#kagehina big bang 2022

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 1

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: T; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Natsu Hinata, Mama Hinata, Ittetsu Takeda, brief cameos from Yamaguchi and Tsukishima

Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: It‘s an easy trade for Shoyo Hinata, if a little strange: a year living with a talking wolf in exchange for the plants that would save his sister’s life. He expects a new home and friend. What he finds is a cursed heir, a vengeful sorcerer, an act of betrayal, and a dangerous quest. But the most surprising discovery of all? The love of his life.

A/N: Written for the @kagehinabigbang! Special thanks to my beta, Lin, and my artist, Fish!! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

He was in the woods of his childhood, surrounded by papery birch trees with thin moss creeping over their roots. The dirt beneath his feet smelled and felt familiar, as did his father’s old hunting bow; the flexible bamboo was smooth in his hands as he crept along the forest floor.

He couldn’t remember why he was there. He never could. But then, like always, he saw a familiar silhouette flitting between the trees ahead of him, dashing across the path like a ghost, with a swiftness that contrasted the sound of sturdy steps. Shoyo didn’t focus on that. The relief he felt at recognizing those steps overwhelmed anything else he noticed.

“Dad?” he whispered, never yelled—that was the single best way to cut a hunting trip short, and if he was holding his father’s bow, then surely he was hunting. They were both hunting. “Dad, wait up!”

His body instinctively fell into a stance that allowed him to move through the underbrush in silence, chasing the black form like a shadow. “Dad!” His father didn’t stop. Why wouldn’t he stop?

The sturdy steps eventually fell quiet, and he approached the shape from behind, straightening out of his hunting stance to hold out the bow. “Dad, you forgot this! Why’d you—?”

In a flash of motion, the silhouette turned and pinned him under a dark, piercing gaze, freezing him in place. In a flash of clarity, he realized the figure he’d been chasing wasn’t his father. It was some sort of creature, hazy in form except for those sharp eyes. Suddenly, he was the hunted, not the hunter, unable to move as those eyes got closer…and closer…

“Hinata!”

Shoyo jolted awake just in time to receive a faceful of his yukata. “Spirits, what?” he grouched, pushing himself upright and blinking blearily.

“Wake up already! Takeda-sensei’s gonna be here soon.”

Shoyo finally found the speaker—his assailant, his mind supplied grumpily—and frowned at Yamaguchi as he dragged his fingers through his mussed ginger hair. “How are you up before me?”

“Dunno.” The effect of Yamaguchi’s casual shrug was ruined by his smug smile, though it quickly melted into a worried frown. “Were you having that dream again? You kept twitching around in your sleep.”

“I dunno how, but you made that sound perverted.” Oh, perfect, Tsukishima was already awake, too. Why were they both awake before sunrise?

“Gross, Tsukki! Don’t project your dirty mind onto me!”

“Oh? Thought you liked my ‘dirty mind’—”

“Okay!” Shoyo cried out, scrambling out of his blankets in a burst of panicked energy. “Okay, I’m up! Stop talking, Tsukishima!”

“Works like a charm,” Tsukishima sniffed with a satisfied grin, a sharp contrast to Yamaguchi’s beet-red face.

There was a certain routine to returning to the Kageyama clan’s domain after escorting the daimyo from his year-long pilgrimage in Edo. Usually the samurai were given a few days to get settled back in, filling their time with cleaning, unpacking, spoiling their horses, and, in Yamaguchi’s case, recultivating gardens. In between chores were the usual training, Shoyo’s favorite part, and studying, his least favorite part.

But this time, he didn’t have a few days. He only had two, and those days felt like they’d gone in a blink, leaving him a little frantic as he finished packing the last few things. He’d just finished saddling up his horse when he heard a hesitant, “Pardon the intrusion.”

“Oh! Morning, sensei!” Shoyo bent into a deep bow as the healer of the daimyo, Ittetsu Takeda, carefully brought his horse to stand next to Shoyo’s.

Takeda took one look at his face before bursting into laughter. “Oh no, Shoyo-kun,” he laughed, “did the homecoming chores take all your time?”

“Yeah,” Shoyo sighed, swinging himself into his saddle. “I only got to spar a little with Yamaguchi.”

“Well, we’ll just have to make sure this visit is worth you missing out on training.”

The glint in Takeda’s eye made Shoyo straighten with a small grin and a determined set to his brows. “It’ll be worth it. It always is.”

The healer shot him a knowing, fond grin, before nudging his horse and riding off.

The sky was still a gauzy purple as they left the palace grounds. The journey to the outskirts of the domain’s capital could take an entire day on an efficient trip, with an overnight stop sometimes being required partway through. If Shoyo had been riding with anyone else, anyone on their first journey, he was sure the trip would’ve taken well over a day.

But he was traveling with Takeda, who had made the same trip back and forth countless times. With their combined experience, they arrived at their destination as the late afternoon sun fell lower in the sky.

They dismounted at the opening in a barrier of wood surrounding a sprawling yard with a house at the center. It looked large, though it served as a healer’s clinic as much as a home. Only a few yards separated the property from the thick cluster of trees that was the forest nearby. The shadowy branches and hidden paths looked intimidating, but it was also a perfect place to hunt and a prime hiding spot for a game of hide and seek.

“Hinata-kun?”

Shoyo jolted and looked over at Takeda, who was watching him with a gentle smile. It was only then that he realized his eyes had started stinging with tears. “Ah…sorry,” he murmured, rubbing a firm hand over his eyes. “It’s just…”

“It’s your home. Anyone would be excited to return, especially after a year.”

Gratitude warmed Shoyo’s chest and spread into a smile. “Yeah…I am.”

Home. He was home.

The familiarity of tying his horse just inside the barrier, making sure it had some food and water, and walking up the path to the house helped ease the nostalgic lump in Shoyo’s throat, and by the time he and Takeda were standing on the engawa, he had an eager grin tugging at his lips.

“Hinata-chan!” Takeda called, gently knocking at the wooden frame. “It’s Takeda!”

Shoyo could hear familiar footsteps hurrying through the house, before the front shoji screen slid open. “Ah, welcome Take— Shoyo!”

Takeda was momentarily forgotten as Shoyo’s mother wrapped her son in a warm hug. Shoyo could only laugh and move with her rocks back and forth. “Hi, Mom.”

“How are you here? When did you return from Edo? And Take-kun, you sneak! You didn’t tell me you’d be bringing Shoyo!”

“I’m sorry!” Takeda laughed, raising his hands in a gesture of innocence. “I wasn’t sure he’d be able to come, so I didn’t want to get your hopes up. But here he is!”

“Here he is,” Shoyo’s mother echoed softly, gazing at her son with adoration. Her dark hair was swept back in a bun, with a few strands falling loose around her ears and face. Even though he was used to seeing her a bit weary—it was practically a requirement of being a healer, especially the best healer in the domain’s capital—and even though she was glowing with happy surprise, Shoyo noticed the dark circles around her warm eyes and the sharper lines of her face. But before he could ask her anything, she was pulling away with a kiss to his forehead. “Well, come in, come in, you need to eat after your long journey.”

“Ah, I thought we might discuss the patient you’d written to me about—”

“Nonsense, Take-kun. A year in Edo hasn’t changed what Shoyo looks like when he’s hungry.”

Shoyo flushed to the sound of both mother and family friend laughing. “Well, then…thank you, Hinata-chan.”

Shoyo waited to follow Takeda into the house, falling back on his training despite being at his childhood home. But no amount of protocol could keep him from relaxing with a smile as he breathed in the familiar scent and took in the familiar view of his home.

By far the worst part of the mandated year-long stays in Edo was the distance from his family. He didn’t live with them, and his duties as a samurai kept him from visiting more than a few times a month. But his mother was stubborn about living at the outskirts of the capital, where she would be more accessible to the general populace, instead of in the fancier properties offered to the families of samurai.

Shoyo didn’t mind—he was as proud of his mother’s work as a healer as he was of his late father’s work as a samurai, and the fact she was able to live where she wanted spoke volumes to both her skill as a healer and the respect and love in her marriage.

There was just one thing missing, something that pricked at Shoyo through lunch and distracted him from Takeda and his mother catching up. It didn’t take long for his mother to notice his distraction. “Shoyo? Is everything alright?”

“Ah! Yeah, sorry, just…where’s Natsu?” Usually his little sister would’ve leapt into his arms the moment she heard their mother say his name, clinging to him like a monkey to a tree. It was how she always greeted him, even as a teenager, a routine so familiar that their mother had started calling her “little monkey.” It felt wrong, stepping into the house without having to wrestle her back to the ground.

Shoyo wasn’t sure what he expected his mother’s answer to be. Maybe Natsu was still out hunting, or was gathering some herbs, or back in town to pick up some supplies. Whatever Shoyo expected, it certainly wasn’t the sight of his mother’s face growing pale. “…Mom?”

“Natsu is…” She set her chopsticks down with a care that made Shoyo’s begin to shake in his hand. “She’s sleeping. She…she hasn’t been well.”

Dread spread cold through Shoyo. “Natsu hates naps.”

“She does. But lately, she hasn’t been able to get through the day without the extra rest, and when she is up, she can barely make it out of the house.” As Shoyo’s mother spoke, her focus moved from Shoyo to Takeda, turning his dread to ice as understanding began to set in. “She’s always out of breath and she tells me that it feels like her chest is stretched too tight and won’t let her fill it with enough air. Any time she tries—”

“—she ends up coughing so hard and for so long, you worry she might draw blood,” Takeda finished with a grave look, confirming Shoyo���s nervous suspicions. “She’s the patient you wrote to me about.”

Her lips quivered around a choked-back sob as she nodded. It took a deep, steadying breath for her to speak again. “Nothing I’ve tried has worked. I was…I was hoping you may have heard something in Edo that could help. I know it’s a long shot, and I’m sorry you had to make the trip, but—”

“Nonsense, don’t apologize,” Takeda gently interrupted. “The trip is nothing, especially if it’s to help your family.”

This time, she couldn’t stop a sob from escaping her as she clutched at one of Takeda’s hands with both of hers. “Thank you, Takeda. Thank you so much.”

“Of course. After lunch, may I see her? Checking her condition in person would help greatly, and, well…” A small, rueful smile curved Takeda’s lips. “I’d like to say hello.”

Shoyo’s mother offered a wavering smile, before spooning more meat into Takeda and Shoyo’s bowls.

The rest of lunch passed in a blur for Shoyo, lost in the news as his mother and Takeda’s quiet exchange of ideas faded into the background for him. Natsu—bright, happy, restless Natsu—being bedridden from sheer exhaustion…it didn’t feel real. It would probably continue to not feel real until he saw her for himself, but that just made him feel a sense of foreboding that weighed heavier and heavier as their bowls emptied and were eventually cleared from the table.

It was strange, seeing his mother leave the dirty dishes in the kitchen wash basin instead of cleaning them immediately. It added another detail to the picture of suppressed anxiety that was becoming clearer to him now that he knew Natsu was sick. He didn’t say anything when he saw her pause to lean on the basin with a white-knuckled grip, just hooked his arm through hers and rested his head on her shoulder.

The close proximity let him feel the shuddering breath she took before pressing a kiss to his hair and patting his cheek. “C’mon,” she whispered, untangling their arms and giving his hand a squeeze, “let me take you to her. She’ll be so excited to see you.”

The familiar walk to the room he and Natsu used to share felt off-center, thrown off-balance by the rock of dread settled in his stomach. He had to take a moment to steady his own breath before he slid the shoji screen open and let himself and Takeda inside.

There, curled up in a futon under a worn scrap of fabric he recognized as her old safety blanket, was Natsu. Her bright hair was the only part of her that was visible, peeking out from under her blanket. The sight brought a smile to Shoyo’s lips—she could argue endlessly that she wasn’t “little” anymore, but that would never stop her from being his baby sister.

“Go ahead,” Takeda murmured behind him with a pat on the shoulder. “Say hi.”

“Thanks, sensei.” Shoyo crept carefully across the tatami mats until he could crouch by the futon and lean over the shock of ginger hair. “Hey, Natchan.”

“Mm…” Natsu turned away, her face poking out from the blanket to better burrow into her pillow, as if she could physically block out Shoyo’s voice.

“Natsuuuuuu.”

“Hnnng, whaaaat?” she whined, finally turning back towards him and slowly blinking open her eyes. Annoyance was etched across her sleepy features, probably out of muscle memory more than anything—Shoyo had always had the unique displeasure of waking up Natsu when he still lived at home.

He waited patiently for her mind to catch up with her eyes. Sure enough, after an extra few beats, her eyes widened and she shot upright with a gasped, “Nii-chan!”

She lunged forward and wrapped her arms right around his shoulders, which were shaking from his laughter. “Hey, woah, careful,” he warned her, bracing himself on one hand to keep them from tumbling to the floor.

“What’re you doing here?” Shoyo could already hear the threat of a cough under her words, and he smoothed his hand up and down her back in a silent reminder to calm down. It worked, but not without a few choked-back coughs.

He shoved aside the worry pricking at him to focus on the joy of their reunion. “Oh, I’m here to arrest you.”

“No, you’re not!”

“I am, for the crime of not writing enough letters.”

“Nii-chaaaaan,” Natsu whined, burying her face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I really did try to write more this time.”

“Uh-huh, sure you did.”

“Don’t be mean to me!” she grouched, pulling away to pout at him, “I’m—!”

Her words choked off as panic fell over her face, before her eyes fell on Takeda hovering behind Shoyo and dread replaced her panic. “Oh. Hi, Takeda-sensei.”

“Hey, don’t sound so sad to see him,” Shoyo scolded quietly.

“It’s alright,” Takeda said with a soft laugh, “I think she knows why I’m here. I’d ask you how you’ve been, Natsu-chan, but your mother already told us.”

“Yeah…” Natsu’s eyes flickered from Takeda to Shoyo and back again. “Is…is that why you’re here, Nii-chan?”

“I’m here because sensei said he was visiting, and I wanted to come see you and mom. That’s all.”

Natsu stared hard at him, clearly looking for something in his expression, and he stared back, letting his face be as open and honest as he could without betraying his worry. Eventually she sighed and nodded, wilting in his arms to rest her head on his shoulder. It reminded Shoyo so much of the times she fell asleep on his shoulder in the middle of housework when they were much younger.

That, more than hearing the news from their mother nor seeing how pale and weak she looked now, made her illness fully sink in for him. His eyes stung as he hugged her close, noting the sharper lines of her bones bumping his fingers even through her yukata.

“Shoyo-kun.”

The soft call of his name jerked him out of his growing despair. “Yes, sensei?”

“I’m sorry to cut your greetings short, but may I have a moment to check over Natsu? The sooner I do so, the sooner I’ll have answers for all of you.”

“Oh! Yeah, of course.” He gently peeled Natsu away, his heart squeezing at the realization that she really had nearly nodded off on him. “Is that okay, Natchan?”

There was no mistaking the reluctance in her eyes, but she still nodded. Shoyo offered her a reassuring smile, waiting for her to return it with a weak smile of her own, before he pinched her nose and stood up. “Cheer up, monkey. Sensei and Mom will figure out what’s going on, and then we’ll get you good as new.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Stop trying to climb me like a tree.”

“There’s not much for me to climb anymore.”

Shoyo gaped at Natsu in mock-offense, relief spreading warm through him at the sight of her teasing smile. His relief didn’t stop him from giving her a little shove, sending her sprawling back against her futon with an indignant squawk. “You jerk!!”

“Begoodforsenseibyyyyye!” He slid the door shut behind him to the sound of Natsu shouting, “Mooooom!!” and Takeda laughing, and was met by their exasperated mother.

“Your sister is bedridden from illness, and you still can’t stop tormenting her?”

“Nah. She wouldn’t want me to.”

The bemused exasperation on his mother’s face melted into understanding and fondness as she wrapped a warm arm around his shoulders and tucked him into her side. “…We really have missed you, Shoyo.”

“I missed you guys, too.” His arm settled around her waist, and he bent enough to rest his head on her shoulder. It was still comforting, even with the larger height difference between them. “Can I help you with anything while sensei works?”

“Yes, actually.” His mother sounded exhausted, yet another sign of the physical toll Natsu’s illness had on her. “There’s some cleaning that I could use an extra set of hands for.”

Worry pricked at Shoyo again, but he hid it with a comforting smile. “Just tell me what to do.”

He’d been eager to help because he knew his mother needed it, of course, but he would’ve been lying to himself if he pretended he didn’t also crave the distraction and familiarity of his old chores. So when he helped with washing the dishes and sweeping the floors and sorting through the medicine stores, and still found his mind wandering back to the quiet bedroom, irritation began prickling through him along with his worry.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally burst out, accidentally startling his mother from where she was hanging bed sheets further down the line. “About Natsu?”

His mother watched him for a moment, before focusing back on securing the rest of the sheets. Only then did she turn back to him with a solemn, carefully blank expression that Shoyo recognized from all the times she needed to have a difficult conversation. “What could you have done, Shoyo? You were all the way in Edo. You couldn’t have left for something like this.”

“Soldiers have gone home for ill family members before! The daimyo himself has given permission!” Never mind that those permissions were typically given to soldiers with ill children or parents to take care of.

“Don’t. You know Natsu would never want you to neglect your work on her behalf.”

“But Mom—”

“Ah, excuse me.”

Mother and son whirled towards the house to see Takeda standing on the engawa with an embarrassed grimace. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but ah…I’m done with the examination.”

“Oh! Oh, wonderful.” Their conversation was forgotten in their urgency to get back inside and gather around the small table.

Takeda was a brilliant healer, and an incredibly kind-hearted one as well. But Shoyo had grown up learning, from his many visits to the family, that he was terrible at hiding his true feelings. Good news was preceded by a badly-suppressed smile, bad news was preceded by a crease in his brows, and news that he was nervous to deliver was preceded by restless hands.

His hands were restless now.

Shoyo noticed his mother’s eyes flickering down to those fiddling fingers before she asked, “Well…what are your thoughts?”

“Ah, yes, um…I had my suspicions from the symptoms you’d written to me about, but seeing her in person has confirmed them.” He took a slow, deep breath before he continued. “I couldn’t find much information on it, even in Edo. They call it the Crimson Breath, because the coughs it causes sometimes draws blood. It’s a very rare disease; that’s why not much is known about it, apart from the symptoms and a treatment that seems to have been able to consistently cure the few recorded patients who have had it.”

Shoyo’s heart leapt in his chest, and hope kept it pumping quickly as Takeda went on, “The treatment comes from the yamakumo flower. She’ll need a special tea from the flowers, and the leaves need to be burned for her to breathe in their vapor. Recovery will be long and slow, but in time she should be back in good health.”

Hope and relief shone from Shoyo’s mother’s eyes. “She…she can recover from this? Truly?”

“Well…yes…”

Her smile faded the longer she looked at Takeda. “You don’t…sound like you’re giving us good news.”

“Hinata-chan, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, but the yamakumo flower is almost impossible to harvest, much less in the quantities Natsu would need. I could see how much is in the palace’s stores, but I fear not even the daimyo has enough.”

With that, Shoyo’s mother’s face crumpled back into despair. The sight of her hope being snatched away so quickly made desperation spark through Shoyo. “Why is it impossible to harvest?” he asked, struggling to keep his tone respectful instead of demanding. “Where does it grow?”

“It’s not just ‘where‘…it’s ‘when’ as well. The yamakumo flower grows at the tops of the hills and mountains surrounding the province, and blooms in the coldest winter months. The trek would already be perilous for a human, but with the snow…well, there are only two people who are known to have survived the journey. The rest…they never returned.”

“‘For a human’?” Shoyo repeated.

“Well, I imagine wolves and mountain goats and the like could make the journey, since they are built for that environment. But they wouldn’t be much help in harvesting.”

“No…no, they wouldn’t.” Shoyo fell silent as he thought over the information. There must be something, anything… Nothing came to him, except trying to become the third person to survive the journey. Even as he thought it, Shoyo knew it was impossible. But the alternative was to just…do nothing, and that felt even more impossible for him.

He fell silent as he turned this information over, not realizing how suspicious his silence was until his mother murmured, “Shoyo…Shoyo, don’t even think about it.”

Her low voice jolted him out of his thoughts, leaving him wide-eyed as he stared at her. “What?”

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m not— I wasn’t—” He floundered under her unimpressed stare, unable to string together proper sentences.

His stammering made her heave a sigh, before she got to her feet and made her way outside. “Come with me.”

Shoyo’s instinct was to resist, to insist that they stay in the house to have this conversation, just to push back somehow. But it was useless when he knew why she wanted to talk outside. Natsu was already going to be feeling needlessly guilty over Shoyo coming home and seeing her this sick. He couldn’t imagine what it would do to her, to hear him and their mother argue over whether or not he should be allowed to risk his life for her.

So he shoved himself to his feet and marched outside, brushing past his mother to stand with his back to the house.

“Shoyo, there’s no way in all the heavens that I’m letting you attempt that trek. You heard what Takeda said. All but two people have died trying to get yamakumo flowers. I refuse to let you join those numbers.”

His nails bit into his palms. “Dad would’ve wanted to go.”

“Then I would’ve lost him to the mountains instead of the sea, and Natsu would be no closer to recovering!” Firm hands fell on his shoulders, and he let them turn him around to face his mother. His heart twisted at the sight of tears filling her eyes. “If you want to do something more directly, then you can visit home a little more often and help me take care of her and the house. Just…just not this. Anything but this.”

“Mom—”

“I will not trade one child for another.” Her firm voice made Shoyo’s words freeze in his throat. “You cannot ask that of me. I will do everything I can to help her, but I will not offer you up in exchange.”

“I didn’t…Mom, I would never ask you to…”

Her gaze softened at his wide eyes and guilty words, and she brought a gentle hand up to his cheek, her thumb tracing soft curves into his skin. “I know, love. I know. You want to take care of us, just like your father did. But he couldn’t make miracles happen, and neither can you. No one can.” A small, shaky smile pulled at her lips, and the sight made Shoyo wilt even more into her gentle hand. “You already do so much, and you’ve made us so proud. You don’t need to risk your life to prove something we already know.”

They stood there for a moment in a tense, solemn silence, before she sighed, “Well…we shouldn’t leave Takeda by himself for too long.” She began to move towards the house, not realizing that Shoyo wasn’t following her until she’d already reached the porch. “...Sweetheart?”

“I, um…I was thinking I could stay out here…maybe go hunting? Do you need any meat or skins?”

His mother’s concern softened into understanding. “Not ‘need,’ no. But why don’t you go see what you can find and surprise us?”

Relief nearly overwhelmed Shoyo—he was dreading going back inside and having to pin back his anger and grief into something gentler, softer, less likely to be caught by Natsu. At least now, he could use hunting as a way to work his anxieties into something softer, instead of holding them back at full force.

Even just the familiar act of finding his father’s bow and quiver, replacing the bow’s string and getting the old bamboo and wood to bend smoothly again, let his racing heart slow. By the time he left the yard and ventured into the woods, he had relaxed completely into his well-worn hunting state of mind.

It had been a while since he’d last hunted, especially with his father’s old bow, but he found himself falling back into old patterns. His muscles instinctively worked to let him be silent as he moved through the underbrush, and his ears only needed a few minutes to sharpen and hear every rustle, every chitter in this part of the forest.

What he heard now were the light steps of a deer, most likely a male judging by its weight. Perfect.

As he moved, he could see the faint moving outline of the deer, serving as a guide as he waited for the perfect opportunity to shoot it. He could have shot it while it was moving but he always preferred waiting for it to drink or eat. If it stood still, he would be able to land a perfect shot, killing it quickly and as painlessly as possible.

Then he heard something else, something that made his skin prickle: an extra set of footsteps, seemingly tracking the deer. They were heavy, assured, and measured, unlike any steps he’d heard before. Was there a new predator in the forest? After just a year away? That shouldn’t have been possible, but it was more possible than his ears fooling him.

Relax. Focus. He could aim and shoot quickly, if his mysterious pursuer decided to spring on him. For now, he just wanted to shoot this deer and get it home.

He got his chance soon. There was a small clearing between trees where the deer was able to reach some soft grass and underbrush. Shoyo slowed his breathing as he carefully, painstakingly drew and aimed an arrow at what he knew would be the weakest point in the deer’s skull. Death would be instant, painless, as easy as he could make it.

Breathe in, 2, 3…breathe out, 2, 3…now.

The arrow zipped through the bushes, giving the deer barely enough time to flinch at the moving air before Shoyo’s target was struck, followed quickly by another arrow through the neck for good measure. Perfect.

He slung the bow back in favor of a small dagger, ready to carve the arrows out if they were lodged too firmly. But when he kneeled by the body and grasped each arrow, proud relief filled him from how easily they slid out.

He tried to work quickly, cleaning and putting away the arrows before tying the deer up for him to carry home. And then, just as he finished tying the last knot, he became aware of those unfamiliar steps again, this time coming closer…and closer…

By the time his pursuer emerged from the underbrush, Shoyo was already on his feet with an arrow nocked. But no amount of preparation would have stopped the stab of fear in his chest: it was a wolf. A large, black wolf, with deep blue eyes, thick fur, huge paws, and sharp teeth…teeth that were currently bared at him.

If he were facing any other animal, something that he’d ever seen before, he would have loosed the arrow the moment he laid eyes on the creature. But this…this massive black shape with a piercing gaze…suddenly Shoyo was flung back to the dream that had been haunting him for months, maybe even more than a year at this point. Fear, confusion, and panic clashed within him, making his muscles freeze up and the arrow shake on the bowstring.

His hesitation should have been the death of him. Instead, something strange happened: the wolf calmed down, even though Shoyo’s arrow was still aimed at it. It sat, fur flattening and ears perking back up, with its tail held close to its sturdy paws. It almost looked…polite. Which was ridiculous, because this was a wild animal, not one of the army’s trained dogs, so why—

“I can help.”

Silence fell over the clearing, man staring down wolf…a wolf who just spoke. If its behavior had been ridiculous before, now it was just wholly impossible. And yet—perhaps because of how utterly dumbfounded he felt—Shoyo numbly asked, “...What?”

The wolf raised its chin, somehow managing to look down its snout at Shoyo despite sitting lower than him, and repeated in a low voice:

“I can help. You need the yamakumo flower. I can get it for you.”

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[akaashism]

Hello... Do you mind if I ask your top favorite fanfics that you've written? Why are they're special to you? Do you have specific inspiration when you wrote them? Thanks if you want to answer.....

So when I got this ask, I told myself that I would only pick 3 fics no matter what. If I went beyond that, we would be here all day, but picking 3 out of 60 made the task very hard as well 😭 They're all my babies tbh.

But even then, these are a bit more special.

Lucky Again: Written for my first fanfiction event (Kagehina Big Bang 2022) that I was so excited for, and believe me, I put my entire heart and soul into this fic. No other writing experience will ever compare to this one and I will always be extremely proud of this fic ❤️ I've always loved exes to lovers as a trope and I was itching to write it for kagehina, so that's how this fic was born :')

religion's in your lips (even if it's a false god): Another fic I am very proud of, particularly of my writing in it. It was stupidly difficult to write this because of the ambiguous/toxic relationship theme, but it was a passion project for me, I simply needed to put it out into the world. I go back to reread it all the time and I love it a lot. My main inspiration for it was that Oikawa is always the indifferent, detached one in oikage fics and I wanted to reverse their roles and make Kageyama like that, while Oikawa yearned for something more from him. I hope I did a good job portraying the vision :))

gold rush: Merthur is the ship I've written the most number of fics for so choosing only one out of them made my hands shake violently. There are so many merthur fics that meant the world to me when I wrote them, but now, years later, when I look back, this is the fic that I find myself revisiting the most. I can't tell you the reason why. The inspiration for this was being totally gone for the idea of Merlin's magic being in love with Arthur ❤️

getting it right: Also a shout-out to this fic which is not only my longest work on ao3, but the fic that completely sucked me into kagehina, never to escape. Writing this was some of the most fun time of my life and I love rereading it too 🥰

Thank you for such a wonderful ask!! ❤️❤️

#ask response #kagehina #oikage #haikyuu!! #merthur #bbc merlin #fanfiction #ao3

[r0mantic-era]

Chasing the Sun

KageHina Big Bang 2022

Rated E, 26.7k words

Haikyuu!! Pokémon AU!

Summary:

Once, years ago, Tobio journeyed through Kanto. He collected eight gym badges. He climbed Victory Road to the Indigo Plateau. Constantly moving, constantly running. He even defeated the Kanto Champion.

At twenty-two, former pokémon prodigy Kageyama Tobio's life is nothing like he imagined it would be. After several failed careers, he's resigned himself to living in his tiny hometown and working a monotonous, dead-end job after peaking (crashing and burning) at age fourteen. In short, while all his childhood friends have moved on with their lives, Tobio is...stuck.

This year, however, Hinata comes home for the holidays.

#haikyuu!! #kagehina #shobio #shoyo hinata #tobio kageyama #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #haikyu!! #hq!! #haikyuu #haikyu #fics #fanfics #kagehina fics #kagehina fanfics #kagehina fic #kagehina fanfic #shobio fics #shobio fanfics #shobio fanfic #shobio fic #haikyuu fics #haikyuu fanfics #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fanfic #hq fics #lin's hq fics

[ao3feed-iwaoi]

At the End of the Sun

Read this masterpiece on AO3 at https://ift.tt/cSGzEqQ

by pearl_scribbles

It‘s an easy trade for Shoyo Hinata, if a little strange: a year living with a talking wolf in exchange for the plants that would save his sister’s life.

He expects a new home and friend. What he finds is a cursed heir, a vengeful sorcerer, an act of betrayal, and a dangerous quest.

But the most surprising discovery of all? The love of his life.

Written for the Kagehina Big Bang 2022!!

Words: 10366, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Haikyuu!!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Hinata Shouyou, Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou's Family, Hinata Natsu, Hinata Shouyou's Mother, Kageyama Miwa, Oikawa Tooru, Background & Cameo Characters, Kageyama Kazuyo, Iwaizumi Hajime, Takeda Ittetsu

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Natsu & Hinata Shouyou, Hinata Shouyou & Hinata Shouyou's Mother, Hinata Shouyou & Hinata Shouyou's Family, Kageyama Miwa & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Miwa, Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Additional Tags: East of the Sun and West of the Moon Elements, Inspired by Eros and Psyche (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Edo Period, Historical Fantasy, Past Character Death, Illnesses, Fairy Tale Curses, Wolf Kageyama Tobio, Shapeshifting, Samurai Hinata Shouyou, Hinata Shouyou is a Good Brother, Falling In Love, Explicit Sexual Content, Romance, Slow Burn

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/cSGzEqQ

#iwaoi #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #ao3feed-iwaoi #haikyuu!!

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 11: The Storm

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 5,814; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: A sudden snowstorm forces Shoyo and the shadow to better appreciate their time together.  

A/N: Another steamy chapter! Proceed with caution! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Everything seemed softer in the winter, as if to balance the sharp, bitter cold. The thick blanket of snow that covered everything dulled the noises of the surrounding woods, which were already quiet in the absence of the animals tucked away in hibernation. Some mornings, Shoyo woke up to the soft chirps of passing birds, slipping into his room where the sunlight couldn’t. Other mornings, he woke up to a thick silence that didn’t unnerve him anymore, just made him want to linger in his warm blankets before facing the brisk cold.

So when he woke up one morning to the sound of howling winds, he felt panic before anything else, pumping through his body and pushing him to his feet. He stumbled to the genkan and wrestled the shoji screen open to a scene that made his stomach drop.

Snow was falling, but it was getting swept up in the wind, swirling through the air until Shoyo could barely see anything but white. The deafening clatter of the storm panels jolted him out of his shock, pushing him to wrestle them into place and fasten them. By the time all of the panels were secured, his fingers were frozen stiff, but the sound of the roaring wind was finally muffled behind the thick wood.

The relief of the cover from the storm was quickly washed away by a new worry: the wolf. If the storm was this bad at the bottom of the mountains, he couldn’t imagine what it was like higher up. Worst of all, if the wolf wasn’t able to make it back before nightfall, then he’d be trapped out as a human, without any cover, any coats, nothing. If that happened, there was every chance that he would die out there.

Shoyo had to find him. It was either that, or stay hunkered in the house not knowing if the wolf was dead or alive. The thought of sitting useless indoors made bile rise in Shoyo’s throat as he changed into his thickest, warmest clothes and braced himself to face the storm.

He had made his choice. He forgot that the storm had a choice as well.

The moment he unfastened the panel in front of the engawa, Shoyo was flung back by the strongest gust of wind he’d encountered. No amount of pushing against it, bracing against the other panels, nor running at it made a difference. It was like a wall of wind and snow, forcing him to re-secure the panel or risk freezing on the threshold.

“Fuck,” he breathed, voice watery from rising tears. His frozen fingers clumsily grabbed at his hair as he stumbled around the room. “Fuck!”

There was nothing he could do. He was just as stranded from the wolf as the wolf was from their home. He had no choice but to simply…wait.

Just as he’d feared, night fell with no sign of the wolf. He slept fitfully, feeling the shadow’s absence like a chasm next to him. Every time he jerked awake to find himself still alone, he could feel a part of himself wither with hopelessness.

Night turned into day. One day turned into two. And still there was no sign of the wolf.

“Please,” Shoyo whispered, staring into the glowing coals of the fire pit. He didn’t know who he was begging. Anyone. Everyone. No one. “Please let him come back. I can’t lose him and Natsu, I can’t—” His voice caught on the lump in his throat, but he kept speaking through it. “Just bring him back, bring him home, let him be safe, please.” He could only hear his own low words because the wind outside had died down, though it still battered at the storm panels and whistled through any cracks it found.

That’s when he heard it: a thud, unlike anything he’d heard since the storm started. This wasn’t the smack of a stray branch hitting the storm panels, nor the clacking of the storm panels knocking against each other. This was heavy, solid, made Shoyo think of the occasions when one of his fellow samurai passed out, collapsing in a single drop.

He shot to his feet, dizzy with hope as he stumbled to the genkan. The shoji screen slid open with a bang, and he nearly tore the front storm panel down in his urgency to swing it aside.

He didn’t care about any damages he created—he’d be the one fixing them, anyway. He only cared about the heap of black fur sprawled across the steps to the porch, the swath of darkness broken only by a familiar woven bag.

“Okami-san!” he gasped, slipping over the snow-slicked wood in his socks and getting covered by the flurries. None of it mattered, not when he had a wolf at the edge of death that he needed to get inside.

With a strength that he hadn’t needed in months, he shrugged the wolf’s limp body over a shoulder and carried him back into the house. His muscles were trembling once he reached the fire pit, but he ignored his discomfort in favor of making sure he lowered the wolf gently to the mats.

By the time he got the storm panels and doors closed again, the wolf’s coat of snow had melted, leaving his fur cold and damp. Shoyo didn’t stop moving, couldn’t stop moving, bustled around the house for a towel and blanket and food and water, untied the bag from around the wolf’s body, dried his fur as well as he could and wrapped him in the spare comforter, stoked the glowing coals into a proper fire, set the food and water nearby to keep them warm.

The wolf didn’t so much as twitch an ear the entire time. When Shoyo finally slumped to the floor next to him, he had to hold his hand near his nose to make sure he was even breathing, his stomach unclenching at the feeling of warm air brushing his fingertips.

He was alive. Somehow, by some miracle, the wolf had dragged himself back after two whole days trapped in the snow, including two nights as a human. It shouldn’t have been possible. Shoyo didn’t know how it was possible.

But he wasn’t interested in figuring out the how and why of the wolf’s survival. He was satisfied with carefully shifting the wolf’s head back into his lap and petting through his quickly-drying fur.

The longer Shoyo sat there, taking comfort from the wolf’s slow breaths beneath his fingertips, the more his body reminded him of the toll his worrying and bursts of adrenaline had had. Exhaustion weighed heavy on him, but he was loath to pull away, even to set the wolf’s head back on the mats.

So he didn’t. He just twisted his body so that he could rest his ear against the wolf’s chest while still cradling his head in his lap. The ache of his muscles was nothing compared to the comfort of the wolf’s slow, steady heartbeat, and within seconds, he fell into the first deep sleep he’d had in days.

He awoke with a gasp, blinking into the darkness with furrowed brows and a half-conscious confusion over when and where he was.

Then he became aware of the warm blankets over him, the linen yukata wrapped around his body, and the strong body he was curved into. “Shoyo.”

A ragged gasp ripped out of Shoyo. All at once, his sleepiness was replaced by bright, breathtaking relief. “Okami-san!” he cried, dragging his hands up a bare torso to cradle the shadow’s face. “You’re back! You’re awake, you’re back, you’re alive, I was so—I didn’t—please don’t leave me, please—”

The sharp line of his jaw was familiar to his fingers, and so was the hand closing around his wrist and the lips pressing to his palm. The brushed kiss finally broke Shoyo. His relieved babbles dissolved into sobs, sobs that he muffled in the shadow’s neck. He was here, he was real, he was wonderfully, beautifully warm and solid in his arms. The feeling of tears falling into his hair only made him cry harder.

“I didn’t think I’d make it,” he heard the shadow choke out. “It was so cold, I didn’t know I could feel so cold, and I couldn’t see anything. I don’t know how, but I knew the way home. All I cared about was getting back to you, Shoyo, you saved me, I would’ve given up out there, I still could’ve been finished by the house if you didn’t get me inside.”

“Are you hurt?” Shoyo abruptly asked through his tears. “I didn’t even check, I was too focused on warming you up. You shouldn’t have carried me here, did you eat—?”

“I’m okay,” the shadow breathed, pressing his face back into Shoyo’s hair. “I’m okay, just…just hold me.”

There was nothing Shoyo wanted more. He held the shadow even tighter, buried his nose into his neck, tried to be surrounded by him as much as possible. And yet…“More,” he mumbled into his leaping pulse, “I need to feel you more, Okami-san.”

Not sex, he wasn’t asking for sex. That was the furthest thing from his mind. He just wanted to press as much of his skin to the shadow’s as he could, wanted to feel every inch of him, soak in the feeling of him warm and alive and safe.

Somehow, maybe because he felt the same way, the shadow understood. The kisses he pressed to Shoyo’s hair were sweet, tender, and made love bloom warm like an ember in him. They were unhurried as they peeled off their clothes, more interested in keeping close than they were in being efficient.

Shoyo didn’t know how long it took for them to fully undress. What did it matter? Even an eternity would have felt worth it just to tightly hold and be held by the shadow. He felt warmer whilst naked under the covers than he would have in his thickest coat. They were holding each other so tightly that Shoyo wasn’t sure where he stopped and where the shadow began. It was perfect. He never wanted to let go.

The kisses that the shadow brushed to his cheeks, lips, neck, and shoulders didn’t excite Shoyo. They calmed him, helped him feel steady and comforted in a way that he could only hope the shadow felt beneath his own kisses.

“Spirits, I missed you.”

“Me, too,” Shoyo breathed.

“I missed you so much, it was like I couldn’t breathe.” Shoyo trembled under the ghostly kisses brushed beneath his ear. “I want to wrap myself in you, I want to wrap myself around you, I just…I want to be a part of you.”

For a moment, Shoyo could lay there, stunned and clinging to the shadow. “...It’s weird,” the shadow admitted after one too many beats of silence. “I just—”

“There’s a way.”

“Huh?”

Shoyo’s cheeks felt like they could catch on fire, but he pushed through, his determination to fulfill the shadow’s wishes easily overpowering any embarrassment he felt. “There’s a way for us to…to be like that. Maybe not just like that, but it could be the closest we get.”

“Show me,” the shadow pleaded, “show me how, Sho, anything.”

“I will,” Shoyo promised, heart squeezing at the nickname, “but not tonight. Tonight just…just hold me.”

“Always. I’m never letting go, I swear.”

☾

The storm lasted nearly a week. It wasn’t surprising to Shoyo that the next five days were infinitely easier than the first two now that he was waiting out the storm with the wolf at his side. It wasn’t surprising, but it was still…startling.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done,” he murmured as he sharpened his sword and knives, “if you hadn’t come back.”

The wolf roused from his doze to blink sleepy blue eyes at him. “Hm?”

“From the storm.” His hands shook, making his carving knife shriek unpleasantly over the whetstone.

“Hey.” He looked up from the glinting blade to see the wolf at his side, waiting for him to meet his eyes before nudging his nose against his cheek. “Quit thinking about that. I’m here, and we’re safe and together. That’s all that matters.”

Shoot nodded weakly, leaning into the wolf’s steady warmth. “…Are you going to go back?”

“For the flowers?” Another nod. “Yeah…when the storm stops and everything calms back down. It’ll only be blooming for another week or so, if the winds haven’t torn it up.”

Oh. In all his worry and relief over the wolf, Shoyo had forgotten to consider the state of the remaining flowers, even as he’d spread the gathered blossoms out to dry. “What…what happens if there isn’t any left?”

“Then your mother will do what she can with what we’ve got. It’s better than nothing.”

The thought of the wolf going back up the mountain made him almost dizzy with anxiety, but that was nothing compared to the knot his stomach tied into over the idea of not having enough of the yamakumo after everything.

So when he released the storm panels the next morning and found snowflakes fluttering almost lazily through the air, he felt his stomach ease while blood rushed too quickly through his head.

“It’s over,” the wolf murmured. “I’ll go back out tomorrow.”

Shoyo’s fingers instinctively sought out soft fur, and he was rewarded with the comforting weight of the wolf’s head leaning on his hip. “Do you…remember what I said I’d show you? The night you came back?”

The wolf went still beneath his fingers. “About…being part of each other?”

Shoyo hummed. “Can I show you tonight? Before you go?”

“Of course. What do you need?”

“The ointment.”

The wolf didn’t say anything else, just gave a delicate lick to Shoyo’s fingertips.

☾

When Shoyo laid naked beneath the blankets that night, he was trembling, but not from the cold. Anticipation coursed through him, keeping him restless and awake and able to hear the shadow slip in and set a cloth and the ointment jar down. When he slid into the futon, Shoyo was already turning to face him, and he heard him freeze with surprise for just a moment. “You’re awake.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“If…If you’re nervous, we don’t—”

“I couldn’t sleep because I’m excited,” Shoyo reassured him with a quiet laugh. “And…and a little nervous. But mostly excited.”

“Oh.” He felt the weight of the shadow relaxing into the futon. “Me, too.”

There was a beat of silence, of Shoyo listening to the shadow fidget around. They were about to do the most intimate thing they’d ever done together, and he was acting as nervous as he had the very first night Shoyo discovered him by his bed.

He loved him so much.

“Okami-san,” he whispered, shifting closer until he could feel his quick breaths against his cheek. “Kiss me.”

There was a small sound, almost a whimper, before broad hands cupped his cheeks and guided him into a sweet kiss.

Just as he’d hoped, the shadow immediately relaxed under his lips and hands, nerves giving in to the familiar push and pull of their tongues and teeth. It had the same effect on Shoyo—he moved in even closer, pressing their bodies flush against each other.

That was when he noticed it: a distinct lack of fabric brushing on and between his legs. And when he ran his hands down the expanse of the shadow’s lean, strong torso, he didn’t bump up against a waistband. No, his hands just kept sliding lower…and lower…

He only stopped when his exploration made a strangled groan escape the shadow. “Are you…are you naked?” he asked in stunned disbelief.

“Yeah. I thought—since you’ve been—I thought it’d make things easier for us.” His muscles tensed beneath Shoyo’s fingertips. “Is that…okay?”

“Yes,” Shoyo breathed.

The single word and his leg hooking over his hip was enough to make the threads of the shadow’s tension snap, overwhelmed with a pure desire that still made Shoyo glow under.

He easily surrendered to the shadow’s control, letting him press him back and fit himself between his spread legs. The thick blankets fell away from the shadow’s broad shoulders, exposing the two of them to the room’s still air, but Shoyo didn’t mind. He wasn’t cold. He was too busy arching into the hot kisses being brushed and sucked over his skin, and hungrily pressing as much of their bare skin together as he could.

If he wasn’t careful, he would be swept up in the shadow’s desire and give in to the frantic dance they always fell into, and he would be sending the wolf back up the mountain without granting his wish.

Thankfully, the shadow’s curiosity remembered for them. “Shoyo,” he whispered into his ear, brushing a worshipful hand down his body and carefully taking hold of him. “What’s the ointment for?”

More precome had accumulated at Shoyo’s tip than he’d thought, but there was no room for embarrassment, not with the way it smoothed the shadow’s hand into perfect slickness. It took everything in Shoyo to catch that slick, stroking hand and guide it down, down, down, to the soft, velvet heat between his legs and the puckered bud that waited there.

His skin warmed from the shadow’s gasp. “Sho…” The nickname was tremulous with hope and disbelief and worry.

“I want you,” he breathed, running his fingers up the back of the shadow’s neck to sink into his hair. “All of you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“I’ll show you what to do, and I know you’ll stop if I tell you to.” He blindly kissed the shadow, his lips landing on the line of his jaw. “Do you…do you not want to do this?” The question was scrubbed clean of any disappointment, though it threatened to sit bitter at the back of his tongue. This was something he’d been quietly hoping for, without any way to bring it up before. But none of that mattered if the shadow didn’t want it.

He was jerked out of his worries by the feeling of a cold finger pressing ever-so-gently, making his rim clench as though to catch the tip and drag it in. “I want this,” the shadow reassured him, his low voice buzzing with the edge of a growl, “I want you.”

A whimper fell from Shoyo’s lips before they were pressed hungrily to the shadow’s. He arched into him, instinctively trying to press as much of their bodies together, even as he listened to the shadow blindly fumble for the jar of ointment without pulling away. “What do I do?” he mumbled against his lips, “Shoyo, what do I do?”

“Cover your fingers with it.”

“How much?”

“As much as you can. They need to be slippery.”

Another small whine escaped the shadow’s throat, no doubt from understanding why his fingers had to be coated.

The sound of him scooping out ointment and following the instructions made Shoyo’s heart race. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done this—he hadn’t shared any of his firsts with the shadow.

But it would be the first time he felt love bloom alongside the burning need, like a blade going molten within flames. He could feel the shadow’s love and care in the time he took to thoroughly coat his fingers, and he almost couldn’t breathe from his own love and eagerness.

He’d never given everything, every part of his being, to anyone before. Maybe the thought should’ve scared him, but as he’d told the shadow, he’d never felt so sure, so certain of anything.

“Now what?” If Shoyo had heard the words less keenly, and knew the shadow’s voice less intimately, he might’ve missed the shake to his voice.

“Just start with one, and I’ll tell you when I’m ready for more.” He heard an audible swallow, and when he reached for the shadow, his hands came to rest on his heaving chest. “Hey. I’m a samurai. A little stretching won’t break me, I promise.”

There was a scoff and a quiet, “Dumbass,” but Shoyo could feel the heartbeat under his hands slow down, before the shadow caught one of his hands with his clean fingers and pressed a kiss to his palm. “Are you ready?” he whispered.

“I’ve been ready.”

“Okay…okay.” After a fortifying breath, Shoyo could hear nothing but soft rustling and softer breathing. “Okay,” the shadow suddenly repeated, “I’m…I’m going in.”

Shoyo bit at his lip to hold back his laughter, but that meant the wolf received silence as an answer. “Shoyo, are you ready?”

“Yes,” he somehow managed to answer steadily, “yes, I’m ready.”

A hand fell on the inside of Shoyo’s thigh, running calluses and warmth up to his hip. Shoyo didn’t realize it was serving to orient the shadow until he felt a slick touch at the base of his cock, then down to his balls, and then down even further, down to his hole, where slippery circles were being drawn. “Are you sure?”

“Please.” He didn’t know what he was begging for, but it worked: he heard a quiet groan, just before a thick finger began to slowly press in.

Shoyo tried to focus on relaxing instead of on the pain, wanting to make sure the shadow met with as little resistance as possible, but he couldn’t completely bite back a sigh when the finger bottomed out. It went still inside of him. “Shoyo?”

“You can move it,” he breathed, his words choking into a grunt when the shadow obeyed.

“Am I hurting you?”

“No! No, it just…feels a little weird at first. Keep going, please.”

The finger moved again, but this time, lips were drifting down his throat and sternum in the ghost of kisses, before sealing around one of his nipples. The suction was almost familiar at this point, but Shoyo still gasped, still arched into the wet heat, and he felt his body welcome the shadow’s finger more easily. “There you go,” the shadow murmured with a flick of his tongue to Shoyo’s nipple.

It didn’t take long for Shoyo to breathlessly plead for another finger, then a third. He tried, truly tried to stay still, but he couldn’t help letting his hips rock down to meet the shadow’s fingers. He’d forgotten how good it could feel to be filled up like this.

Then the shadow spread his fingers, and two of them rubbed right into—“Haaaaaah, oh, oh spirits—”

“Shoyo?”

“It’s good, it’s good,” he mindlessly reassured the shadow, “please don’t stop, ah!”

Those fingers searched around on every push, and soon Shoyo was crying out again. Once he had a target, the shadow was relentless, aiming precisely while picking up speed. Shoyo moaned on every thrust, and that encouraged the shadow to keep going, even sealing his lips back around his nipple.

Shoyo’s peak loomed on the horizon far too quickly, almost frightening in its size and intensity. He nearly choked on his own moans when he cried out, “Wait, stop, stop!!”

The shadow froze, right down to the fingers still in Shoyo. “What, what’s wrong?”

“Just…too much,” he gasped, wilting against the futon. “I almost…almost…”

“Already?” The shadow may have been a wolf during the day, but just then he sounded like a cat, practically purring his smug words into Shoyo’s skin. “I can keep going, get a win the first time we do this.”

The normal spike of annoyance and competition was nowhere to be felt. “No,” he breathed instead, “no, I want to feel you. I want to come with you, please.”

The shadow’s breath caught, before he was kissing Shoyo and carefully sliding his fingers out. “Are you ready for me?” he murmured.

Shoyo could hear him slicking on more ointment, and he was ready to crawl out his skin from how badly he needed the shadow. “Take me, Okami-san.”

The shadow leaned down to kiss him just as he felt the thick, slippery tip of his cock bump the inside of his thigh. Shoyo reached for the shadow’s hand where it was wrapped around his cock, covering the messy fingers with his own and guiding the head to his quivering hole. “There,” he breathed.

“Okay,” the shadow whispered. He wasn’t kissing Shoyo anymore, just leaning their foreheads together and letting their hot breaths mix between them. All of his focus was narrowed down to the slow, careful slide of his erection inside.

Shoyo’s mouth dropped open at the stretch, a groan trembling out of him as the cockhead slid in first. It burned, and it felt strange after so long, but Shoyo also wanted more.

“Sho—? Fuck!”

The shadow let go of his cock to scrabble at Shoyo’s hips, maybe to pin them back down, maybe to encourage the way they rocked up and forced more of his length in. Shoyo didn’t give him a chance to decide. “Give me more, I can take it.”

“Fuck,” the shadow repeated, softer but still full of feeling. “Shoyo, I can’t…we gotta go slow, I won’t…fuck—”

“Not gonna last, Okami-san?” Shoyo cooed, ignoring the tremble of need in his own voice.

“Fuck off, I haven’t done this before.”

“Don’t need to fuck off, you’re already doing that for me.”

“You little shit!” The words were harsh, but their impact was dulled by the laughter shaking out of the shadow and the tension easing out of the muscles Shoyo ran his hands over.

“Hey,” Shoyo murmured when the laughter faded into a soft silence. “If you want to stop—”

“Fuck no, I didn’t say that,” the shadow grumbled, nudging his nose against Shoyo’s. “Just…give me a minute. You feel too good.”

He didn’t say anything, just gave a hum and traced soothing hands up to the shadow’s cheeks, guiding him back into soft kisses. With each press of their lips, the shadow’s hips pressed a little more forward, until they finally met Shoyo’s with a tremulous moan from the both of them.

Shoyo had thought he was used to the shadow’s size after weeks, possibly even months, of touching and holding and swallowing it down. But while his hands and mouth were used to his long, thick cock, it was still a shock to the rest of his body. Having the entire length in him was strange and burned, and made a new type of hunger spread tendrils through Shoyo. “Okami-san,” he sighed, a pleading note slipping into the nickname.

The shadow was trembling again, clearly trying to hold himself as still as possible. When he chanced a kiss, Shoyo accidentally clenched down with the first brush of their lips, making the shadow rear back with another groan. “Fuck, fuck—!”

“You can move when you’re ready.” He tried to keep his voice steady and reassuring, but the low whimper from the shadow told him that his mounting desperation was still apparent.

“...Sho,” he eventually muttered, “Sho, kiss me.”

He didn’t have to ask twice.

Shoyo pulled him into a hungry kiss that couldn’t have been more different from the soft reassurance he’d been giving him. Their lips parted against each other to stroke their tongues together and along teeth, lips, the tops of their mouths. With his focus redirected, the shadow stopped trembling as much. A gentle squeeze at his hip was the only warning Shoyo got before the shadow slowly pulled back and thrust back in. Shoyo keened into the kiss, nipping at the shadow’s lip as another thrust rocked into him.

“You okay?”

“Don’t stop,” he gasped.

There was another soft swear, and then, in the next breath, the shadow began setting a slow, steady rhythm. The little bits of discomfort that Shoyo had been feeling, the burn of the stretch and the strangeness of the intrusion, faded away completely as his body relaxed into the rhythm. His bitten-back grunts of pain melted into quiet keens and moans, echoed by the shadow and underlined by the sound of their hips meeting and meeting and meeting.

“Is—is this okay?” the shadow choked out.

Amusement bubbled up in Shoyo at the sound of the clear strain and restraint in the words, and he couldn’t help chuckling as he answered, “Yes. But…but I can take more. Faster. If you wanted.”

“Spirits, Sho, you can’t just…”

“What?”

“You can’t just say things!” That made a proper laugh of delight burst from Shoyo. “Stop laughing at me!”

It was strange, maybe a little stupid, to be seized by such a childish urge in the middle of getting fucked, but it might have been the euphoria of being one with the shadow that made Shoyo feel cheekiness on top of desperation and love. Whatever it was, the reassuring words he probably should’ve said were overwhelmed by a snickered, “Make me!”

The shadow’s steady thrusts faltered. “...Fine.” The pause stretched for another beat as his hips shifted between Shoyo’s legs.

His next thrust made Shoyo cry out. “That’s better,” he growled.

His adjustments had paid off in his thrusts digging straight into Shoyo’s prostate. The sudden, insistent pressure was almost too much, nearly overwhelming with the quicker rhythm of the shadow’s hips. “Oh, spirits, ah, ah, Okami-san—!”

“Not laughing anymore?”

Shoyo could only whimper, rocking his hips into the shadow’s despite trembling from the…everything. His arms tightened around the shadow’s shoulders, coaxing him close enough to brush his lips over his sweaty cheeks. “Please,” he mouthed into his skin, “take me, please.”

The shadow slid the ointment-covered hand at Shoyo’s hip up until it rested on his ribs, thumb resting just shy of his nipple. The next arch of Shoyo’s body bumped it against the bud properly, pulling a yelp out of his throat that faded into a moan when the shadow noticed and brought his thumb over it.

The extra touches, the faster thrusts, the precise aim to his prostate…it was all agonizing and amazing and too much and not enough, reducing Shoyo to moans that were muffled in the shadow’s neck, falling from his lips with every thrust. The sound of the shadow’s badly-stifled grunts and moans only added to his dizzying climb—it was heady, hearing how much the shadow still wanted him, even, no, especially after so many nights unraveling each other.

“Shoyo,” he groaned now, “Shoyo, I’m…are you…? Shit, I’m close—”

“Me, too.” The gasped words brought a relieved sound, somewhere between a sigh and a groan, from deep in the shadow’s chest. “M’close, I’m so close—” He could feel himself approaching the peak, could see the release he’d almost had before looming again, even stronger than before.

He was going to come untouched. It was his first time taking the shadow, the first time the shadow had ever taken anyone, and it was still so breathtaking that he was going to come just from the shadow fucking into him and drawing slippery circles around his nipples.

His lips parted to warn the shadow of his orgasm before it crashed, but what he said instead was, “Kiss me. Kiss me, please, Okami-san, kiss m—mmh!”

The shadow obeyed, licking into his mouth and giving a gentle twist to his nipple. That was all Shoyo needed.

White burst behind his eyes, a respite from the oppressive dark of the room, even if it was only behind his closed lids. He could feel his body arch, brushing his messy nipples against the shadow’s chest and making him come even harder. Even though he’d asked for the kisses, he couldn’t keep up with them, not when his mouth was hanging open with moans and strangled gasps of, “Okami-sa—ahhhhn!”

“Fuck…oh, shit,” the shadow groaned back. He was thrusting so hard, so fast, that Shoyo could feel his entire body rocking with the force of his hips. His prostate felt almost bruised from the ceaseless pressure, leaving Shoyo whimpering as he slowly came down from his orgasm. There was one more thrust into his prostate, one more quiver of his body in response, one more clench on the cock driving into him, before the shadow came apart with a loud, groaned, “Shoyo…ah, Sho—”

Shoyo couldn’t find the air to speak, especially when his chest was stuttering from the feeling of getting filled up. He could feel, actually feel his walls getting painted white—he’d always taken precautions against that in the past. But not now. Not with his shadow.

With a final shudder, the shadow collapsed over Shoyo, just barely managing to catch himself in time to avoid crushing him and instead lower himself on him. They shared a shudder at the feeling of the already-cooling mess between them, but the shadow seemed loath to pull away, especially with his cock still half-hard in Shoyo, and Shoyo…Shoyo wasn’t sure he could move even if he’d wanted to.

Luckily, he was perfectly happy laying there, pressed into the soft futon by the shadow’s weight, only able to stroke his fingers through silky hair. “You okay?” he murmured when the shadow stayed a little too still for a little too long.

With a shift and a groan, the shadow pressed a kiss to Shoyo’s sternum before muttering, “I’m…I feel amazing. Tired, but amazing.”

“Me, too.” Shoyo smiled into the shadow’s hair. “You were amazing, Okami-san. Was that really your first time?”

“I…yeah. Haven’t really had another chance to do that before.”

Shoyo knew that, but it was still hard to believe, especially based on the body he’d come to know so well. He didn’t say any of that, though. He only said, “Thank you…for letting me be your first.”

“Mm…my first,” the shadow whispered, slowly easing up Shoyo’s body with a trail of kisses left behind, “and my last. If you’d let me.”

“And mine,” Shoyo breathed, guiding the shadow to his lips. “Everything I am is yours, Okami-san. All of it.”

They didn’t say anything else after that. Everything that they could say was shared in kisses and caresses and the shadow’s careful cleaning of their bodies (after he could get his muscles to cooperate). Shoyo was exhausted, but as he helped guide the shadow’s hand and cloth over the messy, most-sensitive parts of his body, he couldn’t help wondering if he could catch a second wind.

Then the shadow wrapped warm arms around him and pulled him into a warmer body, and sex became the furthest thing from Shoyo’s mind. In that moment, his sleepy, lovesick mind couldn’t fathom a better place to be than there, held by the man he loved beneath thick blankets in the home they shared.

The last thing he was aware of as he hovered at the edge of sleep, slipping into his mind and making him unsure if it was real or dreamed, was the feeling of soft lips brushing against his ear and forming words so quiet, barely a breath, that he almost couldn’t hear them at all.

“I love you.”

#kagehina #ateots #at the end of the sun #haikyuu!! #pearl writes #pearl's stuff #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #shobio #haikyu!! #hq!! #kagehina big bang 2022 #kagehina big bang #kghn #haikyuu #haikyu #kagehina fics #fics #fanfics #fic #fanfic #kagehina fic #kagehina fanfics #kagehina fanfic #shobio fics #shobio fanfics #shobio fic #shobio fanfic

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 2

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: T; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Natsu Hinata, Mama Hinata, Ittetsu Takeda, brief cameos from Kazuyo Kageyama

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: In the light of Natsu’s illness, Shoyo is presented a way to give her the impossible cure.

A/N: Written for the @kagehinabigbang! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Shoyo had seen some incredible things in his life. None of them were a talking wolf. Certainly not a talking wolf offering to help him save his sister. “How do you…how are you talking? What are you talking about? How do you know about the…the plant, the…any of this?”

The wolf’s ears flicked, drawing Shoyo’s attention to the fur beginning to rise along his neck. He wasn’t very familiar with wolf behavior, but it didn’t take much to guess that he was a little annoyed. “I…I heard you and your mother speaking outside. She said something about the yamakumo flower and the risk of gathering it. But the risk only exists for humans. A wolf…I could retrieve it for you.”

“But…why?” Shoyo’s hold on the bow and arrow weakened, letting the point of the arrow drift towards the ground. “Why would you do that for us?”

“Because you can give me something in return.”

His fingers tightened around the bow, but he kept it aimed down. “What could I give a talking wolf?”

“Company.” The wolf drew himself up, looking somehow regal as he met Shoyo’s gaze. “The mountains are a ways away. If you want to be able to prepare the plants for your sister, you’ll have to come live with me, prepare them there, then get them home.”

Uneasiness prickled through Shoyo. “For…for how long?”

“A year.”

“A year?!” he repeated. “The flowers only bloom in the winter, why would I need to be there for a year?”

“It’s not just for the plants. It’s…I’ll need the company for a year. That’s all I can tell you.”

It was ridiculous. It didn’t make sense. He still didn’t know why this wolf was able to speak. And yet… “So…if I come and live with you for a year, you’ll be able to harvest enough of the yamakumo to…to save my sister?”

“Your sister?”

“Yeah…she’s the one who needs it.”

“I…I see.” The wolf’s paws shifted in the soil. “Yes, I’ll harvest as much as you need, in exchange for a year.”

Shoyo’s throat clicked around his swallow as he nodded. “Okay…good. Then…I need to let my mother know.” He looked back the way he came, before whirling back towards the wolf. “You need to come with me.”

The wolf blinked. “...What? Why?”

“I can’t go home and tell my family that I’ll be gone for a year to live with a wolf who spoke and told me he’d get the flower. You need to come as…I dunno, as proof or something.”

“Oh. Right.” The wolf looked down at himself, almost as though he were remembering what he was. “Alright. Lead the way.”

Shoyo’s uneasiness around the wolf persisted as he slung his bow across his body and prepared the deer to be brought home. Even though his training demanded that he not hold a bow with a strung arrow outside of active combat or hunting, Shoyo still itched to hold some sort of weapon in his hands. But instead, he was stuck hauling the deer across his shoulders, keeping his hands completely occupied.

It felt surreal, to be leading a wolf back to his home, especially one so large and dark and similar to the creature that haunted his dreams. Really, the past five minutes–had it truly only been five minutes?–didn’t feel real. A talking wolf materialized in front of him, offered a way to save Natsu, and demanded Shoyo live with him for a year in return.

A year to save his sister. A whole year of his life, spent away from home and the palace and his work. Then again…what was one year in exchange for Natsu’s life?

“Shoyo?” His mother’s voice snapped him out of his musings, and he looked up to see her gaping at him from the porch. “Oh my goodness, will you look at that! Where on earth did you–?”

Her words choked off as her eyes drifted away from the deer Shoyo was slowly lowering to the ground. “Shoyo,” she breathed, eyes wide with alarm, “don’t move. There’s a wolf right behind you, oh spirits.”

“I…I know. You don’t have to worry.” It wasn’t until her eyes snapped back to stare at him in disbelief that he realized that he…did not have a plan. His mother suffered no fools, and the thought of telling her that he was planning on leaving for a year to live with a wolf who had offered to save Natsu…well, it sounded pretty foolish.

“What do you mean, you know? You knew you were leading a wolf to our home?!”

Then again, the alternative was worse.

“No! I mean, yes!”

“Which is it?!”

“Yes, I knew I was leading him here, but he’s not dangerous, I swear!” His mother’s disbelief was giving way to anger, and it only made Shoyo flounder more. “I– he– he’s going to help!”

“...What?”

“He’s telling the truth.”

The wolf’s words fell like a rock in the Hinatas’ yard. It took everything in Shoyo to hold back his grimace as he watched his mother’s eyes snap back and forth between him and the wolf. “Who…?”

“Your son’s telling the truth,” the wolf repeated, moving up to stand next to Shoyo and the deer. “I can help get the yamakumo flower for your daughter.”

“Shoyo.”

“...Yeah?”

“Who just said that?”

“The, uh…the wolf.”

“Ah.” His mother’s expression was impassive as she stepped down from the porch and weakly sat on its edge. “I…I was hoping I’d imagined that.”

“Yeah…I did, too.”

She could only nod for a moment, driven to silence as she visibly processed what she’d just seen and heard. And then, slowly and deliberately, she asked, “What do you mean, you can help get the flower?”

The wolf repeated what he had told Shoyo: that he could embark on the journey that would be life-threatening for Shoyo and harvest the flower that Natsu needed. Hope bloomed in Shoyo with the hope he saw widening his mother’s eyes.

Then the wolf mentioned needing something in return.

Shoyo watched with dread as his mother straightened in her seat, eyes flickering to him just long enough for him to see the foreboding settling in them. “What would that be?”

“A year,” Shoyo murmured, bringing her attention to rest on him. “I…I would have to live with him for a year.”

“No.”

“Mom–”

“Absolutely not.”

“Mom!”

“A year, Shoyo? Do you hear yourself? A year with a wolf? What on earth does he want a year with you for?”

“If he lives with me, he’ll be able to properly prepare the flowers before transporting them from the mountains to here,” the wolf spoke up. “And…well…I need the company. Never mind the reason.”

“I think I will mind the reason,” Shoyo’s mother bit out. “That’s my son you’re talking about. He has a family, a job, a whole life you are asking him to leave behind for an entire year. You want him to give up all of that without telling him why?”

“What does it matter?” Shoyo cried. “Can’t the ‘why’ be Natsu? If this is the only way we can get her that flower, then why shouldn’t I agree to the deal?”

She stared at him in silence, letting him watch emotions flicker like fireflies over her familiar features: disbelief, anger, understanding, grief, and finally, determination. It was with that emotion in her eyes that she finally looked back at the wolf. “Prove it.”

Both Shoyo and the wolf stared at her. “...I’m sorry?”

“Prove that you can get the yamakumo. Then I’ll know that you can uphold your side of the deal, and maybe, maybe I’ll let Shoyo go with you.”

Shoyo could count on one hand all of the times he’d seen his mother’s eyes harden and jaw tighten quite like that. An instinctive part of him felt nervous at the sight, but it didn’t stop him from protesting, “Mom, I can make my own choice! If this is the best way to help Natsu, then I want to do it!”

“Then you’re a greater fool than I thought,” she snapped. “Think of what he’s asking of you, Shoyo. He’s asking you to give up a year of your life for something we’re not even certain he can do. And it’s not just you. He’s asking me to give up my son, asking Natsu to give up her brother, asking the daimyo to give up one of his most promising samurai.” She turned her eyes back on the wolf, whose fur, Shoyo was surprised to see, had started raising. It immediately flattened under his mother’s glare. “Go get a yamakumo flower. Prove to us that it’s possible. Then, and only then, will we seriously consider your offer.”

When the wolf spoke, his voice sounded strained, and Shoyo wasn’t sure if he was trying to conceal the waver of fear or anger. “The yamakumo flower doesn’t bloom for months.”

“Then get us the plant. I’ll be able to identify it without the flower.”

Silence fell over the clearing, so heavy it was almost oppressive, as Shoyo’s mother and the wolf stared at each other. “Alright,” the wolf eventually conceded. “I’ll return in a week with the plant. Will we have a deal then?”

“We can discuss a deal then,” Shoyo’s mother corrected.

The wolf’s ears twitched, but he nodded. “...I can see why you became a warrior,” he said, looking at Shoyo. “It looks like ferocity runs in your family.”

A smile curved over Shoyo’s face despite the frustration still brewing in him. “Yeah…yeah, I know.”

Something made the wolf pause, dark eyes watching Shoyo for a beat, before he quietly ordered, “Be ready to leave in a week. I’ll see you then.”

His confidence and casual command startled Shoyo into simply nodding. Nothing else was said. The wolf nodded back, first to Shoyo, then to his mother, then turned and disappeared into the forest. Shoyo waited for the underbrush to return to still silence before he let out a low whistle. “Geez, Mom. Who knew you could make a wolf nervous?”

“Never mind that,” she huffed. “Who knew wolves could speak and try to steal away my son?”

“Mom.”

“Don’t ‘mom’ me.” She pinched at his nose, though she couldn’t quite match his warrior’s reflexes, and she ended up pinching at air when he managed to dodge her fingers. “I can’t believe you were so ready to just…give up a year of your life like that.”

Shoyo shrugged, stubbornly ignoring the warmth creeping across his cheeks. “I was just…I was desperate. It sounded like a better way to get the flower, instead of, uh…dying.”

His mother shook her head with a fond, exasperated smile. “My goodness, that brain of yours. Have you even thought about your work? What army would let one of their most promising soldiers disappear for a year?”

“I’m not going to disappear,” Shoyo huffed, pointedly ignoring her actual question. “I’ll go back with Takeda-sensei tomorrow and let Captain Ukai know. I can tell him that Natsu is sick and I need to help take care of her. It’s not really a lie.”

“Shoyo.”

“It’s not! I…I might have to speak to Kageyama-sama directly, though.” A slow shudder slid down his spine at the thought. He had only ever seen the daimyo in person a handful of times. The old man somehow struck a balance between having a kind demeanor and regal air about him. It made him one of the more-approachable daimyos in the country, but it also made it more difficult for Shoyo to guess what his response to his requested absence would be. “That might be my only chance to be allowed back after a year.”

The idea clearly unnerved his mother—her face paled and her eyes widened as he spoke. “Shoyo, you can’t even guarantee that you’ll get an audience with him.”

“No, but…I have to try.”

“Oh, my darling boy,” his mother sighed, cupping his face and making him meet her sad eyes. “Are you absolutely certain about this? It would kill Natsu, knowing you lost the work you love for her sake.”

“We don’t know that I will!” he tried to reassure her. “Maybe I won’t! Just…please don’t tell her anything about that, not until I know for sure?”

His mother gazed at him for a moment before sighing and nodding. “Alright. But the moment we know, you have to tell her. Promise me.”

“I promise.” The words came instantly, quick as an instinct.

“Good.” Her hands slid away from his cheeks as she heaved another sigh. “Well now…let’s get to work on this beauty.”

The reminder of the buck was a relief. Shoyo was only too ready to begin the familiar, arduous work of taking the body apart, but just as he began sharpening his carving knife, Takeda stumbled to the still-open shoji screens. “Takeda-chan?” Shoyo’s mother asked, her voice nearly cracking on her surprise and worry. “What’s going on?”

“I…I thought I heard…” His eyes looked borderline-crazed as they scanned the yard, until the craze was replaced by defeat. “Ah. I thought I heard a familiar voice. I must have been mistaken.”

Shoyo and his mother exchanged a shared look of alarm and confusion–had he heard the wolf? Did he recognize the wolf’s voice? How would they even begin to explain everything that had happened in the past hour? Then his mother slipped into a practiced smile as she joked, “Familiar voices? Do you mean ours?”

“No no, I, ah…well, never mind.” He straightened up as he adjusted his glasses, before shooting his own practiced smile at mother and son. “My, Shoyo-kun, that’s quite the kill!”

“Oh, thank you, sensei,” Shoyo said with a shy laugh.

“We’ll finish carving it and we’ll be right in,” his mother told Takeda, “unless you would like to help?”

“Oh! Um. Perhaps I could help with things…inside?”

Shoyo struggled to bite back a laugh as his mother smilingly asked Takeda if he wouldn’t mind sweeping the floors, please? She didn’t turn back to Shoyo until the other healer had closed the screens behind him.

“Tomorrow,” she murmured, smile sliding off her face. “We’ll tell him everything tomorrow. And when you come back in a week, we’ll tell Natsu everything as well, alright?” She phrased it as a question, but Shoyo knew better.

“Alright.”

For the rest of the evening, he could almost forget about the wolf and the strange, impossible deal he’d offered. He could pretend that this was just another visit home, helping his mother with familiar, difficult chores.

But when Shoyo finally crawled into his old futon and drifted to sleep, it was to visions of sharp teeth, black fur, and dark blue eyes.

—————————————————~☾~—————————————————

By this point in his life, at 21 years old with a few years of being a samurai under his belt, Shoyo knew that the first day of any endeavor was never the hardest day. But he really felt he could be forgiven for hoping the exception would be finding out his sister was struggling with a potentially-fatal illness.

Of course that wasn’t the case. The next morning, once Shoyo helped Natsu get settled back into her futon after breakfast, he attempted to explain the…situation to Takeda. His mother let him do the talking, either because she thought he ought to take responsibility for making a deal with a talking wolf or because she still didn’t fully understand everything. Shoyo couldn’t be sure, but he didn’t really blame her either way.

Strangely enough, while Takeda definitely looked stunned by the whole ordeal, he didn’t seem specifically surprised by the news of the wolf. If anything, he was more curious about the how of the speaking wolf moreso than the what. “If he was the voice I heard last night,” he murmured, staring hard at the table as he thought through everything, “then why did he sound so familiar? I really feel as though I’ve heard that voice before.”

“Well…regardless,” Shoyo’s mother gently piped up, “do you think you’ll be able to help Shoyo get a year off approved?”

“Ah! Yes! I mean…it will be difficult, and there’s only so much sway I have as the daimyo’s healer,” Takeda warned, “but I can at least be there to vouch for the severity of Natsu’s illness.”

“That’s perfect, sensei, thank you!” Shoyo shifted away from the table to bow low to Takeda, ignoring the healer’s stammering attempts to get him to stop. “Anything I say about Natsu wouldn’t be believed as much without your help. Thank you.”

“Of course, Shoyo-kun. I only wish there were more I could do to help.”

“You’ve already been an immense help,” Shoyo’s mother reassured him. “We would not have even known what was ailing Natsu, much less how to cure her, if it hadn’t been for you.”

Any hope Shoyo felt following breakfast began to seep out of him once he and Takeda began the journey back to the palace. With nothing else but riding his horse available to occupy him, it wasn’t long before he began thinking a little too hard over everything: Natsu’s illness, the wolf, being separated from his entire life, his entire world, for a year.

It didn’t make sense that so much could have changed in 24 hours. He had come home ready to simply spend some time with his family. Now he was leaving home with his entire future up in the air.

His return to the palace grounds spurred a series of news and explanations that he repeated countless times: to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, to his other friends, to Captain Ukai. The news in turn spurred a series of reactions: pity, sadness, exhaustion in the captain’s case, acceptance from all.

Which left the daimyo himself.

By some stroke of luck, Takeda was able to arrange an audience with the daimyo for Shoyo the day before he was due back at home. Shoyo’s things were already packed and ready to go, but he couldn’t let himself think about the fact that he might never be able to bring them back to the place that had been his home for so many years.

His pulse sped up with every step he took towards the throne room, until he was kneeling in front of the daimyo with his heart practically leaping out of his throat.

“Ah…Hinata, was it?”

“Yes, Kageyama-sama.”

“Please, look up. Let me look at the samurai trying to escape for a year.”

“Your Grace, I would never–” The words died on Shoyo’s tongue when he looked up and was met with a kind, if not a little teasing, smile on Kazuyo Kageyama’s face.

“There he is. Captain Ukai and Healer Takeda tell me you are planning on leaving us for a year?”

“Yes, Kageyama-sama.”

“In order to help your mother take care of your ill sister?”

“Yes, Kageyama-sama.” Maybe he should’ve felt alarmed by how easy the lie was becoming to say, but the time to dwell on that was not when he was face-to-face with his daimyo.

“And you are hoping to be able to return to the samurai forces in a year?”

His use of the word “hoping” made the small kernel of hope in Shoyo get slowly buried by dread and defeat. “...Yes, Kageyama-sama.”

“You can understand why that idea gives me some pause.”

“I…yes. Kageyama-sama.” His fingers curled into the folds of his kimono over his lap.

“Have you given any thought to what you might do if you were not allowed to return?”

The lord’s eyes were not unkind, but the question still made Shoyo’s stomach clench. “Yes, Kageyama-sama. I would try to find work as a ronin, or…” The knot in his stomach tightened. “...or I would commit seppuku, if you saw fit. I understand what I’m asking could be seen as a slight to your family, though I would never deliberately cause such an insult. I…I only ask that, if this punishment is decided on, Your Grace allows me to ensure my mother and sister are healthy and safe before I go forth with the act.”

Lord Kageyama didn’t allow any emotions to slip through his kind features as Shoyo spoke, though his eyes did widen the tiniest fraction when Shoyo uttered the word “seppuku.” Once Shoyo finished speaking, the daimyo started with, “Young man, your concern for your family would never be seen as a slight to my own.”

Just like that, the knot in Shoyo’s stomach eased as he let out a slow sigh of relief. But he kept his hands clenched in his lap, hesitant to let hope in just yet.

“Your loyalty and honor belong to my family. Your love belongs to yours. Go, take care of them.” Before joy could fully wash over Shoyo, Lord Kageyama’s dark blue eyes sharpened, and his mouth curved into an almost-indistinguishable frown. “But when you return next year, I will expect your skills to be as they were when you left. There is no place for an untrained, unpracticed samurai in the ranks of my army. You’d do well to keep that in mind.”

“Yes, Kageyama-sama. I…I would never neglect my training.”

“Good. Well, then…I suppose we’ll see you in a year.” At Shoyo’s wide eyes, Lord Kageyama let his lips pull back into a kind smile. “May your sister enjoy a swift and thorough recovery, Hinata-kun.”

“Thank you, my Lord. Thank you!”

Shoyo wasn’t fully in the clear: he still had some things to discuss with Captain Ukai regarding who would cover for his duties, as well as finally let Tsukishima and Yamaguchi know about his departure.

But when he made his way back home to meet with the wolf, Shoyo left the palace grounds assured that there would be a place for him to return to, which was more than he had believed he would get.

His joy and relief was a fragile thing, though, weak enough to be dashed when he was returned home with Takeda and saw his mother already waiting for him on the engawa.

“Shoyo-kun.” He looked up at where Takeda was still perched on his horse. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No. Thank you, sensei, but…I should do this alone.”

And so, with a shaky attempt at a reassuring smile, Takeda rode away, leaving Shoyo to cross the yard by himself.

As soon as his mother caught sight of him, her eyes widened and her mouth opened to ask a question. “I’m okay,” he told her, grinning when her mouth slowly shut again. “Takeda-sensei got me an audience with Lord Kageyama, and he gave me permission to return. I…I’ll be able to go back in a year.”

“Oh, Shoyo,” his mother gasped, bundling him into a tight hug. “That might be the first bit of good news I’ve heard in months.” Contrary to her words, when she pulled away, Shoyo could see her posture tensing up again. “Are you ready to tell Natsu everything?”

“Are you sure? We still haven’t see the wolf, maybe he–”

“Hello.”

His mother’s head snapped up, and Shoyo whirled around to see the large, dark shape of the wolf approaching up the path. Around his neck, he wore a small pouch, and from the way he held his head high, it wasn’t difficult to guess what was in it.

Still, the wolf announced, “I’ve brought the yamakumo.”

“Oh.” Joy and dread clashed across Shoyo’s mother’s features–joy of a possible cure for her daughter, and dread of what that meant for Shoyo. She was silent as she carefully opened the pouch around the wolf’s craned neck and drew out a leafy stem. Her silence grew heavy in the yard, stretching on with every second she took to inspect the stem, the leaves, even the roots that still clung to small clumps of dirt.

When she finally spoke, her soft voice melted the silence instead of breaking it. “You did it. This is yamakumo.”

The wolf let out a quiet huff before asking, “Then does that mean our deal still stands?”

Shoyo’s mother bit her lip as she turned to look at him. “I…I think that’s up to you, love.”

His answer was instant, even as his throat ached with it. “I’ll do it. But I need to tell my sister first. She needs to know about…about everything.”

“...Nii-chan?”

Shoyo’s stomach dropped. He whirled around to see Natsu peering at him from just behind the shoji screens, eyes wide with shock. “Natsu…shit, I…what’re you doing down here?”

“I heard your voice, and I…Nii-chan, what’s going on?”

This wasn’t how Shoyo wanted this to happen. He’d planned on telling Natsu everything after he had a few moments to figure out exactly what he was going to say. He was going to see her in her futon, so she’d be able to turn away and burrow back into her comfort if the news upset her.

Instead, he was coaxing her to sit with him and their mother, and clumsily explaining to her that he had figured out a way to get the yamakumo flower, but that it would keep him away from home for another year. No, he wasn’t going to risk his life to get it himself. Yes, he really did have to be gone for that long. No, he wasn’t being blackmailed into doing this. He wanted to do this, wanted to do whatever he could to help Natsu heal. No, this wasn’t her fault. He was doing this because he wanted to, not because she’d asked.

None of his reassurances could hold back her tears. “B-but you’re going to be alone,” she cried, looking almost furious for him despite her soaked cheeks. “A whole year alone, Nii-chan, that’s not fair! No one should go through that!”

“I won’t be alone, Natchan!”

“Then who–?”

“I’ll be there.”

Shoyo didn’t think it was possible, but Natsu’s eyes got even wider when she stared at the wolf. “You…you talked.”

“I did. I do.”

Natsu’s eyes bounced between the wolf, Shoyo, and their mother, before they settled back on the wolf. “Are you…how we’ll get the yamakumo?”

“I am.”

“Oh…thank you. But um…why do you need my brother for a year?”

“Natsu,” Shoyo hissed, “don’t worry about that. It’s nothing compared to what we’ll get in return.”

“It’s a whole year, Nii-chan! That’s not nothing!” She was pale and skinny and wore dark circles under her eyes, and she still looked as fierce as the strongest soldiers Shoyo had marched beside. “I don’t want you to do this!”

“It’s my choice to make. Let me make it, Natchan.”

A deep furrow appeared between Natsu’s brows the longer she glared at Shoyo, but Shoyo stared back just as resolutely, and eventually his little sister wilted. She never could out-stubborn him, no matter how much she tried. “Then…is this the last time I’ll see you?”

“I think so…but it’s just for a year! I’ll be back before you know it, and you’ll be all better by then, you’ll see!”

Natsu didn’t say anything to that. She just gazed at Shoyo, eyes flickering around his face like she was carving it into her memory, the way she always did before the daimyo’s year-long pilgrimages to Edo.

Then, without warning, she was flinging herself into his arms, burying her face into his shoulder. “Easy there, monkey girl.”

For once, she didn’t complain about the nickname. She just murmured, so soft he almost didn’t hear her, “I’ll miss you, Nii-chan. You really won’t be able to visit?”

“I dunno…we’ll have to see. But don’t get your hopes up, okay?”

“Okay.” She squeezed him tight, like he was her old plush bunny. “...Love you.”

“What was that?”

“You heard me!”

“I don’t think I quite caught that.”

“Nii-chan!” Natsu whined, pushing away from Shoyo and pouting at his laughter. “Don’t be mean!”

“I’m not being mean, I’m just making sure you won’t miss me too bad!” His laughter faded into a melancholic smile as he turned to his mother, who was already watching him with tears shining in her eyes.

She silently held her arms open, and he silently fit himself into them, pressing his forehead to her shoulder as she rocked him back and forth.

“Whatever happens, Shoyo,” she whispered at his ear, “you can always come home. Do you hear me? If you want to get out of this deal with the wolf, or if you can’t return to the daimyo, you can always come back to us. Always.”

“I know,” he whispered back, his breath nearly catching on the lump in his throat. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, my little sun.” Shoyo’s heart ached at the tears glistening in her eyes when she pulled back to press a kiss to his forehead. “Stay safe. This year will feel even longer without you.”

“It will for me, too. But I’ll be okay, I promise.” His eyes stung as he stepped out of his mother’s arms and turned to his sister, and they began brimming when he reached out and ruffled her hair. “I love you, Natchan.”

His solemn words made fresh tears fill Natsu’s eyes, and Shoyo caught the first drop falling just as she pressed her face to their mother’s shoulder. “Go,” their mother whispered, already crying, even as she nodded at the wolf waiting behind him. “You have a long trip. Don’t keep him waiting.”

Everything in Shoyo screamed to steal one more hug, press one more kiss to Natsu’s hair and their mother’s cheek, murmur one last goodbye. But their mother was right. It was time he began the journey to what would be his home for the coming year.

So, with a last sigh, he shouldered his pack and turned to the wolf, wiping at his eyes before shakily declaring, “Alright. Let’s go.”

The wolf didn’t move for a moment, just sat there and watched Shoyo in silence. He only stood when Shoyo met his eyes, giving himself a little shake before echoing, “Let’s go.”

#kagehina big bang 2022 #kagehina big bang #kagehinabigbang #kagehinabigbang2022 #kagehina #kghnbb22 #pearl writes #pearl's stuff #shobio #at the end of the sun #ateots #haikyuu!! #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #natsu hinata #mama hinata #ittetsu takeda #kazuyo kageyama #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #hinata natsu #takeda ittetsu #kageyama kazuyo #kghn #kagehina fics #kagehina fanfics #kagehina fic #kagehina fanfic #hq!! #haikyu!!

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 8: Ghosts of the Past

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: T; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 4,168; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: Summer slowly fades into autumn, bringing with it shorter days, changing leaves, and confessions whispered in the dark.

A/N: Written for the Kagehina Big Bang 2022! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Time passed. The days became shorter, and the heat became more bearable with every post-midsummer week. Shoyo’s physique became leaner, more wiry. He began to heat up the water before bathing again. The vines that had crept up the wood barrier and reached around the freshly-repaired notches became heavy with dark, glossy leaves. He and the wolf continued coming home with more game and eventually added fishing to their hunts. Shoyo’s slowly-growing garden finally began yielding radishes and peppers and mature herbal leaves, allowing the wolf’s sister to ease her horse’s load when she came to visit.

After two months, however, her poor horse came carrying a full-load once again.

“It’s going to get cold soon,” she explained, biting back a smile at the way Shoyo struggled to see around his armful of blankets. “Figured it would be better for you to have thick blankets and clothes sooner than later.”

Shoyo had been confused, until he noticed the first changing leaves in the forest while hunting. When he rejoined the wolf, he carried an orange leaf along with the birds he’d shot. “Look!” he cried out with a smile. “Nee-san was right, fall’s almost here!”

“Oh…it’ll be nice to not feel so hot, I guess.”

“Yeah, but then it’ll be winter and we’ll be super—” The reminder of what the wolf would be doing then abruptly cut off Shoyo’s words.

The wolf didn’t question his sudden silence. He didn’t say anything at all. He just picked up his rabbits and led the way back to the house, his lowered tail the only sign of his displeasure. Shoyo didn’t know what it meant, that he didn’t express any of it to him.

Not that he had much right to be confused or hurt by that, not when he was hiding something himself. He’d hoped that the flush he’d felt after that messy tussle would be a one-time sensation, one that he would forget after some time, just as the wolf had seemed to forget that heated night.

The opposite happened. It was like that night had unearthed feelings and desires that Shoyo hadn’t even known about himself. During the day, he let himself forget about it all, finding comfort in the familiar bickering and teasing and fun he had with the wolf.

Then night fell, and the shadow laid next to him, and a single low greeting from him was enough to make Shoyo flush hot beneath his thin blankets. It was the same voice he heard during the day, but it was one thing to hear it coming from a big wolf. It was an entirely different thing to hear it at night, aware of what the body it came from felt like, and how much his own body had enjoyed that feeling.

These new emotions were strange and surprising and not worth disrupting the hard-earned comfort they’d built at their little home. So he shoved it all down, fought to keep his voice steady, and continued getting their home ready for the winter.

There were still a few months left before the wolf could fulfill his promise to gather the yamakumo, but he was at least able to keep a different promise: every month or so, usually after his sister visited, he continued making his own visits to Shoyo’s family. The trip was shorter every time, until he was able to leave and return within the same day. Sometimes he let them actually see him, other times he watched from the shadows, but he always came back with reassurances that they were alright. The news didn’t wipe away the ache of missing them, but Shoyo could at least rest easy, knowing they were safe.

The trees were outlined with orange beneath a dusky sky when the wolf returned from a visit with a scarf and pouch around his neck. “Oh no,” Shoyo sighed with a laugh. He could recognize that deep green material. “Did my mom give you that? I told her I already had a scarf.”

“I don’t think that would’ve made a difference,” the wolf huffed as he joined Shoyo on the engawa. “She was pretty stubborn about making me take this. So was Natsu.”

“Natchan?” Shoyo paused in unwinding the scarf from the wolf’s neck. “What did she have?”

“It’s in the pouch.”

Short answers weren’t strange from the wolf, nor was the way he gazed steadily at Shoyo. But something about the way he sat—the barest twitch of his ear, the stillness of his tail against the wood—made Shoyo’s stomach give an uneasy curl. He finished unwinding his mother’s scarf and set it aside without looking away from the wolf’s infinite eyes, only breaking their gaze to peer at the knot keeping the pouch hung.

When it came loose, the soft cloth of the pouch fell into his hand and collapsed around its contents, which clicked quietly against itself. Shoyo recognized the sound immediately, but he was still slow in untying the pouch, tilting it upside down over his hand once it was open.

A bracelet of woven leather and wooden beads fell out. It looked like the perfect length for Shoyo’s wrist, and both the leather and beads had been buffed to be completely soft and smooth, with no snags or splinters. “Oh,” he breathed.

“She said she wanted to have it finished for your birthday,” the wolf said quietly, “but it took longer than she expected because…well.” His paws kneaded uneasily into the wood. “Apparently it’s been her project for the past few months. Anytime she’s too tired to help around the house but doesn’t want to sleep, she’s been working on this.”

Shoyo ran his fingers along the smooth wooden beads and soft leather. He could imagine Natsu sitting in her futon, with bad lungs and restless fingers, painstakingly carving the beads from spare sticks their mother gave her. She had always been better at the delicate work of skinning and deboning than Shoyo was, and her careful fingers were just as capable of carving out bits of beauty from coarse materials.

He didn’t notice his throat tightening nor his eyes stinging, too busy admiring the bracelet and trying to tie it on his own wrist. His chin was tilted down towards his wrist in his lap, until a black nose slid into view and nudged at his cheek. “Hey…you okay?”

Shoyo opened his mouth to answer, only for his voice to catch in his throat, leaving him only able to shake his head with a quivering lip. He lifted his head to meet the wolf’s dark gaze, catching sight of those ears leaning back in concern. “I…,” he began, with the intent to reassure the wolf, “I…”

His words faded into silence, a silence that was soon broken by a sound he’d never heard before: a low, rumbling croon, like a growl, but so much gentler. It was almost musical, and only grew louder as the wolf stepped in close and fit his large head into the curve of Shoyo’s neck. The sound rumbled through Shoyo, dislodging the lump in his throat and easing the tension in his shoulders, until he melted into the warm, furry wall of the wolf’s body. “Thank you,” he whispered into his neck, draping his arms around him to hold him close.

The wolf didn’t say a word, didn’t do anything that might disrupt his soothing rumble. He just pressed in closer, until Shoyo found himself with a lapful of the wolf’s heavy, grounding weight.

He didn’t say anything when he felt his legs begin to fall asleep beneath the wolf. The prickling needles of pain were nothing compared to the comfort and warmth he found in the embrace.

———————~☾~———————

Shoyo had always thought he was made of pretty stern stuff when it came to the cold. His body ran hot, letting him depend on fewer blankets and thinner coats. During colder treks and journeys, his friends would usually argue over who could sleep next to him, just so they could leach off his warmth.

So he was surprised, even a little embarrassed, to already be taking out the thick yogi the wolf’s sister had brought. He’d thought he’d be able to wait until the first snowfall, but being so close to the mountains meant it got colder faster. It’d only been two months since she’d brought the blankets and coats, and there was Shoyo, spreading the comforter over his futon.

He also spread out an extra yogi on the shadow’s futon. It was bad enough he’d been sleeping in a smaller, thinner futon for the past several months. He didn’t need to freeze as well.

“Oh. Thanks,” the shadow murmured when he found the comforter, his surprise coming through his soft words.

Shoyo drowsily turned towards the sound of heavy rustling—he’d just managed to fall asleep when the shadow entered. “You’re welcome,” he mumbled, his face still half-buried in his pillow. “Didn’t want you feeling cold. ‘Specially without all your…um…”

“Fur?”

“…Yeah.”

He flushed at the snort he heard. “How many months has it been? Why are you still weird about that?”

“I’m not being weird about it!” He was. “I know you’re…you, but I still can’t think too hard about it all.”

“You barely think at all.”

“Hey!” Shoyo’s snap was dulled by his surprised laughter, and the sound of a familiar huff told him that was exactly the point of the taunt.

Neither of them said anything else once his laughter died down, until Shoyo piped up, “Your fur matches your sister’s hair.”

“I…guess?”

“So you have black hair, too?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

Shoyo hummed thoughtfully. “Your eyes match, too.”

“I guess.”

“Did you forget how to say anything else?”

“Shut up.” Shoyo giggled as the shadow’s blind poke landed harmlessly on his arm. “What about you?”

“Huh?”

“Your hair,” the shadow muttered, “it doesn’t match your mother’s.”

“Mm…Natsu and I got it from my father. My mom likes to joke that our hair was the greatest gift he’d given her, because it made us impossible to lose.” He smiled at the memory, even as his heart gave a dull squeeze at the thought of his family.

There was a quiet laugh, then silence, stretching long enough that Shoyo thought the shadow might have fallen asleep, but then he suddenly asked, “Do you…do you miss him?”

“Yeah…everyday.” The smile grew across his face despite the stinging in his eyes. “He was everything I wanted to be. He let my mom continue her work, let me train to become a samurai even though he didn’t really want me to…he taught me how to hunt and fight, and he pushed me to learn how to sew and cook and clean, too. He told me my mom had just as much to teach me, if not more. He…he died before he could teach Natsu, but he always talked about looking forward to teaching her, so I taught her when she was old enough.”

His thoughts drifted to the dreams that had been haunting him ever since he’d taken on the responsibilities of his father: the perpetual chase after him, the urgency he felt to catch up with him in the forest, and the unnerving mix of fear and relief that pumped through him when he realized the shadowy form was never his father. “I still feel like I’ll never live up to him. I try to do everything I can to help take care of the family the way he did, but it’s not the same, especially for my mom. She says I look and act just like him, and I used to feel proud of that, but now I…” He swallowed around the ache in his throat. “I wonder if I remind her too much of him.”

“What do you mean?”

“She never really stopped grieving for him. Apparently she started getting proposals from a few men after I left home to start my training, but she turned them all down. Said it wouldn’t be fair to marry someone when she still loved her first husband.” A different ache settled in his chest, a dull throb in time with his heartbeat. “I never really believed in soulmates, but if I did…I think my parents would be the perfect example.”

“She was lucky,” the shadow said, a bittersweet note in his low voice, “to have a love like that in her life. Even if he was taken from her too soon.”

His words surprised away the ache in Shoyo’s chest and throat—he’d never heard the shadow say something so…sentimental. “Yeah,” he managed to say after a beat of startled silence, “yeah, she was. So was he.”

More silence followed his words, interrupted by the shadow’s soft, shallow breaths. Then, in a low voice that melted the silence instead of breaking it, he asked, “Have you ever loved someone like that?”

“No,” Shoyo scoffed automatically, before a memory pricked at him. “Well…maybe. There was…there was this boy, when I’d just started training as a samurai. I think I was seven or eight. He wasn’t one of the trainees—I’m still not sure who he was—but he would always show up during our drills and watch us. I would smile at him every time, and he would just frown back at me, so I figured he didn’t like me for some reason.

“Then one day, when I was staying behind for extra drills, he showed up, grabbed one of the training swords, and told me to fight him.” Shoyo couldn’t help the laughter that started to color his words. “I thought he was crazy, or some spoiled rich kid who would throw a tantrum if he didn’t get his way, so I just went easy on him. And then the little jerk beat me! He could actually hold his own with a sword, and that pissed me off. After that, all of my most exciting spars were against him.

“I don’t…I don’t know if I fell in love with him. Even if I did, I wouldn’t have known what that even meant at that age. But I do remember wanting to kiss him, and that scared me. The only other thing I’d ever wanted so much was to be a strong samurai, like my dad. I couldn’t understand myself, couldn’t understand what I was feeling. Maybe…maybe I would’ve acted on it, if I had more time. But a few months after I turned nine, he just stopped showing up. I don’t know what happened. And the worst part is, I can’t remember his name. I don’t even remember what he looked like, only that he had black hair, like almost everyone I’ve ever met, and soft hands, nothing like the other samurai. That’s it. No name, no clues on where he went. Just his hair and hands.”

It wasn’t until he fell quiet that he realized how much he’d been talking. “Sorry, I, uh…didn’t mean to ramble for so long.” Silence met his words. “Um…what about you?” More silence. “Have you ever been in love?”

It was unnerving, how quiet the shadow had become. Maybe he had fallen asleep, but his sleeping breaths were usually a little heavier. Shoyo didn’t know what to make of this total silence, and he was about to mutter a sheepish good night, when he suddenly heard a hoarse, “Once. A while ago.”

“Oh.” Shoyo was at a loss. Conversation hadn’t been this awkward since he first started living with the wolf. “Well…I’m sure you’ll find someone else someday.”

“I…I’m not so sure.”

“Why not?”

“Just…” There was a deep, shaky breath, unlike anything Shoyo had heard from the shadow. He realized with a jolt that it was the sound of the shadow trying not to cry, something he’d never done around Shoyo. He felt confused and guilty that a conversation about love and family was what had finally broken the wolf.

“Just…,” the shadow tried again, “I’m not…missed. When…when all this happened, the only people who worried about me were my sister and my grandfather. Nee-san only learned what happened out of pure stubbornness and nosiness. I made her promise not to tell my grandfather what had happened, even when he was trying to find me.”

“Why?!”

“Because…I dunno, I was ashamed. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I couldn’t handle him knowing how stupid I’d been. But then he stopped looking, and I realized that…that he must’ve thought I’d run away or died or been kidnapped.” With every word, his low voice grew thicker, shakier, his hold over his tears weakening more and more. “I hate the idea of him thinking any of that, but it’s too late now. The only way I can tell him the truth is if I…fix things, somehow. He’s the only reason I want to go back. I don’t have any friends, except— I dunno, there’s really…there’s no one else who would have worried about me, no one who would miss me. I’m just— I’m a ghost, I’m not—”

Shock froze Shoyo when the shadow’s words broke into a sob, the heartbreaking sound bouncing around the room before it was muffled, probably by his hands. Even in tears, the shadow was quieter than Shoyo—after the first sob, Shoyo could only hear his tremulous gasps for air, with only small hiccups betraying that he was still crying.

Shoyo was heartbroken, but he was also furious at the injustice of it all. He didn’t know what the wolf had done to end up like this, but the awkward, caring, strong person he’d come to know deserved to be missed, deserved to be loved and know it. “That’s not true,” he muttered, just loud enough for the shadow to hear over his tears.

“…W-what?”

“That’s not true,” Shoyo repeated, turning towards the sound of quiet crying. “You have me, Okami-san. You have me and my family and your sister, and I just know your grandfather will be overjoyed to see you again one day. And you will see him again, because you’re strong and loyal and selfless and you will figure this out, I know you will.” A hand slid out from beneath his thick blankets, reaching blindly towards the shadow. His passionate words were met with silence, broken only by the sound of shaky breaths slowing down. “You deserve to be loved, Okami-san. And you are loved.”

“I…I dunno…”

“What should I do?”

“What?”

“How can I make you believe me? How can I help you feel better?”

There was a long pause punctuated by another shaky breath, before Shoyo heard, in the smallest voice, “Can you…hold me?”

“Hold you?”

“Yeah. I just…your hugs feel nice when I’m a wolf, and it’s been a while since I’ve had one as a human, so I thought…never mind, it’s stu—”

“Come here.” His interruption made the shadow lapse into a surprised silence as Shoyo shifted over and lifted the thick blankets. “Okami-san, c’mere.”

“To…to your futon?”

“Our futon now. Come on.”

“Are you sure?” the shadow asked, as though Shoyo couldn’t hear his slow shuffles closer.

“Yeah. I want this.” He’d noticed a guilty note in the shadow’s voice, but it had nothing on the guilt pumping through Shoyo: guilt for all the times the wolf had comforted him through tears, for not showing him how much he cared for him, for feeling the slightest bit lucky for the chance to share the futon and hold him.

He didn’t just want this. He wanted him.

But when he felt the futon dip under the shadow’s weight and the blankets warmed from the added heat, he didn’t feel any of the arousal that had coursed through him during their blind wrestling. No, he only felt guilt and affection, mingling and blooming into a bittersweet longing that almost choked him as he felt the shadow’s arm brush his sleeve.

“I’m here,” he whispered, running his hand up the shadow’s arm to find his shoulder. “Come closer.”

There was a rustle and the shoulder beneath his hand shifted, before he felt calloused fingertips bump against his collarbones. A tremor ran through him from the sudden touch, and he immediately regretted it when those fingertips paused. “Tell me to stop,” the shadow breathed.

“I won’t.” Shoyo covered the shadow’s hand with his own, guiding it up his neck and to his jaw. “I don’t want to.”

The shadow fell silent after that, seemingly focused on curling close to Shoyo without bumping into him. His hand continued gliding over his body as a point of reference, and it took everything in Shoyo to keep himself from shuddering again beneath the light exploration.

Eventually the hand returned to Shoyo’s neck, gliding past where his pulse was strongest to cup his jaw. Then it was gone, replaced by smooth strands of hair brushing Shoyo’s chin. It didn’t make sense, the way Shoyo felt more relaxed as the shadow pressed in. His leaping heartbeat slowed as the shadow’s head nudged his chin, his arms wrapped around his waist, and their legs brushed together. Slowly, carefully, trying not to jostle the shadow, Shoyo pulled the warm blankets back over them, before settling his arms around the shadow’s shoulders and holding him close.

“I’m here,” he whispered, his chin sliding against silken hair. “I know neither of us chose this, but…I’m glad you’re the one I’m doing it with. I like our life here. I like getting to know you, and…I care about you. A lot.”

Silence fell when his words ended, but Shoyo knew, now, that the shadow needed more time to find his words that night.

He didn’t get words. No, he got the feeling of warm tears seeping into his yukata and brushing against the exposed skin of his chest. “Hey,” he cooed, stroking his fingers in a soothing rhythm through soft hair.

“Me, too,” the shadow finally choked out against his wet skin. “I’m happy it’s you.” He didn’t thank Shoyo, nor did he apologize, a detail that made the corners of Shoyo’s lips tick up despite himself. The shadow already knew he wouldn’t accept either from him, not like this.

He listened to the shadow’s quiet sobs fade away, and felt his tears slow to a stop. He didn’t stop holding him tight and stroking his hair until his breathing evened into the deep, slow rhythm of sleep. Only then did Shoyo allow himself to drift off.

———————~☾~———————

He was in the woods. He didn’t want to be in the woods. He didn’t want the bow in his hands, the arrows at his back, the futile search for his father, none of it.

He was tired. He was confused. He wanted the wolf to show himself already, wanted to ask him what he was going to say, wanted to fall to his knees and bury his face into his fur again.

But the wolf wasn’t there. Years of this dream, and for the first time, there was no mysterious creature, no figure of black creeping towards him. He couldn’t see the familiar shape of the wolf. He wanted nothing more than to see those dark eyes, and they were nowhere to be found. The wolf was nowhere to be found.

The hands came suddenly. A warm hold at his waist made him gasp, his bow creaking dangerously in his tightening fingers. “O-Okami-san?” he whispered.

The invisible presence didn’t say anything, but the hum that escaped it told Shoyo everything he needed to know. He melted into the shadow’s arms, letting him take his weight as one hand skated up Shoyo’s body to rest over his leaping heart. Almost immediately, he could feel his pulse slow under the steady warmth of the shadow’s hand. “Okami-san,” he repeated on a shaky breath, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…to feel like this. I’m sorry for wanting more when you’ve already given so much, I know you don’t—”

Soft lips brushed his ear, letting him hear the shadow’s quiet shushing clearly. Shoyo obeyed, lapsing into a hopeful silence—maybe the shadow would finally say something in a dream.

But he didn’t. He just held Shoyo, letting him lean against a strong body and rest in strong arms. It should’ve been frustrating, but Shoyo couldn’t resist how comforting the embrace really was. “Okami-san, I…I wish I…”

Shoyo awoke shivering, his futon and blankets feeling unusually cold. He couldn’t understand why, until he caught the escaping threads of his dream—the shadow, his hands, his quiet hushes—and remembered falling asleep with the shadow in his arms.

He didn’t feel panicked. He didn’t even feel embarrassed. He just felt an icy understanding slip beneath his shivering skin.

He was in love with the shadow, with his wolf. He was in love with a man he’d never seen.

#ateots #at the end of the sun #pearl writes #pearl's stuff #kagehina #kagehina big bang 2022 #kagehina big bang #kghn #haikyuu!! #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #shobio #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #haikyu!! #hq!! #kagehina fics #kagehina fanfics #kagehina fic #kagehina fanfic #east of the sun west of the moon #hurt/comfort #shobio fic #shobio fanfic #shobio fics #shobio fanfics #fic #fanfic #fics #fanfics

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 5: Shadows and Secrets

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: T; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 3,084; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: Just as Shoyo settles into his new life with the wolf, a new revelation threatens to shatter the tentative peace he's found.  

A/N: Written for the Kagehina Big Bang 2022! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

He was back. Back in the forest, back with his father’s bow and arrows, back to following a dark shape that he knew wasn’t his father.

Everything was the same, and yet, he didn’t feel any fear. He wasn’t nervous. He only felt anticipation, something almost like excitement as he watched the dark shape turn and gaze at him, solidifying into the wolf with every step it took towards him.

He stared at the wolf’s mouth, waiting for him to open like he had before. Maybe this time he would stay asleep long enough to hear that dark voice finally murmur something.

But this time, the wolf didn’t open his mouth, didn’t take a breath to speak. He just stopped in front of him, close enough to rest his cheek on his hip. Dark eyes watched him, filled with melancholy, remorse, and…fondness. It was an emotion he’d thought he’d spotted in those eyes before, but never so clearly.

The wolf didn’t open his mouth, but instead, for the first time in all his months of having this dream, he felt his own lips part, and heard his own voice leave him with a soft, “Okami-san…?”

Shoyo’s eyes didn’t snap open when he awoke, nor did he feel panicked or flustered. He felt worried, yes, but it was more of an ache, like the melancholy he’d seen in the wolf’s eyes.

Why? Why did he look so sad? Shoyo had thought that they’d found a comfortable companionship in each other in the weeks that he’d been there. Was he mistaken?

His mind drifted to their bickering, the wolf’s interest in his training, the sheepish gratitude in his low voice when he noticed the repairs and cleanings Shoyo had done. He snagged on the memory of their tussle, the amused glint in the wolf’s eyes and the cold jolt of his nose against his cheek.

No. No, he hadn’t been mistaken. Compared to the wolf’s grumpy guilt during Shoyo’s first days with him, he had practically become a beam of sunshine. Maybe it was Shoyo’s own sense of melancholy…except he hadn’t felt it in a while, either.

The longer he laid there thinking, the stronger the threat of a headache loomed at the edge of his mind. Better to get up, start the day, and stop thinking about it.

The perk of having trained to be self-sufficient was that Shoyo could do all of the house repairs and cleaning that the wolf couldn’t. The other edge of that sword was that he managed to do it all efficiently and, as a result, finished everything quickly. Pretty soon, he was left with only the chipped roof tiles to fix—something he couldn’t do until he figured out a way to get new tiles—and the little patch of soil that looked like it could be a garden, if it wasn’t overrun with weeds.

Shoyo was not much of a gardener. His mom had taught Natsu the ropes of tending to her garden of herbs and healing plants at home, and Yamaguchi was the gardener at his other home. All Shoyo knew was how to do the little tasks that he was asked to help with.

Thankfully, one of those tasks was weeding.

Despite not being a gardener, he was surprisingly soothed by the feeling of the soil crumbling soft in his hands and loosening around the weeds’ roots. He barely noticed the grit of earth on his bare knees as he worked. He barely noticed anything, really, until the wolf walked into the yard and finally broke his focus. It was only then that he noticed the ache in his legs and the pile of weeds and roots and stones rising at the edge of the soil.

“Oh,” he said, bewildered, before looking up at the wolf. “Oh. Wow, you’re drenched!”

The wolf’s eyes jerked up from the clean soil to look at him. Shoyo wasn’t sure what expression was on his face, but whatever it was made the wolf’s ears lean back. “Thanks. I had no idea.”

Shoyo couldn’t help grinning at the wolf’s embarrassment. “Did you go swimming, or did you trip and fall into the river?”

The teasing question earned him a low growl. “I went into the river to cool off a little, but the banks dropped off faster than I expected, so…”

A choked-back laugh sputtered out of Shoyo. He couldn’t help it—he’d never seen a wolf look so sheepish. But his laugh made the wolf straighten out of his embarrassment and stare at him with an unnerving steadiness. “...What?”

One moment, Shoyo was staring apprehensively into dark eyes. The next, droplets of cold water were splashing onto him, making him squawk and send dirt into the air in his haste to hold up his hands against the onslaught. “What the— quit it!!”

The wolf just kept shaking himself dry, finally stopping when his fur turned him into a dark bush with legs. He fell still and went back to watching Shoyo, this time with his tail languidly wagging. “Problem?”

Shoyo tried to hold on to his annoyance, he really did. But the sight of the wolf standing so proudly when he looked so ridiculous made his frustration melt into helpless laughter yet again. “What?!” the wolf griped, his tail going still again. “Now why’re you laughing?”

“I’m sorry,” Shoyo gasped between peals of laughter, “I’m sorry, I just— you look like a cloud! I didn’t know you could get so— so fluffy!”

“Well, can you fix it?”

“After you splashed me like that? No!”

“I only did it because you kept laughing at me, dumbass!”

“I laughed once, that’s not the same!”

The wolf bared his teeth in the world’s least-threatening snarl, before flopping down in a mopey, fluffy lump. It really was impressive, how long his fur could continue defying gravity, covering up all the lean, intimidating strength that usually radiated from him. Shoyo didn’t even know he had that much fur to fluff. He looked almost cu—

No. No, he didn’t. If Shoyo was brushing his hands clean, it was because he was cleaning up after weeding. If he was leaning towards the wolf, it was because his pile of weeds and stones was near him. And if his hands were reaching towards the wolf…and touching the wolf…and sinking into the black cloud around him…

“Thought you said you weren’t going to fix it.”

“I’m not!” Shoyo denied stoutly. “I’m just…just…”

“You just wanted to pet me?”

“No! I was…you just…you’re so fluffy!”

“You’ve mentioned.”

“Yeah, but…I just wanted to see if you felt as soft as you looked!” Shoyo flushed when one of the wolf’s eyes squinted open to peer at him.

“...And?”

Despite the frown tugging at his lips, Shoyo couldn’t stop sinking his hands into the wolf’s fur and helping it smooth flat again. “...You are.”

His flush deepened at the sound of that huff-laugh. Only a handful of weeks had passed since he’d arrived, but Shoyo already felt a sense of fond familiarity towards the wolf’s different quirks and mannerisms, his huff most of all.

In a rare streak of mercy, the wolf didn’t say anything else. He just leaned into Shoyo’s touch until he flopped onto his side, halfway on Shoyo’s lap. Just a little bit of his weight already felt so solid and warm, and Shoyo found himself feeling the sudden urge to curl in close to the wolf and fall asleep next to that comforting warmth.

It didn’t help that the wolf was letting out a strange mix of snuffs and rumbles, what might have been the closest thing to a purr that he could manage. Every time Shoyo passed a hand over his head, he leaned into the touch, almost like he couldn’t help it.

He never could’ve imagined he’d feel so relaxed with a wolf halfway on his lap, but he did. He really did. He felt so soothed and comfortable that he couldn’t bear to move, not until his legs began prickling from being tucked under himself for too long.

“Okami-san,” he finally murmured, his reluctance keeping his voice soft. “Hey, are you asleep?”

There was a snort, a huff, then finally those dark eyes blinked open. “Mm…almost was.”

“Can you get off me before you actually do? You’re too heavy for my legs.”

A quiet, non-threatening growl rumbled against Shoyo’s lap, before the wolf slowly rolled off to curl up a little more normally. “Am I too heavy, or are you too weak?” he grumbled as he settled down.

“I’m not weak,” Shoyo scoffed, “You know that.”

He expected the wolf to argue back like he always did, but he just hummed in agreement as he tucked his snout under a paw.

Cute. The word flitted through Shoyo’s mind before he could even try to stop it. It was there and gone, but that was still enough for him to feel his cheeks warm up again with indignance. Thinking of a wolf as “cute”...ridiculous.

“Happy napping,” he mumbled, before gathering up the pile of weeds and hurrying away to dispose of them.

He moved into the kitchen to throw the weeds into the oven and let them burn, but he faltered at the sight of the woodstack next to the oven’s iron door. Right. The wood.

He’d been too sleepy to think much of it in the morning. Now it properly unnerved him: the woodstack was tall with freshly-chopped logs and tinder, as if he had freshly replenished the pile.

Except he hadn’t. He was going to after he’d noticed how low it had been the previous night. But in the morning he had shuffled into the kitchen, planning on making a breakfast that didn’t require the oven, only to be met by the scent and sight of freshly-chopped wood.

He wasn’t sure if he felt more grateful for the mysterious helping hand, or more unsettled by the idea of some ghostly stranger coming into his home—he still wasn’t used to calling this place that—and restocking the kitchen as if it were their own.

It had to have been a stranger. No matter what the wolf liked to claim about his self-sufficiency before Shoyo got there, there was no way he could have chopped wood. No wolf had jaws strong enough to wield an ax and cut down trees with it.

There wasn’t anyone else there at that moment, that much he was sure of. But that didn’t keep him from feeling like there was a ghost in the kitchen with him, watching as he went through the motions of making lunch.

The feeling didn’t ease, even when Shoyo brought his lunch out to the engawa to try and escape the sensation of being stuck in a cage for someone’s perusal. It only drifted to a corner of Shoyo’s mind when the wolf woke up and came over to look at what he had made.

He didn’t say anything to the wolf, partially because he didn’t want to worry him, but mostly because he knew he would think he was being ridiculous. He could hear him already: “Dumbass, you really think there’s someone randomly doing our chores? No one ever passes by here anyway.”

Maybe it was a ghost. He was living with a talking wolf, ghosts weren’t that impossible anymore.

The moment that thought crossed Shoyo’s mind, he knew, with a weight of dread settling in his stomach, that it would be haunting him for the rest of the day. It only got worse when the sun set, sending him scuttling around the house as quickly and quietly as he could. Sliding the shoji screen behind him in his room had never felt better.

The weight of worrying all day at least let him fall asleep the moment he settled into his futon.

It didn’t let him stay asleep.

When he woke up to a pure darkness broken only by soft breaths, his first thought was that the wolf had somehow, for some reason, gotten into the room again.

But the longer he stayed awake, the more he noticed details that proved those breaths didn’t belong to the wolf. No, these were distinctly human, measured and quiet in a way the wolf could never quite manage.

Then who was shifting on the ground next to his futon?

He clenched his fists to keep himself from trembling, and forced himself to keep taking the deep, steady breaths of someone sleeping, instead of the shallow, uneven breaths of someone with panic pumping through them.

And then, as soon as the body next to him stilled, Shoyo flipped over and tried to pin them down.

“Tried” being the operative word. Before he could fully kick off the covers, the stranger had already figured out what he was trying to do, and Shoyo barely avoided being pinned down himself. He fit his feet under the stranger’s hips and pushed them off, making them try to scramble away instead. That gave Shoyo the opening he needed to grab their ankles and make them trip. He was on top of them before they could scramble back up, straddling the back of their waist and pinning their wrists down.

Not “their.” “His.” The firm, lean planes of muscle and the wrists beneath his fingers sloping into strong forearms reminded Shoyo of his fellow samurai, so much so that for a moment, Shoyo could have believed that he was back in their home on the outskirts of the palace grounds, sparring with Yamaguchi.

The stranger tried to buck him off, forcing Shoyo to drop his elbows to the ground and lower his torso to better pin him down. But that meant Shoyo got to feel and smell more of that strong body and warm skin and sweat, all of the sensations making heat swoop low in his stomach.

Focus, Shoyo thought, but his face still warmed. At least the stranger wouldn’t see anything in the dark. “Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?” he demanded. The stranger didn’t need to know the place technically belonged to a wolf.

“Your house?” the stranger snapped.

Shoyo froze. He knew that voice. “Okami-san?”

“Don’t call m—” the voice began, before choking off.

“It is you!” Shoyo gasped. “But how?”

“Will you get off of me? I’m not gonna explain anything while I’m stuck under your ass.”

“What, are you weak as a human?” Shoyo snapped as he slowly crawled off of the wolf’s distinctly-human body. “How is this even possible?”

He perched on his futon, making sure to face the shuffling sounds of the wolf sitting up. His mind swirled in time with the adrenaline pumping through him—that was the wolf’s voice, saying the wolf’s words. There was no mistaking that. And he was a wolf. Shoyo had seen him, touched him, wrestled with him—the creature who had promised to help his sister in exchange for a year of Shoyo’s life was truly, unmistakably a black wolf.

But the being in front of him now, shrouded in darkness and speaking with the wolf’s voice, was truly, unmistakably a human man. It didn’t make sense. It shouldn’t have been possible. His mind could make peace with a talking wolf, but a talking wolf who transformed into a man was a few steps too far.

Unless…“Are you…some sort of reverse werewolf?”

“What? No!”

“Don’t get mad at me! I’m not the one who doesn’t make sense!”

He heard an annoyed huff, then a deep, steadying breath, before that voice spoke again, sounding much calmer. “I…I can’t explain. I know it doesn’t make sense, and if I could explain it all, I would. Just…it’s still me. The wolf that you’ve known…that’s me. I swear. You can still trust me.”

Anger spiked in Shoyo, but so did surprise. Because in a matter of weeks, he did trust the wolf, despite everything. Maybe because of everything. But still—“Why can’t you explain?”

“I…I messed up. And now I’m like this. That’s all I can say.”

“And when you say ‘like this,’ you mean…a wolf during the day, and a human at night.”

“Yes.”

“Can I see you?”

“No!” Shoyo flinched at the harsh edge of the word. “No,” the wolf repeated, softer but still stern. “You can’t see me like this.”

“Why? Are you ugly?”

“Fuck off.” The words sounded tired, without any heat behind them, but Shoyo didn’t have it in him to feel bad. “The reason I’m like this is the reason you can’t see me.”

“And is that the reason you’ve been sneaking in and sleeping with me like a creep?”

“…Kind of. I also just need a place to sleep, and you took my usual place, so.”

“Only because you wanted me here.”

“A decision I’m starting to regret.”

Shoyo couldn’t hold back a snort. “Do you want the futon back?”

“No. Just…let me keep sleeping in here.”

“It’s your house,” he mumbled, cheeks feeling warm again, “you don’t need my permission.”

“It’s my house, and you’re my guest.” It would’ve been a thoughtful sentiment, if it didn’t sound like it was being pulled out of the wolf against his will.

“Don’t be too nice, you might hurt yourself.”

A tongue clicked, before the wolf stood up. Before he could stop himself, Shoyo’s hand shot out, reaching for whatever he could touch first and grabbing a wrist. “Wait! You can…you can stay.” He didn’t hear anything, nor did he feel any movement under his fingers. “I…I want you to stay,” he tried again in a soft murmur.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes. Stay.” His thumb brushed against a leaping pulse. “Please.”

“…Okay.” The wrist in Shoyo’s grip slid up, until there were fingers squeezing around his. “If you’re sure.”

“I already said I am!”

“Alright, alright.” The words were exasperated, but Shoyo could hear a note of laughter in them, and his smile broadened as he heard the wolf settle back down next to the futon. He had the irrational urge to invite the wolf into the futon—it was too big for just himself anyway—but he thankfully managed to bite back the words. He just laid there, and listened to the noises next to him as they faded and settled into deep, quiet breaths, and finally fell asleep.

That night, he didn’t dream. And when he woke up the next morning, he was alone, with not even a trace of warmth on the floor next to him to reveal that he’d had a nighttime companion.

#at the end of the sun #ateots #kagehina #shobio #haikyuu!! #kagehina big bang 2022 #kagehinabigbang2022 #kagehina big bang #kagehinabigbang #pearl writes #pearl's stuff #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #haikyu!! #hq!! #haikyuu #haikyu #kagehina fics #kagehina fanfics #kagehina fanfic #kagehina fic #shobio fics #shobio fanfics #shobio fanfic #shobio fic #haikyuu fics #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fanfics

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 6: Adjustments

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: T; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Miwa Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 4,817; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: Despite recent discoveries, the wolf remains unable to explain anything to Shoyo. Luckily, it doesn't take long for a new potential source of information to introduce herself.    

A/N: Written for the Kagehina Big Bang 2022! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

What was the general etiquette for interacting with a talking wolf who’d been revealed to be a human under unknown circumstances? It had already been tricky finding a sense of normality with their strange situation when the wolf was just…well, a wolf. A wolf who could talk, sure, but still just a wolf.

But a wolf who could talk and turned into a human at night? It didn’t…it didn’t make sense. None of this made sense, but it felt like every time Shoyo finally wrapped his mind around everything, something else cropped up that unsettled him all over again.

Food seemed like as good as anything to ease the awkwardness that would no doubt hang heavy between them. Now that Shoyo knew the wolf was a man, he figured he might as well start making two servings of the meals he’d only been making for himself.

The next morning, the wolf found him in the kitchen and stared at the extra plate as though Shoyo had served him poison, ears flat against his skull and tail low. “...What’s that?”

“Breakfast?” Shoyo barely managed to keep his embarrassment from spiking into anger. It was a hard-won battle. “I thought, since you’re really a human, that maybe you’d want…human food.”

The wolf’s eyes flickered from the plate to Shoyo, his ears raising and tail relaxing the longer he stared. He finally let out that little huff, and when he spoke, his voice carried a note of the laughter that Shoyo always heard in his huffs. “A wolf can’t eat rice. I wouldn’t be able to move for a day.”

“Oh…well, fine. I’ll just…save it for my lunch, then.” Hot embarrassment prickled up his neck. So much for trying to make things less awkward.

A heavy silence fell over the room as the wolf watched Shoyo do his best to make sure the food would stay good until lunchtime, and Shoyo knew he could see the flush beginning to creep up his neck and to his ears. “Uh,” the wolf suddenly piped up, “if…if you wouldn’t mind, I could eat something you make for dinner. Then I could eat it when I’m a human. It…it looks good. Your cooking. Smells good, too.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Shoyo stared a little dumbly at the wolf before he realized he was waiting for him to agree to or reject the idea. “I mean, yeah! Yeah, I can…I can make you dinner. Sure.”

“Sure. Thanks,” the wolf echoed.

Shoyo was prepared to let the silence fall again, but then something occurred to him. “Hold on, if you’ve been a human at night, then what did you eat? A human can’t eat raw meat.”

“Looks like some of your mom’s training actually got through your thick skull.” Amusement softened the taunting words, and Shoyo gave him a little shove, trying to hold on to his annoyed frown even as relief over the awkwardness lifting eased his tense shoulders. “I, uh…I used the food that you found when you got here. There was less of it, and I’m not very good at cooking, but I could still pull something together.”

Shoyo hummed as he turned that information over and carried his food to the engawa, the wolf trailing after him like a shadow. When he froze at the threshold of the house, he felt a furry weight bump into his legs. “It was you!”

“Ow, what the—what?”

“The freshly-chopped wood! It was you!” Shoyo gaped after the wolf as he skirted around him and curled up on the porch. “And before I got here, you were doing all the chores at night…that’s why you weren’t good at it, it was because you couldn’t see, not because you were doing them as a wolf.”

“Congrats, detective, you figured it out,” the wolf grumbled, resting his chin on his paws. “Didn’t think you’d noticed the wood.”

“Of course I did! Who wouldn’t notice a bunch of wood randomly appearing?”

“You didn’t say anything.”

“Because I knew you’d make fun of me,” Shoyo mumbled, settling down next to the wolf. “You would’ve acted like I was crazy, like you weren’t the one doing it.”

“You weren’t supposed to know I was a human at night.” The wolf squinted an eye open. “And would you have believed me if I said anything?”

“Maybe!” He felt that squinted eye on him like a weight, making him squirm in his seat until he sighed and admitted, “…Probably not.”

“Thought so.”

Shoyo waited for the wolf to close his eyes again before he looked at him, taking in the sleek black fur, large paws, and thick tail. How did all of that turn into a human? Especially a human as tall and lean as the man he’d pinned down the previous night? Did changing hurt? How long had he been like this?

“What?”

“Huh?”

The wolf’s eyes stayed closed, but an ear flicked towards Shoyo. “Why’re you staring at me?”

Shoyo shrugged as he finished chewing. “Just thinking…how long did you think you’d be able to hide being a human at night from me? Especially when you’re sneaking in and sleeping next to me?”

“I managed it this long, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, only because I was sleeping so heavily. That was never going to last.”

���I didn’t know that. Just thought it was a lucky break.”

Shoyo snorted. “Sure.”

He kept eating, not noticing the wolf’s eyes blinking open until he heard, “I…I can sleep somewhere else. If you’re uncomfortable with me coming in.”

The wolf barely finished speaking before he was flinching away from a flicked grain of rice. “I already said I was fine with it,” Shoyo sighed, “Quit trying to change my mind. Didn’t you say that you…have to do it, anyway?”

“Well…yeah, but…that doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to be okay with it.”

“Did I sound forced last night? Because it felt like I was forcing you.”

He grinned at the sound of a huff. “Fine, fine…thank you.”

———————~☾~———————

The wolf departed after breakfast, off to fulfill Shoyo’s request for fish, “whatever you can find in the river.”

With the weather continuing to warm, he’d flipped the order of his day, training in the morning before the sun peaked in the sky, then completing some chores indoors in the steamy afternoons.

That morning he was practicing his archery, aiming for the deepest notches in the logs surrounding the yard. Pretty soon, he’d have to find new targets and fix the damaged wood. The last thing he needed was to crack the logs in half with his archery, even if it offered a chance to impress the wolf. Any admiration he inspired would no doubt be overwhelmed by annoyance.

But that could wait until afterwards. For now, he nocked an arrow and drew the bowstring back, aiming at the fence…when he heard the sound of steps on the path. Not the wolf’s steps. Human steps, in the middle of the day, when the wolf was still very much a wolf.

Shoyo whirled around, re-aiming the arrow as soon as his eyes landed on the intruder.

“Woah!”

He faltered. The intruder was a young woman, a few years older than himself, with black hair and dark blue eyes that sparked recognition in some part of his mind. She was dressed as though she tried (and failed) to wear simple clothing—the outfit itself was simple, but made of fine materials, much finer than anything his family could afford. The most modest thing she wore was a leather string around her neck, adorned only by a dark blue stone that Shoyo recognized, with a jolt in his stomach, as a match to his bracelet.

There was a horse loaded with several packs tied just past the gate, and the woman carried another pack on her back, leaving her hands free to be held up in a placating gesture. “Woah,” she repeated, a little more calmly. “Who are you?”

“Who are you?” Shoyo returned, the tension of his bowstring lessening a bit.

“I’m…well…family. Family of the, uh…owner of this house.”

It was the least-convincing explanation Shoyo had ever heard. “You’re lying.”

“I promise I’m not. And anyway, I’m not the stranger here. Who are you, and where is—?”

“Nee-san?”

Shoyo’s shoulders relaxed at the sound of the wolf’s voice, his relief distracting him from what he’d called the stranger. The woman’s shoulders and hands dropped, and a sigh huffed out of her. “There you are! Who is this guy?”

“Who am I—?”

“He’s my guest,” the wolf interrupted, fur rising along his neck and ears lowering. “I’m helping him, and he’s…helping me in return.”

The woman’s eyes widened before she nodded slowly with understanding. “I see.”

Shoyo felt like he was listening to a conversation in a language he only partially understood, and it made him feel foolish, especially standing there with his bow and arrow hanging uselessly in front of him. He tried to pick out what he could understand: this woman was familiar with the wolf, seemed to know more about the curse than Shoyo did, and had been called—“Okami-san,” he said, eyes widening and jumping between the wolf and the woman, “you called her ‘Nee-san.’ Is she…?”

“Oh. Yeah. She’s, uh…she’s my big sister.” His ears tilted back as he turned to the woman. “He already knows about…about me at night.”

“Well…that was quick,” she sighed with a glint in her eye. “‘Okami-san,’ hm?”

“He hasn’t given me anything better to call him,” Shoyo said, raising his chin despite the warmth rising to his cheeks. “All I know about him is that he’s a wolf, so. Okami-san.”

“That’s not all you know about me,” the wolf grumbled, ears leaning down even more.

“Oh, sure, maybe I can call you ‘Voice-san.’ Or how about ‘Sneak-san’? ‘Creep-san’?”

“Shut up.” The wolf stepped up just enough to bump his head into Shoyo’s hip, pulling a surprised laugh from him. “Nee-san, what’re you doing here?”

The thoughtful look that had fallen over her face was quickly swept away by annoyance. “Oh, that’s rich. You asked me to come here, something about—”

“Okay, alright, I remember!” the wolf suddenly interrupted, ears lowering just a bit as he stole a glance at Shoyo. “Let’s talk somewhere else.”

“Why can’t I hear?” There was the edge of a whine in Shoyo’s voice, but he didn’t care. He was too nervous to care. It already felt like the arrival of the wolf’s sister had popped the peaceful bubble they had been living in, and now the idea of the wolf talking alone with her made anxiety prickle through Shoyo.

“It’s family stuff. I’ll be back soon.” Shoyo didn’t know what his face looked like when the wolf looked up at him, but whatever he saw made him press his head under Shoyo’s hand while his tail slowly swung. “Quit worrying, dumbass. Everything’s okay.”

The fond taunt and the fur under his shaking fingers helped Shoyo’s next breath come steadier. “Okay,” he sighed.

The wolf lingered for another beat, before pulling away with a gentle nudge of his nose to Shoyo’s palm. “Follow me,” he muttered to his sister, leading the way down the path. She trailed after him, though not without stealing another glance at Shoyo and offering another smile.

At least she seemed nice. Nicer than the wolf had on their first meeting. But Shoyo noticed that she hadn’t offered her name, just like the wolf, meaning Shoyo still didn’t have any clues about who the wolf could’ve been before being cursed. His sister’s dark blue eyes and black hair were distantly familiar, but that was because she shared those features with the wolf. Shoyo couldn’t recall ever meeting someone who had looked like her before, and she clearly didn’t remember ever meeting him.

With a sigh, he gathered up his arrows, put them and the bow away, and turned his attention to repairing the wood barrier. He couldn’t focus on archery, not with his mind so preoccupied.

Shoyo wasn’t sure how long they were gone, only that by the time they returned, he had finished repairs on three of the barrier’s logs. He had just started on the fourth log when the silence of the yard was broken by a sing-song, “Hinata!”

His shoulders shot up at the sudden call, and he was slow as he turned around to see the wolf’s sister smiling at him from the yard’s entrance. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you! I heard you’re a samurai, is that true?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“‘Ma’am,’” she echoed with a cringe. “None of that. Just call me Nee-san! A big strong soldier like you should have no problems unloading my poor horse, right?”

“Um…I guess. I mean, yeah, yes, right!”

Her smile stayed bright and kind as she watched him hastily set aside his tools and brush his hands clean, though he could spot an edge of amusement lining her pretty mouth. “Just over here,” she directed when Shoyo crossed the entrance. Only then did he spot the wolf where he sat near the horse, quietly taking in the packs. To Shoyo’s surprise, the horse didn’t seem at all skittish, despite being so near a wolf. Maybe it could sense that the wolf wasn’t just a wolf. Maybe it could even recognize him for who he was before.

“First, let’s get the food inside.” The cheerful words snapped Shoyo out of his musings, and he automatically followed her directions to lift the first pack off. He could feel the weight of rice and vegetables as he shifted the pack to his shoulder, trying to be careful to not bruise any of the vegetables on the way to the kitchen.

He left the pack on the floor, planning to put everything away once the rest of the things were unloaded from the horse. As he crossed the yard again, he could see some of the smaller packs piled on the engawa, and he was surprised to see only one more large pack on the horse. The poor animal practically wilted with relief when Shoyo lifted the last pack off of it, and he couldn’t help giving it a soothing pat before he walked off.

This time, when he left the kitchen empty-handed, he found the wolf and his sister sitting on the engawa. The wolf sat like he had the first time Shoyo had ever seen him—straight-backed, paws close and neat on the smooth wood, tail laid flat against his legs. His sister was more relaxed, leaning back on her hands as her feet dangled from the porch. Shoyo couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other, could only watch the sister’s lips move around quiet words and the wolf’s jaw move in response.

By the time Shoyo drew close enough to hear anything, the sister had already noticed him and was straightening with a smile. “There you are! All set?”

“Yeah, everything’s off the horse.”

“Perfect!” She clapped her hands together before pushing herself off the porch. “Okami-kun here will help you put the rest of this away.”

“Nee-san—!”

“It’s mostly cleaning and cooking supplies, and some bathing things,” she continued over the wolf’s whine. Shoyo bit back smile—he was well-acquainted with the joy of teasing a younger sibling with silly nicknames. “I guess since you’re here to take care of things during the day, I can bring some sewing needles and thread as well. Do you know how to mend things?”

“Yes, Nee-san. It was one of the first things my mom made me learn.”

“Oh, perfect! Wow, a young man who actually knows how to take care of himself.” She looked at the wolf with a grin that looked more like a sneer. “Imagine that.”

The wolf glowered back, but stayed silent, choosing to lay down with his paws crossed primly in front of him. Shoyo wasn’t sure how a wolf could look regal, but this one seemed to manage it at the most random of times.

When the wolf’s sister turned back to Shoyo, her grin had softened with actual friendliness. “Well, if everything’s sorted, I’ll head out. I already got Okami-kun’s requests for next month. Anything I can get for you?”

Shoyo’s brows furrowed. “Next month?”

“Wow, Okami-kun, you really didn’t tell him anything about me?”

“He didn’t know I was human until last night. And it’s not my fault you had to travel with your family.”

“Don’t be bitter, kid. It’s not a good look.”

“I’m not bitter,” the wolf mumbled, sounding very bitter.

His sister sighed before explaining, “I try to come by every month or so to bring some food and house supplies and anything else our wolf here can’t get on his own. I’m the only one who knows about this place, so I get to play delivery girl for this brat.” The wolf’s ears flattened, but he couldn’t respond before his sister continued, “So if there’s anything you’ve been needing, now’s your chance.”

Shoyo knew, he knew there were things he’d needed. But now that a chance to get them had finally appeared, he couldn’t remember a single one of those things. All he could remember was his mother’s tutted advice to “always note down what you need. You never remember it when you need it.”

His eyes scanned the yard as he scrambled to remember, and eventually landed on the patch of earth he’d been cleaning and tilling. “Oh! Could we have seeds?”

“Seeds?”

“Yeah. I wanted to try gardening while the weather was warm. Maybe I could grow some of our own vegetables and save you from bringing them.”

“There’s a thought,” she hummed, following Shoyo’s gaze to the empty garden. “Alright! I’ll add vegetable seeds to the list! Anything else?”

“Would an extra futon be too much?”

“I already asked for one,” the wolf told him, his voice surprisingly gentle and his eyes soft with gratitude.

A happy flush warmed Shoyo’s cheeks as he turned back to the wolf’s sister. “Then no, nothing else that I can think of.”

She smirked, the knowing glint in her eye making Shoyo feel caught. “Well, make sure you think of some more next time. But alright, sounds good. It’s time I head out, I wanna get home before dark.” She leaned over to grab at the wolf’s snout and gently shake him, before letting go to caress the fur between his eyes. “Take care of yourself, squirt. And take care of your guest, too. I like him, so I better not hear anything about you bullying him.”

“…Bye, Nee-san.”

That was all the wolf said, drawing a snort from his sister as she turned to Shoyo and held his hands with a gentle squeeze. “Hinata-kun, it was nice meeting you! Thank you for agreeing to stay with him, I think…I think you’ll be good for him. You already have been.”

There was a soft growl from the porch, but the wolf didn’t argue against what she said. The pure gratitude and kindness shining from her lovely features made Shoyo’s heart skip a beat, and his throat felt dry when he answered, “Of course. Thank you, Nee-san.”

When she eventually rode off, Shoyo was struck by how quiet the yard seemed. “She’s nice,” he murmured, his normal volume feeling too loud.

“I guess.” The apathetic answer didn’t take away from the peaceful drag of the wolf’s tail across the wood.

“If she’s your sister,” Shoyo mused, sitting next to him on the porch, “then do you look like her?”

It was a simple question, if a little leading. He expected to get a grumbled refusal to answer, something about trying to cheat the newly-established rules.

Instead, he watched with a sinking heart as that tail fell still. “…I dunno,” the wolf murmured after a few silent beats. “I don’t remember.”

———————~☾~———————

Shoyo tried to stay awake when he slid inside his futon that night, determined to be awake for the wolf’s entrance. His body had other ideas—the moment his head hit his pillow, he fell into a light, fitful sleep. When his eyes next blinked open, his room was pitch black, and he could hear soft breaths next to him. “Okami-san?”

“Spirits, do you ever stay asleep?”

“Kinda hard to do when there’s someone creeping in every night.”

“It’s just me; why are you so tense?”

“I dunno…it’s different, knowing you’re a human at night.”

Silence fell back over the room with his confession. For a moment, Shoyo was struck with the irrational fear that the wolf had somehow slipped back out. His hand slid out of his futon and crept across the tatami mats, hoping to brush against the wolf’s human body.

The cool mats had just begun to warm when the wolf murmured, “It’s still me.”

“Hm?”

“I…I know I hid my…changing from you, and I know it’s weird, knowing I’m human, but…it’s still me. I’m still the wolf you’ve been living with and getting to know, just…differently…shaped?”

A quiet laugh bubbled from Shoyo’s lips. “Differently shaped?” he echoed, laughter still coloring his words.

“Shut up! You know what I mean!”

It was new and strange, hearing that low voice brighten with actual laughter and not just the huff Shoyo had gotten so used to. It was a sound he never heard from the wolf during the day, and yet, somehow, it helped him finally relax in his futon. This…person, this man, really was his wolf. He didn’t have anything to worry about.

His anxiety eased and was quickly replaced by curiosity. “Is it weird for you? To talk to me as a human?”

That sweet laughter faded into a silence that felt more thoughtful than heavy. “…Not really,” the wolf answered, his words slow and deliberate, as though he were carefully considering each one. “When we’re just lying here, it feels like another conversation we’d have on the porch. But if you touch me, then…then I remember.”

“Remember what?”

“What I am. When I’m a wolf, you pet me like you would any other dog. But when I’m a human…I dunno. The only time you’ve touched me in this form was to tackle me to the ground. And…and I know you wouldn’t touch me otherwise. Two guys usually don’t, y’know?”

What he was saying made sense, but Shoyo still felt a prick of guilt. “Do you…want me to touch you more when you’re like this?”

“No,” the wolf said with a soft laugh. “Not if you have to force yourself.”

“Do you want me to touch you less when you’re a wolf?”

“No!” This time, the answer sounded almost desperate, and Shoyo could feel his heart squeeze tight. “No, I…I like it. You don’t have to stop unless you want to.”

“I don’t. I like, um…petting you.” For the second night in a row, Shoyo was grateful for the darkness hiding his warm cheeks.

“Oh. Uh…I like it, too.” His voice sounded tight, betraying the blush that Shoyo couldn’t see. The thought made him smile, even if he couldn’t imagine a face beneath the blush.

At least he had a reference of sorts. His mind wandered to the wolf’s sister, her pale skin and dark eyes and black hair. It was nothing he couldn’t have already guessed from the wolf’s midnight gaze and onyx fur, but seeing those features set on a delicate, pretty face had still made Shoyo’s heart skip a beat. “What about your sister?” he blurted.

“…What about my sister?”

“Does…does she treat you any differently as a wolf?”

The moment the words left his lips, he regretted them. The wolf couldn’t even remember what his human form looked like anymore. How could he remember how his sister treated him?

So when he got a soft laugh in response, surprise doused the regret burning at his ears. “Not really. She’s always liked hugging me and tussling with me. Maybe she’s a little rougher with me now, but that’s just because I’m…I dunno, sturdier? So she knows she can’t hurt me, and she knows I have to hold back if I want to fight back.”

With every word he said, Shoyo could feel a smile growing across his face, until his cheeks practically ache from how wide it was. A giggle escaped him, making the wolf mutter, “What?”

“Nothing! Just…I’m the same with Natsu.” His chest warmed as he sifted through his memories. “When she became a toddler, she started climbing on me whenever she saw me. It got so bad, my mom started calling her ‘monkey girl.’ She hates it now, so of course we just call her that more.”

His smile faltered when he remembered the one time she didn’t whine about it, right before he left with the wolf. He cleared his throat before continuing, “I think she could tell I was holding back on her, and she really wanted me to show her what I’d been learning at the palace. I ended up having to show her gentler moves so she’d stop whining.”

He didn’t notice how tight his voice had gotten, not until he heard a soft, “…Hinata?”

“Sorry,” he choked out, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, “sorry, I just…I miss them a lot. I thought I’d be fine, I should be used to this from our year-long trips to Edo, but…I dunno, it hurts so much more.”

“Don’t apologize,” the wolf murmured. “You’re doing this because you love her. Of course you miss her.”

The soft, kind words just worsened the pressure in Shoyo’s throat. “I…I want to see them,” he whispered, keeping his hands pressed to his burning eyes. “We made the trip here in a day. Can’t I at least…check on them?”

“No. I’m sorry, but no.”

He’d expected that answer, but that didn’t keep his stomach from dropping. “Why not?”

There was a long pause, and for a moment, Shoyo thought the wolf wasn’t going to answer at all. “You were right,” he suddenly said, “about how long the trip should’ve taken us from your home. The only reason it went so quickly was because of the bracelet I gave you.”

Shoyo’s fingers automatically sought out the blue stone that sat warm against his wrist. “The bracelet?”

“Yeah. It’s…it’s magic.” He fell quiet, and Shoyo could practically hear his mind churning for the best way to explain everything. That was the only reason he managed to stay silent and let the wolf take his time. “It…it shortens the trip here. But the magic is…it’s limited. My sister doesn’t have to use it much, because she lives closer and can get here on horseback. But for a trip as long as the one from your home, the stone would only be able to handle two round trips.”

The wolf lapsed into a silence that let the gravity of his words sink, syrupy slow and bitter, into Shoyo’s mind. “…Fuck,” he finally breathed, a new lump closing off his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” With deep breaths and hard swallows, Shoyo was eventually able to murmur, “What about you?”

“Huh?”

“How long does the trip take for you?”

The wolf let out a slow breath. “…A day, if I’m quick.”

“Okay,” Shoyo said, words coming slow with his pondering, “okay…then could you…could you check on them?”

“When?”

“I dunno. Once a month, once a week, something like that? Just until it’s time for you to harvest the yamakumo. I just…I want to make sure they’re okay.”

“And if they’re not?”

“Then I’ll go to them. If it’s an emergency, then I’ll go, and I’ll come back.”

“Even if you won’t be able to make that trip again?”

“Yeah. I’ll use the rest of the stone’s magic at the end of our year together. I won’t break our deal, Okami-san, but if something happens and Natsu can’t last that long, then…I want to be there, for her and for our mom. Please.”

He waited with baited breath for the wolf’s response. All he could hear was the sound of their breathing, slow and steady and eventually synchronizing. Only then did the wolf answer, “Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Really?!”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” the wolf grumbled, pulling Shoyo’s lips into a small smile. “I’ll go once a month, until it starts snowing. Then I’ll have to save my energy for the harvesting.”

“Of course. Thank you, Okami-san!” The hand that was still between them reached out blindly towards the wolf, managing to grab his arm. He could feel muscles tensing and relaxing beneath his fingertips as he gave a gentle squeeze. “Thank you,” he repeated softly.

“You’re welcome.” At the quiet words, Shoyo began loosening his fingers. But before he let go, he felt broader, calloused fingers covering his and giving them a gentle squeeze in return.

When he eventually pulled away, he could feel the ghost of the wolf’s touch like a burn…the sweetest burn he’d ever felt.

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[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 4: Warming Up

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: T; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 2,984; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: As spring begins to warm into summer, the wolf and Shoyo begin to warm to each other.

A/N: Written for the @kagehinabigbang! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

He was back in the familiar woods of his childhood home, holding the familiar weight of his father’s bow. Uneasiness pricked at his senses, telling him something wasn’t right.

But this time, when he heard heavy steps, he didn’t feel relief nor excitement. His uneasiness just stayed and intensified until dread sat like a rock in his throat. He knew those weren’t his father’s steps. He knew following them would just lead him to an unknown creature.

Yet his feet still carried him forward, towards the sound, and halted when the steps stopped.

He didn’t raise his bow nor aim an arrow. When that piercing gaze landed on him, he was already frozen, watching the shape turn towards him. His eyes met the creature’s, and for the first time, he felt surprise rather than fear.

He…he knew those eyes. They looked the way they had since he’d started having these dreams, but now he could recognize that dark blue, seemingly infinite gaze. It belonged to the wolf.

The sudden realization gave the rest of the black shape a more definite form. Sure enough, it was the wolf, staring steadily at Shoyo and taking slow steps towards him.

He waited for the fear to come as the wolf approached, but none came. If anything, he felt the relief of recognition.

The wolf came to a stop a few paces away, sitting neatly like he had the first time they met and gazing at Shoyo. They stared at each other in a comfortable silence, until the wolf took a deep breath. Shoyo tensed as he watched his mouth open, nervous for what he would say.

The twitters of calling birds greeted Shoyo when his eyes snapped open, though the sound was strangely muffled, and the birdsong didn’t sound like anything he was used to hearing on the palace grounds nor at home.

Everything was strange: the sound of the birds, the smell of the space, the feeling of the futon on his skin, and most of all, the look of the room. A spike of confused panic made him jolt upright, eyes wild as they swung around the shadowy room. His memory was slow to catch up with him, gradually reminding him of where he was, and why he was there.

Right. Natsu, the flowers, the wolf…their deal.

How long would it take for the birds of the mountain to sound as familiar as those of Edo, the palace, or his home?

He shook himself out of his half-awake moping and focused on cleaning up and getting ready to face the day…a day that seemed almost daunting with how open and empty it was.

He settled on tugging a plain yukata over his shoulders, the spring morning still chilly enough to keep him from switching to his lighter summer clothes. The rest of his routine felt similar, but the new setting made it all a little…off.

It didn’t help that his window had somehow closed in the night, blocking out the sunlight and making his room dim. Opening it eased the itch of anxiety under his skin, but not by much.

It wasn’t until he was sitting on the engawa and eating breakfast that he realized the other reason for his unease: the silence. The wolf wasn’t there as he shuffled around getting himself and breakfast ready. He was well and truly alone, with no Yamaguchi or Natsu to shake awake, nor his mother or Tsukishima to nag at him.

“Stop that,” he muttered to himself when he felt his throat tightening. “No more crying.”

His tears were replaced by restless jitters after breakfast, when he was once again faced with a whole day to himself: no schedule, no duties, no mandated training. It was like he was a little boy again, only able to watch his father work and train before he was allowed to begin training as well. Except even then, he’d had his father to fall back on to fill his day.

Well…not being at the palace didn’t mean he stopped being a samurai. He’d noticed a number of things that needed fixing around the house—might as well see what he remembered from the last time his house on palace grounds needed repairs.

He decided to start outside, since the weather still wasn’t too hot. Which was how the wolf ended up coming home to see him fixing the hangings of the storm panels. “What’re you doing?”

Shoyo just barely caught himself before he stumbled off his stool, cursing as he found his balance again. “Spirits, you scared me! Where’ve you been?”

“Hunting.” As though to prove himself, he nudged forward the rabbit carcass at his paws. “You said you’d rather I brought you something in the morning, so…here.”

“Oh. I didn’t think you’d remember that.”

“Yeah, well…I did. Now you answer my question!”

Shoyo bit back a grin at the petulant tone of the wolf’s voice. It was already fun to tease him, but hearing such a childish tone come from a big black wolf was so bewildering and funny. “Tightening the panels. If a big thunderstorm comes through, these panels might not be able to handle the winds, so I figured I oughta make sure they’re more secure.”

It was the wolf’s turn to let out a surprised, “Oh.”

“You’re welcome.” Shoyo felt like he was teaching Natsu manners all over again.

The wolf huffed and shot back, “So’re you. Where do you want this?”

“The kitchen. I’ll get to it when I’m done with this.”

“…How long will that take?”

“As long as it needs to!” Shoyo frowned at the wolf, who stared back with his head cocked sweetly to the side. “I’m almost done, don’t rush me.”

With another huff, the wolf picked up the rabbit and disappeared into the house. Shoyo didn’t watch him go, preferring to focus on the task at hand and not on the smile he was fighting to bite back.

———————~☾~———————

For all that he’d fretted about not having any structure to his days, Shoyo ended up being able to build a pretty decent routine for himself. The mornings were usually spent on taking care of the house, whether that was through repairs or cleaning.

Then, after lunch, he would turn his attention to training—or at least, whatever was the closest thing to it when he was all by himself. The wood fencing enclosing the yard was gradually earning more and more nicks and holes from his archery practice, and the little training dummy he’d noticed on the first night was better than nothing for practicing his drills.

It didn’t take long for the wolf to begin joining him as he trained, curling up on the engawa and quietly watching Shoyo go through his exercises. At first, he had been trying to secretly watch Shoyo from just outside the fence or just behind the storm panels, until Shoyo called out, “If you’re gonna watch, you don’t have to be a creep about it.”

It took a few beats before the wolf slumped out from behind the storm door, ears flat and tail hanging low between his legs as he sat on the engawa. “...I’m not being a creep.”

“You were acting like one,” Shoyo snorted, returning to his exercises as he kept talking. “You could have just watched from there. I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I…I didn’t want to intrude,” the wolf muttered, slowly relaxing as Shoyo continued training without changing his mind about letting him watch. “I know this is something you did when you were working, so I didn’t…I didn’t want to get in the way of something that, you know…reminded you of home.”

That was something Shoyo still wasn’t used to, even after the days turned into weeks at the little house: how deeply thoughtful the wolf was. It didn’t take him long to realize that the wolf’s gruff nature was more awkwardness than actual rudeness, and that he had ways beyond words to express his care and concern. But it was one thing to know that, and another to be reminded of it with no warning. Shoyo still couldn’t think of a better response than just…clamming up and continuing whatever he was doing while hoping his burning cheeks weren’t too noticeable.

So he did exactly that, turning stolidly away from the wolf and automatically going through the rest of his exercises as though he wasn’t distracted by how flustered the wolf still made him. He was sure it was just something that would take a little longer to get used to.

Despite the moments of flustered surprise, Shoyo found himself quickly feeling comfortable around the wolf, until living with a talking wolf no longer felt so strange. His days were soon filled with teasing and taunts, and more than once, he wondered at how easy their bantering felt. In a matter of days, they were bouncing off each other in a way that had taken him months, if not nearly a year, of living with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima to reach.

Days passed, and the weather slowly grew warmer, until his training sessions under the sun began to feel a little stifling, even after he had switched to his lighter jinbei. He didn’t think much of the choice to shrug off the thin top and continue practicing in only his shorts. Training while shirtless became a common practice around the samurai houses in warm weather, and Shoyo figured if he didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about around other men, he really didn’t have to be worried about going shirtless around a wolf.

He definitely didn’t expect his choice to be greeted with a yelp. His eyes shot to the entrance of the fence, where the wolf stood stock-still. His stillness was the only real sign of his surprise—his ears still stayed up, his fur stayed smooth, and his tail wasn’t tucked between his legs. Quite the opposite—it looked like the tail was quivering with the urge to wag. “You okay, Okami-san?”

“Uh. I. I wasn’t. Um. You’re— Why aren’t you wearing anything?”

Shoyo’s brows furrowed. “I am wearing something.”

“Y-yeah, but it’s…less. Than usual.”

“Oh…well, it’s hot! You’re not bothered by the heat?”

“I hadn’t…really noticed it.” The wolf gave himself a little shake before finally padding across the yard to sit on the porch. “Sorry, I just, uh…was surprised.”

Shoyo could practically feel a line forming between his brows. “Do you…want me to put my jacket back on?”

“No! No, it’s, uh. It’s fine. You can keep going.”

Shoyo stared at the wolf for another moment, making sure he looked more like his usual relaxed self. Only then did he refocus on his forms. “How come you like watching me train so much?” he asked as he glided over the soft ground.

“Who says I like it?”

“You’re an awful liar, Okami-san.” He didn’t need to look over to know the wolf’s ears were lowering.

“It’s just…interesting. I didn’t exactly get to watch any samurai train regularly until you came here. And you’re g—” The wolf himself off, ducking his head to stare at his paws.

Shoyo easily caught his stutter, and grinned at him from under his raised arm. “You think I’m good at this?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh, right, you were going to say I’m great.”

“No, I wasn’t!”

“Whatever you say, Okami-san!” He snickered when he looked over and saw the wolf standing up, assuming he was going to wander off with a huff.

Then, as he turned away and resumed his motions, he felt a big weight suddenly shove at his hip, making him stumble out of his form. “Woah, what—?” He looked down to see the wolf at his side, teeth bared but ears still pricked and tail wagging playfully. “What was that for?!” Shoyo whined, raising his knee to gently nudge the wolf away.

But before his knee could meet the wolf’s side, he was slipping under Shoyo’s raised leg and nudging it up. Shoyo prided himself on his sense of balance, but the abrupt lift of his leg made him pinwheel his arms, only for him to fall back with an undignified “oof!”

He moved to scramble back up, but suddenly there was black moving across his vision, ending in a pair of dark blue eyes staring him down and a paw carefully, but firmly, holding his shoulder to the ground. “Is that how a ‘great’ samurai fights?” the wolf said, his smug tone making Shoyo scowl.

“That wasn’t a fight, that was a trick!” he snapped back. “Get off me.”

The wolf just stared at him, and for a moment Shoyo thought that he was going to refuse. Instead, he froze at the feeling of a cold nose bumping into his cheek before the wolf stepped away. “Don’t samurai have to be prepared for tricks, too?”

“Not from grouchy wolves,” Shoyo grumbled, pushing up to his feet with a quiet groan and brushing himself off. “Jerk.”

“Dumbass.”

“Stupid!”

“Idiot!”

“Quit being mean!” Shoyo cried with a playful note in his whiny voice. “You’re the one who asked me to be here!”

He hadn’t meant the complaint seriously, just thought of it as another tease. The wolf didn’t seem to realize that—he went still, his tail drooping to his legs. “...You’re right. Sorry.”

“I didn’t— it’s not— it’s okay.” Shoyo hadn’t seen the wolf look so…guilty since his first day there. He floundered, desperate to reassure him without knowing how. In a burst of desperation, he raised his sword-less hand to rest between the wolf’s ears.

The wolf went very still under his hand, apart from his tail slowly swishing back and forth again. “...What’re you doing?”

“I dunno. Making you feel better?” Shoyo gave an experimental scratch at the soft fur, and had to choke back a giggle of delight when the wolf pressed into his hand and wagged his tail faster. “Is it working?”

“Mm…you don’t have to. I know it’s my fault you’re here. I haven’t even done anything for you in return.”

“Okami-saaaan,” Shoyo groaned. “Yeah, I’m here because of you, and I miss home, but…I am enjoying myself here. And you will do something in return. It’s not your fault the yamakumo isn’t in-season yet.”

The wolf gave a little growl of dissent, but didn’t stop leaning into Shoyo’s touch. Whether or not his guilt was fully eased, he was at least relaxed enough to tease, “Why were you groaning like an old man when you stood up?”

“I’m not old!”

“You sure sounded old.”

“I was aching from someone knocking me over,” Shoyo sniffed, pulling his hand away from a light tug at the wolf’s ear. “21’s not old! Neither is 22!”

The wolf’s ears perked in interest. “22? Is your birthday coming up?”

“Yeah, in the summer. Why?”

Those pricked ears relaxed, as though the wolf were trying to appear uninterested. “Just wondering when I can start calling you old.”

“22’s not old!” Shoyo glared after the wolf as he huffed and slipped back into the house. “I’m not old! Okami-san!”

———————~☾~———————

By the time Shoyo was cleaning up after dinner, he had already forgotten about the wolf’s burst of remorse. When his chirped, “Good night!” was returned with a soft, “Thank you. For earlier,” Shoyo could only blink for a moment before his memory caught up with him.

“Oh! Yeah, it was…it was honestly nothing. You just need to be nicer to yourself, Okami-san. And to me!”

The wolf snorted, but Shoyo didn’t miss how his slightly-lowered ears pricked back up. “Whatever. Good night, dumbass.”

Shoyo wrinkled his nose at the wolf, not bothering to hide the grin tugging at his lips.

Lately he’d been taking a little longer to finally fall asleep, and when he did, his sleep was lighter than he liked. It had been happening more and more now that he was a little more comfortably settled into his new life. Without the perpetual tension and nervousness that had clouded his early days, he no longer felt a bone-deep exhaustion that knocked him out the moment his head hit his pillow. No, now he had slipped back into the sleeping habits he’d developed as a soldier: a shallow unconsciousness that let him quickly snap awake and fall straight into fighting.

Without any real reason to wake up quickly, his sleep became a little restless and fitful, just enough to keep him from getting any deep sleep before the final hours of the night. He always spent a bit of time staring at the square of moonlight streaming into his room through the window he kept stubbornly leaving open, despite it always being closed in the morning.

That night, perhaps because of the playful tussle with the wolf, Shoyo felt a little more tired, and was able to slip into sleep quicker than usual.

And yet, his sleep wasn’t deep enough to keep him from hearing something strange: something, or someone, was shuffling around next to him. Shoyo couldn’t tell if he was still asleep or not, because when he blinked awake, he just found himself staring into a darkness so thick, he might as well have kept his eyes closed.

It was the first time he’d heard anyone in the room with him, but for some reason, he didn’t feel panic. He just turned to face the sound and mumbled, “Mm…Okami-san?”

The sounds cut off abruptly, plunging Shoyo into a silence that was almost as complete as the darkness. All he could hear was his own breathing, and another set of breaths that were so quiet, he wasn’t sure if he was really hearing them.

“...Yeah,” he finally heard, the familiar low voice making him relax back into his pillow. “Yeah, it’s me. Go back to sleep.”

“Mmkay…night…’kami…”

The last thing he remembered hearing was a soft laugh that wasn’t quite the wolf’s usual huff-laugh, and a quiet, “Good night, Hinata.”

#at the end of the sun #ateots #kagehina big bang 2022 #kagehinabigbang2022 #kagehina big bang #kagehinabigbang #kagehina #shobio #haikyuu!! #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #haikyu!! #hq!! #haikyuu #haikyu #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #fics #fanfics #fic #fanfic #kagehina fic #kagehina fics #kagehina fanfic #kagehina fanfics #shobio fic #shobio fics #shobio fanfic #shobio fanfics #haikyuu fics

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 3: The House in the Mountains

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: T; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 3,870; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: Shoyo gets to know his new home, and tries to know his new companion.

A/N: Written for the @kagehinabigbang! Special thanks once again to my beta, Lin, and my artist, Fish!!  Also, happiest of birthdays to our favorite blueberry boy and king of the court, Tobio Kageyama!! 💙 Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

The first hour of the trek passed in almost complete silence. Shoyo couldn’t remember the last time he actually, truly floundered with striking up conversation. What was he supposed to say? He already knew any attempts at asking the wolf how exactly he was able to speak would get shut down, as would any questions delving into why he was so adamant about Shoyo spending a year with him.

So he tried to ask about where he would be spending that year, and all the wolf muttered was, “You’ll see. It’s not that different from your mother’s house, just a little smaller.”

That was it. That was all he said. Shoyo’s wave of frustration was closely followed by a rush of panic. What…what was he doing? He couldn’t live a year like this, filled with a loneliness broken only by start-and-stop exchanges.

Natsu…you’re doing it for Natsu. That was all he needed to chase away the panic. Anything, anything would be worth it if it meant saving her. He clung to that, letting it ease the sorrow that stung when he noticed the papery birch slowly giving way to the thicker, rougher pine trees that covered the northern parts of the domain.

He was unfamiliar with this part of the woods, especially once they began venturing off of the main path. He was squinting at the moss on the trees, trying to figure out what direction they were walking in, when the wolf abruptly stopped and turned to Shoyo. “I nearly forgot. Open the pouch.”

Shoyo blinked. “Um…okay.” He obeyed the sudden instructions, though his confusion wasn’t eased when all he found was another sprig of yamakumo. “What…what am I looking for?��

The wolf’s huff sounded suspiciously like a snort. “It’s below that. You’re looking for a bracelet.”

“A bracelet?” Shoyo asked as he poked deeper into the pouch. “Why’re you giving me a bracelet?”

“Just…put it on. It’ll help with the journey.”

Something smooth bumped Shoyo’s finger, allowing him to catch and draw it from the pouch. It was a small, dark blue stone, a perfect match for the wolf’s dark eyes. The stone was the sole adornment on the woven bracelet, but Shoyo couldn’t stop staring at it, even as he slowly managed to tie the strap to his own wrist. “How’s this going to help?” he mumbled around the end that he held between his teeth to tighten the knot.

“It’ll provide some protection, and make the journey a little easier.”

“Didn’t think you’d be the superstitious sort.”

There was that strange, annoying huff-snort sound. “Whatever. Let’s go.”

And with that, silence fell back over them.

“Where…where are we going?” Shoyo quietly asked after another half-hour of silence. He couldn’t recognize any part of the forest around him, which only told him they had left the area surrounding the domain’s capital. He still couldn’t tell where they were heading, or even what direction they were trekking.

“We’ll be there by sundown,” the wolf grumbled, keeping his eyes stubbornly fixed ahead.

“That’s not an answer,” Shoyo grumbled back.

A low growl rumbled from the wolf, making Shoyo’s shoulders shoot up to his ears. “It is an answer. Just not the one you wanted.”

Despite his clear annoyance, he still didn’t bother to even look back at Shoyo. For some reason, that just irritated Shoyo even more. “You know…you asked me to come live with you. Why bother if you’re not even going to talk to me?”

The wolf suddenly stopped again, forcing Shoyo to stumble to a stop before he bumped into him. “That’s not— it isn’t—” Shoyo watched with some dread as the wolf’s fur rose along his neck. “Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand.” He wasn’t asking about his talking, not really…but maybe he could learn something.

It took a few breaths for the wolf’s fur to finally settle back down. And then, in a low, steady voice, he said, “We’re almost there. Come on.”

Well. It was worth a try.

Now that the wolf had mentioned the end of their journey, Shoyo noticed that the path was slowly getting brighter as more sunlight filtered through the thinning trees.

And through the fast-approaching edge of the forest, he could see a wall of rock that slowly turned into…the mountainside. It was a sight that Shoyo only ever saw on the daimyo’s journeys to and from Edo, because the domain’s mountain range was so far from the capital.

But when they finally crossed the edge of the trees, there was no mistaking what Shoyo was staring at. “This…this is…”

The wolf stared at him. “Yes?”

“We’re at the bottom of the mountains.”

“…Yes?”

The confirmation just made Shoyo more confused. “We’ve only been traveling for a day. A trip to the mountains would’ve taken me days on horseback, a week on foot.”

The wolf’s ears lowered a bit before perking up again, but that was enough to tell Shoyo there was yet another thing he wasn’t sharing. “Well, you’re here now. Do you want to see where you’ll be living, or are you going to keep staring?”

Shoyo’s confusion gave way to frustration as he frowned. He could count on his hands the number of times the wolf had spoken to him since they’d left his home, and they were almost all irritated or impatient. “You’re kind of a jerk, aren’t you, Okami-san?”

The wolf grew very still, and Shoyo suddenly felt like a deer being hunted. “What did you call me?”

“Okami-san? What else am I supposed to call you? You didn’t tell me your name!”

“Neither did you!”

“My name’s Shoyo Hinata!”

The wolf blinked. “…Oh.”

“What?”

“Just…you told me so easily.”

“We’re not all secretive weirdos like you.” Before the wolf could snap back at him, Shoyo readjusted his pack on his shoulders and brushed past him to continue down the path.

He hadn’t exactly imagined where he’d be living for the next year. He could only picture his own home, even though he knew it was unlikely he’d be living somewhere as nice and homey as his family’s little house.

What he saw was familiar in form only. If it weren’t for its diminutive size, he might have thought it belonged to a wealthy family, with its dark wood frame, glimmering tile roof, and the clean brightness of the shoji screens that he could see beyond the wood storm panels surrounding the engawa. It was strange to see storm panels around the porch when it wasn’t winter, but maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised, considering a wolf lived there—he couldn’t exactly take them on and off as needed.

Now that he thought about it— “Wait, this is your home?”

The wolf looked back at him from the engawa, his steady gaze carrying an edge of judgment. “Yes? Did you think I brought you to someone else's place?”

“But you’re a wolf. How can you even take care of a place like this?”

The wolf stared at him for another breath, before turning back to the house. “I have human guests sometimes. Come on.”

With every step he took towards the house, Shoyo noticed another thing in the small yard: a little storehouse, a fire pit, a patch of dirt that might have been a garden. But what made him pause was the sight of a wooden training dummy.

It was smaller than what he was used to at his home on the palace grounds, but well-used, and the thought of being able to somehow keep up with his training over the next year eased the knot of anxiety that had tightened in his stomach since they’d left his mother’s home.

“Hinata.”

He jumped and looked back at the house to see the wolf staring at him from the entrance. “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

The closer he got to the house, the more he started to see signs of wear. Some of the tiles on the roof had little chips in them, the storm panels were hung a little haphazardly, and the porch didn’t seem to have been polished, or even swept in quite some time. “It must be hard to do chores as a wolf,” he commented as he stepped onto the engawa.

“Hah?” It was hard to see what the wolf was emoting from the shadowy genkan, but from his voice alone, he sounded annoyed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not saying that to be mean!” Shoyo protested. “I’m just…I’m just saying! It must be hard, with…with your paws and everything!”

“You’re trying to say I’m doing a shitty job!”

“No, I’m not!” Yes, he was. But it was a little fun to be contrary, just to annoy the wolf.

As they argued, Shoyo kept following the wolf, automatically sliding off his shoes in the genkan and entering the main room. The genkan’s hardwood floor gave way to tatami mats beneath his bare feet—only then did he realize where he’d gone, and he slowed to a stop in the middle of the room.

It was slightly smaller than the main room of his family home. In the center was a fire pit, with a hook over it that Shoyo imagined a pot could hang from. The ceiling was tall and unpanelled, so that smoke could safely drift through the rafters and out of the house. The rest of the ceiling was paneled with the same dark wood as the engawa. The dark color could’ve made the room feel stifling, but Shoyo found it felt cozy instead.

That feeling extended to the rest of the home. There were two hallways branching off of different sides of the living room—the first one he wandered down led to the kitchen, bathing room, and a small storage room. As he poked through the closets in the living room and inspected the kitchen and bathing room, Shoyo was both startled and relieved to find everything he would need in a home: cleaning supplies, tucked away furniture, cooking utensils, and even well-stocked food stores.

“Who eats all of this?” he asked the wolf, looking over to where he sat in the kitchen’s door to the hallway. “It can’t be you, right? So who is this for?”

The questions seemed to irritate the wolf, if the fur rising along his neck was anything to go off of, but the wolf unexpectedly didn’t voice it. He just muttered, “You’re here because of me. I can’t let you starve after making you leave your home for a year.”

It was strange. Both what he said on the journey and what he was saying now made it sound like he didn’t want to ask Shoyo to live with him for a year. He sounded guilty about it, as though the reason were out of his hands. Shoyo didn’t know if he appreciated that or was annoyed by it.

He didn’t want to dwell on it.

The wolf followed Shoyo like a silent shadow, waiting by the door whenever he stepped inside to poke around. And Shoyo stayed quiet in return, keeping his opinions to himself and only asking additional questions about what he was allowed to use (everything, apparently). It was the most restraint he’d exercised in a while, and he had the feeling the wolf’s silence was also the product of some fierce self-control.

One of them had to break at some point, and when Shoyo crossed to the other hall, the wolf ended up being the first to pipe up. It was a silly victory, but Shoyo still felt smug.

“Well?” the wolf asked. “What do you think?”

“It’s…it’s nice,” Shoyo grudgingly admitted. It really was. Everything he’d seen was of the same quality he would see in the samurai homes, or even finer. Whoever owned and lived in this house was wealthy, but preferred a smaller space. Maybe it was a vacation home of some sort that the wolf was being allowed to use.

“…Your room’s on the right,” the wolf said when they reached the other hallway, his pleased relief clear in his voice. The lighter tone of his voice made something soft and warm spread through Shoyo’s chest. It unnerved him, and he was eager to open his room and distract himself.

His room was small but, like the main room, it was small in a cozy way, a way that made sense for a room where only one person would be sleeping. There was a fine set of drawers set against the wall, with a little lantern on top, and across from it was the closet, where Shoyo found a plush futon and a chest filled with extra blankets.

It was a perfectly lovely room to sleep in…except for two things. The first was the walls. There was some sort of paneling lining the outside shoji screens that kept any light from filtering in. The only source of light was the window, which was large and let plenty of sunlight flood the room to make up for the thick walls. But even that had two solid wood panels that could fully block out the sun when closed.

Why? Was it to make sure no sunlight could interrupt his sleep in the morning? But that had never been a problem, and frankly, Shoyo liked being gently woken by the sun when he was able to sleep in until sunrise. Maybe it was a strange preference of the owner. They were certainly wealthy enough to make that sort of specific request. He could just leave the window open and let the sunrise in that way.

The second surprise was the drawer set: the top three drawers were empty for his things, but the last one already had some clothes folded in it. He shook them out one by one. They looked to be a sleep jinbei, a thick winter coat, and a silk kimono that was finer than anything Shoyo had ever worn, even as a samurai.

It was a deep blue, so dark it could have looked black without the sun bringing out the color. The cuffs, collar, and hem were trimmed with delicate gold embroidery. Even the hakama and the underclothes were made of material that was soft against Shoyo’s skin, different from the light cotton he was used to, which could get a little stiff and scratchy if it wasn’t properly sunned.

The most bewildering part was that it was roughly Shoyo’s size. The kimono looked a bit wide in the shoulders, and it was a bit long when he held it to himself, but he still could’ve worn it fine. “Okami-san—”

“It’s yours.” He stared wide-eyed at the wolf, whose paws were shifting restlessly where he was sitting. “Just…just in case.”

“In case of what?”

“I dunno! Better to have it than not!”

“This is…this is too nice to have ‘just in case’!” Shoyo protested. “I think this is the nicest kimono I’ve ever touched, I can’t wear this!”

“Yes, you can!” the wolf snapped back. “It wasn’t made specifically for you, just tailored from mi— uh, a larger kimono. So don’t worry about the…the cost or anything. It’s yours.”

Shoyo fell silent, just kept looking back and forth between the kimono and the wolf. “Who…who are you, Okami-san? And whose house is this?”

“I told you, it’s mine. Are you done looking around?”

“That’s not an answer,” Shoyo grumbled, an echo of their stilted conversation on the journey, before saying a little louder, “I haven’t looked at the last room.”

“Don’t!” Shoyo froze at the wolf’s sharp tone, and the wolf himself looked surprised at himself. “I…I mean…it’s not a room for guests. It’s a mess, not meant to be seen. Just…don’t go in there.”

Shoyo narrowed his eyes at the wolf, but he just stared steadily back at him. “…Okay,” he eventually conceded.

“Okay. Good. Uh…thank you.”

“You’re…welcome?”

They lapsed into an awkward silence, broken by the wolf hastily standing. “Um…I’ll leave you to unpack. I’m going to hunt. Would you, uh…would you like me to hunt anything for you?”

It was an earnest question, that was clear despite the wolf’s awkwardness. That same strange softness from before returned to Shoyo’s chest, and he bit back a smile as he shook his head. “No…no, that’s okay. It’ll probably be too late for me to properly skin and clean it when you get.”

“Oh. Alright.” The wolf started to move, only to pause and turn back to Shoyo. “So…so if I went hunting in the morning, would you want me to bring something back? Since it’ll be earlier in the day?”

“Oh! Um…sure. If it isn’t too much trouble.”

“If it was, I wouldn’t ask,” the wolf huffed. “I’ll be back soon.”

With that, he left. Shoyo trailed after him, reaching the entrance to the house in time to see him leave the yard’s wood barrier and run off the path to disappear into the woods.

And then he was alone, with only the sun slowly crossing the sky for company. No brothers in arms. No family. Just…him, alone.

He stood there, silent in the entrance of the house, until he noticed an ache in his throat and a burning behind his eyes.

“None of that!” he abruptly declared, giving a solid clap on his cheeks to snap himself out of his creeping despair. “Okay! Dinner, then cleaning.” For as nice as everything was, it was impossible to ignore the dust that lined some of the surface, and the slight grime in parts of the floor.

So he set some rice to boil in the kitchen and, as he waited, he passed the time by sweeping the tatami mats through the whole house. Cleaning was surprisingly quick, thanks to the house’s small size, and by the time he was done, he had some freshly cooked rice ready for him.

Paired with some food he dug out of the kitchen, he had a nice, though hasty, dinner to take out to the engawa. After the journey of the day and his time sweeping, he was grateful for the cool mid-spring evening air. And on top of all that, he had a nice little dinner set up, considering how hastily thrown together it was.

As he ate, he fully took in the yard again, now that he knew what the house itself was like. This was…this was going to be his home for the next year. Considering he didn’t have his samurai work to leave for, nor any real need to hunt with the wolf taking care of that…he was going to be spending most, if not all, of his time here, at this nice little house in this nice little yard.

It really was nice. There were worse places to spend a year. He’d even wondered if the wolf was living in a cave somewhere, so this was one of the best-case scenarios. It was nice. He’d be okay.

Even if the wolf was living in a cave, Shoyo would have stuck it out, if it meant getting Natsu the medicine she needed. Compared to the near-certainty of death, this exchange was nothing. What was a year compared to Natsu’s life?

He told himself that and he even believed it. But that didn’t ease the ache of loneliness that had been threatening to fall over him since the wolf left to hunt. Without the distraction of cleaning or cooking, there was nothing to hold his deep-seated grief for his old life at bay.

He…he missed his friends, he missed Yamaguchi and even Tsukishima. He missed his work, the connections he had built with the people he was responsible for protecting. He missed training, sparring with the others, helping Yamaguchi take care of his garden, and even some of his studies.

And while he was already used to only seeing his mother and sister every once in a while, the knowledge that he wouldn’t even have that made him miss them so much, he couldn’t breathe from it.

He tried, he really tried, to hold the tears at bay. But once the first few escaped, there was no holding back the rest of them. Soon a few tears became full sobs that wracked his body so much, he couldn’t finish the last bites of his dinner. He shoved the dishes away and pressed his hands to his eyes, as though he could physically hold the tears back. But they just leaked between his fingers and down his chin, soaking the dirt beneath the engawa.

He didn’t know how long he sat there sobbing, letting out all of the stress and panic and anger and grief from the past week. His tears were justified, he told himself. He would just…cry it all out tonight, and face his new life head-on in the morning.

“Hinata.”

Shoyo abruptly sat up straight, and was mortified to see the wolf standing just a meter in front of him. “O-oh, Okami-san! I was just…eating dinner out here, since the weather’s so nice. I’ll, uh…I’ll clean up now.” He hastily shoved down the last bites of his dinner, swallowing them painfully around the lump still lodged in his throat.

“Hinata—”

“Lemme just…I’m just gonna clean this.” He gathered the dishes and hurried off to wash and store them away, leaving the wolf to stand alone in the front yard. The extent of his embarrassment didn’t fully sink in until he was washing up and putting on his short-sleeved sleep jinbei from home. “Spirits, what’s wrong with me?” he muttered. “Who cares if a wolf sees me cry? It’d be more surprising if I didn’t cry after leaving home.”

But his pride as a soldier combined with the manners he was supposed to show as the guest left his cheeks burning as he shuffled from the bath to his room.

As he crossed the main area, he spotted the wolf laying on the porch and gazing at the lowering sun. His embarrassment urged him to continue to his room, but he couldn’t bear just leaving him alone without saying anything.

“Okami-san?”

The wolf’s ears pricked up before he lifted his head to look at Shoyo. “Yes?”

“I just— I wanted to say—” Oh, he hated this. It had been so long since he truly floundered while talking to someone—he’d forgotten how wretched it felt. “Just…never mind. Good night. Thank you for the welcome.”

“Oh. I— it’s not—” The wolf paused with a huff, before saying in a quiet voice, “You’re welcome. Thank you for agreeing to this. Good night.”

With that, Shoyo closed himself in his room, setting up the futon by the soft light of his lamp and what moonlight could come in. He blew out the lamp, but left the window open as he slid into the futon, and when he fell asleep, the room was bathed in a soft, silvery light.

#kagehina big bang 2022 #kagehinabigbang #kagehina big bang #kagehinabigbang2022 #haikyuu!! #kagehina #shobio #pearl writes #pearl's stuff #at the end of the sun #ateots #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #east of the sun west of the moon #fic #fanfic #fics #fanfics #haikyu!! #hq!! #haikyuu #haikyu #kagehina fics #kagehina fanfics #kagehina fic #kagehina fanfic #shobio fics #shobio fic

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 9: First Snow

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: M; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Miwa Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 3,719; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: With the first snowfall of the year comes the time for the wolf to honor his side of the deal.

A/N: Written for the Kagehina Big Bang 2022! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

If Shoyo was smart, that would have been the only time he let the shadow onto the futon. If he was smart, he never would’ve let him on in the first place.

But he wasn’t smart. He was brash and instinctive and followed his heart, and his traitorous heart urged him to let the shadow in, let him closer. And Shoyo never could put up a good fight against his heart’s desires.

The next morning, the wolf lingered around the house, keeping Shoyo company as he prepared and ate breakfast. It was a pleasant surprise, one that Shoyo didn’t want to question when he could simply enjoy it. Thankfully, the wolf didn’t let him wonder for very long.

“Thank you,” he murmured, his head resting on his paws and his eyes staring resolutely ahead, “for last night.”

Shoyo paused mid-bite, his slow morning brain taking an extra moment to remember what had happened the night before. “Oh!” His cheeks flared up when he remembered everything—their talk about love and family, the shadow’s vulnerability, falling asleep holding him—and he found himself following the wolf’s example and also staring out at the yard. “Um…you’re welcome. I…I’m glad you told me about…everything.”

“Yeah…you, too.” There was a pause, a huff, then, “I, uh…I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Shoyo’s brows furrowed as he turned to look at the wolf. “What do you mean?”

“I dunno, just…I told you all…that, and then I asked you to hold me, and you let me share the futon with you so you could do that, and I just…” The wolf sighed, wilting even more into the porch. “You already do so much, and last night I asked for even more. And you gave me that. You didn’t have to.”

Oh…oh, he was so stubborn and bull-headed and guilt-ridden and kind, and he was going to be the end of Shoyo, he just knew it. He was so worried about asking too much of Shoyo, yet he had no idea how much more Shoyo wanted to give him. But Shoyo couldn’t say all that. He could only reach out and carefully grab at the wolf’s snout the way he’d seen his sister do, giving him a gentle shake before the wolf could process what was happening and try to nip at his hand. “I already told you, I wanted to do that!”

He’d already pulled his hand back, leaving the wolf only able to half-heartedly bare his teeth. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Shoyo’s exasperation finally eased enough for something else to occur to him. “...Were you uncomfortable with it?”

“What? No! I asked for it!”

“So then what’s the problem?” Shoyo asked with a bewildered laugh.

“The problem is—! Is…”

“Is…?”

The wolf let out another huff. “I wasn’t uncomfortable…I was too comfortable. I…I want…” To Shoyo’s dual bewilderment and delight, the wolf tucked his nose under his paws, completely muffling his next words.

It didn’t matter. Shoyo could parse enough of it out. “You want to keep sleeping with me?” His eyes widened just as the wolf’s ears perked up. “That’s not what I meant! I meant—!”

“I know, relax.”

“Oh. Good.” Shoyo cleared his throat. “I just…are you sure you want to share the futon with me?”

The pause after he finished speaking seemed to stretch on for whole minutes. Shoyo could practically hear the wolf thinking, the way he could see it in his flicking ears. When he finally answered, Shoyo was startled by how simple his answer was. “...Yes.”

“Oh…” He could feel his cheeks warming again as he turned his attention back to poking his chopsticks around his bowl. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.” He nervously met the wolf’s gaze and was relieved to see happy surprise in those dark depths. “If you don’t mind me rolling around a lot.”

“Forget that. I’m more worried about your cold toes.”

“Hey!”

Just like that, the tension broke, and they fell back into friendly bickering. Relief flooded every inch of Shoyo’s body—not only had the wolf enjoyed sharing a futon with him, he’d liked it enough to want to do it again…and again…and maybe even make a routine of it.

Which was good. It was getting cold; why shouldn’t they take advantage of shared body heat? Never mind that the thought made Shoyo’s cheeks feel like they could heat up the entire house on their own.

That night, Shoyo didn’t lay out the second futon. When the shadow slipped into the room, he had no choice but to join Shoyo, though he still roused him with a careful hand on his shoulder and a murmured, “Can I?”

“Ah…yeah.” Shoyo lifted the blankets until he felt the shadow take hold of them, then slid to the far side of the futon.

The futon had always been a little too big for just one person, but that didn’t mean it could comfortably fit two, especially two grown men. When the shadow laid down next to Shoyo, he was close enough that his soft breaths lightly tousled his messy bangs. “Hey,” Shoyo murmured, drawing a quiet laugh that eased the heavy tension fitting itself in the small space between them.

“Hey,” the shadow echoed. “Is this…still okay?”

Shoyo could only hum—he wasn’t sure his voice would come out steady enough to hide the electricity zipping through him. There was a pause, before the shadow muttered, “Okay. Good.”

It was the first time Shoyo had heard an audible pout, and he couldn’t help snorting and reaching out to poke at the shadow. His finger sank into a muscle that instantly tightened under the pressure. “Ow!” the shadow cried. “What the hell?”

“Don’t be so grumpy,” Shoyo sniffed. “You’re getting what you wanted.”

He really shouldn’t have still been so affected by the shadow’s quiet, wolven growls. “It doesn’t feel like it when you’re being a jerk about it.”

“I’m not being a jerk! You’re being a jerk!”

“Wow. Good one.”

As they bickered, Shoyo felt his whole body relax, letting the tension seep out of him like melting ice. In its place, bittersweet love bloomed, making his heart ache even as it lightened.

He wondered if the shadow could hear his smile.

He wondered if the shadow knew he could hear his smile.

☾

For all of Shoyo’s internal embarrassment over retrieving the thick blankets and comforters from storage before the first snowfall, he was startled by how quickly it did arrive. The first snowflakes drifted into the yard just a few weeks after he and the shadow started sharing the futon, fluttering to the ground alongside some of the last leaves that still clung to branches.

“It’ll be time soon,” the wolf murmured as they watched the snow fall from the genkan’s open door. “I’ll have to start planning the journey, find the best paths to take.”

“Oh,” Shoyo breathed. The light flutter of the snowflakes couldn’t have been more different from the dread that weighed on his shoulders. “When will you have to go?”

The wolf looked up at him, before nudging his head into his hip. “Not yet,” he reassured him. “I can’t go until my sister visits again. She…she has something I’ll need.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.” With that, the wolf padded out into the yard, his black fur catching the snowflakes and making them glitter like stars in the midnight sky. “C’mon. Let’s hunt before the snow gets any heavier.”

Shoyo may have lost count of the days and weeks, even months, that had passed in his time at the little house. But he still had an implicit understanding of the new routine he’d found, and that included the visits of the wolf’s sister. For the first time, he found himself dreading her next visit, only because he knew her arrival meant the arrival of whatever mysterious thing the wolf needed for his journey, which would begin soon after.

She came just a week after the first snowfall, and sure enough, alongside the usual supplies she brought, she also handed Shoyo a metal jar of thick, minty-smelling ointment. “I know your mother’s a healer,” she quipped as she watched him open the jar and give it a sniff, “so I’m not sure how this holds up to her work. But it’s the best ointment my money could buy, and it should do what our Okami-kun needs it to do.”

“What…what does he need it to do?” Shoyo asked, looking up from the jar to meet the wolf’s sister’s gaze. Her dark eyes were steady, unflinching, much like the eyes he’d gotten so used to.

“The journey up the mountain will be difficult, even for him in his wolf form. If he ever gets injured, or if the cold is too hard on him, that should help.”

“Oh.” He couldn’t imagine what kind of cold would be too hard on a wolf’s body, but she spoke with such confidence that he couldn’t bring himself to question her.

He didn’t notice his hands shaking until he set the jar down with a dangerously-loud clink.

“Hey.” He turned from the engawa to see the wolf’s sister standing behind him, with furrowed brows and a small smile. “He wouldn’t want you to worry like this. Trust that he’ll know what to do.”

“I know, I just—” His breath caught in his chest.

“Oh, sweetheart…I know.” Her soft hands on his cheeks just made the lump in his throat press harder. “Hey…listen, I have something that can help distract you while he’s gone.”

She knew him so well—his curiosity easily overwhelmed the threat of tears, leaving him blinking wet eyes at her. With a grin, she drew a piece of paper and a little satchel out of her bag slung across her body. “It just so happens to be our favorite wolf’s birthday in a few weeks. I don’t know if I’ll be able to return before then, so I wanted to give you these now.”

Shoyo took the paper and satchel from her with wide eyes. “His birthday?” he echoed as he unfolded the paper and looked it over. It was a recipe for some sort of curry, a bit more complex than his own birthday meal, but still more than manageable for him. “How old will he be turning?”

Silence met his question, making him look up to see the wolf’s sister smile sadly. “22,” she murmured. “He’ll be turning 22.”

22. All these months, Shoyo had never realized that the wolf was his same age. 22-years-old…and he couldn’t remember what his human face looked like…how young had he been when this all began?

“There’s some extra treats in there, too, if you can preserve them until his birthday.” Her voice jolted him out of his thoughts, making him open the satchel and peer inside. He found powdery white cookies, some of them impeccably shaped into snowflakes and trees, others smushed into shapes that Shoyo could barely distinguish as flowers. “My son wanted to help,” the wolf’s sister laughed.

The gentle sound brought a smile to Shoyo’s lips. “I’ll take care of them,” he promised, carefully closing the satchel and holding it close.

“Thank you. Now!” She clapped her hands and stepped onto the engawa, her fond smile replaced with a cheeky grin. “Who knows how long Okami-kun will take to come back? I think some tea would help pass the time, don’t you?”

—————————~☾~——————————

Shoyo was awake when the shadow slid beneath the covers. He waited for him to settle down before he murmured, “Are you leaving tomorrow?”

There was a sharp breath, but the shadow didn’t snap with surprise the way he usually did when Shoyo wasn’t asleep. He just sighed after a beat, “…Yeah. I’m leaving first thing in the morning, right after I change back. I…I’ll be gone before you wake up.”

“Oh.” It was all Shoyo seemed to be able to respond with. What else could he say? Every bone in his body dreaded the wolf’s departure, dreaded the loneliness and the cold space in the futon and the quiet of the house.

But to say any of that would be a betrayal to Natsu, to the wolf, to their deal…to himself. So he didn’t say any of it. He couldn’t seem to say anything.

“…Hinata?”

“Yeah?” he croaked, flinching at the raw edge to his voice.

“Hey…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just…nervous, I guess.” He was so much more than nervous, but admitting that would just put more pressure on the shadow, and he knew he was putting enough on himself as it was. “Be careful, okay?”

“Of course I will,” the wolf scoffed. There was a softness to the sound that betrayed the true intent behind it: comfort. “I’m just practicing the route so I’ll be even faster when it’s time to harvest. You’ll barely notice I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that.” Shoyo’s throat was tightening around the words, but he didn’t care. “Of course I’m gonna notice. I’m gonna be counting down the hours until you’re back.”

“Don’t do that, dumbass,” the shadow murmured, his gentle tone belying his teasing words. “Just trust that I’ll be back as soon as possible. You know me. You know I won’t be able to stay away for long.”

“…I know.” He did. Even after the wolf’s less arduous journeys to check on Shoyo’s family, his relief upon his return was always tangible. It didn’t matter if he returned during the day as a wolf, plopping to his side as soon as he stepped onto the engawa, or if he returned at night as a human, collapsing against the pillow with a sigh. His quiet joy always brought a smile to Shoyo, especially knowing that quiet joy from the wolf may as well have been a shout of happiness.

“It’s weird,” Shoyo suddenly murmured, words slightly muffled where his face was pressed into his pillow.

“What?”

“I know so much about you, but I don’t…I don’t know what you look like.”

“You see me as a wolf.”

“That’s not the same.”

“And you’ve seen my sister.”

“You said it yourself, you don’t know if you look alike or not.”

“No, but…our eyes and hair do.”

“I guess...” Blue eyes and black hair and— “What about your skin?”

“Like hers. Well…I guess I’m paler.”

“Really?!”

“Why are you so surprised?” the shadow asked, annoyance and amusement creating a strange combination in his voice and a stranger reaction through Shoyo’s body. “I only have it uncovered at night. Can’t really get a tan like that.”

“Oh…right.”

It was strange, how quickly Shoyo’s patience could ebb and flow. He could endure months without seeing the shadow’s true face, without knowing what he looked like. He’d even gotten by with just a few details revealed to him. But now, with no rhyme or reason, he felt like he might die if he didn’t know those features as well as he knew that voice.

He was also newly aware of the heat radiating from the other body in the futon, the weight that rested within arm’s reach of him and the soft breaths that matched his own. He knew he wasn’t allowed to see anything at night, but he could at least touch. All their tussles and…embraces had proven that.

So he reached out. His fingers brushed a shoulder, and he could feel the muscles jumping under his sudden touch. “What’re you doing?” the shadow asked, his voice sounding strained.

“I…I want to touch your face.” The idea seemed silly when Shoyo said it out loud, but he didn’t pull away, letting his fingers brush a path along the curve of a strong shoulder and the slope of a collarbone. “I know I can’t see you. But…I figured touching was ok.” He didn’t get a response, just the sound of quickening breaths as his fingers moved up a long, strong neck and reached the defined edge of a jaw. “…Is it ok?”

“…Yes.” The word was breathed, as though the shadow could no longer muster a voice, but it was enough. Shoyo shifted closer as he began tracing features that trembled under his touch. There was a soft curve to the shadow’s cheeks, unmistakable even under his light stubble. Shoyo’s fingers brushed soft lashes before he felt those eyes flutter shut, and he took that as a sign to continue moving up to his eyebrows. They felt strong and broad, despite the gentle set of the browbone, and Shoyo could imagine thick, dark brows perpetually furrowed with annoyance.

They weren’t furrowed now. The space between them was surprisingly smooth, providing an easy path down to a soft slope and broad tip of a nose. Shallow breaths tickled Shoyo’s fingertips, and he wondered if the shadow was fighting to stay as still as possible. It was a sweet thought, if a little amusing.

He traced a defined philtrum, and then, with his breath stuttering in his chest, Shoyo let his fingers brush against lips.

They were soft, so soft, and a touch damp, no doubt from the shadow nervously licking at them. His upper lip was a soft line set over the sweet, plush curve of his lower lip, but somehow, it was the feeling of his Cupid’s bow that made Shoyo’s stomach swoop with desire.

He’d been quietly wanting, yearning, loving for a while, shoving it all away out of fear of scaring off the shadow. But now, the feeling of those lips parting under his fingertips and letting a soft breath brush over them sent a spear of desire through Shoyo, so sharp that he would’ve felt dizzy if he hadn’t already been lying down.

He was moving before he even realized it, his fingers serving as a target for his lips and falling away just in time for him to finally, finally kiss the shadow. He’d shifted his whole body closer as he leaned in, and he was close enough to feel the shadow stiffen with surprise as he drew in a sharp breath through his nose. Oh…oh, no. He’d made a mistake, the shadow didn’t want this, he needed to stop—

He began to pull away, only to be caught by long, calloused fingers sliding into his hair and holding him in place. The shadow’s lips were soft against his, even gentle, until Shoyo carefully licked into his mouth and coaxed a small moan from him.

Shoyo had kissed before, but it was never like this. Maybe it was the darkness, his lack of sight enhancing every other sense, but it was intoxicating, the slide of lips and stroke of tongues and nips of teeth. Even though he was human now, and no longer much stronger than Shoyo, the shadow still treated him with the same care as he did during the day. His fingers were careful in his hair and against his jaw, gently coaxing Shoyo to open his mouth more, kiss him deeper, press even closer. And it all made Shoyo feel like he was glowing, warmer and brighter with every brush of their lips, until he thought he could break the impenetrable darkness like he really was the little sun his mother had always called him.

With his focus devoted to drawing soft, helpless sounds from the shadow, he didn’t realize their legs had tangled together until he drew his knee up and heard a surprised moan burst forth. “Wait,” the shadow choked in a hoarse voice, pulling away and now using his hold on Shoyo to keep him from following his lips. “Wait,” he repeated, softer this time.

“Why?” Shoyo winced at how breathy he sounded, with a note of a whine threading the word. He definitely didn’t expect to hear a sharp breath, nor to feel the fingers in his hair and on his jaw to tighten ever-so-briefly.

“Just…too fast.” Words seemed to get caught in the shadow’s throat, but for once, Shoyo stayed quiet. He just laid there, tracing his fingers along a sharp collarbone, relishing the gentle circles being drawn on his own throat. “I don’t…I don’t want you to think that…that this was all I wanted from all…this,” the shadow finally managed to force out, “and I don’t want you to…feel forced into anything.”

“Okami-saaaaan,” Shoyo whined softly, a small smile pulling at his lips. “If this is all you wanted, then it probably wouldn’t have taken you months to get it.”

“I—! I…yeah, I guess.”

“And even if it was, I kissed you. I want it, too.” He couldn’t keep himself from trembling as the hand in his hair trailed down his neck, along his sternum, and settled on his waist to pull him flush against the shadow. A wave of heat washed over him at the feeling of something hard bumping into his hip, and at the realization that he wasn’t much better off.

Still, the shadow didn’t move to do anything more, didn’t let his hands wander down or his lips move past Shoyo’s collarbones. “I think,” he murmured against his skin, “I want to just kiss you tonight. This is already more than I dreamed you’d ever want to do.”

“You dreamed about me?”

Those gentle fingers and lips stilled, and Shoyo wondered, with a broadening smile, if the shadow’s pale skin was pink now. “…Shut up.”

Shoyo giggled, and he heard a soft scoff before lips were covering his again. He kept laughing through the kisses, a thrill running down his spine at the feeling of a smile pressed to his lips. “You know,” he breathed when the kisses began trailing down his neck, “I’d let you do much more with me…if you wanted.” His words cut off into a moan from teeth gently scraping against his pulse.

“I want to,” the shadow groaned into his skin, “just…not yet.”

The emotions Shoyo could hear were thick in the shadow’s voice, a beautiful combination of disbelief and entreaty and joy. “Okay,” he whispered around a tight throat. He trailed his fingers up the shadow’s throat until he could press them under his chin, coaxing his lips back to his. “Okay.”

He didn't know how long they laid there, tenderly kissing with their bodies pressed flush against each other. When he eventually drifted to sleep, it was to lips lazily brushing his shoulder, and matching heartbeats leaping within his chest and against his back.

#ateots #at the end of the sun #pearl writes #pearl's stuff #haikyuu!! #kagehina #shobio #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #haikyu!! #hq!! #haikyuu #haikyu #kagehina fics #kagehina fic #kagehina fanfic #kagehina fanfics #haikyuu fics #haikyuu fanfics #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu fic #fics #fanfics #shobio fics #shobio fanfics #shobio fic #shobio fanfic #hq fics

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Chapter 7: Midsummer

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: This Chapter: M; Whole Work: E

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 4,358; Whole Work: Estimated 100k+

Summary: The arrival of midsummer brings with it a birthday and a complication.

A/N: Written for the Kagehina Big Bang 2022! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

It didn’t take long at all for Shoyo to fit the wolf’s nocturnal changes into his new normal. Once he stopped waking up at the sound of the shoji screen sliding open, he either slept through the night feeling subconsciously comforted by the warm presence at his side or woke up to a low murmur of his name.

During the day, little moments and new memories disrupted his routine, emerging with the summer heat: lazing on the porch next to the wolf with a damp cloth on his face, figuring out how to make cold noodles and glowing under the wolf’s startled praises at night, relishing the warm smell of the sun on freshly-dried laundry.

A month passed before the wolf’s sister paid them another visit and brought Shoyo the promised vegetable seeds. There wasn’t much else for her to drop off after just a few weeks, but she still lingered to help Shoyo plant them. “Are you sure these are still in season?” she asked, handing Shoyo tools and seeds from where she crouched at the edge of the soft soil.

“It might be,” he admitted, “but if it’s too hot for them, I can build a frame and put a cloth on it to shade the garden. I could even soak the cloth with water, so it’ll drip on the plants and keep them fed.” He could remember Yamaguchi doing so one summer, when he had to be away from the palace grounds for a few days and didn’t trust Shoyo nor Tsukishima to remember to water his garden.

The wolf’s sister hummed, her brows raised over wide eyes. “That’s clever. You might have to do that soon. Midsummer’s almost here, huh?” Her eyes flickered over to where the wolf was dozing on the engawa. His ears twitched and lowered a bit, as if he could feel her stare.

Odd, Shoyo thought. But before he could ask anything, she was looking back at him with a smile and a bright, “D’you need anything else?”

And so he added tending to the slowly unfurling buds of green to his slow, warm days.

He took it all for granted, until the wolf suddenly announced that he would be visiting Shoyo’s family the next day. “I probably won’t be back until the day after,” he told him the night before his departure, “but I’ll tell them you’re doing alright, and why you wanted me to check on them.”

That didn’t ease the ache of loneliness that settled in Shoyo’s stomach, an ache that not even hunting could soothe. Out of a silly sense of hope, he still laid out the wolf’s futon next to his, even though he knew he wouldn’t be back. It was unnerving, going to bed and not drifting between sleep and wakefulness to the sound of soft breaths and low words. By the time the second night without the wolf rolled around, the ache of loneliness had condensed into a stone that weighed heavy on his heart.

Then he was shaken awake to a familiar whisper repeating his name. “Hinata…hey, wake up.”

His eyes blinked open slowly, staring blindly into the thick dark. He was only aware of the lips brushing his ear and the hands bleeding warmth into his shoulders, their skin separated only by the thin material of his sleep robe. “Okami-san?” he whispered, almost too hopeful.

“Hey.”

With a gasp, he scrambled to sit up and face the wolf, sparing a mournful thought for the hands that slid away. “You’re back!”

“I’m back.” He could hear a smile in the quiet words, and it pulled his lips into a matching curve. “Sorry it took me so long.”

“It’s okay. How are you? How are my mom and sister?” In his eagerness, Shoyo hadn’t noticed how close the wolf was sitting to his futon, not until he felt his broad hands brush his knees as he shifted back onto his own futon. He pointedly ignored the warmth spreading through his body from the lingering ghost of his touch.

“I’m alright, just tired. Your mom nearly shot an arrow at me when she saw me in the yard—I almost didn’t speak fast enough to remind her who I am. It’s not funny!”

Shoyo didn’t feel any remorse for his laughter, not when he could hear laughter coloring the wolf’s voice. “I think that’s a good thing!” he snickered. “That shows she can still keep them safe! Usually Natsu and I are the ones who fire the arrows at anything that tries to sneak in.”

The wolf didn’t say anything for a breath, then spoke again before Shoyo could ask what was wrong. “Well, it wasn’t a good thing for me.”

“Awwww, quit whining. You’re here, aren’t you? Ow, hey!”

The wolf’s poking finger slid away from Shoyo’s waist before he could catch it. “Jackass,” the wolf grumbled, a laugh still brightening his grumpy words.

“Yeah, yeah.” It was Shoyo’s turn to fall quiet—he knew what to ask next, but a part of him dreaded the answer. “How, uh…how’s Natsu?”

“…She’s okay.” The wolf’s voice was soft, even gentle, making Shoyo’s throat ache from dual embarrassment and gratitude. “Not better, but not worse. Your mother says she still can’t leave the house without getting out of breath. But when she heard me talking, she could at least come to the door and say hello.” Shoyo could feel the futon beneath him tensing and easing from the wolf’s nervous fingers. “She wanted to know how you’re doing. They both did.”

“Oh.” He’d expected them to ask, but hearing it made guilt prick at him. Was it wrong for him to be enjoying his time at the wolf’s home while his family worried after him? “What did you say?”

“I told them that you’re okay, that you’re keeping up with your training and managed to fix up the house, but that you miss them.” Shoyo heard a soft laugh before the wolf continued, “When I mentioned your garden, your mother made me bring a bunch of seeds and cuttings for you to plant some herbs and medicinal stuff. I left them in the kitchen.”

As if summoned by the wolf’s words, Shoyo was flooded by the memory of his mother’s garden, of the thick, comforting perfume of the plants warming in the sun, of the colors that stained her fingers when she plucked and pressed and dried them for later use.

She wanted him to use what he’d learned from her, not just what he’d learned at the palace. She was making sure he remembered that he’d learned valuable skills from her, as though he could ever forget. And she must have fretted over what he would do in the event of illness or injury without access to her supplies and skills.

He could read all that intent in the simple action of her sending along seeds and cuttings with the wolf. A smile tugged at his lips, but when he spoke, his voice was tight, forced low by the way his throat closed around a lump. “Thank you. I’ll plant them tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

Shoyo’s deep, shuddering breath seemed to ring loud in the silence that fell. His cheeks warmed at the wolf’s quiet, worried, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” The word cracked in half. “…No,” he finally admitted with a wince, “but I will be. I just…miss them.”

“They miss you, too.” The wolf didn’t say anything else for a beat, but somehow, Shoyo knew not to speak, knew that he was going to continue. And he did. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault you’re away from them.”

Shoyo reached out and managed to flick the wolf’s knee, smirking at the pained gasp it earned him. “Quit apologizing,” he scolded. “I just…wish you could tell me why we have to do all this.”

“Yeah,” the wolf sighed. “Yeah, so do I.”

———————~☾~———————

Shoyo didn’t mean to lose track of time. For all that he’d adjusted to not having a daily schedule, he’d forgotten about the importance of his old weekly and monthly schedule, too. Without anything to mark the passing weeks and months by, all he really had as a gauge of time was the growing warmth and longer days as midsummer approached.

Usually he would look forward to his birthday, to the simple joy of sharing his favorite meal or drinks with his loved ones. If things were normal, he could’ve been excited to go home and spend his birthday with his family after a year in Edo, could’ve spent the day hunting with Natsu and enjoying his mom’s cooking. He didn’t want to think about that, or else he would think about what he was missing, and he was already doing enough of that as it was.

So he didn’t think about it, not even when the wolf made the first visit to his mother and Natsu. Once Shoyo knew they were doing well, he could guiltlessly enjoy having the wolf back. He’d missed his company, of course he had, but he’d also missed the more restful sleep he got when he dozed off to the sound of the wolf’s soft breaths and sleepy grunts...

Which was how he ended up laying awake one night, staring up towards a ceiling he couldn’t see, until the wolf finally slipped in far later than usual.

“There you are.”

“Holy—spirits, Hinata, why’re you awake?!”

“Couldn’t sleep. What’s that smell?” Now that his anxiety over the wolf’s whereabouts was eased, he was newly-aware of a distant, delicious scent drifting in behind the wolf.

“Oh, uh…I just…reheated the food you left me,” the wolf mumbled as he laid down on his futon.

Weird…Shoyo didn’t remember cooking anything that had smelled like that. But it was late, and he was tired—maybe he wasn’t remembering correctly. Never mind. The wolf was there, meaning Shoyo could finally drift into a deep, peaceful slumber.

In the morning, the wolf was gone, as usual. What wasn’t usual was the smell—it was the same smell he’d noticed the night before, except the wakefulness of daytime helped him pinpoint it more precisely. It was rice and egg and maybe a little bit of meat…no way. It smelled almost exactly like the meal his mother would cook up as a treat for big days or celebrations.

He traced his typical shuffling path to the kitchen, and ended up following the delicious scent as well. It got stronger with every step he took, until his mouth was watering when he stepped through the door. “…Okami-san?!”

There, sitting by the stove with his tail tucked close to his shuffling paws, was the wolf. He looked shy, a sight Shoyo hadn’t seen in months. “Um…hey. Happy birthday.”

“Huh?!”

“H…happy birthday?” the wolf repeated, sounding much less certain. “Isn’t it today? Your mom said it was coming up.”

Shoyo’s eyes jumped between the stove, the pots of rice and meat on top of it, and the wolf sitting next to it all, while his still-drowsy mind scrambled to connect some dots. His birthday, his mom, the familiar home-cooked food…“Did…did my mom share her recipe with you?”

“Yeah.”

“And you…you cooked it? When, last night?”

“Yeah…?”

“Is that why you went to sleep late?”

“Yeah, why?”

“For me?”

“No, I just thought it’d be a nice decoration. Yes, for you, dumbass!” The wolf looked a lot less shy and a lot more grumpy, a sight Shoyo was much more familiar with. “What, does it smell bad? Did I mess it up?”

“No! No, it…it smells delicious. Thank you.” To his mortification, Shoyo could feel tears prick at his eyes.

But the wolf didn’t notice, too busy raising his snout with a satisfied huff. “Good. There’s a bowl of rice with an egg on top in the oven. You can add the meat to it if you want, it should all still be warm.”

Shoyo meant to step towards the stove to take a look at the meat and serve himself a delicious breakfast.

Instead, he found himself falling to his knees in front of the wolf and wrapping his arms around him, burying his nose into the thick fur at his neck. He could feel the wolf tensing in his arms, but that only made him hold on tighter. “Thank you,” he whispered, “thank you so much.”

It was the only thing he could think of saying. How could Shoyo thank him for everything he’d done? Yes, he’d asked him to come live with him for a year, but in exchange, he’d given Shoyo everything he could ask for: food, supplies, a comfortable home, his family’s safety, getting the yamakumo for Natsu, and a companion. A friend.

Bit by bit, he felt the wolf relax, until a soft snout slid over his shoulder and settled into the curve of his neck. “I should be thanking you,” the wolf muttered, his low voice shuddering through Shoyo. “I just…wish I could do more.”

“Don’t say that.” Shoyo pulled away to shoot a small frown at the wolf and received lowered ears in response. “This is already more than I ever expected.”

Silence fell over the kitchen as the wolf gazed at Shoyo for a moment. Then, before Shoyo fully processed the wolf’s movement, he was squeaking from a broad, warm tongue carefully licking his cheek. “Hurry up and eat,” he heard when he stopped cringing in surprise. “The food’s going to get cold.”

“Alright.” Shoyo stood with a final scratch between the wolf’s ears, before spooning some meat into the bowl of rice and egg. He couldn’t wait to leave the kitchen and sit down; his mouth was watering before he could even dig in his chopsticks. The egg was just on the right side of cooked, with a wonderfully runny yolk that thickened the fatty gravy from the meat.

With the first mouthful he took, his eyes fluttered closed as a deep sigh of relief escaped his nose and every muscle in his body relaxed from a tension he hadn’t even known existed. The food was delicious—it was a little different from his mother’s cooking, as was to be expected from a first attempt, but it was still recognizable, still filled Shoyo with a bone-deep contentment he hadn’t felt in too long.

“…Good?” His eyes flew open to see the wolf watching him carefully, ears flicking and tail slowly sweeping over the floor.

“Good? This is amazing!” Shoyo gushed, shoveling in another mouthful. “I thought you said you couldn’t cook?” he mumbled around the food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, dumbass,” the wolf scolded, “and I didn’t say that. I said you could cook better than me. This only tastes good because your mom gave me the world’s most detailed recipe to work off of.”

A grin pushed at Shoyo’s full cheeks. He’d seen his mother’s recipes for food and medicines. He knew how daunting they could be. “Still,” he said once he swallowed, “not everyone can figure out her recipes. So…good job. And thank you.”

“Quit thanking me for everything.” The wolf padded up and nudged his nose against Shoyo’s hip. “I wanted to do this, and you like it. That’s all that matters to me.”

Shoyo had to shove another bite into his mouth to stop himself from instinctively thanking the wolf again. But the wolf didn’t move his head away from Shoyo’s hip, choosing to lean against him, and when Shoyo stuck his chopsticks into the rice, his newly-free hand fell to rest between the wolf’s ears with a light scratch. The slow swing of his tail told Shoyo that his silent thanks was heard, loud and clear.

It was a little strange, eating breakfast with the wolf curled up next to him on the engawa. Strange, but welcome. When Shoyo offered a piece of cooked meat to him, the wolf grumbled, “I made it for you to eat, dumbass,” as though his nose wasn’t twitching in interest nor his eyes alert as Shoyo ate.

Try as he might, the wolf was terribly transparent, endearingly so. Shoyo’s lips pressed thin against a smile as he carefully picked out a strip of meat that was practically dripping with sauce, making sure there weren’t any stray grains of rice on it before he laid it delicately on the wood where the wolf’s snout rested.

He watched that dark nose twitch and those dark eyes slowly blink open to stare at the meat. “…Hinata.”

“Hm?” Shoyo hummed innocently around the bite he’d shoveled into his mouth. “What?”

The wolf lifted his head and stared at him for a moment, his perked-up ears betraying the fact that he wasn’t actually annoyed. “…Nothing,” he eventually mumbled, before carefully eating the meat.

Shoyo’s suppressed smile finally pulled at his lips as he looked away, letting the wolf enjoy the meat without an audience. “Are you going hunting today?” he asked when the sound of chewing faded into silence.

“Was planning on it.” There was a pause. “…Why?”

“Can I come with you?”

He asked it casually, as if his knee wasn’t bouncing with nervous energy. He could see the wolf turn towards him from the corner of his eye, and he pretended to be preoccupied with eating.

“You…you want to hunt with me?”

“Yeah, is that okay?” Shoyo finally met the wolf’s stare, and was relieved to see him watching him with surprised interest and not reluctance. The sight reassured him enough to continue, “I’ve missed it, and I could use the practice to shoot moving targets. I’m really good at it; you won’t even notice I’m there!”

“I want to,” the wolf blurted, “uh, I mean…I want to notice you’re there.”

“Oh.” A pleased flush rose to Shoyo’s cheeks. “Okay. Then…let me know when you go.”

“Sure.”

It took Shoyo finishing his meal and cleaning up everything for the shy awkwardness between them to ease. And even then, the wolf didn’t seem to fully relax until Shoyo appeared with his father’s bow, his quiver of arrows, and a bright smile. “Ready when you are!”

Hunting had always been a solitary activity for Shoyo, with the exception of when he was learning from his father or teaching Natsu. He used it as an escape, a way to get some time alone on the rare occasions that he needed it. When he’d asked the wolf if they could hunt together, he’d been nervous for the wolf’s answer as much as he’d been nervous about possibly regretting the ask.

All the nerves washed away the moment they stepped into the woods together. Shoyo hadn’t realized how much he’d missed feeling like part of a team. The two of them drifted together and apart between the trees, sometimes tracking their own prey, sometimes helping each other corner a particularly quick rabbit or bird. When they eventually returned to the house, it was only because they wouldn’t have been able to carry back any more game.

It was lucky that they returned when they did. Shoyo was barely able to finish skinning and cleaning everything before the sun set, forcing him to wash up and go to bed by candlelight. The wolf was nowhere to be seen as he shuffled back to his room, but when Shoyo was drowsily roused from sleep, it was to the feeling of fingers tracing patterns into the futon by his shoulder. “Okami-san?”

“Hey. Did you, uh…did you like your birthday?”

“Of course I did,” Shoyo laughed sleepily. “I didn’t think I could enjoy it so far from home. Thank you.”

“Oh…good. You’re welcome.”

The low voice sounded strangely bashful, but Shoyo had an idea of how to shake the wolf out of his nerves. “You even let me win at hunting. That was nice of you!”

“…What?”

“What? Didn’t you let me kill more animals?” Shoyo wished the wolf could appreciate the exaggerated innocence in his round eyes. “Are you just worse at hunting than me?”

“It wasn’t a contest!” the wolf griped. “And you didn’t hunt more than me! I got more birds than you!”

“But every rabbit was worth two birds!”

“Hah? Who decided that?”

“I did—ow!” Somehow, despite the thick darkness, the wolf had managed to poke at Shoyo’s ribs with pinpoint accuracy. “You little—!”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“You jerk!” Shoyo reached out and shoved at the wolf’s shoulder. “What, are you embarrassed that you couldn’t beat me, even as a wolf?”

“I’ll show you ‘beaten’.” The words were growled, sounding more wolven than human. A shudder went through Shoyo, though he wasn’t sure if it was from fear or something else, something closer to the warmth prickling under his skin.

He didn’t get a chance to decide. He was too busy squawking at the feeling of his thin blanket being pulled aside and replaced by a hot body braced over him. Large hands glanced over his waist, his ribs, his shoulders, before finally brushing his wrists, sending another shudder through Shoyo.

It was strange, thinking of this invisible presence as the wolf. The calloused hands that traced hot paths over his body, the broad chest that he shoved at, the hips that he could sense hovering over his own…they didn’t belong to a wolf. They belonged to a man, a strong, lean man that spoke to him in the same low tones with none of the rough, wolven edges. They belonged to a shadow, a presence Shoyo couldn’t see, but could still feel in all the ways that mattered.

It was so easy to forget the shadow’s true form at night when he was laying next to Shoyo. But feeling his strong muscles shifting under smooth skin and smelling the warm, comforting scent of him made something else in Shoyo rise alongside the fondness he already felt for the shadow, something that he ignored in favor of shoving at him again. “Get off me!” he shouted, his laughter dulling the demand.

“No.” The shadow had been holding himself up on his knees as he searched for Shoyo’s wrists, but when Shoyo began shuffling to slide out from under him, he sat on his thighs and hooked his feet over Shoyo’s shins, keeping his legs pinned to the futon.

Shoyo cursed the dark. He wanted to get the upper hand, knew he could do it if he could see or didn’t care about hurting the shadow. But neither of those things were true, leaving him handicapped by the shadow sitting on him and by his own caution. He was well and truly stuck—but that didn’t mean he had to make victory easy.

He kept squirming and shouting under the shadow, even when those large hands finally caught his wrists and pressed them by his head. “Lemme go!”

“No. Dammit, quit moving!”

“No!” With both his wrists and his feet pinned down, Shoyo could only writhe and twist his body. It was stupid and ineffective and kept the shadow grumbling and laughing over him, which was reason enough for Shoyo to keep doing it.

That’s when it happened: with all his squirming, the ties of Shoyo’s sleep yukata became looser and looser, until a particularly big arch of his body made the garment fall open. The feeling of cold air against his skin made awareness and panic pierce through Shoyo’s amusement like a spear, and he fell flat to the futon with a gasp.

His squirming had made the shadow growl and topple forward until his forearms pressed Shoyo’s to the floor. Shoyo had never thought much about the shadow going to bed shirtless in the summer. He still wouldn’t have, if his newly-bared chest hadn’t brushed against the shadow’s skin.

That same heated shudder ran through Shoyo, and this time, he recognized it with a jolt: arousal. The feeling of warm skin brushing his nipples and the sound of the shadow’s surprised grunt made Shoyo’s blood run hot through him, pooling down his body until he was suddenly reminded that, while the shadow had been going to bed shirtless, he had been going to bed pantsless.

His panic and surprise left him on a breathless, “Okami-san—”

“Shit, fuck, sorry,” the shadow gasped, scrambling off him until Shoyo was left alone on his futon, half-naked and mortified. “Sorry,” the wolf repeated, “That wasn’t— I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay,” Shoyo interrupted in a quiet voice. He found himself thanking the darkness that he’d been cursing just minutes before. At least now it was hiding the way his hands shook as he re-tied his yukata, keeping the shadow from feeling even guiltier. “It’s not your fault. I started it.”

“Still, I didn’t…I’m sorry, Hinata.”

“It’s okay! I’m not mad, I swear!”

“Then why do you sound—?” His words choked off just as Shoyo felt a flush of embarrassment warm over him—embarrassment and definitely nothing else. “Never mind. Um…we should probably, uh…”

“Go to sleep, yeah,” Shoyo mumbled. He blindly grabbed at the thin blanket and pulled it back over himself. “G’night, Okami-san.”

“Good night. And I’m sorry.”

“Quit apologizing and go to sleep!” His lighthearted order was answered by a soft huff from the shadow.

Despite his blanket and newly-tied yukata, Shoyo felt oddly exposed, even as he drifted to sleep.

His dreams were punctuated by whispers and ghostly hands following the same path over his body that the shadow had traced. But Shoyo didn’t feel scared or unnerved, only anticipation, a longing for more that had his body curving into the touches and his lips practically aching to be kissed.

When he awoke the next morning, it wasn’t with a jolt nor with uneasiness urging him to get up. No, for the first time in months, if not years, Shoyo found himself feeling reluctant to wake up, keeping his eyes shut for an extra few breaths as though he could trick his mind into dreaming again.

The understanding of his dream and the memory of what had caused it finally made his eyes snap open. Oh.

“Oh, no,” he groaned into his pillow. This whole ordeal, the flower and the yearlong stay and the shape-shifting man, was already so weird. Of course he’d found a new way to complicate things even more.

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