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andersonfilms · 6 months

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SWEET RELIEF (MINORS DNI / EIGHTEEN+)

notes. this request is a beautiful, god send. i've been wanting to write about this, but i've kinda been too scared to bc i wasn't sure if anyone would like it. nonnie, u made my week with this request nd i really hope it doesn't disappoint. i changed it a little bit, but not too much. yeahhhhh, i might be ovulating bc?????? anyways.

content desc. eighteen+, huge mommy!kink, sub!abby, dom!reader, masc coded!reader, tall!reader (coded) my lil shorties can still read it too, reader picks up abby, brief mention of reader working out, oral (abby!r), anal (just spit on), fingering, mentions of strap use, squirting, light degradation.

“you’ve been such a good girl. you deserve a reward, don’t you?” your stunner of a girlfriend was bare in front of you. she’s your personal adonis, every muscle sculpted to perfection. her abs clenching, anticipating what your next move would be. freckles scattered around her body, her pierced nipples were so sensitive from all the teasing, swollen and pink, just the way you liked them. abby’s moans were erratic, shallow breaths as you touched her everywhere except where she needs most.

“baby, please. need you to fuck me…so good. jus’ like you always do. you’re pretty little mouth, yeah? need you to taste me.” abby begged as her she found herself shivering. “i’ve been so good, so so good. i didn’t touch myself the entire two weeks you were gone. i’ll do anything, say anything. i just want you to fuck me.”

“you will, won’t you? my babygirl is so desperate to be fucked? isn’t that right?” you flick her clit with your digit. abby cries out your name, deprived of your touch for two weeks, she savors in every moment.

“god, you’re the only one who can make me come. couldn’t even if i tried without you.” as sweet and sensitive as she appears, intentional hands reach for your belt tugging at it, but you slap abby’s hands away.

“nothing is coming off until i make you cum at least….twice on my tongue. does that sound good, baby?” abby eagerly nods, not wanting to per long this any further.

you’re looking her dead in the eye, before your hands wrap around her thighs and pick her up, surprising your girl in the process.

“have you been working out?” you shrug like it’s nothing. abby leans in softly, her lips pressed against yours. she’s never been more attracted to you than she is right now. her strong legs are wrapped around your waist, clinging on as your throw her on the bed.

you climb onto to the bed with her, grabbing ahold of her hips and rotating her body so abby is sitting on her calves, legs bent, sculpted back facing you. she’s fucking divine, as she sits patiently waiting for your touch to guide her. you drinking in her beauty and for the first time, drowning has never sounded so lovely. pretty girl perfectly still for you. there’s nothing more than you need to fuck her so stupid. her cute eyebrows furrowed whenever you ask her question. abby does it when she tries to focus, but all that happens after is stuttering, maybe a fragment of a sentence, before she’s begging to let her come.

tonight isn’t going to be any different. she knows it as you sit behind her, your legs spread so her frame fits, but she doesn’t lean back. abby knows from experience you’ll punish her if she does.

“baby, i don’t think you’ve ever been this good.” you slowly undo the braid cascading down her back. her hair smiles of pine and lavender. you want to drown yourself in the scent.

abby keeps her hands at her sides, but you can tell she’s struggling. her strong hands are balled into fists, knuckles practically pearly white.

“now, bend over for me and show me your pretty hole, baby. show me what belongs to me.” you slap her ass as you lean on your hands, watching her follow your command.

the arc in her back is sinful as she supports her weight on her hands, her knees pressed against the mattress, her pretty pussy is deliciously wet. you’re itching for a taste, but not until you’ve got her a whimpering, pathetic mess.

you bent over her frame, your clothed body pressed against her exposed one. you whisper in abby’s ear, “does mommy have to show you how it’s done? apparently you’ve forgotten, babygirl.”

you create some space before placing a firm hand on her neck, planting her face first in the plush duvet. your hands trails down her spine, pressing enough so she gets the idea. abby arches her back like she’s a fucking pornstar and god you eat it up. she could turn her strength on you, the two of you know that, but she wants to shut her brain off and get fucked and you’ll happily oblige.

you kick her thighs apart further. abby whines but she doesn’t argue.

“babygirl, that’s what i’m talking about. just stay, just like this.” you slap her ass and she jolts forward, her moan caught by the duvet. your hand smooths over the skin, before slapping her again. “good girl. fuck yeah you are. hmm?”

you spit in her puckered hole, your saliva slides down and flows over her cunt. abby wants to just fuck you, wants to full her pussy on yours, she’s so sweet and you’re being a tease. it’s torture. pure fucking torture, but she just has to patient. you’re always so good to her. she knows she’ll get it eventually after you make her cum, but fuck she’s impatient and she wants it now.

for now, all she can do is beg.

“yes mommy, all yours.” abby manages to get out and you slap her cunt as a reward.

“want me to eat out this pretty cunt out? wanna feel my mouth make a mess of this pussy?” abby cries at your words, hands she loves touching the back of her thighs, inside of them, but never where she’s dripping for you.

“please, please, please. i need it so bad. you have no idea how much i missed you, mommy. couldn’t stop thinking about this.”

“thinking about what? tell me babygirl, don’t spare a single detail. you know how much i love hearing you pretty voice, abs.” you kiss her ass, as she struggles to continue. your teeth biting into her well earned glutes and you love to see the shiver wrack her body as she struggles to collect her thoughts.

“i thought about your fingers, how good they feel inside me. i-i thought about when you fucked me the last time, your cunt rubbing against mine and how good it felt. how i squirted all over you and fuck how you just keep going.” abby moaned, overcome with just the thought. “but i mainly thought about your tongue, your mouth sucking on my clit, fucking my pussy as you talk me through it.”

there it was, the soft sniffles clueing you to the tears streaming down her full cheeks. now, you could fucking ruin her.

your plump lips found home on her pussy, soft flicks of your tongue made purchase on her clit. abby was relieved at the sensation. you flattened your tongue against her vulva, her hips rotating so she was riding your skilled muscle. euphoria, it’s all abby felt. all she wanted to feel was this.

she could cum from this alone, but your middle and ring finger found her entrance easily, no resistance was met as you slide them inside her.

“mommy, you feel so good inside me. ah, yeah, right there. oh god, yes, yes, oh mommy. please don’t stop.”

“stop? is that what you said?”

“no! please…i-i need you to make me cum. please make me cum.”

“you think you deserve it?” you taunted abby, moaning against her pussy as your slurped up her sweet nectar, sending a shockwave through abby’s core.

your fingers are hitting the delicious spot deep in her pussy, and you’re hitting it over and over, not relenting for a moment. your tongue joins the whole with fingers for a moment, dipping in and it’s just enough to send abby reeling. not enough to make her cum, but she’s screaming your name, so loudly you wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbors abby woke up your neighbors.

“tell me how good it feels, babygirl. yeah? maybe then i’ll let you come.” you command her.

“it feels amazing, mommy. i can’t get enough of it. fucking me so good, so perfect. love being your good little slut. let you do whatever, whenever, just please don’t stop. i’m getting so close.”

“yeah, are you going to cum all over my face? on my tongue?” you grab at her clit with your lips, pulling the bud into your mouth, before flicking it over with your tongue. you circle around the pearl, isolating as you suck on it. your fingers picking up the pace brutally.

abby sounds like an angel being drained by a succubus and maybe it’s what you were. your undergarments were ruined as you humping, well nothing, because this is what it did to you. when abby got off, so did you. she’s so close, you know she is.

you pull from her clit, your thumb doing the work for you so you can press against her frame and whisper in her ear, “cum for me babygirl. yeah? that’s right. squirt all over my fingers like i know you can. such a pretty girl, aren’t you? give it to me, baby. cum right now and i’ll ride your face tonight? c’mon angel, give it to me. right now.”

she does. all over your sinful fingers, she squirts and she gushes over over you as you fuck her through. “oh baby, you’re so good. such a perfect babygirl for me.” abby’s hips ride your fingers as her body wants to collapse, but your free hand holds her left hip and supports her weight.

“feels so good, mommy. fuuuckkkkk.” abby tries to not whimper as she feels the aftershocks of her orgasm hit her like a freight train. your fingers leave and she feels empty again, but you shove your fingers in her mouth and she sucks immediately. tasting herself as your hands press against her throat.

“such a pretty baby, aren’t you? jus’ need your holes stuffed and fucked?” you laugh cynically. “now, let me ride that gorgeous face of yours, alright baby? then, i’m going to fuck this pretty pussy with my cock. would you like that babygirl?”

“please mommy.”

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simpleeindulge · 4 months

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An Itch to Scratch🔞

Info: fem/reader x Zoro, MDNI, Mature, implied masturbation, cunnilingus, vaginal intercourse, cock warming, enough plot to get to the point🔞

Context: You and Zoro have the same issue and come to the same conclusion.

The feeling was both unbearable and embarrassing. The unique situation made Y/N wonder if this is how Sanji felt most of the time when Nami gave him the cold shoulder. Why it was worse now, she couldn't guess, but she needed a release.

The two faithful toys Y/N kept clean and ready failed right when she was about to peak. The first toy just took forever, and the second was only half-charged and died right at her peak. Y/N wanted to scream at the loss of sensation and flung her toy at the wall.

"Useless!" She cried as she picked up the broken toy and dumped it in the trash. Y/N then went to the ship's bathing room for a long shower at full power.

This is hell, pure hell, Zoro thought as he scratched his scalp red.

He couldn't explain what was going on with him. His usually trained body was not cooperating with him. 'The Need', as he referred it to himself, had appeared that morning. He dealt with it as usual, like an adult, whenever 'The Need' arrived.

Only this time, it wouldn't go away. Oh, he would get his release, but not even two hours later, 'The Need' would be back, stronger than ever. Zoro couldn't explain it. Not even when he was a teenager did he need to jerk off this much. After jerk-off number three, Zoro ignored the 'The Need' when it appeared an hour later.

Training, just think of it like training. A form of self-discipline.

He then hissed as his hard, throbbing cock rubbed against the fabric of his pants the wrong way as he walked to the bathhouse on the ship. Maybe nearly drowning in a tub of ice water would make this torture stop.

Zoro had just turned a corner when Y/N nearly crashed into him.

"Oh! Sorry," She said, sounding moody.

Zoro noted her wet hair and flushed skin. Worse, he could smell the soap she used mixed with her own scent. Zoro heard himself swallow and covered his face to keep from inhaling more of her alluring amora.

"Are you alright, Zoro?"

"Fine." He replied gruffly.

Y/N sighed and was about to leave when a thought occurred to her. She grabbed Zoro by the opening of his robe and dragged him with her.

“Hey! What-”

Zoro stopped his protest as he studied Y/n's body. She was tense in her back and shoulders as if something was weighing her down. If she had just taken a shower, shouldn't it have gone away?

Maybe she had a problem, he thought, and hoped it would be enough to distract him from his issue if she was planning to tell him. He let Y/n take him to a storage closet and waited for her to talk.

“Do you remember that conversation we had at the bar about four weeks ago?”

Zoro glanced up and hummed as he thought about what she was asking. He made an annoyed sound when the memory wouldn't come to him.

“That's okay, you will in a second. Zoro, I need you to have sex with me.”

His dark eye widened, and just as Y/n said, the conversation came back to him in a flash. It started with Sanji chasing after a busty barmaid and ended with breakfast being late the following day.

Zoro had made some comment that Y/N overheard. Somehow, the pair made a pack to come to each other if they needed relief. But that was supposed to be a joke, right?

The hard cock in his pants didn't care if it was a joke or not and throbbed at the offer.

“Huh?!” Zoro said as his dick screamed at him to shut-up and take Y/n’s offer.

“Look, I wouldn't ask you this if I wasn't desperate. I usually can handle this myself, but my body is being a literal bitch to me right now.” Y/n explained as her cheeks flushed with embarrassed heat.

Zoro's face also flushed since he never expected a trusted crewmate to ask him such a thing.

“What do you mean you can’t handle it?!”

“I mean, I've tried and failed. I need something else! I need…” Y/n cut herself off and looked away.

This was a bad idea. Worse, she pulled Zoro into her issue. She respected the swordsman and trusted him, but this was so inappropriate.

Y/n bit her lip and said to him, “Sorry, forget what I said. It was stupid of me to ask.”

She then moved past him with her eyes lowered to the ground. His hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

“If we do this, we keep it to ourselves. And we don't make a habit of it.”

Y/n's head snapped to Zoro. She was ready to say he didn't need to give in to her request or feel obligated to help when Zoro untied his red sash and dropped his robe. God help her; her mouth practically watered at the bulge in Zoro's pants.

“Oh,” She said dumbly. “Wait, how long-?”

“All day,” Zoro huffed as he crossed his arms. “All fucking day.”

It was her turn to swallow as the air around them suddenly thickened. She wanted to move closer to Zoro and feel for herself how hard his cock was under his pants. Instead, she breathed slowly through her nose and out her parted lips. She needed to think. To evaluate the situation.

What I need, her body and brain said in unison, is to put that cock in my-

"Y/N."

Y/N's eyes flicked back up at Zoro. A smooth smirk played at his lips, and why not? He had something she wanted, and they both knew it. She could understand how it would stroke his pride to see how her breathing had changed and how her eyes darkened with lust.

The fact was, she had something he wanted, and Y/N could see the change in him as well.

“Please, Zoro. Just this one time.” She said in a heated whisper.

Fine, Zoro thought as he moved closer to Y/N. He picked her up and sat her on top of a crate. They could be adults about this and fuck like the crazed animals their instincts wanted them to be. Y/n blinked up at him as he pushed up her skirt and pulled down the lace panties.

I should be embarrassed. I should stop this. I should...

Y/N's mind stopped as Zoro dipped his head down, one hand wrapping around his throbbing cock. As he went down, Y/N simultaneously spread her legs and leaned back, careful not to topple over, but the crate was long enough to accommodate her.

Zoro released a long, appraising breath that made Y/N shiver and close her eyes.

"What a needy woman you are, Y/N. You're already wet." Zoro's voice rumbled.

Y/N cried out as she felt a smooth, wet tongue slide up her folds and flick at her clit. She squirmed on the crate and tried to close her legs as more of a reaction then a rejection.

Zoro slapped his hands on her inner thighs, making Y/N yelp in surprise. Zoro forced her bent legs down in a frog-like position to open her up completely to him.

He grinned up at her.

"I doubt it'll solve your problem, but I want to give this a try."

Y/N's breath stuttered, and then, her head was whipped back as Zoro dug on in. She wondered where he had learned. Her second thought was being grateful she had bathed. The last was purely worshiping her new god, Zoro's tongue.

"Fuck...Oh...fuck...Zoro..."

Zoro chuckled into her as he licked and sucked, added his fingers to throw her off, or when she dared to mention "god" in the mix. He edged her close, to the very fucking edge and then pulled away. The near-angry/desperate scream she made had him laughing and smirking down at her.

"ZORO! THE FUCK!"

"Easy there, pussy cat." He grinned as he moved over her, his cock in hand. "We're doing this together."

Y/N huffed as she panted. Her eyes were blown with lust, and her cheeks flushed as she gave him an impatient look. He chuckled again and rubbed the round head over her clit, then pressed it against her folds.

She hated the needy whimper that left her, but dammit, she needed to come already!

"Zoro...Please..."

The smirk was gone as Zoro felt a bead of sweat running down his near his ear and neck. He wasn't inside her yet, but he knew she would be warm and snug. Just one thrust and things would change between them.

"Y/N, you sure-"

"Yes! Please, god damn you! Hurry up before I dry up and go to Sanji-"

The cook's name was barely out of her mouth when Zoro pulled her closer and bucked his hip. The feeling was painful and delicious as her eyes rolled back and her body arched.

"OH! Fu-"

"You deserved that; I hope you know that."

Y/N laughed and smirked at Zoro, "Yeah, I do. But worth it."

"You brat."

Zoro then did something Y/N didn't expect, he kissed her. She accepted the kiss as her arms and legs went around him. What followed was 20 minutes of mind-blowing rutting.

Zoro wanted longer, but she was too wet and hot for him not to lose it just 6 minutes in! Worse, he had a feeling this wasn't going to be a one-time thing.

He held Y/N's wrist down as he let his world crumble as she squeezed the life out of him as she came. The sweet mewling sounds Y/N made his ego roar as his cock twitched side her.

His sweat-covered forehead rested on the crook of her neck, and he breathed in her sweet-smelling skin. Finally, his body felt satisfied enough not to bother him for a while, and he yawned as he felt ready to nap.

"Did you just yawn?" Y/N giggled as she pushed against him, but his body refused to budge.

"Need to nap," Zoro simply grunted as he wrapped his arms around her soft body.

"Zoro, your cock is still in me."

"Leave it. It's not hurting you."

"That's not the point. Zoro, get-"

Zoro then snored, and Y/n sighed as she wondered how long of a nap he would need before he let her go. She then yawned and prayed that her back wouldn't be sore later as she fell asleep under him, feeling satisfied at last.

#one piece smut #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro x reader #zoro x y/n #zoro roronoa x y/n #roronoa zoro #one piece zoro #zoro roronoa x you #zoro x you #op zoro #one piece fanfiction #op x y/n #one piece x reader #op fanfic #zoro smut

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aegonslawyer · 12 days

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a crimson headache, aching blush;

gif: @barbieaemond (thank you for letting me use it, Liv!)

pair: aegon targaryen / wife!reader

cw: self-indulgent menstrual smut, descriptions of menstrual cycle and symptoms, vaginal fingering, oral sex (f receiving). Aegon being a doting albeit horny husband.

words: 1.4k

The joys of womanhood your mother had called it the very first time you bled. She ensured it wouldn’t be painful nor difficult. After all, her own menses were light.

You were not so lucky.

Though you had delivered a child a year ago, the agony of labor now seemed like a distant dream. Knuckles white, your fingers grasp the chair you lean against as you breathe through the cramps that twist your gut, a stinging pain that reaches your rectum. Your breasts are tender and your belly bloated, you had sent your maids away in hormonal fury.

“My dearest.” Aegon’s voice is smooth as he reaches around you, breathing hot against your ear. You can only muster a hum of acknowledgment as his large hands rub circles on your stomach. “It seems you only get worse.”

“The second day is usually the most troublesome.”

He fell quiet, kissing your hairline. Aegon had never been the most muscular of men, but he’s sturdy and perfectly broad in the shoulders. His chest is warm, your head leaning back against it as he holds you close.

It reminds you of when you were pregnant and he couldn’t keep his hands off your swollen belly.

“I read something this evening.”

“Oh? I didn’t know you could read.”

Aegon, in his good humor, chuckles, the light stubble on his cheeks scratching your exposed neck. “I know, I surprise myself- but enough about my wit. I know just the thing to help you.”

With his hands on your hips, he guides you to the bed with a strong grip. You sigh, arms wrapped around yourself as he bent at the waist; pulling a gaudy tapestry blanket from under your bed, a wedding gift you both rather disliked.

As he laid it down atop the blankets, you sucked your teeth in worry. “It’ll be messy.”

“I will clean up.”

“It has clots, you know.”

“That’s alright.” Aegon smirked playfully, carefully tugging at the ribbon that kept your nightgown clad to your sore body. Your lower half is clad in thick linen to catch your blood, even now as you stand you can feel it slowly excrete from your aching inner walls.

You want to ask if he can smell it the same way you can, the way you’re certain the scent clings to your body despite how much you bathe. His lilac eyes never once dull, the same excited sparkle as always whenever he beds you.

“You are beautiful, even like this.” Aegon softy encouraged, holding your hand as you carefully laid yourself atop the bed. The tapestry itches against your back and thighs, but you doubt it’ll be on your mind for long.

The golden rings on his fingers are cold as he massages your thighs, slowly urging them apart. You nod tentatively as he glanced at you, silent consent shared as he hooked his fingers into your linens and carefully pulled them off as you lifted your hips.

You turn red as you see the still wet stains of blood, you expect him to make one of his awfully timed comments but he never does. Instead, he carefully discarded your undergarments and removed his rings, the gold tinkling as it hit the ceramic bedside bowl he often left his jewelry in of a night.

“Do you want to know what I read?” Aegon asked, his thumb caressing your mound, feeling the course curls of your pubic hairs against his skin. “Apparently it is excellent pain relief for a husband to use his fingers when his wife has her blood.”

He pressed a kiss to your temple as he settled beside you after some awkward shuffling, laying on his side as you laid on your back with your legs spread wide. His warm lips ghost your jawline before suckling at your throat, tiny purple marks forming beneath his teeth as his thumb circled your pearl.

It was not long before heat pooled in your gut at his expert touch, he knew you well by now. His breath is hot as he whispers praises, his fingers finally dipping lower, your cunt slick with blood and wetness offers little resistance as he slowly pushes one of his thick fingers inside you.

You gasp softly, your walls clenching around him instantly. As he slowly moves his wrist, he attempts to mouth your swollen breast, you usually loved it when he suckled at your tit, but not today.

“Not that-”

“Forgive me.” Aegon apologized instantly. He propped himself up on his elbow, gaze wandering all over your figure before focusing on your womanhood. His lips part slightly, brows raised in pure awe even as blood dribbles from inside you, two of his fingers slide in and out with practiced ease.

Your hands curl around the fabric beneath you, it feels strange.

Oftentimes, you felt more heated than usual when your cycles began, but you always saw yourself as unclean, dirty. Your husband touched you with the exact same fervor he always did, even as the scent of it filled his nose and his hand quickly became soaked.

He was right, or rather; what he read was correct. Your cramps unravel, head relaxing against the pillows as you finally feel some relief without the mind clouding medicine of maesters.

“Are you alright?”

“It feels odd.” You admit, tilting your head only to find him already staring at you. “It is not bad, Aegon but I cannot say I’m feeling pleasure.”

“Hm.” Aegon suddenly stopped, withdrawing his digits. You think you had upset him before he crawled between your legs. He stripped off his white shirt, but not his breeches despite the telling bulge within. “Do not feel shy, my sweet wife. I told you, I am not afraid of blood.

Without hesitance, his face dives between your thighs, his hot tongue swirling your clit eagerly as his two fingers return to your pussy, buried deep inside and curling. You have little time to scold him, your back arching and hips bucking against his teasing mouth.

“A- Aegon-!” You moan, his eyes rolling back while your nails dig into his scalp, tugging at his silver locks. His hips hump the bed, whining muffled by your cunt, his free hand squeezing your thighs as your legs wrap around his head.

His mouth leaves your sex with a deep breath, his pale chin and pink lips crimson. “Seven hells, you are divine.”

You barely catch your breath before he smothers himself once again, growling deeply against your sex. Your cramps are long forgotten now, with his large fingers pumping clumsily in and out, his tongue eager despite the taste of blood that fills his throat.

Aegon is happy to be used, your hand in his messy hair guiding his movements greedily, chasing your peak. Your legs quiver as your back arched, unaware of the painful grip you suddenly have on his mane. Your orgasm brings forth ecstacy, momentarily forgetting your woes of being a woman.

And your husband looks as if he personally hunted his own game, mouth smeared red, eyes clouded yet a far too pleased smile on his face. Aegon kissed your thigh, slowly removing his bloodstained, soaked fingers as your pussy clenched around the digits, selfishly wishing you could keep him inside you in every way.

When he sits up, you spot the wet patch on his breeches, his hot seed spilt simply from pleasuring the woman he loves.

“Wait here.” Aegon whispered, retrieving a cloth from your bedside basin of cool water. He wiped his face clean and then his hand, ringing the bell at your bedside to call for the servants.

Whether it's charm or fear, they listen when he claims you had an accident and your blood had leaked through your linens. These people, you do not know their names, they have seen your naked flesh more times than you can count by now.

“A warm bath, rose perhaps- or thyme will do.” He instructed them, hands on your shoulder and arm as he carefully pulled you into a sitting position. “How do you feel, my love? Any pain?”

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “No, I have found relief far greater than that of milk of the poppy.”

The two of you sit in the bath, Aegon rubbing his hands all over your body as he peppered your face and neck with tiny kisses. The hour is late, and you enjoy the quiet solitude against his chest.

#house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfiction #hotd #hotd fanfic #aegon targaryen #aegon targaryen fanfic #aegon targaryen smut #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon targaryen x you #aegon #aegon smut #aegon x reader #aegon x you #tom glynn carney

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 1 year

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Frank, could you tell me a story about that wet ass pussy?

The guy in the next room is crying. I've been on a couch for five hours, waiting for my bladder to relax enough that I can pee. My ass feels like a mushroom. If I could just pee and get out of this chair, maybe then things would feel better. But my body won't let me pee yet, it seems. It was one thing when I woke up at noon, but now it's almost 4:00 PM and there's still no sign of relief.

I try to remember what it felt like before all this happened.

It had to have felt good. Right? Maybe if I think about how it used to be -- the warmth, the wetness, the feeling of being full but not too full -- maybe I'll find some comfort. Some small bit of joy that will make it easier to ignore everything else going wrong.

But instead, as soon as I start imagining myself with an empty bladder again, I begin to scream. So loudly and so violently that tears stream down my face and I pull my knees into my chest, trying to hug them as tightly as possible. The pain helps. In fact, it's the only thing keeping me from ripping off my skin, because right now nothing hurts more than being reminded of how normal people do something that they never even consciously think about doing. How easy their lives are compared to mine.

Maybe I should kill him, or at least knock his eyes. He knows. Everyone does. They know why I haven't left the house since Saturday night. Why I have no friends except for his family, who avoid talking to me whenever we cross paths in the hallway. All they see is that I look different now. They see that I don't seem happy anymore, which makes sense given the circumstances, but it doesn't stop them from acting nervous around me. There may be hope though. This morning when he left for work I heard his mother ask "Where's Dylan?" And she said it twice! She seemed really concerned, and probably upset, which means she cares about him and thinks this whole situation is kinda fucked up. That's encouraging, isn't it? If she cares about her son and thinks he's fucked up, well . . . I guess that means that . . . wait, am I allowed to say anything here? FUCK!!! You gotta tell us where you are! Hello??? Can anyone hear me?? Please help!! Hi!! Is anybody home?? HELLO HELP ME PLEASE LET ME OUT OF THIS ROOM!! NO ONE IS HOME SHE LEFT TWO WEEKS AGO AND NOW MY BLADDER ITCHES SO MUCH IT MAKES MY EYEBALLS GO WHITE AAAAAAARGHHHHHH OH GOD FUCKING SHIT JUST GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE FOR CRYIN- UUGGGHHH FUCK YOU STOP SASSING ME OVER THE INTERCOM I KNOW WHERE TO GET YOUR KEYS AND IF YOU TURN YOUR VOLUME UP ANY MORE I'M GONNA SLAP YOU WITH MY COCK LIKE A ROTTEN MARLIN AND THEN YOU'LL BE GLAD NOT TO BE ABLE TO SEE OR HEAR EVER AGAIN. GIVE ME MY FUCKING KEYS OR

#whoretaglia

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sugarushsuga · 2 years

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In Your Own Words - CH. 18

Genre/Au's: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 8.606

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Cursing; Angry Namjoon; ANGST

Tigering: Mentions of cheating; Fist fight (violence is never the answer); Drinking to cope;

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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You look at the latest issue of Just Facts with a frown. There's the zodiac that should put an end to all that mess. You have no feelings of victory, relief, ecstasy, or anything. All you feel is fear, dread, pure and simple terror. What will Namjoon do when he finds out you had switched the zodiac? What will he say when he realizes that all zodiacs have the same message?

You tried to tell him a few times, but you lost courage and... deep down you hope nothing will change between you. Vanda had said that what's real will resist, and at times you are so sure that Namjoon it's part of your destiny that it hurts.

Like yesterday afternoon. You wanted to avoid Namjoon as much as possible on Friday, at least until you found a way of saying what you had done and why. You owed it to him —and to your guilty conscience. In the late afternoon, the heaviest rain of the year fell, and you ran out of electricity, even though no one left the magazine before six. Some — Natacha, Irene, and Yoongi — killed time playing cards, others — Ella and Youngjae — filing their nails.

So, when the clock struck six o'clock, you ran to the elevator, mad to get to the car before Namjoon and get rid of the copy of TopNews before he remembered that and returned to the subject. The hall of the building was crowded with people wanting to go home.

You didn't even realize you were being followed.

"Y/n!"

You turned on your heel and searched the room. Jimin waved at you, diving into the sea of heads.

"Oh, it can only be a joke!" You muttered. You already have too many problems to have to deal with your ex right then and there.

"I really thought it was you," Jimin said, a little tired after he has passed through to trying to reach you.

“Well, it's no surprise, since you know I work here."

He smiled apologetically. His pale hair is plastered to his forehead, his eyes glued to yours. And that itch you felt whenever you saw him has completely disappeared. For the first time since... There is long time you don't tremble in Jimin's presence.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was passing, then the rain caught me." He eyed your body.

Funny, you didn't have that urge to run your hands through your hair, which was probably bristled from the humidity.

"You look great…" he said, after a close examination. "Wonderful, in fact."

"Jimin, what are you really doing here?" You repeated, annoyed. You needed to get rid of that magazine before Namjoon comes down.

"I just wanted to see you." He shrugged. “Apologizing for Tatiana. I didn't know she was going to invite you to the wedding."

“That was kind of her. Send her my regards. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

You walked back towards the door that led to the parking. Before you could escape, he grabbed you by the arm, spinning you around until you are facing him.

"I miss you, Y/n. This thing that's going on with Tati... I think, I let myself go. I just wanted... I found out she's not the right girl for me. You are. We on match everything, we like the same things, we think the same way..."

“We don't think anything a like. You think it's normal to cheat, and I abhor it." You tried to free yourself from that hand, but he tightened his grip. "Let go of me, Jimin."

"I was wrong, Y/n! But I learned from my mistake. If you say you accept me back, I'll call Tatiana now and cancel all this fucking wedding. You just need to say a word and I'll be yours again. I was always yours."

Dumbfounded, you stared at him like an idiot. You had dreamed of hearing him say that so many times that you had lost count. Now that the thing was finally real, you didn't want to hear it anymore. A little abruptly, he pulled you against his chest. It was to be expected that you'd feel something, for old times’ sake at least, but all you felt was a violent indignation at him touching you like that.

“Jimin, take your hands off me." You struggled under his grip, which was getting harder, more threatening.

“You still love me, Y/n. I know you love me!" He raised his arm in an attempt to touch your face.

“Unless you want to end up in the hospital, you better let the girl go now." Namjoon came out of nowhere and grabbed him by the wrist in a way that made shivers run up your spine.

"Get your hands off me, you crazy!" - Jimin complained, trying to free his wrist from Namjoon's grip and letting go of you. "What's up man? I'm just talking to my girlfriend!"

Namjoon shot me a questioning look.

“Ex-girlfriend,” You hurried on, noticing the tension exuding from every pore of his body. Namjoon looked highly dangerous. And beautiful! He relaxed a little, releasing Jimin with a jerk.

"I'll walk you to the car," Namjoon told you, taking your elbow with delicacy.

"Hey, don't touch her!" Jimin intervened, pushing Namjoon away. "Who do you think you..."

"I'm the guy who's going to break your face if you don't get out of here now and leave Y/n alone!"

Jimin took a step back, frowning at you.

"The doctor...?" And then he measured Namjoon like a boxer does.

"And if I am?" Namjoon gritted his teeth and seemed to grow taller and wider.

Oh shit, why did Jimin have to show up? Why couldn't he just be... mute?

“You're not her type." Jimin crossed his arms.

"You don't know her as well as you think," Namjoon snapped.

“She's not the saint she appears to be."

"I know." Namjoon flashed a wide smile. "And I thank God all the time we're together for that."

Ever since you caught Jimin cheating on you, you had tried to put on that expression of pain and defeat in his face, to no avail. And Namjoon, with half a dozen words, managed to do it. But now it made no difference.

"All right. You can have her." Jimin gave in disdainfully. "She always goes with whoever pays the most."

You are not a violent person. You've never thought you could solve anything thing in a fight—except when it came to Hoseok— but, you know, a girl can change her mind at any time. You advanced on him, only, unfortunately, Namjoon was faster and hit a punch on Jimin's jaw. Off guard, your ex's head lolled back, and he fell awkwardly to the floor. Namjoon was already on to him again, and even though you'd like to see him like that - you know, dangerous, defending you and everything else— you didn't want to get him into trouble. And that's why you stopped him, interposing between the two, and you were only able to keep him in place thanks to Yoongi, who took him by the forearms.

“No, Namjoon,” you pleaded.

“That's enough, Namjoon. The guy already understood,” Yoongi said.

Namjoon gritted his teeth, bulging eyes glued to the guy on the floor. "I'm going to kill this guy, I swear..."

"Okay, okay!" You assured him, trying to calm him down. "I don't care for what he says. Just... take me home. Please, Namjoon, take me home!"

At some cost, he tried to control himself, ceasing to struggle to rid himself of Yoongi, but he looked at Jimin so hard that even you cringed.

"Don't approach her again," he warned.

"Come on, Namjoon. Forget this guy." Yoongi pulled him back, dragging him across the marble floor.

Namjoon eventually gave in and let go of Yoongi.

“Alright, you can let go of me. I'm not going to kill anyone today," he assured him, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

You thanked Yoongi for his help, but you know how journalists are. They always want something in return.

“Fine, doll, but everything has a price. And you know well what I want to know, although after today I don't think there’s, any doubt left. It's all very clear."

"Leave Y/n alone, Yoongi," Namjoon warned.

"And who's asking this, Namjoon? The boss or the lover?" The reporter provoked.

Namjoon let out a long sigh, shook his head, and, catching you by surprise, he clasped your hand. Yoongi's eyes did not miss a single movement.

"It's her boyfriend asking," Namjoon said simply.

Yoongi opened a huge mocking smile and, before he could say something, Namjoon took you to the car. As soon as you settled down, you turned to face him.

"Are you okay?" he muttered, looking worried.

You thought for a moment. Were you fine? Regarding Jimin, yes, but with Namjoon...

“I'm sorry about this mess. I didn't know he was going to show up here. And I'm sorry he thought you were a doctor. The last time we met was at your hotel's restaurant, I had just been stood up and meet his fiancée. I invented an imaginary boyfriend." you shrugged your shoulders embarrassed.

"I imagined." And he smiled a little crookedly.

"You shouldn't have told Yoongi that we're dating."

"Yes, I should. If I don't make it clear what's been going on between us, I'll open up space for another guy to approach you, like this asshole, Jimin, and I don't want it."

He fixed his eyes on yours, with such disconcerting sincerity in them, that all you could do was stare at him dumbly.

"Because?" You asked. The car windows were starting to fog up.

"Because..." He ran his fingers through his slightly damp hair from the rain. “My palms sweat when you arrive, my chest expands, my mouth tingles with longing for yours, for your skin, for your taste... Have you already told me a million times that you don't want to get involved with your boss, let's not mention that you are not in favor of large age differences in a relationship, and I'm seven years older than you. But we can't keep on hiding that we're together," he muttered in a very hoarse sexy voice. You tried to ignore the fact that your insides were twisting. "What happened just now made it clear that I won't be able to pretend that you're not important to me."

A lump formed in your throat. Namjoon was opening up to you, inviting you in, confirming that he's allowing you to be part of his world. And how did you repay? Lying to him, cheating on him, changing the zodiac without explaining anything.

You opened your mouth, willing to tell the truth and face his anger. But he spoke before.

"I'm really looking forward to making this work, Y/n, and I hope you also. We fit into bed in a way that... I've been with other women, and I've never felt what I feel with you. What we have is explosive and sweet at the same time, and I want to go deeper, I want to unravel you, each corner, every thought, dream, disappointment, I want it all."

You wanted too. You wanted all that, but you wanted even more, in a desperate way, what he left out: his love.

And with the realization that Namjoon didn't love you, you backed away, unable to tell the truth to him. Or yourself. So, after you'd spent the night together once more—and the blame was on you.

Namjoon leaves your apartment early the next morning. Yeotan needs to walk a little, and he would take the opportunity to stop by the market to prepare a special dinner. You left soon after, just to run to the corner stall and make sure the horoscope had been exchanged.

And there you are, face down in the magazine, praying that Namjoon won't discover. It's the weekend, you think hopefully. Why the hell would he check if the magazine been published as he had ordered? You mean, he doesn't check all the issues, right? There is a possibility he won't even know. That is, if Ella cooperates.

Besides, if he didn't read the text that undoes the magic, you don't know, maybe the spell remains, at least until he starts to really love you. And then, a while later, you could make him read the message by chance, so that the spell breaks — of course you aren't willing to spend your whole life living in make-believe — but then it would be too late, not even the breaking of the spell would be able to destroy his feelings for you.

Yeah, and maybe pigs lay golden eggs...

You let out a sigh, tossing the magazine onto the couch and sinking your head into the back. Of course, he would find out. Namjoon is anything but silly. What if you want his forgiveness, spell or not, you know you have to tell him everything. And there's always the possibility that you are wrong. You just remembered the way how he had looked at you under the rain of fireworks at his parents’ house to you heart fill with certainty and hope...

The door suddenly opened. Namjoon stomp in. You jumped.

"What a scare, Namjoon!" you say, putting your hand to your chest.

He doesn't bother to apologize. In fact, you don't even know if came to hear you. He's different. A different bad, very bad. There's an icy, furious aura around him, and it spread across the room, leaving your hair standing.

He knows.

"How much did she offer you?" Namjoon asked in a low, monotone voice eyes opaque, pointing a copy of Just Facts in your face.

You take a step back. "She who?"

“Don't play innocent, Y/n. I don't fall for it anymore," he spits, still in that terrifying murmur. "How much did Jessy offer you for you to sabotage my magazine?"

"What?!" You exclaim, surprised. “Neither Jessy nor anyone else has anything to do with what I did."

“Very flattering to know that you think I'm a complete idiot." He showed a smile, but it was cruel, vile... and a little agonized. "That article from TopNews, the girl who exchanges letters. L. Lovari." He hits the back of his hand in the magazine. "Would it be Y/n Lovari?"

You throat closes up.

"You weren't supposed to find out like this," You whisper, pulling away a little more. All that anger made you nauseous.

“Oh, wasn't it?" he yelled, coming towards you with long strides, but stopped a few centimeters away. "And how am I supposed to know that you were sabotaging me, Y/n? Perhaps on the next issue of TopNews? What else did you set up? Did you pass on any important information to her? Were you who gave Jessy the contact details of my journalists? How much did she pay you?"

"Jessy has nothing to do with what I did!" You snap, startled by those wrong conclusions. "I never gave any information to Jessy or anyone else! When I accepted to do the articles as a freelancer, I was still on the phone at Just Facts, I thought I would never have an opportunity and..."

"You're right, you won't have," he cut you off, his glacial eyes were just contempt.

You sigh, exhausted.

“Listen, Namjoon, you got it all wrong. Jessy has nothing to do with what I did in this week's Zodiac. I had..."

"Listen to you, Y/n!" He interrupts you, yelling, walking away. When you try to reach for him. "Nothing, absolutely nothing you say will have any credibility! You're nothing but a treacherous rat that I let in too close. You don't know how sorry I am about that."

"No! Please, Namjoon, just listen to me, okay?" You beg, approaching him hesitantly. “I never meant to harm you. Just the opposite, I wanted to get things right. And I had to change the files for that. I couldn't bear to know that I had messed with so many people's lives and... It wasn't sabotage! I swear!" You are shaking. “But Sabrina was right, Namjoon! what I wrote was happening in the lives of the column's readers. That's why I made this last reading. To undo all the harm, I've caused."

He just stares at you, his revulsion as sharp as a razor. And hurts you a hundred times more.

“The deck has magical powers,” you continue. "You may not believe me. It took me a while to convince myself that the deck has that power but is the truth! It's powerful, it belonged to a famous Romani who always got it right simply because the deck was in charge of making everything, she said true. And I didn't know that! I ruined my friend's life and many other people because of it. Including yours,” You conclude, looking at your own feet. “Alexia dumped you because of what I wrote for her sign."

A loud laughter ripples through the walls of the room.

“So creative and ingenious. I should expect an excuse like that. Given that you wove a web of lies in which I, very stupid, allowed myself to be entangled."

Building up courage, you lift you head to meet his fiery eyes. "Stop saying that! I never did anything to screw you. This has to do with the lives I manipulated. I interfered and changed the fates of hundreds of people, and not always for the better!"

His jaw throbs. “You really think I'm an idiot. And with good reason. I gave you all the reasons to believe this."

"Don't talk like that!" You try to touch his arm, but he recoils, looking disgusted. “Don't do that, Namjoon. I never did anything to harm you. You know that I lo..."

"Don't you dare," he snaps. "Don't you dare say you love me! Never!"

"But I love!" You lift your chin in defiance. He could doubt all the rest, but not what you feel for him. Not that. "I've loved you since my car broke down and you gave me a ride. Since I really met you."

“My God, you don't even blink,” he grumbles contemptuously. "Your lies are so natural that it seems sincere. You have the appearance of an angel, but inside you're ugly and... rotten." His voice cracks. He looks away from just a moment, he balls his hands into fists and clears his throat. When he lifts his eyes at you, you have to take a step back, it is as if thousands of needles pierce you flesh. "Jimin was right. You always stay with who pays more. I hate you for everything you've done. For having deceived me to get where you wanted. I hope it was worth it."

Assessing you from head to toe, you see a spark in his dark eyes. Minuscule of something you aren't quick enough to identify. His voice is morbidly cold when he speaks again.

“Starting today, I want you to stay away from me and my team. I hope I never have to look at you again."

"What?" You gasp.

"You are fired."

At that point, you don't really care about the job, but he is too angry to notice.

"Are you…breaking up with me again?" You ask, and a sob escapes you.

He laughs out loud. A kind of laugh that makes your whole-body twitch. “I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You can't finish something that never existed." He turns and walks out of the room, slamming the door.

But you aren't going to let him walk out of your life like that. You go after him, clumsily descending the steps, tripping over your own feet to try to keep up with him.

"Namjoon, wait!" You try to stop him, holding him by the elbow, but all what you get is a push. "I won't let you out of my life, so, you have to believe me. Where are you going?"

“Anywhere away from your fake crying."

Only when another sob reverberates in your throat you do realize you are crying. But what did he expect? He is leaving thinking horrible things about you. Blinded by tears and staggering with fear, you lose your step in a step, knocking you down the stairs. You just have time to close your eyes and pray, you don't roll down to the lobby. But before you crash in the steps, strong hands hold you, pulling you back.

"Bloody hell, Y/n!" He growls furiously, trapping your body between his and the wall. "What are you trying to do?"

"I-I just want you to listen to me. The deck is magical. I swear! I can prove you. If you let me show you the texts, you'll see that..."

He closes his eyes, shaking his head, his face contorted with anguish.

"Enough!" he begs on a painful groan.

“Please believe me."

You try to hug him, but he takes your wrists, pinning them against the cold wall, while his body hold you in place.

“I bought this deck because I lied to you when I said I understood something zodiac. I even tried to learn how a birth chart works, but I couldn't, so I went to this little shop to look for something easier, because I wanted to go back to reception. Then Vanda showed me the deck and said that it had belonged to a famous Romani who never missed a prediction in all her life. I didn't believe her, but the deck looked a lot simpler than the maps. I used it to create my texts. But everything I write happens for real for those who read. It happened to hundreds of people. You said you read some emails, destined for Liz, you must have noticed that. Happened to Sabrina, with these people, with me. And with you too."

He stares at you, sinking his fingers into your wrists.

“It doesn't make any difference to me if the fucking deck is magic, Y/n. You betrayed me by siding with Jessy. Can't you understand? You... cheated on me!" His voice sounds loud, but it shakes at the end, and for a brief second, he lets that mask of fury slip. There's heartache, agony, and devastation in his eyes. And they are so deep, so exposed, that they bled, as does your heart. "Can you at least once be honest with me?" He asks in a low voice, body still glued to yours.

"I've always been honest with you!"

He huffed in disgust, and you wish you were dead.

"Were you the one who gave Jessy Yoongi's contact?"

You blink. Hot tears roll down your cheeks.

"No! I didn't give her anything other than my article. A single freelance article, Namjoon. And I only did it because I didn't want to be a receptionist forever. You can accuse me of being ambitious if you like, but I've always been loyal to you, even when you didn't deserve it. I didn't betray you. Never could. I changed the horoscopes without saying anything because I was afraid you wouldn't publish them, and I had to put an end to that crap."

His gaze searches your face, lingering on your lips for a second, and you even think he's going to kiss you. He wants to kiss you. You see how his eyes warm and his mouth part. You also see the effort he makes to stay in control. He keeps you immobilized by his fists, his body still crushing yours, so all you have to do is crane your neck and kiss him. Namjoon stiffens as soon as your lips touch, but a second later, he relaxes the fingers on your wrist twitch, his hip presses on yours, his mouth open to yours.

Unexpectedly, he walks away, staggering a few steps until he imposed a certain distance. He watches you with anger, fear, passion, disgust.

"I love you," You whisper, knowing you have lost him.

“I would give anything to believe you right now." He looks at you for what it feels like an entire century. All those conflicting emotions warred

in his face. Eventually, fury and bitterness prevail. "Stay away from my magazine."

With that, he turns his back on you and practically runs the two sets of missing ladders.

You stand there, pressed against the wall, fat tears running down your cheeks. As much as you screamed the truth in big letters, Namjoon have already decided to not believe. He's a journalist, he believes in facts, not in stupid arguments based on Romani magic.

Namjoon will never believe you.

And cut you out of his life forever.

You open one of the kitchen cupboards and finds the bottle of rum Sabrina has saved it for occasions like this.

Sabrina.

You best friend, who is probably somewhere in that exact moment taking a drink too. You wish you could comfort her. Wanting to be comforted by her. You wish you haven't screwed up.

You empty the bottle, and all you know is that you wake up the next day with a headache next to the washing machine. Breaking all etiquette rules pertaining to relationship purposes, you send two text messages to Namjoon. And a dozen of them to Sabrina.

Neither of them answers you.

It's late afternoon, you are trying to get your thoughts in order, convince yourself that things aren't as ugly as they look, that maybe Namjoon needs some time to cool off. He has just heard about the article at TopNews, about the exchange of zodiacs and, apparently, Yoongi is also leaving to join the competitor. You have to admit that the conclusion which he has arrived at is the most plausible. It even seems, from his point of view, that you are working for Jessy. But that means nothing. Life is not always black and white. It is sometimes gray and, very rarely, colored. How it was those few days with Namjoon.

You hear the slamming of door in the apartment opposite echo down the hall. Without think twice, you run over to his house, hair disheveled and clothes crumpled, ready to do anything to make him believe you.

You knock on the door non-stop. Almost falling backwards when it opens.

"I know you don't want to see me, but..."

"And why wouldn't I want to see you, girl?" Taehyung smiles.

"Oh... hi! You guys came back!" You hug him. "How was the trip?"

“Very well, at least until we came home. Beatriz is in the room crying. She just saw what her brother did to Yeotan. Namjoon has no heart."

"Uh… he had to have him shaved like that. It wasn't out of meaningless. Tell Bea that I'm sorry and that I miss you. And... can I talk with Namjoon?"

“He isn't here. He met us at the airport and said he was sorting it out a problem."

"Right." You avert your eyes to Taehyung's mint green sneakers. "As soon as he gets back, can you tell him I really need to talk to him? And what... if he doesn't show up, I'll... blow up his bike with blue paint."

“You'll have to get in line. Bea wants to do the same. But I tell him with the greatest pleasure if I see him."

Shit, where did he go?

The hours pass and nothing from Namjoon. At the beginning of the night, you decide to go down and wait on the sidewalk, in case he isn't intimidated by your threat, but someone knocks on the door before you can leave.

Namjoon!

You heart skip a beat and speeds up so fast you thought it's going to explode with such excitement. Namjoon is there. He will listen to you, and everything will be fine. You open the door in a rush and a shy smile plaster your lips. Your smile trembles.

It isn't him.

However, it's just as good.

You both stared at each other for a full minute without saying anything until...

"I'm sorry!" you say together, throwing yourselves against each other.

Sabrina hugs you around the neck, burying her head in your hair as she steps in, you stand on tiptoes, resting your head on her shoulder.

"I was so cruel to you…" she whimpers.

"Forgive me, Sam. I did not know! Didn't believe I could be messing around with the fate of people."

She shakes her head and straightens up, still holding you by the shoulders.

“Of course, you didn't. You never believed in anything! You are the first tarot reader I know that doesn't believe in mystical forces."

“Maybe is because I'm not really a tarot reader." You pull yourself together to look at your friend's face. The face that you missed so much these last few days.

There are deep dark circles there, and she looks like she had lost weight. "Damn it, Sabrina! You are a horror!"

"Look who's talking!" She laughs. "That zombie face of yours is because of me, or did something else go wrong?"

"You have no idea what a mess I've gotten myself into."

She closes the door, and you walk to the couch together, her arm around your shoulders, yours on her waist. You give her a brief overview of the conversation with Vanda, in the esoteric, about the magic of the Romani deck.

“Gee, it's amazing… and dangerous. But I was an idiot when I told you that bunch of bullshit. I forgot that your brother was in the hospital and that you didn't even realize what you wrote. I was so upset when I found out that Seokjin had a fiancée that I took all my anger out on you. You and I always take it out on the people we love."

“I was so worried about you! I wanted so much to be around for you to drown on chocolate..."

She lets out a long breath. "I'm fine, as far as possible."

So, Sabrina tells you about her last days. Seokjin had the audacity of calling her every two hours, into the night. She stayed with her sister, who

not only had allowed her to get royally drunk like she deserved, but she also insisted on you being innocent. Sabrina had gone to work all these days, as it was the only time she didn't want to die. Or kill someone. And you know exactly how she was feeling.

"I missed you so much!" She leans her head against yours. "I can live knowing that I was involved with an asshole but staying away from my best friend can't. Sorry for everything I said, Y/n. It was just lip service."

"If you hadn't said all that, I might still be manipulating the lives of people I don't even know."

"Aren't you going to write the zodiac anymore?"

You sat down lightly.

"Thanks to you. And... to Alexia."

"Which Alexia?" She releases you, her voice rising a few octaves.

"How many do we know?" You moan, running your hand over your face.

Is Namjoon with her now?

"Y/n! I do not believe this! I'm gone for a few days, and you make a fool of yourself like that? Why the hell did you go talk to Alexia?"

"I did not go. It was by chance..."

You open your mouth and let it all out. From lunch with Jessy and Alexia, to the scene with Namjoon in that same room. Your telling is biased, you are not sure if you tell all the details.

"Fuck!" She clicks her tongue. “But I can understand Namjoon. Not everything is lost. He's crazy about you. I bet if he hears you for real, he will understand that you never betrayed him, and everything will go back to the way it was before."

Everything will go back to what it was before.

That's when you realize. Only then do you understand what has happened.

Namjoon treating you coldly again. Sabrina back like she never had been absent. Taehyung and Bea at home again.

The article worked. The spell broke.

Namjoon isn't on your destiny after all.

Everything returned to what it was before.

Well... almost. You still love Namjoon. The feeling that burns in you did not disappear as if by magic, but apparently his did.

You didn't see him that fateful weekend, he didn't come back to his sister's place, and you wondered where he was. In a hotel? In Alexia's bed? You didn't know how the end of the spell had affected him, but you suspected it wouldn't take a long time for him and the model to settle down, and that's what is killing you. To think that in a matter of hours he could forget you, as if he was forgetting to water the plants.

That's why you go to the magazine Monday morning. You want to see him, you need to look into his brown eyes and reassure yourself that not even a little part of him, however tiny, had gotten really involved with you.

But any fantasies you had about it disappeared in the moment you stepped into the newsroom. Natacha comes to meet you, her face confused, a paper in her hands.

“I'm sorry, Y/n,” she says, handing you the document. Your letter of resignation, already signed by Namjoon.

You are not surprised, but sad. That's the impetuous head editor you met long ago. You just nod to the colored haired girl and go to your table to collect your belongings. You peek through the glassed-in window into the office and... your heart stop.

Namjoon is at his desk, the phone wedged between his shoulder and ear, the glasses slipping down the nose. He hasn’t shaved, his hair is disheveled, clothes wrinkled —that is natural— but crescents dark under his eyes betray that he has slept little, and that is not normal.

Is he suffering too? You wonder, with a twinge of hope. Your eyes met and for a fleeting moment you come to believe that he seems in deep agony. He gets up and comes to the door. You hold your breath.

“Natacha,” he called loudly, covering the mouth of the phone with his hand. "Make sure that woman doesn't take anything that isn't hers."

Never in your entire life you felt so humiliated. And furious. He gives you one last icy look before closing the door and lowering the blinds on the window.

"Don't cry," Natacha asks, touching your arm.

You didn't even realize you were crying. You don't know exactly the reason for the tears. If it's pain and regret for not having explained everything before he found out for himself and came to the conclusions he had, or anger, which fought fiercely inside of you to reach the surface.

"Today he's worse than ever," Natacha complains, trying to console you. “He was here very early. Ella thinks he slept in the office."

Drying your face with the back of your hands and sniffling lightly, you turn at her and try to smile.

"Well, I better get out of here soon, before he decides to take it out on you." Unfortunately, your voice shakes, and Natacha's face takes pity.

Fuck the timing when Namjoon decided to open the game to Yoongi. Everyone knows of your involvement at that point, and the pitying looks makes everything even worse.

You clear your desk in less than ten minutes. You don't have much there. Besides, staying in the newsroom only would feed the agony you are in. Natacha helps you without saying anything, which is very kind of her. In a newsroom in which gossip is more than just fun, it's work, an attitude like hers comes to be touching.

You have already packed everything when Julia appears, crying.

"I never imagined what we did would end up like this," she whimpers on your neck.

“What I did, Julia. You didn't do anything. And I knew there was this possibility."

"Worth it?" She wants to know, releasing you to look you in the eyes.

You smile unhappily, shrugging your shoulders. “No, but it was the right thing to do."

You say goodbye to both of them and send a collective goodbye to the rest of the team. Some, like Youngjae, seems to disapprove of what you have done, others, like Yoongi, Irene and Ella didn't exactly seem to support you, but you felt their sadness to see you go.

You go to the elevator and press the button, balancing the box in your hands as you wait. You turn to scan the newsroom one last time. Many dreams, so many expectations and frustrations, all of that is being left behind. Not to mention your heart, which at that moment is locked in the head editor's room. The pale wood blinds shake slightly as you turn to face them. He isn't fast enough. Just at a glance, a brown blur of lenses and black plastic, but you see him.

The elevator doors opened with a thump, and out comes the most beautiful woman you have ever seen in your life. Restless, she straightens her long hair, runs a delicate hand over her forehead, smoothed her draped perfect designer dress and straightened her shoulders. The woman looks nervous, maybe even scared, but definitely wants to make a good impression. The resolution in her eyes is startling. She starts to move, not noticing you —which, frankly, it isn't even news anymore — and she walks, elegant and purposeful, towards Namjoon's office. Alexia is back where she has always belonged.

You enter the elevator with your eyes still on the model, until the metal doors close, putting a definitive end point. And that's it.

Moments later, without feeling anything below the neck, the doors open again as they reached the ground floor, heralding a new beginning. Only you don't want a fresh start. You want to go up to the eighth floor, run to Namjoon, keep him from Alexia's perfection and beg him to believe in you.

"Are you going out, or up again?" a familiar voice ask.

Jungkook is standing in front of the elevator, holding the door, watching you with a quiet disinterest. You lift your head, feeling out of place, weird, awkward, and so many other things.

Empty.

"I'm going out," you muttered.

He stares at you until he finally sighs. "And you intend to do it soon?"

"Do what?"

"Exit the elevator." He rolls his eyes.

Taking a deep breath and building up courage, you move your feet, taking the first step towards your new... nothing. Funny that, in those stupid movies that Sabrina made you watch, whenever the young lady is faced with a fresh start, soft, hopeful music plays in the background. Usually the sound of a piano, never a depressing country song on Josemar's battery radio, like it happens to you.

Jungkook lets you pass, stepping to one side, and then walks into the elevator.

"Bye, Y/n. See you." The doors began to close, but the tattooed hand of Jungkook stop them. "Are you crying?"

"It's possible. I... don't know what I'm supposed to do now," You confess in a semi-catatonic state.

"What do you mean, don't you know? Where are you going with this box?"

You look at the stuff in your hands, frowning. "I am not sure."

“Why do you… Ah! Did you resin?" He gets out of the elevator that immediately close and climbs in search of passengers.

“Namjoon fired me,” you say. "He thinks I was spying on magazine for the competitor."

Jungkook tilts his head, making the long hair cover his eyes.

"And you were spying?" he asks in a weird way.

"Of course not! But Namjoon didn't believe me. And now his ex is up there, probably saying all the right words, and tomorrow Namjoon won't even remember me anymore." Then you start laughing, shaking your head. "Tomorrow... what a pretense of mine. He no longer remembers me. The spell ended for him, but not for me."

"Okay, you're a little hysterical and you look like you're going to make a huge bullshit." He takes the box from your hands, tucking it under the arm. Then he takes you by the elbow and leads you out of the building. "We'll make you calm down before you tell me what's going on."

It's still early and the only places that sell alcohol at that time would be not very hygienic pubs. That's why you allow him to take you to the cafe on the corner, where you had left the car that morning. Ah, but you don't have a job anymore, right? Not boyfriend. You don't need to go home right away. By the way, you have nothing to do for the rest of your life. You need to occupy yourself. Or maybe you'd stop by Hobi's house later. You brother didn't have a lot to do until he's fully recovered from the accident. Oh no. Now he has. Or will have. His girlfriend is pregnant. He won't be unoccupied for the next twenty years. Maybe twenty-five if the baby is a boy.

You don't complain when Jungkook orders chamomile tea and cookies. You sit at the back of the cafe, you have your back to the entrance, with him in front of you. He waits for you to have some tea to start making questions.

“Now, calmly and coherently, tell me what happened."

You don't want to talk to Jungkook about the affair with Namjoon, especially not after having hurt him because of the man in question, but you need to vent in that instant, or you'll will explode into a million shares.

Building up courage and avoiding eye contact, you tell everything from the beginning of your affair with Namjoon to the end, adding all the details about the spell of the zodiac. He listened in silence, and the only time his brow furrowed is when you said that you haven't realized the zodiac worked because it was him, Jungkook, who you thought that was your happy ending.

"Then I did everything I did," You continued, "but I believed that what we had was true, that it would resist, but it wasn't. And now Namjoon will get back with Alexia and I will die."

"What to die for!" He grumbles, laughing. "You have your whole life ahead. You will love many more times."

"No! Not like I love Namjoon."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean you won't have a good time and be happy again."

"It sucks when we're down and someone keeps saying it's all going to be okay. Well, especially with nothing alcoholic around,” You grumble.

He laughs again. "It sucks to see such a beautiful and smart girl talking nonsense because she's heartbroken."

"What do you want me to do? Dance out there?"

"It's an idea. If you want, I'll accompany you. We can have dinner or just drink something. What do you prefer.”?

You look at him, really look at the absurdly sexy god and that makes panties explode within a mile radius in 0.3 second and that he doesn't seem to be aware of it. But when admiring that overwhelming beauty, you feel nothing but a mad desire for him to transmute into a disheveled geek with brown eyes and a lazy smile.

You shake your head.

“I'm sorry, Jungkook. I like you a lot, but it's not a good idea."

"I like you too. I'm talking about hanging out as friends, just that, but if you don't want me to keep you company, fine. Invite someone, maybe Julia or Natacha. Go drink until you drop, and tomorrow you can think about what to do out of life. It just doesn’t get all tearful around the corners. I understand you, Y/n, really. But I can also understand Namjoon's reaction. All this plot that you invented it sounds like a conspiracy. You should have told him before."

"I know! But I got scared, then he found out on his own, which, honestly, it wasn't part of my plans."

He studies you for a moment, watching every feature of your face.

“You don't seem to have let go of Namjoon."

You roll your eyes.

"Tell me something I still don't know. I love Namjoon, Jungkook. How could I forget how I feel about him all of a sudden?"

“That's exactly what I'm asking myself." He smiles. "Haven't you stopped to think that this spell story might be in your head, that you did let that crazy woman influence you? Because, as I understand it, if you undid the “magic,” everything should have returned to normal. That includes you."

"Yeah, but she said what was meant to be, what was meant to be, wasn't going to change. I think my destiny was to love Namjoon. And besides, I know it was all the deck's fault. I had evidence that I messed with the lives of many people."

"That's not always a bad thing," he comments cautiously.

“In some cases, it was very bad, yes. My best friend is still devastated by what I put her through, unaware of it, of course."

He snorts, shaking his head. “The more you talk, the more absurd it all sounds. If there was a spell and it was undone, and your friend is still suffering. She should be well, no?"

You frown.

"Maybe Sa's destiny was to love Seokjin too. And stop trying to confuse me! You said you believed in these cosmic things, why did you change your mind now?"

"It's one thing to believe that there are forces that guide us, it's another to believe that a girl like you can control them using an old deck and some texts. Answer me one thing, Y/n." He leans closer, getting closer hands on the tabletop. “Why the hell did you want to go out with me?"

"You're handsome. I looked at you and wanted you. I am really sorry."

He smiles. “Oh no, girl. Can stop. I endured all this story of yours in silence bewitched zodiac freak but apologizing for being interested in me is already too much. I won't be quiet this time."

You laugh, as does he.

“You know, I thought you'd never look me in the face again,” you admit.

"And I wasn't," he agrees. "Until I realized that you were really in love with the guy and didn't like it at all."

"I hated. Both having fallen in love with my boss and having you hurt. I never wanted this, Jungkook, you have to believe me."

"I believe. You're a good girl,” he says in a low voice. "People don't choose who to fall in love with, right?"

“If I could, I would have chosen you." Everything would have been simpler if you had fallen in love with Jungkook.

"I'm flattered." He looks at you for a moment before asking: "Can I take a test?"

"What test?" You want to know, meeting his gaze, which is suddenly stuck to your lips.

“I just want to check something."

To your utter bewilderment, he leans across the table and grabs your head, crushing your lips with his. You blink, eyes widening. How many times have you longed for that kiss? How many times have you thought about what Jungkook would taste and smell like so close? But in person and in color and flavor, things are… normal. That sudden kiss takes you by surprise, and it isn't unpleasant. Contrary! Despite the brutality with which he grabbed you, his lips are sweet, soft as velvet and very careful. But that's it. Nothing inside of you stirred or exploded, you don't melt, you don't think you'd pass out if he doesn't stop, nor die if he walks away.

Jungkook releases you suddenly and stare at you in amusement.

“Exactly as I suspected."

“Uh… I'm not sure what you mean by that,” you say, stunned.

"Precisely! You didn't feel anything."

“Well…no, but you caught me off guard, didn't you?" You justify, dismayed that, it seemed, you haven't passed the test, whatever it was.

"Think with me, Y/n. No one here is under the effect of the “spell.” At the very least, you should feel something, at least a little butterfly in your stomach, and all I can see on his face now is surprised."

"I didn't think you were going to kiss me. Especially as we passed the last half hour talking about another guy,” You snap, a little annoyed.

“That's not the point." He shakes his head. "You might have thought that you were attracted to me, but your body disagrees with that. It wants Namjoon. You weren't attracted to him because of a crappy Romani deck. And I bet he wasn't either."

"I don't understand." But at that point, you don't even understand yourself.

Your tea ends, you are already calmer, although you feel the agony bubbling inside of you, desperate to find an outlet.

“I suppose not. But think about it.” He opens his wallet and leaves the money under your saucer. Then he gets to his feet and, very gently, helps you get up. "Call me if you want to discuss the matter."

"Thank you, Jungkook. You were the best today. I didn't deserve such kindness and consideration."

"Oh, Y/n, you deserve it." He hugs you tenderly and kisses the top of your head. “You are such a sweet girl. Just being too stupid to believe you could get involved in editorial espionage."

“You almost believed it."

“That's what I said, just being really stupid." He makes a face, and you laugh still hugging him.

Something catches Jungkook's eye at the entrance of the cafe. He freezes and his amused expression disappears. You turn your head and meets Namjoon's gaze.

He isn't alone.

Your eyes remain locked for a moment, then descends to your waist, where Jungkook's hands are. Rage, contempt, grief gleam in his brown eyes. You let go of him abruptly, but that's already late, the damage has already been done.

Namjoon turned his attention to Alexia and laughs at something the model is saying. With a delicacy that makes your heart stop, leaving you with the feeling of having turned into a zombie, he places his hand on her back and guides her to one of the tables. You stand there looking at that big, smooth hand that so often had caressed your skin, the same skin that had wrapped itself around yours when you made love.

"Move, Y/n." Jungkook nudge you on the shoulder. "Or you'll let that the guy see you crying?"

You get out of the cafe so fast that you nearly run over an elderly couple who's entering. You stride to your car and Jungkook has to run to reach you.

"I don't think you should be driving in these conditions," he says, handing over the box with your belongings.

You toss it into the backseat with little care. "I'm great. See you around."

You take off, making the tires squeal, and turn the radio to full volume. Kind of on automatic you manage to get home, go up the three flights of stairs, enter and close the door. You lean against it, slipping through the wood until you collide with the cold floor. You are devastated. Hollow and broken, like the shell of an old peanut, with no prospect of ever being able to gather your pieces again.

At least that's what you think at that moment, not knowing that fate - whose existence until recently you didn't know — has other plans for you.

Author note: JK is such a sweetheart in this chapter. Also, sorry not sorry about it.

Feedback is always appreciated.

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mars-ipan · 7 months

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the most annoying part abt the pseudosexual pseudo-horny is the inability to make it go away right. it’s like an itch that refuses to let itself be scratched. you either feel no relief or searing pain no in between. (at least in my case)

sometimes. i get desperately uncomfortable about it and think “GOD fine i’ve tried every other avenue i’ll listen to one of those asmr audio videos and see if that does anything” but whenever i look them up the thumbnails and titles are enough to keep me from ever clicking on them. not even in my desperation to let my body feel normal again can i bring myself to watch one of those

#marzi speaks #pseudosexual moment #i’m SORRY but they’re just so. STUPID looking #it’s either like. some wattpad bullshit or some ao3 dead dove bullshit #‘ur possessive bully protects you from your ex’ do you hear yourself?????#like i’m sorry. i cannot. i’d get 10 seconds into one of those and immediately burst into laughter #it’s really annoying tho bc it is genuinely the only thing i haven’t tried to get rid of the pseudo-horny #so there is a mild amount of fear that those videos would actually make it go away. like there’s a solid degree of separation there #and i am afraid that they would help #i HAVE watched a couple for jokes and those ones made me uncomfy or laugh and that is my only comfort #anyways. i need to go to sleep #if this post is deleted in the morning dw about it that just means i decided i wanted to keep it to myself #asexuality is so funny. why do i gotta be sex ambivalent

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atlabeth · 3 years

Text

everything happens for a reason part 5 - zuko x fem!reader

I can go anywhere I want, I can go anywhere just not home

part 4 | masterlist | part 6

a/n: this was hard to get going but once i got to the end the words just flowed. ive come to the conclusion that writing dialogue with katara is my favorite thing to do

warning(s): nightmare at the beginning, survivor's guilt from y/n, some internalized homophobia :-( but aside from that its mostly fluff

wc: 3.6k

chapter title comes from my tears ricochet by taylor swift!

She was trapped.

It was a prison of never ending hallways in some kind of infinite void, complete with the rank stench of death and an innate feeling of hopelessness.

Y/N knew this place. It had been the subject of her nightmares on countless occasions, because it was where she was supposed to be. She had no choice but to start down the pathway of cracked stone — she knew what awaited her, but it was the only way out. She had developed some sick sense of awareness in this nightmare and it didn’t do her any favors.

She began to walk hastily down the path, the itch of paranoia already plaguing the back of her mind. Countless times she had been here, and yet it never got better.

Before Y/N knew it, she had reached her unwanted destination. The first tangible thing in what felt like miles was a prison cell, and she pushed forward despite knowing what awaited her. It was the only way.

“It wasn’t the only way.”

She froze, inhaling sharply as the dreamscape seemed to pull her thoughts out of her mind, and she forced herself to take another step closer, the inhabitant of the cell now visible.

“You did this to me.”

It was her mother, but… not quite her. Her voice strained and stiff, a gaunt appearance with cruel eyes, hunched over in a prison cell. Any sign of the woman Y/N knew her as was gone, and it was her fault. She was the reason Kura was gone — a mother’s ultimate sacrifice because her daughter was too stuck in her head.

“How could you do this to me?” she asked. “How could you be so selfish?”

Y/N tried to respond, but she couldn’t. It was no use anyway — her words would’ve come out in broken, pleading rambles to someone who couldn’t hear a thing. She knew it was fake, she knew this was a nightmare, but it still hurt all the same.

She had imagined her mother saying those words to her so many times they had found their way into her nightmares despite knowing that Kura would never utter a single syllable true to her fears. She had all but killed her mother, and instead of remembering her for what she had done for Y/N, she appeared in her nightmares.

She was a horrible daughter.

She heard footsteps and whirled around, instinctively taking a step back and wincing as her back slammed into the bars. A tall, dark figure creeped towards her and her breath caught in her throat — as it came into the light, she recognized him as the Fire Lord.

He chuckled coldly as he neared ever closer, the path he walked turning to flames behind him. Her eyes darted around for an escape only to find that everything was on fire. It was suffocating, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think, and when she turned to look for her mother she was gone. Everything was gone, her dark void now a prison of flames.

She turned around once more and Ozai was right in front of her, the fire in his hands glowing red hot and a cruel smile on his lips.

“Did you really think you could get away that easily?”

She shot up in her bed, a scream on the edge of her lips but just barely managing to hold it back. Ragged breaths were ripped from her chest, her eyes shooting around wildly as she attempted to find anything at all to ground her. It took a few minutes, but with repeated mantras of it was just a dream and you are safe, she was able to calm down.

She pulled her knees to her chest and exhaled long and deep before pulling herself out of bed. It seemed that her day was going to be starting much earlier than planned.

Four years had passed since her arrival at the Northern Water Tribe, but the nightmares never ceased. It didn’t matter how many times she told herself she had done the right thing, that it was what her mother wanted, that if she stayed she would’ve died — she was constantly haunted by her past actions and memories of the Fire Nation.

She hasn’t taken off the necklace since her mother gave it to her, no matter what she does. It’s almost become a part of her now — a memory of Kura and her selflessness that knew no bounds, as well as a grim reminder of what it cost to get her here.

The Northern Water Tribe itself held countless memories of her mother — after all, it was where she had spent the first eighteen years of her life. Her name was well known throughout the tribe with nobles and elders alike, and it amazed Y/N to no end the impact that her mother left everywhere she went. She loved hearing stories about her mother and what she was like as a child, but it was always bittersweet.

She always carried an inherent sense of guilt with her because of who she lived with — her mother hadn��t been lying when she said that the necklace would get them to help her. Kura’s parents still lived in the tribe, and they had taken Y/N in after she revealed who she was. They loved her unconditionally and never made her feel like a burden, but Y/N would be lying to herself if she didn’t think they blamed her for the fate that befell her mother.

After all, she did.

She had never told anyone the full story of why she ran though. It was one thing to leave her mother behind for certain death because of the Fire Lord’s rage, it was another thing to admit that it was wholly her fault because she had fallen for a prince.

Zuko.

Not a day went by where she didn’t think of him. She still held the hope that she would see him again someday, but in lieu of travel she turned to letters.

Y/N had a shelf full of unmailed letters addressed to both Zuko and her mother — it was a way to get out her emotions whenever she was feeling particularly homesick or hopeless, and it did help at first, but after four years it had become something born out of habit rather than necessity.

She still wrote them though — Y/N had learned to hold onto any form of hope she could muster up, no matter how small, and in this moment she needed some.

She opened her shelf and rifled through piles upon piles of letters, some finished, some hardly started, and some crumpled from fits of rage, and her breath caught in her throat when her fingers brushed something different. Y/N pulled the material out and nearly started crying right then and there.

It was an unbelievably simple patch of fabric, but it meant the world to her — something that she had bought during her last night with Zuko, and one of the only pieces of material to have survived her journey to the Northern Water Tribe. She was forced to sell the rest of the fabric she had brought with her in order to make some easy money while on the run, but she had kept this as a memento. She could almost be brought back to the final sunset they shared if she looked at it for long enough.

Y/N bit down hard on her lip to stop the tears and shoved it back into the drawer before closing it and leaving her room in a haste. Sometimes she wasn’t strong enough to handle the memories.

She made her way to the living room and let out a sigh of relief when she noticed the silence. Y/N had never told her grandparents about the nightmares, and right now she just needed some time to herself. Never before was she so thankful for her grandmother’s gossiping nature and her grandfather’s work than she was in the mornings where she just wanted to be alone.

She sat down on the floor, not even bothering to get a cushion, and stared at her hands. Once smooth and untouched by the world, they were now rough and calloused with wrapped bandages resting just below her wrist. Permanent memories of what it took to get here. The ever present reminder that nothing came without a cost.

This morning seemed to be one full of yearning for the past. Y/N tried to shake her feelings off and got up once more, contemplating some steamed sea prunes before deeming it fruitless. Her appetite was lacking after her trip down memory lane.

She walked back to her room and got dressed hastily then ran out the door, but not before plucking a gift from her shelf. Today marked the birthday of a certain princess, and Y/N had to go fast if she was going to get it to her before class.

She was immediately hit by the frigid air of the North, pulling her anorak tighter around her frame as she began to run to the canals — one could always find Princess Yue there in the mornings — doing her best to avoid anyone else walking.

Y/N saw Yue just about to board one of the boats and sped up, waving one of her arms as a signal. “Yue, wait!”

She turned and her face immediately brightened up at the sight of Y/N, raising her open palm so the boatman would hold up. “Y/N! Would you like to join me?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

Yue’s nod prompted a shrug as she dropped down carefully into the gondola, taking extra care not to drop her gift, and took a seat next to her friend.

“This is a nice surprise,” Yue smiled as the boatman began to waterbend, effectively moving their gondola through the canal. “But if I might ask, what brought you here so early?”

Y/N laughed, thinking her reason for coming here obvious. “It’s your birthday, princess! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t come to wish you well in person?”

Her smile grew even brighter, the corners of her eyes creasing up in the way that made some kind of warmth blossom in Y/N’s chest. “Thank you! That’s so sweet — I’m especially honored that you woke up early just for me.”

“Of course.” Y/N brandished the gift she had been doing her best to hide, unable to do the same for her own smile. “And here’s your gift! I sewed it all myself.”

Yue gasped as she took the creation, giving it a slight squeeze and a thorough investigation before absolutely beaming. “You made me an otter penguin— oh, you know how much I love these!”

She wrapped Y/N in a tight hug before pulling away, but it was just long enough for the heat to rush to her cheeks. “Thank you so much, really. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Y/N beamed at the praise and nodded, shifting a little in her seat. “Oh, it’s nothing. I’m glad you like it so much.”

The two girls grinned at each other then turned their gaze to the horizon, content to spend the rest of the ride together in comfortable silence.

Her friendship with the princess of the Northern Water Tribe was something that Y/N cherished with all her heart. She could confidently say that Princess Yue was her best friend, and she hoped it was a notion that Yue shared. As beautiful as she was kind, the princess always had a way of making her feel better on the hardest days — Yue was the only one who knew the whole truth of what happened in the Fire Nation, and she offered nothing but sympathy.

Y/N honestly didn’t know what she would do without Yue. She had been her rock during the whole process of getting situated in the tribe, always lending a helping hand when she stumbled in class or was completely oblivious to something in their culture, and she never made her feel stupid, or unwanted, or less-than for what she had come from.

The only thing that confused her about Yue was the feeling she got whenever Y/N was around her. The rushes of heat to her cheeks, the warmth blossoming in her chest, and the unusual happiness she felt anytime Yue smiled at her. The most peculiar of it all was the strange tug of jealousy any time a noble boy tried to flirt with the princess, and nothing but disinterest whenever they tried an angle on her instead.

She didn’t know what any of it meant, but she had the sneaking suspicion that it was wrong. So Y/N did the only thing she could and suppressed it.

Soon enough, though much to their chagrin, Y/N had to leave. After some exchanged hugs and one last wish of happy birthday, Y/N took off for her morning healing class. But as she hurried down the icy paths, she caught sight of the most peculiar thing.

A giant flying bison was being led through the canals with a team of waterbenders, three kids that couldn’t be any older than her on its back. One had an arrow on his head and sported orange and yellow robes, while the other two looked to be of Water Tribe descent.

Her interest was irrefutably piqued, but she didn’t have any more time to waste with gawking. So she began to run once again, apologies spilling from her lips as she maneuvered through the groups of people all just as awestruck by the strange arrival as she was. Y/N made a mental note to ask Yue about it later, but for now she was running very late to her healing class.

Sure enough, a few hours later, Y/N was able to get the answers she had been craving. She met up with Yue outside of the palace, and during a short walk, she learned that the boy was the Avatar. He had come to the Northern Water Tribe to master waterbending, and the two kids with him were his companions from the Southern Tribe — much to her excitement, the girl was a waterbender.

Needless to say, Y/N was even more enthusiastic than before, and Yue made her day by confirming that they would be coming to her birthday celebration that night as honored guests. She had already talked to her father about allowing Y/N to sit with her and he had said yes, which meant that she would get to meet him and his friends in person — it just served as a reminder that Y/N had no idea what she would do without Yue.

After what felt like hours of passing the time with lost games of Pai Sho against her grandfather and failed attempts at finishing her homework, it was finally time for the banquet. Once she arrived at the front of the palace she bid goodbye to her grandparents and went to find the seat that Yue had secured for her.

She settled down in the empty spot next to what she assumed was Yue’s — it was her birthday after all, so a dramatic entrance wasn’t out of the question — and nervously glanced at the three visitors, trying to figure out how to introduce herself.

Thankfully, she was saved when the girl met her eyes and waved, offering a friendly smile. “Hi! I’m Katara; this is my brother Sokka, and that’s Aang.” She gestured in their direction with her head when she said their names and they both smiled and gave her polite nods.

She returned the sentiment gratefully. “I’m Y/N— I’m one of Princess Yue’s friends. Welcome to the Northern Water Tribe!”

“Thanks!” Aang said. “We’re here to find a master so Katara and I can master waterbending.”

“Well, you’re in luck. Master Pakku is one of the best there is, and even though he’s a total jerk, he’ll be able to teach you everything you need to know. And Katara, we have some amazing healing teachers— I can bring you along to my class tomorrow if you’re interested!”

Katara’s eyes lit up. “You’re a waterbender too?” When Y/N nodded, her smile grew even bigger, though slightly wistful.

“I’d really appreciate that,” she admitted, though her brows knit together. “But I’d like to learn from Master Pakku as well.”

Y/N frowned, about to correct her, when the distinct sound of drums began to echo throughout the hall. Her displeasure immediately disappeared as she grinned at them all excitedly, gesturing with her head towards the action.

Chief Arnook stood up from his spot and their table, his low voice booming. “Tonight, we celebrate the arrival of our brother and sister from the Southern Tribe. And they have brought with them someone very special, someone whom many of us believed disappeared from the world until now… the Avatar!”

Y/N’s own applause joined a symphony of others clapping and cheering as Aang waved bashfully, and once it died down, Arnook continued. “We also celebrate my daughter’s sixteenth birthday. Princess Yue is now of marrying age!”

She grinned as Yue walked out alongside her attendants — she would never get used to her beauty. Y/N noticed the way that Sokka’s eyes widened as he stared at her, and her stomach twisted at the act for some unknown reason.

“Thank you, Father,” she said. “May the great Ocean and Moon Spirits watch over us during these troubled times!”

Arnook smiled at his daughter and directed his attention back to his people. “Now, Master Pakku and his students will perform!”

She could tell that Katara and Aang were enraptured by the bending, while Sokka’s attention was already on Yue as she walked over to sit between Sokka and Y/N.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Yue exclaimed, greeting her friend with a short embrace.

Y/N gave her a sideways smile. “If you think that I would miss your birthday and a banquet, then I’m afraid you’re out of practice on Y/N trivia.”

The princess laughed and nodded amiably then turned her attention to Sokka, ever the diplomat.

“Hi there,” he grinned. “Sokka, Southern Water Tribe.”

Yue returned the sentiment and gave him a slight bow. “Very nice to meet you.”

As their conversation went on, Y/N found herself tuning out a bit. For whatever reason, she had to actively stop herself from rolling her eyes at Sokka’s flirting, that same feeling in her stomach coming back. She made a mental note to see a healer about her issues.

“Hey, Y/N!” She snapped out of her self-imposed trance at the sound of Katara calling her name as she gestured for her to come over. It looked like Aang had gotten up to converse with Master Pakku and Chief Arnook, so she took the invitation and switched seats.

“I can’t tell you how nice it is to finally be here,” Katara said once Y/N had settled next to her. “Back home, I’m the only waterbender. Here… it’s like paradise. It almost feels too good to be true. I mean, even seeing you is crazy — I’ve never met a waterbender my age.”

Y/N smiled, though not without a hint of sadness. “I’m sorry that it’s taken so long for you to be able to experience this. How are you the only bender left down there?”

Katara was silent for a moment, a flurry of emotions warring on her face, before she answered. “The Southern Tribe hasn’t fared half as well as the Northern Tribe during the war. We don’t have one big, huge capital like this, we’re all split up into small villages. The Fire Nation has just been relentless with their raids, and without support from the North and a lack of communication between our sister tribes in the South, they were able to wipe us all out. Except for me.”

“Spirits, Katara…” Y/N set an amiable hand on her shoulder and squeezed, hoping that her softened expression could say what her words couldn’t. “My village was invaded when I was young, too. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.”

She nodded pensively but managed to meet her eyes with an appreciative smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry about your village as well.” Her gaze drifted off, once again taking in the view around them, and when Katara met her eyes again she seemed better. “But we’re here now, and I’m planning to take advantage of everything I can, starting with all this food. Which one of these is your favorite?”

Y/N grinned as Katara pointed at the platter of various dishes in front of them. “Oh, you’ve got to try this. See that giant crab up there? That’s what this is, and you have not lived until you have tried Northern crab.”

Conversation flowed just as easily through the rest of the night between the two girls, occasionally switching to include Sokka and Yue and eventually Aang once he returned. Between the swells of pride whenever they laughed at her jokes, getting to learn about all three of them, and the almost palpable euphoria in the air, Y/N was sure of one thing:

This was the happiest she had felt in a long time. She could only hope it would last.

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

ehfar: @chandies-sideblog @persica27 @anzanity @randomthingssss @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @shanksfav @shephard17895

atla: @marianne1806

#zuko x reader #zuko x you #zuko x y/n #zuko fic #zuko x reader fic #zuko #avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla fic #avatar fic #reader insert #avatar x reader #sadie writes #ehfar #y/n is having bi panic when she doesn't even know wtf the fuck bi is #she can't help it that her friend is the prettiest girl in the world

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wh0reifyoudontexist · 3 years

Note

Hi!! I am unloved with "Traitor" I was wondering if you can make a part two in which Astoria sees Y/n and Draco relationship through the year, and one day Y/n and Astoria cross path, and you can take it from there.

time

draco malfoy x bi!fem!reader

past astoria greengrass x bi!fem!reader

no voldy au

angst > a little bit of fluff at the end

request: yes | no

summary: in which Astoria sees Y/n and Draco relationship through the year, and one day Y/n and Astoria cross path, and you can take it from there.

warnings: somewhat toxic!reader, heartbreakk oml, few curse words,

a/n: im so sorry this is late, i was drowning in my school work,,,, not that proud of this but its okay igg

read this first: traitor

masterlist | navigation

time flies by, they said.

opposites attract, they said.

everything will get better, they said.

lie, lie, lie, lies.

for astoria, time seems to be always frozen whenever she passes you. in every hallway she turns in, in every classroom she enters.

and her eyes always manages to find yours already looking at his silver ones.

she would say her eyes are magnets, always wandering off to you, and her heart would break-- bit by bit. but that's okay, she's used to it.

magnets attract the opposite, north to south, south to north. and i could say you were both magnets, once. it didn't matter what pole you were, you always attracted her. genuine question, does spending too much time with someone make you want to repel from them when too much time has been wasted just being in that person's comfort? because if yes, then we know the reason why you don't want to be in her presence anymore. but that doesn't answer astoria's side of the story.

september 1, 1996

all she could do was glare as you entered the compartment, hand tucked within someone else's.

her arms were crossed as her vision left yours and instead focused on the scenery outside the express. but she couldn't focus, she's itching just to take a glance at you, to see you and your perfect face, with your perfect hair, talking with that perfect voice.

her eyes turned just a bit to see you talking to draco malfoy, who has this smile on his face, he couldn't wipe even if he tried.

what happened this summer?

a few months back, you were so happy with her, your hands intertwined under the table, hidden from everyone else's sight, as you gushed about your family, your vacations.

and astoria's face couldn't have shined brighter than it did during that time, a total contrast to her now.

she tried writing to you, all she got in return was nothing. she always waved it off, saying you were probably busy with your family.

she was just hoping to see you on your first day back. and she did, but you didn't even spare her a glance. as if she doesn't even exist, as if you've never met her.

and all she could do was glare.

october 31, 1996

ah, spin the bottle. perfect game for halloween, no? not for you, or so she thought.

you once told her you didn't like these types of games, you said they're for 6th graders.

but she saw you, jumping and face glowing when you pulled draco to sit beside you as people started gathering around the bottle.

was everything else you told her a lie?

december 12, 1996

she entered the common room, wanting the fire's warmth. hours spent writhing in bed, trying to find that perfect position to travel off to sleep. and failing.

that's all she wanted. warmth. yet she received something else, something she wants to wipe off of her memory. you cuddled close to him, your legs intertwining with his as he wrapped an arm around you.

she gasped, and you turned your head to face her.

"greengrass" your boyfriend had said.

"malfoy," she paused before looking at you, tears starting to pool in her waterline remembering the sight she was bestowed upon "l/n"

you nodded your head, hands tightly grasping draco's shirt. "i'm sorry, i just- couldn't sleep, it's freezing, and i thought the common room would be empty, guess not." she laughed awkwardly, her arms behind her back.

"wait" you spoke and she caught your eyes. finally. "you can stay here, we can just go to his dorm. c'mon dray," you pulled yourself up, your dress hiking up your thigh, as you exited the room, draco in tow.

"thanks..." she sat on the couch frozen, tears leaking out of her eyes. oh the envy that she felt.

she didn't get to sleep that night.

february 13, 1996

"i love you" your voice sounded through the wooden door as you told draco,

she wanted to hear you say that, to her. not to him. and she broke all over again.

june 4, 1996

you were planning to surprise your boyfriend for his birthday tomorrow, when you ran into her.

"tori"

"glad to know you still know my name."

"i- what are you doing up?"

she was angry beyond relief, "couldn't sleep. i guess i don't need to ask what you're doing." she said as she turned her head to look at the streamers hanged around the common room.

"yeah, it's his birthday tomorrow. i wanted to surprise him."

"i know, i went to some of his birthday parties at the manor"

then it was silent. and it was deafening.

"can we stop, please?"

"what?"

"let's just stop pretending that everything's fine between us-"

"oh im not pretending, i know that everything's shitty, especially between us. i'm just tired, and all i wanted was to go to sleep but you're here." she turned to walk away, but you grabbed her wrist and she froze. you haven't touched her in forever. and she missed your touch.

"so what, are we not just going to talk about this?"

"what exactly is there to talk about? weren't you the one that left me, pretending that you don't even know me?"

"tori if you would let me explain"

"explain what? that you fell in love with the person who's been treating you like shit ever since first year? what is up with that l/n?" she used your last name. the last name that you once promised her, she would use.

astoria l/n.

you decided not to answer that, "tori, listen he's changed," she scoffed at that but you continued, "if you won't forgive me, then just let me get this off my chest."

"i liked you, you know that" astoria pulled her hands away from you, crossing her arms over her chest instead. and she could've sworn hurt flashed from your eyes. "but i guess a part of me inside have always known that we won't last. tell me you felt it too,"

"i actually haven't. i thought you were my soulmate y/n/n.." she paused wiping her tears frustratedly with her sleeve. "so," you turned your head to face her, grabbing a hold of her hands to let her continue, "you just decided not to talk to me? not even giving me an explanation?" she laughed hurt evident in it.

you let go of her hands, instead grabbing her body and pulling her close to you, so that you were chest to chest. "i hate myself for ever hurting you." you sighed into her head, kissing it with your eyes closed shut. you rubbed your hands on her cheek, astoria immediately melting into it.

"i'm so sorry. if i could take it back i would. i wouldn't think about ever leaving you, i would give us a chance and if we fall by nature, then we fall. i wouldn't be the one that would break us up." she wrapped her arms around your waist again, needing your comfort, and you returned it burying your head on her shoulder.

you decided not to tell her that even if you could go back, you don't want to.. you've already fallen in love with draco.

#draco angst #draco fanfiction #draco fucking malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #astoria greengrass x reader #draco malfoy angst #draco x reader #draco malfoy masterlist #astoria greengrass angst #astoria greengrass #draco x female reader #draco one shot

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meowzfordayz · 2 years

Note

Tell me your favorite thing about each of the kny characters and one HC you have about how the two of you might interact with oneanother. Please and thank you.

M’sleepy so m’just gonna do this for KNY characters I can recall from memory… 👀 Also !! These aren’t necessarily my ~favorite things — just things that standout to me. 🤗

Agatsuma Zenitsu: I might’ve fallen in love when he protected Nezuko’s box from Inosuke ?? 🥺 Irl he’d get on my nerves real quick 😐, and m’sure I’d fascinate him. 💁🏻‍♀️

Akaza: I appreciate how he shows honor and respect in his own twisted fashion by asking powerful slayers to join him also how he drinks #respect women juice. Irl I’d be itching to smack his smug grin 🙄, and he’d reluctantly acknowledge my badass-ery. 💪🏽

Daki: her loyalty to Gyutaro mADE ME SOB. Not joking. Irl I’d despise her (Ik it isn’t her fault she’s valued solely for her appearance, but I can’t tolerate snobby bitches) altho lowkey still ogle her 🤭, and she’d likely return my meh opinion of her.

Gyutaro: his loyalty to Daki aLSO MADE ME SOB. Irl I could see us getting along if I also got along w/ Daki, sooo… we wouldn’t get along. 😂

Hashibira Inosuke: he’s a 🍄wild child🌱 (I adore him). Irl I’d be thoroughly amused by him, and he’d be impressed by how I can keep up w/ his antics.

Himejima Gyomei: am I allowed to mention his height? 😶 Lmao. Otherwise, def his nurturing demeanor. ☺️ Irl I’d be in awe of him, and he’d prob barely even notice me at 5’ tall. 😒

Hotaru Haganezuka: Bruh his comic relief is 👌🏽. LIKE chill DUDE. But also I 💗 you. Irl I’d dread his company bc he’s so high maintenance, and he’d get riled up by how I mistreat my backpack(s) lololol (my current backpack’s barely hanging in there).

Iguro Obanai: we both enjoy hanging out in trees… 😅 Irl I’d be intrigued and careful around him, and he’d give 0 fucks about me (not hatred, just indifference). 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kamado Nezuko: SHE’S SO FRICKING ADORABLE AHHHHH. 😭 As baby demon AND normal human lololol. Irl I’d be shy about greeting her, but she’d just smile and wave me over, and voila! #now we’re friends. 💞

Kamado Tanjirou: I literally had to pause and just smile to myself bc I’m simply 🥰 for Tanjirou (his smile, his idiocy 😇, his determination, his, his…). Irl I’d compliment his earrings, and he’d compliment mine (and after learning that I made my earrings, he’d ask if he could buy a pair of his own).

Kanroji Mitsuri: her personality and her outfit is #goalz. 💝 Irl she’d kinda annoy me, but not in a ~bad way (she’s just so cheerful dammit 😆), and she’d constantly poke and prod at my occasionally sullen demeanor.

Kanzaki Aoi: I’m a sucker for her attitude like uGH YAS AOI PUT EVERYONE IN THEIR PLACE. 👸🏻 Irl we’d be frenemies — very competitive and very understanding of each other.

Kibutsuji Muzan: he’s pretty ?? I lowkey hate him. 🥲 Irl I CAN’T EVEN I HIGHKEY HATE HIM.

Kocho Shinobu: her Breathing Style is 😍. And her brain ?? Unmatched. 🤓 Irl I’d be nervous around her, and she’d tease me incessantly about it.

Rengoku Kyojuro: I JUST WANNA EAT W/ HIM TO HEAR HIM EXCLAIM “Umai!” A BAJILLION TIMES. 😋 Irl I’d stare relentlessly at him, and he’d raise a curious eyebrow (he’d be pleasantly surprised when I finally meander over to introduce myself).

Rui: he’s very creative, albeit poor sadistic bby. Irl I’d keep my distance — neutral acquaintances.

Tamayo: her presence. I’d like to bottle it pls and ty. 😌 I SQUEAL WHENEVER HER BLOOD SAMPLE COLLECTING KITTY APPEARS. 😻 Irl I’d accidentally call her “mom” or something, and she’d laugh it off politely.

Tokito Muichiro: his hair is so long and so stunning. Irl I’d ask how he grew his hair out so nicely, and he’d just shrug, “It just happened?”

Tsuyuri Kanao: she’s strong. Like. 11/10 would be her bff and let her nap w/ her head in my lap. 🦋 Irl she’d fascinate me, but we’d both be too hesitant to ever actually offer our names.

Shinazugawa Sanemi: he’s fierce and I’d let him step on me. 🙃 Preferably cuddle me, but Idk the likelihood of that *sigh*. Irl I’d be determined to crack him aka befriend him, and he’d be utterly frustrated by my persistence.

Tomioka Giyuu: MY AWKWARD BOI !! 💙 I admire his resilience. Similar to Sanemi, irl I’d barrage him w/ creative questions, and he’d be confused but willing to entertain me w/ extremely curt answers.

Ubuyashiki Kagaya: how he carries, manages, the weight of his world. Irl he’d catch me glancing at his markings, and chuckle softly as my eyes widen guiltily.

Uzui Tengen: how he priorities those closest to him. Irl I’d scoff at his extra-ness, and he’d show off, futilely attempting to convert me, only prompting me to scowl further. 🥴

#answered by T #💌#moot: 🌙

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diaryofabeautyfiend · 3 years

Text

Because the Night

Steve Rogers x enhanced!sex worker!reader

Warnings: cheating, canon typical violence, cum play, double vaginal penetration, blood, choking, m/f/m sex, m/f sex

3,970 words

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“Take me now, baby, here as I am

Pull me close, try and understand

Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe

Love is a banquet on which we

feed”- Patti Smith (Written by Bruce Springsteen)

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Steve sat at the hotel bar nervously picking at his fingers. Everything about this felt wrong. For one he was cheating on his fiancé. That thought alone was enough to make him want to wretch. But acquiring the services of a lady of the night was a whole other level of disgust.

He got your name from Bucky who assured him you were special. You would understand Steve because you were like him. Unmatched strength. Hyper fast healing ability. But, what made you the most special was that you couldn’t feel pain. That meant Steve could go as hard as he wanted on you and you would just beg for more. Or that’s how Bucky described you.

He made the appointment because of all his pent up rage. It was eating at him. He spent hours in the gym pulverizing punching bags with no relief. He jerked off several times a day and the hole inside kept getting bigger. Pain and need gnawed at it making the edges raw and ragged. He began lashing out at the team.

The tipping point was when Steve snapped at Sam after a particularly grueling night. It wasn’t the first time he had gotten into it with one of them but it was the most potentially explosive. Sam mouthed off and Steve pinned him against a wall. Had Bucky and Thor not been there, Steve would have hit him. He went home to Kim, his fiancée and the rest of the team had a meeting.

They nominated Bucky to talk to him. Bucky was not entirely prepared for the conversation he and Steve would have.

Nat and Wanda took Kim out for a girls night so the guys could talk. Steve knew it was coming. He already had beer and snacks waiting for his best friend. They made small talk. Shot the shit for a while until Steve grew impatient.

“Ok, Buck. What’s up? I talked to Sam. Apologized. It won’t happen again.” There was an edge to his voice. He was ready to unload at any moment.

“Fuck all those guys. It’s just me and you. What’s going on with you, man? You’ve been a fucking nightmare. Everything cool with you and Kim? Are you getting cold feet?”

“No. Everything’s fine. Kim’s fine. I just….it’s stupid….our sex life is great. Really good. It’s just when I get like this, I need to get all of this energy out. Do you ever feel that way?”

Bucky dropped his head back laughing, “You need to fuck it out. I get it. I feel that way all the time. You have to scratch that itch, pal.”

“Ok. But how do you scratch it without breaking the person you’re fucking? I’m afraid I’m going to hurt Kim. Whenever I feel like I’m losing control I let her get on top and I hold myself so still. I can barely concentrate on how good it feels because I’m holding myself back from crushing her.”

Bucky knew exactly what Steve needed. A good and proper release. He had two ideas. He wouldn’t like either of them. His first idea was to let Steve fuck him. Steve would have no problem with fucking his best friend. They’d done it before. But, Steve would be afraid of all the old feelings it would stir. He would rather not go back there. Their relationship was not exactly healthy. They were in a good place right now.

His second option was calling you in. Again, Steve would hate the idea. Cheating would make him feel worse than he already did. Paying for it would freak him out. For a progressive guy he was very repressed sexually. Bucky knew in his heart that you were just the balm Steve needed to soothe this ache.

When he brought up the idea, of course Steve shot him down. After lots of talking he got him on board. “Look, Stevie. Don’t think of it as sex. It’s therapy. It’s anger management. She’s the best there is. Plus, you literally cannot hurt the girl. So you don’t need to hold back. I’m giving you her number. Call her. Until you have assured me you’ve taken care of this problem, you’re on the bench.”

“What?! You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack, pal. Let me know when it’s done.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For three days that little piece of paper in his pocket beckoned him. Anytime he traced his finger over it, it felt like it would set him on fire. Not holding back sounded amazing. Though he didn’t know what you looked like, he imagined fucking you until you were a stupid babbling mess. So drunk on his cock that you couldn’t move.

He dialed your number. Each ring of the line sent shivers up his spine. After the third ring you answered. The sound of your voice almost made him come in his pants. He set the appointment and that brings us to him shredding napkins in a hotel bar.

He smelled you when you walked in the bar. Rich jasmine perfumed the air and beckoned him to you. Each clack of your stiletto on the tile was a symphony. Your laugh was a melody he wanted ingrained in his skull for eternity. When you held out your hand he nearly drew you in for a kiss right there. But, ever the gentleman, he shook your hand and offered to buy you a drink.

He noted that your nails were filed into sharp points and the red lacquer matched your lips. When he kissed you he knew you’d drag them over his bare skin. Your body looked soft. Nothing like the others who got the serum. You actually had tits. Curves. The dress you wore hugged each and every hill and plateau like the material was poured over you.

“Captain Rogers. So nice to meet you. Jamie has told me a lot about you.” Your voice was warm and calm. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when you called Bucky Jamie. Only his sisters had ever called him that.

“Is Bucky um…your client?”

A smile spread on your face as you drew up memories of the times you spent tearing apart hotel rooms and safe houses with Bucky. “Yes. Is that ok? He said you shouldn’t have a problem.”

“It’s fine. Should we go upstairs?”

“Of course. Have you ever been here before? The rooms are stunning. I took the liberty of reserving the penthouse. We won’t be disturbed up there.” You went on to make small talk. Steve couldn’t concentrate with your hand on his arm. It felt like your flesh was searing his skin.

When the elevator jolted to a stop you let him go and walked ahead into the den of iniquity. He counted at least ten breakable surfaces just in the living area. He would have to borrow Tony’s credit card to replace the furniture when he was done with you. He kept staring at your vermilion lips moving but didn’t comprehend what you said.

“You ok, Steve?”

“I’m sorry. I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be. I’m going to take very good care of you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, ma’am.”

“Ma’am? There will be none of that perfect little soldier shit in here. Jamie said you needed to relax. To release some energy. That’s what I’m here for. I’m not here to pressure you though. I’ve cleared my schedule. We’ll take all the time you need.”

You handed him a glass of familiar brown liquor. When he inhaled the sting made his nose wrinkle. “Thor?”

You chuckled to yourself, “Loki. So, Steve, before we get started I have some ground rules. Number 1: I can’t regenerate so no amputations I’m sorry to say.”

His eyes grew wide, “Do people ask you for that?”

“Oh, honey. You have no idea. Rule number two, I’m not immortal. If I use my safe word, which is Poughkeepsie, I expect you to stop what you’re doing. And, lastly, please refrain from knocking my teeth out. No one likes a toothless hooker.”

“Because you can’t regenerate.”

“He can be taught! Now, here’s the part where you tell me your rules. What you like. What you don’t like. Other than the list I just gave you, nothing is off limits.”

He downed the glass of liquor and adjusted in his seat. Without prompting you, you poured him another drink. “I don’t want to hit you. I can’t.”

“Right. Jamie filled me in.” A flash of annoyance passed his face. What else had dear old Jamie told you?

“Also, please don’t call me Stevie. My fiancé calls me Stevie. I hate it but I love her so…don’t. Other than that I have no idea where to start.”

You kicked off your shoes and joined him on the couch. Close enough so he could feel your warmth but just out of his reach. You sat on your feet and rested your arm on the back of the sofa. “We can talk for a while if you want. Most of my clients prefer to keep their personal lives outside if you catch what I mean.”

“I’d like to talk. How long have you been this way?”

“Forty years. I’m a teenager compared to you and Jamie though.”

“You volunteered to be part of the experiment?”

“Sort of. They offered me money to take an experimental drug. I was already a whore. I had been out on the street since I was 17. Barely out of my prom dress and I was turning tricks. I wasn’t anything special. I was expendable. If I died, who would have cared? But it worked and here I am.”

He was starting to relax a little. “How did you get away?”

“I was ‘rescued’ by the X-men. They tried to recruit me but I bailed. Word of my abilities got around to some really bad really rich guys and I built a hearty clientele. Now it’s not just rich guys. It’s senators, ambassadors, CEOs. They pay for the lavish lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed.” You moved closer to him. He let you rest your hand on his shoulder.

“And how did you meet Bucky?”

You could hear the jealousy tinting his voice but you didn’t press it. “At Sister Margaret’s of course. He stumbled in one night. He was looking for information on you if I remember correctly. He looked so lost. I helped him. Then he ran off to Romania and Wakanda. I thought I’d never see him again. It was just as well. I was too soft for him. A few months later he came back to New York with a new beau on his arm and a smile on his face. I was happy for him.”

The memory you painted made Steve smile. Through Bucky, the two of you shared a history that put him at ease. It felt like he was catching up with an old friend.

“Tell me about your fiancé.” He hesitated, “Oh come on, Captain. I showed you mine.”

After a beat he relented. “Her name is Kim.” He pulled out his phone to show you a picture.

“She’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah. She is.” He stared at the screen all doe eyed. “What you see is this what you get with her. She’s sexy and smart as hell. Gotta be if you work for Tony. She makes me laugh. We are just so good together. It’s just that, sometimes after a mission, I need to let go but I can’t with her. I feel like I’m gonna break her.”

“Falling in love with a normal person does have its pitfalls. So what can I do for you tonight, Steve?” The way his name fell from your lips made his cock twitch. He wanted everything but didn’t know how to ask for anything. He looked down at his lap. You wrapped your hand around his jaw digging your claws into his flesh. You turned his head so that he was looking at you. “What do you want, baby?”

He drew in his breath with a sharp hiss. “Make me feel something.” With that you covered his lips with yours. Your tongues massaged and probed. He kissed you like he was going off to war. His hands gently skated up the silky material of your dress. You positioned yourself on his lap without breaking away. You pressed your pussy down onto his aching cock.

You felt his muscles tense with every drag of your wet cunt over his pants. He was holding back. “Touch me, Steve. Let go.” He whined in your mouth when you tore open his shirt. Your nails raked patterns on his chest. “Come on, Steve. You are holding out on me. I’m not Kim. Use me, Steve.” You pulled his head back by his hair. His breath was coming out in short pants. You clamped down on his nippled making him arch into you.

He was afraid. His mind raced and heart beat out of his chest. You stood up to unzip your dress. You had nothing underneath. You pulled him up to you with no effort to remind him of your strength. He wanted to grab you and smash you into the wall but he stood paralyzed with fear. You undid his belt and divested him of the rest of his clothing. You ran your nails up and down the shaft of his cock “You’re so hard for me, Steve. Must be painful. Do you want to fuck me?”

“Yes,” he said in a strained whisper.

“Then do it.” You pushed him and he stumbled back but didn’t lose his footing. “You’re in control here. Do to me what you’ve always dreamed of doing to Kim.” You shoved him again.

“Stop talking about her.” He was getting angry. This is exactly what he needed.

“You don’t want to break the poor baby do you? Come on, Steve. Show me what you want.” You shoved him again. His face was red and the tip of his cock leaking. You had to find the right button. The right sore spot to exploit. “Are you afraid you’ll like it too much? That Kim will never be able to satisfy you again? Poor itty bitty baby can’t measure up for her Stevie?”

That was it. He reared back, opened his hand and slapped you across your cheek. You brought your hand to your face in shock. His eyes were pleading, “I’m so sorry…..” Before he could finish his sentence you were on him again. Your kiss was hungrier. He held you tight in a bruising grip.

He slammed you against the wall where it shattered like a spider web under your weight. You grabbed hold of his cock lining it up with your sopping folds. He slammed into you over and over pulling sinful moans out of you. You reached your peak and spiraled into your first release.

In an instant he had the side of your face smashed on a glass top table. Without warning he was inside you again. He wound his hands in your hair and pressed harder against your head. Hairline fractures formed in the glass threatening to shatter. A shard dug into your cheek causing rivulets of blood to fill the open cracks forming. You envisioned your face being cut to ribbons. That was definitely breaking rule number three. “Poughkeepsie! The glass, Steve.”

“Fuck. Sorry, honey.You ok?”

“Yeah. Keep going.” He picked you up and bent you over the couch. One massive hand wrapped around your throat, the other choking his cock. He pumped a couple of times and then eased back in. His free hand pinched and rolled your clit. Your pussy fluttered around him wildly. It wasn’t long before his rhythm went erratic. “I’m close, baby. Come with me.” His words were your undoing. He squeezed harder on your throat and when you fell apart with a choked out moan. His body hunched over yours and he clamped down hard on your shoulder, the satisfying copper taste of your blood filled his mouth. He wanted to consume you. To drink you in. With a roar he shot thick ropes of his spend deep into your womb and didn’t stop until every drop was out.

You gasped for air when he finally let you go. “Jesus fuck” you choked. “How do you feel?”

“Outstanding.” A loud banging on the door startled him. When he turned to you, you were lying on the floor grinning like a cat.

“Well get ready because that would be round two.” He looked at you confused when Bucky barged in.

“It smells like sex in here!” He shouted from the foyer. He bounced into the room surveying the damage. He let out a long appreciative whistle, “You do her good, Stevie? It looks like you did.” His demeanor changed when he saw your face swollen on one side and bleeding on the other. “Oh, baby. Look at you.” He flicked Steve in the ear, “You broke rule three!”

“It’s ok, Jamie. I’m good. See?” you opened your mouth wide, “Still have all my teeth.”

Steve went to the bathroom to grab a towel while Bucky laid next to you on the floor. “You look so pretty right now, doll. Stevie marked you up good.”

“He doesn’t like it when you call him that.” He licked the bruises on your neck and tweaked your nipple.

“I know. That’s why I do it.” Your giggle turned into a gasp when his teeth grazed the top swell of your breast.

Steve came back and started wiping the blood from your face and shoulder. “We should put some ice on your cheek, honey.” He went to clean up your snatch when Bucky stopped him.

“I’ll do that part, Stevie.” He crawled between your legs and started lapping up all of the juices that mingled inside. Any time Bucky ate your pussy you went stupid. Your whole body felt like melting.

“I should give you some privacy.” But when Steve went to stand up, Bucky grabbed his cock that was growing painfully hard again.

“Stay, Steve. Please.” You looked at him through your lashes and he couldn’t resist.

Bucky spit the mixture of cum and saliva into his palm and started jerking Steve’s cock while he rubbed himself through his pants. He sucked on your clit and bummed to make it vibrate.

Steve planted soft kisses over your swollen cheek while you moaned “Oh my…Jamie…that feels so good, daddy.”

“Did Stevie make you come, pretty baby?”

“Oooh. Yes, daddy. Twice. It felt so good.”

“Want him to make you come again? I’ll bet he wants to. Don’t you, Stevie?” Steve was thrusting into Bucky’s hand, unable to speak. Bucky knelt back on his heels and brought Steve’s face close to his, “Don’t you want to make her come again, Stevie?”

“God, yes.” He shoved two fingers into your mouth which you happily sucked. That gave him an idea.

“Think she can take us both at the same time, Buck?”

Bucky chuckled, “You naughty boy. Of course she can. You want us both in that pretty pussy, kitten?”

You were giddy at the thought. “Please, daddy. Stuff my pussy.” You straddled Steve and Bucky knelt behind you. Steve went first. You sank down on him savoring the fullness. You ground down on him letting your clit rub against his pubic bone.

Bucky pulled your head back, “Come on his cock, baby. I know it feels good. I used to love it when Steve filled my ass. Soak it for me. Make a mess for daddy.” You shuddered and sank your claws into his chest.

“M’not gonna last long, Buck. Her pussy feels too good.”

“Ok, Princess, lean forward and let daddy in.”

The stretch was exquisite. The feeling of his fat cock ripping you apart nearly pushed both you and Steve over the edge. When Bucky was sure you weren’t actually tearing open, he began to move. So did Steve. Their cocks rubbed against each other building up a rhythm that had you babbling and drooling on Steve’s chest.

“Fuck fuck fuck. Gonna come. I love you both so fucking much. My two favorite fuck dolls. You ready, Stevie?”

“So ready.”

“What about you, Princess?” You nodded. All three of you let go at the same time. Your eyes rolled back into your head and you were limp on Steve’s chest. They both pulled out but you didn’t trust yourself to move yet.

“You ok, honey? Shit, Bucky. I think we broke her.” You buried your face into his chest hair giggling.

“I’m fine.”

“Fine?” Bucky smacked your ass, “You had better be more than fine. Lemme see your face.”

You were really starting to swell. Steve winced when he looked at you. “I’m really sorry.”

You kissed the top of his nose, “Don’t be. It’ll be gone by morning. You’d better get home. Your girl must be worried sick.”

“Nah, I told her I was taking him out to unwind. We’ll say he crashed with me.”

You looked at both of them quizzically, “Does she know you two were a thing?”

“Nope,” they said in tandem.

“Nice.” You rolled off of Steve right into Bucky’s arms. “Someone order room service. I’m fucking starving.”

Bucky grabbed the phone and ordered one of everything. “Uh, don’t charge it to the room. I have a credit card number for you.” He rattled off the digits from memory and hung up.

“Jamie, who’s credit card was that?”

“Tony’s.” The three of you started laughing uncontrollably.

You gorged yourselves, slept, fucked again and slept some more. The next morning when Steve awkwardly tried to pay you you shoved the wad of cash away. “As if, sugar.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“Glad I could be of service. You know how to reach me. Call me. Anytime.” You gave him the sweetest kiss and let him hug you for as long as he needed.

“You coming back to the compound, Buck?”

“Nah. I paid for the whole weekend.”

“Jamie, you haven’t paid me in ten years. Bye, Steve.”

When he shut the door he heard Bucky growl and you laughing like a teenage girl. It warmed his heart. He texted Kim to let her know he was on his way to the compound. She was working all day so probably wouldn’t meet him.

He walked in humming to himself trying to find everyone. He saw Nat first.

“Bucky fix you up?”

“Yeah. It was a good talk.”

“Uh huh. How is Y/N?”

#steve rogers fanfic #captain america x reader #steve rogers x reader #marvel #mcu x reader #captain america smut #enhanced reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x enhanced reader

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stayextrafrosty · 3 years

Text

All That I Want Is to Finally Be Honest

Summary: 3x09 coda. Michael creates a truth serum in an attempt to help Liz get information out of Jones. He has no one to test it on so he injects himself. Well, he doesn’t expect Alex to come visit. And while they’ve been talking about things more, there’s still stuff Michael needs to say.

A/N: When I say this is porn with feelings… I mean that in the most intense way. The emotions come out full force here. Title taken from the song "Back To U" by SLANDER. This was supposed to be done before 3x10 but alas.

Read on AO3 // Masterlist

“I told you, Ortecho. The serum is done but I need to test it. Are you a willing subject?” Michael said as he swirled the liquid in the beaker.

“I told you I’m busy making more of the alien suppressant. Call Isobel. She’s been itching for things to do.” Michael snorted and hung up the phone. He knew she was right. Isobel had been poking her nose into everything Michael and Liz had been working on. She offered to help but there wasn’t a whole lot she could do under the circumstances. But maybe it would be a good idea to put her under oath for a little bit.

He reached for the phone in his pocket, groaning when he saw the ‘no service’ message. This bunker was so hit or miss with it these days. He wished he could send actual thoughts to Isobel as opposed to just feelings over long distances.

Carefully setting the beaker in a holder, he stepped away from the table, wiping the sweat from his palms on his jeans. He climbed up the ladder, pushing the hatch open with his mind. The sun nearly blinded him as cool air whipped around him. He sat himself on the edge of the hole, waiting for his phone to connect again.

As soon as it did, it buzzed a few times as text messages came in. Three separate messages from Isobel spit balling theories and asking if he needed anything from her. He had tried to tell her to get some rest but she was determined to be the one to take Jones down. She had planned a date with some new girl in town but every time Michael asked about it she said there were other things to focus on.

Date.

He and Alex had made plans but of course they got interrupted. By a machine of all things. A machine that made him hallucinate Michael’s mom. Practically throwing every single doubt about them in his mind right back in his face. Alex didn’t want to tell him the full extent of the things she had said. The things he was thinking. Michael understood for the most part. He wasn’t keeping things from him to be cruel. Just the opposite. Alex was trying to protect him. Alex was always protecting him.

Michael sent a quick message back to Isobel about the serum and how he needed help testing it. The phone buzzed again in his hand and he couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face. He was only thankful Sanders wasn’t around to tease him about it. Alex’s name was at the top of the new message. He tapped the notification to re-open their conversation. He wanted to pretend he didn’t spend the time rereading their conversations since Michael had kissed him. Until then, Michael had thought Alex wasn’t the type to use emojis, but they were being sprinkled throughout more messages.

‘Hope your day is going well’ followed by a blushing smiley face. Michael laughed and shook his head.

‘It would be better if I could see you’ he sent back. He started to climb back down the ladder but his phone buzzed again. He opened the message, being greeted by Alex’s small smile and half lidded eyes as he rested his head on his arm on his desk. He wasn’t fully recovered and Michael could tell. But even with the dark circles, he was still the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

Michael had tried to get him to take a few days off but Alex was insistent. He swore that he would only work on the machine in the way they discussed from now on. And Michael was pretty sure Eduardo was now watching him.

The soft smile still made his heart flutter. This is real. They could casually send pictures of themselves and it wasn’t weird. Michael could see Alex whenever he wanted. And god he loved him. He loved him so much he could jump out of his skin every time he heard his name. There was a twitch in his fingers that told him only to touch Alex. Hold him close and never let go.

“You’re gunna fall if you keep standin’ on the ladder like that!” Michael jumped at Sanders voice. The old man had his eye brow raised and arms crossed as he stood outside of the office trailer.

“Just trying to get some fresh air,” Michael called back as a gust of cold wind whipped through the yard. Sanders shook his head and moved back into the trailer. Michael climbed down the ladder but left the cover off, hoping that would let his phone continue to get service.

He began filling syringes with the serum. His phone buzzed on the table and he briefly glanced at it to see Isobel’s response. She had found something to occupy her time apparently; investigating a lead about where the new alien had disappeared to.

Michael sighed and looked at the needles. He supposed he could just test it on himself. But if it worked properly (which it should) would Sanders really want to listen to all of the stories he had kept secret all this time?

“Guess I don’t have a choice,” he mumbled to himself. Picking up one of the syringes, he watched the green liquid shift. He slipped his flannel off his shoulders, tossing it onto the table. The black t-shirt he wore underneath didn’t do much to keep the cold from the open hatch from sinking in. He pushed a small amount of the serum out of the needle before slipping it into his arm.

“Mad scientists always test on themselves, right?” he asked nobody as he set the empty tube back on the table.

He felt nothing as he walked around the bunker, tapping a pen on the notebook in his hand. Had it really been a bust? Maybe he needed to use more of the powder. He used significantly less than Liz did in her alien killing poison but maybe he needed just a bit more to influence the prefrontal cortex.

He mumbled a curse as he made a note. He didn’t have time to remake this crap a million times. Jones was out there and who knew—

A wave of dizziness washed over him, sending him to his knees. He tried to pull himself up by grabbing the table but the room spun. He missed every attempt to grab the metal edge. Black creeped in at the edge of his vision. He let himself collapse to the floor and he rolled onto his back. Michael fought to keep his eyes open for as long as possible but the promise of sleep was too tempting.

“—rin! Guerin! Come on wake up. Don’t you dare leave me now… Michael!”

Alex’s voice was distant, like he was underwater. There was a feint pressure floating across his upper body, poking and prodding. His head radiated pain but it was slowly fading. He began to feel like he was floating as opposed to the hard surface he had been laying on. But at least feeling was starting to return to his body.

“Michael, please. I’m begging you to open your eyes. Twitch your fingers. Scrunch your nose. Anything.” Alex was louder now, as though coming from right above him. He finally oriented himself enough to recognize that his head was elevated. A trembling hand held his own, obviously trying to stop shaking by squeezing harder. Something wet dripped onto his cheek.

“Damnit, Michael!” Alex choked out a sob. Michael summoned all the energy he could and squeezed his hand. He heard Alex gasp above him and then he was squeezing back. Another hand brushed hair off his forehead and traced down the side of his face. Michael would have shuddered at the feeling of his hands but he still didn’t have much movement in his body.

Instead he swallowed and tried to make some kid of sound. Any word that would sooth Alex. He just ended up with a clipped groan. Still Alex seemed to release a sigh of relief.

“Michael. Can you hear me? Are you ok?” Michael just made another strangled sound and gave a barely there squeeze to his hand. He focused his efforts to opening his eyes instead. He wanted to see Alex.

The dim lights above him still felt too bright and everything was blurry. He could vaguely make out the form of Alex’s head bent over him. He blinked a few times, trying to clear the fog in front of his eyes. As his focus sharpened, he met Alex’s wide eyes. Tear tracks stained his cheeks, and a small smile found its way to his lips.

“I’m ok,” Michael managed to croak out. Then Alex was bending down and pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. Michael would have responded but he was pulling away too soon.

“Wait… do it again,” Michael mumbled. Alex shook his head.

“Let’s at least get you sitting up.” He groaned as Alex lifted his shoulders and helped him turn so he could lean against the counter. Michael noticed his position on his knees. How long had he been sitting like that with his head in his lap? It was probably uncomfortable at best, painful at worst. He moved sluggishly to grab Alex’s arm and pull him off his knees to a sitting position next to him.

“You don’t have to worry about me so much. But I love that you do.” Michael wanted to correct himself. Take back the second part. It was still too soon.

“What happened? Did someone come hurt you?” The new anger in his voice was barely contained. Michael blew extra air out of his nose in a laugh and shook his head.

“No. I stuck myself with a serum I’ve been working on for Liz. I needed a guinea pig and no other alien was around. I think I used too much of the yellow powder and knocked myself out. No big deal.” He reached over to rest a hand on Alex’s thigh and squeezed gently. “There’s no need to be angry. But the fact that you are makes me love you more.” Stop talking! He was screaming at himself.

Alex sucked in a breath and turned his face away, but Michael caught the blush that overtook his cheeks. He let himself slide to the side, resting his own head on Alex’s shoulder. They sat in silence for a moment and the fog in his head continued to clear.

“What kind of serum was it?” Alex asked quietly.

“Supposed to be a truth serum. The idea was that once we over power Jones, we stick him with it and he tells us all the secrets of the universe. How to swap Max and Jones back into their proper bodies. History of our home planet and the War. Stuff about us.” He knew that this was more information than he was asking for but he couldn’t stop talking. “Did you know I’m immune to fire? That was a hell of a discovery. Spent the better part of a day setting my hand on fire to see if it did anything. Never did. There really was an irony in you telling me that you��d burn the world down for me.”

“Michael…”

“Sure you’d burn the world but did you ever consider I would walk through fire for you? That maybe the world is already burning but it doesn’t matter because I can withstand it all. Just for you.”

Suddenly a hand was covering his mouth and Alex was staring at him so intently Michael thought he might be reading his mind. Tears pricked at the edges of his eyes and his breathing was shaky, as though Michael had overwhelmed him.

“I.. think the serum works,” Alex said quietly. Michael wrapped his fingers around his wrist gently, pulling his hand away from his mouth, but not too far.

“I love you, Alex.” He pulled his hand back to his lips, pressing them to his palm. “And I should have said that to you so much earlier.”

Michael could see the way Alex fought against the smile. He breathed out a half laugh and looked anywhere except him.

“Tell me that when you haven’t drugged yourself,” Alex teased gently.

“Alex, I can’t lie.”

“I know. But I want you to tell me when you’re ready.”

Michael kissed his palm again, then moved his hand slowly down his cheek and placed it on the back of his neck. Alex slipped his fingers into his curls, nails scratching lightly at his head.

“I want to kiss you,” Michael said softly, cupping Alex’s jaw and running his thumbs over his cheeks. He let one go just far enough to press against his bottom lip, pulling it down. Alex’s lips parted as his hand threaded through Michael’s hair tightened.

“You don’t have to ask, you know,” he responded, breathless.

Michael couldn’t help the shudder that ran down his spine. He leaned forward, resting his head against Alex, just breathing in the smell of him. He brushed their lips together and Alex gasped. The small sound sent a thrill through Michael. His heart fluttered and his stomach twisted with nerves.

“I want you,” Michael mumbled.

“You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere.”

His body trembled as the words warmed every part of his body. Need settled between his legs as he rolled himself to straddle Alex’s thighs. His free hand landed on Michael’s hip as the hand in his hair tugged him closer, brushing their lips against each other again.

Michael hadn’t been this nervous about intimacy in years. This was Alex after all. They communicate with bodies and moans. It’s the way they understand each other. They always fit together so well. Filling in the cracks of each other and making something more beautiful than when they were apart.

Alex was the one who closed the distance between them, capturing Michael’s lips, stoking the fire under his skin. He moaned softly, pressing his hips against Alex.

They had kept their kisses chaste since the night at the Pony, neither wanting to rush into this before they knew where they were going. But Michael had been craving Alex for almost three years. To have him wrapped in his arms as sweat eased the movement of their bodies. He didn’t want to wait anymore. He couldn’t.

Alex tugged on his hair with one hand and his t-shirt with the other. Michael’s hands were moving down to the unbuttoned flannel. He shoved it off his shoulders to expose the white shirt underneath. Alex only released him to chuck the shirt somewhere to the side before he was grabbing at the hem of his shirt and pushing it up.

Michael separated for a moment as he gripped Alex’s shoulders, running his fingers over the collar of his shirt. He felt the cool press of metal and remembered the dog tags Alex had taken to wearing.

His mind wandered to the way they would move against Alex’s chest. The way they would intensify the feeling of Michael’s warm fingers as he traced the chain on his skin. He groaned as he also realized that it was something he couldhave.

Michael kissed Alex again, grinding down against him. He wanted to make sure he knew just how badly he wanted him. Alex shoved his hands under his shirt, fingers splayed over his stomach and then moving to his sides and eventually his back. Alex scratched him lightly as he pulled him closer, encouraging the movement of his hips more.

He shuddered and cursed against his lips. He felt like a teenager again. Like he might come undone without even getting their pants off.

“Wait,” Michael mumbled, breathless. Alex pulled away immediately, looking almost scared that he had done something wrong. Michael smiled warmly at him before crushing their lips together one last time. He only held it for a couple seconds before he was pushing himself off the floor. He grabbed Alex’s hands on the way up, using his telekinesis to help lift him to his feet also. Alex looked around, shocked in a way. Michael was a bit startled too. The pollen was supposed to suppress their powers. Maybe the amount he used was too small to have a real effect. Instead of pointing this out, Michael just chuckled and pushed Alex back against the edge of the counter, head dipping to place wet kisses over his neck.

“Come to my trailer,” he said against his throat. “If I’m going to show you just how much I love you, I’ll at least do it in a proper bed.” Alex’s head fell back as Michael’s mouth moved. But he nodded quickly.

Michael forced himself away from Alex, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the ladder. He let Alex climb out first, following closely behind. He shut the cover to the bunker with hardly a glance behind him. He flung the trailer door open next and all but shoved Alex inside, though still cautious of his leg.

Not that Alex was any more patient than he was. Alex grabbed him by his shirt, pulling their bodies flush against each other as Michael locked the door with his mind. Michael’s arms wrapped around his waist as their lips came together again. Alex whimpered as his tongue teased his lip. Michael tugged it between his teeth, groaning at the way it made Alex melt against him.

Alex’s hands dragged down his chest to the hem of his shirt again, yanking it up. They only separated for a moment as Michael finished removing the garment. Michael shoved him backwards onto his bed. He smiled down at him and watched hungrily as he rushed to undo the button on his jeans. All of this the same path they had taken three years ago. But it was different now. Neither was going to run away.

Michael crawled onto the bed, settling between Alex’s thighs as he pushed his shirt up and over his head before capturing his mouth again. They sighed against each other’s lips as their skin moved together effortlessly. The cool metal of the dog tags Alex was wearing shocked Michael, but that only made him want to press closer.

Fingers pulled at his hair and then scratched down his back until they reached the top of his jeans. Michael’s mouth fell open in a silent moan as Alex traced the hem around to the belt buckle. He fumbled with the strap for a moment before he yanked it free and immediately popped the button on his jeans.

Michael shifted back to his knees to admire the beautiful man below him. His face was red, lips swollen and wet as he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth. His eyes were half lidded as he ran his fingers over Michael’s abs and tried to pull him back down by the hem of his jeans. As much as he wanted to go with whatever Alex wanted, he wanted to take it slow. The temptation to just throw all their clothing off and get Alex moaning taunted him. But they could do that any time. No. Michael was determined to show him exactly what he thought of him.

He took Alex’s hands in his, threading their fingers together and pressing them down next to his head. Leaning down again, he kissed Alex slowly, only just barely running his tongue over the seem of his lips. A small whine bubbled up from Alex’s throat as his fingers squeezed Michael’s. Michael rubbed his hips against Alex and they both gasped at the friction.

“I need you,” Alex panted out. Michael hushed him gently as he trailed his lips over his jaw to his neck. Alex’s body arched against him as he sucked at his pulse point. Once he was satisfied with the mark, he moved down past his collarbone and hovered over his heart, breathing over the skin before pressing his mouth against him softly.

He slipped his hands out of Alex’s, letting his fingers just ghost over his arms. Michael continued his movement down his body, leaving small, wet kisses in his wake. His hands followed the same path through the hair on his chest as his mouth worked over his stomach to the trail of hair leading down from his belly button.

“I can never come up with the words to tell you how perfect you are,” Michael breathed against his skin. He pressed his forehead against the bottom of Alex’s ribs as he dragged his fingers down to the hem of his jeans. He felt Alex’s hands run through his hair, scratching and tugging. Michael slipped his fingers into the waistband and began pulling the fabric down.

“Michael, wait,” Alex said. He froze and looked up at him, waiting for further instructions. “Let me take off the prosthesis first.” He pushed himself up to his elbows before Michael stopped him.

“If you’ll let me, I can take it off for you.” Alex’s shoulders sagged as a small smile found it’s way to his face. He nodded slowly and took Michael’s hand, pulling it to his mouth to press a couple chaste kisses to his fingers.

Michael slipped to his knees on the floor. He rolled Alex’s pant leg up, exposing the metal and plastic. He worked quickly with Alex watching him, undoing straps and tugging gently. He set the leg to the side carefully, leaning it against the wall.

He looked back up at Alex and hoped that he didn’t blush from the soft look he was getting from him. He rolled the sock off his stump and set it to the side with the prosthesis. He watched Alex through his eye lashes as he pressed kisses to his knee.

Alex gasped softly and pushed himself up completely so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He took Michael’s face in his hands tenderly, brushing his thumbs over his cheekbones. Michael ran his hands up his legs to his waist and over his stomach. His fingers brushed against the metal of the dog tags when he got to his chest.

He dragged one hand back down to Alex’s hip. The other he let catch on the metal chain. He met Alex’s gaze as their heavy breathing mingled between them. Then Michael tugged on the chain, firmly pulling Alex down toward him.

He pushed himself up at the same time, mouths coming together with a chorus of moans and gasps. Their tongues tasted each other as Michael pushed himself up and Alex back on the bed. Alex’s hands were tangled in his hair, pulling him as close as their bodies would allow.

Michael braced himself with one hand while the other ran down Alex’s body to the waist of his pants again. He grabbed and tugged both the jeans and underwear over his hips. Alex, lifted himself so he could bring them down to his thighs.

He pulled away from Alex to finish removing his clothes, tossing them somewhere to the side. Michael licked his lips as he took in every beautiful inch of him. The firm muscles barely hidden beneath the soft skin. He touched his thighs, the hair tickling his hands. He moved slowly up his thighs and to his hips where his hardness rested between his legs.

Michael avoided touching his cock, instead focusing on massaging everything else around it. He dug his fingers into the soft spot on his hips. Alex rolled toward his touch, sighing blissfully. And he couldn’t help himself, leaning down to press featherlight kisses to the v just below his abs. Alex made a small whimpering sound as he pulled at his own hair.

“So amazing…” Michael mumbled as he continued his line of kisses up over his abs. “Beautiful and strong…” Alex gasped out his name when his hands scratched up his sides and to his arms to hold them above his head. “You were made for me, Alex. I was made to touch you, to kiss you, to live for you, to love you.”

Michael kissed his way back up to his chest, inhaling his scent and hoping that it would be left on his own skin for days. He pressed his tongue over Alex’s nipple briefly before kissing across his chest to the other one. Alex arched his back, pressing his member against Michael’s abs and rubbing. He chuckled.

“Touching you was always the most rewarding part,” he said sweetly before running the tip of his tongue up over his chest and neck and back to his lips. He left only a few centimeters between them as he spoke, “You’re so responsive. I can’t help but want to take you apart.”

“Kiss me, Michael. Now,” Alex ordered. Michael would never deny him anything. Not unless that was the plan. It was about both of them this time. He could play with him in the future. Michael slid his mouth over Alex’s, not being able to stop the smile.

They had a future. And this was only the first of all the ways he would be allowed to love him.

Michael released Alex’s arms and ran his fingers back down his torso to his hips. He pressed the length of his body against him. Alex wrapped his arms around his neck, licking into his mouth and nipping at his lip. Michael moaned softly and rocked his hips against him.

He released Alex to push his own pants and underwear to his knees before kicking them off. He let most of his weight collapse on top of Alex, rolling his hips to rub them against each other. They moaned together as a shudder ran down Michael’s spine.

Alex untangled one of his arms to reach between them. He wrapped his hand around both of them, stroking slowly. Michel groaned into his mouth as his arms started to shake from the effort of holding himself up. He tore himself away from Alex, knowing that if he let this continue, he would finish before even getting inside him. He sat back on his knees, tracing a pattern through the hair on his chest and down to his cock.

He pushed Alex’s hand away from them gently. His panting only increased as Michael took his legs and bent them back slightly. Michael slid down his body so that his mouth hovered over Alex’s now twitching member. Every breath that brushed over him made it jump in anticipation.

He felt Alex’s hand in his hair and looked up at him through his eyelashes. His mouth hung open as his eyes begged for any sort of stimulation. A small bead of precum sat at the tip, threatening to roll down the side.

“You’re so perfect,” Michael said just before taking Alex into his mouth for the first time in years. The salty taste of him was better than he remembered as he slipped most of the way down his shaft. Alex jerked and gasped, tugging on his hair to pull him closer. Michael groaned around him, feeling the way Alex’s fingers tightened again.

Michael rubbed the back of his thighs as he bobbed his head up and down, pushing them open so he could have better access. He let his tongue tease around the head as he slipped further with every down stroke.

“Fuck, Michael,” Alex pleaded. He looked up at him to meet his eyes. He felt the shudder run through Alex’s body as he gasped and twisted his other hand into the sheets on the bed. Then Michael sank down again, taking him to the back of his throat and burying his nose in the short hair at the base.

Alex’s hips jerked up and Michael suppressed his gag reflex by gripping his thighs harder. Alex tugged his already swollen bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes fluttered closed and head fell back. Michael wanted to imprint the image of him blissed out into his brain.

He lifted his head until just the tip with in his mouth before sinking back down in one movement. Alex cried out in pleasure as his fingers pulled on Michael’s hair again. He continued the pattern a few more times before pulling off completely. Alex whined in protest. Michael chuckled and smirked up at him. Then he trailed the tip of his tongue down his length and over his balls, sucking one into his mouth briefly before moving to his ass.

Alex’s back arched again as he tried to press closer to Michael’s tongue. He mumbled something incomprehensible when he started teasing his rim. Michael shifted his hands down to his ass, spreading him open.

“Not… enough…” Alex panted out. Michael nipped at the skin of his ass lightly.

“Just be patient, darlin’,” he said sweetly before pressing a kiss to his skin. Then he pressed his tongue flat against his hole while his thumb pushed just past the rim. Alex’s hips rocked more as small moans slipped from his lips.

Michael worked his thumb in slowly, letting the tip of his tongue slip in alongside it. He pressed against Alex’s walls, urging him open. Alex groaned from above him and grabbed handfuls of his hair, yanking him back up his body to crush their mouths together. Michael didn’t exactly fight hard against it.

He kept his fingers at his hole, slipping his middle finger in and out of him teasingly. Alex bit at his lips and shoved his tongue into his mouth. It stole Michael’s breath away, feeling the desperation he poured into the kiss. He only hoped Alex could feel the same from him. He didn’t get the chance to reciprocate for long because Alex pulled away, instead pressing their foreheads together.

“Tell me you have lube,” he said, voice shaking and breathy.

“Of course.” Michael reached out with his mind to the lowest drawer under the sink. He floated the bottle toward them and dropped it on the bed. “You saying you didn’t like my attentions?” he teased with a smile.

“I liked it too much,” Alex said, brushing their lips together and rocking his hips against Michael’s fingers. “I need to feel you inside me again. To be as close to you as possible. To lose track of where I end and you begin.”

He couldn’t stop the smile that broke out on his face. Michael would do anything for Alex. Bend to his every whim and request.

So he removed his finger from Alex’s hole and instead wrapped his arm around his waist and the other around his back. He pulled him up so he was sitting on his thighs as Michael kneeled on the bed. Alex wrapped his arms around his shoulders, holding him close.

Michael kissed him again, soft and slow. He gripped Alex’s skin, digging his fingers into the muscle. Alex sighed and held him tighter in return. When he was sure he was balanced on his thighs, he reached for the bottle and flicked the cap open. Realizing he was going to need to hands, he pulled his lips away from Alex. There was a small noise of protest that Michael silenced with a quick peck.

“Hold on to me,” he breathed over his lips.

“I wouldn’t dream of letting go.”

He released Alex slowly as their lips slipped over each other again. Michael squeezed a small amount of lube on his fingers. He rubbed it around for a moment before finding Alex’s entrance again. Alex gasped as his fingers prodded the opening.

There was little resistance to the first finger from Michael’s earlier attention. The lube made the second finger slip in just as easily. Alex sighed his name as his hips started rocking slowly. The friction against Michael’s own cock was wholly welcome, making him moan.

Michael twisted and pressed his fingers inside him, looking for the sweet spot he knew would earn him more noises. Alex’s mouth fell open when he finally found it and he could only grin as he swallowed the moan that tumbled from his lips. He massaged his prostate. A few soft strokes followed by a firm press.

Alex’s cock twitched and throbbed against his with every movement. As much as Michael wanted to continue like this until Alex made a mess of them both, he didn’t want to wait anymore. He pulled his fingers out slowly, giving one more teasing press to the spot.

Michael grabbed the lube bottle again, pouring more onto his fingers. He snapped the lid closed and tossed it to the side, hardly registering the sound of it falling to the floor. He carefully shifted Alex back so he could cover his cock in the lube.

Once fully coated, he pulled back to rest his forehead against Alex’s. They both panted as they met each other’s eyes. Michael wrapped an arm around his waist.

“You want this?” he asked a final time. Alex just beamed at him before pulling him back in for a searing kiss.

“Yes. I need you, Michael.”

Michael could only groan in response, claiming his lips again. He lowered Alex back to the bed and he almost immediately wrapped his legs around his waist. With his free hand, Michael guided his cock to Alex’s hole. He pressed himself against the rim, slowly rolling his hips until the tip entered him.

Michael saw stars behind his eyes as he tried to keep his movements slow. The temptation to bury himself in the warmth of Alex was overwhelming. Their moans overlapped as he pushed farther in. He nearly fell forward, needing to brace himself using the arm that had been hold Alex.

“I love you, Michael,” Alex suddenly rushed out. Michael’s eyes opened to meet Alex’s. He had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on his face. His eyes were half lidded but still completely focused on Michael. “I love you,” he repeated.

His heart soared higher than ever. He never thought he would know this kind of joy. But the man wrapped in his arms was offering it so openly and completely. No extra conditions. Just all the love he could possibly give.

A tear spilled down Michael’s face as he pushed himself completely into Alex. Their mouths fell open and Alex refused to look away from him. He pulled out slightly and pushed in again, this time hearing the moans fall from his own lips.

“God, Alex…” he sighed, letting his head fall to his shoulder as he continued the steady thrusting of his hips.

Michael pressed his lips to his shoulder before sucking on the spot, massaging a mark into his skin. Alex moaned softly as his hips came up to meet Michael’s next thrust. He scratched his nails up and down Michael’s back, distracting him from his rhythm. His hips jerked forward roughly once, making them both gasp at the feeling.

He picked up his rhythm again, moving faster, starting to chase the high that comes with orgasm. Alex clenched around him, moving his own hips in time with Michael. He stopped holding back his moans, instead letting them vibrate over Alex’s skin.

He could feel Alex’s heartbeat from where their chests were pressed together. It pounded just as hard as his own. Possibly threatening to burst from how full of love it was. Alex’s moans were music to his ears. Small plea’s begging for more finally registered in his brain. And he would never deny Alex.

“I’m so close, Michael,” he whined next to his ear. Michael was on the edge too. So he pulled his head from Alex’s shoulder and kissed him again as he sped up his hips again, trying to match the racing of his heartbeat.

He had lost track of his body. He could only feel Alex wrapped around him, fitting perfectly against his skin. Michael ground his hips against Alex’s ass, breaking his even pattern in an effort to feel more of him.

After that he didn’t know what came over him. His hand was pressing to Alex’s chest as his hips only got rougher and more erratic. He could feel the heat rippling out from his hand. Alex cried out and arched against him, one of his own hands moving to cover Michael’s.

“Alex, Alex, Alex,” he panted out.

“Michael!” He felt the spasm of his body against his own, then the warmth of the liquid running between them.

His own orgasm rushed up to him, no time to even consider pulling out. Not that he even wanted to. His hips thrust forward roughly, burying him inside of Alex as his cock emptied. A long moan accompanied each of his last thrusts until he was shaking from the overstimulation.

Michael collapsed against Alex, laying his head against his chest. Alex’s free hand pet his hair gently as their breathing started to even out. Michael dozed and Alex’s occasional snores let him know he wasn’t the only one. It couldn’t have been that long because the mess between them hadn’t dried.

He pulled his eyes open to see his hand placed firmly over Alex’s heart and his hand still covering Michael’s. He lifted his hand slowly and the bright pink, iridescent handprint seemed to ripple with Alex’s breathing.

“You could have warned me how intense it would be,” Alex said quietly, a light and content tone to his voice. Michael pushed himself up slightly to see his face. The sweet smile that always made his heart flutter was back and internally he sighed in relief.

“Had I known it was going to be I would have,” he said, lifting a finger brush over his cheek. “I’m sorry for the handprint. I didn’t—” Alex pulled him in and kissed him, stopping his apology.

“I’m so happy, Michael. About everything. I love you so much,” he said when he pulled away. Michael smiled at him and pressed another kiss to his lips, lingering just slightly when he pulled away.

“I love you, Alex.” Alex held his face gently with a fondness glittering in his eyes.

“I told you to wait until the serum had worn off,” he joked. The fog in his mind had completely vanished though he couldn’t quite remember when. He was still pouring his heart out to Alex but it was because he wanted to. He never wanted to hide anything from him. He never wanted to lie to him.

“It wore off already. I don’t feel the need to say everything I’m thinking,” he said, inching closer to Alex’s lips again. “But I still want to tell you everything. Because right now, all I can think about is you.”

#malex #malex fanfiction #malex fic #roswell new mexico fic #michael guerin/alex manes #michael guerin #alex manes #coda #3x09 coda

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remsmoonlight · 3 years

Text

— title : a sweet truth

— word count : 2.1k words

— pairing : john wich x reader

— summary : you get an overwhelming need to share with John how you feel, unable to keep it to yourself anymore, leaving only the good to follow.

— warnings : none, issa soft one

note: my first one shot back and it’s john of course! anyways i need to binge the movies again because this man’s voice was difficult to master this time around, now i will be getting to requests now i have indulged myself oops

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* requests are open ! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The dull crackle that runs mindlessly beneath the audio of the radio is the only sound that can be heard illuminating the space of the bedroom where you and John lay contently together. He’d offered to repair the object, or even buy another but you refused stubbornly — remarking that it gives it a certain endearing charm. You had joked that it reminds you of him. In the sense that while it has a flaw, it was able to bring joy and amusement to a person’s life. It’s humbling to know that even the John Wick was human, that he had his flaws despite being difficult to witness them in the flesh.

It took a lot for John to bare the darkest and most damaged parts of his conscience. He couldn’t go another day where his mind leapt endlessly to conclusions, his mind conjuring haunting images of your departing body that would eventually come to pass — to him, it was inevitable. He fully convinced himself he was hallucinating when you had not retreated in fear, with the look of disgust cosying up to your reflection, but the opposite. He is still a man greatly feared by a whole world beneath yours, yet you still gaze upon him with nothing but warmth.

You will your mind to focus on the words from the small object, yet it’s the heat that is emitting from his body in waves that prevent you from fully taking in what is being said, its presence doing more to provide white noise than entertainment. The minor glint in your gaze turns upwards to drag your sight across the body that half lays on top of you.

Like vines, to be found in a twist of limbs that would be almost difficult to distinguish what belongs to who is a common occurrence, the sense of shielded from the scorching realities that the world bares boldly is an addicting concoction that you can only find with him. Your heart swells tenfold at the mere thought of him and being here in such a simple way that holds so much affection just for two people.

“ What ? “

The suddenness of his voice lifts you from your thoughts that run their own race, a shy lift of your lips can be seen twirling gracefully in response.

“ Nothing, I’m just thinking. “

“ Thinking? “ he asks you, a light hint of laughter gently coating the question with a feather-like touch. “ Are you trying to scare me? “

Eyes widen in response to what he says, a heavy burst of air plummeting to the soft mattress below the two of you. “ Don’t be so rude! “ A short chuckle trails behind your reply, secretly loving the cheeky side of his personality coming out to peek out.

You’ve realised that he has a warmth whenever you’re together, but even still he maintains an air of such seriousness you’re surprised he has not collapsed under the pressure of holding such a wall up with his bare hands, these moments are the kind that you paint mentally — a still of this moment in a thousand shades of gold. Upon your first meeting of his, you’d never associate that with him, with how intimidating and stone faced he was, it would be a honeyed lie if someone would have described him in such a way but here he is. Not a honeyed lie but a sweet tasting truth that you never want to be without again.

“ I’m sorry. “ he apologises as the amusement in his tones still very much present that would aim to refer to him as a hypocrite, but it’s not spoken with vitriol, his words directed towards you rarely contain any harshness. “ Tell me, I’m curious. “

It’s a minor debate that dances with only itself, zig zagging with a biro pen that creates a mess of lines converging at multiple points to create a tangle plot point that should not be as complicated as it’s being made out. Neither of you have muttered the L word, not even under your breath in passing and the one dominating emotion you can feel overwhelming your body entirely is incredibly close to it.. but is it too soon? Even as a description? It’s a fear you can feel tickling your neck from behind, whispering stained words of discouragement, but if you have learnt anything, it’s that hiding your feelings will be worse off in the long run. Never can a human being strive for the euphoria of authentic happiness clutched in their fist when they lock away their thoughts and their desires in a box to gather age and dust — leaving behind a hollow shell of what could have been had it the opportunity to bud and grow.

“ Well.. “ you begin, your sight lowering to meet the sight of his neck, unable to look him in the eyes fully and you approach the topic. “ I was thinking about you. “

“ Yeah? “

“ I’m just.. happy. More than I thought I could be and it’s you I have to thank. “ Your shoulders shrug as best they can from your position laying down on the bed.

“ I think I should be the one saying that. “ he replies softly, his words ringing truer than they could ever be realised to be as he leans down to leave behind a ghost of a peck behind your ear. It’s an action that is short and sweet.

Never did John imagine himself being rewarded for being the architect in more tragedies and more horrors than he could ever recall. Though, he soon realised your presence was rather the opposite, a ticket to a greener field void of bloodied bargains and death, and should he keep you in his life that would be an opportunity he would not let pass him by in a sea of missed chances left to drown due to his lack of motivation. He gazes upon you fondly in affection, a hand reaching up to draw mindless circles in the back of your hair, memories of his last bargain to leave his previous life playing before him as if an old gritty movie.

“ Stop it, John. I haven’t done a thing! “ your nose wrinkles as you refute what he says with a bashful glint that explodes in your gaze. After all the time you’d spent together and you still refuse to see yourself in the way John has painted you in —

“ You’ve done more for me than you realise. “

It feels like yesterday you shared your first kiss, fondly remembering how you’d mentally remarked that it’s so unfair that what is between you should be so perfect, a cruel joke were it not to work out. Though your heart is full of gratitude when you still tell yourself that not a worry should be had, your need for a physical reminder as you move your hand to his clothed back — bringing him closer as if to burn a permanent reminder into your fingertips.

“ I guess that’s why we compliment each other so well, huh? “

A wispy sigh plummets, your thoughts and emotions mixing more and more into a blend of intensity as you fully realise just how much you have fallen and adore the man who shares your bed. It has been such a long time you have had these emotions to this degree rouse from, what has felt like, an endless slumber. Yes, there had been a few who had caught your eye, but compared to the substance that has been created and nurtured from you both, they had nothing more than a water drop in a boundless and enduring sea. It’s a hope of yours that you don’t look foolish before him, getting so emotional over something like this, you scold yourself mentally — trying to pull yourself together before you completely crumble.

“ What’s wrong? “

“ It’s nothing, really. “ you shake your head, accompanying the almost denial. You want to let everything in your heart free, but the question is how to without scaring him off. There’s not much that can scare him, but you’d rather not throw a spanner in the flawless equation.

“ You don’t have to tell me, but it might help if you do. “ John lends a soothing weight in your hand as he interlocks your fingers together, leaving the choice completely up to you, refusing to force you to share something that is so personal to you. “ it’s your call. “

“ It’s nothing crazy.. “

The side of John’s brain that has been hardwired to jump to every scenario imaginable — good and bad, is running rampant. Itching to be prepared so nothing is able to disrupt the perfect day dream of a life that had only been made available through television shows and movies, now that he has it, every day he promises to never let it be ruined. Nothing good can ever occur from ripping away the first drop of water that touches a person starved of it for days, only a troublesome path of anger can walk that path on its twisted and turned limbs.

“ I think it’s time that I tell you how I feel, “ you state, your lips almost devouring your lips by how hard they bite them, a lost thought of how you have not drawn a drop of blood seeping into irrelevancy. “ how I really feel. “

“ Right? “

For the first time, John is completely unable to get a read of you. The apprehension that is emitting off you in strong waves is not something that comforts him fully, though the fact that you speak not from anger and have opted to stay in your current position as opposed to fleeing is the only source of relief he can continue to draw energy from. Curiosity is the only thing that dominates his mind, wanting desperately to hear the next part of your statement.

In his silence, your brows furrow purely from your own thoughts. Mainly in the wonder of how you can approach this while sounding as if you have capacity and are not obsessed with him as some are with their idols. You know that would be something that would probably scare him off. Your fingertips lay a random beat on the top of his hand, you nestle closer to him as to make yourself comfortable — this does feel like the right time. Should it not? You remind yourself that it is part of a plan that the universe has for you, that it is part of a bigger picture you are not allowed to know until the final moment.

“ I just, “ you pause, blinking as you gather your thoughts and your words further. “ It’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything remotely close to this. “

Your words are like a cozy kiss goodnight before two lovers depart until the next time they see each other, a warmth that slowly grows in his heart overspills at the sentiment you individually wrap with each word you speak. He can’t help but tip his head ever so slightly, to take in every detail on your features — in his mind, nothing is more so perfect than this moment.

“ What I’m trying to say is, and you don’t have to say anything — “ the rambling leaves your lips so effortlessly, as if to savour the last few moments of normally before the inevitable confession. “ I can’t help but realise how much I am in love with you. “

His eyes widen instantaneously as his features follow suit, his lips part in surprise. With how your speech had begun, it should not have come as a surprise, yet to hear it from your lips is as pleasant as the final summer’s day, surrounded by warmth and an impenetrable energy that shields you from any harm that would befall you. He’d lived the life of a haunting ghost story that it soon became a belief that he was a monster, to hear you in this moment recite something so real is something that is difficult for him to wrap his head around. Maybe he isn’t a monster that has made its peace with the darkness, that there is more for him as a person.

The emptiness is soon replaced by a soft weight on your lips, he has leans down to join you — unable to fight the desire to savour the taste of him as you often do when you kiss. It’s a fight you have not yet one, and it’s a fight you imagine you would prefer losing. Time is no longer a concept, you’re too wrapped up in the concept turned reality that is John Wick, only are you able to concentrate on the burning that his free hand leaves as they slide up and down your waist. If this is a dream, neither of you want to awaken.

“ Who says I’m not feeling the same as you? “

#John Wick imagine #John Wick x reader #john wick oneshot #john wick fanfic #john wick fanfiction

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yoshikoooo · 3 years

Text

Yan Reader x Childe

Warning: Contains material that may be harmful or traumatizing to some readers ⚠️❗❗

Synopsis: Basically You ravaging on some poor guys who happened to hurt Childe.

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“Childe!”

You called in concern unto the mans name as You saw How bloody mess was he again.

"I.. I’m fine"

He weakly said as He leaned at the wall and eventually Sat down. You had many questions to ask, Yet you know its not the time for it, You quickly run to get The first aid kit and ran back to him who was Still on the entrance of your home.

You rushed to open the box and started treating his wounds. You took a deep sigh before talking.

"What happened?"

You Looked at him, A Dangerous smile Curved up your lips, It did sent shivers to the mans body, but he also loved this side of you, Ah~ how he wished you could be more rough with him-

You asked, the tenderness and care present as you tried to be careful with his new wounds, careful enough not to hurt him.

"Nothing much-"

"Darling~ I'm asking you a Question~"

Despite Your Wide smile, The voice within it was scary, It was intimidating, as if a black aura would surely appear behind you, ready to devour the man alive if He dared to lie once again. The ginger man just sigh deeply as he knew You were not going to give up until he spoke the truth.

"I was just killing some Ruin guards on the way, When I got ambushed by some Fatui, They were definitely the traitors That I heard From la signora. At the same time, I was on the mission To also get rid of them, but They weren't that easy to catch since they had visions with them too. When I got them cornered up, Ruin guards suddenly Popped up and Went after me, it was chaotic that they even took that chance to run away... Tsk, I'll make sure to really kill them later. "

He said as His eyes darken at the thought of Killing them. He surely won't just give them death Easily, He's surely going to toy with them until They themselves beg for death like a Damn Worm on the ground, Begging to be stepped at and be crushed to death, Well you would surely do the same.

although, You on the other hand, was furious and enraged at hearing at the news.

'huh? Who dares to touch what's mine?'

You thought as You gritted your teeth, Childe didn't know this side of you, and Surely, You Only have this side For childe. If the brunette man knew this side of you, Oh boy, He would surely love to see the scene wherein you spout sweet, crazy nothings such as claiming him as yours and that no one would touch him and only you, Although hidden in the dark, He Know nothing About you being such a psychotic woman that would crush and smash every being that dared to come in between you both. He only knew you as the Kind and adorable you, one that would be afraid to point a knife to someone nor even dare kill an animal without hesitating. It wasn't his fault for not knowing the other side of you, after all It was your choice to hide it, as a ugly part of you was afraid to show him such Dirty side of you, You were simply just too good with hiding things, Too good that felt like you were trained professionally.

"So.. You're heading out again..? With these injuries..?"

You asked innocently as you poked the wound on his chest softly.

"Haha, I know I'm pushing myself, But there's nothing to worry about, cause Once I finish my business with those guys, I will surely take a Rest!"

He tried to reassure you, and you just nodded, playing along with him.

"Sure, But at least eat before You head out, And I'm not done bandaging your arms since We runned out of bandages, I'll just head out and buy more."

You said calmly as you placed a kiss on his cheeks and he did the same.

"Be fast~"

He said with a cheeky smile making your lips curve upward unconsciously. After that, you head out, The smile on your face faded as you looked up to see the dark sky, wherein the moonlight blessed the land with its light together with the stars, You went to the pharmacy and bought bandages as you told him you would, you also added some other things, But you didn't head straight to home, You Headed straight to a building, A tall and Guarded one at that.

Masked mans Walked up to you.

"Miss Y/n, Do you need something?"

They asked as they bowed to showed respect.

"I Need to talk with la signora, Is she busy~?"

You asked and gave a soft and intimidating smile, as if taking a "No" would surely be the end of them, Making it hard for the Fatui infront of you to talk.

"Hm~? Y/n, Do you need something?"

A woman's voice asked as you looked at the right side to see La signora walking towards you while her platinum blonde hair sways and smile.

"Ah~ signora~ I apologize for the sudden visit" You politely said as You smiled at the tall and fair lady Infront of you.

"It's fine, Lets take this to my office"

She said as she started walking ahead, Letting you follow behind.

The trip on your way to her office was quiet and tense.

She opened the door and the both of you went inside.

"Go ahead and take a seat"

She ordered as she went to her own sit. You Obediently followed.

"Now, State your business"

She sternly said, making you gulp hardly.

" The mission Childe took, Mind If I take over it?"

You headed straight to the point making signora Look at You for awhile before A small chuckle came out.

"Eh? Was The mission too much for the Ginger boy?"

She asked as she leaned her chin on the palm of her hand.

"Of course not, He could Slice their throat in one go If some pest didn't dare to intervene."

You said as you tried defending Your lover, You can't possibly let his fellow harbinger look down on him. only you are allowed to do that to him-

"Yes, of course he can, I heard Ruin guards Suddenly entered the scene and that's where It went All Astray from the plan the Boy had."

She said as she seemed to know the whole situation. She paused as she think about your Question again and smiled as she made the decision.

" Its Fine If you take over, although, I wonder if That childe would Even Allow you to take over~? "

She asked as her light gray eyes sparkled with amusement. She was definitely enjoying this.

"Of course, he surely won't...But in the first place , I wonder if he would even Know about it"

You smiled making the woman Chuckle.

"Ain't you such a Bad girl? letting your boyfriend be in the dark, making a fool out of him?"

She suddenly said making you look at her, displeased at what she said. as if she didn't do the same-

"I'm simply protecting my Beloved childe from the impurities this world has to give."

You said and gave a smile in the end, she just laughed softly.

"Should I send some backups?"

She Asked as she looked at her nails, You stood up.

"No thank You... But a help From you would be nice"

You said and smiled innocently. Making the Lady Look at you, as if she knew What you were asking her for help.

"Do I need to bring their Heads for proof?"

You asked and tilted your head onto the side.

"Their mask and vision is fine"

She answered and sigh deeply before she continued.

"Sure, I’ll help to cover up your involvement in this, You can leave now"

She stated making you smile widely.

"I appreciate it... then This humble one shall excuse herself."

You said as you bowed politely, then you went out as you heard a soft chuckle from the Lady. You thanked the archons as she was willing to cooperate, Your relation with La signora wasn't that bad, It was somehow sort of like a big sister and sister relationship. Although the difference was the Danger lurking behind your backs.

You finally Headed straight home to see your Lovely Childe.

A smile Reached Your lips as you simply thought about childe , You twist the doorknob open and went in, Closing it afterwards.

"That took you long~"

You saw childe pouting on the couch. You placed the things you bought on the table.

"Sorry~ I also looked into some Ointments that would surely heal your wounds faster"

You said as you kissed his cheeks and sat beside him. He slip his arm to your shoulder making you look at childe who was already staring at you, sorrow and mournful feeling evidently filling his eyes.

"Am I really allowed to be with you..?"

He suddenly asked as His beautiful ocean eyes stayed lifeless, Lips curved down. Your heart quickly shattered as you looked at how the air of melancholy surrounded the Man in front of you. You didn't like how his lips would turn downward and the light on his eyes would just disappear like a trace of smoke. This state of him makes him vulnerable, yet you knew, He too only has this side for you, knowing that, A whole sense of relief filled you and your eyes soften.

"I love you, Childe, only you and always you.."

You said genuinely and lovingly, it was short yet his lips finally curved upward making him smile in satisfactory as if It was the right words he wanted to hear.

"I love you too"

He said as he kissed you passionately and deeply, You knew where this is heading, Yet you guys can't possibly do it when he's injured so You pushed him lightly. Once you pulled away he seemed kind of disappointed, You chuckled lightly as how adorable he is.

"I Hope you're not forgetting something."

You said and pointed at the bandages and poke his chest again making him pout like a cute little puppy, You love him so much, Too much that You can't resist the feelings of Killing someone whenever They try to harm or converse with Your Beloved childe.

Once you finished bandaging his arms, You mentioned to brew him some Chamomile tea which he agreed to drink before leaving.

"Chamomile Will help you calm down, Since I know You might push yourself again and Make more wounds"

You nag softly and gave him his drink.

"Yes, Yes~ I'll be careful~"

He playfully said making you nod as if You didn't knew He would literally Injure his self more but you know, That won't happen tonight. You were literally at your limit. Almost every week, he would come home to you with a new wound, and Sometimes You saw How some Fatui talk behind His back, It irritated you. You were itching to Kill them all this time. It was as if those feelings were a a Festering Poison twisting everything Your humane features were.

You patted his head as he drink the tea. Then you drank yours as well.

"wah~ This taste Good~"

He said as leaned back at the couch making himself more comfortable. You smiled as the medicine is working, you actually put some soporific drugs in his tea. You noticed how His eyes seemed to fight his eyelids back from closing.

"Childe? Are you sleepy?"

You asked as you feign ignorance, Your tone never changing, He nodded in response.

"then, take a nap, I'll wake you up after an hour then"

You innocently said as you smiled and caressed his face, You can hear him humming in response as He fell on the pillow. You took a blanket and placed it on him, carefully tucking him in.

You knew the medicine won't work That much for childe, so you decided to work fast, You kissed his forehead and Putted on your coat, Heading outside to Find those Bastards.

"Time to hunt some animals"

Signora Gave you The latest information They have on The Traitors and you quickly went To The place. It's been awhile since you've been active so You felt Excited.

═════════•°•⚠•°•═════════

You smiled and Looked around the area.

'Where are they..-"

You grinned ear to ear as You saw a small camp With some fatui who was gravely injured probably due to Childe.

You walked towards it and they began to be alerted.

" State Your name! "

They shouted as You saw their visions glow while they quickly went to a awkward fighting stance.

" I was right.. These sh*ts really doesn't deserve his time.."

You mumbled as Your vision glow, without even them processing what happened, Their Toes Was already frozen, and You took that chance to take their Vision. Protest and resistance were heard from the two.

‘Hydro.. pyro..’

"heh...So You're the Dogs who Tried to kill MY Childe right..?"

You asked as you tilted your head on the side, making the both man Tremble in fear, They didn't bother to speak a word nor even Move.

That ticked you off. The forest around you started to froze, The green leaves turning Icy Blue, Their brown trunks are now Frozen, the ground getting covered in ice as if you turned a part of the forest into a part of dragonspine.

"Hey, Who do you think you guys are? You're both just some useless sh*t who was given a vision. That's all. Nothing special. Yet I, myself don't understand your idiotic actions that led you to Infiltrate the fatui and even dare to Touch What's mine."

You said while Playing with their visions.

"who would've thought You guys were just some spineless bastard who just got lucky By scratching My beloved childe"

You went to them and took their Mask Off.

Tsk.

"Now, I know what's the use of this mask for"

You disgustingly looked at them and started to back away and sat on a Chair.

"Y-You.. Y-You Monster!"

One of them shouted as He tried to Devour you with his Hydro, but within a snap of fingers it all got frozen, making the man Look at you with horrified eyes.

"eh.. If You want to live, Then try harder with that pea brain of yours. At this rate, A damn hilichurl might be stronger than you despite the both of you having visions. Tsk.. in the first place why the F*ck does someone like you deserve a vision?"

You said while you brush the Imaginary dirt on your coat. You looked at them sternly, as they just Tremble like a damn mouse who got trapped.

" Ah~ This is boring"

You yawned as you looked at the Beautiful moon.

"I'll be kind enough to Teach you guys a lesson before getting rid of you both."

You stretched and summoned 5 Cryo swords, flying around in a high speed as they purposely Miss and Scratch the two fatui.

"aagh!"

"N-No!- Ah!"

Groans and hiss of pain Are heard and You just watched them cry and beg for you to stop.

"What do you mean 'stop?' you Disreputable creatures dares touch what's mine with your dirty hands. you even dared scratch it, You must have wanted to die badly right? Its alright, I'm here, I'll give you all the pain and death you want~!”

You laughed as their groanings continued, Blood Staining the ground and even splashes as they get Scratched deeply. The cryo sword were like dancing waltz, it was beautiful, Every Turn and moves would have red Staining The beautiful color of Ice.

Looking at the scene, Anyone would describe you as a psychotic woman who enjoys Gore and violence. Well they might not be wrong about that since you are actually enjoying the gore scene in front of you, Those thugs that dared to scratch Your one and only childe, Are now screaming in pain, and begging you to stop.

'Ah~ how pleasurable to the ears.'

'Maybe if they didn't bother touching what's mine, They wouldn't have ended up like a damn dirty Pig.'

Minutes passed and it suddenly started to dull you out.

"Speak"

You demanded them as the cryo swords stopped dancing, as if the music on the background Finally ended.

"P-Pleas...e.... K-Kill.. Me! Kill me!"

One of them pleaded as Blood Continued dripping down on his body. You laughed.

"pfft...Don't you know that You look so Pathetic Right now?! Are you guys really the said traitors that even a harbinger had a hard time catching? HAHA! I bet if childe saw this, he would be laughing till He's on his knees."

You said as you hold your stomach trying to gain your Posture back.

"Fine~ since I'm now in a good mood , I'll give you the death you want~"

You simply said as the other person smiled in relief.

You snap your fingers and suddenly, Cryo swords began forming ontop of them, 10....15....26....30.. 37...40...45 and it continued.

You could see how their eyes widened in horror once again.

“W-Why..?! W-Why are you D-Doing this?! We’ve d-done nothing wrong..! “

One of them suddenly asked a question as he screamed in despair making you smile widely.

"hmm..? What do you mean? This is entirely all for love~”

You said and chuckled slightly as You saw how The life in their eyes seemed to fade and perish in an instant.

You snap your fingers once again and one by one, the swords began falling. It was as if Raining swords. What a sight to behold indeed.

You saw how the 2 figure in front of you get stabbed every second, Blood beautifully staining the frozen ground again but harshly this time, and their screaming joining in, making You smile in satisfactory.

You stood up and decided to go back. You called the fatui who was definitely spectating from the orders of La signora down.

"At your service!"

He bowed on one knee.

"The mission is finished"

You said as You handed the Masks and visions to the man.

"I'll relay the Message"

He said and disappeared. You started sprinting back to your house. Throwing the coat away somewhere.

Once you opened the door slowly, You got greeted by childe who is barely standing up on the entrance of your house. He looked confused and hurt, and it sort of pained you.

"Y-Y/n...? Why..?"

He asked as there was confusion evident in his voice. Is he suspecting you? No way. Before he say another word, You cupped his face, as you smiled softly

"A fellow subordinate of yours came to report, Since I felt bad waking you up, I decided to go instead-"

You were cutted off when he took your shoulders, gripping it tightly, making the both of you fell down, despite the medicine working, he still had this enormous strength within him.

"Did Those Sh*ts touch you?"

He asked in a stern voice, A voice that would literally murder anyone. It surely send shivers down your spine, and you clearly liked it.

You smiled to reassure him.

"No, Actually he reported that, Those guys you were after, was found dead, It seems their injuries was so deep that They probably died of blood loss"

You patted his head and he sigh out of relief, leaning towards you as he felt his legs giving up.

"That's good to hear.."

He said as he digged his head unto your neck. you nodded and caressed his head. The warmth Of his body seemed to calm you down too.

" Shall we head to the bedroom? you seem tired."

You concernedly asked as you help him stand up, walking towards the bedroom you both share. once you placed the man on the bed, you joined him as well.

"Rest well, Childe~"

You Whispered and kissed his forehead.

"I love.. you too.. Y/n"

You heard him mumbled sleepily as his eyes finally closed, drifting to dreamland. You stared at childe, The only man that would make you go Crazy If someone dared to steal him from you. He was precious to you, enough that You would surely damn the entire world for him just to make him happy. you would surely despise the Gods and resent destiny If that is what makes him happy. If ever he wanted to burn Liyue, crush mondstadt to pieces and Turn Inazuma to nothing but specks of ashes, You would love to stand beside him and see the artwork The both of you made while Satisfactory pasted on both of your faces.

"You're only mine childe... After all... No one else will ever love you as much as I do. "

You mumbled and gave another peck on his lips and closed your eyes to drift to sleep.

⚛》》»»»◈«««《《⚛

Hi~ It's been awhile, I had aLoT~ of fun writing this, and I hope You did as well in reading it..

I'm so awkward sh*t.

Well, Anyways, You can't spell slaughter without any laughter ~

#yandere #genshin impact #genshin imagines #childe #childe x reader #slight angst #possessive #Childe my little boy #If villain bad why hot #Tehee

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