#it just feels right in my gut | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dirtytransmasc · 9 months

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Alicent and Aegon are so Virgin Mary and Jesus coded, in a sick and twisted way that it barely makes sense, but at the same time just... does.

a mother and her child born damned from the start, yet she loved him to her core, accepting her fate, accepting she would lose him and then herself.

she carried him, birthed him, raised him, loved him, devoted her very being to him... she lost him, grieved him, lost her mind in his absence. the gods her only respite, yet, when she needed them most, when she needed them to protect her son, her baby, her reason for being, where were they?

#the catholic guilt and angst is getting to me #the mommy issues I used to project on The Mother Mary are now being projected onto Alicent #Aegon and Jesus are literally the same person but also not and they parallel one another perfectly but its also an insult to say they do #two side of the same coin???#two sons damned by their fathers two mothers damned by their sons both only having each other #maybe #I don't know anymore #it just feels right in my gut #and I'm so tired and just feeling... things... and this post was born #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #alicent hightower #pro alicent hightower #pro team green #hotd #house of the dragon #tw religion #tw religious themes #tw religious imagery

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months

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Embrace the truth

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #lan xichen #lan wangji #wei wuxian #WWX uses NMJ's abs as part of his evidence for identification. LXC is allowed to use his familiar embrace as his evidence.#We are now entering the slow burn arc of 'Lan Xichen continues to lose everything he cared about'.#He has his love of fishing + his good friendship with JGY + his brother. I hope nothing happens to any of those things #Not that its in character for *anyone* present to have the emotional intelligence for it - but man LXC is having a very hard time #Trying to pin his sworn brother as a murderer *right* after identifying the mystery body as his other sworn brother?#of *course* he's defensive! You gave him no time to process!#He's gonna need a lot of time by the pond to cope #The original joke had LXC copping a feel on those glutes and recognizing him that way. Which now looking back *was* funnier #sigh...I need to trust my gut a bit more #Next time on PD-MDZS: They just show up in Jinlin Tai because I want to plot to keep moving

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slurpeesoverromance · 6 months

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[me with 1 hp] mari save me… mari.. save me mari..

#man I like this character hope nothing bad happens..#<- me only being in the prologue but I’m trying to ignore this god awful gut wrenching feeling of impending doom #love her but what the fuck was she thinking with the fucking turkey(?chicken??) she found in the garbage 😭#omori #mari omori #I just know everybody laughing at the first tag too😭#ok fine guys I got a bit further into the game and my intuition was right

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ohitslen · 1 year

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College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)

#projecting my major on Vash because them mfs who have changed from the med field majors to that one have some tragic things to tell #and also because I think that Vash would be such a wonderful designer I don’t know why it’s a gut feeling #Nai the law major because of course he would have you seen the guy #he would be a personal injury lawyer because lore #fun fact Nai rested for a semester after the incident with Vash while Vash took two.He never told Nai he would be changing majors #so it was a big big shock for him. they fought again but yk I’ll explain more on that if anyone is interested #as to Kni and WW I thought it’d be funny if they shared a common subject that required a lot of team assignments #and they can NEVER work out together. being an absolute nightmare to the rest of their group #separately they are great to work with. even if Kni can come off as too bossy sometimes he is actually a great leader #and WW would always deliver things on time exactly as it was asked from him #but Kni and WW just never really matched. Kni was too rude at times when WW made a mistake and WW would always clock him if he passed a line #like insulting his reasons for wanting to study security #one day Kni tells him at the beginning of a new semester where they both have unfortunately landed on a shared subject again #“you are not suited for that sort of job Wolfwood. you should simply give up and why don’t you go play role model to your little kids’’#then WW beats him again and then is like hey yk what you’re kinda right. and changed majors and he feels so much more at home studying #education/teaching than security. he fucking hates some things but the end goal makes it worthy #Trigun Uni! AU #because I don’t know how differently a college and a uni work #trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun stampede #vashwood #trigun fanart #wolfwood #vash #Nai saverem #millions knives #lenssi draws #pen!

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the-eclectic-wonderer · 23 days

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Yes, of course I have a thing for the rich lady that sets up elaborate games to hunt and eat people for sport. She’s British she’s posh she’s old she’s commanding and she’s morally revolting. How the hell am I supposed not to have a thing for her

#her name is LADY MOWBRAY for fuck’s sake. she ticks all my boxes!!!!!#like literally she’s got an enormous rifle and calls people ‘dearie’ what the hell am I supposed to do #i heard her voice and I was gone #jon sims really is the gift that keeps on giving. first gertrude and now this lady. I’m having the time of my life #thank god mr bonzo isn’t the OIAR’s only hitman lmao #im a bit late but this was a damn good episode! poor alice got extremely traumatised!#this was not a good one for her between the catastrophic flirting failure at the beginning and… that… at the end #and we got to meet luke! something terrible is gonna happen to him isn’t it #obsessed with the fact that gwen has apparently fully embraced her role. she’s got her customer service voice ready and everything #she offered the HUMAN HUNT LADY some REFRESHMENTS like girlie what are you doing #and what are the Cheshire Bouchards?????? you can’t just name-drop that and not elaborate???#overall I feel like the one that comes out of this episode on top is celia. she’s got some serious guts!#standing up to the human hunt lady right after listening to a statement about said human hunt lady? holy shit celia #VERY very good episode overall. i had a blast and lady Mowbray was genuinely scary (I love her already agh)#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #tmagp 15 #lady mowbray

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wolfywolfy · 3 months

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Obsessed with the fact that dnd Elves have canonical Soulmate bonds and almost nobody knows it or utilizes it in Astarion and/or Halsin fics

"red string au" "fated mates au" guess what besties. ur favorite trope is built in!!!!!

The best part is it's dnd so it literally doesn't even matter if ur tav is an Elf or not. U can make Thiramin whatever u want it to be. It can even be a temporary soul bond (bc that is A Thing!!!) to add to angst if u wanted. So much potential!!

#also yes i will absolutely be incorporating this into my fanfic(s)#if i ever post them lmao #bg3 #astarion #halsin #wolfy speaks #imagine astarion feeling thiramin slide in place while hes still under cazadors control #gut wrenching #cant do anything about it without them dying or him receiving another year or more of individual torture #so he just. has to wait until the right momentt #(they both get abducted by mindflayers ❤️ how romantic)

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factual-fantasy · 11 months

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I got 26 asks for ya’ll, sorry they’re a bit late!

..Bruh. Where have you been for the last 4 months?? Scroll down on my blog for like 3 seconds. You’ll find dozens of posts talking about my FNAF AU. How I’ve spent weeks rewriting the timeline, how certain comics aren’t canon anymore, how I’m working on my Recap/Repair project WHICH MIND YOU, part 1 is the most recent post I’ve made.

Also I will give Gregory any story that I want, thank you very much.

Hey, buddy. Listen, you’re up here at a 10 right now, I’m gonna need you to come down to at least a 4, okay?

Also I hate to burst your bubble, but If you want a faithful interpretation/version of Vanessa? You don’t want my blog.

Ah, sorry. I don’t do commissions no.. Thank you though!

AU comes first, movies later lol

Awe, thank you! I did my best! :} Also I don’t have a jester Anon, feel free to take the title!

Uhg. That’s really frustrating. But I actually heard word that he finally took them down. I never checked to confirm but its a nice thought. Also thanks for letting me know!

@elegysonnet

Thank you so much! Also I don’t think I’ve actually seen any Don Bluth movies.. or if I have I didn’t know they were made by him-

@sunnysshanty

Thank you so much! Also nooo, sorry. Those game’s events don’t happen. I built my AU mostly on games that I myself have played/ones I know a lot about. <:/

@readeren

I haven’t actually thought about it too much. Just figured eventually they’d meet and hit it off-

@jyalynn

<XD I’ll do my best! Thank you for the reminder,

@quillsinkwell

Awww, you’re too kind. Thank you so much!

@mishishiwritings

Holy cow, that far back?? Man, well, I apologize for the completely unhinged content you were subjected to- <XDDD

But also thank you so much! Hearing that I have such an old fan is really cool! And your patience and support for my project means the world!

@aberrant-winter

Thank you! I’m so glad you like them! :DD

aaaa thank you so much!!! Same to you! :DD

@mynameisdoofthelizardandamlesbi

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAYHEMMMM

@chickenmilk120

Does being glued to the couch for 8 hours because of being in a constant state if dizziness count as a break? :D If so, back to work I go weee!!

@cherrycreamfairy

AAAAA that’s so cool! Having no dead kids in the story is really refreshing! (something I never thought I’d type-) Also I love their designs! Especially Foxy’s, seeing him so tall is different to me, but cool! XD

XD You can always count on me to jump fandoms at the perfect time! Also oh man, that’s a tough one. I’m really torn between Engineer and Soldier.

On one hand you have Engineer. He has so many things I love in a character. He’s a tough Texan that has a healthy dosage of southern hospitality. He has total dad vibes. I love the way he interacts with the other characters as well. Like in Expiration date, taking off his helmet to show some respect to his team as he gave them the grim news. Also being mostly gentle about how he worded the news as well. He spent what he thought was his last 3 days on Earth, helping Medic to try and find a cure, overall just working in his last hours to try and help his team. Even when it should have been pretty hopeless.. Also the way he bursts into the room, “Guys! Hey, Fellas! Listen! Its just bread that gets tumors! :DD” Tossing his arms over Soldier and Medics shoulders and smiling with them, UHG he’s so cool.

I also love all the headcannons people have made about his character. A lot of people, me included, like to think that engineer cooks breakfast for the team sometimes. Eggs, Bacon, pancakes, you name it. I also love the thought that after a rough battle, where they lost and the whole team is cranky and aching. Engie goes out and fires up the grill and makes everyone some good food as a pick me up. Burgers and hotdogs, shish kabobs and sandwiches, just MAN. Such a fun idea and such an awesome character.

His design is also really fun to me. Overalls and googles, with a hard hat that’s slightly crooked. And of course his wicked gunslinger that’s kept under wraps. Not sure why he covers it up, its awesome! ALSO His dialogue in the game is a real hoot, I also like his GAME PLAY. Although I’m a pretty lousy Engineer myself, I love the idea of being able to support my team the way he does. People can fall back and be fully protected by the Engineer. A sentry to keep you safe, a dispenser to replenish your ammo and health. And a kind hearted man to pat you on the shoulder and say, “You alright son? Here, take a seat for a while. You can get back out there when yer ready. I’ll keep an eye on you till then.” like OUHG, so much fun. I absolutely adore everything about his character.

On the other hand, there’s Soldier. He is so unbelievingly stupid, so mind blowingly absurd, and so incredibly big hearted and ridiculous. His antics and overall hilarity have brought me to tears multiple times and never fail to make me smile.

I don’t think I have a super gushy, character analysis-y reason why I like him so much. He’s just really funny, his character is so fun and ridiculous and he always makes me laugh. So that’s why its so hard to pick between Engie and him-

Sorry, I dumped that comic long ago.. but who knows? Maybe someday I’ll feel inspired and come back to it. My hyper fixations have been known to be quite unpredictable-

I straightened up and got 3 water bottles, I hope you’re proud of me! :}

Thank you so much!! :DDDD

@jellycreamjammedart

BIBI IS THAT YOU?? WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES-

Oooo, that’s so interesting!

Meanwhile there’s me who has completely deleted her from my brain and refuses to acknowledge her existence- XDDD

All I’m hoping for is that they make it scary.

I want little kids to come into this movie chanting “FNAF! FNAF! FNAF! :DD” And run out screaming and crying moments later.

FNAF at its core, is a disturbing story. With gruesome themes and horrible tragedies and disgusting people. It is not meant for kids. I feel like FNAF recently has been really dumbed down and kid-ified. Which makes me kind’a sad..

I tried not to let that rub off on my AU. It may be light hearted for now, but the truth about the past and the disturbing story of William will not be buried for long..

Thank you for the reminder, I’ll do my best!

Awe, thank you! Once my Recap/Repair is done I gotta get around to drawing some of them!

#my response #fnaf security breach #team fortress 2 #I feel a bit bad for being rude to the first 2 anons #but I metaphorically got punched in the gut so much today and man my patience just wasn't there #My patience is also thinning for questions like #when are you gonna finish this? How come you've abandoned it? What's taking so loooong?#like bro I work super had every day by myself in my OWN PERSONAL FREE TIME #to make you FREE CONTENT #you have no right to rush me

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lilacjunimo · 27 days

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sus ojitos :(

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 5 months

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This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.

Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.

The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."

She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.

With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.

Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.

She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!

Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?

She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.

Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.

Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.

Or her lover will.

I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.

#dragon age origins #dao #alistair theirin #dao alistair #dao morrigan #dao tabris #warden tabris #i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious #the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike #i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too #playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development #and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual #and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again #i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc #oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop #even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren*#but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws #and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance #while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris #in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe #and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough #to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D:#and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible*#i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time #excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay #also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden #so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case #i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read

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donnyclaws · 5 months

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Not posting abt tiger crawl home as much bc I'm having fun with my little scratchings and updates but it's so going somewhere rn

#text snippet is from endalla specifically <3 i really like writing them #like it's nice i think i've taken the pressure off to kinda make my stories n stuff presentable and understandable or even Out #it's probably the first time i've written stuff for this where coming back to it a month later and it still feels like the best way to #present it. it's way more indulgent and based on what feels Right gut wise and word wise which rules. my story for meeee ect ect #anyways daemon elves angels magic and Probably chimera other forms r getting axed spring cleaninggg #suicide mention #4 damian's snippet bc that's what's going on there #anyway you'll just have 2 trust that it'll be out eventually (and hatchfiend) but i'm not in any kind of rush #tiger crawl home #art tag #victor #glorio #endalla #damian #also just went back 2 a regular messy sketchbook and notebook thank god

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forestgreenlesbian · 2 months

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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

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vampirically · 2 years

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i literally come here just to brag(i) about never being wrong about xigluxu ever

#its getting kinda scary #my gut feeling is always right #and look its not even abt the name thing although bragi the actual god has a connection to a wooden box in the myths #which has always been sus to me #but its mostly the shit eating grin yknow #i just Knew somehow #its like when sora recognized riku even though he was in ansem's body #its true love #kingdom hearts #khdr #khdr spoilers #dark road #dark road spoilers #bragi #xigbar #luxu #rambling? as if!

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jmdbjk · 1 year

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The bond.

I really try hard not to go overboard delulu here on the ol' blog.

But sometimes there are things you just know in your gut, know what I mean?

When Jimin was breaking down during the ending ments of the MOTS7 concert, JK was watching him closely. He was fretting. He wanted to walk over there and comfort Jimin. But the cameras were rolling, He wanted to allow his Jiminie a chance to pull himself together and finish saying what he wanted to say. Also, he was respecting the situation and the other members. And there were probably dozens of staff surrounding them trying to do their jobs. Kookie stayed put as long as he could resist. In that moment he knew Jimin was capable of handling himself but it was JK who was struggling to control his own impulse as he watched Jimin break down in front of god and everybody.

And when he felt he could not hold himself back any longer, he left his spot in the line and stepped over there to check on his Jiminie. Helped with some soothing touches and words. Just like Jimin has done for him in the past. And Jimin... seeing his Kookie right there had to be the split second he snapped out of it and gathered himself together. The instant relief is palpable. He was in the process of self-soothing with his own little tummy rub but then Kook was there by his side and he was able to get it under control again.

My gut feeling is this: During the time leading up to that moment, the shitty year before and with everything that Jimin shared about his struggles which turned into songs for his Face album... he was leaning heavy on JK to get through it all.

JK is the type to roll with the punches and go with the flow, more capable of adapting to the pandemic shut down because his re-charge situation as an introvert is free-form alone time. Downtime wouldn't be something he would struggle with as much.

However, Jimin's core being is structure, a schedule, preferably doing an activity. Yes, he has said when he is home, he is down on the couch. But his personality thrives on constant activity. Jimin is a strong person, but as we now know, the whole situation was A LOT for him to take on and deal with in his "I live and breath to perform for Army" workaholic lifestyle.

My gut feeling is there were many similar moments between the two of them when Jimin unleashed his frustrations and emotions and Kookie was there to hold him up.

I imagine it wasn't easy for Jungkook either. Everyone struggled. But his outward demeanor was less frenetic and therefore had a calming affect on Jimin.

Besides Jimin's reliance on us, Army, to support him... Jungkook is also one of the reasons we have the song Letter.

I know many have already speculated why Letter is also for JK. The fact he sings background vocals and it is a "hidden" track. Jimin showed us that the original lyrics were a little more specific.

And being reminded and seeing this moment during the MOTS7 concert after everything else that's transpired is another reference as to why it would be.

#just a gut feeling #but usually they are right #the neck rub and the tummy rub #i cry my eyes out every single time #jimin letter #jikook #😭#can't talk enough about their bond

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chronicowboy · 1 year

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in another life (for better or worse) | 3.2k

"Sorry, I know I'm late."

And Daniel stands in the doorway looking, well—

A lot like Buck, but a little fuzzy around the edges.

No birthmark, no tattoos, curls all slicked back, a little shorter and a lot skinnier.

"You're too late, Danny boy," Doug calls out, his slimy grin audible in his words, "I'm favourite uncle to Evan Jr now."

"Keep talking more shit, Doug, see where it gets you." Daniel waves off their mother's scolding clucks and dives for Buck's phone instead. His eyes soften and he looks up at his little brother. Buck's breath leaves him in a rush. "He's beautiful, Ev. I mean, a little pale and blurry but, you know, the camera adds ten pounds of slime, so..."

The burn in his lungs becomes a little more apparent, a little more dire. He clenches his hands into fists, lets the dig of his nails into his palms ground him. Nobody seems to notice him backing up against the wall to hyperventilate, but Daniel's eyes stay trained on him the whole time, even as the conversation carries on without them.

"You okay?" he asks, handing Buck his phone back.

"I-I don't know," Buck wheezes. Daniel squints at him for a moment, something calculating in his eyes gone as fast as it appeared.

"Already worrying about names, huh?" Daniel nods knowingly and nudges him with an elbow. "Got a few suggestions: Daniel, Dan, Danny—"

"Chris."

"What?"

"We're gonna call him Christopher," Buck says with the utmost certainty.

He's not sure who we is or where the name comes from, but he knows without a shadow of a doubt that his son is called Christopher.

Someone told him once, someone important, that they only knew the name when they saw him.

Well, Buck's seen him and he knows.

His son is called Christopher.

(OR: buck dreams of a family fractured by reality and wakes to the family of his dreams)

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melverie · 1 month

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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but #i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries #and it just made me miss it so much #+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore #like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that #but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too #so i'm kind of at a loss here #tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up #i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right #i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries #that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way #aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that #also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while #like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that #but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut #ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there #do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me #and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here #that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this #longing feeling to start again lol #hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows

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momentarysilence · 10 months

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I wanted to have a go at the memory game that Petra made!

no Krisis boys tho because I wanna draw them properly first before doing silly little doodles like this lol

it was fun trying to remember what everyone's designs look like, I definitely forgot / messed up a lot of details but overall I'm pretty happy with how well I was able to remember things!

#one funny thing about drawing characters from memory is when you can't remember how their outfit looks so ya just start bullshitting lol #the amount of time I sat there trying to remember wtf rosemi's outfit looks like lmao #I also couldn't remember for the life of me what colour hex's tie is. I thought it was blue or grey but nope! it's red!#another funny thing that tripped me up was with the people with heterochromia. trying to remember which way around their eye colours are #it was especially funny with aster because I had his eye colours the right way around originally but I had a gut feeling I was wrong #so I switched them around. but I had it right the first time lmao #vtuber #vtuber fanart #nijisanji #nijisanji en #lazulight #obsydia #ethyria #luxiem #noctyx #iluna #xsoleil #my art #fanart #art challenge

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