#john constantine is not amused

[chaoswarfare]

dp x dc prompt #50

The Justice League are investigating a series of accidents in a haunted newly-abandoned high rise, and call in Constantine to take care of the problem.

Danny is retrieving one of his wayward subjects from the same building.

Quiet murmurs fill the stuffy room as the leaguers sent to deal with the problem wait for Constantine to sort out their problems for them. One of the newer heroes shrieks as a door flings open and a white haired teenager all but struts through.

“Connie! It’s been a while since we ran into each other like this-!” is all he manages to say before John yanks him by the wrist and chucks him out the open window.

The heroes freak out, (their coworker just threw a child out the window!) and demand to know why he did that.

“Every time i run into him, without fail, something always happens!” The kid knocks on the window next to the one he was tossing out of, floating like he’d never even heard of gravity, and John lets out a string of very creative curses about the trouble magnet ghost king.

Half a second later, he’s just proven right when a hair raising shriek and a rumble like an earthquake shake the building.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dc x dp #crossover #dc universe #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #writing prompt #writing #funny #john constantine #john constantine is done with danny’s shit #danny phantom is a trouble magnet #john has learned to avoid him at all costs #because every single time they run into each other there’s a jl level threat causing mayhem #danny’s just used to it #a typical tuesday #not even usually worth thinking about #john constantine is not amused

[nelkcats]

Scamming the scammer

John Constantine was the biggest headache Danny had managed to get, ever. After becoming King he did not think that his first task would be to solve the man's soul problems.

And it seemed quite incredible to him that the hellbazer would consider selling his soul as if it were a used car that he wants to get rid of to buy a new one. He was aware that he needed a soul, wasn't he? That it was not possible to buy a new one? Because he didn't want to be the one to inform him if that was not the case.

To top it off, beings from different domains within his kingdom came explicitly to claim the British's soul, which didn't even make sense, there were thousands of souls! Why did everyone want the same one? And why did he have to be the one to take care of it?

Completely frustrated, he placed all the paperwork for John Constantine in an empty room and locked the door. He smiled as he came up with a plan to improve the situation, it might be worth it.

That's how a drunk John Constantine found himself signing a dubious contract in exchange for the power to turn any liquid into beer, he didn't bother to read the contract, most demons just wanted his soul and this guy looked so human, with a presence so light it must be a minor demon for sure.

This turned out to be a bad decision when the next morning he found himself trapped in a room full of documents, the door locked. Taped to the door was a green note that said "Enjoy doing your own paperwork sir, I hope you're pleased with yourself", and well, maybe he should have read that contract after all.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #dc x dp #ghost king danny #john constantine #Danny obviously made his presence lighter #And John was to drunk to care about it #or check if it was true #No one said he take good decisions while drunk #justice league dark #Of course Danny is going to explain the situation later #but for now he wanted the hellbazer suffering the same as him for all the problem #all the contracts in the locked office were Constantine's contracts lmao #Danny got bored of the 80 visits per day from greater demons to claim the soul of some idiot #He's really just being petty right now #John considered if the power to get drunk everywhere was a good idea for a few seconds #he shrugged and decided that it was worth it #Danny had fun dressing up as a minor demon #The Justice League won't be as amused as him with the current situation #justice league #Danny will leave John locked up all weekend #although he is obviously going to feed him #he is not a monster #just a tired teenager #Read your contracts don't be like Constantine

[pinkwormholes]

#dc sandman #dream of the endless #john constantine #dream is not amused #am i just suposed to no love john after this?

[petty-d4bblr]

I found an Instagram filter that works on my cat...

And it reminds me of this BTS selfie of Matt Ryan and Tala Ashe 🤣

#john constantine #constantine #matt ryan #matt ryan actor #legends of tomorrow #dc legends of tomorrow #tala ashe #zari and john #zari tarazi #hellstar #cats of the internet #instagram filter #lmao #lot6 #i am easily amused

[kazz-brekker]

me: time to read some classic hellblazer comics and gain some nerd cred :)

classic hellblazer: here have an arc with a horrifying bug demon!

me: fuck

#yes i know this is a horror comic and i should have been expecting it #but i did NOT enjoy turning the page to see that guy covered in bugs yikes #however i am amused that constantine can't drive and is making his friend drive him everywhere #pie says stuff #pie reads comics #pie reads hellblazer #hellblazer #john constantine #dc comics

[somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds]

Fragments of an Exploded Star

Happy birthday @agentmarymargaretskitz !!!! My podcast co-host, my co-author, my dear friend, we built this friendship on an AU we never finished, so why not start another? I present, the first in a series of assorted one-shots, the LOT/Star Wars AU. Where I have taken all the bits of canon from both universes, put them in my Nutribullet, and blended it into pure brain rot.

I thought this was going to be Constangreen, then morphed into a class Legends poly fic, where they're all dating in some way.

And yes, angst. More angst for the angst queen. Happy birthday, you beautiful tropical fish.

******

Cassie could do flips now.

She’d practiced by jumping off the furniture in the den, then off the table in the eating area, off the back of a Shaak, and Behrad had caught her about to tumble from the roof on more than one occasion. She’d always sigh and say she would be careful, but then he’d catch her at it a week later. Even after scolding her for almost getting hurt again, Behrad couldn’t hide a smile.

He watched her walk out to the field, climb to the top of the hill, and roll down. Every few moments, she’d pop back to the top of the hill and climb down. He could hear her screeching laugh as she tumbled down, like the first time he’d shown her how to do that.

“Did my mom show you how to do that, Uncle Behrad?”

“Yeah, Cass,” he smiled at her, wiping the dirt from her face. “She did, when she was your age.”

It took hours for the tears to subside enough to start to breathe again, when Behrad could look at Gary again without feeling the pain come back to his chest. Ever since he showed up with the little squirming bundle in his arms, and Behrad had just known what had happened.

“I understand if you can’t,” Gary told him, gently rocking Cassie, who cooed now that she had a little wooden spoon in her tiny hand to play with.

Behrad shook his head, scrubbed his face again, and let out another shuddering breath. He reached out, and Gary carefully placed the baby in his arms. Behrad looked down at Cassie (a cute name, Zari had liked that name, told him that it was on the list of potential names, that John had joked the baby should just be named Starboard, that’s what Zari had said he’d said, one of the last things she’d said) and wiped a little drool off her chin.

He looked up at Gary. “She’ll be safe here.”

“Are you-”

“Please, Gary. I - I need to do this. For her.”

Behrad turned around when he heard a rustle behind him. “Getting sloppy, Gare.”

Gary smiled, not much to that bright grin these days. “Can be sloppy, around you.” He looked toward the hill, watching Cassie climb up it again, and throw herself down, squealing the whole time. His smile started to fade again. “Is that-”

“She’s safe. Just a hill, and it rained again. Worst thing that’ll happen is that she stained her clothes again.”

Gary nodded, sighed when Behrad put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. “Right. Sorry.” He smoothed out his beard, pulling himself back together. “I should come back here more.”

“You said it wasn’t safe for you to be here,” Behrad reminded him.

“In the Empire, nowhere is safe for us anymore. At least I can be near you both.”

“What about your search?”

“There are rumors,” Gary told him, gazing off at a stray cloud in the sky. “Rumors I don’t want to believe. And after Stein, after Leonard, after Carter and Kendra… I don’t know if I can keep looking. It feels like we lose more each day.”

The stray cloud above finally merged with the others in their little patch of sky. Behrad squeezed Gary’s shoulder again.

“Sometimes we just have to look at what we have, and hold onto that.”

Cassie’s squeals echoed off the walls of the house. 

“Does she know?” Gary asked that question every time he visited. Behrad shook his head.

“Zari’s holos are in my room. I’ll show her when she’s ten. I promised her that, Gary. She can’t not know forever. She just knows her mom was my sister.”

“And her father?”

“When she’s ten.”

“John!”

John let the door shut, already a hand over Gary’s mouth, “Shhh, shhh, this is urgent.”

“Darhk’s been captured?"

“Okay, not that urgent.”

“What’s so important, John?”

John took a deep breath, glancing at the closed door. “It’s about Zari, and me. We’re - she’s-”

The words tangled in his throat and they couldn’t get out, but Gary picked up what he meant, from bouncing on his heels to his hands clenching and unclenching. “She’s pregnant.”

John looked had an almost nervous smile on his face. “Y-yeah.”

Gary lit up, hugging him close. “That’s - that’s amazing.”

“It’s kriffing scary, what it is.”

“Yeah, but exciting. I mean - oh, the council  -”

“Don’t have to know,” John reassured him, hand on his jaw. “I’ll tell them.”

“John, you’ll be-”

“I know.” That smile was back on his face, nervous as it was, but a spark of hope burning rare and bright in his eyes. “But it’s okay. I - I can give this place up.”

Gary’s smile went away for a moment. John kissed his cheek. “Not you, love. Of course not you. I just - I think I can step away now. Thought about it enough.”

Gary knew he had. Since Astra had walked away, the thought had been in John’s mind since. He’d been in the Order since he was scooped off the streets of Coruscant as a child, and this had been all he had. But his heart was never in it the way Gary’s was. It was always looking towards a new horizon.

Gary’s smile returned, kissing John quickly and softly. “As long as you come back to me.”

The sound of a child’s laughter shook Gary from his thoughts, and he stepped back in the shadows of the house as Cassie waved to Behrad from the top of the hill. Behrad waved back, only turning when Cassie tossed herself down the hill again. “You know you have to meet her someday. You can’t only show up, see me, adn then take off.”

Gary sighed, his hand braced against his temple, watching as Behrad disappeared into the house. “Not until I have the answers she deserves. She’s eight now, B. I have less answers now than I did then. She’ll have so many questions when the time comes, and I have no answers for her.”

Behrad emerged a few moments later, a wrapped loaf of five-blossom bread in his hands, passing it to Gary. This meeting was about to end, and who knows when he’d see Gary again? It had only been three months this time, but before that, almost an entire year had passed. Gary seemed to know this, picking off a few crumbs from the top of the loaf, avoiding a reason to leave.

“She’s safe here,” Behrad told him, as he told him every time. “Go.”

Gary licked a few crumbs from his fingers, brushed them from his beard, before looking back to Behrad. “If you told me to stay, I would stay.”

“I know,” Behrad sighed, leaning against the window. “ But you have to find her answers. Just promise me you’ll come back to tell them to her yourself.”

Cassie laughed as she rolled to a stop at the hill, looking up at the sky, and watching a ship fly overhead. She pointed up, “Uncle Behrad, look!”

Behrad looked up at the ship as it slowly passed them, then zoomed off. “I see it, Cass. I see it.”

#legends of tomorrow #star wars #gary green #john constantine #behrad tarazi #there are many twists to come still! #I just wanted to get the first little taste out there #an amuse bouche if you will

[familiaanteomnia]

"Well I am quite magic in bed." There was no saying it with an straight face; but he did manage an wink to punctuate it. An terrible joke of an flirt, but it was always an fun one to break out at times. Quite loved using it to annoy various lovers in specific. Fun across the board though.

#♥ thread 》 john constantine #♥ i don’t think i can live without you. 》 open starters #crack #(i just thought this was amusing lmao because it suits him so well)

[phantom-phortune]

This is why you don't sleep with the Tyrant King - The consequence is children

Constantine avoids involvement with the Infinite Realms for two reasons.

Who wants to deal with all those Ancients in the first place?

He’s avoiding yet another unhinged ex of his.

Of course, hooking up with Pariah Dark wasn’t really an actual relationship, more like a one night stand via dream walking (Nocturn owed Pariah, but seeing as it would be insane to release the Tyrant King from his endless sleep, he’d give him a dream partner every couple centuries) - regardless, Constantine doesn’t want to deal with that.

So yeah - the fact that the Justice League is attempting to summon the High King into the Watchtower has him wanting to drink more than usual.

Of course he gave warnings, but they’re dead set on doing so. A green folder had appeared in the secure “cursed artifacts” vault with no trace of whoever left it there. How else were they gonna find out how it got there?

So Constantine’s stuck there to set up wards, and is trying to find his way out of this one.

When the summoning circle worked, no one expected the teenager to pop out of it. 

Instead of Pariah Dark, or even the sarcophagus showing up, there was a white haired ghost boy with glowing green eyes the same color as the flames of the Crown of Fire. Except he didn’t look exactly like the others ghosts. He had a human skin tone, his proportions were exactly like a human teenager’s, and he was wearing a black and white hoodie with black sweatpants, for God’s sake. 

… Were ghosts able to reproduce with humans?

Before any of the Justice League can get into questioning, Constantine speaks up:

“You’re not the Ghost King.”

Green eyes settle on him, lighting up with recognition - Danny knows exactly who this is, with the amount of complaints on his desk about the blonde. Clockwork also informed him (he didn’t want to know but now he does) of the man’s stint with Pariah. 

Daniel “Commit to the bit” Fenton chooses to do just that.

“Of course not,” The confusion crosses the face of the heroes present- “That’s just because I haven’t had my coronation yet! I’m the Crown Prince, it’s practically the same thing!”

Oh, and the dread and realization crossing Constantine’s face is almost enough to make his core purr in amusement. 

“Now I will gladly answer all your questions, but first!” His eyes swept over the heroes before raising his hand and pointing accusingly at the British warlock.

“John Constantine,” his voice boomed, the temperature of the meeting room dropping as his face stretched with a smile too big and too pointy, “You owe me fifteen years of child support.”

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #ghost king danny #dpxdc #danny phantom #danny fenton #JL: scandalized gasp #Bruce is either going to berate Constantine or give Danny all the money he wants

[general-fandamonium]

Ellie doesn’t start aging until her existential age matches her physical one

34 year old Ghost King Danny

20 year old Ellie

Ellie calls Danny dad

Ellie joined JL/D

Ellie wanted to show her dad the space station (JL agreed on the premise of Interdimensional diplomacy)

Constantine is at the station that day.

Constantine is familiar with ghost culture.

Constantine wants to make a good impression on the very attractive Ghost King.

The JL/D are horrified by Constantine strutting up to the king of the infinite realms and punching him in the face

After a (powers included?) scuffle danny wins and they both help each other up while laughing

Cue Constantine “charm”

Additional bits and bobs. take em or leave em

1. Danny freezing one of johns cigarettes and john defrosting it

2. Danny’s ecto powers and john’s magic twist and warp together when combined

3. Ellie tormenting john for flirting with her dad

4. Dante (Dan) spends his time in hell “play”fighting demons with his daughter little friend Astra (john did save her she just likes to play with ghosts)

5. Connie gets the shovel talk from Danny’s loved ones, jazz’s shovel talk is the scariest.

6. Clockwork is deeply amused that danny ends up dating the only other person who’s future he can’t see

7. Deadman fangirls over King phantom?

this is up for grabs to anybody who want to use it (please tag me if you do)

#dc x dp #dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dcs sad englishman in a trench coat

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Adult!Danny x Sleep-deprived!Constantine: We seem to have a misunderstanding.

Warlock was willing to admit that the Phantom’s company was mostly useful and not unpleasant. Because of the specifics of his work they had to meet quite often. It was nice to be at least a little sure that you wouldn’t get stabbed in the back. The new ghost king seemed to be amused by the World of the Living and that was quite useful. In addition, the Infinite Realms had a history of endless conflicts with Hell, so when demons was messing with him, Phantom was happy to put sticks in their wheels.

However, the current enemy of the League was another alien. Both John and Phantom happened to be nearby. But it seems ghost had no reason to help Hellblazer now, as this fight had nothing to do with his kingdom. Given that Batman had explicitly instructed John to stay on the battlefield, it seemed that if John Constantine wanted to count on a weekend, he would have to use his trump card now.

Constantine: In view of the urgency of the situation, I would like to make a proposal. Life offers many challenges. I know I can meet them if you're willing to face them with me. In the spirit of saving time..[holding up a ring] This is for you. You in?

Phantom: I..I don’t know, John. I mean i want to say yes but It’s all so sudden. Please gimme some time to think, okay? And let me help to deal with these invaders first and then we’ll talk about it.

John: ..Sure?

~~~~~

Tucker: Whoa crazy battle dude. John: Civilians are not allowed here. Danny: It's all right. We were going to meet at a cafe, but now, well, there is no cafe. I mean, he's with me and not so civilian, okay?Ehem..John, meet my best friend Tucker. Tucker, meet my..Em, this is John, and he's kinda my John. It's new for us.

Damn. He was in a hurry and offered more than he should have. It turns out the ghost had an interest in protecting the city. It is unlikely that he would allow the destruction of the place where one of his humans lives.

And worst of all, Phantom did not accept the ring (for which John had to hunt for several months) as payment. Constantine got it specially in case he needed a favor or a way to calm the anger of the spirit he was starting to get along with. Like, really, John spent a fair amount to own the artifact which would have neutralized the consequences of wearing a ring of rage. But Ghost didn’t want it? Why? And yet he helped. So John was in debt.

And how it's all at a bad time. The peace treaty and the treaty of cooperation between the States and the Infinite Realms was concluded only recently. Of course John didn't even have time to discuss the terms of their deal because the blushing ghost flew away to fight but to say that he won't pay for the service is like admitting that you want to start a new conflict. Constantine was starting to have a headache. He'll think about it when he gets at least a couple of hours of sleep. Whatever payment the ghost needs, it can wait a couple of hours.

~~~~~

But as it turned out, the ghost couldn’t make up his mind and decide what he wanted from him. He started showing up at John’s place and looking at him thoughtfully, also recently dragged him to pick out a suit. How he could be mistaken for a stylist John did not understand but preferred not to unnerve a potential ally.

Moreover, for some reason the chaotic creature decided that he had the right to condemn John for always forgetting to have dinner or take a bath. This scoundrel dared to lock him in a bathroom with strange scented candles and colored water. Whatever these bath bombs were, dumb spirit failed to poison him but now John smelled like peaches. Disgusting.

After breaking down the door he found the same mess with candles on the kitchen table. Phantom fought a fierce battle with the green goo in the pot that he brought to John's house, but eventually gave up and they ordered delivery. All in all, it was a pleasant evening. Of course John didn't admit it but for some reason Danny decided that he could make such a mess every Friday.

~~~~~

Danny: So..me and Morningstar are friends now. Do you mind? I know you don’t get along very well. John: Why should I care? Your friends are your business. Considering you’re crazy about the stars I’m surprised you’re not sleeping with their maker.

Danny: Hell no, Lightbringer is great. And I’m glad he’s sharing with me what I wouldn’t find in books but I would never cheat on my partner. John: Good to know. (Wow, who knew the Phantom has a lover.)

~~~~~

Morningstar: I have no idea what you see in this arrogant man, stardust.

Phantom: I don’t know. It’s interesting to be around him. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. And his determination and sarcastic nature are really charming.

Morningstar: Well, I’ll get rid of some of his contracts for your wedding but only because I like you and not because I’m willing to deal with this liar.

Phantom: Thanks, Luci,  you’re the best.

Morningstar:That’s true. But it's not free. I need you as a babysitter to keep Spawn busy while, well, Detective and I are busy.

Phantom: No problem :)

#dpxdc prompt #dpxdc crossover #dpxdc prompts #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #have no idea what this ship name is.help?! #danny x constantine #dannyxconstantine

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 185

No one could get into contact with Constantine. 

Now usually that wasn’t that big of a deal, the man constantly disappeared for a few days at a time doing something or other, but he’d been completely silent and unseen for months. Usually he’ll at least answer a call to tell them to fuck off or something. 

And they really need his expertise and are getting incredibly worried for their grumpy team member. Yes he’s an asshole, but he’s their asshole, y’know? And he has a habit of getting into Situations (sure he also usually gets out of them, but what if he didn’t this time?!) 

So they’re desperate. Kind of really desperate. Desperate enough to use the summoning sigil they found on his fridge. They’d checked it, multiple times, and it should summon the hellblazer. 

“You’re not Constantine.” . 

The white-haired teen in the circle yawned, stretching and blinking at them blandly with familiar blue eyes before sighing. “Actually I am,” he stuffed his hands into his hoodie as he looked down at the summoning circle. “Well, technically just one of the many Laughing Magicians currently in the Realms.” 

He gave a grin, looking more amused than annoyed. “Pretty much every one of us is in the Realms right now for family reunion lol. (Did he just say lol out loud??) So like, you’re gonna have to specify which of us you’re tryin’ to summon. Honestly perfect timing for me thanks, the fruitloop keeps flirting with John and it’s horrific so.” 

… That was probably their John, wasn’t it…

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #The Constantine Family exists for fucking over entities & manipulating luck #They adore this scrappy halfa who is doing the same with twice the feral #Danny: Yeah I’m like the changeling child that ended up in the middle of them and they just kept me for the laughs lol #Danny: I’m not allowed to join in the drinking competitions #Danny: Oh no it’s not a responsibility thing; alcohol doesn’t affect me and they say it’s cheating #Why Yes Vlad IS flirting with their Constantine #He’s started his redemption but let’s be honest he’s also a con-man & John is all for fucking over the rich #Danny is disgusted at how well they’re getting along and wanted to get away from their flirting while everyone else ribbed at em #Hence why when they all felt the summoning he decided to go #Well that and also for the laughs because he’s learning magic Undead Constantine style #”Fuckin 'ell yeah the family 'as a necromancer in 'he line again look a' 'im go!” (Lots of ghost & living people drunken cheering) #Danny only half fucking with people: Yeah I’m like their collective undead fae child lmao #danny fenton #john constantine

[ghostbsuter]

Sometimes.

Just sometimes.

Bruce, tired father of too many children, wished for a small break.

Just a tiny one.

He pinched his nose, cowl covering his head and expression and glared.

"I can't believe you snitched on me!" Billy batson, freshly revealed teen and sitting on his usual spot during meetings, hisses.

"If I have to get parented, so do you!" Danny fenton, also freshly revealed teenager, glared right back.

"Boys." Both their attention snapped to wonder woman, still tense and warry.

"Do you two have adult supervision, at least." Batman asks, feeling slightly more drained than before, he can feel Nightwing's stare at the back of his head, coming closer.

"Do the voices count?" Danny asks, to which Billy nodded. "Yeah, do they? Zeus has strong opinions, and many kids. He probably can parent, somewhat."

They shrugged both, like they hadn't just opened another whole can of questions.

"Wait!" Danny snapped his fingers, "what about clocky? He sends us on time missions, has his own lair, and lets us hang around. That counts? Right?"

The other teen nods in agreement.

(Knowing both are black haired and blue-eyed teens, he already knows Dick will never let him live this down. Deceived by children, for YEARS.)

(So much for being the greatest detective.)

(The text he sent to Alfred is between him and his butler dad.)

"Or—"

In the end, the two agreed reluctantly to stay around for a while. The Kents, the Allens, Diana, and the Waynes have opened up their homes to house them permanently.

Much their amusement, they declared, that to make no one jealous, they'd switch homes every other week or so.

That alone smelled like chaos.

Whatever, it was Diana's first week.

(And if the house of mysteries appeared in front of them sometimes, that's also between them and a very suffering John constantine.)

.・゜-: ✧ :-

A continuation

#identity reveal #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #fic prompt #writing prompt #dc x dp prompt #billy batson #billy and danny are gonna love tim “i created a whole ass uncle to avoid gettinf adopted” drake #diana is both amused and raising a brow #wdym zeus is in ur head child #yes twitch chat style baby #billy and danny are brothers in crime and losers in costumes #/affectionate #i love them pleSe #wait till the adults find out about billys very much walking and talking TIGER bestie #or a body shiftin ghost dog #tawky tawny and cujo will make everyone 1000% funnier

[rboooks]

DP x DC: Child Support

John Constantine has done a lot in his life. Some good, some bad but most have been dangerous.

He sold his soul to as many powerful beings as he could so that they could fight each other over it and keep him in a safe-ish stalemate. It was a risk, one where he had to sweet talk, maneuver, and sometimes seduce his way through, but he's always come on top.

Waking to his wards broken as easily as someone walking through a still river meant he had finally met his match. John woke to the Time looming over him in its adult form.

Clockwork, the physical concept of Time, smashed into a body and consciousness. It's so rare to see the god outside his tower; to even be in his presence was such a high honor that families would keep proof of the encounter for generations to brag about.

"Hello, Johnny," Clockwork said in his specialized adult form. The nickname curved with fondness. This form is an even rarer sight to behold. Clockwork looked about to be in his late twenties, dressed in a Victorian-era suit with dark black hair, he would look human were it not for his pure red eyes and time staff.

He looks gorgeous.

John smiled nervously. "Clockwork. What do I owe the pleasure?"

The ghost hums. "I have come to make a deal with you."

See, that's not something John would like to hear from the second-strongest being in the multiverse. He was second to the Ghost King. Some would even argue that Clockwork was stronger were it not for his desire to remain neutral in conflicts for the sake of different timelines.

"What kind of deal?" John asks with a lustful grin, running his eyes up and down Clockworks form. It looks like he may have to seduce his way out of this again and hopefully could convince the god of Time that he was a great time in bed instead of dead once more

The Master of Time appears amused but unwilling to climb under the sheets with him. Bollocks, if he wasn't back for another month of pleasure then the deal would likely be unpleasant.

Even if Clockwork could be considered a past fling, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't ask for something harmful. John had less powerful exes who would gladly have him killed just as likely as they would key his car.

To make thinga worst, Clockwork reached into his gentleman jacket to pull out a small jar. John's heart leaped in horror at what was inside.

"I have collected every piece of your soul through challenges, purchases, or even offerings. I own you entirely, John Constantine," Clockwork said, his warm tan skin rippling into blue as the Ghost turned the jar this way and that. "I wish to return it to you, with my added protection, should the old contracts which you swindled will not seek out revenge in exchange, you must take responsibility."

John can barely breath "Responsibility of what?"

Clockwork gestures behind him, and out of the shadows step a human boy. A human boy that looks precisely like human-Clockwork as a teenager but with John's eyes and the shape of John's nose.

No.

He knows that despite how similar they look, Humans and the citizens of the Infinite Realms aren't biologically the same. He just didn't think that meant this.

That he could be so careless it resulted in this.

Clockwork waves a hand between them. "Jonny meet your son, Danny."

John choked as Danny awkwardly waved at him. He even stuffs his hands into his pockets the same way John would stuff his hands into his trench coat.

This can't be happening.

"Our son is half human, and it's unhealthy for humans to remain in the Infinite Releams for long periods. I now require you to raise him on Earth until his core is ready. The day our son is of age, you will have your soul back with my Infinite protection. Danny will take the throne of the Infinite Realms upon his marriage so do help him find a good suitor."

Clockwork considers the rapidly paling human with large amounts of glee. "I trust this would be acceptable? I must warn you, I have raised him outside of time, so he is a bit behind with modern technologies and references. He also has a ghost form he must use for his health. Oh, and, Danny has a peanut allergy, so keep that in mind for his meals. If anything were to happen to Danny while he lives with you, I would erase this entire place and not through time manipulation. I will simply kill everything. Keep you alive so I can kill every version of those you love across the multiverse in front of you. Try not to slip away from your child support to prevent that, yes?"

John faints.

Danny Fenton had to be removed from his dimension to erase Dan from existence. His future self had nearly escaped the Clock tower they couldn't risk a second time. Clockwork had told him removing him from his dimension, his timeline, would never allow Dan to exist. It broke his heart but to save the many lives that Dan took Danny had agree.

His friends and family were devastated even if Clockwork told them Danny would be allowed visits. Just nothing longer than a week and six months between visits. He had moved into Clockwork's haunt, becoming an assistant to the master of time. He helped weave timeliness, and suggested possible choices for various creatures of various situations across the multiverse.

Danny helped Clockwork control fate, if that wasn't ridiculous. He even tried his ghost powers, to the point he felt he could truelt match his mentor in a fight.

He spent two years like this- or two years in his home dimension. Time didn't move in Clockwork's tower so despite the amount of time he lived there Danny didn't look a day over fourteen still. It irked him like nothing else to see Tucker and Sam as sixteen year Olds while he still looked like he was a freshman.

(It also hurt to see them move on without him.)

However, due to his halfa status, his human side was starting to fall apart. He needed sun, food, sleep, and other humans. He would go mad otherwise, and none of this would matter if it resulted in Dan.

Clockwork couldn't put him back home. He couldn't even put Danny in an alternate timeline, for he could not be close to people he knew.

He had to go to one that had no various of anyone Danny knew. Thankfully the Infinite Releams is connected to plenty of places that fit the bill. All Clockwork had to do was twist a few small events, and boom, Danny Fenton would have a perfectly legal background with everything he need for survive.

If only his mentor wasn't such a michivious prankster.

" You want me to pretend to be your love child with some random magic guy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Trust me Danny, it's going to be hilarious."

(Part 2)

#dc x dp crossover #John Constantine takes on Danny #Clockwork ans John were a fling #John is losing his mind. #Danny went along with it cause his bored #Child Support

[thevoidstaredback]

Honestly, Danny doesn't know how he gets into these situations. It's probably the fault of a deity or an Ancient or someone. It's most definitely Clockwork's fault.

Going on that mission with Constantine sounded like a good idea at the time, and Raven was going to be there! She's the best impulse control on the team. He realizes he should've clarified why Raven was going with them. Evidently, it was not to help or be impulse control for the Ghost King and the Alcoholic Soul Whore. (Don't tell Constantine that's his nickname) Raven was going along because she had business at Titan Tower. It should've been obvious, but Danny is not the most observant.

Either way, he was wrong. He thought going on this mission with John - there was a demon running around an apartment building and people were, apparently, quite upset about that - would deter the Justice League from hounding him like roaches. He was right about that, but also very wrong because the proteges took the opportunity to sniff him out like the bloodhounds they are. Unsurprisingly, Red Robin was at the head of the charge.

Raven, the traitor, sat back and laughed at him. She wasn't laughing, but it was obvious that she found his misery amusing.

Anyway, this lead to a citywide hunt for Danny. Anytime he spotted even a hint of any of the Titans chasing him, he was gone. He couldn't stray too far from Constantine, though, and Beast Boy had a nose like a damn elephant.

The chase lasted a solid three hours before he had to let them catch him, if only so that he could tell them to leave him alone because he's there on official JLD business. Not like that would actually work, but he had hope. Unfortunately, he forgot that Red Robin is Bat Trained.

Danny took a second for himself before the Titans caught up with him. Was this really better than Deadman harassing him about his first time in Gotham? No, it wasn't. It wasn't any worse, either, and he didn't know how to feel about that.

"Are you finally done running?" Red Robin asked, landing in a crouch in front of him.

Danny folded his legs to sit criss-cross in the air as the rest of the kids that had been chasing him joined RR. "You make it sound like I'm a criminal."

"You ran like one," Beast Boy pointed out. Fair, but rude. "And, dude, I don't know if you know this, but you smell horrible."

Danny placed a hand on his chest with a dramatic gasp. "How dare you! I took a shower just last week!"

Raven was now unamused.

Superboy gagged a bit. "He's right," A small shudder. "I couldn't smell it before, but I can now that you're so close to me."

He sighed with equal dramatics as his gasp. "I guess I can never get rid of the smell, even after all this time."

Wonder Girl tilted her head to the side slightly. "Oh? And what smell would that be?"

"The smell of death," John Constantine, ever a man of impeccable timing, turned onto the side street to join them. He largely ignored the kids in favor of the ghost child who isn't actually a child but no one listens to him when he explains that so he's probably going to stop trying. "It lingers. C'mon, kid, we've got a demon to exorcise."

Danny huffed like a petulant child, "Still not a kid!"

Constantine continued walking away. "Still don't care."

Part 4 Part 6

Tag List:

@zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders @princessbelix @luminanightfall @kgne-k @bianca-hooks123 @reigning-catsanddogs @sassywombatranchhorse @dontfightmecauseillcry @soul-lime @anarinette

#part 5 #dc x dp #dcxdpdabbles #dp x dc #dcxdp #dcu #danny phantom #ghost king danny #the elephant comment is a complete coincidence #it's funny and I'm not complaining though #teen titans #red robin #justice league dark #I keep thinking of Dick's Titan Team instead of Tim's #we're figuring it out though #jld #no ships #If it's not been obvious #I've never actually read any of the DC comics #It's also been a minute since I last watch Danny Phantom #Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant #sorry for the short updates for this story

[e-nonsense]

─── 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩

pairing. prince!jason todd x witch!reader

summary. royal au. bruce doesn’t approve of his son’s relationship with constantine’s pupil/ward , not that jason cares

warnings. pet names: little pet, darling. Tooth rotting fluff i guess?

a/n. fuck writers block. three fits in less than 12 hours? crazy. might make this an au, so feel free to send requests based on this au to find out more

wc. 1.1k not proofread

Jason rolled his eyes as another young woman walked away from him, throughly offended. This had been one of Bruce’s many attempts to find his so a suitable woman— one that wasn’t you.

After Dick had married Princess Koriand'r and left to live with her in her kingdom, Jason had become the sole heir to Bruce’s kingdom. Being the second oldest of his siblings. But before any of that Jason had fallen in love with you.

“Lost young prince?” your voice comes from trees, and Jason glances around frantically. His hunting expedition had gone horribly wrong, a group of trickster illusionists had scared his men and the horses away. Leaving Jason behind.

“Who’s there?” He ask, raising his sword while turning in a circle, his eyes land on you as you step out from the shadows. The sun makes your eyes glow and Jason thinks you’re the most beautiful things he’ll ever see. His guard is lowered, as his eyes scan you up and down, taking in your beauty before moving back to your eyes.

You chuckle and he swears someone had to have casted a love spell on him, he can’t take his eyes of you. “Are you allowed to be this deep in the forest?” You ask and he gulps nervously as you step closer to him, your simple grey dress trailing behind you. “I’m surprised you made it through all the wards I put up around here.”

“Plus the Chimera,” you hum thoughtfully.

“Can you not speak?” You ask, inching closer till you’re in his personal space. “Apologies,” you smile.

“No.. no I can speak.” He whispers, staring down at you before sheathing his sword.

“Oh,” your smile widens. “Well, would you like to join me for tea?” You offer, and Jason knows he should’ve hesitated before nodding but he couldn’t help it. The excitement in your eyes when he agreed would be worth it if you were truly planning on killing him. Either way he let you lead him through the trees to a cottage that past the border of the land of witches and warlocks.

“At least try to entertain the thought, Todd.” Damian scoffed watching as another possible — approved — suitor walked away. “Father has gained many grey hair because of your devotion to the witch.” Truthfully Damian had no problem with you, he thought you were a perfect fit for his brother. Kind, loyal, able to put up with Jason’s moods.

It was just Bruce’s paranoia getting in the way of everyone’s peace. When the king had found out about you, he called in a favour from a warlock to get rid of whatever love spell you placed on his son. Safe to say John Constantine was amused by the request but assured Bruce that there was no spell on Jason and the boy’s infatuation with you was purely Jason.

Jason rolled his eyes at the thought, “or Bruce just needs to get over it.” He retorted, crossing his arms scowling as another pride princess tried to near him. “I’m leaving,” Jason says, looking over at Bruce as he makes his escape.

It didn’t take long for Jason to escape the palace grounds, through he was sure he had ripped his suit jacket, not that he’d see the stupid peace of fabric as he’d already dumped his clothes for a simple white poet shirt and some black riding pants. He rode his stallion to the forest’s entrance, stopping in front of it and trying it’s lead to a flimsy fence.

The prince entered the forest with no care, the protective wards shimmered as he entered, and the path illuminated in the darkness. Something you had done so he wouldn’t lose himself in the woods when he’d run from the palace and seek comfort in your cottage.

He quickly followed the path, passing the border and swiftly making his way to your home. When he arrived Jason knocked on the door softly, waiting for you to answer.

The door is answered a few seconds later, revealing a tall blond. The man groans, rolling his eye, “not you again.” He grumble, a cigarette dangling from his finger as he opens the door properly. “Kid! Your boyfriends here!” John calls out as he swings his coat over his shoulder, a cigarette hanging from his lips as he pats his pockets down looking for a lighter before snorting and lighting it with his fingers.

“Well go on in,” John shrugs, stepping out of the cottage you called home. “Oh, tell her to stop sending her little ravens to check on me, will ya?” John adds before disappearing into the misty pathway.

Jason always wondered how the man never found himself lost, or perhaps John never had somewhere specific he’d ever be going, cant be lost with no destination.

The second Jason stepped into the cottage he was met with the sight of you humming a tune, the same one he heard when the two of you met. Jason smiled, walking closer until he could wrap his arms around you and rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Hi love,” you say as soft spoken as always. His eyes watched as you peeled potatoes before he kissed your cheek gently, “hi sweetheart.” He mumbled in return.

“How was the ball?” You asked, mainly teasing but with some curiosity.

“Missed you,” he huffed like a child, “Bruce is always trying to set me up with princesses. Who wants those snobby little bastards? Not me.” He complained.

“Just because Dick married a princess— who by the way comes from a magical bloodline— he thinks I’m going to do the same. Kori’s nice and all but how is it fair? Just because she’s royalty, its okay that Dick married her.”

You sigh softly, “he’s trying to protect you. People have never trusted those who come from this side of the world, faes, witches, shapeshifters. Sometimes with good reason, not all of us have good intentions.”

“But you do,” Jason retorts. “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and i don’t say want anyone that isn’t you…. Is there a way that i could stay here with you?” He asks and you shake your head.

“Not without your father starting a war, we don't want a repeat of 1843.”

Jason groans but understands, Bruce would assume the worst if Jason just disappeared again, especially now that he was with you. He’d assume you’ve kidnapped him or some bullshit to feed his ideals.

“Can i stay for the night then?” He murmurs softy, his nose nudhung your cheek. “I just wanna love you before going back.”

You find your resolve melting away when you meet his eyes, blue and green. “One night, then home.” You nod.

“You are home,” he mumbles in response but doesn’t press further, instead the rest of the night is filled with laughter as you teach him a new recipe he’ll be sure to share with Alfred.

© e-nonsense. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and I’ll bite your toes off

#jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #jason todd #jason todd drabble #jason todd oneshot #royal au #witch!reader #jason todd x witch!reader #enzo writes [📝]

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 21 - "Just in case this doesn't work."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: -

A/N: Inspired by this Post about Danny bullshiting his way by saying he is Tims future kid. Also once again posting this early, cause I need to destress tomorrow and not worry about writing or work or anything.

Edit: Thanks to @kisatamao in the comments I found the post again that inspired this and linked it!

"Chronus"

"Nowadays I go by Clockwork."

"Fine, Clockwork then."

"John Constantine."

The Ancient of Time and Justice League Dark members stared at each other blankly. Until the ruler of time smiled and Constantine sighed. "How is the time baby doing?"

"Very well. Your timeline is safe. There was an incident that could have possibly splittend the timeline again and in a way it did but the destruction timeline was once more prevented, by the child himself like I hoped for. Three times now."

Constantine grunted, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. "You know if Bats or any of his kids ever learn about this I will be the one to take the burn right?"

Clockwork only smiled a knowing smile and Constantine paled. "When?"

"Where is the fun if you knew. The little Drake has been quite unpredictable and entertaining." The Ancient mused floating around the room and Constantine's eyes narrowed.

"There won't be a paradox?"

Clockworks tilted his head with a mischievous smile on his face. "Well the timeline in which he was born no longer exists and his father of this time line has ceased his efforts in cloning. He never even got to the point of trying to combine his own DNA with the one he so desperately wanted to clone."

"I feel like I am hearing secrets I definitely do not want to know. Just tell me if this timeline is safe or not now."

"It is safe. Your timeline has now a true Ancient of Balance in the making and just in case this doesn't work, I have anchored Daniel's existence in this timeline with several means one of which was his own time clone created from a split of destruction line."

Constantine's eyes twitched. "For all of our sakes I hope Bats never finds out about this. If he ever learns that I replaced a still born with a grandson of his from a different destruction timeline… You know what, I am not nearly drunk enough for any of this mate!"

Clockwork chuckled, his eyes glinting with unhidden amusement. "Well John Constantine, would you like a word of advice?"

The JLD member took another long drag of his cigarette before flicking the butt of it somewhere to the side. "No riddle."

"When 17 turns to 4 it is not the grandfathers, you should fear."

"I said no riddles!" Constantine huffed as clockwork disappeared from his side. He brushed his hair with one hand, glaring at the spot where the Ancient of Time had been. He should have never agreed to help that damned being 15 years ago, having been somewhat of a beginner then John did not realize what kind of deal he had agreed on.

Now he wasn't sure if he should be relieved or fearful of the consequences. Especially now that he had worked with the Bat Family a couple of times already.

Exactly one year later Constantine decided he was fucking fearful!

Unknown to the Brite a lot of things can happen in three years. Like Parents turning on their child after accidentally learning about a truth. A teenager that was already hurt trying to salvage whatever peace he could.

—--

"Mom! Dad! I swear it's still me, Danny!"

"Give me back my baby boy you monster!"

—--

A governmental organisation committing mass genocide on an interdimensional species.

—--

"Ember, get out of here! Now!"

"Baby Pop! What about the others?!"

"Dan already released them! Get out of here! I will hold them off and keep them busy!"

—----

The interdimensional species try to convince said teenager fighting for them to forgo humanity.

—--

"Welp, this can't go on. No hunt is worth this much."

"Give it up already. The humans made their decision."

"They broke too many rules, it is time they suffer the consequences."

—--

A heavy conflicted ending with the teenager receding into its core and getting picked up by one of his papa from a different timeline.

—--

"What kind of crystal is that? It radiates a pretty strange but familiar energy."

"I wanna see! I wanna see!"

"If it's not dangerous, why not keep it?"

"It looks like there are snowflakes in it."

—--

The kid then reformed out of his core in his ghost age instead of human age with a green note appearing on his forehead. Said note confusing the kids papa making him contact the kids dad.

—--

"Tim you won't believe this…"

"Kon you sound weird, what is going on?"

"Remember that shiny crystal I picked up at the end of our last case?"

"The one with the snowflakes in it, yes."

"I think I just became a dad."

"WHAT?!"

—--

Which then led to the dad overanalyzing the note while the kid insisted that a certain ghost was involved. The child's grandparents then getting tipped off through the grandchild of the Ancient Constantine still curses in his mind.

—--

"So Pandora mentioned something to me."

"Hn."

"Have you tried asking Constantine about it? He is apparently in contact with a being that likes to write cryptic messages on green notes, or that's what Pandora told me at least."

"..."

"And your new grandchild came with such a note right?"

—--

And now John Constantine was fearing for his life, because Batman had tried to contact him several times now. Several times Constantine had found reasons to ignore. Only for the Bat to come knocking on his door -well more like rudely kicking it down- with fucking Super too! He was cursing up a storm internally and thinking of how best he could get out of whatever had crawled up the two hero's asses when right behind the two hero's stood another set of hero's he did not want to face especially when he noticed one of them holding a four years old toddler in his arms.

"Chronus you fucking asshole!" The Brite muttered to himself as the four hero's plus time baby stood before him demanding answers.

That was when the toddler piped up, eyes glowing a bright green. "So Clockwork does have something to do with this! I knew it!"

"Danny, sweetheart not now. You can tell us you were right after we figured out what timeline you are from and if we need to send you back or can keep you." Red Robin calmed the now pouting toddler Super Boy was holding and petting with a small chuckle. While Batman and Superman turned on Constantine.

#fictober23 #danny fenton #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #crossover #dcxdp #tim drake #conner kent #clone Danny #Tim is Danny's dad #Kon is his papa #Clockwork took danny from his original timeline #and placed him in his favorite to save it #Danny was born in a doomed timeline #one were Tim went a little to far over the edge #Constantine helped Clockwork bringing Danny into his timeline #He fears Batman and Superman because of that #He should probably fear Tim more #Tim and Conner are protective parents #they want to keep Danny #But they had to make sure he can stay safely in their timeline #they would have found a way to keep him anyway #even if clockwork didn't ensure it in the first place