind gesture.

you and Derek were told it was in "perfect" condition. which in your mind. meant it was in Perfect condition! but the moment you started the Car Derek heard a Funny sound and suggested he drive it. home and you take his truck. Derek didnt' want to cause trouble. your family had a hard time accepting him into the family. and after Five years together him and your family were finally in a good space and he didn't want to ruin it. So you took his truck.

Once Home he said you weren't driving that Car Not until he fixed it. the wheel was broken, the Seat broke, the Peddles were stiff, the aliment of the car was wrack, The Key Fob was broken.. but most importantly he was worried about your safety. you didn't think I was that bad since your grand parents said it was in "perfect" condition. Derek at that point seeing the doubt written all over your fact grabbed your shoulders giving you a reassurance squeeze.

"Babe I wouldn't even let Peter Drive this Car. it's a death trap- I'll fix it up. we can share the Truck for now"

the Shop was Busy. it was extremely busy so busy that Derke hasn't even had the time to bring the Car to the Shop to Fix. and having Only one vehicle working while you had work, he had work and having you drive Eli all around. it was exhausting. It was One day I desperately needed to go to the Store to buy milk. you were in the middle of making Cupcakes for a school function and needed milk, Derek too the car and you couldn't ask him to bring milk home cause he was working late. so you figured One little trip in your car wouldn't hurt.

well the Battery was Dead. you were warned before you got the keys that the back truck doesn't open with the "button' on the fob anymore and had to press a Level inside the Car to open the back trunk. NO problem! in theory.. the trunk didn't unhatch after you hit the level. After spending countless hours with Derek Figured. the Trunk level didn't pop it open because the Battery was Dead. so you would just jump star the Car, and get it opened No big deal!

WRONG-O! the battery for the Car is in the trunk... the back seat didn't fold down so you couldn't access the trunk that way. the Only way to access the Trunk was to press the level which didn't work because there was no battery left in the car to unhitch the Trunk. you tired putting the key in the back of the trunk door to see if you could manually unlock it that way but it was impossible!

After calling Malia to get you milk and to help with the Stupid Car. she got it enough power so you could open the trunk. then charge it. when Derek Finally had time to fix it. he realized Even more trouble. with the car. the Random. Kill switch bottom your grandpa got installed in the car, Which you had NO idea why anyone would want a kill switch in a car to Completely make the entire Car dead. Or how he used Duck tape to keep the pipe for the gas fumes up. with Duct tape and how he used Duct tape for the engine.. the Car ended up having Far more problems then your old Jeep. Derek could fix it. but ti would cost thousands. and even then. he had to order in a special piece that would fix having the kill switch option. And Derek figured it would Cost more to fix the car then what it was worth.

Derek being the supportive husband he is would have gone thru all that hassle to fix it up. and spend probably 3 months working on it every day after work. no complaints he knew how important your family was to you. and didn't want to rock the boat.

you However weren't willing to spend that much on the car. that you also learned was in a car accient that you weren't aware of. and that the inside of the Car Door.. was insulation Foam. in between the interier and the metal frame. to "pump out the dent" you were furious that your grandparents would dump this Car. a Car that was complete opposite of being in "perfect" condition onto you. clearly they just wanted it out of their yard and instead of paying the fee to get it removed. decided you could get it. since your husband is a mechanic. you didn't doubt Derek's abilities to fix the car. you knere he coudl fix anything. but the fact of the matter was.. you weren't willing to pay thousands for a old beat up car. that was in worst condition then your old car.

you went to your grandparents first before selling the car for scraps. offering them the chance to take the car back but they refused.

you happened to have found a retired man who had the exact same car years ago it was his wife's favorite car. and he wanted to fix it up as a surprise for her. you warned him all the issues but he said it was worth the time. so you sold it to him. and it was done.

Six months passed and now after cleanign the basement went out to work in the yard. it was Summer and you were sitting in the back yard having a drink after working in the yard all morning when your grandpa called.

"Hey do you have the number of the guy who you sold the car to?"

"maybe why?"

"Oh i left something inside the car and i wanted it back."

you knew personally there wasn't anything left in that car. you and Eli spent one Saturday cleaning it for the new owner and found a roll of electrical tape. when you said you cleaned out the car and found nothing. and he pushed back you should of realized that something was up... you found the guy's number and gave it to your grandpa. saying that whatever it was. even if it was in there and by chance you missed it. there wasn't a chance in Hell that the man still had it. but your grandpa was firm. and you didn't want to argue.

Less then an hour later a Police car drives up and parks in your laneway as you look up noticing it was Mr. Stilinksi . your best friends dad. you walked over whipping your hands from dirt on your pants as you smiled, "Hey mr Stilinksi... What did Eli do now?"

any time you see him it's for Eli. but he sighed heavily rubbing his face, "I'ts not- im here because of you.. did you sell a Kia 2016 Silver car to Albert Plant?"

you walked to the fench that sperated you as you spoke, "yea like months ago? why?"

"Y/n? where did you get that car from?"

"my grandparents. gave it to me in the summer- and I sold it Albert in October why?"

he sighed heavily as he spoke, 'Sorry Y/N. but i have to bring you in."

"What why?"

he softly turned you around as you heard the handcuffs Eli came home just at that time as he screamed what the fuck as you told him to get Derek to go to the police station." he quickly called his dad as you bickered with Mr. Stilinski as you were taken to the police car and drove away. being charged with grand thieft auto.

When Derek answered the call to Eli he didn't expect he's law-abiding Wife who doesn't even Jaywalk. to be arrested for grand theft auto. he said what loudly and banged his head on the truck he was right now rolled under. he cursed out.

"Dad what if she's charged and in is locked up for years? we can't survive without her.. your cooking sucks. and she's Y/n!"

Derek rolled out of under the truck he rubbed his forehead. Malia over heard the call as she asked what the fuck is happening. Derek spoke up.

"Eli- it's just a misunderstanding. you know your Mom- she Doesn't even tag the tags off the blankets cause it's a federal crime. this is just- Clearly the sheriff got the wrong person. i'll go and get her out and if not.. we will just break her out tonight and we run."

"you would do that?" Eli asked Derek could hear the strained voiced from his son that he has been crying.

"yea- cause lets face it i dont think either of us could survive without her anymore.'

Eli chuckled as Derek said he would go over and get Y/N and would be home soon. Once off the phone, Derek cursed out as he got up as Melia spoke up, "Keep me updated I'll finish up here." Derek thanked his cousin and ran off. getting to the police station to see you sitting at a table. across from an officer as Derek spoke, "She's not talking without a lawyer!"

looking up to See your husband. the moment he saw your eyes. he knew. you were furious. you were tensed up as the officer spoke, 'We aren't charging her- Sorry about this. Y/N."

you shook your head, "Not your fault.. it's my Dumb ass grandparents.. Can we GO!" there was no softness in your voice. Derek has only seen you this angry once. and that was when Scott decided to leave beacon hill abandoning a new werewolf. who was created by a wolf who was passing by. abandoning her. and he just left because he's last member of he's "pack" left. and he didn't want to stay in beacon hill anymore. So he left. you were furious you screamed him out on the phone, and then ended up going to the city and screamed at him in person calling him the worst 'True Alpha in history."

being a human you had no idea if that was true. but you were furious and you even ended up pouching a wall in frustration and you broke your hand. Derek ended up taking your pain away as he also took the kid in under his wind. and he broke away from Scott's pack.

The officer apologized again and you said it wasn't their fault again. and you stood up and grabbed Derek's hand and dragged him out.

getting into the truck you turned to see Derek as you spoke, "im going to need you to physically make sure I dont take the truck and Murder my damn grandpa."

"what the fuck is going on?"

you shook your head saying at home. you would explain. when you had a big BIG cup of kool-aid.. you wished it was some sort of liquor. with how furious you were. you could easily down a bottle of Vodka- well a tiny bottle. you dont' drink much . in your hand. getting home. Derek parked as you walked inside. to be bulldozed into a tight hug from Eli. as you hugged him tightly. kissing his head. once settled in the dining room. you took a big gulp of your drink as you spoke, "that car- that they gave us.. that piece of junk car?- remember i said yesterday they called looking for the new owners number cause they forgot something in the car?"

"Yea?" Derek stated as Eli spoke, 'what could be left in that car? we cleaned it for hours."

you nodded your head, 'I said the same thing.- well I gave them the number. cause maybe MAYBE I was wrong. and I didn't think anything weird about it- well they called Albert. and wanted him to Sell the car back to them dirt cheap like a few hundred dollars-Albert didn't and said it was he's and he spent thousands fixing it up.. then my grandpa told Him that he was sold the car illegally and he wanted his car back without hassle since I STOLE IT! from them and my inadpt husband who is- in my grandpa's words. "A incapable mechanic broke the car that badly when you were trying to fix just the steering wheel!"

"jesus," Eli called out as Derek held his palm under the table holding a fist.

you shook your head, 'So Naturally- Albert. who didn't want to give up the car- decided to call the police on Me. and said I sold him a Hot car. he wanted to deal with the police vs my grandfather.. While i was in the cells. Cause they Put me in a prison cell! My grandma. was on the phone with them. on her way to "handle the situation" told them. that I didn't steal anything it was a gift- and that her Dumb ass husband wanted the car back so they could take it on their camping trip they are going. and thought telling the man it was a stolen car would make him give it back.. at first they wanted to hear this from my grandpa- because he's the one in the report. but he refused to talk to the police because he was embarrassed! the ONLY reason I got out was because the car's last owner was my grandma. and she confirmed she gave it to me. and the car wasn't in good condition so she allowed me to sell it to Albert! It's Friday! if they didn't confess to their Bullshit! I would of been locked up till Monday when a judge could of saw me!"

there isn't many times that Derek or Eli are speechless. but listening to this. hearing it all laid out.. He was speechless.. you were finished your drink as you rubbed your face as you spoke, "She listened to him Lie about me being a mastermind thief- heard Albert say that he was calling the police. and then watched my grandpa just curse off being pissy about the car... Not Once did he think "oh what about Y/N!"

you finished your Kool-aid as you Really wished it was Rum. or sometihng that would calm your nevers.. Not Cherry Kool-aid.

"you should calm down- the baby.."

Eli commented as you sighed heavily rubbing your face. "yea- yea.. I " you were about to say you would go to the hot tub to relax. but you can't do that.. you had a list of things you can't do.. and you hated that.. you reached over grabbing Eli's hand. "pick something to order in.. I want a Milkshake." he nodded his head going up to the draw that had all the take out menus as Derek looked at you as you spoke, "we aren't naming the baby after either of them! they wont hear from me that Im pregnant. my dad can tell them- and we aren't Ever stepping foot on that property again! they are Dead to us!"

Derek didn't agree, he knew you would cool down in a few hours., the lastest Monday. it was after dinner. Eli went out with friends as you were flicking thru the channels on the tv. your Phone was blowing up. Derek took the calls. first from your mother, telling her you weren't in a good mindset to talk right now and just wanted to be left alone.

your grandfather called trying to spin the narrative in which Derek said that the police report filed on you Said it all. and that you weren't going to talk to him. he was less polite with him vs your mom.

then it was your grandma- in which. Derek was polite to say go fuck off. he talked to almost every family member on your side. before he gave up and turned off the phone.

you pulled him onto the sofa so you could snuggle him as you wrapped your arms around him as you spoke, "So instead of that big party we planned to have my entire family and yours over at the house to announce the pregnancy- I think we just have my parents and your family. and our friends. A Small gathering... and make it a No cell phone weekend. so my family doesn't Ruin it for us."

Derek nodded his head saying anything you wanted. you smiled brightly thanking him as you held him tightly. at least you could count on Derek to Not wrongfully accuse you of grand theft auto.

#derek hale #derek hale imagine #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #fandom #fandom imagine #imagine #TW #Tw imagine

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renaultphile · 25 days

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‘Get to know me’ tag game. Thank you for the tag @rottenlaertes and @nurseadriansbrother!

Do you make your bed? Always air it first though! Plus it’s a duvet so not exactly arduous……

Favourite number? Has to be seven

Current job? Public sector, can’t say more than that!

If you could go back to school would you? Totally – it’s wasted on the young!

Can you parallel park? I can’t even drive! But I am a very good backseat driver (apparently!)

A job you had that would surprise people? I once got free entry to a ball playing keyboards in a student band. Yes it was downhill after that……

Do you think aliens are real? 100% My favourite theory that I’ve seen is that they are so big we can’t see them!

Can you drive a manual car? No and not even an automatic either! I'm waiting for the driverless car technology

What’s your guilty pleasure? Anything sweet (literally and figuratively).

Tattoos? No, too scared of pain, and too indecisive.

Favourite colour? Anything turquoise-y or aquamarine-y

Favourite type of music? Anything eclectic (I know that's cheating, sorry!)

Do you like puzzles? Love puzzles but they can’t be too difficult.

Any phobias? So many to choose from but heights is a big one, following by enclosed spaces.

Favourite childhood sport? Swing-ball (you know with the tennis ball on a string that goes round….never mind)

Do you talk to yourself? Constantly in my head.

What movie(s) do you adore? Lawrence of Arabia, The English Patient, Dune. I do also like movies without sand dunes.

Coffee or tea? Mostly coffee, pot of tea if I’m out though.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? There was this counsellor who used to do a phone-in and solve people’s problems in five minutes flat and for a long time that’s what I wanted to be!

Sorry I was late to the party so I think everyone's been tagged!!

#Get to know me tag game

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clandestinegardenias · 28 days

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thanks for the tag, @l-tyrell !

do you make your bed? Mostly! My dog likes to lay on it during the day, and to keep her fur off the sheets it's nice to have it...closed haha

what's your favorite number? vague preference for 711. I was 7lbs 11 oz when I was born, and the last 3 digits of my first phone number were 711, plus like, Slurpees! I was always number 7 or number 11 on sports teams.

what is your job? I'm a sociologist and a professor at a university (assistant professor, but on a tenure track. it is still WILD to me that i landed this)

if you could go back to school would you? if I had time and it was free? TOTALLY. Love school, love learning, I could have majored in a billion different things cause everything was interesting. Maybe physics? I'd love to know more physics.

can you parallel park? sort of? like, I can. and I will force myself to, just because I feel like I should be able to, but it might take me a few corrections

a job you had that would surprise people? tour guide for an historic Dutch windmill, haha. sometimes I got to help the miller sift the flour

do you think aliens are real? yes, but not necessarily in a way we can readily perceive them/a form people generally anticipate. We get too anthropocentric with it

can you drive a manual car? nope! I know the theory, but have never been taught/actively tried

what's your guilty pleasure? probably like...food that is really unsustainably produced but DELICIOUS like idk those giant strawberries grown in California that I can get in the Midwest in February. oh, or almond milk.

tattoos? no, nothing against it, just too noncommittal

favorite color? the color of the Caribbean sea

favorite type of music? i mean my top artists in the past year were Megan Thee Stallion and The Kingston Trio? I like oldies and anything that has a fucking BEAT

do you like puzzles? yes! very unseriously and recreationally, but yes (I am bad at it but I have fun)

any phobias? eternity, can NOT think about it too long or I WILL panic

favorite childhood sport? softball! i liked running the bases and standing in the outfield

do you talk to yourself? internally, ALL THE TIME. out loud when something particularly silly/surprising happens, like I'll just be standing in my yard and go "well that was weird"

what movie(s) do you adore? Some Like it Hot and Lawrence of Arabia are a consistent top 2. oh, and The Blues Brothers!

coffee or tea? tea! i love a yummy coffee latte but the caffeine is almost always too strong for me :( and also TEA IS SO GOOD I'm not mad

first thing you wanted to be growing up? astronaut!! i would still go to space if someone gave me the chance

tags @sunlaire @stormyoceans @apocalypticdemon if you'd like to!

#ask game

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sflow-er · 30 days

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Get to know me tag game

Thank you for the tag @putnamcapital! I had a really intense day today and this was a nice distraction.

Do you make your bed?

Yes. The bedroom looks and feels cluttered with the pillows and bedspread piled up on the chair, and I don't like that at all. Also, I feel like the sheets get icky sooner if I leave the bed unmade. I don't know if there's any truth to it, but the feeling is compelling enough.

What's your favourite number?

I prefer even numbers for some reason, and my faves are 8 and 12.

What is your job?

I'm a self-employed translator of factual texts. Articles, websites, brochures, instructions for use, etc.

If you could go back to school, would you?

Maybe. I was always interested in medicine but didn't take all the science courses in high school that I would've needed to study it in uni, so if I had infinite resources... Yeah, I could see myself going back to do those damn courses and then applying to study medicine.

It's an incredibly unrealistic scenario, though. I have neither the means to study full-time nor the energy to do it alongside work and other adult responsibilities. I also don't know if I could muster the motivation for another uni degree even if it was in a field I liked.

Can you parallel park?

In theory, yes. But the town where I learned to drive had a very small population and ample parking space, so I never needed to do it for real, and I haven't even had a car at my disposal since moving to the city (seventeen years ago this autumn).

A job you had that would surprise people?

Hmm, well, I was an extra on a TV show once! The gig was only a few days, but it was interesting to see the process and compare it to the final product.

Do you think aliens are real?

In the sense of there being other life in the universe, yes. Absolutely. In the sense of them abducting people, no. Definitely not.

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes, that's the norm in my country.

What's your guilty pleasure?

Fanfic. I also have a few embarrassing comfort movies (that I'm not going to name) and about 30 seasons of Survivor under my belt, so...no shortage of guilty pleasures here.

Tattoos?

Alas, no. I always wanted one but could never come up with a design/subject I was 100% sure of.

Favourite colour?

Red, green and dark grey. My least favourite colours are orange, yellow and purple (yeah, that makes me a terrible YR fan, I know).

Favourite type of music?

I'm one of those people who got stuck on the music of their formative years, which for me was alt rock from the 2000s (and a little bit from the 2010s). So, that. I do also listen to some later artists but the bar is much higher for them to become my favourites.

Do you like puzzles?

I love puzzles. Not necessarily jigsaw puzzles as I don't have anywhere to put those (or crossword puzzles as I'm surprisingly bad at those), but I do love games with puzzles in general (video games, escape rooms, board games that require some deduction...).

Any phobias?

Serious case of arachnophobia. I'm also afraid of bugs, clowns and (sadly) dogs, but I wouldn't say any of those fears are severe enough to count as phobias.

Favourite childhood sport?

Lol no. I hated sports as a child.

Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, on occasion.

What movies do you adore?

There are too many to list specific titles! I enjoy speculative fiction (scifi, fantasy, horror if it's not too gory), animated films, historical fiction, adventure, good comedy and some drama. I don't watch many realistic adult dramas or biopics unless I'm particularly interested in the filmmaker or subject matter. My least favourite genres are generic action, war, and anything focused on cars or sports.

Coffee or tea?

I love both but mostly drink coffee.

What was the first thing you wanted to be growing up?

Writer, I believe. Someone in my extended family claims I once said 'president' when they asked all of us cousins what we wanted to be, but I have no recollection of that.

No pressure tags: @scatteredpiecesofme @plantbasedfish @silvagrey @bluedalahorse @willedeservesbetter @palehottubchild and anyone else who wants to participate! I feel like I've seen a lot of answers already and I know I've also missed a bunch, so, sorry if that was you. And if any of you don't feel like playing, no worries whatsoever! 💜

#thanks again for the tag! 💜#not yr #tag game

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