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chirpsythismorning · 9 months

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Just watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time and I need to talk about it.

Throughout the movie, we see Ennis experience a lot of intense discomfort and fear at the idea of being intimate with a man, despite it becoming abundantly clear in the details and based on his actions that that is indeed what he wants. He even admits to Jack that this fear stems from an experience he had at a young age, when his father showed him two men who were presumed to be lovers (they were roommates vibes), murdered and castrated, with him basically using it as a lesson to show Ennis that being gay was wrong and would get you killed.

Jack on the other hand was a little less discomforted or fearful at the idea of being with a man, in that we actually saw him return the following summer to Brokeback Mountain hoping Ennis would be there, only for him to show up alone. We saw how after this he confidently approached a man at the bar hoping to get to know him, only to get rejected and risk getting hate crimed (foreshadowing 😭). And we saw how, over time, Jack’s struggle had more to do with being hurt over Ennis’ unwillingness to commit or even just consider the possibility of them being together long term, even despite the risk of being gay in the 60’s.

Near the end of the film, upon Jack’s death, Ennis discovers from his father that over the past 20 years since they met at Brokeback Mountain, Jack constantly brought it up to his folks, how Ennis, his friend, was going to move up to their ranch and they were going to build a cabin and live together and take over for the family.

Jack was often the one in the moment taking the chances for them to be together. He was the one who mentioned that they could go to Mexico, with Ennis furiously rejecting it saying ‘you know what happens to people like you there??’

But what’s even more painful, is that in this same scene, Ennis’ acknowledges the truth more directly, and why it’s so painful is because it ends up ironically coming true:

Here, Ennis is basically saying that if he decides to be with Jack for real, aka faces his queerness head on, that’s going to be the thing that gets them (Jack) killed. Shortly after this, Jack loses it and has that infamous ass monologue, followed by Ennis breaking down over how it’s Jack’s fault that he’s this way in the first place.

In the end, when Jack dies, Ennis finds out about what happened from Jack’s wife, Lureen Newsome, who said Jack was pumping up a flat out on a backroad when his tire blew up, with the rim of the tire slamming his face, breaking his nose and jaw, and knocking him unconscious on his back. By the time someone drove by on the deserted backroad, he had drowned in his own blood.

The audience might’ve believed this story, if it wasn’t for how rehearsed it sounded coming out of Lureen’s mouth, but it also doesn’t help that images of Jack being hate crimed as his true cause of death are flashing across Ennis’s mind in real time while Lureen is telling him about the ‘accident’.

While it’s left up to interpretation, it’s implied from what his wife and father said, that Jack was hate-crimed by his father in law, with it being covered up.

Broken nose? Broken jaw?… Those are the kinds of wounds someone endures after being beaten up. And if it’s happening to the point of death, then he was essentially beaten to death.

This then fits into what Jack’s father said, because apparently, shortly before he died, he’d told his father he’d found a different friend that was going to come up there to the ranch with him. And so it’s very likely Lureen’s father caught wind of this as his plans to leave neared, leading to his murder (Jack also bitched his father in law tf out in an epic way, which on its own felt unnecessary in the moment, but within the context of this makes a whole lot more sense).

Either way, it seems Jack waited for Ennis to change his mind. 20 years he waited, and when Ennis didn’t, Jack finally moved on with someone else who made an offer of his own years before, only to get murdered just as Ennis feared he would if he decided to live his life authentically.

Ennis initially found out like this, in a postcard that bounced of him inquiring Jack about seeing each other again after that last massive fall out where they had, only for Ennis’s worst fear to be realized:

Nov 7th with deceased stamped across it has me spiraling 😭

Now, obviously Brokeback Mountain is one of the most well known queer films of all time, like there’s no denying that. So it’s fairly easy to assume ST could be taking some inspiration from this film just like they have with hundreds upon hundreds of other films. But especially if they are planning to go the queer route, homage to this film is pretty much guaranteed (there’s also one more reason it might be guaranteed, but I’m saving that for the end 🤣).

Regardless, as you can probably already tell, it’s very easy to see similarities between Ennis with Mike and Jack with Will.

Mike getting the ‘you see Michael? You see what happens?’ treatment from his father, in the first episode in the series, is very Ennis coded in that this is a TV show that follows that up with seasons of Mike pushing Will away from him, with it leading to a boiling point where he says, ‘What did you think? Really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement in play games for the rest of our lives?’ with Will responding, ‘Yeah. I guess I did. I really did,’ aka extremely Jack coded.

The really epic thing about this though, is that ST is clearly going on a different journey than Brokeback Mountain did, in that it’s simply subverting the bury your gays trope. While they are acknowledging the risk of being queer in the 80’s, they’re not letting it end ‘realistically’ like many people have insisted it must because that is the only option. And this will be a satisfying ending because it’s coming as a response to all those heartbreaking stories before it that have reinforced this idea that happy endings just aren’t an option for gay people who simply want to be together.

While Ennis and Jack didnt get their happy ending like they wanted, Mike and Will on the other hand 😏

And last but not least, on a more hilariously ironic note, the guy who Jack was going to settle for in the end instead of Ennis, was a guy named Randall Malone, played by none other than David fucking Harbour.

#byler #stranger things #brokeback mountain #am I late to the party #yes yes I am #but I was puny when this movie came out so I am just catching up 😭#anyways #I balled my eyes out at the end when Ennis’a worst fear came true #it sucked #although it followed the bury your gays trope #I will say it was still good in that it presented the risk from the very beginning #so the foreshadowing was there at least 😔#anyways will is so jack coded 😭#the way he excitedly drove to meet up with ennis after he found out about his divorce bc he thought it meant they could be together now #only for ennis to be like nothing changes if anything we have to see each other even less 😭#and jack just drives home balling 😭

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skyward-floored · 7 months

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Whumptober Day 19: Psychological

I’ve been meaning to do something like this to Legend in particular for a while now, I finally had an excuse with today’s prompt (though all of them were a little weird...). I’ve also been getting Legend a lot I realized... oops.

Warnings: not too much. themes of loss/grief, heavy on the hurt/comfort

Read on ao3

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It was the perfect kind of day for lazing around.

Warm and sunny, with a cool breeze that rustled against the palm trees and stopped the sunshine from being too hot. The ocean waves rolling in the background, and the occasional cry of a seagull lending to the sleepy atmosphere.

Legend sighed happily, and rested his head on Marin’s where they were flopped together in the grass.

“You’re being so clingy, Link,” she teased as he nestled in, and he held on a little tighter, making her squeak in surprise.

“I only just got you back, I’m going to enjoy every second,” he said determinedly, and she laughed, the sound musical and warm.

Goddesses he’d missed her.

He’d had a quiet hope during all of the time he’d been traveling through portals with the other heroes that maybe... somehow... he’d find Marin again. They were traveling through time, right? Anything was possible... maybe she was alive and well somewhere.

He hadn’t dared to hope too loud, but then the most recent portal they’d gone through had left them on a beach by the ocean. His only warning had been a shocked gasp before he’d turned around and found himself being hugged by the girl he thought he’d never see again.

Marin.

He sighed in happiness, and he knew Marin was smiling at him, her hair tickling his chin.

“I really missed you,” he admitted quietly, voice still thick from his earlier tears, and Marin hummed, nestling into his arms.

“Me too, Link.”

The shouts of the others as they messed around in the water drifted by on the wind, and Legend closed his eyes, content to stay exactly where he was. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages, not since they’d last been able to rest at the ranch, and he was going to enjoy every second of it.

Something flickered in his mind then, and the noise of the others momentarily grew.

Legend opened his eyes, something cold suddenly trickling through his chest, and he sat up, taking his head off of Marin’s.

“Link?” she asked, and Legend looked at her, studying her features. Brown eyes, red hair, freckles dusted across her nose... just like he remembered.

She sat up as well, and he put a hand on her cheek, feeling her skin under his palm, warm from the sunshine. Legend carefully rubbed a thumb under her eye as he looked at her, her eyebrows raised. She looked exactly like he remembered. Exactly the same, but why...

“Link, what’s wrong?” she asked again, and Legend looked at their surroundings, then back at her, trying to focus on her face again.

He couldn’t quite do it.

The cold feeling grew, settling deep into his chest, and the world faded around the edges, just a bit. Dread began to overtake him, and Legend took Marin’s hands in his, feeling at her skin with shaking fingers.

She felt real. She felt real and looked real and sounded real, and earlier when she’d suddenly kissed him she’d tasted real, but—

But—

“This is a dream,” he choked out, and Marin looked at him, her brown eyes brimming with sadness.

“It is,” she said quietly.

Legend held on to her still, almost desperately, but the world was fading the more he tried to cling to it, the ocean slipping away, Marin’s brown eyes fading the longer he looked at them.

“I’m sorry Link,” she said gently, then disappeared with everything else.

Legend woke up alone.

He opened his eyes, staring dully at the ceiling, and swallowed, closing them again with a shaking sigh. That dream. Again.

His fists clenched as he tried to get his emotions under control and not think about it. Anger and grief and a swirl of all sorts of other awful feelings raced through him without his permission, and he clutched at his blanket, shaking slightly.

He hated that dream. He hated it.

He’d had it multiple times since he’d come on this stupid quest, and every time was worse. Every time he desperately let himself believe that it was real, that they had gone through a portal and he had found Marin, but every single time he woke up.

Legend swallowed thickly, scrubbing his arm over his face, and only feeling more angry when the sleeve got damp. Great. He’d been crying in his sleep.

And the worst thing was, it had been tears of joy.

“Legend?”

He flinched, and wiped his face again before glancing beside him, seeing Wind and Hyrule both awake and looking at him, some of the others stirring.

“Are you okay?” Wind asked in concern, and Legend turned away, his shoulders hitching up.

“Fine,” he choked out, then threw his blanket off and left the room they’d all been sleeping in.

All of them except for Time of course, who was sleeping in his own bed with his red-haired wife who’d probably triggered his stupid dream because he only ever had it when they were here—

Legend forced himself not to stomp down the stairs or slam the door as he went outside, despite how sorely he was tempted. He’d let the others get some sleep at least.

He certainly wasn’t going to get any more.

Legend sat down with an angry huff on the steps of the porch of the farmhouse, his elbows on his knees. Resting his chin on his hands, he glared out at the mostly-darkened fields as his breath shook, lit only by a thin sliver of moon. A cricket was chirping somewhere, and Legend listened to it, struggling to calm down.

He wasn’t going to cry. It had just been a dream. It hadn’t been real, so there was no reason to cry about it.

An owl hooted, and he tensed up, hunching over and burying his head in his hands.

He wasn’t.

The door behind him creaked, and Legend snapped his head up, prepared to send one of the others back upstairs with a sharp word, but the words died in his throat as Malon stepped through the doorway, her red hair almost brown in the shadows.

Great. It was the last person he wanted to see right now.

“Sorry if I woke you,” Legend muttered as Malon crossed the porch over to him, wrapped in a shawl against the chill.

“Oh you didn’t,” she said, looking back at the house. “Wind and Hyrule were whispering right outside my door, and they woke me up.”

Legend huffed out a small laugh, and looked out at the darkened fields again. “Sounds about right.”

“...May I sit?” Malon asked, gesturing to the steps.

Legend shrugged, not looking at her. It wasn’t like he could stop her, they were her steps.

Malon hummed, and settled herself down next to him, Legend relaxing slightly at the distance she left between them. At least she was giving him space.

A bit of her hair caught the moonlight, and Legend swallowed, looking at his feet.

He wasn’t thinking about it. Nope.

“I’m sorry to pry hon, but... I’ve noticed you don’t seem to sleep well when you’re here,” Malon suddenly spoke up, her voice gentle. Legend stiffened. “Is there any way we can make things more comfortable for you? I know it’s stuffy being crammed in that room with seven other boys.”

“No, it’s plenty comfortable,” Legend muttered, not looking at her. “It’s not... it’s not that.”

Malon was silent for a minute, and Legend slightly curled in on himself, wishing he’d taken his blanket with him. It was kind of cold out here, and he hadn’t even put on socks or anything.

A part of him was relieved it wasn’t warm though. It made it easier to keep the memory of his balmy dream away.

“You know, I’ve sat on this porch in the middle of the night many a time,” Malon said softly, looking up at the moon. “When I was a little girl now and then, but mostly right after me and Link were married. He’d try not to wake me, but his adventures left a lot behind. He rarely slept through the night. Still doesn’t, sometimes.”

She breathed in, and let out a deep sigh, looking over at Legend with a sad look in her eyes.

“I hate to think you’ve been through even half as much as him,” she said softly, and Legend hated the sting that started up in his eyes. “And I know a few kind words aren’t going to fix any of that. Especially from me, I know you don’t prefer my company.”

“...What?” Legend startled, and looked at her.

“Well, I assumed you weren’t too fond of me since you always avoid me when you boys end up here,” she said in surprise, and Legend stared at her, then shook his head, just stopping himself from letting out a bitter laugh.

Of course. Of course he’d pushed her away and made her think he hated her.

He was awfully good at that, wasn’t he?

“No, no Malon, you’re not...” he tried to explain, but his voice caught in his throat, a sudden lump making it impossible to speak. He swallowed thickly, and Malon waited patiently for him to finish, remaining silent as he tried to gather himself, not pushing.

Legend swallowed again, and looked over at her.

“You look... like someone I lost,” Legend said thickly, and closed his eyes against the tears gathering in his eyes. “I-I wasn’t trying...”

His voice broke, and he harshly cleared his throat, nearly shaking with the effort not to cry. A hand cautiously settled over his own, and Legend looked down at it, his lip quivering.

He couldn’t cry, he wouldn’t cry, he refused—

“Oh hon, I’m so sorry,” Malon said in a gentle, grieved voice, and Legend couldn’t stop the sob that hiccuped out of him.

Malon immediately scooted closer, and Legend didn’t resist when she gathered him into her arms, shaking as he entirely broke down. It was like a dam had burst, and Legend sobbed into Malon’s arms, equally hating himself for crying and feeling utterly overwhelmed at the emotions that were rushing past his defenses.

He’d only let himself cry for Marin and Koholint once before. But now all the grief and guilt were pouring out, with him unable to stop them one bit, and he choked on another sob, tears pouring down his cheeks.

He hated crying.

Malon held him the whole time while he sobbed, gently rocking him, running a hand through his hair. Her arms were warm and tight, and Legend wondered distantly if his mother would have held him like this if she’d still been alive.

It could have been a couple minutes or an hour later, but Legend’s tears finally slowed, and he sighed, feeling entirely rung out.

Malon ran a hand over his head, and Legend felt heat rise in his cheeks, embarrassment hitting him almost as hard as the sudden surge of emotion had earlier. He’d just spent the last however long it had been crying onto a woman he’d only met a handful of times, and his tear-stained cheeks felt hot.

He quickly raised his head and wiped his eyes, and Malon gave him a gentle smile.

“Better?” she asked, and Legend gave her an awkward nod, sniffling a little. He did feel better, come to think of it.

“Sorry I—” he began to apologize, but Malon stopped him, squeezing his shoulder.

“No trouble at all, hon.”

Legend stared at her, then nodded, ducking his head down. He still felt wrung out and embarrassed, and the ache was still there if he thought too hard about the dream that had woken him, but... he also felt warm.

Like everything would be okay.

...He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like that.

Legend exhaled, and when Malon tucked her shawl over him, he found himself leaning into it.

Neither of them said anything else, and they sat together on the porch for a long time, Malon occasionally running a hand over Legend’s hair, until the sky began to change from navy to pink, stars winking out.

And after that night, whenever Legend found himself at the ranch, he slept the entire night through.

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu legend #lu malon #lu marin #linked universe fanfic #whumptober 2023 #day 19 #hurt/comfort #writing from the floor #somewhat based off me #I was in an awful mental place when my cat of many many years died #and I had a recurring dream that she actually wasn’t dead and had come back!#like a ridiculous number of times #it sucked #but the premise fit awfully well with legend (sorry bud)

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