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#it’s probably just because. one is easier to talk about.
10underoot2 · 3 days
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I'm here in my agony to say that discussion between Haein and Hyunwoo after he moved his stuff into the nursery will kill me with how painful it is.
They're both in so much pain it's visible there but they're unable to talk to each other about it.
'How could you move your stuff without telling me?' She's so hurt. Her tone is accusatory. She's hurt that she just emptied her unborn child's nursery and her husband decides to move away from her as well.
'You never told me you were emptying this room either.' He's pained that they've lost a much awaited child and she didn't bother consulting him before removing everything. He didn't get his closure. He's angry and upset and so hurt but he doesn't know that he needs to get through a very strongly wrought shield around her heart to have her acknowledge his pain.
'What are you getting at? Are you blaming me for the miscarriage?'
I never imagined Haein would think Hyunwoo would want to blame her. I want to cry that in her grief she failed to have enough faith in him and his love. She's hurt by his decision to move out so she takes it out on him. She's a classical study of saying something to completely annihilate the other when you're the one who's hurt.
Also, (this pained me more than anything) notice the extreme softness and absence of anger in his voice as he responds to her.
'What are you saying? I never thought that way.'
His anger and pain seeps back in when he confesses to her, 'I'm just as sad as you -'
'Don't lie. I know you want to say that it's my fault!' I wanted to yell at her to stop. I'm so sad that she let her past trauma catch up. Is that all she's thought about since she got the news of the miscarriage? That Hyunwoo would blame her? Her fears, her pain, her assumptions they all won. And they played a part in driving them apart.
'Forget it. I can't talk any sense into you.'
I think this is the most realistic line I've heard in a Kdrama. Because people do tend to in their anger and pain just give up. Hyunwoo couldn't deal with her accusing him of something he never did, he couldn't deal with her inability to listen and acknowledge his pain as well. So he walked away - it was just simpler, easier to do.
It's also reminding me of how he told her that if they lived in a closed space they would have been forced to confront each other. They were bound to hear the other cry and console the other then. When I think about the absolutely painful, lonely, cold two years that followed this, it makes me so sad.
I didn't know a minute long scene could send me in a spiral of sadness. As sad as a miscarriage is I've had immense clarity that it never implied that they could never have children. Not to dismiss their pain it's all very valid, but if they worked towards getting closure sooner they could have been so much stronger and probably could have had a child sooner. It makes me sad how the pain rendered them incapable to mend and work towards their relationship.
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valsdelulucorner · 4 hours
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Grim Head Cannons <3
This is strictly platonic because grim is, well he's a cat
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Grim loves to sit and lay across your shoulders and neck, weather he is just tired or just wants to hear better, he loves just resting on your shoulders. He can't hear the conversation properly? He's on your shoulders. He's tired and doesn't want to walk/float anymore? He's laying across your shoulders while he rests his face into the side of your neck. If you have long hair he'll use that to cover himself. If he gets threatened or annoyed by another student. He's standing on the back of your neck and leaning against the top of his head, hiding being you while he screeches things back. He gets scared? He's digging his claws into your shoulders while he hides behind you. Practically for anything, he would use it as a excuse to get on top of your shoulders.
After getting to know you more and spending basically all of his time with you, he starts to grow protective of his henchman. You are one of the first people to actually show him kindness and not call him names, the first person to actually hug him and care for him. He likes it, he doesn't want to loose something so precious to him. If he gets jealous when you talk to or hang out with the twst guys, he will just climb onto your shoulders and add himself into the conversation, acting like nothing is happening while he stares daggers into your companion. Your his henchmen, not theirs!
Ok hear me out, whenever Grims emotions get really strong, the fire in his ears start to grow and spread. Its difficult to actually get him to a point where his emotions get so out of control but when you do, keep a fire extinguisher or a fire blanket near by, though a fire blanket is preferred. Be careful when approaching before wrapping him in the blanket, just hold him in said blanket like a baby for a while before he calms down. He'll act like nothing happened but in reality, he's thankful to you, maybe a little annoyed at you if you use the fire extinguisher on him
He grooms you like a cat sometimes when your chilling with him, hear me out. If you guys are in bed ready for sleep or just laying with on a couch, he will start to lick and arrange your hair. If you have short hair, he will probably use his tounge because its easier for him. If you have long hair, he found out the hard way that grooming long hair is extremely difficult so he Justs uses his little paws instead. If you try and lick him back he will smack you with his paw before laying on you in the most annoying, inconvenient way
If you have a bag of marshmallows and a hungry grim, be prepared to make some home made roast marshmallows. I like the idea you introduce him to roasted marshmallows, he though marshmallows were mid but once you showed him the world of toasted marshmallows, he cant eat them without toasting them a little bit
If you come to twst as a chef or a Taylour, grim better be prepared to be either your little helper or your little test subject. If your a chef (and if Crowley actually gives you food for once) he will happily try and eat whatever you give him. I feel like he would love your food but like it abit on the burnt side, he eats rocks for heavens sake so i feel like he would like stuff more on the crunchy side. If your a clothing Taylour, he will begrudgingly agree to let you take measurements and use him to make little dresses, hats, ties, whatever you want. As long as you give him some tuna afterwards, he'll complain less
If you get gravely injured after a overblot or almost die during a fight, he would genuinely be so concerned and scared about loosing his henchman, you mean alot to him so seeing you bleeding and unconscious scares him. Once your allowed to go back to Ramshackle, he will honestly do his best to not cause trouble for you while you recover. If you have a broken arm, you are absolutely not allowed to hold anything around him, he will either carry them for you or make the first years carry your stuff instead. If you have a broken leg and need crutches, he will either sit on your shoulder and make sure no one gets close to you or he will walk along beside you and make sure you are not pushing yourself to far. He gets so protective of you while your recovering, he will make sure anyone that comes to help you keeps their distance, constant glares coming from him. He seems pissy but he is deathly afraid for you
Oh my lord, he will be absolutely heartbroken if you find a way back to your own world, your his best friend. If you manage to leave, I don't think he will be the same again. In a few years he will be alright but initially when you do leave, he is absolutely depressed. If he is willing to do absolutely anything to keep you here in twisted wonderland, he will break your mirror and blame it on one of the side characters, being there to comfort you while Crowley tries to find another way to send you home. Don't worry about why the mirrors are starting to break, grim is always there to comfort his Human
He likes to cuddle with you at night, he is basically a cat. He will either rest on your chest, will let you hold him in your arms while you lay in your side, rest underneath your armpit or curl up next to your neck. I love the head cannon that Grim is able to purr. When he is relaxed and cuddled up into your side, he will purr softly while he's dead asleep next to you. Dont mention this to him or he will try and stop it, he's a little embarrassed
he calls you "Human" "His Henchman"
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I love this little trouble maker, sorry if i did write him abit out of character.
Who should i do next?
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raapija · 22 hours
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hi! as a prompt for pookie au (which i love), how do you think carlos would react to finding out his dad is dating LANCE of all people? would he be immediately freaking out or would he hold it in and rant to charles about it later?
Thank you for the prompt. <3
(Carlos and Charles hadn't yet met, as this is set in 2018.)
summary: Lance talks with Carlos for the first time after Lance and Fernando told him they were dating. Also some strollonso fluff to balance it out.
warnings: some swearing, Carlos being extremely mean to Lance
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Lance fiddled with the sleeve of his hoodie. He could feel his ears burning as Carlos stared at him from the other side of the patio table. The cool evening air made his skin tingle.
"Why?" he heard Carlos ask after what had felt like 15 minutes of silence. Lance had sat down with him after having dinner with Fernando. It was the first time they told Carlos that they were together. Lando or Oscar probably would've blurted it out at some point, but it was definitely easier to tell him like this.
"What?" Lance asked for him to clarify what exactly he meant by 'why?.' He couldn't really look at Carlos, because he knew he was staring daggers back at him. They had been racing together for years, but had never really became friends or spent time together. Carlos was also a couple years older than him and had always been kind of intimidating to Lance. Something about those dark brown eyes.
"Why my dad? Of all people, why him?" Carlos continued his questioning. Now Lance looked at him and his heart skipped a few beats as he saw the expression on Carlos' face. Contempt.
"I love him."
Carlos scoffed and Lance felt something inside him shift. He straightened in his seat and took a deep breath. He wasn't going to give in.
"Listen," he started. "I really do like him. I know it's fucking weird that he's older and you're older than me, but so what? We like each other. It's not just some fling. He's done a lot for me and I for him. I love him."
Carlos studied him from across the table. The longer he didn't say anything, the faster Lance's heart beat. Adrenaline rushing in his veins as if he was on a race track, trying to overtake him at a high-speed corner. In the end, it was Carlos who averted his eyes to look away.
"If you break his heart, I'll kill you." Carlos said and Lance breathed out. His face was serious. "I've seen what it's like for him, and I don't want to see that again, ever. So don't you dare."
"I won't hurt him. I promise." Lance said and Carlos' eyes moved back to focus on him.
"You promise?" he chuckled, now sounding condescending. "That's what the last guy said as well. And then he left him."
Lance's heart was about to burst out of his chest. Maybe he couldn't overtake in the corner and instead would crash into the wall.
"My dad gave everything to me. He gave me a chance when no one else would. He doesn't deserve you. He's got all he needs in me and my brothers. He loves us. Not you. " Carlos said, his words cutting right through Lance like little knives. It made his throat turn dry. "You understand?"
"I do." Lance got out. Carlos' chair dragged painfully on the tile flooring of the patio when he stood up to leave. As he walked past Lance, he gave him a strong pat on the shoulder and made Lance flinch. Crashed, in the wall. Game over.
"I'll be watching you." Carlos said and then stepped back into the house, leaving him alone. Lance breathed out and a flood of emotions ran through him as he relaxed. He was 20. Just barely got into F1 and immediately started dating a 37 year-old with three grown kids. This really did sound like some sort of a breakdown if you looked at it from the outside. Still, he was glad the only person at his throat was Carlos and not the media. Only a few people knew, and that was for the best. He had enough on his plate as a 'pay-driver'.
¬
Later that night, Lance was laying in bed, deep under the covers and waiting for Fernando to join him. He had been in this bed countless times before, but the idea of Carlos lurking somewhere in the same house made him uneasy.
He could finally hear Fernando's familiar footsteps climbing up the staircase to the second floor where the bedroom was. As soon as he stepped into the room, Lance's mind stopped racing.
"You okay?" the Spaniard asked as he sat down on the other side of the bed from Lance. He must've sensed Lance's anxiety all the way from downstairs.
"Yeah. Talked to Carlos." Lance said and turned onto his side so he could see Fernando better. The older man laid his watch and jewelry from his wrists on the bedside table and the slid under the covers. They were both facing each other and Lance scooted a little closed so Fernando could wrap an arm around him.
"How it go? Not too scary, I hope." Fernando's voice was soothing and Lance settled against his chest, warm skin touching his forehead. He felt Fernando press little kisses into his hair on the top of his head.
"He only threatened to kill me, so not that bad." Lance said and Fernando laughed. Him laughing made it feel a bit better, like he wasn't actually going to get beat up if he made one mistake.
"That's my Carlito." Fernando hummed and squeezed Lance a little closer to him, slowly running his hand up and down his back. "Don't worry about him. He likes to pretend he's tougher than he is."
"He told me someone broke your heart before so he didn't want me to repeat that." Lance said and Fernando's hand stopped moving.
Lance heard a quiet 'oh...' and wriggled back a bit to look at him. Fernando's eyes were sad. Lance didn't like that.
"I'm sorry."
"No, no." Fernando hurried to stop him from apologizing. He moved his hand up and set it on Lance's cheek. "That's nothing. History. I got you now, so it's okay."
"Yeah?" Lance asked and Fernando gently tucked a bit of his hair behind his ear. The Spaniard smiled at him, his eyes back to normal and happy. The things Carlos had said still irked at the back of Lance's brain, but he didn't press on it.
"You fix me." Fernando said and moved in to kiss Lance on the forehead. He then pulled him close again and held his arm tight around him. "I talk with Carlito tomorrow. Tell him to be nice to you."
Lance hummed and could already feel himself falling asleep. It felt so safe with Fernando. Strong arms holding onto him and his warmth transferring into him. Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay.
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manicpixiefelix · 3 days
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 22.
Summary: After mostly resolving your issues regarding Oliver and Venetia, it's much easier to enjoy the time leading up to the dinner with the Henrys. Still, Oliver seems more than a little nervous to be around you and Felix, much to Felix's ongoing chagrin. He wonders how long it will take for Oliver to take the hint.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
A/N: 3044 words. oh yeah, its all coming together. :) i know the last few updates have been kind of spaced out, so i'd love to get some feedback from you lovely folks about how you think it's coming along now that we're in the back half.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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One day - probably one day soon - you'd have to tell Felix the truth about Oliver and Venetia. By that time, you reasoned, you'd have come up with a way to say it that would make him see why you hadn't called Oliver out for lying, and why you'd kept it from him. His gut reaction, like your own, was to immediately jump to the worst possible, malevolent conclusion. Based on past events, it was a sound conclusion to jump to. But Oliver's not Eddie. It was a moment of weakness, and Oliver really does love Felix. Somehow you'd find a way to make this painless, perhaps even a way to show how much Oliver cared, because that's what you'd seen, that's the why behind your own deception.
Except Felix wasn't even ready to admit out loud to himself, let alone you, or god forbid Oliver, that he genuinely felt that way about him. Even if he definitely, clearly did. But again, past heartbreak makes some of his trepidation far more excusable.
At least you have a distraction for the afternoon - not Oliver, no, he would never be so bold in direct sunlight as to do anything more than make out with you on the pool lounge. No, this distraction wasn't a particularly good one.
The NDA from your parents, sitting in your study.
Part of you knows you should probably have a lawyer look over this, but there was something about the idea of involving yet another person in your parents ongoing attempts to abandoned you that left a sour taste in your mouth. So that left you to look over it all on your own. The sticky-hot afternoon in the study wears thin on your nerves, but irritation was all that ever came of it, not upset or disappointment. Reconciling with Oliver probably had quite a bit to do with it.
Dinner is a welcome reprieve. When Oliver smiles at you across the table, there's a weight that's lifted from your shoulders are you smile back. Felix too is in notably high spirits, though he's decidedly not talking to Venetia; his parents don't seem to mind, however, as long as he's happier than when he'd started the day.
"Is there anything planned for after dinner?" Oliver asked, eyes wide and earnest as he looks around the table, all present sharing an equally confused look as if one of them may have planned something all the others had forgotten.
"Not as far as I'm aware," Sir James offers after a moment.
"Tomorrow will be quite the busy night," Elspeth elaborates with ease, "I'm sure we'd all like to conserve our energy."
"Last chance to cancel dinner with the Henrys," Felix says, already knowing it's not a real option, even after Elspeth chides him for the suggestion, that they'd already had all the food brought and extra help hired.
"Has the seating chart been organised yet?" You asked hopefully, to which Elspeth smiled when her gaze landed upon you, assuring you she'd finalised it that afternoon, turning only to remind Duncan to have it delivered to your study that evening.
"You'll be seated next to Henry of Suffolk, dear," she also tells you, and immediately you're filing that information away in the back of your mind. Henry of Suffolk, partner at Richmond & Suffolk Legal; his late wife was named Clarice, he had a daughter and son a few years younger than you... their names escaped you at that moment.
Beside you, Felix is shamelessly admiring you.
"What?" You ducked your head to try and hide your embarrassed grin.
"Just watching your mind work," he teased with a laugh which had you rolling your eyes with fond exasperation.
"So you can see the cogs too then?" Venetia giggles across the table, though Farleigh chimes in before Felix has the chance to give his sister a look.
"Surprised there's not steam coming out of their ears."
"I'm not a robot," you insisted, flustered by the attention and their combined teasing.
"Just your beautiful brain then," Oliver adds fondly, and out of sheer surprise you look up to meet his endeared gaze as he looks back at you. When had he been let in on that particular joke, you wondered? Something in the back of your mind is sure that it was Venetia, after all, she was the one who most often referred to your 'robot brain' as such, but you don't have it in you to be upset. You never do at these jokes, even though you may occasionally protest about them, they're always intended as a compliment.
And there's no way you could be mad with Oliver looking at you like that.
Dinner continues on with very little fuss after that, and you return to your study feeling much lighter than you had before. Felix joins you, complaining about how you'd spent all afternoon in here, and he couldn't bare to think of you spend all evening alone in here too. Of course he knows that Oliver will more than likely join you when it gets late enough, but he's brought a book, and has quietly claimed the sofa beneath the window for himself. These nights have never been uncommon, but this Summer has seemed especially busy at Saltburn, so you more than welcome his quiet company as the day's heat slowly burns away.
It's not long before there's someone approaching your door.
"It's Duncan," you say, mostly for Felix's benefit, before the butler himself knocks and you invite him in.
"The seating arrangements for tomorrow night's event, Captain," Duncan says graciously, giving you the faintest smile as he hands the document over and turns swiftly on his heel, practically evaporating into the darkness of the house silently.
"Still have no idea how you do that," Felix sounds rather impressed from where he's draped himself over the sofa.
"Do what?" You asked distractedly, examining the seating chart in the golden glow of the lamp.
"How you know exactly who's coming and going without even seeing them."
"Duncan was just being courteous for me," you mutter off-handily, "if I'd heard nothing before he'd knocked, I'd still know it was him."
"You know that's even more impressive, right?" Felix laughs, and finally you turn to him, only to see him watching you like he can't quite believe what you're saying. Sometimes you find yourself surprised by the Cattons, and how little they seem to understand or appreciate about the Estate on which they live.
"No, what's impressive is that I can tell what kind of mood your in half the time just by the sound of your footsteps," you tells him with a grin.
"Now you're lying," Felix snorts, shaking his head. But you continue.
"No, seriously Fi, it's not always entirely accurate, but it's pretty close; I'm not quite there with the rest of your family, but I think I know you well enough."
"That's like, stalker levels of dedication," but his smile is bright in the light of the moon, and his tone turns teasing, "do you have a thing for me or something?"
"I wouldn't go that far," you huffed a laugh, playing along with the bit.
"Shame," he sighed dramatically, "I was really hoping you did, 'cos I kind of have a thing for you."
"I wouldn't if I were you," finally standing, you sauntered over to him, smirking as he beamed up at you, thoroughly pleased by this silly little bit, "that sounds like a scandal waiting to happen."
"Call the tabloids then," Felix laughed softly as he welcomed you into his arms.
"Any stalker-like tendencies of yours I should be worried about?" You asked, settling against him, leaning into him.
"Yeah, I've got a bunch of your things in my room," Felix murmurs right before you kiss him, grinning as you do so. Things devolve from there to the two of you making out in the moonlight, giggling together, teasing nonsense passed back and forth as the moon rose higher in the sky.
"Ollie's at the door," you see fit to finally tell Felix, who looks down at you with wide, surprised eyes. Sheepishly you admit, "he's been there for like five minutes." It's getting terribly late, but you really don't want to go bed right now, or go anywhere that isn't here, in this moment. Felix snorts a laugh, face scrunching up with something close to embarrassment; he knows letting Oliver get away with this kind of thing is part of the game you're all playing, but it still catches him off guard with just how aware you were of the whole situation.
"Ollie," Felix called out, and you both heard a him start behind the study door, "Christ, mate, don't linger," he insists, righting both him and yourself to something more respectable on the sofa, but still insisting on holding you close, "come in already." You're practically in his lap.
Like a deer in the headlights, looking absolutely mortified at being caught out, Oliver pushes the door open and faintly apologises, telling you both he didn't want to interrupt.
"Interrupt what?" Felix says far too easily, smile wide and a bit coy, "nothing to interrupt," though you can hear it for what it is; nothing you, Oliver, could ever interrupt if you simply asked to join. How long would it take Oliver to realise this, you wondered; Felix is getting less subtle by the day.
"I was going to ask -" Oliver pauses, focus stolen by the way Felix presses a kiss to your shoulder, before his gaze returns to your face, your expectant smile. Felix knows exactly what he's doing, "um, was going to ask about the seats for the dinner tomorrow?" Oliver manages, "I don't... know the Henrys?"
As you stand, Felix lets out a loud, disappointed sigh, but lets you go, returning to his book. Every movement, every sound Felix makes captivates Oliver in this moment, and both you and Felix are more than aware of this. Still, you swan over to your desk, looking over the seating chart before you usher Oliver over.
"They've got you next to Ven and Lady Daphne," you show him, pointing out his place along the table, "she's Henry's wife," you add wryly, and hear Felix bark a laugh behind you. Oliver, for a moment, seems confused, gaze flicking between you both.
"Aren't all the -?"
"That's the joke, Ollie," you tell him, but he still seems too nervous to properly see the humour in it, just making a faint noise of understanding in the back of his throat. "Did you want to hang out for a bit?" You offered, "this contract's doing my head in," you flicked at the thick contract on your desk dismissively, "so I'm probably going to get stuck into something lighter, but you know we always love your company."
"Thanks, but, uh," Oliver hesitated, looking to Felix again, "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night."
"Okay," you say sunnily, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips, which seems to startle him, "hope you sleep well, Ollie."
"Yeah," Oliver still seems to be reeling from the brief show of affection, "you too."
"Good night, mate," Felix offers with a cheery wave.
"You going to kiss me good night too?" Oliver sounds almost dazed, and suddenly looks mortified once more, like he can't quite believe he'd said that. Felix, unphased, stands and makes his way over to you both.
"Sure," he seems to take the suggestion in stride, kissing the top of Oliver's head before he bends to quickly kiss him on the lips. For a moment after Felix has pulled back, Oliver's look at him like he's staring at the sun, and Felix is wearing a sharp, knowing smile, "'night, Ollie," he says, quieter this time.
"G'night, Felix," Oliver murmurs, making his way to the door as Felix nonchalantly reaches to take the seating chart from your hand to look it over for himself. You, however, watch Oliver go, feeling both helpless and amused all at once.
"You think if I fuck him he'll take the hint?" Felix asks quietly once the door was shut, and you'd both heard Oliver's door squeak closed for the night.
"Do you think if you fuck him you'll take the hint," you asked disbelievingly, "that man is so into you, Fi," you hissed, almost furiously wide-eyed as you looked up at him. As always, Felix responds dismissively.
"Told you I'm not saying anything until he does," Felix puts the document down, choosing instead to drape his arms over your shoulders, "we can fuck around all Summer for all I care, but you know I'm not going to hold my breath for things to get more serious unless he tells me."
"He just asked you to kiss him, Felix!"
"I wasn't in love with you when we first kissed."
"Bad example; yes you were."
"Okay, bad example, yes I was," Felix admits with a faint flush, "but for the record, I didn't think I was at the time; we were twelve," he regains his composure quickly, "but it's not like you're in love with Farleigh or my sister; yeah, I know you love them, but you're not in love with them."
"That's different, Fi, we've been fucking around since forever," you sighed, resting your head against him for a moment.
"It's not different," Felix insists, "I just-" but he paused, and when you chance a look up at him, his face is scrunched up, like he's on the verge of admitting something he really doesn't want to, "I don't want to be getting my hopes up if it's just fucking around with Ollie, you know?" It comes out far more frustrated than you'd anticipated, and though you pat his back comfortingly, you can't help but add -
"He drank your bathwater."
"He fucking watched me get myself off and didn't even do anything about it until after it happened! And not even with me!" Felix points out, sounding almost like a petulant child, "I left the fucking door open and everything!" He's pouting now, actually pouting.
"He probably thinks that if he's too forward he'll scare you off, or your parents will kick him out or something," you tried to reason with him, to which Felix groaned.
"But they won't! You saw how much they loved Eddie, fucking hell," he huffed, stepping back, now wearing a scowl. Where had this night turned to something unfortunate? "Mum would throw a fucking parade if I got a boyfriend who wasn't a cheating dickhead."
"You should tell Oliver that," you pointed out frankly, "or at the very least tell him the truth about things with Eddie, so he knows that you do more than just fuck around with pretty boys."
Everything suddenly goes very still.
"What?" There's no frown, no anger anywhere on Felix's face, just pure surprise, "do you think he thinks that?" You watch Felix re-evaluate the entire situation, giving him space to sort out his feelings, "I made it clear I'm into guys too- do you think he thinks -"
"I think," slowly, carefully, you step up to Felix, voice firm but kind, "that despite how much he's seen you fuck around with other people on campus, the only person you are actually in love with is me," Felix is quiet, looking down at you with this crestfallen look like he's disappointed in himself, "and he, like most people I'll remind you, probably assumes that if he wants you to look at him like you look at me, it'll be a competition."
"Of course it's not, that's so stupid," Felix muttered reflexively.
"I've tried to tell Ollie that," you sighed, wrapping an arm around him. Felix presses his face into your hair for a very long moment.
"What if he doesn't, though?" Comes through muffled and forlorn. You're not quite sure what he means, and thankfully Felix continues, not that he moves his face at all, "what if it is just fucking around and we've misread all of this; I can't tell him I actually love him too, I'd look like an absolute freak."
"Tell him about Eddie," you advised softly, "at least he'll get the hint that you're capable of falling in love with someone who isn't me." The reminder of Eddie would always probably ache, you're starting to come to realise. For now, however, you ignore it.
Felix hugs you tightly, and mumbles that you're probably right. Something eases in your chest at that.
Curled up together in bed not ten minutes later, neither your pyjamas or duvet are as comfortable or warm as Felix's arm around you. He's still deep in thought about the night that had just passed; when he muses that at least it was a better talk than the night before, he sounds like he's still making his mind up about that. Settling into sleep, however, you're contented knowing it was true.
The following morning feels comparatively serene, chattering away to the rest of the family about the night's coming festivities. Both you and Felix drop a quick kiss to the top of Oliver's head in passing on your way to collect breakfast - Farleigh's the only one who notices, and he rolls his eyes at you both. Venetia asks you what you'll be wearing to the event and lights up when you tell her it's the jumpsuit she'd bought you from Yves Saint Laurent for your last birthday, while Elspeth coos that you'll look just darling in it.
After yesterday morning's tenseness, getting to work in your garden, planting the flowers that had arrived for you, music playing cheerily through your little speaker, it feels like a dream. The sun is warm against your back, and for some weird reason you think you see Oliver skulking around in one of the gardens by the wall of the house. Lurking again. Probably habit more than anything else, you figured. Considering the games you've been playing with him, you don't see the need to discourage that kind of behaviour. He's by the window of one of the little libraries; you wonder what must be going on in there to have caught his attention.
Oh well, you'll ask later if you remember.
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lostinvasileios · 2 days
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Hi! I’m sorry if my question seems to be silly, but I really was wondering.
Have you ever saw and/or heard you deities? How do you do that? I’ve never experienced something like that, but I see people sharing this sort of experience. Like… they can describe appearance, voice etc of their deities. How? I fully rely on my gut in my journey, but I do wish to see, hear and know my deities in face. So, if my question doesn’t bother you, could you share your experience and tips, please?
Thank you!
Hello there, lovely!! Your question isn't silly at all, don't worry. Thanks for asking. 🤍🌼
I indeed have! I've seen/felt and heard my deities before. And, the process to be able to do this is different for everyone.
But, for me, it took countless hours of meditation with them, I was spending so much time focusing on my already existing abilities. Like my active imagination, my sense of visualization that came from that, and so on and so forth which would eventually allow me to begin to see my beloved deities. Being able to recognize their energy soon led me to being able to comprehend their voices and feel their touches. Then that got me into the process of being able to see them.
Gut feelings are actually one of the ways you can get to learn your deities appearance as well. You could try and picture them from whatever comes to mind. A pop culture artwork of them, maybe a livened version of their statue, someone pretty on Pinterest with a few extra features, ect. Deity appearances are very fluid, and can change depending on any factor, so there's no pressure on finding out what they "exactly" look like. Because, they have no exact look. Just take whatever feels best for you. That's what it will come down to most of the time, anyway. What resonates. Like always, lol.
Actually, for about 6 months of being able to see them at first, I couldn't register their voices outside of when they would speak. If that makes sense, lol. Like, I'd understand it when they'd talk to me, but when they weren't speaking, I couldn't recall their voice, just what they had said. Sometimes, their appearance will do the same. You'll see it in the moment, you'll feel or hear them in the moment, then whenever that interaction/meditation ends - so does the...sensation? of them. You know?
For some part of my time with Apollon at first, I'd simply spend my time scrolling through Pinterest for pictures that reminded me of him. I kept them in a sort of e-altar board for him so I could go back and refresh my mind if I was having trouble seeing him in my imagination. Since, sometimes, it helps to simply - daydream of their appearances. At least for me. Getting more used to their eye colors, their body languages, imagine them speaking to you every now and then to try and have their voice be easier to comprehend, stuff like that.
Don't rush it, I can almost guarantee that you'll see and sense your deities in these ways eventually. However, they know what's best in the end. Seeing deities, feeling them, hearing them, ect - can be quite the energy drainer because of how high frequency they are and whatnot. Even if they lower themselves to some extreme degrees to be able to show themselves to us in these ways. So, if you aren't experiencing it just yet, that's probably because you aren't ready for it. Comprehending deities is a difficult task for anyone at first, and can be a persistent struggle even over months. And that's perfectly fine. Because these are celestial beings of the stars and all that other universe-y stuff, we as humans are conditioned not to believe these astral realm things because of how unlimited it all is. Of how... Ironically unbelievable the experience is.
So, even when you're sensing them, your brain will be like "mm...no" most of the time when you're first getting the hang of it. Out of the want to protect you and whatnot.
Deities will 9/10 times try their darndest to help you comprehend them by coming in appearances of like... TV characters, like I've heard some people see Loki as the Loki from the marvel series. Or, how you see book characters. There's been a few times where Aphroditus has appeared to me as a fanart of Lucien from ACOTAR that I loved and made the way I see him whenever he's present in the book. Their voices just the same. They might sound like a singer you very much enjoy, or like a comfort character of yours. I could go on, but I think you get the point, haha.
I saw Apollon as the Apollo from Blood of Zeus without ever having watched or have had heard of it, I only noticed he was taking that form after I looked up his name on Pinterest, and I just went with it. Same with Dionysus. Point is, let them show themselves to you however your brain allows them. I put so much tremendous pressure on myself to perfectly memorize how my higher self looked or how my deities looked, just to be reminded how their forms are infinite. How - they don't want you to stress over that.
They don't want you to feel less because you cannot experience them in the way another devotee can, because that's them, this is you. And they love you. And they'll meet you where you're at to help you progress and grow.
My motto for this? It'll happen when it happens, and when it does - I know they'll be refreshingly, ravishingly beautiful.
I never liked surprises, but, hey. When your deity pops out with a new look entirely and it takes the breath out of you to see it - you get more accustomed to it over time, haha.
Sorry if I dragged this on, I love questions like these lol. I hope it helped!! Blessed be. 💛🤍💛
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em-harlsnow · 3 days
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part 2 of my tattoo speed write, find part 1 here.
Tattoo date!!
so mickey goes in to get his tattoo with ian. he’s been for a consultation already because believe it or not he doesn’t want someone to do a shoddy job of it.
he’s drawn a cross between a serpent and dragon and shown the person doing it what size he wants and where he wants it.
ian asked him to draw his ‘MM’ tattoo as well so it’s sort of cursive, or at least has some swirly patterns ingrained into it because he doesn’t just want it printed on.
the guy doing it is just covered in tattoos and piercings. mickey thinks they look sort of cool, but the piercings look way too painful for him to ever consider it. the guy sits him down in the chair and starts running through the process, even if they already talked about it in the consultation. Ian’s sitting on a chair next to him, out of the way of the tattoo artist.
“I can see you’ve already got some ink, but i still have to go through everything.” Mickey nods. “So what you want is big, so it’ll take a couple of hours. Just a reminder: it is permanent. It’s not gonna rub out or wash off.” Mickey snorts, looking down at his knuckles and the guy laughs. “Yeah, i know you know that. I’ll draw it out first so you can confirm it’s what you want. But when we actually start just let me know any time you want to take a break. It’s also common for people to faint, so let me know if you feel lightheaded.”
He makes Mickey sign some stuff which he hardly reads because he understands that a tattoo is permanent thank you very much, and he is also familiar with the healing process and the pain.
So the guy starts to draw it out and that only takes like twenty minutes, during which him and ian just have a conversation about the next gallagher family thing. Then the guy asks Mickey to check if it’s okay, and Mickey’s pleased with it.
The tattoo artist (I’ve decided his name is Zyler) leaves the room to get the ink and prepare the needles.
“are u nervous?” Ian asks him, to which mickey rolls his eyes fondly.
“no, copper cock, i’m not nervous.” Except he is a little bit because tattoos still hurt and he’s never gotten one with this much fucking preparation before.
Ian just smiles at him and grabs his hand (on the side not getting tattooed) and mickey sighs but allows him to think he’s helping (which he definitely is)
Zyler returns and starts and yep, that fucking hurts. It’s not too bad after a while, and it’s the shoulder so it’s not close to the bone. he may have been drunk and it may have been a while ago but his knuckles hurt more by miles.
Zyler talks to them, asking about how long they’ve been married. ian answers most of the questions because Mickey’s not one to chit chat with strangers when he’s not being stabbed over and over by said stranger, never mind when he is.
Around half way through, Zyler says they’ll take a 30 minute break, because they’ve been there for like an hour already.
Ian reaches over to see how it is, and Mickey yells out.
“don’t touch it, idiot!”
“I’m not going to touch it, Mick, just let me have a look.”
Mickey twists to show him the progress and Ian smiles, telling him something like ‘looks good’.
Zyler talks to Mickey some more, asking about his current tattoos. Obviously, he’s had to take his shirt off for the procedure because even with sleeveless shirts it’s just easier to take it off entirely. Mickey tells him how he got his knuckles when he was like 14, to which Zyler looks surprised but not entirely shocked. Mickey explains how he designed the one on his forearm and got some unlicensed guy in Mexico to do it for him. He explains how he gave the ‘Ian Galager’ one to himself in prison, but doesn’t elaborate.
Zyler states that the nature of his previous tattoos makes sense considering his clearly high pain tolerance.
“I mean, i’ve been shot twice, so that probably has something to do with it as well.” Mickey laughs.
Zyler looks surprised again, because he may run a tattoo studio so he meets a lot of characters, but this is a lot.
“You’ve been shot twice?”
“Yup - all of ‘em his fault.” Mickey jabs a finger at Ian, which he snorts at.
“They aren’t my fault, they’re your fault. I was just in the vicinity.”
“In the vicinity my ass, Gallagher. Your fault.”
“You were the one who got too cocky and showed off to Kash, then got too cocky again and tried to steal a fuckin’ Grandfather clock, Mick. None of that was my fault.” Ian’s laughing and Zyler laughs too, although he looks somewhat puzzled. “Also - I was the one who got someone to patch up your ass the last time you got shot.”
“Yeah, i’m so fuckin’ grateful for your kitchen table and a grandpa with a pair of pliers”
“Better than your kitchen table with all the guns and knives on it and two dirty fuckin’ forks held by your high brothers.”
Mickey just does a little eye roll, and Zyler looks all the more intrigued as he cleans the equipment to continue.
“You got shot in the ass?” Is the bit he focuses on, too interested to maintain professionalism.
“Yup. All because of him.” Ian just rolls his eyes.
“The first one was in the leg, and both were because of your stealing habits.”
“Stealing habits- I don’t? I don’t have fuckin’ stealing habits, Gallagher. You’re making be sound like a klepto.”
Ian just rolls his eyes and smiles, squeezing his hand has Zyler starts up again.
“So… how long have you been together?” He asks, because all this lore he’s learning doesn’t sound like people who’ve been married for just two years.
“Better part of eleven years.” Ian answers.
“Jesus- how old are you two?”
“I’m 26. So, I was 15 when we first got together and he was 16.”
“Wow, real high school sweethearts.”
Mickey scoffs at the term.
“Yeah, I mean. We went to the same school so technically we’ve known each other since like elementary.”
Zyler raises his eyebrows again.
“But he looked like a dork in elementary so i didn’t go near him.” Mickey adds, voice somewhat strained.
Ian slaps his arm lightly.
When they’re finished, him and ian switch positions. Mickey’s shirt is back on, but he now has a plastic plaster-thing over the new ink. He keeps looking at it, almost touching it, and Ian slaps his hand away in warning not to.
Ian doesn’t even have to ask for Mickey to hold his hand during his tattoo, because he just does it anyway.
“Any meaning behind this one?” Zyler asks as he draws out the patterned ‘MM’ on his wrist.
“His initials.” Ian gestures towards Mickey with his head. “Mikhailo Milkovich.” And Mickey chides him for saying his full name because that wasn’t necessary, Gallagher. “He drew it, too.”
“That’s sweet.” Zyler tells them. “Usually I feel like people who get each others names tattooed aren’t gonna last, but I gotta say I think you guys might be the exception.” Ian beams and Mickey grumbles around a smile.
Ian squeezes Mickey’s hand tight throughout the whole thing, much the same as how Mickey had. He gets a matching plastic wrap and they both get some care-gel thing they need to put on each night as well as a reminder to put more sunscreen on areas with ink.
Ian waves a friendly goodbye to Zyler, and Zyler has a great story to tell his coworker Sasha, who he’s been hoping to ask out soon, when she gets back from her sister’s wedding.
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amimuu · 2 days
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A splurg of questions if thats okay: What does VTA Lamb and Narinder do on a daily basis? What are their sleeping arrangments? Routines? How does Narinder navigate the touchy awkwardness currently? Does Lamb ever ask anything of Narinder outside of being put to rest when all is done? (Is there ever any hesitancy about that still, on either side?)
OHHHHH ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS I SEE
Alr lemme think UHHHHH….this is gonna be a long one brace yourselves
What do they do on a daily basis/their routines?
Well, excluding crusades…
Lamb: basically it goes like, morning sermon, checking on the disciples individually, checking on how they are doing on supplies and stuff like that, and just going around the cult making sure everything is working properly, sometimes sending a follower or two on errands to get more stuff if needed. They normally have a little checklist with them to not forget (which they tend to make the night prior). They also go on walks sometimes, in which Narinder usually tags along (I think I answered an ask about this before but am not sure). They walk in silence 80% of the time, and sometimes they stop by the Lamb’s favorite spot (a tree up a small hill close to the limits of the cult grounds). After this Lamb goes back to their room and does NOT sleep unless they really really need to (which can be up to 6 days without sleep)
Narinder on the other side: wakes up, Morning sermon, checking the protection he set around the cult is still working, cleaning the Lamb’s statue (and leaving offerings, usually flowers), following the Lamb around a bit, checking on the Lambs’ memorial altar (set up by the lamb when they first started crusading. Narinder started taking care of it after they died), and then if it is a silent walk day he just goes and tags along. Sometimes he tries to give gifts to the Lamb, but they are usually rejected or immediately disposed of. Still, doesn’t discourage him. After the walk or if there was no walk at all he goes back to his hut and sleeps. Lemme say that cat sleeps a LOT. Which brings us to the next question
Sleeping arrangements:
It’s basically like this.
Both their sleep schedules are concerning for very different reasons. Lamb doesn’t sleep nearly enough, practically avoiding it like the plague. It was easier when they had the crown cuz sleeping was more of a choice, but now that they are stuck in a semi-mortal body that has semi-mortal needs it’s not as easy as it was. They dread it. Because every time they go and sleep there’s a new nightmare waiting for them. About what? About what not, really. They are haunted. And funnily enough Narinder barely shows up in these dreams, and when he does it’s usually in the form of a memory or a comforting presence. Usually
So yeah avoid sleep at all costs!!
And then there’s Nari who just sleeps an unhealthy amount of time ever since he was freed. The cultists assumed he probably needed big amounts of sleep for some reason and just rolled with it. They were wrong. In fact Narinder doesn’t need to sleep AT ALL, but he enjoys it. He finds his dreams comforting especially cuz a certain someone tends to show up. Before resurrecting the Lamb this was his way to process his grief, but after resurrecting them he is finding it very hard to leave the habit behind and honestly? Why should he. Now,
How does Narinder handle the touchy awkwardness?
Oh boy does he struggle. Lamby here tolerates his presence but they made their point clear. They don’t wanna talk. And Narinder respects that, begrudgingly. He does however, bring them gifts as mentioned before, hoping this can somehow ease things a little between them (This is the way in which he knows to give affection, offerings.), but naturally it is ineffective. He is protective of them too, but mostly from afar.
Does Lamb ever ask anything from Narinder aside from their initial request?
Sometimes, but it’s rare. They do however ask him at one point to please take better care of himself. And other stuff later on in the story. But currently, just the occasional “Please go get this or that” or asking for his company during crusades, mostly cuz that’s both their responsibility.
And so we get to the best one.
Is there any hesitancy about it?
OH BOY IS THERE. A big chunk of the main arc revolves around what they both truly want and have wanted for a long time but their lack of communication kept them from. Narinder straight up hates the idea of having to let Lamb go again. While the Lamb is exhausted and feels betrayed, but a part of them wishes to remain with Narinder for the rest of eternity, so that makes things more complicated
See, they’ll eventually talk this all out but that’s after they actually start crusading and are basically obligated to spend time together. Everything I listed here eventually starts to shift as the story progresses , shifts that include Narinder getting into knitting to avoid sleeping all day, discussions about what ifs, lamb accepting some gifts and eventually asking Nari to please not go where they can’t follow. Fun stuff :]
HOPEFULLY THAT WASNT TOO LONG OF A RAMBLE (who am I kidding it was UHM.) and also hope very much it answered your questions :>!!!
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teecupangel · 2 days
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Hi Teacup, I love the asks and answers. It's a nice treat to read especially when I feel depressed.
So I have been having an idea bug me for a while now and that is Desmond fully going to die, but at the last second two more people join him. He passes out from the ordeal but he sees the Templar Cross. It's not Abestrgo, but Templars of old. The thought is everyone brings back the assassins of old, so why not Templars and make them the good guys. I typically have Haythem Kenway, Shay Cormac, Ulberto, Cesere Borgia, Robert De Sable, and Kjotve the Cruel. I also add in Father Maffei, (he is the monk who was the tutor of the Medic children) and Rodrigo Borgia for flavor. So between Assassins Creed 3 and Valhalla Desmond is just chilling with these Templars just as friends. Oh Edward Kenway is there for added drama. Yes I have added in Daniel Cross and Lucy Stillman but that will be up to you.
Anyway look forward to the shinaginges that unfold.
I’m so happy to know these asks and answers are able to give you a little pick me up whenever you need it <3
I feel like around the time of Black Flag, he’d still be a little wary of his Templar ‘companions’, especially with Cesare Borgia and Uberto Alberti.
Like, Haytham Kenway would probably be the one he finds easiest to talk to because… it’s Haytham Kenway. He might have some choice words for how he acted around Ratonhnhaké:ton but he was familiar and Desmond knew him most of all.
He’d also be chill with Shay Cormac because he doesn’t actually know him via the Animus.
Father Maffei is on his shit list though because he’s the one who led the guards who captured the Auditores.
Surprisingly, he’d be okay with Robert de Sablé for some reason. Maybe it’s a ‘residue’ of Maria Thorpe’s genetic memories, maybe it’s because his actions didn’t affect Altaïr as severe as the others, maybe it’s because he’s quite polite even after learning Desmond was an Assassin.
He wouldn’t see eye to eye with Kjotve as well since he is… well, he enjoyed death and destruction.
It’s only at the end of Black Flag’s storyline that he starts to be okay around them because they’re all dead and the afterlife has a way of soothing the rough edges brought by mortality.
It’s easier to talk to Cross than Lucy though for Desmond because Lucy betrayed him while Cross was just… his enemy from the start.
Sure, he did bad things but that felt more like stories to Desmond since he wasn’t there.
And there was something in the afterlife that made it easy to just… let go of things.
By the time Edward Kenway appeared, Desmond and the others are very chill with each other but they ignore everyone’s past (well… they don’t talk about topics that would remind people while they wanted to kill each other).
Having Edward make things the brittle peace crack in a lot of ways, most especially on the side of the Kenway family drama.
Desmond wouldn’t even be sure if he should be part of any of that since they’re father and son but he will. Since he’s the only Assassin in this little patch of afterlife and he has remnants of Ratonhnhaké:ton’s Bleed, he and Edward would gravitate towards one another.
Edward would be the one questioning why Desmond would be okay with all of them. Sure, some of them, maybe but at least three of the people with them orchestrated the death of Ezio’s father and brothers.
That’s when the doubt would set in…
Did Desmond form bonds with them naturally?
Or was there something in this place that was soothing them to the point of them losing something intricately them?
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leonenjoyer69 · 2 days
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Could you ramble about your au?
👉👈
OF COURSE!! It's probably just gonna be a bunch of random stuff lmao, So! starting off:
Jekyll and Hyde come to find that Elias is surprisingly romantic. Pairing the fact that Jekyll believed that Lanyon wasn't even really capable of romantic love with the fear Lanyon had with falling for anyone or becoming vulnerable, it makes sense that Elias would be all that vulnerability. When Lanyon's out and about shopping, or just strolling by stores, Elias will point out things he thinks Jekyll and/or Hyde would like and will annoy Lanyon into buying it. Eventually, there are things Lanyon will see himself and just get without Elias's pestering.
Sometimes Elias lets Rachel do his hair while they talk (usually when Jekyll is too busy, or when Hyde's already run off for the night.) She enjoys it quite a bit, and it gives Elias the ability to ask her for advice on things (and it lets him eat more of her cookies, but that's not the MAIN reason) it's nice for Lanyon sometimes too, because he can get Elias to ask about things that he's having trouble with with less embarrassment.
Elias actually cares about all the doctory stuff Lanyon learned (and mostly forgot) from University. When around, he acts as a sort of nurse for the Society. He even got a run down on some of the medicinal potions Jekyll and Ito keep stocked so he knows what to use in certain situations.
He strives for approval and any words of affirmation, sometimes going a bit out of his way just to get that jolt of happiness when someone gives him any sort of praise. Elias receiving said praise makes Lanyon quite jealous, since he, of course, wishes it could be directed at him for once. He denies the feeling, but that doesn't stop the growing disdain he feels towards Elias.
Lanyon and Elias lowkey act like rivals most the time. You thought Hyde was annoying towards Jekyll? Well at least they mostly got along for ~2 years. Lanyon and Elias though? half the time they're just trying to one up each other. But! they certainly have their moments where they get along. Lanyon eventually finds that it's easier to be more honest with Elias, and sometimes they do have little heart to hearts, but also these two dramatic bastards do tend to annoy tf out of each other. Elias tends to fluster Lanyon quite often, usually going on about Jekyll and/or Hyde in constant yearning. Eventually Lanyon gets used to it and gets less visibly flustered, mainly because he was sick of all the questions he got.
Sliding in another little Hyde HC I have, Elias likes listening to Hyde play the piano. Like, a lot. He'll sit on the little bench all love struck. Same goes for Jekyll's singing, though usually Lanyon has to coax that out of him (though Elias can with enough pleading, or making him flustered enough)
they'll also occasionally dance! Jekyll and Lanyon tend more towards the usual waltzes, while Hyde and Elias do more swing type stuff (Elias can't keep up super well, but he really enjoys it. Hyde will slow down justt a bit, sometimes) additionally, Jekyll and Elias would also do waltzy type stuff, while Hyde and Lanyon would go slow for a bit until Hyde gets too antsy and pulls more of that playfulness out of Lanyon, going a bit more wild.
Okay! That's all for now, and also I'm so sorry this took so long 💀💀
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mabaris · 2 years
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saw a post talking about bethany and carver and how strange their fanon characterizations are, and tumblr kept messing up and i couldn’t reblog it, so i’m making my own post with what i put in the tags
bethany and carver both hate their lives, even before they come to kirkwall. the difference is that carver blames hawke for it, while bethany blames herself. and i think some of the reason the former gets so much more meta/sympathy/etc is because self-esteem issues are a muddy and uncomfortable thing to talk about, and it’s easier to talk about carver’s issue. he has a scapegoat and a built-in success story: as soon as he strikes out on his own, he’ll be all right
i think bethany is less popular for a lot of reasons. first of all, mage seems to be a disproportionately popular class, so some people would never even meet her. also, she doesn’t make a very strong first impression. a lot of people think she’s bland so they wouldn’t be interested in keeping her in the party and getting to know more about her. because at first glance, she is the mild-mannered polite perfect daughter character. that’s who she has to be, because it averts suspicion from the templars if she follows the rules, sure, but also because it’s how she makes it up to her family for being a mage. they’ve already done so much for her without even asking; how could she possibly inconvenience them any more? she’s a burden just by existing, so she has to do everything she can, be as unobtrusive as possible, to make up for that
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I'm in love with your drawing of Wally and Howdy fighting over the arm. I love how mad Poppy is. Her saying "is2g" gave me the idea that she starts cussing more the longer she has to deal with this bs. And I'm also imagining Frank leaning against Eddie's hat saying "oh Eddie we're really in it now"
10 out of 10 artwork. Good job. No notes.
it has been Well Received it seems! i'm very pleased, i was hoping i wouldn't be the only one who found it funny ahaha
and i couldn't resist:
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13eyond13 · 7 months
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underrated funny thing about lawlight is they never actually did get to confirm that 100% of the time they were basically thinking exactly what the other person thought they were thinking every single time
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said ���girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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wandixx · 6 months
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I made a prompt some time ago and my brain couldn't let it go so I want to write an actual fic about it. But I need your help to do it.
You can find the prompt I'm talking about here. To summarize it quickly because I know it ended up kind of long. Dani was traveling around the USA and met/befriended some people, heroes and villains include. And then she left to see another place. It wouldn't be a problem if before she left, she said goodbye. She didn't so now they she got kidnapped and are panicing.
I have some ideas, some serious chaos I mentioned (about 2500 words and counting) or super serious chaos if things'll go properly, who knows, some Dani hangs out with Duke during his patrols and is low key his sidekick (5500 words and counting, everything on paper because why not?), both in much different places on a timeline, untouched but thought about idea for Dani and Conner clone budding AND one bit for when she met Flashfam and one when she asked Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy for autographs for Jazz and Sam.
But here is a thing. All I know about DC is from dpxdc tag and some fics on AO3. Also from dpxdc of course. So it means I don't know a jack shit about people outside of Batfam.
So, what I'm asking for is, if you have ideas who else Dani could mess with or/and links to fanfics with your favorite characterizations or character analysis here or on AO3, any way of communication you are comfortable with is open, please send it (maybe not in actual mail that would be both creepy and unreasonably expensive)
I can't exactly watch movies/cartoons because I fear my computer wouldn't survive that (I had a moment of black screen two times in the last twenty minutes and three more temporary freezes, how is this thing still running, and how it became my most reliable internet connection device?)
Anyway, send the links I beg you
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gierosajie-art · 3 months
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With the Vessels au you had on the color wheel, is it all gods or just Venti bc hes wind? Also I wanna know how the sharing works <3 Its all very neat
[Color Wheel Challenge]
Aw, thanks! ^ ^
Anyway, all the gods are unable to do anything with their divine presence like, they CAN still manifest and be seen and interact, but their mere presence is quite frankly terrifying. Kinda like biblical angels and stuff
Like, Venti doesn't wanna scare people, or even directly let them know he's there since he wants to keep his promise of distance from their affairs. The way the whole vessels thing works is that a god could manifest in a mortal's body. It's a lot like what Nahida does with projecting her consciousness, except they don't exchange bodies and the owner is still aware (tho the mortal can still lose consciousness sometimes while the god is the one taking the wheel). Most of the time the god is another presence in their head and they can freely switch between each other
Nameless Bard being in the au is a mystery that will never get addressed though
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righteous-pines · 1 month
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Chivetiger joined the clan long ago under the lead of Pinestar, but his life as a loner isn’t even a distant memory now. Though he spends much of his time alone, thinking up dialogues and stories in his head that fill his chest with pounding excitement, he is often the cat others in the clan turn to with their problems, as he always seems to have a hypothetical on how to handle everything. He’s happy to spit out his opinion on the matter, and then be left alone, no other conversation necessary. He can often be found in a shady corner, off to himself, sorting his collection of shiny rocks and mumbling softly to himself in little voices.
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