#jae fiction

[gdangitjae]

Inked (🔞) {1/3}

❝I don't want nobody but you kissing on my tattoos.❞ August Alsina

Theme: So… the Kia x Jae saga continues. This time, they're work vacationing in a hotel for a gig Jae has coming up as eJay eaJ. All Kia needed to do was take a shower, as well as relieve some stress. All Jae wanted to do was chill on the king bed. However, the free time they finally had to themselves seemed to have needed to been spent in other ways…

Also, in this particular situation, Jae has a new tattoo! 🤩

Disclaimer: I thought this up with a Black female (someone that looks and acts a lot like yours truly) in mind. So there will be heavy AAVE (African American Vernacular English) usage.

Kinks / Warnings: masturbation, profanity & dirty talk (some derogatory language will be used), a bit of switch behavior, oral sex (cunnilingus and fellatio), fingering, nipple play, mild-ish choking, some orgasm denial

Additional author notes: This is my first time {in a long time} doing this in first person POV instead of the second person POV I'd been using previously. Due to… recent events, I've been conjuring up quite the scenario for this one… Thank you, and you're welcome.

Once again: If you finish reading my lil fanfic or whatever, I would LOVE for you to click/tap the 'reply' icon at the bottom and let me know what your favorite parts were! Not to mention, if you have any critiques (constructive and productive, of course) or questions, feel more than free!

Enjoy!

💉🪡🖋️✒️🖤⚫⬛

Riding in the back of the Uber from the airport to the hotel, I legit could not stop staring at Jae's vine-like neck tattoo. It was annoying to say the least, considering he's had that (along with his numerous other tats) for months now. I suppose it was the fact that he told me this morning before boarding the damn plane that I have to somehow search for his latest inscribed addition.

–

"Where… is it, Jae?" I begrudgingly ask him as we stand in line, blankly staring ahead at the boarding entrance, arms crossed, knowing full well he wasn't gonna answer as bluntly.

"You have to find it… later," he confidentially teases, the latter of that statement quietly chirped in my ear. I roll my eyes with a sly smirk, sensing that it likely meant this was permanently stamped somewhere the sun didn't shine.

So it wasn't until we reach the hotel that I was finally able to stop staring at him like a stalker of sorts. As a matter of fact, I manage to avoid eye contact with him as he held my hand, retrieving the hotel room keys with his free hand.

🌸🎀🏩 🐙 🎟 👛 👚 👅 💓

When we reach the room, I see the king-sized bed with a card on top (likely from the promoter that booked Jae for this engagement). He heads that direction as I pull my suitcase over to the couch.

"I'm gonna take a shower," I tell Jae as I unzip my bag and grab a change of clothes, as well as my shower wrap to protect my hair.

"I'm gonna chill here," Jae replies as he plops down on the bed. "I'm lagged."

"Same," I agree with him, walking by him toward the bathroom. "See you in a bit."

"Okay, don't take too long," I hear Jae request behind me. I can feel him smile as he continues. "I've been missing you."

🛁🧼🧴🧽✨🛀

His subtle confession followed me into the bathroom before the home improvement enthusiast in me jumped out. "Oh shit!

"This my type of shower right here!" I excitably exclaim as I hear Jae laugh from the bed. I notice the built-in seat almost immediately, while I sneak a peak at the other quality features before I discard my clothes.

I leave the bathroom door open for the most part, while closing the shower door almost completely because I never know where water lands when I turn showers on. Sure enough, it immediately lands on the door before I attempt to adjust the shower head, accidentally disengaging the head from its compartment.

Oh!.. Noted, I think to myself as I place it right back. My showers be therapeutic, and I planned on this one not being any different. Especially in light of what Jae's been hinting at today. In addition to the whole tattoo ordeal and him saying he's been missing me, there has been tension building the past few weeks.

Unfortunately, Jae's been too busy preparing for this gig with his team to spend a lot of quality time with me. I understand that completely, but my body does not. It rarely does; I just keep it composed for moral purposes. So, to compensate (because patience is not really my thing), I've been spending some quality alone time with myself, by myself. Though, of course, it's not the same.

As I put my shower cap on over my hair and step into the shower, I definitely wanna respect Jae's privacy and desire to relax in the other room. So I go about my business as usual, which goes well until I begin to really take notice of the water pressure coming from this shower head. Without even thinking about it, I let out a almost inaudible moan as I lean back against the wall. "Fuck, that feels good," I mutter to myself as I resume lathering my body with soap.

Giving extra time to my breasts, I let out a low moan again as I go for my crotch next. As soon as the wet, soapy towel touches my lower lips, I gradually begin to lose my mind. That coupled with the water from the shower head inspired me to try something.

I set the towel down and disengage the shower head once again, this time very much on purpose. I aim it extremely close to my pussy, allowing there to be a lot more pressure from the water. As it rinses the soap off, it also quickly turns me on. "Oh my fucking god," I exhale as I roll my hips upward.

After a few moments of that, I feel myself wince as I take two of my fingers and spread my lips open, mentally shunning the freak in me for even doing this. I knew it obviously wasn't the same as, say, someone else's tongue doing similar work, but it still felt alarmingly good. My moans increase in volume and pitch as those same two fingers make their way inside.

I pretty much forwent the whole quiet thing at this point, but I didn't give a fuck. Maybe someone deserved to hear this and become inspired his damn self. I can't say I'm forcing anyone to do anything, but I also can't say I wasn't giving an option for invitation.

"Oh fuck… Fuck, this feels too fucking good," I moan out, pumping my fingers at a moderate pace, still rolling my hips up to meet its friction. "God, I just wish I had… more to… fuckin' work with.

"I – oh, God – just need your fingers… your tongue… your - fuck! - your dick inside me… Please, baby…" With my head hung, and my eyes struggling to stay open, I could feel myself losing more and more of the composure I barely had to begin with. Half of my remaining brain cells were on mission, the other half unaware of anything else but this moment, yet both halves were working toward the same goals.

At this point, my conscience was speaking for me, somehow delivering a late reply to my boyfriend as I inch my fingers deeper and deeper. "Fuck… I… miss… you too, baby. I wanna be… the only b-bitch… kissing… licking… on you… and all your fucking tattoos. I need my hole filled by you—"

"Which one?" a voice echoes in the vicinity of the bathroom, but I'm already too out of it to register who… else… it might be.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

"Huh?" was all I could get out, half-confused and mostly undone.

"Which hole?" the same voice asks, with the same amount of gentle tenacity.

I begin to slowly open my eyes as I drunkenly reply, "Uhh… all of them?"

I hear laughter on the other side of the shower door as this somehow mysterious voice states, "I only have a mouth, a dick, and two hands… One of which is holding said dick. I'm gonna need you to be a little bit more specific."

"Oh s-shit!" I cautiously shout as I drop the shower head in a slightly startled state of shock, thus completely bringing me back to Earth. "Jae?"

"Nope, it's a janitor," Jae jokes before laughing. I couldn't help but laugh as well, but not before telling him to 'shut the fuck up.'

I pick up the shower head and place it back where it belonged. In the time it took to do that, I recalled what I believe I heard Jae say a minute ago. "Still holding your dick?" I casually ask him.

He answers just as nonchalantly, "Stroking it, even… Just thinking about what you were saying…"

"I swear I don't even remember half of what I fuckin' said…" I meant that. I may have been speaking from my heart or whatever, but I just know for a fact that if I had put any thought into it, half of it wouldn't have ever left my lips.

"That's interesting," Jae states. "You don't remember just saying how you want to be the only one kissing on my tattoos? Or how you want your holes filled by everything?"

"Now I know I didn't say it like that," I retort through the palm that I placed on my face. Shortly after we both chuckle at that, I hear a light thud on his end, causing me to finally open the shower door. What I end up seeing drops me on the shower seat.

Jae takes off his t-shirt and throws it with his pants and boxers I see outside the bathroom door. As he turns to make his way to me, I spy with my little eye… it. The newest addition to his tattoo collection.

"No fucking way," I spit out as I notice this elaborate shooting star opposite his vine-like tattoo, but right above his waist line. It was so nice, but I also caught a glimpse of his soft, yet alluring eyes staring down at me, to which all I could satisfactorily reply to it all was "Mmm."

I scoot over closer to the door on the seat as Jae hovers over me, his hand resuming its position around his cock. "May I come in?"

❝I want my hands tattooed on your body, baby.❞

♪ ♫ Sex Never Felt Better | TGT

I wanted badly to reply, "Not yet, but you can cum real quick," but next thing you know, Jae saunters into the shower, closing the door behind him. To my slight surprise, I almost immediately feel his thumbs circle my nipples while his lips trail kisses all around my neck.

It takes roughly zero seconds for me to moan at the water, my legs attempting to gird themselves around Jae’s torso in agreement. “Jae, fuck…” It seemed like he waited for actual words to leave my mouth before moving on up to my gaping lips.

Taking a seat next to me, he gently wraps his fingers around my neck, leisurely gliding his tongue around my lips one good time before it eases his way in between them with a smirk. I couldn’t help but smile while kissing him back because one, that was hot as fuck considering, two, he’s terribly good at maintaining some sort of composure… no matter how bad he may seem to want me.

I feel a hand sail along my wet skin, down to what probably is consistently the wettest part of me. I end up biting Jae’s bottom lip, obnoxiously moaning through my teeth when I feel just the tips of two of his fingers press against my entrance.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," I repeat breathlessly as Jae simultaneously pulls his lip back and pushes his fingers further inside me. “Shit, baby…”

“God, I miss hearing that,” Jae utters out in my ear, “you sound so good… Damn, you haven’t been this tight in a fucking minute.”

I sluggishly moan low in Jae’s ear, actually feeling how I’m readjusting back to the now full length of these same two fingers, along with a thumb circling the clit. As heavenly as it feels, I couldn’t resist attempting to shoot a tiny verbal dagger his direction… because why not? “Then keep doing something about it.”

Instantly, I feel Jae’s lips on my neck, paving their own trail down my body. After resting on the islands of my breasts a couple moments, his mouth continues to journey downward to meet my fingers. I soon begin to feel his warm breath blowing between my thighs as I feel a twisting of the fingers before they are pulled out of me.

“J-Jae…” I breathe out, my eyes opening to Jae sucking two fingers while seemingly surveying every inch of my being. I’m able to hear him hum just over the sound of the water hitting his back, both hands placed firmly around the inside of my thighs as he plunges himself head-first into my pussy. Hums were accompanied with licking beneath me, while names were replaced with panting above him.

“Fuck,” Jae exhales when I see his face again. “You always taste so fuckin’ good,” he compliments, three fingers stretching me out as his tongue rejoins in alternation.

“Oh, fuck!” I shakily moan out, threading my fingers through Jae’s slick hair, holding his head steady as I grind my pulsating pussy up to his hungry mouth. Still feeling Jae’s long fingers dig their way directly to my clit, I do my best to encourage him. “Please don’t stop… until I cum… Keep going… Go deeper, babe…”

Jae hums approvingly before following those orders in a way that makes my damn head spin, and my eyes roll back. I grip the seat as I have my legs rested on Jae’s upper back. I notice a moment of withdrawal as he disengages his tongue from my dripping pussy, only for him to spit on it before submerging his face back in between my legs.

Between the vibrations from his sporadic humming and his tongue and fingers feeling like they’re doing backflips damn near in my stomach, I cry out in stimulating pleasure… especially when his free hand makes its way up to fondle my tits.

“Mmhmm,” is all I hear Jae utter out without letting up for a second. If nothing else, his fingers pump themselves even faster, and my legs begin to shake.

This is usually the portion of the program where he stops completely, with his teasing ass. I struggle to open my eyes, glaring down at Jae, whose almost playful gaze is staring at me. After one more solid suck, he forces his head back in laughter, both hands still where they were before.

He knows that I know how he operates, so as he begins to lift himself from the tiled shower floor, he assures, “I wouldn’t do that to you this time, babe.”

“Mm,” is my snarky little reply before Jae’s tongue flicks ever-so-slightly on the nipple that isn’t already having a thumb grazed across or being pinched. “Please…”

Jae’s fingers had slowed down, yet dug themselves even deeper, as he latches his mouth around that same nipple. As he switches between each perky nub, he pumps his fingers inside me faster… and faster.

“Oh God, Jae…” I exhale, getting weaker in the knees with just about every motion, yet strengthening Jae with each moan that eases or forces itself out of my lips.

Now Jae takes it into his own hands to encourage me. “Yeah, Ki… Let me know just how much you missed this shit, baby.”

“So fucking much, babe,” I reply, still breathless, my back arching when I feel a large hand against the moisture of it. “So… damn… f-fuck, Jae!”

I couldn’t even finish reiterating my feelings due to how distracted I became, with Jae’s fingers repeatedly hitting my clit directly. Once his lips were back on my neck, it was a wrap. Without so much as a loud gasp in Jae’s ear, an inebriating orgasm transpires. I let out a moan so loud and lusty that I’m sure one could hear it from the hotel hallway.

When Jae’s fingers finally ease their way out of me, a jet stream of cum leaks out, and tears literally start to build. “Fuck, Jae…” I chuckle, as he takes one of those fingers and gestures for me to suck on it. Which I do, of course, before he pulls it out and momentarily sucks another one.

Throwing my head back, I blindly, yet tenderly feel along Jae’s creamy wet skin. While still recovering and calming my body down, I begin to slither to the floor. I start to regain some strength… because this is far from over.

❝…I love them tattoos, I still gotta learn 'em all… Tell me when you're gonna make them the writings on my wall…❞ ♪ ♫ Touch Me | Victoria Monet

Once I look up to face a now standing Jae (in more ways than one), I look up and down his body, admiring the artwork painted throughout it. Not quite fully back on Earth mentally, I finally decide to express a thought or two on the star on his stomach. "I really like this astral situation you got going on, baby," I tell him with a mellow grin.

After Jae thanks me for the compliment, I place a few pampering kisses along said 'situation,' adjusting myself so that I'm already sitting back on the seat. Meanwhile, Jae asks, "What do you like about it?"

My brief, honest answer? "How close it is to what I want," I reply as I hunch over, my lips and tongue coating the tip of his dick.

"Oh fuck," Jae breathes out, immediately satisfying my ears, as well as other places along my body. I see his hand grip the shaft before continuing to stroke.

I suck the tip while gently running my thumb along the tattoo before looking up at him. For one, I could tell it had been at least a couple weeks since he'd gotten it, due to him not flinching when I began to touch it. For another thing, I catch him rolling his neck before looking down at me looking at him.

I soften my gaze as I lap at the tip with my tongue. My hand goes from Jae's waist back to my aching pussy as the other hand trails up his more decorated arm. I moan before my fingers are quickly replaced with his again, allowing his cock to go further down my throat as his fingers plunge deeper in between my very open legs.

"I really fucking missed this," Jae exhales as I hum around his length in agreement. "I really fucking missed you."

He pulls out of my mouth, much to both of our disappointment, but then he slips his tongue inside. We both moan almost harmoniously as we intensely suck each others' tongues.

"Fuck," Jae breathes out after a moment, probably also feeling my hand wrapped around his cock.

"It really has been a minute," I let out between kisses, some on his lips, but a lot on his neck. In a maneuver Jae's used to, I lick along that vine-like tattoo like it came with an instruction manual.

"It has, and you're not missing a goddamn beat," Jae replies in between moans and faster pumping from his fingers, nearing my g-spot.

"Neither are you… Shit… Don't stop." I pant into his ear before we exchange several deep kisses, moaning at how good we're finally making each other feel after this past month. I notice how my moans become more drawn out in contrast to the rapid pace I feel Jae's fingers push in and out of me. "Fuck, Jae…"

"Yeah, Ki…" I feel Jae's breath near my ear as he continues, "You like that?"

"Of course, always," I reply with my hand recirculating the tip, "but you know I want more."

"You deserve more," Jae concurs as he pulls away from me completely, inadvertently stepping into the direct path of water from the shower head. "Oh shit. That feels good."

I half-laugh, seeing him feel a fraction of what I felt with the water pressure I mentioned before, but also… He looks hot as fuck with that water running down his body. I must've been obvious with my ogling because I see Jae smirk at me before stepping forward an inch for the water to drench his hair.

I take that as an opportunity to get back down on my knees and pick up where I was left off. Feeling like I had did just enough prep prior, I went ahead and took him to the hilt. With most of his dick halfway down my throat in record time, I want to see his reaction, but I wasn't about to be blinded by the water. It almost didn't matter, though, because I sure as hell heard it.

"Fuck, Kia!" Jae spits out as I feel a hand grip my shower cap, pushing my head further down his shaft. An almost purr-like moan soon follows from the both of us. After a few seconds, he lets go of my head, allowing me to suck him off.

I could hear Jae pant expressively above me, and I just had to see what that was like, so I pull away momentarily, and it was worth it – for me at least. I was able to catch his facial features release from the probably distorted way his eyes close like it usually is when I'm on his dick like that… and the animal in me almost got unleashed again.

I held it together as much as I could though. "You look so fucking hot, Jae," I spill while one of my hands wrap around his cock, and the other caresses the star tattoo (finally, a tattoo I can fucking reach from this position!).

"So do you, baby," Jae replies, a bit sluggishly, reminding me of just how much more 'laggy' I'm making him… Although, I know neither one of us care enough to stop. We always finish what we start… even if we take our time to get there.

After Jae asks me to retrieve a dry towel for his face, I'm back on the blessed shower seat, repositioning myself to take his cock back into my mouth. Jae assists by placing a foot on the seat, but I should've remembered that there's always gonna be something in most leg ups for him as well.

As he guides his dick back into my mouth, he wraps a hand around my neck. He knows how much I'm annoyingly turned on by such an action, and he knows how to switch it up when necessary. Needless to say, he had enough of a grip for me to choke on his length (something he's annoyingly turned on by).

Moaning at the shower tile, Jae begins to fuck my mouth slowly. I begin to moan in place of words I wouldn't have been able to find whether his dick was down my throat or not. Jae, on the other hand… "You're taking it so good, babe.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum so hard in that pretty mouth of yours…” Jae chokes out. “And you're gonna take all that like a good girl, right?"

"Mmhmm," was all I could obviously reply with, and while I could be bratty as fuck, I decided to forgo it… for now. I missed this Jae too damn much.

While never letting go of my neck, he pulls out of my mouth, inadvertently giving me enough time to croak, "I want your cum down my throat, baby," before shoving himself back inside.

Finding myself choking more often than usual, I feel a tiny trail of drool (and probably a hint of precum) run down my chin. Fucking my throat at a faster pace, Jae hunches over ever-so-slightly, but it's more than enough for me to finally reach his chest. I'm not trying to cut off my blood flow, so I close my eyes and feel my way around.

I purposely run my palms along his nipples, pinching them until they're as hard as his dick has been. I stick my tongue out underneath to fucking breathe, but I know how much that subtle change fucks him up. It sounds to me like this combo is doing its job because Jae is reduced to panting again, especially when I shift my tongue from left to right.

"Keep doing that, Ki," I hear Jae exhale as he proceeds to fuck my mouth. Shortly after, Jae's fingers press against my neck before letting go of it completely. I’m able to go a step further with it and open my mouth and throat some more, dragging my tongue underneath from the sack to the tip, over and over… and over, until– "I'm gonna fucking cum!"

The brat in me instantly jumps out again as my mouth lets go, and my hands remain on his chest, moving to his arms. Looking up at a ravished Jae, I go, "Oh really?" with a smirk.

"Don't fucking play," Jae growls.

"I'm not!" I playfully retaliate, "I'm just asking a simple ass question."

I see Jae roll his eyes before my mouth resumes guiding him to his finish. "There you go," Jae blows out, "Good girl…"

"Mm," I respond, still acting bratty with my fingers pinching his nipples again. Since I have a lot more control than before, I retreat and advance on his cock repeatedly until I hear a shaky, high-pitched moan signaling my place to stop.

Resting my tongue underneath his tip, I fondle Jae's balls while he wraps his fingers back around his warm shaft. "Oh yeah, baby… F-fuck… Fuck!"

With just a bit a tip sucking, Jae's streams of cum find their way down my throat, resting in the back of it. Once he sits back down on the seat next to me, I kiss him deeply, the both of us moaning when he receives a fraction of his own cum in his mouth.

"I fuckin' love it when you do that," Jae states after swallowing his portion.

"I know," I breathe out in a bit of a cocky manner before giving him a couple more kisses on his lips. I finally take a moment to kiss around his chest, sucking on his nipples while staring into his glazed eyes smiling down at me.

I instinctively begin to climb onto Jae’s lap, with his hands firmly on my waistline helping me – wait – guiding me right back where I was seated. Only for a moment, though, because then he lifts me off the seat, carrying me to the other end of the shower.

< Stay tuned for Part 2! >

#jae smut #eaj #eajpark #eaj smut #day6 jae smut #jae fiction #jae fanfiction #park jaehyung smut #jae scenarios #park jaehyung #jaehyung smut #jaehyung #제항

[browsethestacks]

Space Ghost #01 (2023)

Art by Francesco Mattina, Jae Lee, Bjorn Barends And Michael Cho

#Comics #Dynamite Comics #Space Ghost #Hanna-Barbera #Francesco Mattina #Science Fiction #Jae Lee #Bjorn Barends #Michael Cho #Animation #Cartoons #Saturday Morning TV #Dynamite #Art #2023 #2020s #20s

[stuff-diary]

Parasyte: The Grey

TV Shows/Dramas watched in 2024

Parasyte: The Grey (2024, South Korea)

Director: Yeon Sang Ho

Writers: Yeon Sang Ho & Ryu Yong Jae (based on the manga by Hitoshi Iwaaki)

Mini-review:

I enjoyed this way more than I expected. I was a pretty big fan of the anime that aired a decade ago, so I was worried about this adaptation. But that wasn't necessary: instead of making a simple live-action remake, they tried to approach the story from a different point of view, making sure it could coexist in the original manga's universe (as shown by the very last scene). That being said, this one doesn't delve too much into its themes, opting instead to focus on the horror and action elements. And damn, it does deliver. The action scenes make great use of the parasytes' "tentacles", and they're shot with some stunning camerawork. Yeon Sang Ho's directing fires on all cylinders, more than making up for the pretty mediocre CGI. It also helps that the cast does fantastic job. So yeah, Parasyte: The Grey might not be as deep as it could, but if you're in the mood for a thrilling horror-action spectacle, then you should give it a try.

#parasyte #parasyte: the grey #parasyte the grey #yeon sang ho #ryu yong jae #hitoshi iwaaki #jeon so nee #koo kyo hwan #lee jung hyun #kwon hae hyo #kim in kwon #lee hyun kyun #jeon soo ji #suda masaki #masaki suda #science fiction #sci fi #action #horror #kdrama #k drama #south korea #genre tv #2024 tv shows and dramas

[this-is-cool]

The exquisite futuristic sci-fi paintings of Jae Cheol Park aka PaperBlue - https://www.this-is-cool.co.uk/the-exquisite-futuristic-art-of-jae-cheol-park-paperblue/

#Jae Cheol Park #PaperBlue #sci-fi art #sci-fi artist #science fiction art #science fiction artist #digital art #digital artist #space art #scififantasyhorror #this-is-cool #futuristic art #futuristic artist

[jsvausvqbd]

The most unrealistic thing about the finale was Sunjae not bawling his eyes out at the sight of Sol in a wedding dress

#but it’s ok #it was still beautiful and I’ll take it #I love them so much #I’m glad these fictional characters get their happy ending #im sol #ryu sun jae #lovely runner

[undercoversasa]

PLEASE IM BEGGING

On Netflix the kdrama The Glory just came out and y’all when I say I am into toxic men. I mean it. Please to all the fanfic x reader writers PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER IS THE HIGHER POWER WRITE A JOEN JAE JOON X READER FANFIC. I’m melting. dying. crying. I get that his character is an asshole but like it’s a hot one. He’s like such a daddy material (literally) thank you mwah

#jeon jae joon #the glory netflix #x reader fanfiction #x reader fan fiction writers #please i’m begging #im going feral #foaming at the mouth #kdrama x reader #lawd please #Jung sung il is hot #toxic men #i clearly have daddy issues #please write this #i love crazy guys #i need help lmao

[sunsunmi]

Commander Cheon Hyuk-jae, ready to serve and also slayyy  💃 💃(yes he did kill that man in the demo and so what)

he's my mc from @eyesofshan-if, if you haven't already PLEASE do yourself a favor and check it out! 🗣

#interactive fiction #eyes of shan if #finally took hyuk-jae out of my hands now on my way to draw my pretty baby hansol #yongsun too is not safe hehe

[schrodingers-hoarding-problem]

fact about me, i am willing and able to excuse almost anything if you look hot enough doing it

#this is exclusively about fictional character #i am otherwise very capable of holding a grudge #like this guy i used to go to school with said something weird to my friend years ago? instant block #but hot fictional person kills someone? no that just adds to it #this is most about vegas from kinnporsche and doom from doom at your service #jae’s thoughts #thai drama #thai bl #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #kdrama #doom at your service #myul mang #kim saram

[favficbirthdays]

Happy Birthday

Jae-Ha (4th May)

Yona of the Dawn 

#akatsuki no yona #yona of the dawn #yona of the dawn jae-ha #any #any jae-ha #jae-ha any #yotd #yotd jae-ha #jae-ha yotd #ryokuryuu jae-ha #green dragon jae-ha #jae-ha #fictional birthday #may #may 4th

[anotherfanaccount]

I'm again thinking.....yup getting this rusty brain into exercising.....that how it's always almost the male leads of fictional works that get hyped. Because they're so unreal. Because they're everything us romantic girlies want. A man who loves us for what we are. Cares for us. Treats us like a part of their soul. All those fairy tales of princesses rescued by their prince charmings stayed in our subconscious and gets triggered everytime we see a dear man on screen.

As per the girls...I already love you....The boys need to prove themselves and when they do...God it's a proper cycle with me.

#fictional men #men you all just take notes from whatever us girls watch #take notes on why we love these fictional men so much #fictional man of the month is Ryu sun jae btw #I can hear Sunjae ya in my dreams now #Sol you really did some permanent timeline changes #the change being my life #lovely runner #kdrama

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Following up on my post about episodes 5 and 6, here are my thoughts on the mental health side of episodes 7 and 8 of The Eighth Sense.

Hey, @waitmyturtles, it's finally finished!

As in my last T8S post, I'll start by talking about what I see going on with Jae Won (and this time, to a lesser extent, with Ji Hyun), then get into my thoughts about what his therapist is up to.

Here’s what I’ll be talking about below:

lowered affect and psychomotor symptoms

the "freeze" response and the depressive side of PTSD

"I want to heal his wounds"

Jae Won's therapist: dancing over the line

the portrayal of mental health interventions in The Eighth Sense so far

what's next?

lowered affect and psychomotor symptoms

When it comes to Jae Won, I think for the most part his deal is readily apparent to anyone with a reasonable amount of insight, whether they have mental health training or not (though I hope my perspective might help clarify some stuff). As others have pointed out, he's incredibly numb and shut down. It's clear that he feels responsible for Ji Hyun's accident even before he says so directly to his therapist, and that he has some kind of distorted thought process that is telling him that staying away from Ji Hyun will keep him safer than if he allowed himself to be close to him again. This also functions as a way of protecting himself from experiencing another loss--if he doesn't have anyone in his life that he actually cares about, he can't get hurt that way again.

By the way, just like the capacity for self-blame I talked about last time, it's remarkable how readily people who've experienced trauma can form strong beliefs that don't make rational sense (often involving magical thinking) while seeing no reason to doubt those beliefs. For example, it seems pretty certain that Jae Won is consciously telling himself, "Everyone I love dies or gets taken away from me in some way, so if I love someone I'm putting them in danger." There's no possible way this could be true, but it feels like the truth to him and he's unable to see how obviously false this belief is.

A couple of the things we're seeing with Jae Won have psychological terms that can be used to describe them more precisely. You know how Jae Won's face is super expressionless for most of episodes 7 and 8? In psychology, we use the term "affect" to mean the expression of emotion in someone's face (and to a lesser extent, other parts of their body). ("Affect" has a really different meaning in other disciplines.) Identifying the type of lowered affect Jae Won has sheds some light on his emotional state. There are standard descriptors that psychologists and others use in reports and notes to talk about people's affect. "Broad" or "full" affect means a person shows a typical amount of emotion in their expression. "Labile" affect means that the person is showing disproportionately strong emotions; often these emotions change abruptly as well (for example, if someone laughs one moment and cries the next and neither seem appropriate to the situation). Then you have descriptors for people who are showing less emotion than normal. "Restricted" affect is somewhat subdued compared to full affect. Just like it sounds, it's as if the person is (consciously or unconsciously) restricting the amount of emotion they allow others to see. A step down from restricted is "blunted" affect, which is a pretty intense symptom. Someone with blunted affect shows very little emotion, even when talking about or experiencing something upsetting. Another step down is "flat" affect. I often see people using "flat affect" to describe a person who actually has blunted or just restricted affect, but flat affect is a lot more marked than that. True flat affect means that the person shows absolutely no emotion. It's extremely rare. You're highly unlikely to meet a person with flat affect in your daily life, unless you work in an inpatient mental health facility. Where is Jae Won on this scale? His affect is blunted. This is a very big deal! When someone is experiencing mental health symptoms so marked that their affect is blunted, especially almost all of the time as we observe in Jae Won's case, there is a lot of cause for concern. As you might imagine, it's often reflective of the person being very disconnected from their own emotions. This symptom can be associated with a number of diagnoses. Some of these involve psychotic symptoms, which might interest proponents of the "everything after episode four is a hallucination" theory. But it's also associated with PTSD and depression, and I think it's pretty clear that's at the root of Jae Won's deal. After all, his affect became blunted right after he was retraumatized and massively triggered by Ji Hyun's accident.

A great example of Jae Won's blunted affect happens in the scene where Ji Hyun finally gets him to talk to him in private and he keeps insisting that everything that happened between them "was nothing." It's not normal for someone to have almost no affect when having a conversation like this, no matter how they feel about the other person or their history with them. If their relationship really meant nothing to him, we'd expect Jae Won to look flippant, irritated, contemptuous, guilty, maybe superficially sympathetic, but we'd expect him to have some degree of affect. The fact that he can sit there, dead-eyed, during this conversation speaks volumes. Another term that applies here is "psychomotor retardation." Sometimes people say "psychomotor slowing" instead to avoid the connotations of that second word there. Or you may just hear about "psychomotor symptoms." In severe depression, people's speech, movements--really, just about everything they do can become slowed. If you've ever been around someone who was severely depressed, you may have observed this. I had a friend in college whose psychomotor symptoms got so intense during a depressive episode that I misunderstood and thought she was drunk. The fact that this is coming up for Jae Won is another giant red flag that he is in a massive amount of distress.

the "freeze" response and the depressive side of PTSD

Given how much informed trauma discussion happens on tumbr, I'm guessing a lot of folks reading this may already know that contemporary trauma scholars have added to the well-known "flight or flight" set of trauma responses. The most common change is to add "freeze" to the list to make it "fight, flight, or freeze." Some also add "appease," or "fawn." We're all familiar with the fight response to trauma (go toward the feared object and try to fight it) and the flight response (run away from it). The freeze response is analogous to instinctively playing dead when attacked by a dangerous wild animal, except it's usually automatic, something our body does whether we want it to or not. People having a freeze response may dissociate, or they may find it difficult or impossible to get their body to move. The "appease" response refers to an instinctive impulse to do anything and everything to appease a person who poses a threat. It's a trauma response that frequently comes up in partner abuse situations. The "fawn" response, sometimes called a "collapse" response, is a kind of last ditch attempt by your brain to disconnect from your body so thoroughly that you'll feel less pain as a result of the trauma. I'd group it with the "freeze" response--they're kind of like different degrees of the same thing, with fawn/collapse being even more extreme than freeze. I had a mentor, Dr. S, in one of my training positions who had put together his own model of how trauma works, one he had cobbled together from a number of sources. Usually when a mental health person tells you they have this kind of homemade theory bricolage deal it turns out to be a hot mess. But Dr. S was incredibly smart and experienced and his theory was coherent and useful. I wish I knew where he got the various components from. I know he was into somatic experiencing therapy and it was part of the model but there were other traditions he had pulled from as well. But the gist, as it applies here, is this: he categorized the acute trauma responses (fight, flight, etc.) into two main groups, activating on the one hand and freeze-y/deactivating on the other. And those acute responses, the responses that a person has in the moment when the trauma is happening or soon afterward, are related to how their PTSD symptoms manifest, if they develop it. According to Dr. S, people with PTSD usually have a sort of predominant tendency where their PTSD symptoms lean more toward the freeze-y side, which is the more depressive and dissociative side, or the fight and/or flight side, which involves more overt dysregulation, anger, risk-taking, and so forth.

The thing that made me think about Dr. S's model of trauma when I watched episodes 7 and 8 was something he always said about these different ways trauma shows up as symptoms. I wish I could remember the rationale--like, what the supposed reason was that things work this way--but I remember that once he pointed it out I started seeing examples of it everywhere. He said that if you're stuck in a freeze-y, depressive state with your PTSD symptoms, you can't move directly from that into a more healthy, engaged relationship with your emotions, your memories, and the world around you. Instead of going straight from freeze mode into something healthier, he said, you have to spend some time in fight/flight mode. It's like, metaphorically speaking, there's no path out of the freeze zone without passing through fight/flight territory.

Jae Won's PTSD typically shows up in a very freeze-y way. His depressive symptoms were his most noticeable ones from the start of the series. He dissociates rather readily. He was numb even before what happened with Ji Hyun, then gets even more numb. Actually, I'd bet that when he resisted his connection with Ji Hyun before, and to an extent in 7 and 8, one of his main reasons was that Ji Hyun makes him feel alive and that scares him. Ji Hyun makes him "thaw out" in a way he doesn't feel prepared for. And then, of course, as soon as he dares to let his guard down with someone and experience real connection, what happens? A new trauma and massive triggers for his past trauma. So he goes back into freeze mode with a vengeance.

And he gets really passive. Just sort of floating along. Not kissing Eun Ji back when she kisses him, but not saying no or pushing her away either. (Well, there's one extremely gentle push after which he takes the tiniest step back, but that's it.) When we see him alone, he's just lying in bed with his eyes wide open staring into space. But there is one thing that makes him wake up, something that puts him squarely into fight mode: Tae Hyung making shitty comments about Ji Hyun. As audience members, it's natural to want to cheer this on in part because Tae Hyung is such a dick and that was incredibly below-the-belt. But I think another part of what makes us want to applaud is that Jae Won is finally thawing out again. It's fleeting. And the way the show is edited drives this home even more since there's an abrupt cut from Jae Won pummeling Tae Hyung to him talking with their professor in his office looking incredibly spaced out. But it happens.

"I want to heal his wounds"

One thing I've noticed in more than one response to episodes 7 and 8 is people being critical of Ji Hyun's words when he tells Joon Pyo, "He wants to be seen as a strong person, but has a lot of wounds. And I want to heal his wounds." Basically, I'm seeing people say that it's up to Joon Pyo to heal himself and that it's naive of Ji Hyun to think that he can "heal" him. And to an extent, they have a point. If Ji Hyun claimed he was going to singlehandedly heal Jae Won's pain and trauma, it would be extremely unrealistic. Especially if he claimed he'd do it whether or not Jae Won participates. But he says he wants to heal Jae Won's wounds, and I think that's more reasonable. I would expect that most of us, in his shoes, would at least want that on some level, even if we don't think it's possible. But more than that, I think this is an example of a certain cultural attitude, one that (in my experience) seems more prevalent in individualistic cultures like those of the U.S. and much of Europe. It's related to the idea that "no one can love you until you love yourself." I find this attitude just as unrealistic, and just as riddled with wishful thinking, as the idea that we can heal a partner by our force of will alone without their participation. Because individualism is a wishful fantasy in a way. It tells us that we can fix ourselves without having to worry about making connections with others or whether those others will be willing or able to give us the love we need. But we can't just wish away our relational needs.

Human beings are relational creatures. We develop from birth through our relationships with others. These relationships can be damaging or they can be supportive and strengthening (or, of course, both). We don't have to wait until we are perfectly self-sufficient before we're capable of receiving love, deserving of love, or able to benefit from love. When someone loves us deeply and shows that to us, when they show their love through caring for us, it makes a difference in our lives. Of course it does! And if we are completely lacking in that kind of love, life is harder for us. I could go off for pages and pages about this and I may well do so here one of these days. For now I'll say that if you're interested in combating your individualistic bias and thinking in a new way about the fundamentally relational nature of humanity, I highly recommend the first section of Kenneth Gergen's book Relational Being--it's phenomenal. (I first read it on a long bus commute and I was gasping so much that people started giving me looks. And I normally never gasp aloud at a book.) Stan Tatkin's work on attachment dynamics in couples is also really instructive here. Tatkin talks about how we've been conditioned to think it's burdensome and excessive to ask for our partners to be there for us and take care of us in certain ways that are actually imminently reasonable and part of a healthy relationship. This isn't to say that there's no such thing as a burdensome demand or an onerous expectation of a partner. But there's a whole class of caring for others that gets stigmatized in our culture that's actually not only OK but healthy and beneficial.

What about Ji Hyun? I think it's not unlikely, given his age and lack of relationship history, that he's being a bit overly idealistic. But I also think it shows an admirable degree of self-awareness that he sees that he has a desire to heal Jae Won. And honestly? He already has healed him to an extent, even if subsequent events seem to have undone it. He can't heal Jae Won just by loving him. Jae Won would have to allow himself to be close to Ji Hyun again for that to happen, and he'd also have to open himself up enough emotionally to take in what Ji Hyun has to offer. And in order for him to heal in a substantial way--for example, to stop having an active case of PTSD--he'd also have to put in some independent effort. But it's also true that if Jae Won lets him, Ji Hyun actually could make a real difference in Jae Won's healing. And Jae Won could do the same for Ji Hyun.

Jae Won's therapist: dancing over the line

Jae Won's therapist/psychiatrist has been playing around with boundaries a bit since we first encountered her. Her "just tell me what your worries are!" joke ventured a bit close to a boundary line for me, but it stayed on the right side and made sense in context so I considered it pretty skillful. Sometimes getting close to those therapy boundaries is actually really powerful. I mean, it may sound like this would just be a lapse, and then we could debate whether or not it was forgivable. But actually, playing with therapy boundaries in a careful way that doesn't go too far can be an particularly good idea, depending on the situation and the client. Sometimes factors like the formality of therapy, clients' idealization of their therapist, their worries about seeming like a good person or being a "good client," and so forth can lead to the therapy process getting completely stuck. Calling some of these things into question can be really useful.

So initially, I thought Jae Won's therapist was handling this sort of thing well. At the same time, I was concerned that she might overdo it. I had a therapist once who played around with boundaries in a safe, careful way at first, and it really benefited me, but later, he was careless about some important boundaries and actually crossed the line to the point where I had to stop working with him. I didn't know if she'd do this, but I worried about it. Then episodes 7 and 8 happened.

Some folks have taken issue with her saying to Jae Won, "Why didn't you visit recently? I almost couldn't pay my rent because you stopped coming. You know every minute counts for the consultation fee, right?" I do think she's getting into risky territory here, but she ends up on the right side of the line by my standards (albeit barely). It should be completely obvious that Jae Won's attendance at their appointments doesn't make that huge of a difference in her bottom line. I actually see some reasons to believe she's likely an administrator or instructor/professor in addition to her clinical work (I'd be happy to explain my reasons but I'm trying not to get too far in the weeds). So she likely has other things to do besides see clients. And she's the kind of clinician that probably has plenty of clients. But no matter what her job entails, the fees from one client who sees her biweekly are not going to make or break her financially. She's trying to make light of her worry when Jae Won missed appointments (probably two, since a month has passed and that would mean two biweekly sessions). Then there's the exchange about her experiences with clients dying by suicide. There are aspects of it that seem OK to me, but she crosses the line in my estimation.

When she first raises the topic, she asks him, "Did you think about extreme decisions?" This set off alarm bells for me. It's important that therapists show that they're able to speak clearly and explicitly about suicidality. Using euphemisms or beating around the bush conveys a lack of confidence and comfort with the topic that could undermine clients' faith in the therapist or make the therapist seem like someone they have to protect from learning about their suicidal thoughts or intentions. Thankfully, she switched to more direct terms quickly, so I felt like that made up for her initial vagueness.

Then she talks about how "the hardest time" in her work is "when my patients commit suicide." But instead of talking about the loss she would feel in that situation, she quickly pivots to talking about how it's difficult to decide whether or not to attend these clients' funerals. It's a weird turn. It makes it sound as if the hard part is navigating this funeral question rather than the actual loss of the patient. I'm sure that's not how she really feels, but this topic shift makes it sound that way.

I know that @waitmyturtles took issue with the way the therapist hashed out conflicting ideas around ethics in a conversation with a client, and I do think that's almost always something that should be avoided. But I also think if she had done it in the right way, it could have been OK or even a good idea. Why? Because as I wrote above, one good reason to mess around with therapy boundaries sometimes is in order to undermine the idealization of the therapist when it gets out of hand. In other words, sometimes clients need to see firsthand that therapists are human beings too and that they make mistakes and have growth areas--and that they feel confused about how to navigate some professional situations, as she talks about here. It's demystifying in a way that can be beneficial. My biggest concern is actually the fact that she's doing this around the topic of client suicide.

Even though she plays it off somewhat by seguing into an ethical quandary about funerals, Jae Won's therapist is still raising the subject of how patients' suicides affect her. And this is where I think she's really playing with fire.

There's nothing wrong with a therapist acknowledging that when/if a client ends their life, they are/would be strongly affected. To pretend otherwise would not only be disingenuous, it would make the therapist seem unfeeling and cold. But it's risky to do anything that might center oneself in the conversation about a client's suicidality. Basically, saying you worry about a client, saying you would be very sad if they died, and so forth can be not only OK but advisable if done judiciously. But spending a substantial amount of time talking about yourself when you're sitting with a client who has a substantial suicide risk is insensitive and dangerous.

Of course, this is partly because centering oneself as a therapist is almost always counter-therapeutic (not to mention shitty and wrong). But if a therapist centers themselves around this specific topic, it could also lead to losing access to vital information about the client's thoughts, intentions, and risk level.

If I'm seeing a therapist who I have a good rapport with, I'm going to be concerned if it appears I might hurt them. I may even be highly motivated to try to protect them. If I'm having suicidal ideation but I think telling my therapist about it will upset, overwhelm or frighten them? If I'm being told right and left how distressing client suicide is for them? I now have a very good reason to keep my suicidal ideation a secret. Once a therapist loses a client's trust that they can safely disclose their suicidal thoughts and intentions to them, risks immediately go way up. Bottom line: if a client doesn't feel safe telling you about that stuff, you can't help them when they're in crisis. You're operating in the dark, without access to critical information.

I continue to believe that Jae Won is at a substantial risk of suicide and/or self-harm. And he has shown time and again that he tends not to disclose much in therapy even when he's at his best. This is no time to play around with this stuff. His therapist needs to show him that she's a steadfast, safe, concerned, but also reasonably neutral figure right now if she wants to have any hope of keeping him safe. And she failed to do that in episode 7.

the portrayal of mental health interventions in The Eighth Sense so far

As before, I think that the show has shown Jae Won's therapist in a mostly positive light in the latest episodes. And without a doubt, it's a good thing that therapy is being shown at all here. But one thing we haven't seen so far is an instance of therapy actually helping Jae Won in any observable way. And I'm becoming increasingly convinced that the series will end without any specific benefit from therapy being shown. I get that this is a love story and the emphasis is bound to be on the ways in which Ji Hyun and Jae Won can make a difference in each other's lives. But if you're going to portray therapy at all, you really ought to include at least some sort of potential benefit from it. Otherwise you run the risk of sending the message that while therapy might not be actively bad, it's also not something that will help someone in a meaningful way.

I'm also concerned about how psychoactive medication is being portrayed in this series. There's been a lot of talk of prescriptions. In the deleted scene that's been making the rounds, the camera pans down at Jae Won's pill bottles as if to call attention to them, emphasizing them at a time when Jae Won seems to be falling apart. Maybe these are hints that Jae Won is going to misuse his medication at some point, or maybe not. But currently, they function as a kind of commentary. The implication seems to be something like, "Look how fucked up Jae Won is right now. He even has to take medication for his mental health!" It makes it seem like someone taking psych meds is a sad or worrisome thing on its own. This is exploitative and supportive of mental health stigma. If it turns out these cues were foreshadowing Jae Won misusing his medication to self-harm, the generalized medication stigma aspect could be less of a concern, but it still wouldn’t exactly be a progressive portrayal of mental health care. I hope the show's creators pull back from this or find a way to make it all worthwhile, but I'm becoming less hopeful about that as well.

what's next?

I have some thoughts about what's coming next for the story based on what we've seen so far. Well, I have a lot of thoughts on that subject, but I'm going to confine myself to those I see as mental health-related here.

There's a chance that Jae Won could engage in some kind of self-harm or make a move to try to end his life. It's hardly certain this will happen, but it wouldn't be out of left field. Given the attention paid at various points to Jae Won's medications, the most likely avenue of self-harm seems to be misusing them.

One potential turning point could happen if events bring up Jae Won's protectiveness toward Ji Hyun. This could come up due to something really overt if he has reason to believe Ji Hyun is physically in danger, but it's at least as likely to come up if he sees other people mistreating him. If Eun Ji continues to try to bully Ji Hyun and Jae Won witnesses it, or if Tae Hyung lashes out at him, this could have a big effect on Jae Won. After all, even in his highly depressed and dissociated state after Ji Hyun's accident, the one thing that brought him back to himself was Tae Hyung's shitty comment. I would tie this back to the idea I mentioned above, that the path from long-term freeze mode to something healthier may need to involve passing through a more activated, aggressive state in the process. Jae Won's protectiveness toward Ji Hyun could be the catalyst that causes this type of shift for him.

#the eighth sense #the 8th sense #jae won x ji hyun #the eighth sense meta #the eighth sense discussion #the eighth sense analysis #psychology of BL #media portrayals of trauma #media portrayals of mental illness #TW suicide discussion regarding a fictional character

[please-dont-pet-the-okapi]

"The Only Thing" by Sufjan Stevens // The X-Files, "All Souls // "Hear Me Lord" by George Harrison // Katharina & Martin Luther by Michelle DeRusha // Hebrew 11:1, Douay-Rheims Version // "Heat Lightning" by Mitski

#i thought i was going to go to bed but instead i made this #anyway i am going ahead and claiming 'heat lightning' for the christians. #additionally there is. a very particular irony in using a detail from the life of the og protestant #(in the eyes of many anyway; luther was hardly original or unique in his quarrels with catholicism) #when dana scully is a catholic #but there's something about the bitter grief of the luther family that reminded me of this episode #grief is an awful thing to live with #and i can't imagine how agonizing it would be to lose a child in any time period #@jae enjoy this the fruit of my labor #the x files #rachel yells about religious themes in fiction #red string and thumbtacks

[elisxxbeth]

MATURING IS REALISING: The Moms were the real villains in mask girl.

i think parents play such a big role in the growth of a child and how they turn out as an adult, at some point kim mo mi mentioned her mom never called her pretty, imagine how sad that is for a little girl.

p.s. oh nam was also a certified weirdo so he sucks too.

#kdrama #netflix #mask girl #hot take #18+ only #manwha #i dont know #this is fun #maturity #how to tag #go hyun jung #ahn jae hong #yeom hye ran #korean actor #fictional other

[teafiend]

#kdrama #VOICE S1 #rarepair #Kang Kwon Joo #Lee Ha Na #Mo Tae Gu #Mo Tae Goo #Kim Jae Uck #Kang Kwon Joo/Mo Tae Gu #ah the visuals 😍🤩🤤 #they slayed #also apparent the PD and crew/artists knew the effect KJU as MTG had #but as a character he irked me to no end #MTG represents everything wrong with men of a certain segment of society for me #but he is fictional so am just going to lean in on the shipper feels #🤩😍🤤🥵 #reliving the feels #love/hate relationship with a fictional character is SO weird #one reason MTG gets on my nerves #I am a simple shipper #I like my ships easy and without complications #AUs AUs AUs #manifesting AUs HEAs

[liveasbutterflies]

hello, hope you are doing good, please can you gif the idol concert sunnjae scene when he was performing with that black embroidered jacket on stage🥹

i hipe it's not too much work for you👉🏻👈🏻

Hi nonie!! Here you go, I hope you like! (X)

AHHH I loved this outfit on him so much!

#lovely runner #ask #I dont listen to a lot of kpop groups but my god I can't believe I have a fictional group on repeat #I really hope they release eclipse ver of star #no fate has been on repeat an alarming amount of times #sun jae is my bias obvs HAHAHAHA

[littlemessyjessi]

"Untamed": BTS 8th Member x Park Jimin: Finale!

"Staring Exercise": Finale!

BTS 8th member series Untamed

Park Jimin x Mae Jae

🖤

Scenario: Jae is finally back from her vacation time with her family. As usual,  it's back to business for BTS and their schedules.  Today they are filming and have decided to do the social experiment where you stare into each other's eyes. 

These include the scenarios with Jae and each member.

🖤

Jae took a seat on the stool, running a hand through her hair.

"Oh heck, am I first?" She asked as she turned towards the camera.  "Why is it always me?"

"Because you're the oldest!"

She rolled her eyes as the unmistakable voice of Jin even if she couldn't see him.

"And yet you have no respect for your noona, Seokjin." She laughed.

Internationally,  technically she was six months and it was constant topic between the two of them... even if they were both born in the same year.

So really she wasn't his noona at all. 

But it irked him… so she used it every chance she got. 

He finally made his way into her line of sight with a smirk donning his features.  

"Because you're not my noona. You're only like six months older than me." He said taking a seat across from her.

She rolled her eyes again, "That's still six months more than you."

"Well, at least I look six months younger than you forever." He said.

"Fitting, man child." She said. 

"Namjoon,  mom and dad are fighting again! "

"Be quiet, Hoseok." Jin and Jae said together before bursting into laughter. 

"Ah, the joys of coparenting." Jae said and Jin gave her a long suffering sigh. 

"Do not call me your-"

"So what are me and the baby daddy doing today?" She cut him off.

"Yah!" He complained before he launched into full rage rap. "I am not your baby daddy! I'm too young for children! And I could never spawn with you. Our children would be beautiful but evil! Does this look like the face of someone who can deal with that? How could you do this to me?!"

"Pipe down, baby daddy." She said over the laughter of everyone in the room before turning to the camera man. "Please continue."

"Today we're doing the social experiment of staring into each other's eyes for four minutes.  We're breaking you off into groups and then pairs. Then we'll switch until the eight of you have all had a chance to participate with one another. "

"Aish, whyyyy? She's going to steal my soul." Jin whined and Jae smacked his arm. "See! Abuse!"

Jae rolled her eyes.

"Who do you think will do well with this experience?" The camera asked.

"Suga will hate this." Jin answered.  "He's not so good with eye contact."

"Says the man who compulsively winks if you look at him for more than three seconds. " Jae said.

Jin narrowed his eyes at her, "I loathe you."

"The correct pronunciation is love, dear, but I see that you're already overwhelmed so I'll let it slide." She said before turning back to the camera. "I think Jimin will probably do the best. He's all about eye contact. He gets a little shy sometimes but I think he can do it. Possibly V.  He can stare right into your soul."

"Alright, you two,  please face each other. You're allowed to blink and you may speak to one another.  But you have to keep direct eye contact. Understand?"

The both of them nodded before turning to face each other. 

"Great.  Your time starts when the beep  sounds and an alarm will go off when your time is up."

Jae looked at Jin and he couldn't help but laugh, cracking instantly. 

"Yah!" She yelled at him before turning to the camera. "Do over, please."

The director nodded and the beep sounded again. 

Jae held her fist up at Jin and locked eyes with him.

"You better get it together,  Seokjin." She threatened. 

"Or what?"

"Or I'll unplug your computer in the middle of your game."

His eyes widened comically.

"That's monstrous."

She shrugged, "That's war. So don't test me. You make it through these four minutes with me and I'll buy you cake. You don't and I will make you miserable."

"So violent." He laughed. 

She shrugged again and laughed when he winked at her.

"And so it begins." She said winking back.

"It's my habit. Stop bullying me." He whined.

"Your ears are turning red too." She said. "And your neck.  Oh look, that little vein is starting to pop out!"

"Yah, stop! You're gonna make me fail!" He accused.

"Alright, alright.  So let's talk then, I guess. " she said.

"Did you enjoy your time with your family?" He asked.

"I did. It was very healing. " she said. 

"Good.  You need more of that." He said.

"We all do." She agreed.

"You certainly do. I see how much you put on yourself sometimes." He said.

"Things have to be done and someone needs to do it. " she said.

"But even when you are supposed to be relaxing, I still see you working. Like you never turn it off." He said.

"I guess I have some trouble with that." She said.

"You should do nothing.  Sleep more. Play games. Eat good foods. " he said.

"I'm sure you're right."  She said.  "Maybe I just don't know how."

"I would teach you. " he said.

"I'm sure you would, Jinnie. I appreciate that." She said.

The two of them were quiet again as they stared into each other's eyes.

It was a rare occurrence for them.

They were usually bickering like children. 

There weren't often serious moments between them.

"Hey." He said.

"Hmm?" She asked.

"Thanks." He said. 

"For what?" She asked. 

"For always being there." He said. "When I asked and more importantly when I didn't."

Jae's gaze softened on his.

"Don't mention it.  Thank you. For always helping me even when I fought you every step of the way." She said.

He nodded.

The two of them tapered off into silence again just staring at each other. 

The lingering feeling of mutual respect and care permeating the room.

The timer went off and the two of them blinked. 

"How was that?" The director asked.

"A little intense." Jin said. "I don't think I've ever stared into your eyes like that."

"Did I snatch your soul?" Jae teased.

He patted his chest, "Still seems intact for the moment."

Jae chuckled.

"Jae, how about you?" The director asked.

"I think I feel the same.  It was intense but not necessarily bad." She said.   "We're the 92 liners and the oldest. So I think a lot of the time we've spent back to back or shoulder to shoulder,  ya know. Just ready to take care of the others as a united front."

Jin nodded, "I agree with that.  Because even though we've obviously known each other all this time and had many conversations,  I still don't remember having ever done anything like that. I didn't mind it though."

"Me either." Jae said, turning towards him. "I feel closer to you..."

Jin narrowed his eyes at her, "Don't you da-"

"Baby Daddy."

Jin rolled his eyes before he was sent off to pair with another member and Yoongi entered the room. 

Jae couldn't help but laugh a bit. 

He was already uncomfortable and it showed.

"Who'd they pair you with?" She asked as he took a seat.

"Jiminie." He said. 

Jae burst into laughter before turning to the camera.  "Y'all are wrong for that."

"Why?" The director asked.

"Because you paired the person who hates eye contact with the one who loves it. And his first one? That's cold. " she laughed.

"At Least it ripped the bandaid off." Yoongi said.  "You ready?"

"Damn, boy. You in a hurry?" She asked as they turned towards each other. 

"Just want to get it over with.  It makes me anxious, I guess." He said locking eyes with her as the beep sounded. 

"I guess I can understand that. " she said. "So you wanna sit in silence for four minutes or what?"

"Please God, no." He said, eyes widening. 

Jae laughed, "Well,  then I'm going to take this opportunity to embarrass you."

"Jae, please."

"I am going to use this time to tell you how much I love you because you have to sit here and you can't look away." She smirked. 

"Please have mercy. " he whined.

"I'm serious, Yoon.  I love you.  Like I'm so fucking , oh, shoot, sorry. I didn't mean to curse. " she said, "I just meant I'm really proud of you,  ya know. Like it's more than your professional accomplishments.  I think I'm just really proud to see who you are, ya know." She said.

He sat there staring at her for a bit longer.

His eyes watered and his lip wobbled and he finally cracked.

"Fuck..." he said finally looking away from Jae and the camera.

Jae scooted her chair closer to his and took his hand between hers.

"I'm sorry I made you cry but I mean it.  I love you so much.  You make me so proud to know you."  She whispered.

"I love you too. " he whispered.  "I didn't think this would affect me like this. I'm sorry."

"Well, to be fair, I did punch you in the feels. " she laughed before turning to the camera.  "If we have a penalty for this,  I'll take it.  I did play dirty and thwacked him in the heart."

"Can't believe you. " he laughed. "You knew I just came from a room with Jiminie staring at me like a weirdo and then you do this to me.  You two deserve ea-"

His eyes widened when he realized he almost let it slip but she just patted his hand.

Soon, Yoongi was replaced with Hoseok who looked at her suspiciously. 

"Why does Suga-hyung look like he's been crying?" He asked.

"Because I told him that I loved him." She said.

"Oh." He said.  "Well, I know that you love me."

Jae laughed,  "I don't doubt that. "

"Although with your recent behavior,  I seriously reconsider it." He said. 

"Oh?" She asked.

"It's been three days since I've gotten a kiss on the cheek. Three. Three." He said.  "You deprived me of your love and affection for your entire holiday and then you do this to me."

Jae rolled her eyes at his decision to be theatrical before she leaned forward and grabbed his face and placed a kiss to each cheek and his forehead. 

"Better?" She asked.

"You know, somehow that is a completely different experience when I keep eye contact with you. " He said.  "That's slightly terrifying. "

Jae shook her head and simply passed a hand through his hair.

"I remember when we first started and I was having a lot of trouble sleeping and you'd come over to my bunk and play with my hair until I fell asleep." He said, head leaning into her touch.

"Well you were tired and you needed sleep. We all had a lot on our shoulders back then.  We still do.  It's just different now." She said. 

"I missed my mama so much then." He admitted. "I still do but it was really hard then."

"You're close to your mama." Jae acknowledged.  "I'm sure you missed her alot."

He nodded,  "Can I give you a kiss back?"

Jae lifted her brows and laughed.

"I can already see the JaeHopers losing their minds." She said. 

"Just a forehead kiss." He giggled. 

"Sure." She shrugged. 

Hoseok's long fingers splayed across her cheeks and his heart shaped lips pressed to her forehead. 

"I don't think I've ever done that to you. " he said. "You're usually the one giving affection to me."

"You hug me all the time,  Hobi." She said.

"Its different. " he said.  "It's gentle."

"I agree." she nodded. "A forehead kiss is affection in it's purest form." 

The next few minutes spent between Jae and Hoseok consisted of him making cute faces at her trying to get her to crack and her just smiling or laughing at him in fondness. 

Soon he was sent away to stare at Jungkook while Namjoon replaced him. 

"I'm not trying to take this awful punishment so you sit there and behave yourself." he informed her. 

Jae laughed, "Oh, damn.  You going all Daddy Joon on me?" 

He wrinkled his nose and looked away from her in digust. 

"Ha!" she laughed. 

"Aish! Jae!" He complained. 

"I literally didn't do anything!"  she laughed. 

"You can't just- " he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "You can not call me Daddy.  That's weird. You're like my sister." 

"Ok, A, I didn't like address you as Daddy.   I referred to you as 'Daddy Joon'.  That's Army's nickname, not mine.  I know you're a helpless clumsy little baby." she teased causing him to roll his eyes. 

"You deserve it if Jungkookie slays you." he remarked as he left the room to be paired with Seokjin.  

"Cheeky little twit!" she called after him. 

However, no less than three seconds later, the maknae was standing in the door with a look of determination in those big doe eyes. 

"Oh god." Jae laughed. 

Jungkook grinned wickedly, "I haven't lost yet, Noona." 

"This isn't a competition, Jungkook." Jae reminded him. 

"Everything is a competition." he shrugged. "Go!" 

"That's my job." the director said. 

Jae snorted. 

"Go.." the director said softly. 

Jungkook was staring at her, refusing to blink. 

"You know we can blink, right?" she asked. 

"I'm making it challenging." he said, elbows on his knees staring her down. 

Jae lifted a brow at him but kept his gaze. 

She settled back in her chair to get comfortable, her gaze softening more and more until she hadn't even realized that she was crying. 

It was only the look on Jungkook's face that alerted her. 

"Noona?" he whispered. "Are you ok?" 

"Yeah." she sniffled. "I'm fine. Why?" 

"You're crying." he said, brows furrowing. 

"What?" she said wiping her face to feel the wetness on her face. 

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned. 

"Nothing." she said sniffling again.  "I just, I guess I'm just really proud of you, Koo.  You've grown into such an amazing young man.  One second you're this young kid following me around everything and now you're just.. this amazing person.  I'm just so proud of you." 

Jae cracked, a sob breaking out of her and Jungkook, who couldn't stand to see her cry, followed after and immediately pulled her into a hug. 

Both of them losing for breaking eye contact before the bell sounded. 

"Ah, shit.  I caused you to lose, Kookie.  And hell I didn't even win." she chuckled trying to make light of the situation and pull away. 

However, he just pulled her back in, pushing her head onto his shoulder, "Don't worry about it.  I got you.  You know I do." 

She squeezed him in a tight hug, the both of them pulling away sniffling after some time. 

Soon after he was replaced with Taehyung who burst into the room and demanded that he complete this challenge with hair pats. 

And damn it if Jae didn't comply because he was just as spoiled rotten as the rest of them. 

In the end, Taehyung lost the challenge because Jae played with his hair and he fell asleep. 

Like always. 

She just let him, taking a moment to stare at his face and the way his lashes dusted his cheeks. 

She spoke quietly to the camera, "I'll take the punishment for this one.  I don't think he slept well last night." 

"He's the one that insisted though." the director laughed. 

Jae shrugged, "I'm his Noona. It's my job to look after him.  I'll take the punishment." 

"If you say so." 

Eventually, she gently woke the slumbering teddy bear and sent him on his way. 

There was only one left but she heard him before she saw him. 

Undoubtedly, laughing at Taehyung's sleepy face in the hallway. 

Park Jimin entered the room looking so beautiful that angels must've been jealous. 

Hell, Jae was jealous. 

But also, incredibly grateful that she could call him hers. 

Behind the camera, he winked at her causing the heat to crawl up her skin a little. 

The little shit was flirty even when he didn't mean to be. 

Though she had no doubts that he damn sure meant to be in that moment. 

"I'm sure you're just thrilled with his challenge." she remarked as he made his way over. 

"I'm not unhappy." he smirked as he scooted his chair close enough to hers that their knees touched. 

"Same rules apply." the director.  "However, the two of you are the last ones because Jae let Taehyung sleep a little longer earlier.  So the others are joining for this last one." 

"Oh great…" Jae rolled her eyes as the rest of the members filed in. "An audience." 

"Count down starting in 3, 2, 1." the director said. "Go." 

Jimin took Jae's hands in hers, bringing them up to his lips to kiss the knuckles. 

"Jimin…" she said, widening her at him. 

His gaze never wavered, "You know, all those years ago, the first time I saw you, I knew right then that you were the only one for me." 

"Jimin, what are you…?" she started, gesturing to the camera and everyone else. 

He simply kissed her knuckles again. 

"And I knew that at the time, I was too young.  I knew you had no interest in me at the time.  I knew that it would take time.  I had to watch you date, fall in love with people that weren't me.  I had to watch when you were heart broken.  And I did.  I'd do it all again. Because I know what I have.  I waited so long and finally, finally the stars aligned and the universe smiled on me because finally the woman of my dreams saw me not just as someone she loved but as a partner.   That's all I've ever wanted, sweetheart." 

Jae swallowed. 

She had no idea what he was doing. 

She was well aware that they were on camera and in front of people but in that moment, all of that faded away. 

She was lost in Jimin's eyes and surrounded by his voice. 

"Jae." he said, sliding down off the chair and onto his knee.  His fingers opening a box containing a ring. "Will you make me the happiest man alive and honor me by becoming my wife?" 

Jae's mouth fell open, tears spilled over her lashes and she completely fell apart. 

She felt his fingertips on her chin, lifting her face to his, "Baby?" 

Her eyes connected with his, the question hanging in the air between them. 

"Yes!" she struggled to get out. "Yes, yes, yes!" 

She was half crying, half laughing as he pulled her out of her chair and spun her around.  

The members all but stampeded over each other to get to the happy couple, cocooning them into a massive group hug of congratulations. 

And suddenly it dawn on Jae and she ripped herself from all of them, "How many of you fuckers knew about this?!" 

The reactions was a mixture of sheepish looks and coy smirks. 

She could've murdered them all in that moment and then she glanced at the camera. 

"Oh, shit.  Jimin, you do realize you've just outed us to the entire world, don't you?" she whined. 

Jimin smirked, pulling her down in a breathtaking kiss. 

When they parted he whispered, "Army will understand." 

And they did. 

Because to be completely honest, Army had been saying Jimin and Jae were getting married for years. 

There was a collective hashtag amongst Army. 

#jiminandjaefreakinfinally

.

HEllo my loves! I know this has taken FOREVER to post but the finale is finally here! I hope you enjoy it and look forward to updates to the other series as well as.....new projects! Kenny's Comeback is in full force!

Love,

K

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