#it's a nightmare to think about and i can't express just HOW important it is to vehemently oppose letting it fester

[uncanny-tranny]

Medical racism isn't important to address just because it's mean to be racist to patients (I mean, it is mean), but because medical racism kills people. It contributes to systemic suffering of those deemed non-white, and the disinformation that spreads about non-white people.

#politics #racism #racism tw #medical racism tw #i've noticed my modern medical textbooks are trying to be more explicitly includive (objectively good)... #...but i don't think it should stop there. in fact i worry sometimes that people will see broad inclusion... #...as the only goal to achieve when i think more active measures should be taken to address and fix the inherent problems of racism #medical racism isn't the only kind of racism obviously but man... hearing the stories about those who faced it terrify me #it's a nightmare to think about and i can't express just HOW important it is to vehemently oppose letting it fester #something i've noticed because again my textbooks make more of an effort... #...but then i got to a lab and only one of those expensive human models weren't white and like. it's a little thing but it makes me think

[llycaons]

and like....a huge part of wwx’s character/desires even though it rarely comes though in his actual actions (bc he’s driven by things other than what he personally wants) is how deeply he wants to be part of a home and to belong somewhere, and to belong with someone. and this arose naturally due to his childhood but it keeps getting reinforced throughout each tragedy he encounters in the story as well

orphaned at such a young age, naturally he clung to LP and to the family he found there and to the community of people there....and later he threw everything he had into making the BM hospitable and the wens made it more comfortable for him by building him a place that reminded him of his old home...he loves so fiercely and so selflessly and every single family he’s had and every single home he’s had he’s lost to violence and destruction and misfortune and cruelty and he’s been abandoned, relentlessly, again and again and again, left to pick up the pieces and expected to deal with it all alone, rarely with anyone to comfort or reassure him. all this as a teenager/very young adult. all this. the fight that killed jxz was terrible for so many reasons, but one of the smallest details was the most painful - jin ling’s bracelet being destroyed, wwx being told you can never have this, you don’t belong with them. no wonder he was moved to tears when jiang yanli stepped in front of him to defend him to the jins. no wonder he took the estrangement with the jiangs so poorly. no wonder he craves returning to LP long after he believes it to be impossible

and that’s (one of the reasons) why lwj simply standing beside him and vowing to help him postres is so important to him. even if he can’t articulate it, even if he’s too used to solitude not to deny himself it out of habit. there’s a lot of things he wants but this reassurance from lwj satisfied a very deep need he’s had for a long time. to belong with someone, to be supported, to be able to rely on someone else and not do everything alone. something this basic, this foundational to him that he craves even as he reflexively rejects it

I do think he needed that journey at the end of the show but I also think once he’s done with it he’ll never want to be alone for that long again. I think postcanon wwx wants stability. a home. to belong to a place and to a community, and most importantly, to belong with a person, a partner who’s on his side. and I don’t know if that place will be CR but that person will definitely be lwj

#I didn;t know how to end this I started tearing up because I love him so bad and his story hurts so much #he's everything to me <3 #I want him to reconcile w his brother...I want him to spend time with jin ling....I want him to hang out with the wens... #I want him to be a very cherished and fulfilled and well-fed husband and I want him to go home to a place he knows will welcome him #I want him to be protected and defended by the people around him!! and not just lan teenagers!!! #I WANT HIM TO PROCESS HIS TRAUMA INSTEAD OF TRYING TO IGNORE IT!!!! #trying to move past it is great except he won't even dwell on it enough for that to be possible #he could use a little wallowing. maybe he needs to get it out #I feel like he's been unable to grieve for anyone since his parents died bc it wasn't his right or because #other people were more important and had to be prioritized or something #it's a particular cruelty that I don't think any other character is subjected to #I want HIM to be prioritized for once!! I want him to take care of himself and be talen care of!! #I want him to be able to grieve! he has like one scene w jyl but that's IT!!! #I want him to be able to express himself and know he won't be punished for it! I want him not to feel guilty about receiving affection! #<- when I get really into it I start channeling the spirit of lwj. but I can't help it he stresses me out so much and I love him to death #nobody ever sat down and said 'wow the way the jiang parents treated you while send you all away during the attack was really messed up #and its not true it wasn't your fault and you should have been protected' BUT NOBODY WILL. because he won't TELL anyone about it and jc #probably didn't even register since he was in a nightmare of his own #like I know jc and wwx love each other but jc does not have the emotional capacity to be who wwx needs....not even that it's a failing #on jc's part it's just too much of an emotional burden and he's not used to needing to handle it bc wwx lies about it #jc is not. suited for taking care of people to put it lightly. he tries. he does love. but he's...continuously led by his own needs/wants #and he seems to find it difficult to empathize with or prioritize others #and even when he does it's very. rough. agressive. I see glimmers of hope for the future in the final scene. he smiled!!! #but the way he;s been so far #which makes it nightmarishly difficult to maintain or create a relationship w him. even his siblings found it hard/draining #except jyl ig bc shes an ANGEL but if that was my brother. god id be tired all day #cql txp

[annabelle--cane]

this is a difficult thing to have conversations about because it provokes really strong reactions in people for completely valid and understandable reasons, so please feel free to hit da bricks on this post whenever you want, but I do want to try and analyse the jonmartin slaps. we get three across 160, 169, and 172, and a line addressing it in 173, and then it never happens or comes up again. none of them come out of nowhere, and they mostly fly under the radar until 173 because they all broadly fit the "slapping someone out of a trance in an emergency" trope, but each of them slowly decreases in urgency.

the first time, the apocalypse starts up and martin comes back to find a passed out jon, can't wake him by making noise, and strikes him in a panic. this makes sense, this is a man who has entered a supernatural coma before and martin had no idea what was going on, so of course he'd jump to something desperate.

the second time, they're in a burning building, jude arrives while jon is still mid-statement, and when making noise doesn't work martin slaps him out of it. this makes sense, they were there for jude and if jon didn't come back to himself then she likely would have hurt them, though martin knew that her powers against them were limited.

the third time, jon is getting pulled into into a repeating statement instead of coming out on his own like usual, so martin speaks once or twice to try and get his attention, and then slaps him out of it. this... again, it makes sense, jon was getting trapped, but there was no immediate peril like before, martin just got freaked out and wanted to leave quickly. he seems to get that it was harsh because he apologizes for it, but they don't linger at all, martin just starts in on them having to leave immediately.

the last time it's mentioned is when they're on night street, during what is one of their most intense arguments. jon tries to talk about the suffering of the children there for longer than he needs to in order to make a point, martin cuts him off, and he pointedly says, "thank you for not hitting me this time." it never happens or is brought up again.

to our knowledge, jon doesn't say anything about the slapping until 173. he's not a guy who's known for speaking up when things upset him, he was amiably working with daisy within about a week of her trying to kill him, so it makes sense that he would just sit with this comparatively more minor thing. however, I do think it's relevant to note that, at this point in their relationship, martin will sometimes voice his feelings and boundaries (not listening to statements, not consenting to mind reading, worrying when jon expresses discomfort with his body), while jon doesn't. from the couple of times he does talk about his feelings this season, I think that tendency comes a few places: he has a hard time being aware of his emotions at all, he doesn't know how to evaluate his emotions' importance in comparison to others', he assumes his emotions are obvious and thus people already act with full knowledge of them, and the topic is just hard to make himself talk about. from what he says in 173, I think the slaps bothered him the entire time, but he made himself be fine with it until he was upset with martin for unrelated reasons and finally let it out.

as for martin's side, I do not think the slaps came from any kind of suppressed desire to hurt or wield power over jon. we've seen him when he's angry at jon, this isn't how he acts, he gets shouty and indignant but never violent. I'd even go as far as to say he doesn't do it in 173 because he's genuinely upset at jon and the situation they're in, and it would never occur to him to deliberately inflict pain on someone he cares about to assert control over them. the connecting line between all of them is fear from something that he wants jon to help him handle. the apocalypse starts, he is stuck inside one of his worst nightmares, and he's paranoid that the web took control of him. he's someone who is "always following, never leading" (170), and he gets tunnel vision when something scares him and his "leader" isn't there.

jon did need to be pulled out of all three of those situations, and words proved insufficient, and maybe a quick jolt of pain was the only thing that could have worked, but martin doesn't seem to consider what that would feel like from jon's pov. in my experience of relationships, if there's ever an unavoidable emergency where you do actually need to cross a line that you never would otherwise, you talk about it afterwards. you do a debrief where you say "I'm really sorry about that, I didn't see another way, I'll try and be better prepared next time." they do this for problems they have later on (177, 198), but martin doesn't do that here. jon's point-of-view just doesn't seem to occur to him. when jon expresses discomfort, he drops the tactic without a word; later, when he needs to anchor jon in the panopticon, he talks him through it before it can get too far. so, it's not about a lack of care for jon's feelings.

I think it comes down to a few things: a) his occasional tendency to treat people as a means to an ends and not think about their perspective. he's so glued to putting others first most of the time that when he stops, he can't find a middle ground and forgets that other people can have feelings about his actions. b) his problems with conceiving of himself as a person of any importance who is capable of doing anything, especially of doing harm. as a concept, "hurting jon" is the thing he would least like to do in the whole world, it is his nightmare scenario and literally the culminating moment of his tragedy. he finds it almost unthinkable, so the idea that he does it casually when he's scared doesn't cross his mind. one of his central worries at this point is that jon is now so powerful that he no longer needs martin, how could he hurt someone like that? he's not anywhere near a comparable level of importance, it's not like he has his own domain that he's not aware of because jon told him about it and he immediately rejected the information. he's powerless and could never bring himself to hurt the man he loves.

I just. think it's an interesting microcosm of some of the lows of their relationship. once the problem is discovered martin instantly takes the note and doesn't put it on jon to explain himself further or assuage his guilt, they are willing and able to adapt, but it still comes from some of their bedrock flaws. martin doesn't understand that he can hurt people, and jon has such an inflated understanding of his capacity to hurt people that it sabotages his self-worth and his ability to respond to pain and displeasure.

#tma #marina marvels at life

[harrystylesfan2686]

Jealous

Pairing: Rhysand x Reader

Summary:Rhsyand reacts to you giving Helion the attention he wants.

A/N: hehe First ask! I hope you like this!! @dragon-grisha-fae

Dialogue prompts Masterlist

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You were at the High Lords meeting with Rhysand. As a part of the Inner Circle, you are to be there and with the coldest persona as a mask of Night Court. Everyone else puts it on, not letting anyone see their actual personality, but not you. No. You are all happy and talking with everyone, still rude to the people who deserve it, but overall, no.

You feel Rhysand's glare at the back of your head while talking with Helion and ignore it. It's the ending of the meeting, several people have already left but you just couldn't leave without talking to Helion first. He is your actual High Lord after all. You having come from Day Court at his command as his emmesary to Nigh Court 'to straighten the bond between the two courts' as he said.

You were angry him at first, almost throwing a tantrum but refrained for for you dignity. You heard all about the cruelties of Night Court and were scared to go there, not that you would ever admit. You had especially requested to saty at Valaris if you had to, and rejected all the options that included going to the Court of Nightmares, which irritated Rhysand.

When you realized that you rather enjoyed the irritated and unhinged look on Rhysand, you made it your life mission to anger the hel out of him. It's not like he could throw you out, you were a important person.

So now, you go against every order he gives. Doesn't matter if he's your high lord, you'll still disobey him. It's how it's always been between the two of you. You never listen to anything he says and he keeps trying to get you to.

Helion and you laugh loudly at his joke, which gains you looks from the other people surrounding the room. You hear someone clear a throat behind you and turn to look at Rhysand who has a weird expression on his face."As sadden as I am to intrupt you two catching up, I'm afraid we have to go."

"Already, Rhysand?" Helion raises an eyebrow at the two of you and you sigh. Rhysand nods and you stay silent, glaring at him as he and Helion exchange goodbyes.

"Alright, then. Goodbye Y/N." Helion turns to you and you instanty beam at him with the brightest smile as he kisses your cheek. You then follow Rhysand to the rest of your group. You eye him from the conner of your eye because he's glaring ahead at nothing.

You try to think back of any moment that would've happened durning the meeting that upset him but can't think of anything. When you are all back at Velaris, in Rhysand's office, discussing notes of the conversations. You try to add something to the current topic and Rhysand scoffs, saying, "I didn't know you were paying attention while giggling with Helion all day."

You are caught off guard and can't do anything but stare at him in confusion for a second but gather yourself quickly and respond with a smirk, "Why? Are you jealous?"

He scoffs but thankfully stays silent for the rest of the evening. When the inner circle meeting is over and every body leaves except for you and him. You are sorting through some papers when you accidentally knock down the pen stand to the floor.

You sigh and bend to clean the mess you made at the same time you hear Rhysand say under his breath, "For gods' sake, can't you do anything properly." You freeze and wonder if he actually said it. You stand and turn to him,"What's gotten into you?" He doesn't even look at you as he says,"Whatever do you mean."

"You have been scoffing and huffing over day when I haven't even done anything to you." Your brows furrow in anger. He rolls his eyes.

"Rhysand!" You yell when he doesn't say anything.

"What?!" He finally looks at you.

"What is your problem?"

You watch him clench his jaw so hard, you think he'll break. After a minute of you keeping your eyes on one another in anger, he closes his eyes in annoyance and finally says,"You- smiled at him."

You blink.

He sighs again and stands up, taking a step toward you, he says in a lot calmer tone. "You smiled at him. You never smile at me." Your eyes widen in realisation.

"No way. You are actually jealous." You can't control the laugh that comes out of your mouth.

"I am not." His brows furrow in annoyance.

"You know I never thought I'd see the day, when you, the High Lord of Night Court would be jealous of Helion." You are still laughing. Rhysand frowns at you. "Not that I'm saying he isn't attractive, he is. A lot but-"

"Stop it." He snaps.

"Will you admit that you're jealous?" You smirk.

His lips curl up. Both of you breathing heavy, the only thing you can focus on right now is how close the two of you are to one another. How perfect he looks, flushed with anger and eyes dancing over your face. And then before you know it, Your lips are to his.

You don't know who started it, only that he feels oh so good in your arms as your hands roam over his body as if having their own mind. And before you realize what was going on, you're laying naked in his office, limbs tangled with each other and wondering what you'll do now.

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#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #rhysand x reader #rhys #rhys x reader #rhysand #rhysand x you #rhysand x y/n #rhys x you #rhys x y/n

[pr3ttyb0ym2g]

MANAGER ꒰VEES 𝘅 gn! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳꒱ PART 1: Velvette's Favoritism

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ;; Platonic. In which you're the Vees/VVV's very valued manager, a collection. 𝘼/𝙉 ;; I just love their dynamic smm oml. I can't stop myself. Will write SO MUCH more and add onto this collection!!

☆ You applied on a whim, applying for Velvette's social media team, and unexpectedly landed the job. A job you were probably the least qualified for compared to the other applications ☆ And you weren't the only member of Velvette's team of course, there were several others, but as weeks went by, many were fired for either pissing off Velvette or just not living up to her expectations ☆ You kept your job as you never talked back or shit-talked her, doing your workload and pleasing the young overlord ☆ Velvette continued to fire employees overtime, narrowing her attention onto you, one of her now-experienced employees ☆ She came to you more and yet you never scrambled under all the pressure; you remained calm and did your job ☆ Even jobs you never signed up for, like getting her coffee and such. (Those were her assistant's tasks) ☆ Or bat-shit crazy tasks, again, never complaining and just holding back your disgusted expressions ☆ You never noticed, but many other employees began to dislike your presence ☆ Velvette favored you too much now ☆ She began calling you by name and addressing you properly, compared to everyone else, this was a new level ☆ Her other employees were just "somebody", but you were "[name]" ★ "Bloody hell! Somebody get [name] right now!" ☆ Being Velvette's favorite did come with perks and pet names, she called you "darling" more often than anyone else, and treated you with more care than others ★ "Oh lovely, you did just what I asked. Now go rest, kisses darling." ☆ All the attention increased ten fold after her assistant was fired for sleeping with one of Velvette's best selling models, somehow getting an STD and giving Velvette a PR nightmare ☆ You were immediately promoted as her assistant ☆ But becoming her assistant just made your work load much heavier, now you're covering everything she needed you to ☆ Assisting several departments, handling scheduling and shoots of everyone (from the models to Velvette's), guiding the current media staff, and so much more ☆ You followed her like a shadow, you noted everything she said while simultaneously doing every other task that had to be done ☆ Because you did a huge bundle of work and held a great matter of importance, Velvette gave you her phone number as well as access to higher floors of the Vee tower, something extremely personal ☆ But one day you overheard an exchange between Velvette and Valentino, one you realized you shouldn't be listening to, after only trying to speak with your boss about a drop in views

★ "Don't look at [name], Valentino! Don't even think about it." ✦ "What? I didn't do anything yet." ★ "I know what you're thinking, [name] will not become one of your porn stars." ✦ "Shame, they have the body and face for it." ★ "Do not fuck with me. They're one of the only employees I give any shits about." ✦ "Okay, okay amorcito, I understand." ☆ Velvette openly expressed her favoritism with the other Vee, given that they were close ☆ And Valentino was quick to surrender his plan on recruiting you, seeing as Velvette genuinely liked you (more than her favorite models that he ripped up the week prior) ☆ You weren't really sure how to react to that and you never did, pretending you never heard a peep ☆ So you left before you heard any more, not wanting to hear what other unexpected topics would be brought up ☆ Velvette has since never been seen without you ☆ She spoke to you about whatever was on her mind, no longer just asking for something to be done ☆ She would order you to sit with her on some couch and just talk ☆ You felt as though you got indirectly promoted to Velvette's personal therapist ★ "Ugh, and I can't believe that bitch has the nerve to insult my outfit when she's wearing fucking plaid!" ☆ Velvette also wore plaid. ☆ But her defense was: she wasn't dressing like an "old hag", so she could actually pull it off ☆ You sat and listened for endless hours, never taking your eyes off her

☆ Velvette highly appreciated this since Vox and Valentino both had their own jobs they were busy with ★ "But at least you listen to me, don't you [name]?" ☆ You only nodded in agreement, reassuring her

#gn reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #fanfiction #fanfic #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel velvette #vivzieverse #vivziepop #hazbin headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon

[kwnnys]

BEING CHARLES' OLDER SIBLING !

note. charles gives off the biggest little brother vibes and I stand by that. little shithead I love him <3

classic yapper brother x nonverbal sibling relationship. charles loves ranting and babbling about his day to you no matter how busy you are. he'll be tugging at the ends of your clothes while you're washing the dishes, excitingly going off about the most random topics.

has a sixth sense where he immediately knows whenever you're about to leave the house. don't even bother trying to tiptoe out that door. cause the moment your fingers even graze the doorknob, he is sprinting towards you like a madman. practically begging you to let him come with you (doesn't matter where you're going, he'll beg and beg till you have to bring him along otherwise your eardrums might just burst).

he always insists on playing soccer together! though, with his natural skills for the sport and his experience, it isn't hard to guess who the winner is each game. shamelessly ignores you whenever you accuse him of just wanting to beat you. if he covers his ears long enough, you'll shut up and go through another round of painful losses again.

of course, soccer isn't the only thing you guys play. charles is surpringly a big fan of several different board games! and he seems to be pretty good at them, too. uno is one of his personal favorites, partly because it's one of those games where both parties really get fired up.

alas, charles' tremendous luck is something you simply can not beat. he's grinning ear to ear, trying to hold in his giggle before brutally hitting you with a stacked +12. (he can't help but burst out laughing when he sees the way you begrudgingly pick up the cards.) don't be a sore loser now. you'll just have to step up your uno game.

despite his clinginess towards you, charles is still your younger sibling. and as younger siblings do, he doesn't hesitate to snitch and blackmail you to get what he wants.

oh, you recently flunked an important math test? well, you better start emptying your pockets and prepare to swallow your pride. he's more than happy to use your hard earned money to increase his candy stash.

of course, he isn't completely a little brat. he's still somewhat of a child, after all. whenever he's feeling down for whatever reason, he immediately seeks comfort by your side. sitting quietly and resting his head on your shoulder till his energy completely restores.

definitely used to barge into your room and slept there whenever he had nightmares. you can still remember the sight of his sniffling expression as he crawled into your bed and tried to explain his dream in a shaky voice. (he denies it whenever you try and bring it up.)

extremely petty and likes to pick fights over the smallest things with you. oh, did he hear you say you were craving cereal? well, too bad. he's already skipping his way to the pantry with a toothy smirk. why are you looking at him like that? it's not like he purposely made sure to use every last drop of the milk. oh well, maybe next time you'll think twice before 'forgetting' to pick him up from practice.

always ALWAYS tries to call shotgun and whines the whole car trip when he doesn't get it. purposely kicks on the back of your seat till you eventually can't take it anymore and just let him get the damn seat. too bad. charles : 3 you: 0.

#— elys works #charles chevalier #charles x reader #charles chevalier x reader #bllk x reader #bluelock x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk imagines #bluelock imagines #blue lock x you #bllk x you #bllk fluff #bluelock fluff

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 40: The Maestro's Mark

Prev > Masterlist > Next

June 1905

TW: mind control, body control, captivity, human auction, abuse, burning, branding, mouth whump, forced self-harm, dissociation, this one's kind of a doozy isn't it

"Sir -- " Fitz's voice had returned to him, and he was dismayed to find it shaky and weak, much like his knees. Beside him, Miss Lily was gripping his chain so hard he thought she might crumble it to dust. "Sir -- who was -- "

"The Maestro, an old and powerful vampire lord. My sire, and Alexander's sire as well. The one responsible for turning us into vampires," Miss Lily said, picking him up into a princess carry. "I wasn't expecting him to be here. He normally does not purchase his thralls."

"Is he --" Fitz faltered with the amount of questions he wanted to ask, before settling on the most important one. "Is he cruel, sir?"

She hesitated to answer as she carried him backstage and out into the hallway. "...Yes," she finally said. "Yes, he is cruel. I'm sorry."

She sounded like she meant the apology, and Fitz's too-short life flashed before his eyes.

"What should I do, sir?"

"There's nothing you can do now. Nothing you can do but be obedient. Try to find the private places in your mind to retreat to, places where he can't reach. Eat whatever you're offered when you can. Sleep as much as possible. And never be defiant, even for the smallest matter. The price will never be worth it."

"...You seem as though you know what you're talking about, sir."

"I was his thrall, once."

It was a colorful and loud nightmare as Fitz was carried through the bustling hallway filled with vampires and their newly purchased thralls, talking and laughing and showing off their fashions. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that when he would open them, he'd be somewhere else. The lumpy couch in his drafty, shared apartment. His dressing room backstage. Even the opulent prison of his bedroom back at his family's home.

He'd found that unbearably oppressive at the time. Perhaps he'd been a fool to leave, after all.

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a small room primarily occupied by a desk and a few chairs. A vampire in a fashionable black dress, her neck and ears dripping with jewels, entered the room. "Oh my, Lily, your expression is better suited for a funeral. You've sold your little project for an extravagant amount of cash. Whatever could be the problem?"

Miss Lily's face was sour as a lemon. "You know very well how I feel about my sire, Colette."

"His money will spend as good as everyone else's. If you ask me, you were a little too attached to this thrall."

"I don't care one iota about this thrall," she said, her grip tightening on Fitz's shoulders. "I just think that no one, not even a thrall, deserves the displeasure of serving my sire."

"And yet, I assume you'll want your share of the earnings."

"And yet."

The door opened, and Fitz's new owner entered the room. Perhaps it was Fitz's fevered imagination, but even the gas lamps seemed to flicker in response to the foreboding aura. He gave Miss Lily a small nod, and Fitz felt her fingers dig in tighter, painful.

"It's truly an honor to do business with you, Maestro, sir,"  said Miss Colette, settling behind the desk. "Now, then, sir, you'll owe eleven thousand dollars, unless you require any additional services..."

"No, thank you." He was staring at Fitz now, and it felt like icicles sliding down his back. Fitz couldn't help the impulse to look away -- and realized that he couldn't. He was caught hopelessly in the web of power once more.

His master, as soon as the money was handed over. His master forever. There would be no escaping a man like this.

Never be defiant. The price will never be worth it.

Never be himself ever again.

No, he had to snap out of it. There had to be a way out of this. Some way to charm him, to appeal, to get them both on the same side. There had to be. Weaseling out of bad situations was one of his specialties.

The Maestro was reaching into his coat and pulling out a pouch of what looked to be actual golden coins, as if he were some kind of royalty. Miss Colette didn't seem to regard this as strange, taking the coins from the pouch and weighing them on a small scale. Satisfied with the amount, she handed him a contract to sign.

"Now, if the transaction is complete," he said, "please leave so I can discipline my spawn and my thrall."

"Of course, sir." Miss Colette filed out of the room immediately.

Fitz's protests and his screams died in his throat, along with his desperate impulses to flee anywhere. He was under his new master's power again, frozen in time. He'd never escape, of course, but it still hurt to not even be allowed to try first, to be trapped in a treacherous body that wouldn't obey even his smallest commands.

"Lily," he said, approaching her, and Fitz realized that Miss Lily was holding him in front of her as though Fitz could shield her from her sire. "This thrall has an excellent bloodline and potential. Why did you train him improperly and allow him to make an embarrassment of you?"

"He's a performer by nature, sire, as I'm sure you can see," said Miss Lily, and she sounded as subdued and fearful as Fitz was, a far cry from her confident nature when enthralling him. "He is fully trained and obedient. I simply thought it was amusing to allow him to continue to perform, sire. Plenty of vampires would desire a thrall for entertainment. I don't think he's an embarrassment. It took skill to render him obedient while keeping his personality intact."

If Fitz could move, he would be nodding vigorously, appreciative of Miss Lily's defense.

"Yes. Performance is his nature, that much is true just by looking at him. But you need to be in better control of the thralls in your care, not allow them to preen and pose on the auction block." He reached past Fitz to touch Lily's hair, tucking loose strands of her hair into her bun. Fitz could feel her hands tremble. "Oh, child, I worry that I am too lenient on your soft heart. I don't understand what I did to be cursed with two spawn so gifted and yet so foolish."

"Thank you for your patience with us, sire."

"Indeed. And because you do often delight me, I will allow the punishment to be light."

"Yes, sire. Thank you, sire."

"Here. Take my knife." The Maestro held out a silver knife in a white-gloved hand, and Lily let go of Fitz's arm to take it. "You will find an unoccupied bathroom. You will remove your dress so that you do not bloody it. You will cut out your tongue. You will clean yourself and your surroundings thoroughly. You will then put your dress back on and join my other wayward spawn in the parlor."

Fitz's eyes widened at the description of the punishment, the only movement he could manage. He wanted to run. He wanted to scream. He couldn't do either. Miss Lily let go of his arms, and as she exited the room, head bowed low, he had the desperate, irrational impulse to stop her. True to her advice, she showed no sign of defiance, even when her sire was asking her to do the unthinkable -- as a "light" punishment. From the hard look in her eyes, he had no doubt that she was going to do it.

The door clicked shut. And Fitz was alone with his master.

The strange power forced Fitz's head up to look into the Maestro's eyes as he drew near, like a puppet on strings. With a surprisingly gentle touch, a gloved hand reached out and ruffled his hair, then hooked a finger under his chin and inspected his face from each angle. A soft finger traced down his neck and exposed collarbone, but there was no indication from his heavy aura that the vampire wanted to feed. There was no indication of any desire at all. Just control. Pure control.

What could he do to sway a man like this? He recognized his look, the man who was used to being the most powerful in the room, the kind who couldn't spare a scrap of tolerance for anyone else. No humor, no imagination. The kind of person Fitz usually avoided, or brought up on stage only to tease and get a response from the audience. On stage, Fitz held the power.

His new owner was center stage, now, and not one to relinquish the spotlight easily.

"Fitzwilliam de Hastings," said the Maestro in that musical voice. "You will answer my questions honestly. First -- do you fear me?"

Fitz felt his tongue loosen. This, at least, was an easy question. "Yes, Master."

"You are correct to. At least you are not that sort of fool. Now, tell me -- did you wish for my spawn Alexander to purchase you?"

He recalled the pathetic, fleeting hope he'd had when he'd flirted with Mr. Alexander in the showroom. Yes, yes he had, but he suspected that was the wrong answer. What had worked on Mr. Alexander wouldn't work here -- he needed to work a new angle. "I did think that at first, Master, but then you made that impeccable entrance. You're clearly the vampire all other vampires respect -- it's an honor to have been purchased by you."

The Maestro nodded, then removed one of his gloves.

A percussive crack rang through Fitz's ears, and it took his brain a moment to catch up and realize that he had been slapped hard across the face.

"Do not ever lie to me, child, and do not insult me with your cheap flattery. This is your only warning," his master said, in precisely the same tone as before, not betraying anger or disappointment or any emotion at all. "Try again. Did you wish for my spawn Alexander to purchase you?"

"Yes, Master," said Fitz immediately, praying that he wouldn't incur any further punishment. His tongue. He'd ordered Miss Lily to cut out her own tongue. And if his master wanted to do the same to him, there'd be nothing he could do about it, his very body out of his control.The thought of being permanently rendered mute, unable to joke and flirt and tease and perform --

It hadn't settled in before, had it? What it truly meant to be in thrall to a vampire. Between Miss Lily's mesmerism and his own hubris, he'd imagined himself getting out of this by charming the vampire, carving himself a better life through wit and charisma, as he'd always managed. But these vampires were so much more powerful than him and always would be. What good is wit against a creature who can control your body on a whim, or take your mind away with a word?

He couldn't save himself. No one was coming to save him. There was only him and his cruel new master, and he was unable even to express the despair bubbling up within him. A fate so much worse than death, inescapable.

The re-gloved hand stroked Fitz's cheek gently in the place that was still stinging from the slap. "Despite your ill manners, you have potential, Fitzwilliam. My darling Lily saw that in you, no doubt. A born performer with a compelling presence. Sharp minded. And so, so beautiful. A pity about your headstrong nature," he said. "But you needn't concern yourself. I only need to patiently carve away your imperfections. And I am a very patient vampire."

"Thank you, Master," said Fitz, who had never been more frightened of so-called praise in his life.

"More importantly, I believe you are the key to finally breaking my Alexander's will."

"...I don't understand, sir."

"Thralls aren't meant to understand, child. Thralls are meant to obey. And I have decided what young Alexander's lesson will be." He drew his hand away. "I will give you to Alexander."

Fitz couldn't help but furrow his brow, confused. That couldn't be right. 

"It will be a test for him. One that he will fail."

The Maestro pulled a small metal cylinder from his coat. He carefully lifted the glass from the lamp sitting on Miss Colette's desk, beckoning Fitz forward. Fitz felt himself sleepwalking towards his master, even as the Maestro dipped the metal object in the lamp's flame, even as Fitz realized with growing dread what was about to happen.

"He will forget you belong to me. He will desire to possess you, cherish you, perhaps even love you. He will believe he can rescue you from me. He will be incorrect. I will allow him to believe this, then I will take you from him, and I will break you, and suffering will be a teacher to you both."

Fitz's heart pounded.

"Kneel."

His puppeted body gracefully knelt upon the carpet, the crushed red velvet of his dress cushioning his legs, as he looked up in terror.

With a calm, unreadable expression, the Maestro pulled down the neckline of his ball gown and pressed the burning metal to Fitz's flesh, just below his collarbone.

He couldn't scream. He couldn't flinch. He couldn't fight or back away. He couldn't do anything but feel his eyes filling with tears as the white hot pain seared through his body.

Fitz barely even noticed when the brand was pulled away, because the pain hardly lessened. His master was examining his handiwork, and, seemingly satisfied, made Fitz's body stand.

There was no way Fitz could be standing through the shock and the pain, but the puppet strings controlling his every move made it so, forcing him to walk on weak and shaky legs.

"Now show your gratitude for my precious gift."

Fitz's body curtsied low. 

But Fitz's mind, flooded with pain and endorphins and magic, was traveling far away. Away from here, anywhere but here, anything but this. Anything but an inescapable descent into hell.

Prev > Masterlist > Next

Well, wasn't that fun.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @sowhumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot @cinnamoncandycanes @avvail-whumps

#whump #whump writing #vampire #mind control #vampire whumper #branding #rare bookseller #fitz #lily #maestro #colette

[bluehourbucky]

Oooooo yes. Oki it's a bucky/reader

Reader was an asset at the same time as bucky and her orders were to keep him safe at all costs, so even if it ends with her taking a bullet. So they've had an intense relationship and hydra being hydra uses it against both of them.

Fast forward to the snap, she doesn't get dusted and manages to escape hydra. She meets nat who helps with her trigger words. They don't fix her since shuri is gone but ends up tweaking it so she's really only listening to her handler- nat or bucky as that's a default lol.

Come to the blip and her and bucky reunite and he has some lingering winter solider tendencies when it comes to her and being protective af. So Sam being sam notices it and gives bucky shit. He snaps and essentially says that she reminds him of hydra and can't stand her.

So typical angst troupe. She avoids him until they get put on a mission and she gets triggered. So bucky ends up taking care of her. Can be smutty lol. Like any part of this can be used. Doesn't have to be the whole thing lol

a/n: Hope you don't mind I simplified it cus I think I'd need more than one part to write all of this properly!!!

Hope you enjoy reading this I put all of the angst into it 😅😅

Sorry this is so long 😅😅😅

MY FIRST REQUEST EVER!!!!

To forgive

pairing: bucky x exhydrasoldier!reader

summary: tension between you and Bucky is unbearable and when a misson goes wrong apologies are in order

warnings: f word couple of times / angst a lot of it

masterlist

_______________________________________

Sam actually doesn't know how he managed to get stuck with not one but two super soldiers who have a staring problem but this is his reality right now.

Recently you and Bucky have been staying with Sam since you two could not live with each other alone anymore.

Bucky became your roommate after everyone came back after the snap.

At that point you were 5 years free of Hydra and mostly recovered, you had been found by Natasha and she had helped you a lot and so has Steve. Steve already had experience watching his friend struggle with what had Hydra done and his heart ached seeing his friend in you. The same lost and broken expression made him sad.

They did everything they could, Natasha and Steve even bought you to Wakanda but without Shuri the progress was slow but it was still progres.

Steve before leaving talked to both you and Bucky and suggested you two could help each other out since there was no one else who could understand more what you two had lived through.

It had been good in theory but in practice it was not.

Buckys' recovery was way past yours, and it frustrated you, you were angry especially because you still had this need to protect Bucky at all times.

Being Hydras punching bag was not fun, you didn't blame Bucky it wasn't easy for him either but he was so precious to them that they needed someone to protect the most important asset. It wasn't like you were the only one, you just survived the longest. There had been many before you, who had been removed or just killed in a mission to protect The Winter Soldier.

To Bucky, you were just a reminder of the torture he had survived. Some nights neither of you slept because the same nightmares haunted you, and yet you didn't talk to each other.

You both remember very little about each other from your time in Hydra, the pain is the only thing you both remember so clearly.

It had become impossible to stay together the night when Bucky had a nightmare and you had tried to help, it was awful. That night when Bucky woke up he had thought he was back at Hydra because he saw you. He yelled and screamed and even attacked you, telling you to let him go, and you didn't even defend yourself immediately going back to your training with Hydra.

"Protect the asset no matter what. your life is not important, the winter soldier must be saved. Do not hurt the asset or you will be punished."

That night had changed everything. The weak friendship that you've had with Bucky vanished and all you ever did was fight.

"The dishes aren't washed princess."

"Can the Winter Soldier throw out the trash sometimes?

"Does princess need to be reminded to not use all the hot water."

Oh but the missions are the worst for everyone.

Sam started to bring a spray with him whenever you and Bucky even try to speak to each other because sometimes it is so unbearable that it could ruin the mission.

Sometimes against your wish you jump in to protect Bucky, the Hydra training instincts rooted deep inside you.

"You don't have to protect me!"

"I don't have a choice here asshole! If it were up to me I wouldn't care less if something happened to you!"

But when Bucky had jumped from an airplane without a parachute your heart had dropped. And it was not because your instincts had kicked in, you had watched the man you've been protecting many decades jump from an airplane that was like 30000ft in the air!

You put a parachute on you and brought one with you and jumped after him.

"Dumbass you forgot something!" you had yelled over the wind catching up to Bucky.

He'd ignored the parachute you tried to give him and left you to just watch him descend.

You have no idea how he survived but you were pissed off and were ready to kill him yourself.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU JUMP WITHOUT A PARACHUTE!"

"WHY DO YOU CARE IT'S MY PROBLEM IF I JUMP OR NOT!"

"NOT IF YOU ASK ME! I LOST MY LIFE TO PROTECTING YOU AND YOU DO THAT! YOU'RE SO SELFISH!"

You had pushed him hard enough so he stumbled a bit but that's only because he didn't expect it. Bucky had also received a slap to the face which Sam might have enjoyed way too much. It had caused an actual fight between two of you and it took Sam 30 minutes to separate you. By the time you had to fight people you had come to fight in the first place you and Bucky already had battle wounds.

Tonight you're in Madripoor and the plan was that Bucky pretends to be The Winter Soldier, it made you nervous.

Sharon had give you a dress and some flat boots in case you needed to run, Bucky and Sam had received some very nice suits.

When you saw Bucky in a suit your heart flipped at the sight of him. You've never seen him in a suit before and you weren't sure how to feel about it. He looked handsome, it's not the first time you had that thought but usually there was annoyance clouding any other thoughts about Bucky.

When Bucky looked at you as you exited the room you were changing in his brain and heart malfunctioned. He'd never seen you in a dress before, you preferred clothes that covered your body completely - the scars on your body made you feel very insecure - Bucky was the same the more his body is cover the less attention he has on himself.

But God, have you taken his breath away. It isn't like he thinks you're ugly, you're gorgeous, and if you had known each other back when he was himself and before you had been brainwashed to protect him he would've loved to have taken you to a dance. Unfortunately your situation was too complicated and it had made it impossible for you two to have any kind of relationship not only romantic.

Bucky and you have a very awkward moment where you made eye contact and then quickly looked away. The tension in the room grew to a 100 real fast.

"So ugh about the plan." Sam coughs to fix the awkward vibe that has enveloped the room.

While Sam is explaining the plan you and Bucky glance at each other when the other isn't looking and Sam pretends not to notice.

The club is crowded and the atmosphere changes when people start to notice The Winter Soldier.

You're on edge the entire time.

Suddenly a fight begins but all you hear are the trigger words which do not affect Bucky but you're entirely a different story.

As Bucky was about to get punched you had jumped in front of him stopping the hit with your hands. You break the the guys hand and turn around to hit another big guy.

"Get out of here I will take care of this."

"No you won't."

And when you don't Bucky pulls you by your hand and you have no choice but to run with him.

When you finally arrive at a safe destination away from everyone who's trying to kill you Bucky turns to you.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAIT! ARE YOU SO STUPID YOU CAN'T FOLLOW SIMPLE INTRUCTIONS?"

You only stare back at him not even blinking.

"Bucky stop she's not okay can't you see?" Sam puts a hand on Buckys shoulder backing him away from you.

"She fucked up she wasn't supposed to engage."

"Bucky look at her."

That's when Bucky notices that you're not looking at him you're looking at the floor, your hands behind you as if waiting for punishment.

And suddenly it clicks, your trigger words. Some of them were the same as his.

"I'm so sorry. I- I didn't notice I'm so sorry."

You stay in your place not moving an inch.

Bucky tries to touch you and at first you flinch, he doesn't know what to do - he hugs you, surpsing himself.

He stands there his arms tightly around you.

When you finally come back you start sobbing and Buckys heart breaks. He was supposed to know better.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I should've known I should've said it was a bad idea I'm sorry."

You're shaking in his arms and his heart breaks a little more with every whine.

It takes you 45 minutes to stop crying and that's only because you've exhausted yourself with crying.

Bucky carries you to a dodgy motel that him and Sam found. Your limp body in his arms makes him feel incredibly guilty. He feels awful, he'd been awful to you for months and you're right he's been selfish. Bucky can only hope you can forgive him.

You wake up with a headache the light coming through the window indicates that it's for sure not early morning. The sun is gentle and you can tell that sun is about to be gone. To the right of you there's a night stand and to the left is Bucky sleeping on a chair, sitting up.

You notice that you're in Buckys shirt and your pyjama pants.

"Hey."

You turn at Buckys voice.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry about last night I was out of line. I've been out of line for a while. And I'm really sorry I've put you in danger-"

"Bucky..."

"No I need to say this, please."

you nodd.

"There's so much I regret but I regret putting you in danger and giving you shit the most. I've done nothing to make your life easier I've only made it worse. And you were right I was selfish. I was in my head too much and you're the only person who completely understands what I've been through. Last night shouldn't have happened but I was stupid. I hope you can forgive me and I'll do everything in power for the rest of my life to make it up to you."

"Bucky... I-... What happened to us is not fair and we both did stuff we regret, I also wasn't fair to you. I'm not okay. I haven't been a while and last night wasn't your fault. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for calling you The Winter Soldier and for hurting you purposely. And you have nothing to make up for nothing that happend is your fault."

Bucky and you stand in silence for a while each trying to process words and the situation you're in right now.

"Fucking Hydra."

Bucky breaks the ice with that statement and you both laugh.

"Bucky, could I ask you for a favour?"

"Anything."

"I haven't been well for a while and last night only showed how much I need help. I'd like to go to Wakanda so they get me in cryo to fix my brain. Please be there for me when they put me under and when they wake me up."

"I promise."

True to his word Bucky is there when they're preparing you for cryo.

"It's going to be okay. These people are the best they know what they're doing. Besides they had their experiment animal way before you!"

"Oh shut up..... Thank you Bucky. I'll see you when I wake up?"

He smiles and gives you a tender hug full of emotions but mostly love.

"I promise."

The last thing you see are Buckys blue eyes looking at you softly he doesn't let himself cry.

The next time you see Bucky is when your new life begins.

_____________________________________

[THE END]

This is gigantic udhdhdudud I'm not sure If I should've written so much but it was fun?

Likes reblogs and Comments are appreciated <3

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky masterlist #bucky angst #sebastian stan characters #marvel fic #the winter solider x reader #first request

[sabh0]

What's your opinion on the anime? I find it pretty funny, but I can't say that I am not disappointed to see so many scenes missing.

For exemple, I wanted to see Dazai cry laugh at Chuuya's young mistress act, show that it was a joke shared by both of them, rather than one made to us at the expense of Chuuya. They took a genuinely funny moment and made me cringe SO hard for no reason T^T

God i could go on for hours about how Bones ruined this series. I'm obviously thankful we have an anime adaptation but. Well just compare bsd anime to jjk one or smth and yeah.

I will be complaining more under the cut,,

First the overall writing choices:

-Deleting or changing skk scenes to the point im not even shocked when ppl think these two actually somehow hate each other.

-The way they portrayed Sigma. They deleted half of his personality and backstory. And just speedrunned the Sky Casino arc like if seeing that place was giving them nightmares. No wonder he gets mischaracterized now.

-Tachihara's internal conflict about belonging to either Port Mafia or The Hunting Dogs? Bones never heard about it. It's not like IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.

-Akutagawa's whole character in the anime is just 'edgy and angry and bad grr'. In the manga he had some 'kind' or even seelf-reflection moments that were ommited in the anime. Like where he realizes defeating Atsushi didn't satisfy him (ship fight, season 1). Or when he gives files about the orphanage Director to Atsushi and says he won't fight him today because he lost someone impirtant to him. Sskk vs Fukuchi fight?? No scene where Sskk r helping each other walk. Instead we get Akutagwa just pushing Atsushi away. Won't even start on that last smile that looked more like another angry expression.

-THE WAY THEY CHANGED "DAZAI'S ENTRANCE EXAM" INTO SOME CURRENT TIMELINE EPISODES. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE. THIS NOVEL WAS SO GOOD. Showing both Dazai and Kunikida's characters and partnership so well. But no. Let's just??? Put Atsushi there. Let's delete the fact this thing happened 2 years ago. And let's delete everything that was actually important about it, too.

-also some changes in the Dark Era arc. Like. Lord. Dazai is so much more emotional in the novel. His expressions r described so well. But the anime either shows him from the back at those moments (him finding out Oda was almost killed by a sniper in Ango's room) or just deletes/changes the thing (Oda dying. This scene is so emotional in the novel. From the description u can tell Dazai was crying/on the verge of it as Odasaku died. But in the anime he looks calm and then we get a far aeay frame and he just. Gets up and that's it yeah.) They also deleted the scene of him visiting Oda's grave.

-The way they rushed seasons 4 and 5. Just to give us an episode that goes further than the manga and has the shittiest writing ever when it comes to skk's plan revelation (im so angry about this u guys have no idea. I sincerely believe that if this episode never came out, the manga would go differently bc there's no way that Asagiri who wrote things like Stormbringer suddenly thought that some dollar store vampire make up will fool a guy who's centuries old and literally lived next to vampires. But well!! Seems like these two speeches Dazai gave weren't important at all and now we can just forget about them yippiee)

I could definitely mention WAYY more examples of that but this is already long af. Like guys. I know u cant fit everything in an animated show. It takes time to make it and all but. Bro. The character's in the anime r so shallow compared to their original versions.

.

Now onto the artstyle of the anime.

Lord. U know? It was actually pretty in the first 2 seasons. The official arts at the time were also really nice to look at.

No idea what happened later. Why did Bones suddenly decide that those ugly turtle smiles r gonna become the main thing in the character design. Why so many fisheyes. Atp sometimes i look at the official art and i go oh lord even i could fix it. It really feels like they draw some characters ugly on purpose now (Chuuya being the main victim for unknown reasons).

Tho i must say they have their moments even now. Some last episodes of season 5 weren't really bad, especially the Meursault part (love them for animating Dazai and Sigma dancing so well. And for that 101 animation. And maybe for the heartattack they gave me with 109 and Chuuya shooting Dazai so many times.)

.

On some other things, i really like the music! Bsd openings and endings never miss,,,

#sab q&a #tumblr crashed when i was half into writing that and i had to start from the beginning again but it's no longer as detailed bc >:( #my relationship with bones looks like that: i would like to see stormbringer animated but im actually scared of seeing it animated #not because its sad but because there r very high chances that Bones will completely ruin it too #if u want me to talk solely about the manga vs anime skk then yeah just tell me i can do that too muah #sab yapping

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have a rec list of bottom Louis fics where either Louis or Harry has amnesia. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Finding Thoughts | Teen & Up | 6,810 words

"Hi, my name is Louis Tomlinson and I suffer from short term memory loss."

2) Our Love Was Made For Movie Screens. | Not Rated | 8,106 words

Harry wakes up and doesn't know anything about anything and Louis is his omega.

3) Cause I’m Really Not Fine At All | Mature | 13,679 words

Louis Tomlinson, one of the famous members of One Direction, is involved in a car accident that caused him to have amnesia, wiping all the last five years of his life from the memory. The interesting part is he may not remember that he has a girlfriend now, yet his mind seems to think that he has been in a relationship with one of the members, Harry Styles. Harry is baffled and shocked at the situation that's thrown in his face. He finds himself learning how to be a good boyfriend for Louis. It has to be easy.. right?

4) Indestructible | Explicit | 24,243 words

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob. “Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is. “I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him. Louis freezes.

5) The Way This River Runs | Explicit | 27,417 words

Louis is provided a chance to start over. He takes it.

6) Deleted Scenes | Explicit | 33,623 words

Agent Harry Styles was injured on the job a few months back, and gets roped in one last mission before he can retire prematurely: playing house with Louis, a widower who has amnesia. The assignment seems simple at the beginning, but soon enough Harry's twisted in a web of his own making, and can't get out anymore.

7) Just A Pretty Boy | Explicit | 35,614 words

The alpha in front of him wasn’t only tall, but used every inch of his body to look even more threatening. He looked as shocked as Joseph felt, in his eyes he could clearly see horror and anger mixed into an odd and painful mix. It was as if he just watched a ghost or a monster from a nightmare come to life.  “Louis…” he said with a low voice. It wasn’t a question, he was calling Joseph by that name.  The crease between Joseph’s brows deepened. “Who?” Louis and Harry were married until, one day, Louis passed away in a tragic accident. Years later, he is found alive and with a thousand questions plaguing his mind. The most important ones; was his husband involved in his disappearance? And, how long did it take Harry and his best friend to fall in love after his supposed dead?

8) The Things I’d Do To Wake Up Next To You | Mature | 36,109 words

AU. Harry wakes up to a pregnant Louis Tomlinson and a wedding band on his finger.

9) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42,207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

10) Define Me Again | Mature | 54,385 words

He's never felt so frightened in his life before, so fucking terrified for himself. And Louis. He looked down at their hands, which seemed to have been connected throughout the incident. He looked at the ring on Louis' hand, for the nth time that day. His heart hurt so bad now, he was terrified. He wanted to do so many things, he wanted to check on louis, if he- if he- God he couldn't even think about it. "Louis," he tried to whisper, but nothing but air came out from his mouth. "I love you, Harry," whispered a voice. But it was nowhere near him. Visions attacked his mind, rapidly flickering through like one would do the pages of a book. He was terrified. His entire life literally flashed in his mind, vision growing more and more weak and he fought unconsciousness. Memories and the picture of Louis lying unconscious in front of him altered and flickered, so rapidly that he felt dizzy with how fast his mind was whirring. What happens when you die? God he was so, so, so, fucking terrified. All his senses gave out, last thing he felt was Louis' hand in his and then, everything went black.

11) Flash Back To Me | Explicit | 73,068 words | Prequel

Louis narrows his eyes, wanting more than anything to tell Liam to go fuck himself, but he can’t be sure, is the thing. As much as he knows for a fact that he would never date someone like Harry Styles, he has months missing from his memory. And it’s scary to think that, in that time, everything he’s come to know about himself could have changed so drastically.

12) Consequences | Explicit | 78,556 words

Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.

13) Invisible String | Explicit | 84,726 words

Louis swears on his life that that man came out of literal nowhere and he thanks each lucky star for having good breaks in his car. This strange alpha also happens to be the most beautiful being Louis has laid his eyes on. For some unknown reason, the omega feels safe around the alpha. It might seem strange, but you can't always explain why or how things are the way they are. All you can really be sure of is that they happen for a reason. There's a higher power (call it what you want) that knows better and definitely knows more than you do.

14) The Dead Of July | Explicit | 117,446 words

Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#bottom louis #top harry #larry #fic recs #blp fic recs #amnesia

[miyaur]

𝄞 — zhongli (gn!reader) — ❝ two is better than one! ❞

summary: your calm, sensible, and handsome boyfriend wants to take your relationship to the next level, ready for slow intimate moments together, but what would you think if you saw what double digits he had like down under!

a/n: saw a lovely fanart of zhongli, gave me big idea for a fic and i love zhongli so much :)!

warnings: nsfw, mentions of double dick zhongli (LMAO), riding, doggy style(?), dom!zhongli, sub!reader this time, don't know what else, enjoy though!

You and ZHONGLI have been dating for a bit, slowly and surely you both grow more deeply in love than before, Hu Tao mentions how horrifyingly you both looked like a cheesy teen couple in highschool on their first date.

Shopping, or getting some coffins from imported land with you and ZHONGLI is a nightmare, Hu Tao quoted. Both of you often glancing at each other and growing red, then looking away from each other once more, all wanted is for you both to just get the damn coffins into the carriage and back to home sweet home!!

Although this may have ticked Hu Tao off about how cheesy it all was, and as much as it is cheesy, it's nice seeing you, her close friend, finally getting along with your obvious crush for a bit now, aka ZHONGLI.

Finally putting the coffins back into the parlor, and in display, you both finally get "kicked out for being too cheesy", aka Hu Tao saying enjoy your date tonight!

Strolling through the streets of Liyue, small stares at each stall. You both fonally decided on just a small snack at Third Round Knockout to end off the day. ZHONGLI surprisingly paid this time though (must be a special night hmmm?)

Finally crashing down on the bed in ZHONGLI's home. Lying down, so tired from everything (eating and putting a coffin in a stroller and arranging it for display) that happened today. "Beloved, today I would like to.." he clears his throat, "Take our relationship to another level. "-We've been together for quite some time, and we both know we can't spend eternity with each other forever." You sat up looking confused, "So, what's the surprise, sweetheart?" you asked.

He pins you down with his geo-scattered hands onto the bed frame. "I would like to be intimate with you, at least just once, if you would allow it my love?" He said, breathing a bit heavy, not so hard to carry though. "Sure, what could go wrong, right?" You giggled. ZHONGLI's breath slowly getting closer to your neck, biting it, marking you as his.

You moaned slightly, whimpering at the sudden bites, "Mmm, your neck is sensitive isn't it, honey?" he said muffled, but understandable, you nod in a bit of excitement. He bites a bit more and let's go. ZHONGLI lies himself down and lets you hover on top of him. (ok u both are naked at this point dont ask how) You turn your head to see his cock(s) (LMFAO), dripping with precum. "O-oh.. I kinda see you only wanna do this just now.." "You never fail to amuse me, love"

Inserting one of them up your hole, you whine as it struggled to fit. slowly riding him, you both moan out each other's names. hours go by, many rounds have taken place, you both are a mess, he has you hands pinned to the bedframe, fucking you senseless, slowly noticing the belly bulge forming in your stomach. "Feel that, babe? That's the mark. The mark that shows my ownership over you, got it?" Your fucked dumb hazy expression was enough for him, fucking into you more, "s' close again 'li, just a lil' m-more.." you moaned out about to cum for the last time, this time with ZHONGLI.

"Me too, honey. Just- haah.. just wait a little long- haah! longer baby." Hard thrusts went in and out, each getting harsher and faster. Both of you finally came, feeling his hot cum shoot up inside you. savoring this little intimate moments together.

"two is always better than one, no?"

i live and breathe for this man 🥰‼️

#genshin scenarios #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin drabbles #genshin fanfic #genshin impact scenarios #genshin headcanons #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x you #genshin smut #genshin x gn reader #genshin x you #zhongli x reader #zhongli smut #zhongli x you #♪ winter.writes

[vickyvicarious]

seeing ppl go "lol jonathan why are you admitting you found them hot what will mina think of you when she reads it!!!" has me go "*shakes you* you are going against the thesis of the book!!!"

I know some of why is dependent on knowledge of future events, and so people new to Dracula Daily won't be aware of it. But to be honest, Jonathan admitting his attraction to the vampire ladies is so, so important to me. On several different character levels, even outside of the entire book proving over and over again that sharing knowledge is absolutely vital (and is also an expression of deep love/trust/support).

Let's just stick the quote in here for reference:

There was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest some day it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain; but it is the truth.

Firstly - he needs to keep an accurate record. This is his only place to speak freely, his only opportunity to be precise about what he is going through. It is vitally important for him to keep his sanity intact that he be clear and try to remain logical in this diary. We see him fact-checking again and again. We can extrapolate from other statements that he doesn't always mention everything he suspects unless he feels it relevant or possible to prove. For example, repeatedly noting Dracula himself doing things before ever getting around to voicing the theory that the Count has no servants (he collected evidence first, didn't speak his suspicions until they were proven). Or putting the crucifix above his bed and taking the opportunity to sleep elsewhere, thus pointing to feeling unsafe and possibly experiencing bad dreams in his own room (he mentioned what he does about it, but not the feeling on its own or whatever nightmares he may be having). Jonathan works very hard to keep his diary focused on a few things above all: what the Count/ladies are, what everyone does, what Jonathan observes or learns, his actionable plans. He of course expresses his fears and emotions at times in his diary, more than he can out loud, but never going all the way down the rabbithole of fear, hopelessness, etc. He tries to calm himself by sticking to facts (all the harder when something strange is happening), which is in itself a soothing process for him so that's helpful too. His goal is to make this diary useful to himself and to others, if he ever gets the chance to share it. There is a goal here.

And what that means, is that the things Jonathan writes in great detail are things that feel relevant to him. The entire encounter with the vampire ladies was extremely important. It revealed a ton of new information to him, as well as being a truly horrifying and traumatic thing to go through. Jonathan's feelings are as relevant as his observations/actions here, because both are directly affected by the presence of the vampire women. Jonathan can't move. He feels dreamy. He feels attracted to them. He cannot resist and in the moment a large part of him didn't even want to. These are all effects they are causing, at least to some extent. I know mileage can vary a lot on how much of Jonathan's attraction is just coming from him, but honestly, I can't agree with any version that doesn't have a natural attraction at the very least being exacerbated by supernatural vampire abilities somehow. If not caused or called forth by them in the first place. The way he narrates, with so much obvious fear and revulsion mixed in with the desire, makes that clear to me. He sounds like he doesn't fully understand his own feelings at the time, at least where they all came from or why they were so strong. It goes along with all the other symptoms he is experiencing, and the other abilities they demonstrate. And so, to keep his record accurate - it has to go in. He cannot leave it out. It might become very relevant later.

Secondly - Jonathan is honest with Mina, specifically. I love this about their relationship. I don't think it's so much 'I noticed they were attractive' that he fears might hurt her, because Mina isn't particularly shy herself about noticing both women and men as good-looking, and even admiring their looks while on a date with Jonathan (poor Pretty Girl in Piccadilly). He also called local women pretty in his first entry as well (though he did say "except when you got near them" so it felt a bit backhanded to me), so again it's not the noticing that's an issue either way. It's more that he felt actual desire to act on an attraction, or rather for them to act. This is unusual, this is a separate matter from noticing people are hot, this is something that comes much closer to cheating or at least wanting to, and he feels very guilty about it. There's no real sense that he is worried Mina will be angry at him, and there's no sense that he will ever outside of that one moment ever want to act on any attraction he feels for someone other than Mina (or someone Mina also approves of, varying depending on your polycula headcanons). I personally do kind of tend to view Jonathan as some form of demisexual so how much he even tends to feel attraction to other people is often a little wibbly to me, but that's kind of irrelevant for the point of this. We can also set aside the shared language of "kiss" between Jonathan and the vampire ladies, and how this may point to a desire to become available for being drunk from, rather than necessarily sexual desire specifically, even if that's the type of language used. With regards to Mina: he's not worried about being caught, because he is choosing not to hide. He feels bad talking about the attraction because it might hurt her feelings, but he'll admit to it regardless because it's more important to him to be honest with her. Jonathan hates hiding things from Mina. This actually becomes plot-relevant later on. Even when she herself expressly forbids him from telling her stuff, he feels anguished about it and is certain to ensure that records are kept which she can read later. He trusts her completely. Embarrassment, shame, bad behavior, or whatever else - he will still share that with her. The only times he doesn't confide in Mina are when he's trying to repress everything because he thinks he was crazy (and possibly may even have some PTSD-related memory loss as well), or when he and the other men are trying to make sure she isn't exposed to danger (which is wrong in several ways but this post isn't about that so I won't get into it), and of course when she tells him not to. Every single time he feels upset about it. So yeah, he's going to regret that she may feel hurt, but deliberately hiding things from her would be worse.

Thirdly - Jonathan admitting his attraction here is a huge comfort to Mina later on. I truly believe this. I've talked about it before actually, but let me try to rephrase a bit to keep it on the same post. By being open about his own attraction and experience with nearly being drunk from, he provides precedent for Mina's October 3rd trauma. It makes it easier (though obviously still not easy) for her to admit to the same kind of desire:

"I was bewildered, and, strangely enough, I did not want to hinder him. I suppose it is a part of the horrible curse that such is, when his touch is on his victim."

Mina never blamed Jonathan for expressing such thoughts. She wasn't concerned about the issue being another woman when she came to him in the hospital, and when she read his diary she never mentioned any hesitations or misgivings about this scene at all. But even if she had secretly felt upset before (I personally don't see her thinking that way at all, but for the sake of argument), I think that experiencing something similar would make her grateful for Jonathan's candor. In a moment when she's already feeling deeply unclean and complicit, Jonathan's earlier honesty here relieves her from a little bit of the guilt she is feeling. It lets her recognize her own lack of desire to stop Dracula as something he did to her, just like Jonathan experienced with the vampire ladies when he couldn't/didn't want to move away. It's possible even that Mina felt more explicit desire for Dracula's 'red lips to kiss her' but didn't feel comfortable saying quite that much - even if so, again Jonathan's account would be a comfort.

And having that account written down long ago means she has already internalized this. If Jonathan had kept it hidden only to try and ease her mind later, well... first off, Mina too might have kept her reaction hidden out of guilt. And even if she didn't or he told her then, a confession at that time wouldn't mean nearly as much or carry the same kind of weight, I don't think. It would feel like he's making excuses for her, like he didn't trust her enough to tell her earlier, just... bad stuff mixed in, which are all avoided by having Jonathan be truthful from the start.

#dracula daily spoilers #dracula daily #jonathan harker #mina murray #jonmina #anonymous #replies #my meta #sorry anon i feel like you were wanting to talk more about the 'sharing is caring' thesis so to speak #but this is where my thoughts went for now #obviously also though the book demonstrates again and again that concealing the truth (whether well-meant or not) is NOT HELPFUL #that trust is demonstrated via laying oneself emotionally bare and GIVING INFORMATION even when it isn't in your favor #that dracula specifically thrives on confusion and hidden fear and a lack of communication and that the key to his defeat #is to work together. to show love through being open about everything that is happening to you no matter how shameful or scary #to support one another. and to admit when you need support. #sorry i probably shoulda added a readmore. didn't think about it till later

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve sighed as he sat down in the club, a drink in his hand as the women went to go refresh theirs. He couldn't help but smile at Nancy and Robin. He was glad they were friends now. They were the two most important people in his life, and he was glad they were able to be a part of his life at the same time. Nancy was still figuring things out after her dramatic breakup with Jonathan, in which she found out about how he didn't apply to the same college like he had said he wanted to and that he lied about. Of course, she was halfway through yelling at him when she realized that she didn't really care and that she was relieved that they were going to the same college. They both realized that they hadn't really cared for a long time, and there was this weird sort of laughter between them that gave Steve hope. She needed time to figure things out, though, and he was willing to give it to her.

"They are very cute," a woman beside him said.

"Pardon?" Steve asked.

"Your friends. . .how long have they been together?" the woman asked.

"Um. They aren't," Steve said with a confused expression.

At least, he didn't think they were. No, Robin would have told him.

"Are you sure about that?" The woman asked.

Steve watched them. Nancy laughed, and as she did so, she touched her arm. No, Robin definitely would have told him. She tells him everything. She even calls him in the middle of the night to tell him that her period had arrived during the night. Even though she never asks, only calling to complain, he always drops everything to give her the things that she needs. And vice versa. . .well, not a period but a nightmare. She would always answer, and they would talk for hours. No, Robin would have told him. He wasn't sure though, and suddenly, the jealousy he felt whenever he looked at Nancy and Jonathan started to bubble up.

"They aren't," Steve insisted as he turned to face her fully. "The woman on the left is my ex-girlfriend and the other woman is my best friend. . ."

The woman scoffed and gave him such a stink eye that it startled him. Who was she to judge him? They were staring at each other and Steve could feel the bitch rise within him. They didn't even notice when Nancy and Robin started coming back to the table.

"So that means that they're not allowed to date? You know, it's men like you who held back women back for decades, who held lesbians back - " she started to lecture.

"Hey, if you would just let me finish. You don't even know what I was going to say!" Steve exclaimed.

"I know exactly what you were going to say. Because she's YOUR ex-girlfriend and YOUR best friend, they're not allowed to do what makes them happy. Wouldn't want to hurt that frail male ego of yours," she sneered.

"Hey! You're making snap judgments about me, and you don't even know me!" Steve exclaimed.

"All men are alike. . .always telling women what they can and can't do!" She snapped.

"Lady, I don't know who hurt you, but even if it was true, I wouldn't have a problem with them. If they wanted to be together, I would set aside my feelings. . . No matter how much it hurts because I just want to see them happy. That's all I ever wanted for both of them," Steve said, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

"Right, it's so easy to say that. You men with your pretty words. . . Master manipulators," she scoffed. "Don't you men understand that we would be better off without you. They're better off without you."

The last part hit him like a blow to the stomach. It's something he always secretly thinks about the people in his life, and it started at home. . .wouldn't his parents be better off without him? Deep inside, he thought that way too with his new, better family.

"Hey!" Robin shrieked, and Steve jumped, backing up. "Not you, dingus. The bitch right there."

"I'm only trying to help," she scowled.

"The only person you're trying to help is yourself," Robin said. "And I'm not some helpless little princess who needs rescuing. This princess has helped herself on more than one occasion."

"Lesbians like us - " the woman started to say.

"Hmm. Pretty presumptuous of you. How do you know I'm a lesbian? I could be bisexual or pansexual, a term I recently learned about. Hell, I could be a friend supporting a friend. You got it right. I am a lesbian," Robin said and scowled. "And this lesbian doesn't agree with man hating lesbians like you."

"You don't need a man - "

"That's right. I don't need a man. I want a man. I want this man in my life. He is my best friend, my platonic soulmate, and I have enough lady balls to admit that I would be lost without him, just like he would be lost without me," Robin said. "Never in a million years would I be stupid enough to throw it all away by dating his ex-girlfriend."

"Lesbians can do whatever - "

"Within fucking reason. I mean, sure lesbians can rob a bank, but the question is, should they? Morally, I mean. It's not just the rich folk who keep it there. It's the hard-working folk who are trying to make ends meet who keeps it there, too. I mean, sure, if they were desperate enough, but just because you understand it doesn't make it any less wrong. The question is, how desperate are these lesbians? If they're not desperate and they rob the bank. . .they're greedy. . . But if they're desperate. . .well, who knows what the reason is. To sum it up, I'm not desperate, and I'm not looking to rob banks. I'm not going to date someone just because I can. I'm going to date someone because I want to, and I'm going to do it without hurting my best friend because how can I be with someone if it hurts Steve? I would never be happy in that relationship."

"That's just - " and she scowled as she tried to form words.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Did a Robin get your tongue?" She asked. "Just because a lesbian can do something doesn't mean they should. You're capable of murder too. Should you go on a killing spree just because you can? Everyone's choice has a consequence to it, including lesbians. My life is not better off without him, and how dare you come over to him to tell him that? How dare you try and make him feel guilty for existing. . .for having feelings that matter just as much as mine?! Men are a part of our lives, sweetheart. Suck it up and move on. Now, leave before I decide to start talking with my fists."

The woman huffed and stormed off. Steve and Nancy stared at her in shock.

"Wow," Steve said.

"Lesbians like her give lesbians like me a bad name and a bad taste in my mouth," Robin said as she drained her glass. "Ugh. How dare she put her nose where it doesn't belong? She doesn't even know us."

"You know, If you ever decided to - "

"I know, Steve, and that's why I love you so goddamn much. I need another drink," she said and started to sing as she walked away. "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never going to turn around and desert you!"

Nancy plopped down in the seat next to him, her own glass still full.

"She's awesome," Nancy said. "That was amazing."

"Yeah," he said.

"I'm glad you finally have someone who will fight for you, not that you ever really needed, but I'm still glad you have it," Nancy said.

"Yeah, me too," Steve said with a grin.

"You know, I fought for you in the beginning. I really did whenever everyone was trying to tell me who I am and that sleeping with you would be a bad idea. And then Barb died, and maybe it wasn't the bad thing everyone was probably thinking about, but something bad happened, and I couldn't see past that. I tried to fight it, but all I could see was Barb dying. I don't anymore, for the record. I just think I needed some time and perspective to really see how I feel about you. It's always been you, Steve. I know I've probably waited too long, but I want to fight for you too," Nancy said.

Steve smiled, his heart pounding in his chest. He took her hand in his.

"I want to fight for you too," Steve said.

Suddenly, Robin came back to the table and squealed at the sight of their joined hands.

"Hey, didn't we come here with another couple?" Robin asked. "Where are Eddie and Chrissy?"

Suddenly, they burst through the crowd, giggling maniacally. Eddie's shirt was off, and Chrissy's face was smeared with someone else's lipstick.

"I finally kissed a girl!" Chrissy squealed.

"Uh, aren't you two still together?" Steve asked.

"We have a very open relationship, Harrington," Eddie said.

"Where's your shirt?" Nancy asked.

"Sometimes, you don't have all the answers to life figured out. When my shirt is ready to be found, it will be," Eddie said.

"You have no clue where it is, do you?" Robin asked.

"None," Eddie shrugged.

They all laughed, and the bitterness and the excitement from what just happened faded away into the distance. Accepting the fact that men and women are always going to be entwined was proof amongst their tight-knit group. Robin and Steve were more than okay with it. No one was going to split them apart, not even each other.

#stranger things #robin buckley #lesbian robin buckley #steve harrington #robin & steve #platonic stobin #platonic soulmates #platonic with a capital p #nancy wheeler #robin & nancy #platonic ronance #nancy wheeler x steve harrington #stancy #brief appearance of #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #chrissy cunningham #stranger things s4 #chrissy cunningham x eddie munson #stranger things fanfiction

[acourtofthought]

My eyes were bleeding after putting together the above post yesterday, staring at the screen so long, so I didn't add any thoughts to it all.

But that man......

Every single line with Lucien is categorized in one of a few ways.

He's either sarcastic, sassy or witty.

He speaks up in bravery when others can't / won't do it for themselves. There are multiple examples of this in ACOTAR where he tells the Attor to burn in Hell for Tamlin (it literally says "Lucien replied for Tamlin). He spits at the feet of the most powerful High Lord in the history of Prythian and tells him to watch his mouth when he threatens his mother. He stood up to Amarantha on multiple occasions and was punished every single time. He tried to stand up for Feyre even though Tamlin punished him for it.

However, he knows when to keep his mouth shut in order to show respect when it's necessary. Think about it. Tamlin, Rhys, Amarantha, knowing what they had done or could do to him, he still stood his ground and spoke his mind as much as possible.

Yet with Amren, Nesta, Az, and Graysen, he kept his mouth shut. Nesta probably deserved to be told off for the way she treated Lucien around Elain yet he never said anything to her. I'm guessing Lucien suspects something is going on with Az especially because Az can't seem to stop himself from acting moody whenever Lucien's name is mentioned (I doubt he's any better when they're face to face) yet Lucien hasn't called him out. He's never done anything to Graysen even knowing his identity versus Cassian who wants Tomas's name to hunt him down.

He's willing to let go of old prejudices. How quickly, after learning the NC wasn't his enemy, was he going out of his way to make himself useful to the IC? Asking if he might offer advice in the upcoming High Lords meeting, offering to do research, offering to look over the maps, offering to find Vassa.

He's loving to his friends. Even knowing Feyre was hiding something, he still went out of his way to comfort her when he thought she was having a nightmare. Knowing she just destroyed the court that was his home, he still ensured she was warm by giving her his jacket while he was left shivering. He speaks highly of his friend at Dawn Court. He speaks highly of Vassa. He speaks highly of Jurian, expressing gratitude for him. Tamlin abused him yet he's still going out of his way to be there for him, as Tamlin once did for him.

People love trying to spin it as if he's got a thing for Vassa but the truth is, he' just openly expresses affection for those that are important to him. He wasn't blushing over his feelings for Vassa but blushing because Feyre was making it out to be something it wasn't while in front of his mate.

He embodies the "brave, strong, protector / provider" type: he hunts, he fishes, he camps, he rides horses, he can be a warrior when it's necessary, he talks sports with the group. But he's also a distinguished gentlemen: he's well dressed, well spoken, polite, refined, appreciates quality, etc.

And he is intelligent. Feyre is constantly noting how he's always observing, calculating, watching, thinking. Rhys even shows approval for Lucien's plans and ideas. Rhys, the king of schemes, acknowledges Lucien to be clever like a fox. Finally getting his POV is going to be the most exciting thing ever.

He is the son of a powerful mother from Autumn and the son of a High Lord from a different court.

He is nothing but respectful to Elain. He's a bit awkward around her which I find to be adorable because he's so uncertain as to how to approach this female he's so drawn to, who almost makes him lose control every time he's near, and who he's sure doesn't want him because she was in love with another man. He's giving her distance to figure out what she wants while subtly making it known that he's not given up. He brings her beautiful gifts and tries so hard to hide his longing and disappointment though it's evident to anyone looking.

SJM broke the mold with this one.

#pro lucien vanserra #lucien spell cleaver #lucien supremacy #lucien vanserra #high king lucien #pro lucien #acotar characters #sarah j maas #lucienweek2023

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

i guess in the end the thing about katya, to me, is like - there's this kind of obvious straightforward reading of her, right, a cautionary tale about the girl who wanted too much and lost everything, who played her hand too soon and was left holding nothing, all alone. you can read her isolation at the end as a parallel to goncharov's, an expression of the film's warning about what it really means to keep your enemies closer than your friends, and one that lands less satisfyingly than his does because while his storyline feels so deeply engaged with exploring what it means to be a man in this psychologically toxic and physically dangerous subculture of masculinity, hers reads more like a punishment reminiscent of so many sexist stories about ice queens who get their comeuppance. and, like, i get it, especially considering that god knows matteo JWHJ0715's track record on women is uhhhhhhhh.... not great. (has anyone seen hounds in the summer? that movie is like an incredible time capsule of exactly what the fuck susan faludi was talking about in backlash, like pure male neuroses served with an olive. diane keaton is sooooo hot in it though)

something does feel different to me about katya, though. and like yeah part of it is that i'm being generous because i do against all odds (and even with the fucking dinner scene) like this movie. but like - i just have such a hard time believing we're meant to view her as in any way a villain, when she's literally the ONLY person in the entire film who comes close to articulating what the movie is actually about at its core. all of the characters (except maybe poor sofia) have defined themselves around this core lack, this hole inside them where learning to be a person who really sees other people should have gone, this emptiness protected by barbed wire that keeps them trapped. katya's the same, except she's the only one who knows there's something missing. she knows there's something wrong - in her, with gorchanov, in their nightmare world - and like, yeah, she can't articulate it, much less start to imagine a better way, but like, how could she? she's never been given a model for an alternative - she's never even been able to look at how other people might live. (we don't get much about her backstory, but i think the mix of disdain and real sorrow in her voice when she says "that pig" about her father speaks volumes.)

and then it's like, the clock motif, right, this is textbook noir shit barely remix: the hands of fate, the slipping sands. it's always already too late because time is always already running out. (this is like, half of what andrey's entire Deal is imo.) you can't escape destiny; you can't even take the brief respite of forgetting it's there, waiting for you, dragging you down like gravity. but somehow, in this movie that circles back on itself so compulsively it feels at times almost like a song cycling through refrains, in a movie that's about how impossible it is to leave once you've committed to a version of yourself that needs to stay in order to retain coherence - somehow, katya gets out. messily, blusteringly, tragically even. half by accident. with blood on her hands and an ocean of regret that will never wash it out. (i know the bathroom scene is not a lady macbeth reference but... in my heart it is. lmao. katya would totally ask the spirits to unsex her.) but she gets out. and there is ultimately something to me there - the idea that the way out is by knowing you need to get out. that you don't need to know what the road ahead looks like to take the next step forward. that it is a step forward, even if it's not what you wanted or not what you thought. even if you wouldn't have taken it, if you'd known what was coming. but you did, and now you have to live with it, but maybe the important part is that you lived. you're alive, to take another step, and then another.

i keep thinking of that shot of her at the window somewhere late in the movie but not yet near the end, after everything's been set in motion: just katya, watching the city pedestrians below her through the blinds (speaking of classic noir shit). we don't know what she's thinking there, if she's scared or excited, if she's already doubting herself or if she's still sure she can pull this off the way she planned. we're not even in the room with her. she's so isolated in that shot - from the people she knows, from the citizens below, from the viewer watching on the other side of the blinds. but she doesn't look unhappy. she looks calm - almost at peace, if that can be said to apply to anyone in this movie. and, like, obviously she won't be for much longer; things are about to start crumbling, and it's going to hurt. but i like to think that moment of katya watching, waiting, alone and unafraid, suggests that maybe there's a version of herself she can come back to, or forge anew, on the other side of all this. she'll lick her wounds and wonder about what she did wrong, but she'll also pick up the pieces and take another step forward. and like - i just don't think that we have to read that as cold. i think we can just read it as surviving.

#goncharov #again sorry for this i simply CANNOT refuse a bit it's like. a core part of my psychology this is my catnip

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday Rose Lacroix!

Except, don't shout it too loud, birthday girl is sleepy. Let's do the usual birthday analysis and song associations, but be quiet, she wants her sleep.

(Still her birthday in my time zone I win)

-Rose's backstory is revealed in Episode 5 of CH 2. Her family was poor, and to help with the financial situation, Rose started forging artwork. Thanks to her photographic memory and natural talent, she made a lot of money. However, at one point when she was 15, one of her clients left a trail leading back to her, and now she had to pay back ten times as much as she'd made, which was millions of dollars, for her actions. This would have ruined her family, of course.

-However, a philantropic organization named the Spurling Foundation, led by Richard Spurling, offered to pay her fines and clear her charges. The condition for this to happen was that any painting Rose made from that point onward would belong to the Foundation.

-Rose saw herself forced to take the deal, but it haunts her. She's extremely upset about not owning any of her art, of course, and so any time she makes an original painting, she makes sure to then cover it in black paint so as to not make anything for the Spurling Foundation without being asked. She doesn't regret the deal by her own admission, but she's not exactly happy with her life.

-This brings us to one of the main themes of Rose's narrative, which also happens to be one of the main themes of DRDT. The ability (or in this case, inability) to change and let go of the past. Rose is stuck paying back for the mistakes of her past for the foreseeable future. It's even expressed in her character design; her clothes are stained with paint, as her life is stained by the mistakes of her past. Her photographic memory, which allows her to perfectly recall anything she's ever seen to the tiniest detail, is another expression of the inability to let go of the past. The lack of change is also referenced in her secret quote: "In the end, the only thing I can do is watch my wretched life go on."

-Going back to her memory, while Rose has a flawless memory of everything she sees (see: noticing one sixteenth of an inch difference in her height), remembering things other people say isn't easy for her. She even forgot J's name that one time.

-Her memory situation is even referenced in the quote on Mai's page attached to Rose: "She remembers everything that is important to others."

-Speaking of J, according to Recap Foil Theory, J is a narrative foil to Rose. While J was born into wealth, her home life was still so terrible she wants nothing more than to separate herself from it. Meanwhile, Rose was born into poverty but (from what we see at least) loves her family, and while she's not happy with her situation, she seems to have accepted she can't run from her past. That's just the surface level stuff, there is definitely more to analyze there.

-Rose has admitted to having nightmares as a result of her memory, since reality, memory and dream tends to blur together in her mind. It's part of why she chose not to look at the second chapter crime scene.

-She has numeral II (2) in the David MV, connected to the phrase "Ego cogito ego (turbatus) sum".

This is a play on the phrase "I think therefore I am" (Ego cogito ergo sum), a phrase which implies the only thing we can be truly sure of is our own consciousness, which fits the aforementioned "nightmares and reality mixing together" thing.

However, the addition of 'turbatus' changes the meaning to something closer to "I think, therefore I am disturbed", which also fits how horrifying Rose's thoughts can be.

-According to some (read: mine) versions of color theory, she gets the word "world" in the David MV.

Because... you know what just go to the 2:25:03 time stamp of this video I made I am not talking about this fucking MV any more than I have to.

-She can do a pull-up, but only if there's grippy tape on the pull-up bar. She strong :O

-Her birthday (November 29th) falls on Electronic Greetings Day, National Evan Day (???), and among other things, the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People. I know I don't talk much about this kind of stuff in my blogs, but Free Palestine.

Fun facts!

-As per her profile, she likes sleeping and dislikes conversation, though we already kinda knew that.

-She has two moms (Iris and Holly), an older sister (Daisy) and a younger brother (Saffron). Yes they’re all named after flowers.

-Like most DRDT characters, she's American, right-handed, has no confirmed sexuality, and her hair color is natural.

-She smells like paint and chemicals.

-She likes "food that is filling (because she often forgets to eat)." :(

-She prefers wearing clothes which are eccentric and colorful, but not delicate.

-Her favorite ice cream flavor is red velvet.

-Her favorite color is lilac because she likes subdued colors. She doesn't have a least favorite color because they're all useful in the right situations.

Songs!

+Exorcism by CreepP

+Echo by Crusher-P

+Those Who Carried On by Ghost & Pals (fun fact, according to Spotify Wrapped I was part of the 0,1% most frequent listeners of Ghost & Pals, with 6531 minutes of play time. So a normal amount)

+In Iolite by Ghost & Pals (I don'y know if I've mentioned it, but this might be my favorite song ever if you're curious)

+DEATHBODY by Ghost & Pals (or it’s this one. One of the two)

+Marionette by KIRA

+End-World Normopathy by Ghost & Pals

+Two of a Kind by Ghost & Pals (okay I'm seeing why I'm top 0,1% for them lol)

+Dune/Sand Planet by HACHI

+Hyperdontia by Ghost & Pals (Reason: Memories theming go brr)

+The Dream Granter by Vane Lily (if you twist the story a bit it kinda fits with the singer being Spurling)

+Entomologists by Ghost & Pals (vibes)

+Piece of Art by KIRA (vibes and title, the actual lyrics don't have much to do with anything)

And Happy Birthday! A capella please, we don't want to make too much noise. Take care!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #rose lacroix #character birthday #sorry if this one’s shorter than usual