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#its just not long enough to answer the big questions in life
kirito-said-what · 2 years
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I had only been alive for fifteen and a half years.
Sword Art Online: Early and Late 8; Page 141
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priniya · 9 months
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okay, so i would like to request a theodore nott x reader where reader is like this kind of shy, studious type of girl and theo has had a crush on her for the longest time? like, he always sees her muttering the answers to professors questions and studying in the library and reading in every corner of the castle. maybe she gets dragged to a party by one of her more extroverted friends and ends up hiding away in the corner where theo comes and puts the moves on her?
i've read a few of your fics and adored them, you are such a good writer <33 if you can't get to this ask, i understand. i hope this finds your well <33
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🗺️ SMALL WORLDS
synopsis. being an introvert pushed into a crowd of over extraverts isn’t what you imagined doing on a friday night. good thing that theodore nott seems to be the best extrovert you could ever find to be around.
notes. theodore nott x shy!reader. kind of high school!au
req. i’m like. so in love with that request. liz i love you. its all i needed in my life to feel completed. hope i exceeded ur expectations 🕺 also pride n prejudice reference??
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oh.
theo didn’t expect to see you there. you were never a party person, you hardly ever went out to hogsmeade with your friends or paid attention to something that wasn’t your thrifted, muggle books. however now, you were standing all dolled up in the corner of the room, surrounded by gwen and betty, – who wanted to make sure you’d be okay on your own – anxiously scanning the common room, when the two girls left you.
something in his mind could tell him that the party wasn’t exactly your cup of tea, the huge, loud crowd you were pushed into was probably just giving you a hard time adjusting to the atmosphere. it wasn’t hard to notice as your eyes couldn’t focus on one thing, hands trembled and you were getting pale, so you had to sit on the emerald chair.
“it’s not nice to stare.” pansy nudged him in his ribcage teasingly, catching his attention almost immediately. his best friend had her arm wrapped around ginny weasley’s waist and a drunken smile spread over her lips. “go get ‘er tiger.” she added, watching him roll his eyes and walk somewhere.
maybe he stared a little. and maybe he made it a little too obvious — or obvious enough to get teased for it by his friends. he had to keep his cool or he would probably scare the shit out of you for being such a creep who just stared. not only at the moment, but also in class when you sit somewhere in front of him, or at the slytherin table.
and, to just make clear that theo has been interested in the curious creature you were, he even started coming to the library more often, staying there and pretending to read, when he couldn’t, so utterly distracted by the way your eyes move, or the way you have to take breaks to react to the book you’re reading, or the way you sometimes look his way, but look away the second you make eye contact.
theodore nott has never been a shy type of guy — overly confident, always hanging out with the elite, and looking above on everybody. or maybe that’s what everyone thought, because when he was to make a few steps in your direction, all the traits people knows him for were gone. he felt like a little kid, who wanted to ask his mom a big, important question, but couldn’t let it out of him.
his legs felt wobbly, making him as confused as it was possible. he’s never experienced anything like that over a girl who’s doubtlessly more into the book on her lap than she’d ever been into him. a stupid smile appeared on nott’s face the second you brought your gaze higher, falling on his lightly flushed face.
“uh, hi.” you struggled to let out, a little flustered that he came up to you like that. having closed the book, your gaze fell on his face one more time, analysing who you’re talking to, though it didn’t take too long to figure out it was theodore nott.
“hey.” he replied, shamelessly taking a seat next to you. for the fifteen seconds he was walking there, he thought about all the possibilities of conversation, but then? he just sat next to her silently for half a minute. “doin’ alright?” a question left his lips.
“i–, uh. kind of.” you lied, stuttering at the same time.
of course you knew theodore nott, who didn’t? he was a friend of mattheo and draco, a lacrosse player and a smart-talker. never studying, but always perfect on tests. and, in addition to top it all – undeniably handsome that keeping eyes off him was like a death sentence.
his eyes rolled in playfulness. “funny. you look more than just miserable.” the boy commented, his eyes fixated on your face as he speaks. “would you mind if i keep you company?” theo flashed you a cheeky smile and you just shook your head silently, watching him as he took a closer seat.
“you don’t have to speak.” nott added quickly, seeing a piece of distress at him keeping you company, and the way your hands gripped the cup you held. “you can just… act like you listen to whatever i’m sayin’, that’s fine with you?” his head tilted to the side waiting for a most likely short answer.
once you agreed or maybe it’s better to say once you didn’t refuse, he started rambling, rambling and rambling, trying so hard to make you laugh — chuckle, at least. oh and was he so proud of himself when he finally did. and minutes after that, you started replying to him more often, and god, it sent him to heaven, even though he was the one speaking much more, hearing you reply once in a while was enough.
the music was getting louder with each second, and he took you out for a walk, showing you around a little, because you were not exactly from that part of the town. “you smoke?” he asked, and he knew the answer immediately. you didn’t, but you nodded, waiting till he extends his hand with the pack of cigarettes.
you brought the cigarette to your parted lips, feeling his gaze on you. the motive for the whole smoking part was completely unknown to you — you never smoked, neither did you want to, but how could you ever say no to theodore nott, when he ditched the party to talk to you.
so… somehow, it led you to do what you can to impress him. you took a drag, feeling his eyes on you, and… started coughing so much you had to hold his arm for a few seconds to keep your composure. you could see theo trying his best not to laugh at your poor attempt at smoking. his teeth dig into his bottom lip as he bit back a smile, not wanting to make you feel bad.
“it’s better that way.” he nudged your side lightly, trying to cheer you up, seeing the embarrassment painting all over your face. “someone really doesn’t want you to smoke up there.” theo joked, making the corners of your lips curve a little upwards.
there was a comfortable silence between the two of you for some time, just walking around the town, enjoying each other’s presence until he finally decided to give it a break. “you’re not the type to party.” theodore stated, giving you a side glance. “lost a bet or something?” he asked, his left eyebrows lifted.
you walked beside him, hands laced behind your back as he asks the question. you couldn’t help but tilted your head slightly to the side to take a better view of him — of his sharp jawline, high cheekbones, those beautiful eyes of his and those lips— shit. you almost forgot he asked you a question and maybe even worse, noticed you staring.
“no.” he got a little head shake for an answer, before you found yourself revealing even more. “just promised my friends i’d go out with them.”
to theo, it sounded like something you’d do. even though he hardly ever spoke more than few words to you, he’s been perceptive and watching you in class was something he did most of the time, the reason behind it? his crush fell too deep to not continue looking for an opportunity to make a move.
“mhmm.” he mumbled under his breath, turning his face to look at you, a smile creeping onto his lips. “to be fair, despite the visible discomfort on your face, you look real pretty.” theo gave you a cheeky smile, before adding. “though, comfort looks so much better on you.”
shit. this motherfucker. his smooth way with words got you blushing from the top of your head down to your toes. before you could even stutter an answer, you felt the fuzzy insides of his coat on your shoulders. it felt so unreal yet so realistic at the same time. were you dreaming? you wish you weren’t.
“is it really that visible?” a soft sigh has left your lips, stopping in your tracks to look at him. “nah, just if someone has been paying attention to you before, they’ll notice.” the boy shrugged, your cheeks growing even hotter.
he’s been paying attention to you. theodore nott, the slytherin, has been paying enough attention to you to notice how uncomfortable you were in gwen’s dress. his cheeky smile got even cheekier as you were processing everything in your mind, the two of you standing in front of each other in the middle of the pavement.
your lips were slightly parted as you tried to think of something to say without embarrassing yourself more. you didn’t even catch the moment when he leaned a little closer until the two of you were inches away. “theo…?” a quiet whisper escaped your lips, your head tilted upwards to look at him.
“i’ve been infatuated with you for a while now.” confessed theodore, your breath hitching in your throat. what now? “it’s not the ‘i like you’ talk, it’s the mr. darcy’s ‘you’ve bewitched me, body and soul’ talk. i’m not myself when you’re not around.” his words are like honey on your ears, his hand finding yours, your eyes never leaving his.
“you like jane austen?” you giggled, accidentally interrupting his confession.
“y/n.” he groaned. “please, can i kiss you? i don’t think i’ll be able to breathe without it.” theo seemed desperate, but you couldn’t mind, it was theo who wanted to kiss you, the guy you always stared, when no one looked, the only guy that ever appeared in your dreams.
it took him just a small nod from you to lower his head and crush his lips into yours. at first, you could feel all the emotions he wanted you to feel — the desperation, the need, and the happiness that came with finally being able to kiss you. his fingers found its way to your hair, pulling you even closer as your lips moved against his so perfectly.
if it wasn’t for your fist that gripped the fabric of his collar, you’d probably pass out from the sensation of his mouth on yours. you had to break out for a few seconds to catch some air, but this time — you were the one who kissed him, standing on your tiptoes, kissing him like your life depends on it. he tasted like the liquor he had drunk before you two got away, and menthol cigarettes.
his forehead is resting against yours, after the two of you finally pull away yet so slightly. “were you for real?”
“i have never been as for real as i am right now, y/n. if being so enamoured with you was a crime, i’d be facing lifetime.”
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too-much-tma-stuff · 3 months
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Finally Getting Help (prt 6)
Masterpost
The Wayne family gathered in the family room once Alfred was done setting up the projector, somehow there was also a plate of cookies and a couple pots of tea on the coffee table. How he’d found the time they didn’t know, he always seemed to be doing just a little more than should be possible but they didn’t question it. 
Jazz seemed nervous as she plugged in her USB and accessed the power point on Ghosts and Liminality. The tidal page had a picture of Danny in his Phantom form standing with a group of others, a boy with gray skin and blond hair, a girl with green hair and skin, and a goth with purple eyes and a dark skinned boy who looked around Danny’s age, and Jazz with the title “Ghosts and Liminals!” 
The next slide had simple text: “What are they and How are they made?”
With each slide she read the text on the screen allowed and then added any context or anecdotes she thought of, or had prepared. 
(Next slide)
Ghosts:
Made of ectoplasmic energy and obsession
Made either:
when someone dies with strong enough desires
An idea gains enough traction to take on a life of its own
Immutable concepts and gods
Must be allowed to indulge in obsessions or they will cease to exist
All have basic abilities such as flight, intangibility, invisibility, and minor shape shifting
On top of basic abilities most will have additional powers based on their obsessions
Immortal unless killed 
Love to fight
Liminals
Made when a human is exposed to high levels of ectoplasm for prolonged periods of time
Have some ghostly traits 
Ghostly traits vary person to person
Less susceptible to human illness and injury
“The ghosts on the picture are Kitty and Johnny, we’ve had problems with them but would consider them friends now. They’re the ghosts of two humans who died, but there are others, Vortext for instance is the ghost of Storms. Those ghosts who come from ideas are called ‘neverborns’. There seem to be almost an infinite number of ghosts, however not all of them are interested in having anything to do with us so we tend to get the same faces showing up a lot in Amity.
“I don’t know how many liminals there are. I thought they might be new with my parents' research but as I look into it more I think there are more natural sources of ectoplasm then my parents thought.” Jazz explained before going to transition to the next slide.
“I have a question-” Bruce started before Jazz hushed him. 
“Wait till the end please! I might answer it without you having to ask,” She scolded, and he felt very much like a schoolboy again as his children snickered.
(Next slide including a image of the glowing green viles in the Fenton’s lab and a glowing green crystal)
Ghost biology 
Ghosts do not have any recognizable organs or bones
The only solid part of their being is their Core which is the source of their ectoplasm 
Any injury to a ghosts form not done directly to their core is considered minor and will heal
A healthy ghost is fully capable of mending any damage including removed limbs in a matter of hours or days depending on extent of the injury
All injuries not including the Core are considered minor 
Ghosts are considered young for at least the first hundred years of their existence and are often not considered adults until nearly 500
A caveat to this is ghosts are heavily driven by emotion and will often be the age they feel they are allowing ghosts to mature much more quickly, or more slowly
When this is the case ghosts are treated as the age they present and behave
Ghosts reproduce by shaping ectoplasm and Wanting a child badly enough
“Believe me it was incredibly scary the first time I saw Danny in his ghost form have something go right through his stomach. It took him a long time to convince me it wasn’t a big deal and it barely hurt. He does have to make sure he repairs the damage Before turning human again though or the damage can transfer over and I don’t need to tell you a hole in the gut is a lot more serious for humans!
“If I’m honest I only know ghosts that have stayed younger then they really are, for instance Youngblood who’s a few hundred years old and could be well on his way to adulthood if he wanted but has remained a child. I assume it can go the other way though, if a ghost is very mature for their age.”
Ectoplasm 
Ectoplasm is the energy that makes up all ghosts and the Ghost Zone itself. All ghosts can feed on the ectoplasm around them as well as produce their own by indulging in obsessions. The ghosts Cores produce the ectoplasm like a brain produces neurochemicals when exposed to the right stimulation.
Ectoplasm is a powerful source of energy but unstable. When it is stabilized into an ecto-crystal it is more stable and can be used as a power source safely by ghosts and liminals.
“Most ectoplasm is green like you see in the pictures. But it isn’t the only colour, some other ghosts produce different colours and it is highly tied to what emotion drives them. When it’s pure it usually smells like petracore but it can get pretty foul.”
(next slide)
What are Obsessions
Every ghost has one or more obsessions
They can be very literal things such as boxes, or ideas and emotions such as Love
In rarer cases they may have dual obsessions
Unlike for humans obsessions are very healthy for ghosts
Ghosts need to indulge their obsessions
Sometimes the way ghosts indulge their obsessions might seem evil, however it is almost always just amoral 
Obsessions shape every part of a ghost from their powers to thier physical appearance, to befriend a ghost you Must understand and aid their obsession
In very extreme circumstances a ghosts obsession may shift, sometimes this is healthy, more often it is a result of extreme trauma
“With my interest in psychology this was sort of hard for me to accept. From the outside the way ghosts obsess seems really unhealthy but it’s what gives them life. When not allowed to indulge in their obsessions ghosts will dysregulate and go to extreme lengths to try and get their obsession, if that doesn’t work they either go dormant if their core is still healthy enough or they will melt. 
“Ghosts change their obsessions very rarely, I’ve heard of it happening as they heal. For instance once a ghost has gotten revenge for themselves, if that was their obsession, their obsession might shift to avenging other people, or even protecting them so they don’t need to be avenged.”
(Next Slide)
Ghost Culture
The Ghosts have a monarchy
The title of the Ghost King is not hereditary but passed through trial by combat
Under the monarch is a council of being known as Observants, and powerful and old ghosts called Ancients 
Ghosts respect strength and value power and cunning in combat a lot
Ghosts bond with each other through combat and play fight with family and friends often
“I have down that the ghosts are a monarchy, and technically that is true but the current Ghost King was a tyrant who was locked away thousands of years ago. I’m sure as soon as someone shows up who’s powerful enough to beat him his court will be happy to pick up where they left off with a better King, or queen, though I don’t think the title has to change based on gender.
“I really can’t stress enough how violent ghosts are! Because nothing short of having their cores shattered can kill them, play fighting for them can look Very Much like a murder attempt to a human. A lot of the issues we’ve had with ghosts have come from them just not understanding quite how fragile humans, and for most of them they feel really bad once they know they actually Hurt someone by shooting them. It’s really best for everyone when they’re kept separate and Ghosts can happily tear each other apart in peace.”
Liminals
The result of long term low level exposure to ectoplasm, sudden high doses are almost always deadly
Liminals Can have almost every trait a ghost can, usually having a combination of a few
Commonalities between liminals include
Minor cosmetic changes such as: glowing eyes, pointed ears, and/or sharp teeth 
Increased stamina, strength, and aggression
Increased obsessive behaviour
Liminals sometimes develop powers shaped by the strength and type of obsession 
“Most of the people Danny and I know are liminals. I don’t want to talk about them in case they don’t want to be outed so I’ll talk about myself and my parents. We all had prolonged exposure after all. My ears are pointed,” She said brushing her hair back so they could see them, “And Danny is a little more then liminal but even in human form he has fangs. 
“My parents didn’t realize it but they could to the point they could subsist on their obsession without needing to eat or sleep as often as a regular human would. About a year ago I started developing the ability to tap into and feel other peoples emotions, I can feed on them a little too but I try not to because the Worst ghost we met did that and I don’t want to be anything like her.”
(Next Slide)
In conclusion
Ghosts are not evil even though sometimes their actions are hard to understand
Never get between ghosts when they’re fighting each other but it’s usually safe to yell at them to remind them not to break anything
Never get between a ghost and their obsession
Don’t drink ectoplasm unless you know you’re already liminal
“I have a feeling the section about liminals will be familiar to a bunch of you. I know Damian is liminal though I don’t know how he was exposed to ectoplasm and some of you,” Her eyes skirted across Tim and Bruce. “Are toeing the line. You’ll probably notice Damian and Danny getting really close, and they might get in some really vicious looking fights. I promise Danny is playing at least.”
The family was left silent for a moment, Bruce knew he was thinking about Jason. Who had died, been exposed to.. What certainly seemed to be something like Lazarus water and come back, obsessive, aggressive, and emotional. He wished he’d had this powerpoint a long time ago. It helped understand Damian too but mostly he was thinking about Jason. He needed to reach out again, maybe meeting Danny would be good for Jason?
“So uhhh, ya, that’s the end of the powerpoint?” Jazz said, shifting from foot to foot in the awkward silence. “Any questions?”
Next
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renku · 1 month
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Catering Demand and Need
Loossemble Yeojin x Male Reader
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“Yeojin, what are you doing down there?”
“Nothing, oppa... You took so long to get here,” Yeojin playfully twirls her hair while still exposing her thighs out, “I’m kinda lonely here without my unnies...”
“Now’s not the time, Yeojin.”
Yeojin pouted and climbed on the couch, slouching to show her disappointment.
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What am I going to do with her? This old, repititive question is almost a million dollar question in Mathematics that the most brilliant minds in the world try to solve. But Yeonjin is on another level. Try with all might and sheer will, it’s always her—Yeojin always, always wins.
Letting a sigh as a sign of defeat before sitting beside her, Yeojin knew that it’ll happen no matter what—she will prevail.
“Baby girl?” soft yet manly tone, a maintained balance of persuasion and dominance. Yeojin must know she’s the one in need, and the one that needs to earn it.
No answer. As expected. Yeojin’s habit of putting the act for a bit longer serves as her trump card. Just to get this over with, let Yeojin have it her way.
Felt the touch from your index finger on her silky thigh, gradually sliding upward until it reaches the hem of the laced white dress. Inaudible gasp escaped her lips, and goosebumps spread all over her.
“Still not going to answer, baby girl?”
Yeojin is a tough cookie to break. Well, you already did literally before but it’s the attitude. She could just gave a nod or a simple 'yes' or 'no' to make things easier. If a newbie managed to survive the job as her manager, it’ll be a breakthrough. But here you are, still on the same role and job.
It would only be a matter of time before the others arrive. Compromising others’ time and schedule would spell disaster. Raising the hem of her dress, a pleasant smell greeted your nose—fresh rose scent from her favorite feminine wash, and visual blessing by means of a matched red-laced panties; enough to increase the blood flow in all the right areas in your body.
As much as you want to tease Yeojin first, it’s just simply impractical and dangerous at the current circumstances.
Grabbing and pulling her undergarments in one go; almost breaking it at the process. Your hands found their place in Yeojin's petite cheeks—oh, for the love of Venus—supple and irresistible.
“O- op- uhm– Daddy?”
Thank God, she finally spoke. And she just used her ultimate move. The perfect trigger—climbing to the level of overdrive.
“Yes, baby girl?”
“Will Daddy punish me for not behaving good?” Yeojin turned around to look at you with her half-lidded eyes. Fuck. So vulnerable yet ruinable.
“Yes, my baby girl needs to learn again to listen.”
Spreading her cheeks there lies her impatient lubricated cunt; dripping, already forming a pool on the couch but it doesn’t matter anymore. Unbuckling your belt with haste to push down your pants and briefs in one go just enough to let out your raging cock.
“All fours, now.”
Yeojin didn’t even hesitate for a second. She got herself into position right away.
A two, quick strokes on your cock before lining up yourself in her entrance. The glans kissed her labia, making Yeojin whimper.
“Hmmp–”
“Still not used to this, baby girl?”
“It’s just– Daddy’s cock is too big for my pus– AH!”
Not letting Yeojin finish as you pulled her waist to penetrate her deep right away. Tight. Warm. Wet. Perfect. Words could not even experiencing the real thing. Its grip like it's holding on for its dear life? Priceless. That is why you can keep with Yeojin and her stubbornness, when there’s a sweet prize only you and you can claim.
Your hips knew what they suppose to do—starting from a nice, good rhythm gradually increasing tempo. Clapping sounds growing stronger each second.
“Yes- oh- oh- fuck- yes, daddy! I miss your big cock so much!” Yeojin really screams her heart out in happiness, or pleasure, or both in general. Her cute, lewd voice—the same one she uses to record their songs which her fans enjoy. Well, you couldn’t totally blame them. It’s an earcandy.
“Shit. So good- ugh!” you grunted.
Dirty, filthy sounds—moans, whimpers, two fleshes clapping against the other, and compliments of how two bodies give each other pleasure—are what filled the room basically. You and Yeojin may not admit it but you can’t get enough of each other. It’s like a need that turned into addiction. Yin-yang. Light and dark. Good and bad.
But like everything else, there’s always an end. Your phone rings, and the ringtone is specifically assigned for the group. They’re about to arrive in no time. Time to finish the business and thankfully Lady Luck is on your side.
“Yeojin, fuck, argh, I’m close!”
“Yes, Daddy! Do it inside! Breed me, fill me with your cum!”
Even without her words, you’re about to do it anyway. Spraying all your semen on the couch is not a good news for the others.
“I'm cumming!”
With your final forceful thrust, burying your cock deep inside, ropes and ropes of cum reached her womb, painting her insides. Yeojin’s still tight pussy milking you out—baby girl claiming her prize. She also came as her spasms were noticeable; her body barely keeping steady from her position. Upon slipping out your cock, you pulled her panties back immediately to avoid any droplets of cum reaching the couch.
Yeojin was exhausted real good. But she has to fix herself before the girls see her ruined and messed up.
“Get up, Yeojin. Your unnies are coming. We need to fix ourselves and everything else before they arrive.”
“Ok... yes, oppa,” she said, her voice showing signs of fatigue.
~~~
After making sure no trace was left on the crime scene, the girls arrived just on time. The assistant manager was the one who handled them for the meantime. They looked tired on the ride going home.
“Oh, manager-nim, Yeojin, you two are here already? How lucky!” one of the girls said.
“Just need to talk about something with our lovely maknae,” you replied.
“What is it?”
“Oh, nothing serious. Just a few reminders from the company.”
“I see. Well, we better go to bed it’s already getting late.”
“Right, right. Shall we, Yeojin?”
“Yes, manager-nim!” she responded with such enthusiasm, and winked at you before going to her room.
“Oh, please,” you sighed, as the exhilarating job of keeping up with them especially Yeojin, continues. Sadly.
A/N: Purely BFH and done in one sitting. Seeing Yeojin was just- hoo, nevermind. Anyway, the fic is unedited so forgive me for a few mistakes. Have work tomorrow but still finished this using the writing juices I have. Hope you enjoy! Have a good day, or night!
- Ren :)
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bhaalble · 6 months
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Back on my Wyll script doctor because I was talking about it with a friend. Specifically imagining a version of Wyll's big Character Choice that felt like it had some actual teeth.
Imagine a world where instead of a cartoon evil hot lady Mizora and Wyll's relationship actually had some complexity to it and like. some genuine push and pull which gives him temptation to stay. I just keep thinking about this 17 year old who his whole life wanted more than anything to be a hero, who got his chance to do something heroic and selfless and save the city from certain doom, and his reward is getting kicked out because he did it the "wrong way".
Imagine if instead of forcing his silence, Mizora instead comforted him. How unbelievably cruel of your father! Well...since you've nowhere else to go, why not stick with me? We make a pretty good team, as it turns out, and I can get you a whole list of monsters who need killing. Plenty of devils and demons loose in your world targetting all sorts of innocents. Our interests can keep aligning, and you get a place to sleep when you need it.
Wyll makes his peace with it, because he has nothing and no one. And Mizora's not GOOD maybe, not by Ulder Ravengard's definition. But she's fun. She delights in his growth. And she does certainly keep direct him at greater evils, devils who really do need killing. And if she spies on his every waking moment, well, she worries. If she sends him after the occasional innocent, well, she had people who she has to answer to as well. She's a devil, how much can he fault her for her nature? She's always seemed like she knew where the line was...
Karlach (and the player) express their doubts, of course, but for act one at least he's defensive. Yes, she punished him and he hates it and its miserable but....he was in breach of contract! She's NEVER gone outside its bounds, she's always stuck very closely to their agreement. Wyll, who wants so badly to trust others and believe everyone has the chance for good, can't find it in him to believe the worst even of a devil.
And Mizora is FOND of Wyll, loves him even in her way. As a cherished pet, as a trusted tool, as a best-laid plan. Never enough to choose his own well-being over her own agenda, never enough to see him as his own person. He's her little project, the long shot noble brat she gambled on when Tiamat decided to get too big for her britches. And it paid off! Wyll always pays off, currying her all the favor from Zariel she so desperately craves. And who are you, or anyone, to come between them? She's treated him well. As she's quick to remind him, she wanted him when no one else did, aided him while the rest of his city slept snug in their beds. And if Ulder Ravengard didn't want a son with a whiff of infernal, then do you REALLY think he'd want you with lovely horns and Avernus in your blood?
You discover his father's been taken. Beyond igniting a lot of old feelings, it brings up a question of succession. Of course, Florrick isnt giving up on him, but if not...there aren't currently any likely candidates to take over the Flaming Fists. Not trustworthy ones. Florrick will take the position, but everyone knows in the back of his mind Ulder never really stopped planning for it to be Wyll. With the city in chaos and a cult army on the rise, they may need an answer sooner rather than later. Wyll feels the call of the Gate, but knows just as well that Mizora wouldn't want him to return in such an official capacity.
For the first time ever the leash starts to chafe in a way he can't keep pushing through.
Act 2 rolls around. Mizora sends up the Warlock signal. After potentially some encouragement from the player, Wyll (NOT THE PLAYER. I DONT KNOW WHY ITS THE PLAYER IN THE GAME ITS WEIRD) hesitantly proposes that maybe, if he does this....they can do a renegotiation of his contract. Not break it, he assures her quickly! Just....reopen the terms, take a looks at the agreement. Maybe discuss an exit ramp? After all....I mean, neither of us truly thought I'd be doing this forever, did we?
Based on Mizora's reaction. Yeah she did.
But fine. She agrees. And Wyll's not mad that it turns out you're rescuing her, not a nameless "operative" for Zariel. He would've done that on his own had she asked. Its the fact that she apparently didn't feel like being honest, that she let him fret and worry about potentially handing Zariel back some runaway for basically no reason. Its the fact that she came here to check in on the cult that abducted his FATHER just to see if Zariel could make any use of them. And its the fact that she seems surprised and annoyed that ANY of this bothers him.
All this builds, of course, to the final confrontation. The basic elements are the same. Mizora outside the coronation (this time needling at Wyll, "I'll be at camp if you're not too high and mighty to consort with the likes of me anymore"), Ulder tadpoled and fighting it. Mizora makes her offer. I can end the contract now, and you're free to go running after daddy (who won't want you btw! not like I do!). You'll lose all your powers, all my aid, all those juicy quests to chase down the greatest monsters in the hells. Take on your father's job and settle in for a life of misery and compromise and only doing as much good as the nobles will let you. Or: pledge yourself to me, eternally. I'll give you a boatload of new powers and eternal life to boot, so long as you serve as my sword and shield.
From there I think three endings branch out, and with it three classes for Wyll. If he stays with Mizora, accepts a relationship where he will never be an equal or a free agent in exchange for the affirmation he wants so badly from his father, he remains a Warlock, with some juiced stats and extra spell slots, along with shiny new gear. If he pledges to follow in his father's footsteps, he instead becomes an Oath of Devotion paladin, pledging himself in service to Tyr, if with a sense of doomed finality. The Blade of Frontiers is officially retired, and along with it any identity he has outside of being his father's son. Or the third path, break the contract without taking his father's role. He will look for his father, yes, but whether or not you find him he's going back to his roots, travelling around to do some good in the world (as the Blade of Frontiers) or kicking ass in the Hells with Karlach (as the Blade of Avernus). In this timeline he becomes a fighter, with a default preference for Eldritch Knight.
What's important: if he breaks his contract then Mizora is NOT hanging around camp. She will leave in a fury, accidentally bound by her own word to withdraw her influence completely if he breaks his contract. She may still approach the player some night to sleep with the player, framed for high approval/romanced players and her trying to take something back from Wyll. But Wyll will have to learn how to define himself without her breathing down his neck, without keeping her happy dominating his every thought. Its nervewracking, and even lonesome at times...but its freedom. And, perhaps, that's worth a little bit of lonesomeness.
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scatterbrainedbot · 6 months
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I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED
@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS
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okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!
(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)
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- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡
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-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)
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-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.
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-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)
Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help
*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.
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-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.
but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.
the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)
(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)
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bunnybunbun0 · 6 months
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Currently getting off on the idea of loser!Mike touching a boob for the first time ever. (and of course its yours!)
You were just out for a midnight walk and thought "why dont i go bother mike at his new security job?" You were sitting in a random table along with him,a teasing lolipop in your mouth,flirting with Mike and getting his flustered over nothing was too much fun,you couldn´t get over it.
"So youve never been on a proper date?" He asked regarding the topic of your crappy dating life "Like no flowers or a nice dinner?" His eyebrows were raised,he always disapproved of the sketchy man you went out with,and he thought a nobody like him would never get a chance with a girl like you.
"Dinner and flowers?" You looked into his eyes and chuckled amusedly "Please,i showed my tits for way less!" you took the sucker out your mouth with a loud pop.
The blush on Michael´s cheeks were nerly comic,like a cartoon character getting a kiss on the cheeck,his eyes went everywhere trying to avoid yours,and you could swear that for a moment he just stared at your lips.
"So those men they just...saw your chest?" His voice was heavy in embarassement,face so red he looked like he had a nasty fever.
It was too much of a good teasing chance to just let it pass.
"Oh that and much more..." You popped the candy back into your mouth smirking teasingly "What? You never touched a boob?"
You knew the answer to that question already,Michael´s non existing date life was material for endless late night phone calls and a fuel for your relentless teasing.
"N-no i havent..." He said shyly
You were´nt expecting him to actually answer that,let alone with such honesty,a million things ran through your mind in that minute and the one you chose to listen was the fact you couldnt let your best friend be the type of man who never felt a woman´s breasts.
"Well,lets cchange that shall we?" Your smile was growing bigger by the minute. As you took of your jacket revealing the low cut top you were wearing that oh so nicely hugged your breasts,his eyes were glued in them.
He was taken aback by your actions,not sure what to do next,but that smirk of yours and that top that left little to the imagination were stirring something in him.
"What...What are you implying here?" He twiddled his fingers nervously and you took a step closer to him.
"Well...What are you waiting for? Be my guest!"
He could swear his heart never pumped any faster. He approached you slowly,shaky hands being raised to the point where they were rested on top of your chest,he looked into your eyes for any kind of reaction,hands still and face red like some kind of trance.
"Well dont be shy! get into it!" You stirred him on dancing the red lolipop around in your cheecks.
"A-am i doing this right?" He asked worried and out of breath as he moved his hand slowly,small circular moves from the entirety of what your push bra could expose to him.
"There is no way of doing this wrong,as long as you enjoy yourself..." Your tone was flirtarious as ever,and the growing tent on the front of his jeans proved he was indeed enjoying himself.
His eyes wandered between you and his hands on your boobs,he was slowly getting the hang of it,being ever so delicate and liking the feel of your body on his palms. But it wasnt enough for you,not until he really let himself go.
"Come on! really get into it!" You stirred him on one more time,going further this time.
You put your hands on top of his over your chest and gave it a nice firm squeeze,wanting him to really feel you. You thought his eyes were gonna pop off with how big they widened.
His shock however,didnt forbid him from keep on squeezing and massaging your boobs,the confidence growing ever more at every little gasp that you let scape and at the way he could feel your nipples harden under the fabric.
He couldnt believe his luck! He was actually touching a girls boobs! One that he has been attracted to for a long time as well! He didnt want this moment to ever be over.
"Are you liking it?" he asked without ever stoping the motion of groping your tits.
you hissed through grutted teeth at the way he teased your nipples,mike was always a quick learner and this time it wasnt any different.
"Youre not bad for a first timer" you smiled at him teasingly.
You took a few steps back,chest feeling cold without his preying hands,you ignored the temporary feeling of loss knowing what was to come would be way better. You slid your hands beneath your shirt pulling it over your head,staying in front of him in only a bra and jeans.
"Ready to learn the real deal?"
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Note
Hi I hope you’re well 😊 I’m here to request your thoughts on Tommy Shelby as a father. Like how many kids you’d think he would have had if he only had one love interest (no falling in love with Grace or marrying Lizzie). Or if you think he’d be a girl or boy dad (personally i’d like to think he’d be a girl dad and have a big family haha). You can make this headcanon or just simply respond to this ask however you’d like! Thank you for taking the time to read and answer 🥰
Thomas Shelby as a Father
Tommy x Fem!Reader
Trope: Wait till your father gets home Warnings: Angst, spoilers for most of the series, period-typical sexism, references to past ab-se.
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What we see of Tommy as a father is that he's distant and seemingly detached. This, I feel, is because of his trauma in losing Grace and his growing obsession with obtaining power.
We do see that Tommy is aware of his children's emotional state but seems unable to comfort his son. He goes as far as to have Arthur be the one to talk to his son about why he had to shoot his horse.
Tommy clearly cares about his children. He runs through a field of landmines to save his son, when he had almost stepped on one to purposely end his own life. Tommy goes nearly mad when he finds out Alfie Solomons was involved with the enemy that kidnapped his son. He shot Alfie for that betrayal with the intent to kill.
When Ruby became ill and he thought was all due to a curse, Tommy hunted the woman down. He went on a bloody rampage because he thought it would save her. With all of this, we know he is a loving father. But without Grace, he doesn't seem to know how to show that love.
Let's say that there is no Grace, only you, and that no sapphire is ever put around your neck.
That Thomas might be different than the one we saw parenting Charles and Ruby. I think he would want more than two children. I think he would be the sort of man who would say "one is enough," but really he wants four.
He would never raise his voice in his home without good reason. Tommy knows what its like to have a father that rules through fear and honey. He won't be kind only when he wants something. He won't make his children afraid of him.
Personally, I do see him as prime girl-dad material. Like he would have one son and three girls. Regardless of the birthing order, he calls the boy his "heir," but spoils the girls. They each have their own horse, a wardrobe of beautiful clothing, and freedom to do literally whatever they want. He has opened his briefcase to find dollies and teacups from your youngest girl's tea set before. She thought he would be lonely at work.
His girls would be the sort to follow around staff and ask them intrusive questions. Tommy would not be immune. His daughters would probably ask him questions like: "Do you not grow hair on the back of your hand daddy? Is that why it's only on top?" At least one of his daughters would have a "I'm totally a witch," phase where she's flinging curses just like he used to. Only with her, it's cute because she's only nine.
The only son of Thomas Shelby would be safely tucked under his wing. At your imploring, he would take your boy on long car rides or out into town without his sisters to bond. The boy has a lot of pressure on him to succeed, Tommy doesn't always sympathize with that.
All four of his children would be little hellions. He would be dragged to see their school's headmaster on a near weekly basis. To the point where he isn't always sure which of his kids is in trouble sometimes. He just drops a donation to the school and the problem goes away. That's not to say your children are bratty or terribly spoiled. Well, they are, but not unbearably so...
Tommy makes sure his children understand where he came from. He brings them all to the Cut to watch the ships come through. Loves to leave them at Charlie's yard for an afternoon of mischief and bonding time with "Grandpa Charlie." They also get dropped off at Aunt Polly's home for weekends every now and again. The girls always come back with a new swear word.
They are new money, not old money. There are those who will look down upon them based on this alone. He makes sure his children are educated and well-rounded individuals. Tommy often worries about the state of the Shelby Empire after he dies. You remind him that he "isn't allowed to die," before you say so.
Tommy is still more distant than you would like him to be. He's so focused on his goals, it's like he forgets all about Arrow House and the family that lives there. The oldest two girls have said as much to his face once before. He took the family on holiday after that. You knew he would go right back to long nights in the office, but it was still sweet.
Life with him is hardly perfect, but it's closer to it than you could have with anybody else. And that's enough.
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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 months
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
I have been openly living as a trans man for some years now. And I'm at a point where it doesn't take up so much mental space anymore.
Don't get me wrong: I certainly do not mean "it doesn't matter anymore" here. I am not a "just call me whatever pronouns, I do not care" person and I don't think I ever will be. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, it's just not how I feel. Being adressed with my name and my pronouns is still important for my mental well-being, and it still triggers feelings of dysphoria when people misgender me.
Even apart from misgendering: My identity is still important, and it always will be! Being trans is not some small thing that loses its importance over time. It's who I am. Being a man - and having grown up in a society that told me I wasn't - influences the way I experience everything in my life (from my self-image to my relationships with others to... well, everything).
What I do mean here is: Before coming out to others, and also before coming out to myself and accepting myself as a man, there were naturally a lot of questions running circles in my brain. Why do I feel so sad when adults tells me I'll grow into a woman? Why does it cause me so much stress when mom tells me to put on a dress? Why does it make me so euphoric to use masculine scents? When I try to picture myself kissing a boy, why do I see two boys? Ah, I just learned trans people exist, why does this fascinate me so much that I can't stop thinking about it? Am I creepy for being so fascinated by them? I'm older now, why is that sad feeling not going away? Why is it only getting worse now that I have "grown into a woman"? Why do I keep getting this horrified feeling that I took a wrong route somewhere and was never meant to arrive at "woman"? Wait... could this mean I am trans? Is it too late to realize I am trans at my age? Can I really be trans when the whole thought of even just considering surgery feels overwhelming and scary? Will I ever be ready to actually come out as trans? I really want to get married some day, could I even find love as a trans person? Can I ever be happy in a relationship if I hide who I am? Can I go on living in the closet? Okay, I am trans and want to come out, is it safe to do that? Will my family still love me? Will I ever be brave enough to come out to people outside of my immediate circle? Will people take me seriously? Will people hate me? Will I regret coming out? What if I fuck up my life?
Well, I came out and the world didn't end. All these questions, I either found answers to them or they just dissolved over time - and that frees up a lot of energy and mental space. The space that was occupied by these questions and concerns is now available to me again.
I do not wonder if I am a man anymore. I just am one. It has become something that is just self-evident to me. It goes without saying - or without conciously spending time thinking about it. Of course I am a man, of course I am Oliver. Who else would I be?
We all have a limited amount of things we can focus on, and many trans people share this experience that over time they do not need to focus so much on it anymnore. But this is not unique to the process of figuring out you are trans - in the sense that a cis gay, bi, ace etc. person could also relate to this, but also in entirely non-lgbt-specific ways. Think about a person prepping for an important exam for example. A lot of their energy and mental space will be tied up in exam related questions... which obviously will not be a permanent state. After the exam, they will naturally no longer by preoccupied by wondering how the exam will go!
I'm telling you all this because one of you asked me if I struggled with coming to terms with being a trans man - and this is my very long way of saying: Yes, I did (and it's pretty normal to do! It's a really big realization about yourself!) but struggling isn't a permanent state.
You'll find answers to some questions, some questions will just fade away. You'll figure things out.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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brackenfur · 2 months
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okay so i kind of.......wrote a lot more than i really intended to, but long story short - years ago i had this headcanon/au of sorts that birchpaw/fall saw ashfur and hawkfrost at the lake together, standing over firestar. mostly because when you squint at that whole sequence it kinda doesnt add up in canon, but its not canon that birchfall saw anything - it's just me taking this what if scenario and expanding on a side character
anyways this was kinda a quick project so its not perfect buuuuuut i wrote something so ! enjoy :)
birchpaw is back at camp doing everything he can to avoid the worried looks of his clanmates when his mentor stops him.
"hey, birchpaw," the fur on the back of birchpaw's neck stands up, and he slowly turns to the other tomcat. "are you okay?"
birchpaw does the best he can to keep the nervousness out of his voice as he answers: "i'm fine, ashfur. really. i- uh, i mean, i really just wish i had...been faster, that i had..."
he can't look at ashfur's face. not now, maybe not ever again. he knows that as soon as he meets his eyes, he won't be able to stop asking questions:
what were you doing with a riverclan cat? why didn't you help firestar? did the other cat threaten you? did you-
"you did the best you could, birchpaw," ashfur tells him gently; he pauses, flicking his tail-tip, before murmuring: "come on, let's go over to the apprentice's den to talk. i can tell you're shaken up."
and you're not, birchpaw wants to say, but he's a coward. this is his uncle, his mother's twin, and he doesn't really know what he saw, anyways. maybe ashfur had been standing there, sure. and maybe firestar had been clearly injured, clearly dying - well, ashfur isn't a medicine cat. he couldn't have known that, even if birchpaw had been making a lucky guess. but maybe hawkfrost threatened him, or maybe he lied to him-
you don't believe that at all, he thinks.
but he follows his uncle all the same to the apprentice's den; whitepaw is comforting her father at the medicine cat den while leafpool treats firestar's wound. no one is around - they're all either out searching the territory to make sure hawkfrost didn't have any accomplices, or with firestar's family on the other side of camp.
"you did the best you could to get help as soon as possible, birchpaw," ashfur tells him softly; birchpaw is staring at the grass between his paws, not looking at the other tom. "everyone knows that. i'm sure firestar does, too."
"right."
"but i could scent your fear-scent," ashfur continues, "and it does seem like you didn't go straight back to camp after telling firestar about blackstar. why?"
birchpaw's whiskers quiver. he shouldn't be scared - if anything, ashfur should be worried. he's the one who didn't do enough to help.
but the look in ashfur's eyes. the blank, distant stare as he watched firestar gurgle at his paws.
even the badgers didn't look at sootfur like that after they killed him, birchpaw remembers.
"i....," birchpaw's voice wobbles. "i thought i scented another cat, and i was worried," he clears his throat, trying to stop the shakes, "about you. i thought- i thought maybe you were...in trouble, and i...."
ashfur is quiet for a long time; if birchpaw wasn't so scared - why should i be scared? he's my uncle and my mentor, he wouldn't....he'd never.... - he'd look up, joke with him. pretend like it's all a big joke.
but those eyes. that look. the sounds firestar was making.
"so you didn't go straight back to camp," ashfur says with a disappointed sigh, "and firestar lost a life."
birchpaw's heartbeat skips. his paws shake. "wait," he says, his voice becoming shrill. he doesn't want anyone else to hear, but- what ashfur's saying, it's not...that's not right. that's not how it went. "wait, i- i did go back, as fast as i could, and i told squirrelflight-"
"you waited to tell her, you mean," ashfur tells him, frowning. "and he lost a life because he lost too much blood."
"but i didn't....i'd never..."
"it probably wasn't your intention," ashfur murmurs. "but that's how it happened. what if it was his last life? firestar and i trusted you to do one simple task, and you couldn't do that. you can't even look your uncle in the eye when he's talking to you."
birchpaw quivers as he slowly lifts his eyes to look into his uncles. ashfur's dark blue eyes stare back at him, just as emotionless as they did hours before.
"that's better," ashfur tells him, but it doesn't feel better. all of this is wrong.
"i was just trying to help," birchpaw whispers. "i didn't....i saw..."
"what did you see?" ashfur asks him, with a tone that birchpaw's never heard him use before: it's low, angry.
it's terrifying.
"um," birchpaw stutters. "i don't- i don't know. i don't know what i saw."
i saw you. i saw you and hawkfrost.
"if you don't even know what you saw," ashfur says slowly, "then maybe you shouldn't say anything. not to me, or to your mother. not to firestar."
birchpaw slowly lowers his gaze. how did today end up like this?
"you didn't see anything out there, birchpaw," ashfur continues. "you're an apprentice - you don't know your left paw from your right paw."
"okay."
ashfur stares at him for a long moment, sighing. "i'm not trying to scare you, birchpaw," he murmurs, "but i don't want you to get in trouble for firestar losing his life. sometimes we make mistakes; i don't want this one to be the defining moment of your apprenticehood."
shame burns through birchpaw - shame that he can't stand up to his uncle and tell him that this is all wrong.
but more shame that there's a part of him, deep down, that knows ashfur is right. if birchpaw had been quick enough, firestar wouldn't have lost a life. hawkfrost would've been stopped quicker.
and maybe....maybe ashfur was just trying to help firestar. maybe in some way, he's embarrassed because he couldn't help him, either. is that what this is about? trying to save face, because brambleclaw once again saved the day when ashfur couldn't?
"i want to be a good apprentice."
"and i'll help you do that," ashfur tells him, his voice becoming warmer. "and we'll start by making sure that today stays behind us, forever. okay?"
"okay."
it doesn't feel okay.
--
the rest of his apprenticeship goes by largely uneventfully. ashfur isn't exactly the same as before he and squirrelflight drifted apart, but he never speaks to birchpaw the way that he did the day firestar was injured.
he becomes a warrior by the name of birchfall. he makes friends, falls into an easy routine. he even still spends time with his uncle - with each passing day, the events from that afternoon become a faded memory. sometimes it plays out differently in his mind - there's days where he thinks he did see ashfur try and help firestar. where he heard him tell hawkfrost to go away.
(and maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought it was back then if the memory keeps changing. if it really was so awful, wouldn't it be the same? was he just trying to make ashfur out to be a bad cat?)
everything in thunderclan is mostly calm, until ashfur gets lionpaw as an apprentice.
he's heard cats joke about being jealous when their old mentor gets another apprentice - how it's weird, seeing the cat who taught you everything teaching someone else the same things, telling the same jokes.
he's still ashfur's nephew, so he knows that his former mentor still holds a special place in his heart for him - but it's not exactly that jealousy that other cats talk about that he feels towards lionpaw.
he feels...strange, seeing them together; there's this weird fluttering feeling he gets when he catches ashfur's expression as lionpaw walks away from him.
sometimes he can hear a voice in the back of his mind, screaming at him to go and get between the two of them. to protect lionpaw.
but ashfur....well, it's ashfur. outside of that one afternoon moons before, he's a normal warrior. he wouldn't...
so birchfall does what he did over a year prior; he buries the feelings. he can't trust his eyes - that's what ashfur told him before. he doesn't know his left paw from his right paw.
(except that he's a warrior now, and a damn good one, so why-)
that changes one day, when the talk of thunderclan is how lionpaw and ashfur got into this huge fight - claws drawn, teeth bared. ashfur scratched up pretty badly, spiderleg had told him, shaking his head.
i knew that was going to happen, he's not a medicine cat or particularly gifted, but he knew. he knew, he knew, he knew, he knew.
i knew he was going to hurt him, birchfall watches as lionpaw trudges into camp, surprisingly fine physcially - ashfur is the one with the injuries, blood dripping on the camp floor as he trudges to leafpool's den.
lionpaw is standing there after all is said and done, after cats talk to him to ask him if he's okay. standing there in the center of camp, alone.
birchfall is only foxlengths from him, watching, and the thought slips into his mind easily: i should tell him that i know what ashfur is really like. that i saw the same look in his eyes that he probably saw. that he watched firestar die inches from his paws and did nothing to help him.
he almost does it, too. the memories from that day come back, flooding his vision - ashfur's dark expression. the white flash of hawkfrost's teeth. firestar's gurgles.
i'm so sorry, firestar.
"why are you staring at me?"
birchfall snaps out of it quickly; lionpaw is staring at him, amber eyes narrowed.
"what?" birchfall blinks. "i wasn't staring at you."
"yeah, you were," lionpaw tells him, shaking his head. "weirdo." lionpaw hisses under his breath.
and before birchfall can say anything, do anything, hollypaw and cinderpaw bound up to him to talk to him, stealing the moment away.
birchfall watches the apprentices for a couple more seconds before he turns away.
he didn't see anything that day. it's his fault that firestar lost a life, anyways. that's all anyone would be able to see - firestar is one pawstep closer to being gone forever because of him.
--
birchfall keeps his word for the moons to come; lionblaze becomes a warrior with hollyleaf and cinderheart. whitewing - his longest friend, the molly who withheld her warrior ceremony for him, just so he wouldn't be alone,
(and was there for him on the nights when all he dreamt of was the lakeshore, never asking him what woke him up shaking)
well, they become closer and closer until they're not really just friends anymore, and one morning she bounds up to him to tell him that she's carrying his kits. that leafpool had just told her moments before, and she couldn't wait to find him.
and it finally feels like maybe birchfall is at peace - maybe starclan isn't angry with him after all. maybe that one thing that birchfall didn't do years ago - it'll be okay. firestar is alive and happy, with grandchildren now.
the fire rages through thunderclan not long after, but thankfully there's no casualities - he grew up hearing the stories of the one from years ago, back in the old territory before he was born, and he's glad that everyone was okay this time.
well.
he heard berrynose say that everyone had been looking for squirrelflight, her kits, and ashfur for awhile - that ashfur had turned up, laughing. he wouldn't say what was so funny, though.
he didn't think much of it, until he saw the way ashfur was acting after the fire. the way he leered after squirrelflight and her kits; hollyleaf's eyes glaring back in defiance, lionblaze's hackles raised, jayfeather's avoidance.
i don't want any part in this, he thinks, focusing on whitewing and their future together. i didn't see anything. i don't know anything. ashfur isn't dangerous.
he repeats the mantra more often than he'd like; at night, he dreams of the lakeshore for the first time in years and wakes up shuddering against spiderleg's side. his older brother shakes him off, confused, but birchfall can't meet his gaze, or anyone elses.
i didn't see anything. i didn't see anything. i didn't-
and then just like that, one day ashfur is found dead on their territory.
someone said that a patrol found him in a river, throat torn out.
it doesn't feel real to birchfall until he sees his uncles body laid out in the center of camp, with ferncloud's muzzle pressed into his fur.
that's my uncle, he thinks as he watches spiderleg lead icepaw and foxpaw to their mother, trying to comfort her. he was my mentor.
you don't know what you saw. it's ashfur's voice, clear as day in his mind as he watches his clanmates gather around the tomcat. you don't know your left paw from your right paw. you're just an apprentice; how can anyone trust you after what you did?
firestar walks over to ferncloud and dustpelt, murmuring a few kind words to them. birchfall can hear his leader's voice carrying over the wind, mentioning something about dogs, about bravery.
he watched you lose a life, birchfall wants to scream, but he can't move. he stood there and watched you gargle for breath and did nothing.
birchfall shuts his eyes. no. no, it was because of me, because i decided to take too long to go back to camp, his mind can't decide what's right or wrong. it's my fault, that's what....that's what ashfur says, and...and now he's dead, so....
"birchfall," whitewing's voice is soft; he jolts, eyes wide as he looks at his mate. she leans against him, whiskers drooping. "this is so sad. i mean....ashfur, i just- i just talked to him yesterday. he was asking me about the kits, if i was feeling okay..."
you wouldn't want to be with me if you knew what i did, ashfur had never threatened him after that day, but birchfall knew that was what his uncle was conveying to him every time they talked after that day. that he could tell everyone, and everyone would know it was birchfall's fault that firestar lost a life.
or....or wait, maybe that wasn't right. not anymore.
maybe he should blame himself for not saying anything all these years. he could've told firestar and had ashfur punished, and he didn't.
the realization burns deep in his chest; he can barely register what whitewing is saying.
ashfur knew that if you said something, any cat could probably figure out that something about his story didn't add up, birchfall thinks, his heart thudding. and you were just too stupid to realize you could have said something years ago.
"birchfall?" whitewing says, frowning. "hey, birchfall. are you okay?"
birchfall's fur raises. "i'm okay," he tells her, taking a deep breath. "all things....you know, considering, i..." he shakes his head. "i'm gonna get some air, okay?"
whitewing touches her nose to his. "i'm here, you know that, right? i've been here for you since we were 'paws."
that stings more. i could have told you years ago, birchfall touches his nose back to hers, and turns away. i can't say anything now. she'd never trust me again, i kept this secret from everyone because i was too scared of my uncle. and now he's dead, and now....
birchfall resigns himself not to think about it anymore. he can't.
he can't. he won't.
--
after his daughters are born, birchfall wants this to be his new purpose in life.
forget about the lakeshore. the foxtrap. hawkfrost. ashfur. firestar is fine now; thunderclan is fine. sure, maybe there's been some earth-shattering secrets that have been revealed, but- all in all, they're mostly fine.
ivypaw and dovepaw mean the world to him; he can't imagine being without them.
he looks at them and wants to do right by them; they'll never know the fear he's carried for all this time, the same.
he'll teach them to say something if they see something; to be outspoken, brave.
but he can barely keep his head above water; it started when he met a cat from the dark forest one night. who promised him that he could make up for the mistake he made years ago; that he could do right by firestar. by thunderclan.
he trains every night but it doesn't make the shame go away. it won't scrub off after he bathes himself. nothing works.
it's not until the wall is lifted over his eyes - after his daughter, ivypool, a warrior grown - tells him what the true intention of the dark forest was.
all the moons he spent there, training, trying to prove that he could make up for what he did - gone.
and after the battle with the dark forest, both his mother and firestar are dead - killed by the cats that birchfall wanted to impress. wanted to show that he could be better, that he could be stronger.
how did everything go so wrong? he thinks as he watches his father crouched over his mother. dustpelt won't even look at him; he doesn't know about firestar, but he knows about the dark forest. and he hates him - despises him for training with the cats who are responsible for ferncloud's death.
he's right.
"birchfall," whitewing's voice jolts him out of his thoughts. "please. i want to talk."
it was inevitable - he knows that it's over between them at this point. he follows her out of camp regardless, deep into the territory. there's birds in the trees, chirping quietly amongst themselves, and everything is in bloom, yet nothing is beautiful to him at this moment.
whitewing turns to face him, her green eyes sad. "can you just tell me why?"
birchfal looks down at his paws, just like he did years before when ashfur told him to keep quiet.
"i'm sorry," he tells her, and she scoffs.
"i'm sorry isn't an explanation," she meows. "just....why, birchfall? why would you train with cats like that? and why- our daughter was there too, why wouldn't you try and convince her not to? what's wrong with you?"
i'm a coward.
"that's still not an answer," he hadn't realized he said it aloud. he finally looks up at his mate - probably soon to be ex-mate. "you need to talk to me. you're not a 'paw anymore."
and for some reason that burns more than anything else.
you're not a 'paw. you should have said something. you should have told everyone what you saw. and you didn't. it's your fault. all your fault. everything-
"i need to tell you something," he finally says; the story is bubbling at the surface. ashfur is long dead. firestar is dead. his family hates him. whitewing is going to leave him anyway; what else does he have to lose? brambleclaw might exile him, might not; he might not care what birchfall does.
whitewing is silent; birchfall opens and shuts his mouth a few times, trying to find the words, until he meows:
"i saw what happened to firestar on the lakeshore, that day when hawkfrost from riverclan died."
whitewing frowns; she looks taken aback, and blinks a few times.
"i....ashfur...he told me that he scented blackstar on our territory," the memory comes back hazy at first, but starts to clear as he goes on: "he said to tell firestar about it. i did, but....a few minutes later when i was heading back, i could scent another cat. and i remembered ashfur was out there, and i was worried for him, so i followed him and the other cat so i could protect him. and..."
the gurgling. the look on ashfur's eyes. the sound of the water lapping at the shore.
"ashfur was standing with hawkfrost over firestar's body. he was caught in the foxtrap and....ashfur, he...." birchfall shuts his eyes. "you should've seen how he looked. he didn't care at all that firestar was dying. i ran away, i didn't....i didn't know what to do. i thought maybe i didn't see anything at all, so i just told squirrelflight what ashfur had said about blackstar when i saw her. i thought....i thought maybe if she caught ashfur and hawkfrost, it'd....she'd know what to do, more than i would....."
birchfall stares at his paws. "when i got back to camp and brambleclaw had killed hawkfrost, ashfur told me....he said i didn't see anything, and it was easier to pretend i didn't see anything. and he was...he was right - i should've just gone back to camp right away. i should've just done the right thing, not been a stupid 'paw. i should've...it's my fault that firestar lost a life. he'd still be here right now if i just had listened back then, 'cus he'd have an extra life, and..."
birchfall trails off, shaking. "so that's...that's why i wanted to train at the dark forest. because i let firestar down. because i didn't say anything all these years, and i should've....i mean, what if ashfur had hurt someone else? and i just sat there and let it happen."
it takes him a moment after everything spills out to realize that whitewing is very quiet; he finally looks up at his mate.
she looks so sad watching him; and there's a bit of anger in there, too.
"he threatened you?" whitewing finally says; birchfall winces.
"i don't....maybe, it doesn't really matter."
"you were his apprentice and his nephew," whitewing tells him firmly. "of course it matters. he knew he was manipulating you, and that you just wanted to please him, so you'd do anything to make sure you wouldn't make trouble."
whitewing's tail lashes, and she shakes his head. "that- i can't believe he did that to you, that he made you think...."
"whitewing, it's-"
"it's not your fault, birchfall," her voice is gentle, yet he can tell she's holding back so much rage, rage for ashfur, pain for firestar's death. "if you really think for one second that you have anything to do with firestar laying in that clearing right now, you're completely wrong. that was tigerstar, first of all, and ashfur's fault years ago."
"but-"
"you went to help your mentor, and you were intimidated into keeping this a secret," she tells him, stepping closer. "and now you think that because you didn't say anything, that that's worse than what he did."
"i should have said something," birchfall tells her, harsher than he means to. "i mean - for starclan's sake, whitewing, i- i saw, and i didn't do anything. i'm no better than he is-"
"you are twice the cat that ashfur was," whitewing meows firmly. "and if i had even....if i saw him right now, i'd slash his ears for doing that to you."
whitewing shakes her head, looking at him. "all these years," she whispers, frowning, "all these years, and we- when you were in the apprentices den, having nightmares..."
"you couldn't have known," he mumbles. "i didn't tell you."
"and then....birchfall, i..." she presses her noses into his neck; birchfall is stiff from shock.
"i thought you were breaking up with me," he tells her, aghast; whitewing sucks in a breath, pulling away.
"what?"
"why not? after the dark forest, all of this...."
"i'm disappointed in you for training with the dark forest," she tells him softly. "but your mother is dead, and you....you've been holding this in for years, birchfall. i can put off asking you about the dark forest for awhile; i.....i didn't know. all these years, and i had no idea you were punishing yourself for ashfur's crimes."
when she puts it like that, a small - a tiny one, really, nothing huge - light begins to flick in his mind.
i've been punishing myself, he thinks, and it strangely makes a lot of sense - thinking about the lake all these years has felt like punishment. refusing to get close to firestar out of shame was his way of punishing himself, telling himself what he did was wrong.
"i don't know if i can tell anyone else," birchfall tells her in a whisper; whitewing nods, brushing her muzzle against his.
"that's okay," she meows, "because now i know, and now i can shoulder it with you."
"it's not a very romantic secret." he doesn't say it like a joke, but she still smiles a little.
"it's not," she shrugs. "but no one helped birchpaw back then; i'm here for you now."
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winterarmyy · 9 months
Text
Promise Me | Part II
When he was sent out for war, Bucky made a promise to his lover that might just last through several lifetimes.
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Navigation: Part I | Part II | Part III (end)
Words: 5.2k++
Pairing: 40s!bucky / eventually tfatws!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: little angst, melancholy but fluffy stuff, we have bucky's pov in this one, lovers who missed each other very much, emotional reunion, probably bad writing of fighting scenes (sorry guys), mentions of suicide, mentions of sexy times, death of main character (y/n' s past life), another attempt to follow mcu timeline, otherwise, nothing that's too heavy/sensitive for anyone to read.
P/S: Thanks so much for the feedbacks in previous chapters! Here's the new update, guys! I hope you enjoy your reading!
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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Brooklyn, 2024 – Glimpses of the past
"So, Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?" Dr. Raynor asked as she leaned leisurely on her chair. However long it had been since the first time she met Bucky on their first therapy session, she still couldn't crack the man to talk more than he deem necessary.
Bucky sat silently on the sofa that was certainly big enough to fit three people with its size, as he stared blankly at the door behind Dr. Raynor, wanting to avoid eye contact with the woman.
"James, I asked you a question." She prompted as she crosses her legs together. "Are you still having nightmares?"
If he was being truthful, then his answer would've been yes, however he decided to test if she managed to see through him, "No." He replied with a convincing tone.
Dr. Raynor paused for a moment as she eyed his behaviour,  "We’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell when you’re lying." She quirked her eyebrow as if she was non-verbally asked him to cut the crap.
"Well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?"
Yes. Something did happened recently.
Sure, there was the horrid nightmare that had been haunting him in his sleep most of the nights, but lately there was something else that's been making unannounced appearance in his dreams. Something much older than his memories of the Winter Soldier.
They were glimpses of the past where he was but a man in his mid 20's living his best life with a woman he thought he was going to end up growing old with.
Bucky saw images of his younger, undamaged self tangled up in bed with that woman. His hands raking through her raven hair as he pushed the mess away from her face. And when she whined in her sleep he would let out a soft chuckle as he lovingly stroke his thumb across her cheek.
He remembered feeling the tug in his chest when the morning light touches her brown eyes as she peeled them open. He remembered the sweet smile she graced upon him as she pulled him in for an innocent kiss. He remembered the warmth of her naked skin rubbing against his own when she snuggled back into his body.
Those were always a pleasant dream to have during his sleepless nights. However rare it was to have them; he found himself spared in the gentle grace that she left behind from those loose pieces of memories. He realized that his broken soul yearns for her peace more than his will longs for his freedom.
"No." He lied again.
"You’re a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna…" Dr. Raynor gestured her hands as if there was an invisible knife in her grasp as she motioned a stabbing movement.
Bucky let out a silent sigh, nodding his head with a somewhat forced derpy smile as she continued to explain, "It’s a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare."
However, Bucky remained stubborn on keeping the memories of his lover to himself. He simply shook his head as he briefly looked to the side and out the window, before coming back and confessed, "I didn’t have a nightmare."
Dr. Raynor breathed deeply, letting the air out through her nose as she clicked on the mechanical pen. The pointer latched on the surface of the lined papers as she started to write down her observation.
Bucky who was sitting on the opposite side only scoffed in respond to her petty attempt of threat, "Oh, come on. Really?" He taunted, "You’re gonna do the notebook thing?" Rolling his eyes in annoyance as he commented his thoughts outspokenly, "Why? It’s passive aggressive."
"You don’t talk. I write." The therapist replied with a short comeback.
Bucky glared intensely at her before letting out a sigh, "Okay. Okay."
His flesh fingers started to fiddle with his metal ones, a habit which he noticed he recently picked up after getting used to the high-tech vibranium arm.
"It wasn't a nightmare. It's just..."  Bucky didn't know how to put it in words other than, "...a good dream."
It was in the peak of witching hours, when Y/N stood in the middle of the tiny kitchen section of her lover's humble apartment. The quiet of the night sometimes interrupted by the sound of the droplets trickling from the faucet.
There was a luminating light of the full moon that leaks through the open window, granting enough of a vision to see the layout of the kitchen. The stillness of the air made Y/N wonder if this is what she would need to go through soon.
Just an empty atmosphere without the presence of her lover.
And there she goes again, wondering in the seemingly endless darkness, thinking of the worst things that could possibly happen.
She had been staring unblinkingly at the counter top for who knows how long since she was woken up from her slumber.
Y/N couldn't go back sleep even if she needed to. Not when tomorrow is the day that she dreaded the most. The day Bucky was going on his first call, to be sent away to England first thing morning.
"Missed you in bed, yknow?" The huskiness of Bucky's voice broke her from the gloomy thoughts. 
Y/N turned around to first see the bare shape of her lover's body, lean and slightly muscular, then trailed up to his sleepy grin, barely opened eyes and the mess of his bed hair sticking out all over the place.
She had to admit, partially, it was her fault for constantly pulling on them when he went down on her. But it was also important to note that it was entirely his fault for being so damn good at it.
Bucky's humming was hoarse when he walked towards her, "What are you doing up, doll?" While Y/N watched his naked figure moved closer.
Bucky Barnes is a beautiful man.
She knew that even before they started dating but it is a wonder that his beauty still to manage to catch her off guard sometimes.
The moment he engulfed her into his arms, she whispered onto his skin, "Can't sleep." She kept it short and ambiguous but that only became the biggest giveaway to Bucky.
Bucky effortlessly lifted her up on the counter as he settled comfortably in between her legs. His hands trailed along the side of her thighs, casually lifting up the thin material of her night gown before going under it to gently fondle with the flesh of her hips.
He leaned upwards, placing the softest kiss on her lips as he murmured, "Everything's going to be alright, y/n." He kissed her again for a good measure, "I'll be home to you before you know it."
Y/N wrapped arms around his neck, pulling him closer until their forehead touches each other's, "You must write me, always." She spoke quietly; as if it was a secret she wanted to keep from the world.
"You must tell me everything, James. Don't hide anything from me; every blood, sweat and tears. I want to know all of it." Her eyes pleaded desperately, "You must be safe." Their lips hovered over each others; so close, barely even touching, "And come home."
The blue of his eyes were glazed with so much love and adoration as he whispered, "I promise, doll. I'm not going to die before I meet you at the end of the isle."
Somehow, Bucky always knew what to say to make her crack a smile, "I love you, James. Too much for my own good." She pulled him as she kissed his soft lips, "I love you too, y/n. More than anything." He grabbed her by the head, latching his mouth on hers as if it was their last kiss.
Before she knew it, Bucky swiftly pulled her off from the counter and grabbed her onto his shoulder, causing her to yelp in surprise. "Oh my god, Bucky! Put me down right now!" The brunette simply laugh as she shriek his name, "James!"
"James!" Dr. Raynor managed to pull Bucky out of his thoughts. "You're clearly out of it today." She remarked before continuing, "And so, this woman in your dreams... Is she someone you knew back in the 40's?"
Bucky replied, "Most probably." He hesitated as he thought thoroughly, "Or it could just be a made up character that only exists in my dreams."
"Does she perhaps, have a name?" Dr. Raynor asked, in which he simply answered, "She does."
There was brief silence of unbroken eye-contact between them, before Bucky realized that the therapist was silently enquiring her name.
Bucky straightened his position in his seat as blatantly stated, "I'm not telling you her name." That was where he drew the line. Therapist or not; she didn't need to know his lover's identity.
Dr. Raynor hanged her hands up as a sign of defeat, "Okay, okay. That's fair." That was when the timer on her phone went off, "Oh, time's up." She reached for her phone and slide across the screen.
She quickly stood on her feet as soon as Bucky did on his own, "That would be all for this session. Thank you for coming in today, Mr. Barnes."
He had to let out a sarcastic chuckle when he said, "It's not that I want to anyway. It's mandatory." He walked towards the door but before he could turn the knob, Dr. Raynor spoke.
"Outside of this 'mandatory' session, I'd say my advice to you as a friend, is to maybe find her. Or her family." She suggested, "And if you're lucky..." She briefly paused, "...maybe she's still alive somewhere."
Bucky remained static for a moment before he spoke, "Thanks, Doc." He didn't look back to face her at all, before walking out the room feeling much more burdened than he did entering it.
Dr. Raynor's advice soon turned out to be a constant dilemma to him more than he anticipated.
Virginia, 1991 – The man she once loved
Y/N panicked. She didn't think the appearance of that metal-armed man will trigger a deep-rooted memories she was desperately trying to forget; spiralling her back into old chapters of her previous life.
It was the year of 1991 and Y/N was in her 6th life. She was a black widow that went rogue after managed on escaping the Red Room program about a few years prior. She was drunk on hatred and vengeance that she almost recklessly killed half of the people in her facility on the day she escaped.
It's not to say that she came out uncut, it was quite the opposite really. Y/N had left the grounds with multiple holes on her body and a deep wound her face; a cut from the inner edge of her right brow all the way across her left cheek.
And that left her with a very prominent and unforgettable scar. Though she couldn't care less about it, especially when she knew Hydra was out there still thriving under another intellegence organization like some kind of parasite.
After she heard the news that Howard Stark has successfully replicate the super soldier serum, she is now somewhere in Virginia, trying to hijack the products before it falls in the hands of the Pentagon or worst, Hydra.
Unfortunately for her, the worst thing that could happen, happened.
Someone from Hydra managed to get their hands on them before she could, leaving the corpses of Howard Stark and his wife in the broken down car, posing it as a road accident.
The bodies was still warm and she knew the culprit won't be far from the crime scene, so she rode on forward until managed to catch up with him. She never intended to confront him head on. She was planning to follow him to the meeting point where they will transfer the products to another Hydra agent, like they always do.
But he certainly didn't care about her plan when he changed his route to a different location. She didn't even realized that her incognito was useless when he nearly shot her in the head.
Now, with her cover blown, it was just him and her alone at the gate of an abandoned building. "Well, shit." Y/N cursed.
She could feel the heavy tension from the atmosphere. Silence from the wordless man were screaming louder than her pumping heartbeat.
There were only two of those run-down street lamp that helped to brigthen up the battlefield. But even with the dying light, Y/N could see the silver of left arms, a red star on the upper side, black mask covering lower half of his face and a messy black shadow all over his eyes.
She knew who he was; though most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. Hydra's most prized asset from the Winter Soldier program that Y/N had been trying to track for months.
Maybe it was a careless greed, or maybe she was just tired of living. But, Y/N dared herself to fight the against super soldier. It was intense but completely one-sided as the soldier managed to counter most her punches and kicks.
There were times that she felt like he was simply playing around with her and that riled Y/N to the core. If it wasn't enough for God to toy with her life, now this weapon of Hydra is joining the fun.
She was sick of it; and it got her to be impatient. That, however, was a mistake that she shouldn't have done especially during a hand-to-hand combat with the Winter Soldier himself. 
Y/N ducked down from his swinging arm as she surged her own towards him but the man could see her moves from a mile away, so he dropped his knife to his other hand and managed to strike the blade right into where her pulsing heart resides.
All the times she had ripped her own life, it seemed that her soul was used to the pain that it took a few moments of time to register the pain.
"Ah, this is truly exhausting." She thought to herself.
She wanted it to end.
She wanted to rest. For good.
In her hazy vision, she looked up at the soldier and noticed that he had been staring blankly into her eyes; like a curious predator watching his dying prey.
She knew it was wrong, but looking closer at the shade of blue in his dead and frozen eyes, she couldn't help to find the resemblance in the man she once loved.
It was cruel to find the semblance of her lover in the eyes of her killer, but that tends to happen when a person's soul longed for someone so much that everything and anything became the reminder of them.
Streams of tears trickled down into her ears as her blood seeped through her clothes, staining the fabric and the ground under her.
Instead of hearing the sound of the soldier's footstep walking away, all she could hear was the vivid memories of Bucky's laughter, "I miss you, James."
She truly did.
She missed him so much that she wished that she can finally die this time around, praying for a chance to meet him once more.
But alas, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Not when the God hates her now.
"I miss you so much." her voice shivered as she whispered her last breath.
Madripoor, 2024 – Long-lost lover
Easy to say, Y/N was furious that she let the memories of her past, the appearance of the winter soldier, distract her focus for her mission. She was furious that she didn't manage to get into Wilfred's lab before someone else did.
Don't get her wrong, though.
She was somewhat grateful when she found him dead, because that's means there's one less parasite that could potentially revive Hydra from the recreation of super soldier serum. But, she was pissed that she wasn't able to dig for more information about his research and the people he was affiliated with.
She knew he was recruited by the CIA before the blip but seeing that his lab is now basically a cargo, located in Madripoor, she doubt that he has anything to do with CIA now.
He's probably working with someone else in the underground scene.
Y/N sat leg-crossed on stacks of cargo, as she watched the scene from afar. The bounty hunters were ruthlessly attacking a group of criminals that attacked Shelby last night, while they were completely out-numbered.
She heard from the bar that it was considerably a high pay for the rewards especially when the targets were consists of the runaway prisoner, Zemo, Hydra's weapon, the Winter Soldier and the member of Avenger, the Falcon.
It was indeed an odd group of people but she couldn't care less about how that came to be. What caught her attention was the fact that the Falcon, who is a member of the Avenger, was affiliated with the Winter Soldier, who is an asset of Hydra.
And the fact that they were digging their feet in the underground world for the super soldier serum making the trio combination even more concerning.
She knew it was the best bet to approach the Falcon for information rather than going for the other two, so when the group split up during their fight, she quietly followed the Falcon.
He was a bit clumsy when fighting alone; or maybe it was because the hunters kept streaming in non-stop. Nonetheless, one by one, eventually the Falcon managed to take them down.
Y/N lurked at the corner, quietly observing his fighting style as he struggled with the few that was left.
"He's going to run out of ammo." She thought to herself.
And two shots later, he did.
There were two hunters left and he had no choice but to use his fists. Looking at him now, maybe he suited the hand-to-hand combat style more than gun combat. Y/N noticed his moves are more seamless than when he fight with a gun a few seconds ago.
The Falcon breathed heavily as the last hunter was tackled down. She decided that it had to be now or never, at least before the winter soldier came to the scene to regroup. When she stepped out of her camouflage, the Falcon only noticed her presence that he missed the red dot on his chest.
But, Y/N saw it, "Fuck! He can't die. Not before I get what I want." She couldn't let him go without getting information she needed from him.
In mere seconds, she jumped towards him and managed to pulled him away from the target. However, it was not far enough, that was when the bullet grazed on his side. Y/N quickly grabbed her throwing knife and land it right into the hunter's head.
The Falcon staggered backwards, meeting his back on the side of the cargo as he groaned in pain. His eyes scanned the appearance of his potential saviour; hooded figure, mask-covered face, assassin-like dressed – he realized that she matched the description of what Sharon had warned him before.
"So before we move, this might be unrelated, but I gotta warn you guys about someone." Sharon spoke as she equipped herself.
The three men looked over her as they gave their undivided attention, "While last night was hectic with the return of the Winter Soldier." She briefly looked over at Bucky, "But, there was also another person that made an appearance."
"She's known as the Deathstalker." She paused. "What I can say about her is she's a basically mystery; appeared out of thin air a few months into the blip." Sharon explained, earning a couple of nods from Sam and the signature frown from Bucky.
However, Zemo simply smiled and commented, "Ah, the pretty little Deathstalker." The mannerism of his speech was thick with Sokovian accent.
"You know her?" Sharon quirked.
Zemo smiled again, this time a little bit too smug, "We might have once crossed our path." He kept it ambiguous.
"When? You were in the prison years before the blip." Sam frowned as he questioned.
Sipping on the glass of liquor, Zemo answered, "She may or may not have 'visited' me to get some information about Hydra."
The mention of Hydra caught Bucky's attention but he kept it well hidden under his stoic expression. Noticing Sam's confusion with Zemo's insinuating answer, Bucky simply laid it out for him, "It means, she broke into the prison, Sam." he simply sighed.
Sam jutted his lips as he shrugged, "Guess you're not the only one who's insane here, Buck." He teased as he poked fun of Bucky's decision of 'breaking into the prison' to let Zemo out.
"You said, 'pretty little Deathstalker'. So you've seen her face?" Sharon asked curiously as she crossed her arms to her chest. No one had seen the assassin's face before, so she could help but to ask.
Zemo shook his head, "No. But that signature mask of hers cannot hide the beauty within." He smirked as he recalled the look in the Deathstalker's eyes; she had that obsession for vengeance. As he did when he broke the Avengers apart .
"You see, I've always had the eyes for beautiful things." He explained as if it was a natural thing to say.
Sharon knew shouldn't let herself expect too much from Zemo, especially when he had that attitude. She simply rolled her eyes and walked towards the seat next to Sam.
Bucky leaned his back into the sofa, spreading his legs apart as he asked, "Is she gonna be a problem?" An assissin that's been breaking into prison to ask Zemo about Hydra. That doesn't seem like a casual information to overlook.
Sharon shrugged as she continued, "Well, depends on your move. But, I'd advice you to never get on her bad side. People speculated that she's a rogue assassin turned bounty hunter but the thing is... she has never taken any job."
Bounty hunters get their money from jobs that's advertised all over the city. So, the Deathstalker couldn't be called a Bounty Hunter when she never take jobs before. If it were up to Sharon, the Deathstalker was much suited under the same category as Ronin, the masked vigilante who tracks down and slaughters criminals during the blip.
Sharon explained that, "She just stalks around the underground scene, and leave bodies behind for people to find."
Zemo interjected, "Hence, her name." Gaining a glare from Sharon, that translates to "Do you want to tell the story or what?"
"Right." Sam nodded as he takes in the information.
After earning a silent apology from Zemo, Sharon continued, "No one knows who she works for or what her aim is but there's rumours she's been hunting down Hydra, or anyone and anything affiliated to it."
Again, the Deathstalker's obsession with Hydra had caught Bucky's attention. A rogue assassin seemingly made it her mission to hunt down Hydra?
Bucky doesn't know what to make of that. So, he kept his questions to himself. Eitherway, if she gets in their way, he'd still need to fight against her.
"Why are you telling us this again?" Sam asked as he didn't find the connection between their mission and the Deathstalker.
Sharon replied, "It's just worth to note that she might be hunting for Wilfred Nagel too." She paused as her gaze fell into Bucky's, "...since the super soldier serum had been Hydra's obsession for centuries."
The Dealthstalker technically saved his life.
So, does that mean that she was not an enemy?
Sam was struggling between containing his pain and coming up with a plausible conclusion but Y/N's action quickly give him the answer he needed.
Within seconds, she had Sam pinned against the wall as the edge of her sharp blade dug into the skin of his neck, "What is an Avenger doing with the Asset?" Her voice sounded distorted through the voice-changing mask.
"Lady, I don't know what you're talking about!" He grunted in protest.
Sam was not used to Bucky being labeled as an "asset". Sure, he knew the name of Winter Soldier or Soldat. But, Bucky was never addressed as the Asset, at least not by the people around him.
Y/N grabbed him by the collar and harshly slammed him against the metal of the cargo behind him, causing him to curse as the pain struck on the side of his abdomen.
"Are you planning to revive Hydra?" Her menancing eyes searched into his, demanding for a truthful answer.
What kind of bullshit was she talking about?
Reviving Hydra?
Why the hell would he do that?
However, before Sam could retort to her accusation, Y/N was pulled back by an arm, wrapped around her neck from behind. She knew it was the Winter Soldier from the cold metal burning into her skin. The soldier's other hand grabbed onto her wielded hand, forcefully bending her wrist until the knife fell from her grasp.
He easily lifted her up in the air as he backed away, tightening the lock of his left arm around her neck while twisting her right hand to her back with his flesh hand. The smaller let out a robotic groan through her mask as she struggled in his chokehold.
While the two wrestled in between holding one down and freeing oneself, Sharon quickly ran to Sam's side, "Are you alright?" she prompted as she examined his wounds. The male simply nodded his head, "Yeah, it's just a graze." He explained before asking, "Is that the Deathstalker chick that you've been talking about?"
Sharon followed his gaze, and eyed the woman who was still struggling in Bucky's hold before she managed to land a paticularly sharp strike right into Bucky's stomach, "Yeap, that would be her." Sharon answered.
Usually a few strikes by an elbow of a woman doesn't really hurt the super soldier but unfortunately for him, the elbows of the suit Y/N was wearing were armored with thin yet effective pad made of vibranium. Due to its ability is to absorb and dissipate shocks, it managed to push him back and simultaneously loosen his hold on her.
When his guard was down, Y/N took the opportunity to  slightly twist her foot back around his and grab onto his left arm. She pushed her bottom into his hips as she bend over, pulling onto his arm as she flipped him forward.
Y/N stepped backwards, standing on guard as the soldier rolled over on the ground before finding a position to stop the inertia; one knee of the ground while the other leg paused at his foot with his back facing her.
Her hands reached to her back and pulled two knives from the holster on the belt, gripping them by the handle while the blades facing downwards. She bended her knees into stance, much like a panther ready to pounce.
But when the soldier stood on his feet and turned around, suddenly her defensive stance flatter and her breath were cut short. The battled-tensed surroundings did not matter when all she could see was the soldier's face.
He looked a bit aged from the last time she saw him but a lot younger considering it was decades ago.
How could she forget those livid-blue eyes sharpen beneath the deep frown he was wearing?
Or the softness of his pursed lips ghosting over her own?
Even if the smooth skin of his forehead were now decorated with thin lines of wrinkles, and the exhaustion in the discoloration under his eyes had overshadowed the playful glint he used to have; they could never fool her to believe that the man standing in front of her right now was not her long-lost lover.
"James?" Her voice was gentle but the voice changer behind her mask didn't quite conveyed her tone.
Suddenly, the high walls of her defences begin to crumble into mere pieces of fragments like crushed dried leaves on autumn grounds. Time suspended, almost too still, as if it was trying to give her the luxury to cherish the revelation; to revel in the moment of joy and relief.
And there wasn't any thoughts formulated in the fog of her mind besides the need to melt in his arm. Somehow the dark side of her mind managed to trick her into believing that if she didn't touch him now, then she would perish in despair.
Her feet inches forward closer and closer, and her knives were long forgone, leaving clancking sounds on the surface of the ground.
When Bucky heard his name uttered by the woman, somehow it didn't sound foreign to him. It was as if he'd heard it before.
And when he saw the wet glaze in her brown eyes as she hesitantly walk towards him, he knew then that she was not approaching with an intent to kill him; he'd dare to say it was quite the opposite.
There were so much emotions in her gaze; grief, yearning, sorrow, need, joy – that he even his ex-assassin's skill couldn't possibly decipher them all. And that had impeccably managed froze every nerves in his body until he can only stood there, paralyzed on his spot.
With each hesitant step, more tears started to swell in her eyes. Step by step she took, hoping he wasn't another fragments of hallucination that she made up to ease her needs, until she finally stood close enough to him to realize he was real.
Bucky knew he should move. Reprimand her before she could land any sneak attack that he might not expect; but he couldn't. Not when she gaze up at him with that look in her eyes.
He unexpectedly drowned himself in those waves of emotions in her eyes, not realizing her actions until her shivering hands cupped his face.
Her fingers were cold as if they were soaked in ice.
Her voice slightly cracked when she spoke, "Is that really you, James?" Even if she was looking directly into his eyes, somehow the question sounded like it directed towards herself rather than to Bucky.
It's real.
He's real.
Her eyes casted down to where her skin met his warmth. There was a slight tingle when her thumbs rubbed against the stubble of his jaw, prickling her skin perfectly just as she remembered.
"It's you. James. It's really you." She mumbled under her breath, convincing herself over and over as if her brain refused to acknowledge it while her heart does otherwise.
Bucky, on the other hand, didn't know what to do or what to say. But, he hadn't heard anyone called him by that name so affectionately since Y/N. The lover he left behind during WWII, who's grave he had been visiting every Tuesday morning ever since that particular session with Dr. Raynor.
However, something in his guts were screaming at him to reach out to this woman's plea as she cried in his presence, lost in her own world as she muttered his name again and again.
But, why?
Why does he feel the need to cradle her body in his arms, and whisper the sweetest things to calm her down?
Why?
Bucky gulped as his eyes loomed over hers, "Who are you?"
<< Part I || Part III >>
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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A/N: Feel free to leave feedbacks! I'd love to hear your thoughts! Until then, see you in the next part 🤍
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The attractive voice part 3 please! When Donnie and reader decide to meet in real life together! :D
The Attractive Voice: part 3 (Angst?/Fluff)
2007!Donatello x reader
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Part 1 (Fluff) Part 2 (18+)
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A/N: This one is not 18+, as it didn’t seem to fit quite right with what I had in mind💜
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All characters are aged up
Warning: None, other than spelling💜
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When do you call a relation between you and another person a relationship? After you called each other even day, just to hear the voice that made your hearts skip a beat, and put bright smiles on your faces? Or was it fitting to do so after you started to do everything together, with each other over the phone? Or could you do it after you and Donnie would stay on the phone together late at night, pleasuring yourselves to the sounds of the other? Well, maybe.
You and Donnie had not yet gotten to a point, where either of you had felt brave enough, to bring up the topic of relationship status or titles. You feared that a conversation like that would scare Donnie away, while Donnie feared a talk about relationship status would bring up another topic - meeting up in real life.
During all your conversations, Donnie feared the day you would ask to see or meet him. He had no idea how to react the day you would ask to meet him. He really wanted to meet you, and the face of the person he had been talking to for so long. But how was he going to explain his appearance? Was he just going to tell you that he in fact was a mutant turtle, and just hope that you would go with it? Or let alone believe him. And that was making Donnie nervous.
But while Donnie was nervous, fearful the moment you would ask to see him, you had gotten curious. You were trying to create an image in your head, based on the few things you knew about Donatello. He had brown eyes, part Italian and part Japanese and very muscular. However, that was a pretty vague picture, so you had been starting to ask small questions. His height, his nose, his hair, his ears and so on. And with every question, you could hear the nervousness in Donnie’s voice when he vaguely answered. You chuckled it up to Donnie not being confident in his own appearance, and therefore you decided to not push him too far, too fast. You had plenty of time, so there was no need for rushing anything. But both of you knew, without telling each other, that it wouldn’t take long before that conversation would make its way up.
But life continued, slowly inching closer to the day that you and Donnie finally would meet. Even if it wasn’t in the way that you had expected.
You were walking home from work one evening, after your closing shift that weekend, dialing Donnie on your phone. Nothing about your sometimes late shifts, Donnie had asked you to call him when you walked home, so he could make sure that you were okay, all the way home to your apartment, with your door locked safely behind you. And even then you would stay on the phone together, talking late in the night, almost falling asleep on the phone together.
You started walking down the street with your phone to your ear, listening to the ringing as you waited for Donnie to pick up. The wind blew cold air around you, making you pull your jacket closer around you, sending looks down the street behind you. The ringing turned to beeping, and you looked at your phone in confusion, calling Donnie’s number once more. Why wasn’t he picking up? This wasn’t like Donnie. He always picked up, even if he was in the middle of something.
You looked at your phone, getting ready to text Donnie and ask him what was going on, when suddenly something large fell from above, slamming into the pavement from above, sending dust flying into the air, breaking the sidewalk in the process. You were horrified to see a large creature, with fur, horns, large yellow eyes and long sharp teeth, along with what looked like big hands and feet, with claws like nails at the end of each finger.
You staggered backwards, unable to take your eyes off the creature in front of you, hearing the low grunts as it heaved for air. Then suddenly, as the dust slowly started to settle, the creature turned its gaze towards you. You almost stumbled, feeling fear rush over you, causing you to freeze in its line of sight. It roared, the sound sending waves through you, yet you did not move. All you could do was scream. Scream and stare as it came rushing towards you, its claws ready to lash out at you.
But before any claws could get you, or any pain could befall your body, you were pushed out of the way - no, you were carried. In a pair of strong arms, carrying you off to a safer part of the street in a hurry. You looked up at your carrier, only to be met by a green face. A green face, a shell on their back, with a bow staff strapped on to said shell, and a purple bandana wrapped around your face, with a pair of eye holes, allowing you to see a pair of brown eyes.
You almost screamed, panic flashing across your face once more. First a monster falling from the top of a building, and now this. But your carrier was quick to hush you, placing you on your feet, maintaining eye contact as they held onto your shoulders. They were trying to comfort you.
“Don’t worry”, they said, in a familiar voice. A voice you could recognize anywhere. “I got you. Me and my brothers got this. You’re safe-”.
“Donnie?”, you asked, staring at him in shock.
They mutant turtles stared at you with wide eyes, feeling as if all air had been knocked out of him, forgetting all about the monster behind him, and his brothers that were currently trying to fight it.
“(Y/N)?”, he asked, his voice shivering. His hands shook on your shoulders, your eyes never leaving one another. Damn, he had some deep brown eyes.
Donnie felt his mouth go dry, several emotions rushing through him. Fear and happiness, along with pleasant surprise. You were there before him. You in your beautiful form - much more beautiful than he could ever had imagined you to be. But you were looking at him. His green turtle form, standing before you with his hands on your shoulders, unsure of what you thought of him. The mixture of emotions made his stomach hurt and his heart pound like crazy. He almost felt sick, fearing you would scream or yell. But before you could ever do such a thing, there was shouting from Donnie’s brothers, followed by the monster storming towards the two of you.
Donnie acted quick, pushing you behind him and pulled his bow staff from his shell, taking a stance before the creature. You watched as Donnie swung his staff at the creature, hitting it over the head, causing it to whimper and back up a bit, giving Donnie’s brothers enough time to come and help him out. However, during the ensuing struggle, the monster managed to get away. With a loud roar, it jumped to the top of the nearby building, before running into the night, causing the four brothers to groan in annoyance. But Donnie did not.
Donnie turned to you, fearful of what he would see. He expected you to be scared of him, tell him to never talk to you again, and run away. He feared that you were horrified by not just his looks, but this sudden introduction to not only his appearance, but the life he was living. But to his surprise, you still stood there, your expression shocked, but with a glint of admiration. If there had been any disgust, it was impossible for Donnie to detect, even as he tried to look for it in your beautiful face.
“Listen, (Y/N)”, he started, hoping that he could save what might have been ruined. “I know what this looks like, and I can explain everything, but-”.
Donnie did not get to finish that sentence, before you had wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling the shocked mutant close to you, so that you could plant your lips firmly on his. Donnie froze, not daring to fully believe what was happening. You were kissing him, even after seeing who he truly was. But after a moment he allowed himself to relax against you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer against his plastron, ignoring the sound of his brothers’ jaws hitting the pavement, staring in shock at the scene in front of them.
Pulling from the kiss, you smiled at Donnie, joy appearing big and bright on your face, and your eyes shining just as much. This confused Donnie. This was not how he had expected you to react.
“Aren’t you mad at me?”, Donnie asked, his eyes wide and an unbreakable smile on his face as he fought for his breath.
You chuckled and shook your head. “There’s no way I could be mad at you”, you said. “All though this wasn’t was I expected”. You gestured to his body. “But I could not never be mad at it”.
For a moment Donnie just stared at you, your words echoing through his head. He didn’t know what to say, nor what to do. But with the growing happiness bubbling up inside of him, he could only do one thing, and that was to pull you in for another kiss. And you kissed back with a smile. You now knew that Donnie did not only have an attractive voice, but an interesting yet handsome face to go with it. And suddenly the thought of having an official relationship, didn’t seem so far off anymore.
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seresinhangmanjake · 10 months
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For the drabbles!
I saw this tik tok where a toddler was meeting her baby brother for the first time and she thanks her mom which is something I feel like Eve would do
It is absolutely something Eve would do! 🥰
Oh, Baby Series
Words: 941
Alright, manic brain has been in full force again, so it's not perfect. My bad. It's also the slightest bit different from the ask.
---
You're about four months pregnant. Not so round as to be incredibly noticeable to the common stranger, but round enough at this point that, for Eve, looking at your stomach has become a daily curiosity. She knows there's a baby in there even though you haven't told her. She just knows it. She's smart for her age and watched her preschool teacher's tummy grow with a baby of her own, so when you get the slightest bump, you realize her eyes are now more often on your midsection than not.
She hasn’t asked yet (because you'd taught her it's not polite to ask people if they are pregnant), and you haven’t officially told her, either.
It feels wrong, though. She’s your daughter. She deserves to know she’s going to be a big sister, but you and Jake both know Eve has held every scrap of your attention for four whole years. From the moment you discovered you were pregnant again, you’ve been worrying about her reaction. She’s a bold kid. Opinionated. Stubborn. And therefore, occasionally unpredictable in her emotions. Yes, she’s wanted a sibling, but like any other child, it’s very possible that amidst her incessant begging for a baby brother, she neglected to consider that having another child in the house means that Mama and Daddy's attention will soon be divided.
That alone makes Jake terrified to tell Eve. Lingering guilt over missing her first few months of life has snuck back to the surface and he doesn’t want to disappoint her or make her think she’ll be any less loved. He can’t stand the thought of seeing her little face lose its smile, and doing anything to fill her eyes with big fat tears has always brought on bouts of nausea. So, the topic has been avoided.
But with each day that passes, the crueler it’s become to not share what you’ve known for months. So you and Jake pull your courage together and sit Eve down one morning to tell her the truth.
Jake's beside you on the couch, Eve nestled in his lap when you explain she's going to be a big sister. You expect an array of emotions—you and your husband being so prepared that you’d gone so far as to imagine the moment playing out in a very specific way: a look of awe then a wave of excitement followed by the potential settling in of pure jealousy.
On all counts you are wrong.
Your daughter is quiet as she stares at your stomach post news. Then she tilts her head back to receive her father’s encouraging smile before looking to you.
"He's really in there right now?" she asks.
And you answer: "Yes."
She takes a beat to consider your confirmation, her head tilting to the side. "But when did he get there?"
Jake looks at you with panic on his face. Oddly, no matter how curious your daughter has proven to be, your husband always finds himself blindsided by the unexpectedness of her questions. You, however, tend to manage just fine, and more often than not are willing to be rather honest with her. But you can't exactly tell Eve her baby brother "got there" during fifteen-minute shower sex in the hotel at Disneyland.
"Um,” you chuckle, “not too long ago."
She pulls away from Jake's lap and moves onto yours, and you lift your shirt up a bit so she can put her tiny hands to your belly. Her fingers are spread wide, as if covering as much of your skin as possible might mean her brother can feel her too.
"He isn't moving, Mama," she notes. "What is he doing?"
"Resting up," you reply. "It takes a lot to join the world."
She remains that way, just staring and feeling. And you glance at Jake, as unsure as he is of your daughter's next move, or thought, or word, until she mutters a quiet "Oh" and her face falls.
You cup her little chin and stroke her cheek with your thumb. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”
With her lip worried between her teeth, she turns her head away from your gentle grasp and begins to fiddle with her fingernails. Like mother, like daughter, you think.
"Will he like me?” She asks so softly.
It only takes that brief moment to break your heart for the little girl who has never once had to worry about not being loved.
“Oh, baby girl," Jake sighs.
He runs his hand down the length of her blonde curls, then tucks strands behind her ear so he can have a clear view of the side of her face. "Of course he will."
"But how do you know, Daddy?"
"Because you're his big sister. And you're the only big sister he will ever have,” your husband stresses. “You will love and protect one another because that is what brothers and sisters do.” Then he squeezes her hand, smiles, and says “Ok?”
Despite his lovely argument, it's clear Jake hasn't fully convinced her.
She looks up at him. "But–"
"Baby girl, how often is Daddy wrong?"
Eve quickly turns her head so her eyes can meet yours. "Mama, how often is Daddy wrong?"
"Not very," you say through your laugh. "You can trust him."
Her lips quirk to the side. A beat passes, then she nods. "Ok."
She takes a breath before leaning forward to rest her ear against your belly. Jake grins at you as you rub your girl's back.
“Thank you," you suddenly hear in that sweet voice.
“For what, sweetie?"
“For getting me a baby brother.”
---
@wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @cinderellasmissingshoe @leila22rogers @novagreen04 @multifandomlover4life @mayhemmanaged @memeorydotcom @ryiamarie
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popopretty · 1 year
Text
BSD Chapter 107
"In the Narrow Room" - Part 3.1
We got a rather long chapter this month and the plot is progressing! Asagiri is always so unpredictable and I love it so much.
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Please note that I don't speak English nor Japanese as a native language and I am also super excited about the chapter so I may make mistakes here and there. Please have mercy on me ;_;
SPOILERS AHEAD
After hearing Teruko talk about the true purpose of The Decays of Angel, Atsushi's head becomes confused with all the thoughts of what is right or wrong. He wishes someone could answer all of his questions. He remembers how Dazai used to show up in his thought when he struggles, and wonder why this time he cannot hear Dazai's voice anymore.
He stops at the foot of the tower and notices Aya and Bram there. He tries to go and rescue them, but it turns out to be a trap, with Akutaga jumps out to attack him.
Sigma is finding his way in the prison after escaping from the elevator. He thinks about what happened. He remembers Dazai checking the elevator before getting on it, and realizes that Dazai already knew the elevator was dangerous from the beginning, and he probably just got on it because it is what needs to be done to save the Agency. Sigma also recalls Dazai's expression underwater, he wonders if its the face when Dazai realized that the elevator was going to fall, and that's why Dazai acted the way he did. Sigma wants to run away by himself because he thinks an ordinary person like him cannot do anything. He then found a paper on the floor. It is written in Russian, that says "Save me" (Notes: The original text is just "Please save", it is not clear who it is telling him to save)
Back to Atsushi and Akutagawa. Atsushi still doesn't understand what is happening. He tries to fight back and realizes that Akutagawa is not using his ability to guard himself. Akutagawa instead sucks the blood from his own hand to heal his wound. He doesn't try to cover himself because he can regenerate like that, and it means unless Atsushi kills him, there will be no way to stop him. Atsushi tries to tell him to stop, hoping his consciousness is still there, and that he still wants to ask Akutagawa why he saved his life that time.
In Mersault, Dazai is seen dragging himself and leaning against the wall, covered in blood with his legs broken. He looks up to the surveillance camera and tells Fyodor to put an end to his pain cuz it hurts so bad. Fyodor gladly accepts and sends Chuuya to finish him. Suddenly Sigma enters the room and shoots Fyodor in the shoulder, telling him to stop attacking Dazai. Sigma says he is there cuz he has promised Dazai to touch Fyodor to read his scheme in the airport. Fyodor asks why Sigma has to keep the promise with Dazai, which surprises Sigma himself. Fyodor then proceeds to say that Dazai has manipulated Sigma the whole time, and that normally Sigma is not that kind of a reckless person. He explains that at first, Sigma only wanted a "home" so he would not get used by anyone. But after watching Dazai, Sigma has come to realize that a lonely "home" is not enough. He has started to want not a place, but trust, a relationship where people rely on others without borrowing or trading anything. In other words, he has started to want to become a member of the ADA. Yet, Fyodor adds, it is not Sigma's own thought, but the trick Dazai uses to tamper with his heart.
Sigma thinks back of what Dazai has told him, and still decides to point the gun at Fyodor. Because even if it is a trick, Dazai has paid a big price for it, and accepting a customer's bet is the casino's way. He says he knows Fyodor is trying to manipulate him too, to cause distrust towards Dazai and makes him drop the gun. Sigma then adds that Dazai has won this manipulating competition.
According to the fact that Fyodor has to try to talk him into lower the gun, Sigma concludes that he has no other backup. He tells Fyodor he is going to touch him and read his information, but before that he wants Fyodor to tell him what his ability is, cuz its dangerous to touch someone whose ability might be activated by contact. In the last frame, Sigma changes the question from "What is your ability" to "What the hell are you?"
The chapter ends here. Next chapter will be out on June 2, 2023 (Japan time). Thank you for reading till the end!
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Happy Anniversary?
Marlene's the first one to bring it up.
Remus is just sitting, trying to do his transfiguration homework in the common room when she pipes up.
"Hey, Remus, isn't your anniversary soon?" That's enough to draw his attention, head snapping up with a confused frown. "Any plans?"
"...anniversary?" He asks. Marlene looks at him like he's just spoken another language, or that he's magically turned into a brick wall.
"Yeah. Are you doing anything for it?"
"I have no clue what you're on about," he says simply, expecting that to be the end of that. However, a knowing smile finds its way onto Marlene's face, and she nods.
"Ah, right. I get it," she says with a wink, only befuddling Remus more.
Still, he doesn't think anyone else is going to bring it up.
As it turns out, everyone seems to think he has some big anniversary coming up. Lily congratulates him, Mary says she "always knew it was going to last forever", even Edgar Bones nudges him and whispers a quick "well done".
Somehow, and Remus has no clue how, he did something noteworthy a year ago. He's also completely unaware as to what. Nobody answers him when he asks, so he simply starts offering a polite smile and moving on with his day. There's some strange misunderstanding happening, and it'll probably blow over soon.
Probably.
It takes reaching the 'anniversary' date to figure out what the fuck is going on.
He's finally gotten some time with Sirius after he's been stuck in back-to-back detentions, walking down to the Black Lake together and just... chatting. It's really nice being able to spend time with Sirius outside of his classes again, even if it sends his stomach spinning and diving. As they talk, they pass Dorcas, who turns and calls to the two of them.
"Happy anniversary, guys!"
She's gone before they can ask any questions, leaving Remus with the same confused feeling as before. He opens his mouth to explain the situation to Sirius, only for Sirius to beat him to it.
"That's been happening all week," he says, puzzled, which stops Remus in his tracks.
"It has?"
He isn't walking anymore, and Sirius stops with him, elaborating with a frown.
"Yeah. Everyone's been going on and on about some anniversary. I don't know what-"
"They've been doing it to me too," Remus interjects quickly, almost under his breath. Sirius catches it though, eyes widening as he reaches the same conclusion as Remus has at the same bloody time.
It's them.
It's all about them.
All of the knowing glances, the congratulations, even the weird fucking winks. They all think Remus and Sirius are dating. Not only that, but they've thought that for a year? The thought sends too many emotions running through him. Shock, confusion and, oddly enough, bitterness. He's fallen asleep every night for months with Sirius on his mind. The thought of kissing him, being with him, belonging to him. He's spent too long biting back his confessions, the very obvious and frustrating fact that he's in love with Sirius Black, because he doesn't want to destroy their friendship, and his friends have just swooped in and made things so much more difficult!
"It's our fucking anniversary, isn't it?" Sirius says quietly, before glancing behind him. "Hold on," he says to Remus, turning right back around and going in the same direction Dorcas has just gone. He seems to involuntarily grab Remus' hand, Remus having no choice but to follow him helplessly.
They get to the Great Hall in time for lunch. Remus is a little pissed that everyone's weird obsession with their imaginary anniversary is interrupting the picnic they had planned.
"Guys." The two of them stop on front of the group, Sirius doing the talking, thank fuck. To be perfectly honest, Remus feels pretty speechless. "D'you lot think Remus and I are dating?"
"Yeah?" James says simply, wrinkling his nose like it's just a fact of life. "Everyone knows you're together."
"...we're not," Sirius says slowly, carefully, sending the group lapsing into silence, exchanging confused glances.
"Okay, that's doesn't make any sense," Lily says, everybody else nodding in agreement. "You're literally together all the time."
"Because we're friends," Sirius explains, and Remus really isn't sure what to say. Good thing he doesn't have to, because the back and forth doesn't stop.
"If Remus is in the hospital wing, you're there until Madame Pomfrey kicks you out," James offers.
"I care about him!" Sirius argues, but something about what James has said has hit him in a strange way, Remus hears the shift in his tone, feels the slight tightening of his grip on Remus' hand.
"You're holding hands right now," Mary says pointedly, and Sirius looks down at their connected hands like he had forgotten it had happened. Still, he has a reason for that one too.
"I hold everyone's hand."
He really doesn't want people to think he's dating Remus, does he?
"Not that much," Peter mumbles under his breath, and Remus almost wants to laugh.
"Sorry, does nobody find it strange that we've never kissed, then?" James shrugs.
"Not really. Figured you didn't like PDA."
"Okay, then... we've never called each other boyfriends, never been on a date-"
"Right, that one's just not true," Marlene says with a snort. Remus frowns, confused. Have they been on a date? Surely he'd know, right? "You go to Hogsmeade together all the time, you run off to 'study' every chance you get, and you're picnicking today."
"We're friends? Friends spend time together," Sirius says quickly, and Remus is really starting to struggle. He doesn't want to stand there while Sirius explains how ridiculous the concept of them dating is.
Instead of putting a stop to the conversation, Remus takes the coward's way out. He pulls his hand free from Sirius', turns, and walks away.
"Moony, wait-"
Remus pointedly ignores Sirius' call to him, aiming to get to the dorm and just wallow in self-pity for fifteen minutes. That way, he can act like he's fine and just go to the bloody picnic.
His hip, however, has other plans.
It twinges right as he reaches the stairs, forcing him to a halt with a sharp inhale. His hand involuntarily goes to the bannister at the bottom of the stairs, trying to get some of the weight off it. Unfortunately for him, it means Sirius catches up too quickly. To be honest, he hadn't even realised that Sirius was following him, but he arrives at his side in a matter of seconds.
"Moony, are you alright?" Remus lets his eyes sink shut for half a second, frustrated. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise they were upsetting you that much."
"It's not- it's just- it's nothing, I'm fine," Remus settles on, offering Sirius a tired smile.
"Moons, s'fine. I know how stupid you think it is." Sirius takes another step forward, acting as though he hasn't just confused the fuck out of Remus.
"What d'you mean? That's not why..." he trails off, not sure how to verbalise any of his thoughts without telling Sirius everything. Sirius fills it in for him, though.
"It's okay, really. You don't have to spare my feelings, or anything. I know you don't feel the same way," Sirius says with a shrug, sending Remus' mind reeling in a matter of seconds.
The same way.
The same fucking way?
Just like that, Remus is malfunctioning. Firstly, when the Hell did Sirius start liking him back? He's spent months having to reel in his own emotions, spending time with Sirius and accepting the sad reality that he's never going to be with him in a romantic way. Finally, just finally, he's started to come to terms with his own unrequited emotions, accept and embrace his friendship with Sirius, and they're not even bloody unrequited?
Also, when did they talk about it? How has Sirius come to the conclusion that Remus doesn't like him? Christ, Remus is fucking in love with him!
That's enough to spur Remus to talk.
"What?"
Okay, maybe he can't form full sentences right now, but he'll get there. Hopefully. Sirius just scrunches his nose up, confused.
"Moony, I get it, it's honestly okay. You don't like me, and didn't want to hear them all jumping to conclusions," He explains, and it only throws Remus more.
"No, that's not it," Remus says quickly, stunned that any words are coming out, even if they're pretty unhelpful words.
All he can do is look at Sirius. Beautiful, amazing, kind Sirius, who crushed his own feelings because he thought they were upsetting Remus. Merlin, he can't take it anymore. Clearly words aren't working for him right now, he has to try something else. Something that will express every single emotion that he has bottled up since he first went tripping and falling head over heels for his best friend.
His solution? Kiss the prat before he has a chance to second guess himself.
With that, he reaches out, grabs Sirius' jacket with one hand, pulls him in, and kisses him. At first, Sirius freezes, stunned, and Remus has an awful panic that he's gotten everything all wrong. Luckily for him, Sirius finally registers that Remus is kissing him and kisses him back.
It's...
Christ, it's everything Remus has ever imagined and more. It's like time stops as Remus' stomach swirls. Sirius' lips are soft against his, and his kiss is explorative, fucking mind blowing. He wraps his arms around Sirius' waist, feeling Sirius lean into the touch as he reaches out and cups Remus' cheek.
After what could be an hour, a few minutes, even a few seconds, just definitely not enough time, they both break away. Unfortunately, breathing exists, and Remus kind of needs to remember how to do that. Almost in unison, their foreheads press together, and Remus can feel a smile making its way onto his face.
"Well," Sirius starts, amused, "I guess this is our anniversary, then."
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outerrimhours · 2 years
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Kinktober Day 31
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Kinktober Day 31 : Phone sex with Ghostface
Title: Before the Devil
Pairing - Ghostface X Female!Reader
Prompt - Phone Sex
Word Count - 3,798
Warnings - NSFW 18+ (18+ minors DNI), everyone in this fic is 18+,  murder, stalking, blood play, phone sex, dirty talk, dub con, threats, toxic interaction, pure digusting halloween filth. 
AN/ Posting this a day early, because I haven't posted in weeks. This was my big finale. Transcribed from a wonderful NSFW audio on Pornhub btw, by HarpyVT. All of the unfinished Kinktober days will be posted in November. Thank you all for celebrating this holiday with me.
Song - Psycho Killer by Talking Heads
You flipped through the static channels of the radio, voices hastily peaking through until you heard the newscasters voice. 
“The police have yet to apprehend the armed suspect, and advise that you take extra caution when locking up at night. The victims suffered multiple stab wounds and lacerations, but the survivors all said the same thing; they received a call from an unknown number moments prior to their attack. Local authorities have increased the amount of service operators available to respond to emergency calls and ask that you report any suspicious phone activity.” 
You flipped to another channel, soft music swimming through your cerebral cortex like a wakeful dream. The home had a warm feeling, inviting, and you couldn’t help but enjoy the way your heels clicked against the wood as you walked to the bathroom. You wanted to freshen up before he arrived. 
Undressing felt nice, dress hitting the floor quickly, before allowing the faucet to run.  The warmth of the water enticing all of your senses. You allowed your eyes to close briefly before your cell phone rang against the countertop. It was vexatious, the sound, but whoever was on the other line could wait. Probably just the pizza boy. 
And then it rang again.
Frustrated at the disturbance, you pulled yourself from the warmth to step out of the shower, pressing the phone to your ear.
“Hello?”, the voice asked, but you promptly hung up, not recognizing the intonation. 
As you wrapped the cotton towel around your soaking barness, you innocently assumed that would be the last interaction. Wrong number, obviously.
And then it rang once more. 
“Can I help you?”, you nervously demanded. 
“That was pretty rude”, the gravelly voice replied, “Look, I know you’re probably panicking, don’t worry…”
You were undoubtedly apprehensive, squeezing the towel tighter to your chest. 
“As long as you listen to me, you’ll get out of this alive”. 
You knew in that moment what you were truly facing, the masked voice, the devil on the newscast. Your legs felt unstable, heart bashing against the confines of its cage in panic. 
“Let’s play a little game”, he said in response to your silence, “This game only has three rules. That’s simple enough right? 
You could almost hear the smirk in his voice, the way he licked his lips in anticipation. It was as if he were standing right behind you. 
“Rule number one, you don’t hang up. Rule number two, you answer any of my questions honestly, and rule number three..you follow my instructions.” 
When the voice on the other end didn’t receive a response, he added, 
“Do you understand?”
Your throat felt dry, forcing down the lump in your throat to whisper a frightened “Yes”. 
“Good”, he said, “Now, is there anyone other than the poor pizza boy coming over tonight?”
“No”, you lied, briefly sitting the phone against the marble to quickly dress. 
“No? Good.”
Your hands were shaking, tears daring to spill down your cheeks as you opened the door. Bare feet pattering until you reached the entryway. The door was ajar, allowing the chill of the night to creep in and wrap itself around your bones. 
You dared to peek through the crack, bile curtailing and rising to meet your esophagus. The innocent life depleted on the concrete, slumped against the stairs in a pool of coagulating blood. 
You gasped, choking down a sob. 
“Hey”, the voice soothed, “I can tell you’re scared. There’s nothing to be afraid of…” he paused, the tone almost reassuring, “As long as you follow the rules. Now I want you to reach into his pocket and take out his phone”. 
“Why did you kill him”, you wailed, unable to tear your eyes away from the blue staring back. 
“Why’d I kill him? Well..you see..he saw me out of the corner of his eye when he rang the doorbell. Do you understand now? He was so focused on saving himself, he wasn’t going to tell you a stranger was stalking nearby. He was heartless. So, I borrowed your pizza cutter, and fixed that little problem.” 
The stranger scoffed on the other end, almost in disbelief you would question him. 
“You should be thanking me. I’m not planning to do that sort of thing to you..after all.., I’m not an animal. I washed the pizza cutter already. It’s by the sink. Now open up his phone.”
The crystal glass was splattered with the remnants of the boy, staining your skin when you reached for it. 
“It’s locked”, you said, looking away before the lunch you had earlier in the day made its way up your throat. 
“Use his finger silly”, the voice laughed playfully, oblivious almost to the true nature of this reality before turning darker once more. 
“Dial the number he last called and tell them everything is fine. He just drank too much on the job and saw things. Tell them you're his friend! And DON’T even think about asking for help…I am always right behind you after all.” 
You hesitated. Could you call the police? You considered. 
“I’m waiting”, the voice muttered impatiently. 
So you dialed. 
“Good girl.”
Your voice shook at the lies you were telling. An innocent life beneath your feet. 
“See”, he chirped, “That wasn’t so hard was it? You’re off to a great start! Now.., go back to the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of wine.”
“Okay..”, you swallowed.
“I..don’t like how nervous you sound. I wanted to have a little fun, that's all. You’re making me look like the bad guy here. I never planned to do anything bad to you. I promise. You’re just oh so pretty...”, the voice mused. 
The silence was deafening, even as he spoke, the sound of your footsteps against the hardwood. To the left of the sink was the wine cabinet, so many choices, grabbing for one with shaky hands. 
“Soo”, he continued, voice gruff and grainy through the phone, “grab a glass and just relax.”
If you were to die, at least you would be tipsy off the good stuff, pouring an eerily color of burgundy into the glass. 
“Good girl”, the voice beamed, “Now, say your name.”
The wine was bitter, tartness soaking into the buds of your tongue, and you almost choked on its fruitfulness at the question. 
“Why?” 
“Why? Because, I want to hear you say it, that’s all”, he mused innocently, just to add
“And.., because I want to know who I’m looking at.” 
“How”, you stuttered, apprehensively looking in every direction. 
“You were very meticulous in setting up those security cameras, you even set one on the fridge. What were you hoping to catch? Someone raiding the fridge”, he laughed, “So tell me..”, he whispered, voice growing darker,  “what’s your name?”
So you did, the word feeling so personal all of a sudden, as if the stranger was taking the most important thing about you. 
“I like it. It suits you.”
“Alright, what’s yours”, you asked, the wine in your bloodstream making you bolder. 
“Ghostface”, the stranger joked, “do you like my name too”, his boyish laugh tickling your ears. It was almost unsettling how innocent he sounded. It wasn’t what you expected a homicidal maniac to sound like. 
“How sweet”, he whispered, the t clicking off his tongue in the most seductive way. The way he allowed his tone to change so quickly was so..ominous. 
“Now”, he growled, “about that security camera, I have a better..idea of where to put it. Take it off the wall, and..bring it to the bedroom. We’re gonna continue our little game there.”
You gripped the countertop, knuckles whitening at the force, before chugging back the wine. You were apprehensive, angry. 
“Hello”, he yelled, enraged, “I’m watching you! You’re being so difficult about this. I’m your guest aren’t I? So, where’s your sense of hospitality?”
You regretted his anger, fearful of the consequences.
“Are you in there”, you whispered, eyes closing, fearful of the answer. 
“No,” he teased, “I’m not in the bedroom. I’m close, I’m..close, that’s all you have to know. I’m close enough to end the game, if you don’t play”, he whispered, almost aroused at the idea of your disobedience. Your death. 
So you listened, gliding up the stairs to the door on the right. 
It was dark, say for the street lights peering through. You half expected for your attacker to lunge.
“Now, set it up”.
You placed the camera on the dresser, perfectly angled toward the bed. 
“What do you want with me?”
An annoyed laugh scoffed on the other end, “I told you already, it’s just a little game.”
“Now, sit on the bed, and take your clothes off….Slowly,” he whispered,  “face the camera while you do it, I want to see everything.”
The wine had gone to your head, being drunk was a fool’s anesthetic, putting the primitive self in command, when it is the worst captain of all. Were you really wet at the idea of him watching as your straps slipped over the smooth skin of your shoulders, the way the fabric slipped down your body and to the floor, exposing the lingerie underneath? Meshed greens and speckled golds adorning the fabric. 
There it was again, the boyish laughter so perfectly encapsulated in the phone, goosebumps forming along your flesh at the sound. 
You could almost see his smile, “I like what you’re wearing underneath”, he teased, “It’s rather extravagant isn’t it? Are you sure you didn’t make plans with somebody tonight? Or…do you just like wearing that sort of thing underneath?”
He giggled. 
“I knew I picked somebody fun”, he replied, when your answer was no. “I’m so glad you decided to play. Now take it off. OFF,” he demanded. 
“There’s no one here but you and me right? Now look at us, so well acquainted already right? Don’t worry, I’m taking everything off too. Maybe if you're good, I'll even show you. I bet you're wondering what the man behind the voice looks like.” 
You unclasped the bra, allowing the fabric  holding the swell of your breasts to fall, nipples already hardening at the exposed chill. You swore you could hear him gasp, so quiet, almost unnoticeable, and when you pulled the band of your panties down over your hips, he sounded almost breathless,
“Good girl.” 
“You’re very good at this game”, he whispered, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you were aroused out of fear..or the way he praised you when you listened. 
“It’s almost like you’ve..played it before. You know what I want now.., don’t you? 
When he whispered, it was as if he were there right behind you, every letter perfectly pronounced on his tongue. 
“Look straight into the camera, and spread your legs”, he was so breathy, as if he had to restrain himself as he watched you, every t sitting perfectly on his tongue. 
You were sticky and oozing when your fingers met the entrance of your cunt, he stopped you.
“Ah ah, don’t touch yourself there quite yet, aren’t you an eager one. I want you to show off your body, take your hands..”, he breathed, “slid them down over your neck, to your hips, show me that beautiful figure…, I know you can do it, with what you were wearing underneath, I know you’re a little..freak? I know you know how to have a good time. Allllll by yourself. So show me..” 
Your eyes fluttered at the feeling of your hands, so lightly, almost like a feather ghosting over the curves and dips of your body, you hated to admit you loved the way his voice sounded, the way it changed as he watched you. His exasperated sighs, the sensual articulation, the boyish desire. 
“I want to watch everything, I want to watch you”, he sounded so whiney in the most magnetic way. Sometimes you almost forgot he had blood on his hands, until his voice grew darker and reminded you what he was capable of. He could so easily switch to the darkness. 
“That’s right, put on a show for me. Like your life depends on it. I wanna see you shiver while you do it. Because you’re afraid, or because you’re aroused. I don’t care. Both do it for me. And you’re gonna cum for me, whether you like it, or not.”
You swallowed harshly, unable to look in the camera as you touched yourself. The threat almost sobering you.  
“Spread your legs a little bit more”, and so you did, allowing the camera a perfect angle of your soaked cunt. “Just like that, I’m getting so hard for you. You’re doing so well, you’re playing so well. Now..underneath the bed, I have a little present for you.” 
You adjusted hesitantly, reaching underneath to find the object of his reference. 
“Wait..”, you whispered, holding the container in your hand with aversion. 
“Yeah, it’s what you think it is. It’s blood.” His voice was shaky with arousal, “Take it in your hands and touch yourself again.” 
The metallic smell was sobering, sickening. You hesitated. 
“Why are you hesitating?”He scolded.
“Who’s is it”, you questioned. 
“Who’s? Does it matter? Will you stop playing the game if I tell you? Will you end the game if I tell you?” The frustrated tone in his voice lowering back to a whisper, the wet squelch of his cock between his hand filling your ear. It almost made you forget the way he lashed out. 
He breathed out, voice shaky, at the site of you obeying. The cold, sap like liquid trailing over every crevice of your body, painted by your fingertips. 
“Good girl,” he praised, holding back soft gasps.
“Touch..every single inch of yourself for me. Pay attention to every part of your body, all the grooves that no one else pays attention to. I want to see it, I want to pay attention to it, all the little secrets that you keep.”
The stranger was so aroused, his throaty, mellifluous gasps allowing your own arousal to seep through. You loved hearing his little gasps. 
“Show me what makes you grip the sheets, show me what makes you throw your head back in pleasure”, soft moans peaking through with every sentence, “ And I will watch..every..single..moment of it. Every streak you paint on yourself is like a confession, because you may act afraid…you may act…like you don’t like this…but what you really really don’t want is to admit it. You don’t want to admit that you’re giving in. You don't want to admit that you’re enjoying yourself. You don’t want to admit that you wanted this.  You want to keep all these secrets, hidden from yourself, but look, look at you painting your whole body red. Look how good you look in red, all these streaks adorning you like a goddess. Touch yourself like nobody ever has. I want you to squeeze your breasts, touch your nipples the way you want to, not the way anyone else wants you to. The way you wanted. The way only you know it.”
And so you did. Cupping and squeezing the flesh, allowing the sharp squeeze of your nipples to make your back arch. 
“Slide your hands down your thighs the way you want to. And drag your fingers down your waist to touch your inner thighs, tighten your legs as you brush over that sensitive spot, dig your nails into your skin, and mark yourself up. Arch your back as you make your way back to your neck..and wrap your fingers around it and choke yourself, like I wish I could. Push so hard that the blood stains your skin.”
You gasped softly at the feeling allowing you to cut your airflow shortly. 
“Do it so hard it hurts”, the voice softly cried. 
“Remember, I said I wanted you to cover every single inch. And don't forget anything and don't worry I’m not judging you. I'd never judge you. Whether you choose to have a taste, rub it on your lips. I’m not judging you. In fact, I'm right there with you. I'm enjoying everything with you. Beautiful. You are absolutely stunning, darling. God, I can't hold back any longer. Now rub your little clit, and make sure you keep your face in the camera. Lose yourself, make those beautiful, agonizing moans, for me.”
The praise, the way the boy made you feel so important. How fucked up could you truly be? By the time your fingers reached the perfect little bundle of nerves, you were so sensitive, biting your lip and savoring the metallic liquid stained over the skin. Your back arched at the feeling, cunt glistening even in the moonlight. 
“Oh!” He moaned softly, “Just like that.” His little hushed moans and gasps as the spit surely coating his cock, squelched, causing your own soft sighs to escape. You loved how innocent he sounded in his own pleasure. 
His imperceptible cries and whines at the pump of his cock, losing himself in the way you touched yourself to his voice. 
“You are such a good girl, aren't you? Agh..”, he cried, “You look so pretty in red. Oh.., agh”, You too wanted to cry out in pleasure at the sounds he made. So innocent, boyish little whimpers. 
“Fuck”, the voice on the phone cracking, grunts and cries of pleasure filling every sense as you played with yourself. Eyes closed, picturing the way he would look next to you. 
“Mmm, fuck, agh.” He roughly swallowed, losing his breath as his hand sped up, and you whimpered at the sound. 
“Put your whole pussy on display for me. Get fucking closer, get closer to the camera and show off. Come on, show me, show me, show me. Oh!”, He begged. 
You loved it. You had never been so wet for anyone, and all you had was his voice. Every cry, whimper, moan, and gasp that left his pretty lips sending you closer to the edge. The dominance he exuded extinguishing with every little sound he made. You felt so proud. You wanted to know how he would look underneath you, eyes big and wide, looking up at you like you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. 
Fuck. 
Your fingers entered, cunt clenching at the fullness, although you knew it wasn’t enough. Surely you would feel even more full with him inside of you. 
You loved the way his voice cracked, higher pitched with every curse he cried. He sounded so pretty. 
“My little devil, aren't you?” He whispered, “ You little devil. Oh f-..keep looking at the camera. Keep looking. Mphm, I can’t get off unless I’m looking at your pretty face. Did you know that? It’s all part of the game. I have to look at you. I have to watch you. I have to see you.”
You grew impossibly wetter with every confession. Finger curving with every pump. 
“Look at yourself in the mirror too. Oh, watch yourself. Watch yourself fucking touching yourself for me.”
His pumps slowed with every groan, “Do you hear that? Do you hear how hard I am for you?”
You moaned, gasping for breath as you watched the way your fingers disappeared inside of your pussy. The pornographic sound of his cock thrusting in his hand. 
“Agh, how much my fucking cock is leaking for you. Only a pretty, dirty, naughty girl can do this for me. Only someone like you can get me this hard. Oh, and look how wet you are.” 
With every word his voice grew quieter, desperate.
 “Come on”, he whispered, “take all of that and rub it on your thighs. Taste it, taste yourself.” 
You loved the way your arousal tasted on your tongue, so salty and pure. 
“I did this all for you. I did all of this for you. Aren’t you grateful I picked you? 
“Yes,” you cried, circling your clit faster at the moans leaving his lips. He sounded so close. Coming so undone. 
“Of fuck. I’m so fucking wet”, he cried, gasping for breaths. His heavenly whimpers, voice cracking with every moan. 
“Keep moaning for me. I want to hear you, I want to hear you, I want to hear you so badly, I want to hear your screams, your moans, your whimpers, your cries, every single sound your body makes”, he begged. 
The thrusts of his cock grew sloppier as his boyish little cries rang out. 
“Look at you, so pretty, so fucking pretty, so fucking pretty. Can you hear that? This precum in my hands. Don't I sound so aroused? All for you. Only for you!” 
Every cry and whimper and moan, it was truly all for you, and you did feel so grateful. 
You were both so close.
His gravelly voice as he thrusted in and out of his hand, it made you cry in pleasure. 
“Spread your fucking pussy lips for”, He slurred. You obeyed, allowing a growel to slip through his lips. 
“Let me see inside. Fuck, rub your little clit, rub it with your bloody, guilty little fingers. Confess to me, confess to me what a bad girl you are. Oh!”
“There you are”, you praised at his sloppy, forceful thrusts. His wildly high pitched moans. You bet he looked so pretty, lips parted, eyes so big and wide. 
He was gonna cum, you could tell by the frequency of his moans and perfect grunts. His whimper higher pitched than ever. You moaned wildly at the little boyish sounds he made. So perfect in every way, only for your ears. 
“Im gonna cum” he cried, “Cum with me.” His voice grew more forceful, the innocent whimpers turning into the man you knew earlier, the aggression as he spoke, no longer a beg, more so a demand. “Cum with me!”
Only for the moans to continue, you allowed your release to wash over you at the sounds he made. Cum pooling and dripping from your cunt as your heart raced wildly. It was so blindingly perfect, you almost forgot where you were, the situation you were in. Until that same, maniacal laughter rang through. Oh how easily he could switch.
“That..that was a  very good game darling. Good job. Good job. Thank you for playing with me”, he laughed, catching his own breath. 
“And a word of advice”, he sighed, you could almost hear the resentment as he rolled his eyes, “You didn’t forget did you? That you broke one of the rules. You lied. You said that nobody else was coming by tonight. You forgot to tell me. You forgot to tell me not to kill him. Now, time to run little rabbit. Afterall, this isn't your house is it? Do you remember now?”
The last thing you heard before the dial tone from him hanging up. 
Taglist: @samspenandsword @acatalystrising @sharpbarnacle @kraytclaw @adikas-world @the-good-shittt
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